IEW iss. 8.24 by Inland Empire Weekly

Volume 8, Issue 24 • September 12 - September 18, 2013 • www.IEWEEKLY.com • Every Thursday

MINUS THE BEAR IS AHEAD OF ITS TIME | THANK THE COFFEE GODS FOR LIFT | “FIFTY SHADES OF BROWN” A LA PAUL RODRIGUEZ

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

news WHAT’S IN A GENRE?

10 SPANNING GENERATIONS

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

Gritty punk meets sexy ’50s rockabilly with Crystal and the Cutthroats . . . and it’s our band of the week!

Minus The Bear’s tunes might be the future of music.

SHOWING HOLLYWOOD HOW IT’S DONE

Believe it or not, “Fifty Shades of Brown” is Paul Rodriguez’s family-friendly comedy show—and it’s hilarious.

CALENDAR

RETRO REVOLUTION

Treat your furry canines with some time to cool off—at the Dog Pool-ooza! . . . Anarchy and chaos—it must be a show by Godspeed You! Black Emperor.

Eugenion Derbez writes, directs and stars in his Spanish comedy with ripe tomatoes across the board.

BLOWN AWAY

Photo by Allan Borgen

It’s September which means new technology that we don’t need—and an empty wallet.

Windy C’s gourmet style hot dogs have just flown in from the windy city.

07 | News of the Weird

also

Cover design by Vidal Diaz Cover photo by Kim Johnson

Jurupa Valley is about to die after only two years and the culprit is—wait for it—Jurupa Valley . . . It’s not Breaking Bad’s fault that two San Berdoo natives were arrested for selling methamphetamine and child endagerrment.

FINAL WORD

Finally, the IE gets a gourmet coffee shop—and it’s guaranteed to lift your spirits.

the rundown

film

THE SKY’S THE LIMIT for Riverside’s coffee culture

AB 1266 is a big hooray for LGBT students, but may be a concern for the other timid, puberty-stricken teens

eats

feature

Photo by Kim Johnson

arts & culture

MUSIC

contents

5 6

HORMONAL DISTRACTION

07 | !Ask a Mexican! 13 | Dining Guide 28 | Planet Waves

Local News

Victory or Violation? Hesperia Assemblyman Tim Donnelly and AB 1266 By Alex Distefano

When Gov. Jerry Brown signed AB 1266 into law in August, members of the LBGT community, including many transgender students, rejoiced at the legislation, which will allow all students in public K-12 schools to use restrooms and locker rooms based on their gender identity, rather than their expressed gender. This means that in theory boys would get to use the same restrooms and shower in the same facility as girls, and vice versa. Transgender students and LGBT rights advocates fully support this law and see it as a victory against discrimination. The law goes into effect on Jan. 1, 2014. Although several states have laws on their books dealing with discrimination against transgender individuals, California’s bill is the first to deal with the issue in regards to public schools. Shortly after Brown signed the law into effect, the bill had already stirred up emotional support and opposition— with many experts, pundits, politicians and spokespeople taking to the cable news networks and blogospheres, to voice their opinions on this bill. “Now, every transgender student in

California will be able to get up in the morning knowing that when they go to school as their authentic self they will have the same fair chance at success as their classmates,” wrote Executive Director of the Transgender Law Center, Masen Davis, in a letter that was published by Fox News and The Huffington Post. But not everyone is on the same page. To no surprise, the law brings along its share of controversy, as those opposed to its implementation argue that the law could potentially violate students’ privacy, and be an overall distraction and detriment in an already near failing educational system. Throwing himself into the arena with a vocal opposition to this bill was Assemblyman Tim Donnelly, R-Hesperia, who wrote an editorial piece for the Conservative News Site, WND. In his editorial, from Aug. 15, Donnelly said that the bill has made him consider pulling his two sons out of public schools. The Weekly was unable to confirm if he had in fact done so or not. “Allowing teenage boys and girls in the same locker room, showering side by side is a bad idea,” Donnelly wrote, in his editorial. “In fact, AB 1266 is a recipe for disaster. This will take the normal

Bulletin

DEAD WOMAN FOUND IN SUITCASE FINALLY FINDS REST On Fri, Sept. 6, Christine Stewart Osborn finally received some peace. Osborn’s dead body was found just a few days after she was reported missing in Aug. of 2012. Osborn’s corpse was discovered in a suitcase that was left behind in a room at a Best Western in Poway. Employees went to inspect the room when a man named Joseph David Dorsey was late to check out. Dorsey had been dating Stewart and investigators believe that he strangled and kill her in his apartment in Lake Elsinore before heading to Poway, to dispose of the body. After the murder, Dorsey fled to Mexico but was later found and arrested by Mexican authorities and soon sent back to the States for trial. In June, Dorsey was taken to trial and was found guilty of murder in the first degree. This past Fri., Dorsey finally got his sentence—the judge sentenced him to 56 years to life for the murder of Osborn. IE

Publisher Jeremy Zachary Editor-In-Chief Evan Senn Entertainment Editor Ashley Bennett calendar editor Jamie Solis Art Director Steven Myrdahl Editorial Design DirectoR Tommy LaFleur Graphic Designer Vidal Diaz

Editorial Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Sarah Bennett, John Bergano, Allen David, Stacy Davies, Jasen Davis, Alex Distefano, George Donovan, Eric Francis, Bill Gerdes, Jesse B. Gill, Jeff Girod, S.A. Hawkins, Robin Johnson, Carl Kozlowski, Robert Kreutzer, Michelle Lepori, Liquid Todd, Kevin Longrie, Dan MacIntosh, Will Morrison, Adam O’Neal, Arrissia Owen, Kathryn Poindexter, Nancy Powell, Tommy A. Purvis, Paul Rogers, James Saunders, Joy Shannon, Andrea Steedman Matt Tapia, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Tamara Vallejos, Suzanne Walsh Simon Weedn

Tim Donnelly

hormonal battles raging inside every teenager and pour gasoline onto those simmering coals. The right to privacy enjoyed by every student will be replaced by the right to be ogled.” Donnelly said that he discussed this law with his 13-and 16-year-old boys, and that they were “horrified at the idea of sharing a bathroom and locker room with a member of the opposite sex.” Donnelly’s editorial suggests the law will violate the rights of many to protect the rights of a few. “While trying to address a concern of less than 2 percent of the population, California is now forcibly violating the rights of the other 98 percent,” he stated in his article. Many of the parents I have heard from within the last few days have literally pulled their kids out of public schools and have enrolled them in home school and private school programs.” Donnelly asks many questions that he says bring up legitimate concerns about AB 1266, which was authored by

InternS Dulce Balandran, Kim Johnson, Victoria Banegas, Derek Obregon, Aida Solomon Contributing Artists and Photographers Barry Bruner, Bettina Chavez, Kristopher Christensen, John Gilhooley, Nicholas Ivins, Khai Le, Scott Lost, Seth Wheel Director of Sales & Marketing Jim Saunders office manager Iris Norsworthy office assistant Jamie Solis

Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, D-San Francisco. Some of the questions and issues Donnelly has addressed the possible repercussions of this measure. “Will some kids be too embarrassed to use the bathroom or locker rooms, knowing that a member of the opposite sex could enter any time? Could this create unneeded anxiety with students, creating a massive learning distraction? Will creating gender neutral facilities increase the likelihood of a sexual assault on campus?” Donnelly asks. He said this bill, for the statewide public school system frustrates him, especially considering California is competing for the bottom three spots in educational achievement. “This is nothing more than a massive distraction and will only detract from students’ education,” he wrote. “It is likely to hurt the very people it purports to help. Certainly, there is a more sensitive way to address their concerns individually as opposed to turning every other student’s life upside down.” IE

Law & Disorder

Are you a true crime buff ? Then go to ieweekly.com every Friday and click on “The Watch Dog” under “News” for the latest cops ’n‘ robbers stuff. Account Executives Bobby Robles, Dave Ruiz IT Manager Serg Muratov Business Manager Linda Lam distribution manager Cruz Bobadilla VP of Finance Michael Nagami VP of Operations David Comden President Bruce Bolkin

Inland Empire Weekly newspaper is published every Thursday and distributes 30,000 papers at over 1,200 locations throughout the Inland Empire. No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other matter within may be reproduced without written permission. Inland Empire Weekly® is a registered trademark of Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available for $50 for six months; $80 per year. Archive issues are available for $3 per copy. 2175 Sampson Ave. | Suite 118 Corona | California | 92879 phone 951.284.0120 | fax 951.284.2596 www.IEWEEKLY.com

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

BY ALLEN DAVID the millions of dollars in vehicle-registration fees that California cities used to receive every years) or Jurupa Valley will kill Jurupa Valley—that is, begin the procedure to disincorporate as a city.

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 6 WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4

Another beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder day dawns on the 15 Freeway’s Limonite Avenue offramp, the orgy of third-tier chain stores that serves as the gateway to the City of Jurupa Valley. Unless you turned left on Limonite. Then the dust devil of retail you’re riding through is the City of Eastvale . . . yes, even though you’re driving west. Don’t argue, just turn around. We’ll deal with Eastvale some other day. At this moment we’re on an extremely time-sensitive mission—trying to get to the bottom of reports that a cell of operatives are putting the finishing touches on a plot that holds the City of Jurupa Valley’s very existence in the balance. Fortunately, it shouldn’t take long. Getting to Jurupa Valley by definition means you’ve gotten close to the bottom.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 5

Sure enough, the City of Jurupa Valley is being held hostage and ransom under the threat of death—death via a long, slow, painful procedure—unless California lawmakers in Sacramento cough up millions of dollars by September 12 . . . which is the end of the current legislative session . . . which was only a freegin’ week away—but as you read this is today! The perpetrators are making their demands in a sort of “infomercial” video sent to Sacramento legislators. And who would those perpetrators be? Who in Jurupa Valley is so pathetically desperate and terrifyingly detached from reality that they would concoct a ransom scheme that put Jurupa Valley’s life in such jeopardy? That would be Jurupa Valley . . . as represented by its elected officials and the staff at City Hall. [Of course, Jurupa Valley has a city hall! It’s in that funky old strip mall at 8304 Limonite Avenue. You there? Now go to Suite ‘M’. OK, now you’re there.] Why would Jurupa Valley hold Jurupa Valley hostage and for ransom? Jurupa Valley is almost out of money. Will be by July 2015. The only thing Jurupa Valley has left is Jurupa Valley. Thus was devised the ultimatum to the state legislature: give Jurupa Valley

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

Pop quiz! Question: When was the last time a city in Riverside County dis-incorporated—that is, voluntarily went from being a city to not being a city? Answer: Cabazon, which ended years of controversy in its city government by disincorporating in 1972. OK, Pop, you can go back to sleep now.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 7 It’s Caturday. Meow.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 8

Several hours after UCLA wide receiver Nick Pascuale plays his first minutes ever as a college football player during Saturday afternoon’s game against the University of Nevada/Las Vegas, the 5-feet-7 fireplug dies after being struck by an automobile while walking through a residential section of his hometown of San Clemente. He is pronounced dead at 1:27 a.m. today. An investigation is ongoing, but there is currently no suspicion of drug or alcohol use. The driver called 9-1-1 and remained on scene. No arrests were made. Pascuale was not a starter. In fact, his position on the UCLA team was tenuous enough that he recently mentioned to his father that he believed the coaches were beginning to notice him. That’s not true, UCLA Coach Jim Mora tells the San Bernardino Sun. “He was a tough sucker, man,” Mora says. “He was, what? Five-seven? A buck sixty-five, seventy? But his freakin’ heart jumped out of his chest.” As an illustration of his gritty toughness, members of the UCLA team gave Pasquale

the nickname of “Pacquiao”—a reference to Manny Pacquiao. Pasquale saw his first game action Saturday when UCLA’s lead over Nevada-Las Vegas reached double digits and bench warmers began to be given some opportunity for action. The Bruins will begin wearing Pasquale’s number on their uniforms this Saturday at Nebraska, the “36” adorned on the front of the left shoulder. The Cornhuskers will do the same with a decal on their helmet. Meanwhile, on the gate to UCLA’s practice field, someone had left two signs in Pasquale’s memory.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

Breaking Bad: The Morning After. After a threeyear-old girl is brought to Community Hospital in San Bernardino with a fever, she tests positive for methamphetamine and her mother and her mother’s boyfriend are arrested and incarcerated. Alexis Parker, 27, and Tony Medrano, 43, both of San Bernardino are arrested on suspicion of child endangerment, sales of methamphetamine and possession of dangerous weapons. Medrano, a convicted sex offender, is also suspected of being a felon in possession of ammunition. The child and her twin sister are taken into protective custody by the San Bernardino County Department of Children and Family Services.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

Breaking Bad: The Morning After the Morning After. Although makers of Zephrex-D, a new cold and allergy decongestant now being sold nationwide, say it is made with a new form of pseudoephedrine that is difficult to use to make methamphetamine, the Drug Enforcement Administration says today that it still won’t allow it to be sold over the counter. Inland Empire meth dealers—looks like it’s going to be your call again! IE

BY Chuck Shepherd

News of the LEAD STORY

BY Gustavo Arellano

Weird

Beginning in 2011, about three dozen people in Tokyo have been meeting every Sunday morning at 6 a.m. on a mission to scrub down, one by one, the city’s grungiest public rest rooms. “By 7:30,” according to an Associated Press reporter who witnessed an outing in August, the team had left behind a “gleaming public toilet, looking as good as the day it was installed.” Explained the hygiene- intense Satoshi Oda (during the week, a computer programmer), the mission is “for our own good”— work that leader Masayuki Magome compares to the training that Buddhist monks receive to find peace. (In fact, to fulfill the group’s motto, “Clean thyself by cleaning cubicles,” the scouring must be done with bare hands.) A squad supporter spoke of a sad, growing apprehension that the younger generation no longer shares the Japanese cultural conviction that rest rooms should always be clean and safe.

MEDICAL MARVELS

Colleagues were stunned in May when ABC News editor Don Ennis suddenly appeared at work wearing a little black dress and a red wig and declaring that he had begun hormone therapy and wanted to be called Dawn Ennis. As co-workers accommodated his wishes (which did not seem so unusual in contemporary professional society), Ennis began to have second thoughts, and by July had blamed his conversion on “transient global amnesia,” brought on by marital difficulties, and had returned to work as Don. Apparently the primary lingering effect is that he must still deal with Dawn’s hormone-induced breasts.

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT

Researchers at the University of Tokyo have developed a mirror that makes a person appear happy even when not. A built-in camera tracks facial features in real time, then tweaks the image to turn up the corners of the mouth and to create the beginnings of a smile in the eyes. Of what practical use would such a mirror be? Other Japanese researchers, according to a Slate.com report in August, believe that happyface mirrors in retail stores would improve shoppers’ dispositions and lead to more sales. A home ownership boom in China has led to heavily attended housing fairs, in which builders compete zealously to sell their homes, leading to offbeat schemes to draw attention.

¡ASK A

Among the latest, according to China Daily, is one that dresses female models in bare-backed evening wear, with sample floor plans and other housing information painted onto their skin, and sends them wandering through the crowds.

MEXICAN!

ANIMALS GONE WILD

SyFy Channel’s recent original movie Sharknado briefly became a media sensation in July with a storyline involving large schools of oversized sharks lifted from the ocean by waterspouts and deposited, alive (and angry!) on land to wreak havoc. But as the website Mother Nature News subsequently reported, animals actually have been lifted to land in that fashion in the past. Previous documented news reports of the phenomenon include airborne fish (mudfish in the Philippines, perch in Australia); frogs (in Odzaci, Serbia, in 2005); jellyfish (Bath, England, in 1894); worms (Jennings, La., in 2007); and, according to an 1887 New York Times story, eight alligators in Silverton Township, S.C.

PERSPECTIVE

The Costa Rican government announced recently that it would close all its zoos, effective March 2014, and free animals either to the wild or to safe “retirement” shelters. Since the country is known for its expansive biodiversity (500,000 unique organisms, despite occupying barely more than 1/100th of 1 percent of Earth’s area), it is time, the environment minister said, to allow the organisms to interact instead of imprisoning them. Costa Rica is also one of only four countries to ban the exploitation of dolphins.

LEADING ECONOMIC INDICATORS

In July, following sustained criticism, Thomson Reuters business information company suspended an advance-release service for the crucial monthly “consumer confidence index” that has been known to signal stock markets to abruptly “buy” (driving up prices) or “sell” (sending them lower). The University of Michigan prepares and distributes the index promptly at 10 a.m. Eastern time on its release date, but Thomson Reuters offers two advance peeks. It pays the school about $1 million a year to see the index at 9:55 a.m., to share with its best customers. The suspended program gave an even earlier tip-off—at 9:54:58—and highfrequency trading firms paid $6,000 more a month for those two seconds, which allowed their computer robots to execute hundreds of thousands of trades before other professional traders had access to the index.

Send your Weird News to Weirdnewstips@yahoo.com

Dear Mexican: I have a Mexican friend at work, and we happened to get in a discussion that started off fine—but I believe that I offended her as the discussion progressed. My intention, of course, was not to do such. We were talking about an upcoming Cinco de Mayo celebration, and I asked if she knew the true meaning behind Cinco de Mayo. “Of course I do,” she said. “It was a famous battle we won”—“we,” meaning Mexico. “That’s great,” I replied, ”because a lot of people have the wrong idea they think it’s when Mexico got its independence.” She then said, “Yeah only you gringos think that.” She implied that she should know because she is Mexican-American. I said that she’s really an American that happens to have Mexican heritage. “I don’t call myself a European-American,” I told her. I was born here, just like she was! I said if that was the case, she should call herself a Roman-MoorishSpanish-Mexican-American. She turned and showing signs of being upset, and said we are really in Mexico. I was at first confused, then I realized that she was suggesting that Texas, Arizona, California, and New Mexico was originally Mexico’s land. I said, “Actually, we’re in Nevada which I don’t think was part of that region.” I also stated that it was originally Indian land and that the Mexicans took the land from the Native Americans. We, being Americans took it from the Mexicans. Seeing that she was upset, I apologized for upsetting her. Those were not my intentions. What’s your opinion? H.R. Harridan Dear Gabacha: Nevada not a former part of Mexico? Where do you think the name came from—The AngloSaxon Chronicle? That said, you were in the right. She shouldn’t have called you a gringo at work—she should know better that we save that for when you’re out of sight, or mutter it under our breath when you’re one cubicle

over. She also shouldn’t be telling you that this land is Mexico—although it is, it’s a classified secret not ready for revelation until Nevada is majorityMexican like Southern California. Finally, her whole weepy-moany act is beneath a true mexicana—she should’ve dismantled your weak-ass arguments with the facts or—better yet—a wellplaced chinga tu madre.

I’m a very white man who lives in a small town about 13 miles from the Mexico border. In this small town there is a coffee shop, and an attractive Mexican lady started working there. She does not speak English. I have a Spanish/English dictionary, and I have been writing her notes when I go into the coffee shop. She writes back in Spanish, short little notes. She says hello to me every time I go in there; I have been practicing my Spanish “hello.” That is about as far as we have gotten. Her children speak English, but she does not. I cannot see spending my life talking to her through her children. I am not sure what to do next. Can you help me with the next step? I would enjoy spending more time with her... Still On Spanish Dear SOS: Wow, a Marty Robbins song come to life! While your average Chicana scholar would rightfully rip you apart for your paternalistic, colonialist, macho, heteronormative attitude, I’ll be a bit more sympathetic: You’re going WAY ahead of yourself. Already talking about seeing a lifetime with this woman? Get to a situation where you can slip off her chonis first, son! And to get to that step, learn some habla first. And to get to that step, get thee to a Spanish-language class; since you’re near la frontera, a soccer league will suffice. Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

By Andrea Steedman

Photo by Kim Johnson

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

havens like San Francisco, Montreal, New York, Seattle and even Italy. “The inspiration came from all these places, but we added our own touch” Sommers says, noting that it was after a trip to San Francisco that he and Andra finally decided to take the plunge and finally open a business together. This partnership seems to be a strong one, based on years of friendship and each of them brings a lot to the table. Although Sommers is knowledgeable about business planning, Andra complements Sommers with his entrepreneur-attitude, “Alan owns a couple of other businesses, so he has more tangible, experience-based knowledge.” Lift is described by the coffee-expert Sommers as a “third-wave” coffee shop. This term refers to the current trend of treating coffee as a gourmet, artisanal product (similar to micro-brewed craft beer, or independent winery-produced wine.) Sommers explains, “The bean is roasted to

Photo by Kim Johnson

time to go to college, Sommers knew what he wanted to do: he says, “I based most of my college classes around opening a coffee shop.” This may not seem like the most realistic goal to some, but one step inside Lift, which recently opened in Riverside, and all doubts disappear. Sommers studied engineering, and Andra built a construction company, among other businesses. The respective interests from each of the owners’ truly shows in the beautiful interior of Lift, from the floor to ceiling there are details that set it apart as one of a kind. Reclaimed and recycled wood, airplane parts, and a Howard Hughes style that screams for adoration and attention, Lift’s unique and beautiful atmosphere gives Riverside hipsters and coffee connoisseurs alike a place to unite. This sense of what a coffee house “should be” may have originated in their OC youth, but it became informed by trips to Coffee

Photo by Brad Claypool

If you live in Riverside County and you love coffee, you probably drink it at home or end up driving a lot. While in Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego you can hardly turn a corner without tripping over an independent coffee house, Riverside County has a depressing dearth. This can get frustrating if you love the coffee house atmosphere—and Steffen Sommers and his business partner Allen Andra really love coffee houses. Sommers said his love affair with coffee began as a child, glamorizing the coffee his parents loved. Then he discovered coffee houses: “I loved the feel and the community aspect, hanging out with my friends drinking cappuccinos.” One of his favorite was Keen in Newport Beach, and it was there that he met Allen Andra, also a devotee of the unique vibe coffee houses offered. When it was

whatever level it will be best at, from there they can be used in whatever way—drip, espresso, etc. Third wave coffee is about creating an experience by the cup that is fresh and personal.” Those are great words to describe the experience at Lift. Steffen Sommers recalls how some coffee novices wander in, not sure what to order, and are “instant converts.” So what will you find when you walk into Lift? No matter what your passion is, be it brewed coffee, espresso beverages, or artisan teas—you will be happy. Sommers personally likes a variety of custom caffeinated options, “brewed coffee in the morning, but espresso beverages in the afternoon.” Lift specializes in both, as well as its signature and rare expertise in coldbrewing—which will entice all your senses as it sits in a giant tower behind

Photo by Kim Johnson

Photo by Brad Claypool

olds and hipsters, but also families and older people.” Sommers has been surprised by the range, although he says 18-30 has been the most common age group to visit Lift since it opened. This will likely sky-rocket soon, with the start of the school year at the nearby University of California, Riverside. In Riverside, there won’t be much competition from other independent coffee houses, so they addressed the real competition Lift will face: chain coffee houses. Sommers explained Lift’s advantages in their primed location, “for some people, convenience is a top priority when getting coffee, rather than quality and flavor, those people are the hardest to win over. Lift has two main strengths—first, really great coffee, so good that many of our customers are starting to drink their coffee black for the first time, enjoying the natural flavor notes the coffees possess when roasted and brewed to perfection, and second, a really nice community, a great place to spend some time.” Although Steffen Sommers and Allen Andra could have opened their coffee house somewhere else and have had a built-in market, they have made Riverside their homes, they are raising their kids here—and they wanted their type of coffee house here. “We both felt Riverside was ready for a good coffee shop, we wanted it to be the type of place we love, where we would want to hang out.” What’s in the future for Lift? Already they constantly keep it fresh with rotating beans: new fresh and exciting coffee all the time. They are also looking towards opening a more prominent roasting plant, where people could buy beans directly. Another thing in the works is a mobile coffee cart, which should be up and running by midSeptember. “We want to be at events on campus, or community events like the lighting ceremony at the Mission Inn.” Riverside has a huge student population, and ever-growing populations of connoisseurs of all kinds, not the least of all are coffee junkies. Already, the business is doing well, even though as Sommers noted, “we did very little advertising, pretty much we just used social media and word of mouth.” With Lift’s highquality drinks, delicious pastries, and fresh, comfortable atmosphere, it looks like the sky’s the limit. IE

Photo by Brad Claypool

Photo by Brad Claypool Photo by Kim Johnson

the counter, slowly dripping sticky sweet coffee concentrate into beautiful, towering glassware. Cold brewed coffee is a bit sweeter than regular coffee, due to its lower acidity. Because the coffee beans in cold-press coffee never come into contact with heated water, the process of leaching flavor from the beans produces a different chemical profile from conventional brewing methods. Lift also has an amazing selection of specialty teas and they carry gourmet pastries from Crème de la Crème; they offer special Sidecar donuts or Treatness cinnamon rolls on Saturdays, as well as new seasonal pastries to satisfy those that crave novelty. The decor of the Riverside specialty coffee house is a hipster’s paradise, but it really gets its inspiration from planes. The logo involves a propeller from what looks like a vintage plane, and throughout the interior of the space there are details that also reference planes and the reclamation of a time long forgotten. Peruse through one of the many coffee connoisseur magazines readily available while you sit in chairs made from pilot’s seats. With old fashioned vintage Edison light bulbs, chalkboard menus, a custom high rafter-ceiling, vintage-looking wooden tables and a bar made from a chromedout plane wing—this place is beautiful. Their main wall even has their logo burned into the reclaimed wood. The baristas—all adorable and fashionable young dudes—give great customer service and are so knowledgeable and talented, they would make anybody swoon hard. The story of Lift hasn’t been easy, though—Sommers and Andra had children born two days apart, shortly before the opening of Lift, and as Sommers correctly sums it up, “we both have Lift, our other ventures, and babies at home—so we basically have three full time jobs each.” Both men had a passion to create a coffee house like the ones they loved, in their home of Riverside, but it has been a lot of hard work. “We both care about it so much,” Steffen Sommers says, “we want it to be the best it can be, but it’s a ton of work.” Furthermore, so far the business trends have been unpredictable, and the average customer has been diverse. “It has been really mixed—a lot of 20-year-

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

Band of the week

MUSIC

Crystal and the Cutthroats

CLASSIC ROCK OF THE FUTURE Minus The Bear is loosely defined as “math rock” or “futuristic retro” but one thing is for sure— it’s undefineably awesome. By Dan MacIntosh

When Minus The Bear reaches The Glass House, the Seattle-based rock band will be supporting a bevy of re-imagined music—as well as some brand spankin’ new sounds taken from a newly released 10-song EP titled Acoustics II. “Acoustics II has two new songs on it,” explains guitarist David Knudson, “and then eight older tunes that have been reworked.” Minus The Bear, who is always tinkering with it’s song catalogue, consistently sidesteps any sort of easy stylistic categorization. Just think of Minus The Bear as futuristic retro. “We’ve always said that we like to tell people our music is ‘the classic rock of the future,’” suggests Knudson, “which I think is a fairly apt description of what we’re trying to do. We’re trying to be influenced by stuff from the ’70s and prog rock and classic rock and all those great records everyone loves, but kind of update it and put our own twist on it.” Knudson has strong words for anyone that might suggest Minus The Bear is just a little too slick for the alternative music crowd. “There isn’t one way to do any kind of music,” he says in defending his band’s music, “whether it’s alternative or any kind. By saying the only way to make X kind of music is by having X sound, means that you’re buying into everything about that genre; we don’t buy into anything about any genre.” Nevertheless, isn’t it a little bit more than coincidental that, while Minus The Bear is sometimes described as ‘math rock,’ Knudson explains the group’s approach to making music with—drum roll, please—an arithmetic-like equation? “That math rock tag probably got put on us early on in the band when we had, maybe, a 5/4 section or the song would be in 7 or 9 or there would be a polyrhythm of 5/4 or something like that,” says Knudson. “At that time, I was doing a lot of two-handed tapping. But honestly, a lot of the songs that we do are just a straight up 4, but we might be playing around with the beat here or there. The math rock tag? I don’t know if it’s totally accurate, but there are certain math-y elements to the songs.” For many musical acts, annual back-to-school How I Spent My Summer

essays are likely filled with listings of the various high profile festivals played and exotic foreign lands visited. Minus The Bear, in contrast, would more likely put pen to paper to extol the virtues of a few significant familial additions. “Honestly, I mean, this is going to sound super cheesy, but the best part has been hanging out with my little dude because three of us are new-ish parents,” explains Dad Knudson, “so it’s been awesome to be able to be outside and hang out with our little creatures and watch them kind of blossom and run around . . . We had a big spring tour and did some touring in Europe and had a couple fly-outs and stuff like that. So this summer was kind of about focusing on being at home and then preparing for the upcoming tour.” Even so, these family guys in Minus The Bear are excited about performing their newly reconfigured music. “It’s been fun releasing the track listing for Acoustics II and seeing people’s reactions to what songs are on there,” Knudson gushes, “and then streaming them and seeing reactions to the streams, as well.” Fans will certainly dig the shows Minus The Bear will be playing this tour. “The set list is looking pretty cool,” Knudson says. “It’s got some of the stuff we feel people expect to hear, but we’re also pulling out some old stuff we haven’t played in a while . . . We’re trying to give fans a little of both worlds in terms of a few of the standards that people always love to sing along to, but we’re also delving a little bit deeper into albums than we have in the past. And since this is a tour promoting Acoustics II, probably half way through the set we’ll be playing a little mini acoustic set where we play maybe three or four songs off the acoustic album in their acoustic form. So we’ll take off all the loud guitars, strap on some acoustics and play a couple campfire gems. And then put the loud ones back on.” IE Minus the Bear w/ Tera Melos and The New Trust at The Glass House, 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; www.theglasshouse.us. 7pm. $20.

