Impulse Magazine | Fall 2019 | Vol. 15

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IMPULSE Vol.15

Fall 2019


contributors

Enrique Hernandez Editor in Chief

Monica Wilner

Creative Director & Director of Photography

Jessica Badofsky

Social Media Director & Event Planner

Claire Martin Managing Editor

Emma Campanella

Writer & Photographer

Tiarrah Golliday-Murry Writer & Photographer

Ashley Weiser Writer

Bailey Wort

Writer & Photographer

Impulse Beauty Correspondent Writer

Konrad Eiring

Jeff Urbahn

Artist

Artist

Yoshi Flower

Naambia Mitchell

Artist

Model

Elena Gatti

Isabella Manobianco

Artist

Contributor

Julia Morrison

Nadia Kacmar

Artist

Model

Eddie Smoliak Model


IMPULSE Fall 2019

Vol. 15


culture

fashion

art

music

contents

Yoshi Flower Bailey Wort p.8

Konrad Eiring p.12

Elena Gatti p.20 Julia Morrison p.24 Inspired by Guy Bourdin Monica Wilner p.30

Escapism through Fashion:

Enrique Hernandez & Monica Wilner p.38

Samsara

Ashley Weiser p.48

Soft.

Emma Campanella p.50

Redefine Your Idea of Beauty Tiarah Golliday-Murry

p.54

Psycholo-tea

beauty

Claire Martin

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p.56

The Search for the Perfect Eye Cream p.58


Escapism through

Fashion

p.38

Enrique Hernandez & Monica Wilner

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letter from the editor

When the Impulse team met in January to discuss the narrative, course, and creativity of the issue you are currently reading, we were enamored with the power of women in the dawn of a new era. I am proud to say that through seeking and filtering through the immense talent on this campus, we were also able to illuminate and give a platform to women as never before seen in previous issues. When I was given the opportunity to become the leader of this magazine, I wanted the general public to have a response to what we were trying to put forth, and resonate with the central message that fashion and art are two formidable forces forever intertwined. In addition to this, I wanted the public to know that women serve as the central narrative to these forces and will continue to do so for centuries to come. To all the women I worked with in constructing this issue and seeing it come to fruition, you have all of my sincerest gratitude and there is no conceivable way to repay you besides giving you the platform you so rightfully deserve. I only hope that other men in power are able to do the same, and that they are able to listen to your stories, be profoundly moved by your work ethic, practice empathy, and embrace the inevitable fate that a future of inclusion is a future that we all so rightfully deserve. All my love,

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music

Yoshi Flo 8 Fall 2019


ower

Written and Photographed by Bailey Wort

On sexual freedom, rave culture, and democracy, this is: Yoshi Flower. Impulse Magazine’s Bailey Wort met pre-show with Yoshi Flower in Chicago, Illinois on the kickoff night of his first headlining tour. Here are the highlights.

–Interview Volume 15

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music I want to start by discussing your album “AMERICAN RAVER” as a whole. Everything you put into this album seems very intentional – from the cover art, to the cohesive message from the song titles, along with the clips of Brandon Wardell commenting on your album – it’s all immersive. Can you walk me through those decisions?

protest music or mellow music – but I’d call it alternative music. I only say that because [my music] sounds different than what’s really popular.

Yoshi Flower: I wanted to show that our generation is creating a new America that is no longer what we were taught in school. We were always taught someone else’s version of “what is” and now we have the power to create a world that is a new vision of what could be – and it’s our narrative. With the cover art, I wanted to show that something like homosexuality or sexual freedom is something that is just as American as a pair of blue jeans or a pack of cigarettes. That was really it.

YF: The feeling that I would want to have described next to [my music] is just feeling. Sometimes I buy a product or I’m confronted with art and I don’t really know what to feel – or if I [should] feel anything at all. So, I’d like to make something that doesn’t take too much guesswork to start feeling something, if anything at all. That’s really it.

