IEW iss. 8.26 by Inland Empire Weekly

Volume 8, Issue 27• October 3 - October 9, 2013 • www.IEWEEKLY.com • Every Thursday

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10 arts & entertainment 16 eats & treats 21 sports & recreation 24 people & places 28 shopping & services 30 bars & clubs

LET THE SHENANIGANS BEGIN Whoa, we’re gettin’ weird with this year’s Best Of IE issue!

news

PROTECT YOUR PIT

Breaking Bad is over. Now what will I do with my life? . . . Ugh, and Miley Cyrus is still lickin’ up the town.

Photo by Tim Richmond

Bodegas keeps the energy high. . . and its our band of the week!

Divola Divuleged

Photographer John Divola’s images from the late-1970s are an inspiration to the modern world.

Editor-In-Chief Evan Senn Entertainment Editor Ashley Bennett calendar editor Jamie Solis Art Director Steven Myrdahl Editorial Design DirectoR Tommy LaFleur Graphic Designer Vidal Diaz

DIMPLES AND PORN

Photo courtesy of Paisano’s Italian Resteraunt

Editorial Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Sarah Bennett, John Bergano, Allen David, Stacy Davies, Jasen Davis, Alex Distefano, George Donovan, Eric Francis, Bill Gerdes, Jesse B. Gill, Jeff Girod, S.A. Hawkins, Robin Johnson, Carl Kozlowski, Robert Kreutzer, Michelle Lepori, Liquid Todd, Kevin Longrie, Dan MacIntosh, Will Morrison, Adam O’Neal, Arrissia Owen, Kathryn Poindexter, Nancy Powell, Tommy A. Purvis, Paul Rogers, James Saunders, Joy Shannon, Andrea Steedman Matt Tapia, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Tamara Vallejos, Suzanne Walsh Simon Weedn

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FINAL WORD

Comedian Joe Rogan brings more than his Fear Factor hosting ability to this stand-up routine . . . Put on your chic fall outfit, it’s time for the Destination Fall Fashion Show!

InternS Dulce Balandran, Kim Johnson, Victoria Banegas, Derek Obregon, Aida Solomon Contributing Artists and Photographers Barry Bruner, Bettina Chavez, Kristopher Christensen, John Gilhooley, Nicholas Ivins, Khai Le, Scott Lost, Seth Wheel Director of Sales & Marketing Jim Saunders office manager Iris Norsworthy office assistant Jamie Solis

Joseph Gordon Levitt turns us on with his adorable smile and his new comedy.

FOOD AS REFLECTION

CALENDAR

Publisher Jeremy Zachary

ROWDY AND RIG HTEOUS

Contrary to its name, Frightened Rabbit confidently keeps your attention.

film

arts & culture

MUSIC

ANYTHING BUT SHY

the rundown

Another attack on pit bulls by Riverside County?

eats

contents

Cover design by: Tommy LaFleur, Steven Myrdahl and Vidal Diaz Cover photo by Ashley Bennett Model: Jamie Solis

Paisano’s new chef views food as a representation of its creator.

No matter how cute and awesome dolphins are, the mammal is dumber than mealworms. True story.

Account Executives Bobby Robles, Dave Ruiz IT Manager Serg Muratov Business Manager Linda Lam distribution manager Cruz Bobadilla VP of Finance Michael Nagami VP of Operations David Comden President Bruce Bolkin

35 | News of the Weird

also

it ’ s finally here ! the best of the best!

35 | !Ask a Mexican! 39 | Dining Guide 58 | Planet Waves

Inland Empire Weekly newspaper is published every Thursday and distributes 30,000 papers at over 1,200 locations throughout the Inland Empire. No articles, illustrations, photographs, or other matter within may be reproduced without written permission. Inland Empire Weekly® is a registered trademark of Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available for $50 for six months; $80 per year. Archive issues are available for $3 per copy. 2175 Sampson Ave. | Suite 118 Corona | California | 92879 phone 951.284.0120 | fax 951.284.2596 www.IEWEEKLY.com

I t ’s time to get we i rd, I E . Ta ke a n ote f ro m u s a n d l e t y o u r “ f re a k f l a g ” f l y . Mi l ey ’s doi ng i t, Gaga al way s does it, Cee L o d on ’ t mi n d; Rus s e ll Bra n d i s i n —a n d y o u ’ re n ex t. T h e I E i s c hoc k-f u l l of awesom e shops, ve nues , bars, res ta u ra n ts , pla c e s a nd p e o p l e — a n d we ’ re g o n n a l a y i t o u t fo r y a. The m ost su c c essf u l , m o s t uniq ue and mos t e n te r ta i n i n g of t h e I n l a n d E m p i re a re a l l ri g h t h e re fo r y ou . Thi s i nc l u des any and all s henanigans. T h i s ty pi c a lly i nvolve s p a rt i a l i f n o t f u l l n u d i t y . Dru n ke n st upor. Ou trageou s spontaneit y . C h a nting “L et’s g e t we i rd” i s a re q u i re m e n t, b u t fe a r n o t, i t wi l l b e n e a rly pai nl ess. Next ti m e, thi nk t wice before headi n g ou t to a fa rawa y l a n d t o sa t i sf y t h a t c rav i n g fo r so m ethi ng rad—l ook no f u rther— we ’ve got everyt h i n g you n e e d, r i g h t h e re. YO U d e c i d e d , YO U vo t e d , a n d we su pport y ou r wei rdness. J u s t t ake a p eek a t ours . . . BEST OF IE contributors:

A l ex B ra d l e y, V i c t or i a Bane gas , Jas e n Davis , Alex Dis tefano, Bill G e rd e s , K im Johnson, D av i d J e n i s on , A s h l ey N., Nanc y Powe ll, Jam ie S o lis , Aid a S o lo m o n, Tam ara Va llejos. OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

arts BEST ART GALLERY Loft Beats Gallery

And they’ve managed to do it again! It seems the on-going activity brought to you by the Loft Beats Gallery has made them a fan favorite for another year running. The art hub is often lit with creations of all mediums and artists from all across the map. If it isn’t enough to keep constant events happening for every art walk night, it’s no surprise for Loft Beats to have their hands in something on the weeks in between. Check out an event and you’ll see the perfect mix of artistry and interaction. (K.J.) 262 W. Second St., Pomona, www.loftbeats.com.

BEST DRIVE-IN

Mission Tiki Drive-In Theatre

This establishment, iconic for its tikithemed shenanigans, has been around since Buddy Holly was in his heyday. Bringing the all-American dependability of the beloved drive-in theatre and matching it up with a quirky tiki-themed atmosphere, this drive-in gives a definite twist to the moviegoing experience. It seems others have been taking notice to the Mission Tiki as well. They now have IE Weekly’s voter chosen “#1 Best Drive In” title to add alongside their OC Register nod as one of the best drive-ins in the nation. (K.J.) 10798 Ramona Ave., Montclair, (909) 628-0511; www.missiontiki.com.

BEST PHOTOG RAPHER

Marcy Johns Photography

BEST ART BAR

dba256 Gallery Wine Bar

If your palette has yet to mature to that of a local wine connoisseur—never fret—the friendly people at dba256 are happy to assist all of its patron’s needs. The mellow, laid-back atmosphere was basically constructed for those mystic Pomona evenings where good tunes, a potent beverage and something stimulating to gaze at is all you need. dba shows itself to be an ideal backdrop for just this—encompassing a drink list to rival any and all local bars with a collection of ever-changing art that is both fresh and visually appealing. (K.J.) 256 S. Main St., Pomona, (909) 623-7600; www.dba256.com.

