NEWSLETTER EWSLETTER NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES N IINNER LIGHT VOLUME 16 NUMBER 2
JUNE, 2005
KEEPING IT SIMPLE by Jim Gordon, President of ILM
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hen I was 8 years old, in my prayer time one day I heard a voice speak to me from the stillness inside. That still small voice of loving said to me, “Jim, keep things simple in your life, in your prayer time, in all that you do. God is simple and the way to knowing God is simple. Do not complicate your inner or outer life; rather, keep it all simple.” That has been my goal in all that I do. To keep it simple. This is a great ideal to live into, and yet I continually find that the world does not ‘do simple’ so much as it ‘does complex’. I find that the world of the mind, the emotions and the physical are ever moving and changing. And in this change there seems or appears to be complex actions and reactions moving in us and all around us. I guess I am very aware of this process of keeping it simple at this time because we have been busy in ILM over the last several months putting together a website. In doing so, one thing that I have become aware of is how simple I want things to be, and how complicated the world makes them. I have been enjoying the process of creating this website along with the others in ILM, and I have learned a great deal about myself in its development. I remember when we first began to put together books for ILM. The challenge then was to be as clear in our communication as possible and to be simple in our sharing and explanations as well. Taking hundreds of pages of written material and distilling it down to a hundred pages of simple sharing took time, patience and focus. I feel that we did accomplish the action of simplicity in our books. I also see us keeping things simple in our newsletter articles. We share from our experience and in doing so we keep it simple. So this has been my goal as we have been creating an
ILM website. The challenge in this has been how websites are put together and how complex the systems of creating websites are. I have learned a great deal about keeping the complex simple as we have developed the site. I have also learned that even when you do simplify things in the world they can still appear complex. So in putting this website together I have found a new challenge for me: to focus on simplicity, and at the same time, to allow the complex to enter into the process. Our goals in putting the site together were to create a place where people can come and learn about ILM, as well as to serve those who are taking part in our spiritual action. In doing this we have created three different sections of the ILM site. The first section is for someone to take a look at who we are and what we are about at ILM. This first section gives a person an introduction and some basic information. One can read about the teachings of ILM, read sample newsletter articles, and purchase tapes, CD’s, and books to discover more about us. There is also a member section, which is for those who want to experience more of what is happening in ILM. After a person registers for this part of the site, he or she has access to information about ILM initiation, as well as information about upcoming ILM events, programs, and retreats. There is also a complete archive of all the newsletters we have published since 1991. In addition we have an audio section, where we will be putting up the most current talks that Brian and I have done at the weekly Tuesday night class in Austin, as well as an archive of past talks. In this way you can ‘attend’ our Tuesday night talks even if you don’t live in Austin, and thereby have a more direct experience with the entire ILM community. We also have a section for ILM initiates. This area gives information to initiates that relates to the inner path of initiation and meditation. This section will support ILM’s initiates and allow a greater ease of communication with Brian and myself. (SIMPLE continues on page 3)
COME AWAY WITH ME by Steven McAfee, ILM Minister the meditation room (not Ahndre’s fault of course, in fact he didn’t even know I was in there)!
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here is a story in the gospels of Jesus telling his disciples about all the service they were doing — how busy they had been teaching and healing. They were so busy that, “they did not even have a chance to eat.” Jesus responded, “Come away with me by yourselves to a quiet place” (Mark 6:31). This is a rather common occurrence in the gospels. There are times when Jesus is in the midst of a flurry of activity, and suddenly he leaves to go off by himself to a “solitary place to pray,” often amidst protests from the crowd or even the apostles. They aren’t finished yet — they want more: more food, more teaching, more attention. Jesus leaves anyway.
