InChelsea Magazine : Issue 53

ISSUE 53

£1.50

SUMMER ARRIVES IN THE CITY!

CONTENTS

INCHELSEA MAGAZINE www.inchelsea.com 41 EDITH GROVE CHELSEA LONDON SW10 OLB TEL 0207 751 4463/ 07960 829615 PUBLISHER Red Cube Media Group (UK) EDITOR Duncan Williams Email duncan@inChelsea.com

FEATURE WRITERS William Briggs Mick Guidera L. Ron Hubbard Harry Langley Natalie McEwan Duncan Williams Frank Worrall

RESEARCHER Jennifer Anne Sutcliffe DESIGN Charlotte Brian (Encore Public Relations)

COVER Old Town Hall, Chelsea

PHOTOGRAPHY J. Hugo Guppy Zara Hoffman Dino Fleiss Will Wightman

ILLUSTRATOR Jim ‘The Snake’ Addler

EDITORIAL BOARD William Briggs Lord Patrick Douglas Hamilton Dr. Leonard James Annabel Knatchford A.A. Pescud Catty Lowsley-Williams Alexander Williams

ADVERTISING SALES sales@inchelsea.com Victoria Barker Sarah Brookes Marcus Fielding Hector Gonzalez Annabel Knatchford Sandra Szczepanska

SENIOR BUSINESS ADVISOR Antonio De Simone

DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Timothy Barnet

INCHELSEA MAGAZINE ISSUE 52

CHELSEA

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London’s favourite place to live and work

A Message From The Editor The government still hasn’t started taxing it yet, so enjoy it while you can.

Sunshine and fresh air herald the beginning of another season, which always seems to make our neighbourhood take on its own special sort of London glossiness. Almost as if Chelsea goes technicolour for a limited public run. An English summer’s day (a frequently rare sight) still contains an instant makeover tonic that doesn’t cost a thing.

So, whether you’re enjoying a leisurely walk along the Thames, dining alfresco at one of our many excellent restaurants, or maybe even a bright day out at our celebrated annual flower show... whatever you do, seize your day and enjoy it to the full!

As a grumpy local news vendor once said to me; “You’re a long time dead, so you might as well make the best of it now. Make mine a double!” ...

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A REVIEW OF JUJU

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DOES THE WORLD OWE ANYONE A LIVING

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PLANNING A WEDDING ON SHORT NOTICE

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PIRATE RADIO A HISTORY OF BUCCANeer BROADCASTING

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GROWING LILIES IN POTS AND TUBS

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BLOOMIN’ MARVELLOUS! THE HISTORY OF OUR ANNUAL FLOWER SHOW

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STAND LIKE A TREE

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RECESSION BLUES A REPORT BY WILLIAM BRIGGS

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SPORTING PAGE WITH FRANK WORRALL

However you choose to chill out, if you do get a moment to glance through the pages of this magazine, thank you.

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I hope you find one or two interesting features or snippets that will help make this a pleasant and relaxing day for you.

Enjoy it!

Yours sincerely,

Duncan Williams Editor

ISSN 1756-9656 InChelsea Magazine is Published by Red Cube Media Group (UK). No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the proir permission of the publisher. While every care has been taken to ensure the accuracy of editorial content, no responsibility can be taken for any errors and/ or omissions. The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of Red Cube Media Group (UK). All rights reserved. The views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of Red Cube Media Group (UK). All rights reserved.

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Smouldering, funky house music which got sexier by the beat soon helped us to unwind, relax and enjoy one of the many classic cocktails on the impressive drinks menu.

Lesley Ash and Lee Chapman’s latest venture is a slick and stylish new bar situated at 316-318 King’s Road Chelsea. Juju, with its seductive chocolate and gold leather furnishings, is a long awaited and welcoming new place to be seen. Upon arrival we were greeted by the helpful and bubbly Celeste who showed us to our table in the aptly named “King Area”.

The comfortable long leather sofa which stretches along the left hand side of the bar was just the ticket after a long stroll down the king’s road.

If you are someone feeling lonely then Juju is the place to be; there is a strong sense of community given by the shared seating, and we were happy to make new friends. Smouldering, funky house music which got sexier by the beat soon helped us to unwind, relax and enjoy one of the many classic cocktails on the impressive drinks menu.

Unlike the music I went for the “Passionless Mojito”. It was alcohol free, and tantalised and teased every taste bud in my mouth the alcoholic option is just as pleasurable. For those who are into dancing on the ceiling, the Chelsea Ice Tea was a zesty and delectable enterprise and the Passionate Affair was tantalising, with a sumptuous undertone.

