Informative Q Spring Edition

LIVING

The new modern family FASHION TRENDS

What’s old is new... again!

TRAVELING AMERICA

Stories from Asheville, NC

COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Roanoke’s

The Drop-In Center

ALLY PIONEER

Remembering Emily King Holly

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Informative Q Staff Dewey W. Goodwin Jr. - Publisher Susana Muller - IT Director Wayne Arrington - Administration Chris Winkler - Marketing Nerio Gonzalez - Editor-in-Chief Francisco Carrizo Zirit - Editor Fashionista Roanoke - Fashion ShanShan Cooney - Columnist Barbara Maberry - Columnist Spacey Shank - Travel Rodger Saunders - RDC Liason Informative Q Magazine a registered trademark Informative Q.

is of

Founded by Dewey Goodwin and Susana Muller. Copyright 2015 Subscriber services for new subscriptions, renewals, bill payments and and address change, email us to subscriptions@ iqmagazine.com Cover by Ric Wade.

Model Keton Locklear

The views and opinions expressed on this magazine are soley those of the original authors and other contributors. These views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of Informative Q Magazine and their staff, and/ or any/all contributors to this magazine.

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i informativeQ informativeQ

INSIDE THIS EDITION

TM

APRIL 2015

Countryside Western Virginia - Photography by Will Rye

IQColumns

Spiritual IQ&A Adventures with ShanShan Foodie Diva IQ Travel - Asheville

Cover Features

The new modern family Everything old is new, again!

Remembering Emily King Holly The Drop-In Center

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Spiritual IQ&A

Who makes a family?

by Rev. Joe Cobb

One of the volunteers in the children’s ministry at Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge recently shared a conversation between two boys during children’s church: Boy 1: I have a mom and a girl dad!

What do you have?

Boy 2: I just have two regular dads!

Children are so fresh with wisdom and imagination and they always tell it like it is. There is no need for debate, only affirmation of what they know to be true. The creativity in which both boys (boy 2 is my son, JJ) identified their parents is remarkable, candid, honest, and sweet. In their own way, each boy identified the unique and wonderful gift of his family.

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Daddy, James, her Papa (me) and her little brother.

When our two children, Ginny and JJ, were baptized in the beautifully Christian Metropolitan Community Church of the Blue Ridge, my former wife, Rev. Leigh Anne Taylor, stood with us as JJ’s godmother, and our son, Taylor (19) stood as Ginny’s godfather.

Also standing with us was our daughter, Emma (21), her fiancé (now husband) Connor (studying to be an Episcopal priest), Leigh Anne’s husband, Hugh Ballou, and James’ brother Fletcher and his family.

Our families, however they have been formed, and whomever comprises them, are natural formations of Love.

I was raised in a unique and natural family of six people who have no biological connection to each other. My mother, Marilyn and my dad, Bill, who were not able to have biological children, created a new family by adopting four children: me, my sisters, Nancy and Peggy, and my brother, Alan.

When our daughter, Ginny was five, I heard her sing, “I’m so lucky, I have two daddies!”

Ginny’s natural family is her

My parents told us all how we came to be a family. They told us that we were adopted from as early as I can remember.

Their honesty, authenticity and integrity, undergirded by their unconditional love, taught me that a natural family is a family centered in unconditional love.

decided on surrogacy. We selected a surrogate and an egg donor, two amazing women, who supported our desire to create a natural family.

My natural, fabulous family practices authentic hospitality, creating space in our lives for all that we can learn from the divine and from each other.

During our marriage of thirteen years, Leigh Anne and I struggled with fertility issues and looked into the option of adoption. We were delighted when Leigh Anne became pregnant with Emma and Taylor. Our natural family was and is shaped in unconditional love.

From the beginning, we have told Ginny and JJ about how they came into our lives and how, naturally, we have loved them with an unconditional and abiding love, and always will.

As others try and mock our family saying it’s not “biblical”, we respond with hospitality, showing others that when we welcome the stranger into our lives with grace, humility and wonder, we welcome the holy among us. When we neglect to show hospitality to the stranger, our souls will eventually be destroyed by a lack of love.

Even in our decision to divorce, Leigh Anne and I held one another in love and vowed to speak and act in loving ways toward each other for the sake of our children and for the sake of our individual health and wholeness. This vow is a natural expression of our continuing love for each other.

When my partner, James and I decided to have children, we discussed adoption and eventually

Natural families are not created or shaped by law. Natural families are created and shaped by love.

