DP-Winter 2016-17

DAYTON

WINT E R 2 01 6/2 01 7

free

WINTER OUTDOOR FUN GUIDE Make the most of those snowy days!

recognizing

head start

programs

ADHD Signs to watch for

How to access all their benefits

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CONTENTS

INSIDE

ages & stages

/// w i n t e r

08 Babies

2016/2017

Laboring with laughing gas

10 Toddlers & Preschoolers

Head start programs

12 School Agers

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Recognizing ADHD

14 Teens & Tweens

Teens and sleep

family 18 Moms

Pregnancy at an advanced maternal age

20 Dads

Single father? You’re not alone

columns + guides 20

22 Local Spotlight

One Bistro

24 Woodland Lights

The path to holiday fun!

27 Winter Outdoor Fun Guide

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Everything the season has to offer!

in every issue 06 Greetings 31 Fun and Wacky Calendar

ON THE COVER Jamie (age 9) Photo by: Flash Photography

{

FAVORITE HOLIDAY: Christmas FAVORITE THING TO DO IN WINTER: Build a snowman FAVORITE SUBJECT: Math FAVORITE COLOR: Blue FAVORITE SHOW/MOVIE:

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}

Captain America: Winter Soldier

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GREETINGS

bring it on winter!

M E E T T H E S TA F F PUBLISHER Mary Wynne Cox | Mary@daytonparentmagazine.com

A S S O C I AT E P U B L I S H E R Katy Mark | Katy@daytonparentmagazine.com

E D I TO R Susan Bryant | Susan@daytonparentmagazine.com

AC C O U N T E X E C U T I V E S Katie Clark | Katie@daytonparentmagazine.com

W E B D E V E LO P E R Wendy Cox | Wendy@daytonparentmagazine.com

A DV E R T I S I N G C O O R D I N ATO R Karen RIng | Karen@daytonparentmagazine.com

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anaging kids’ pent up indoor energy? No problem. Looking for lost mittens…and hats…and scarves. Piece of cake. Dealing with perpetual bouts of runny noses, coughs, colds and flu? Is that all you got Winter?

Veteran parents know how to handle all the challenges this season brings.

All 89 days of it (sigh).

It’s a good thing winter also means blankets of pristine snow begging for a sled ride, ice rinks waiting to be skated across and picture perfect wooded trails beckoning a frosty hike. (With all events requiring hot cocoa afterward.) Want some ideas on where to take advantage of all these activities? Take a look at our winter outdoor fun guide from Five River MetroParks to get the scoop.

What else can you find in this issue? Something for everybody, we hope! How much do you know about the head start programs in our area? These local resources offer so much

GRAPHIC DESIGNER

to local families. If you have a little one at home, be sure to check out what is available to you.

Ever wondered if the fidgety, restless behavior in your child might indicate ADHD? While all kids have their difficult moments, finding out if your son or daughter struggles with this issue can ultimately get them on a path to a better school and home life. Check out our article on recognizing adhd for some insight on the subject.

Maria Tancredi | Maria@daytonparentmagazine.com

B U S I N E S S M A N AG E R Roxanne Burns | Roxanne@daytonparentmagazine.com

INTERN Meg Wynne | Meg@daytonparentmagazine.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Melissa Glidden, Andrea Limke, Jennifer Thompson, Mallory Debo, Mary Little, Lauren Lemons

C A L E N DA R O F E V E N T S calendar@daytonparentmagazine.com

C O N TAC T U S daytonparent@daytonparentmagazine.com

Attention pregnant moms age 35 and older – don’t take offense but you are considered of “advanced maternal age”! What does this mean? Find out on page 18. And do we have any single dads out there navigating these waters for the first time? Get some tips from local men who have walked in your shoes on page 20.

COPYRIGHT Dayton Parent Magazine is published monthly. Copyright 2014 by Midwest Parenting Publications, LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is strictly

There’s lots more so please keep flipping! We hope you find this issue interesting and helpful – and a good way to pass some time on a cold winter’s day!

prohibited. Distribution of this magazine does not constitute an endorsement of products, commentary, or services herein. For information on subscriptions, editorial guidelines, advertising rates and more, visit daytonparentmagazine.com.

PARENTING MEDIA ASSOCIATION

Susan Bryant EDITOR

susan@daytonparentmagazine.com

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2015 Silver Award Winner Design Awards Competition

PARENTING MEDIA ASSOCIATION

2015 Bronze Award Winner Editorial Awards Competition

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BABIES P O P ULAR B I RT HI NG T RE NDS A quick Google search for the phrase “birthing trends” will net the casual researcher results ranging from freebirth (birth without the assistance of any medical personnel) to birthing in a pool with dolphins in an attempt to help promote tranquility.

