(FREE)
Oh,
the places you'll go! EXPLORE INDY WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS
BROUGHT TO YOU BY Indy’s Child
MORE FUN,
LESS STUFF
6 WAYS TO UP YOUR GIFT GAME
A MAGAZINE FOR YOUNG, MODERN GRANDPARENTS
CONTENTS 12
26
16 departments
features
IN EVERY ISSUE
12
What Kind of Grandparent Are You?
16
The Gift of Experience
18
Grands to the (Financial) Rescue
22
Dealing with Aging Parents
24
7 Childproofing Tips for Today's Modern Grandparents
26
Have a Grand Time in Indianapolis
06 08 09 10
Letter from the Publisher Grandparents by the #'s What's in a Name? Say Cheese! Indy's Grandparents
SPONSORED CONTENT
14
Top Tips for Taking Grandkids to The Children's Museum of Indianapolis Are you ready to explore the world's largest children's museum? Bring on the fun!
20
Grandparenting Children with Disabilities Grandparents can be a big help in families with children who have special needs.
ON THE COVER JJ (2 years) with his Lammy Photo by: Hannah Hilliard Photography hannahhilliard.com
04
Indy Grands Premier Issue
Take our quiz to find out!
Give gifts to your grandchildren that are truly special without loading them up with stuff.
Why you should consider paying for your grandchild's education
The good, the bad and the boundaries.
Before your grandchildren visit your home, review these safety recommendations.
Our top picks for Indy outings that you and your grandchildren will love
LETTER FROM THE PUBLISHER
WORDS BY MARY WYNNE COX
Publisher Mary Wynne Cox mary@indyschild.com
Marketing + Sales Development Trisha Brand trisha@indyschild.com
Editor Nicole Sipe nicolesipe@indyschild.com
Production Manager Karen Ring karen@indyschild..com
Grand Debut In November 1984, the first issue of Indy's Child was published. It was 35 years ago that I graduated from college and joined my mother in her dream to publish a parenting magazine in Indianapolis. At the time, I wasn't married and didn't have children — I was just a recent college graduate open to new opportunities. Fast forward 35 years: I met and married my wonderful husband, Joe, had two beautiful daughters (Wendy and Courtney) and most recently welcomed my now 2-yearold redheaded grandson, JJ, into the world.
Many things have changed over the past 35 years, but one thing has not: my love for my family. When JJ was born, I was just as excited as I was when I had my own children. Being a grandparent is perhaps the most rewarding experience of all. It doesn't require the demands of stressful everyday parenting situations; it is a time to enjoy the best time of your life after successfully raising your own family.
06
Indy Grands Premier Issue
As the publisher of Indy's Child Magazine, I saw a void in the market for resources for grandparents. There are several magazines out there for seniors, but there is nothing for the younger, vibrant grandparent. I personally wanted resources on fun things to do with JJ as a grandparent, as well as other tips on this wonderful stage of life. Thus, Indy Grands was born.
I truly hope you will enjoy the many articles and information that is provided on the pages ahead. This has been a dream of mine and I am so thankful that The Children's Museum of Indianapolis got behind this concept from the beginning.
Happy grandparenting!
Creative Director Katie Clark katie@indyschild.com
Digital Publisher + Events Wendy Hasser wendy@indyschild.com
Business Development Brooke Litherland brooke@indyschild.com
Editorial + Audience Development Tessa Judge tessa@indyschild.com
Billing billing@indyschild.com
Contributing Writers Rachael Dupree, Alexandra Frost, Kimberly Harms, Sarah McCosham, Susan Cohen Strange, Jennifer Thompson
Calendar of Events calendar@indyschild.com
MARY WYNNE COX, Publisher MARY@INDYSCHILD.COM
Indy Grands is published yearly. Copyright 2019 by Midwest Parenting Publications, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is strictly prohibited. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of products, commentary or services herein.
IN EVERY ISSUE
GRANDPARENTS BY THE
55 Percent of grandparents play video games with their grandkids.
s #
81
Percent of grandparents say they play an important role in their grandkids’ lives.
9 out of 10 GRANDPARENTS TALK ABOUT THEIR GRANDKIDS TO ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN.
50 the average age of a first-time grandparent
08
Indy Grands Premier Issue
$179 billion THAT’S HOW MUCH MONEY GRANDPARENTS AS A WHOLE SPEND ON THEIR GRANDKIDS EACH YEAR, INCLUDING GIFTS, HELP WITH EDUCATIONAL EXPENSES, CASH FOR DAY-TO-DAY EXPENSES AND CHILDCARE COSTS.
5
the average number of grandkids per grandparent.