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

MEMBERS: Crystal Lee (vocals), David Lucas (guitar), Chris Rivera (bass) and Cesar Castro (drums). CITY OF ORIGIN: Corona. KINDERED SPIRITS: Wanda Jackson, The Cramps, Little Richard, The Clash, X and Nick Curran. WEBSITES: www.facebook.com/crystalandthecutthroatsmusic. Crystal and The Cutthroats takes you back to the 1950s with its tough, gritty and doo-wop sound perfectly paired with powerful vocals. The band members came together when singer Crystal Lee and her husband and bassist Chris Rivera, decided to start on a musical journey together. From there, they found musicians with a similar taste and simply began playing what they knew and liked. This eventually led to their discovery of a new and unique sound—throw in some blues, a little punk and a ton of “dirty rockabilly and filthy rock ‘n’ roll,” and you get Crystal and the Cutthroats. With songs entitled “Dear, Johnny” and “Backseat Boogie,” this band leaves us with no choice but to rock our socks off. How and why did Crystal and the Cutthroats come to be? Crystal Lee: This was an idea that my husband Chris Rivera and I thought up a few years back. We really just wanted to do something different so it stayed an idea for some time, because we didn’t really know what the sound was or how to describe it. Crystal would write the lyrics and Chris would come up with bass lines, but without a guitarist it really wasn’t much. Then when David and Chris’ last band split up, Dave came aboard and our sound was developed. Cesar joined a few months after and filled in the missing piece. How would you describe your music? Lee: Wow that’s a hard one; we really are a mix of all the things that we love musically. I guess the best way to describe it would be late ‘50s rock and roll with rockabilly and punk influences. We really just call it dirty rockabilly and filthy rock ‘n’ roll. We couldn’t be one or the other—

we had to find a new sound. I don’t have one of those pretty girly voices, even when I try it’s gritty, so we knew the music had to be rougher than what people think of when they think ‘50s rock ‘n’ roll. Is there anything that gives you guys a unique sound? Lee: We really didn’t want to pigeon [hole] ourselves to the standard “rockabilly” style, we felt like we were more than that. One thing that really puts us in a different category is we don’t have a stand-up bass, that’s really typical in a rockabilly band and we knew we couldn’t be typical. The boys had been in punk bands together for years and we knew how big of an influence that would be on our music. Also, The Cramps are a big influence on us, the way they covered 1950s rockabilly songs and really made them their own is something that really helps us define our sound. Where do you see your band going? What are your musical goals? Lee: We really want to go [wherever] the music takes us, we are going to record later this year and just play, play, play. Our goal is tour, hopefully play overseas and get signed by a small independent label. We are all in our 30s and couldn’t even imagine answering this question when we 20-something, we would probably say something like our goal is beer, AHH! To be somewhat mature If you had one line to let the world know what you’re all about, what would you say? Lee: ‘50s rock ‘n’ roll with a dirty, gritty, rough and ready sound! We ain’t like nothing you ever heard because we don’t follow the rules! (Dulce Balandran) IE

ARTs & Culture

Still an Original Comedian Paul Rodriguez keeps it real

Since his breakthrough appearance in 1983’s D.C. Cab, Rodriguez has been a regular presence on television, the movies and the comedy tour circuit. Over the years, the comedian claimed several “firsts” for Latino comics, even if the ventures were not always successful. Norman Lear, arguably the greatest sitcom producer in history, chose Rodriguez to lead the 1984 ABC series a.k.a. Paulo. Though shortlived, the Smithsonianenshrined series was the first about a MexicanAmerican family on a major U.S. network. A few years later, he became one of the first MexicanAmericans to host a major TV game show when he replaced Bob Eubanks on The Newlywed Game. On the big screen, Rodriguez appeared in nearly 50 movies, and he became one of the first MexicanAmericans to write, direct and star in his own U.S. feature film, 1994’s A Million to Juan. His crampacked resume even includes an international Spanishlanguage talk show on Univision and part ownership of Hollywood’s famed Laugh Factory (of Michael Richards rant fame). Throughout his career, Rodriguez has also been an activist for several causes, including the Hispanic Scholarship Fund, Juvenile Diabetes Foundation, League of United Latin American Citizens and The Leukemia Society, among several others. Most notably, he is a tireless advocate for water conservation, serving as Chairman of the California Latino Water Coalition and earning the Humanitarian of the Year award from the City of Fresno.

Rodriguez, who recently called attention to kidney transplantation with the 2012 award-winning web series Fixing Paco, might use comedy to help a cause, but he avoids getting political in his comic routines. “I am not a preachy guy [on stage],” he adds. “My shows are sheer entertainment.” Rodriguez can easily transition between his advocacy and entertainment because he has spent over three decades dividing his talents in productive ways. He is a multicultural, multigenerational star who has performed on stage and on television in both English and Spanish. “For an older guy, it is a lot harder to stay hip and relevant and keep up with all the new languages and intricacies. In my case, I try to come up with material that suits my age. I try to explain grey hair, which is God’s way of saying you’re running out of ink.” Nevertheless, the comic whose work spans generations has shown he can reach them all. “My audience has grown with me,” he remarks. “I can look at an audience and tell they used to be the young ones that used to come. Now the baby boomers have bloomed and they bring their kids to the shows. It really is so rewarding.” IE Ontario Improv Comedy Club, 4555 Mills Cir., Ontario Mills, Ontario, (909) 484-5411; paulrodriguez.com. Sept. 13-15. Tickets $25. 18 and over.

By David Jenison

Making jokes about a commanding officer in the military is an easy way to get your ass shipped off to someplace freezing. Just ask comedian Paul Rodriquez. The Mexicoborn, Compton-raised comedian avoided fighting in Vietnam by enlisting in the Air Force, and cold weather aside, he believes his six years of service changed his life. Rodriguez, who headlined the 2002 Original Latin Kings of Comedy movie, is currently headlining venues in mostly warmer climates as of late. The Latin star is performing material from his new comedic routine: Fifty Shades of Brown. “Fifty Shades of Brown is just a moniker for the different kinds of Hispanics that are here,” he explains. “I do a routine about how easy it is to take

for granted that someone is a Mexican and the surprise when they are not. We are becoming more and more Central American, and the funny [element] is in the customs, the Chicano light as I call it. It encompasses all the things in the media right now… the immigration policies, the amnesty, the anchor babies, the whole thing. It’s just a view from my perspective of change, which is never easy. It’s all of us trying to get along on this small piece of real estate.” Regarding the literary allusion, he adds, “People recognize the spoof of 50 Shades of Grey, and I touch on that, too, [such as] the differences between how the rich enjoy their sexual proclivities. It is a family show. There are no F-bombs, no profanity. It is a show that I could take my mom.” SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

FILM

CHINO

CINEMARK MOVIES 8 5546 Philadelphia St. (Chino Promenade) (909) 464-1203 www.cinemark.com

CHINO HILLS

HARKINS CHINO HILLS 18 3070 Chino Ave. (714) 996-4275 x.#121 or (909) 627-8010 www.harkinstheatres.com

CLAREMONT LAEMMLE CLAREMONT 5 450 West 2nd Street (909) 621-5500 www.laemmle.com

CORONA

EDWARDS CORONA CROSSINGS STADIUM 18 2650 Tuscany St. (I-15 & Cajalco Rd.) (800) FANDANGO [(800) 326-3264 x.1723#] or (951) 582-0872 www.regmovies.com DOS LAGOS STADIUM 2710 Lakeshore Dr. (877) 795-4410 www.phoenixtheatres.com/locdoslagos.asp

ONTARIO

AMC ONTARIO MILLS 30 4549 Mills Circle (909) 476-1234 www.amctheatres.com EDWARDS ONTARIO MOUNTAIN VILLAGE STADIUM 14 1575 N. Mountain Ave. (800) FANDANGO [(800) 326-3264 x.154#] or (909) 460-5312 www.regmovies.com EDWARDS ONTARIO STADIUM 22 & IMAX 4900 E. 4th St. (800) FANDANGO [(800) 326-3264 x.153#] or (909) 476-1525 www.regmovies.com

RANCHO CUCAMONGA

AMC VICTORIA GARDENS 12 12600 N. Main St. (909) 646-7250 www.amctheatres.com TERRA VISTA 6 10701 Town Center Dr. (909) 483-8373 www.tristonecinemas.com/terravista6

FONTANA

PERRIS

HEMET

REDLANDS

ULTRASTAR FONTANA 8 16741 Valley Blvd. (951) 341-5720 www.ultrastarmovies.com

HISTORIC HEMET THEATRE 216 E. Florida Ave. (951) 305-0159 www.historichemettheatre.com REGAL HEMET CINEMA 12 2369 W. Florida Ave. (951) 658-2939 www.regmovies.com

LA VERNE

EDWARDS LA VERNE STADIUM 12 1950 Foothill Blvd. (909) 392-4894 www.regmovies.com

PERRIS PLAZA SHOPPING CENTER 1688 N. Perris Blvd. (951) 940-9500 www.regencymovies.com

KRIKORIAN REDLANDS CINEMA 14 340 N. Eureka St. (909) 793-6393 www.kptmovies.com

RIALTO

Regency Rialto Stadium 8 300 W. Baseline Road (909) 877-3456 www.regencymovies.com

RIVERSIDE

AMC TYLER MALL 16 3775 Tyler Street (951) 359-3430 www.amctheaters.com

LAKE ELSINORE

EDWARDS JURUPA STADIUM 14 8032 Limonite Ave. (800) FANDANGO [(800) 326-3264 x.157#] or (951) 361-4823 www.regmovies.com

MIRA LOMA

MISSION GROVE THEATERS 18 121 E. Alessandro Blvd. (951) 789-8483 www.missiongrovetheaters.com

DIAMOND 8 CINEMAS 32260 Mission Trail (951) 245-4298 www.uecmovies.com

EASTVALE GATEWAY STADIUM 14 12285 Limonite Ave. (951) 361-9177 www.regmovies.com

MONTCLAIR

MISSION TIKI DRIVE-IN 10789 Ramona Ave. (909) 627-3564 or (909) 628-0511 www.missiontiki.com; www.myspace.com/ missiontiki

MORENO VALLEY HARKINS MORENO VALLEY 16 22350 Town Circle (951) 686-3456 x.#118 www.harkinstheatres.com TOWNGATE 8 12625 Frederick St. Ste. L (951)653-5500 www.regencymovies.com

MURRIETA

THE MOVIE EXPERIENCE 17 AT CALIFORNIA OAKS 41090 California Oaks Rd. (off the I-15) (951) 698-7800 www.themovieexperience.com

REGAL RIVERSIDE PLAZA STADIUM 16 3535 Central Ave. (800) FANDANGO [(800) 326-3264 x.1722#] or (951) 784-4600 www.regmovies.com UNIVERSITY VILLAGE CINEMAS 1201-A University Ave. (951) 784-4342 www.metrotheatres.com VAN BUREN CINEMA 3 DRIVE-IN 3035 Van Buren Blvd. (951) 688-2829

RUBIDOUX

RUBIDOUX DRIVE-IN 3770 Opal St. (951) 683-4455 www.rubidoux.icyspicy.com

SAN BERNARDINO STERLING 6 2373 Sterling Ave. (909) 864-1588 www.regencymovies.com

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

Instructions shows how it’s done With his new film Instructions Not Included, Mexican movie star Eugenio Derbez schools Hollywood on how to make a comedy By Carl Kozlowski

It’s rare that a movie can come along and become a truly unexpected phenomenon these days, with all the hype available on the Internet and social media, in addition to the usual barrage of TV ads and movie trailers. But the Mexican comedy Instructions Not Included has defied the odds to become a smash hit that Hollywood truly didn’t see coming. Co-written, directed by and starring Eugenio Derbez, who has never made a big splash before in America, Instructions made a whopping $10 million off less than 400 screens in its opening weekend two weeks ago to average more than a staggering $25,000 per screen. In its second weekend last week, it earned nearly $9 million more after expanding to just more than 700 theaters, revealing that word of mouth is on fire and portending that the sky’s the limit as the film continues to expand nationally in the coming weeks. Considering its consecutive third-place finishes are putting star-driven Hollywood blockbusters to shame, this is a paradigmshifting situation. But is it really that good? And is it relatable to viewers outside its Hispanic core audience base who will likely have to rely on reading its subtitles when Valentin and other Spanish-speaking characters are talking? Thankfully, the answer to both questions is a resounding “Si!” for this movie is muy bueno. Instructions tells the story of Valentin (Derbez), a promiscuous ladies’ man who inexplicably lives in a luxurious Acapulco condo despite not having a job. One day, one of his many sexual conquests, an American named Julie, returns to hand him a baby named Maggie whom he didn’t even know he had, and then flees back to America. Desperate to hand Maggie back and avoid impacting his life of luxury, Valentin sneaks across the border to Los Angeles to find Julie at the hotel he believes she works at. He learns she’s been fired, but through a misunderstanding with a hotel maid, he believes Julie is living in the hotel’s presidential suite. Since no children are allowed in the hotel, he hides the baby in a

basket in the hotel laundry room and heads upstairs, only to get in an argument with a movie producer who’s actually staying there. While the producer takes a phone call to demand a new stuntman for his latest production, Valentin looks down at the hotel pool to find Maggie crawling and falling into it. Summoning courage that he learned as a boy from his daredevil father, Valentin leaps 10 stories off the suite’s balcony to save the baby—and winds up as the hottest new stuntman in Hollywood. Now Valentin has a career that can enable him to raise Maggie, and the movie seems to settle into a touching and funny portrait of a man having to grow up and face responsibility for a child in much the same fashion as Three Men and a Baby. Then Julie shows up, trying to reenter Maggie’s life at age 6. But just when you think this is about to get predictable, Derbez and his co-writing team break out twist after impressive twist, turning the movie into a superb juggling act of comedy, drama and occasionally, wellearned heart-tugging emotions. As entertaining as the movie is while it plays out before your eyes, it’s even more impressive looking back upon it. Derbez has taken a genre and premise that has been so played out it should have been tiresome and invigorates it with zesty performances and writing that pops off the screen. He’s also a master of montage, bringing that most tiresome trope to new life both for comic and maximum emotional effect. Aside from his own stellar central performance, Derbez draws great work from Loreto Peralta as Maggie and Jessica Lindsey as Julie. Both Valentin and Julie at different points could have been simply unpleasant characters, but as they reveal their more complicated actual natures, their well-rounded turns are key to engaging the audience and taking them along for a ride that puts most American comedies to shame. As a result, Instructions Not Included is definitely a movie that any audience can relate to. And here’s hoping that Derbez will continue schooling Hollywood on how mainstream comedies should be done in many more movies to come. IE

EATING WITH ALLAN

DINING GUIDE If you have information that needs to be changed, please e-mail calendar@ieweekly.com or call (951) 284-0120 x583. Average price per entrée: Under $10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ $10-$20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $$ Over $20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $$$

claremont

Chino

Photos by Allan Borgen

HOT DIGGITY DOG Chicago-style hot dogs from Windy C’s will blow you away By Allan Borgen I love hot dogs and I know a lot of you do too judging by the huge number of hot dogs sold each year (Americans devour an estimated seven billion hot dogs between Memorial Day and Labor Day alone). Although popular, not all hot dogs are created equal. There are many styles of cooking hot dogs and lots of condiments and toppings to put in and on top of the dog but in my opinion, the king of hot dogs are Chicago-style and lucky for us, Windy C’s Chicago Hot Dogs in Upland serves up some of the best little doggies in the IE and has for over 14 years. Owner Freddie Johnson, who hails from the Southside of Chicago, is very thankful for his loyal customers support over the years. A great hot dog is only as good as is the quality of the dog and Vienna, a popular purveyor of fine deli meats and products from Chicago is the hot dog and products of choice at Windy C’s. So just what is a Chicago Style Hot Dog? Let’s start with a soft poppy seed bun, yellow mustard, an all beef hot dog, chopped onions, bright green relish, slices of tomato, a kosher pickle spear, sport peppers (a small chili pepper that is tangy and has a nice spicy kick to them) that’s finished with a sprinkling of celery salt. The result is a magnificent tasting hot dog that has layers of flavors and textures—it’s simply delicious. In addition to the traditional Chicago Dog, there are various combinations of the dogs with sauerkraut, cheese, chili and all of the other great toppings found on the original dog. My favorites are the Maxwell Street Polish Dog, a spicy Polish sausage with grilled onions and hot peppers and the Wrigley Dog

with mustard, sauerkraut, pickle and cheese. Besides the regular and jumbo size dogs, you can also get many of the hot dogs that are one foot long. Another culinary treat from Chicago is the Italian Beef Sandwich (aka Chicago Beef). This fantastic sandwich consists of thinly sliced roast beef dipped in homemade au jus and topped with a mildly spicy pickled relish called Giardiniera. I love this sandwich and know you will too. Others items of note are their fresh, crisp and thinly sliced French fries (thin potatoes are fried upon ordering and come to you hot, crisp and oh so good), the Vienna Corn Dog, their Chili Cheese Fries and the Windy C’s LiL Fish Sandwich, fried fish patty with tartar sauce, cheese on a steamed bun, meatball sandwiches along with shakes and hot and iced coffees. Over the years many small restaurants have opened up in our area specializing in hot dogs but Windy C’s is definitely one of the best especially you want a “real” taste of one of Chicago’s iconic foods. IE Windy C’s Chicago Hot Dogs, 140 S. Mountain Ave., Upland, (909) 982-8273; www.windycs.com. No credit cars accepted. Debit and cash only.

For the best local restaurants, follow Allan at Feedme411.com, watch the Let’s Dine Out Show on Ch. 24 KVCR-PBS Friday nights at 6:30pm or listen to the Let’s Dine Out Show on KTIE AM 590 every Saturday from 3pm to 5pm. Contact Allan at allan@feedme411.com or call him at (909) 910-3463.

ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Think you know deli food? Sandwiches, salads and fries? Try this place for size, as it’s well regarded for generous portions. 14700 Pipeline Ave., 909.597.3304. $ SUSHI TEN. Hungry for a Mr. Brian Roll or the Senorita Roll? You’ll likely only find it here. 15463 Fairfield Ranch Rd., 909.597.1980. $$

THE AVOCADO HOUSE. Fresh breakfast and lunch cooking that tastes like it came straight from grandma’s kitchen. 11618 Central Ave., 909.627.9733.$$ Centro Basco Restaurant. The dishes range from a mix of Spanish and French cuisine. 13432 S. Central Ave., 909.628.9014; www.centrobasco. net. $$ GREAT GRINDERS AND BURGERS. Grinders galore, with all kinds of meats and treats. Don’t forget the affordable daily specials, too! 12423 Central Ave., 909.464.0512. $ GUASTI HOMESTYLE CAFÉ. Featuring pancakes so large, you’ll never complain about not having enough food again. 13526 Central Ave., 909.627.5970; www.guastihomestylecafe.com. $$ KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS & MAI TAI LOUNGE. Terrific Hawaiian flavors to be had from the sweetest juices of the pineapple-plum sauce down to the base of a fiery volcano of rice. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www. kealohas.com. $$ LA CREPERIE CAFE. Jazz, crepes and Cupcake Red Velvet wine; now that’s my kind of French restaurant. 3968 Grand Ave., 909.342.6016; www. lacreperiecafe.net. LOS PORTALES MEXICAN GRILL & SEAFOOD. Among a few signature margaritas, this spot has a variety of Mexican food to choose from. 12542 Central Ave., 909.548.6660; www.losportalesgrill. net. $$ Owen’s Bistro. Award-winning contemporary cuisine in an industrially-chic environment. 5210 D St., 909.628.0452; www.owensbistro.com. $$ Pizzaioli Ristorante Italiano. Elegant Italian dining at a moderate price. 3920 Grand Ave. #A, 909.590.5454; www.pizzaioli.com. $$ 909.865.0699; www.joeysbbq.com/html/home1. RIVERSIDE GRILL. In the heart of Chino (not Riverside) lies a restaurant offering both healthy and satisfying meals. 5258 Riverside Dr., 909.627.4144. $$

Chino Hills THE BOILER. Like the name says, there’s some real steam kettle cooking right here—the pan roasts are totally choice. 4665 Chino Hills Pkwy. #I, 909.597.9098; www.theboilerskc.com. BRUXIE. A fantastic menu of savory and sweet waffle sandwiches. Don’t forget to wash it down with a locally crafted sugar-cane soda! 13865 City Center Dr., 909.334.4162. $$ ICHIKAWA SHABU FONDUE & YAKITORI. Hook up your thin cuts of Angus beef and veggies and serve ‘em yer way! 4665 Chino Hills Pkwy. #A, 909.606.0080. MES AMIS. A journey of Mediterranean flavors you won’t soon forget. 14720 Pipeline Ave, Ste. 1, 909.597.8353; www.mesamis-restaurant. com. Ojiya. This tiny sushi restaurant is packed with customers every night and all weekend long. That’s the best review we can give to potential new customers. 4183 Chino Hills Pkwy. #J, 909.606.8638. $$ ONE PLUS ONE DUMPLING HOUSE. Tasty Chinese cuisine that both Asians and non-Asians can appreciate. 14720 Pipeline Ave., Ste. B, 909.606.8088. RA SUSHI. Japanese food for the younger, hipper set of folks in a stylish setting and signature rolls. 13925 City Center Dr., 909.902.0044; www. rasushi.com. $$

EUREKA! BURGER. Try a few layered burgers or salads with a massive selection of beer on tap. Dig in! 580 W. First St., 909.445.8875; www.eurekaburger.com. $$ EURO café. Portuguese cuisine (with daily specials) is this café’s specialty, plus superb sandwiches and salads. 546 E. Baseline Rd., 909.621.4666; www.eurocafeclaremont.com. Hip Kitty Jazz And Fondue. Come and enjoy an assortment of cheese, meat and vegetable fondues. 502 W. 1st St., 909.447.6700; www.hipkittyjazz.com. $$ LE PAIN QUOTIDIEN. If the fancy, exotic name doesn’t tell you that you’ll be chowing down on some French fare, we’re not sure what will. 175 N. Indian Hill Blvd., 909.625.1609; www.lepainquotidien.com. LOVING HUT CLAREMONT. Heaven for both vegans and healthy food seekers alike. 175 N. Indian Hill Blvd., Bldg. A-102, 909.621.1688; www. lovinghut.us/claremont_01. MONGOLIAN BARBEQUE. Grab a bowl, stuff it with vegetables and watch that greatness sizzle to perfection. Impressive eats. 970 W. Foothill Blvd., 909.624.4334. $ ROUNDS PREMIUM BURGERS. You might be sick of the “build your own burger” theme but this joint’s got some quality ingredients to make your dream burger a reality. 885 S. Indian Hill Blvd., 909.626.2626; www.roundsburgers.com. PETISCOS. These tacos have been reinvented in a way you’ve never dreamed possible. 211 W. 1st Street, 909.625.5557; www.eatatpetiscos.com. THE BACK ABBEY. Check out this vast assortment of delicious burgers, bass, schnitzel and a massive selection of ale. 128 N. Oberlin Ave., 909.625.2642; www.thebackabbey.com. The Press RESTAURANT. Vegetarians and carnivores in the I.E. can finally get along. 129 Harvard Ave., 909.625.4808; www.thepressrestaurant.com. $ Tutti Mangia ITALIAN GRILL. Pasta, fish, specialties and a host of Italian treats to tickle the taste buds. 102 Harvard Ave., 909.625.4669; www. tuttimangia.com. $$ UNION ON YALE. Innovative dishes that will both delight your taste buds and satisfy your appetite. 232 Yale Ave., 909.833.5104; www.uniononyale. com. $$ Viva Madrid. Artistic and eclectic décor and the occasional flamenco band complement an extensive Spanish menu. 225 Yale Ave. #B, 909.624.5500. www.vivamadrid.com. $$. WALTER’S RESTAURANT. You won’t be able to predict the unique dishes in store for you here, especially when it comes to the variety of awesome brunch dishes. 310 N. Yale Ave., 909.624.2779; waltersrestaurant.biz.

colton GOODY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT. For hearty, noteworthy diner/truck stop eats, Goody’s is, well, damn good. Breakfast served ‘til 2 p.m. daily for those late risers. 551 S. Hunts Ln., 909.370.1063. LENO’S RICO TACO. This hole-in-the-wall serves up authentic Mexican fare that’s terrific on the taste buds and real easy on the wallet. 549 W. Valley Blvd., 909.825.9304; www.lenosricotaco.com. $ Ravi’s India Cuisine. Serving authentic Indian goods made with spices imported from—you guessed it—India. 1091 S. Mount Vernon Ave. #G, 909.824.1100; www.ravisindiacuisine.com. $ Sayaka Japanese Restaurant. Sushi, sashimi, and nigiri, as well as teppan-yaki alternatives. 1060 S. Mount Vernon Ave., 909.824.6958.. $$

Open Up and Say Yum!