Champagne is sold by the bottle. The bar menu takes some beating, I highly recommend the dim sum selection with its array of mouth-watering authentic pan asian bar snacks with accompanying sauces. These snacks were served in a tapas form, giving an informal feeling to eating, allowing any eater to chat, flirt, or maybe just reflect on the regal surroundings. The ambience of the bar is a friendly and sociable oasis of cool. Although there wasn’t a princesses area there were more than enough contenders for one of the thrones opposite in the queen area.

The bar is licensed till 1am which gives you plenty of time to check out the shakers and movers area situated in front of the very discreet DJ box.

Here you can cut a rug all night long and get yourself warmed up for an even bigger night out. You might even want to roll over the road to the well known night club Raffles.

What better place to enjoy a nice glass of bubbly than in the exclusive VIP area which is at the back of the club along side the royal area. Here customers can enjoy an intimate room with the luxury of their own waiting staff. This can be hired for up to 30 guests. Corporate parties are also catered for and the basement has a very intimate private room with a large screen ideal for sporting events.

Martin Brudnizki’s interior design has worked wonders to make Juju without doubt one of the hippest and funkiest bars to open on the kings road for a very long time. Lesley Ash and Lee Chapman’s crown continues to sparkle with this latest jewel. A right royal rocker majestically thriving in the midst of our sprawling metropolis.

JuJu is open Monday – Sunday from 5pm to 1am JuJu 316 – 318 Kings Road, Chelsea, SW3 5UH. London T: 020 7351 5998 www.jujulondon.com

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The biggest problem with dentures (false teeth) is that they do not feel comfortable. Some people love their new dentures immediately while others are never happy with the fit and always seem to suffer.Dissatisfied patients return to their dentists for frequent adjustments. They try different adhesives or simply start over. No matter what they do, their dentures never feel comfortable.

So a denture manufacturer conducted a study to find out why dentures easily fit the mouths of some patients, but were a constant problem with others.As part of the study, they considered the types of material used in the dentures and the methods for shaping the dentures. They checked the dentists’ training and techniques. Yet they could not find a common reason why certain patients hated their dentures. But then they checked one other factor. Most of the patients who complained that their dentures did not fit had not paid for them! If the patient or their insurance company had paid for the dentures, they seemed to fit better. If the dentures were not paid for, they did not fit as well.

2. Ensure you give an honest exchange for all the goods and services you receive. Like people with dentures, you will be happier with what you receive if you give a fair exchange.

Why would that matter?

"Children who are permitted to contribute (not as a cute thing to do but actually) make noncontributing children of the same age look like raving maniacs!" - L. Ron Hubbard

Permitting Dishonesty “When you let somebody be dishonest, you are setting him up to become physically ill and unhappy.”

“When you let a person give nothing for something, you are factually encouraging crime.” -- L. Ron Hubbard Lottery winners often lose all their money within a few years. They buy expensive cars and wreck them. They buy big houses and let them go to ruin. One man used his winnings to drink himself to death. These poor people didn’t earn the money. They got something for nothing so it meant nothing to them. Down deep, everyone wants to be honest. When they get something for nothing they tend to waste it because they did nothing to deserve it.

When you perform some valuable work for someone, you must let them give you something back in exchange. If you do not let them give you something in return, they become unhappy. They may even resent your help. You see this with governments. Some people accept money from the government to help them get back on their feet. They go to school, work hard and return the money they received by paying taxes. These people are healthy and happy. Other people accept money from the government, but never get back to work. They watch television all day and gain weight.

They are unhealthy and unhappy.

3. Whenever you are unhappy or unhealthy, check if you are failing to give an honest exchange for what you receive. Find ways to be as honest as possible and match the exchange. In fact, give the world a little more than you receive and watch what happens to your health and happiness!

A Tip for Success with Children "A lot of this exchange imbalance comes from child psychology where the child is not contributing anything and is not permitted to contribute.

"It is this which first overwhelms him with feelings of obligation to his parents and then bursts out as total revolt in his teens.

When you make children give an exchange they become much happier!

Children, as young as three, can contribute by picking up their toys, helping in the kitchen or singing a song for you. If children are not allowed to work until they are adults, they depend too heavily on their parents or the government for their money. They do not know how to earn a living.

Children want to work. It makes them feel valuable. Work makes them happy.