So what am I learning from all of this? First, that I need to take the advice of Jesus (not to mention Jim and Brian!) and “come away by yourself with me to a quiet place,” even when, or perhaps especially when, there is still more to be done. We can get caught up in our attachments to the world, not only in terms of our negative karmas and desires, but just as easily with our positive ones. Second, that a good outer life in the world does not replace the inner connection and awareness that take place in meditation. I am blessed with a loving wife, six children and grandchildren, good friends, a wonderful ministry, the gift of music, and a great dog. And I am devoted to all of it. But there is more. I hunger for that quiet time of inner devotion when I can share my love with God in private. Oh, my mind is quick to use busyness as an excuse for not having enough time to meditate: “You don’t have two and a half hours today, so don’t do any — you can do the full two and a half hours tomorrow.” But my soul cries out for it. Not because I should be meditating. Not even because Jim and Brian teach how important it is. Not because of anything external anymore. But because something inside me is longing — longing to swim in that river of loving I have experienced during meditation. I find such joy, comfort, and strength arising within me when I am consistent with my meditation practice. And I find such anxiety and frustration arising when I don’t. My whole life seems lighter and clearer when I am diligent with my meditation; Grace flows so much more fully, and I am so much more at ease with myself. When I’m meditating regularly, a flurry of activity is exciting and fun. When I’m not meditating regularly, that same flurry is stressful and overwhelming.
As I write this article, I am feeling a little like the apostles. Busy! Just in March, Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey spent two wonderfully full weeks here in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, doing initiations, interviews, and workshops. Besides that: I spoke at a local church, we had a community music night, my yearlong “Kindred Spirits” group had a workshop, I assisted my dad in going through eye surgery, my wife and my daughter both celebrated birthdays, and our one-year-old grandson Jayden is living with us now (along with his parents Lisa and Ahndre). Upcoming events as I write this are: a large formal Passover dinner, Tuesday classes starting again the week after, and my son is graduating from college shortly. Whew! So here’s the point: I have been so caught up in my busyness that it has been difficult for me to find time for my spiritual practices. Quiet time in my life is getting harder to find. For example, I used to do my meditation in the early morning. Now, baby Jadyen is a morning person. He loves to get up early, but he does not like to get up at the same time. So if I decide to meditate at 7:00 am, he wakes up at 6:30. If I try starting at 6:00, he may be up at 5:45 or maybe 6:15. You see the problem: there is never a consistent time of the morning for my meditation. So, I decided to meditate at night at 9:30 pm (it’s usually quiet by then). However, the first night I tried that, Ahndre got home from work about 9:45 pm and fixed himself some dinner in the kitchen, which is located right next to, you guessed it,
I now know that there are ‘things’ I just cannot find in the world, no matter how good life gets. But I know a place inside where all the weariness goes away, where my worst fears cannot penetrate, where (COME AWAY continues on page 3) 2
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES
CALENDAR
CLASSES & PROGRAMS: JUNE – SEPTEMBER, 2005 P RESENTED
BY J IM G ORDON and B RIAN Y EAKEY : For additional information, call 512-306-1056.
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EEKLY
CLASSES:
Jim’s weekly Austin class is held Tuesdays 7-9 pm,
ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg, 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100, Austin, Texas No Charge
Each class includes spiritual teaching, practical exercises, group discussion, and meditation. Jim and Brian help participants to become more deeply aware of the Spirit within.
The Three Fold Path (Talk and Meditation) – New CD and Tape by Jim Gordon the Soul quality of who you are out of matter and collecting it fully back unto itself. And then in that Self, waking up and knowing the Self that you are as Soul. And then, in that awakeful state, going out the tenth door, the third eye, and traveling the realms of Spirit.”
“The Path of Sound and Light is a path of action. It’s a path of inner action: of going inside and being active inside, of chanting the name of God inside ... over, and over, and over. Bringing your attention to that Seat of the Soul, the third eye, and drawing up
(see back page for more information) (ILM Calendar continues on pages 4 - 9)
by Jim Gordon
Simple (continued from page 1)
Come Away (continued from page 2)
I hope that you find the website a simple and wonderful experience and a service to you and the ILM community. And by the way, we will not have the website on any search engines. We are not advertising ourselves through this website; rather we are simply creating the site to serve those who are interested in learning about us and who are involved with ILM. The website is: http://www.ilm.org.
by Steven McAfee
sorrow, regret, and shame simply do not exist. In Spirit there is absolute and complete acceptance and ease. It is truly awesome. And, I remind myself again and again, it is my devotion to God in my inner life that has brought forth all the blessings of love in my outer life.