It was a moment of love and honesty and after listening to the music it just matched. So that was really our motivation behind it. Weirdly, I know you talked about things being intentional but everything that’s worked and has seemed intentional that I’ve done has had zero thought behind it because it’s natural and it’s honest and it’s real. When I think about things, and I think when other people think about things, it blurs their true intentions – at least in my experience. I do something when I feel it in my stomach, and [the cover art] was just one of those moments. The titles of the songs as well. It was instinctual. There was no thought really put behind it, and that’s why I think it was so thoughtful. Can you expand on the clips of Brandon Wardell talking on your album “AMERICAN RAVER”? Was that scripted? YF: [laughs] We were at breakfast and I was telling him about that mixtape when I was in the process of making it. I was telling him my goals, my motives, and he was like, “man, what does your dad think? What do older people think that gave you an opportunity to be as free as you are and you’re… not being ungrateful, but wanting change – wanting more?” I told him that I don’t know what [my dad] thinks. When I finished the mixtape, [Brandon] was listening to it in the elevated space so to speak, […] then he did ten minutes of monologue about the album. The [clips] on the album are just a few that we picked, but [hearing him talk about the album] was really funny. I was grateful to have someone poke fun at me because people don’t really tell you the truth in life, unless they’re a really good friend. Your music comes from such an honest place and it doesn’t necessarily fit in a genre – it’s a collection of genres in itself. Could you define how you view the genre of music that you make? YT: I like listening to music that makes me feel okay that I’m out of place with whatever I’m doing. I’d like to be that kind of music. I don’t know if [my music is] necessarily party music or

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Can you also define your music in terms of the feelings you would like your songs to instigate?

Your album is entitled, “AMERICAN RAVER”, what is about rave culture that infatuates you? YF: Just the feeling of being okay with being extremely lost. […] A democracy really mirrors a rave. [At a rave,] they have someone play music that everyone supposedly wants to hear. It is supposed to be a dynamic of freedom and expression, but as a rave becomes more commercialized, the awesome, beautiful, freeing foundation – the bedrock that it’s built on can get really fucked up. It’s like America. The principles of it is incredible, but along the way it has been really warped. I just felt that really resembles a rave. Finding ways to fill the void – material, spiritual, sexual, all of those are really American things and they are the things that you do at a rave too. I think that was my infatuation with it. Growing up in Detroit, [raves] were the spaces where you could really be yourself. I didn’t go to a festival until I was like 19, and I was like, “hey this isn’t a rave. This is hard to fit in. That just stuck with me.” Yoshi Flower’s album “AMERICAN RAVER” can be found on Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube.


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art

Konrad 12 Fall 2019

Eiring


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art

KE: My focus was to represent a consumable product in such a way that it sat on a razors edge between a product and an art form. So often clothes are sold to us more by the people who wear them rather than the form, color, or how they make you feel. I wanted to create a line with powerful symbolic imagery to exude confidence in anyone who wears it. The original images were hand stitched with the manipulation of the clothing allowing for individual expression and breath. I am heavily influenced by music and how it makes the listener feel. The response people have to certain music and how it affects confidence is electric. I wanted to try and capture the raw bravado that is expressed in the music industry and channel it into one of a kind pieces. Notice how the stationary photographs take life as they move from the wind. Photography by nature is stagnant while fashion flows. Clothing Design/Alterations, Styling, Model, Photography, Editing, Post Print Editing, and Installation all by Konrad Eiring Photographs of installation by Jeff Urbahn

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art feature artist

Elena Gatti 20 Fall 2019


Once I arrived at college, I became more in tune with my surroundings and cherished the new friendships and connections I was making. It was the first time in my life I really started to find inspiration in people, even those I never knew. The women I have met at U of I have made it not only easy for me to create, but they have allowed me to find joy in art again. My art focuses on the power women embody in the most simple way possible. I find that using simple colors and lines lets my pieces speak for themselves. I am no longer afraid of making mistakes while I create. I think that is what makes my work natural and personal. In some way, I even like to think of it as a new personality shining through in my work. Aside from women in my life, nature and animals have also greatly inspired me. Feminism combines with nature in my art, it is so organic and mindless. I want other women to take what I have to say and form it into their own source of power or courage. My philosophy is to see beauty everyday in the most simple of things. I truly believe this has allowed me to become someone who is obsessed with life. We can tend to get so caught up in the drama of it all, what went wrong today, and what could go wrong tomorrow. Life is such a gift and I want to support women and those around me to find something beautiful everyday. There is so much beauty surrounding us and in us, I want women to share that every day. I want women to go to sleep excited for what tomorrow will bring. Can you see yourself or someone you love in those simple lines? Does it make you think a little differently? Did a smile appear on your face?