IN EVERY ISSUE
what’s in
A NAME? For many of today’s young, modern grandparents, the terms “grandma” and “grandpa” just don’t seem to fit. For others, these time-honored terms remain endearing. What a grandparent chooses to be called is a personal decision based on a number of factors – from honoring a cultural heritage to adapting the nickname that resulted from the first grandchild’s baby babble. No matter how a nickname evolves, each is a deeply personal connection between grandparents and their grandchildren. We asked our readers and staff members to share nicknames from their family. The results are priceless. Nana/Pap and Grandma/POOpa – Tristan P. Poppy, Grandma T. and Pappoo, Mamoo – Amanda G. Granny and Pappy – Michelle F. Mamaw – Tonia S. Mimi – Cindy E. Yia Yia and Pap Pap – Michelle L. Gigi and Papa for their great grandparents on my mom’s side; Gramma and Granddaddy for my parents, and Handsome Granddaddy for my 97 yr old grandfather.
– Cara K.
Oma/Opa (spicy grandpa), and bà nôi (Vietnamese for grandma) – Van A. Lammy, HoPaw and Grandma, Grandpa. I called my grandparents BB, Bigdeal, Momo, Papap. – Wendy H.
Grandad, Oma, Opa. We refer to my grandma that I never met as Grandma Beth and called my great grandma as G-Ma. – Tessa J. My mom is "Nonna," which means grandma in Italian. – Trisha B.
My kids call their grandparents Grandma and Papaw, and Grandma California and Grandpa California. – Nicole S. Indy Grands
09
IN EVERY ISSUE
say cheese! INDY'S GRANDPARENTS The bond between grandparents and their grandchildren can be a magical one. Here are some photos of Indy grands with their grandchildren that warmed our heart!
Timothy with Pop
Henley and her Mimi
Lilly with her Dziadzia
Amor with Granny Arielle with Abu (Grandmother)
Iris with Opa
10
Indy Grands Premier Issue
Sawyer with his Grammie
Keelan and Gracynn with Grandma and Grandpa
Indy Grands
11
what kind of
Grandparent
ARE YOU? JUST LIKE PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS EACH HAVE A UNIQUE APPROACH. DO YOU LOOK AT YOUR ROLE OF GRANDPARENT AS A SECOND CHANCE AT PARENTING? DO YOU SERVE MORE OF A SUPPORT ROLE TO YOUR OWN CHILDREN? OR ARE YOU SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN? TAKE OUR QUIZ TO FIND OUT!
The best thing about being a grandparent is: a. It’s my chance to relive my time as a parent of young kids. b. I can spoil them like crazy and then send them home. c. They make me feel young again. d. They help me program all of my electronic devices.
When you are asked to babysit, you a. break out your stash of toys and snacks and get ready for a day of play. b. make a run to the toy store to grab all of the latest in kid gadgetry.
12
Indy Grands Premier Issue
c. plan an afternoon of kid-friendly outings. d. hide all of the breakables and cover the furniture in plastic covers.
If babysitting turns into a sleepover, you a. pop popcorn, throw on your jammies and settle in with the kids for movie night. b. plan an all-nighter packed with non-stop action. c. enjoy an evening of board games, reading and a sensible bed time. d. plant the kids in front of the TV until they konk out.
For breakfast with the grandkids you, a. take them out to their favorite restaurant. b. offer up a smorgasbord of donuts, pastries and possibly a bowl of ice cream. c. serve up eggs, bacon, toast, fruit and all the fixins’. d. show them where the pantry is.
When your grandkids have a sporting event, you
c. show up early to keep the grandkids busy while the parents prep for the party.
a. are on the sidelines yelling alongside the coach.
d. mail a card with some cash.
b. wear the team shirt with your grandkid’s name prominently displayed. c. bring snacks for the entire team ... and their opponents. d. call your grandchild after the game to see how it went.
On your grandchild’s birthday, you a. plan the entire party, from invitations to party favors.
You catch your grandkids playing in the mud, so you
MOSTLY A’s:
The Go Getter.
The Yes Man.
You are all in and excited to revisit memories from your days as a parent of young kids.
This is it — your time to be the good guy and say yes to all those things you said no to when your kids were little. And then you get to send them home!
MOSTLY C’s:
MOSTLY D’s:
a. join them! b. grab the hose to help create a bigger mud hole. c. get towels and fresh clothes ready while you enjoy their laughter. d. hose them off and sit them in the sun to dry off while you add another layer of plastic covers to the furniture.
MOSTLY B’s:
The Voice of Reason. You love being surrounded by young kids again, but your voice of reason still wins out.
The Been There, Done That. You love your grandkids, there’s no doubt about that, but it’s time to let your kids play the role of parent, while you enjoy your Golden Years.
b. show up at party time with an armload of presents.
Indy Grands
13
WORDS BY KIMBERLY HARMS
Top Tips for Taking
GRANDKIDS to The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis Are you ready to explore the world’s largest children’s museum? Bring on the fun!
You no doubt can’t wait to take your grandkids on an adventure with dinosaurs, zoom through space and play music at The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis, the world’s largest children’s museum. But before you grab the diaper bag and race out the door, here are some things to consider to make your trip an enjoyable (and memorable) experience for everyone. Before You Go Tiny tots get cranky without their rest, but they’re not alone. Make sure you are rested and ready to go, because wee ones are often so excited that they run from one thing to another.