Smart parents let their children have real jobs. They patiently show their children how to work. For example, how to wash the windows so they are really clean, or how to walk the family dog every day, even when it is boring.The most successful people in this world worked at real jobs when they are young. For example, they took care of the neighbours' yards or pets when they were 8. Or they drove a tractor on their family farms when they are 12.

When they became 18, they already had years of work experience. They could work an eight-hour day and earn their pay. They were striding up the road to their ultimate success.

Recommendation

Three Recommendations

Teach children (and adults) that the world does not owe them a living.

They must find ways to exchange something valuable for the things they want. Help them enjoy the pride, health and happiness they get from earning an honest living.

1. When people complain about what you do for them, check if they have given you a proper exchange in return. If not, make it a requirement and they will stop complaining about you.

Provided by TipsForSuccess.org as a public service to introduce the technology of L. Ron Hubbard to you. Copyright © 2009 TipsForSuccess.org. All rights reserved. Grateful acknowledgment is made to L. Ron Hubbard Library for permission to reproduce selections from the copyrighted works of L. Ron Hubbard.

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A special report by Duncan Williams There are many reasons a couple can wind up planning a wedding on short notice. Some couples decide that they simply want to get married and who wants to wait a long time? Others may have changed their mind about wedding planning and this type of wedding may be their "Plan B." Or this could be a second marriage or a civil ceremony where the wedding planned is going to be a small occasion. Fortunately, no matter your reason: you can always have a beautiful wedding day you'll remember forever.

Get Organised. The most important thing to keep in mind to planning your wedding on short notice is to get (and stay) organised. Have everything about your wedding in one handy binder and know exactly where that binder is at all times. Keep all charges for the wedding on one credit card if at all possible. Save all of your receipts from the wedding.

Write everything down that pertains to the wedding. This will save you a lot of time and stress.

Be Flexible. When you are planning a wedding on short notice, you admittedly have to be a bit flexible about some details that other brides might be more stubborn about. Things like your location, types of flowers and the type of wedding dress you wear. Typical wedding dress alterations can take a minimum of six months. If your wedding is being planned in six weeks, you are definitely buying a dress off the rack and having it altered only once. The location for your wedding may not be exactly what you desire -- but it can certainly have many of the key elements that you want.

Make a list of the qualities that you want (for a dress, location, flowers, etc.) and think about what is the most important. This will help you really make up your mind when it comes to making a selection.

Stick to Your Budget. Some brides and grooms are very tempted to go off budget, and this is very much the case with a wedding planned on short notice. Some vendors may complain about the short notice and will press rush fees on you. Others may simply hint that you aren't the typical couple. Remember that these vendors are providing you with a service and that if someone presses you too hard for extra coin and you feel it is unfair, you always have the option to walk away. But be reasonable: if you are asking someone to create a custom-designed wedding cake with two weeks notice, it might not be inappropriate to ask for a rush fee.

Ask for Help. What is that old saying: two heads are better than one?

Well many more heads can often be better still when planning a wedding on short notice! Try to delegate some of your wedding planning to your family and friends. Don't overload your loved ones with lots to do, give them tasks that are clearly outlined and don't stress the small stuff: if your mother-in-law orders peach napkins instead of pale pink no one is really going to notice. Think of tasks that would suit the people you are giving them to. If your dad is an excellent negotiator, then putting him in charge of finding the reception hall could be a great choice. Or asking your mom to be in charge of the bridesmaids' logistics for the day of the wedding.

Remember to say "thank you" and -- even better -- get everyone a nice little gift from your honeymoon trip to express your gratitude.

Are you planning your dream wedding or do you know someone who is?

Visit Wedding Rings and Things.net for practical tips for the bride and groom, accessories, gift ideas and more for all your wedding needs.

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a history of buccaneering broadcasting

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The release of The Boat That Rocked has seen pirate radio become the most exciting thing since sliced bread once again. But while the comedy from British director Richard Curtis features all the fun and frivolity of the swinging sixties, pirate radio was essentially about the need for freedom, and that need is something which still exists today.

The Boat That Rocked somewhat glamorizes the life on board the fictional Radio Rock, with a steady flow of women and drink, but the film is loosely based around the most infamous of the pirate radio stations of the 1960’s, Radio Caroline. And while at that time pirate radio brought pop music to all the hip young things and teeny boppers out there, modern British pirate radio offers something quite different.

Pirate radio initially began off the coast of America, where navy ships used radio to signals and weather reports. But it wasn’t till many years later with the aid of better equipment that radio as we know it was transmitted. The first commercial pirate radio was known to be off the coast of Denmark, under the name Radio Mercur in 1958, and the term ‘pirate radio’ was coined by the Danish media. But it wasn’t until the sixties when pirate radio really kicked off in Britain, and despite its illegal nature, schedules and programming would be listed in papers and magazines.