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art

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art feature artist

Julia Morrison 24 Fall 2019


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art

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“I think the human form is something people love to look at. Voyeurism is entertainment, and nothing is more entertaining than questioning normalcy and the conventional standards of beauty. The human form is a formula that I love pushing the boundaries of. [And in the most profound way] you, as the viewer, do not need to know what my art means, or what it is-- because that is my secret and my secret alone.� -Julia Morrison

as told to Impulse Magazine

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art

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Guy Bourdin fashion

Inspired by:

Photography by

Monica Wilner

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fashion

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Guy Bourdin was born in Paris in 1928. He was a painter his entire life and a self-taught photographer. He worked for magazines such as Vogue and brands such as Chanel, Ungaro, and Charles Jourdan. Using fashion photography as his medium, he sent out his message, one that was difficult to decode, exploring the realms between the absurd and the sublime. Famed for his suggestive narratives and surreal aesthetics, he radically broke conventions of commercial photography with a relentless perfectionism and sharp humor. Guy Bourdin’s use of color blocking in his clothing choices is what inspired me most for this shoot. He also mainly used women and showcased them in an over sexualized manner. I wanted to put a man in this scenario just to show how ridiculous it is to portray any model that way, regardless of gender. This was mainly an exercise to push my photography outside of my comfort zone and put myself in the shoes of a prolific fashion photographer who truly changed the industry he was in.

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fashion

Escapism through

Fashion: Naambia Mitchell

Written by Enrique Hernandez Photography by Monica Wilner

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fashion

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Urbana is such a quaint, charming place. On the one hand, you have art students living with their closest friends in repurposed, overpriced houses, and on the other, there are families in residential homes caught in the perfume of cannabis and an electronic cigarette. It is an unseasonably warm March evening when I arrive in an Urbana apartment complex for a closet visit. Naambia Mitchell, the Fall 2019 cover star, opens the door and lets me in. What ensues after is a near two hour conversation about hair, makeup, sweaters, cashmere, denim, leather, and everything in between. At the end of the visit, we settled on four looks, fully accessorized and story boarded for an outdoor shoot scheduled for that Saturday. On our shoot day, the weather is dismal-- cold, rainy, and grey. However, the weather has no effect on Mitchell, she remained in a calm, collected manner the entire duration of the shoot. Like a thunderstorm looming in the distance. Mitchell is a Senior at the University of Illinois majoring in Art Education and slated to graduate in December 2019. She grew up spending her time in the Chicagoland suburb, Aurora, and Chicago neighborhoods of Rogers Park and Hyde Park. “[Art education] was a long time coming, my favorite teachers were art teachers and art education was perfect for me, it seemed like something I always wanted to do,” says Mitchell. Given that the trajectory of the art world changes with every waking moment, it can be easy to become discouraged when pursuing any career in art. However, one of the most notable takeaways from the arts is how seemingly in demand they are: everyone is seeking training to master Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign. The old saying “life imitates art,” could not have any more depth and truth than at this moment in time. In the digital world, art has become a commodity and social media has

transformed the idea of an authentic self-concept into a highly contrived and calculated representation of one’s life. “I want my future students to have a skill that makes them marketable, but still maintain the escapism of art, I want to blend self-expression and capitalism” Mitchell says. The struggle for students of color at Urbana-Champaign are ever evolving. Mitchell recalls the vast amount of microaggressions she faces outside of the classroom, many of them arriving courtesy of white men. “White men are unaware of the things that they say and their impact, they are absolutely oblivious to their impact,” she says. Mitchell tells me that she gets told “you’re cute for a black girl” frequently at parties, and typically white men will try to use this line to make an advance, to which they never succeed. It is appalling that this is the reality that people of color face, especially when their beauty is fetishized, or undermined, due to their race or ethnicity. The escapism that Mitchell feels when producing art is very much similar to the escapist emotions that are produced when she approaches fashion. “I used to wear whatever was comfortable to me, but then I began to pursue fashion in a serious context my senior year of high school,” she says, “ if I am feeling shitty, I will dress to the nines and automatically feel so much better and so much more confident.” “I seek fashion as a form of escapism, it frees me.” Freedom will take full form with the new era of educators poised to transform the cultural and racial landscape in our classrooms whether it be through trigonometry, or the infatuation that is brought upon the artistic experience.