The voters have spoken, and they like what low desert photographer Marcy Johns is serving up. Specializing in women’s beauty portraiture and high school senior portraits, she is also available for any headshot, modeling portfolio or children’s photography that you can dream up. While working in Palm Springs and the many surrounding cities, Johns keeps her talents easily accessible in another way as well. She also offers up regular Facebook contests to spice up the photo experience and give her fans a chance to win extra shots, products or photo-time with her. (K.J.) www.facebook.com/marcyjohnsphotography

BEST PLACE TO CATCH AN ACT BEFORE THEY BLOW UP The Glass House

It’s been noted time and time again as the go-to location for the hottest performances east of L.A. From Snoop Lion’s Chucks to Davey Havok’s Creepers, the soles and heels from stars all over the legendary timeline have stepped foot on this stage. That definitely includes those of up-andcoming bands we’re sure to soon follow. A strong history of kick-ass lineups and an equally kick-ass team has given The Glass House the notoriety and trustworthy eye for booking up-and-comers. (K.J.) 200 W. Second St., Pomona; www.theglasshouse.us.

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BEST DRAG QUEEN Raven

Bet you didn’t know Raven, star of Ru Paul’s Drag Race, is a Riverside native, did you? Yep, the first runner-up on season two of the hit show represents her Riverside roots with pride. In a triumphant spin off from Drag Race success, Raven has made a career out of being a celebrity personality, not only for

the locals, but also abroad. With a burgeoning music career, glam-filled drag shows from the mountains to the valleys and even some screen time on America’s Next Top Model, it’s no wonder she is our top pick for best drag queen. (K.J.)

whether from national and international playwrights or local talent. (T.V.) (909) 621-1058; www.opheliasjump.org.

BEST TATTOO ARTIST Justin “Panda” Brophy, Empire Tattoo in Upland

Empire Tattoo might be in need of a website overhaul, but don’t let the Geocities-like homepage fool you. There’s some serious talent working in this Upland parlor, including Justin “The Panda” Brophy. Snapshots of his work are available both on Empire Tattoo’s site, and on Brophy’s own Instagram account, the bio of which says he “live[s] to create.” That statement is immediately backed up by evidence of his intricate designs, bursting with gorgeous, vivid colors and meticulous shading. (T.V.) 2176 W Foothill Blvd, Upland, (909) 985-8889; www.empire-tattoo.com.

BEST THEATRE COMPANY Ophelia’s Jump, Claremont

This young theater company opened its inaugural production one year ago with a play that tipped off the public to its big ambitions; August: Osage County is a massively acclaimed, Pulitzer Prize winning piece, difficult even for an established company to mount. Ophelia’s Jump isn’t about playing it safe, though. Its mission is to challenge the region with thought-provoking, dramatic works,

BEST LOCAL RADIO STATION X 103.9

Alternative rock station X103.9 is kind of all over the place, and that’s just the way you like it. Just take a look at one of the station’s most recent weekly charts, bookended by 16-year-old pop newcomer Lorde and her catchy hit “Royals” at the No. 1 spot, and alt-metal veterans Korn’s “Never Never” at No. 10. That variety shows the IE’s musical diversity. (T.V.) 103.9 FM, (909) 890-1010; www.x1039.com.

BEST MORNING RADIO CREW

Stu, Tiffany and Jimbo at 96.7 KCAL Rocks

It has been anecdotally, if not scientifically, proven that mornings are just the worst. From the first buzz of the alarm clock to finally dragging yourself out the door to battle morning traffic, there are nearly zero perks to that time of day—almost. Thanks

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to Stu, Tiffany and Jimbo at KCAL Rocks, waking up is a little less brutal. At this point, after 15-plus years on the air together, it’s like tuning in to catch up with energetic, insane old friends. (T.V.) 96.7 FM KCAL Rocks, (909) 431-4967; www.kcalfm.com.

BEST RADIO TALK SHOW HOST Lanny Swerdlow

In November, Lanny Swerdlow will be able to celebrate six years as host of “Marijuana, Compassion and Common Sense.” Broadcast on KCAA, Swerdlow and his show address topics in medical marijuana while advocating for legislative reform, featuring lively and thoughtful commentary from members of the pro-legalization community, including Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson. As a registered nurse and the founder of the Inland Empire Patients Wellness Center (a medical marijuana collective that was shut down earlier this year), Swerdlow is an expert on the topic, and a voice the IE trusts. (T.V.) “Marijuana, Compassion and Common Sense” on KCAA 1050 AM, www.kcaaradio.com.

happenings

whatever it is—it’s working. Pomona’s art walk, attended monthly by visitors in the thousands, is a twice-monthly mini-fest (2nd and in your own backyard.) (K.J.) 119 W. Second St., Pomona; www.downtownpomona.org.

BEST OPEN MIC

Redlands Underground

If the singer/songwriter in you is ever itching to make an appearance, set aside a Monday night and pop in to Redlands Underground. The stage of this triple threat restaurant/bar/venue is garnishing this year’s Best Open Mic title with good reason. The business has been working hard to encourage local talent to their stage since its start-up seven years ago. From our end, it looks like audiences and performers are leaving pretty satisfied, taking their support to the ballot in an overwhelming onslaught. (K.J.) 19 E. Citrus Ave., Redlands, (909) 798-1500; www.redlandsunderground.com.

BEST COMEDY SHOW Sha’Dynasty Improv

If you’ve ever seen an episode of Whose Line is it Anyway? you’ve got a basic idea of how improv comedy works—and of how hilarious it can be. Redlands’ own Sha’Dynasty has been bringing the local laughs for the past two years, at gigs fueled both by suggestions from the audience and the troupe’s ability to think on their feet. Sha’Dynasty was on hiatus until recently, returning to plenty of giggles and guffaws with a performance at Katz Alley, and have more dates in the works. (T.V.) www.facebook.com/pages/SHA-DynastyImprov/199406106781284.

BEST COMEDY NIG HT Tuesdays at Liam’s Irish Pub

BEST ART WALK Pomona Art Walk

So far, Pomona venues have coveted many of our “Best Of ” titles. It comes as no surprise that the city makes a clean sweep this year; as champions of the art walk arena. It could be the colorful variety of galleries, work spaces, music stores and venues that draw in the artistically inclined, but

Ah, the classic Irish pub. A place where you can go to find a properly poured Guinness, a nice Shepherd’s Pie, and . . . standup comedy? Maybe that last part isn’t typical at Irish pubs, but it comes standard at Liam’s in Colton, which has built a reputation for its Tuesday night comedy showcase. Now seven years strong, Tuesdays at Liam’s offers more than just laughs: there are also the specials, like $1 tacos and $3 Coronas. We’d ask what tacos are doing in an Irish pub but, like the rest of you, we’re too busy eating. (T.V.) 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, (909) 422-9900.

