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ANTHONY HOPKINS WORLD EXCLUSIVE ®

Mar/Apr 2013

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BEN SOUTHALL PLEASURE

ISLAND

FROM LECTER TO THE LECTERN

NEIL SINCLAIR

DAD’S ARMY

£3.50

In partnership with

CULTURE | SPORT | CARS | SEX | FITNESS | TECH | HUMOUR | LIFESTYLE

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Vol. 7 | No. 2 | March/April 2013

www.sorted-magazine.com

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42

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12 5

48

Up Front with Steve Legg

ACTION 6

Snow Patrol Hayley Barnard goes off-piste

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The Bear Facts with Bear Grylls

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The Best Man for the Job The highs and lows of Hamilton Island

COLUMNISTS 14

Diamond Geezer with Ant Delaney

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Your Will, Mott Mine with Alex Willmott

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Compassion with Kate Sharma

CULTURE

FEATURES How the Eckers-ley?

Terry Eckersley battles anger and addiction to become a True Apprentice.

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The Real Daddy Day Care Having struggled as a first-time dad, Neil Sinclair learns to handle parenthood with military precision.

Don’t Poo-Poo the Idea of Toilet Twinning The toilet twinning initiative aims to put an end to pooing in the street.

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Bringing Something to the Party Does prayer have a place on the party island of Ibiza? Brian Heasley investigates.

Sean the Sheepherder Sean Stillman says “On yer bike” to church tradition, reaching out to those who find themselves on the fringes of society.

BUSINESS We’re in Business with Charles Humphreys

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He’s Got the Whole Goal in His Hands A chat with Palace’s Julian Speroni

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The Bundesliga Borrows a Brazilian Cacau on culture and the World Cup

Movies with Martin Leggatt

63

Making Your Mark with Stuart Rivers

Television with Emily Russell

64

Relationology with Matt Bird

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Gaming with Jim Lockey

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DVD & Blu Ray with Martin Leggatt

26

Books with Mark Anderson

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Music with Sue Rinaldi

ADVICE 66 69

Cars with Sam Burnett

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Six of the Best… polo shirts

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Top Gear Gadgets and gizmos galore Sixty Second Life Coach with Peter Horne

Cover picture: BAFTA/Jamie Simonds/Rex Features

SPORT

62

22

29

An Act of Faith Sir Anthony Hopkins speaks of his rise to fame, his latest film and an interesting encounter with God.

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LIFESTYLE

48

HEALTH & FITNESS

Smart Talk

82

Fitness with Phil Baines

Big Questions with Jonathan Sherwin

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Nutrition with Caroline Gerrie

84

Lifestyle Doc with Dr Chidi

85

Healthy Cooking with Mike Darracott

OPINION 70

Money with Jon Cobb

71

Family with Richard Hardy

HUMOUR

72

Faith with Sam Gibb

87

Stand Up and Deliver with Andy Kind

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Politics with Lyndon Bowring

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Lucas Aid with Jeff Lucas

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Cut to the Chase with Lee and Baz

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The Last Word with Carl Beech

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STEVE LEGG

Sorted.

Up Front © Jeroen Van Den Broek | Dreamstime.com

Publisher & Editor Steve Legg steve@sorted-magazine.com Deputy Editor Joy Tibbs joy@sorted-magazine.com Sports Editor Stuart Weir Marketing & Advertising Rebekah Taylor rebekah@sorted-magazine.com Duncan Williams Tel: 07960 829615 Classified Advertising Fiona Hinton fiona@hintonmediaservices.com Design Andy Ashdown Design www.andyashdowndesign.co.uk Print Halcyon www.halcyonline.co.uk Distribution COMAG © Sorted Magazine 2013 Sorted is published by Son Christian Media (SCM) Ltd. The acceptance of advertising does not indicate editorial endorsement.

SCM holds names and addresses on computer for the purpose of mailing in accordance with the terms registered under the Data Protection Act 1984.

Sorted is protected by copyright and nothing may be produced wholly or in part without prior permission.

Contact Sorted Magazine PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex, BN17 6WX, UK Tel: 01903 732190 E-mail: steve@sorted-magazine.com

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Sorted Magazine

Scent of a Man

P

icture the scene: shadows flickering in the candlelight, music playing softly in the background, children all in bed. I’ll be expecting some points here for the romantic effort I put in a couple of months ago to treat my overworked wife. Even as I prepared a little idyll of loving she was out speaking at our local church. I shaved, I showered, and if I was more metrosexual I would have moisturised.

I waited.

The key turned in the door downstairs and I mentally pictured her journey through the house as a I listened to the familiar noises of the woman I love. I heard her put the keys in the pot, ask the cat if he wanted some food and run the tap to fill a glass of water. I heard her sit on the bottom stair to take off her boots and then pick her keys back up because she’d forgotten (as usual) to lock the front door. She then padded quietly up the stairs and I heard her hand on the bedroom door before she opened it and came in, smiling at the sight of candles and romance awaiting her.

HE’S ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE YOU CAN SMELL HAS BEEN IN A ROOM; HIS SCENT LINGERS LONG AFTER HE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. It was going to be a magical evening. I went to meet her and brushed her long blonde hair aside so that I could kiss her neck, only to be completely overcome by a knockout burst of Polo – the incredibly expensive and overpowering aftershave that is worn by, among others, one of the statesmen of our church. It hangs around him like a cloud of

cologne. He’s one of those people you can smell has been in a room; his scent lingers long after he has left the building. When he greets your wife with a kiss on the cheek, she comes home smelling like a man.

Our kiss never happened. Not for want of trying; every time I closed my eyes and went in for the kill, all I could picture was the big smiling face of my friend, mentor and hero, Norman Barnes.

The candles flickered out.

It’s quite something to have such an effect on people, to leave your mark on them. I guess we all do it in our own way: as parents, colleagues and mates. We leave our imprint on the people we meet and most of the time we get to choose whether it will be a good or a bad one. The legend that was Mother Teresa said: “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.” That’s an incredible way to live your life.

I’m not recommending running out and buying the strongest aftershave they have in the shop, but wouldn’t it be good to know that, like Norman, people can tell when you’ve been around? To know that when you leave the room it’s left better, happier, because you were there? To know that you have had a positive impact on the people that you meet? It’s something we can all do.

Just one small request… If you meet my wife, greet her with a kiss by all means, and please do leave her better for having met you. But please don’t leave her smelling like you – it spoils my night! I

Steve Legg PUBLISHER & EDITOR steve@sorted-magazine.com SteveLeggUK

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ACTION

SNOW PATROL

BY HAYLEY BARNARD

“D

own two shots of schnapps, place your forehead on the top of the ski pole, spin around five times and then run to the next team member,” said the ski rep. This was the stuff après-ski was made of for me preJesus days. With this in mind, the idea of ‘Christian’ and ‘ski holiday’ seemed something of an oxymoron. What would après-ski look like without the shots?

It’s the first week of the ski season and I join a group travelling with Richmond Holidays to the company’s high-end and very trendy chalet in the French village of Sainte Foy (pronounced “fwa”, don’t you know, darlings).

The chalet has so recently been refurbished that the Seasonaires (the four seasonal staff) have only just finished removing the sticky labels from the new crockery for the 16 guests the chalet can accommodate.

The mantra of Ben Turner, Richmond’s chief executive, is that Christianity is no excuse for inefficiency or amateurism and the accommodation certainly lives up to this. The décor is contemporary, there’s an outdoor hot tub on the deck and you can ski directly to the door of the chalet. I’ve skied at about a dozen resorts across Europe and North America and this is one of the best I’ve experienced.

THE VAST OFF-PISTE, HALFPRICE LIFT PASSES AND LACK OF QUEUES HAS PUT SAINTE FOY ON THE POWDER PILGRIM’S TO-DO LIST. Until last year, Sainte Foy was the hidden gem of the French Alps; a secret the ‘powder hounds’ didn’t like to share, like possessive surfers on a little-known surf break. That was until The Sunday Times described Sainte Foy as the number-one ski resort in the world. This was quite a claim for a ski area that only offers four ski lifts and 35 km of slopes compared with 675 km of piste in Les Trois Vallées (The Three Valleys). But the vast offpiste, half-price lift passes and lack of queues has put Sainte Foy on the powder pilgrim’s to-do list.

Off-piste, also sometimes called backcountry skiing, is simply skiing on ungroomed, unmarked and unpatrolled slopes or pistes either inside or outside the ski resort’s boundaries, sometimes in the woods. The backcountry in Sainte Foy is second to none and I can’t wait to try it out.

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ACTION

But if you’re not quite ready for off-piste, Sainte Foy is a safe haven. There are plenty of long, winding ‘blue’ runs for kids and beginners to practice their turns; while there are some good ‘red’ and harder ‘blues’ from the top two lifts to fulfil an intermediate’s needs. But if you feel confident enough on the piste and you dream of skiing the whole mountain, leaving those perfectly symmetrical snaking patterns in your wake, then this is your opportunity.

Although I planned to ski predominantly off-piste, the main slopes are in perfect condition with a fresh layer of powder, and they have me captivated. I feel a sense of wild-eyed joy as Maddy, Richmond’s ski guide, leads me down deserted slopes. We slice through a glistening carpet of pillow-soft snow, weaving among the trees, leaving my thighs and my face aching.

Later, with my ski partner Hannah, we take the lift to the top of the mountain. The sun is up, the sky is blue and sweeping down to our left are hundreds of metres of off-piste slopes covered by a thick blanket of fresh powder… Hello!

Breathless and grinning, we make our way back to the chalet, where we are greeted with mulled wine, tea, coffee and homemade cake. So far, so good on the aprèsski front. f

Off-piste Information INSURANCE Check your winter sports policy as off-piste is often an exclusion. If it is, purchase carte neige (carré neige) insurance when you buy your lift pass. The main thing it covers is the trip off the mountain (best not think about that too hard)!

EQUIPMENT I

Either ‘all-mountain’ skis or specialist, off-piste skis (wider and longer), plus poles with bigger-than-usual baskets on the bottom I Avalanche Equipment including a built-in radio transmitter and ideally an ABS airbag backpack (you pull a trigger to inflate a balloon like a car air bag designed to keep you on the surface of the avalanche) I A ski buddy I A mobile phone I A helmet I A good local guide I A St Bernard dog (optional)

INSTRUCTION Off-piste lessons are available, either privately via L’École du Ski Français (ESF) or better still (and cheaper), join a group for off-piste guiding or tuition with Evolution 2. In Sainte Foy you could try Brit Nick Quinn, who owns Ski Encore.

PREPARATION Off-piste is far more demanding than piste skiing, so make sure you get fit before you travel. I didn’t, but wished I had. A hundred squats a day should do it for a month leading up to travel.

FURTHER INFORMATION Richmond Holidays www.richmond-holidays.com. Prices at Ste Foy start at £567 for a week (half-board, ensuite accommodation, including ministry and ski guiding).

Ste Foy official tourism website: www.saintefoy-tarentaise.com. École du Ski Français www.esf.net.

Evolution 2 off-piste guide/lessons: www.evolution2.com.

Nick Quinn off-piste guide/lessons www.skiencore.com.

Specialist ski insurance: www.carreneige.com/en.

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ACTION The chalet is warm and the company is even warmer as we lounge around on chaise longue style sofas in front of the roaring fire. Reluctantly, I drag myself off for a shower before what is called “ministry time”. The worship music is a far cry from some of the ‘choice’ songs and chants of the après-ski of old. This is followed by a life story from the chalet manager and then a whizz through 1 Samuel by the Bible teacher (nice job if you can get it!). It’s thought-provoking stuff; challenging and useful after a day of being on the mountainside, a place that always makes me so fervently aware of God’s majesty.

WE PRAY ON SKI LIFTS AND SHARE ENCOURAGEMENT AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN. Rather unexpectedly, champagne and canapés follow and then a three-course dinner that delights. Around the table we share stories from our respective days on the piste and good friendships are forged. We mull over themes from the ministry time and debate a wide range of topics from singleness and the Church through to corporal punishment. Later we retire to the outside hot tub to stargaze and continue our conversations.

The ministry time starts to invade (in the best possible way) the whole of our holiday. We pray on ski lifts and share encouragement at the top of the mountain. The time away from work and the stresses of life allows me to refocus on Jesus and the life he intends for me.

Throughout the trip, booze consumption remains modest, which makes for better skiing the following day.

All in all, this is grown-up après-ski. But more than that, it is a radical departure from what most would understand by the notion of après-ski. This is lifeaffirming and life-changing. I return home renewed and refreshed in body, mind and spirit – and it feels good. In fact, it feels amazing! I

How to survive an avalanche Avalanches can travel at 100mph and are responsible for more than 150 deaths per year, so take avalanche warnings very seriously THESE STEPS COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE: Move to the side of the avalanche. Ski (or tumble) as fast as you can to the side as the fastest and greatest volume of snow is in the centre. You may be able to ski out of its path.

The closer to the edge you get, the better your chances.

Try to stay on your feet for as long as possible. If you do fall, try to lose your poles and skis, which will drag you further down into the snow. If you have an ABS backpack, pull the trigger, otherwise try to ditch your backpack.

Swim to stay near the surface of the snow. The sensation is like being caught in a very big wave while body surfing and tumbling over and over as if in a washing machine. Swim furiously (any stroke!) to go with the wave of snow and to keep your head above the surface. As the avalanche slows, swim aggressively towards the surface before the snow settles like cement.

If you are buried, create breathing room. Before the snow stops completely, cup one or both hands over your mouth and push snow away to create an air pocket. This can give you 30 minutes of air. Also, before the snow sets solid, breath in deeply to expand your chest and hold your breath as the snow fully stops. This will ensure enough room for your chest to expand to breath.

Conserve air and energy. If you are near the surface, you may be able to dig yourself out, but if you are fully buried you’ll be staying there until you are rescued. Don’t waste precious air struggling against the snow. Remain calm and wait.

If you are completely buried but wearing a radio transceiver, your chance of survival is 34%. After 15 minutes, this starts to fall dramatically. If you are not fully buried, survival chances are over 90%.

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BEAR GRYLLS

The Bear Facts © Martinmark | Dreamstime.com

Bear with Your Dreams Bear Grylls knows what he’s talking about when it comes to dreams.

I

n 1998, Bear achieved his childhood dream and entered the Guinness Book of Records as the youngest Briton, at the age of 23, to summit Mount Everest. He did so just 18 months after a freefall parachuting accident in Zambia, which left him with three crushed vertebrae.

Best known for his wildly entertaining and successful TV show Born Survivor (Man Vs Wild in the US), he also became the youngest ever Chief Scout at the age of 35.

That’s some going.

Fortunately for us mere mortals, Bear has also penned several books so we can really get to know the man behind the show. His latest effort, A Survival Guide for Life, encourages readers to consider what they really want to get out of life and how they can achieve these dreams. Here’s a brief taster for you.

Don’t Listen to the Dream-Stealers Once you have written your goals down and start to talk to people about them, you will meet those all-toocommon cynics who will look at you and smirk.

I call them the dream-stealers.

Beware: they are more dangerous to mankind than you might ever imagine.

In life, we will never be short of people who want to knock our confidence or mock our ambitions.

There are lots of reasons why people might want to rain on your parade: perhaps they’re a little jealous that you want more out of life than they might hope for, or they’re worried your success will make them feel inferior. It might be that their motives come from a better place and they just want to spare you the failure, heartache and tears.

YOU WILL MEET THOSE ALL-TOO-COMMON CYNICS WHO WILL LOOK AT YOU AND SMIRK. Either way, the results are the same: you get dissuaded from achieving your dreams and from fulfilling your potential.

The key is not to listen to them too hard. Hear them, if you must – out of respect – but then smile and push on.

Remember, the key to your future success is going to be embracing the very same things those dream-stealers are warning you about: the failure, the heartache and the tears.

All those things will be key stepping stones on the road to success, and are actually good solid markers that you are doing something right. I

If you want to read on, we strongly recommend investing in a copy. It’s available from all good bookshops and online retailers, and it could just help you make the changes you need to introduce in order to turn your life around.

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The Best Man for the Job

BY JOY TIBBS

D

o you remember seeing adverts for the ‘best job in the world’ back in 2009? I specifically remember being sent a link promoting the role of ‘caretaker of the islands’, which involved housesitting the islands just off the Great Barrier Reef for six months. Nice work if you can get it! The job was based on Hamilton Island, the largest inhabited island of the Whitsunday Islands. My heart turned somersaults at the very thought.

Job benefits (if you needed any greater incentive) included a large salary, free lodging in a multi-milliondollar villa, and transportation there and around the islands. All you had to do in the first instance was submit a web video that supported your application.

Unsurprisingly, the submission website crashed two days after the launch of the campaign. More than 34,000 applications from around 200 countries were received, and these were eventually whittled down to just 16 finalists.

So was my video among them? No, I wimped out. But I recently spoke to someone who did apply and, despite the unprecedented competition, managed to land himself the job. That man was Ben Southall, a charity fundraiser and ostrich-rider from Petersfield, Hampshire. So what gave him the edge? Sorted caught up with Ben to get the full story.

What did you do before you got the ‘best job in the world’?

I’d done lots of different jobs before getting the best job in the world. Mainly as an expedition manager working for a company in South Africa during their summer and then returning to the UK in our summer to work as an events manager for a champagne company at the major sporting events, such as Ascot, F1, Wimbledon and Lord’s. I’d completed a number of expeditions climbing mountains in Africa during my year-long adventure called Afritrex, where I drove 65,000kms around the continent in my Land Rover. Life hasn’t been boring.

Did you think you would get the post when you first saw the advert?

To be honest, I didn’t think much of it at first. It was only when a friend handed me the newspaper article and my aunty from Spain emailed it to me that I realised I may be perfect for the position, having just returned from Afritrex.

How did you feel when you found out the job was yours?

Oh, absolute delight, obviously! It was a chance to explore the Great Barrier Reef for six months; diving, snorkelling, sailing and flying around this amazing natural wonder. It was a real job, though, and not many people realised how much work went on behind the scenes with interviews, hosting my own TV show, filming, blogging and photographing my adventures for a global audience.

Tell us about your time on Hamilton Island… what were the major highlights and challenges?

Hamilton Island is an incredible place to live. It’s a luxury tropical island with beautiful beaches, a golf club, yacht club, amazing bush walks and lots of people having fun. But I only spent six weeks there out of the six months, as the rest of it was spent exploring the other islands on the reef. In fact, I visited over 60 other islands – that’s three a week!

The major highlights were diving with whales, sailing some of the fastest yachts in the world, and of course relaxing in the sunshine when I could find the time.

The challenges were I had to be ‘on’ all the time, with over 150 interviews for magazines, radio and television and late nights blogging, it was honestly the ‘busiest job in the world… but that’s how I roll, so it was perfect for me.

How did you feel after your jellyfish experience?

(Ben was stung by an Irukandji jellyfish during the last week of his placement.)

Well it wasn’t fun, that’s for sure! Eight hours in hospital sweating, vomiting and convulsing isn’t brilliant, but I’m fit and healthy, and by the time I got home after having a cocktail of drugs I was right as rain! It really was my own fault, though, for not wearing a stinger suit, which you should do at that time of year to avoid such an incident.

Were you the right person for the job?

Everyone around me tells me I was and I still work with Tourism Queensland today, so something must have been right. To have done the job for six months required enormous energy levels and I’m happy to say I channelled my hyperactivity into the position very well. To be adventurous, take on challenges and work hard were the parameters required and I provided that in abundance.

How did the competition change your life?

Winning the competition allowed me to continue my travelling adventures, but in a different continent I’d never visited before; and someone was willing to pay me for them, which was nice!

It has allowed me to develop my skills as a digital journalist, set up my own production company and have 12

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ACTION more expeditions around the planet, which companies will now support me with, as well as developing my television career.

It also introduced me to my now wife, Sophee, whom I met whilst on one of the islands, and that has to be the best part of the best job in the world.

My latest adventure is to set a world record ascending the tallest mountain in each Australian state (there are eight) in the shortest ever time, ten days, in April 2013. I Find out more about the Aussie 8 challenge at www.bestjobben.com/ aussie8 and follow Ben on Twitter (@Bensouthall).

How did it feel returning to the Great Barrier Reef to the knot?

It was wonderful to have our wedding day near Hamilton Island and to be able to show my backyard off to the friends and family who had heard so much about it from back in the UK. We had the perfect weather, the perfect crowd and the perfect end to two years of engagement and the start of a lifetime of adventures together.

What are you up to these days?

So many things!! I work for Tourism Queensland, Tourism Australia and the University of Queensland; I write for websites, help tourism operators with their marketing and present for a children’s television show too. Life is almost too busy! We live in Brisbane and want to move to somewhere in Asia at some stage in the next couple of years to explore another continent.

What other goals do you have in life?

I love my fitness and trail running, I love my expeditions to far-off places around the world, so I keep setting goals and trying to live life to the full every day. ‘Sleep when you’re dead’ is the phrase I like to live by.

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COLUMNISTS

ANT DELANEY

Diamond Geezer

Eggs-amining Easter

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in the face of overwhelming evidence of the resurrection of Jesus Christ they cast a sceptical eye and hold intellectual doubts. The trouble with those people is that they do not want to believe.”

It wasn’t Jesus’ great teaching or even his miracles that sent his earliest followers out on the street and enabled them to change the whole world in a couple of centuries. It wasn’t that they were attenders of church services or believers in an abstract philosophy. No. They were eyewitnesses to an event that changed everything.

Nothing could stop these people!

Everywhere they went, they told everyone they met that God had done something unique in their lifetime; a man had been raised from the dead. And they lived as if they truly believed that death had been defeated.

EASTER MEANS EGGS, BUNNIES AND AN EXTRA DAY OFF TO WATCH SPORT FOR MANY. If Jesus didn’t die and rise again, it’s important that we find this out and dismiss it as ‘legend’. If it did happen, nothing more important has ever happened. The truth of Christianity stands or falls on whether God actually physically raised Jesus from the dead. The Bible itself says that if the resurrection didn’t really happen, the Christian faith is worse than pointless and we have no grounds for hope, so we might as well just “eat and drink for tomorrow we die” (1 Corinthians 15:32).

A woman wrote to J Vernon McGee: “Our preacher said that on Easter, Jesus just fainted on the cross and that the disciples nursed him back to health. What do you think?”

McGee replied: “Beat your preacher with a leather whip with 39 heavy strokes. Nail him to a cross and hang him in the sun for six hours. Then, run a spear through his heart.

Embalm him and put him in an airless tomb for three days and see what happens…”

Every year some writer or another dismisses the resurrection story as a myth fabricated by Jesus’ followers to overcome the shame of his execution and to ‘fulfil’ his many predictions about rising from the dead. Too many people chug down the chocolate and watch more telly, never realising the mind-boggling, earth-shaking, awe-inspiring importance of the event this holiday celebrates: the moment that changed history and eternity; when Jesus of Nazareth, cruelly executed three days

earlier, broke out of his tomb into the dawn of a new day.

German theologian Wolfhart Pannenberg wrote: “The evidence for Jesus’ resurrection is so strong that nobody would question it except for two things: first, it is a very unusual event; and second, if you believe it happened, you have to change the way you live.”

I’m usually a lot less straightforward in my column than this, but however you got this magazine, that’s what I want to challenge you to do. Look into Easter, like the first followers looked into that empty tomb. Nothing is more important. Then abandon all lesser allegiances and follow the Son of God, unreservedly. He demands no less. I have every right to call for that change of life, because he has proved beyond reasonable doubt for anyone who will look at the evidence fairly that he is the Son of God, and he’s alive today. I Former plain-clothes policeman Anthony Delaney is a broadcaster, writer and speaker who leads Ivy Manchester Church. Regularly appearing on BBC Radio 4 and 5 Live, his book, Diamond Geezers, is available now and is published by Integrity Publishers. Follow him on Twitter @anthonydelaney or read his blog at www.anthonydelaney.com.

© Studioportosabbia | Dreamstime.com

© Jill Battaglia | Dreamstime.com

I

saw people on Twitter complaining on Boxing Day that Easter Eggs were already on sale. I’m never one to complain about chocolate. When the world hasn’t got a clue what these festivals mean, it’s no surprise that they all blur into one.