Avoid lines by purchasing tickets online or over the phone, and save money by purchasing tickets ahead of time with dynamic pricing — the earlier you buy, the more you can save. Grandparent memberships are the best value for unlimited visits all year. All of your grandchildren plus two adults in your household are included. Parking is always free.
Once You’re There The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis is a big place — it has five floors of fun! Before you set out to explore, grab a free map at the entrance or download The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis app. It will help you plan your day by listing the special programs happening during your visit. The app also
14
Indy Grands Premier Issue
features a step counter to help track your exercise and special stickers and filters for museum selfies using #atTCM on social media. If mobility is an issue, wheelchairs are free to use and available in the coat check area, along with strollers and wagons for the kids. Coat check ($1 per item), lockers ($.75-$1.25) and strollers ($3-$5) are all available in the Welcome Center.
If you plan to enjoy one of the professional plays in Lilly Theater or check out the Schaefer Planetarium and Space Object Theater, make sure you get your free tickets at the beginning of the day — shows fill up fast! — and plan around your time slot. The ticket booth is located on the Lower Level. Plan to enjoy a performance after the grandkids have been active, so you all have a chance to sit down and reenergize.
music and TV have changed over the years, and they can tell you what’s cool or hip these days! This is the level that also houses many of the temporary, rotating exhibits.
Level 3
Also, factor in potty stops into your schedule. Sometimes, grandkids want to just keep playing, and that can be a mess that no one wants to deal with! Great news, though: There are miniature kid-sized potties in most of the restrooms.
Lower Level Staff members in Dinosphere will know the names and pronunciations of the dinosaurs that your grandchild loves. The Polly Horton Hix Paleo Prep Lab features Cretaceous fossils that you can touch and scientists who will tell you about where they were found. The Jurassic Paleo Prep Lab features videos of a dinosaur dig that the museum is conducting in Wyoming, as well as fossils from that time period. Grandparents who love puzzles won’t want to miss the chance to put them together in
National Geographic Treasures of the Earth. There, you can dig for faux shards of clay, build a 3D Terra Cotta Warrior puzzle or reconstruct pieces of a broken sarcophagus. This exhibit highlights archaeology with labs that will introduce little ones to science. From there, launch into Beyond Spaceship Earth, featuring videos of real astronauts exercising or playing games in space. Then, gaze upon Fireworks of Glass, an amazing glass sculpture under which you can lie on a rotating couch and look up at the bright colors as though you are a human kaleidoscope. Finally, travel back to 1890s Indiana to learn about the little engine that climbed the steepest incline in the nation in All Aboard.
Main Level This is where grandparents will find the Museum Store and Food Court, and one of the most valuable resources in the museum: the
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
concierge. If you need a Band-Aid, emergency diaper or safety pin, you can get one at the concierge. It is also the location of the Lost and Found and sensory maps that indicate areas that are sensory-heavy, as well as those that may be less stimulating. Symbols on the map indicate if a particular area is loud, quiet or bright.
Playscape is designed specifically for the 5-and-under crowd, and features a sand table, climber, pond, music and art areas. The Power of Children exhibit features information about Anne Frank, Ruby Bridges and Ryan White, and is recommended for children 8 years and older.
Level 4 Level 2 Facilitators in Take Me There: Greece can share secrets about Greek culture and explain how they make olive oil or protect sea turtles. Big, Bad, and Bizarre is a good place to appreciate paleo art and explore your own creativity through drawing or modeling putty. Kids love learning what it was like back in the day in American Pop: The Gallery for American Arts and Culture. Grandparents have found this exhibit to be a good one to look for shared interests. This is your chance to show your grandkids how toys,
Go ‘round and ‘round on the Carousel (rides are $1 per person or free for members) or visit Corteva Agriscience ScienceWorks, which feeds the imagination of the next generation of scientists.
Outdoors From March through October, try to start your visit outside in Riley Children’s Health Sports Legends Experience when it’s not as hot in the morning. Tip: Wear comfy, closed-toe shoes! They’re required for participating in the racing experiences.
Ending Your Day With all the fun that The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis has to offer, it might be hard to leave at the end of the day. Because some kids become upset when they have to leave — and who can blame them! — the museum holds a special End of the Day Parade at 4:45 p.m., led by the museum's dinosaur mascot, Rex. It’s a nice way to celebrate a day full of fun and exploration at the world’s largest children’s museum.
PHOTO CREDITS
THE CHILDREN'S MUSEUM OF INDIANAPOLIS
Indy Grands
15
WORDS BY RACHAEL DUPREE
The Gift of Experience Give gifts to your grandchildren that are truly special without loading them up with stuff. Today’s parent, in an effort to minimize consumerism and focus on the things that really matter, is in a constant battle with stuff. While their intentions to value people and experiences over things is virtuous, this lifestyle often comes at odds to grandparents who just want to treat their grandchildren to something special. The good news is that it’s possible to spoil your grandchildren while also respecting your adult children’s desire to keep household clutter to a minimum. We talked to Indy parents and self-proclaimed minimalists, Maura Mallow and Maria Baer, about their favorite gifts that prioritize experiences over things and that can help you create lasting memories with your grandchildren.