Among the most popular birthing trends are: N I TR OU S OX I D E OR “ L AU GH I N G GAS”

LABORING

WITH LAUGHING GAS HOW T HE L AT E ST BIRT H ING TREN DS ARE I NF LUE NC ING L AB OR AND DELI VERY by // M E L I S S A G L I D D E N

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aughing gas (also known as nitrous oxide) is useful for more than just calming your nerves at the dentist’s office these days.

According to the popular online pregnancy and childbirth resource WhatToExpect.com, more than 50% of laboring mothers in the UK and Australia use laughing gas as a tool to help manage pain and anxiety during childbirth. Currently, only about 1% of American mothers request nitrous oxide during labor – but that number is on the rise. And laughing gas isn’t the only childbirth trend that’s seen an uptick in recent years. Considering that about 40% of women choose to forgo an epidural (according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) that leaves many laboring mothers out there trying new and interesting ways to navigate the challenges of labor and delivery.

Expectant mothers in the Dayton area are part of this trend too. “We see all kinds of things in obstetrics,” says Brenda Pearson, Clinical Nurse Manager of Labor and Delivery at Kettering Medical Center. “There really isn’t anything that surprises us anymore. If it’s safe, and our patients are happy, we will accommodate them.”

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Similar to what you might find in the dentist’s office, a medical professional places a small mask over the mother’s nose allowing her to inhale nitrous oxide: a colorless gas with a slightly sweet odor. Inhaling nitrous oxide promotes a feeling of euphoria (hence the name “laughing gas”) and is reported to help mothers feel significantly more relaxed and at ease without harming the baby.

Additionally, nitrous oxide can be used as an anesthetic to help reduce pain.

H Y P N OBI RTH I N G The history of hypnobirthing dates back to the 1960s, with the Hypnobirthing Institute being founded by practitioner Marie Mongan.

Since then, millions of women have turned to hypnosis and hypnotherapy in an attempt to manage pain during childbirth without drug interventions. On the website www. kghypnobirthing.com parents can search for hypnobirthing classes, and discover other avenues by which to use hypnosis during childbirth.

L OTU S BI RTH AN D D E LAYED C OR D -C L AMP I N G Proponents of lotus birth claim that leaving the umbilical cord and placenta attached to the baby until they naturally fall off (usually a few days after birth) is a way to ensure the baby continues getting adequate oxygen and nutrients as it transitions from the womb to life

outside the mother’s body. Another option is to simply delay cordclamping until it’s clear that the umbilical cord is no longer pulsing, and therefore no longer delivering oxygen or nutrients to the baby.

WATERBIRTH According to the American Pregnancy Association, water birth has been on the rise for the last 30 years. Fans of water birth say that laboring in water, either in a hot tub or birthing pool, is an effective way of managing pain and anxiety during childbirth. According to the website AmericanPregnancy. org, “The theory behind water birth is that since the baby has already been in the amniotic fluid sac for nine months, birthing in a similar environment is gentler for the baby and less stressful for the mother.”

Regarding these and other birthing trends, Pearson recommends that women print out articles on the options they are interested in and bring them to their physician to discuss, saying that it’s important to do your homework when considering alternative birthing possibilities.

L A B O R I N G I N D AY T O N In our area, Pearson says, “While epidurals are still popular with some of our moms, we’re definitely seeing the swing back to natural options and choices.” At Kettering, a new labor room is currently being designed that will include a birthing tub in order to respond to the large number of women requesting one.

And laughing gas is on the way.

“Yes, we’re definitely looking into the use of nitrous oxide for our patients who want a ‘little something’ to help them get through the birth process without an epidural,” says Pearson. “We’re looking to begin that next year.”

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TODDLERS & PRESCHOOLERS Who do they serve?

Council on Rural Services is the grantee for EHS/HS programs. EHS and HS are differentiated because not all grantees have both programs.

EHS serves pregnant women and children up to age three and HS serves children ages three to five.

Council on Rural Services’ Kids Learning Place (KLP) Head Start and Child Care Center offers EHS/HS for eight counties of Ohio. These programs are available in other counties as well, but through different grantees.

Early Head Start and Head Start TAKING ADVANTAGE OF WHAT THESE LOCAL PROGRAMS OFFER

All HS options are free and eligible to families and include:

by // J E N N I F E R T H O M P S O N

• Part day, part year center-based

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arly Head Start and Head Start (EHS/HS) programs are federally funded comprehensive school readiness programs that offer valuable and often life-changing resources for families in need. Not sure if these programs are for your child? Read on to learn what Head Start can do for your family.