An American guy told me he was looking for a necklace to buy for his wife on a London street market. A woman next to him looking at crosses asked the store holder: “Why have these ones got that little guy on there?” Easter is a holiday that few people truly understand.

Easter means eggs, bunnies and an extra day off to watch sport for many. A Reader’s Digest survey showed that more than half of people in Britain don’t know why Christians celebrate Easter.

We can blame the faceless enemy of ‘commercialisation’, but the real reason so few people understand why Easter is worth celebrating is that the Church has backpedalled on the importance of the cross and resurrection as historical, history-changing events, preferring to encourage metaphors or legends on a par with the Easter bunny.

Billy Graham wrote: “There is more evidence that Jesus rose from the dead than there is that Julius Caesar ever lived or Alexander the Great died at the age of 33. It is strange that historians accept thousands of facts for which they can produce only shreds of evidence. But

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RUNNING HEAD COLUMNISTS

ALEX WILLMOTT

Your Will, Mott Mine

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

T

© Djama86 | Dreamstime.com

he level of my dishonesty has become too much to bear. And you, faithful Sorted readers, deserve transparency and integrity from us columnists.

Deep within my being, like a filthy anchor, lives a buried truth. It screams at me during the day and whispers to me at night. And in recent weeks I’ve seen it creeping across the face that stares back at me in the mirror. I, Alex Willmott – author, journalist and speaker – have a receding hairline. I am both ashamed and embarrassed to admit the fact that the evidence proving my youth is beginning to fall away like my

forehead itself. How did it come to this?

As one who used to mock those with comb overs, I didn’t take to this new revelation kindly. In fact, the night before my last haircut, I vowed to ask the stylist to be honest with me. Sitting in her twisty chair I grew anxious as she trimmed the great deserter; my accursed hairline. I uttered the most vulnerable words any 28-year-old man can conceive. “Excuse me, luv, be honest with me.

Am I receding, or what?” She smiled. And in the curvature of her lips I could tell that the news was bad. Mercifully, the stylist broke it to me with a simple nod. She couldn’t bring herself to respond audibly.

I resisted the temptation to begin commanding my hairline to return to his post. “You coward! How could you leave your lifelong comrades alone up there like reeds in a storm? To whom do you now bow your knee? For which new head have you committed such an atrocity? Answer me, damn you!” (That wouldn’t have gone down too well in the barbers.)

My friends have attempted to allay my fears, but like Job’s comforters, they’ve left me with more questions than answers. Why did God bless Beckham with such a sovereign scalp but leave me with Andre Agassi’s hand-me-down? Quite soon I’ll become a slaphead; I can feel it in my everdiminishing quiff. Oh have mercy, Lord.

AM I RECEDING, OR WHAT?” SHE SMILED. AND IN THE CURVATURE OF HER LIPS I COULD TELL THAT THE NEWS WAS BAD. I searched the scriptures for comfort, but none came. However, I did find temporary comic relief regarding my fellow sufferer, Elisha. “As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said.

“Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys” (2 Kings 2:23-24).

But there are no bears in Yorkshire to protect me from the hurtful youth just itching to let loose an onslaught of Uncle Fester abuse. So where should I go for answers? My girlfriend said she’d still fancy me, my mates promised never to mock, but still I longed for some sort of meaning behind this defect. And in the quietness of a northern church I stumbled upon it. James 4:14 reads: “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

And there we have it. My life, like my hair, is as thin as mist. It will vanish as quickly as it was formed. Brilliant! That’s why we should live life to the full for the short time we’re on the Earth – whether we have hair or not.

(This column is dedicated to Luke Smith, currently fighting cancer victoriously. Kick its ass, bro!) I

Alex Willmott penned the epic Selah trilogy. Former newspaper journalist, sports fanatic and local football manager, Alex took a vow to live life to the full after reading the book of John in the Bible aged 16. Visit www.alexwillmott.com for more information.

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COLUMNISTS

KATE SHARMA

Compassion

The Trip of a Lifetime

I

n October 2011, an email pinged into Joe Honeyands’ inbox. It was from his wife Danielle. It simply said: “We have to do this!” and was followed by an invitation from Compassion to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. It’s now around four months since the couple returned from the summit of Africa’s highest mountain, and Joe shares how the trip of a lifetime has completely changed their outlook.

“I was unsure,” Joe confesses as he remembers receiving the email from his wife. “We’d done a bit of walking on holiday, but never a trek; and we had rarely travelled outside the UK.” But, as the couple examined how the funds raised from the trip would be used to help students from desperately poor backgrounds receive a university education and participate in Compassion’s Leadership Development Programme, Joe’s hesitations turned to excitement. “As a teacher I worked with kids of a similar age who have everything laid on for them,” says Joe. “To be able to offer those same opportunities to students from the slums of Kenya was an incredibly motivating factor.” So the couple took the plunge.

Raising the funds seemed particularly daunting to the couple, but it turned out to be surprisingly fulfilling. “Initially we mentioned it to a few people, but nothing came of it,” Joe remarks. “So we laid on a few events from a fundraising meal to selling Krispy Kreme doughnuts. It was a great opportunity to really engage people in how their support would benefit the students.”

After weeks of anticipation, gym sessions and cardiovascular training, the couple touched down in Nairobi on October 5, 2012.

Before they began the climb they spent time visiting Compassion in Kenya and met the students who would benefit from the funds they raised. “Each of them told us their story of how Compassion had transformed their lives,” recalls Joe. “Every one of them could remember the first things that their sponsor had written to them.

One of the students, Stella, said something that really stuck with us, ‘Poverty is not a lack of food; poverty is not a lack of money; poverty is a lack of hope.’ That’s really something coming from someone who knows what it is to have nothing.”

THEY HAD JUST ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE REACHING THE SUMMIT:“AMAZING!” With the inspiration of the students fresh in their memories, the group boarded the bus to the base of Kilimanjaro and met their guide Emmanuel. “I have to admit, it was a little scary,” Joe admits. But they could not have been in safer hands. Emmanuel, who led the celebrity trip for Comic Relief in 2009, is one of the most experienced Kilimanjaro guides.

His intimate knowledge of the terrain and climate of the region is second to none.

As they climbed higher, the temperature dropped and the effects of the high altitude started to set in. The final ascent was particularly gruelling. It had to be done at night, so the climbers were packed off to bed at 5pm and woken for breakfast at 11pm. “The

air is so thin at the top that after every two steps I felt like I’d run a 100-metre sprint,” he remembers. “It was also really emotional as Danielle starting suffering from altitude sickness and vomiting.”

It was too dangerous to stay with her, so while a guide cared for his wife, Joe continued his ascent. “The emotional impact is something you can’t prepare yourself for. I was cold, out of breath and concerned about Danielle, but then another climber came right up to me and said, ‘You’re amazing, hallelujah!’

That really spurred me on to keep going.” Joe was joined by Danielle shortly afterwards and they had just one word to describe reaching the summit: “Amazing!”

Danielle’s achievement is even more impressive considering that shortly after returning to the UK the couple discovered that Danielle had been in the early stages of pregnancy during the trip. “I suggested we call the baby, who is due in June, Kilimanjaro,” says Joe cheekily, “but Danielle wasn’t so keen.”

Inspired to engage more young people in getting to know the world around them, Joe left his job as a physics teacher to take up the position of children’s and youth worker at Holy Trinity Church in Rayleigh. “The trip opened my eyes and heart to the world beyond me and I wanted to enable others to experience a world outside of their own,” he states. “Our lives have been transformed. I always said that things looked different from the top of the mountain and they really do.” I To book your place on the trip of a life time, visit www.compassion.ukrft.com/sorted.

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MOVIES Zade Rosenthal © 2012 MVLFFLLC. TM & © 2012 Marvel

With Martin Leggatt

Men of Steel… and Iron Iron Man 3 (3D) This spring sees the very welcome return of Iron Man alter ego Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) as he explodes onto our screens to do battle with the forces of evil once again. He is rejoined by girlfriend Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), Jarvis (Paul Bettany), best friend James Rhodes (Don Cheadle) and bodyguard Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau stepping down from the directorial chair) as he fights against perhaps his most dangerous foes to date: the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) and Aldrich Killian (in what looks to

be a magnificent turn by Guy Pearce).

For me, and for many fellow critics and devotees of the franchise, there didn’t seem to be much room for any further instalments following the first two Iron Man films and the highly successful Avengers movies.

However, one sure-fire way to reboot a franchise is to introduce a new director, and this episode is scripted and directed by one of the best in the business. Shane Black (Lethal Weapon) takes the helm, and as a result this film sees a departure from being just another battle of superheroes in iron suits. It couldn’t

come with a much higher pedigree.

Stark is at his lowest ebb in this film. Wracked by guilt and selfdoubt, he must raise his game to save himself and those he loves.

Mandarin isn’t the stereotypical villain, despite the quasipantomime name, and Kingsley gives the role the full benefit of his Oscar-winning talent. For most Marvel aficionados, the biggest draw might be the rumoured special cameo appearance of Marvel creator and legend Stan Lee in an imaginatively titled role, Stan the Man. We shall see.

%%%%% The only downside for me is the lack of an AC/DC soundtrack.

even a surprise appearance by Armand Assante, an actor who I’ll always have a soft spot for after his

performance in the woefully underrated suspense movie spoof Fatal Instinct.

%%%%% Four-star Farrell.

Dead Man Down This tale of revenge stars one of Dublin’s finest; the supremely underrated Colin Farrell, an actor who for too long has been more famous (or should that be infamous?) for his petulant, offscreen shenanigans rather than his powerful onscreen performances.

Noomi Roopace, who I found quite disappointing in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows co-stars with support from Dominic Cooper, a man who can surely now be forgiven for his role in Mamma Mia! (it surely must have been a handy excuse to escape from his house share with the dreadful James Corden). There is 20

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Hummingbird This review is dedicated to my friend Chris, it’s a private joke.

Hummingbird stars perhaps the most wooden of actors, Jason

Statham. Actually, that’s not entirely fair, although it is a fair criticism of a man who seems very happy to go down the Burt Reynolds career path, where he essentially plays the same character in every film. It’s a shame,

because his role as Turkish in Snatch seemed to indicate a fine and promising career.

Anyway, in this offering, The Stath once again plays a former exSAS soldier (his cinematic exploits combined must surely eclipse the career of Andy McNab) who finds himself suffering the all-too-real fate of many of our ex-servicemen: becoming homeless and living on the streets.

For all you fans of Statham’s countless action films, I can assure you that this is set to be chock-ablock with testosterone-fuelled vengeance. However, I’m sincerely hoping this finally breaks Statham free from all the films I’ve derided over the years and will actually help him establish his credentials as a decent actor.

%%%%% The Stath who dares wins.

To The Wonder OK fellas, brace yourselves. This Terrence Malick offering is a *gulp* dreaded romance drama. Before you throw this review in the bin, just remember that Terence Malick directs it and that we normally have to wait ages between films from him. His last excellent offering, The Tree of Life, was only two years ago, and for Malick to release another film so soon is the stuff of Mayan doom prophecy; it’s unheard of.

Also, don’t be put off by the choice of Ben Affleck as leading man.

Malick is nothing if not unconventional, and I can only suppose that, true to form, he foresaw the post-Argo resurrection of Affleck’s career long before anyone else. Either that or he just bucks any and all trends.

The strange casting continues with former Bond girl Olga Kurylenko, who co-stars as Affleck’s love interest. The fantastic and possibly most convincingly scary

Oblivion Kurylenko looks set to be Tom Cruise’s big release for the year.

Perhaps at the age of 50, Tom is conserving his energy, but then he is in far better shape than I am at

actor ever, Javier Bardem, completes the Bond connection.

Following a holiday to Mont SaintMichel, Marina (Kurylenko) and Neil (Affleck) move to Oklahama, where all the trouble starts. Marina meets a fellow countryman Father

Quintana (Bardem), a man who is having serious doubts about his calling. Matters are further complicated when Neil’s old friend Jane (Rachel McAdams) arrives on the scene.

some years his junior.

This sci-fi thriller is directed by Tron: Legacy’s Joseph Kosinski and is the fruit of more than five years’ development. Cruise’s performance is boosted by the inclusion of Morgan Freeman, who takes time off

from playing God to put in his usual fantastic performance, as well as an appearance from Whitley Bay’s finest export, the wonderful Andrea Riseborough.

This is a post-apocalyptic vision of the future in which Cruise plays Jack Harper, a kind of robot repairman who stumbles on something that brings everything he has ever held true into doubt. The big question is, will Tom be able to save the world once again? I Martin Leggatt is married to Sue and father to Aaron, Sam, Hope and Paige. He’s a selfconfessed movie geek, although his tastes run to an eclectic assortment of action, thriller, black and white, war and pretentious (as Sue would say) art house films. Martin’s favourite film is Powell and Pressburger’s A Matter of Life and Death.

%%%%% Another Malick master class.

%%%%% Another stellar performance from Cruise.

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TELEVISION With Emily Russell

To be (human) or not to be A ghost, a werewolf, and a vampire share a house.

It sounds like the start of a bad joke, but it’s the premise of one of BBC Three’s biggest hits.

FOR ALL THE SUPERNATURAL POWER ON SHOW, THE GREATEST STRENGTH IS THE GROUP’S FRIENDSHIP.

BBC/Touchpaper

The show explores their efforts to blend in and the difficulties they face in trying to be human and cope with their supernatural sides. The group is joined by Nina (Sinead Keenan), George’s girlfriend who he accidentally turns into a werewolf.

There’s tragedy to come for the group and they are later joined in

their struggle for survival, acceptance and humanity by immature werewolf Tom (Michael Sorcha), repressed English vampire Hal (Damien Moloney), and ghost Alex (Kate Bracken).

For all the supernatural power on show, the greatest strength is the group’s friendship. Werewolves and vampires are deadly enemies, but the bromances between Mitchell and George, and Tom and Hal, demonstrate that friendships can spring from the most unexpected places.

While they’re mocked for even trying to be friends, the unlikely lads manage to traverse sticky situations and are much better off as a result of caring about each other and their housemates. The friendships are entirely believable – it’s little things like Mitchell and George’s obsession with The Real Hustle and Tom and Hal’s hilarious inability to ask girls out that endears them and makes them so identifiable, despite their non-human sides. Supernatural or human, life, relationships, and friendships can be extremely testing and tragic. But they can be lifesaving, satisfying, and awesome too.

As with many shows of this genre,

BBC/Touchpaper

B

eing Human starts with socially awkward werewolf George (Russell Tovey) and his best friend, Irish vampire Mitchell (Aidan Turner, who went on to star as one of the dwarves in megablockbuster film The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey), moving into a house that is haunted by Annie (Lenora Critchlow).

the characters struggle with their true natures. They all have dangerous savage sides that could be, and have in the past been, harmful to others.

And while it’s clear that they shouldn’t be as dismissive of humanity as other supernatural characters are, they shouldn’t repress their true natures either.

Denying who you are, no matter how destructive you can be, can lead to pain and an unfulfilled life. We shouldn’t massacre and gorge like Mitchell does when he tragically gives in to his vampire side, nor should we live as rigidly and set apart as Hal, believing it’s the only way to control ourselves. There has to be a balance.

The afterlife can a punishing place in Being Human. It’s a place people want to escape and is shown to be grey and full of trouble. It’s also where some find peace and those they love. Armed with a wickedly dark sense of humour, tender relationships and unflinching violence, the show isn’t afraid to look at life and the afterlife in a darkly different and challenging way. I Emily Russell has a degree in Media and Film Studies and works part-time for the University of Southampton. She has been writing Culturewatch articles for the Damaris Trust website (www.damaris.org) since 2005 and watches far too much science-fiction and fantasy, crime shows and wrestling. She is married to Anthony.

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Being Human is shown on BBC Three and all previous series are out on DVD.

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GAMING With Jim Lockey

Console fight night

M

y experience playing an innovative but ultimately flawed iPhone game has led me to wonder just what is come from the next generation of home games consoles.

Real Boxing for iOS boasts detailed graphics and a gesture control system using your iPad’s/iPhone’s camera. The developers have used motion capture of real boxers to ensure that the natural movement of its digital fighters and, as a result, the game’s visual fidelity helps it to punch above its weight.

WILL WE SEE A TOUCH SCREEN EMBEDDED WITHIN THE NEXT XBOX CONTROLLER? Yet this mobile box-’em-up suffers when it comes to game play. At the time of writing, Real Boxing was addled with game-crippling bugs.

Hopefully a patch will address this, but there is no way of fixing the clunky, oversimplified touch controls. Worse still is the performance of the gesture scheme, which I found infuriating to use on the iPad and impossible on my iPhone. It’s a problem of screen size: to be precise, the screen size is much too small. If you like fighting games and insist on playing one on iPhone, go for Real Boxing. But personally I

prefer to play fighting games on systems with actual buttons.

The way Real Boxing attempts to bring gesture control to iOS is a small-scale version of a trend occurring elsewhere in the industry that seeks to make each platform’s unique gimmick available to all other platforms. Real Boxing makes gesture controls available for a portable device when once it was only for home consoles; the Wii U utilises its new controller to make dual screen experiences like those on the DS possible at home; and the Playstation Vita brings the touchscreen functionality of smartphones to a traditional portable console.

Are the companies that bring us these products really only trying to leech off each other’s successes?

When it comes to console development, are there other industry-encouraging manufacturers to make their offerings similar to those of their competitors? Surely they want their consoles to stand out rather than looking the same as all the rest!

Let’s assume for a moment that we are a video game development company. We are Sorted Games, it’s 2011, and we have a great concept for a game that requires dual screen functionality. That means the DS (or the soon-to-bereleased 3DS) platform. A nice exclusive title is great, but it only makes us so much money. What about all those people playing different consoles?

So, rather than making our lovely, dual screen game, we decide to make something that uses a single screen.

That way we can put it on more platforms and reap the benefits of having a much higher customer base. So that’s what we do.

But in early 2013, it’s time to start work on another new title and the dual screen concept returns. This year, however, the Wii U is on the market and we can build our dual screen experience on two different consoles. We get a slice of the portable pie, and the home market pie. That’s twice the pie!

Now is the time to make our dual screen game. We’re happy, Nintendo is happy and the pockets of Sorted Games are lined with pie. Now consider Sony and Microsoft; they get none of our dual screen game profits. If they want some of our baked goods, they’ll need to develop peripherals or consoles that allow for a similar experience.

This is the principle that drives console manufacturers to build similarity with their competitors into their hardware. Since creating the Playstation Move for PS3, Sony has enjoyed revenue from titles ported from Wii because it has created an environment on its console that allows for it.

This had led to much speculation about the next console offerings from Sony and Microsoft, which are expected to be announced this year.

Will we see a touch screen embedded within the next Xbox controller?

Perhaps Vita owners will be able to use their handheld system as a controller for the next Sony home console. It’s a distinct possibility. I Jim is a lifelong gamer and lives in Kent with his wife and children. He is also an artist and curator. His website is www.jimlockey.co.uk and his PSN name is tearfulminotaur.

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DVD & BLU RAY With Martin Leggatt

Looking East-wood

H

ow can I possibly condense an epic career of more than 50 years as an actor and director into under a thousand words?

Without wasting any more precious words, here are a select few of my favourite Clint Eastwood films.

The Unforgiven

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“I’VE KILLED JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT WALKS OR CRAWLED AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.” The film features another veteran actor, Gene Hackman, as the calculating and menacing bad guy.

The film deservingly won Hackman a Best Supporting Actor Oscar as well as Best Director and Best Picture for Eastwood, and it is still

Magnum Force Apart from his roles as avenging loners in Westerns, Eastwood is synonymous with tough-talking, .44 Magnum-wielding cop Harry Callahan. Clint enjoyed five outings as Callaghan, from Dirty Harry and Magnum Force to the poorer The Enforcer, Sudden Impact and dreadful finale The Dead Pool.

Magnum Force is, for me, the standout, perhaps because the supporting cast boasts a pre-Hutch David Soul, Tim Matheson, Kip Niven and Robert Ulrich, not to mention the ever-excellent Hal Holbrook as Callahan’s nemesis Lt Briggs. The plot is a little more complex than the original, especially with the two key twists, which I won’t reveal in case you haven’t seen it.

As with Dirty Harry, Eastwood performs all his own stunts, including one where he is left clinging to the hood of a moving, swerving car; and the climactic motorcycle chase sequence.

Where Eagles Dare Although primarily a vehicle for the great Richard Burton, this Alistair MacLean adaptation is one the best early Eastwood roles. The storyline is pure Boy’s Own with its daring cable car rides and spectacular gun battles.

SNAP/Rex Features

Eastwood pretty much singlehandedly redefined the Western movie genre from his groundbreaking performances in Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns as the quietly spoken gunslinger in A Fistful of Dollars, A Few Dollars More and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

These were followed by the equally excellent High Plains Drifter, Pale Rider and The Outlaw Josey Wales.

If he had made just one of these films he could have rested on his laurels as the greatest wearer of a poncho and Stetson to grace the big screen. However, at an age when most people would be donning a comfortable pair of slippers and settling into retirement, Clint, at 62, directed and starred in The Unforgiven.

His character, William Munny, is far removed from the traditional,

morally superior avenger; a man who is not averse to shooting people in the back. “I’ve killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another,” he confesses.

However, this film is much more than glorified violence. It is about weakness, loneliness, the human condition and, most of all, it is about the consequences of actions. In one of the many moving scenes between Eastwood’s Munny and Morgan Freeman’s character Ned, Munny speaks with deep regret and shame about the man he used to be.

a mystery how Al Pacino beat Eastwood in the Best Actor category.

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Kelly’s Heroes This film is based on sentiment as much as on actual quality. It’s my father’s favourite film and he has even chosen its rousing theme tune, “Burning Bridges” by the Mike Curb Congregation Band, as his funeral music!

Eastwood stars as Private Kelly, a former lieutenant who was demoted

Everett Collection/Rex Features

Its many iconic moments include the ‘Broadsword calling Danny Boy’ scene, and Burton and Eastwood scaling the mountainside to enter the impenetrable Schloss Adler.

It is a film that regularly features in the top-100 war movies categories and one that Steven Spielberg has voted as his favourite all-time movie of the genre. The main driving force behind the film was Burton’s stepson, who wanted to see his stepfather in a blockbusting action adventure movie. This led to MacLean being persuaded to pen a new story, writing the film and novel simultaneously in just six weeks.

This film amazingly has Eastwood’s highest on-screen body count, but this pales into insignificance compared to the fact that Eastwood nearly didn’t appear in the film as Burton preferred the far lesser-known Richard Egan for the role.

as the fall guy following a betterconnected officer’s deadly mistake.

He is the real brains and leader of Big Joe’s (Telly Savalas at his best) platoon of veteran soldiers, who just happen to be the antithesis of what you would expect heroes to be.

There’s the ever-complaining Little Joe (Stuart Margolin – best known as Angel in The Rockford Files); the scheming, rear echelon profiteer Sergeant Crapgame (veteran Don Rickles – who voices Mr Potato Head

in the Toy Story films) and the performance that steals the whole film from Donald Sutherland as proto-hippie tank commander Sergeant Oddball.

Kelly stumbles upon some documents that reveal a horde of Nazi gold stashed in a bank deep behind enemy lines. He devises and executes a military campaign, inadvertently spearheading a blitzkrieg offensive by the US forces.

It’s worth a watch! I

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BOOKS

With Mark Anderson

%%%%%

The Great Book Sail The Iron Ship Ewan Corlett The HMS Titanic has been hailed as the ship that “changed the world”. To my recollection it did not have a great track record; it only lasted a few weeks! When I began to read The Iron Ship, I was astonished to learn that the SS Great Britain is still around today; you can even board her, 170 years after she was built!

Designed by Britain’s most prolific engineer, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, the SS Great Britain was the world’s first great ocean liner. She was launched by Prince Albert and described as “the greatest experiment since the creation”.

The SS Great Britain was the first iron steam ship to cross the Atlantic in 14 days, unheard of in its day. She went all over the world bringing passengers and cargo to the ends of the earth flying under a British Flag and showing that Britain did, in fact, rule the waves.

Dr Ewan Corlett seems to have produced this book as a real labour of love. It is packed full of beautiful paintings of the ship, close-ups of its groundbreaking, ingenious designs such as the screw propeller, and a load of mind-blowing facts!