1. Family Memberships “When you need a gift that packs a big punch, an annual membership to The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis, the Indianapolis Zoo or Conner Prairie can provide joy all year long,” says Baer, a professional organizer and owner of The Baer Minimalist (thebaerminimalist. com) and mother to boy/girl twins. While the memberships that Baer mentions are pretty universal, you can also think about the things that capture your grandchildren’s interest. Your family’s resident artist may enjoy
regular trips with you to the Indianapolis Museum of Art: Newfields, while the more musically minded among your clan could get days of fun out of a pass to the Rhythm! Discovery Center. Memberships often come with perks that general admission doesn’t offer, so it’s a win-win.
2. Event Tickets Tickets to a show or sporting event can be a great way to spend some special time with your grandchildren while giving them an out-of-the-ordinary experience. “My mom used to take me to a musical in Chicago once a year and I did go on to pursue acting. It was magical,” says
Mallow, a writer and former blogger at A Serene Space. Broadway in Indianapolis and the Butler Arts Center bring in national shows suitable for kids of varying ages who lean towards the theatrical, as do local groups, such as Peewinkle’s Puppet Studio and the Indiana Repertory Theater. While older sports enthusiasts would be psyched to snag tickets to see the Indiana Pacers or Indianapolis Colts, many kids would be happy sitting alongside grandma and grandpa at an Indianapolis Diesels or Indianapolis Indians game. Pair the night out with dinner at their favorite restaurant, and they are sure to feel like king or queen of the evening.
3. Group Classes/ Private Lessons A great way to connect with your grandchildren is to support their passions by gifting them a season’s worth of classes or private lessons. “I think that’s a
great thing for grandparents because it offers a way for children to explore their interests, while not being a huge investment for the parents,” Mallow says. For classes that offer unique experiences, check out NinjaZone Academy, EPIC Climbing and Fitness, or Sprouts Cooking School. And if you’re really itching to provide something tangible as part of the gift, include materials for the class, as well. Pair dance classes with a new leotard, art classes with a set of paintbrushes, swim lessons with a new set of goggles, or private instrument lessons with a new music book.
4. Tourism Excursions A fun gift for the whole family is to become tourists in your own town. Sightseeing Indianapolis allows everyone to see the city in a new way, while growing closer in the process.
“Just a few weekends ago, we had the chance to treat my in-laws to a food tour [with Indy Cultural Trail Food Tours] in Fountain Square, which was a Christmas gift from this past December,” Baer says. “Picking a date, spending three hours together experiencing tastes of our city, and passing the babies around to snuggle with was an experience that had great anticipation and long-lasting impact compared to a material gift.”
5. Special Time Together Gifts don’t have to come with a price tag. Simply taking the time to arrange a “play date” can be enough to make a kid feel special. Think about how you can indulge in their interests or share one of yours with them as you begin your planning.
Other ideas can include an overnight camping or fishing trip, a homespun tea party complete with fancy dresses and your heirloom tea set, a crafting marathon, or a DIY drive-in movie night.
Fun in Giving “My mom is in South Bend, so she lives away from her grandchildren, and when she comes she brings a bag of library books from her library,” Mallow says. During her visit, the children get to read new books, and when she leaves, she takes the books with her with no extra stuff for the parents to make room for. “The kids go crazy for it! It’s something they can do just when grandma’s there. The bag always comes with grandma, and it just involves a trip to the library.”
If you hear your adult children come to you with their concerns about gift-giving, Baer’s advice as a personal organizer is to listen. “I see a huge up rise in people wanting to be more intentional about what they bring into their homes,” she says. However, she notes that this can seem to take away the fun of actually giving the gift. “If you love seeing the delight on your grandkids face as they open up a present, get creative with wrapping,” she recommends. “Imagine receiving an oversized balloon that is filled with confetti and tickets to see a movie or show with you. I’d wager a guess that this might be their favorite gift yet.”
Indy Grands
17
WORDS BY JENNIFER THOMPSON
Grands to the (financial) Rescue Why you should consider paying for your grandchild’s education.
Whether your grandchildren are attending a private school or heading off to college: Did you know there are benefits to contributing financially to their education? Maybe you have been considering this for a while, or maybe you are thinking of this for the first time. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, there are plenty of things to think about as you decide if this is the right investment for you. For starters, there are tax benefits for grandparents wanting to help with their grandchildren’s education. “In Indiana, the tax write-off is significant,” says Pat Moore, regional vice president with a financial company in Noblesville. “Kiplinger’s Personal Finance magazine wrote an article that ranked the top 529 plans, and Indiana was ranked the second best. If parents, or grandparents, live in the state of Indiana, they have an opportunity to receive a 20% tax credit on their contributions up to $5,000. This means that if they gift $5,000 into their Indiana 529 plan by December 31st, they will receive a $1,000 credit on their state taxes the following year.” The 529 plan money can be used tax-free for tuition, fees, books, and room and board.