These days mainstream radio offers so much choice and has much looser rules than the sixties, which means pirate radio stations now often offer that which is either too far outside the mainstream to be played on legal radio, or new artists, those that may not get an opportunity to be heard by such a large audience otherwise. Big cities tend to be home to most pirate radio stations, although now they’re much more likely to be in someone’s bedroom than onboard a ship, with many aimed at specific communities and working on a inter- personal level with listeners.

The freedom that pirate radio offered to young pop fans in the sixties is still important, but outside the UK it can be even more essential. Across the globe there is still oppression by governments and huge amounts of poverty. In these areas sometimes pirate radio may be the only voice of freedom and truth out there in a heavily government regulated media.

Last year’s Olympic Games in Beijing proved just how tight China’s laws on free speech, the media, and censorship were with continuous protesting during the games, after the Chinese government denied access to much of the international press, and even imprisoned some journalists.

Twelve hours before the games began, members of ‘Reporters without Borders’ broadcast a 20-minute programmed on FM radio secretly from within Beijing itself. The programme spoke both directly to the

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government, telling them that no matter what people would find a way to have their voices heard, and featured interviews with human rights activists.

Hong Kong High Court also ruled last year that pirate station ‘Citizen’s Radio’ did not present a risk a public safety after the local government tried to take it off air in a long ongoing battle.

In fact China is not the only place to defy government censorship and restrictions. Radio Sagarmatha, a pirate station in Nepal was told all news bulletins and political shows must be replaced with music. In a country such as Nepal, which is largely rural and its population can earn as little as £1 a day, radio is still there main link to the outside world, with items like televisions being an unaffordable luxury. Sagarmatha chief Mohan Bista defied orders banning news bulletins and simply broadcast them under a different name. Authorities didn’t take long to find out what was going on and threatened to shut down the station completely. But no matter what Bista and the station would not remain quiet and broadcast the news in a comedy format. In a country where almost all forms of media rely upon government funding, a voice like Sagarmatha provides an important outlet for the community.

Under the dictatorship of Mugabe, Zimbabwe has long been served by ‘Radio Africa’ a station partly transmitted from London. Zimbabwean government had consistently jammed the transmissions, claimed that Radio Africa was allowing foreigners to invade their airwaves. The station had been providing alternative information about developments within the country, often covered up by the government and a great deal of propaganda. However counter reports have claimed that Radio Africa works under its own form of propaganda and has encouraged violence and hatred, in a country already massively affected by impoverishment and conflict. The station was started by Gerry Jackson, a former DJ from a state run station in Zimbabwe, who was fired after allowing callers on air who were critical of the way the government runs the country. She set up an independent station in the capital, Harare, which was shut down after only 6 days on air, at gunpoint by officials. Jackson decided the only way to safely run a station with an independent voice was if it wasn’t based within the country, hence the move to the U.K. The station has been somewhat cagey about how it is run and funded, claiming that it receives money from human rights and media freedom groups. While some claims say that receives millions of dollars yearly from the U.S International Development Agency. Zimbabwean government officials have said that they believe the station is being partly run by the BBC, and giving them the means to broadcast with use of studios, but the British Government and BBC have denied any involvement.

Of course the expansion of the internet in the past ten years has made online pirate radio a much more common thing. With the World Wide Web now being available to many more people, particularly from different backgrounds, it has allowed for a much wider range of conversations and opinions. While it also provides a cheaper and legal way to broadcast, as no actual signal is transmitted. Of course the internet is still subject to censorship from government authorities and such has been the case in oppressed countries like China, where the government keeps a tight rein on user access.

Pirate radio is no doubt a dangerous business many nations around the world, but it offers a voice, sometimes the only one out there to a great number of people, and allows expression where there is none. With the death of independent media in many of these countries, pirate radio provides a mouth piece for communities where tyranny rules.

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Growing lilies from bulbs in pots and tubs can be so rewarding. The many wonderful, colourful, striking lilies to be bought these days are ideal for the patio, porch, conservatory or the house. I like to use them as last minute fillers in border gaps to add a splash of colour. If you grow a series of bulbs in pots, planted at different times, you have a continual supply of colourful plants ready to fill any gap.