I was hooked as soon as I picked up this charmingly written book. It is full of passion and awe, with great respect given to a ship that changed seafaring for 100 years. And to think that you can have parties, meetings and even get married on board today is fantastic.

The story of the SS Great Britain sounds unbelievable, from its “birth” to near-death experiences, being moored on the Falkland’s and the plan to restore her to glory. Textbooks need to written like this! A real-life floating museum, more stories than you can imagine and they are all true!

The Red Hand Gang Walter Otton Warm and caring is not how I would describe Red Hand Gang. Take three friends, a very long charity walk and you’ll have a recipe for crude jokes and a lot of reminiscing. Men love football and curries, and some are partial to the odd pint too! Facing midlife crises, these three blokes are 26

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no different. Where are their lives going? What have they achieved? It is interesting, gritty, honest and not for the easily offended.

Men Cry Alone Philip Paris One in four women and one in six men will suffer domestic abuse,

according to the Home Office’s British Crime survey 2011. Violence is all around us: on the news, films and more shockingly in our homes.

This book is breaking the taboo of how men can suffer violence from their other halves. Ashamed of the stigma, these men cry alone. This is a wakeup call to what goes on behind closed doors.

%%%%%

Zom-B Darren Shan With the likes of The Walking Dead being commissioned for its fourth season, the zombie genre is as popular as ever. Zom-B offers a dark, comedic edge to the traditional tale.

It is slow to start, but takes off with twists that will enthral and leave you wanting more. This is a good thing, as this is the first book in a series of others to come. The end is particularly shocking and not in the way you expect.

%%%%%

The Sick Rose Laurie Mellor “England is broken”: a term we hear too often for my liking. Laurie Mellor delves into England’s past, dissecting where we went wrong. Was there abandonment by people toward their God? Was it man’s evil nature? Or was it the sixties in general?! Mellor has gone to great lengths to give evidence for why we are broken, but no real solution as to how we can fix England. Fascinating and full of hard truths. I Mark was born in Belfast, and developed a book and football obsession at a young age. He and wife Lisa belong to Fishgate, a church plant in Newtownabbey. Read Mark’s musings at overtakenheart.blogspot.co.uk.

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MUSIC

With Sue Rinaldi Andy Smith

Something to A-Muse You

Ladders, Rocks & Lightning Swords Muse The 2nd Law

Muse The 2nd Law If there were a Grammy for the band with the largest collection of musical genres in a recording career, then these boys from Devon would surely win! In The 2nd Law, Muse appear exultant as they skilfully traverse their way through an array of stylistic territory, ranging from rock opera and electronic dubstep to Bondesque orchestral drama and neo-pop! Their penchant for chameleon-like behaviour may lose some fans but, undeniably, the Muse-effect still reigns.

As well as building walls of sound so huge that even Goliath could not scale them, frontman Matthew Bellamy makes his mark with his unmistakable vocal style. In “Supremacy” his falsetto is off the charts; in “Madness” he evokes Freddie Mercury; and in the 2012 Olympics theme, “Survival”, he sounds as triumphant as Usain Bolt and could probably have lit the Olympic torch with one flick of his vibrato! Bassist Christopher Wolstenholme adds a personal touch singing about his struggles with alcoholism on self-penned songs “Save Me” and “Liquid State”.

Whether or not this is their best album to-date is arguable. What is clear, however, is that they have gone all thermodynamic on us and, according to this musical handbook of ‘Musenomics’, the second law concerning entropy (a measure of disorder) explains why our planet, economy and socio-political systems are turning into unsustainable chaos! We need to fight apathy with action, and perhaps it is this message more than the excellently produced music that the band really wants us to muse upon!

Gungor Ghosts Upon the Earth

With an album title suggesting enough Marvel Comic mayhem to overthrow a movie-load of superheroes, you could be forgiven for thinking this might be a little surreal.

Quite the opposite! This Walesbased singer-songwriter is a genius at crafting a melody that begs you to return and has a shrewd knack for expressing his intentions, affections and Christian beliefs in a way that puts poetry back in fashion.

To top it all off, the quality of Andy’s voice is a perfect companion to the inspired arrangements, creating a truly authentic adventure.

Mumford & Sons Babel

Andy Smith Ladders, Rocks & Lightening

Mumford & Sons Babel

This latest collection of stirring, heart-thumping songs calls your ears to immediate attention as a relentless acoustic guitar opens the musical gates of Babel and Marcus Mumford spills out words on a trajectory worthy of a supersonic jet.

This album is not a feel-good skip through the park. Instead, it’s a robust climb over mountains and down valleys accompanied by music of vibrancy and valour. It is loaded with biblical imagery and God-fearing lyrics, yet is never clichéd or lofty in message. The band aspired to make this album “more exposed, more naked”, and without doubt they have succeeded. I

Gungor Ghosts Upon the Earth Quirky, profound and imaginative are just a few of the words that blitz your mind as you stroll through this musical maze, weaving a path between pop, chamber, acoustic and choral stimuli.

If you think this sounds like a recipe for confusion, it isn’t. Christian band Gungor successfully inhabit every beat of every bar, and with recurring themes of creation, redemption and recognising beauty in life, this album serves up a feast of sublime and eclectic flavours that will leave you wanting more!

Sue Rinaldi travels internationally as a concert artist, worship co-ordinator, speaker and creative consultant. A self-confessed info junkie and movie enthusiast, her interest in culture, justice, technology and the future fuels her living and writing (www.suerinaldi.net).

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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SAM BURNETT

Cars

CARS Nine Wholes of Golf

Is the Volkswagen Golf more than the sum of its parts, or does it just have really good parts?

S

ome cars are just cars. Others transcend their mechanical limitations and become part of the zeitgeist. Or even just the family.

Now, a Golf isn’t necessarily the sort of car you’d give a name to, but there has always been an indefinable appeal to it that other manufacturers have sought to emulate. It’s the backbone of the Volkswagen outfit; a sort of one-car range in itself.

We’ve taken a look at nine different aspects of the new Golf to try and examine it in more detail. Of course, our headline should

probably be ‘18 wholes of Golf’, but your humble correspondent quickly decided that it involved too much hard work trying to think of so many different categories.

A car as momentous as the new Golf deserves some examination, however, and we were fortunate enough to get behind the wheel at the UK launch of what is the seventh generation of the family hatch. We like the Golf, and so does the rest of the world: 29 million have been built in the 38 years since the original car went on sale. The lower-medium class that it competes in represents one in every three cars sold in f

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It’s lighter

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the UK each year, and nearly 60,000 Golf hatchbacks were sold in 2011; it’s big business.

So the Golf needs to be a good car to succeed, and from first impressions the new car has definitely built on a successful formula. Actually, we might even go so far as to say – whisper it – that the Golf is one of the best allround cars you can get for your money. It’s all things to all people, a truly classless (and yet still classy) people’s car for the ages. Or perhaps we’re going a little crazy and letting the new car smell go to our heads. Let’s have a look at some of the things we’ve learnt about the Golf during its launch and you can decide for yourself.

Swanky ambience

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It’s become such a cliché, but the interior of the Golf really is the benchmark for the class… and probably several classes above it. It’s solid, quietly stylish (Audi’s A3 is just as good in terms of quality, but a little more in-your-face in terms of styling) and feels like it will last forever.

Crucially, the interiors of the Ford Focus and Vauxhall Astra – the Golf’s two main rivals – are comparatively weak. Neither matches the perceived quality of the VW and both seem quite fussily styled in comparison. The Golf does enough to ensure that it’s also going to be on the shopping lists of buyers looking for something like the Mercedes A-Class, BMW 1 Series or even the Audi A3.

High-standard specification

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We simply didn’t believe Volkswagen when it said that every Golf would come with DAB radio, Bluetooth, cruise control, fancy electronic safety systems (ABS, ESP and something called XDS, which simulates a limited-slip differential and is designed to counteract understeer) and a touchscreen control panel in the middle of the dashboard. And yet it’s true.

Another slightly odd addition is the automatic, postcollision braking system. You would think that postcollision is a little late to be thinking about braking, but it turns out that secondary collisions caused by wandering wrecks are quite common.

Still, you expect everything to be a cost option, and for there to be a ridiculously cheap entry-level model made out of recycled Pepsi cans at the bottom of the range to grab headlines (“from £11,995!”), but that simply isn’t the case with the Golf.

Spending more on the basic list price might be anathema to a lot of car buyers, but with a cheaper car you could end up paying more elsewhere. The list price starts at £16,285 for an S-spec 1.2-litre petrol, but realistically you’re going to want to look at the £18K cars.

The range goes all the way up to around £25,000.

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Volkswagen says it has worked hard to make the Golf up to 100kg lighter than its porky forebears.

This is something we’ll hear more and more manufacturers saying over the next couple of years as they realise that the easiest way to make cars cheaper to run is to stop making them so heavy.

VW spent a good 20 minutes of the press conference at its UK launch explaining how the engineers had shaved off slivers of weight by making components much thinner where they didn’t have to bear any load. They told us that one of the benefits of using more highstrength steel instead of the poxy normal stuff is that you can use less of it. Try and get your head round that one. Every single thing in the car has been examined in minute detail, to the point that this is the lightest Golf since the fourth-generation car in 1998. They’ve been getting porkier with every generation, but finally VW has put a halt to it.

The engineers even managed to save 6kg from the electrical system, which presumably means they chucked out all of the blue wires. About 7kg was saved on the front and rear seats (soon to be replaced with loose change and biscuit crumbs) and the firm even boasts 400g has been saved on the dashboard. Still, that’s 20%.

MQB

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The latest Golf is built on the Volkswagen Group’s MQB platform, which stands for Modularer Querbaukasten. It doesn’t make much more sense in English, with the catchy title of Modular Transverse Matrix, but what it means is that VW and all of its sister companies (Audi, Skoda and Seat) can use the same platforms for different purposes, cutting down on development costs. Many of the bits you can’t see under the metal have been standardised across the range of brands.

Gearboxes and engines and all sorts of other things can just slot in for a variety of different uses. In theory, everything from the Polo and Beetle up to the Passat and Sharan can be built on the same assembly line. The platform also makes it easier to introduce such wacky variants as natural gas or all-electric engines into the mix. Clever Volkswagen.

It drives a bit better

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It’s always been a case of getting a Ford Focus if you wanted any driving thrills, and to a certain extent that’s still true, but a combination of better drivetrain and substantial weight-saving means that the Golf is that weensy bit more fun to drive. You’ll have to wait a couple of years for the GTI model before finding a seventh-generation Golf that’s a genuine hoot to drive, but there’s some decent weight to the steering and an agility there that recent models didn’t have.

That said, Golfs are definitely more biased towards comfort. The impressive ride smothers imperfections in the road and annoyances like speed bumps are dispatched with nary a backward glance. Engine noise is impressively quiet, but the downside of this is that you notice wind and tyre noise that much more.

74mpg!

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Volkswagen claims 74.3mpg and 99g/km CO2 emissions for the 1.6-litre diesel-engined Golf, which is mightily impressive. In real-world driving you can expect to make the 60s if you drive sensibly, which is still pretty good, but we liked the 1.4-litre petrol with its turbocharger and cylinder deactivation, which is worth a 3mpg over a 1.4 without the tech fitted.

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Every Golf now comes with start-stop technology as standard, which means that the engine will switch off at a standstill once you’ve put the gearbox into neutral and fire up straight away as you press the clutch again. Motoring experts estimate you spend more than 10% of your journeys just idling and wasting fuel, so innovations like these aren’t to be sniffed at.

A low-fat Bluemotion version of the Golf will be coming soon and will have the usual eco accoutrements, such as low-resistance tyres, taller gearing and revised engine software. Volkswagen reckons it’ll get CO2 emissions as low as 85g/km with it.

Under the radar

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It seems that more and more fancy technology is being fitted to cheaper, mainstream cars that just a few years ago you would only expect to have found on truly pricey machinery, like the Mercedes SClass. One such example on the new Golf is its radar cruise control. Now, we could bore you rigid with the details behind this truly fascinating technology, but it opens up a whole new world of safety.

It means that when you’ve got the cruise control set on the motorway, the car will automatically brake so as not to hit the slower car in front. The technology can be used to prevent you drifting into another lane or across to the side of the road inadvertently, too. It also means you can spec a system like the Golf’s Emergency Braking package, which senses if you’re going to be in a crash at below 18mph and automatically hits the anchors to slow the car right down. Those lightning reaction speeds could be enough to make the difference.

Get the radar system to work in conjunction with the ESP and you get PreCrash preventative occupant protection, which detects when an accident is about to happen and tightens up the seatbelts and closes the windows so the airbags can work most effectively.

These are all systems you’d hope never to use, of course, but it helps you sleep better knowing they are there. That’s why you’ll need Volkswagen’s Driver Alert system, which detects when you’ve nodded off and sounds a particularly annoying five-second alarm and keeps going at intervals until you take a break.

It’s got heritage

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Nearly 40 years of history is impressive, and it basically means that you know what you’re getting. That’s not to say there’s been no innovation. Volkswagen had a 1994 Golf at the UK launch of its new car – fitted with stop-start and everything – just to prove it came up with the technology before anyone knew what it was. The old

fourth-generation car feels a world apart from the current offering, with masses of windows, thin pillars and the refinement of a combine harvester.

The stop-start technology is all the more remarkable for the fact that it turns the engine off whenever it can, not just when you’re stopped at the lights. The clutchless manual setup means you just move the gearstick to whichever gear you want the car to be in and the car does the rest. (Why can’t all manuals be that easy?). So the engine can be stopped and started at will, and you really notice the massive difference. One moment the pedals vibrate and the car hums with that old-fashioned diesel clatter, and the next all is calm and you hear the wind rushing past the window. At least, all is calm the seventh or eighth time you try it. The first few times you start to panic before realising this is supposed to happen.

The little details

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I always used to be able to tell a premium car apart from the rest because the grab handles above the doors were damped and moved slowly back to position when you let them go, instead of snapping loudly. Unfortunately, even the budget Korean brands have cottoned on to this and it’s damping a go-go.

THE GOLF IS ONE OF THE BEST ALL-ROUND CARS YOU CAN GET FOR YOUR MONEY. We have to look elsewhere nowadays for those refined touches. The controls on the touchscreen infotainment system (How did the discussion meeting for that particularly awful marketing neologism go? ‘It’s information. And entertainment. But combined!’) appear as your hand gets near to the screen, which is a nifty feature.

There are numerous other little details throughout the car that set it apart from more pedestrian efforts. We love the ambient lighting that appears at night, providing soft glows throughout the cabin in a variety of colours. From the summer you’ll be able to plug your mobile into a plug in the centre stowage bin and use the car’s aerial to boost your signal – now that’s some classy stuff right there. I

Perhaps the greatest driver of his generation, Sam Burnett is a Londonbased motoring writer, wit and conversationalist. He has previously worked in politics and the third sector, but definitely prefers flying around the world and testing cars. In his spare time he blogs, tweets and does other faddish things before losing interest.

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SIX OF THE BEST Polo Shirts

The polo shirt has been a staple of every man’s wardrobe since Lacoste popularised the style back in 1933. Particularly popular with golf and tennis players and fans, these shirts can be worn on the court/green or for the social gatherings that follow. In many ways, it is the polo shirt’s versatility that has made it such a continual success. Here is Sorted’s pick of the best.

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RRP £25 www.bench.co.uk

RRP £64 www.foxhalllondon.com

RRP £40 www.jacamo.co.uk

Bench

Foxhall

Voi Wyndham Polo Shirt

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5

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RRP £25 www.jacamo.co.uk

RRP £34.99 www.volcomeurope.com

RRP £35 www.shop.vans.co.uk

Flintoff By Jacamo Crest

Volcom

Vans

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TOP GEAR

The greatest gear, gadgets and gizmos we could find Salvador Bachiller Trolley Express Madera You don’t need to be Marco Polo or Magellan to appreciate a good piece of luggage. This amazing cargo-crate-style bag design will make you stand out from the crowd at the luggage carousel, and will attract the attention of airport staff for all the right reasons.

RRP from €90 www.salvadorbachiller.com

Tokyoflash Kisai Polygon Watch Twighlight Tracer This amazing light-up golf ball is the brightest thing to hit the fairway since Tiger Woods’ dazzling dentistry first appeared. It’s sure to save you money and man-hours as it’s almost impossible to lose! It’s a pro-quality golf ball (conforms with USGA and R&A rules) that flashes brightly upon impact, allowing you to see exactly where it’s headed. Great news for golfers who always need to look where they hook.

Like most watches in the clever Tokyoflash range, this innovative timepiece has a stainless steel case and clasp and an adjustable stainless band. Colour choices are black or silver, and faces are available in mirror, blue, or pink. In addition to the quirky time display, this watch also shows the date and has an alarm function.

RRP £80 www.toykoflash.com

RRP £6.49 www.firebox.com

Sorted.

TOP BUY Maui Jim Hideaways

K Pour Karité

These new Hideaways sunglasses deliver the renowned glare protection that comes from Maui Jim’s patented PolarizedPlus lens technology. This updated Aviator design features a pure titanium frame, which is just the job if you need durable, comfortable, high-performing sunglasses. These glasses are perfect for formal events or active casual. Lens treatments and frames are also saltwater safe.

This totally organic hair care and hair styling range for men has launched in the UK and Ireland, offering salon-quality products that are natural and chemicalfree. The main ingredient in its All Over Shampoo, Hair Scrub, Hair Loss Lotion and Strong Hold Gel is organic shea butter; a high-quality, natural ingredient with exceptional nourishing and softening properties.

RRP £216 www.mauijim.com

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RRP from £8.95-£26.55 www.kpourkarite.co.uk

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KitSound BoomDock This multi-award-winning docking station is the flagship of KitSound’s audio product range, producing outstanding levels of quality sound that you would normally only find on expensive, highend models. Advanced engineering allows for punchy bass and clear highs, meaning the BoomDock is perfect for people who appreciate good music.

RRP £100 www.kitsound.co.uk

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TOP BUY

Peli Protector Cases For more than 30 years, Peli has been manufacturing the toughest cases in the world. They’ve been thrown out of helicopters in Iraq, towed along frigid fjords in Norway and rolled over by SUVs in Tanzania. With only a few scratches to show on the outside, contents are left unscathed. Now you can own your own military-protection wallet and iPad case for yourself. Treat them kindly, lads.

RRP from €43.45 www.peliprogear.com

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Tracer Deluxe

Grippy Pads By some marvel of manufacturing (don’t ask), this advanced silicone material grips everything from iPads to Sat Navs. Just slap it on your dashboard and place your items on top. They’ll be held in place, as if by magic!

Resistant to water, high temperatures and sunlight, this pad will be perfectly at home on your dashboard.

RRP £6.99 www.firebox.com

The tracer deluxe offers the touch and feel of a fine writing instrument in a capacitive touch screen stylus. The soft and durable rubber tip will not scratch your screen and allows you to accurately draw and type with ease. It also includes a two-colour pen for note taking, and the detachable stylus tip also reveals screwdriver tools and a SIM card ejector pin.

RRP £24.95 www.stmbags.com

Deadmau5 Portable Speakers by KitSound Inspired by the superstar DJ’s iconic ‘mau5head’, this portable speaker features LED eyes that light up when connected to your music player. Its compact size makes it ultra-portable, but what’s surprising is that you’re not compromising on sound; especially when you use the Buddy Jack to connect two or more together. So you’ll have plenty of sound no matter where you are.

RRP £24.99 www.sonos.com Sorted. Mar/Apr 2013

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PETER HORNE

60 Second Life Coach

Whole New You 3

Boost your health in five seconds: stroke a cat or pat a dog. Time spent stroking and talking to animals increases endorphins, the feel-good chemicals in the brain, and decreases cortisone, the stress hormone that damages the immune system. In a future issue of Sorted, we’ll take a further look at the natural chemicals that circulate around our bodies, the impact they can have on our emotional state, and what action we can take to influence this.

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© Nyul | Dreamstime.com

L © Starblue | Dreamstime.com

ast year I finally joined the 21st century when my family funded the purchase of a Kindle ereader for my birthday. Like millions of other people in the modern world, I now enjoy the plethora of free books you can access, including countless classics where the copyright has expired. As a quick disclaimer, be aware that ownership of such devices is not always viewed positively – one of my good friends who works in a book shop instantly showed me the contempt she thought I deserved for contributing to the demise of her industry (she’s still my friend though)!

BOOST YOUR HEALTH IN FIVE SECONDS: STROKE A CAT OR PAT A DOG.

As Whole New You advocates in its introduction, the book offers a bundle of ideas that will make your life a bit more fun and successful. You just need to be stimulated enough to try them out! I

Putting aside such controversy for a moment, as a life coach I am always on the lookout for useful resources, especially where they can benefit people at little or no cost in these troubled economic times. Between mouthfuls of tasty turkey and moreish mince pies over the Christmas break, I browsed some of the freebie material available online and stumbled across a book entitled Whole New You: Change Your Life Day By Day published by Infinite Ideas. It contains 365 practical ideas on how to change your life for the better. Here are some of the ideas I liked and thought you might find useful:

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What’s the simplest way to add more healthy years to your life? Drink more water. Drink more than five glasses a day and you’ll apparently halve the risk of certain cancers.

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Don’t forget to chew! Unchewed food is hard to digest and its micronutrients pass through our systems. The less you chew your superfoods, the less their micronutrients are absorbed. Aim to chew each mouthful 15 times before swallowing. TV personality Paul McKenna incorporates this discipline as part of the process he advocates for losing weight.

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Peter Horne is a qualified life coach with a passion for helping people change stuff in their lives when they feel stuck. He works with individuals and organisations, and can be contacted at enquiries@therealyou.eu. Peter is married with four children and is a member of Arun Community Church in West Sussex.

© Amuzica | Dreamstime.com

If you ever have trouble getting to sleep at night, try listening to some Bach, Chopin or Beethoven prior to falling asleep. Research suggests that people who listen to classical music in bed fall asleep more easily and sleep better than people who watch TV or listen to other sorts of music. Another aid to good sleep is to take a hot bath before going to bed. If you climb out of the bath about an hour before getting into bed, the process of your body cooling down is good for helping to induce a soporific state!

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TERRY ECKERSLEY

HOW THE ECKERS-LEY?

BY JOY TIBBS

Setting the captive free

hen his dad died, 13-year-old Terry Eckersley lost control.

Having been a carefree child, he became an angry, hate-filled adolescent. Terry had been raised a Roman Catholic, but at this point he instantly rejected religion, feeling totally cheated and let down by God. He remembers hearing the tragic news on his return from school and the shock that hit him when it sank in.

“I remember slamming my bedroom door and the door of my heart,” he tells Sorted. “Once you feel you have nothing left to lose, you can transgress massive barriers.”

And that’s exactly what he did.

Terry embarked on a life of petty crime; shoplifting and vandalism in the first instance. But this soon escalated and soon the youngster was stealing cars and getting into all sorts of trouble. It wasn’t long before he became homeless and was placed in care by authorities in Greater Manchester. He was put on probation as part of a home trial placement in a family home and managed to return to school. Things started to look up and he managed to stay on the straight and narrow for a while.

He left Borstal in a worse state than when he went in, injecting drugs into “every vein” in his body, and carrying knives and guns around with him. “I never shot or killed anybody, though,“ Terry clarifies. He also allegedly started planning ways to defraud and rob a number of banks and was fully prepared to put them into action. Petty crime had gone out the window; Terry had graduated to bigger and far worse things. A few prison sentences later, he had served the equivalent of a life sentence.

Shortly before he got locked up, though, Terry had made a commitment to God. Aged 20 and rapidly going downhill, he knew he needed help. But there had been no major change in his life because he hadn’t fully realised what making that decision meant. “I didn’t realise what He [Jesus] had done for me,” he explains.

