Shifting Gears

by Cynthia M. Brown

The summer solstice has passed and now the full brilliance of summer is upon us. I have been thinking a great deal about change. We watch the seasons change each year and it is almost innocuous. The complexity and miraculous nature of these changes escapes our notice. Our children grow and change and it seems as if we only really see it when we look at photographs form past vacations, recitals etc. Our parents and grandparents age and slow down and we only seem to notice it when a health condition complicates their lives.

We live in a constant state of change and yet, when something BIG happens, a death, a change in jobs, life partners, a move, we feel, somehow unsettled, shaken, unanchored. It is often said that the only constant in life IS CHANGE. AS I start to look at how much change surrounds me and moves through my life, I am inclined to believe that is the truth. It feels as if I am just so deep in the sea of change, drifting on its unending waves, that I no longer notice, unless a storm comes up and threatens to sink my ship.

I begin to feel like I am missing so much of my life because I do not notice the small, seemingly imperceptible changes-my son’s height, his thinning hair; my own graying temples… How much of each season do I really slow down and experience and appreciate? I look back at this very harsh winter and recall the beauty of the snow covered woods and remember how I prayed for spring… What did I miss as I wished away the present moment?

I am thinking now, when did the sun begin to lighten the sky at 5 a.m.? I can’t recall. When did the trees fully leaf and the canopy darken the hillsides in their perpetual summer shade? When will the cool return, signaling the change of the season and reveal the