Do you looooove food and eating? Then go to ieweekly.com every Wednesday and click on “Bite Me!” under “Eats” to feast on our latest and greatest food blog brought to you by Food Editor Ashley Bennett.

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

DINING GUIDE corona CAFE SOLE. Pamper your body and your appetite with some healthy Mediterranean cuisine. Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa, 25000 Glen Ivy Rd., Corona, 951.453.6489; www.glenivy.com/springs/cuisine/ cafe-sole. CORKY’S KITCHEN AND BAKERY. Great prices and oh-so much better food than Denny’s. 3811 Bedford Canyon Rd., Ste. 108, 951.735.3100; www. corkyskitchenandbakery.com. $ COUNTRY B.B.Q. This do-it-yourself BBQ is actually of Korean country origins. (And it’s just as great our Yankee finest.) 2276 Griffin Way #108, 951.734.8022. EDUARDO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT. It’s some good, old-fashioned, homespun Mexican food with heart and soul. 513 W. 6th St., 951.340.3722; www.eduardosmexicanrestaurant.com. EL CANGREJO NICE. Gourmet Mexican seafood isn’t as expensive as it sounds—and it’s delicious! 510 Hidden Valley Pkwy., Corona, 951.340.2280; www.elcangrejonice.com. GOODFELLAS CAFÉ. A Greek diner featuring some good American food in an Italian theme. 1090 Pomona Rd., 951.340.1130; www.myspace. com/goodfellascafe. HOT DOG SHOPPE. Tired of the same ol’? Have that time-tested frankfurter dished up in a number of new ways, including the Wonder Tiger, The Justin, Blue German, Angry Dave and Garden of Eden. 510 Hidden Valley Pkwy., 951.898-8702; www.thehotdogshoppe-corona.com. LUNA MODERN MEXICAN KITCHEN. Mexican cuisine with twists beyond the standard of ordinary salsa and ceviche. 980 Montecito Dr., 951.735.8888; www.lunammk.com. KING’S FISH HOUSE. It’s definitely a cut above the standard fare corporate crustacean cuisine. Even the bisque rocks (lobster). 2530 Tuscany Rd., 951.284.7900; www.kingsfishhouse.com. MANTRA INDIAN CUISINE AND BANQUET. This Indian spot is perfect if your taste buds are looking for an adventure of spice and flavor. 480 N. Main St., Corona, 951.739.9401; www.mantraresturants.com. MI HABANA CUBAN RESTAURANT. It’s the place for quality Cuban eats with a minimum of flair. 712 N. Main St., 951.582.9005; www.mihabanacafe.com. OGGI’S PIZZA & BREWING CO. Cleverly named pizzas, authentic Italian pastas and gut-busting appetizers satisfy all! 2363 California Ave. #105, 951.817.0748; www.oggis.com. $$ PHO LONG. Even when it’s not soup weather, the hot, steaming bowls of Vietnamese rice noodle goodness served up here are simply lick-yourbowl clean delicious. 127 N. McKinley St. #103, 951.340.0342. RA SUSHI. Japanese food for the younger, hipper set of folks in a stylish setting and signature rolls. 2785 Cabot Dr. #101, 951.277.7491; www.rasushi. com. SUSHI ASAHI. This place has plenty of tasty rolls and a pretty mean all-you-can-eat menu to boot. 420 N. McKinley St., Corona, 951.738.3000. SILVER DOLLAR PANCAKE HOUSE. Flapjacks of all kinds—plus a ton of other breakfast treats. 710 E. 6th St., 951.737.5977; www.silverdollarpancakehouse.com.

THE STEAM HAUS GASTRO PUB. It’s got a handful of unique dishes and one well stocked bar; now all you need is a top hat and monocle to match the atmosphere. 2785 Cabot Dr., Ste 110, 951.277.7500; www.steamhausgastropub.com. THAI STAR B.B.Q. Despite its strip mall location, this place’s yellow curry rocks taste buds like a more fancy-pants Thai dining establishment. 3848 McKinley St., 951.737.1638; www.thaistarcorona.com.

fontana Cowboy Burgers & BBQ. Thick, juicy burgers and heaping plates of barbeque beef ribs. 11673 Etiwanda Ave., 951.681.2020. $ IXTAPA MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Tired of the same old Mexican restaurant? Try some refreshing chips, salsa and guacamole with a few unique entrees like bacon wrapped over juicy shrimp. Mmm! 15035 Foothill Blvd., Suite D, 909.829.1099; www. ixtapafontana.com. Mario’s Italian Restaurant and Pizza. Besides the pizza, this restaurant’s most popular meal is the chicken cacciatore and spaghetti. 9733 Sierra Ave., 909.350.1212. $

norco BLACK HORSE TAVERN AND GRILL. The completely remodeled Black Horse dishes up huge 1 lb. burgers, gourmet sandwiches and the marinated Hanger steak, plus daily lunch and Happy Hour food specials. 1825 Hamner Ave. #A-E, 951.278.2771. $ COWGIRL café 2. This ain’t one of your dime-adozen burger joints—we’re talkin’ different styles and flavors over here (and the portions, too). 2859 Hamner Ave., 951.371.5465. GRINDER HUT SOUTHERN STYLE BARBECUE. Only open Fridays and Saturdays, but they’re the best two days’ worth of full and half slabs, tritips, links and much more. 2462 Hamner Ave., 951.737.7141; www.grinderhutbbq.com. $$ THE MAVERICK STEAKHOUSE AND SALOON. Steaks, burgers, sandwiches and fries—not to mention all the fun of having it in a saloon! 3841 Old Hamner Rd., 951.734.6640; www.mavericksaloonnorco.com. $ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE. Pancakes, waffles and crepes galore; plus one helluva “Dutch Baby.” 1750 Hamner Ave., 951.403.6900; www.originalpancakehouse.com. PAT’S KITCHEN. Breakfasts are the known delight in this eatery that’s been around for more than a quarter-century. 1217 Sixth St. #1A, 951.371.9022. SADDLE SORE EATERY AND SALOON. Hitch yer horse, knock a couple cold ones back and grub on some hearty steak eats right here. 343 6th St. #A, 951.272.8283. $$ SWEET BASIL THAI BISTRO. Thai food in Norco? You won’t sound so surprised when you see the sweet and spicy meals offered here. 1670 Hamner Ave., Ste 9, 951.280.0805; $

ontario BENTO BOX JAPANESE GRILL. Sushi plus a lunch tray (for adults!) creates quite a nostalgic meal.

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

2910 S. Archibald Ave., Ste C, 909.923.2323; www. sushibentobox.com. $$ FUSIONS BAR & GRILL. Great grub options exist here, include the tasty fries, soups and, hey, 101 martinis, too! 3550 Porsche Way; www.facebook.com/pages/Fusions-Martini-Lounge-andGrill/173232196044371. Rosa’s ITALIAN RESTAURANT. This restaurant serves food of all Italian regions and claims to be best in all their dishes. 425 N. Vineyard, 909.937.1220; www.rosasitalian.com. $$$ Royal Cut Restaurant. It’s ‘bout the beef, baby! Lunch and dinners are served here. 2345 S. Grove, 909.947.3322; www.royalcutrestaurant.com. TORO SUSHI. Delicious, affordable sushi in a modern atmosphere. 1520 N. Mountain Ave. #D, 909.983.8676; www.torosushi.com.

pomona Coco Palm RESTAURANT. This Cuban-Spanish spot offers Cuban tamales, empanadas, tapas, paella, and an incredible array of meats and fish. 1600 Fairplex Dr., 909.469.1965; www.cocopalmrestaurant.com. $$ MIX BOWL CAFÉ. It’s a mix of Asian goodies here, including Thai BBQ and other tastes. 1520 Indian Hill Blvd., 909.447.4401; www.mixbowlcafe.com. $ NEW YORK DELIGHT. What a delight it is to chomp down on a variety of deli sandwiches featuring fresh-cut meats, some of which actually hail from the Big Apple! 310 S. Thomas St., 909.868.6518; www.nydelight.com. Pho Ha Vietnamese Restaurant. This restaurant can seat 100, and their meals are often geared for two. 695 Indian Hill Blvd., 909.622.7578. $$ RAWKEN SUSHI. Get your fix of “Bro-sushi” with a few powerful rolls with spice that makes even tough men sweat. 135 E. 2nd St., 909.629.6800; www.rawkensushi.com. THE BURGER HOUSE. Previously known as 2nd on Second Street, this bistro-turned burger joint makes some pretty mean patties. 171 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.623.7620; www.theburgerhouse.net. THE ROOKERY. Formerly known as Joey’s BBQ, this burger n’ beer joint is taking patty dining to a whole new level. 117 W. 2nd St., 909.815.5215; www.facebook.com/TheRookeryPomona.

rancho cucamonga BRIGHT STAR THAI VEGAN CUISINE. Featuring some of the best non-chicken chicken you will ever eat. Full of veg-friendly delights. 9819 Foothill Blvd., 909.980.9797; www.brightstarvegan.com. CHINA POINT. Some say it’s the best Chinese food in the IE—and worth the wait. 9028 Archibald Ave., 909.466.8766. CLASSY café. It’s American food and like its namesake, should have a touch of class to the dishes, cooked up daily by a pair of caterers with some two decades in the biz. 9135 Archibald Ave. #F, 909.989.7733; www.classylassiescatering.com. FARRELL’S ICE CREAM PARLOR. This place brings back all of your childhood memories of loud birthday celebration songs, tasty meals and the best dang selection of ice cream around. 10742 Foothill Blvd., 909.989.8777; www.farrelsusa.com. GREEN MANGO THAI BISTRO. Attention picky eaters: There are well over a hundred dishes being served here, from the Panang Seafood to the Angry Chicken and the Grilled Beef salad. 11226 4th St., 909.987.8885; www.greenmangothaibistro. com. HAANDI INDIAN CUISINE. Samosas, vindaloo, aloo tikki, pappadam—get ‘em all here! 7890 Haven Ave. #15-16, 909.581.1951; www.haandii.net. KABUKI. Don’t let the Victoria Gardens mall give you the “skeevs.” Here you’ll find great selection of sushi that is better than any food court dish. 12595 N. Mainstreet, 909.646.8555; www.kabukirestaurants.com. LOCO CANTINA & GRILL. Traditional Mexican menu served up to 2am nightly. 11815 Foothill Blvd. #E, 909.980.5800; www.myspace.com/ lococantina&grill. Magic Lamp Inn. Offers American cuisine and is open Tuesday thru Friday for lunch, and Tuesday thru Sunday for dinner. 8189 Foothill Blvd., 909.981.8659; www.themagiclampinn.com. $$$ SLATER’S 50/50. The “50/50” patties from this burger joint are made from a mix of half-ground beef and half-ground bacon—aka any meat lover’s dream. 8009 Day Creek Rd., 909.803.1991; www.slaters5050.com.

TROPICA RESTAURANT AND BAR. Gourmet pizzas and pasta for cheap: the recipe for greatness. 11849 Foothill Blvd., 909.481.9500.

redlands CAPRICE café. Cal-Med cooking with a twist of Asian and Middle Eastern tastes thrown into the mix, and a great room to have a fantastic meal in. 104 E. State St., 909.793.8787, www.capricecafe.com. Citrone. An upscale establishment where you’ll find a pricier Italian menu and nice wine list. 328 Orange St., 909.793.6635; www.citroneresturant. com. $$ Cuca’s. Featuring daily specials, tacos, burritos, tamales, hamburgers and more. 527 E. State St., 909.335.9557. Location #2: 1752 Lugonia Ave., 909.389.1235; www.cucasmex.com. DHAT ISLAND. a caribbean dining delight that’s better than tasty (only open for take-out and catering on weekdays). 509 N. Eureka St., 909.792.1717; www.dhatisland.com. The Eating Room. Located in an old JC Penney’s warehouse filled with fake orange trees and a large collection of rooster statues. 107 E. Citrus, 909.792.5400; www.allmarthagreen. com. $ EUREKA! BURGER. Don’t let the exclamation point fool you, this place is anything but generic. 345 W. Pearl Ave. #130, 909.335.5700; www.eurekaburger.com. Farm Artisan Foods. The Farm presents only the finest artisan foods available, favoring items grown or produced locally. 22 E. State St., 909.792.1162; www.farmartisanfoods.com. $$$ JERSEY’S PIZZA. The beer selection kicks ass, as it features only the best stuff around. (Oh yeah, there’s pizza somewhere here, too!) 214 Orange St., 909.335.7076; www.jerseyspizza.com. Joe Greensleeves American Grill. Try the gnocchi, pork tenderloin or the signature appetizer, “the Greensleeve.” 220 N. Orange St., 909.792.6969; www.joegreensleevesrestaurant. com. $$$ Las Brasas. Las Brasas offers traditional Mexican dishes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 15 E. State St., 909.335.9866. $ Little Fisherman Seafoods. If you want fresher fish, you’ll have to pull it out of the water yourself. 1179 W. Redlands Blvd., 909.798.5998; www. littlefisherman.com. $$ OSCAR’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT. Home-styled Mexican belly fillers in a cozy, friendly atmosphere. (Plus, they don’t need toothpicks for their rellenos!) 19 N. 5th St., 909.792.8211. REDLANDS UNDERGROUND. This place has got all the great food and fantastic entertainment you could ever ask for. Just make sure you check operating hours before your night out! 19 E. Citrus Ave., Ste. 103, 909.798.1500; www. redlandsunderground.com. TACO VILLAGE. The tacos are good, but this place has one of the best chicken burritos we’ve ever had. 1711 W. Lugonia Ave., 909.307.1916. Tartan of Redlands. Tartan of Redlands has been a local landmark for decades and is popular with locals and visitors. 24 E. Redlands Blvd., 909.792.9919; www.tartanofredlands.com. $$

riverside ANCHOS SOUTHWEST BAR & GRILL. Seriously Southwestern, as the bull horns will promise. 10773 Hole Ave., 951.352.0240; www.anchos.net. $$ ANTONE’S FOOD. Italian food featuring fresh baked bread, delicious grinders, pizzas and garlic bread, plus spaghetti and salads, too! 4125 Sunnyside Dr., 951.682.5900. $ BACK STREET RESTAURANT. Tucked away in a pretty little building, this place nails the lunch fare, especially the sandwiches. (And note, it’s only open on weekdays and only during lunch.) 3735 Nelson St., 951.683.6650; www.backstreetriverside.com. BANN THAI. A brand new Thai treat that tastes as nice in the mouth as the place looks with the eyes. 6461 Brockton Ave., 951.684.3381; www.bannthairiverside.com. BELLA TRATTORIA ITALIAN BISTRO. Fine Italian cuisine in a posh atmosphere. Open for lunch and dinner. 3649 Mission Inn Ave., 951.784.0300; www.missioninn. com. $$ CHARLEY ROKK’S AUTHENTIC TEXAS BBQ. Your favorite home-style treats can be found here from

macaroni and cheese to Cajun rice and all meaty treats in between; all in the name of deliciously homemade BBQ. 5145 Jurupa Ave., Ste. G-4, Riverside, 951.774.0039; www.CharleyRokksBBQ.com. D’elia’s grinders. Remember when the grinder was a serious sandwich? If so, we’ve got a great trip back into memory lane. 2093 University Ave., 951.683.7380; www.deliasgrinders.com. $ GRAM’S MISSION B-B-Q PALACE. One of the top contenders for sheer smoked-for-hours deliciousness. 3527 Main St., 951.782.8219. $$ Joe’s Bar and Grill. Fun and festive dining with live entertainment and American eats like burgers, dogs, steak, and chili. 10909 Magnolia Ave., 951.637.3931. $$ MAGNONE TRATTORIA & MARKET. You won’t be able to deny this Italian joint the respect it deserves. 1630 Spruce St., Riverside, 951.781.8840; www.magnonetrattoria.com. MONARK ASIAN BISTRO. Asian fusion cuisine that’s full of new (and familiar) flavors. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr. #64, 951.683.1073; www.monarkasianbistro.com. OASIS VEGETARIAN CAFÉ & BAKERY. This place is a veggie/vegan’s delight, featuring both American and Hispanic cuisine. Seeking meatless steak burgers or tacos? Look no further. 11550 Pierce St., 951.688.5423; www.oasisvegetarian.com. Olivia’s Mexican Restaurant. Everything is made fresh daily and if you haven’t been here before, well, you’re missing out. 9447 Magnolia Ave., 951.689.2131; www.oliviasmexicanrestaurant.com. $ PHO Saigon. Pho is a clear broth soup served with thin noodles that can be vegetarian or filled with chicken, shrimp or beef—get your perfect setup right here. 1450 N. University Ave. #N, 951.369.0306. $ PUNJAB PALACE. Satisfy your hungering itch for spice with a few dishes that might empty your wallet but certainly fill your stomach. 1766 University Ave., Ste 102, Riverside, 951.686.9968; www.punjabpalacecuisineofindia.com. $$ RED HOT KITCHEN. Hey foodies, this new place has tastes to crave, including the pickled kimchi taco, an avocado and mango salad, and totally bomb jalapeno bombs. 1995 University Ave., 951.684.9800; www.rhkriverside.com. ROYAL ORCHID THAI. Fast food Thai that thankfully doesn’t taste like fast food. 9791 Magnolia Ave., 951.354.6100. SMOKEY CANYON BBQ. Grab a whiff of hickory with these tasty, meaty dishes. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr. #9, 951.782.8808; www.smokeycanyon.com. $$ Templo Del Sol. What could be better than a bunch of meat, cheese, beans and veggies wrapped in a large flour tortilla? 1365 University Ave., 951.682.7047. YELLOW CHILI TAPAS KITCHEN AND BAR. This joint has opened a restaurant strictly to praise the art of the appetizer. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Ste. # 42, 951.686.9400.

san bernardino Alfredo’s Pizza and Pasta. A classic Italian joint, right down to the red and white checkered tablecloths. 251 W. Base Line St., 909.885.0218; www. alfredospizzandpasta.com. The Castaway. Experience award winning cuisine and service, while taking in the fabulous mountain and valley views. 670 Kendall Dr., 909.881.1502; www.castawayrestaurant.com. $$$ Delhi Palace. All the greatest hits: tandoori chicken, lamb and naan. Check out the buffet, too! 2001 Diners Ct., 909.884.9966. $$ JACKPOT TASTY THAI-CHINESE FOOD. Tasty Thai cuisine that rolls the dice and pays out in delectable, authentic dividends. 2160 S. Waterman Ave. #C, 909. 824.1324. LE RENDE-VOUS GOURMET CUISINE. One of the last true French restaurants in the IE and yes, they’ve got escargot. 4775 N. Sierra Wy., San Bernardino, (909) 883-1231; www.LeRendezVousRestaurant.com. Los Portales. Mexican fare like mamacita used to make—over 100 dishes of it. 1313 N. Waterman Ave., 909.888.2544; www.losportales3.com. Lotus Garden. Styled like an authentic pagoda, this Chinese hotspot offers kung pao chicken, Singapore noodles and clay pot entrees. 111 E. Hospitality Ln., 909.381.6171. $ MARDI GRAS RESTAURANT. Yes, it’s the best Cajun and creole cuisine in the Inland Empire. Great breakfast, lunch and dinner served all day, seven days a week, with live jazz twice weekly. 201 N. E St., 909.884.5000. THE MUG. Not a whole lot’s changed in the 60 years this eatery offering up pizza and more. 1588 W. Highland Ave., 909.887.1550.

DINING GUIDE SUNDOWNERS FAMILY RESTAURANT. Yes, it’s a family restaurant…discover the rest for yourself. 1131 S. E St., 909.884.3510. Surfer Joe’s. This laid-back eatery enjoys a loyal following who come in for the homemade pizzas, pastas and sandwiches. 251 E. Redlands Blvd., 909.824.5523. $

UPLAND

town, 760.365.5956; www.pappyandharriets.com. PINNOCCHIO IN THE DESERT. 134 E. Tahquitz Canyon Wy., Palm Springs, 760.322.3776; www.pinnocchiops. com. POM FANTASY SPRINGS. 84245 Indio Springs Dr., Indio, 800.827.2946; www.fantasy springsresort.com. RESTAURANT AT PONTE. 35053 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.252.1770; www.pontewinery.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR AND GRILL. 27961 Highland Ave., Highland, 909.280.3250; www.sportswatchbarandgrill.

com. SUN DOWNERS FAMILY RESTAURANT. 1131 S. “E” St., San Bernardino, 909.884.3510; www.sundownersfamilyrestaurant.com TACOS AND TEQUILA. 49750 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www.morongocasinoresort.com. TROPICAL BBQ. 26684 Margarita Rd., Murrieta, 951.698.4124; www.tropicalbbqtemecula.com. TWENTY6. 494999 Eisenhower Dr., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com.

BLACK WATCH PUB. This place where “everybody knows your name” offers some bomb British dishes. 497 N. Central Ave., #B, Upland, 909.981.6069; www.theblackwatchpub.com. Bulldog Pub & Restaurant. British cuisine, you ask? Yes, it exists! The fish ‘n’ chips is always a terrific stomach pleaser. 1667 N. Mountain Ave. #117, 909.946.6614. $ Joey’s Western Steak-N-BAR-B-Q. Four words: fire pits and brewskies. Oh, and meat. That’s five. 1964 W. Foothill Blvd., 909.982.2128; www.joeysbbq. com. $$$ LIMERICKS TAVERN. Catch your favorite game on one of the many TVs at this tavern and enjoy some neat dishes like the Irish Nachos and Beer-battered Fish Sandwich. 1234 W. Foothill Blvd., 909.920.5630; www.facebook.com/limerickstavern. $$ PETRILLI’S PIZZA. Pizza and sandwiches that are very easy to love hail from this hot take-out spot. 110 S. Mountain Ave., 909.981.8114; www.petrillispizza. com. $ PINE HAVEN CAFE. Let this breakfast and lunch menu blow your mind and fill your stomach with unimaginable delights. 1191 E. Foothill Blvd., 909.946.4674; www.pinehavencatering.com san biagio’s pizza. After taking a bite of these NY-style slices, it’ll be hard to believe you’re still in Upland. 1263 W. 7th St., 909.946.9277; www.sanbiagios.com. $ san biagio’s pizza. Same as the above San Biagio, just in another spot in the city. 1118 E. 19th St. #F, 909.949.6900; www.sanbiagios.com. $ TANGO BAIRES CAFÉ. Authentically delicious Argentine cuisine. 870 E. Foothill Blvd. #2, 909.985.6800; www.tangobairescafe.com. $$ TEQUILA HOPPERS. Burgers and appetizers that are better than the standard bar fare. 60 N. Mountain Ave., 909.985.9114; www.tequilahoppers.com. $$

GREAT CUISINE GETAWAYS

Explore the outer-IE’s great culinary treasures. THE ADOBE GRILL. 49499 Eisenhower Dr., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com. ALICANTE. 140 S. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9464; www.alicanteps.com. AZTLAN TACOS. 29280 Central Ave., Ste G, Lake Elsinore, 951.471.0440. BAMBOO ASIAN RESTAURANT. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 888.732.4264; www.pechanga. com. THE BISTRO. 84245 Indio Springs Dr., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. CAFÉ AROMA. 54750 N. Circle Dr., Idyllwild-Pine Cove, 951.659.5212; www.cafearoma.org CHICAGO PASTA HOUSE. 24667 Sunnymead Blvd., Moreno Valley, 951.924.5777; www.chicagopastahouse.com. CURRY AND KABOB. 12125 Day St., Ste H-301, Moreno Valley, 951.682.7500. ERNIE’S BAR AND GRILL. 56150 PGA Blvd., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com. FILIPPI’S PIZZA GROTTO. 27309 Jefferson Ave., Temecula, 951.699.8900; www.realcheesepizza.com. GREAT OAK STEAKHOUSE. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.770.8507; www.pechanga.com. THE HOOD BAR AND PIZZA. 74360 Hwy 111, Palm Desert, 760.636.5220; www.thehoodbar.com. JIAO. 515 N. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.321.1424; www.jiaops.com. JOY. 84245 Indio Springs Dr., Indio, 800.827.2946; www. fantasyspringsresort.com. KING’S HIGHWAY. 701 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9900; www.acehotel.com/palmsprings/dining. LIAM’S IRISH PUB. 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900. MADLON’S RESTAURANT. 829 W. Big Bear Blvd., Big Bear, 909.585.3762; www.madlonsrestaurant.com. MD BURGER. 494999 Eisenhower Dr., La Quinta, 760.564.4111; www.laquintaresort.com. NATURAL NINE NOODLE CO. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 951.755.5620; www.natural9noodle.com. PAPPY & HARRIETS. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneer-

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

sun 09/ 15 ARIA’S

We have all experienced changes in our lives. Some of us embrace the numerous changes that occur with confidence while others need a shoulder to lean on to get through the tough times. Aria’s has a dynamic cast of characters that gives you an inside look into how people deal with the hardships of life—death, heartbreak, depression and more. 2pm. $15. Rialto Community Players, 150 San Bernardino Ave., Rialto, (909) 873-8514; www.rialtocommunityplayers.org.

mon 09/ 16 LIQUID LOUNGE

Forget about having a “case of the Mondays,” instead choose to start off your week with some dancing and fun. If trip-hop, downtempo and dub are your thing, then DJ Salazam will be spinning everything you need to dance all the way into the night. Show up and get wild before you head home to finish off the long week ahead. 9pm. Mission Tobacco Lounge, 3630 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 682-4427; www.missiontobaccolounge.com.

sat 09/14 DOG POOL-OOZA Canine lovers enjoy nothing more than a day dedicated to their furry friends. That’s why the 4th Annual Dog Pool-Ooza will surely be a hit with humans and dogs alike. Hosted by San Bernardino County Parks in partnership with V.C.A Central Animal Hospital, Dog Pool-Ooza will give your pup one of its last chances to cool off in the water . . . if you think this summertime weather has been killer, imagine trying to stand the heat while wearing a fur coat! In addition to being able to take a dip in the cool pool, pups can enter into the Doggie Swimsuit Competition, Top Dog Talent Show or Lil’ Dog Races. If you want to join in the fun, there’s even a Dog/Owner Look-a-Like Contest—make sure you and Sparky come sporting your matching trunks. If your dog has a thing for shopping, there will be plenty of vendors selling doggie products, with everything from carriers to shampoos. There will also be raffles going on, so make sure you take advantage of the chance to win some dog-themed prizes. With pups coming from all over the Inland Empire, be sure to bring your special four-legged pal—this may be a perfect chance for them to make some new friends while they’re relaxing poolside. 8:30am. Cucamonga-Guasti Regional Park, 800 N. Archibald Ave., Ontario, (909) 387-2461; www.sbcounty.gov.

fri 09/13

RAMIREZ FOOD TRUCK FESTIVAL AND VENDOR FAIR

There’s nothing better than unlimited choices for dinner and a little live music. Don’t miss the amazing tastes of over 20 different food trucks—from lobster to barbeque. You’ll also get to enjoy the music from 97.1 AMP Radio, so you can dance around with your full belly after enjoying the obstacle courses, games and activities. All in all it’s an event that is fun for the whole family. 5pm-10pm. $3. Ramirez Intermediate School, 6905 Harrison Ave., Corona, (952) 736-8241.

thu 09/12

THE OYLER HOUSE: RICHARD NEUTRA’S DESERT RETREAT

Get into the mind of famous architect Richard Neutra, who designed a house in the late ‘50s for his dear friend Richard Oyler. This film screening gives you an intimate peek at the beauty of this home, with large-scale floor to ceiling windows that frame the surrounding peaceful and scenic view. Interviews with the current homeowners, as well as Oyler right before his death, only add to its charm. 7pm. Suggested Donation $10. Seeley G. Mudd Theater, 1325 N. College Ave., Claremont, (909) 621-0848; claremontheritage.org.