18
Indy Grands Premier Issue
And both parents and grandparents alike will be happy to know that these benefits don’t just apply to college. In January 2018, the law changed so that you can use the 529 plan for any education, which means grandparents can help with private school tuition, as well. When it comes to college education, in addition to the tax benefits you receive, you will also be providing your grandchild with the possibility of graduating without the burden of excessive loan debt that so many college students now carry. “According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, prices for college tuition and fees were 169.67% higher in 2019 versus 1999,” Moore says. “College tuition experienced an average inflation of 5.09% per year. Compare that to the overall inflation rate of 2.15% during that same period.” With the cost of college on the rise, it is becoming increasingly difficult for students and parents to pay for higher education. According to a recent article on forbes.com, “Student loan debt in 2019 is the highest ever. The latest student loan debt statistics for 2019 show how serious the student loan debt crisis has become for borrowers across all demographics and age groups. There are more than 44 million borrowers who collectively owe $1.5 trillion in student loan debt in the U.S. alone.”
Student loan debt is the secondhighest consumer debt category, behind mortgage debt, and higher than both credit cards and auto loans.” In 2018, the average student loan borrower had over $37,000 in student loans, which is a whopping $20,000 increase from just 13 years ago. Helping your grandchild to reduce the burden of excessive student loan debt is an invaluable gift that will help to set them up for success in college and in the years to come. So, what steps should grandparents take when they are considering offering the gift of education to their grandchildren? “If grandparents have tax-related questions, I encourage them to seek advice from a tax professional,” Moore says.
For investment advice on what funds to consider, Moore suggests talking to a financial planner or registered representative. It is also good for grandparents to know that the 529 plan can be set up online at collegechoicedirect. com. This online process takes about 10 minutes to set up, and they will need their grandchild’s social security number and birth date. The gift of helping your grandchild with their college education is a gift that will last a lifetime. Not only does it provide tax benefits for you, but it also sets the child up for success later in life as it helps ease the burden of possible financial debt created by student loans. And let’s not forget the undeniable value and benefit of receiving quality, higher education.
And let’s face it: I’m pretty sure mom and dad won’t mind the help, either.
Indy Grands
19
WORDS BY ALEXANDRA FROST
Grandparenting Children with Disabilities
Grandparents can be a big help in families with children who have special needs. Linda Knoderer, an Indianapolis grandmother of four, describes grandparenting as the most wonderful and rewarding life experiences imaginable. She has spent her grandparenting years engaging in what she describes as “modern” grandparenting: attending school events, field trips, game nights, overnight visits and more. She even structures her appointments around the grandkids’ school performances or tennis matches. But the part of grandparenting she didn’t expect was hearing the diagnosis that her 18-monthold grandson, Nathan, has autism. “But life happens,” Knoderer says, and it was then that she felt that her work began. Knoderer began taking an active role in helping Nathan find success through his years of therapy and treatments. “Several years of applied behavioral analysis therapy, along with many other services, helped Nathan become a fun and outgoing individual,” Knoderer says. “Yes, he still has autism, and always will. But he also has many good traits and a quirky personality.”
Through the years, Nathan grew to love sports. It became a major topic of conversation, as he would call Knoderer to talk stats on their mutual fanship for Butler University basketball. A few years into Nathan’s diagnosis, Knoderer read an article about the Autism Family Resource Center at Easterseals Crossroads in Indianapolis. Easterseals is a community resource dedicated to serving people with disabilities to achieve milestones in independence from birth through adulthood. Since then, Knoderer has served an integral role in founding the Autism Family Support Group for all family members and caregivers. The group still meets every third Wednesday in the Autism Center at Easterseals Crossroads. “[Support group] attendees are able to share their ideas, offer help to others or just have a muchneeded night out to decompress,” Knoderer says. She encourages anyone with a loved one on the spectrum to attend. In addition to supporting the founding of the group, Knoderer became a member of the Crossroads Guild, which is a group of women at Easterseals who volunteer and support children’s programs.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
20 Indy Grands
Premier Issue
“It is rewarding for me and my Guild friends to make a difference in the lives of Easterseals kids by displaying compassion and respect for their abilities,” Knoderer says. She particularly enjoys the annual Halloween party, where students of all ages and abilities enjoy trick-or-treating in a safe and fun atmosphere. “On that evening, I don’t see kids with disabilities, but instead kids being kids enjoying the moment,” Knoderer says. Volunteering has inspired her to be a better “Gran” to Nathan and even her other grandchildren, as well. Through her education and opportunities working with students with special needs, Knoderer has established some takeaways and truths that she uses to support others going through similar situations. She openly admits to the struggle and difficult feelings that come with having a grandchild with special needs. “It hasn’t been easy, as behavioral issues and meltdowns were numerous and overwhelming, and sometimes difficult for me to understand,” Knoderer says. Her advice to other grandparents? “Educate yourself about the disability,” Knoderer says. “Do not blame anyone. Support your adult
children emotionally with time, and if possible, financially. Give children with special needs a head’s up about routines and what’s coming next, allowing extra time for transitions. Simplify holiday gatherings by removing sensory triggers that can overwhelm your grandchild. Spend time with the child’s siblings, and teach your grandchild independence and responsibility.” Most importantly, Knoderer encourages others to accept what they can’t change, and love the unique individual for the person they are.
