IMPULSE Vol. 18
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CONTRIBUTORS
Tiarah Golladay-Murry Editor in Chief
Catherine Bixler Creative Director
Emma Schafman Managing Editor
Lindsay Lathrop Director of Photography
Dejah Sartin Photography Assistant
Ally Lin Public Relations Director
Milan Rajababoo Social Media Director
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IMPULSE Spring 2021 Vol. 18
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CONTENTS
CULTURE Petrichor: A Reflection. Emma Schafman, p. 8 The Currency of Greenwashing Catherine Bixler, p. 10 Why Your Coronavirus Jokes Aren’t Funny Ally Lin, p. 12
PHOTOGRAPHY Tiarah Golladay-Murry, p. 14 Juan Diego, p. 20 Savannah Roberts, p. 26 Jake Bassler, p. 32 Milan Rajababoo, p. 38 Lindsay Brooke Lathrop, p. 44
ART Brendan O’Shaughnessy, p. 58 Natalie Bready, p. 60 Kaitlin Mikrut, p. 64 Nikki Kelsay, p. 70
FASHION Vulnerability is The New Black Caitlyn Petrousek, p. 74 Keep Going Dejah Sartin, p. 76
BEAUTY Editor's Picks, p. 78 4
PHOTOGRAPHY
Lindsay Brooke Lathrop, p. 44
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Dear Impulse Readers, Impulse has truly impacted the way I see fashion, culture, and art all around me. When asked to be a writer for Vol. 15 of Impulse, I had no idea that 3 years later I would be appointed to Editor in Chief. I knew that by taking this position, I would be given a chance to push boundaries. Fashion, culture, and art resonate differently with so many people cultivating their minds and challenges what is deemed possible. By seeing life through a different lens and experiencing what life has to offer. Whether we like it or not, we do not have control over everything and everyone. It is about how we experience what we are given and make the most of it. Impulse captivates life and the experiences of each individual. In order to create this magazine, I thank Emma Schafman, Milan Rajababoo, Catherine Bixler, Lindsay Lathrop, Dejah Sartin, and Allison Lin for their hard work and dedication. Each member of the team brought creativity, innovative thought, and incorporated their own personality throughout the magazine. They pushed me to become better and expand my own creative mindset. Creativity as a whole comes from all around us. Impulse brings together inspiration and creative thought from so many minds. I aimed to evoke emotion and make it unique to Impulse. Being the first Black woman as Editor in Chief granted me the possibility to open doors for people like me and amplify voices. I hope you enjoy this experience that is Impulse Vol. 18 and I hope this issue inspires your own creativity.
With love,
Tiarah Golladay-Murry Editor in Chief
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CULTURE
Petrichor: A Reflection. Written by Emma Schafman
I often longed escapism through the feeling of intimacy in a crowded room with hundreds of strangers who disappeared at the end of the night. Seeing beyond their face, getting a glimpse of their story preserved behind their eyes. Knowing that they too have a life of their own filled with memories faded by the years they live on. I found myself avoiding my own mysteries trying to decipher the sporadic passerby, ignoring the constant calls of my inner self waiting to be heard. Taken for granted is only the beginning of how I can explain that feeling. I’ve learned that you will find your spark in places you do not choose to look. My perspective shifted from thinking happiness was an end goal, somewhere you’ll get to one day, to discovering that it is a feeling you have to find in everyday victories. Reminding myself to slow down, I developed an incomprehensible hunger to rip out my roots and plant new seed. Allowing myself to be present in a singular moment cleared my vision of what could be or what might be and forced me to accept natural course. Thinking too deeply into the future fogged my perception of what was happening right in
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front of me. I lost time envisioning what she might feel later on. I was robbing myself of today. I’ve realized that the joy I’ve accumulated was not gifted by the moments that were supposed to happen, but by those I could never predict. It was not handed to me on a silver platter, intricately planned by my increasingly anxious mind. The days where I had no route were days that brought the most pleasurable moments. I replaced any negative word with “healthy” and quickly realized how fast I started living life for myself, and not for others. Sometimes you have to accept it might not get any easier than how it is. You simply adapt to your situation and learn to cope with the struggle you face head on every single day. You can find peace in the unexpected. It makes you resilient. After long days without rain, a storm will come. And instead of wallowing inside, you come out, inhale, and exhale. ▪
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My perspective shifted from thinking happiness was an end goal, somewhere you'll get to one day, to discovering that it is a feeling you have to find in everyday victories. 9