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

tue 09/17

MIKE CANO’S COMEDY PARTY WITH JAMIE KENNEDY

If you enjoy a whole lot of laughs, then come by to see Mike Cano’s Comedy Party, with special guest Jamie Kennedy. We already know to expect absolute hilarity from Jamie Kennedy by seeing his acting on Scream, Scream 2, Malibu’s Most Wanted and more . . . now is your chance to see what his stand-up has to offer. 8pm. $12. Ontario Improv, 4555 Mills Circle, Ontario, (909) 484-5475; ontario.improv.com.

wed 09/18

OPEN JAM WITH SEAN AMATO AND FRIENDS

Have you ever wanted to feel like a super fly cool cat? The Hip Kitty in Claremont offers up jazz and fondue to set the scene for a classically smooth night. With the featured band Sean Amato and Friends, who regularly grace the stage, you’re sure to have an experience at this jazz club that is more than authentic—it’s rhythmic, laidback and soulful. 8pm. Hip Kitty Jazz & Fondue, 502 W. First St., Claremont, (909) 447-6700; www.hipkittyjazz.com.

calendar CALL AHEAD FOR TIMES AND COVER CHARGE. LISTING DATES AND INFORMATION ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.) If you would like to be in these listings or have information that needs to be changed/corrected, please contact us at calendar@ieweekly.com or (951) 284-0120 x585.

MUSIC 135 EAST. Every Sun Sunday Slaughterhouse. Every Tues Rock Tuesdays feat. Live bands. 10pm. Every Wed Live hip-hop. 6pm. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. ALOFT HOTEL. Every Wed Acoustic Wednesdays. 8pm. 10480 4th St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.484.2018; www. aloftontario-rc.com. BARNACLES SPORTS BAR. Fri-Sat Intersection. 1936 Mentone Blvd., Mentone, 909.794.5851; www. barnaclessportsbar.com. BENJARONG. Every Fri-Sat Live Music. 1001 Park Ave., Redlands, 909.792.3235; www. thebenjarong.com. BRIDGES HALL OF MUSIC. Sun Celliola and Friends. 3pm. C150 E. 4th St., Claremont, 909.607.2671; music.pomona.edu. THE BULLDOG PUB. Every Thurs Bob Summers and His Quartet. Every Sun Bob Summersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Open Mic Night. 4pm-8pm. Shows: 21+. 1667 N. Mountain Ave., Upland,

909.946.6614. CADILLAC RANCH SALOON. Fri-Sat Justin Foutz. 9pm. Sun Jaye Sooter. 6pm. 22581 Outer Hwy. 18, Apple Valley, 760.247.7060; www.cadillacranchav.com. CLUB TRINIDAD. Every Mon and Tues Tomcats. 7pm-11pm. The Purple Room, 1900 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.969.1800. DALE BROTHERS BREWERY. Wed Mick Rhodes. 6pm. 2120 Porterfield Wy., Upland, 909.579.0032; www.dalebrosbrewery.com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every 1st Sat Live bands feat. Nuke Mutant Promotions Rockabilly, Rock en Espanol and more. 9pm-2am. Every 2nd Fri La Nueva Cueva. 9pm-2am. Every 2nd Sat Live Rockabilly & Phsycobillthescrubdaily.com y bands feat. Empire Ent. & Blue Jean Betty. 9pm-2am. Every 3rd Fri Noche De Bandas Y Conjuntos. 9pm-2am. Every 3rd Sat Live heavy metal bands feat. Wolf Attack. 9pm2am. Every 4th Fri la Nueva Cueva. Every 4th Sat Live ska and reggae bands. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. FANTASY SPRINGS RESORT CASINO. Sat Queen Nation with Rock of Ages. Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 760.342.5000; www. fantasyspringsresort.com. FLEMING PARK. MANAFEST; Pawnshop Kings; The Altar Billies; Nickdog; The Divide; Savannah Moon; Henry Martyn Band; Sentry; DJ Triune; Roxie Jane; Renovated Roots; Steven Wesley Guiles. 2pm. 525 N. La Cadena Dr., Colton, 909.915. 9759; www.

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar lostandfoundfestival.com. FLOUR FUSION. Every Fri Live Music. 7pm. 133 N. Main St., Lake Elsinore, 951.245.1166; www.flourfusion.com. FOLK MUSIC CENTER. Sat Frank Fairfield with Tom Marion. 7:30pm. 220 Yale Ave., Claremont, 909.624.2928; www. folkmusiccenter.com. THE GLASS HOUSE. Fri S.T.F.U; A$hton Matthews; Desi Mo; Faimkills; Noir; Crilly. 7pm. Sat Mykki Blanco; DJ Larry B; Boychild; Psycho Egyptian. 7pm. 200 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.865.3802; www. theglasshouse.us. HANGAR 24 BREWERY. Every Wed Live Music. 6:30pm-9:30pm.1710 Sessums Dr., Redlands, 909.398.1400; www. hangar24brewery.com. HIP KITTY JAZZ AND FONDUE. Thurs, Aug. 12 Private Cat Radio. 7pm. Fri Big Joe & The Night Train. 8pm. Sat Rumble Kings. 8pm. Sun Solid Ray Woods. 7pm. Tues Beat Cinema. 5pm. Wed Open Jam with Sean Amato & Friends. 8pm. 502 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.447.6700; www. hipkittyjazz.com. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. Every Wed Live Music. 9pm. Every Thurs Live Entertainment/Hawaiian Reggae. 9pm. Every Fri Hawaiian Music. 5pm. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www. kealohas.com. THE L.A. COUNTY FAIR. Fri Tower of Power & Average White Band. Sat Demi Lovato. Sun Celebracion El Grito. 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona, 909.623.3111; www.fairplex.com. LA CREPERIE. Every Fri-Sat Jazz Night. 7pm-10pm. 3968 Grand Ave., Chino, 909.342.6016; www.lacreperiecafe.net.

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LAKE ALICE TRADING CO. Sat Crosstown. 8:45pm. Sun Pac Men. 8:45pm. 3616 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.7343; www. lakealicetradingco.com. LEWIS LIBRARY. Tues Acoustic Jazz Guitar. 5:30pm. 8437 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.574.4500; www.fontanalibrary.org. M15. Fri Freaky Friday feat. Strip Metal. 7pm. Sat Dirt Nasty. 8pm. Wed Black Oak Arkansas. 7pm.9022 Pulsar Ct. #H, Corona, 951.200.4465; www.m15concerts.com. MACHINE POMONA. Every 1st and 3rd Wed Open Mic Night. 273 S. Park Ave., Pomona, 909.766.0357; www.machinepomona.com. MARDI GRAS RESTAURANT. Every Sat Jeff Chaz Blues Band. 7pm. 201 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.884.5000; www.mardigrasrestaurant.com. MARGARITAS RESTAURANT. Every Sun Live Music. 10:30am. 1000 E Tahquitz Canyon Rd., Palm Springs, 760.778.3500; www. margaritasrestaurant.net. MARIO’S PLACE. Every Fri & Sat Live Music. 10pm-1am. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www.mariosplace.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Fri Dr. Stank; Dirty Birdy. Sat Calabrese; Henchmen; Wreckin Katz; Goodbye to Sunlight. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www.missiontobaccolounge.com PAPPY & HARRIET’S. Thurs, Sept. 12-Sat Cracker Duo; Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers; Hickman Dalton Gang. Sun Nakia. 8pm. Mon Ted Quinn’s Open Mic. 7pm. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown, 760.365.5956; www.pappyandharriets.com. PECHANGA RESORT AND CASINO.Tues Luis Miguel. 8pm. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.693.1819; www.pechanga. com.

PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Sat On the Roxx. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PLUM HOUSE COFFEE CLUB. Every Fri, Sat & Tues Open Mic. Night. 6pm. 3882 12th St., Riverside, 951.784.1369; www.myspace. com/theplumhouse. THE PRESS RESTAURANT. Thurs, Sept. 12 The T Special. 9pm. Fri Miss Shevaughn & Yuma Wray. 10pm. Sat Former Friends of Young Americans. 10pm. Sun Sunday Piano. 9pm. Wed Joe Atman. 9:30pm.129 N. Harvard Ave., Claremont, 909.625.4808; www. thepressrestaurant.com. REDLANDS UNDERGROUND. Every Mon Open mic night hosted by Shaina Turian. 9:30pm. 19 E. Citrus, Redlands, 909.798.1500; www.redlandsunderground.com. RIVERSIDE PLAZA. Sat Ramekega. 6pm. Sun Tierra, Flor y Canto. 6pm. 3545 Central Ave., Riverside, 951.683.1066; www. shopriversideplaza.com. ROMANO’S CONCERT LOUNGE. Every Wed Open Mic Night. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Riverside, 951.781.7662; www. theconcertlounge.com. SAN MANUEL INDIAN BINGO & CASINO. Thurs, Sept. 12. Kenny G. 6:30pm. 777 San Manuel Blvd., Highland, 909.864.5050; www.sanmanuel.com. SAN MANUEL AMPHITHEATER. Sat Iron Maiden; Megadeath; Anthrax and more. Sun Zapp; Peaches & Herb; GQ and more. 2575 Glen Helen Pkwy., Devore, 909.880.6500; www.livenation.com. SORREL BISTRO. Every First Fri Therapy feat. Live music and art. 41377 Margarita Rd., Suite F-108, Temecula, 951.296-3372; www. sorrelbistro.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Every Fri Live music. 9PM. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www. sportswatchbarandgrill.com. THE UPSIDEDOWN BAR. Every Thurs Live reggae. Every Fri Live rock music. Every Sat 80s Night. 10555 Mills Ave., Montclair, 909.626.9091; www.upsidedownbar.com. 21+. THE WIRE. Fri Are We Having Fun Yet?; 1000x; Failed to Study. 7pm. 247 N. 2nd Ave., Upland, 909.985.9466; www.thewire247. com.

UPcoming BALDY MOUNTAIN JAZZ BAND, The Press, Sept. 19. NOCHES CON RITMO, Tibbies Center Stage, Sept. 19. SAND STORM, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 19. SHINEDOWN, L.A. County Fair, Sept. 19. 8 TRACK COVER BAND, Riverside Plaza, Sept. 20. BRICK ALLEY, Barnacles Sports Bar, Sept. 20. CORE, Fantasy Springs, Sept. 20. DEADBOLT, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Sept. 20. FLATTOP TOM & HIS JUMP CATS, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 20. LYNYRD SKYNYRD, L.A. County Fair, Sept. 20. O SENSEI, The Press, Sept. 20. SOUTHERN SPIRIT, Cadillac Ranch Apple Valley, Sept. 20. STARS, The Glass House, Sept. 20. SULTAN OF ROCK, Lake Alice Trading Company, Sept. 20. BRICK ALLEY, Barnacles Sports Bar, Sept. 21. CARA C, Riverside Plaza, Sept. 21. CROSSTOWN, Pepe’s Mexican Restaurant, Sept. 21. KEYBOARD DELIGHTS WITH GENEVIEVE FEIWEN LEE, Bridges Hall of Music, Sept. 21 KILLER SHADES, Lake Alice Trading Company, Sept.21. LED ZEPAGAIN, Fantasy Springs, Sept. 21. MOVING UNITS, The Glass House, Sept. 21. NATTY VIBES, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Sept. 21. PHAT CAT SWINGER, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 21. SOUTHERN SPIRIT, Cadillac Ranch Apple

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

Valley, Sept. 21. ZENDAYA, L.A. County Fair, Sept. 21. MERLETALLICA, Cadillac Ranch Apple Valley, Sept. 22. RAMON AYALA Y SUS BRAVOS DEL NORTE, L.A. County Fair, Sept. 22. SOLID RAY WOODS, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 22. HAYMAN & SAKO, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 24. NOELANI’S POLYNESIAN DANCE REVUE, Steelworkers’ Auditorium, Sept. 24. KA’ALE & THE TRUTH, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Sept. 25. OPEN JAM WITH CARL BUNCH & FRIENDS, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 25. BRICK ALLEY, Barnacles Sports Bar, Sept. 27. DISCIPLES OF SABBATH, Lake Alice Trading Company, Sept. 27. HOIST THE COLORS, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Sept. 27. THE KID AND NIC SHOW, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 27. BRICK ALLEY, Barnacles Sports Bar, Sept. 28. ESCAPE, Fantasy Springs, Sept. 28. LIFETIME ROCKER, Pepe’s Mexican Restaurant, Sept. 28. LITTLE FAITH, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 28. LOVEDRIVE; MERLETALLICA, Cadillac Ranch Apple Valley, Sept. 28. TRAINWRECK, Lake Alice Trading Company, Sept. 28. VERY BE CAREFUL, Mission Tobacco Lounge, Sept. 28. BAD COMPANY, L.A. County Fair, Sept. 29. ORGAN RECITAL WITH DOUGLAS CLEVLAND, Bridges Hall of Music, Sept. 29. THE MAGICAL THINKERS, The Hip Kitty, Sept. 29.

beer, right here! Tues Taco Tuesdays, 75 cent tacos. 3357 University Ave., Riverside, 951.683.9520. BACK DOOR. Just a regular little ol’ bar with a juke, pool table, darts and Monday Night Football, if it’s on (and in season). 1250 E. Mission Blvd., Pomona, 909.622.6282. BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Tues Open mic music night. 7pm. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www. back2thegrind.com. BARNACLES SPORTS BAR. They’ve got plenty of specialty drinks that will turn

your calm evening of enjoying live music and good food into the night of your life! Happy Hour: 3pm-7pm. Every Tues and Thurs Karaoke. Every Wed Free jukebox. 6pm-9pm. 1936 Mentone Blvd., Mentone, 909.794.5851; www.barnaclessportsbar. com. BIG CHEESE PIZZA CO. Sun Swerve Sundays, $5 with student ID, $10 cover, $20 Vip patio. Ladies free before 10pm. 3397 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 888.784.0555; www.thebigcheesepiza.com. BLACK HORSE TAVERN. This recently

remodeled Norco hangout has ten beers on tap and daily lunch specials. Happy Hour food and drink specials Mon-Fri, 3pm7pm; all day Sun. 1825 Hamner Ave. #A, Norco, 951.278.2771. BLACK WATCH PUB. An Upland staple featuring plenty of regulars and plenty of folks just there for the live music, which happens every weekend. Thurs Darts. Fri-Sat Live bands. 497-B N. Central Ave., Upland, 909.981.6069; www.myspace.com/ blackwatchpub. BLU BAR & GRILL. Located inside the

BARS & LOUNGES 2ND AVENUE SALOON & SPORTS BAR. Come on, rack ‘em up, right over here! There’s pizza, too. Sun-Thurs Free pool all day. Fri-Sat Free pool until 7pm. 271 N. 2nd Ave., Upland, 909.946.1750. 12TH FLOOR WINE BAR & COCKTAIL LOUNGE. We’ve been told that this Fantasy Springs location is picturesque. Just imagine what you can see from the 12th floor! Fri Weekly Wine Down tastings. 7pm9pm. $30. 84-245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 800.827.2946; www.fantasyspringsresort. com. 26 DEGREES. Cold beer, hot girls, great food, good times! Tues Ladies night. Wed & Thurs Karaoke. Happy hour, daily 3pm7pm. 1535 E. Ontario Ave. #101, Corona, 951.734.1900. 135 EAST. This is the newest lounge bar on the block that not only has an extensive dining menu and plenty of musical events to choose from but you’re also confronted with one of the most difficult decisions: choosing from one of their 135 different martinis. Happy Hour: Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm. 2 for 1 beers and well drinks. 1/2 off appetizers. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. 340 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB. Every Fri-Sat 2-4-1 drinks 7pm-9pm. Every Sun All drinks 2-4-1, 7pm-9pm. Open drag contest hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race All Star Raven, 9:30pm. TIGERHEAT presents LOUD! 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.865.9340; www.340nightclub.com. ALIBI EAST. The bar’s website states that it’s all new and even “industrial strength.” Sun Beer Bust. $1.50 domestic drafts, $1 tacos. 3pm-9pm. Mon “M” Madness Mondays. Any “m” drink for $5. Tues Karaoke. 9pm-1am. Wed Happy hour all day. Thurs $3-$4-$5 drafts and wells. Fri $2 domestic bottles. 9pm. 225 S. San Antonio Ave., Pomona, 909.623.9422; www.alibieast.com. ANGEL’S SPORTS BAR. They have Keno. And a lot of other stuff, too. Plenty of bands play here. Every night Karaoke. 9pm. Thurs Toxic Thursdays feat. live music. Sun-Mon Free pool. 6pm. Wed Beer Pong. 9pm. 1650 E. 6th St., Corona, 951.371.9738; www. myspace.com/angelsbar. ART’S BAR & GRILL. Over 50 varieties of cold SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar Hilton Ontario Airport, this stop features a ton of drink specials, from drafts and wells to wines and much more. (There are food specials, too.) Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 4pm-6pm. 700 N. Haven Ave., Ontario, 909.980.0400. THE BOILER ROOM. Happy Hour, TuesSat, 7pm-10pm. 345 5th St., Redlands, 909.792.8855; www.theboilerroom.com. BOONDOCKS. It was the new bar in town. (That is, until the next one opened.) Thurs Karaoke. Fri Live bands. Sat Karaoke. Sun Open mic night. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed Industry night. 100 E. Harrison, Corona, 951.739.0646; www.myspace.com/ boondockscorona. BRANDIN’ IRON. California’s longest running honky-tonk, since 1969. Brassy, classy authentic saloon and restaurant, with a huge maple dance floor to scoot your boots. 18+ unless otherwise noted. Thurs World Famous $1.50 U-Call-Its, $2.50 domestics. 5pm-2am. Fri Ladies Night. $1 drafts, $2.50 wells. 7pm-9pm.18+. Sat Dollar Saturday, $1 drafts, 2.50 wells. 6pm2am. Tues $1 Taco Night. 6pm-1am. Wed College Night. No cover with college/ military ID. 7pm-11pm. $1 Drafts, $2 Well Drinks, $2 longnecks. Happy Hour: Tues, 6pm-1am, Wed, 7pm-3am, Thurs, 5pm-2am, Fri, 7pm-9pm, Sat, 6pm-9pm. 320 S. E St., San Bernardino, 909.888.7388; www. brandinironsaloon.com.

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THE BULLDOG PUB. Mon Comedy Night. Tues Pub Quiz. Wed Open Mic Night. Fri Karaoke. 9pm. 1667 Mountain Ave. #117, Upland, 909.946.6614. cACTUS CANTINA. Plenty of frozen specialty drinks to keep you coming back to their drink menu (there’s some good grub, too). Mon-Fri Food specials & happy hour. 3pm-6pm. 151 E. Alessandro Blvd., Riverside, 951.789.0211; www.cactuscantina.org. CADILLAC RANCH. Everything you could possibly want in a bar: karaoke, featured days; heck if you pay them they’ll even call a limo to come pick you up. Sat Karaoke Party. 9pm. Every Mon Football party 5pm. 22581 Outer Hwy. 18, Apple Valley, 760.247.7060; www. cadillacranchav.com. CANCUN BAR & GRILL. It’s a Dance club, fine dining and sports bar: Cancun Bar & Grill has it all! Daily food and drink specials. Not to mention the massive beer and liquor selection available. Thirty flat screens cover the walls with awesome surround sound. Plus free pool from 4pm -11pm. 801 Tri City Center Dr., Redlands. 909.798.5400. Capri Lounge. Just a nice local bar. Really. Ask them. We did. 1355 E. 4th St., Ontario, 909.984.5405. CARNAVAL NIGHTCLUB. You’re ideal club, completing your night of dancing and rockin music that tricks you into thinking you’re somewhere in Rio. 342 S. Thomas St.,

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

Pomona, 909.623.6600; www.carnavalclub. com. CASA 425. A gorgeous and rather hip hotel in the western half of Claremont’s Village, with a lovely lounge to boot. Sun-Thurs Happy hour with drink specials. 4pm-7pm. 425 W. 1st St., Claremont, 866.450.0425; www.casa425.com. CHAPARRAL LIVE ROOM. It’s no longer just another bar in a bowling alley, as the Live Room’s now a full-scale nightclub with a dance floor, pool tables, hi-def TVs, darts, nightly drink specials and food! Thurs, Sat & Sun Live music. Fri Karaoke. Wed Strike Lounge. 8pm. 400 W. Bonita Ave., San Dimas, 909.592.2772; www. chaparralliveroom.com. Chappie’s. Its St. Patrick’s Day all year long at this lounge pub that doesn’t have pool tables but does have two golfing machines and dart boards. Live bands, occasionally. Thurs, Sat & Sun Live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 7am-10am & 4pm-6pm. Mon & Tues Karaoke. Wed DJ. 229 E. Florida Ave., Hemet, 951.658.3410. CHARACTERS. Located in downtown Pomona’s Antique Row/Arts & Music Colony, this bar features pool tables, darts and live sports. There’s also live music and DJs in the outdoor patio. Thurs Ladies Night. Drink specials. FriSat Live bands. Sun Karaoke. 9pm. 276 E. 1st St., Pomona, 909.622.9070; www. characterspomona.com. Cherp’s Cocktails. Go here, if only to find out who or what Cherp is. Mon-Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-6pm. 8627 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.823.1234. CHULAS RESTAURANT & SPORTS BAR. Fri Karaoke. 9pm. Every 1st, 3rd & 5th Fri Funky Fridays. DJ/dancing. Top 40 hits. 401 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.391.1000; www. mtnchulas.com. CITIZENS BUSINESS BANK ARENA, Sun Cantares Corp Presenta Joan Sebastian; Ezequiel Pena. 7pm. 4000 E. Ontario Center Pkwy., Ontario. 909.244.5500; www. cbbankarena.com Clover Club. Pool tables and all that usual bar stuff. Fri & Sat Karaoke. 8pm. 25570 Baseline St., San Bernardino, 909.884.8363. CORRAL BAR & GRILL. Dining, sports and all the UFC events your eyes can handle! Mon-Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-7pm. 12345 S. Mountain Ave. #2, Chino, 909.613.5995. COYOTE BEACH. Featuring some of the best BBQ around, plus don’t miss the pool tables and air hockey. Open Tues-Sat, 4pm. Fri-Sat DJ Dance night. Tues Taco Tuesdays, $1 tacos. Tues & Wed Free pool. Wed Karaoke. 8pm. 835 N. Main St., Corona, 951.371.2225.