BEST FILM FEST

909 Film Festival California has no shortage of film festivals, but 909 Film Festival stands out as one of the most unique. Not only is its purpose specifically to highlight films with local themes or ones that prominently feature locations in the 909 area code, but every film must clock less than nine minutes and nine seconds in length. As if that’s not enough, 12

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all of this year’s submissions were due by September 9, and each accepted filmmaker paid a $9.09 submission fee. Talk about repping local pride. (T.V.) www.909junkie.com.

airworthy Lockheed P-38s. Look for the show to dazzle yet again next year, when the team takes to the skies May 3 and 4, 2014. (T.V.) 7000 Merrill Ave., #17, Chino, (909) 597-3722; www.planesoffame.org.

BEST DRAG NIG HT

BEST FOURTH OF JULY FIREWORKS

The Menagerie

In business for 30 years, The Menagerie is an LGBT mainstay all on its own. But toss in its long-running Thursday night drag show, and the club gets kicked up another notch. Each week, drag queen Raven gets the party started with her colorfully titled show, “Snatch.” If you think she looks familiar, you’re not imagining things: Raven was the first runner-up of season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Since then, she’s toured the country, but her gig at Menagerie shows that she hasn’t forgotten her hometown roots. (T.V.) 3581 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 788-8000; www.clubmenagerie.com.

University of Redlands

Fourth of July without a fireworks show is like a spring without baseball: practically unAmerican. Not only does the celebration at University of Redlands deliver, the day-long Independence Day festivities also include a parade, live music, a flag ceremony, flyovers and skydivers. With all of this happening before even the first firework explodes, talk about getting some serious bang for your buck. There’s a reason this event is going on 46 years strong. (T.V.) Ted Turner Stadium at University of Redlands, 1200 E. Colton Ave., Redlands, www.redlands-events.com/July4.htm.

BEST LOCAL SINGER/SONGWRITER

BEST ELECTRONIC ARTIST

What do you think when you hear the phrase “singer-songwriter”? Probably something folksy, and likely a dude with an acoustic guitar. But if you’re picturing a local version of Jack Johnson in this category, brace yourselves. Instead, we have Riverside’s own Robb Ba$$, a songwriter, performer, DJ and producer all rolled into one. He recently dropped what he calls his Riverside anthem, “Make My City Proud”—and considering his top honors this year, it looks like he’s on his way to doing just that. (T.V.) www.imrobbbass.com.

Make sure to grab your boogie shoes on your way out the door, because Adrian Aguirre, known on stage as DUBL_A, wants to make you move. The Riverside-based producer first fell in love with EDM (that’s Electronic Dance Music, for the handful of uninitiated folks) as a teenager, after his first encounter with drum ‘n’ bass. Now he’s dubstepping his way all over town and earning new fans with each DJ set. (T.V.) www.soundcloud.com/dubl_a.

Robb Ba$$

DUBL_A

turn it up!

BEST AIR SHOW

The Chino Air Show They fly through the air with the greatest of ease, with more than 35,000 people oohing and aahing from the ground. The Planes of Fame Airshow, performed in the skies above the Chino Airport, is an annual effort by the air museum of the same name—and the 2013 show last May set attendance records thanks to nearly 40 planes in action, daring acrobatics and rare treats like five of the world’s seven

BEST INDEPENDENT RECORD LABEL

BEST HIP-HOP ARTIST

If you’re into “West Coast, dark and aggressive hip-hop,” and it looks like a lot of you are, then Grim Reality Entertainment has got you covered. The local label was founded in 2001 by artists JP Tha Hustler and Andrew “Cyco” Holiman, the latter of whom was frontman for Insane Poetry, one of hip-hop’s first horrorcore groups. If you know what horrorcore is, then you can understand where Grim Reality is coming from. And if you don’t? Just be warned, these beats aren’t for the faint of heart. (T.V.) www.grimrealityentertainment.net.

Jose Atilano, better known as 60 East, first got into hip-hop as a kid watching his big brother work on his own music. Since then, his reputation has grown steadily, thanks to a few high profile gigs and some legit tracks. One of those tracks is “Motivation,” which features the lyrics, “You can teach motivation, you can’t fake motivation, so please keep hatin’, ‘cause I could use the motivation.” That’s all well and good, but only issue is that not a lot of people appear to be hating. (T.V.) www.reverbnation.com/60east.

Grim Reality Entertainment

60 East

BEST LOCAL FOLK/ALT-FOLK BAND The Calicos

Even folk has an edge when it’s coming out of the Inland Empire. As far as its lovely, melodic vocals, The Calicos follow in the expected folk and alt-folk traditions. But its instrumentation adds just a touch of gruffness to the mix, with dense, grungy guitar riffs. The trio itself says their brand of folk is influenced by rock and hip-hop, with a bit of Otis Jackson, Jr., and Zach Hill thrown in for good measure. Not the usual suspects, but that’s exactly what makes you want to curl up The Calicos and purr along. (T.V.) www.thecalicos.bandcamp.com.

BEST LOCAL METAL BAND Sangre

Not only does Sangre’s music top the 2013 edition of this category, the name alone should win a couple honors for just being so badass. Speaking of badass, Sangre has proven itself in front of thousands of people in both the U.S. and Mexico and have shared the stage with some of the genre’s biggest names, including Slayer, Sepultura, Motorhead and more. These local metal mainstays boast that “Sangre eats, sleeps,

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sweats and bleeds heavy metal music,” and even though they’ve been rocking since 1999, they show no signs of stopping. (T.V.) www.reverbnation.com/Sangremetal

Local Blues Band” honors in 2011, as well. It’s good to see that this quartet is still going strong, and still getting folks to groove to its old school blues and rock and roll rhythms. Bring Your Own Blues can often be found playing local farmers markets and other community events, and if you haven’t yet experienced it for yourselves, it’s got a couple Chino dates lined up this fall. (T.V.) www.facebook.com/bringyourownblues.

BEST LOCAL COUNTRY BAND The Paper Crowns

The Paper Crowns released its debut album, See You Tonight only last year, but it clearly made quite the impression with area fans. If you’re not typically a fan of country, don’t write off The Paper Crowns before you hear the music; the trio’s tunes are gentler, folksier and more thoughtful than the yee-haws that, quite stereotypically, are associated with the genre. Plus, skipping over this band would mean you’d miss the highlight of its tunes: the sweet, boy-girl vocal harmonies that can lull practically any listener into tranquility. (T.V.) www.thepapercrowns.com.

BEST LOCAL BLUES BAND

Bring Your Own Blues Bring Your Own Blues (also known as B.Y.O.B.—see what they did there?) is no stranger to this list, having earned “Best

BEST LOCAL PUNK BAND The Logs

It’s been a good year for fans of punk rock band The Logs, a quartet that formed all the way back in 1993 but eventually decided to take an extended hiatus from performing live. The good news is they’re back as of this summer, and have wasted no time in reclaiming their place atop Riverside’s punk scene. Not only are they working on getting some fall gigs scheduled, their tracks on ReverbNation have pushed them to No. 1 on the local punk charts, with fans eager to see what else is in store. (T.V.) www.reverbnation.com/ thelogscalifornia.