CULTURE
The Currency of Greenwashing Written by Catherine Bixler Greenwashing may sound like a painting technique you do to prepare a canvas. It does share some symbolism with the act of covering something up. The term has gained popularity in recent years thanks to the rise in climate change coverage and consumer-generated branding faux pas call outs on social media, both spurred by calls for change and transparency. That being said, how does the term relate to those things? Greenwashing is, by a conglomerate of definitions, the act of companies marketing their products as helping the environment when the business strategies and impact of the products are actually not eco-friendly at all. The consumer, you, is
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entranced with green packaging or cute little leaf iconography, and you think you’re doing Mother Nature a solid. It’s a mind game to fool you into buying more stuff, which in essence is the opposite of living a more sustainable lifestyle. Several industries are guilty of this type of green marketing - a term for strategy behind an 'ecofriendly' product. One such company was the cheating emissions scandal of Volkswagen in 2015. Software in over 500,000 vehicles gave false readings to emissions tests, breaking the Clean Air Act in America. They knowingly did this.
Tide purClean laundry detergent, with its light and airy colored packaging, had initially claimed their formula was elusively plant-based and assumed consumers wouldn’t add up exactly what was the formula. The NAD (National Advertising Division) strongly recommended it tell its customers that it was only 75% plant-based while the rest is made from petroleum-based products. It is important to add that you have to visit their Canadian website to even read the full ingredients list of their purClean products. Whilst it is easy to point fingers when companies sell questionable products, it is hard to recognize when the workers in the supply chain aren’t part of the easily sellable ‘green’ image. We have read for years how poor working conditions can be in other countries. One such industry: fast fashion. H&M, Zara, and other international brands have created sustainable goals and initiatives. However, in places like the Pearl River Delta, wastewater from factories making jeans and the like are contaminating the growing urban region. There are multiple industries moving to the Delta, now dubbed a megaregion, due to cheap land and labor, and close proximity to Hong Kong.
the stain on their name instead of cleaning up and improving themselves. What if they saw the money in improving our planet, instead of a cash grab? Don’t get me wrong; greenwashing is bad. On the other hand, there is a significant rise in green companies doing well because people find them exciting. They want to be involved in something that will improve the planet. Investors see the moneymaking effect of being a genuine, transparent company. It’s important that we see greenwashing for what it is and try to correct it by putting our money where our mouth is. Invest in your choices. Raise your consumer voice. Keep an eye on environmental policy for the years to come. Like there is in government, there should be a checks and balances system between people and brands. ▪
I acknowledge it’s hard to protest something so big, expansive, and almost untouchable. We have been fighting the waste of fast fashion for decades. As for products, we have the FDA and NDA to keep companies in check. And if we’re lucky, companies like Volkswagen, and most recently Ford (in the middle of their own diesel emissions scandal) will be held accountable. However, even if all these companies get called out, it usually ends with dishing out millions of dollars to effected consumers and turning a blind eye to 11
CULTURE
Why Your Coronavirus Jokes Aren't Funny Written by Ally Lin
Your jokes, which stem from the ignorance of a President who refers to COVID-19 as the "Kung Flu," are not funny. Your jokes about eating bats are not funny. Your jokes about staying away from Asian businesses, or even worse, Asian people, are not funny - even if your Asian friend awkwardly chuckles when you tell it. They are racist and insensitive.
I have found myself in a constant state of anxiety leaving my house. As a second-generation Asian American who is fully assimilated into American culture, speaks perfect English, and attends a predominantly white institution, I am terrified. I can't even begin to imagine how my immigrant parents are feeling.
As if Asian-Americans hadn't been through enough, we are being targeted, harassed, and assaulted amidst this global pandemic. This is fueled by xenophobic comments made by the President of the United States, the media, and if you're reading this article, most likely, you or someone you know. If you haven't seen the videos of Asians being attacked during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, it's because you are not looking.