What are these programs about?

“The programs are designed to provide group care experiences for children from low income families or special populations,” says Council on Rural Services Early Childhood Director, Liz Phenning. “Children learn by engaging in hands on, individualized activities planned from evidence-based curriculum. Each child’s progress is assessed throughout the year to ensure all children transition to kindergarten with the skills needed for success.”

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According to Phenning, “To be eligible, families either have a household income under 100% of poverty, are homeless, are on public assistance or a child is in foster care. EHS/HS also reserves 10% of its enrollment for children with disabilities and 10% for children with income over 100% of poverty.”

education (3.5 hours/day, 128 days/year) Head Start programs:

• Screen and serve children with special needs

• Complete health and developmental screenings so that early intervention services can begin prior to entering public schools

• Provide healthy meals as well as nutrition education

• Provide transportation for partday preschool in some areas

• Collaborate with local medical and mental health organizations to remove health barriers for children and families

• Create community partnerships with local schools, health organizations, social service agencies and others in the community in order to create new opportunities for success

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• Full day, full year center-based education (6 hours/day, 1,020 hours/year)

• Full year home-visiting education (46 home visits and 26 socializations/year)

• A childcare option that is a full day, full year center-based education (10 hours/day). According to Phenning, “Most parents pay private fees and/or use Ohio Department of Job and Families Child Care Assistance.”

Council on Rural Services’ KLP childcare program in the Fairborn area is slightly different in that it serves children six weeks to age 12, whereas not all KLPs offer schoolage childcare. If a family would like to be involved with the HS program, they would need to meet HS eligibility requirements.

Why should parents access Early Head Start or Head Start?

“Parents should take advantage of

the EHS/HS program because it is free, high-quality education for their children,” says Phenning. “The teaching staff are degreed and experienced and the learning environments are safe and friendly. Parents work with teachers to ensure their child is ready for school, and with the support of staff, address any developmental, health or mental health needs of their children before they start kindergarten. Parents set personal family goals to improve their lives. They are also engaged in leadership opportunities to build their own confidence and skills as contributors to their communities.”

Jodi Helmandollar, mother of three, has utilized the home-based program and EHS/HS, as well as the preschool and school-aged classrooms. She says, “Each classroom makes you feel like family. They care not only about the child, but also about the family. Family partnership goals are created quarterly.

These goals are set to help work on milestones. They offer comprehensive services and will make sure your child has well-visits and dental check-ups on time. They want to be sure your child is as healthy as they can be overall.”

Helmandollar has seen the benefits these programs can provide firsthand. One of her children had great success with speech therapy and another had behavioral issues that were resolved within months of entering the HS classroom. Helmandollar has been encouraged to set the personal goal of going back to school to finish her BA degree. She also served as an officer on the Policy Council for three years, became a Board Member in 2015 and is now a Parent Ambassador attending bimonthly Ohio HS Meetings. She will be going to Congress in January to advocate for HS in Washington, DC.

How can I learn more about Early Head Start and Head Start?

To find out more about these programs, call 1-866-627-4557 or visit www.kidslearningplace.org to speak to an Early Childhood Service Coordinator about enrollment and to schedule a tour.

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SCHOOL AGERS Signs of hyperactivity and impulsivity: •

Fidgets with or taps hands or feet, or squirms in the seat

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Is on the go, in constant motion

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Runs around or climbs in situations when it's not appropriate

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Has trouble playing or doing an activity quietly

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Interrupts or intrudes on others' conversations, games or activities

Source: a partial list of signs from wwwmayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/adhd/ symptoms-causes/dxc-20196181

RECOGNIZING ADHD W HE N DOE S T Y PIC AL KID BEHAVIOR BEC OM E W OR R IS OME?

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ou’ve likely had more than one moment as a parent when you’ve thought: Why can’t my child sit still? Why does she have such difficulty finishing her homework? Why can’t he control his actions better? Although kids being fidgety, distractible or impulsive are common frustrations of childhood, sometimes they are indicative of a larger problem. Attention – Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, is a term many parents are aware of. But what exactly does this term mean and how do you know if your child should be evaluated for it?

culty sustaining attention, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior.” The key word here is persistent. While many children experience occasional issues with attention or impulsivity, a diagnosis of ADHD requires that these issues are ongoing.

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Fails to pay close attention to details

What is ADHD?