NNER LIGHT IGHT MINISTRIES INISTRIES is pleased to announce: INNER
ILM.org Website ILM.org— — the the IINNER NNER LIGHT MINISTRIES Website ILM.org is being offered to share the basics on ILM, an organization dedicated to teaching "The ofSound Soundand andLight," Light,"and and enable everyone interested to purchase books Path of to to enable everyone interested to purchase ILMILM books, tapesand andtapes CDs online. Those who also choose to register on the website as an ILM Member (with no financial obligation) also gain access to: * Online registration for ILM workshops and retreats * Audio versions of ILM's weekly Tuesday Night Classes in Austin, Texas * All past and present ILM Newsletters * Information on ILM Initiation into The Path of Sound and Light There is also a special section for ILM Initiates Only. Come and and check check out out http://www.ILM.org http://www.ILM.org today! today! Come 3
Experiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreat
facilitated by
Jim Gordon and Brian Yeakey The following are recent pictures and quotes from participants of the March 2005 Austin retreat.
This retreat location and facilitator format has made this the best of this type of experience I’ve ever had. The high quality of the facilities, coupled with the simplicity of the presentations and layout of the interactions was a flawless combination. Very profound. – RB
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The thing that has and will continue to impact me the most is the awareness that I CAN sit in meditation for 2 1/2 hours! – MVL
The love enabled me to reach into the heart of my soul and better understand the upward journey. Thanks so much for the simplicity, elegance, sophistication, bottomless depth of love & devotion to God. I’m leaving with enriched perspective. – DK
Experiencing The Divine – A Meditative Retreat cont’d
(Walking the Labyrinth)
This has been the most freeing experience, simple and pure, without all the drama & trauma; it was nice to experience such loving. – RG
The simplicity and the elegance was absolutely profound. I feel supported but not dependent, and clear about so many things that were cloudy when I came. Thank you !! – KD
Next Retreat Date in Austin, Texas: Thursday, March 23 thru Sunday, March 26, 2006 Next Retreat Date in Kalamazoo, Michigan: Thursday, April 6 thru Sunday, April 9, 2006 Be sure to mark your calendars. More information will follow.
This retreat was the best I have been to in 25 years of attending retreats, since it was singularly focused on allowing each of us to receive greater experiences inwardly. – WES 5
ILM presents:
Sunday, July 31, 2005: EDITATION & SEMINAR EMINAR MEDITATION with J JIM IM and and B BRIAN RIAN with
TIMES OF EVENTS MEDITATION: 9:30 am-12 noon Lunch break Seminar: 1:30-5:30 pm
WHERE: Ohana East Hotel, Waikiki, Hawaii Meeting Room off of lobby located on the 2nd floor For Ohana Hotel reservations: Call Barbara Campbell at 808-921-6679 barbara.campbell@outrigger.com Park in the Ohana East garage located at 2375 Kuhio Avenue (all day parking with validation is $3.00)
DONATION For further information please contact: Nadine Ferraro at 808-988-7509.
INITIATIONand and SPIRITUAL INTERVIEWS July 23 - August 5 Jim and Brian will be available ˜ for spiritual interviews and for initiation for those who have been approved.
To schedule spiritual interview appointments with Jim or Brian please call 512-306-1056 and speak with Laura Doggett.
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I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN: For additional information, call Laura at 512-894-0992. TORIES UNTOLD: Writing is a dynamic tool on the journey to self-healing and self-fullfilment. Writing can be a way to find our hearts, our truths, and our voices. In Stories Untold, we invite the heart to openly and freely feel and express itself, which can ultimately lead us to greater levels of acceptance and forgiveness. Sharing our stories (optional) with a loving, safe and supportive group can deepen our experience. This is an awesome experience! Try it for one weekend and see for yourself. No experience necessary!