Generally, the larger the container the better the bulbs perform as moisture and temperature will not fluctuate so erratically. When buying, remember that bigger bulbs give better flowering. Pots of 20cm will take single bulbs: use 25cm pots for 3 bulbs whilst tubs can take a dozen or more. Drainage holes are imperative as both roots and bulbs will rot without adequate drainage. Use good propriety compost such as John Innes No2 or a compost of 2/3 fibrous loam and 1/3 well drained decayed leaf mould, with plenty of coarse sand or grit added. Peat based composts will also be improved by adding grit or sand to keep them open in texture.

Put compost in the bottom of the pot, add the bulb or bulbs tucking any roots into the compost. Add more compost to cover the bulbs by 8-10cm, stopping 1cm below the pot top for watering. Then keep the pots in a conservatory, greenhouse, or outside, free standing or in a plunge bed.

Initially keep the compost needs damp to encourage rooting. As the lilies get into more rapid growth and the weather becomes warmer, the pots will need to be watched more closely because they are going to dry out much more quickly. Watering should not be done in too carefree a manner; lilies do not appreciate their leaves being wet and dirty, which might cause physical and fungal damage.

Energetic bulbs can soon be looking for extra feed. This is best done as the bulbs begin to colour. If the pots themselves can be shaded this will help to keep the bulbs cooler. Pots outside will have their rate of transpiration accelerated and will dry out quickly. Lilies are remarkably resilient to drought but they are not cacti and should not be allowed to dry out completely; nor do they be need to be sitting in a container without drainage when a rainy period is going to drown them.

After enjoying their wonderful blooms, the wilting flower tops may be cut away. Bulbs should still be watered and fed to build them up for next year. When the stems die in the autumn, the bulbs can be turned out and re-potted. Alternatively, leave them in the pots and just replace the topsoil.

Compost can be removed down to the level of the bulb - something that may be easier to manage in larger containers than in small pots thoroughly filled with roots. Pots should then be over wintered out of extreme frost and where they will not be sodden with rain.

As for pests, slugs are partial to Lilies, so protect your plants at all times. I have been particularly successful in using nematodes. These tiny microscopic worms can protect the bulbs and new shoots beneath the soil’s surface, where 95% of slugs can be found.

Aphids spread virus diseases, which dwarf and disfigure the plants.

Spray with aphid killer when it becomes necessary and destroy plants already affected by virus disease.

In the south of England, Scarlet Lily Beetle is a growing menace, appearing from May onwards. When you see the beetle pick it off the plant immediately. If you want to spray with Provado, only treat the lilies in pots or tubs as it is not licensed for open ground use. Take action as soon as you spot any of the conspicuous adult beetles (up to 6mm long) or their larvae (hump-backed, reddish-yellow and covered in black slime).

P. de Jager & Sons Limited has been selling top quality and top size bulbs for over 140 years. I cannot over-emphasise the importance of size.

Top size bulbs really do make a huge difference both in terms of flowering and naturalisation. Smaller size bulbs will be less expensive but the results will be very noticeably inferior.

To see more of the new summer collection visit www.dejager.co.uk

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A report by Duncan Williams

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The first Royal Horticultural Society Great Spring Show was held in 1862, at the RHS garden in Kensington. Before this date the RHS had held flower shows from 1833 in their garden in Chiswick, which themselves had been preceded by fetes. The Kensington Garden was chosen as a site because the flower shows in Chiswick were experiencing falling visitor numbers due to problems such as poor transport links.

The Great Spring Show was held at Kensington for twenty-six years but in 1888 the RHS decided to move the show to the heart of London. The site chosen was the Temple Gardens, situated between the Embankment and Fleet Street, which had a recorded history dating back to 1307 and which were said to date from the time of the Knights Templar.

The roses for which these Temple Gardens were famous were alluded to in Shakespeare's Henry VI Part 1. Using two marquees requisitioned from the old Kensington shows the 1888 show was a success with exhibits from both amateurs and commercial firms. By 1897 five marquees were being used with many of the best known plant and seed merchants being attracted to the event including Suttons and Sons.

The Chelsea Flower Show today The Chelsea Flower Show receives a lot of publicity. It is attended by 157,000 visitors each year (a number limited by the capacity of the 11acre (45,000 m2) ground), and all tickets must be purchased in advance.

From 2005 the show was increased from four days to five, with the first two days only open to RHS members. The show is extensively covered on television by the BBC. An official DVD of the show is produced on behalf of the RHS by Twofour. Several members of the British Royal Family attend a preview of the show, as part of the royal patronage of the RHS. The area of land devoted to show gardens increased steadily between 1970 and 2000 and the show has become an important venue for watching trends. New plants are often launched at the show and the popularity of older varieties revived under the focus of the horticultural world. It is the garden design equivalent of a catwalk at a fashion show.