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Has trouble staying focused in tasks or play

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Appears not to listen, even when spoken to directly

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Avoids or dislikes tasks that require focused mental effort

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Loses items needed for tasks or activities

According to the Mayo Clinic website, “Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic condition that affects millions of children and often continues into adulthood.

ADHD includes a combination of persistent problems, such as diffi-

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What are the signs of ADHD?

ADHD is divided into three classifications: inattentive, hyperactive/ impulsive and combined. The most common type of ADHD is combined – a mix of both inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive behaviors.

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Dr. Ryan Macks, of Macks Psychology, cautions parents to recognize that all children (and adults) will struggle with these issues at some point. In order for a diagnosis of ADHD, these behaviors must be observed over time – at least a sixmonth period – and should be impacting a child’s behavior at home, as well as his or her performance at school, in a major way.

How is a child evaluated for ADHD?

Dr. Macks suggests that if you are worried about your son or daughter, schedule an appointment with your pediatrician or family doctor for a conversation about your concerns. Two evaluation methods are common: a shorter approach as well as a more extensive one. The quicker evaluation involves a survey that is filled out by parents and teachers, along with an interview with the parents and child. This quick method may result in an incorrect diagnosis however, according to Macks.

The second approach is more thorough. It involves a lengthy interview plus objective testing.

Ideally, the testing would include assessing IQ, attention testing, and academic testing. A language and/ or auditory processing evaluation can also be conducted if necessary.

If my child has ADHD, what’s next?

There are a surprising number of paths to choose from when treating ADHD. Medication and behavior therapy are commonly used. Dr. Macks says behavioral therapy can be especially helpful for young children. “This is usually family-based as the therapist works with the parent(s) on ways to structure their child's environment to maximize success,” says Macks. Neurofeedback training is a newer option. This approach involves computer-based programs that provide games that are intended to improve working memory, concentration and academic performance.

Jennifer Jaynes of Brain Balance in Centerville, suggests an individualized program that combines sensory stimulation, sensory motor activities and cognitive skill training designed so that the two hemispheres of the brain can better communicate. “When neurological communication is stronger, the child is able to use both sides of his/her brain equally well, and in turn, the child can focus, behave appropriately, and control his/her emotions,” says Jaynes.

All experts agree that if you have a concern about your child’s attentiveness and/or hyperactivity, you should speak with your pediatrician.

Children are by nature active, curious and excitable – and each come with their own unique personality.

It can be difficult to know what is typical and what is not. If you suspect a problem, look for patterns and consistency in behaviors that concern you. Talk with your child’s teacher to see if he or she sees similar issues. Most importantly, know that if your child is diagnosed with ADHD, this knowledge can start your family on a path to receiving the right kind of treatment that can help your child really start to succeed.

ST. HELEN

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TEENS AND TWEENS

Teens and Sleep

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good night’s sleep seems rare in the busy life of an adult, but teens often struggle to get an appropriate amount of sleep as well. Overbooked schedules filled with afterschool activities, homework and time IS A S L E E P DE FIC IT with friends can make it difficult A F F EC T ING YOUR C H IL D ? for adolescents to develop a solid sleep schedule. Spendby // M A L L O RY D E B O, DAY T O N C H I L D R E N ’ S H O S P I TA L ing too much time on electronic devices can also be a culprit.

No matter what the cause, a sleep deficit can develop over time. This makes “During the teenage years, tasks such as conthe body’s circadian rhythm centrating, study(internal biological clock) proing or working duces melatonin later at night more difficult. A than it does in young kids and sleep deficit can adults. As a result, their body also lead to mood tells them to fall asleep later disorders. at night and wake up later in the morning.”

The teen sleep cycle

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turb a person’s ability to fall asleep.

This is because the light exposure from these devices disrupts the circadian rhythm and makes getting to sleep more difficult.” When teens have to wake up early for school, this cuts into the number of hours they have to devote to sleep.

The effects of a lack of sleep Although it may seem tough for teens to make more time for sleep, it is important that they do. A lack of sleep each night can add up and have a significant impact. Sleep deprivation can lead to:

• Being less attentive • Inconsistent performance • Short term memory loss • Delayed response time In some situations, not getting enough sleep can even cause anger issues, trouble in school, increased use of stimulants like caffeine and falling asleep at the wheel while driving.

Improving sleep habits

Research shows that teens need at least nine hours of sleep each night. But many studies have noted that most teens have trouble falling asleep early enough to make this number a reality. This is not because they do not want to sleep, but rather because an adolescent’s brain works on a different schedule than kids and adults.