DBA256 GALLERY.WINE BAR. Ritzy and sophisticated, this comfy wine bar doubles as an art gallery with rotating monthly exhibits. Mon, Wed, Thurs & Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-6pm. Wine tasting daily. 6pm-9pm. 256 S. Main St., Pomona, 909.623.7600; www. dba256.com. DEMPSEY’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL. As the flier says, it’s a whole new ball game in Corona. Big screen TVs are showing all your favorite teams. (We love the Clippers!) Thurs Ladies Night. Live DJs. Tues Comedy Night. WedFri Live bands. Happy hour, 4pm-7pm. 511 N. Main St. #105, Corona, 951.270.0152; www. dempseyssportsbar.com. DUKE’S BAR & GRILL. Great food, flat screens, sports, music, dancing and more. Not to mention the intense Karaoke contests. Happy hour every day, 4pm-6pm. Every Wed Karaoke. 9pm. 3221 Iowa Ave., Riverside, 951.248.1143. ELGIN & FAGAN. Sun-Wed Free pool. 3pm-2am. Mon Guys Night. $2.50 domestic bottles for guys. 6pm-2am. Wed Ladies Night. $2.50 wells for ladies. 6pm-2am. Happy hour: daily, 3pm-6pm. 336 W. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, 909.883.8171. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. The Empire knows what’s up! Cheap drinks, tasty finger foods, five TVs, free pool and free parking. Not to mention a pretty sweet sound system, dance floor and plenty of live music and DJs to go around! Happy hour: Mon-Sat 4pm-8pm. Half-off all beers & mix drinks. Every Mon Swag Promotions. 8pm-10pm. Open Mic 10pm-2am. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. EVENTS BAR & GRILL. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed, Sat & Sun Drink specials. Happy hour, 11am-7pm. 16560 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.352.2693. FINISH LINE BAR & GRILL. Let’s put the emphasis on sports with this sports bar and grill, featuring racing-themed memorabilia, fitting for its positioning somewhere between a horse racing track and a drag strip. Wagering, lotsa TVs and, of course, plenty of food and drink, too. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 5pm7:30pm. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed Karaoke. 2201 N. White Ave., Gate 12, Pomona, 909.865.4154; www.fairplex.com/flsg. THE FLAMINGO. A staple of the Redlands bar scene—which, in the I.E., means that there are a few bars within walking distance of each other. The oftenmistakenly-called Pink Flamingo is your classic neighborhood bar that’s been open for years. Tues Karaoke. 10pm. 338 Orange St., Redlands, 909.792.9917. FOX BAR & GRILL. A hotspot in downtown

Pomona right next to the historic Fox Theater, featuring 36 flat screen TVs, live entertainment and all sorts of good grub and daily specials. Happy Hour, Mon-Fri, 5pm-8pm; Sat-Sun, 11am-8pm. 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3671. GALLI’S RESTAURANT & BAR. This nice little place keeps it lively every day of the week. Sun & Tues Karaoke. 7pm. 6620 Carnelian St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.941.1100; www.gallis.net. FRIAR TUCKS. Open for well over a decade, Tucks is all about supporting live music. From punk rock and reggae to drum & bass, the tunes are always bumpin’ in this Pomona landmark castle. Happy hour, 4pm-7pm. 540 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, 909.625.7265; www.myspace.com/friarsus. GRAZIANO’S SPORTS BAR. Sat Karaoke. 8pm. Mon-Fri Happy hour, 3pm-7pm. Wed Karaoke. 1615 Mountain Ave., Upland, 909.981.2924. The Green Frog. Guess what? That’s right! Pool tables and a juke. Fri Live bands. Wed Comedy night. 27212 Baseline St., Highland, 909.864.6169. HANGAR 24 CRAFT BREWERY. Sick of not getting fresh beer? Well, folks, this is fresh beer, as in made right before your very own eyes. Pale Ale or an Orange Wheat, anyone? Tasting hours Mon-Fri, 11am-9pm. 1710 Sessums Dr., Redlands, 909.389.1400; www.hangar24brewery.com HARD HATS. They have your favorite game or race on the large screen satellite TVs, NFL Sunday Ticket, pool, games and an exclusive smoking room. Last Wed of every month Lingerie Party. You can get your beer from a chick in a bikini or lacy underthings. (Not sure if you have to wear the lingerie yourself.) 1950 S. Four Wheel Dr., Norco, 951.734.0276; www.clubzone.com. HAROLD’S SALOON. Hey, they got some of them pool tables here—and some chillywilly beer! What more do you need? Just a life-sized pig in the corner. 3834 Megginson Ln., Riverside; 951.359.5261. HI-BROW. Probably one of the coolest “dive” bars anywhere because it actually hasn’t been overrun with poser Joe Cools, instead catering to the up-and-coming generation of hapless barflies. Open 365 days a year—which means you really don’t have to sit through an entire Christmas dinner with your relatives. 547 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, 909.626.9340. Hideaway. Oh, yeah. Pool, juke and some sweet, sweet sounds of Ernie the Mailman singin’ the Everly Brothers. Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. Sun Free pool. 32392 Mission Trail, Lake Elsinore, 951.245.4919. HIP KITTY JAZZ & FONDUE. A swanky little joint with great bar and a beautiful stage featuring live jazz most nights. Open TuesSun, 6:30pm-2am. 502 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.447.6700; www.hipkittyjazz.com. THE HOOKUP. Neighborhoody gay bar with a juke, pool table and a restaurant in back. Thurs Pool tournament. 8pm. SatSun Specials. 10am-2pm. Sun Beer Bust. 3pm-8pm. Wed Karaoke! 8pm. 1047 E. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.620.2844; www.hook-up.net. JOE’S BAR & GRILL. “The fun flows from your head to your toes when you party at Joe’s.” I’m mad that I didn’t write that catchphrase myself. Thurs Family Karaoke Night. 7:30pm-11:30pm. Fri Rockin’ Karaoke Night. 10pm-2am. Sat Live bands. 10pm. Sun Champagne Brunch. 10am-2pm. Tues Taco Night. Wed Spaghetti Night. 10909 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.637.3931. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. This authentic Hawaiian restaurant is unlike any L&L Hawaiian Barbeque you’ve ever had. Not to mention their very own Mai Tai Lounge this features some neat drink specials. Mon Game Night. Tues Karaoke. 9pm. Wed Ladies Night feat. food and drink specials for the ladies. Mon-Sat Happy hour. 2pm-7pm. Late Night Happy hour. 9pm-close. Sun Happy hour. 2pm-6pm. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www. kealohas.com. KELLY’S SPORTS BAR & BILLIARDS. Yep,

they’ve got the sports, the pool table and some live music to rock the house, too. Have fun. Mon-Thurs Happy hour. 10pm-1am. Fri-Sat Karaoke. 5402 Philadelphia Ave., Chino, 909.591.8770. KICKS SPORTS PUB. All the sports and all the pub you’ve ever wanted, in the heart of downtown Fontana. Thurs Kamikazes. $1.50 all night. Fri-Sat Karaoke & drink specials. 9pm-1:45am. Sun Pool Tournament. 4pm. Tues Ladies Night. Shots $1 off. $6 pitchers. Wed Tequila Wednesdays. Happy hour, 10am12pm, 5pm-7pm. 16788 Arrow Blvd., Fontana, 909.350.1160. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, RIVERSIDE. Every Wed Geeks Who Drink Live Trivia. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. #532, Riverside, 951.682.2933; www.killarneys.com. KIM’S SPORTS BAR. Nearly a dozen beers on tap and over a hundred varieties of liquor for your drinkin’ pleasure. Plus, enough TVs to ensure no game goes missed. Happy hour daily, 3pm-7pm. Tues Karaoke. 9pm. Thurs Bike Night. 6pm. 2994 Rubidoux Blvd., Riverside, 951.686.2200. KNOCKERS SPORTS BAR. Don’tcha just love the name? Gotta have a little excitement with your drinks. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. 5363 Arrow Hwy., Montclair, 909.445.0301. LAKE ALICE TRADING CO. “The Lake” has been around forever, and offers a sports bar scene with something for everyone: pinball, plasma screen TVs and live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. Fri-Sat Live bands. Mon Monday Night Football. Tues Taco Tuesday, beer pong, free pool. Wed Live bands. 3616 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.7343; www. lakealicetradingco.com. LIAM’S IRISH PUB The local Cheers of Colton! Come down for live music, karaoke, comedy and their 38 beers on tap - and you have to at least try the Leprechaun Nuts! Sun, Mon & Thurs. Karaoke. Tues Comedy Night with $1 tacos and $3 Corona. Wed. Free pool. Everyday. Happy hour. 11am-6:30pm. 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900; www. liamsirishpub.com. LIMERICKS TAVERN. This neat place sports cool wooden décor and about 15 TVs! Try out some Irish Nachos and watch your favorite sport or well, watch multiple sports at the same time because you totally can. Happy Hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-6pm. 99 cent Draft when you buy one at regular price. 1234 West Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.920.5630. LIT. It’s Fantasy Springs newest bar and lounge (formerly known as the “Fantasy Lounge”). Fri-Sat Live bands. 9pm. 84245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. THE LOUNGE. The drink specials here start at 6 a.m. Yeah, what are you doing at that time of the morning anyways? Downing a glass of milk with your toast or something? Happy hour daily, 4pm-7pm. Sunday $2.50 Yager Shot. $4 Yager Bomb. Tues $1.75 Budlights. Every Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. 1125 W. 6th St., Corona, 951.808.9122; www. theloungebarcorona.com. LOUNGE 33. Legendary martinis, right here! (The Brooklyn Filthy Martini is sort of like the Amy Winehouse of cocktails—it might be a mess, but definitely worth a try.) Sun Karaoke. Mon-Thurs Happy hour. 4pm-7pm. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr., Riverside, 951.784.4433; www.loungethirtythree.com. Lulu’s Hideout. Well, Little Lulu certainly has her ears full with karaoke seven nights a week! Yep, karaoke every day! Mon-Sat Happy hour. 4pm-7pm. 1958 W. Rialto Ave., San Bernardino, 909.884.3244. M15. Your one stop spot for one awesome mix of both cover and up and coming bands. Every Fri ’80s Night. $5 cover. $3 domestic drafts, $5 skinny girl margaritas, $3 gummy bear shots. Every Sun Sunday Night ComedI.E. $15. 1/2 off appetizers, $3 domestic drafts. 9022 Pulsar Ct. #H, Corona, 951.200.4465; www.m15concerts.com. MARIO’S PLACE. Northern Italian Cuisine,

Tim Lee

Fri, Sept. 13-Sat, Sept 14 Go to college and get a degree so you can get a good job . . . aren’t those some words of advice many of us hear in our lifetime? Some of us choose to listen to that and get educated, while others are content with just cracking jokes and being the class clown. These two personalities normally don’t see eye-to-eye, but in the rare case of Tim Lee, Darwin’s theory of evolution wasn’t going to stop him from pursuing his dream. He was destined to be a scientist because he had the brains to achieve that, but life doesn’t always work out as you’d expect. He graduated magna cum laude (that means “with great honor” to the rest of us that didn’t go to college) from UC San Diego with honors in biology. If that wasn’t enough, he continued his education and completed his Ph.D. at UC Davis. After spending years developing simulation and analytical models of population dynamics, he just got bored. He tried something a little more fun—stand-up comedy—and was immediately hooked. His shows are both smart and funny, with a scientific approach that no other comic puts on. The transition was more seamless than you might expect, because science is straight logic while comedy is twisted logic. He switched from giving lectures to smart people that would try and pick apart his logic, to drunk people trying to pick apart his jokes. He inventively uses PowerPoint as a prop to easily explain the principles behind his jokes. Let this legitimate doctor of comedy prescribe you some laughter. (Derek Obregon) IE Flappers Comedy Club, 532 W. First St., Claremont, (818) 845-9721; www.flapperscomedy.com. Various Times. $20.

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar weekend music and specialty drinks? I’m in. Fri $4 Selected Craft Beers. 9pm. Sat Specialty Cocktail. Classic Rock and Funk music. $3 off each drink on list. 9pm. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www.mariosplace.com. MARQUIS COCKTAIL LOUNGE. The other happiest place on Earth, it’s the perfect hangout for a couple drinks and a fine dine. Booze ‘n’ meat…it’s what’s for dinner! Fri-Sat DJs & live music. 9pm. 1036 W. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, 909.882.9342. THE MAVERICK. If you’re at a saloon, and it’s in Norco, chances are you’re in the right spot for some country and western music action. Sun-Thurs Karaoke 8pm-2am. Fri-Sat Live music 9pm-2am. Tues-Thurs $1 tacos. Happy hour Sun-Sat, 2pm-7pm. 3841 Old Hamner, Norco. 951.734.6640. www. mavericksaloonnorco.com. MCALAN’S PUB & GRILL. Great food with bands and Top 40 playing weekends. Thurs Live music. 9pm. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed $5 Steak Night. 5pm. 6321 Haven Ave., Alta Loma, 909.484.7847. MENACE MOTORCYCLE BAR & GRILL. We’re wondering what the dudes who ride their 1200cc Harleys to this place think of our sputtering 49cc mopeds. (They’re probably cool with ‘em.) Well-known for their BBQ along the Ortega Highway. Thurs Karaoke 7pm. Fri-Sun Live music. 8pm. 15573 Grand Ave., Lake Elsinore, 951.609.0555; www. menacesportsbarandgrill.com. The Menagerie. We heard this petite, gay dance club isn’t for old geezers anymore, as it was back in the ‘80s. Drag nights and ‘80s nights are part of the weekly fare. Mon Karaoke. 8pm. Drink specials Mon-Fri. 3581 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.8000; www.clubmenagerie.com. MIGUEL’S CALIFORNIA MEXICAN COCINA & CANTINA. This family-owned joint actually has three locations and their margaritas are stuff of straight legend. 1920 Frontage Rd., Corona, 951.520.8911; www. miguelsrestaurant.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Offering live music seven nights a week, plus a world-class selection of cigars in a climate-controlled walk-in humidor, and a secluded smoking lounge. Of course, there’s a full bar with lunch and dinner menus, too. Thurs I Luv Dubstep, 1/2 price drinks from 10pm-1am. Tues $2 Tuesdays. $2 Well drinks. $2.50 Domestic drafts. Wed $7 PBR tall can and whiskey shot. Summertime happy hour every day, 11am-7pm, $3 domestics and wells, $4 imports, $5 top shelf liquor. “The Pre-Game,” every day, 8pm-10pm. $2 domestic bottles, $3 wells. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www. missiontobaccolounge.com. Morgan’s Tavern. Tues Free pool. Sun Drink specials. 4850 Tyler Ave., Riverside, 951.785.6775. MORONGO CASINO RESORT & SPA. You’ve already got a perfect gamblin’ spot in Cabazon, what more could you possibly want? Oh that’s right, the recent arrival of an amazing Mexican food restaurant called Tacos & Tequila. Drink up, pig out. $5 food and drink happy hour, 2pm-6pm & 9pm-close. every day. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www. morongocasinoresort.com. MU RESTAURANT. Every Sat Electro Nights. 309 W. State St., Redlands, 909.798.7747; www.mumartini.com. THE MUSIC ROOM. Thurs & Sun Free pool. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-10pm. 4360 N. Sierra Way, San Bernardino, 909.883.6513. The office saloon. Originally known as Flashbacks, this place has taken a complete 360 with more flat screens added to the mix, including one 150

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inch big screen and the added DIRECTV content. Not to mention the newly added stage, dance floor and weekend live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. Drink specials. 123 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.884.3088. OASIS NIGHT CLUB. Every Fri-Sat $3 drink specials. Entrance free until 9pm. Every Sun Drag Idol, 18+. Every Wed $3 U-Call-Its all night, $4 premiums. 50% off food menu 10pm-1am. 1386 E. Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.920.9590; www.oasisnightclubupland.com. O’Hara’s Cocktail Lounge. So, we know this totally sounds like an Irish pub, but guess what? It’s just a regular ol’ bar! What the hell’s the world coming to? Thurs Karaoke. Mon Free pool. Wed Free darts. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm. 15788 Grand Ave., Lake Elsinore, 951.678.3512. O’LEARY’S IRISH PUB. The luck of the Irish is here, with pool tables, darts, shuffleboard and sports viewing. 142 S. Riverside Dr., Rialto, 909.875.3717. OMOKASE. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-6pm; Sat, 8pm-close. 8220 Haven Ave. #102, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.941.4111; www. omokase.com. PAPPY & HARRIET’S. Mon Ted Quinn’s Open Mic Night. 7pm. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown, 760.365.5956; www. pappyandharriets.com. PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Pepe’s has got all the right ingredients for a good time: sizzling hot Mexican dishes, live music and plenty of food and drink specials. You can’t deny the place its dues; the restaurant has been “having fun since 1971!” Every Fri Karaoke. Every Tues Taco Tuesdays. Every Wed MargaRITa Wednesdays. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PEPITO’S. Nothing says authentic Mexican food like a big screen TV and a pool table. But you can actually learn something here—each booth has two pictures that tell a story of Mexican life and history. Happy hour, Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. 6539 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.788.2652. PLAYERS BAR & GRILL. Players plays host to some of the best pool players in the nation before they head off to Vegas for the Nationals. If you think you’ve got game, show up for one of the tournaments. Free pool every day until 7pm. Fri-Sun Karaoke. 9pm. Mon-Fri Drink specials. 5pm-7pm. 11001 Central Ave., Ontario, 909.628.8495. RA SUSHI. Check out this great sushi stop, full with unique rolls to satisfying any sushi fan. Happy hour Mon-Sat, 3pm-7pm; Sun, 8pm-12pm. 2785 Cabot Dr., Corona, 951.277.7491; www.rasushi.com. 13925 City Center Dr., Chino Hills, 909.902.0044; www. rasushi.com. RED FOX BAR. If you’re looking for a place to have a few drinks and hang out then this joint is perfect. With Thurs College Night, Drink Specials. Sun Free Pool. 10am6pm. $3 Wells. $2.50 domestic beer. Tues Ladies Night, drink specials. Wed Free Pool. 10pa-6pm. Mon-Fri Drink Specials. 3142 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.882.9337; www. facebook.com/redfoxsb. REVOLUTION RESTAURANT & NIGHT LIFE. Restaurant’s open weekdays, 11am-7pm. Thurs $2 drafts, $5 teas, $4 Captains. Fri Buy two drinks and a meal, get second meal free. Mon $2 Dos Equis, $2 Bud Light, $4 Micheladas. Tues 50 cent tacos, $3 Mexican beers, $4 margaritas. Wed 25 cent wings, $3 bottled beers. Happy Hour: 11am-7pm. 1327 W. Colton Ave., Redlands, 909.335.9700. THE RIVER LOUNGE. Sat Live music. Drink specials all night. $2 shots, $4 wells. 9608 Mission Blvd., Riverside, 951.685.5383. Rob Kelly’s After Five Cocktail Lounge. Kelly’s

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

got the pool, darts and juke to keep you satisfied. Thurs & Tues Karaoke. Wed Ladies night. 133 N. Harvard St., Hemet, 951.652.5300. ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Every Tues Team Trivia. 8pm. Every Thurs Jukebox Thursday. 9pm. 14700 Pipeline Ave., Chino Hills, 909.597.3304; www.roscoesfamousdeli. com. ROYAL FALCONER BRITISH PUB. There’s the atmosphere: dark décor, long and stately bar and British memorabilia. There’s the food: Scottish eggs, bangers and mash, steak and kidney pie. And then there’s the beer: 20 different beers on tap and another 30 varieties in bottles. Bloody marvelous! Thurs Karaoke. 8pm. Tues LGBT Community & Supporters Night. 9pm. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-6pm. 106 Orange St., Redlands, 909.307.8913; www. royalfalconer.com. Rumors. A beer and wine bar that proves you can still butcher Elvis songs without shooting tequila first. Fri-Sat Karaoke. 8:30pm. 1125 Calimesa Blvd., Calimesa, 909.795.4808. SADDLE SORE SALOON. Hey cowboy, this place’s one of Norco’s finest drink and dance spots. Happy hour daily, 3pm-6pm. 343 6th St., Norco, 951.272.8283; www. myspace.com/saddlesoresaloon. SCREAMING CHICKEN SALOON. You better be a biker, or at least like them, when you check out this joint. We already give it our “coolest name ever” award. 18169 Cajon Blvd., San Bernardino, 909.880.0056. SHAMROCKS GRILLE & PUB. Feelin’ lucky? Try your Irish on for size over here. Tues, Fri & Sat Live entertainment. Mon Karaoke. Tues Taco Tuesday. Wed Luck of the Irish Drink Specials. 4020-B Chino Hills Pkwy., Chino Hills, 909.597.8333; www.myspace.com/ shamrocksbar. SIMPLICITEA. Your quaint little tea shop with every bit of relaxing herb drinks you can imagine. Every Sat 2-4-1 Student Night. 6pm8pm. Excludes Merchandise. 7890 Haven Ave., Suite 11, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.917.8600; www.facebook.com/ simplicitea. SKYFOX LOUNGE. You don’t have to drive to Hollywood to get that modern day club vibe, which is exactly the atmosphere that Sky Fox boasts. A short drive to Pomona and you’re living it up with professional DJs and an awesome club experience. Every Thurs Rock it! Awesome 80s, Indie, and Electro music. Every Fri Access Fridays with Hip-hop, Mash-ups, Electro. Every Sat Skyfox Saturdays feat. Top 40, Hip-hop, House. Dress Code strictly enforced. 345 Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3674; www. skyfoxpomona.com. THE SPORTSMAN BAR. It’s one of our favorite stops when we’re rollin’ down Temescal Canyon. Knock back a cold one in style! Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-6pm. Smoking patio available. 21779 Temescal Cyn., Corona, 951.277.9786; www. facebook.com/pages/The-SportsmanBar/115557245137996. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Any bar with the words “sports” and “watch” in its name is bound to be the go-to place for the communal viewing of American athletics. Paired with weekly deals of pizza and delicious chicken wings, you’ve got everything you need to make each day feel like Super Bowl Sunday. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 3PM-6PM. Mon-Thurs, 10PM-close. Thurs $3.75 Pint Night, 3PM-8PM. Three for $5 street tacos. Fri Live music. 9PM. Sat .65 cent wings, 11AM-5PM. Sun Recovery Sundays $4 Bloody Marys, champagne cocktails and michiladas. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www. sportswatchbarandgrill.com. SUSHI KAWA. Innovative and refreshing rolls are something you tastebuds can’t help but crave. Add a few flat screens to the mix for entertainment value and you’ve got the best sushi bar ever. “Lady Bartenders” are certainly a plus, too. Happy hour: Everyday, 3pm-7pm. Sat Drink

specials. $4 Well Drinks, $3 House Wine, $9.95 60oz Beer Pitcher. 469 Magnolia Ave., Ste. 101, Corona, 951.280.0398. TORO SUSHI BAR. Every 2nd Wed Way Back Wednesdays. Hosted by Money B. No cover. 9pm. 1520 N. Mountain Ave., Ontario, 909.983.8676; www.waybackwednesdays. net. THE UPSIDEDOWN BAR. Large bar, pool, music, dancing: this place has it all! Happy Hour, 4pm-7pm every day. Mon 2 Drinks for $5. Tues $3 Mexican Beers. Wed $3 Well Drinks. Thurs Karaoke. 10555 Mills Ave., Montclair, 909.626.9091; www. upsidedownbar.com. 21+. VIP CLUB. This gay hot spot is not your grandma’s bar/nightclub. Open 3pm2am. Call for cover. 18+. Thurs, Sun & Tues Karaoke. 9pm-1am. 3673 Merrill Ave., Riverside, 951.784.2370; www.vip-nightclub. com. VIVE TEQUILA LOUNGE AND NIGHTCLUB. If you seek a lounge for Mature guests then this might be what you’ve been searchin’ for. The ultimate meet spot for ladies 21 and older (and men 25 and older according to their site) is the perfect place to grab a uniquely mixed drink and meet someone new. There’s plenty of room for dancing and high ceilings that will make you feel like you’re partying it up somewhere in New York. Thurs-Sun Night Club Dancing. 184 W. Third St. Pomona, 909.622.2020; www.vivelounge.com. WATER WHEEL SALOON. Sun Happy hour all day. Mon Spin the Wheel, $1 Pizza Night and free pool. Tues $1 Taco Tuesday. Karaoke, 6:30pm. Wed $3 domestic beer and wells. Karaoke, 6:30pm. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 2pm-6pm. 980 6th St., Norco, (951) 898-4630; www.waterwheelnorco.com. THE WOODEN NICKEL. Great jukebox here. Mon Free pool all night. Tues $2.75 tall cans and 75 cent tacos. Sun-Mon $2 Wieners. 842 Kendall Dr., San Bernardino, 909.883.4317. WOODY’S BAR & GRILL. Happy Hour SunSat, 5pm-7pm. Fri & Sat Karaoke. 8pm-1am. 1528 W. Holt, Ontario. 909.984.2127. WORTHINGTON’S TAVERN. DJs spin here every night, there’s a full bar with lots of drink specials and a kitchen that stays open late servin’ up some specialty pizzas. Check out some of the live bands and burlesque shows, too. 3587 University Ave., Riverside, 951.779.9169; www.facebook. com/worthingtonstavern. Ziggi’s BAR. We used to love that Ziggy guy. No, not David Bowie, nor that baldheaded cartoon guy. This place loves to tout its “great neighborhood bar” experience. See it for yourself. Thurs & Sat Pool tournaments. 8471 Cherry Ave., Fontana, 909.829.9904.