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culture

Samsara Written by Ashley Weiser Photography by Monica Wilner

The accelerated popularity of documentary film has resulted in an increased commercialization of what was once a more authentic media vehicle. While documentaries continue to inform humans of new topics, ideas and cultures, a heavier hand seems to be placed from film-makers, eager to get their opinion into the stratosphere. While I don’t negate the important work of many documentary films, I worry that people have become accustom to being told what their outlook should be rather than forming an individual perception. What do we believe, feel and connect to before we’re informed of the opinions of others? Our digestion can be dangerous as much as it can be powerful. If we become more conscious of what we choose to consume, we can illicit ourselves to enter far more effective conversations. It’s hard to come across these types of media vehicles that ask us to look inward, while we simultaneously look outward at what is being shown to us. Show, don’t tell is exactly what the documentary film SAMSARA provides us. An incomparable sensory experience. Translated to “the ever turning wheel of life” SAMSARA takes us on a journey across the globe, visiting twenty-five countries in the span of five years. Our expectations of a traditional documentary are flipped upside down as the images splashed across the screen are accompanied by music rather than dialogue or text. That’s right- no words. None. Ever. To be frank, when my friend introduced this film to me I was hesitant. So, if you’re reading this and not sure if this is for you I understand the apprehension. But, I implore you to take a step out of your comfort zone and let the guided meditation take lead. The filmmakers’ extraordinary attention to detail and appreciation for impeccable still photography is an accolade 48 Fall 2019

on its own. The craft of the camera creates a clarity that isn’t commonly found. What’s so powerful about this piece is the infusion of ancient with modern, simple to extraordinary. The lens is placed on the wonders of the world as well as the depths of human spirituality. We enter an exploration of human life alongside our planet’s own lifecycle, placing a mirror on the two. Ironically, this film leaves you anything but speechless. Yet, unable to fully describe the journey in which you’ve just embarked on. As much as the documentary elicits an individual exploration, it opens a door to new and important conversations with others. While it’s important to have individual interpretations, if we limit ourselves to our singular outlook we’re unable to fully capitalize on the interconnection of life that is being searched for within the film. An important reminder in collaborative conversations is to free your mind of assumptions. Therefore, not only when you speak with others about this film but also when you are simply viewing the film. In other words, don’t consider your interpretation to be the only answer, or even correct for that matter. Practicing humility allows us to create deeper and more honest connections with those around us. Allow someone else to be “right,” and absorb what the film has to offer to us all. A rebirth of life.


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culture

Soft. Written & Photographed by Emma Campanella

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culture Interview with Natalie Hayes, Interview with Heather a Senior at UIUC and a lover of Levon, a Junior at UIUC and a plants lover of butterflies Emma: What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned at college? Natalie: Don’t be so deterministic about why people do things. There’s always something else going on. Put your ego aside because you don’t know everything and sometimes you just don’t matter. Putting that aside will help you better understand people because maybe they’ve had a bad day. E: How has that changed your life so far? N: For my own sanity and maturity it’s a lot better. You feel better about yourself in general when you stop blaming yourself for why other people might be mean to you. It’s also easier to relate to more people and makes me more compassionate. E: How do you try to implement this into your everyday life? N: It’s in the little things. If I want to be more understanding of people, it’s up to me to self-check. E: What are some challenges that come along with not assuming things? N: It’s so easy to blame yourself. Sometimes it just doesn’t matter what I did at all, and that’s the hardest part. E: Any advice for people reading this? N: You don’t have to cut out everyone in your life that’s mean to you. Start with yourself and how you’re thinking that you’ve caused people to be mad at you. If you don’t like a part of you, change it. Just start with yourself, it’s a lot easier. Perspective is… Not judging someone else because you don’t know what they are going through. It’s being open to new experiences even if you’re scared. It’s catching negative thoughts swimming through your mind and seeing them in a positive light. Anais Nin, a well-known journalist and writer, said, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”. Two people could be looking at the exact same thing and see it two different ways. It’s all a matter of which parts of it you choose to focus on. I’m not going to lie, weaving this concept of perspective into your life is hard. Just like how your eyes refocus on these words fighting for your attention, you have to correct your focus on what life presents to you. Sometimes it may feel easier to sit back and let negative thoughts wash over your body. It’s definitely easier than pushing back against them. But the effort of doing this now will pay off later when the norm of your thoughts becomes positive. I constantly have to catch myself and correct how I’m viewing different situations that I’m in. Things might not make sense. I find myself spitting out “this isn’t fair” or “how can this hurt so badly if it’s supposed to happen”. Life can be painful, but once I emerge from the cloud of emotions I can see clearly. My lungs are no longer filled with debris and my eyes no longer burn. It takes me time to move through painful periods of life, but at some point I can look back upon them as lessons that were necessary. 52 Fall 2019