As a parent, it is important to encourage a change in your teen’s bedtime routine if they are having difficulty sleeping. One of the best ways to do this is by going to bed around the same time each night. It is also beneficial to cut out caffeine and turn off the cell phone, computer, television and video games one to two hours before bedtime.

“During the teenage years, the body’s circadian rhythm (internal biological clock) produces melatonin later at night than it does in young kids and adults. As a result, their body tells them to fall asleep later at night and wake up later in the morning,” says Maninder Kalra, MD, PhD, Medical Director of Sleep Medicine at Dayton Children’s. “Bringing electronic devices to bed can also dis-

Try making good sleep a priority for your child and see the ripple effect of positive changes that result.

The Pediatric Sleep Center at Dayton Children’s is one of a few pediatric centers in the country accredited by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. For more information on sleep, visit the Pediatric Sleep Center page at www.childrensdayton.org.

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MOMS

Pregnancy at an Advanced Maternal Age W H AT MOM S WI TH “MORE LI FE EXPERI ENCE” N EED TO KNOW by // J E N N I F E R T H O M P S O N

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f you’re a woman over the age of 35 and pregnant – you’re in good company. Now more than ever, it is not uncommon for women to wait until later in life to start their families. For moms with a little more “life experience,” your pregnancy may be described as one of “advanced maternal age” (AMA). Advanced maternal age is defined as a mother who is age 35 or older at the time of her baby’s delivery. While many AMA women will have uneventful pregnancies and give birth to healthy children, there are a few risks to be aware of.

Local Ob/Gyn Dr. Stuart Weprin says that one factor that affects older moms is the ability to get pregnant, saying “Fertility diminishes with age and by age 40 the difference becomes significant.”

A woman waiting until later in life to have a baby may have difficulty conceiving and this may limit the number of children she will ultimately have.

According to information on the Mayo Clinic website, several other risk factors can also come into play for an AMA pregnancy. It is possible that you may: •

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Develop gestational diabetes or high blood pressure during pregnancy

all my medication, except for one, and was referred to a high-risk prenatal doctor. I was then placed on two types of insulin and had to perform several blood sugar checks a day,” she says. Although she did not always take her diabetes seriously, she began making her health a priority.

Ultimately, Goodridge was very fortunate: “Not only were we blessed with a baby, but we beat all the odds with a very healthy baby boy. God gave us a miracle.”

Goodridge’s other children include a 26-year-old daughter and a 23-year-old son. She says, “The biggest difference with this pregnancy was my age and diabetes.

Other than that, my pregnancies with my boys were very similar.”

• •

Have a premature or low birth weight baby Require a C-section

The rate of multiple births also increases with maternal age as well as the risk of chromosomal abnormalities for children.

(Source: www.mayoclinic.org/healthylifestyle/getting-pregnant/in-depth/pregnancy/art-20045756?pg=1)

Despite the worries that may accompany an AMA pregnancy, it’s important to recognize the success stories as well. Dayton area mom Terri Goodridge was 46 years old when she found out she was pregnant. “I was told I was pre-menopausal in December of 2015, so when my menstrual cycle completely stopped I thought I

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was in full-blown menopause,” she says. “My diabetic doctor stated the fluttering and movement I was feeling was most likely colon spasms. In July 2016, I went to the Ob/Gyn and found out that I was not only pregnant, but was 23 weeks and 3 days pregnant.” This came as a shock for Goodridge who had many concerns. Not only was she diabetic and had high cholesterol, she had just returned from Cancun where she drank, tanned and was bitten by mosquitos. “I had to have testing for the Zika virus, ultra sounds, blood work and cardiac ultrasounds to test for abnormalities in the baby’s heart. Some of my routine medication I take for my own health was Category X, which is very harmful for a fetus. I was taken off

What can a mom do to increase her likelihood of having a healthy pregnancy and baby? Dr. Weprin says, “The answer to this is the same as for a 30-year old. No drugs, no smoking, be sure [the mother] lives a healthy lifestyle and has the best possible control of her illnesses.”

So if you’re an older mom thinking of becoming pregnant, or are pregnant already – congratulations! Enjoy this special time of life and what lies ahead. By eating properly, exercising, getting rest, keeping stress in check, having regular check-ups and managing any pre-existing health conditions, you are laying the foundation for the best possible outcome for you and your newborn.

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DADS

Single Father?

You’re Not Alone TIPS FOR ADJUSTING TO THIS NEW PARENTING DYNAMIC by // M E L I S S A G L I D D E N

kids,” says Shane, who says his biggest challenge thus far has been the new responsibility of parenting a teenage girl.