DANCE AND DJs 135 EAST. Every Fri Vertigo Fridays. Ladies get in free before 11pm. Every Sat DJ LSDanni; DJ Slim. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. 340 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB. Every Fri-Sat Go-Go Dancers. Every Sun Open drag contest hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race All Star Raven, 9:30pm. TIGERHEAT presents LOUD! 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.865.9340; www.340nightclub.com. ACE HOTEL. Every Fri DJ Sodality; Wildcat. 10pm. Every Sat DJ Odysey. 10pm. 701 E Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9900; www.acehotel.com/palmsprings. ALIBI EAST. Every Thurs Club 3-4-5. $6 cover, free before 9pm. Every Fri Slammed and Sexy Fridays. 9pm. Every Sat Sinful Saturdays. 9pm. 225 S. San Antonio Ave., Pomona, 909.623.9422; www.alibieast.com. AGUA CALIENTE CASINO. Every Fri-Sat DJ Dynamic Dave. 9pm. 32-250 Bob Hope Dr., Rancho Mirage, 888.999.1995; www. hotwatercasino.com. ALOFT ONTARIO-RANCHO CUCAMONGA. Every Fri DJ Severe. 8pm. Every Mon-Wed

Twilight. 5pm-7pm. Every Wed Uncorked and Unplugged.7pm. 10480 4th St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.484.2018; www. aloftontario-rc.com. CANTON BISTRO. Every Fri Friday Night Heat. Top 40/remixes. Sat Social Saturdays. 21+. Electro/’80s/club mix. 10pm-2am. 9980 Alabama St., Redlands, 909.335.6688; www.myspace.com/cantonbistro; www. cantonbistro.com. CHAPARRAL LIVE ROOM. Every Wed Strike Lounge DJ Mic Pro; guest DJs. 10pm. 400 W. Bonita Ave., San Dimas, 909.592.2772; www.chaparralliveroom.com. CHARACTERS. Every Thurs Vinyl Thursdays feat. AWOL-One; Roach; Gonzo. 9pm. 276 E. 1st St., Pomona, 909.622.9070; www. characterspomona.com. CITRUS CITY GRILLE. Every Sat Pulse Lounge feat. DJ ER. Top 40. Drink specials. 10pm. 2765 Lakeshore Dr., Corona, 951.277.2888; www.citruscitygrille.com. CORNER POCKET. Every Thurs Kaos Thursdays. Electronic. House. Top 40. 9pm. 40575 California Oaks Rd. #D1, Murrieta, 951.677.7155; www.myspace.com/ cornerpocketmurrieta. COYOTE LOUNGE. Every Thurs Hip Hop Live. $10 before 10pm. $15 afterwards. 21+. Pomona Valley Mining Co., 1777 Gillette Rd., Pomona, 909.623.3515; www. facebook.com/Lounge.Coyote. DBA256 GALLERY WINE BAR. Every Sat DJ’s JB, Mike Styles, Gabe Real, Stryk One. 9pm. Every Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri Happy hour. 4pm-6pm. Every Tues Open Mic Night. 256 S. Main St., Pomona, 909.623.7600; www. dba256.com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every 1st Fri ’80s Discoteque feat. DJ Eser; Rock en Espanol, New Wave & KROQ FlashBacks feat. DJ Eser & DJ Lonz. Every Mon DJ Lonz mixing hip hop, house, techno and top ’40s. Every Wed Wet Wednesday feat. DJ Lonz. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. FANTASY SPRINGS RESORT CASINO. Every Fri and Sat Live Dance Bands. 9pm. 84-245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 900.827.2946; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. FOX BAR & GRILL. Thurs-Sat Live DJs. 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3671. GOODFELLAS. Happy hour: 4pm-7pm. Every Wed-Sat Club Image with DJ CrazyGabe, DJ Jon Jon and DJ Effects. Every Sun Club Decades SIN Sundays. Drink specials. Music videos.DJ Johnny Holmez. 8034 Haven Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.987.3005; www.myspace.com/goodfellasclub. IMAGINE THAT. Every Sat Celebrity Saturdays. Live R&B and jazz bands and DJs with old-school R&B. 8pm. $10 before 10pm. 965 Foothill Blvd., Upland, 951.833.6606, 909.264.1752. J. DEE’S LANDING. Every Thurs DJs. 340 N. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.320.1758. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. Every Fri -Sat Classic Rock and R&B from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. 9pm-close. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www.kealohas. com. KICKS SPORTS PUB. Every Fri-Sat DJ. 9pm1:45am. 16788 Arrow Blvd., Fontana, 909.350.1160. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, TEMECULA. Every Tues DJ Twy; DJ Krim. 10pm. Every Fri DJ Krim. 10pm. Sat DJ Omry. 10pm. 32475 Highway 79 South G101, Temecula, 951.302.8338; www.killarneys.com. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, RIVERSIDE. Every Tues College Night. DJ Twy and DJ Krim. Every Fri DJ Krim. 10pm. Every Sat Guest DJ. 10pm. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. Ste 532, Riverside, 951.682.2933; www. killarneys.com. MARGARITA BEACH. Every Tues Tilt Tuesdays. Every Thurs College Night. 50 cent drafts 8pm-10pm. $2 U-Call-It shots all night. Every Fri $1 Drink Fridays. Every Sat 99.1 Saturdays. 1987 S. Diners Ct., San Bernardino, 909.890.9993; www.facebook. com/MargaritaBeach.

MARIO’S PLACE. Every Thurs-Sat V26. DJs spin ‘80s and ‘90s alternative and classic rock. 9pm. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www.mariosplace.com. MEDITERRANEAN PALACE. Every Fri-Sat The Palace feat. DJ Assault. 9pm-2am. 1223 University Ave. #130, 951.781.8900, 951.525.2561; www.mpgrillandcafe.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Every Mon Liquid Lounge with DJ Salazam, trip hop/ downtempo. 9pm. Every Tues Tall Can Tuesdays with Wido & Bane.and ADSR events. $5 tall cans, $3 well drinks. 9pm. Every Thurs F.A.T. Thursdays with DJ Nasty Nativ TOP 40/hip-hop. $3 well drinks and domestics, $4 calls and imports, $5 long islands and AMFs. 9pm. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www. missiontobaccolounge.com. OKAWA SUSHI LOUNGE. Every Fri DJs spin hip-hop, R&B, old school. Drink specials & sushi served all night. 9:30pm. 8158 Day Creek Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.646.7658. PECHANGA RESORT & CASINO. Every Fri DJ Rico. 9pm. $20. 21+. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.770.7455; www. silkatpechanga.com. PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Every Fri Live DJs. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PEPITO’S. Every Fri Club Jam Generator. Mod/soul/Brit-pop. Free before 10:30pm, $5 after. Every Sat Club Skandal. 18+. 6539 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.788.2652; www.myspace.com/pepitoscantina. RED FOX BAR. Every Thurs College Night with DJ Frog. 9pm. Every Fri-Sat DJ Vasco. 9pm. Every Tues Ladies Night. 3142 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.882. 9337; www. facebook.com/redfoxsb. REVOLUTION RESTAURANT & NIGHT LIFE. Every Fri Club EVO. Hip-hop, R&B, techno, mash-ups, Top 40. Every Sat Team Fresh. Hip-hop/R&B. 1327 W. Colton Ave., Redlands, 909.335.9700; www. revolutionnight.com. RIVERSIDE PLAZA. Every Fri DJ Jon Smooth; Guest DJs. 7pm. 3545 Central Ave., Riverside, 951.683.1066; www. shopriversideplaza.com. ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Every Thurs DJ K. Ush. 10pm. 14700 Pipeline Ave., Chino Hills, 909.597.3304; www.roscoesfamousdeli. com. ROYAL FALCONER BRITISH PUB. Every Thurs Rollicking Good Fun. DJs. $2 drafts, $2 shots, $3 wells. 9pm. Every Sat Back to the ‘80s Night. ‘80s music. 106 Orange St., Redlands, 909.307.8913; www. royalfalconer.com. SAN MANUEL INDIAN BINGO AND CASINO. Every Thurs DJ Orbitz at the Pines. 10pm. Every Fri DJ Victor at the Pines. 10pm. Every Sat DJ Hi-tone at the Pines, Top 40. 10pm. 777 San Manuel Blvd., Highland, 800.359.2464; www.sanmanuel.com. Shows: 21+. SKYFOX LOUNGE. Every Thurs Rock it! Awesome 80s, Indie, and Electro music. Every Fri Access Fridays with Hip-hop, Mash-ups, Electro. Every Sat Skyfox Saturdays feat. Top 40, Hip-hop, House. Dress Code strictly enforced. 21+. 345 Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3674; www. skyfoxpomona.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Every Sat Videopolis DJ’s Music and Videos. 9PM. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www. sportswatchbarandgrill.com. TAP DADDY’S. Every Fri-Sat DJs. 2505 S. San Jacinto Ave., San Jacinto, 951.652.5686; www.myspace.com/tapdaddysbar. TORO SUSHI. Every Sat DJ Primal. 9pm. 1520 N. Mountain Ave., Ontario, 909.983.8676; www.waybackwednesdays.net. TREVI ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. Every Thurs Club Illusion & The Playground. Hip-hop/ funk/house/old school. Every Fri College Night Fridays. DJs. 32250 Mission Trl., Lake Elsinore, 951.674.6080; www.myspace. com/trevinightlife.

Godspeed You! Black Emperor Sat, Sept. 14

Godspeed You! Black Emperor is a new kind of band that’ll have you enthralled by its musical experience. I know you probably hear this all the time, but it really does sound like nothing you’ve heard before. The band got its name from a 1976 Japanese documentary with the same name that follows the exploits of a Japanese biker gang, the Black Emperors. Following the anarchy and chaos that ran wild in the movie, the band chooses a similar avenue for its music. It all started one day in 1994 when three musicians sat together and played a couple of shows. Its early music featured a rotating door where all kinds of local musicians would come and go after playing a few shows. Once GY!BE released the album F # A #, things got more serious and a solid nine member lineup emerged. Its music is somewhat minimalist at first glace, but will build in anticipation to some grand crescendos when you listen long enough. You have to see these guys live if you want the best experience, not because the music sounds better (even though it does) but because you get the complete message that the band intended. Not everyone likes this message though. For instance, Michael Moore references an incident the band had in his book, Dude, Where’s my Country?, when the guys were accused of being terrorists at a gas station in Oklahoma during a 2003 tour. Police held them until the F.B.I. could do an investigation, but they were eventually let go with no charges. Each show is packed with voice samples and videos that entertain its beliefs of anarchy and anti-government. (Derek Obregon) IE The Fox Theater, 301 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, (877) 283-6976; www.foxpomona.com. 7pm. $25-$28.

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar THE VAULT MARTINI BAR. Every Thurs DJ Darcie. Every Fri DJ Jose V. 20 E. Vine St., Redlands, 909.798.2399. THE VIBE. Every Thurs Club Skittles. Hip-hop. Every Sat Club 7. Every Sun Sin Sunday. Every Tues $2 Totally ‘80s Tuesdays. $2 drink specials. 8pm. Every Wed Logikal Wednesdays. 1805 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.0310; www.myspace. com/thevibebarandgrill. VIP CLUB. Every Wed Dancing with DJ Darcie. 8pm. Thurs-Fri DJ Julie. 9pm. Sat DJ Darcie. 7:45pm. 21+. (Ages 18-20) $5 with free non-alcoholic drink ticket.) 9pm. 3673 Merrill Ave., Riverside, 951.784.2370; www. vip-nightclub.com.

THEATRE ARIA’S. Everyone has to experience change in life, through break-ups, losses of loved ones and trying to make ends meet. Come see a play that takes a light-hearted approach to deal with the many changes we have to deal with in life and how to move on and move forward, even when it’s difficult. Shows: Sept. 13, 14, 15, 20, 21, 22. The Sandra R. Courtney Community Playhouse, 150 San Bernardino Ave., Rialto, 909.873.8514; www.rialtocommunityplayers.org. DARLING YOU SLAY ME. The Gourmet Detective is a comical, musical, murder mystery dinner show theater. Come laugh, witness a crime and help solve the mystery. Your waiters, cocktail servers, and even the piano player will be suspect. Every Fri & Sat. The Avila Terrace Theatre, 3663 Main St., Riverside, www. avilaterrace.com. THE DINNER DETECTIVE. If you’ve always felt like you’d make a great Sherlock Homes, then head over to The Dinner Detective. You can help solve a funny murder case while enjoying a four-course plated dinner. Eat with caution, because anyone at your table could be the killer! Every Sat. The Doubletree by Hilton, 222 N. Vineyard Ave., Ontario, 909.937.0900. www.thedinnerdetective.com/sites/ ontario. THE FOX ON THE FAIRWAY. Ken Ludwig is the only visionary who is able to make a man’s love affair with golf into a hilarious and romantic adventure on the stage. Come check it out for yourself as this over-the-top performance makes you laugh about love and life on the green. Opens Fri, Sept. 13. Shows: Sept. 14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 27, 28, 29. Riverside Community Players, 4026 Fourteenth St., Riverside, 909.639.1200; www. riversidecommunityplayers.com. SPELLING BEE. Six kids from Putnam County, New York will compete against each other and the audience in this fictional spelling bee—resulting in a comedy that is sure to make everyone laugh with this hilarious mix of words. Opens Fri, Sept. 13. Shows: Sept. 14, 15, 20, 21, 22, 27, 28, 29. The Grove Theatre, 276 E. Ninth St., Upland, 909.920.4343; www. grovetheatre.com. SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET. Revenge has never been so sweet for this exiled bible who returns seeking revenge against a judge who wrongfully accused him and his wife. This chilling and heart-pounding play will surely give the faint of heart nightmares. Opens Sept. 13. Shows: Sept, 14, 15, 19, 21, 22, 26, 28, 29, Oct 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13. Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre, 455 W. Foothill Blvd., Claremont, 909.626.1254; www.candlelightpavilion.com. TERRA NOVA. This suspenseful

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performance gives insight into the dangerous expedition led by Captain Robert Falcon Scott, as him and his team reach their unfortunate end after setting out be the first people to reach the South Pole in 1911. Shows: Sept. 13, 14, 20, 21, 27, 28. Chino Community Theatre, 13123 7th St., Chino, 909.590.1149; www. chinocommunitytheatre.org.

PERFORMING ARTS THE AUREAU VISTA GRAND BALLROOM. Sat Groove Night. 6pm-7pm. 3840 Lemon St., Riverside, 800.870.6069. BRANDIN’ IRON. Every Thurs-Sun Dance Lessons. 7:30pm. 320 S. E St., San Bernardino, 909.888.7388; www.brandinironsaloon.com. CAFÉ SEVILLA. Every Fri The Art of Flamenco Dinner Show. 6:30pm. Every Sat Gypsy Fusion Dinner Show. 7:30pm. 3252 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.778.0611; www.cafesevilla. com. THE COLONY AT LOFT 204. Every Tues Beginning Belly Dance. 7pm-8pm. $10. Every Wed Intermediate Belly Dance. 7pm-8pm. $10. 532 W. First St., #204, Claremont Packing House, www.loft204.com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every Thurs Salsa and Cumbia Night. 9pm-2am. Every Sun Soul Line Dancing. 5pm-7pm. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. MAVERICK SALOON. Every Fri Western Dance Lessons with LeeAnne. 6:45pm. 3841 Old Hamner, Norco, 951.734.6640; www. mavericksaloonnorco.com. MORONGO CASINO RESORT & SPA. Every Thurs-Sat CopyKatz Celebrity Revue. 8pm. Every Sun CopyKatz Celebrity Revue. 2pm. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www.morongocasinoresort.com. TEQUIHUA FOUNDATION. Every Thurs The Telling by Koyote the Blind. 7:30pm. 3485 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.3471; www.tequihuafoundation.org. TOM’S FARMS. Every Sat-Sun Anthony the Magic. 12pm & 2pm. 23900 Temescal Canyon Rd., Corona, 951.277.4422; www. tomsfarms.com. WATER WHEEL SALOON. Every Thurs Line Dancing Lessons. 7pm. 980 6th St., Norco, (951) 898-4630; www.waterwheelnorco. com.

COMEDY FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB. Thurs, Sept. 5 Standing Room Only Comedy Night. 8pm. Fri-Sat Tim Lee. Fri, 8pm &10pm. Sat, 7pm & 9:30pm. Every Sat Comedy Traffic School. 8:30am. Every Sun Al Miller Presents. 7pm. Silly Sundays Open Mic. Wed Thomas Dale. 8pm. $10. 532 W 1st St., Unit 218, Claremont, 818.845.9721; www.flapperscomedy.com. LIAM’S IRISH PUB. Every Tues Comedy Show hosted by Rick Rome & Just Mikey. 9:30pm. 1087 S. Mount Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900; www.myspace.com/ liamscomedynight. The Menagerie. Every 1st & 3rd Sun The New Legends of Comedy. 8pm. 3581 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.8000; www. myspace.com/club_menagerie. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Every Sun Everybody Laffs Comedy Night. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www.missiontobaccolounge.com. ONTARIO IMPROV. Thurs, Sept. 12 Bruce Jingles. 8pm. Comedyjuice with Francisco Ramos. 10pm. Fri-Sun Paul Rodriguez. Fri, 8pm & 10pm. Sat, 7pm &9pm. Sun. 7pm. Tues Mike Cano’s Comedy Party with

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

Jamie Kennedy. 8pm. Wed The Dirty Show with Cory & Chad. 8pm. 4555 Mills Cir., Ontario, 909.484.5411; ontario.improv.com. PECHANGA RESORT AND CASINO. Fri-Sat DJ Cooch. Fri, 7:30pm & 9:30pm. Sat, 7:30pm & 9:30pm. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.693.1819; www.pechanga.com/ comedyclub. ROMANO’S. Every Thurs Free comedy. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Riverside, 951.781.7662; www.theconcertlounge.com.

SPORTS BELLATOR MMA CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT. Fri, Sept. 13 The light heavyweight tournament round will not disappoint anyone looking for some serious MMA action—Patricio Pitbull vs. Diego Nunes will prove to be a serious fight the crowd will enjoy. 3:30pm. Pechanga Resort and Casino, 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.693.1819; www.pechanga. com.

POETRY & READINGS BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Fourth Thurs Floasis. 8pm-11pm. $3. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Wed Children’s story time. 11am. 5183 Montclair Plaza Ln., Montclair, 909.399.1966. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Children’s preschool story time. 11am. 11090 E. Foothill Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.980.5586. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Children’s story time. 7pm. 2470 Tuscany St. #101, Corona, 951.735.0038. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Book Group. 7pm. Every Mon Children’s preschool story time. 10am. 3485 Tyler St., Riverside, 951.358.0899. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Sat Saturday Storytime. 11am. Every Tues Pre-school story time. 10am. 27460 Lugonia Ave., Redlands, 909.793.4322. BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Mon R.U.P.O. poetry in the basement. 9pm. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www.back2thegrind.com. CLAREMONT FORUM. Mon-Fri Package and prepare books for prisoners in the Prison Library Project. 10am-5pm. Every 2nd Tues Inland Valley Storytellers. Bring an 8-10 minute story to share or just listen. This gathering is for beginners and experienced storytellers alike. 7:30pm. Free (donations accepted). Every Mon Writer’s Workshop. Writing critiques. 6:30pm. 586 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.626.3066; www.claremontforum.org or www. inlandstorytellers.org. CLAREMONT PUBLIC LIBRARY. Every Fri & Sat Preschool storytime. 11:30am. Every Wed Toddler story time. 10am. 208 N. Harvard Ave., Claremont, 909.621.4902; www.colapublib.org/libs/claremont. HOWARD M. ROWE BRANCH LIBRARY. Every Thurs Storytime. 10:30am. 108 E. Marshall Blvd., San Bernardino, 909.883.3411. LIONLIKE MINDSTATE MOSAIC. Every 1st & 3rd Wed Open Mic. 9pm. $4. 5540 Schaefer Ave., Chino; www.lionlikemindstate.com. PLUM HOUSE COFFEE CLUB. Every Wed, Fri & Sat Art Walk & Open Mic. 7pm-11pm. 3882 12th St., Riverside, 951.784.1369; www. myspace.com/theplumhouse. RIVERSIDE PUBLIC LIBRARY. Every Mon Story time. 10:30am. Every Tues Toddler’s story time. 11:15am. Preschool story time. 10:30am. Every Wed Family story time. 10:30am. Story times, tales and tunes. 3:30pm. 3581 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.826.5201; www.rivlib.net. SAN BERNARDINO PUBLIC LIBRARY. Every Tues & Thurs Pre-school story time. 10:30am. Feldheym Central Library, 555 W. 6th St.,

San Bernardino, 909.381.8201; www.sbpl. org.

GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

57 UNDERGROUND. Spiritual Journeys. While everyone’s personal journey through life is based on different beliefs and ideologies, spirituality in general plays an important role through it all. Thru Oct. 26. 300-C S. Thomas St., 909.397.0218; www.57underground.com. AGUA CALIENTE CULTURAL MUSEUM. Where are the Tipis? The Changing Perceptions about Indians. We can blame misinformation on a lot of stereotypes and other assumptions about different cultures but here those will be debunked. Learn the truth about many things from people who know Native Americans best; themselves! Thru Oct. 20, 2013. 219 S. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.778.1079; www. accmuseum.org. AMERICAN MUSEUM OF CERAMIC ART (AMOCA). 2013 Ceramic Biennial. Oh you know, the best ceramic exhibition featuring community members—ever! Thru Sep. 29. 399 N. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.865.3146; www.ceramicmuseum.org. ARTISTS ON “A” STREET. No, it’s not artists on just a street, but a group of terrific visual talents displaying their wonderful creations for all to see in gorgeous downtown Upland. Sponsored by Cooper Regional History Museum, Cigar Exchange/ Pacific Wine Merchants and Boomers Coffeehouse. Every last Sat, 11am-4pm. 2nd Ave. & A St., Upland. Info: 909.946.6782, 909.985.8685. ART WORKS GALLERY. This gallery is the goto spot for expanding your artistic horizons. Every week classes are offered, varying from watercolor, wire sculptures, fused glass frames and many more outlets of artistry. Classes occur weekly. 3741 6th St., Riverside, 951.683.1279; www.jtpfriends.org/ blog/art-works-gallery. BACK TO THE GRIND. T.A.P. Into the Artist. Once a month, Back to the Grind gives tattoo artists a place to show off all sorts of art, whether it’s art-on-skin, sculptures or paintings. Sure there are plenty of galleries but these artists banded together to create a space where they can present their personal artistic endeavors. Every First Thurs. 6pm-1am. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www. back2thegrind.com. BRANDSTATER GALLERY. American Bond. This exhibit of photography consists of digitally scanned poloroids in pigment print. Thru Sept. 30. Susan Mikula – George Lawson Gallery Collection. Thru Oct. 30. 4500 Riverwalk Pkwy., Riverside 800.874.5587; lasierra.edu. CABOT’S PUEBLO MUSEUM. Come and learn about the story of Cabot Yerxa and his massive hand-built pueblo (on which he spent nearly a quarter-century building) at this museum, which is also home to a 43foot tall Indian monument, carved out of a Sequoia Redwood that’s over 700 years old, better known as “Waokiye.” (It’s just one of 60 such sculptures in a series.) Open Tues-Sun, 9am-1pm. 616 E. Desert View Ave., Desert Hot Springs, 760.329.7610; www. cabotsmuseum.org. THE CENTER FOR WATER EDUCATION. A world-class museum and learning institution which depicts the past, present and future story of water, from its importance in SoCal, to its impact worldwide. 2325 Searl Pkwy., Hemet, 951.791.0990. THE COLONY AT LOFT 204. The Human Conditions—Remainders. The paintings of this exquisite artist hold a lot of inspiration by her early life, born and raised in a cave in Instanbul. Through loss, pain and anguish, her art tells stories of how she overcame it all. Thru Sept. 28. 532 W. First

St., Unit 204, Claremont; loft204.com. CORONA ART ASSOCIATION. Every two months you can check out this art scene. See what the locals are up to! Thru Aug. 522 Corona Mall, Corona, 951.735.3226; www.coronaartassociation.org. CULVER CENTER OF THE ARTS. Jackrabbit Homestead. In 1938, the Small Tract Act made federal land available in the Morongo Basin, allowing a number of individuals to move there and live in the desert. Many of these houses still stand, although in derelict abandonment. Kim Stringfellow has put together a number of images exploring these buildings in detail. Thru Sep. 28. Patrick Quan: Accidents and Failures. A zen garden of aluminum objects speaks of Patrick Quan’s overall aura. His sculptures, photographs and paintings all work with the area to convey his message. Thru Sept. 28. 3834 Main St., Riverside, 951.827.3755; www.culvercenter.ucr.edu. FERGUSON FINE ARTS AND DESIGN. A plethora of pictures, paintings and posters specializing in pin-up pieces. Be sure to check out the 2nd Sat Art Walk, 3pm-10pm. 181 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.620.7488; www.ffadgallery.com. FIRST STREET GALLERY. Staff Selects. This mix of staff and client artistic pieces is one to behold, featuring a variety of inspiration in the form of “faux food, domestic detritus and vacillating vessels.” Thru Sep. 22. 250 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.626.5455; www.1ststreetgallery.org. GALLERY SOHO. Once in a Blue Moon. Local artists bring together multimedia of art that fits within the category of “Once in a Blue Moon.” Come see the different interpretations of this broad topic. 300 A So. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.469.1599; www.pvaa.net. THE MISSION INN MUSEUM. A Community’s Love Affair with a Mountain. Riverside is full of history, don’t miss out on your chance to explore the little-known historical facts behind Mount Rubidoux with expert and guest curator Glenn Wenzel. Thru Oct. 20. 3696 Main St., Riverside, 951.788.9556; www.missioninnmuseum.com. MUSEUM OF HISTORY AND ART, ONTARIO. Guasti Mural Exhibition. Four murals, originally taken from the Guasti mansion can now be found in the museum’s Carlson Gallery. Here you can learn all about the history of Guasti and Norman Kennedy. Ongoing. Road Ways. Road signs haven’t really changed much; red signs mean stop and yellow means yield. But the open road holds many memories for all sorts of roadies. Here you can appreciate the signs that transport you to a different decade, and with it take a “trip” through local highway signs and beyond. Ongoing. 225 S. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.3198; www.ci.ontario.ca.us/index.cfm/1605. PALM SPRINGS ART MUSEUM. Made in the USA—from the Abstract Expressionists to the Color-field Painters. From the depths of the museum’s permanent collection comes two sets of pieces. Together the two juxtapose one another between the style of abstract expressionists and color-field painting. Thru Sep. 29. Insights on Architecture. Check out the exhibit inspired by famed student of architecture and industrial strength, Ezrar Stoller, whose photography of modern architecture is on display. Thru Oct. 6. Across Dimensions: Graphics and Sculpture from the Permanent Collection. Thru Oct. 27. Ancient & Modern: Selections from the Permanent Collection. Turning to the past to get inspiration for the future of their artistic heritage—that’s what artists Gunther Gerzo, Rufino Tamayo and Carlos Merida have done, merging the concepts of their lineage with a decidedly modern bend. Ongoing. 101 Museum Dr., Palm Springs, 760.322.4800; www.psmuseum.org. PEGGY PHELPS & EAST GALLERY. ReMODEL 2: Expanding the Dialog Exhibition. The Claremont Graduate University Art Department will have the ReMODEL 2 exhibit on display, as well as a symposium