It wasn’t until he turned 28 that Terry finally realised what it meant to be a Christian, and at this point he had what he describes as a “very powerful conversion” experience. “I suddenly discovered that Jesus died for me and that He has a plan for me,” says Terry. Although he had been a serious altar boy growing up and was often trusted to give readings (until he was caught stealing f

W

“ONCE YOU FEEL YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE,YOU CAN TRANSGRESS MASSIVE BARRIERS.” When he left school, Terry got a job cleaning windows, but music was his real passion in life and he embraced the punk rock revolution wholeheartedly. He adopted the sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle without question and got back into the crime scene. He drove a nice car and had plenty of money to throw around, but it wasn’t long before the law caught up with him and he spent time behind bars at youth prison Borstal, which he describes as the “University of Crime”. “I’d always wanted to be a villain,” Terry admits.

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© Photowitch | Dreamstime.com

the Communion wine), he had never experienced the love of God or heard the gospel message before. He had simply recited the words he had been taught parrot fashion without letting any of it sink in.

As soon as the words he read in the gospel of Matthew and in 1 Corinthians 12 started to ring true, Terry’s life completely changed. He knew he couldn’t continue to go down the road he had been going down and he knew the only one who could save him was the God he had been hearing about. And not only was his own life about to change; he also made it his mission to share the good news he had received with anyone who would listen. He recalls standing outside nightclubs preaching to revellers, many of whom also ended up committing their lives to God.

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Community service He got involved with the local church and started doing voluntary work in his community. “In the process, God healed me powerfully of the scars the drugs had left me

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with,” Terry claims. He was also experiencing a great deal of guilt and shame about his past. But he started to take in the fact that he was forgiven of everything he had done and that he had a new, brighter future ahead of him. The anger he had felt after his father’s death could finally be dealt with.

In 2005, Terry forged close links with the YMCA and helped to establish the organisation’s first centre in Surrey. With his help and expertise, it has now opened ten centres in the area and employs more than 300 staff.

In fact, the work has been so successful it has attracted the attention of some pretty high-profile people – including the Queen! So when Terry received an invitation to visit Buckingham Palace, it was somewhat surreal. “I’d spent hours at Her Majesty’s pleasure, so it was huge!” Terry says. However, the experience was probably even stranger for his girlfriend at the time as he took her to the garden party on their very first date. It must have worked, as Jill married him almost five years ago and the couple have never looked back.

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TERRY ECKERSLEY © Dauf | Dreamstime.com

“GOD HEALED ME POWERFULLY OF THE SCARS THE DRUGS HAD LEFT ME WITH.” The doors of influence continued to open for Terry. He met a successful music producer, former Brotherhood of Man singer Barry Upton – who created Steps – and president of Anglo American Pictures Chris Barfoot, who has worked with Shane Richie and many other celebrities including Prunella Scales and The Artful Dodger’s Mark Hill. Terry’s love of music and the network he had established enabled him to set up Think Media Music, which provides music for television shows, films and advertising.

However, even before the company was up and running the requests were coming in. He met one of the producers of ITV’s Monkey Business series, who asked if the show could use the company’s music, and the Discovery Channel also bought the rights to certain tracks. “The music got played on massive shows before I’d even set the company up!” Terry reveals. “I had had the vision over ten years ago; I knew libraries of music were going to be online.”

Throwing the book at him Having turned his life around, impacted his community, achieved a professional diploma in Housing and a postgraduate certificate and diploma in Business Administration, set up his own music business and married the woman of his dreams, it was about time for Terry to retire. Only joking… he’s only just starting out!

Not only does he travel around the world speaking to

congregations and charities, he has also penned a number of books, including The True Apprentice and Born Ready.

The True Apprentice describes the steps Terry believes readers should take to become faithful followers of Jesus.

Divided into six sections, it offers practical advice, entertaining stories, Bible references and a series of challenging questions to end each section. It can be used as a Bible study for private devotions, or as notes for church small groups. A copy has even ended up in the hands of Nick Clegg via the YMCA’s free information packs. Let’s hope he reads it! I

Born Ready recently launched and is a personal account of Terry’s life. It documents his struggles with drugs and brushes with the law, as well as the salvation experience that allowed him to leave the past behind. Endorsed by Sorted columnist and excellent speaker J John, it is not to be missed. Visit http://terryeckersley.co.uk /the-store to get your copy!

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COMMANDO DAD

New career shaping up

THE REAL DADDY DAY CARE

BY JOY TIBBS

D

uring his varied career, Neil Sinclair has been a Royal Engineer Commando, a PE teacher, a security guard for the UN in New York and a PCSO in the Metropolitan Police Service. So what’s the most difficult role he’s ever undertaken? Fatherhood, by a long stretch!

According to Neil, bringing his first son home from the hospital for the first time was the scariest thing he had ever done.

Neil joined the army straight from school, serving for six years in total. The training was rigorous and the work itself – which included tours in Norway, Iraq and Belize – presented daily challenges. As a youngster, being away from home was the biggest struggle, particularly as he came from such a nurturing family. But he had grown up deliberately putting himself into challenging situations to see how he would cope. Looking back, he describes this as a “brilliant time”.

“I had wanted to be a soldier since I was about four,” he explains. “It was all I ever wanted to be from as early as I can remember. I was fascinated with the army and being a soldier. I applied when I was about 12 and was told I needed to wait a few more years! Where it came from I’m not too sure, really.”

The Commando course alone lasted 11 weeks and while around 140 went for it, only 36 passed. Neil was among those who did and his prize for pushing through the pain was the honour of wearing the much-coveted Green Beret. “When you’re working with elite forces, it’s a constant challenge; that’s one of the reasons it was so attractive to me,” he says.

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When he joined the forces, Neil had hoped to become a Physical Training Instructor (PTI), but unfortunately about 50% of his fellow Commandos had the same idea and positions were limited. So when he left the army, he decided to achieve that dream by teaching physical exercise.

Despite having skipped A-levels to join the army, Neil was accepted onto a university teaching course on the strength of his experience and the qualifications he had earned as a carpenter and joiner. He spent four “wonderful” years training to become a PE teacher.

“When I got into schools I really enjoyed it and had a good rapport with the kids,” recalls Neil.

And he obviously had a good rapport with his fellow teachers, too, because he met his wife Tara at his first teaching post. He told her about his time in Norway and climbing Mount Kenya, which contrasted greatly with her experience, as she had gone straight to university and then into teaching. She decided to take up a new career in PR and when she was offered an interview with Burson-Marsteller in New York, they were both excited.

Tara was offered the job, but in the meantime, Neil had been offered a job in Slough. Manhattan or Slough, they wondered for a brief moment before snapping up the New York offer. Fortunately, Neil was able to get a job as a security officer at the UN. While the role would normally require a high level of clearance, his time in the army opened all the necessary doors. The couple settled in New York and had their first two children – Samuel and Jude – across the pond.

Eventually, they decided to return to the UK. They planned to have one stay-at-home parent and one breadwinner. “We made a pact that the first one to get a job, the other would stay home,” Neil says. “My wife always says that she cheated in some ways as she started her own business!”

When their third child, Liberty, was about 18 months old, Neil started training as a childminder. This enabled him to spend plenty of time with his own three, but also to look after other people’s children. There was a financial benefit, but it was also great for his daughter to have children her age to play with. Furthermore, three of the children he looked after were being raised by single mums, so he was able to demonstrate to them and their children that men could be nurturers too. “There was a really good dynamic,” says Neil. “I think the mums really appreciated that.”

“WHEN I WAS A NEW DAD, I HAD NO PARENTING SKILLS; THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE ARMOURY TO FALL BACK ON.” Neil has been a stay-at-home dad for around 11 years now, and when he started out there was good deal of cynicism about guys that wanted to stay at home with their children, not to mention those who chose to become childminders. “It still goes on today,” he claims, “but there are far more stay-at-home dads now. I was often the only dad dropping the kids off at school, but now that’s changed. It is still pretty rare to see a male childminder though.

“But being a stay-at-home dad and a childminder are both incredibly rewarding experiences. I love being with children. I’ve got my own children and I’ve also been a teacher and a scout leader. And there are a lot of men out there that feel the same, but there is still a perception that men maybe aren’t as competent in these roles as women. I spoke to a few hands-on dads just last week and even now they are looked at with suspicion by some people. We need to challenge these perceptions.”

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COMMANDO DAD

A little help here?

It was while he was still childminding that Neil wrote his first book, Commando Dad: Basic Training. The strapline for the book is: “How to be an elite dad or carer; birth to three years”, and the content is based on his own experience of fatherhood, particularly the first time around. “The idea came out of fear and ignorance,” Neil explains. He recalls trying to negotiate a car seat with a two-day-old baby in his arms.

“I put my little boy down hoping my wife had visited the stork of knowledge,” he says. “I had no clue. We had two degrees between us but no idea about being parents.

I could have delivered my own son, I knew so much about childbirth, but I hadn’t given much thought to actually having a child at home. If someone offered me £1 million to redo the first six weeks, I’d say no chance! It was a nightmare.”

His time as a Commando did nothing to prepare him for the shock of having a child to take care of. “If I was in a minefield or being shot at by a sniper, I followed my training and methodically did what I knew needed to be done. But when I was a new dad, I had no parenting skills; there was nothing in the armoury to fall back on,” he says.

Military precision After six weeks of this, Neil had had enough. He asked himself how he could make parenting easier and more enjoyable. He decided to apply some of his military training and came up with a series of standard operating procedures (SOPs). As a result, tasks such as nappy changes became much more streamlined.

Neil says: “I would do the same thing every time. If I was changing a nappy I would find a stable changing surface and have the nappy laid out. The wipes would be there with the powder and cream. I then squared it away and got really skilled at it. Then you can vary it when you’re out and about – I could do a nappy change on my lap after a bit of practice.”

He applied this same process to sterilising Samuel’s bottles and burping him; all of the daily tasks that had been grinding him down. He soon found that bringing some order and planning to the process really made his fatherhood experience more enjoyable. Gone were mistakes such as leaving the house without nappies, because bag-packing was all part of the process. “I had a checklist,” he says. “I would leave a bag next to the door so if I needed to leave in a hurry, I had everything in there.” The days of tearing his hair out soon became a thing of the past.

“What underpins Commando Dad is being prepared,” Neil explains. “I’ve written the book I wish I’d had when I was a first-time dad.” The book deals with the ‘due to deploy’ period (six weeks prior to the birth), preparing ‘base camp’, surviving the first 24 hours (skills such as changing, feeding and burping the baby trooper) and a range of other critical issues such as maintaining morale, entertaining and transporting the troops, potty training and dealing with tantrums.

Unlike many other parenting books, which tell you what you should be doing at precisely 11am on the third day of the fifth week, Commando Dad isn’t prescriptive.

It simply offers tips and advice on how to handle the issues that arise and how to prepare for them. The only section that specifically tells readers what they must do is the first aid segment. “All the rest is based on my experience as a stay-at-home dad and a childminder.

“There are no case studies, pictures of other people’s smiling babies or statistics. It just tells a dad everything that he needs to do. It helps a dad get all the admin squared away so that he can spend time with his baby trooper.”

As his own children approach their teenage years – Samuel is now 11 – Neil is about to face some new challenges. “My only experience of teenagers is from the

perspective of being a teacher,” he says. “It’s so different being a parent; them being yours, everything changes.”

Another issue is dealing with the different genders. “My wife is always telling me off because I treat Liberty differently from the boys, and hand on heart I probably do,” he admits.

The right kind of father Perhaps Neil will write a manual for fathering older children at some point. In the meantime, he is doing his best and relying on God’s help to raise his children well.

His own parents were Salvation Army officers for 25 years before Neil’s father became a Church of England vicar, so faith was at the centre of family life while he was growing up and this is still the case in his own family.

Neil says: “You can see it in the way the children interact with each other. We try to make sure they realise that being Christlike is about being kind to people… even if your brother is driving you nuts!

“The most important thing for me is to be a good role model. When my children are my age I want them to think fondly of me; not as someone who was a disciplinarian and didn’t give them the time of day, but as someone who was kind. If I have to discipline them, I want them to know it was done in kindness. I can’t say I always get it right, but I always aspire to.

“If I make a mistake I try to admit it and apologise.

Being a role model, if they see me admitting my mistakes, they can hopefully model that as well. I want my children to leave my home and be good, functioning people that give back to society and enjoy being who they are. I want them to have high self-esteem more than an amazing job or basing their views of themselves on other people’s opinions of them. With self-esteem comes confidence and the knowledge that they can achieve whatever they want to.

“I don’t know if I can deliver all this – I’m scaring myself a bit! But nothing worth achieving is easy.”

Neil’s parting advice is that new parents should be prepared to make mistakes. These, he says, are inevitable, and rather than beating ourselves up about mistakes, we should learn from them. I

If you’re about to become a dad or know someone who is, make sure you get hold of Commando Dad! Visit www.commandodad.com for more information and to bag yourself a copy.

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24/7 PRAYER

BRINGING SOMETHING TOTHEPARTY

BY BRIAN HEASLEY, GB NATIONAL DIRECTOR OF 24-7 PRAYER

F

© Tamas | Dreamstime.com

or the last eight years, I have lived on the party island of Ibiza. The reason that I lived there with my family was to head up and develop the work of a Christian charity called 24-7 Prayer. We were based in San Antonio working in an area called The West End, which at one point had the most pubs, bars and clubs per square mile in the whole of Europe! Our team spent from midnight to five in the morning wandering the streets. We coordinated with bar owners, police and health services to help people home, deal with drunks, bring peace and offer to pray with people. It has been an interesting way to help and serve in a particularly British overseas environment. The strangest thing was having the opportunity to pray with people who had basically come on holiday to have a good time, catch some sun and get drunk.

request, and the last thing we wanted to do was be preachy. If I’m honest, even though I am a Christian and I believe in the power of prayer, I was actually surprised when many of these guys said yes!

Once they agreed to let us pray, we would ask people what they wanted prayer for and proceed to write out the prayer requests, or we would just go for it then and there on the street. That’s how we have operated every summer for the last eight years. Praying with hundreds of people on holiday. You have to be prepared for anything when you ask a few lads who are out on the lash what their prayer request is! Every year we always received comedy requests, like guys asking for bigger penises or sad football supporters asking that we pray for Leicester to win the FA cup. However, once we got beyond these funny moments, people would often have very serious, deep and heart-rending prayer requests.

I guess men find it quite hard to be open about what is truly on their minds. Maybe with the help of alcohol and the relaxed state of being on holiday on a warm, Mediterranean island, we caught them off guard. All sorts of guys became vulnerable very quickly about what was truly bothering them. They would want us to pray for sick friends or dead relatives, and there would be requests for jobs and partners. Others would want protection from themselves and the extreme lifestyles they lived. It was challenging but rewarding to be with people as they took the time to stop and talk to God in the midst of alcohol-fueled madness. Even if people were a little bewildered it was great to see that they held out hope that maybe there was a God who would listen, step in and help.

Never wanting to miss an opportunity, we would often approach men on stag dos and ask to pray for the groom.

This can be a bit challenging. Approaching 12 guys in Borat thongs asking them if anyone needs prayer can occasionally lead to more comedy than you really need!

Although once you cut through the banter, you will find that guys going through this major life change are almost always filled with uncertainty and nerves about the next step.

Three such guys we approached one night were dressed as Batman, Superman and Spiderman, but they had lost the rest of their superhero posse! We got chatting to them and asked if we could pray for the groom (Spiderman). He said yes. Before we knew it, all three of them had knelt down in the street. This is not something that normally happens, so we knelt with them among the spilt beers, chaos and noise, and we prayed. We prayed blessing on the marriage, asked that God would smile on the groom and that he would have a happy, secure, loving and hope-filled future. At the end of the prayer, Spiderman was in tears. I always knew he was the weakest superhero! f

YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING WHEN YOU ASK A FEW LADS WHO ARE OUT ON THE LASH WHAT THEIR PRAYER REQUEST IS! Most summers we would end up praying out on the streets for more than 1,000 people. These people would not normally go to church and many wouldn’t call themselves Christians. A vast majority of the people we prayed for would be men. It was very simple. We would walk around The West End helping people and chatting to them and, when we saw an opportunity, we would approach these guys and ask if they had anything we could pray about. If they said no, we would smile and walk away. This approach wasn’t a hard sell, just a polite

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24/7 PRAYER

Life changes are always good moments to pray; times to pray for blessing, for hope and for security. Another area we would pray a lot with guys about was guilt. We found that people are often racked with a sense of regret and shame about something they did – or didn’t do – in the past. We met a man who was serving in the army. His friend had just come back from his first tour in Afghanistan and had been extremely anxious about going back. The friend had asked this guy to break his leg so he could avoid going overseas again. This guy refused and his mate went back to Afghanistan and was killed. The guilt and sense of regret this guy felt was incredible. He said it had been gnawing away at him and that even alcohol couldn’t mask it anymore. We were able to sit and pray for this man, but what can you pray?

There is never an easy answer. We find that all prayer begins with listening, so we found a quiet spot to sit and listen to this guy. Just through verbalising his guilt there appeared to be some healing. It was weird for this man, but in talking to us – just random strangers – and sharing a hidden part of his thought life, this guy felt a lift in his spirits!

When we eventually did get round to praying for him, we prayed for peace. In a world of noise that gives little time for reflection on our consciences, peace is what we need. We can’t change what has happened, but we do need peace to accept and deal with the past. I certainly couldn’t change what had happened to this guy, but I could pray that God would meet him in his pain. I could pray that God would bring peace to his troubled mind.

We also asked God for forgiveness. Although this guy had done nothing wrong, he needed to forgive himself.

He needed to feel a sense of forgiveness.

Other guys we met also needed to ask for forgiveness for wrong stuff they had done. We encouraged them to go and right the wrong. Some needed to forgive people who had hurt them. We only scratched the surface with our short prayers, but still hope that they catalysed the start of a healing process.

Another area that we regularly found guys wanted to talk to us about was fear. I remember meeting a giant of a man on the streets. When I offered him prayer he thought it was a lovely idea. The only problem was that he was high on ecstasy. We spent quite a bit of time with

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this man until he eventually arrived at a point of clarity.

He then called his mate over and insisted we all hold hands in the middle of the street. It looked like a weird ecstasy-fuelled prayer group!

I asked the man what he wanted prayer for and he said: “I want to outlive my mother.” I didn’t need to be a prophet to work out that this man was frightened of dying. So I asked if he was frightened of death. He said he was. I was looking for the question behind the question, as I know that guys don’t tend to be upfront about their fears. We stood in our circle with various drunks bumping into us and other people looking at us.

We prayed that God would remove the fear from this man’s life. We prayed God would come and take away the irrationality.

You’ll find there is fear at the back of most men’s minds. A fear of death, a fear of rejection, a fear of catching a disease, a fear of losing someone or even a fear of never finding someone!

Fear is a private inhibitor that paralyses us. It paralyses us with one main thought: “No one else feels this way; it’s only me.” Fear isolates and isolation becomes the fertile soil in which fear grows. When people share their fear and bring it out in the open, perhaps allowing someone to pray for them, the isolation disappears and things begin to change. Things that hold us captive in the dark lose all power when they are brought into the light.

Prayer sheds light on fear.

If it is fear you are struggling with right now, I pray that by naming it out loud and bringing it into the light, this fear will diminish and new hope will grow.

Life changes… Guilt… Fear… Are these the only times we should pray?

Someone once said: “There are no atheists in trenches.”

I doubt that this phrase is true. I expect that there are atheists in trenches. I respect a man’s ability to fight for a cause and face his fear without any belief in a higher power. Yet it does seem that we default to praying only when the going gets tough, or when we are faced with challenging times or fresh adventures.

In reality, prayer can be so much more than a salve for difficult and challenging moments. Prayer is meant to be a conversation between us and our Maker. Conversations don’t tend to revolve solely around difficult times. They tend to be about the ongoing stuff of life. In Ibiza, we would often find ourselves chatting to people about the mundane and normal things of life. We encouraged people to bring God into their jobs, relationships, finances, families, health, dreams and hopes; the stuff that we all think about. People often responded with: “We can’t pray for that! God has more important things to be worrying about than me and my everyday, ordinary life!”

We say in return: “God is interested in you, He knows your name and He knows your story.”

People all want to be known at a deeper level. We need to know that our lives matter. There is a great passage from a Psalm in the Bible that speaks about this: “You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain” (Psalm 139:1-6).

In the midst of all that we did in Ibiza, we were constantly struck by the fact that we believed God was “familiar with all our ways”. If that was true, then why not bring him into the everyday conversations?

Why not talk to God about all your ways? No special language is needed, no special place is needed; you can speak to him on your own and you don’t even have to speak out loud, kneel or clasp your hands.

It’s a conversation worth having. I

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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ANTHONY HOPKINS

An Act of Faith What do The Silence of the Lambs, The Elephant Man, Dracula, The Mask of Zorro and Nixon have in common? They all star the hugely talented Sir Anthony Hopkins, of course. We all know he has taken on some exceptional roles during his incredible career, but what of the man behind the mask?

BY DUNCAN WILLIAMS AND JOY TIBBS

S

ir Anthony Hopkins remains one of this country’s greatest exports to the international film world. He started out as a shy kid from Wales who thought that he might try his hand at emulating the path trodden by fellow Welshman Richard Burton. What resulted in this quest has been a career as a stage and screen actor of undisputed greatness in his own right. Here, in an exclusive for Sorted, the real ‘Tony’ Hopkins talks openly about what makes him tick, his influences and his faith in God.

‘ACTING AND HOLLYWOOD WERE A WORLD AWAY FROM PORT TALBOT, BUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I THOUGHT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE.’

worker, a local baker, and my greatest hero today – as a matter of fact, worried about me a lot, [he] thought I might be backward. He told me I needed to get out there, mix with other kids and make friends. But I was this shy kid who always wanted a brother. I loved the movies and the escapism of the cinema. Acting and Hollywood were a world away from Port Talbot, but in the back of my mind I thought maybe, just maybe.

How influential was Richard Burton in your rise to fame?

Burton was, and still is, hugely regarded in Wales. One of the greats; truly one of the greats. He and Elizabeth [Taylor] were in Port Talbot at one time during the height of their fame. He was visiting his sister, I think, and I was about 15 when I met him… [I was] very impressed, just by example; [he was] very encouraging.

Just before they left, I saw them together getting into a large car. Elizabeth looked back and smiled at me, caught my eye. I watched them drive off and thought, he’s done it, by God he’s made it, and if he can do it then there’s hope for me… I thought I’d follow my nose, follow my luck. And I think I’ve been very lucky.

Growing up in Port Talbot, did you ever dream of becoming a world-famous actor?

How did your time at the Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama shape you as an actor?

I had dreams, yes, of course I did. And I always wanted to be in the movies. In fact, I was what you might call something of a daydreamer at school; couldn’t concentrate, a shy kid, bit of a loner. And I was lousy in school. I was antisocial and didn’t bother with the other kids… A real screw-up, a moron. I didn’t know what I was doing there.

That’s why I became an actor. My father – a hard

I joined a community drama group at the age of 17 while staying at the local YMCA. It was the mid-’50s and I knew it was a good idea to meet other actors, make friends, get on the path to a career. It was my springboard really, starting out in Wales, and I always recommend young actors to find their feet [and] ask themselves: “Is this for me?” f

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ANTHONY HOPKINS Did you ever suffer from nerves as a youngster?

What has been your favourite role to-date?

Oh yes. Many actors say they get into this profession because they are basically shy people. Maybe [it’s] true; maybe [it’s] the case for many of us. But I used to get very anxious, angry too. There have to be some emotions to draw upon, to wrestle with. I’ve not got too many demons nowadays and try not to take myself too seriously.

Burt Munro in the 2005 film The World’s Fastest Indian.

[I] blank everything else out, forget everything… I’m not what you’d call a method actor; I just don’t forget the lines.

What were the most important lessons you learnt as Laurence Olivier’s understudy and protégé?

One of your most famous roles is Hannibal Lecter.

Why do you think this was such a success, and how great an impact has it had on your career?

Confidence. He was very gifted; very generous with what he said. He once wrote: “A new young actor in the company of exceptional promise named Anthony Hopkins was understudying me and walked away with the part of Edgar like a cat with a mouse between its teeth.” He taught me to believe in myself.

He was the right anti-hero for the time. When I first heard the title The Silence of the Lambs, I thought it was going to be a children’s film. Then I read the script and I had this kind of instant premonition that this was going to be something big. The character of Lecter came to me surrounded by light. It was my calling card to Hollywood.