When it comes to his son, Shane stays organized by sharing a Google calendar with his son’s mother, ensuring co-parenting plans are always coordinated. “My ex and I also talk to each other regularly to discuss how things are going, and what we can do to help each other stay consistent.”

The key to good co-parenting?

Being calm, respectful and patient says Messer. “Never talk about the child’s mother except to state that she is the boss in the child’s other home.”

Dayton business-owner and single father John J. says it can be a great learning experience for your child to see you keeping things positive and cooperative with your ex-spouse. “Just be pleasant,” he says. “Instead of telling your child how to act, show them.”

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million.That’s how many American men reported themselves as single, custodial parents in 2013 according to Fatherhood.gov.

For many, the thought of single parenthood still conjures up an image of a mother – hustling between the office, home, grocery store and soccer practice with no father in sight. “There remain deeply ingrained notions about roles and position of men and women within the home and within society,” says Ray Messer, a licensed independent social worker with nearly 40 years in practice, and owner of Dayton’s RGM Psychotherapy Resources.

According to Messer, because of these deeply ingrained notions, sometimes fathers can have difficulty finding confidence in their

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abilities to navigate the challenges of single parenthood. “Men tend to see themselves as starting out at a disadvantage because the bias [socially] appears be in the favor of the mother,” he says. “This is not always the case, but is often more so than otherwise.”

What should a man keep in mind if he’s about to embark on a new life as a single parent? The best advice comes from those who have walked this path before.

A POSITIVE APPROACH Two years ago, Shane G., a 36-year-old software developer in Dayton, not only became a single father to his toddler son, but an adoptive father to his teenaged niece who came to him from an abusive home environment.

“It's very hard to have much of a personal life that doesn't revolve around cleaning, working or the

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John says the most challenging aspect of single parenthood for him so far has been striking a balance between the masculine and feminine qualities associated with having both a female and a male presence at home with the kids. “You have to be both gentle and tough. There’s no girlfriend or co-parent around to help create a tough-and-gentle squad. I have to play both parts.”

MISTAKES TO AVOID According to Messer, “Most dads are not geared to recognize feelings and emotions. They often confuse a child’s emotional expression with ‘bad’ behavior and will take steps to solve or eliminate the problem.” Messer says that this can lead to power struggles between the father and the children, as well as fear or resentment.

How can single dads avoid this pitfall? Hit the books. “Become familiar with developmental theory,” says Messer. “Men are good at getting a manual for a car or motor-

cycle, but they won’t read a thing about raising children.”

Shane has experienced some of this emotional dynamic firsthand, saying that failing to see children’s behaviors as emotional expressions is one mistake single fathers should try to avoid. “Sometimes my son and niece will act like things are okay, but inside they are really struggling,” he says. “As a parent, you can't always solve your kids’ issues. You just need to be there and give them the strength to attempt to solve some of them on their own.”

Another mistake newly single fathers may want to avoid? Entering the dating scene too soon.

“Don’t get a girlfriend unless you’re in it for the long haul,” says John.

“I’m choosing to stay single until my daughter can understand how complex adult relationships can be.”

Single parenthood has its ups and downs and Messer adds that fathers should learn to be kind to themselves and accept that they will make mistakes with their kids.

Learning to apologize for those mistakes, however, is key. “The best apology goes like this: ‘You acted badly toward me, and I overreacted toward you; I am sorry for yelling at you,’ rather than, ‘I am sorry for yelling at you, but you acted badly toward me,’” says Messer. “Anytime the word ‘but’ is in a sentence, it negates whatever came before it.”

And Messer’s most important piece of advice for newly single fathers? “Don’t be afraid to ask for directions.” The journey you are on is not an easy one, and if you or your children would benefit from some professional assistance along the way, don’t hesitate to make that decision. A few meetings with a therapist who is well-versed in strategies to help single parents can make the difference between struggling alone or feeling supported and equipped to handle whatever lies ahead.

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LOCAL SPOTLIGHT

one bistro OFFERING A “HAND UP ” INSTEAD OF A “HAND OU T ”

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by // M A RY L I T T L E

Your website says customers can “pay it forward.” What do you mean by this?

Our “pay it forward” concept means customers pay what they can afford. If they are unable to pay, we simply ask them to give time in service as payment for their

What kind of food do you serve?

Since our hours are 11 am-2 pm, we serve “bistro fare,” consisting of specialty gourmet burgers, delicious salads and pizza on homemade crust. On Saturdays, we serve brunch, including eggs benedict, pancakes and French toast.

ave you been to One Bistro yet? This nonprofit “biznistry” is a community café that allows individuals and families to enjoy a meal in a unique “pay it forward” environment.