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MICHIGAN: SEVEN DAY RETREAT: JUNE 18-25 – Martha’s Cottage, Saugatuck (participants must have attended at least three previous Stories Untold weekends in the past year, unless there’s availability) $350 WEEKEND WORKSHOPS: JULY 29-31 – Kellogg, Gull Lake, SEPT 30-OCT 2 – The Orchard, Lawrence, DEC 9-11 – Pretty Lake, Mattawan $125 per weekend
TEXAS: JULY 9-10, SEPT 24-25, OCT 29-30, Sat: 9 am – 7 pm, Sun: 10 am – 4 pm ILM Center, Austin, Texas
365 D AYS
Donation
IVING C ONSCIOUSLY : What if you had one year to live? How would you L Might you want your yearlong journey to be about living each day mindfully, living it
OF
want to live it? authentically, with integrity, and might you have it include forgiveness, acceptance, and loving? What if you could live each day this year consciously and deliberately? Throughout 2005, our LIVING CONSCIOUSLY group will meet one Sunday each month. Join us NOW!
Sundays
JUNE 12, JULY 17, AUG 21, SEPT 18, OCT 23 2-4 pm ILM Center, Austin, Texas
Donation
COUPLES GATHERING & DINNER:
You and your partner, significant other, better half, etc., are cordially invited to share in an evening of dining with other couples. Regardless if your relationship is brand-new or long-lived, a partnership or marriage — we’ll celebrate our loving and gratitude with these persons with whom we live and share our lives. JULY 3
5 pm
Tom and Laura’s Home, Dripping Springs, Texas
No Charge
PEACEMAKER REUNION:
This is a reunion for all those who have taken the PeaceMaker Workshop since 1996. We have a heartfelt afternoon planned followed by a dinner. Please join us for this momentous occasion. JULY 23
Sat: 1–6 pm
Kellogg Biological Station, Richland, Mich.
Donation
IRCLE OF WOMEN – H H B : What are the essential elements C of healing from an illness? Focusing on a holistic approach, we’ll first do a live blood cell analysis for each EALTH AND
EALING IN THE
ODY
participant (just a prick on the finger), in order to gain information about what is going on in the body. Then, we’ll map a plan to optimum health for ourselves. Expert in her field of Heath and Healing, we welcome Joy Sabultara as she leads this evening’s group.
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JUNE 10
Fri: 7–9 pm
ILM Center, Austin, Texas 7
No Charge
(ILM Calendar continues on next page)
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY STEVEN MCAFEE, MIDWEST COORDINATOR: For additional information, call Steven at 260-485-2167. UESDAY CLASS SERIES: Steven offers a series of weekly ILM classes in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, on T Tuesday nights from 7-8:30 pm at Unity Christ Church. Each series focuses on a specific spiritual topic
and runs from 4-6 weeks in length. Some of our recent topics have included: Jim Gordon’s book, The Knowing of God, mystical teachings from the Kabbalah, a study of first century Christianity, and the ‘lost books’ of the Bible. Please call Steven for up-to-date information on the current series.
ILM
OMMUNITY NIGHT: More music nights are on the way! We’ll provide soft drinks and munchies. Please RSVP a week ahead so we can plan appropriately.
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JUNE 8, JULY 13, AUG 10, SEPT 14
7-10 pm
Steven & Anita’s home, Ft. Wayne
No Charge
“ INDRED SPIRITS” YEARLONG STUDY GROUP: The following events are open only to those already enrolled in the year-long KINDRED SPIRITS study program.
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RETREATS: JULY 15-17
Fri. 7:30 pm-Sun. 2:30 pm
WORKSHOPS: JUNE 12, AUG 21, SEPT 18
2:30-5:30 pm
Seasons Conference Center, Augusta, Mich. Brigade of Light, YWCA
Ft. Wayne
$150
Donation
CONTEMPLATING THE LOVING WORKSHOP:
We will be sharing a cozy bed and breakfast inn at Lake Michigan. The day will include periods of meditation, group sharing, journal writing, readings from mystical poets (like Rumi), and free time to explore the beautiful lakeshore and the quaint town of South Haven. Our focus will be on contemplating the loving in our lives and ways to develop a deeper realization and appreciation of its blessings. AUG 6
10 am-5 pm
South Haven, Mich
Location and cost to be announced
HE MERKAVAH MYSTICS: The morning session will present an overview of the “Merkavah” or T “chariot” — ancient teachings about the methods used by prophets such as Ezekiel for consciously
experiencing the inner realms. In the afternoon session, we will learn about some of their prayer and contemplation practices. Lunch provided. AUG 7
F
IRST
11 am-4 pm
Lakeshore Interfaith Institute
Ganges, Mich.