Awards There are four grades of award presented, gold, silver-gilt, silver and bronze, in each of all of the main prize categories.

Royal International Horticultural Exhibition In 1912, the Temple Show was cancelled to make way for the Royal International Horticultural Exhibition. Sir Harry Veitch, the great nurseryman, secured the grounds of the Royal Hospital, Chelsea, for this one-off event. It proved such a good site for an exhibition that the Great Spring Show was moved there in 1913, where it has taken place almost every year since.

Royal Hospital, Chelsea Despite the First World War, the show was held 1914 – 1916, but was cancelled in 1917 and 1918. By the roaring 1920s, the Chelsea Flower Show was back in full swing, the famous Chelsea tea parties were established and Royal visits resumed. In 1926 the show was held a week late due to the General Strike. In 1937, King George VI and Queen Elizabeth celebrated their Coronation Year, and to mark the occasion, a superb Empire Exhibition was staged. It featured wattles from Australia, pines from Canada, brilliant gladioli from East Africa and even a big prickly pear from Palestine.

The show was again cancelled during the Second World War, as the land was required by the War Office for an anti-aircraft site. Some doubt arose as to whether the show would resume in 1947. The majority of exhibitors wanted a postponement, as stocks of plants were low, staff much depleted and fuel for greenhouses was obtainable only with special permits, but Lord Aberconway (then RHS President) and the RHS Council felt strongly that the show should resume as soon as possible. As it turned out, the show went ahead in 1947 and it was a great success.

The Coronation of Queen Elizabeth II in 1953 was sufficient cause for a flower show that reflected the celebratory mood of the country. Most members of the Royal family attended that year. Unfortunately, due to a relentless stream of other commitments, the only Royal unable to attend was the Queen herself!

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A special feature for InChelsea Magazine by Harry Langley

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We Brits are the worlds best at standing in queues. Check-out desks, check-in desks, the Post Office, bus stops – wherever. Doubtless, crowded city living contributes a degree of necessity as well, but we do seem to do it a lot and even enjoy it, in a resigned sort of way. Maybe we see it as a welcome change from our normally sedentary way of life, as we sit in schools, offices, cars, in front of the computer and TV, etc. But it is not long before most of us are feeling a bit stiff and tired and longing for a nice soft seat again.

Take heart – help is at hand. An ancient practise, dating from time immemorial, can make standing not only tolerable, but also beneficial and enjoyable. Interested? Then read on!

Zhan Zhuang (pronounced Shan Shung) is the art of standing. Its existence was first recorded in the classical Chinese text, The Yellow Emperor, around 500 BC - yellow being the colour symbolic of health.

Hence the Chinese name. But most cultures have been doing some version of it, including Christendom.

We all used to stand in church at least once a week and services were lengthy. It was only after the Industrial reorganisation, with the arrival of factories and workshops, that pews were introduced, because most

“We Brits are the worlds best at standing in queues. Check-out desks, check-in desks, the Post Office, bus stop”

people were too tired to stand up for long. So, in the absence of pews and in view of the lengthy services, most people, perforce, developed some version of Standing like a Tree. It was how our forebears got strong.

To start, one pictures a silken cord coming from above and connecting, through the top of the head, to the centre of the pelvis. One imagines that this cord suspends the weight of the torso and allows the legs to relax under the hips, feet pointing slightly outwards. One can then stand easy and allow the upper body to relax downwards – neck, shoulders, chest, tummy and through to the legs, unlocking the knees and ankles, to the feet. The feet now feel securely anchored, or planted, and the mental instruction is,” Let standing happen”. And lo and behold, standing happens!

The trick is not to go rigid, but to stay relaxed, and allow the body to make little adjustments, like a young tree in a breeze. Slight swayings and twistings are OK, with the arms hanging loosely. The main thing is to leave the feet where they feel good and not to shuffle around.

Since we are not in the habit of standing, our body is unused to it. We feel awkward at first and one minute seems like an eternity. However, persevere and fairly soon you will wonder what all the fuss was about (it makes it easier if you breathes deep into the tummy). We are now using gravity rather than fighting it.

The pay-off is huge. We make a virtue out of necessity, which always feels nice, and we immensely benefit our health. This comes about because, by relaxing in an erect posture, all the internal organs like the heart, the lungs, etc, can relax and hang easy. They can then function optimally, both within themselves and in relation to one another. So all our energies are freed up and made available to us – we become complete.

