The Healing Power of Unconditional Love

The Healing Power of Unconditional Love by Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE

Relationships are often challenging, because we so often see things in others that we judge (or are tempted to) or that cause us to feel negatively. It’s especially challenging to unconditionally love and accept people we judge as negative and to have a relationship with them.

We can try to feel unconditional love for these people, but our judgment creates an inner conflict that blocks it and we end up in a cycle of resistance. So instead trying to make yourself feel unconditional love in the hopes of healing a relationship, just focus on healing yourself. That will help you get you in the flow of unconditional love first. Then, from that state, you can be in relationships with people and not feel so judgmental.

If that sounds rather simplistic and trite, consider the often-hidden processes at work.

First, it’s helpful to remember that what you see in others reflects yourself to you. Now, I really disliked that concept when I first heard it, because I interpreted it to mean whatever quality or characteristic, I didn’t like in others meant I had the same quality or characteristic.

Not!

What it means is that you have something within you that needs healed and until it does you may react negatively to people with that quality or characteristic. For example, do you know someone whose behavior “pushes your buttons” but other people don’t seem to be affected by them? That’s because you have something unhealed, so your body has created a trigger to point out anytime you have the opportunity to heal it.

Did you get that? They aren’t intentionally trying to push your buttons. Or, if they are, it’s because they get something from it, you need healed in that

area you react, which gives them a payoff. So, you get targeted instead of someone who doesn’t need healing wouldn’t react.

So how do those trigger buttons work and how can you get rid of them?

Your body’s natural state is health, peace, and joy. Its prime directive is to seek and maintain this state of balance. Trigger buttons bring to your attention to old baggage that needs cleaned up and healed, to bring the body back into balance. So, bless your trigger buttons and those who push them, because they reveal areas you can heal.

When you are triggered, instead of blaming others and getting angry with them for “making” you mad, welcome the opportunity to heal yourself. Whatever it is in them that is triggering something in you is pointing to what needs healed in you, not what’s wrong with them.

Yes, sometimes what we see in others is what we don’t want to see within ourselves, but more often we’ve had previous experiences of being hurt by someone like that and are sensitive and cautious about getting hurt again. So, we are defensive and react using protective behaviors.

By taking response-ability for looking at your baggage and being open to healing it, you are freed from trigger buttons that are controlling you, restricting your life, and creating more negative energy within you. By freeing yourself of your trigger buttons, you can stay in a state of unconditional love and are more immune to the negativity of others.

There are many ways to go about getting healing, from traditional therapy to alternative therapies, self-help resources and techniques, and internal or spiritual practices that can help you release it. The healing doesn’t even have to involve you talking about your past or feelings, unless you want, or it would be helpful for you to do so. There are many alternative therapies these days that bring almost instantaneous relief or healing, so be open to what you find. Each person is different, and each situation can present different challenges within a person. So it might just take a quick “Bless her heart” to help you not be affected by some negative stranger. Or choosing a more helpful interpretation of a situation eases conflict with a coworker. But you might need intense therapy and even neurofeedback over several months to reprogram your brain and body’s reactive patterns when it comes to a mean-spirited relative.

Just keep walking in faith and truth will be revealed to you as choices you can make. Always choose the path that is in the direction of light and love and you will be led to the right person, technique, or practice to help you heal that relationship. Little tests may come, to confirm the healing, then another layer or hurt may be revealed. As you get stronger, you’ll heal deeper hurts more effortlessly. And those around you will either come into alignment and unite with you in love or fade away from your life or awareness.

About the Author: Jody Johnston Pawel LSW, CFLE is an EFT and LIIFT practitioner who is the CEO of Relationship Toolshop® International Training Institute. She empowers those she serves to become even more conscious, mindful, and effective in their relationships, by using her unique holistic system called the Universal Blueprint® for Relationship Success. By attending Jody’s workshops or engaging her as a coach, you can reprogram unhelpful subconscious belief patterns, prevent common relationship challenges, and find individualized solutions that fit your needs and situation.

Having spent the past 30 years as a top-rated speaker and award-winning author, Jody knows the relationship pitfalls to avoid and can show you how to make small changes in your thoughts, words and actions that can produce dramatic --- sometimes even miraculous --- results and help you have stressfree relationships in all areas of your life. Learn more about Jody or contact through RelationshipToolshop. com.