The casual comments from passengers on public transportation about how "If that guy just hadn't eaten that bat, none of this would be happening." The long, glaring, silence of someone staring, which forces me to wonder, "Is it because I'm Asian? Do they think I did this?" The feeling that I can't leave my house without being judged for the shape of my eyes and the color of my skin. Sound familiar? I know I didn't do anything, but I also know what I look like to the world.
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There are three things I want readers to take away from this article:
1. Understand the culture. Asian culture is completely different from American culture. There are many types of Asians (Korean, Japanese, and Indian, to name a few). Not everyone is Chinese. If you don't understand it, read. If you don't want to read, then you have no right to speak on the issue.
2. Be an active ally. Look out for the Asians around you. Not just me, and not just the ones who can speak perfect English. For example, I would imagine foreign exchange students are terrified of returning to campus because of the hate comments that they will undoubtedly receive from their American classmates. Stand up for them, even if it makes you look like you care. That's the point.
3. Read. Learn. Take accountability for your actions. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay if you've made racially insensitive jokes, or used racial slurs, or even made fun of someone's culture. Your mistakes do not define you. The important thing is to own up to them and continue to learn and grow. Life is short. Do you want to be the person that you are right now for the rest of your life?
You cannot call yourself an ally if you are contributing to the violence and hate towards the Asian community. And, for my Asian readers, you cannot expect people to stand for you if you do not stand for them. We have to support the Black Lives
Matter movement, today and everyday - they need us now more than ever. Donate. Support Blackowned businesses. Amplify their voices. Minority communities and those who consider themselves allies need to advocate for each other, because no one else will. We are stronger together. â–Ş
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PHOTOGRAPHY
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Tiarah Golladay-Murry
photographer unknown
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Frustration, anger, sadness - these emotions cannot begin to describe the feelings that were expressed during the Black Lives Matter protests in Chicago this past June. People of all shades standing side by side in solidarity were speaking out for the
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injustices from around the country. We need to, as a people, come together and speak out on the discrimination that people of color face on a daily basis. All I can say is that, enough is enough, and it’s time for a change to be made.
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D.H.L.S.M? Do High Leverage Situations Matter?
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Savannah Roberts
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PHOTOGRAPHY
Savannah Roberts is an artist born and raised in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois. She started drawing and painting from the time she was 3. These were her first true passions before photography. Her first camera was a digital point and shoot. She’d take photos and videos of her toys and family at the age of 6. She didn’t get more serious about photography until her photo class in high school when introduced to famous photographers like Cindy Sherman. Even then, her interest didn't fully kick off until college when she took a digital photography class at Parkland College. In college, she did a study on Francesca Woodman that really sparked this interest. These strong female photographers opened her eyes to different styles of portrait photography and how photos can convey different ideas about the world she lives in more than her paintings could. Though portrait photography is her first love, photographing the mundane and overlooked midwest small towns and urban and suburban housing has become a large portion of her work.
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I’m always looking for good lighting and angles. I want my subjects to be eye catching through the use of color. I want my work to be bold. Usually my shoots happen on the fly. When I do plan, I set up shoots with friends, pick out whatever outfits we think will work in a given location and then we pick the best, preferably sunny day and go crazy.” 30
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JAKE
BASSLER
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My name is Jake Bassler, otherwise known as @bakedjassler. I’m a senior at the UIUC studying environmental studies, but my passion is photography and cinematography. I’ve directed over 35 videos for rappers and musicians from around the world, and I’m one of the current creative directors of Opaque UIUC.
These are apart of an @opaque_uiuc shoot this last October. The theme was Western/Ranch. The photos were taken during a colorful sunset, but I chose to make the main images black and white while adding color back in through smaller collages.
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These two photographs are a part of shoot I did with Chicago/Milwaukee Rapper, Myquale (@madmyquale). He approached me with the idea of doing a shoot and collage for his upcoming single. The lighting and coloring was inspired by Anton Reva (@savemymind).
I wanted the heavy vignettes to give it that 3D, pop of screen look.�
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Portraits in Monochrome Milan Rajababoo
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Model: Tyler Roberson I was heavily inspired by photographers like Gunner “Stahl and Mick Rock, whose works in portraiture continue to influence my own. These photographs were shot on Ilford HP5 Plus 35mm film.
