My freckles are my friends: embracing insecurities

Lily Klau ‘23 Creative Director

While everyone else was chatting and catching up with their friends, I, the new girl, sat eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich alone at the edge of the lunch table. It was the first day of third grade and I had moved houses that summer, switching to a different elementary school district.

I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself, so I tried to blend in as best I could. As I was sitting alone, I heard someone laughing and pointing out to her friend that my face — all dotted in freckles — looked like a connect-the-dots page. Now, I do not think this eight year old had the intention of making me self conscious, but at the time, I wished the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

When you’re a kid, all you want to do is fit in. Now, suddenly, I felt like my freckles were making me stand out. I didn’t want to stand out. I was already the new girl at school, and I wanted nothing more than to fit in.

That night while my mom was cooking dinner, I snuck into her bathroom, rummaged through her makeup drawer and pulled out her foundation. I remember staring at myself in the mirror and telling my freckles they were “going on vacation” as I caked the makeup on my face.

When my mom walked in on me doing this, she explained how the girls were just jealous of my freckles and how that’s one feature that all modeling agencies look for. That helped me understand a little, but for years to come I would be self conscious of my freckles and how they made me different.

Then quarantine came around, everyone was spending more time on TikTok and a new makeup trend emerged. People were using henna to put fake freckles on their faces, and makeup companies were coming out with new products to make the best fake freckles. All of a sudden I was getting compliments left and right from people for my freckles and people were telling me how jealous they were and how much they wished they had my freckles. This made me furious. I had spent so many years hating my freckles and now, all of a sud den, everyone wanted them.

For the next couple of years after that, I would start to develop a love for my freckles. Look ing back on it now, I am real izing that this love only be gan because the people around me started to love them first. I put so much weight on the opinions of others on my per ception of myself that I couldn’t even see how beautiful and unique these freckles really made me.

Now, I can proudly say that I wholeheart edly love my freckles. While most girls my age are out in the sun tanning, I am out in the sun waiting for more and more freckles on my face. I love sitting in front of the mirror at night after being out in the sun all day and looking at all the new freckles that have come. I hate wearing any face makeup, as it covers up my freckles, which are now one of my favorite features of myself.

My freckles are what make me ME and I love that about them. I have a sense of pride in my freckles and the uniqueness they bring to me. I now choose to embrace being comfortable in my own skin and appreciate my freckles for contributing to my individuality and beauty. I have learned to love myself regardless of what people think.