Donation
CENTURY MYSTICAL PRACTICES WORKSHOP: The morning session will
introduce basic teachings from the Kabbalah (Jewish mystical writings) as the framework on which Jewish mystics, including Jesus, built their prayer and meditation practices. In the afternoon session, we will have the opportunity to actually practice some of their prayers, chants, and meditations together. Lunch provided. SEPT 10
9:30 am-3 pm
Cottage Retreat Center
Jackson, Mich.
$50
S : Steven frequently serves as a guest speaker for various churches and spiritual S groups in the Fort Wayne area. If you would like him to speak to your group, please call to make UNDAY
ERVICES
arrangements. The following are presently scheduled: JUNE 12, JULY 3, AUG 21, SEPT 18
11 am 8
Brigade of Light, YWCA
Ft. Wayne
(Midwest Calendar continues on next page)
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR EVENTS IN THE KALAMAZOO, MICH AREA: Please contact Carolyn Dailey at 269-327-6851 or email carolee12@chartermi.net for more information on the activities below.
S : Carolyn Dailey is conducting semi-monthly ILM tape seminars in T the Kalamazoo area. Each seminar includes: Calling in the Light, a short meditation time, and listening ILM
APE
EMINARS
to a tape or CD by ILM Ministers Jim Gordon, Steven McAfee, or Brian Yeakey. 2nd & 4th Thursdays
11am-12:30 pm
2485 Brahms Ave., Portage, Mich.
No Charge
ILM TUDY G ROUP : Carolyn Dailey is conducting a Love and Loving study group based on the ILM book by the same title written by Jim Gordon.
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Wednesdays
6-8:30 pm
Executive Suites and Services, 5955 West Main, Kalamazoo
No Charge
Waking Up In Spirit An ILM Retreat
When: October 21-23, 2005 Time: Friday, 7 pm thru Sunday, 12 noon Where: Potawatomi Inn Pokagon State Park, Angola, Indiana For more information please contact Steven McAfee at 260-485-2167. ILM REGISTRATION FORM: Please fill out this form, and send a check (payable to ILM) along with this registration form to: Steven McAfee, P.O. Box 5139, Fort Wayne, IN 46895. (Please print.)
Waking Up In Spirit
N AME ( S ):
E MAIL :
A DDRESS & Z IP C ODE : D AYTIME P HONE :
E VENING P HONE : 9
ON
MEDITATION:
(an excerpt from a recent talk given by Jim Gordon)
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“Oh!” my mind is now kicked in, and it’s going, “What was that?! Where did that come from? How do I get that to happen again?” And now my intention is not on God, and the experience ends — which was the second disappointment.
he idea in meditation is to hold your intention here (indicating the “third eye”), and let your intention simply be, “God, I love you. And I’m open to receive your loving.”
So I found that the next thing for me to do was just to relax, and to hold once again to that simplicity, the simplicity of just being with God. Not to get distracted and get caught back up into the mental or the emotional, but rather to stay simple, to stay neutral, to stay quiet, to not be active or reactive in this place of being with God, but just to be with God. And I found the easiest way for me to do that was just to sit and say, “Lord, I love you. I love you. And I’m opening to receive your loving, so that as I give so shall I receive. And whatever it is that is blocking me in my receiving or in my giving, I just ask for your assistance that your loving come and lift up any and all things that are between me and you, that I may love you and you love me.”
One thing that you’ll find, if you don’t have any other intention in meditation but sharing your love with God and receiving God’s love, is that you will wake up to a place of simplicity inside of yourself that will begin to open, and open, and open, and open, and you will move very quickly up into those realms of Spirit where simplicity and love reside. It is here at the Seat of the Soul (indicating the third eye) where the Soul, that divine spark, does dwell. God created, and out of God came all things including us — “us” the Soul. And so we are going to wake up to God here first. So we want to hold our intention here first, and not have anything before God at this level of our being.
And so in meditation I am just ever focusing on loving with God. And when I chant the name of God inside I have the intention that every time I say the name of God inside it’s me loving God. I’m just loving God, and loving God, and loving God. And when it comes quiet inside, I am now receiving from God. I’m listening. And as I’m listening, I hear the sound, or I see the Light of God come in, which is God’s love being shared with me. And I may feel it come in and move through my consciousness, or I may feel that Love pull me all the way up and out into itself, so that I live in the Loving for that moment.