at the Garrison Theater. Check out how higher education has positively impacted the creative minds of these contributors. Thru Oct. 25. 251 East Tenth St., Claremont, 909.607.9292; www.cgu.edu. POMONA COLLEGE MUSEUM OF ART. Krysten Cunningham: Ret, Scutch and Heckle. This artist encourages the viewer to keep an open mind about physical realities with her diverse sculptures and drawings. Thru Sept. 29. Hirokazu Kosaka: On the Verandah Selected Works 1969-1974. The rare artwork and films by Hirokazu Kosaka demonstrate the innovative risks and experiments the artist was willing to take to create artistic brilliance that radiated his Buddhist background. Thru Oct. 20. 330 N College Ave., Claremont, 909.621.8283; www.pomona.edu/museum. RIVERSIDE ART MUSEUM. The 2013 Members’ Exhibition: The Persistence of Memory. Viewers craving a show with variety will be properly satiated with this exhibit! All sorts of media, subject matter and styles will be utilized in this annual celebration of member art. Thru Sep. 19. Exit/Entry. Did you know that Riverside has a German sister-city? The city of Erlangen has agreed to have an art swap, of sorts. This exhibit will feature the work of German artist Elke Zauner and her exhibit “EXIT/ ENTRY.” While you’ll be busy checking out German paintings, our local artists Jeff Soto and Maxx Gramajo are preparing to release their own exhibit in Germany later this fall. Thru Sep. 22. Pure Imagination. From Dr. Seuss to the countless of other creative tales from decades ago, here you’ll find a plethora of imaginative references to the stories we know—and even those we don’t. Thru Sep. 25. 3425 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7111; www.riversideartmuseum.org. RUTH CHANDLER WILLIAMSON GALLERY AT SCRIPP COLLEGE. Chasing Daylight: Phillip Latimer Dike, 1927-1937. Phillip Latimer Dyke, a former Scripps College Professor, shared his travels through Europe and the United States by capturing light and color in the California Style of watercolor painting. Thru Oct 13. 251 E 11th St., Claremont, 909.607.4690; rcwg. scrippscollege.edu. RIVERSIDE CITY HALL. Please contact Buna Dorr for appointment. Mayor’s Ceremonial Room Exhibit. A bimonthly rotating art exhibit featuring two-dimensional works by Riverside County artists. Call for schedule. 3900 Main St., Riverside, 951.680.1345; www.inlandarts.com. RIVERSIDE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM. John Muir and the Personal Experience of Nature. John Muir was a wilderness guy. Like a classic example of a frontiersman in America as expansionism had run its course, Muir grew to document and love the natural wildlife of various United States areas. The gallery focuses on special pieces from a traveling exhibit “Nature’s Beloved Son: Rediscovering John Muir’s Botanical Legacy” from various renowned sources. Thru Jan. 19, 2014. Telling Riverside’s Story in 50 Objects. With Riverside’s extensive history there’s bound to be something unique to learn. For a single night, view 50 different objects that represent or document Riverside’s past, from mammoth molars to stage coach foot warmers. Thru January 4, 2015. Riverside Metropolitan Museum, 3580 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside. Arts Walk. Held the 1st Thurs of every month. Tour the museum’s current exhibitions and view the performers. Each month is different. Walking Tours of Historic Downtown Riverside. Join the RMM for a docentlead tour of historic downtown. Every Sat, 2pm. $5; children 12 and under, free. Call for reservations. 3580 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.826.5273; www.riversideca. gov/museum. SAM AND ALFREDA MALOOF FOUNDATION FOR ARTS AND CRAFTS. In Words and Wood. Curator Jason T. Butsch, Carnegie Museum of Art. This exhibition features the

works of Bob Stocksdale and Ed Moulthrop. It’s a collection of woodturnings inspired by the curator and including the renown of gallery owner Sam Maloof, this grouping of amazing wooden pieces tells a story of the woodturning field. Every Thurs and Sat. 1, 2 and 3pm. Plein Air Painting in the Garden. Take a relaxing day off and watch talented artists set up shop in the Maloof Foundation garden where they will paint the gorgeous subject matter in its natural area. Every Thurs and Sat. 12pm-4pm. Maloof Foundation for the Arts and Crafts, 5131 Carnelian St., Alta Loma, 909.980.0412; www.malooffoundation.org. SWEENEY ART GALLERY. Essential. Riverside has a thick history that’s occurred during the past century or so but the Sweeney Art Gallery wants to celebrate its own personal achievement of serving the city for 50 artistic years. Here you’ll discover (or rediscover) selected works from the gallery’s permanent collection. Thru Sep. 28. 3800 Main St., Riverside, 951.827.3755; www.sweeney.ucr.edu UCR/California Museum of Photography. Geographies of Detention: From Guantanamo to the Golden Gulag. This exhibit aims to be one with massive variety and potential. Fromm pieces of art to films and a unique “memory project” its focus lies upon the various historical prisons, especially those in California. Thru Sept. 27. Women Are Beautiful. Check out Garry Winogrand’s lovely exhibit. Thru Oct. 26. Zoe Crosher: The Further Disbanding of Michelle duBois. This collaboration of works from duBois’ previous series will display the various photographs Zoe Crosher took of herself throughout the 1970s and ‘80s. Her self-obsession is absolutely fascinating. Thru Nov. 9. 3824 Main St., Riverside, 951.784.3686; www.cmp.ucr.edu. WALLY PARKS NHRA MOTORSPORTS MUSEUM. Mooneyes. Car fans no doubt know about the history of classic cars

and the people who engineered them. The NHRA is recognizing the great accomplishments and influence that Dean Moon has had on the automotive industry from his humble beginnings with dragsters to the use of his own shop to make the very first Shelby Cobra. A few of the famous Mooneye race cars will be available on display to showcase his ingenuity and unique insight to what a car should look like. Thru Jan. Presented by the Automobile Club of Southern California, the NHRA Museum celebrates the impact of motorsports on our culture. They collect, preserve, exhibit and interpret vehicles, auto-related stories and artifacts that represent our affection for, and the influence of, automotive speed and style in all its forms. Learn about hot rods, customs, racecars and speed records, as well as the West Coast’s role as the historic center for these cars’ past and present development. Prolong Twilight Cruise Night. Come and check out hundreds of classic hot rods, customs, and muscle cars as the Cruise Night brings out some of the finest street machinery in the area. In addition to these hot wheels, there’s a raffle, food (for purchase), museum exhibits and best of all, admission is free. Every First Wed, 4pm-8pm. Fairplex, 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Fairplex Gate 1, Pomona, 909.622.2133; www.museum.nhra.com. WIGNALL MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART. Occupy the Museum. Encourages innovation and critical thinking, this small exhibit features one work of art per each occupying group, allowing you to thoroughly study and discover the power of observation.Thru Sept. 21. 5885 Haven Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.652.6493; www.chaffey.edu/wignall. THE WIRE. Check out the local art exhibit every Thurs from 7pm-9pm. 247 N. 2nd Ave., Upland; www.thewire247.co

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar

By Eric Frances

Aries (March 20-April 19) If you find yourself meeting the resistance of a partner, I suggest you explore your options rather than fight. You may feel ready to take on whatever issue directly, though it’s unlikely to get you the results that you want. One result might be the freedom to express your passion, curiosity and creativity without the interference of someone else. You may be feeling like a certain agreement or commitment has reached the point where it’s no longer useful. That may be true, and you may also be able to get yourself over the hump and continue on. If more than three times, you might consider that there’s more to life than frustration, and why you need anyone in the role of restrictor, enforcer or defender of the faith—yourself included. Taurus (April 19-May 20) Be conscious of a tendency to divide your personality to deal with feelings that are too intense to be comfortable. This is sometimes described as compartmentalization; sometimes it’s known as denial. The polar opposite tendency might be some form of confrontation, whether with yourself or someone else. What will make it easier to do so is the idea that you can compromise on anything except how you feel. You can adapt your life patterns, your actions and to some extent, what you say. If you are direct with yourself about your anger, passion, rage or restlessness, you will be less likely to project the cause onto someone else and more likely to use your ability to choose. Gemini (May 20-June 21) If you end up in the role of diplomat or mediator, you may be taking on more than you can handle, or at least more than you’re expecting. That said, you’re likely to take this role, if only because it feels natural and you’re up for a challenge. What appears to be a lack of balance is actually the result of some factor pushing the situation out of balance intentionally. Whomever or whatever this may be, it’s the one element of the equation that’s non-negotiable. I suggest therefore that you not try to negotiate with a typhoon, or try to become one to get a result. Proceed in a way that works for you and that also serves the greater good—not in your opinion but in a documentable way. Vast forces are in motion all around you; please respect them. Cancer (June 21-July 22) The way to move stuck sexual energy is to focus on feeling good about yourself. Act in the world with courage and determination, and stand up for your most deeply held values in the situations where they matter. If there’s a situation involving what feels like an erotic blockage of some kind—a lack of dates, a stall-out in bed with your current partner or a lack of drive or desire—I would propose that it’s not what it seems. You may be taking way too much personal responsibility for what someone else is directing at you. You may be uncomfortable about how you would be perceived if you were freer with yourself and your desires— and this might not be merely a figment of your imagination. I would remind you that if it’s liberation you seek, seek liberation within yourself first, and then share it. Leo (July 22-Aug. 23) You may be encountering the intractability of another person on an important matter, probably a domestic situation. Now is not the time to push the issue. By now, I mean over the next few days, tempting though it may be. This situation looks like a playback of family material, so the person who seems to be involved may be a sock puppet rather than an actual cause. I suggest that before confronting anyone or making a decision you cannot reverse, investigate the ways in which the matter is a projection of your inner reality. Once you do that, and you’re fairly certain you’re not projecting, it will be far easier to address your concerns in a friendly, productive way—though I would suggest not before the middle of next week. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) You may be feeling extremely edgy, as if someone is following you with binoculars, or like everyone knows your secret fears. What I suggest you guard against, meanwhile, is allowing others to dictate the terms of your relationship with yourself. This could happen over the next week or so as you find yourself moving through a series of challenging circumstances with colleagues or associates. If you find yourself in a disagreement with anyone, probe that as a possible source of the friction. You would be wise to associate with people who not only care about the world but who are actually doing something about it. Values are like talents—they are merely potentials until we put them to good use. Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23) It’s time to share with others how you really feel, rather than entertaining them with pretenses of any kind. Appearances can be important; we are now in a get-real moment. You may be concerned about how others who are more blunt than you are will react; what I suggest

you pay attention to is your response to whatever they may be saying or doing. You face an ongoing challenge to speak up for yourself, accentuated by how powerful you perceive others as being. Yet their power is mediated by how you perceive them, your style of communication and more significantly, how you relate to yourself. If you’re intimidated, people will seem powerful in ways that are disproportionate to reality. If you pluck up some courage and have a conversation about what really matters, they will seem more like your equal. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) You have nothing to live up to except your own passion and drive to move forward. If you forsake that in service of an easy life, you may feel tossed around by forces outside your control. This is a moment to take authority over your life. You may be aware that once you do, that will have a cascade effect and you will need to make many decisions that you’ve put off, potentially for years. That alone might be enough to get you to decide that you’ll wait for the next opportunity to come along; you’ve had many and you may be assuming that many more are coming. You may be hesitant to act on what you perceive as irritation, negativity or conflict, but you might ask what else would get you to make a decision. And you would probably get an answer that fits the current scenario, if you look at it honestly. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22) Make sure you’re playing a supporting role in the lives of the people around you. By supportive I mean something other than competitive; preferably collaborative. That would call on you to let go of what may be considerable anxiety, which seems to flare up every time you want to do something that taps into your determination and creative vision. Listen to the fear and don’t let it stop you. Listen and don’t put others into the role of rival. You may have the feeling that you and everything and everyone around you are balanced on a hair-trigger, and that if you say or do anything meaningful there will be an earthquake. You’ll have to be willing to test that theory to claim some emotional space, though a good start is reminding yourself, every time you feel a burst of anxiety or uncertainty, that you can act in modest ways to hold the world together—and you’ll feel better for doing so. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) You may fear that the conversation will veer in the direction of sensitive issues or extremely private subject matter, and if that’s true then it’s exactly where I suggest you allow things to go. You want depth and many factors in your life are offering the opportunity to go there. I suggest you be mindful of how much you may fear your secrets getting out into the public. Indeed it may be your worst fear, but if you allow that to run your private life then you’re living like an emotional hostage. People care a lot less about your secrets than you may think. Everyone has plenty else on their mind; what you’re experiencing is the fear of an illusion. That said, there is a lot of relief to be gained when you stop caring about the views of others on your most private matters, or perhaps more to the point, when you decide you simply must be known for who you are. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) You may feel out of your element, or like a certain relationship situation is pushing you beyond your limits. Yet in a strange way you also might feel entirely comfortable with where you are. You’re moving through the emotions and demands of your situation more gracefully than you may reckon, and in many ways it’s bringing out the best in you. Still, I am sure you would appreciate some relief from the constant pressure, particularly where the necessities of a personal situation intersect with those of a professional one. Yet your astrology as it’s currently structured is suggesting that the opposite is true. As you toggle back and forth between commitments, you will gradually design your life in a way that integrates both and excludes neither. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) You would be surprised the extent to which you’re living under an externally imposed belief system of some kind. It could be something installed by your parents, by teachers or by religion; it could go back much further than that, including being legacy material from institutions who have held down humanity for a long time. If you know this, you stand a decent chance of getting free from whatever this is. The way to do that is not to dissect or dismantle it but rather to make contact with what you value, and in particular, how radical it is in contrast to much of what you see, feel and hear going on around you. Trust that even if you don’t have an influence on some of the stuffy people around you (which you do) that your determination to live your own truth is attracting people who appreciate you and whose company you will enjoy.

Read Eric Francis daily at: www.PlanetWaves.net

IEWEEKLY.com | SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013

COMMUNITY ANNOUNCEMENTS BIG BEAR OKTOBERFEST. Why wait to start the celebration? Oktoberfest is happening every weekend in Big Bear Lake. Check out the live entertainment each night at the Spaten Bier Garten. Sat, Sept. 14, 15, 21, 22, 28, 29, Oct. 4, 5, 6, 11, 12, 13, 18, 19, 20, 26. The Convention Center of Big Bear Lake,42900 Big Bear Blvd., Big Bear, 909.585.3000; www.bigbearevents.com. BOW WOW BRUNCH. Your pooch can spend Sunday Funday enjoying a healthy human-grade food brunch alongside you at this friendly cafe. Every Sat & Sun. Oscar’s Cafe & Bar, 125 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way, #108, Palm Springs, 760.325.1188; oscarspalmsprings.com. DOGGIE-POOL-OOZA. The temperature keeps rising, and there’s no better way to cool down your pup than taking them to the 4th Annual Doggie Pool-ooza event hosted by the V.C.A Animal Hospital and San Bernardino County Parks. Sat, Sept. 14. Cucamonga-Guasti Regional Park, 800 N. Archibald Ave., Ontario, 909.387.2461; www.sbcounty.gov/parks. EMPOWERMENT LUNCHEON. Planned Parenthood is hosting this event entitled “Health Care Reform and Its Impact on Women of Color” with featured speaker Lorettas Ross—an expert on human rights, women’s health issues and reproductive rights. Thurs, Sept. 12. Hilton Hotel San Bernardino, 285 E. Hospitality Lane, San Bernardino; empowermentluncheon.org. FALL BRIDAL OPEN HOUSE. If you’re looking to hammer out all the details for your special day, be sure to stop by the Fall Bridal Open House at the Mission Inn Hotel & Spa. There will be champagne, hor d’oeuvres, vendors, raffles and a chance to check out the scenic hotel chapel and outdoor courtyard. Sun, Sept. 15. Mission Inn Hotel & Spa, 3649 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0300; www.missioninn. com. INTERNATIONAL FAMILY WEEK. The city of Banning is kicking off their 100th birthday with an event that celebrates its diverse international communities. All groups will be paid tribute to through music, dance, art and food at this exciting event. Sat, Sept 14-21. Various locations throughout Banning. For more info: 951.845.7219; www. banning100birthday.com. RAMIREZ INTERMEDIATEFOOD TRUCK FESTIVAL AND VENDOR FAIR. Enjoy over 20 different food trucks serving everything tasty from fresh sushi to hot wing. With music, games and more, it’ll be fun for all ages. Fri, Sept. 14. Ramirez Intermediate School, 6905 Harrison Ave., Corona; 952.736.8241. THE TRIALS OF MUHAMMAD ALI. The world-known boxer endured some serious hardships with his successes in life, and this documentary will give you proper insight important crossroads he faced. From converting to Islam, to being banned from boxing after refusing to serve in Vietnam, Ali will always be a hero to many. Thurs, Sept. 12. Camelot Theatres, 2300 E. Baristo Rd., Palm Springs; www. camelottheatres.com. VINTAGE VILLAGE WINE WALK. Enjoy a stroll around the beautiful downtown village of Claremont while sipping on some fine wines, with live music in the background. Sat, Sept. 14. Claremont Village. Get tickets at Aromatique, 319-A W. First St., Claremont, 909.626.7422; www. thevillageclaremont.com. VIXEN OBSCURA BOOK RELEASE PARTY. Are you a fan of artistic erotic photography?

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This book release party will also have a DJ and a slideshow of her intimate pictures. Sat, Sept. 14. The Dark Room Gallery, 310 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.868.6518; pomonaartscolony.com.

LECTURES & POLITICS

CENTER FOR COMMUNITY ACTION AND ENVIRONMENTAL JUSTICE (CCAEJ). There are people who want change, and then there are people who make change happen. Disgusted and frustrated that Riverside County officials continue to place warehouses, rail-yards and other diesel sources next to homes and schools, and allow new homes to be built next to the same type of facilities, CCAEJ took action by placing a billboard along Highway 60 at the entrance to Riverside County. Check out the CCAEJ Website and educate yourself about the health conditions in your area. PO BOX 33124, Jurupa Valley, 951.360.8451 or admin@ccaej.org; www. ccaej.org. COMMISSION OF DISABILITIES. Every 2nd Mon Every group needs a committee; one that is dedicated to the well being of the group. In this case the Commission of Disabilities in Riverside is passionate in promoting awareness of both the group’s presence at Riverside City Hall as well as awareness of disabled people everywhere. The following quote, “The mission of the Commission of Disabilities is- to promote greater awareness of, respect for and total participation of individuals into all aspects of life” is the motto and goal of group’s support of disabled people in the Riverside community. It’s placement in the Riverside County City Council allows them to keep a close eye on programs and policies in process especially concerning housing, employment and transportation. 6pm. Riverside City Hall, 5th Floor, 3900 Main St., Riverside, 951.826.5427; www.riversideca. gov/cod. DEMOCRATIC LUNCHEON CLUB. Every Fri The Democratic Luncheon Club was formed in the ’30s and was reorganized as a chartered Democratic Club in 1993. Their popular, hour-long luncheons are a forum for progressive ideas and feature distinguished speakers such as U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer. These members have fire in their bellies—in 2002 they got off their duffs and personally registered more than 240 Democrats. Politics and food go together so well. 12pm. Democratic Headquarters, 136 Carousel Mall (lower level, near the central glass elevator), San Bernardino, 909.882.5819 or mrkalvarez@aol.com; www.sbdems.com. DEMOCRATS OF GREATER RIVERSIDE. We didn’t believe it either—Riverside and Democrats? They always have something going on. Every 3rd Thurs General meeting, 7pm. Mexicali Grill, 1690 Spruce St., Riverside, 951.781.6682 or info@riversidedemocrats.org; www. riversidedemocrats.org. FOOD NOT BOMBS. Meets weekly at various locations. Protesting militarism and poverty by serving free vegetarian food to people in need, and in support of ongoing political organizing efforts. FNB believes that by giving away free food to people in need in public spaces, they directly dramatize the level of hunger in this country and the surplus of food being wasted. They also call attention to the failure of society to support those within it—choosing instead to fund the forces of war and violence. They are

committed to the use of nonviolent direct action to change society. Thousands of meals are served each week by FNB groups in North America and Europe. Info: foodnotbombs909@yahoo.com; www. foodnotbombs.net. FRIDAY MORNING CLUB. Every Fri Come and listen to speakers, discuss Riverside Council Agenda items and other areas of concern to the city’s residents. Free and open to the public, with free parking, too. 10am. Janet Goeske Senior/ Disabled Center, 5257 Sierra St., Riverside, 951.351.8800; fridaymorningclub@yahoo. com; www.janetgoeskecenter.com. INLAND COUNTIES STONEWALL DEMOCRATS. Chartered Democratic club working within the Democratic Party to represent the LGBT—Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender—members of the community and their friends and supporters. They are proud members of the National Stonewall Democrats, who have the motto, “Pride in Our County; Pride in Our Party; Pride in Our Families.” PO BOX 9642, Redlands, 909.556.6818. INLAND EMPIRE DEBATING SOCIETY. “Debate is the heart of liberty.” So reads the I.E. Debating Society’s website. This nonprofit, non-partisan organization was developed in order to provide the citizens of the IE with accurate, thoroughly researched debates on all issues of the day, in order to stimulate more voter participation and—imagine this!—a more enlightened electorate. Members represent all sectors of life, including high school and college students, teachers, professors, lawyers, business folk, parents and retirees. Info: 909.887.4894, 909.825.7800; www.inlanddebates.com. INLAND EMPIRE FREETHINKERS. Every 1st Wed Come join Atheists United and the Center for Inquiry-West for some refreshing discussions. 7pm-9pm. Unitarian Church, 3657 Lemon St., Riverside; www.cfiwest.org/ groups/inland.htm. INLAND EMPIRE LATINO LAWYERS ASSOCIATION. Legal clinic hours: Wed, 1pm-3:30pm. Clients also seen at—Lawrence Hutton Center, 660 Colton Ave., Colton, Mon, 1pm-3pm; DeAnza Community Center, 1405 S. Fern Ave., Ontario. 2nd Thurs of every month Needy folks can get counsel/advice on family law, landlord/ tenant disputes, civil disputes (such as car accidents) and collections. These volunteer attorneys are like argument angels. For more than 20 years, IELLA’s mission, with the help of the United Way, has been to provide free legal services for the poor and underprivileged because too many people could not afford to hire an attorney, were not able to speak English, or could not read or write. Help them help you by calling or going to the website to schedule an appointment and to see what you need to bring with you for your meeting. 1pm-3:30pm. Administrative Office, Cesar Chavez Community Center, 2060 University Ave. #113, Riverside, 951.369.3009 or iellaaid@aol.com; www.iellaaid.org. INLAND EMPIRE MINORITY-LED RESOURCE DEVELOPMENT COALITION. Every 2nd Fri This coalition includes nonprofits, political and governmental agencies, business owners and individuals, who are all aiming to impart change in their communities. The coalition hosts monthly meetings and is open to any entity seeking to join, without a membership fee. Bring your fliers and information to share. 10:30am. Meetings at the New Hope Family Life Center, 1505 West Highland Ave, San Bernardino 92411. JEFFERY OWENS COMMUNITY CENTER. The mission of the JOCC is to “provide education, support and advocacy regarding sexual orientation and gender identity.” The center offers a safe environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals in the Riverside and San Bernardino areas. 5198 Arlington Avenue #922, Riverside; www.jocc.org.

LEISURe ACTION ZIPLINE TOURS. Talk about building up your “wheeee!” factor: Touting themselves as the “first legal, permitted zipline tour company in Southern California,” Action sports nine ziplines, ranging from 120- to 820-feet long, a suspension bridge (with views of the Johnson Valley) and expertly guided tours. Whether you’re aiming for a nice, pleasant ride on a wire in the sky or the thrill-seeking, well, action that an open-air zipline can provide, Action’s likely got you covered—that is, if you’re at least 8 years of age and weigh at least 75 pounds. (And yes, they’ve got braking systems, just in case you need to hit pause for a moment.) Four tours daily. Action Zipline Tours, 41647 Big Bear Blvd., Big Bear, 909.866.0390; www. actionziplinetours.com. BEAUTY BUBBLE SALON & MUSEUM. Location is a private home so please call for an appointment and directions. Jeff Hafler, an L.A. hairdresser who gave up on Hollyweird, owns the homestead house/ salon and operates an awe-inspiring hair museum with treasures like a ‘70s mod Ken doll and an 1880s kerosene-heated curling iron. Get yourself a celebrity-worthy haircut in the desert or pay your $5 and check out some funky old-school beauty equipment. 5444 Moon Way, Wonder Valley, 760.835.9369; www.facebook.com/ BeautyBubbleSalonAndMuseum. BELLA VISTA WINERY. This winery claims it was the first Temecula vineyard (around since 1968). Now for a little history lesson, courtesy of the Bella Vista Website: The Temecula wine region began developing in the mid-‘60s when the Kaiser Land Development Company purchased what was known as Vail Ranch in 1964, and began investing in and marketing the Temecula Valley. Horticulturalists were brought in to evaluate the area, and, along with avocados, the experts determined that wine vineyards were well suited for the valley. The cool moist air from the coast would settle in the Temecula Appellation in the evening and would burn off the following morning, perfect for grape growing. First planted in 1968, five acres of the original Bella Vista acres are still producing adjacent to the winery, which was built in 1978. Unlike gym socks, when it comes to wine, older can be so much better. 41220 Calle Contento, Temecula, 951.676.5250; http:// bellavistawinery.com. BIG BEAR ALPINE ZOO. The Moonridge Animal Park arose from the ashes of forest fires in 1959 that devastated the natural ecosystem of the San Bernardino Mountains. Several injured animals were brought to safety for rehabilitation and a second chance at life in the wild. But for some, returning to the forest was not an option due to human imprinting or injuries that would compromise their survival. Enter the humane and dedicated folks at Moonridge, who created an Alpine zoo, where all the animals are native to our local mountains. Learn more about our furry, feathered and scaly friends through daily feeding tours, in the education center, or in the library. Say hi to the Grizzly! 43285 Goldmine Dr., Big Bear Lake, 909.878.4200; www.moonridgezoo. org. BIG BEAR DISCOVERY CENTER. Here it is: Your gateway to education and adventure in the San Bernardino Mountains. The center is an educational and informational portal set on helping you become a more responsible friend to the forest. You can pick up an adventure pass that gives you access to the local hiking and off-road trails, hiking and biking maps, camping info, or take a naturalist-led interpretive program (wild flower tour, canoe tour, offroad tour, any sort of mountainous tour

your heart desires!) or take in a concert under the stars. 40971 North Shore Dr., on Hwy. 38 one mile west of Stanfield Cutoff, Big Bear Lake, 909.866.3437; www. bigbeardiscoverycenter.com. CALICO EARLY MAN ARCHAEOLOGICAL SITE. Tours Thurs-Sun, 9:30am, 11:30am, 1:30pm, 3:30pm; Wed, 1:30pm & 3:30pm. Nearly 12,000 stone tools—used for scraping, cutting, and gouging—have been excavated here. The apparent age of some of these items (said to be as ancient as 200,000 years old) contradicts the dominant archaeological theory that humans populated North America only 13,000 years ago. Located 15 miles east of Barstow off I-15 in Yermo. From the Minneola Rd. exit, follow the signs north about two miles on graded dirt roads to the site. CALICO GHOST TOWN. Established in 1881, this ghost town is now California State Historic Landmark 782. It’s an authentic silver mining town that lives on as one of the few original mining camps of the Old West. Gunfight stunt shows have become a part of Calico’s everyday life, but the less adventuresome can pan for real gold, watch water roll uphill in Calico’s Mystery Shack or take a trip down into an actual mine where the air is thin, ceilings are low and evidence of labor-intensive rock chipping is everywhere. Located 10 miles north of Barstow off I-15. Exit Ghost Town Rd., 760.254.2122. CANYON CREST WINERY. This will be your new go-to place for a wide selection of wines and a few fun events to boot. Temecula may be the IE center of our “Wine Country” but heck, Riverside is much closer to home for many and you don’t sacrifice quality by staying local. Canyon Crest Towne Centre, 5225 Canyon Crest Drive, #7A, Riverside, 951.369.9463; www. canyoncrestwinery.com. CHERRY HILLS CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Year-round. Eat better and support your local farmers. Fri, 8am-1pm; Sun, 9am-1pm. 26834 Cherry Hills Blvd., Menifee; www. cafarmersmarkets.com. CHURON WINERY. This French-style chateau also offers the Inn at Churon Winery, a bed and breakfast perched on a hillside overlooking the vineyards. It’s the perfect solution if you plan on swallowing more than spitting. 33233 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.694.9070; www. churonwinery.com. CLAREMONT FARMERS & ARTISANS MARKET. Every Sun, 8am-1pm. Catch a lively walk through the Claremont Village each week surrounded by fresh vegetables, unique crafts and other greatness. Indian Hill and 2nd St., Claremont. DANZA DEL SOL WINERY. Previously owned by Bill Filsinger’s who was the first Southern California winery to grow and produce Gewurztraminer, a fantastic wine on the sweet side, in 2010 it was taken over by Robert Olson. Now the Winery is focused on wines with Mediterranean influence. 39050 De Portola Rd., Temecula, 951.302.6363; www. danzadelsolwinery.com. DESERT ART STUDIO. Open by appointment. Muralist and painter Chuck Caplinger’s “Oasis of Murals” is a studio and gallery exhibiting his semi-psychedelic portraits, paintings and murals of the Southwest, located in his giant dome home near the entrance to Joshua Tree National Park. He has a cool past. He started off as an illustrator for NASA in Houston, then moved to LA where he worked with Lonestar Pictures and painted celebrity portraits. The award-winning Texas-born artist’s paintings hang in numerous galleries and museums, and his murals color much of California—see his site for desert art near you. Twentynine Palms, 760.361.2305; www. desertartstudio.com. DRIVETECH RACING SCHOOL. Call for schedule of classes and prices. Learn how to drive a high-powered NASCAR

racecar in a controlled but demanding environment. The people of Drivetech want you to know this: More track time, more laps, more speed, more freedom on the track, passing encouraged, sideby-side driving, coaching by radio, warm up laps, and in-car video. But all you’ve gotta know from us is: “Days of Thunder.” California Speedway, 14611 Rancho Vista Dr., Fontana, 888.495.7223; www.drivetech. com. FALKNER WINERY. This award-winning winery believes “wine is truly the ‘spirit of the gods’ that embraces the essence of life itself and helps all of us not take things too seriously.” They also offer 10 different wines, group wine classes, a wine club, and wedding packages. Tasting room open 10am-5pm. Restaurant open 11:30am-3:30pm. 40620 Calle Contento, Temecula, 951.676.8231; www. falknerwinery.com.