GET INVOLVED Volunteers are welcome in hands-on roles as well as behind the scenes, says Tracy Gale, director of Autism and Behavior Services at Easterseals Crossroads. “Volunteers should be able to dedicate a few hours at a time to provide childcare during group classes, make therapy activities, sanitize toys, organize office materials, or do many other essential tasks,” Gale says. Most days of the week can be accommodated. Applications can be found at eastersealscrossroads.org.
WORDS BY SUSAN COHEN STRANGE
dealing with Aging Parents The good, the bad and the boundaries. Juli Harnett remembers the day she pulled up to her dad’s house and found him on the roof, plucking leaves from the gutters. He was 95. It was shortly before Juli’s 57th birthday. She and her husband Gerry, empty nesters, lived in a small ranch house with their cat, and rented a room to their friend, a finance specialist at a local hospital. Juli’s mom had died two years prior and, though her dad was lucid and wanted to stay in his home, he couldn’t live there alone. He was stubborn and determined to remain independent. He wouldn’t consider an alternate living situation. He was a loner who couldn’t adjust easily to sharing space with so many strangers. So, two years ago, he moved into the remaining bedroom in Juli’s home and there has been no looking back.
22
Indy Grands Premier Issue
I’ve heard this story over and over again. The children are grown and out and on their own. At our age (I’m in the “senior” category), we can work full time or part time — or not at all. We can enjoy the freedom of travel, of going to lunch with little notice, of participating in book clubs or going to the gym. We own our time. And then suddenly, the plan that we’ve had in place changes. Explodes. And the person who took care of us can no longer take care of himself. He either has to live with us or we have to find housing for him. Often, against his will. Ellen Rosenthal’s mother didn’t move in with her and her husband. She didn’t want to move to Indiana from New Jersey. She didn’t want to move out of the home that she and her husband, who had passed away, had lived in for many years. But, as president and CEO of Conner Prairie, Ellen could no longer commute between states. She looked into several options and found an
independent/assisted living facility on the northside of Indianapolis. Eventually, though, Ellen’s mom needed more care than the facility could offer. Ellen had never imagined that she would be in this struggle to “do the right thing” — and not quite knowing what the right thing was. “Those who have siblings have someone with whom to commiserate or with whom to argue,” says Ellen, who is her parents’ last remaining child. “But I was navigating the road on my own.” Ellen then found Susan Wack and Associates in Carmel, whose specialty is geriatric care management. With the help of Jennifer Berday — a certified geriatric care manager in Indianapolis — Ellen’s mom was evaluated based on financial, medical, cognitive, mental and safety issues. They also screened
for eligibility for subsidized services or entitlement programs with the goal of maximizing income or assets for the long term. This was an invaluable service, offering Ellen a partnership in making decisions to give her mother the best quality of life. In trying to keep our parents healthy, safe and happy, we can’t allow them to lose their independence. They are the generation that opened doors for us, which in turn have enabled us to open even more doors for our children and grandchildren. Here’s the formula: If you didn’t like it when your mom hovered over you, she’s not going to like the payback. Pointing out that our parents can no longer physically do things that, psychologically, they feel they can do only produces feelings of inadequacy. That’s when you need to step back for a moment… and breathe.
So, what can you do? Here are some tangible steps you can take.
SEEK SUPPORT. CICOA Aging & In-Home Solutions (cicoa.org) offers local support groups in Indianapolis. The not-for-profit agency serves all of Central Indiana, and one of their many services is CareAware, which offers caregivers support services, either one-on-one or in a group.
IF YOUR PARENT HAS A HOME HEALTH-CARE PLAN, USE IT. Interview the plan’s management before they assign an aide. Does your parent have a hearing problem? Does your parent smoke? Should your parent be answering the telephone when there are so many scammers
calling? If she lives alone, does she need someone to check her outgoing mail? (On a personal note: A friend’s mom fell for phony mail solicitations so many times that the friend had to open envelopes to make sure that her mother wasn’t mailing out personal checks or her credit card number.) If your parent has special needs, inform the representative who will be sending someone to the house.
CONTACT AN ELDERCARE ATTORNEY. Wading through documents when you’re mired in decision-making will cause insurmountable stress. Reach out to professionals who can help. You can’t risk losing your own health — both physical and mental — over this.
CALL AARP. Among the many other resources that you will find on their website (aarp.org), AARP offers a free guide called “Prepare to Care: A Resource Guide for Families.” It includes information on how to have vital conversations with older family members, organize important documents, assess your loved one's needs and locate important resources. You can download it online or request a hard copy by calling 877-3335885.
MAKE PLANS WITH FRIENDS.