Now I can remember when I sat down to begin meditating years ago. I got very discouraged with my meditation — for two reasons. One, when I would set an intention and then begin to go inside to find the Lord, all I found was darkness. I couldn’t see God. Oh I’d thought, I’m going to close my eyes, I’m going to set my intention, and God is going to be right there and it’s just going to be that simple. But I didn’t find God that quickly. I found darkness first. And as I sat there, day in and day out, not seeing, not hearing, not experiencing, I began to find myself getting discouraged and wondering, “What is this all about? If I’m meditating and if I’m really setting an intention on God, then where are you God, why aren’t you showing up? Why am I not seeing you, and why am I not hearing you? Why am I not experiencing something? Why am I just in this quiet and nothing else?” And suddenly I realized that in the quiet and in the nothingness is where I was going to find God. It was first into that quiet and into the nothingness that I had to move. And that realization was the beginning of moving into a simple place, into a simplicity. And so, as I began to realize that and relax into that first space of simplicity, there was a flash of Light. And I went, “Oh!” Well, in meditation, the moment I go,
And then all of a sudden my body starts calling me back, or my emotions, or my mind, or I find myself distracted once again. And I go, “How did I get over here? I was in that loving place, and now I’m over here thinking about my checkbook, or about this or that?” Well, that’s just the nature of the beast. Don’t judge it. And don’t sit there and try to figure it out. And don’t dwell on, “Well, okay, why am I back here? What’s going on here?” Just say, “God bless you. And God loves me.” And put yourself back on God. Bring yourself back to the original intention of being in love with God, and letting God be in love with you. Live in the simplicity of loving. 10
LOVING EVERY MOMENT by Laura Kesten, ILM Minister By the end of the commercial, I found myself both laughing and crying. My thoughts and feelings collided with one another, creating this grand finale of fireworks of knowing both sides of this change: first, remembering how electrifying 18 felt, which bumped into feeling excited for Cally, which then bumped into realizing that she’d be leaving soon — and my excitement, like the dad’s in the commercial, and perhaps like my mother’s years ago, bumped into sadness.
very day in our lives we experience a myriad of changes: from little things like a new recipe or a new haircut, to a surprise like a flat tire, to bigger changes like pursuing a new job and relocating, to facing the death of a loved one. There are also times when we experience a change in our role in life: once a student, then perhaps a teacher; once a caregiver, then perhaps a patient; once a child, then for many of us, a parent. Like the seasons, change is inevitable in our lives.
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I felt a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. But at some point, I realized that I had a choice. Thinking about the change to come, I could either stay stuck with a sore throat and bad digestion or I could live in the moment — consciously embrace every moment with Cally while she still resides in our home, as well as embrace the future moments as they come and live in the fullness of them. Suddenly, I began having a much different experience. Not only have I become excited for Cally, I’m also excited for myself. I’m looking forward to whatever new adventures come my way ... which reminds me of another commercial that aired several years ago. Like the first commercial I shared, the daughter is going off to college. At the door of her parent’s home, she hugs and kisses her mom and dad, and turns and walks to her car. Her parents wave good-bye; mom dabs a kerchief at the corner of her eye. As the daughter drives away, she says, “My parents look so sad. This is going to be really hard on them. I hope they’re going to be okay.” Still waving, mom turns to dad and says, “Got the tickets?” Dad pulls the tickets out of his back pocket, grabs the suitcases, and mom puts on Mickey Mouse ears as they both rush out the door.