Emma: What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned at college? Heather: That there is something to be learned from every moment, the good ones and the bad. E: How has that changed your life so far? H: It’s added value to this banal academic bubble. E: How do you implement what you’ve learned into your everyday life? H: Keep my eyes open and notice how beautifully everything is happening together. E: What are some challenges with trying to implement what you’ve learned? H: It’s hard to be patient! Healing and lessons take time. If I had control of time, things would go much smoother. E: What advice can you give the people reading this? H: Don’t water da dead trees, you dummy.

About a year ago, a monk came into the grocery store that I work at. He carried himself with such peace that radiated from him and pulled me in like a magnet. We began talking and with every word he said, the bustle of people around me faded to a murmur. I could tell he was a wise soul and I was ready for the brimming knowledge to drip into a flood. In his view on life, he explained to me how he believes that each person lives 9 lives. Someone on their first life is someone selfish. They are judgmental, ungrateful and have plenty to learn despite thinking that they know everything. Someone on their last life, their ninth life, accepts everything for how it is and finds contentment in each passing presence. I felt in my heart that I was meant to talk with him and I made my appreciation for his time very known. Many questions floated to the top of my mind. I wanted to know how people reached their next life. I wanted to know why suffering was necessary. I talked with him for so long that my manager had to nudge my arm several times to let me know I needed to get back to work. I won’t understand how our paths crossed, but it was supposed to happen exactly when it did. He can’t answer those questions for me because I need to experience the answers myself.


Interview with Iulia Ciubotariu, a Junior at at UIUC and a lover of birds Emma: What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned in the past four years? Iulia: It’s not so much a life lesson but more a lifestyle that I wanted to pick up, which is being more environmentally friendly. I realized that I cared about being greener back in highschool, which now has motivated me to pick up a less wasteful lifestyle. I try to look for sustainable and ethical companies when it comes to food and clothing, which helps me and the community! E: How has that changed your life so far? I: Becoming greener and more Earth-friendly has changed my eating habits, shopping habits and even the way I look at nature. I’ve become more protective over it and try to help whenever I can. E: How do you implement a greener lifestyle into everyday life? I: I always have reusable bags and jars in my car so I don’t forget them when I go to a grocery store. The little steps are important because it’s hard to make a zero waste switch all at once. You have to use up the products that you have and slowly make a change. Doing it overnight is very unrealistic. E: What are some challenges that you have faced while adapting this lifestyle? I: Oh my god, beauty products! It’s hard to find good shampoos, conditioners and deodorants, but you just have to try out a bunch of different products. E: Any advice you could give someone reading this or any tips to start being greener? I: It’s not as hard as it seems. There’s little things that are not very hard to do but they matter a lot. If everyone changed two or three little things about their lifestyle to be more green, that would have a very big impact. For example, it’s easy to start using a reusable water bottle and reusable grocery bags. Start with something small! I’ve been told many times that I am an old soul. Being vulnerable and open has allowed me to meet so many kind people that I would’ve otherwise missed. But over the past few years, I’ve noticed that I display this “tough girl” front. I’m not entirely sure why I do this; maybe it’s from all the pain I’ve experienced with relationships. Pain is good because it teaches you what you need in order to grow. It just took me some time to process and learn from each person that touched my life and left. But lately I’ve been noticing that my front is cracking, each split allowing more sunshine to kiss my skin again. I still don’t take people’s bullshit but I’m trying to walk around with a smile more. Maybe one that even crinkles my eyes a little. Don’t let life harden you up. Instead, hold its hand sometimes. It has a lot to teach you and it’s all for a reason. Stay soft, xo.

