Don’t let expectations break your back(pack)

Hannah Conn ’23 Web Managing Editor

There is a long-standing second semester senior girls’ tradition of utilizing a kid’s backpack for all of quarter four, and I failed it.

By the second semester, all seniors have applied to college and many have already commit ted. So, in an act of celebration and as a symbol of their release from any remaining high school academic obligations, senior girls wear small, cartoon-dec orated bags that include as few things inside as possible.

But, unlike my peers, in just weeks, my strap frayed and broke, making the bag useless. While part of my failure may be due to the measly $10 I spent on it at our local Walmart, the main issue was probably due to the fact that, at any giv en time, the bag had rough ly 12 to 15 pounds of books and school equipment in it.

You see, I am not the kind of student who can “give up on grades.” I have always strived for academic success. There wasn’t a better feeling than ending a quarter with all my classes having an A- or above.

But, as I reflect now, I rec ognize that, at some point, my goals turned into expectations and my pride turned into anx iety. So even now, when I have secured a college and have ev ery right to relax, I take it hard when my grades aren’t “perfect.”

When I was younger, I was excited about learning. School was an opportunity to learn more about the world and ex pand my thinking. But as the years passed and pressures in creased, learning was set aside and an obsession with grades percentages took its place. Soon I wasn’t calculating equations; I was calculating how high of a grade I needed on an assignment to keep at least an A-. Each test I faced felt like I was entering a coliseum to fight for my life. These expectations were to achieve the high grades I desired. Although, to be honest, I am a bit disappointed with myself. While my classmates were able to let go and relax, I could not.

In college, I intend to better balance my schedule with various activities to mitigate my focus and energy to more than just my grades. It is important to have