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PHOTOGRAPHY
Linds
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say Brooke Lathrop
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PHOTOGRAPHY
Two contrasting realities, shown in the eyes of optimism.
Concealed beauty is synchronous to the unity we've endured in a time of such divide. Encapsulating a theme that is both subversive and ethereal.
It rings true to my early, most authentic creative vision; Find good: a lesson, inspiration, strength, knowledge, growth, among bad. She, who seeks light admidst darkness, vs those who choose to remain in it.
I hope to be an artist that redefines what it means to be creating work today. Not only for the industry, but for myself too.
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Acknowledge with great appreciation:
Alexandra Tamayo, Annie Gelfer, Dan Cleary, Fatima Labaran, Jackson O'Donnell, Jack Rhode, Marina Boctor, Miciah Wilkerson, Quinn Turpin, Shira Fishman, Tiarah Gollday-Murry, Tyler, Roberson & Zhara Trott *All participants, models, or attendees, recognize that participation/involvement in any Impulse Magazine shoot or event is voluntary. They acknowledge and assume all risks and dangers associated with their participation. The health or our models, team, and community is not undermined and precautionary measures were taken.
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ART
Brendan O’Shaughnessy This sculptural garment explores the concept of new creation in posthuman landscapes following the geologic epoch marked by Earth’s lamentation. This work also examines the exotic and flamboyant and how that relates to the unrestrained richness, and often fantastical evolutionary history of life on Earth.
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Untitled Secondhand Yarn, Secondhand Fabric, Fiberfill, Paper & Fabric Mache, Paint, Mixed Media 2020
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ART
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Cling 44x44 inches Fabric collage 2020
Natalie Bready This piece comes from the experience of physical separation during the current pandemic. New boundaries installed by the virus have presented most of us a challenge to connect with others as closely as before, and now little scraps of the old familiar feel like treasures. As the distance from loved ones can feel like a distance from comfort, the wrap of a blanket can feel like a hug. 61
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ART
Kaitlin Mikrut 64
Blood 30x40 inches Oil paint 2020
Throughout my years at UIUC, I’ve created works of art that touch on the Black Lives Matter movement, gender, mental health, and trauma. Each of these topics greatly move me, and are topics that need to continuously be addressed in society. Creating art revolving around such topics allows for there to be conversation, education, and awareness.
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ART
I Am America 36x48 inches Oil paint 2020
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Red Lips 24x36 inches Oil paint 2018
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Sorrow 30x40 inches Oil paint 2020
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ART
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No Camera Man 72 x 48 in. Oil paint 2020
Nikki Kelsay The focal point for my full body of work surrounds the scrutiny of minoritized human experiences. Through a visual exploration of marginalized identities, I have narrowed my current practice around the queer, female-presenting body and its relationship with an outside audience. Through mostly oil paintings and drawings, my work challenges the fetishization of queer women and women-loving woman (wlw) relationships that has been seeped into our patriarchal society. Much of my perception of my own androgynous, lesbian identity has been influenced by my Catholic upbringing in the Chicago suburbs. This has catapulted me into an investigation of the presentday relationships and tensions between Christianity and sexuality, and the origins of these intersections. I observe how religion influences social norms, including the male gaze and how misogyny is perpetrated through certain Christian ideals. In turn, I meditate on these systemic, male-dominated power structures and how women and people within the LGBTQIA+ community can push against their oppressive agendas. The series I am currently working on, titled The Burning Confessional, has allowed me to reexamine my personal relationships as a queer woman while destigmatizing the
naked, female-presenting body as a vehicle for the hypersexual male gaze. Each painting is approximately 50 x 75 in. This size is convenient personally, as I genuinely enjoy working large-scale, but it also purposefully envelopes the audience into these scenes of empowered queer women. This is an important element of this body of work, seeing that the size is a direct response to my coming-of-age that was influenced by a society that thrives off of LGBTQIA+ people hiding in the shadows. The setting of my childhood led me to believe that my existence made people uncomfortable, so I invite them to work through that uneasiness in front of my canvases. The background of each piece in the series is primal and remote, giving each subject a sense of solitude that is inspired by a personal desire to remove myself from and critique many negative societal impacts on my mental health, including digital and physical spaces where I have felt judgement for my sexual identity. This intentional background choice also allows the audience viewing the piece to be conscious of their relationship alone with the figures. In my piece To Attract the Sublime, the subjects blatantly disregard the audience, therefore rejecting the need for the male gaze and 71