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sweets BEST BAKERY Some Crust Bakery

Nestled in the heart of Claremont Village, this longtime European-style bakery has been churning out fresh-baked goods since 1916, and under Larry and Sandie Feemster’s watch, Some Crust continues to be as busy as ever. While Larry likes to brag that nothing ever runs over a day old, the truth of the matter is that most items (the fruit and cheese Danishes, especially and the decadent, brownie-like mocha chocolate chip cookies) don’t even reach the threehour mark before it’s into the very happy tummies of hungry patrons. Let’s not forget hand-crafted mini cakes with light, melt-inyour-mouth buttercream spread over fluffy, delicate, spongy layers that would make any bride-to-be (or cake lover) swoon with unbridled pleasure. (N.P.) 119 Yale Ave., Claremont, (909) 621-9772; www.somecrust.com.

BEST ICE CREAM

Porter (Porter-infused red velvet cake topped with Porter cream cheese) have emerged as the clear-cut favorites. Oh, and yes, these spirited-cupcakes are family-friendly. (N.P.) 1150 Brookside Ave., Redlands, (909) 792-1399; www.brewcake.com.

Best Doughnuts Baker’s Dozen Donuts

Any old donut shop can make a basic glaze pastry or chocolate bar but Baker’s Dozen Donuts strives to make itself stand out. Each delicate pastry is hand crafted with quality in mind—and it has a number of specialty lattes to make your morning the best it can be. Sure Baker’s Dozen has the usual stuff, but it also offers specialty donuts (a mouth-watering maple bar topped with thick pieces of bacon is often sold out) as well as fresh fritters, crispy croissants magnificent muffins. The only thing you have to do is come prepared to wait in line with everyone else who knows about Corona’s best donut and bakery. (A.N.) 325 S. Main St., #A, Corona, (951) 736-7571; www.bakersdozendonuts.com.

À La Minute

The culinary term à la minute refers to the concept of something prepared to order, and that’s just exactly what the folks of Redland’s favorite ice cream parlor like to do. They whip up batches of creamy ice cream using fresh, organic ingredients right in front of your eyes, thanks to a bit of home-grown alchemy (flash-freezing with liquid nitrogen). Before you know it, you have standing before you the stuff from which wet dreams are made. Of the 10 flavors, the strawberry balsamic, mint chip (garnished with real mint leaves), cinnamon roll with cream cheese (Sundays only) are must-haves during any visit to this perennially packed house. (N.P.) 19 Citrus Ave., #105, Redlands, (909) 307-3751; www.alalminuteicecream.com.

BEST MALT SHOP Cedar Glen Malt Shop

The Cedar Glen Malt Shop looks like any other mountain home off-the-beaten path on the way to Lake Arrowhead, but if you drive by this nostalgic 1940s shack without even a curious stop, you miss out on the best footed, fluted glass of creamy goodness this side of the Sierra Nevadas. These to-die-for, extra thick, frothy malts are made by hand with real ice cream, malt and crushed ice for a ginormous, mouthwatering treat that goes hand-in-hand with one of the many car-themed 1/3-pound burgers and thick-cut fries. (N.P.) 29125 Hook Creek Rd., Cedar Glen, (909) 337-6640.

BEST PIE

I Like Pie Bake Shop

The Empire’s best pies aren’t all sinful images of sugary nirvana, but savory bites wrapped up in a buttery, flaky crust. In fact, many will argue that the chicken pot pies, mushroom and shallot pies and the pulled pork pies are I Like Pie’s claim-to-fame, although the offshoots of traditional sweet pies—jelly jar pies that look like muffins, lollipop pies (think cake pop substituted with pie) and toaster-filled pies—have earned just as much buzz. When its pies get honorable mention through National Public Radio and beyond, you know Claremont has amassed yet another good thing. (N.P.) 175 N. Indian Hill Blvd., Suite 102B, Claremont, (909) 621-5152; www.ilikepiebakeshop.com.

BEST CUPCAKES Brewcakes

When C.J. and Sarah Sillers of Kiddoughs started mixing brews into their cupcake recipes, they decided to market their new dessert under the “Brewcake” banner at craft-beer festivals so as not to confuse current customers. Little did they know that Kiddoughs would be reborn as Brewcakes and that these craft-beer infused cupcakes would take on a life of their own. The Sillers’ menu now features six, of which the Irish Cake Bomb (stout-infused chocolate cake topped by a Bailey’s buttercream frosting and whiskey chocolate sauce) and Red

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BEST FROYO

Berries Frozen Yogurt

Another year and yet another “Best of ”

award pocketed by this perennial favorite. The Inland Empire’s best known froyo chain has more character than Pinkberry and more creativity than a Cold Stone, with an interesting smorgasbord of options that only gets better from its base of vanilla, tart, chocolate or berry yogurt. Got cookies on your mind? Make it a Cookie Monster! Looking for a taste of childhood? Why not sample one of Berries’ deconstructed candy bar flavors. Just point to the chart and let the magic begin. If there is one flavor you must try, it’s definitely the Nutella Bella. (N.P.) 7350 Day Creek Blvd., Suite 102, Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 463-2924; www.facebook.com/berriesyogurt.

. specialty . . . . .foods . . . BEST SANDWICHES/SUBS Jersey Mike’s

When you order a sub Mike’s Way, you get a hearty, meaty masterpiece that would put Quizno’s or Subway to shame; it can feed an army of hungry soldiers without doubling the meat or price. Besides the standard fixins of onion, tomato, vinegar, oil and spice, there’s Mike’s secret “Juice”—a blend of red wine vinegar and olive oil so good that mayo and mustard become blasé afterthoughts. Lucky for us, David Abrahams’ first encounter with a Mike’s sub in L.A. and his subsequent move to bring Jersey Mike’s to the IE is why we can never go back to substandard subs again. (N.P.) Locations in Norco, Eastvale, Corona, Upland and Redlands; www.jerseymikes.com.

BEST UPSCALE BURGER Eureka! Burger

A good beer makes an already good burger better, which is one of many reasons why Eureka! Burger consistently tops the IE’s gourmet burger charts. Another reason is the thought that goes into making a responsible, sustainable cuisine. Eureka’s Certified Angus beef patties are fatty, aged and seasoned so simply that the inner cow shines magnificently through. Plop it on a pillowy soft brioche bun with house made spreads, a pile of fresh veggies and serve it along with a basket of crispy, savory sweet potato fries and pint of craft beer and you’ve got a finger-lickin’ culinary triumvirate fit for the educated carnivores of the world. (A.N.) Locations in Claremont and Redlands; www.eurekaburger.com.

BEST PIZZERIA

Gourmet Pizza Shoppe

The late Huell Howser once thought that Bill Craw’s pizzas were so “amazing” that he would host the annual KVCR fundraisers here. So to honor Howser after his death, Craw devised the California Gold, although even without this special, one could eat a hand-made pizza every week for a year at the Gourmet Pizza Shoppe and still never get through the entire menu. Maybe that’s what prompted fans to give Bill Craw’s home-grown pizzeria Inland Empire Magazine’s “Best Pizza” honors five years running. Or maybe it’s the fraternal, family-friendly vibe that runs through this faux Italian café. No matter what, just name your pie and Craw’s family will make it with lots of love. (N.P.) 120 E. State St., Redlands, (909) 792-3313; www.gourmetpizzas.com.