Presently in my life, I’m going through “once a child, then a parent, then (soon) an empty-nest parent.” I’m watching my daughter, Cally, as she finishes high school and prepares to leave home to attend college. This is causing my own memories of being 18 years old to flash before me like it was just yesterday. Graduating from high school, working my first job, packing to leave home to go off to college — everything was so new and exciting. All I could think about was traveling the open road free of parental demands, rules, and discipline. Back then, I was so fully into my own experience that I did not consider what my mother might be experiencing at the same time. Then about a year ago, I saw this great television commercial which beautifully expressed a parent’s and a child’s different experiences of this same event. The commercial went something like this. You see a dad looking at tires with his daughter and you hear the dad’s voice-over recounting that day. The dad says, “Our daughter is going away to college soon and her mother and I want to make sure her car will get her there safely. It’ll give me a little peace of mind when she’s out on the road. It’s her first trip alone. I‘m a little sad she’s leaving. We’re going to miss her.” The voice of the daughter is now dubbed over the tape and she says, “I’ll be leaving for college soon, so my dad wants my car to be road-safe with new tires. It’s my first trip alone. I can’t wait to go to college. I’m so excited!”
For Cally and I, our lives will be changing. That’s life on the physical plane. It’s inevitable, and although neither of us can really know how this change will feel or affect us, how one day we may kick and scream, and another move into ease and grace, I am realizing that the only choice I want to participate in is to consciously love every moment of my experience. It’s in this way that I feel in sync with the movement of life, and with the movement of Spirit in my life. 11
LETTING GO
OF EXPECTATIONS by Brian Yeakey,
How I wanted things to be, what I wanted it to look like — it wasn’t happening the way I wanted it to. So, inside of me was this internal pressure building up, hoping somehow it would make things happen the way I wanted them to happen. Yet, what I wanted to happen wasn’t. What was I to do? How do I create what I want in my life ? I realized that I’ve held the belief that when I wanted something in my life I had to somehow envision it and move towards it, to be responsible and create it. It was up to me to make it happen. However, all I was experiencing was an internal pressure from unmet expectations. How could I create what I want in my life without the expectations?
Vice President of ILM
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ecently, in my meditation, I was aware of an internal pressure that was not allowing me to go deeper within. The pressure wasn’t physical or physiological in nature, but rather something psychological or emotional that I was experiencing inside of me. This pressure was ‘pushing’ on me in such a way that I experienced it as holding me back or pushing my focus more into the world rather than going into Spirit. So, since I wasn’t able to get beyond this internal pressure, I figured I might as well take a look at it and see what it was about and what it might have to teach me.
I realized that what I needed to do was to let go ... let go of the expectations that I had already created, so that they would no longer create this internal pressure that was holding me back from going deeper into the Spirit within me. So right then and there, I began letting go. I gave my expectations up to God and asked God to take them and to fill them with loving, that they may be released and freed up so that I could once again be in loving oneness and connection with God. And all that I experience may be in that loving oneness and connection with God. And sure enough, that’s what I experienced. I felt the expectations go, and I experienced God’s loving fill me and free me so that all there was inside me was the experience of loving. And after a while, things came to a quiet inside. And I was left with, “Now, what am I going to do?”
As soon as I made the decision to look at it and learn from it, the energy began to shift and open. And the first thing I realized is that all I have to do in my life is be willing to look at something within me, to confront it, and it will automatically begin to open up for me. Have you ever heard the saying, “That which we resist persists”? I have found that if I will just look at whatever comes forward in my life, acknowledge it, and begin to work with the experience, any resistance drops away. It’s when I try to avoid, ignore, or fight with it that the resistance continues. So I’ve learned that this first step of being willing to look at and acknowledge whatever presents itself is of major importance for overcoming resistances within myself. As I continued to look at this process going on within me and as it continued to open up, I also realized that part of why it was opening up for me was that I was willing to take responsibility for what was going on inside of me and to do something about it! The resistance was coming from me not being willing to be responsible for what this pressure was that was going on inside. And now that I was doing something about it, this part within me began to open up and share with me.
Now that I was free of those expectations, instead of creating more of them, I decided to just be in loving with God. To actually get back to meditating in the truer sense: to love God and let God love me. And as I moved back into that internal flow of loving, through chanting The Names of God (as taught in ILM), I began to realize that the way to create without expectations is simply to be in loving with God; that that internal flow of loving with God is truly where creation takes place. I realized that the flow of loving is ‘the creator’, not ‘me’. That all I have to do is be in the internal, creative flow of loving, and that which ‘I’ truly want to create already is! There is nothing for ‘me’ to create; I simply ‘let go’ and know that it already is.