My natural, fabulous family has no hidden agenda to infiltrate the world, unless unconditional love is such.

My natural, fabulous family treasures God’s sacred story and how it continues to unfold in and through us. And, we treasure the model of Jesus who showed that love opens in relationship, not in law.

My natural, fabulous family indoctrinates our children with love, shown to us by our Loving God, our loving parents, our loving siblings, and one another.

I pray that natural love, love that embodies the best and most beautiful of our spiritual selves, will transform all of our natural, fabulous families into a beloved community.

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even if you aren’t going to create a user profile. You should still watch it because it is funny and has great points!

Dating, or the pursuit of partnership

by ShanShan Cooney

Wow, can I just say wow. April is here! April brings with it, as Spring calls is, a few extra pounds from Winter, changes or a renewed sense of the ability to change. We are just finally getting it together to type 2015 instead of 2014 but continues snowballing as much or as little as you make it. Spring brings new resolutions (like the ones that actually remains from new year), new credit card bills, new goals, commitment to continue on the same path, old and new friends, and sometimes new statutes. Sometimes the status is wonderful news of engagement, marriages, expanding families and sometimes it is the status of endings.

It’s this status of endings that I want to talk about today. Now, I’ll start off by saying that I am not a doctor, psychologist or expert of any kind, but what I am is the possibility of a new view point.

Instead of learning a new language, trying a new diet, or even new workout plan, I Page 8

challenge your idea about dating.

Again, I emphasise that I am not an expert, but I think people have gotten caught up in how dating is “suppose to work” and lose sight of how it is actually works.

The first thing you need is two people to meet. Today, there are many, many, different ways that can happen. School, work, at a bar, at a party, through friends, through social clubs, and one of the biggest and newest is through online dating. Yes, there use to be more of a stereotype about people meeting online, but as long as you’re doing it smartly (meeting in public places, not giving all your personal information away through calls, text, e-mail etc.), then does it really matter how you met your better half? No, a few pictures and a well thought out profile description has been the start of many, many great couples.

I think if you or someone you know are still on the fence about online dating, check out Amy Webb’s Ted Talk, ‘How I Hacked Online Dating.’ It is amazing and

The next step is a date. What counts as a date and what does not count as a date really depends person to person. If you’re so worried about it, ask the person.

I also think you should make sure it is fun. If you like to go rock climbing or wine tasting they would both be acceptable options.

Dates don’t mean movies and dinner any more, though those are still options. I think focusing more on doing things where there are plenty of options to talk and get to know someone makes it more fun and enjoyable. Plus, it continues to provide ways to keep conversation going, which meeting new people can be hard.

If you’re going to go somewhere for a few hours, why not make it fun at the same time? Why can your best foot forward not be in a bowling shoe, hiking shoe, snow shoe, slipper, or some other footwear?

Now, I think at least, for all of these dates involving, food, games, brewery visitation or whatever, the check should be split. Yes, they asked you out, that doesn’t mean they should also have to pay for you. You said yes, and if you’re worried about how much it will be, ask the person.

Automatically assuming the other person should pay is problematic for a few reasons. For one, it’s expensive to pay for the other person. Plus, if the date starts to go bad you can cut and run faster. Or, if they are really nice and sweet but you’re just not

feeling it, knowing you didn’t take an extra $30 out of their pocket, might make it easier to tell them no when they call back for date two. If they insist on paying and you offered to pay your part, let them. Or if a tip is required ask to pay for that portion of the bill. It shows them that you’re there to meet them, not just have a free meal or event.

If you haven’t done so already, take a few minutes and figure some of the lessons learned from past relationships. By lessons learned I would say to think about what charistic, habits, quirks, flaws, or behaviors, can you not stand. I call these deal breakers.

Figure out what they are and try and find out sooner rather than later if the person has that affliction or not.

Here are some of my deal breakers (these are my personal dislikes, you will need to create your own list): Smoking Alcoholic/drug user No job/lack of desire to have a job Cheating Jealousy Kids Face tattoos Not wanting to travel Lack of social skills Hatred of stuffed animal There were probably more, but those were just off the top of my head. I had a whole conversation with New Dude about these and what they meant and what his were. Why? If he had a kid, there was really no more reason to keep talking because I know in the long run that wasn’t something I could handle. So why waste my and his

time? Lucky for me, he doesn’t have any kids.

There is no longer a specific date for when you can ask them about both these deal breakers and questions about their family relationship, movie choices, political preferences, desires for a family, current job and career status, or even their last STD test results. Bringing up questions that are important to you will save a lot of stress over Blue Eyes still having potential for being “the one”or just a new friend.