BEST STEAK HOUSE Fleming’s Steak House

It’s no surprise that the master of prime cuts should occupy the IE’s top spot for steak houses. Flavorful medium-rare cuts marry together perfectly with a lavish side of chipotle lobster mac and cheese. Fleming’s upscale take on scalloped potatoes is another great side, and a heady glass of wine selected from Fleming’s sizable list make for a perfect steak dinner. Let’s not forget the posh surroundings that lend a sophisticated air to the whole steak house experience. (N.P.) 7905 Monet Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 463-0416; www.flemingssteakhouse.com.

BEST BBQ

Famous Dave’s

So yes, it’s a chain restaurant, but for a corporate franchise, Famous Dave’s serves up some darned tasty barbecue, and if the smoked meats drifting inside the restaurant don’t have you at “hello,” then perhaps the oversized portions of tender, juicy hog or bovine deliciousness will. Famous Dave’s St. Louis-style ribs aren’t exactly fall-off-thebone, but the dark, caramelized coating on the ribs gives it a sweet toothiness which satisfies like a nice piece of steak. The chicken is seasoned well while the Texas beef brisket is smoky and flavorful. As for sides, the Wilbur beans provide the most bang for the buck with its smoky kick of beans, pork, brisket, sausage and jalapenos. (N.P.) Locations in Redlands and Rancho Cucamonga; www.famousdaves.com.

BEST HEART ATTACK WAITING TO HAPPEN Slater’s 50/50

Colossal doesn’t even begin to describe what Slater’s 50/50 has in store for burger connoisseurs, and that’s even for the guys with the bad ass appetites for whom a loaded, half-pounder is just a tiny blip on the map. Suffice it to say that Slater’s signature patty—a 50/50 mix of ground bacon and ground beef—is only the first step towards the self-sacrifice required to devour the greasy behemoth. One could lay on slices of thick-cut bacon, PB&J, avocado or Fritos chips. Toss in a basket of beer chili cheese fries and wash it all down with a thick shake sitting beside the couple pints already on the table. Oh, the artery-clogging horror! (N.P.) 8009 Day Creek Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 803-1991; www.slaters5050.com.

it’s all about ambience

beats an evening of drinks surrounded by the warmth of an outdoor fire, thousands of lights twinkling mischievously in the distance as you bid the city and your loved one a fond good night. (N.P.) 670 Kendall Dr., San Bernardino, (909) 881-1502; www.castawayrestaura nt.com/castaway_sanbernardino.

BEST THEMED RESTAURANT Rok-N-Fondue

Fondue was a trendy party food back in the 1950s and 1960s, but it faded from public consciousness until recently when restaurants like The Melting Pot made fondue chic yet again. Then Rok-N-Fondue jumped into the pot this year, and it’s become this fun, big occasion spot where friends and couples congregate to share some stories over running mountains of Gruyere cheese, bacon and mushroom fondue while grilling meats on a hot block called the “rock.” Dessert involves running streams of chocolate. If you’re into cheese and chocolate, Rok-N-Fondue satisfies that demand. (N.P.) 25 E. State St., Redlands, (909) 793-1919; www.roknfondue.com.

BEST ATMOSPHERE The Salted Pig

BEST NEW RESTAURANT The Rookery

The Rookery resembles a piece of music that one plays a couple of times before that fondness develops. At first glance, the Rookery seems to be about the bottles and cheap drafts, but dig a little closer into this hip little watering hole and one finds the hidden layers. A small menu of burgers and grill items that grows with every taste, and a delicious beer selection that changes all the time. The restaurant itself is a work in progress; their latest adventures, like beer-infused roasts, is shared with us all. Amazing and memorable. (N.P.) 117 W. 2nd St., Pomona, (909) 865-4400; www.rookeryalehouse.com.

BEST SPICY CUISINE Red Hot Kitchen

If you’re looking for a vibrant happy hour location in downtown Riverside, look no further than The Salted Pig. Within the brick-lined walls of this swanky gastropub lies a vibrant, spirited party where uber friendly servers and home-cooked goodies by Chef Larry Thai do much to enhance the charm. The staff certainly knows their beer in spite of the frequency with which their selections change. Even more impressive is their knowledge of each plate, which they expertly pair to brews. An open kitchen and lively bar keeps the party going until the early hours of the morning. Pigs (and especially baconcovered dates) rule! (N.P.) 3700 12th St., Riverside, (951) 848-4020; www.saltedpigriverside.com.

For some, Mexican food comes down to its sauces. In Korean food, it’s all about the volume of garlic and chili powder that goes into assaulting the senses. Marry the two and one gets a treasury of refined heat and aromatics that add a whole lot of flavor to what otherwise would be bland, and it’s what Travis Cho did to his two favorite foods. Cho’s restaurant might invite comparisons to Kogi’s—fusion tacos and burritos filled with spicy meats or tofu—but the food is entirely his own devising and an authentic reflection of his own experiences growing up Korean amongst Mexicans in urban Chicago. (N.P.) 1995 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 684-9800; www.rhkriverside.com.

BEST ROMANTIC RESTAURANT

BEST NON-FAST-FOOD FAST-FOOD

Castaway is a favorite for weddings and a must-see stop while on a romantic mountain getaway. Ask anybody who’s dined at Castaway and they’ll mention the hilltop views—day or night, spectacular and breathtaking panoramas of the valley below will greet you. Next they’ll talk about the free-flowing bubbly the restaurant serves with Sunday brunch, a wonderful array of roundtable decadence that would impress any date. Of course, nothing

Legends is one of those diners that has something for every taste, preference and style. Its ode to Americana is certainly in character with its location near Route 66. Walk in here and it’s like a time warp back to the ‘50s; the food and values are notches above Ruby’s (its closest competitor) and the atmosphere is funky and fun. Want to share an order of the chili cheese fries with friends, spilling over with chili cheese, red onions and pastrami? Or an old-fashioned

Castaway

Legends

BEST SEAFOOD Market Broiler

Quality seafood houses are few and far between so many miles inland from the sea, but Market Broiler always has enough variety and preparations to appease even the choosiest of pescetarians. Fried options like the fish and chips and coconut and panko-crusted shrimp will always remain crowd favorites, but it’s those occasional fresh, briny gems that give Market Broiler an edge over its competition. Besides salmon, tuna and shrimp, this New England-styled fish house also offers several seasonal catches of the day, mesquite-broiled filets marinated in garlic and lime that’s served with its signature garlic mashed potatoes and sautéed chef ’s vegetables. (N.P.) Locations in Riverside and Ontario; www. marketbroiler.com. OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

banana split, big enough for a threesome to share? Only at Legends. (N.P.) Locations in Upland and Rancho Cucamonga; www.legends-burgers.com.

BEST BREAKFAST

Corky’s Kitchen and Bakery

There are many options for breakfast in the I.E. but Corky’s was the clear winner with Weekly readers. Maybe it’s their array of amazing omelettes, with eggs cracked fresh; or maybe it’s their deliciously sweet bacon or their gravy that you might be tempted to slurp up right on the spot. Whatever it is, they’ve got something on the menu to please you. Corky’s serves up big, medium and even small breakfasts the right way. (B.G.) Locations in Eastvale, Fontana Rancho Cucamonga, Corona and Rialto; www.corkyskitchenandbakery.com.