So as this opened within me, I became aware that the pressure I was feeling was my own expectations which I had created around a situation in my life. Or more accurately, my expectations that weren’t getting met! 12
ELEGANCE ON THE PATH by Bill Stratton,
meals were perfect for a retreat venue for all of the participants, both vegetarians and non-vegetarians. All together the retreat was well set up for a very rich inner and outer experience. Throughout the retreat I could easily see the elegance in the setting and accommodations, and how these elegant features (both in simplicity and in richness) created harmony to enable each participant the opportunity to fully experience Spirit. But what about elegance on the inner journey of this Path of Sound and Light?
ILM Minister
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ver the past few years I have heard Jim Gordon talk about The Path of Sound and Light that ILM is now sharing with others as one of simplicity and elegance. In Jim’s talks I have heard much about the simplicity of this path: simply chanting the names of God in meditation while keeping one’s focus ‘singular’, at the Seat of the Soul, or the Third Eye, and then moving inwardly upward into and through the different levels of consciousness as one moves forward within the flow of God’s loving. It is an inward journey that requires simply sitting down daily and meditating. Simple, yes, although indeed it does takes time, patience and a refocusing of one’s priorities.
As I contemplated this one afternoon at the retreat, I realized that as one travels on this inner path there is the elegance of the alignment of one’s consciousness in moving from the physical to and through the different levels of being; i.e. the imaginational, the emotional, the mental, the unconscious and the Soul levels. The journey is a natural flow of Spirit, and Spirit is actively present to guide and work with each of us to help lift us and move us forward, or rather, upward and onward. With that flow, that movement, comes the experience of opening inwardly, and of attuning to God’s abundance — of joy, of loving, and of peace. With these qualities comes a different experience of the world around us and a lessening of the pull from the world which tends to dominate our lives. The whole process of The Path of Sound and Light becomes the proverbial “effortless effort” — a pleasingly superior (Webster) process of going back home to God, whereas we move towards Spirit, Spirit in return moves toward us in greater ways. In other words, elegant.
With this in mind the idea of simplicity on this path is understood. However, recently I realized I hadn’t given much thought to the part about elegance. In Webster, the word “elegant” is defined as: nice, choice, or pleasingly superior in quality or kind, as a contrivance, preparation, or process. This made me wonder how elegance applies to this path. Is the focus of simplicity elegant in itself, in the sense that this path really is spirituality pared down to its essence; that is, of simply going within in meditation? Or is elegance an actual experience one has when traveling on this inner journey of The Path of Sound and Light? During the recent ILM retreat, Experiencing The Divine — A Meditative Retreat, I was inspired to look at the aspect of elegance on this inner path. There was elegance physically: the setting was a beautiful retreat center nestled in the countryside outside of Austin. The weather was spring-like and comfortable throughout the long four-day weekend. There were beautiful peacocks roaming the grounds, including a white one which most of us had never seen before. The accommodations were equally wonderful and comfortable, and the
The elegance of this path that ILM is bringing forward is simply reconnecting to our own divinity through meditation and experiencing the richness of who we are on all levels. This inward movement with Spirit is beautifully set up by Spirit, and all that is needed from each of us is the time and the ability to sit down, close one’s eyes, chant inwardly in a focus of loving God and allowing our own journey back home to God to unfold. Simple and elegant. 13
I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER ABOUT ILM INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES (ILM) is a non-profit organization dedicated to teaching spiritual awakening through an inner practice of meditation. This meditation practice is an inner path through which the soul transcends the physical realms of creation to its true home in the spiritual realms within the heart of God. In spiritual teachings and literature this inner path is often referred to as “The Path of Sound and Light,” “The Path of The Holy Spirit,” “The Path of Love,” or simply as “The Path” or “The Way.” ILM offers initiation into this meditation practice enabling one to fully experience this inner journey of awakening. To provide support for those individuals interested in this path, Inner Light Ministries offers numerous publications, materials, programs, and services, which encourage devotion to God and support a life-long practice of prayer, meditation, spiritual study, and service.
ILM:
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New Product The Three Fold Path (Talk and Meditation) by Jim Gordon
2 CD set or Tape — $9.00 (See page 3 for a quote from the talk.) Please add $3 postage and handling per order (not per item). Checks may be made payable to INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES and sent to:
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