Robert Adamson, Director and Executive Chef of One Bistro, believes his vision for the cafe came from God giving him the heart to reach out to people in need and the talent to provide healthy and affordable meals. Here he talks about how One Bistro began and how it has evolved to serve our community.

On Wednesday evenings from 5-7 pm, we serve our community meal; service as payment is not required on these evenings. This is a time where all are welcome to come sit around the table and build relationships.

Where did the idea for One Bistro come from?

What kind of opportunities do you have for volunteers and families?

The idea for One Bistro came out of a God moment of seeing the need for a relatable place where everyone feels welcome. We strive to share love, give hope and provide a sense of community to our neighbors, both the privileged and under-privileged. Through research, we found that a lot of enabling happens and we wanted a place that was a hand up, not a hand out.

How did you choose your locations?

We saw both the cities of Miamisburg and Xenia with a huge need.

Our first location was opened in Miamisburg, after realizing the high food insecurity there for children

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What is the role of the food truck? What types of places do you travel to with the truck?

Our food truck was designed to reach into communities and to develop community awareness of the mission and ministry of One Bistro. The food truck is utilized for outreach opportunities throughout the year, allowing us to “pay it forward” to other ministries. Companies and businesses can also use the food truck for events.

Photo Credits: One Bistro

and families. Then we opened a cafe in Xenia because there was a great deal of poverty, drug addiction, homelessness and food insecurity. After the success we’ve had with One Bistro, we believe every city needs a community café.

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meal. Some customers are able to pay the full amount and give a little extra, to “pay it forward.”

There’s also the option to serve the time for your neighbor to enjoy a meal. This concept allows every person to give back to the community in some fashion.

Volunteers are the heart behind our mission. To keep the café up and running, we need volunteers every day in a variety of roles.

Volunteers can provide a meal for themselves and their families, or they can volunteer as staff and assist in providing meals to those in need. Volunteers are also needed to serve our community meal on Wednesday evenings. We gladly welcome all volunteers, no matter the experience or age; there is a place for all gifts and talents. We love when individuals, groups and families come together to serve our community.

For more information about One Bistro or to find opportunities to serve, visit www.onebistro.org.

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WOODLAND LIGHTS

Woodland Lights The path to holiday fun opens for a 24th season

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anta arrives early this year to kick off a month of holiday lights, fantasy and memory-making festivities at Woodland Lights.

At the festival entrance, the new tunnel of light sets the stage for a walk through eight acres of lights and whimsical displays, and leads to the visual centerpiece: a panorama of lights that reflect off the central pond and mingle with the flash of laser-powered images.

PLANNING YOUR TRIP The switch in Countryside Park will be thrown Friday, November 25, generating lights and holiday joy for thousands of families with activities, entertainment, live animals, food, rides for kids and, of course, Santa Claus in his historic log cabin.

Fans of the festival can expect to see the return of popular attractions from last year, plus a new laser light show, a tunnel of lights and a trackless train ride.

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Hours are 6 to 9 pm nightly November 25 - December 23 in Countryside Park at the Washington Township Recreation Campus, 895 Miamisburg-Centerville Rd. Tickets may be purchased for $8 at woodlandlights.org or at the gate. Children 2 and under are free.

A “Lights Only” experience runs December 26-30.

Every night before Christmas includes Santa visits, five kidsize amusement rides, costumed cartoon characters, live animals and festival food. Other highlights, depending upon the night, include:

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K I D S PA R T Y I N T H E PA R K

SPECIAL NIGHTS

The A-Frame Entertainment Pavilion is transformed into a children’s activity area Monday-Thursday nights. Stop by our kid-friendly party!

Pet Nights Bring your dog to walk the holiday path November 29, December 6 & 13

R E V O LV I N G A C T I V I T I E S A complete schedule of revolving activities can be found at woodlandlights.org.

Carillon Polar Express Kids can take a ride through the park aboard the Carillon Historical Park’s trackless train.

Carriage Rides Percheron horses take visitors on a nostalgic tour that’s off the beaten path.

Entertainment Pavilion Performances range from vocal music to mandolins and dance.

Star Wars Battlefront The Dark Side of the Force will be challenged by the Light as the Rebel Legion and the 501st Legion battle for control December 9-11.

Free Friday Festival Fix Families can sink into comfortable seats for a different film every Friday on the Rec West Theater big screen.