BEST LATE NIG HT CHOW

Corky’s Kitchen and Bakery

Move over Denny’s, because we’ve got a double winner. Corky’s is also the spot for a late night nosh, whether it’s been a night out or a lazy night in, Corky’s offers up tons of options for late night fare. You can get choices off their lunch menu 24 hours a day. Or try one of the homestyle plates, gigantic entrees featuring old-

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school classics like their tasty meatloaf or their tasty liver and onions platter. Kick it like its 1959 baby, with some mashed potatoes and gravy, roll and salad or soup on the side. Be ye drunk or sober, if you’re in need of a late night snack, Corky’s is the place. (B.G.) Locations in Eastvale, Fontana Rancho Cucamonga, Corona and Rialto; www.corkyskitchenandbakery.com.

BEST SUNDAY BRUNCH The Olive Ave Market

Some folks feel this lovely little 89-year-old place is too crowded. It’s often packed on the weekends because, well, the coffee’s great and the food’s scrumptious. They take a simple item like a breakfast burrito and make it sublime. Ditto for the scrambles and tacos—it’s all done by a helpful staff, in a space whose vibe is quite chilled despite the crowds. (B.G.) 530 W. Olive Ave. Redlands, (909) 792-8823; www.oliveavenuemarket.com.

internationally awesome

BEST FALAFEL Aladdin Jr.

Aladdin Jr. is a quirky, interesting little semi-dive that features up a lovely little buffet full of many Mediterranean treats and dishes, a hookah bar, entertainment and a damn fine falafel sandwich that never fails to satisfy those chickpea cravings. Their falafel is juicy, sublime and big. Both their tahini and hummus are near perfect, along with the other condiments, all encased in a fresh and tasty bit of pita bread. Aladdin Jr. can’t grant all your wishes, but they can grant your falafel ones. (B.G.) 3161 N. Garey Ave., (909) 593-3887; www.aladdinjrrestaurantcafe.com.

sorts of subtle flavors. For another dollar, they’ll throw in some pork or chicken but it’s just as amazing without. On a side note, you’d be smart to sample the udon while you’re at Rohey’s as well. Flavor just seems to ooze out of their noodle dishes. The service is spot on, too. (B.G.) 4294 Riverwalk Pkwy., Riverside, (951) 359-5272; www.roheystofumanwokandgrills.com.

Casa Barreto

Saying this place has great tamales is almost missing the point; they’ve got stupendous Mexican fare all the way around. This casa will impress any Mexican food lover with their fresh and homemade dishes. Along the way you should also sample their homemade tortillas, delicious and zesty salsas and then finish off with one of their (now) award-winning tamales. Que delicioso. (B.G.) 8541 Sierra Ave. Fontana, (909) 822-5753; www.uthenticmexicanrestuarantinfon tana.com.

BEST TACOS Tacos Del Rio

A great taco has three main components: 1) The corn tortilla should be fresh, and if “hard,” should achieve a genuine crunch moment. 2) Said taco should also be full of flavor, and 3) it should be moderately priced. Tacos Del Rio achieves the holy taco trifecta. One of the shining stars here is the Al Pastor, real spit-grilled perfection that when combined with their salsa makes for a lot of flavor in a little taco. Their Taco Tuesdays may be crowded but are worth the aforementioned wait. (B.G.) 6987 Hamner Ave., Eastvale; (951) 898-9256.

BEST RAMEN

Rohey’s Wok & Grill

Here’s another gem in the Inland Empire. Rohey’s is a smorgasbord of Korean and Japanese dishes (some of them more authentic than others), almost all of them tasty and well priced. People rave about their ramen. People are right to. For under five bucks, one gets a steamy bowl of perfectly cooked ramen with all

Haandi’s

Thai House

Wok N’ Grill

BEST TAMALES

BEST INDIAN

BEST THAI

BEST HALAL For the uninitiated, Halal is the term that describes permissible foods and cooking procedures under Islamic law. For the further uninitiated Wok N’ Grill is a dirtcheap fast food place that manages to serve up a host of options that fit under the Halal banner. Want a Halal Philly cheesesteak? Wok’s got it. Want a Halal burger? They’ve got that too. Want fresh homemade ice cream? Wok’s got that too. In fact they’ve got just about everything at this quirky spot, including a drive thru. And unlike many a slop-shop the food here is tasty, clean and just might fit your religious requirements. (B.G.) 905 N. Waterman, San Bernardino, (909) 388-9199; www.facebook.com/wokngrill.

best restaurants period. The décor may be a bit dated, but if you love French cooking that’s full of taste and flavor (and often butter) this is the place. Their sauces are outstanding, as is their wine list. The staff is attentive without being annoying. Try the mussels and scallops—both will make you feel like jumping on a plane to Nice, or coming back to Le Rendezvous. (B.G.) 4775 N. Sierra Wy., San Bernardino, (909) 883-1231; www.lerendezvousrestaurant.biz.

BEST PHO Pho Vi

Pho, that deliciously Vietnamese beefbased soup of wonders is everywhere these days—and even bad pho (if healthily prepared) is still pretty damn tasty. But the pho at Pho Vi goes beyond tasty and reaches sublimely transcendent heights. Try the Rare Steak Pho and sit back as your taste buds come alive in a rush. Not only is the pho great but so are the sandwiches; the staff is helpful and it’s located in Pomona’s downtown arts area. If you have never tried pho before, try it at Pho Vi—your taste buds will thank you. (B.G.) 81 S. Thomas St., Pomona, (909) 865-6888.

BEST SUSHI Miyagi

Located in the depths of San Berdoo comes Miyagi, our winner in the sushi category and frankly a hell-of-a-fun place to gulp down both sake and raw fish of all types. Many all-you-can-eat sushi places exhibit some suck-like tendencies—not Miyagi. The place doesn’t just rock for being named after Pat Morita’s character in the Karate Kid. Ok, it may not be named after Ralph Machio’s fictional mentor. The chefs are wickedly entertaining; the sushi itself is fresh and well-crafted, and did I say it’s all-you-can-eat? You can’t go wrong at Miyagi—it’s an unpretentious dining experience along with all the spicy tuna rolls you can throw down your gullet. (B.G.) 228 E. Baseline St., San Bernardino, (909) 889-3929; www.miyagisushi.com.

Thai food; once an exotic choice, and now surpassed by a blizzard of more exotic cuisines and food trends. Yet, Thai food is as good as it’s ever been in the area, and Thai House is extraordinary. It was the first Thai restaurant in Redlands but it hasn’t grown stale or self-satisfied. Maybe try the Papaya Salad for starters, as it’s fresh and full of subtle flavors. Then perhaps the Pad Thai, a staple dish that every Thai place should do well. Thai House’s Pad Thai is perfect. Along your culinary trail, why not try a few of their refined and refreshing martinis? Thai House will help you remember why you fell in love with Thai cuisine in the first place. (B.G.) 1824 W. Redlands Blvd., Redlands, (909) 798-3143; www.thaihouseredlands.com.

BEST MEDITERRANean Kabob Hutt

The term Mediterranean cuts a broad swath and could encompass everything from Catalan cuisine to Egyptian with Greek, North African and Italian coming along for the ride. Kabob Hutt cuts a broad swath too because it’s freaking great—and cheap. It’s also delicious. The Hutt specialize in kabobs of course, charbroiled perfectly; any of the meat choices are tender and delicious, but the lamb is a cut above—delicately seasoned, sweet yet pungently spicy. If you find yourself jonesing for Kabob Hutt and think the addiction is getting serious, they’ve got a daily lunch special that is fast and satisfying. (B.G.) 165 Washburn Cir., Corona, (951) 279-6696; www.kabobhutt.com.