This new person does not have to like ALL of your friends and family. What they do have to do is be respectful to them, of your relationship to them, and be polite when they are around.

Stop asking other single friends dating tips. Or, if you do ask them take it with a grain of salt. The people you need to ask about making relationships work are the ones currently in them. Find the couple you admire most and ask them how they do it. Your single friends might know the best outfit to wear out, but if they’ve continually been single for the last few years you have to stop and ask yourself why. Is it just bad luck or something else?

People who are in the trenches everyday in a relationship can give more practical advice about how to make it work than those standing at the base.

Stop hiding you are crazy, probably that’s what makes you special. Let’s all face it, it’s going to come out at some point anyway. Trying to hide or deny it makes you into someone you’re

not. This then brings the stress of if you new friend likes you or the persona you have now created for yourself. Stop doing it. You can ease into it, but try not to hide it.

In the world of always being connected through Facebook, text message, phone calls, instant message, twitter, instagram, e-mail and all the other ways, have a conversation about expectations. Can you call or text any time, do you have a preferred method of communication, if they go home and ask you to be your Facebook friend will you accept?

If you clear this up after the first date you can avoid the he should call first or wait 3 days before calling back.

People, this is your dating game!

Make up whatever rules you want that work for you. I had a rule at one point that if you had the same name as an ex the most we could ever be would be friend. It’s a weird rule but it was my rule.

Make up whatever ones you want and work for you.

In conclusion of this slight rant.

It is a new year. Take this year and make it your year by making up any new rules and break any rules you like about dating. Watch Amy Webb’s Ted Talk. Go dutch, when you do go out. If you have a question, ask the question. Do not hide the crazy but possibly ease into it. Learn to stay connected the way that works best for you.

Dating is hard. Meeting new people is hard. Making changes is hard. However, if you make it more fun, change the “norms” then it might be something that could change your life to the better.

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LIVING

The new modern family

by Barbara Maberry MSW What is your definition of family and what does your family tree look like?

The definition of today’s modern family is so complex.

The historical definition was a husband and wife, with or without children; however, nowadays, family means so much more.

I have so many friends who are single parents with children alone, same sex families, multicultural families, extended multi-generational families,

transgender couples, and I could go on and on.

Society’s definitions have certainly changed, as have the individual state and national laws governing these units. So, what does your own family story reveal?

My family story is complex on many levels. My wife (Terri) and I have resided in my childhood home for 15 years with my 84-year-old mother, who suffers from Dementia and a long line of medical problems.

I quit working as a social worker in 2011 to become her sole caretaker, as the dementia began stealing my mother’s mind and body.

Now four years later, I am glad to be here because she now has Stage 6 Dementia requiring 24-houra-day care. I am

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so thankful that I can be here with my mother in her last years, but care-taking is all-consuming and can be frustrating at times.

Only two months into the pregnancy we found out that we were having a son...

She needs total assistance using the potty chair, with bathing, meal preparation and medication management. Her mind is completely different from the smart, quick-witted woman I have always known and my heart sinks each time the disease rears its ugly head stealing more and more. Now, I am the parent and she is the child leaving me to feel chunks of my heart deteriorate as I watch her diminish a little more each day, but I am thankful for each day.

In 2013, we decided to have a baby after the gynecologist told Terri, “Your biological clock is

give us a child. His only requirement was, “Just let him know that I’m his father.” So now we had plan A – “having a baby” combined with Plan B – “locating the donor”, and we needed to follow through with plan C – “Terri ovulating”.

ticking away and you only have two good years before your eggs start aging out.” Well, not only did that kick us in the teeth, but we immediately began searching for just the right person to be a donor.

We didn’t care about the race or cultural history for our child though we looked to our gay male friends. Luckily we found one and upon asking, all I remember the man saying was, “Barbara, I’d do anything to make you happy.”

WOW, how miraculous. We found a handsome, well-educated, smart, young and loving gay friend who would think that highly of me to

Then the ovulation testing would begin. He had all the necessary testing done and I planned out the insemination process reaching on line.

We were attempting to come up with how plan D - the “donor process” would take place within the 30 minute limit of keeping the sperm active.

Without giving away all of our details and graphic information, our sperm donor provided and I inseminated my wife at home without any assistance. Guess what, plan E – “conceiving” and EUREKA, it worked the first time!

We became pregnant in October 2013. Now folks, this was the least intimate situation ever and we laughed a great deal that night.