A F T E R T H E F E S T I VA L The path closes after December 23, then reopens December 26-30 as a quiet walk through sparkling lights, without the festival experience.

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WINTER OUTDOOR FUN GUIDE

WINTER OUTDOOR FUN GUIDE MA K E T HE MO ST OF E VE RYTHING THIS S EA S ON H A S TO OFFER ! by // L AU R E N L E M O N S , F I V E R I V E R S M E T R O PA R K S

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ooler temperatures don’t mean your family’s outdoor adventures have to end. A little snow and bare trees make for a nature-filled winter wonderland. For outdoor winter fun and exploration, look no further than your favorite Five Rivers MetroPark location. With 25 parks and facilities, there are family-friendly winter activities for all ages and interests. From skating at the MetroParks Ice Rink to snow-blanketed nature hikes, there’s no reason to be stuck inside during the winter months.

Snow day adventures A fresh blanket of snow on the ground provides families with the

perfect opportunity to explore nature that would be otherwise hidden by thick greenery. Limited foliage and fresh snow makes beautiful birds and mammals easier to spot. Taking a casual stroll along one of MetroParks’ many trails gets your family outside and moving, and allows children to experience the sights and sounds of nature during the wintertime.

“Being outside in nature is a great opportunity to explore teachable moments with your children,” says Doug Horvath, Education Coordinator for Five Rivers MetroParks.

“Did you discover something new?

Did you see an animal along the trail? These questions allow parents to start a dialogue with their

children that will excite their curiosity about the natural world.” Plan your next winter hiking adventure at www.metroparks.org/hiking.

For those who want to put some speed into their trail adventures, cross-country skiing is the perfect way to experience nature while getting the heart pumping. Not only does cross country skiing provide your family with cardiovascular exercise, it allows children to practice balance and large muscle movement. Visit MetroParks’ paved trails or flatter hiking trails in Possum Creek and Carriage Hill MetroPark for cross-country skiing fun.

Arguably every child’s favorite winter activity, sledding provides classic snow day fun for kids of all ages. Bundle up and watch your children zoom down large rolling hills after a fresh snowfall in Englewood, Germantown and Taylorsville MetroParks.

Frozen family fun Located in downtown Dayton’s RiverScape MetroPark, the MetroParks Ice Rink puts a twist on a winter tradition by offering outdoor skating opportunities. The rink is under a sheltered pavilion and gives skaters of all ages and skill levels an opportunity to enjoy the outdoors with family. Open seven days a week through the end

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Photo Credits: Five Rivers MetroParks

of February with special hours on holidays, the MetroParks Ice Rink is a must for families planning a winter outing.

Admission to the MetroParks Ice Rink is $7 per person, which includes access to the rink and skate rental. Dedicated rink-goers can purchase season passes for $40 to enjoy unlimited seasonal skating fun, and MetroParks Ice Rink gift certificates make the perfect stocking stuffer. After your skating session, cozy up with a cup of hot chocolate from the concessions area or visit the 2nd Street Market to enjoy delicious, local comfort food.

Grownups and kids who want to learn new skills and have confidence when they hit the ice are encouraged to register for skating lessons. Hosted by Five Rivers MetroParks, lessons are offered in late November and early January.

With so many special holidays throughout the winter, the MetroParks Ice Rink also hosts a variety of themed skating events.

Create a new family tradition by lacing up your skates on Christmas and New Year’s, or let your kids stay up past bed time so they can enjoy a star-late skate.

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Adding themed music to the mix makes for great entertainment, so be sure not to miss your opportunity to skate to Top 40 Hits, Michael Jackson and Disney’s Frozen.

Living history Holiday celebrations during the winter mean children spend a lot of time outside the classroom.

Keep your kiddo’s brain engaged by participating in entertaining activities with an educational twist. Explore the grounds of Carriage Hill MetroPark and see the 1880s come to life with demonstrations, barn animals, a period family farm house and more. Be sure to stop by the Carriage Hill Riding Center to meet the horses and take a winter pony ride.

For more farm animal fun, visit the Edible Farm at Possum Creek MetroPark. Home to chickens, turkeys, rabbits, goats and sheep, the Edible Farm encourages families to learn more about agriculture and local food.

To learn more about Dayton Winter Outdoor Fun visit www.metroparks.org/winter.

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iHEART MEDIA

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D AY T O N PA R E N T ' S 12 Days of Holiday Giveaways THE FUN BEGINS DECEMBER 1 Don't miss out on great prizes!

CHECK OUT daytonparentmagazine.com/12-days FOR ALL THE DETAILS! 30

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WACKY CAL

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