Being a caregiver can be isolating. Juli says that the best purchase she has made was a nanny cam. Though she tries to get away when she knows her dad is sleeping, and she doesn’t travel far, this allows her to see his movements and be able to get
home quickly. Her father’s Life Alert monitor is also a good tool, which will notify emergency personnel should he need it.
LOSE THE GUILT. You’re doing a great job. There are times you might feel resentment. There are times you might feel anger. Go get a massage. Go to a yoga class. Write in the journal you should be keeping, documenting this off-the-grid adventure.
Bette Davis said that growing old isn’t for sissies. Neither is being a caregiver.
Indy Grands
23
WORDS BY SARAH MCCOSHAM
7
Childproofing Tips for Today’s Modern Grandparents Before your grandchildren visit your home, review these safety recommendations.
Parenting today is a whole new ballgame. And for grandparents, who have spent a few years living footloose and baby-free, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. But by focusing on a few key areas, Grandma and Grandpa can make their house a safe and welcoming space their grandchildren will love visiting. Manage medications One of the biggest hazards children face in their grandparents’ home is medications, both prescription and over the counter. And many grandparents store medications in easy-to-open bottles or daily medical containers, rather than childproof bottles. Make sure those bottles are out of reach, and be especially vigilant about pill containers that may be on bedroom nightstands, countertops or TV tables. While grandparents may be careful about what’s in the medicine chest, they may not think of what’s in easy reach around the house.
24
Indy Grands Premier Issue
Nix the laundry detergent pods
Watch all water For grandparents with a
These colorful and convenient packets of liquid laundry or dishwasher soap look like candy. And they pose a serious poisoning risk to young children. Swap pods for soap, and keep it out of reach or behind child-proofed cabinets. Other overlooked choking hazards include small batteries, jewelry, magnets, pen caps and loose change.
Make furniture tip-proof Flat-screen TVs and modern furniture are particularly prone to tipping if little ones try to pull themselves up. If possible, mount the TV to the wall, and attach anti-tip brackets or straps to safely secure furniture items. While you’re at it, don't forget outlet covers, drawer locks, stairway gates, and edge and corner guards for furniture. Buy Buy Baby and Amazon have a great selection of childproof basics and specialty items.
pool or hot tub, they probably know to prevent access with a childproof gate. But drowning dangers lurk indoors, as well. Even an inch of standing water can pose a drowning hazard, making tubs, pools, sinks and toilets potential risks. Put a childproof lock on the toilet, drain bathwater immediately and keep bathroom doors closed.
Sleep safely For grandparents planning on hosting sleepovers or naptime, be sure the nursery is secure. Use a crib with a firm, tight-fitting mattress covered with a crib sheet and nothing else in it. To keep baby warm, opt for a sleep sack instead of a blanket. Finally, remember “back is best” — place baby to sleep on his or her back to reduce the risk of SIDS.
Beware of old baby gear The used toys and baby equipment you saved may no longer be safe. From drop-side cribs and old baby seats to toys and high chairs, the rules and
regulations for baby gear have changed. Visit the Consumer Product Safety Commission website to see if your saved items meet current safety rules. For approved items, double check that everything is properly and securely installed, and always use baby items as directed. For example, a high chair can morph from a safe dining space to danger zone if not used correctly.
Brush up in first aid Finally, it’s important for grandparents to be educated in first aid and CPR. Most hospitals and community centers offer parent and grandparent safety classes as part of childbirth education, and these classes cover a range of topics that could be life-saving.
With all the resources available for today’s modern grandparents, child- proofing has never been easier. And while securing stairs and cabinets is certainly important, the best way to keep grandchildren safe is simply to be present.
The trusted resource for Central Indiana families for 35 years.
FIND US IN PRINT AND ONLINE. indyschild.com
Indy Grands
25
have a
WORDS BY TESSA JUDGE
GRAND TIME in Indianapolis
Our top picks for Indy outings that you and your grandchildren will love EXPLORING INDY WITH YOUR GRANDCHILDREN IS EASY! WE’VE GOT THE BEST PLACES FOR YOU TO SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER BEYOND THE USUAL SPOTS. SO, GIVE MOM AND DAD THE DAY OFF AND CREATE SOME IRREPLACEABLE EXPERIENCES AND MEMORIES WITH YOUR GRANDCHILDREN.
NATURE CENTERS Enjoying a closer look at the wonders of our natural environment from the comfort of an air-conditioned building isn’t the worst way to spend a day. And with no entrance fee, nature centers offer educational experiences that are fun and wallet-friendly.
Holliday Park Nature Center 6363 Spring Mill Rd., Indianapolis
317-327-7180 hollidaypark.com With two classrooms, an auditorium for classes and programs, a bird and wildlife observation area, a library and
26
Indy Grands Premier Issue
multiple interactive exhibits and displays, the Holliday Park Nature Center is a guaranteed hit.
Eagle Creek Earth Discovery Center 5901 Delong Rd., Indianapolis
317-327-7148 eaglecreekpark.org/earthdiscovery-center Please note that this is included in Eagle Creek Park admission. Explore the toad and tree frog exhibits, plant and leaf displays, a beehive, nature-based artwork and more. Plus, experts host around 130 nature-based programs throughout the year, designed for all ages!