BEST FRENCH Le Rendezvous

Winning this one might feel like faint praise—after all, we don’t have that many French restaurants in the Inland Empire; Rendezvous, however, is more than the best French restaurant in the area, it’s one of our

Haandi’s seems to win this award from Weekly readers every year. There’s a reason for this— Haandi’s is a great place to get your curry on. From the nan bread, up through their amazing quantity and quality of entrees, Haandi’s keeps delivering the goods. And the menu is huge. Try the amazing appetizers, then sample one of their Tandoori (clay-baked) specialties. The restaurant space is interesting and relaxed (and has great Bollywood videos on) but they also have take-out if you prefer to take your Lamb Goan to go. (B.G.) 7890 Haven Ave. #15, Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 581-1951; www.haandiindian.com.

BEST ITALIAN Romano’s

There’s always something going on at this place. There’s the proper Romano’s restaurant, with all sorts of cheesy, tomato-filled, lovely pasta dishes. Then there’s the pizzeria that fires up some of the best pizza (think very cheesy) in the area. And finally there is the bar and concert lounge where cover bands and sometimes “real” bands like Berlin and The English Beat play on the weekends. There is a great patio out in the back, and some pool tables off to the side of the bar. In short, Romano’s has delicious Italian food in a setting that’s a lot of fun. (B.G.) Locations in Riverside and Redlands; www.romanosrestaurants.com.

BEST CHINESE Lotus Garden

Lotus Garden is a lunch buffet/family dinner sort of Chinese restaurant that doesn’t go out of its way to make anything terribly fancy or foo-foo; instead it just serves up tasty Chinese food in an affordable way. Like buffets? Hit up Lotus for lunch and enjoy the myriad of choices availably for a quick meal. Prefer a more conventional meal? Try the family dinner options that offer an extensive array of options. Or screw it and order the savory and memorable Peking

BEST KOREAN BBQ Myung Ga

It’s another foodie winner from San Bernardino, a place often ignored and abused by other denizens of the area. Well snobs, you’re missing out on some great grub. Myung Ga is perhaps, the most authentic Korean BBQ joint in the IE and perhaps the best as well. Instead of table hibachi-grills, they’ll do the cooking for you. The results can often be quite unique and amazing. Their Bimimbap is justly renowned, but, one might also sample the Kimchi Stew, a dish that is otherworldly. It’s worth a drive out to old Berdoo for dishes as good as this. (B.G.) 1760 S. Tippecanoe Ave., San Bernardino, (909) 799-1727. OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

Duck, which everyone should order at least once in a Chinese restaurant. (B.G.) 111 E. Hospitality Ln., San Bernardino, (909) 381-6171; www.lotusgardensanbernardino.com.

BEST BĀNH MI Baguette Express

All hail the Bånh Mi, the Vietnamese beauty that just may be the best damn sandwich on planet Earth. Typically they’ve got some Vietnamese cold cuts with some paté, cilantro, pickled vegetables and fish sauce, along with airier bread than normal in the West. Baguette Express serves up some rather flavorful versions of the Vietnamese classic and is quite worthy of winning our reader’s award. Fun fact: these classic little sandwiches are the result of the French imperialistic misadventure in Vietnam— they may be the only positive thing to come from French imperialism anywhere. (B.G.) 1689 Kendall Dr., Unit D, San Bernardino, (909) 887-2562.

drink it up! BEST COFFEE HOUSE BEST MEXICAN The Mexico Café

With all of the Mexican restaurants in the Inland Empire, winning this award is a bit like winning prettiest blonde girl in Sweden. People rave about the Purple Cadillac Margaritas, the chips made on site and the quick service. But I would say come for the dollar tacos. They’re slightly greasy, and salty but, truly yummy. Also worth a mention is their Mole de Galina, amongst the best mole I’ve ever eaten. (B.G.) 892 E. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, (909) 882-3000; www.mexicocafe.net.

BEST SOUL FOOD

Cassie’s Soul Food Kitchen

Soul food is the anti-sushi or Mexican fast food place; finding a decent soul food place in the IE can be tough. Our readers though know where to go when it comes to soul food. Cassie’s is located in the downtown arts area of Pomona and is a great place to eat. This is the place to get that Po Boy sandwich that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans, and that red beans and rice that takes you back to the Delta. And the banana pudding screams with a sugary, yet perfectly lovely malice, rarely heard in a dessert. (B.G.) 200 E. 1st St., Pomona, (909) 620-5601; www.cassiesoulfood.com.

BEST BEER SELECTION AT A RESTAURANT The Rookery

The Rookery prides themselves on their beer. No messin’ around here. Their draft beer selection changes regularly, and constantly has 13 or more delicious craft brews on tap at any given time. They also offer 15 or more craft bottled brews to choose from—AND a delicious menu of eats and treats to satisfy any craving; artful brews and cuisine that will leave your taste buds and belly happy. (A.B.) 117 W. 2nd St., Pomona, (909) 865-4400; www.rookeryalehouse.com.

Dripp Coffee Bar

By far, this is one of the most beautiful and tasty places to enjoy any beverage in the Empire. Dripp is a specialty coffee bar that takes the art of caffeine to a place of perfection. With fresh beans from Espresso Republic and a cozy blend of classical, old world and modern-styled atmosphere, this place is hipster heaven. (A.B.) 13855 City Center Dr., #3015, Chino Hills, (909) 628-6384; www.dripp.com.

Best Wine-Tasting Room The Dregs

The Dregs is a secret hole-in-the-wall wine and beer bar that is as talented and awesome as it is secretive. But, after you figure out how to get there and get in, this place won’t disappoint. Everyone is friendly, knowledgeable and with a constant stream of new wines and beer every time, the staff loves to pair you up with wines based on your personal preferences. It’s a speakeasy style place with high quality food and beverages, and an eye for the details. (A.B.) 721 Nevada St., Redlands, (951) 206-0888; thedregswine.com.

BEST COFFEE ROASTERS Espresso Republic

These roasters are some of the best around. They supply many of the hotels, high-end restaurants and specialty coffee houses (like Dripp), and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Espresso Republic is picky about their beans. Several times a year they visit their favorite coffee farms to check on current farming practices, soil conditions, rainfall and a handful of other factors that help their chosen beans become the best cup-of-joe you’ll ever have. De-lish. (A.B.) 4300 Edison Ave., Chino, (909) 465-4101; www.espressorepublic.com.

BEST SAKE LIST Amaya

This new Japanese restaurant at the Tyler Mall in Riverside not only has the best A.Y.C.E. sushi brunch around town, but their sake list is thorough. It has a helpful guide to help you pick based on taste (if you

don’t know too much about sake) and very knowledgeable wait staff that can help your sake choosing if you don’t feel like reading. A perfect atmosphere and a great sake selection to boot. (A.B.) 3775 Tyler St., 3B, Riverside, (951) 352-9991; amaya-riverside.com.