Who were your main heroes and influences?

How did it feel to play Alfred Hitchcock in the recently released film about the great director?

My father. As mentioned, Burton and Olivier are both up there too. Oh yes, and Tommy Cooper – Just Like That – a comedy genius. Still makes me laugh just thinking about Tommy.

How did you get into the film world?

Everett Collection/Rex Features

I didn’t want to end up ponsing around the West End and I wanted to be in the movies. I wanted to prove I could do it; get to the top of my game, live the dream. In 1968, I got my big break in The Lion in Winter playing Richard I along with Peter O’Toole and Katie Hepburn. It was a godsend. I took all the offers that came along. I like work, the money. If they ask me and I like the script, the people, [and it has] good directors (I have worked with some difficult directors – no names, no back talk – and I avoid them), but if it all feels right, a challenge, I do it.

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How do you get into and stay in character so well?

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I thought that would be a challenge. Hitch was a complex personality, so I decided to just jump in. As a director he was such a master of putting on screen things that made you uneasy. Somebody once asked him what frightened him most, and he said the police. He came from a poor background. I think he understood those fears.

He hated the thought of sudden violence, he was always wanting to be in control, and his films reflect that at any moment it can happen: your life is in control and then BAM! He had such simpatico with the audience.

And he was such a romantic, trapped in that obese body but appreciating beautiful women. We gather from biographies that he and his wife had a business arrangement, but we don’t know.

He wasn’t an easy man. Janet Leigh said she had fun

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ANTHONY HOPKINS

The Original Anti-Hero

By Martin Leggatt “What springs to mind when I say Anthony Hopkins?” I asked my wife. “Hannibal Lecter” came the reply, quick as a flash.

His Oscar-winning performance as the cannibalistic psychiatrist – an incarcerated serial killer of high manners and even higher intellect – is certainly up there. It was a breakthrough performance that set a new precedent for movie villains, although Lecter is more of, albeit a very extreme type, a classic anti-hero.

The character should be utterly repugnant and yet we find ourselves routing for him in his escape from justice. This is mainly due to Hopkins’ interpretation of Thomas Harris’ excellently written character. It would have been so easy to turn the character into some kind of pantomime villain.

In fact, it wasn’t until I started compiling this list that I realised how prolific an actor Hopkins has been. Away from Lecter, Hopkins has made a habit of playing powerful men. His roles as academic and Narnia author ‘Jack’ Lewis in Shadowlands; the emotionally repressed Stevens in The Remains of the Day; and Bram Stoker’s prototype vampire hunter Van Helsing in Coppola’s excellent, perhaps definitive, screen incarnation of Dracula are all standout performances from a particularly purple patch he produced during the nineties.

However, the first time I saw Hopkins on the big screen was in Richard Attenborough’s epic war movie A Bridge Too Far as eccentric British Army officer Lt Col John Frost. He captured the mixture of eccentricity and incredible bravura of Frost’s character perfectly; a man who used a hunting horn to marshal his men on the battlefield and ultimately refused to surrender despite overwhelming odds.

going to his house because he was such a practical joker.

Once an actress told him that this was her best side, and he responded by saying: “My dear, you’re sitting on your best side.”

He told Tony Perkins: “Don’t worry about motivation, my camera will tell you what to do.” Tony Perkins asked if he could chew candy on set, and Hitchcock said: “You can do whatever you like, my boy.” Everyone liked working with him. He didn’t say much as a director, but he was clear and supportive.

What would you say are the biggest challenges for an actor – career-wise and on a personal level?

These roles were followed up with the gargantuan task of playing larger-than-life former President Richard Nixon in Oliver Stone’s Nixon; a very charismatic turn as ‘the father of Cubism’ Pablo Picasso in Surviving Picasso; Shakespearean anti-hero Titus in Titus Andronicus; and, more recently, as the father of screen thrillers Alfred Hitchcock in Hitchcock, and his forthcoming incarnation as biblical patriarch Methusalah in Noah.

Along the way, he has found time to play Odin, Ptolemy and Zorro. One thing is for certain: Sir Anthony isn’t one for playing the shrinking violets.

Staying right-sized, Keeping it in the day. Avoiding expectations; avoid expectations and you avoid disappointment.

It has been documented that you overcame a problem with alcohol in 1975 with God’s help.

Does faith play an important part in your life?

It was like being possessed by a demon, an addiction, and I couldn’t stop. And millions of people around are like that. I could not stop. I was hell bent on destruction and I just asked for a little bit of help, and suddenly – POW! It was just like, bingo!

‘I WAS IN HELL. THEN IT WAS OVER. IT WAS LIKE A GREAT PILOT LIGHT WAS LIT. NO EXPLANATION EXCEPT, I GUESS, I WAS OPEN, WILLING AND READY.’ I was in Hollywood in the early mid-’70s, going mad. I was seeing visions of Christ walking down the beach by the Pacific coast. I was drinking tequila like water, f

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ANTHONY HOPKINS

You’re involved in a number of philanthropic endeavours. Why is it important to you to give something back to society?

‘A’ helps ‘B’ and ‘A’ benefits. It’s the best deal in town. I am a patron of the RAPt charity and a few other things.

RAPt is [a] pioneer in offering addiction rehabilitation to prisoners, an agenda that is now in the news. I’ve been lucky, it’s been an amazing journey so far and it doesn’t hurt to give a bit back. [For more information see www.rapt.org.uk.]

What are your hopes and dreams for 2013?

I am the happiest I have been for a long while, [it] gets better and better. I would like to spend more time with Stella, my wife, and maybe visit Wales for a bit longer.

Full circle really; take a look at how the old place has changed, have a laugh.

An old friend of mine used to say: “You know, Tony, you can tell if you’ve had a good day if you’ve had a bit of a larf – you’ve got to have a larf!” he always used to say to me… I

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hallucinating, it was all coming to the end. I was at the jumping-off point, not too tightly wrapped and desperate for help. I called out…

For me, giving it [alcohol] up was finding the airlock, the escape hatch. It was as if a voice said: “Ready! Go!” It was that clear; the voice of gold. The best part of myself, my subconscious, came to rescue me. I don’t know how. I had no religious connection or a connection to what I thought was God. I was in hell. Then it was over. It was like a great pilot light was lit. No explanation except, I guess, I was open, willing and ready. When I look back I think I was so lucky to get out of that one. It was all about fear and horror. Definitely the horror – I was going down the plughole.

I believe my higher power, God, got me out of that one. I still say the Serenity Prayer a lot… It’s a good one to remember: God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

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TOILET TWINNING

Don’t Poo-Poo the Idea of Toilet Twinning

BY LOUISE THOMAS

litres of raw sewage dumped into it every minute: that’s more than the capacity of an Olympic swimming pool!

That adds up to a whole lot of potential illness.

If the only place you have to defecate happens to be the only place you can wash, water your livestock and draw drinking water, disease and death are inevitably stalking you and your family; lurking in every bucket and droplet.

Worldwide, 40% of people are without a safe, clean, hygienic place to go to the loo. We can send machines to Mars to detect dried-up streams, but we haven’t achieved decent universal sanitation: that’s got to be a scandal.

In the UK today, we take flush toilets for granted. But in Medieval days, waste was often thrown out of upstairs windows, hopefully preceded by a shout of ‘gardyloo’. By Tudor times, night soil collectors removed human excrement from privies and cesspits. In London, this waste was often dumped into the Thames or piled up in mounds, such as the ironically named Mount Pleasant.

Modern sewage systems began to be built in the UK in the 19th century, spurred on partly by the discovery of a link between cholera and water supply. The ‘Great Stink’ of 1858 provided another reason: sewage dumped in the Thames had become so smelly it got right up the noses of the nation’s lawmakers in the Houses of Parliament.

Funnily enough, a bill to provide a massive new sewage system for the capital was speedily enacted. Around 318 million bricks were used to build the underground channels needed to remove the excreta of London’s two million people. Much of this system, with some extensions, still serves London’s modern-day population of eight million.

Of course, this is a very UK-centric view. Many ancient peoples, including the capable Greeks and Romans, had some form of sewage system. The book of Deuteronomy, written before 1,000BC, laid down what is thought to be the first sanitary instruction: “As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement” (Deuteronomy 23:13). But with the fall of the

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ou wake up dying for a pee. You stumble out of bed and into the bathroom, sleep still in your eyes. Job done… Now imagine yourself in a remote area of the world, perhaps starring in an episode of Bear Grylls’ Born Survivor. There isn’t a toilet in sight. You’re only there for a few days, so you can just about get by. And there’s probably a handy rock or tree to hide your bare behind behind. At least you didn’t forget to pack the double-quilted, aloe-veraimpregnated bathroom tissue.

DISEASE AND DEATH ARE INEVITABLY STALKING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY; LURKING IN EVERY BUCKET AND DROPLET.

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But what if this lack of sanitary facilities isn’t part of a TV programme or a short-term adventure, but a daily reality? What if your morning challenge is to pick your barefooted way – holding your nose – through other people’s faeces to find somewhere cleanish and hopefully slightly private to do what comes all too naturally? Not so much fun.

Thirty-year-old Aeylech Tomas from Ethiopia sums up the hazards. “Because people still go to the toilet in the bush, there is a bad smell, and flies come and pass on diseases,” she says. “I feel sad; this is not a good life.”

Meanwhile, welcome to India, where more people have access to televisions, refrigerators and mobile phones than basic sanitation, and where railway tracks have been dubbed the largest open toilet in the world. The mighty River Ganges has 1.1 million

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Below left: Victor Lahai A boy collecting water from a muddy pond in Ethiopia, which is also used by livestock. People have to use the pond for drinking water as the nearest safe source is a long distance away.

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Roman Empire, much knowledge was lost and sanitation reverted back to basics: chamber pots, privies, cesspools and open defecation.

Many people in poor communities overseas today find themselves with a similar lack of facilities and, while frequently desperate for change, they are often unsure how to achieve it. That’s where Toilet Twinning comes in.

So let’s imagine for a moment that you’ve stepped out of the limelight on the Bear Grylls programme, and are working instead as an unsung facilitator for a water, sanitation and hygiene programme overseas, funded by Toilet Twinning.

THREE CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF FIVE DIE EVERY MINUTE BECAUSE OF DIRTY WATER AND POOR SANITATION. THOSE LUCKY ENOUGH TO SURVIVE TO SCHOOL AGE CAN OFTEN ONLY MANAGE PATCHY ATTENDANCE.

Building latrines in the DRC

You could load up your truck with ready-constructed latrines – those portable loos that turn up at festivals – and, after a long, exhausting journey, fetch up at a remote village. Deliver the goods. Go home.

But what would happen when the rainy season undermined the latrine foundations or it quickly became full or needed repairs? The community might be somewhat bewildered by these plastic modules in their midst. Without any real sense of ownership, people could easily feel disempowered or that their dignity was impaired. Old habits, such as using the river or the bush for defecation, might die hard.

It would seem that your well-meant idea might not have hit the mark. Changing attitudes and behaviour are key and will last longer than dumping equipment on an unsuspecting community. That’s why Toilet Twinning wants you to work with local people to find out what they want and inspire them to action.

Before you go any further, let’s just size up the problem.

What exactly is wrong with a bit of poo lying around… it’s just compost, really isn’t it? Well, treated in the right way it could become compost, but random piles of faeces are nothing short of a serious health hazard.

A single gram of human faeces can contain ten million

Below right: A latrine built using locally-available materials in Sierra Leone

viruses, one million bacteria and 100 parasite eggs. Left out in the open, these are a primary source of sickness such as diarrhoea, dysentery, polio and a bewildering variety of worm infestations. And that’s not all; water contaminated by faeces and urine can cause a host of other illnesses, such as bilharzia, liver fluke and cholera. Unwashed hands (well, how do you wash your hands if you have little access to water and soap?) transmit germs to the mouth. That irritating fly?

It doesn’t discriminate between faeces and food, landing happily on both, turn and turnabout.

Unsurprisingly, children pay the highest price for all this: the World Health Organization estimates that three children under the age of five die every minute because of dirty water and poor sanitation. Those lucky enough to survive to school age can often only manage patchy attendance; hundreds of millions of school days are lost each year due to diarrhoea alone, and an estimated one in three school-aged children in the developing world is infested with intestinal worms.

Overall, poor sanitation and drinking water cause a massive 80% of sickness in the developing world. Tenyear-old Israel Letamo from Ethiopia often has to drink from a muddy pond and frequently has diarrhoea. His dream is that one day he can have clean water all the time.

“I want good water; I so want it here soon,” he says.

Your role as facilitator is clearly an important one, as Victor Lahai from Nianyahun in Sierra Leone knows. He’s the community head f

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Interior of a latrine in Uganda

Hand washing

employed in latrine building. The point is, the materials do not have to be expensive. They can be locally sourced, easily repaired and ‘owned’ by the community.

And in case you were thinking your job was quite easy, don’t forget you have to know the difference between a single-pit, sealed-lid latrine, a twin-pit ventilated latrine, a pour-flush single-pit offset and so on! How to choose which to use? It’s your job to get the people thinking about answers to questions such as: is there water for flushing? Can you dig down or will you hit rock? Do you want to reuse the composted poo for soil fertiliser? This will help your community decide which latrine type is for them.

PEOPLE ARE EMPOWERED TO HELP THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER, KNOWING THAT UNLESS THEY STOP GOING TO THE TOILET IN THE OPEN, THE RISKS OF DISEASE WILL REMAIN FOR EVERYONE IN THE COMMUNITY. Don’t put your feet up just yet. A nice clutch of new latrines is really only part of the job. Recent research in the UK revealed what we probably all knew already: eight-year-old boys have the dirtiest hands! And that’s with running water, soap and towels readily available. You’ve not only got small boys but a whole village to educate if disease and death rates are going to be cut.

It’s no good leaving a box of soap behind. What happens when it runs out and nobody can afford to buy any more? So again, see what is available locally; this could be ash or sand instead of soap. Luckily, too, you remembered to bring pictures showing links between poo, flies, food, unwashed hands and sickness – useful in a community where not everyone can read. You might brush up on songs, puppet shows and skipping rhymes, because they all allow you to leave easily remembered but lifesaving information behind.

Putting a halt to open defecation will, of course, often have the knock-on effect of improving the drinking water supply, which is helpful because Toilet Twinning also funds clean water provision. But although you don’t want to be a ‘half-a-job-Bob’, take a break for now knowing that fewer people are literally ‘dying for a pee’ and leave the last word to Bear Grylls: “Good sanitation, drinking water and keeping your hands clean are fundamental to communities. Twinning your toilet is a fun and unique way of helping tackle this injustice. I’m in!” I

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Israel Letamo with his mother and brother

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volunteer in his village, responsible for making sure all the toilets are clean. He takes great pride in his work, saying: “Even the path leading to the toilet should be clean.”

Every Sunday he makes sure the area round the water source and the pump are also kept in good order. He told a visitor: “I am very happy because I could take you anywhere and not be ashamed. I know that the village is clean.”

So in your chosen village, you could start off by suggesting a group walk to see if there are any existing toilets and note areas of open defecation, perhaps marking them with flags. Unpleasant sights and smells often trigger the desire for action, especially when noticed in a visitor’s presence.

Then you might encourage the community to make a simple map, maybe drawn on the ground, on which households mark themselves and any existing latrines.

Areas of open defecation can be added, and you could chat about distance walked, safety, contamination of water supply, and the effects of faeces on the ground and how it degrades.

Even more graphically, you could suggest sizing up the sanitation problem by weighing the amount of poo produced, and scaling this up to calculate a week’s, month’s or year’s output. The result is often a shock!

But sometimes a bit of a shock is just what’s needed to help the community realise that open defecation needs to stop. Then you can work with them to plan a solution.

This might involve cracking on with a latrine-building programme, or it might mean a more measured approach, such as digging temporary pits for immediate use. Perhaps you can encourage wealthier households to set the pace with construction and get them to allow poorer families to use their latrines in the short term. Or it may be as simple as forming a sanitation action group to carry on the work after you’ve gone home. You keep reminding yourself that your aim is to encourage the community to take ownership of their own sanitation.

This approach, first pioneered in Bangladesh, is known as ‘community-led total sanitation’, and is now used in many countries around the world. This way, people are empowered to help themselves and each other, knowing that unless they stop going to the toilet in the open, the risks of disease will remain for everyone in the community.

It’s time to become Bob the Builder, or at least Bob the Building Advisor. With your help, the community can build latrines appropriate to their resources and longterm maintenance skills. And, as any desert island castaway would know, the materials at hand are the best place to start.

Many communities in developing countries are used to making their own bricks using local clays pressed into a wooden mould and fired in a small kiln. Wood, bamboo, woven leaves and – caution alert! – cacti are also

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ZAC’S PLACE

SEAN THE SHEEPHERDER Sean Stillman is a priest with a difference. As a Harley Davidson devotee and champion of those ‘on the edge’ of society, he leads one of the most unusual community projects and churches in the UK.

BY KAREN CARTER

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ith a preacher for a dad, Sean was born into a church family in Reading, but he knew that his natural place wasn’t in a pulpit; he hoped it would be behind a drum kit on a rock festival main stage.

Instead, biker Sean eventually moved to Swansea and – as a leading figure in the God’s Squad Christian Motorcycle Club – it wasn’t long before he was asked to lead funerals in the biking community. His down-toearth approach to the Christian faith prompted many to ask him for the chance to find out more about it without having to go to a traditional church.

He got together with a group of friends to organise Bible study and chat nights in a local pub and ran hundreds of events over a seven-year period to look at Christianity through the arts.

By then a more permanent home was needed for the unusual community, and the group moved into an old gospel

Why Zac’s Place?

Zac’s Place is named after the biblical character Zacchaeus, a tax collector for the Romans, who was hated in his local community. Jesus singled him out in a crowd and said he would spend some time at his house. Jesus broke a taboo by offering friendship to a man seen as a traitor to his own people. Some people were horrified, but others were amazed to see how ‘Zac’ changed his ways when he was given the chance.

hall building. Zac’s Place was born and 14 years on it is still drawing in the crowds with Sean as its ‘pioneer’ minister. He’s a pioneer because he isn’t part of a traditional church, doesn’t wear long robes and a dog collar round his neck, and isn’t known as Rev. But Sean is a Christian minister who serves those who often feel they don’t ‘fit’ anywhere else.

“SOMETIMES YOU WONDER IF THERE IS ANYTHING SPIRITUAL GOING ON AT ALL, SUCH IS THE NATURE OF WHAT HAPPENS HERE.” Day in, day out, Zac’s Place opens its city centre doors to the homeless, drink and drug addicts, the vulnerable, exoffenders and many others on the fringes of society; as well as those who simply want to be part of something very different, radical and unpredictable. f

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ZAC’S PLACE

They come to eat in the soup kitchen and coffee bar and to be part of a Tuesday night meeting known as ‘tribal gathering’ for chat and prayer about a Bible study.

This comes as a sharp contrast to those that are more accustomed to quiet churches and hard pews, because what happens at Zac’s Place can seem a little ‘unconventional’ to say the least.

“It’s glorious in its chaos,” says Sean. “Sometimes you wonder if there is anything spiritual going on at all, such is the nature of what happens here. When we began in 1998 as ‘Zac’s Place: Church in a Pub?’, the question mark was very important as we really didn’t know if it would develop into anything at all.

“These days, a more accurate description is ‘Zac’s Place: a Church for Ragamuffins’. The question mark has gone, but the questions remain in trying to work out what it means to have a Christian faith and follow Jesus in a messy world. Our environment here sometimes resembles an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting mixed with a casualty department!

“But in saying that, the most encouraging thing in the last year or two is the baptism of several of our regulars in the ocean, which is just a short walk away from where we are. We’ve seen people genuinely want to get to know about the faith that Christ showed us and how to really live it. Many of these people haven’t been involved in church at all before now.

“IT’S EXHAUSTING AND DRAINING, BUT IT’S OFTEN AT WHAT CAN SEEM LIKE THE LOWEST OF POINTS WHERE SIGNIFICANT THINGS HAPPEN AS WELL.” “Our tribal gathering is at the heart of what Zac’s is all about. People are free to come and go, but lots of them want the chance to sit down, look at the Bible and try to figure out what difference it makes to their own lives.

They then stick around for a chat, a cup of tea and a piece of cake. The gathering is our way of being a church community and, through that, people are learning together and sharing stories together.

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Bikes and Bibles Sean started in Christian ministry in 1988 and was ordained as a minister in November 2002 by Aussie biker, writer and minister Rev Dr John Smith and the leadership of St Martins in Melbourne, Australia.

Originally from Reading, Sean first launched Zac’s Place in 1998. He is founding president of the UK chapter of God’s Squad Christian Motorcycle Club, established in Australia in the late 1960s. Sean is currently European president and international vice-president.

Exousia Trust oversees Sean’s church work. It is entirely supported by the gifts and donations of individuals, church groups and occasionally by grants.

Zac’s Place is a mission church of Exousia Trust and a Concern Australia Community of Faith. It is twinned with St Martin’s Collingwood, in Melbourne.

“Obviously it’s not easy, as with anything you do with people on the margins of society. I come across many lives which have been broken by tragic circumstances or in serious traps of addiction and other issues. When you try to be a help and support to these people, there’s a cost. It’s exhausting and draining, but it’s often at what can seem like the lowest of points where significant things happen as well – so you have to take that on balance. So there’s progress in all kinds of ways and often in unexpected places.”

Sean – in jeans, T-shirt and black leather jacket – doesn’t look like a holier-than-thou preacher, but he’s often the calm in the midst of some spectacular ‘storms’, because anyone can come through the Zac’s Place open door at any time and anything can happen.

He continues: “A lot of people see church as being somewhere with a lot of rules and ‘no-go’ areas, but it’s important to break down boundaries as much as we can.

We all have our boundaries. Maybe it’s about needing to love somebody you find very difficult to love; somebody like the guy who has just thrown up all over your shoulder and given you a hug because he wants some food! Whatever the circumstances, I think the way that boundaries are broken down are by taking the time to get to know the people on the other side of the divide.

“That’s why we put a lot of effort into building relationships with anybody who walks through the doors here. So whether they’re coming for the Bible study or for breakfast in the morning – having slept outside in the rain all night – or the soup kitchen in the evenings, it’s all about interaction with people and taking them seriously.

It’s also about giving them a welcome, not just because of what we’ve got to offer them, but because we genuinely care for them; whether they take on board what we believe or not. Yes, that is important to us, but it isn’t the key element of why we’re showing interest in them and why we want to get to know them, and that is actually what breaks the barriers down.

“When we first set out, we really didn’t know if there was going to be any mileage in what is now known as a ‘fresh expression of church’ or a ‘church for people who don’t do church’. There obviously is! Our aim is not to be a sort of staging post where people get themselves sorted out before going to ‘proper’ church; Zac’s Place offers

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ZAC’S PLACE church as part of what it is. So here we are, still going, with people continuing to get to know Christ and more about their faith.”

Sean recently told of his experiences at Zac’s Place on a national road show tour, taking his Harley across the country as ‘a bloke on his bike, the Sermon on the Mount and 25 years’ worth of stories from the margins’.

He’s now considering further dates for this year. So has his Zac’s Place journey been worth it so far?

“Yes, most of the time,” he says. “Sometimes you feel like giving up because it can be very draining and demoralising when you’re surrounded by some people with very chaotic lifestyles. But when I look back over the bigger picture and we see lives that are transformed, then it’s more than worth it.

“In the next year we’re looking at developing some more things into our regular weekly activities, possibly even on a Sunday. We’ve been open pretty much every day except Sunday for the last eight or nine years, but as with any fresh expression or new way of doing church, we have to continually assess whether we should be changing things.

“We have to listen to our community, listen to God and be prepared to alter what we do or introduce something we haven’t done before. But that’s all part of following Jesus. He promises to be with us always – he doesn’t say it’s going to be all plain sailing!” I

A New Take on the Onesie During a Bible study, the door flew open, as it often does, and two people we didn’t know very well were standing there. These guys were wearing nothing but police forensic suits (one-piece jumpsuits) with no shoes on their feet. They announced to us that they’d just been released from police custody and all of their clothes had been kept for forensic evidence. They asked if we had any spare pants and a cup of coffee.