We revealed the news to the families and some of them said we should have considered getting pregnant when my mom’s health was declining and our question, when is “the right time” to have a baby?

The father became much more than merely a donor and

we wanted our child to know his “father” and his extended family.

Our child would be fortunate to have two full sets of grandparents (The biological father’s and Terri’s) and my mom too. Terri has one brother and sisters and his dad also has an extended family, so our child will have a number aunts and uncles. So our baby’s Family Tree would have many branches filled with loving relatives.

We contemplated a name and decided that the uni-sex name would be the same no matter whether a male or female.

Only two months into the pregnancy, we found out that we were having a son and our future was just beginning.

On June 10, 2014, Kaimbrydge McAllister Maberry-Craig was born and he smiled at me from the moment he was born.

Our extended family will give Kaimbrydge so much knowledge and love. He will have a number of our closest friends who he will know as “aunts and uncles”, both gay and straight, who are part of his family as well. He will develop a healthy perspective of heterosexual and homosexual folks. He will learn to be colorblind. He will learn to respect young as well as older people.

He will be an open-minded man.

We will teach him to engage in community service projects that will teach him that you must give in order to receive. He will learn to understand life for young children and older adults. He will see the cycle of life from young to old, from life to death.

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The tale of two tomatoes Flour and cornmeal

by Foodie Diva When you are in the Southern States, you quickly realize that they defnitely hate to waste food.

Simply as that. They will figure out a way to make useful most of nature’s bounty, and in today’s article, we will be discussing Tomatoes, specifically Green Tomatoes, an even more specific, FRIED Green Tomatoes.

in it come spring. All different kinds, including Beefsteak, Mr. Stripey, Romas, Grape Tomatoes, and growing in many different colors now that some heritage tomatoes are making a comeback.

With all these tomatoes planted, sometimes it is a bountiful harvest! They will be devoured out of hand, canned, cooked down into juice, or into a sauce.

I realize that many, upon hearing that, would think of the movie with that name in the title.

However, we are discussing the different camps that make up the Fried Green Debate. There are 2 main kinds of Fried Green Tomato Fans: those who dip their tomatoes in flour and the other group and those who dip into cornmeal, then fry. I know of some that currently even use breadcrumbs but for this debate we use the Flour/Cornmeal camps.

While this is all well and good, sometimes you just want a tomato and can’t always wait until ripe. This is where the tale of Two Green Tomatoes comes in...

Southerners love their tomatoes, which are sometimes known as the love apple. I have even read somewhere that they thought this what Eve tempted Adam with in the Garden of Eden! To that extent if they can gain even a potful of dirt, chances are it will find a tomato plant growing

You slice them thin and then pick your favorite - Cornmeal or flour, to dredge them in. Some people grew up eating them dipped and fried in Cornmeal. They like the extra little bit of chewiness provided by the cornmeal. It also helps to keep it from sticking in the pan. Their Mommas did it

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It was a comedy of errors. I didn’t gently pat the pickled tomatoes mostly dry...

this way, and so they will continue to do it this way.

Flour fans will dredge theirs in of course, flour; sometimes even seasoned flour will be used. It seems to provide a crispier crust on the outside. I grew up eating Fried Green Tomatoes the flour way. A screaming hot cast iron skillet, little oil in pan, some thinly sliced green tomatoes, floured, salted & peppered, cooked until crispy were a delicious way to get a jump on summer.

Our family didn’t let the end of season go to waste...we actually canned the green tomatoes with a little vinegar essentially making them green tomato pickles. I have to say though, in the dead of winter, they were still great fried in the cast iron skillet. It would bring a taste of summer back. I had moved out on my own and was bragging about how great they were, when a friend of mine who had never had them asked me to make them. I was delighted to oblige! I called home and asked for a jar of Green Tomatoes (I didn’t attempt to grow them, I don’t have a “Green Thumb”, that went to my Mother), I brought them home, and proceeded to try to fry them.

It was a comedy of errors. I didn’t gently pat the pickled tomatoes mostly dry, I’d used too much flour, and in the skillet, I used too much oil and didn’t have it hot enough. Can we say a soggy, greasy “Hot” mess! Needless to say, he didn’t become a convert.

After that disappointing experience, I gave up on the tomatoes, only eating them on the rare occasion that I found them on a restaurant menu. I would get so excited to see them, sometimes they were appetizers, and sometimes as a side. I quickly realized, that maybe here in the South, I was part of the minority because most of the restaurants would only serve them dredged in Cornmeal. I must say I wanted them so badly, that I would eat them anyway, always disappointed that they weren’t floured, like the ones of my youth! As I got older, I decided Life was too short to eat food that just wasn’t what I wanted, and pay for the privilege to boot.