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dismantling its power. Similarly, each figure in the series is positioned to challenge the audience’s reason for being there. I am beginning to incorporate an infatuation of grotesque, macabre, and post-apocalyptic themes into this body of work, as well. Since a young age, I have obsessed over horror films and artists who unveil a darker and more disturbing world, such as Hieronymus Bosch, Odd Nerdrum, Francisco Goya, and Zdzisław Beksiński. I look forward to deepening my connection with these themes as I continue to pinpoint their place in my conceptual thinking. Formally, I am finding my place in contemporary art through my painting and drawing style, which has developed more marks in its hand and bolder color choices within the figure. Recently, I have also begun to incorporate installation into my practice and I am interested in exploring how art and material can be used to create a more interactive experience for the audience. My installation work, Fear Factor, allowed me to investigate my paintings in relationship to their surroundings. I am continuing to create installation pieces and experimenting with the interconnection between my paintings, drawings, and the spaces they inhabit. In doing so, I aim to further evolve my practice and create new conversations around my work. ▪
To Attract the Sublime 48 x 60 in. Oil paint 2019
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FASHION
VULNERABILITY IS THE NEW BLACK Written by Caitlyn Petrousek
1 in 4 people in the world are affected by mental
health disorders. I didn’t know until last year I would be part of this statistic. My mental health has never been a concern for me, until this year. As if 2020 was not hard enough, I was blessed with my Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnosis. It happened so naturally while in a conversation with a close friend. I had opened up about this irrational fear I had that the tires on my car would fly off and I would end up in oncoming traffic injuring myself and others. Seriously though, my car is in incredible shape. Similar unwanted thoughts would follow, but the worst part was when I would wake up every day and my brain would tell me I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to be at an amazing college (Go Redbirds!), I don’t deserve to have supportive friends and an understanding boyfriend. I was my own worst enemy. It took about a week for me to budge and get an appointment with my school therapist. It took an immense amount of strength to be so vulnerable and open up to a complete stranger-but I did it! I got diagnosed and put on medicine that very first day. There are plenty of options as far as treatment goes. For me, medicine was the best option to help the chemical imbalance my body was facing.
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Each day comes with its own challenges and some days are harder than others. I remember to be patient, be vulnerable with my loved ones, and talk to myself like I would a best friend because that’s who I needed to be to myself. I needed to have a new outlet that I could turn to when I felt those thoughts getting dark. I chose fashion. Fast forward 9 months, I survived! I did it! I began looking up people on Instagram and screenshotting literally every outfit or piece of clothing I loved. I would put pieces together and buy new prints I wanted to try out and post my own pictures. Let me tell you, I have been feeling myself! There are so many different ways to style clothes and different body types and shades of the color purple. I will always have fashion by my side. Fashion motivates me to bring out my best side and strut my stuff like the world could end tomorrow. If there is one thing I want to leave you with, it’s a sense of comfort. Even on the darkest of days, you are not alone. Now put on your best denim jacket and be the best you, for you. ▪
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FASHION
KEEP GOING Written by Dejah Sartin
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ho knew that a global pandemic could bring on new opportunities. During quarantine, I was scouted by countless agencies domestically and internationally which ended up with me finally being signed to one of the top fashion modeling agencies in the world, Select Model Chicago, formerly known as MP Management. Due to COVID-19, agencies would not allow potential models to go into the office for open calls as they transitioned to scout online. From Zooming with agents in Sweden and London to managing my own shoots, I had to start navigating through a process that was a blessing and nontraditional at the same time. I often imagined what it would be like if I wasn’t stuck at home and traveling to so many new and beautiful places. Modeling allows one to explore new horizons and meet so many people, which I was missing out on. Yet, that did not stop me. I kept up my portfolio by shooting digitals and keeping the looks simple to show off my natural beauty. Deep inside I knew that with my perseverance, something good would come out of it. Using Instagram, I was able to use hashtags for specific agencies so that just maybe, by chance, someone could see the work I have been putting in and would be willing to work with me. I wasn’t looking to get signed, but to get noticed, and eventually, that day came. By using the hashtag SELECT on a simple photo, I got scouted by my