So naturally we invited them in, offered them a coffee and told them we’d get some clean underwear shortly. They then took part in the rest of the Bible study. That might seem like a very unwelcome interruption, but then I realised that for two people to throw open the door in the middle of our meeting and to announce some fairly difficult charges they were faced with to a room full of people meant they actually trusted the Zac’s Place environment hugely.

I take that as a huge compliment as to how safe they felt knowing what it is they were walking into. And often it’s a juggling act of confusion and chaos and tender acts of mercy; sometimes there is a very, very fine line between the two, but I’m glad we have an open door policy and I’m glad we have these chaotic moments.

It’s then that we see some of the most precious acts of mercy, and I’d hate to miss those. I’d hate to miss those signs of Christ in people’s lives.

It says a lot about the relationships that we foster here and a lot about how I think church should be. These men seemed quite comfortable turning up just as they were to announce their problem with the expectation that we’d be able to help them.

To find out more about fresh expressions of church and to see filmed interviews with Sean at Zac’s Place, visit www.freshexpressions.org.uk and www.zacsplace.org.

You can contact Sean on office@exousia.demon.co.uk.

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BUSINESS

CHARLES HUMPHREYS

We’re in Business

Working Dad: How Does That Work? with our families; or we have difficulty adapting to a new non-breadwinning role.

If you see yourself fitting into one of these groups, then here’s your chance to put your prayer ‘muscles’ to the test. God wants you to be in work, but equally He also wants you to be a dad to your children and a husband to your wife. He will provide a way if you pray.

Without trying to anticipate God’s answers to your prayers, here are some practical ways that might help to improve your workingdad-life balance: I Simply ask your employer if you can work more flexibly I Consider which industry would suit you best; research suggests that digital, online businesses and public sectors tend to be more flexible

© Katyspichal | Dreamstime.com

I Approach your boss with a game plan in terms of how the arrangement would work and how it will benefit the organisation

I

was near the Armenian border travelling on a ramshackle bus.

Suddenly, out of the window, I saw something that would stay with me forever. An old man was reclined on a donkey, smoking a long pipe and looking very much at peace with the world, while behind him trudged his wife, literally doubled over under the weight of a haystack carried across her shoulders.

WE CANNOT FIND TIME TO SPEND WITH OUR FAMILIES; OR WE HAVE DIFFICULTY ADAPTING TO A NEW NONBREADWINNING ROLE. In our society, traditional male roles have changed radically over the last few decades, and films like Billy Elliot and The Full Monty eloquently show the pain men go through when their roles in life change. One client 62

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recently told me that after losing his job he saw the video of Freddie Mercury dressed up in drag, vacuuming the house and singing “I want to break free”. He instantly saw himself reflected in that image: dress, curlers and all!

The big question, of course, is what is left of our maleness when our jobs and traditional roles disappear? What can we do about it?

In the Bible, Paul lets us into a secret about Jesus’ strength (see Colossians 2:6-9). Despite being God, Jesus didn’t hang onto this title, but instead he did something that many of us struggle with; he humbled himself. I have a feeling that if I had adopted this mindset, I wouldn’t have felt so much pain after losing my job!

What was the result? Jesus’ Father exalted him, in other words He promoted him in rank.

If we too are able to humble ourselves – for example, not getting angry and stressed about our situation – then God will also lift us up out of our situations. I believe that in this place, God will show us our true maleness and provide for our needs.

Many of us who are dads struggle with changes to our male roles and will fall into two basic groups: we cannot find time to spend

I Have one master calendar at home so you don’t accidently miss important events like the school Christmas concert and save annual leave for these important dates I Say NO! Determine what additional work activities you can turn down so you can free up more of your time outside the office I Establish a “no work” zone: put down the smartphone and avoid checking emails from the time you arrive home until after your children have gone to sleep I Make sure you know your paternity rights (www.dad.info)!

If you’re out of work and feel like you’re ‘drowning’ under the weight of childcare duties, this is a tough place to be for a man.

However, God’s promise to you today is that you can enjoy the time you do have with your children and at the same time trust in Him for a change in season. I

Charles is an experienced careers coach and founder of Christian-based careers coaching service Want2 get on? (www.want2geton.co.uk), which offers 1:1 careers counselling, workshops and seminars. He wrote The Christian Guide to Jobs and Careers (www.hope4acareer.com), is a busy dad of three young boys and husband to an overworked doctor.

He also leads the men’s ministry at Oasis Church in Colliers Wood.

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BUSINESS

STUART RIVERS

Making Your Mark

Deep and Wide

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REACH DEEP INTO THE HEART OF YOUR AUDIENCE TO INCREASE ENGAGEMENT WITH YOUR CAUSE. In a charity context, the internet may be a less imminent threat to voluntary income, but there is still a need to respond to the changing needs of donors and the opportunities presented by technological developments. The past few years have seen a number of charities close and, in a recent survey by Research Now of 252 senior charity workers, 17% said it was likely that their charity would face closure in the next 12 months. Around 40% are concerned that their charity may have to close

if the economic situation does not improve.

Clearly, technology has the ability to drive income, reduce fundraising and communications costs and engage new audiences. Like it or not, it has the power to transform the charity sector if leaders can shift their mindsets away from traditional thinking.

However, whether on or offline, donor relationships are the real key to survival in these difficult times.

Relationships matter Donors are ordinary people who feel inclined or compelled to share their financial resources with others. When they choose to do this they are entering a relationship that may last for many years. The same goes for customers as they become loyal to a brand or product.

Therefore, it is important to treat them with respect, to value the relationship and to develop a communications approach that strengthens the relationship over time. This means going deep and wide as far as your audience is concerned.

Here are some tips to help you strengthen relationships with your donors by taking the deep and wide approach: I Reach deep into the heart of your audience to increase engagement with your cause or mission I Develop such a meaningful relationship with your donors that your work is a priority for them I Help your donors become advocates for your work by keeping them informed with relevant reports and stories I Build and equip your volunteer workforce to convince people that your mission is worth supporting I Measure impact so that you can easily capture the imagination of your donors I Bring conversations about your work into the public square to attract positive media attention I Cast your net wider to identify demographic groups beyond your typical audience I Adopt a research strategy to build intelligence about your area of work and the impact you are having I Develop a communications strategy that bonds long-term relationships I Embrace technological developments and embed digital creativity into everything you do Although there are many other points you could add to this list (and I’d encourage you to do so), it’s most important that you start to prioritise donor relationships. In the same way

that businesses depend on customers to succeed, donors enable a charity to succeed in its mission and should be held in high regard.

A recent study found that a sixth of charities surveyed will face possible closure in 2013.

Research from the National Council for Voluntary Organisations (NCVO) and the Charities Aid Foundation showed a 20% drop in charity donations in the past year, prompting them to launch a Back Britain’s Charities campaign.

The Guardian’s Kate Hodge says: “It’s important not to lose sight of the basics involved in raising money. Key areas include: consistent communication of your charity’s brand, excellent donor care processes and an investment in individual fundraisers’ training and development to ensure practitioners are up to speed with the rapidly changing landscape.”

This continues to be sound advice as charities strengthen their resolve for 2013. So what positive action will you take to ensure your charity (or the charities you support) survive and thrive this year? I

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hy have some businesses and charities thrived during the recession while others have been forced to shrink or even close?

The UK high street has been decimated over the past few years, with major brands such as La Senza, Comet, Game and Jessops to name but a few, being forced into administration.

The latest casualty appears to be HMV and, according to news reports, the main problem is that music and film are predominantly sold online these days. But this is just a symptom of a much bigger problem: the failure to reinvent the business model – a subject I have touched on in previous articles – and a failure to understand what motivates the customer (or donor) to part with hard-earned cash.

So what is really going on? Retailers blame the growth of internet businesses as a major challenge to high street sales. But they just don’t seem to respond to the challenge. Rather, they continue to complain about online competition, half thinking that complaining will improve their own situation. What is required is positive action that embraces change and responds positively to the challenges.

An entrepreneur with a background in marketing and business development, Stuart was appointed executive director of Bible Society in 2009. He previously spent 15 years at Ericsson, progressing to the role of commercial director in Sweden with responsibility for business transformation and innovation globally. Stuart is a former Salvation Army officer whose parents are commissioners; his great uncle was private secretary to General William Booth. He is married to Carey and has six children and two grandchildren.

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BUSINESS

MATT BIRD

Relationology

Five Powerful Principles to Keep Your Relationships Alive imitators and around 5% are initiators. This means that if I invite you to follow me on Twitter today (@Relationology), it is likely that only 5% will initiate a connection and do so.

Are you an initiator or an imitator?

If we choose to become intentional, we differentiate ourselves from 95% of people.

Think about it another way; we can differentiate ourselves from 95% of our competition simply by deciding to join the 5%.

Will you make the extra phone call while others give up? Will you initiate lunch or stick with a sandwich at your desk?

If we fail to keep in contact with the people we meet, the opportunity presented in that human connection (or suit pocket) will be lost.

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Principle 2: Regularity

A

sk yourself these two questions and be really honest… How many business cards do you collect in the average month? And how many of the people these cards represent do you keep in contact with?

On one occasion, I remember meeting someone, getting on very well and exchanging business cards. It wasn’t until several months later when I was taking some suits to the drycleaners that I discovered the business card in an inside pocket. By that time, I felt like the moment had passed and it was too late to follow up on the contact.

It’s infinitely easier to collect business cards than it is to do something with them afterwards. Here are my strategies for keeping in contact with the people I meet.

Principle 1: Intentionality The single-most important factor in keeping relationships alive is our commitment to intentionality. About 95% of people are 64

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Relationship is a contact sport. Around 80% of relationship is simply staying in contact with another person. This is what I call ‘pinging’; being intentional about finding meaningful reasons to be in contact with a person.

Think about the times when you’ve met someone once and then you meet them again a year later. At worst, they don’t remember that they’ve even met you, at best they’ll recall your face but won’t have retained any details about who you are and what you do.

Neglecting to develop the relationship means having to start again.

Principle 3: Attentiveness and adaptability Our ability to build interpersonal relationships is in part determined by attentiveness to individuals and our ability to adapt ourselves to suit them.

People who have more extroverted personalities can overwhelm more moderate or introverted personalities. As an extrovert, I have learnt the importance of being attentive to people and situations, and knowing when to ‘turn the volume down’ to avoid the risk of being insensitive to others.

In my experience, people have personal preferences. For example, I have one friend who uses snail mail rather than email, which can be interesting when it comes to scheduling a time to meet. Another friend texts but doesn’t email, so you can forget attachments. Get to know the communication preferences for each person in your network and communicate their way not yours.

Principle 4: Patience and persistence Keeping relationships alive requires great patience and persistence. If you go to events and chat to lots of people, there is often one person in particular you get on well with.

Being intentional, you drop them an email afterwards saying that it would be great to meet for coffee and chat further, and then there’s no response. It’s all too easy to take this non-response personally or to read it as ‘I’m not interested’. I would encourage you to think differently.

We should be patient and not give up.

There are always things going on in people’s lives that we are not aware of, which can mean they haven’t the capacity to respond in that moment. Be gently persistent and when eventually you get to speak, most people will be really grateful that you didn’t give up.

Principle 5: Responding not reacting There have been times when I’ve received an email that’s really annoyed me and I’ve reacted, immediately rattling off a reply and hitting send, which often makes the situation much worse. Instead, a considered response is better, and often using a different medium – picking up the phone instead of emailing back – tends to diffuse conflict.

If someone we know acts out of character or someone we don’t know behaves unreasonably, we shouldn’t react. I encourage you to pause…. Hold your breath. Think carefully about what might be going on. Then make a measured response. You might even want to sit on your response for 24 hours; it’s amazing how different things look a day later.

Sometimes we do react rather than respond. When we do, we need to practise the art of recovering, rebuilding and restoring relationships. This often comes down to our human capacity to apologise and to forgive. If we can eat humble pie from time to time, we will find ourselves keeping relationships rather than losing them. I Creator of Relationology, Matt Bird is an international speaker, trainer and facilitator. Visit www.relationology.co.uk or to contact Matt, email contact@relationology.co.uk.

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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ADVICE

SMART TALK

With Ben Sinclair, Jojo Meadows and James Galloway

Sponsored by SortedDating.com – bringing you genuine Christian dating

Young, Free and Single

My simple suggestion is to enjoy life and go on an adventure. A girl won’t complete you unless you are complete. While you have freedom and a lack of responsibility, enjoy life and see what God can do. Travel the world and get new experiences; it’s part of your development as a man.

Ben recently became a father and works as a GP with an interest in men’s health and as an emergency doctor. He also raises awareness through the Optimise Clinic, providing a bespoke mobile medical service for busy working people (www.optimiseclinic.co.uk; Twitter: @Menshealthtips)

PJ

JJ There are no stipulations as to

when you should or shouldn’t be in a relationship, so this is totally OK. I’m getting the feeling that you don’t think it’s ok though. Each and every one of us is unique, so you need to work on believing in yourself. Your lack of eye contact and self-doubt in your conversations are all due to low self-esteem. There are courses that can help you, and also being around good friends who can help build you up and quash any selfdoubt is the way forward!

Jojo is a director of The Light Radio, works alongside youth with Urban Creation – her own project – and is involved with the skateboarding/inlining community. Having been through many life-changing experiences, including anorexia, teenage pregnancy, violent relationships and cancer cell changes, she now wants to help others who find themselves struggling in difficult circumstances.

Pastor James Galloway and wife Becky have been lead pastors at Breathe City Church (BCC) in Stoke on Trent since September 2007. Born and bred in Stoke and a season ticket holder at Stoke City, Pastor James loves his city with an unquenchable passion and believes that the Church should be at the very centre of the community and city.

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I’m an 18-year-old lad and have never had a girlfriend – is this OK? I’m not bad looking but I just feel what I have to say doesn’t interest girls. I don’t feel I’m confident enough to do it. I can’t maintain eye contact, I just look away nervously. Do you have any suggestions?

Remember women will appreciate your listening skills more than what you say! You’re concerned about relationships due to your low confidence. Your life is ahead of you. Concentrate on building self-confidence, make the most of your natural abilities and try to gain new character and interests.

You never know what may happen!

BS

Last weekend I caught my 16year-old stepson watching a porn movie on the computer in my home office. He didn’t hear me walk in and doesn’t know what I saw, so I don’t know how best to approach him about it. I thought about telling his mum but she’d freak out and I don’t want to be the reason they have a huge row.

He keeps asking me what’s wrong because I’ve been giving him funny looks, but I just don’t know how to handle it.

PJ

It’s real simple; love on the kid. He is in the development

stages and has lots of questions. He is trying to discover what life is all about. Don’t give funny looks; instead give an example for him to look at and follow. Talk openly and honestly, but don’t make him feel bad. The most valuable thing to a boy is a dad or stepdad who loves and trusts him.

Ok, the first thing is to stop giving him funny looks! He is 16 and inquisitive. I’m not condoning it, but all his peers will be watching and he’ll be curious as to what they are talking about. You need to really talk to him, man to man. Explain what you saw and that you’re disappointed. Let him share with you and be gentle,

JJ

humble and understanding.

But totally reiterate that it is not acceptable in your home.

There are steps you can take with your internet provider to make sure there are safeguards against porn websites.

You need to give him the opportunity to tell you what is going on first; if he has a problem with porn, you won’t help by going in with guns blazing! However, he needs to know your values and where the boundaries lie. Don’t leave this chat too long as your current reaction will have a negative effect on your relationship with him.

BS

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OUR EXPERTS

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ADVICE

I thought I was doing the right thing when I came clean last week and told my wife I cheated on her five years ago, but it was a big mistake because she cannot forgive me. It has never happened again, but I don’t know what to do and how to put things right.

PJ Whether you’re forgiven or not

is not your responsibility; the reaction is just one of the consequences and the collateral of your decision. Focus on the future; if you believe you did what is right, then keep going. She needs to build her trust and see that your apology is more than just words. This may take time, but if you’ve come clean, live clean.

JJ I believe you absolutely did

the right thing. It’s very brave and honourable to come clean, but very hard to deal with the consequences. Clearly your wife is deeply hurt and will be working through the betrayal element along with the deceit. You have to give her time, it’s a process. Counselling

could be crucial in saving your marriage. You need a mediator; a safe place for you both to vent and work through this problem with guidance and wise counsel.

If you only told her last week, give her some more space and time as it may take a while to get a considered response.

You need her forgiveness and to earn her trust again, but this may take some time and hard work on your part. You can’t put this right, you can only hope that you’re worth it and ask for forgiveness. I

BS

CONTACT US: Got a problem and need an answer?

Email: jo@sorted-magazine.com or write to: Smart Talk, Sorted Magazine, PO Box 3070, Littlehampton, West Sussex BN17 6WX

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ADVICE

JONATHAN SHERWIN

Big Questions

The Historical Jesus the first century, corroborates biblical facts about Jesus and the beginnings of the early Church.

A well-worn objection to the Bible, and the New Testament accounts of Jesus in particular, goes something like this: “The early Christians made up the stories about Jesus because they needed to spread their false message.”

Well, Tacitus and the Romans certainly didn’t need to spread the message. Quite the opposite; the Romans wished the Christians didn’t exist! Christians were viewed as a nuisance and as law-breakers for not worshipping the emperor. The last thing the Romans wanted was to lend credence to the Christian message. Tacitus’ record is simply an honest, historical account of the facts.

T

he British philosopher Bertrand Russell once said: “Historically, it is quite doubtful whether Christ ever existed at all, and if He did we do not know anything about Him.” Outside of the Bible – which incidentally is an incredibly reliable document – what kind of evidence is there that Jesus ever existed?

Jesus Christ is arguably the most influential man in the whole of human history, indeed our entire calendar system pivots around his birth. Surely, dear Mr Russell must be wrong?

Surely there must be more evidence than the Bible for the life of Jesus?

Well, there is.

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Non-Christian History Jesus was born in Bethlehem and grew up in Roman-occupied Nazareth. The Roman Empire covered much of Europe, Northern Africa and parts of the Middle East at the time. So what of the Roman historical record? Here’s Tacitus, one of the great Roman historians: “Christus … suffered the extreme penalty during the reign of Tiberius at the hands of one of our procurators, Pontius Pilatus.”

This small excerpt is part of a longer piece on how the Romans treated the early Christian Church. Tacitus, writing in the second half of

Another group of people not exactly tickled by the arrival of Jesus were, surprisingly enough, the Jews. Many Jewish leaders, keen to keep the peace with Rome, saw Jesus as a threat to the status quo. So let’s see what the Jewish historical record says.

Here we have Josephus. Writing in the early ’90s (first century), this Jewish historian says: “Now there was about this time Jesus, a wise man, if it be lawful to call him a man, for he was a doer of wonderful works, a teacher of such men as receive the truth with pleasure.

He drew over to him both many of the Jews, and many of the Gentiles.

“He was the Christ; and when Pilate, at the suggestion of the principal men amongst us, had condemned him to the cross, those that loved him at the first did not forsake him, for he appeared to them alive again the third day, as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him; and the tribe of Christians, so named from him, are not extinct to this day.”

Hmm. Jesus, Pilate … the historical record of Jesus seems to be emerging clearly.

“THE THEORY OF JESUS’ NON-EXISTENCE IS NOW EFFECTIVELY DEAD AS A SCHOLARLY QUESTION.” As one New Testament scholar put it: “The theory of Jesus’ non-existence is now effectively dead as a scholarly question.”

If Jesus didn’t exist, then we can forget about Christianity. It would just be another myth and should be treated with as much respect as the hairy sky monster.

But Jesus did exist and his very existence challenges us today. Will we ignore him, or will we brave further investigation of the man who changed human history more than anyone else throughout history? I Jonathan lives in Oxford where he runs Latimers, a place for people to challenge and investigate the Christian faith. He graduated from the Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics and now works as an itinerant evangelist, which involves co-leading CVM’s Demolition Squad. Join the conversation online: www.jonathansherwin.net.

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Jewish history

faith in Jesus Christ.

It was 16th century French mathematician Blaise Pascal who said: “I believe those witnesses who get their throats cut.”

That’s the thing; these historical records were written by people who didn’t have much to gain, but had plenty to lose. Reputation, peace and even their lives were at stake.

So let’s return to Mr Russell’s argument. It may be that one would not want Jesus to have existed for any number of reasons, but the plain facts of the matter are that the historical record has overwhelming evidence supporting the remarkable life of Jesus Christ.

Christian History We also have written records from early Christians. We have Clement, the Bishop of Rome, writing to the church in Corinth: “The Apostles received the gospel for us from the Lord Jesus Christ; Jesus Christ was sent forth from God. So then Christ is from God, and the Apostles are from Christ.”

Or how about Ignatius? He was just one of the many Christians murdered in Rome by the Romans. He wrote of the crucifixion, as did Justin Martyr. In fact, both of these men quote facts, places, and names; all of which could be easily checked by their readers. Additionally, both of these men were martyred for their Sorted. Mar/Apr 2013

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OPINION

JON COBB

Money

It’s All a Bit Too Taxing

something on a tax return. It’s stealing and it’s morally wrong. Avoidance is more of a grey area, and it covers the likes of the schemes mentioned above and the type that caused Jimmy Carr so much embarrassment last year.

These are schemes that exploit loopholes in our 11,000 pages of tax rules, but are lacking in the spirit of community. In the book of Romans, Paul writes that we should: “Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honour, then honour.”

IN MY BOOK, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TAX EVASION, TAX AVOIDANCE AND TAX MITIGATION. But while I would encourage you to shy away from anything that evades and avoids, I would encourage you to mitigate! This is actually being a good steward of the resources with which we are blessed. These are rules and opportunities that are accepted as legitimate by the tax office and are part and parcel of putting your finances in order. As we approach a new tax year, here are a few pointers you may wish to consider: I If you have any cash savings, make sure

they a held in a cash ISA. You can put up 70

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to £5,640 in before April 5, 2013 (the allowance is £5,760 for the following tax year), and all interest is free of income tax I If you are married and your partner does not use his or her income tax personal allowance, make sure that all savings are held in their name I Remember, gifts to charities and pension contributions enjoy tax relief. This is particularly beneficial if you are a higherrate tax payer!

I Check your tax code and check your payslip. They may be computergenerated, but the information is input by mere mortals. Mistakes are made and it’s your responsibility to put them right!

It’s difficult not to write about tax in a Christian magazine without mentioning the words of Jesus when he was challenged about whether it was right to pay taxes to Caesar (substitute Osborne here). He saw through their duplicity and said to them: “Show me a denarius. Whose image and inscription are on it?”

“Caesar’s,” they replied.

He said to them: “Then give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

It’s difficult to argue with that! I Jon Cobb runs financial advisory business Trinity Wealth Management and runs the men’s ministry at Stopsley Baptist Church in Luton. A keen runner, ex-white-collar boxer and passionate Portsmouth supporter, Jon has a heart to see Christian men grow to become the men God created them to be. He is available to speak at your church and men’s group (Jon.Cobb@twm.uk.com).

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I

’ve just moved house, talk about stressful. They say moving house and divorce are two of the most traumatic experiences we can typically go through in life. I got pretty close to a buy one, get one free scenario! If I’m honest, I didn’t cover myself in glory with the missus, and I flew off the handle on more than one occasion.

But now I’m sitting here on the sofa, coffee in hand, and it’s beginning to feel like my den! I don’t think I have ever haemorrhaged so much money in the space of one month in the entirety of my 50 mortal years, and while most of this has been traded for white goods, a new dining room table and of course four walls and a roof, I guess the one ‘spend’ that niggled me was the stamp duty. I don’t actually know what it is I have paid for and it seems that, proportionate to my income, it’s a hefty sum.

If you are wealthy, there are schemes involving the setting up of offshore companies, but the government is looking to close these down as they are simply set up with the intention of avoiding paying tax, and this is something HMRC frowns upon. In these days of austerity, the tax office needs to get back every penny it can! It’s little wonder the government is going after these schemes as there was something of a public outcry when a house in Henley was purchased for £140 million and no stamp duty was paid because it was purchased by an offshore company. (How many bedrooms does a house have to have to justify this price tag?!)

In my book, there is a difference between tax evasion, tax avoidance and tax mitigation.