I ordered) they all used cornmeal, or panko breadcrumbs or sometimes a combination of both! for my palate, thats the horrors of it all!!!

Sadly disillusioned, I decided that I’d just give up on them, only fixing them when I could get green tomatoes at the Produce stands. I am not a cornmeal fan, just have never cared for it. I was excited when we had SORO Grille here in Roanoke, (sadly they are now closed.) They had fried green tomatoes I’d been told, so I rushed over there only to discover that they used Cornmeal.

It was ok, and they also served it with a spicy topping, but still I longed for my floured fried green tomatoes, then one day

here in Roanoke, I discovered a delicious Fried Green! It was like I remembered from childhood!

Floured, not dredged in cornmeal, and they sliced them thin and cooked them crispy. I could now have them whenever I wanted, as a snack, or the first few times as a meal, since I’d order the large size, and trust me it is so plentyful that I couldn’t eat that all by myself! This place where I found them is Thelma’s Chicken and Waffles at 315 Market St SE, and it’s heaven! They serve them with a homemade sauce, however, in my case, I love them plain, without adornment!

It is so great to be able get them when I’m short on time, and need a fix!

I paid a visit to Charleston, S.C. and thought I’d search out some Fried Green Tomatoes there. I was sure that they’d cook them in Flour, like I grew up on. Imagine my disappointment when I asked at several different restaurants, (I learned to ask before Page 13

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FASHION TRENDS

Everything old is new again

by Sandee McGlaun for Fashionista Roanoke

Vintage fashions have high style appeal because they make a fashion statement that is at once timeless and classic, yet always on trend. Some materials, cuts, and embellishments are eternally in style.

needs more of both! A wellplaced bow makes the back of an otherwise simple dress delightfully surprising. And sculptural hats and beaded beanies are wearable, face-framing works of art,

Leather: A slim-cut tan leather jacket is dapper yet sexy. Paired with a sharp leather crossbody bag, it looks effortlessly cool. Black leather, on the other hand, is always hot. Mate a black leather vest with slim black leggings and add a tribal-inspired statement necklace: elegant edge.

Beads and fringe: These two elements may recall the glamour of a 1920s flapper or reflect 1960s hippie-chic. Opt for neutral tones like ivory and pale pastels to let the texture make the statement and keep the focus on the fabric, its movement and sparkle.

Crochet and embroidery: Vintage clothing often features high quality, unique features such as hand-knit or -crocheted accessories, or hand-embroidered flowers and trim. They quite literally don’t make ‘em like that anymore. If you’re looking for an original look, you won’t find anywhere else vintage fashions are the find.

Big bows and hats: The world Page 15

simultaneously playful and sophisticated. Not to mention that they’re awesome distractions from the inevitable bad-hair day….

Jewel tones: Bright cobalt blue, rose quartz pink, warm gold accessories—rich jewel tones turn heads and never go out of style. Whether you stop everyone in their tracks with head-to-toe color or provide just a pop in a necklace or top, color always catches the eye.

MODELS 1. Aleisha Lynch 2. Inez Gray 3. Anissa Danielle 4. Chwanda Burch 5. Jill Moran 6. Rachel Sere 7. Tanisha Reddick 8. Josh Eubank Page 16

FEATURED RETAILER Birdy’s Loft Downtown Roanoke - first floor of Center in the Square.

PHOTOGRAPHER Randy Payne LOCATION The home of Mark and Kathi Hotsetter located 544 Day Ave. in Old Southwest

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1979 - 2015

Remembering Emily King Holly

by Dewey Goodwin Before there was Informative Q, there was the Roanoke Gayzette, a publication from the Drop-In Center.

Behind those pages was Emily King Holly. She dedicate herself as a strong advocate for HIV/ AIDS and to strengthen the LGBT community of SWVA, but most of all she was a friend.

For many years Emily dedicated her work for the Drop-In Center, she dedicated long hours gathering together material for the Gayzette, but she also worked on HIV and other diseases testing, passing on the message of safe sex and helped the fight towards eliminating the stigma against HIV/AIDS. With a heavy heart it saddens us to hear of her passing. She battled against cancer and sadly she passed away on Friday April 3rd, 2015.