Maybe this is why Zhan Zhuang is referred to as “The Foundation of Health”. Enjoy!

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A REPORT BY WILLIAM BRIGGS

Psychologists and therapists say that recessions encourage all kinds of mental and emotional problems (unless of course you are a psychologist or a therapist, in which case this year might be a good time to expand your business premises and find an agent to negotiate those all important mid-morning television appearances). Booms and busts produce different mental problems, "high-class" or "low-class" problems in the parlance of the therapist's couch. Scapegoating is fast replacing status anxiety as the chic, early 21st century psychological ailment of choice.

This is not in any way surprising. There is no more natural human reaction; not so much “Where Have All the Good Times Gone?” as “Where Have All the Good Times Gone and Who Can I Blame for Getting Rid of Them?”

The correct answers to such questions can take generations to come out and consulting experts tends to make the picture more confusing.

Economic historians are divided roughly into those who think that recessions are cyclically inevitable and those who agree but think something positive can be done about it. Many are still arguing over how the 1929 Wall Street Crash turned into the decade-long Great Depression, and whether there was any direct link between the two.

One day a consensus will be reached. But without eighty years to spare, and with the recession beginning to affect everyone, such objectivity and deliberation isn’t possible. A scan through the recent news reveals a growing list of those to blame, or more accurately those who with varying degrees of validity are being blamed, for the current mess.

In late 2007, a more innocent time when scary sounding worldwide recession went under the fairly innocuous name of “the credit crunch”, problems anywhere in the world economy were generally ascribed to the subprime mortgage crisis in the U.S. Blame then passed to the subprime borrowers themselves; the archetypal owner-occupier with little or no income somewhere in Mississippi or Kentucky.

Blame then went back to the banks who extended them a 100 percent mortgage in the first place before stepping back a political generation to the Clinton Administration. Though it was largely unnoticed when it became law in 1999, Clinton’s Community Reinvestment Act or "Financial Services Modernization Act" soon became the focus of much criticism in the money supplements when the consequences of mortgage lending specifically targeted at those unable to afford it became clear. Fox News in particular seemed to relish the opportunity to give Slick Willy a good going over for the first time in nearly a decade.

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As it became apparent that a large scale crisis was coming, other old scores were settled under the guise of apportioning blame fairly. Margaret Thatcher (left office November 1990), Ronald Reagan (left office January 1989) and perhaps more plausibly Tony Blair (left office June 2007) all took a hit on the op-ed pages for “letting the market run wild” when they were in power. In the U.S. newspapers, the Baby Boomer Generation were attacked for their part in the current crisis. According to those for whom the Sixties didn’t swing, the Woodstock generation were to blame for overpopulating the country, blocking work promotions and living beyond their means for too long.

Those with greater expertise blamed financial tools which few outside of Wall Street and the Square Mile had heard of until eighteen months ago.

CDOs (Collateralized debt obligations), hedge funds (no more than 100 investors able to profit, for a time, from betting for and against the same thing) and short selling (the clever trick of selling a financial instrument that you don’t own at the time of sale and still profiting) all received a degree of stick.

“we seem to be at the stage of blaming individuals and luckily for the cause of scapegoating a few classic cartoon villains have emerged” This lead to blame mixed with schadenfreude for a brief period at the end of last year, when it appeared that the financial crisis would be a purely local phenomenon, affecting only the jobs of millionaire bankers who had been subject to the besetting sin of “greed”. This was nice while it lasted, but apart from being mildly hypocritical (hands up anyone reading this who hasn’t suffered from at least a touch of greed from time to time) only lasted as long as it took for non-millionaires to start losing their jobs.

When both Woolies and Lehman Brothers went under in the space of a few months, it became obvious that all parts of the social scale would be affected.

At present, we seem to be at the stage of blaming individuals and luckily for the cause of scapegoating a few classic cartoon villains have emerged.

Whatever one's opinion of Gordon Brown, it is undeniable that he once promised an “end to boom and bust” and is going to grow sick of being reminded of it between now and the General Election next year. Bernard Madoff, at the time of writing facing a maximum sentence of 150 years in prison and a fine of $170 billion, could have come from central casting as a bad guy for our times and Sir Fred Goodwin has stimulated an unusual and heated interest in the retirement arrangement of bank executives.

But who is truly to blame? InChelsea does not like to say. We would only like to highlight the factor which all failing businesses in 2008/9 so far have had in common - they failed to advertise in local magazines.

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SO now we know for certain: where this column leads, others follow!