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culture

Redefine Your Idea of Beauty

Written & Photographed by Tiarah Golliday-Murry

A letter to the reader... Growing up and being surrounded by television and magazines featuring beautiful places, beautiful things, and beautiful people can feel as though the world is one’s oyster. Looking into the mirror and seeing yourself reflected, one may ask “Am I Beautiful?”. Is having someone proclaim that I am beautiful enough or seeing people like me on the screen giving me a since of familiarity and security in myself? Asking consistently what makes an individual beautiful, do we look to the pages of a magazine, browse our television screens or do we scroll through never ending posts, overwhelming ourselves in the ways media has shaped our perception of this world. Is it enough to just be told one is beautiful, but what does beauty truly mean? Is it something one can see with the naked eye, or does it go much deeper than what the eye can see? Growing up hating the skin that glistened in the sunlight, obsessing over my weight and body that allowed me to get where I was going, and wished for longer and naturally straight hair instead of being confident in my kinky hair that should be worn as a crown. Years spent hating what I saw in the mirror because there was hardly anyone in the beauty and media world that looked like me. I was an outsider looking into what a select group of people seemed to be beautiful, but not anymore. Looking towards influencers who celebrate differences and show that beauty is more than what is on the outside which allowed me to redefine what I consider beautiful to my own eyes. Beauty by definition is a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight. Yet, the question is by whose beauty standards are we following? Are we following the ones set by our own selves or what media in all its forms tells us is beautiful? Set your own beauty standards and what that word means to you. Joshua Jones a Black male Marketing major exclaims what it means to be beautiful and if it is enough to be told so “I mean, reading and being told that I’m beautiful is very nice, but it really isn’t enough. I need to see the action followed up with the words. If someone or society proclaims that I am, I need to see the solidarity and love with it. The first time I’ve felt like that, is just having that crazy amount of confidence. Like you can go up to a random person and hold a conversation and not feel awkward. You don’t worry about how you look towards other 54 Fall 2019

people, because you’re insured mentally that you’re great.” Confined to this one way of thinking of what beauty is instead of showcasing how vast the world beauty is can be troubling “I often do not feel like having someone tell me that I am beautiful is enough. Nor does reading a story that reassures me that I am beautiful enough usually do the job. When I have felt beautiful, it is only induced when I have my own self confidence that I feel beautiful. It is when I look in the mirror and do not immediately think of negative things to say. It is when I am happy with my body and my skin and my hair. People do not often treat me different when I feel beautiful. But some days I will get more compliments if I put a little more work into my appearance that day.” Said Ysabel Floresca a female Filipino Community Health


major. Why should we only specifically give praise when we put on a face for people. Why as people are we so succumbed to the idea of dressing up and fitting into the trope of what it means to be beautiful. Media as a whole should push to show not only different versions of beauty whether that means skin, hair and culture, but dive into how vast the concept of beauty is and how it can mean different things for different people. Showing different representations of beauty would give way for people to be comfortable in their own skin and have others as well accepting them for who they are. Alice Han a South Korean Advertising major says it best “The inside matters more, if they comment on my personality it means more to me. I feel now a days in our society is driven by external beauty standards.”

What I would want you to take out of this if anything is to know that who you are is beautiful and enough. Go out and challenge the beauty standards and fight for more representation. Speak out against those who dim your own light while staying true to you. Own your own narrative and your identity, but don’t let perceptions and ideologies in this society hinder you from knowing your own truth and what you are capable of. Despite what is shown and the lack of people who may look like you, you are beautiful. Figuring out oneself is hard enough and to be consistently shown how you should look, dress and act makes finding out who you are even more difficult. Who and how you choose to express yourself and your beauty should not be hidden but showcased and encouraged. Volume 15

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o-tea

Written by Claire Martin

Being insecure makes you vulnerable to outside influences. When you lack confidence in the way you think, the way you feel about yourself, or maybe even in who you are, you begin to look to others for the validation you fail to find from within. A common way to accommodate this need is to look to others for validation, which then becomes craved, and ultimately, overvalued. External validation. It will always let you down. I think external validation is extraordinarily dangerous and I am going to tell you why. I see a connection between groupthink and the need to be accepted by others. Especially when the acceptance is conditional. Therefore, if someone thinks you are great then you are great…and if they think you are bad, that means you are bad. The danger with this is that you become susceptible to altering who you are in order to please someone else, you can slowly turn into an inauthentic version of yourself, which can further stimulate the effects of groupthink. Groupthink is the psychological practice of thinking or making a decision as a collective group, which in turn discourages individuality or creative exploration. This alteration, if you will, may feel right for the purposes of fitting in, a term I struggle to even accept as much, because what does “fitting in” really mean? In your search to belong to a group your natural maturation begins to be shaped by the needs and collective ideals of the group in which you belong in. You take on the character of others, rather than the character you were meant to be. Greek life has influenced a lot of my interest and selfreflection in terms of external validation, groupthink and insecurity. I spent the majority of my college career in a sorority. My time disaffiliated from my Greek organization has opened my eyes to the impact it had on my self-esteem. Pre-college I spent my life not giving a fuck about what anyone thought about me. If I liked it, I did it. I was confident in myself, who I was, my intentions and the makeup of who I was; for that, I owe my parents everything.