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calendar FENDER CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS. For those with kids who are about to rock, we salute you. And we present you with this incredibly awesome experience— professional caliber performing arts education and instruction to children, ages 7-17, through the Kids Rock Free Educational Program. This program provides free and low cost musical instruction education including piano, guitar, bass guitar, vocal performance, drums and combo band. Intrigued? Bring your school or group for a tour, including an inter-active demonstration, access to the exhibits and the visual arts gallery, and an optional scavenger hunt. 365 N. Main St., Corona, 951.735.2440; www. fendercenter.com. FLYING BEAR ZIP LINES. “I believe I can fly,” once sangeth R. Kelly, but never did he sing about zip linin’ his friendly face across gorgeous canyon scenery and through the tops of trees in Big Bear. And that’s where Flying Bear kicks in, offering five zip lines and an aerial platform that’s perched almost a hundred feet high. Two tours are offered, the “Black Bear” which takes about an hour-and-a-half and puts your ass flying down three different zip lines. And then there’s “The Grizzly” that’ll suspend your noggin’ across a canyon down five lines in around three hours’ time. The tours are guided by trained pros and offer some amazing views, but they’re not for everyone, as you must be at least 75 pounds, but no more than 250. Also, pregnant people and those with medical conditions are asked to consult with a medical provider before embarking on such an adventure. Open year round,

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everyday. Prices start around $65. At the top of Mill Creek Rd., Big Bear Lake, 909.866.3260; www.flyingbearziplines.com. GALLEANO WINERY. Galleano winemaking spans five generations, remaining familyowned, and claims to be California’s largest producer of Cucamonga Valley wines. Cantu-Galleano Ranch complex is listed on the California and National Register of Historic Places. 4231 Wineville Rd., Mira Loma, 951.685.5376; www. galleanowinery.com. GLEN EDEN SUN CLUB. See website for prices. Glen Eden is known as Southern California’s premier nudist resort and RV park. Interested clothes-free parties might be happy to know that first-time visitors get in free (see their website for the coupon). Entertainment, dining and sports are all part of the offerings, including tennis, volleyball and swimming. 25999 Glen Eden Rd., Corona, 951.277.4650; www.gleneden. com. THE GLEN IVY CENTER. Seeking some alone time away from the every day buzz of standard city living? Here’s a retreat that’s offering a relaxed and spacious experience on sacred land with creeks, walking paths and organic orchards. Get away from the distractions! 25005 Glen Ivy Rd., Corona, 951.277.8701; www.glenivy. org. GRABER OLIVES. Tours available throughout the year. In the fall, visitors may view the many activities that center around the long and careful tradition of grading, curing and canning Graber olives. Can you think of a more romantic date? 315 E. 4th St., Ontario, 800.996.5483; www. graberolives.com.

HADLEY FRUIT ORCHARDS. Open since 1931, Hadley’s offers dried fruits, nuts, and dates—they are famous for their rich and delicious date shakes. What I find most intriguing, however, is that they claim to be the originators of trail mix. Whoudathunk?! 48980 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.854.5655; www.hadleyfruitorchards.com. HANGAR 18. So, you’re all about hangin’ tuff. Well, then, maybe you’re ready to pit yourself against the 10,000+ square feet of climbing at SoCal’s tallest climbing gym. Whether you’re a serious climber or just curious about trying it out for the first time, this gym is ideal for climbers of any age and ability level. Newly renovated with a massive party deck, additional bouldering space, gymnastic flooring, and two new killer crack climbs, Hangar 18 is the perfect location for birthday parties, school or church groups, scout troops, climbing camps, teambuilding events, or family outings. They also offer Kung Fu and Hatha Yoga classes for those whose life involves being a little more “grounded.” 256 E. Stowell St. #A, Upland, 909.931.5991; 6935 Arlington Ave., Riverside, 951.359.5040; www.climbhangar18.com. HIGH ADVENTURE. Open daily, year-round, weather permitting. Call for prices and to schedule classes. The Website says, “Often the question comes up... What is the difference between ‘hang gliding’ and ‘paragliding’?” High Adventure—a business run by husband-and-wife team Rob and Dianne McKenzie—offers USHPA certified, personalized instruction and service in both sports, out of Andy Jackson Airport. Go for both the tandem and the solo lessons for the complete experience. Best of all, they’ve won lots of safety awards. 4231 Sepulveda Ave., San Bernardino, 909.379.9095; www.flytandem. com. HIGH DESERT FARMERS MARKET. There’s not only a bounty of fresh vegetables, fruits, and flowers, but also fun items like doggie treats, raw honey, kettle corn, stuffed olives, and so much more. Parking is free. 18422 Bear Valley Rd., Victorville, 760.247.3769; www. highdesertfarmersmarket.com. HIGH DESERT TEST SITES. See the website for more info and a timeline of exhibits. The High Desert Test Sites are a series of experimental art sites located along a stretch of desert communities including Pioneertown, Yucca Valley, Joshua Tree, 29 Palms and Wonder Valley. These sites provide alternative space for experimental works by both emerging and established artists. Most projects are meant to belong to no one and are intended to melt back into the landscape as new ones emerge, basically giving each piece its own chance to sink or swim. The goal is also to create an artistic community on a zero budget. Go to the Website to learn more about the group’s mission. It’s like Burning Man without the fire or repressed Silicon Valley thirtysomethings. From L.A., take the 10 east; exit on Hwy 62 (29 Palms Hwy) and head east toward 29 Palms; the sites are located between Yucca Valley and Wonder Valley. Info: www. highdeserttestsites.com. INLAND PARAFLITE INC. Call for packages and prices. California’s only year-round, full-time powered-parachute training center. There is so much to choose from— intro flights; the First Flight course where you go solo in the Powerchute Pegasus; and the full UFI course, which brings you to the level required to be endorsed to fly a PPC solo and puts you on a straight and level course to attain your own UFI rating. It sounds foreign to us, but it’s probably the coolest thing in the world to those who speak the language. Located in Apple Valley. Info: 760.242.3359; www.paraplane. com. INTEGRATRON. Curious? Well, the Integratron is “an acoustically perfect tabernacle and energy machine sited

on a powerful geomagnetic vortex in the magical Mojave Desert.” Yeah. Basically, in the ’50s, George Van Tessel got abducted by aliens and then returned in order to build this dome based on the design of Moses’ Tabernacle, the writings of Nikola Tesla and telepathic directions from extraterrestrials. Yeah. It was originally meant to be a rejuvenation and time machine, but today it is the only all-wood, acoustically perfect sound chamber in the U.S. Check out the Website—tons of activities happen out there, such as concerts, sky watchers, spiritual meetings, school trips and so much more. But you definitely can’t miss the Sound Bath—a 30-minute sonic healing session. Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins gives it two thumbs up. Yeah. 2477 Belfield Blvd., Landers, 760.364.3126; www.integratron. com. JIM WALLACE SKYDIVING SCHOOL. Who in their right mind would want to jump from a perfectly good airplane at 13,000 feet? Chuck Norris, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves, and a whole lotta other people with a lot less money, that’s who. Gail Sims and Jim Wallace know what they’re doing—they do movie stunts, hold world records, and help pansies like us to fall through the air with confidence and ease. 2091 Goetz Rd., Perris, 800.795.3483; www. jimwallaceskydiving.com. JOSEPH FILIPPI WINERY & VINEYARDS. You must go to the Website and read the history of this place—it’s worthy of a Brian Grazer film, starring Tom Hanks. They also allow you to select custom labels when you purchase wine, and make a point of offering non-alcoholic beverages to your designated driver. Oh, and their yummy wine wins heaps of awards. 12467 Baseline Rd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.899.5755; www.josephfilippiwinery.com. JURUPA MOUNTAINS CULTURAL CENTER. A nonprofit Family-Oriented Learning Facility (or FOLF), featuring fun programs in archaeology, geology, paleontology and earth sciences. Their goal is to teach awareness and respect for the earth and its inhabitants through hands-on educational programs. They offer field trips, specialty classes, nature school classes and the Earth Science Museum, as well as the largest dinosaur egg collection in North America. 7621 Granite Hill Dr., Riverside, 951.685.5818; www.jmcc.us K1 SPEED ONTARIO. Who doesn’t love to drive their hearts out? Well, you can’t take tight turns and mash the throttle with glee when travelling on public roads (at least, we don’t advise you do that), but you can surely let ‘em rip once you’re behind the wheel at this top-notch indoor karting track. These high-performance electric karts run on two race tracks (which can be combined for special functions), featuring a high-grip asphalt surface, plus there’s enough space for birthday parties and meetings. Hook up with the Arrive and Drive package that allows folks to compete in a 14-lap race against friends or competitors for the fastest lap time. There’s even an adult racing league, just in case you’re looking to get serious about karting your non-minor heart out. Best of all, you won’t be seeing any flashing lights in your rear view mirror after flooring it. 5350 E. Ontario Mills Pkwy., Ontario, 909.980.0286; www.k1speed.com. THE KIMBERLY CREST HOUSE & GARDEN TOUR. Be sure to strap on your walking shoes if you opt for the daytime docentled tour of the Kimberly Crest House, Carriage House exhibit and Gift Shop (surprise), along with a guided tour through the gardens and grounds. There is a lot to be said for the rejuvenating nature of a little beauty. And nature. Enjoy the terraced Italian gardens, orange groves, Koi ponds and the picturesque chateau with a French revival parlor complete with gilt furniture and silk damask wall

coverings. The tour is approximately two hours. Visitors should expect to be on their feet for an extended period of time and have to navigate stairs as well as sloped lawns. Closed in Aug. Kimberly Crest House & Gardens, 1325 Prospect Dr., Redlands, 909.792.2111; www.kimberlycrest.org. LEMON CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. This 10,000 square foot museum celebrates Corona’s past history as the “Lemon Capital of the World” during the 1930-40s. It sits at the center of the former Corona Lemon Company, which, at 2,000 acres, was believed to have been the largest single lemon ranch in California. The park now utilizes 11 historic buildings, houses and packing sheds as a sort of artist’s colony. Artists-in-residence include sculptors, painters, muralists, life-drawers, glass blowers, weavers and woodworkers. You can watch them work or take classes yourself. An operating beneficial bug farm is also on site as well as a quaint farmer’s market. Before you leave, make sure to stop by the small gift shop featuring “everything lemon.” Corona Heritage Park & Museum, 510 W. Foothill Pkwy., Corona, 951.898.0687; www.coronaheritage.org. LEONESSE CELLARS. The word Leonesse, meaning “village of dreams,” is the inspiration behind this winery’s quest to create world-class wines from the Temecula Valley (not to be confused with Field of Dreams, which is about worldclass baseball players). They have won numerous awards, including one for “White Merlot,” which I have never heard of. Have yourself a taste when you pop in for a tour of the enchanting grounds or to take in one of their popular concerts. 38311 De Portola Rd., Temecula, 951.302.7601; www. leonessecellars.com. MAURICE CAR’RIE WINERY. This winery, centered around a large Victorian-style farmhouse nestled amidst rolling hills, was founded by Budd and Maurice C. Van Roekel in 1986. Today the winery is run by new owners Buddy and Cheri Linn. (Apparently you have to be named Bud to own this place.) The winery offers a pineapple-flavored champagne and a popular pinot noir, amongst other award-winning wines products. They also have a famous baked brie served in sourdough bread. 34225 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.676.1711; www. mauricecarriewinery.com. MOTOCROSS VACATION. SoCal is the Mecca of the motocross industry. If your bag is heart-pumping adrenaline rides organized on your choice of five of the world’s top tracks, then check out one of MXV’s full service vacations. All packages include everything you need to enjoy the thrill of motocross: bikes, fuel, entry fees, pit set-up with support from friendly and knowledgeable staff, food, drinks, transportation, tours, training and more. And best of all, at the end of the day, they load up, clean, and prep the bikes

for the next day of incredible riding. 31221 Saddleback Ln., Menifee, 909.772.8082; www.motocrossvacation.com. ORANGE EMPIRE RAILWAY MUSEUM. Wanna see big machinery? How’s about checking out a museum with a massive collection of railcars and locomotives? If this doesn’t tickle your high torque transportation fancy, then how’s about the fact that you, yes you, can actually get behind the wheel (well, there ain’t a wheel when we’re talking rails here, I suppose) of a locomotive and rent one for an hour! Access to the museum grounds is free, riding the trains costs $12 for adults and $8 children 5-11. Free for children under 5. Actually being able to operate a locomotive: $190 an hour. All aboard! 2201 S. A St., Perris, 951.657.2605 or 951.943.3020; www.oerm.org. PERRIS VALLEY SKYDIVING. Perris Valley Skydiving, the largest skydiving center in North America, offers so many ways for you to fall out of the sky, I can’t even begin to tell you. Spectators are welcome to recline on the grassy lawn and watch the parachutes play against the blue sky. But everyone can enjoy the 3,600 sq. ft. Bombshelter Bar and Grill, which contains a comprehensive collection of skydiving memorabilia, as well as num-nums. 2091 Goetz Rd., Perris, 800.832.8818; www. skydiveperris.com. PIONEERTOWN. Pioneertown was built in 1946 as a movie set for western movies. Productions shot at the site included Range Rider, Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill Jr., The Gene Autry Show and Cisco Kid. Check out Pappy & Harriet’s (for drinkin’ ‘n’ rockin’), Pioneer Bowl (bowlin’ ‘n’ eatin’), Pioneertown Motel (sleep where the stars slept), Historic Hayden Ranch (to really feel like a movie cowboy), and Rimrock Ranch Cabins (“The High Desert Getaway for Stressed-out City Dwellers”). If you’re there in the summer, weekends offer an Old West re-enactment. We have the feeling someone will be pushing up daisies. And since you’re there, be sure to stop into Pappy & Harriet’s for beers and blues, rock, alt-country and more. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown; www.pioneertown.com. website doesn’t work PONTE WINERY. The Ponte family purchased this lush property over 20 years ago, but at first they sold their grapes to other wineries. They now proudly offer a full array of wines under their own label. Their new winemaker, Robert Cartwright, is a hands-on kind of guy available to answer your wine questions in the tasting room every Fri, 3pm-4pm. Cartwright’s education includes chemistry, environmental science and enology (the study of wine and the making of wine). Who knew there was so much science behind it? 35053 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.694.8855; www.pontewinery.com. RANCHO SANTA ANA BOTANICAL GARDENS. California’s got an immensely

SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar diverse cross section of vegetation and plant life, and perhaps nowhere is that collection better represented than at the Rancho Santa Ana Botanical Garden. Situated near the heart of the Claremont Village and the prestigious colleges, this garden sports over 80 acres, featuring an incredible array of flowers, trees and brush, all with the backdrop of a majestic mountain range. Take a brisk walk and get your cardiovascular workout going, or just make it a slow stroll through the pathways that wind their way through the grounds. Admission is free, but there is a suggested donation to help keep the non-profit park in top form. 1500 N. College Ave., Claremont, 909.625.8767; www.rsabg.org. REDLANDS MARKET NIGHT. Established in 1988, this certified farmers market is one of the most successful in Southern California. An atmosphere of lighted trees, brick sidewalks and historic buildings holds over 150 food and merchandise booths as well as downtown shopkeepers who stay open late. There are clowns, magicians, horse-drawn carriage rides, face painters and live music in every genre. Smoking and animals are not permitted, and children under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult after 8pm. Thurs, 6-9pm. Downtown Redlands, 909.798.7548; www.redlandsmarketnight.com. RILEY’S FARM. This farm has apples, raspberries, pears and sunflowers, amongst other crops. But that’s only the beginning. Why not check out the Colonial Farm Life Adventure, the Revolutionary War Adventure, or the Old Joe Homestead Tour. Or, if you’re feeling extra adventurous, the Revolutionary War Overnight Adventure, dinner programs, and you-pick fruit. Go online to find out what it’s all about. 12261 S. Oak Glen Rd., Oak Glen, 909.797.7534; www. rileysfarm.com. RIVERSIDE CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Bring lots of small bills and change. Good people would also bring their own bags. Year-round. Fri, 8:30am-12pm. 5261 Arlington Ave., Riverside; www.cafarmersmarkets. com. ROBERT RENZONI VINEYARDS AND WINERY. Nestled in a dozen acres in the southern portion of the Temecula Wine Country, this winery is the newest entry in the local batch of great grapes. However the owners aren’t new to the winemaking tradition, which has been part of the family for over a century. This father and son operation features a 4,000 square foot tasting room and production facility, and though they’ve just barely got their winery started, they’re already a featured wine in several restaurants. 37350 De Portola Rd., Temecula, 951.302.8466; www. robertrenzonivineyards.com. SAN BERNARDINO CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Tues, 5:30pm-9:30pm. Yearround. Ferris Hill Park, E. Highland Ave. at Valencia Ave., San Bernardino; www. cafarmersmarkets.com. SOUTH COAST WINERY RESORT AND SPA. Get away for a while and enjoy the holistic peace of this resort which features a winery, spa and restaurant. This relaxing location will bring down anyone’s stress level to a healthy low! 34843 Rancho California Rd., Temecula. 951.587.9463; www.wineresort. com. STARDUST SKATING CENTER. Intro to Derby Skating with the Inland Empire Derby Divas happens every Sun, 10:30am. $5 admission. $2 skate rental. 2167 N. Lugo Ave., San Bernardino, 909.883.1103; www.myspace. com/stardustskatingcenter. STATE STREET WINERY. This winery is one of the newest kids on the State Street block, but its offerings of Cran Chi Chi (fresh

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cranberry-infused Chainto) and Chilean Cabernet (dark and peppery notes) lend a refreshing departure to Downtown Redlands’ usual wine-and-dine scene. Very “special” grape juice is the order of the day, and proprietor Janet Harter is there to make sure your tasting experience goes down smooth and refreshing. 404 E. State St., Redlands, 909.798.4300; www. statestreetwineryredlands.com. SURFER DAVE’S HAUNTED THEATER. A walking tour through the historic Granada Theater in Ontario takes you back in time into the 1920s. Check out locations not generally open to the public and hear about all the famous folks that’ve made the place so special. Surfer Dave’s your host, telling you all about mystery and suspense that surrounds the location and there’s even talk of meeting “visitors from the other side.” Admission: $15. Call ahead for reservations. 303 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.292.8415; www.granadaghosttours.wordpress.com. TEMECULA OLD TOWN CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Sat, 8am-12pm. Year-round. 6th St. at Old Town Front St., Temecula;www. cafarmersmarkets.com. TEMECULA PROMENADE CERTIFIED FARMERS MARKET. Wed, 9am-1pm. Year-round. Winchester Rd. at Ynez Rd., Temecula; www.cafamersmarkets.com. THORNTON WINERY. Opened in 1988, Thornton winery combines old world style with new world taste. Check out their multiple-award-winning restaurant, Café Champagne, the Champagne Jazz Series on the Mediterranean fountain terrace and their winery tours. Oh, and try their specialty—the sparkling wine champagne made with the Methode Champenoise. 32575 Rancho California Rd., Temecula, 951.699.0099; www.thorntonwine.com. THRESH|HOLD. Are you adventurous and want physical stimulation but hate the staleness of standard gyms? Head down to Riverside for a unique rock climbing experience that will get your heart pumpin’ and your muscles sore. Known as bouldering, this workout focuses on the strength of your body through bursts of energetic movements. And the routes, known as problems, require ingenuity and curiousness to explore the limits of your own body. (Don’t worry, there’s a crash pad and trained spotters to help you, might you slip a little.) They also offer yoga classes as well as themed events. Check out the calendar on their website. 2111 Iowa Ave. Unit A, Riverside, 951.742.8479; www.climbth.com. TOM’S FARMS. With several restaurants on site (including a burger stand, Señor Tom’s Mexican food, a cheese and wine deli and their own pizzeria), a Sweet Shoppe, home furnishings and gifts, rides on an 19th --century, steam-propelled train and the carousel, plus live music every weekend, this farm is a lot more than just dried fruit and nuts. Speaking of nuts, check out Anthony the Magic every Sat, 12pm & 2pm, for a half-hour show of doves, straightjackets, audience participation and large illusions with a lovely assistant. 23900 Temescal Canyon Rd., Corona, 951.277.4422; www.tomsfarms.com and www.anthonythemagic.com. UCR BOTANIC GARDENS. Gardens include Alder, Rose, Herb, Cactus, Iris, Lilac, Subtropical Fruit, South African, Boysie Day Baja, and many more. Other highlights are the Geodesic Lath Dome, hiking trails, and a pond that is home to turtles and koi. It’s the perfect place to get away from it all and suck up a little more oxygen. $2 suggested donation. UC Riverside, 900 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.6962; www.botanicgardens.ucr.edu. WIND FARM TOURS. Tour site located at I-10 & Indian Ave. on N. Frontage Rd. (20th

BY jeff girod

Final

Word It’s official: All your technology is wack (to use a technical term). Practically everywhere from your local Radio Shack to Silicon Valley has just announced new, more expensive versions of products you already own—and they’re all scheduled to premiere during the next few months. Both PlayStation and Xbox will release new gaming systems in November. Apple is planning to announce two new iPhones on Sept. 10, the iPhone 5S that is the successor to the iPhone 5 and a long-rumored “budget iPhone.” And not to be outdone, Samsung just invented something called “Galaxy Gear,” which includes a new phone, tablet and smartwatch. (What, no utility belt?) Just beware of buying all three, Inspector Gadget, because nothing says “dumb guy” like a smartwatch. Just how bad are you at misplacing your computer that you have to strap one to your wrist? Digital watches weren’t cool in 1978. They’re not any cooler now. Plus texting and driving is awkward enough without attempting to balance a miniature keyboard on your wrist. All this new technology isn’t cheap. A new PlayStation 4 will set gamers back $399. An Xbox One will cost even more, at $499. For that kind of money, I could get two actual ninjas to fight in my living room or hire someone to dress up like Pac-Man and chase me around. But gamers will buy the new Xbox or PlayStation because both have exciting new features such as “voice control” and “3-D face scan” and something called a “newly improved Kinect camera.” I’m not even sure what that means, but I’m already depressed that some place, somewhere my Kinect camera is old and unimproved. One of the most wonderfully frustrating things about technology is that it never stops advancing. The updates are ever changing and always constant—like Meg Ryan’s face. Outdated electronics are like an exlover. You can’t wait to get rid of them and you hope you never see one again. They’re gross and bulky, and they suck tons of money and energy. The colors clash with everything and you wonder if you ever had anything in common. At least with old TVs and computers, they offer a recycling center. Unfortunately, there’s not a similar service for exes.

So while you’re at Best Buy dropping 2-large on the latest and greatest 3-D flat screen, just remember it will soon be replaced by something newer and shinier. Just whatever you do, DON’T buy the warranty. It will only make the inevitable breakup more painful. Scientists are already at Sony headquarters designing the next best thing in scratch ‘n’ sniff projection holograms. And when the scratch ‘n sniff TVs finally get here, you better believe I’ll be in line to buy two. (I want one to hang across from my automated toilet with the heated seat.) And I’ll justify the expense by convincing myself it’s a “need,” not a “want.” Because we can’t imagine our lives without iPads or smartphones. Sometimes I like to check the weather on my smartphone while I’m outside. Why? Because I’m an idiot with too many apps on my phone. Plus apparently I’d rather look down at a tiny smudged phone screen than up at the sky. Once you buy one iPhone, you’re hooked. It’s not just a smartphone. It’s a religion. You don’t have to go church on Sundays. But you do have to go the Apple Store once in a while, visit the “Genius Bar” and get patronized by a know-it-all 19-year-old in flat-front khakis. The rumor for weeks has been that the new iPhone 5S has a sensor on its start button that allows users to sign in with just the touch of a fingerprint. Before that, you had to tap the screen four times to key in a security code. Four times! I have to lay down just thinking about it. Technology is all about making our lives better. Think about the torturous, nightmarish existence you have now. Now imagine how much more convenient everything would be if you just had a Kinect Camera, a smartwatch and an iPhone 5S. It’s enough to bring a crooked, halfsmile to even Meg Ryan’s swollen face. IE

Contact Jeff Girod at: finalword@ieweekly.com SEPTEMBER 12 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2013 | IEWEEKLY.com