Last month I advocated a change of direction at Chelsea, a situation in which Roman Abramovich would fall gracefully back into the shadows and allow his next manager to do just that...manage.

I said it was the only way forward if Chelsea were to avoid becoming a ship of uncertainty, heading for rocky waters, as manager after manager was tossed overboard for falling foul of the dictatorial admiral's rules. Now I see former Blues boss Jose Mourinho has taken up my baton.

In Portugal last month, Jose was quizzed about Chelsea and said: 'It is a club with a big economic dimension but with a lack of structure. The structure of a club should be moulded to the philosophy of their coach, his needs and way of thinking.' I'm surprised he didn't add...as InChelsea has just argued!

So, if you're reading now, Jose, please take notes - we're going to talk about heroes and villains.

But first, let me say well done to Guus Hiddink. Yes, the Dutch master has settled in well at the Bridge, overseeing an upturn in form and fortunes. Although it does concern me that every time he is asked if he will stay for good, he beats a hasty retreat. Chelsea FC must be getting an inferiority complex from his strong denials - why, on earth, would anyone in their right mind want to stay on as boss of the dull Russian national team when he could instead be living it up at the top of the Premiership with the Blues? Especially as he is known to be a friend of Admiral Abramovich?

I would like to see him show a little more ambition and a little more fire in his belly for the job that is going at the Bridge.

Otherwise, if he truly doesn't want the job full-time, let him drift off into the night: Chelsea FC need a man who is committed to the club right now, someone who would walk over hot coals to take the job (like say Frankie Zola). They do not need a man whose arm needs twisting.

And that brings us nicely to my Hero and Villain awards for the 2008-09 season. Hero? Could only really be between two men, couldn't it? Frankie Lampard and Big John Terry.

Lamps has played arguably the best football of his career this season at the Bridge, overcoming the tragic loss of his beloved mum and an early season flashing of eyelashes from Mourinho in Milan. But John Terry gets my vote: this man is a true captain marvel.

This is the guy you would want with you in the trenches, someone who, quite literally, sweats blood for Chelsea FC. To have come back with such a magnificent season after the penalty shootout nightmare he suffered (and still does) against Man United in last season's Champions League Final - well, that is some badge of honour.

JT has led by example for club and country. Of course, he was the real manager of Chelsea as they battled to the runners-up spots in the Champions League and the Premier League, not Avram Grant. It was Terry who inspired the men around him, Grant was just a figurehead.

JT has continued that level of leadership this term, urging his players

on in the face of disruptive moves by the board as yet another manager joined the exit carousel.

His late winner for England against Ukraine summed up for me the irreplaceable nature of the man born to be king for his country and Chelsea FC. Villain? For me, that has been a three-horse race - between the aforementioned Admiral (Abramovich) who has once again been unable to control his itchy trigger where managers are concerned, the lamentable Florent Malouda and the disgraceful Didier Drogba.

The admiral and Malouda narrowly avoid winning the coveted award, basically because they can't avoid being what they are - in the Admiral's case a control freak and in Malouda's a crap footballer, but Drogba should have done better this term.

Okay, I know he is many fans' hero and that when he is on the top of his game only Liverpool’s Fernando Torres can be termed his equal in the formidable centre forwards' stakes.

But as a person and a man who should be looked up to he has been a massive disappointment this season.

After letting Chelsea down in last year's Champions League final - when he was sent off, thus missing the vital penalty shootout - he should have come back with a mindset that he would knuckle down and do everything he could to repay the fans he owes so much too.

Instead, he spent the first part of the season moaning about Phil Scolari and not pulling his weight as he sulked from the sidelines.

He should have tried harder under Big Phil instead of bad mouthing the man, but Drogba just doesn't seem to get it, does he?

Chelsea FC are all about fighting to win, a common, unified cause for teamwork and team play, but for spoilt, sulky Didier, all that matters is Didier Drogba and his own petty little battles.Put it this way, and be dead honest - who would you rather have leading the line for Chelsea next season...Torres or Drogba? I rest my case.

P.S A bit of general football gossip to finish with – again concerning our old friend Jose Mourinho. Joes will not be the next manager of Man United, as much as he would like to be – the new boss at Old Trafford will be FABIO CAPELLO. Think about it…Capello will leave the England job in July 2010, a month after Alex Ferguson is expected to leave United. And Capello is already making his play for the Old Trafford number by cosying up with Wayne Rooney, saying he is England’s star man etc – a canny, clever move by the Italian given the influence Rooney holds with board boss David Gill at United.

Put your bets on Fab now – and remember where you heard it first...in INCHELSEA!

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