Then, I signed up for sorority recruitment. That whole process is just beyond twisted. I talked to probably fifty or more girls, among nineteen houses who would collectively decide whether they wanted me or not, whether I checked the right boxes. What the fuck is that about? Who created this concept that only certain girls should be friends with certain girls, that if you’re not like us you belong elsewhere? Isn’t that the complete and utter opposite of where we strive for this world to go? We fight for equality, yet we create systems that uphold the opposite. Greek life is teaching us exclusivity and conformity. If you’re not like us, you can’t sit with us. It advocates the separation of different types of people; it deserves to be challenged. I’ve struggled with the direction to take this piece because there are so many avenues worth touching on. Like the normalization and advocacy of serious underage binge drinking or why group-think stops us from becoming open minded and independent individuals. But, I want(ed) to make this (relatively) simple. Open yourself up to things that are different, people that are different, thoughts that are different. Whether that it be as simple as different foods or languages. Learn about cultures unlike your own, and you might be surprised on what you find. We must teach ourselves to feel comfortable with our disparities in order to find a greater acceptance with one another. Allow yourself to engage in some healthy self-reflection. Ask yourself why you’re judging? Find out why you put your focus on others instead of yourself. Why do you care more about what other people think instead of what you think? Explore how you really feel about yourself. No growth occurs within the comfort of your own normality. Let’s push ourselves, let’s be good people and let’s find reason to love the good in each other instead of hate the bad. I believe fearlessly that if we simply entertain these ideas, if we give them a chance, it will eventually influence the way we live our lives. The way you think influences the life you lead. Volume 15

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beauty

The Search for the

Perfect Eye Cream Written by Impulse Beauty Correspondent

Who really needs eye cream in your early twenties? The answer: you do. On a campus that is riddled with Juul clouds, cannabis, the occasional cigarette and a sorority girl spritz of Marc Jacob’s Daisy, the elements of the outside world are everywhere. What’s more, is that these elements target and seep into the thinnest layer of skin on your face: your under eye area and lip area. Arguably, lip balms are much more commonplace, and the traditional, old 99 cent Chapstick everyone has had once in there lives will do wonders when used and applied correctly. When it comes to eyes, however, that topic is much more taboo. Therefore, the Impulse beauty team did the work so you would not have two. Below are our top three eye creams of the season, all that we ask from you is to pick up the one that will make you look as youthful as when you exited the womb.

Kiehls

Youth Dose Eye Treatment

($39, Available at Nordstrom and Kiehls Boutiques)

This muti-powered anti-aging cream with Pro-Retinol extracts goes smoothly on eyes with the dropper-like applicator. Almost instantly, eyes feel absolutely refreshed, rejuvenated and lifted from corner to corner. Within the two-week trial period of this product, the skin around the eyes appeared firmer and was suitable for use day and night. Although, if you have sensitivity to the sun, we recommend using this one more at night, or layered with sunscreen during the day.

58 Fall 2019


Glossier

Bubblewrap Eye + Lip Cream ($26, Available at Glossier.com)

“I have to admit, I’ve been having a serious affair with Mario Badescu Rosewater Facial Spray. I’m in love with all its natural ingredients. The spray has bladderwrack, a type of seaweed that is known for its anti-aging, dark spot reducing and detoxifying qualities. The hint of gardenia and aloe helps moisturize and soothe my skin and the rose extract naturally brightens and firms. This facial spray with aloe, herbs and rosewater is the Holy Grail Spray.”

Clarins

Super Restorative Total Eye Concentrate

($56, Available at Nordstrom and Clarins Boutiques)

Although this cream is the most expensive of the bunch, it tackles a couple of symptoms that the other two do not and that is fine lines and dark circles. During our trial run with Clarins, we specifically put the cream on after a long night out, and the next day, the results were clear: not a dark circle in sight. No puffy hangover eyes here! A little bit goes a long way, and given the price tag, you want to savor this baddie up until the last drop.

Volume 15

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Copyright Š 2019 by Impulse Magazine All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Editor-in-Cheif and Creative Director except for the use of brief quotations in a review. Champaign, IL www.impulse-magazine.com



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