Evasion is the deliberate act of not declaring

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OPINION

RICHARD HARDY

Family

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What Does it Mean to Love Your Kids Unconditionally?

IT IS SO MUCH EASIER TO BELIEVE THAT THE LOVING RESPONSE HAS ALWAYS GOT TO BE YES, NO MATTER WHAT THE REQUEST.

innocuous request?

Surely doing this could help them learn: I How to handle the disappointments that

will surely come That love is more than being given stuff!

That fun can be free but isn’t cheap The value of money To say no themselves; to the ‘wannas’ within (I wanna this! I wanna that!)

I And to say no to those who may not have their best interests at heart I I I I

To love unconditionally is not to communicate that any behaviour is okay, any demand will be met or that any desire should be sated. It requires that we, as loving parents, live within the boundaries of our values and convictions and teach our children to do the same for themselves.

As my children were growing up, I used to regularly get a little pep talk from the missus. It went something like this: “You’re too soft with the kids. You say yes far too often. We are not their friends, we are their parents. This is not a popularity contest. Neither is it just about getting through the day with the least possible grief. We are investing in their future so that they will become well-rounded human beings who live generous lives and are willing to put themselves out for others.”

I am so glad that I listened once in a while and recognised that unconditional love says no sometimes to the little stuff so that it’s possible for them to learn to say no when the big stuff comes along. I

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I

was sitting in a waiting room recently watching a seven-year-old play on an iPad. When I asked if it was his dad’s, who was sitting next to him, he told me he had got it for Christmas. It was all I could do to restrain myself from saying: “Sorry, what seven-year-old needs an iPad, and what parent buys him one?!”

As I reflected on this later in the day I realised how easily we surrender to constant nagging because it’s just easier. Or spend our time as adults persuading ourselves that we need a new this or that or the other. Or we fall into the trap of equating unconditional love with denying our children nothing.

It is so much easier to believe that the loving response has always got to be yes, no matter what the request.

“Mum, can I have a bar of chocolate?”

“Yes.” “Dad, can I borrow the car?”

“Yes.” “Mum, can I have a new mobile phone?”

“Yes.” It is always so much easier to say yes.

But what if the requests went something like this…

“Mum, I know I’m diabetic and chocolate could kill me, but can I eat myself to death?”

“Dad, can I borrow the car so that I can go drinking with my mates?”

“Mum, can I have a new mobile phone, because I have lost interest in the old one, and anyway there is a better one coming out and I deliberately broke the old one so you would have no choice.”

What would be the loving response then? It may not be easy to say no, but sometimes it is necessary. Of course, if what our children ask for and sometimes demand was so obviously not in their best interests, the decision would be easier to make.

The difficulty we all face is the fact that the dangers to our children’s future wellbeing are not always clear cut or easy to see. If they were, I am sure we would say “no” or “wait” more often than we do.

We live in a relatively well-to-do area. Some of the people around us have big houses and pots of dosh.

They also have very demanding jobs and seem to have a tendency to overcompensate for the lack of attention they are able to give their kids by keeping them busy and buying them stuff. I am not in that position and cannot say how I would react if I were.

Richard Hardy is a Baptist minister and director of the Entheos Trust, which encourages leaders and enables churches to engage with their communities. Richard has spoken on community engagement, marriage and parenting at many national conferences. He has also written extensively on community and family issues (www.theentheostrust.org).

It does, however, raise an interesting question in my mind. What happens when they leave home, don’t get the job they’d expected and aren’t able to maintain the lifestyle that they have come to expect. Do they run up huge debts? Do they sponge off their parents? Do they resort to a life of crime to get what they ‘need’? Or do they get depressed, give up and see life as unfair?

If we love our kids unconditionally, is it right to say yes to everything any more than it is right to say no to everything? Should we think about the implications for our kids of always saying yes? Should we say no or wait once in a while even when we could give them what they are asking for and it seems a pretty Sorted. Mar/Apr 2013

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OPINION

SAM GIBB

Faith

The World Needs a Hero

T

wo days ago I bought three new books: The Cross in the New Testament (Leon Morris); The Strength of a Man: 50 Devotionals to Help Men Find Their Strength in God (David Roper); and – pick of the bunch – Asterix and the Soothsayer (René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo).

I’ll be honest. I have bought more Asterix comics in my 20s than I did in all the years preceding them. I even have three in French (perfect for men; you don’t have to read, you can just look at the pictures). It is a somewhat geeky obsession, but there is just something about us men that can’t resist a quality, hero-centered comic book. So what is it that makes grown men so excited about fictional fellas in capes?

Superpowers Strictly speaking, not all superheroes have superpowers, but calling Batman a ‘costumed crime-fighter’ conjures up an image of Dave from Slough who likes to put on a wetsuit and run around after the neighbour’s fearsome cat.

(Sorry Dave, your secret is out).

Weaknesses Every superhero has a weakness. Asterix is constantly worried the sky will fall on his head, Superman goes all giddy around kryptonite, lesser known Marvel hero the Human Torch has a lot of trouble with Asbestos Man and the Green Lantern? Um… yellow stuff. Oh, and wood!

Hidden identity

Good versus evil We love a good fight, and a classic good versus evil scrap tops them all. So we love our heroes to engage in a proper punch-up with the enemy. But often the fight against evil is not only on the outside but on the inside; within our superheroes there is always a hint of what could be gained if their superpowers were put to evil use.

We love superheroes because they are everything we need and everything we want to be. Sadly, though, the reality is that – cape or no cape – we can’t save others. In fact, we can’t even save ourselves. We are truly stuffed.

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WITH HIS GLASSES ON HE IS CLARK KENT, A GEEKY REPORTER FOR THE DAILY PLANET, TAKE THEM OFF AND HE BECOMES THE ‘MAN OF STEEL’.

You see we are all born with ‘the human desire to mess stuff up’, or as it shall be known from now on, THDTMSU. The problem with THDTMSU is that it gets everywhere, into every area of our lives: our jobs, our friendships, our marriages and, on a much bigger scale, THDTMSU ruins the world.

So we don’t simply need a hero who can save us from THDTMSU, we need a hero who can restore the whole world; a hero who, though he is powerful beyond belief, becomes weak like

one of us. We need an all-round good hero who battles against THDTMSU and wins, a hero who sacrifices himself in the place of all humanity with the whole weight of THDTMSU on his shoulders. Now that is some hero.

You won’t find this hero in a comic book, but unlike all of the heroes mentioned above, the one I’m talking about really exists. If you pick up a Bible and look at Philippians 2:5-11, you can read about Him for yourself. And you’ll see why, above all, the thing I love most is the hero Himself; especially seeing as He doesn’t wear Lycra! I

Sam Gibb is a twenty-something currently living in London and working at All Souls, Langham Place. His passion is to present the message and teachings of Jesus to men in a way that makes sense to them. He has written a series of Bible studies aimed at lads on topics such as comedy, war and sport. Sam’s heroes are the apostle Paul, Alan Shearer and Garfield, though not necessarily in that order. You can follow him on twitter at @samggibb.

© Bowie15 | Dreamstime.com

With his glasses on he is Clark Kent, a geeky reporter for the Daily Planet, take them off and he becomes the ‘man of steel’. Thankfully, citizens of Metropolis seem to have very poor facial recognition skills, as all Kent (the man, not the place) needs is a little makeover and no one can recognise him. (If only it were that simple for the home county…).

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OPINION

LYNDON BOWRING

Politics

Marrying into Something

A

n interesting collection of politicians, religious leaders and others who passionately believe marriage is the best building block in society for building secure loving families and thriving communities gathered at the Westminster Parliament in February.

The occasion was the launch of Marriage Week, celebrated all over the UK and in a dozen other countries for the last 17 years.

CARE is privileged to be involved with this initiative, which in recent years has attracted support from public figures as diverse as the Archbishop of Canterbury, Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, actress Amanda Holden and PM David Cameron!

© Katie Nesling | Dreamstime.com

Marriage Week occurs around Valentine’s Day and aims to encourage couples, churches and other groups across the land to celebrate marriage. This year brings another opportunity for couples all over the country to make an uncomplicated statement of what marriage is and to express their love for each other. Have a look at the Marriage Week website (www.marriage-week.org.uk) for ideas.

Marriage is a hot topic at the moment. The government’s bill to allow same-sex couples in England to marry has provoked intense debate; sometimes producing more heat than light. There are similar moves in Scotland.

Those in support herald the proposal as a victory against inequality and bigoted attitudes towards the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.

Opponents are concerned about how society would be affected by redefining this age-old exclusive covenant between one man and one woman. Many feel it is undemocratic as the measure did not appear in any party’s 2010 election manifestos; or in the Coalition Agreement or the Queen’s Speech.

You may feel it is too late, but I would encourage everyone to think through their opinions – and go further by voicing them to others, especially our elected representatives, the local MP. And for those living in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, the MSP, MLA or AM. If you want some reasoned arguments in favour of preserving traditional marriage, visit the Coalition for Marriage (www.c4m.org.uk).

The petition there now numbers about 630,000 signatures; significantly more than the government’s recent consultation, which reached 228,000.

MPs and others are interested in their constituents’ views and this issue has produced more correspondence than any

other in recent times. You can also visit your MP at his or her weekly surgery.

The reason I am highlighting Marriage Week is also to do with standing up for something you believe in. Apart from drawing attention to opportunities to celebrate marriage in 2013, the press launch announced that next year, on February 8, 2014, there will be an attempt to break the world record of couples reaffirming their marriage vows simultaneously across the country. The Guinness Book of Records says 1,087 is the number to beat, and we hope that in church buildings, hotels, and many other venues that number will be well and truly trumped!

Is this just a gimmick? No, I don’t think so.

I believe the knock-on effects of so many renewing those promises could be quite remarkable. Whatever has happened in the political arena by then, let’s hope to see husbands and wives from every section of our society celebrate their marriages. For my wife and me it will be our 40th anniversary and I can’t wait to publicly declare my love and commitment once again. I

© Vgstudio | Dreamstime.com

THIS YEAR BRINGS ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY FOR COUPLES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY TO MAKE AN UNCOMPLICATED STATEMENT OF WHAT MARRIAGE IS.

Lyndon Bowring was born in Wales and studied at London Bible College. He is an associate minister at Kensington Temple, and has been executive chairman of CARE for more than 25 years. His hobbies include watching rugby, exploring London’s restaurants and developing friendships.

He lives in London with his wife Celia, and they have three children.

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OPINION

LEE AND BAZ

Cut to the Chase © Mille19 | Dreamstime.com

Body on the Line

BY BAZ GASGOINE

O

ver the last two years I have had the privilege of being first team chaplain for Sheffield Eagles Rugby League Team. It is a voluntary role and I attend training two or three nights a week, often as water boy, and attend most of the games. Part of my role is being available to all the playing, coaching and office staff (and fans) for any pastoral care situations that may arise.

Between the ages of 11 and 19 I played rugby union. My only contact with rugby league was watching it on TV, trying to understand what was going on! Since going to the Eagles’ training sessions and games I have learnt most of the rules and discovered how energetic, entertaining and exhilarating rugby league is to watch.

I have also tried to understand the culture and community of rugby league by reading autobiographies of past legends of the game; an enlightening and helpful activity. In fact, I have totally fallen in love with the game of rugby league.

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One of the things that has impressed me most about the players I’m working alongside, and the opponents too, is how much they put their bodies on the line for the team.

I have read of bones broken, ligaments torn, eye sockets damaged, concussions, dislocations and countless operations. And one of the first things I noticed watching a game is how quickly injured players pick themselves up off the ground and get back into the action.

Rugby players put their bodies on the line for their teammates no matter what the cost, because they think it’s worth it. But when I consider this, I realise no one puts their body on the line quite the way my hero Jesus did for his team: you and me.

He was flogged, stripped and had a scarlet robe placed on him. A thorny crown was placed on his head. The Roman soldiers mocked him, spat at him and repeatedly hit him. He had to carry the ‘patibulum’ (the heavy cross beam that was fixed to the upright log of wood to make the cross). Due to being totally exhausted, Jesus couldn’t carry it all the way so the soldiers got a North African from the crowd called Simon to carry it for him.

Crucifixion was a torturous way to execute someone. It would be a long, slow death, with nails hammered through the wrists or hands into the wood of the cross beam. He would then be lifted up on the beam and his full body weight would drag down on the nails, which would tear through his flesh.

He would be able to place his feet on a large ledge, which would help him to take some of his body weight from his hands.

RUGBY PLAYERS PUT THEIR BODIES ON THE LINE FOR THEIR TEAMMATES NO MATTER WHAT THE COST. He hung there in agony for six hours until he died. That’s putting your body on the line. Why did he do it? So you and I could be part of God’s team. He took a hammering so we don’t have to. It’s well worth looking into it for yourself this Easter and discovering just how much you are worth. I Lee Jackson is one half of www.leeandbaz.com. In his spare time he runs a speaking and training business (leejackson.biz). Lee and Baz are men’s event speakers and authors. You can follow them on twitter @leeandbaz.

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SPORT

He’s Got the

Whole Goal in His Hands

BY STUART WEIR

Shaun Boggust / Colorsport

C

rystal Palace have set their sights on a return to the Premiership. After a dismal few years of battling relegation, Palace are on the up. The previous three seasons had seen them finish 21st, 20th and 17th in the Championship, and 2012-13 didn’t seem much better when they started out with three straight defeats, conceding nine goals in the process.

But then something happened! Starting with a 2-1 win over Sheffield Wednesday on September 1, Palace put together a run of 20 games without defeat and found themselves top of the league.

Goalkeeper Julian Speroni admitted that he is surprised how the season has developed.

“Especially after the way we started, losing three games and the team was really struggling,” he says. “Then we had some additions to the squad, some new players

coming in. They settled very well and understood the kind of football we wanted to play. Things turned around for us and we started to win non-stop really. It has become a fantastic season, probably the best I have had with Palace in almost ten years.”

Crystal Palace have only enjoyed one season in the Premiership, back in 2004-5. They were relegated after winning just seven of their 38 games. So Julian has unfinished business with the Prem! He started the season as number one goalkeeper but only lasted a month.

“After six games, the team was not playing very well; we lost five and drew one,” he tells Sorted. “The manager had to chance things around, and sadly I was one of the changes.

They signed a goalkeeper, Király, from Hungary, who had a lot more experience than me – international football as well.

“I was not happy because I came here to be a number one. It was one of the conditions we talked about when I signed my contract for Crystal Palace. I was disappointed to lose my place, but I knew I had to be patient and keep

working and at some point I would get another chance. It took two-and-a-half years to get another chance, but I knew I had to be patient because Király was playing well at the time.”

For all his frustrations and disappointments, Julian has happy memories of playing in the Premiership: “The experience is unbelievable, fantastic; playing against top teams, against the top players in the world, in beautiful stadiums. That is where everyone wants to be.

And when you have had a little taste of it, like I did, it is the only place to be.” For this reason, he is totally motivated to make it back there next season.

Julian is from Argentina, so how did he end up at Crystal Palace? Normally foreign players get signed by British clubs because they are stars in their home country, but Julian’s story is a bit different. He was trying to establish himself in the Platenese team in Buenos Aires, but had only played a few games when Dundee manager Ivan Bonetti saw a video of him.

Bonetti liked what he saw.

Julian was 21 and wasn’t an established player in Argentina. He had never been away from Argentina, so it was a big decision to go and try his luck abroad, but he decided to give it a go. He spent three years at Dundee (2001-4), playing more than 100 times for the club.

Highlights included playing in the Scottish Cup Final and then in the UEFA Cup. His higher profile led to him being seen by various English clubs and led to a transfer to Crystal Palace in 2004.

“I WAS REALLY TIRED. I WAS THINKING, I WILL HAVE TO GIVE UP. I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT ANY MORE.” Another significant development occurred during Julian’s time in Dundee. Teammate Juan Sara, also from Argentina, invited Julian to church. Julian and his wife did an Alpha course to find out more about Jesus and a few months later, they both became Christians.

The goalkeeper says: “I was going through a very tough time. A lot of things were not going my way. I was very, very tired and Juan read to me Matthew 11:28: ‘Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest’.

“That verse was very helpful for me because I was really tired. I was thinking, I will have to give up. I just can’t handle it any more. And after he read that to me, I remember I prayed that night and said: ‘God, if you are really there, I want to leave everything in your hands. I want to give my life to you because I can’t handle it any more’.”

Julian sums up the difference his faith in Jesus has made to his life: “Before I used to believe in God but I rarely went to church and never had a relationship with God. When I started to read the Bible and understood the reason why Jesus had to die for us, I saw that it was black or white and that you cannot be in between.

“You either are a Christian or you are not. I understood that salvation is not about what you do, but what Jesus has done for us. He paid for all our mistakes, our sins. That is the

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see my wife and my son, that helps me to switch off and relax, leave it in the past and think of the next game.”

Criticism from the media and supporters can also be hard to take, especially when he feels it is not justified. But Julian recognises that this is part of football, and that players have to learn not to get angry about the things that are written about them in the papers. He has learned to deal with it and let it go.

His faith, and being able to pray before games, helps here: “I pray that God allows me to play to 100% of my abilities; the gift that he has given me that I can use it to the fullest. I pray that he keeps me safe and keeps me fit. I pray the same for my teammates that they can have a good game, that they can play to the full and stay fit. God knows I want to win, so I don’t need to tell Him that, and I know that He always has the best plans for us. So I lay it all His hands.”

The inevitable question is, could Palace cut it in the Premiership if they made it? Julian refuses to be drawn, insisting that the priority

is to ensure that they make it and that they don’t take their eyes off the ball because they are too busy dreaming.

But when pressed, he says: “There is no reason why we could not survive in the Premier League. Teams like Swansea and Norwich went up and did very well. That shows me that you can survive in the Premier League if you do the right things and put the work in. And of course if you have the players.

So if we do get promoted, I am sure the manager will speak with the owners and see what kind of budget we have and see what players we can bring to strengthen the squad.”

Watch this space! I

Colorsport /Darren Blackman

key to Christianity and why Jesus had to die for us – so we could be saved. So I accepted Jesus and started to live a Christian life. I don’t always get it right. I try every day.”

Julian has been recognised as one of the best goalkeepers in the Championship, so what are his strengths? “Concentration,” he suggests. “I work a lot on that because I recognise that mistakes come when you lose concentration for one second. That is when you make a mistake. So you have to work, especially when you are not involved in the game, when you are not as busy as you usually are.

“Sometimes I talk to myself. It is so easy to switch off and end up looking at the stand.

What I do is I just try to read the game, see what is going to happen, try to anticipate what the play could do in the next move and that helps me to concentrate. Talk to defenders.

Talk to players off the pitch. That helps me a lot to focus on what I have to do. Decisionmaking is also very important for goalkeepers, and in the last few years I think I have been quite consistent in making the right decisions at the right time.”

When I ask him about the pressure of saving goals for a living, he dismisses it. “To be honest I don’t feel a lot of pressure,” he says. “I have been doing this for years. If someone said to me, ‘You must go and do a heart operation’, then I would be nervous because I would not know what I was doing. But I know how to play football because I have been doing it all my life.

“To feel nervous before a game, that is common and it has to happen because it means that you care about what you are doing.

The problem comes when the nerves control you. But if you control the nerves, that is fine.

I am excited about the fact that we could be in the Premier League next season, but pressure?

I would not call it pressure.”

However, Julian does admit to feeling very frustrated when Palace lose, especially if he has not played well. “It is tough; it hits me hard because I take it very seriously; I am very tough with myself. Probably I am my number one critic. But after I come home and I get to

Stuart Weir is passionate about Jesus Christ and about sport, and spends his life trying to help people see the connection. He has written several books on Christianity and sport and worked as a writer at the 2008 Olympics, the 2009 World Athletics Championships and spent a month in South Africa watching and writing about the World Cup. Married to Lynne with two grown up children he is a member of Kidlington Baptist Church and Frilford Heath Golf Club.

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SPORT

THEBUNDESLIGA BORROWSABRAZILIAN

BY STUART WEIR

“I

am 100% Brazilian and 100% German” is how Germany’s Brazilian striker, Claudemir Jerônimo Barreto (Cacau), sums up his nationality.

Cacau’s journey to the top has not followed the traditional pathway; he was born in Brazil into a poor family but had a talent for football. “First I learned to walk, then to play football,” he tells Sorted.

At first he played in the streets and then in the occasional tournament. Then, when he was 13, he got into the Palmeiras youth team. It seemed a big step on the way to fulfilling his dream to become a professional footballer. But after three years his dream was crushed when a new coach was appointed, bringing in new players and dispensing with the services of many existing players, including Cacau. “I was disappointed and frustrated,” he recalls. “From one day to the next, all my dreams had gone up in smoke.” He tried in vain to find another club.

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The disappointment did have one significant consequence, in that it caused him to reflect on what life was all about. “Being thrown out of the team caused me to have a good think about many things. I talked to my brother about what the purpose of life was,” says the striker.

“Up to then I had only really thought about football, but the disappointment that my football life was not working out as I had hoped caused me to think about bigger questions. In that moment I realised that God was everything I was looking for. I had always believed in God, but without having a relationship with Him. Now I knew I needed God and I needed God’s love, so I decided to live my life with Him.” It is the ambition of most South American footballers to play for a big club in Europe. In 1999, when he was 18, Cacau received an offer to play in Europe. Real Madrid?

Barcelona? AC Milan? No, Munich. Bayern Munich? No, not exactly. It was Türk Gücü Munich who played in the German fifth division; not exactly the stuff of dreams!

But Cacau was going to make the best of it: “I came to Germany with the mindset that even though it was just

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the fifth division, I was determined to play, train and live like a pro and be ready if the opportunity came to play at a higher level. I had teammates who were talented but lacked the desire. I wanted to be different. So I never lost the dream and that made me live as I did, always with the conviction that I could make it.”

After two seasons there he was signed by FC Nuremberg and he made an immediate impression. In his second game, Nuremberg lost 2-4 but Cacau scored both goals. The following season Nuremberg were relegated and Cacau moved on to VfB Stuttgart. (Not a lot of people know this, but VfB means Verein für Bewegungsspiele, literally ‘club for movement sports’ or, more simply, ‘sports club’).

Cacau is now in his tenth season with Stuttgart, for whom he has scored 79 goals in 242 Bundesliga games.

The team’s best year came in 2007 when Stuttgart were league champions for the first time for 15 years. So that they don’t forget about it, my interview with Cacau in the Mercedes-Benz Arena took place in the 2007 room!

Winning the league title was all the sweeter as Stuttgart had started the season badly and only became a title contender late on, winning their last eight games.

Even then they had to come from behind to beat Energie Cottbus 2-1 in the final game of the season to seal their championship win. When they did, an estimated 250,000 people celebrated on the streets of Stuttgart.

Cacau contributed 13 goals during the championship season, including 2 in a 2-0 win over Bayern Munich and the winner in a 3-2 win at Bochum in the penultimate league game of the season.

Stuttgart also reached the cup final, but that was a bittersweet experience for Cacau when he scored the opening goal but was then shown a red card as his team slumped to a 2-3 extra time defeat against his former team, Nuremberg.

On May 29, 2009, German coach Joachim Lőw, made Cacau a German international when he replaced Mario Gomez with 27 minutes left of Germany’s friendly with China in the UAE. Speaking of the experience, Cacau claims it was: “A great honour to be invited to play for Germany, a great source of joy and a wonderful feeling.

Also, I wanted to give something back, to be worthy of the confidence that had been shown in me.”

So far, he has played 23 times for Germany, scoring six goals. The highlight was the 2010 World Cup. “As a child I always watched the World Cup on TV, seeing it as the most important football tournament and following it closely. To be part of it on one occasion and to have everyone’s attention focused on us was special. I think you only realise what has happened in moments like this after your career is over.”

His World Cup could hardly have started better. In Germany’s opening game against Australia, he came off the bench and scored within two minutes: “That was amazing. I really wanted to play in that game and then at last I got my opportunity. When the chance to score came, I could see clearly the build-up and the ball being played in. f

“AS A CHILD I ALWAYS WATCHED THE WORLD CUP ON TV. TO BE PART OF IT WAS SPECIAL.”

Imago/Colorsport

In 2009, the young player decided to apply for German citizenship, having fulfilled the residence requirements.