Zion Nature Center
Brookside Park
690 Beech St., Zionsville
3500 Brookside Pkwy. S Dr., Indianapolis
317-873-8950 zionsville-in.gov/Zion- Nature-Center A house-turned-nature center, this spot is jam-packed with nature sounds, facts, interactive exhibits and live animals, making it interesting for kids and adults alike. Note that this one’s only open on weekends.
An eastside favorite, Brookside Park consists of 108 acres of wooded green space with hiking trails, a family center for programs and activities, basketball and volleyball courts, a pool and much more.
Tarkington Park 45 W. 40th St., Indianapolis
PARKS No better place than the park to let your inner child out! Pack a lunch and head to any of these parks to get some energy out of your grandkids and maybe even take a turn on the swings yourself.
Set in the Butler-Tarkington neighborhood, this park has everything you and your grandkids could want. With basketball and tennis courts, a splash pad, a rock climbing wall, swings, cafe, walking paths and more, all are invited for a good time.
Central Park 1235 Central Park Drive East, Carmel
This park houses the Monon Community Center and Waterpark, as well as 6+ miles of trails; a picnic grove with tables, grills and restrooms; a skate park; a 2-acre dog park; a splash pad; and more (if you can believe it)! Please note that it was difficult for us to pick just a few of the amazing parks we have in the area. Visit parks.indy.gov or carmelclayparks.com to find a park near you.
INDOOR PLAYGROUNDS
ART CENTERS
Living in the Midwest, we know that going to the park isn’t an option all year long. Luckily, Indy has many options for indoor playgrounds, letting you and your grandkids get that same park experience without worrying about the weather.
Art centers create a space for you and your little loved ones to enjoy local art or even to flex your creative muscles and make your own piece of art together to take home!
KidCity at Greenwood Community Center 100 Surina Way, Greenwood
317-881-4545 greenwood.in.gov This two-story playspace boasts STEM-focused activity centers incorporating science, art and music. The center also has open courts for basketball, volleyball and pickleball for those who enjoy a little friendly competition.
Incrediplex 6002 Sunnyside Rd., Indianapolis
317-823-9555 incrediplex.com With over 60,000 square feet of 85+ arcade games, laser tag, an obstacle course and more, this is not for the faint of heart. Lace up your gym shoes and buckle up for a good time!
Indianapolis Art Center 820 E. 67th St., Indianapolis
317-255-2464 indplsartcenter.org Wander the rotating (and free!) art exhibits at this Broad Ripple spot, attend their many events throughout the year, or sign up for a family art class!
Harrison Center 1505 N. Delaware St., Indianapolis
317-396-3886 harrisoncenter.org Have the grandkids on a Friday night? Head to the Harrison Center on the first Friday evening of every month for art, live music and swing dancing!
MUSEUMS Indianapolis has a museum for just about every interest. Take your grandkids to any of these museums and we bet you’ll learn a little something along the way, too. Conner Prairie 13400 Allisonville Rd., Fishers
317-776-6000 connerprairie.org In the winter months, head indoors for some hands-on fun with the grandkids at Create.Connect, Discovery Station and the Makesmith Workshop. When the outdoor grounds open in the spring, immerse yourself in 19th-century life in 1836 Prairietown; climb to the top of a four-story treehouse; fly high on an 1859 Balloon Voyage and much more. With 11 incredible experience areas there is truly something for everyone.
Newfields The Garfield Park Arts Center 2432 Conservatory Dr., Indianapolis
317-327-7135 gpacarts.org Head to GPAC with the grandkids on Saturdays from 12-5pm for Arts for All to create something beautiful together. Plus, it’s free!
4000 Michigan Rd., Indianapolis
317-923-1331 discovernewfields.org With interactive opportunities for kids (and adults!), including “wee Wonders” on Wednesday and Friday mornings; “Cereal Cinema” on select Saturday mornings; rotating and permanent art exhibits; and the large and plentiful outdoor gardens, there’s truly something for everyone.
The Children's Museum of Indianapolis 3000 N. Meridian St., Indianapolis
317-334-4000 childrensmuseum.org The world’s largest children’s museum, this is an absolute must-do for all ages. With five floors of permanent and rotating exhibits, the Riley Children's Health Sports Legends Experience (when weather permits) and much more, nobody’s bored at this museum.
Eiteljorg Museum 500 W. Washington St., Indianapolis
317-636-9378 eiteljorg.org Explore the diversity and complexity of Native Americans in a historical and artistic context. And don’t miss the R. B. Annis Western Family Experience for hands-on, interactive, familyfriendly activities!
Indiana State Museum 650 W. Washington St., Indianapolis
317-232-1637 indianamuseum.org Located downtown in White River State Park, the Indiana State Museum takes visitors through our state’s past, present and future. Its rotating exhibits always give you something new to explore, while its permanent exhibits never really get old. Indy Grands
27