Emily may have left us but her legacy will continue to shine within the walls of the Drop-In Center. The SWVA community lost a magical soul but gained a guardian angel.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to her family and friends, she will be missed by all who knew her.

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TRAVEL

Stories from Asheville, NC

by Spacey Shanks

Greetings from Asheville, a most diverse, congenial city. Our visit started with us stopping off at the Visitor’s Center for North Carolina, about 20 miles outside of Asheville to see if we could get a place to stay, and found out that most of the places to stay were booked due to festivals nearby.

While we were talking about what to do, a couple of ladies said that they had a room downtown, and I asked them if they knew why it was so booked up and they joked with me, that it was Run Naked through Asheville weekend! I was surprised and responded, ”Wow, well I hope they have a lot of sunglasses! I’d blind them!” We wound up getting one of the last rooms at an older hotel, Mount Vue Motel, that boasted Color TV – RCA! It was very, very vintage, near the tunnel and was about 5 minutes from downtown. Like they say, Everyone is welcome in Asheville!

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On my last visit, prior to this one, I noticed a t-shirt that stated Asheville – Where Old Age meets New Age. Unfortunately I didn’t snag a photo of it. It is certainly true though that Old Age meets New Age, as you look around the city you see the lovely old homes reinventing themselves into Bed and Breakfasts, which also offer a taste of Southern Hospitality.

A previous visit, we stayed at A Bed of Roses, (abedofroses. com) which at the time, offered a foodie tour and they also had old furniture that was repurposed from old movie sets (which they won at auction), beautiful Victorian pieces. Pay a visit and I’m sure they will share that information with you. They are rightfully proud of their place and it is only minutes from downtown.

They only have 5 bedrooms, though, so book early. Asheville’s famous landmark, perhaps you have heard of it; Biltmore House

and Gardens. It is wonderful, and they have several tour options including some behind the scenes tours, they have a winery, and the thing I am most entranced by is the astounding Library! It houses 16th century tapestries, and the books, all those lovely, glorious books! The library is a sight to behold.

We visited the greens which are in the center of town and they had an Odawalla Festival of Curiosities and Oddities going on in which various vendors were selling their wares, Tarot card readings were being offered, and musicians were playing music for tips. Everyone was very friendly and most spoke to you offering you discounts if you were interested. There were several “Pop-up” stores where you could get costumes/ vintage clothes to dress in for Halloween, or just in general if you like to make a statement!

They repurposed several old

department stores like Kress’ and WoolWorth’s. In Woolworth’s they kept the old Counter and you could get floats, ice cream among other products, from the very friendly counter people that were working. The rest of the store is open to a diverse group of Vendors with everything from photography, jewelry, lamps, and pottery, two stories worth! They had a place for those of us who love Chocolate and the name says it all: Chocolate Fetish!

So many kinds of chocolate! So many creations! For the Shoe Fetish friend; chocolate high heels, cowboy boots, hiking boots, for the Sea Lover, they had a wonderful display of Chocolate Seashells, and only one shell, which you were challenged to find, was real. They are located on 36 Haywood St, and they are definitely Customer 1st kind of people!

In the Grove Arcade you find all sorts of goodies, including an eclectic art studio called ZaPow. I really liked their sign that said not to take pictures of their

art, as it was like stealing the food from the mouths of their children and Puppies, adorable precious puppies. It made you giggle, but at the same time got the point across without being grouchy! I liked the paintings of the Unicorn/Pegasus that stated sometimes being the different one is a good thing! Positive reinforcement if one ever needed it!

work and are for sale, and play...

They even have used old Pinballs for sale. So if that significant other needs a stainless steel pair, you can get them ($6.00 a pair, and yes, we bought a pair!)

The Grove also houses a make-up place which states it’s time for a new look, “Drag” yourself on in!

Gotta love the sly nod to the Drag Artists out there! They have a store that sells lamps, which was closing when I got to it, so I didn’t get to look around, but it showed a nice selection from what I could see from the windows.

Everywhere I went I saw so many different kinds of people, milling about, snoozing on the green, , and being the University of North Carolina-Asheville nearby also adds to the diversity.

Everyone, no matter what their tastes and likes are, is welcome in Asheville! Case in point, they even have a pinball museum!

Once a hotel, The Asheville Pinball Museum is another historical building, as it has all sorts of vintage machines, many of which

The Owner is friendly and very knowledgeable about the machines. He’ll be happy to answer any question pinballrelated you might happen to have.