He did so for personal reasons as much as for professional ones: “By this point I had been in Germany for years and the possibility of applying for German citizenship was there. It was a decision for the family; my wife and children. It meant that my children would have the opportunity either to stay in Germany or return to Brazil when they were older.”

As Cacau says, it is not a case of German or Brazilian, but both: “My family and I feel at home in Germany. I have learned the language. At the same time, I have not forgotten my roots. My parents, my brothers and sisters and lots of friends are in Brazil. I feel very much at home in Germany, but Brazil is still a big part of me.”

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Ian MacNicol - Colorsport

“I was thinking ‘play the ball in’, then I said to myself ‘please score!’. When it happened, I was overcome with joy. It happened like I was watching a film in my head. I thought of my childhood and all the hard times. It was so special and really impossible to describe the feeling. It was a great moment.”

He came off the bench as Germany lost to Serbia and then was in the starting line-up as Germany beat Ghana.

Unfortunately he picked up an injury – a cracked rib – which kept him out of Germany’s games in the last 16, quarter and semi-finals. However, he returned for the third-place match and helped Germany beat Uruguay, so his World Cup finished with a win, a celebration and a medal.

Cacau was omitted from the Germany squad for the 2012 European championships. But when they failed to impress in the tournament, there was some criticism of the decision to omit a striker with a proven record.

While he has not been picked for Germany this season, he has not given up on playing in the 2014 World Cup in his other home country. “It is a dream for me,” he says. “I have not given up hope that I could be part of it. It will be an amazing event and a great party as Brazil is so much a football country.

“There will be so much excitement among the Brazilian people. But if it is the case that it [my international career] is over, then I had a great time. It was fun. I had so many positive experiences. I met so many people and played with great players. So I would think more about the positives and the good times I experienced than to regret that my international career is over.”

Some people might ask why a successful, famous, rich footballer needs Jesus.

Cacau states: “There is a verse in the Bible: ‘What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?’ I know that everything I have now is temporary and one day it will all be gone. But if I live for God and trust in His Word, those things will last forever.

Jesus gives me security. He loves me. I don’t have to prove myself because He has done everything for me. It is not what I do but what He does that matters.

“Before, I used to think you have to perform to earn God’s love. He has shown me that the absolute opposite is the case and He accepts me just as I am. It was such a relief to understand that all He wants from me is that I give Him my heart and my life. I am really thankful that He has accepted me.”

When I asked him about the pressure of international sport, he dismissed the question: “I always try to remind myself why I play football. It is because I enjoy it. It gives me pleasure and passion. When there is a lot going on, I try to focus on the joy and keep hold of that.

“It is easy to get caught up in everyone’s expectations,

For the latest news on Cacau, or ‘Helmut’ as the Germans call him, see www.cacau.de.

but I try to focus on the joy of playing. I would also say that I am thankful that God gives me the strength to deal with difficult situations. So even when we lose a game or I don’t play well, God is still there giving me joy and showing me the fun of playing and reminding me that I am of value even when I play badly.” I

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HEALTH & FITNESS © Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com

FITNESS With Phil Baines

On the Circuit

I © Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com

know this is the time of year when many of us have been, or still are, ill with flulike symptoms, sick bugs, coughs and colds.

Many of us are facing even more serious illness ourselves or have friends or relatives in this position.

At times like this it can be easy to forget that our bodies are incredible machines. Everything within us is fighting to be healthy and fit. You probably know that there are hundreds of thousands of white blood cells in each drop of blood, and their main aim is to fight disease.

It makes sense, therefore, that we look after our bodies as much as we can. This means eating and drinking the right things. It means

Circuits: work for one minute on each, then rest for 30 seconds and move on.

Neck and head: Slowly and gently move the neck from side to side and rotate.

Shoulders: Using light weights, one in each hand, keep the arms hanging by your side and gently move your shoulders up and down. You can also gently roll your shoulders up, around and down.

Upper body: Press-ups. If you find traditional press-ups too hard, you can try box press-ups.

Kneel on the floor with your hands on the floor in front of you. Lower your face to the floor and push back up.

Abdominals: Plank. Go into a press-up position but then lower your arms so you are on your elbows and lower arms with your elbows under your shoulders. Hold this position for as long as you can. Also side plank: as above but on your side, pushing your hips up.

Gluts: Crab walk. Crouch down as low as you can with your legs a bit more than shoulder width apart and your backside sticking out.

Walk sideways without letting your body rise up (keep your head at the same height). You will feel a little silly, but these are excellent.

Hamstrings/quads: Squats/ lunges. The further back you can sit in the squat, the more you will target the hamstrings as you drive up.

This will also target the glutes.

Obviously, this is just a sample.

I would also recommend using a balance board or ball where possible, as this forces us to balance using our abs, but also works the target muscles much harder.

It is possible to do circuits on your own, but there are lots of groups offering really good circuits nowadays and they are normally very good value for money. The other advantage is the social side and the camaraderie and encouragement you get from working with others.

As with all exercise, start slowly and build up gradually. Your body will be very grateful as you look after it and you will soon feel the benefits. I Phil Baines is passionate about fitness and sport. He recently began a venture called Fit 4 The Challenge (www.f4tc.co.uk), which offers a range of physical challenges for diverse abilities. Phil organises each challenge and trains individuals and teams to complete it, either for charity or for personal achievement or both. Phil is married with two teenage sons.

Calves: Calf raises. Standing on a box with your toes, lower your ankles then gently push up on your toes.

Cardiovascular: High knees on the spot, running with your knees high. Skipping or running up and down on a step-up box.

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© Pixattitude | Dreamstime.com

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making sure we get enough sleep and rest. It is also essential that within our ever-busier lives we build in some time to maintain our bodies: to get fit and keep fit!

One of the best ways to do this is circuits.

Circuits are a series of exercises that you work at for a period of time, perhaps one minute, move on and rest for 30 seconds, then work at the next exercise. Sometimes it will be necessary to target particular muscle groups with a circuit, for example rehabilitation after injury or illness. However, the best circuits will involve exercises for all the muscle groups, beginning at the head and working all the way down the body (see below).

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HEALTH & FITNESS

NUTRITION With Caroline Gerrie

Are You a Regular Guy? Q: A: Q: A:

How many men does it take to change a loo roll?

I don’t know, it never happens!

What do anniversaries and toilet bowls have in common?

Men have a tendency to miss both!

SETTING ASIDE A DEFINITE TIME TO VISIT THE LOO HELPS YOUR BODY ESTABLISH A ROUTINE. So what is normal? For most people ‘once a day’ seems normal. For others, once every few days might be the regular pattern. The NHS website suggests more than three bowel movements a week as a guideline.

The stool is actually an end product of food eaten and digested and it contains toxins, so it needs to be expelled from our systems sooner rather than later! As a nutritional therapist, I believe it is healthier to

encourage your system to go once or twice a day as this rids the body of the build-up of toxins and keep the stools soft but with a definite form.

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M

ost lads have a stream (no pun intended) of toilethumour jokes to share, but can find it difficult to talk about constipation.

We don’t give our bowels and digestive systems the attention they deserve. Each day we carry on eating, drinking and then getting rid of the waste without much thought.

Constipation is your body’s way of letting you know that something isn’t right. The medical terminology is ‘unduly infrequent and difficult evacuation of hard stools’. Of course, any change of bowel habits should be checked out with your GP, especially if there is blood in your stools.

Symptoms such as bloating, digestive discomfort, headaches and a sense of general illness can have a variety of likely causes and one of them could be – you’ve guessed it – constipation. This type of constipation can be likened to a sluggish bowel and is generally caused by a lack of sufficient fibre and fluids in the diet and/or lack of exercise. That’s easy to remedy!

Some Steps to Take If you are constipated, take time out in the toilet. Setting aside a definite time to visit the loo helps your body establish a routine.

Drink! Increasing the amount you drink helps to make stools soft and easier to eliminate. Alcohol, coffee and fizzy drinks tend to dehydrate, so it’s better to stick with fresh juices, fruit teas and waters. Have a bottle of water beside you at work and keep sipping throughout the day.

Increase your fibre intake. Adding two pieces of fresh fruit into your diet on a daily basis helps, and so will increasing fresh vegetables as a side in a restaurant or at home.

Salads and jacket potatoes can be thrown together quickly and are an added source of fibre, plus they’re bursting with vitamins and minerals. Baked beans, lentils and legumes can all be added into stews or soups to boost your fibre levels.

Eat calcium- and magnesium-rich foods. Often people suffering from constipation have low levels of calcium and magnesium, so look at the list on the right and dip into these foods regularly.

Get moving! Taking a couple of brisk walks a day can make a huge difference. Try 15 minutes at lunchtime, and then again at the end of the day. Bowels have a habit of becoming more slothful as we age, and by being inactive the metabolism slows down. Muscle tone reduces and intestinal movements become sluggish, making constipation more common. Just 30 minutes a day will help, and it will keep the heart healthy too!

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn’t budget! I

Calcium

Magnesium

Fibre-rich foods

Almonds Apples Bananas Brazil nuts Brown rice Cashew nuts Figs (fresh or dried) Fish Fresh fruit Garlic Ginger Lamb Pulses Pasta (wholegrain) Seafood

Almonds Brazil nuts Brown rice Tinned sardines, salmon and pilchards Soya milk Goat milk and cheese Sesame seeds Sheep yoghurt, milk and cheese Sunflower seeds

Apples Broccoli Carrots Cabbages (green and red) Jacket potatoes (eat the skins, too) Lentils Legumes (beans, chickpeas, kidney beans, borlotti beans, etc) Pineapple

Caroline Gerrie is a registered nutritional therapist and runs a clinic in West Sussex. She is also a founder of Trade Aid International. In a world of pressure, both in the workplace and at home, Caroline has a passion to see people ‘fit for purpose’, not only spiritually but physically, too. Caroline is married to David and they have three children.

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HEALTH & FITNESS

LIFESTYLE DOC With lifestyle expert Dr Chidi (MBBS, BSc)

Sweet Tooth, Bitter Harvest

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weetie, sugar pie, honey… there’s no end to these sugar-related terms of endearment.

To say that someone is sweet is always a positive, unless it’s a potential girlfriend describing you, because that translates as a clear “No way!”

Despite our love of sugary terms, we are beginning to understand that our sweet old friend is plotting our bitter end!

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Added sugar, that is sugar that we consume on top of the natural sugars found in fruits, vegetables and grains, is responsible for a whole host of health problems. The word “added” is key here. Our bodies need sugar to survive and this is derived from blood glucose, which is a result of the digestion of complex carbohydrates in our diets.

Today we consume about 70kg of added sugar per year! In 1900 it was 40kg, in 1800 it was 10kg, in 1700 it

was just 1.5kg! So our consumption has risen to astronomical levels.

This is why the Western world is now suffering an epidemic of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancer and so on.

If you try to kick the sugar habit you’ll find it an uphill struggle.

Because of the biochemical pathways in the brain that sugar activates, it has been shown that sugar can be as addictive as cocaine!

WE CONSUME ABOUT 70KG OF ADDED SUGAR PER YEAR! One of the biggest culprits for this rapid rise in sugar consumption is the advent of the ubiquitous high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), which is present in many sweet things; especially fizzy drinks. This refined form of fructose cannot be

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HEALTH & FITNESS

HEALTHY COOKING With Chef Mike Darracott

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metabolised by any cells other than those in the liver. This is why HFCS is the second-biggest cause of fatty liver after alcohol. In fact, HFCS programmes our bodies to produce more fat!

With all of this information available, one would think that the best thing to do is to switch to the diet drinks with zero sugar.

However, if there’s one thing worse than drinking sugary drinks, it’s drinks with artificial sweeteners.

These chemicals, such as aspartame, are responsible for minor problems such as palpitations, headaches and abdominal pains.

More seriously, though, they are implicated in conditions such as brain cancers, seizures, strokes, depression and anxiety.

A recent Harvard study showed a link between aspartame and leukaemia in men! Artificial sweeteners are especially toxic for children as their brains are developing and are able to absorb the toxin more easily than adult brains.

The craziest thing about artificial sweeteners is that all the research shows that they cause even more weight gain than sugary drinks!

They increase our appetite for sweet

things, so we end up consuming more. So you go through all of those health risks thinking that you’ll lose weight, only to find that you put more weight on!

So what’s the answer for those with a sweet tooth?

1

2 3

Beef Enchiladas

If you must have something sweet, try increasing your fruit intake

Serves six

Stevia is a natural, non-toxic sweet ingredient

INGREDIENTS 200g jar jalapeno chilies, drained and roughly chopped

Try to avoid drinking fizzy drinks of any kind; it’s one of the quickest ways to lose that gut

450g best beef steak cut into bite-size chunks with any fat trimmed off 1 medium, sliced onion

As a man with a sweet tooth myself, I know how difficult it can be to kick the habit. But by cutting down our sugar intake gradually, our taste buds start to adapt and eventually you will no longer have that craving.

So if you want a sweet life, get rid of the sweet tooth! I

300g tortilla wraps 900ml passata 1 crushed, peeled garlic clove 115ml of salsa 1.5 tbsp olive oil 115ml soured cream or plain yoghurt 90g black olives 1 tsp chili powder

Dr Chidi is president and founder of the British College of Preventative and Lifestyle Medicine, member and advisor to the American College of Lifestyle Medicine, and has more than 15 years of experience as a national and international health and motivational speaker. Email him on drchidi@mac.com or follow him on Twitter (@drchidi247).

1 tsp paprika powder 260g low fat, grated cheddar Salt and black pepper to taste

METHOD 1 2

3 4 5

Preheat your oven to 180°C/356°F/gas mark 4 and grease a baking tray with a little of the olive oil.

Place the olive oil, beef, onions, garlic, chilies, paprika, salt and pepper into a hot frying pan. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook until meat starts to brown.

Add the passata and chilli powder and continue to simmer for six minutes.

Take your tortillas and fill each one with the beef mixture, salsa, olives, cheese and sour cream, then wrap them up.

Bake for around 20-25 minutes.

Michael J Darracott has been an executive chef at various large establishments. He has cooked for more than 200 people at a time, including a number of celebrities, and has published several books. For more information, visit www.chefmikedarracott.com.

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Advertising Sales: Duncan Williams, Tel: 07960 829615

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HUMOUR

ANDY KIND

Stand Up and Deliver

An Open Letter to One Direction Dear One Direction

I

finally got round to accidentally hearing one of your songs this week and wanted to make instant contact with you. Now, I’m not really up on youth culture, so my knowledge of gangster rap bands like you is somewhat wanting, I confess. However, having used the English language with reasonable effectiveness for nigh on five consecutive decades, I do know when it is being employed waywardly.

Anyway, the song in question was so blindingly terrible in its affront that I thought an air raid had broken out. But this fact alone is not the driving force behind my correspondence.

In addition, I heard one of your lyrics and I couldn’t believe my soon-to-be-punctured ears. The offending lyric is caterwauled thus: “You don’t know you’re beautiful… and that’s what makes you beautiful.”

Startraks Photo/Rex Features

To which the obvious response is: “No it isn’t, you gibbering morons.”

Sorry boys, but – and I’m certain you must know this – there is no logical sequential link between the epistemological awareness of beauty and the transcendent metaphysical

reality of being beautiful. And they allow this stuff on BBC Radio?!

If you think I’m being a little unfair, let me use the same formula for a different sentence. See if this makes any sense: “You don’t know that you’re a cat… and that’s what makes you a cat.”

Once again, no it isn’t.

Beyond that, there’s an even deeper societal problem that this song could engender. Let’s say there’s a young single lad who meets a girl who doesn’t know that she’s beautiful, and over time he keeps pressing home that she is, in fact, beautiful. Finally she concedes and

agrees. What are you suggesting he does?

Dump her?! Is that your message?

“You don’t know you’re beautif….oh you do?

Well, I’m sorry, but it’s over. I’m only interested in dating girls with low self-esteem – I’m out.”

Is this what they’re teaching the kids these days? Hanging around with their iPhones and their Tamagotchis listening to this terrible logical fallacy. Is there no hope?

So my advice to you if you are, by some bizarre collision of molecules, asked to record another music single is simply this: don’t.

Please stop, and perhaps enrol onto a philosophy course at a local college or polytechnic. Because as far as I can see, you simply don’t seem to realise quite how terrible you are.

And that is what makes you terrible.

Ken McKay/Thames/Rex Features

THE SONG IN QUESTION WAS SO BLINDINGLY TERRIBLE IN ITS AFFRONT THAT I THOUGHT AN AIR RAID HAD BROKEN OUT.

Yours sincerely, The world

Andy Kind has been a stand-up comedian since 2005.

Described by The Scotsman as ‘terrific’, and by The Guardian as ‘hilarious and wonderful’, Andy has featured on BBC1, ITV, Channel 4 and national radio. He lives in Manchester and is also a published author. His first book, Stand Up and Deliver, is available from his website – andykind.co.uk.

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HUMOUR

JEFF LUCAS

Lucas Aid

T

hey say that it’s one of the most stressful experiences available.

And having just gone through the purgatory that is moving house, I’d say that they – whoever ‘they’ are – are right.

Our loft was like the headquarters of Hoarders Anonymous. I stomped around its humid, dusty half-light, and imagined myself sitting in a circle of forlorn-looking people with their heads down, each of them clutching bin liners stuffed with possessions. “Hi, my name is Jeff, and I like to keep stuff.” “Hi Jeff,” they reply in unison, folding their bin bags closer to their chests.

THE LOCAL CHARITY SHOP RESTOCKED ITS SHELVES BECAUSE OF THE CLEAR-OUT. The loft held few delights or surprises. We found old lampshades that were never attractive at any point in human history, designed by warped individuals who were surely on a hellish mission to make the world an uglier place. We unearthed broken toys that were way beyond healing and ornaments that were cracked and chipped, but had been “too nice” to throw away.

There was a Christmas tree with a two-

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legged plastic stand; it would have taken a miracle for it to look merry again. There was an old suitcase with a zip that had lost its zip and some clothing that would have looked great on Abba. I turned too quickly in the twilight and got a poke in the eye from an old television aerial suspended from the cobwebbed rafters. Deep joy.

There was brief respite when we uncovered the family photographs, which signalled a torrent of oohs and ahhs. We shed a tear or ten over our long-lost babies, all grown up now, and cringed at our awful 1970s hairstyles.

Questions abounded. Were we deranged and drug-crazed when we visited the hairdressers?

And why did I buy that suit with the jacket lapels that looked like the wings of a Boeing?

Did the whole world look that ridiculous in 1973? How come nobody noticed? Would we look back someday at 2013 photos and suffer a similar nausea?

So we engaged in the difficult business of getting rid of things. We sent six trailer loads to the dump and we were able to dispose of some perfectly good things that were no longer of any use to us. The local charity shop restocked its shelves because of the clear-out, and our daughter raised a good chunk of change for missions by hauling the rest of the stuff to a car boot sale. But the process of shedding was not without pain.

We found out that stuff, even relatively useless stuff, is sticky. It doesn’t want to part

company with us without putting up a good fight. While sorting, we repeatedly heard the insane whisper: “You never know when we might need that”. It was a seductive suggestion, momentarily blinding us to the obvious fact that, at the very moment we might need the item, we were unlikely to spend three hours unpacking crates in the loft in order to find it, even if we could remember where we had put it in the first place. The cold truth was simple, the stuff had to go.

It took serious willpower to discard some items, and we didn’t always win; some items placed in the ‘get rid’ pile launched a silent appeal and were taken back into our bosom once more. We found out that stuff demands an irrational allegiance, an unreasonable faithfulness, even a mild form of worship.

But as the trailer went to the dump and the boxes to the charity shop, we felt a strange exhilaration. We had successfully negotiated a clear-out and the somewhat minimalist house that was left seemed to be a reflection of cleared hearts and minds, just a little less cluttered and encumbered.

And perhaps, in bidding so many things goodbye, we found that we did not have to hoard like a squirrel sitting on a mountain of nuts. In a tiny way, the power to possess had been challenged, if only a little. After all, we only really rejected the things that were of no value to us; this was no Mother Teresa triumph over materialism! But we took a faltering step and learnt a small lesson.

This was an education that the marketers and advertisers don’t want us to learn. Things are just things; stuff is only stuff. Or, to put it more eloquently, and indeed biblically: “…Life doesn’t consist in the abundance of possessions” (Luke 12:15). I Jeff Lucas is an international speaker, broadcaster and author of 22 books. He loves to communicate using humour and storytelling. He is a monthly contributor to Christianity Magazine and writes daily Bible reading notes, Life Every Day. Jeff holds a teaching position at Timberline Church in Colorado and is married to Kay.

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The Perils of Stuff

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HUMOUR

CARL BEECH

The Last Word

I

t’s 5am and you’ve got to get out of bed, because if you don’t you’ll miss a plane. Not a great feeling… You know you’ve got a long journey ahead and all you can do is hope beyond all hope that there are no delays or mess-ups.

That was me a short time ago. Having spent the best part of two weeks in India launching CVM there, it was time to get back.

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Challenge 1: Car journey from the wildest and poorest parts of Hyderabad to the new airport just an hour away. Miracles occurred: no traffic and no holdups.

Challenge 2: Negotiate entrance to the airport. On the way from Chennai a week before I had forgotten to print out my eticket (isn’t the point that you don’t have to?) and nearly didn’t get let into departures because my phone was nearly out of charge and I couldn’t get a signal to download the ticket and prove to the soldier carrying a 1950s machine gun that I was legit. This time there were no hitches and I managed to defy the Indian bureaucracy. Beechy 2: the system 0.

Challenge 3: Queue for check-in. There was no queue! Beechy 3.

Challenge 4: Negotiate immigration. No questions and I even got a smile.

Challenge 5: Get through security. There was a minor hitch when a man in a three-piece towelling robe pushed in front of me and then held up the queue as they wanted to search him. This involved publicly removing most of the towelling robe, which totally put me off my breakfast. However, apart from them looking lustfully at my Macbook Air, they decided not to ruin my day and let me through.

Challenge 6: Would the flight leave on time?

Answer: Yes it did, and I got a free upgrade to business class for the first leg. Get in!

Challenge 7: Work out how the expensive seats work and take photos of business class with no one noticing. (Fail!).

Challenge 8: Transit at Dubai airport in about 60 minutes, having to clear security again.

More miracles. I get on the next plane without a hitch or delay.

Challenge 9: Clear passport control at Heathrow, retrieve bag and get on Heathrow express. Amazingly, I got a ticket for the train without a queue at the bottom of an escalator where a helpful man was waiting with a ticket

machine. I immediately got my bag off the baggage thing and cleared immigration quickly thanks to an e-passport that didn’t need a printout!

Challenge 10: Take train to Paddington and across London. I got on the train immediately and made my connection to The North with zero delays or incident. Amazing!

Settling into my seat, I basked in the glory of a job well done. Here I was, after 18 hours, having crossed the world and I was very nearly home. I couldn’t believe it. Karen was ready to pick me up at the station and all I had to do was listen to some tunes, read a book and kick back for two hours. What could possibly go wrong?

You couldn’t make this up, really. I was literally ten minutes from Chesterfield and the train stopped. Add to that no phone signal (having even had one on the plane, thanks to Emirates) and you have a typical British transport and communication systems disaster on your hands.

It’s at times like this that you discover whether you have a well-developed ability to exercise patience or not. I guess we all have our “buttons”. In this case, I held the line and kept a lid on it. Just.

I GOT A FREE UPGRADE TO BUSINESS CLASS FOR THE FIRST LEG. GET IN! That was, until the train pulled into the furthest possible part of the station from where I needed to be, in the snow, with several sets of stairs to negotiate in the ice and with several bags. Cue patience failure and a grumpy face to greet my wife, who had also been waiting patiently in the cold for 30 minutes, not knowing where I was. She didn’t complain one bit. I preach it, she does it! The system beat me. Beechy 0: the system: 1,000.

Being a Christian bloke, I believe that patience is a key quality. The lesson is this: next time you feel smug about something, just be careful. A test may be just round the corner. I Carl is married with two daughters. He heads up Christian Vision for Men (CVM) and founded Codelife. You can follow him on Twitter @carl eech and Facebook.

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Planes, Trains and Autonomy

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