amazing agent Jessie Sardina. My first encounter with SELECT was a brutal open call where they said no to about 20 of us at once. Hearing constant “No”s, “Come again in six months”, “we already have a girl that looks like you”, or “try again later”, time after time never stopped me. Modeling has become one of my passions and drives me to be better and push myself. It wasn’t until my senior year of high school that a fire ignited inside of me. However, I waited until I became more interested in it to start pursuing modeling as a second career. I am not someone who is defined by modeling. I am strong, intelligent, and have a calling to help others. Currently, I am graduating with a Bachelor’s in biology with a minor in women’s and gender studies striving towards my true passion which is to become a Doctor of Nursing Practice. I want to open my own clinics in countries that do not have resources and specialize in fetal development as well as women’s health. Both of these career paths take dedication and I won’t let anything stop me. Whether it be helping others or modeling for highend brands, through my aspirations, I have found that if you truly want anything in life, you will make it happen no matter what. So always go after what you want in life no matter how many nos are thrown your way and no matter what, keep going. ▪
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BEAUTY
Editor's Picks Our go-to staples in beauty and clothing. Ally Supergoop! Sunscreen: I haven't been wearing makeup recently, so the best beauty item for me this year is sunscreen. It makes your skin look smooth and poreless. Denim jeans: My favorite clothing item is denim because of how versatile it can be. The perfect pair of jeans can make you feel like a bad bitch.
Emma Milan Liquid Neutrogena Fragrance-Free Gentle Facial Cleanser: I like that it doesn’t smell like garbage and it works great with oily skin. And it’s not expensive either! Long sleeve polo shirts: The most versatile items in my closet; I can dress them up or down and they pretty much go with everything I own. I like to pair them with cargos or dress pants, with some white sneakers. 78
Knit loungewear set: At some points of 2020, I fell into the trap of getting used to being in big t-shirts and sweats for long periods of time, and neglected to take care of myself. I purchased a knit loungewear set to make myself feel more presentable and comfy at the same time. Aesop Marrakech Intense Eau de Toilette: A unisex fragrance is a staple in my collection. Being a perfume collector, I cherish very particular and unique scents that bring me back to good memory and make me feel something.
Cather
Wild Fable For 2020, grail. I real a sturdy hi sneakers. C buy them i Greenzla’s Face Pads:
Dejah
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Tie cropped satin top: Loving fashion and shopping, I don’t always like spending my hard earned money on clothes, but when I do, I make sure they last. Throwing on this type of crop top with any bottoms instantly steps up the whole look. Whether you want to dress it up or down, this top is versatile.
High-Rise Vintage Jogger Sweatpants: leggings and sweatpants were a holy lly enjoy the jogger style and they have igh waistband.pants, with some white Catch me running back to Target to in every color they have. Reusable Organic Bamboo Cotton As an advocate to be more sustainable, I have made more mindful purchases this year such as these reusable face pads. They're soft on the skin, great for removing and applying whatever you're using, and wash easily.
La Roch-Posay Skincare: Skincare has always been essential to me since high school. This hydrating combo of face moisturizer and vitamin C are my goto pair. After washing and applying serums, this leaves my face feeling light and super hydrated for the day!
Lindsay Winter coat: A great coat works like magic, instantly transforming an otherwise monotonous warm-weather look into the ideal winter outfit. 100% Organic Cold-Pressed Rose Hip Seed Oil: Made from the fruit of rose plants, rosehip oil contains both vitamins C and vitamin, keeping your skin youthful and glowing.
Tiarah Jade roller: Easy as grabbing your favorite serum or moisturizer and massaging it in with your jade roller. Jade rollers are amazing for rejuvenating the face and giving you the glow. Just make sure you place it in a refrigerator before use and you can give your face an instant lift after using it for 5-10 minutes. Black mesh long sleeve: If you want to up your fashion by adding one item of clothing, grab a black mesh long sleeve. Immediately your look will transform from something soft to edgy - quick and easy.
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Copyright Š 2021 by Impulse Magazine All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Editor-in-Chief and Creative Director except for the use of brief quotations in a review. Champaign, IL 80
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