They seem to have a live-and-letlive attitude there. They welcome everybody and have several tour buses to go around the city. They have the Southern Hospitality attitude which shows in their helpfulness to recommend great places to eat, directions if you happen to be lost, and willingness to talk to strangers. No wonder it’s considered one of the best places to live in the United States!

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COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT Meet Pam Meador, Director of

The Drop In Center

by Nerio Gonzalez and Rodger Saunders.

Collaboration by Alexis K. Salad-Kelly We had the opportunity to sit with Pam Meador, director of Roanoke’s Drop-In Center, a program that is part of the Council of Community Services focused not only in the city of Roanoke, but also covers the Southwestern Virginia.

She has been working in the HIV field for the last 14 years. Before being part of the center, she dedicated her time to accounting.

She dediced to go back to school where, in the year 2000, she received her bachelor’s degree in Social Work.

She started her internship at the Council, working in the AIDS Council of Western Virginia without ever leaving the organization. Through the years, she has served on numerous community boards and committees including the following: The City of Roanoke Continuum of Care for Homelessness; Roanoke City Prevention Task Force; Roanoke Pride; Fellowship Bowling League (Secretary/Treasurer); World AIDS Day Committee (Chair); Special Projects of National Significance (HRSA/CDC/VDH); and several Community Advisory Boards dealing with public/social issues.

She stated that she has worked Page 24

professionally in the HIV field since 2001. She has also been a safe sex advocate as far back as the 1980’s. Which shows her dedication and passion for the work she does.

Inside the Drop-In Center her role starts out as head of administrative management, by overseeing seven HIV prevention

The Center counts with a small food pantry (which is not funded by the program but from donations of singular and organizations) and care grants: Testing, HIV Prevention and Education, Grant Writer, Staff Evaluation and Supervision as well as other day to day tasks.

She has the opportunity to share the work she does with different professional staff such as: Ann Sprouse is the Assistant Director of the Center and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts. She is the coordinator for the Prevention for Positives program and is the facilitator of

the HIV-positive support group.

She also provides daily oversight for six HIV prevention programs and quality assurance measures.

Ann has been with the Council for 15 years and with the Center for 7 years.

Mary Caps is the Program Coordinator for our CHARLI (Comprehensive HIV/AIDS Resources and Linkages for Inmates) program and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work.

Mary provides HIV/Hepatitis C testing, education and case management services in jails and prisons across Southwest Virginia.

Mary has been with the Center for 6 years and also did her BSW internship at the Center.

Irene Bethel is the Program Coordinator for HPACC (HIV Prevention among Communities of Color) and CAPUS (Care and Prevention in the United States) and holds an Associate’s degree in Mental Health. She is also the coordinator of the Condom Distribution program for both programs and chairs the HIV Stigma Reduction Community Advisory Board. Irene has been with the Center 4 years and also did her associate’s degree internship at the Center. She is currently completing her Bachelor’s degree in Social Work.

Jeff Crooke is the Program Coordinator for Ryan White Part B Services and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts. Jeff coordinates and monitors RWB providers across Southwest Virginia. Jeff has been with the Council for two years and with the Center for one.

Caitlin Draper is the Program Administrative Assistant and has been with the Center for two and a half years. Cate handles all the data collection and reporting at the Center and is in training to become a testing specialist.

Carl Jones is a Project Specialist and provides education, outreach and testing under multiple programs including, CHARLI, HPACC, MSM (Men who have Sex with Men) and the testing program. Carl has been with the Center for seven years.

Ronnie St Clair is a Project Specialist and provides individual and group level education, outreach and testing under multiple programs including

MSM, ASE (AIDS Services and Education), and the testing program.

He also oversees all quality assurance measures for HIV and Hepatitis C testing at the Center. Ronnie has been with the Center for a total of four years.

Colin Dwyer is a Program Specialist for CHARLI, ASE and the testing program and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Liberal Arts. Colin has been with the center for six months.

Emily King was Project Specialist and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work. Emily worked parttime and focused on the testing program. She had been with the Center for 9 years counting her original volunteer time.

Sadly she is no longer within the organization, she lost her battle to cancer and passed away on April 3rd, 2015.

Mentioning about the beginnings of the Drop-In Center, Meador said it was the result of a 7-year personal dream before opening its doors in 2004.

Being interested in research and program development, Meador said, “The first years before the creation of the program, there wasn’t opportunity to open it (the Drop-In Center) until the CDC put out a Request for Proposals for HIV Prevention and Testing in Community Based Organizations.

That gave an opportunity to create the program through writing a grant. She mentioned being very excited but also scared to death, because even though she wanted to write grants, she admitted not having the knowledge of how to start it.

Then, supported by her president at that time, she wrote a proposal for the funding of the program strictly as a learning experience.

Strangely enough that ended up, being, the grant approval from the CDC for the Drop-In Center. The location of the first headquarters was the big warehouse on Church Ave. Later Page 25

on, and due to the termination of the funding from the CDC, it got relocated to the current headquarters, 356 Campbell Ave in downtown Roanoke 4 years ago.

The Drop-In Center provides many services, all grounded in HIV, STD and Hepatitis prevention, testing and care services. It serves all populations and there is no charge for any of the services that are provided in this center.

Besides providing testing and counseling for HIV and Hepatitis, the Center provides several levels of care and assistance.

Individual counseling services, group educational programs, case management, patient navigation for the newly HIV or Hepatitis C diagnosed, community outreach and condom distribution. As well as, harm reduction supplies (i.e. bleach kits, wound care kits), and professional training for agencies.

It has a partnership with the Roanoke City Health Department and offers STD testing at the Center at least once a month.

One of the programs in the center is the CHARLI program (Comprehensive HIV/AIDS Resources and Linkages for Page 26

Inmates), which is specifically for those individuals recently released from prison and living with HIV/AIDS. It provides assistance with housing and help with basic needs items like clothing, toiletries, household items, etc. The staff counselors also assist with life skill measures, such as job assistance, including rĂŠsume creation and setting/meeting life goals. Most recently, they have also assisted with maneuvering through the Affordable Care Act (ACA), better known as Obamacare.

The Drop-In Center also manages a small food pantry, which is funded not by the program, but from donations of singular and organizations. It also has transportation vouchers for folks living with HIV and is the leading agency for Ryan White services in Southwest Virginia.

The Center provides coverage, not just to Roanoke, but across Southwest Virginia. There are satellite offices on the campuses of both Virginia Tech and Radford University and are located, within, in-campus health centers. They also serve 90% of the jails/prisons and drug treatment facilities in

SWVA and have over 100 condom distribution sites in the Roanoke Valley. Additionally, they have a brand new, injection drug use, harm reduction program.

In 2014, the Center conducted approximately 3900 HIV tests; 960 Hepatitis C tests; and reached over 5,000 people with some other form of services.

Through the years, the focus of the Center has changed. When it first opened (Valentine’s day 2004), it served primarily the LGBT community through the MPowerment and FemPower programs. When CDC funding ended and the center moved into its current location, the funding guidelines changed and so did the primary services and who are targeted.

The Drop-In Center serves all people, providing HIV and Hepatitis C testing and counseling as well as all the other services listed above. Although about 40% of its services are provided to gay and bisexual men, an estimated 60% of services are to the general community. HIV and Hepatitis C do not discriminate in regards to race, gender, age

or sexual orientation; if it’s able to provide someone with needed services, they do, regardless of circumstance.

The staff at the Center is dedicated to the cause of HIV, STD and Hepatitis C prevention and care and they carry out their duties in a sensitive and professional manner.

The Drop-In Center has been recognized many times for the hard work and dedication that the staff provides to the community.

The Center, as well as Pam herself, has been recognized with the Blue Ridge Lambda Service award; been invited in at least four national HIV conferences on the successfulness of the Center programs; and it is one of only two community based agencies that provide Partner Services in Virginia.

The Drop-In Center has the fortune and opportunity to be financially stable for their day to day operations and programs.

However, their funding is very specific in what they can and cannot pay for, so many of the services provided are funded by the generosity of the community.

This is the area where they struggle financially.

The Food Pantry is an example of programs that are not funded and an area that is very important to the community. It takes roughly $400 a month to provide 30 clients with a large tote bag of groceries. The Food Pantry is an emergency pantry to help folks when they are struggling.

Without the support of the community, the Food Pantry would not exist.

At the center, they are very appreciative of any support they

receive, and feel that no one should go hungry. Eating healthy and nutritious meals is vital to everyone’s health and well being.

Pam finished our interview with her heart focused on changing awareness in the community. “Regardless of what it is about: Awareness of health issues, community events, communication, etc. Everyone could work harder to raise awareness in our community. It IS such a great community. Not everyone lives on Facebook or Twitter or has a cell/smart phone.

Social Media is a wonderful tool, but not everyone is connected or chooses to be.” She also encourages us to go back to basics and talk to each other, start a conversation about our community and all that it has to offer, which is really a lot of amazing things.

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