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wholesome health BEST VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT Happy Family Vege

Vegetarianism is often mistakenly lumped into the mind with words relating to limitations or restrictions. The Happy Family restaurant is rewriting the book on being a veg-head, making sure to highlight the “vegetarian food can be unbearably flavorful” headline. With an applaud-worthy menu decorated in too many tasty options, it will be hard for visitors to get through all the five star meals, but we think you can do it. (K.J.) 2150 S. Waterman Ave., San Bernardino, (909) 783-8928; www.happyfamilyvege.com.

BEST VEGAN RESTAURANT Loving Hut

The Loving Hut is one of the fastest growing vegan chain restaurants in the world, with international branches in Tokyo, Hong Kong and Singapore. Its Claremont location was the first in the U.S. and its plant-based menu is a fusion of Asian and American classics: serving up pizzas, pastas, sandwiches, salads, dumplings and more to customers. Loving Hut aims to be affordable for its quality and also serves up many gluten-free options. Let’s not forget all of the yummy dessert items available on the menu, making the transition to a plant-based diet tastier to make than ever. (A.S.) 175 N. Indian Hill Blvd., Ste. 102A, Claremont, (909) 621-1668; lovinghut.us/Claremont.

BEST HEALTH FOOD STORE Sprouts

With many health food stores soaring in popularity, it is easy to feel out of place

when shopping at an exclusive and highend establishment. What makes Sprouts special is that it offers the same type of quality and nutritious products without making you feel like a fish out of water. The customer service is what truly makes any Sprouts location stand out, with knowledgeable and helpful staff to help you roam through the aisles of grains and nuts, fresh produce, glutenfree products and vitamins. (A.S.) Locations in Claremont, Chino Hills, Rancho Cucamonga, Corona, Hemet, Riverside; Sprouts.com

BEST ALTERNATIVE BAKERY Muffin Top Bakery

The idea of a muffin top never sounded good, until you step foot inside the Muffin Top Bakery in Riverside. Master baker Emile Maamri and sister Rosette Shabke started the business in 1982, priding themselves on quality pastries, danishes, cakes and of course, muffins made from scratch. Muffin Top Bakery offers made sugarless and gluten-free products, many without eggs or milk, providing a guilt-free (or vegan), low cholesterol, sweet experience. Friendly service from this family-owned bakery will keep you coming back to try their wide selection of treats, such as the vegan Oreo cupcake. Side note, they also bake gluten-free cakes! (A.S.) 1735 Spruce St., Riverside, (951) 222-0377; muffintopbakery.com.

BEST RAW FOOD RESTAURANT REAL RAW LIVE

Real Raw Live Redlands is making waves with its Super Foods Juice Bar, offering up organic cold-pressed juices alongside wellness shots, liquid breakfasts and fatburning lemonade. The internet café also offers more traditional salads and wraps, but you should come here for the quality of their nutritious yet tasty liquid meals. Real Raw Live offers supplements and enhancers to their juices to ensure that customers are getting the highest quality products. (A.S.) 12 N. 6th St., Redlands, (909) 7984100; www.rrlredlands.com.

BEST FARMER’S MARKET Redland’s Market Night

Since 1988, Redlands Market Night has been a one-stop-shop for locals interested in the various amenities local sellers provide. It’s one of the most successful in all of Southern California, this weekly farmer’s market brings in locals, by the thousands, all vying for the latest seasonal berry or beautifully cut homegrown bouquet. Let’s not even get on the topic of the fresh loafs of bread or the best homemade jerky you’ve ever tasted, just set aside a Thursday evening and try not to salivate as you walk the aisles. (K.J.) State St. between Orange and Ninth. Every Thurs. 6pm-9pm; www.cityofredlands.org.

gym BEST FITNESS GYM UFC G ym

Located in Corona Hills Plaza just off the 91 Freeway and McKinley, this massive fitness facility is conveniently open 24 hours a day. It was opened in the city of Corona in May, 2011, and is home to over an acre of a diverse collection of weights, cardio vascular training machines and other exercise equipment to get you ripped, pumped up and in shape. UFC Gym is family oriented, and is full of trainers and instructors offering various classes and programs, some even aimed at youth fitness. The UFC Gym also has a sauna, full amenity locker room facilities, and a retail gym store. (A.D.) 470 N. McKinley St., Corona, (951) 808-3850.

BEST BIKRAM YOGA The Yoga Room

With an emphasis on many different levels and forms of yoga, everyone from beginners to experts will find something at The yoga Room to fit their yoga needs. This studio tends to focus on a fairly modern variation of yoga known as Bikram Yoga which is practiced in rooms heated to 105 degrees, for 90 minute sessions, which are made up of the same 26 postures and two breathing exercises. Although similar to traditional Yoga, many find that the heat, intensity and sometimes strictness of instructors can be challenging and overwhelming. Others insist that this offers a stronger spiritual emotional discipline, and helps with weight loss, stress management, detoxing of the body and preventing and healing of injuries. The Yoga Room also offers classes online for your convenience. The Yoga Room is family owned, by Daniel and Shawna Head, longtime Redlands residents. (A.D.) 721 Nevada St., Redlands, (909) 335-9642; www.redlandsyoga.com.

BEST NON-BIKRAM YOGA Green Tara Yoga

For a more traditional and simple and approach to all aspects of the practice of yoga, Green Tara Yoga in Upland offers the IE community a place to relax, learn to breathe and incorporate techniques commonly used in yoga to develop better flexibility, stamina and spiritual and physical well being. Opened in 2006, this yoga studio is run and owned a group of independent yoga instructors who united to offer more yoga workshops than any other yoga studio in the region. With over a dozen professionally trained and certified yoga teachers, Green Tara Yoga gives yoga students an intimate and uplifting environment where people can work at their own pace, to explore the many spiritual, mental and physical benefits of practicing yoga. (A.D.) 1202 Monte Vista Ave., Suite 9, Upland, (909) 827-9915; www.greentarayoga.org.

BEST CROSSFIT UFC G ym

CrossFit Training is a style of working out that combines weight lifting, aerobic exercise, gymnastics and body weight exercises. It is a fitness program that is based on building up stamina and strength

training conditioning. CrossFit workout sessions are normally around 30 minutes or less. But they are intense, mixing it up with stretching, gymnastics, cardio and weights. UFC is the perfect gym for these types of training sessions. It offers more than 40 classes in group sessions, ranging from Boxing Skills and Cardio Dance Grooves to X-Treme Latin Cardio and Total Core Crunch. Not to mention a full staff of fitness experts and personal trainers to help with all of your CrossFit training needs and questions. (A.D.) 470 N. McKinley St., Corona, (951) 808-3850.

BEST TRAINER Lindy Washburn

Lindy Washburn is a personal trainer at Kaia Functional Intense Training (FIT) in Redlands. But, this is no ordinary gym. Kaia’s philosophy when it comes to women’s fitness is centered on working in a team atmosphere, where women help each other accomplish physical fitness goals. Kaia’s location in Redlands offers personal training as well as other option, when it comes to routines and programs to get in shape. The six-week boot camp sessions are all about strength training and conditioning—and Lindy will work you hard! Whether you are an athlete, want to tone up or lose weight, burn fat or maintain a healthy lifestyle, Lindy at Kaia FIT is the perfect place to meet your fitness goals. (A.D.) 700 E. Redlands, Suite U-173, Redlands, (775) 841-2300; www.kaiafit.com.

outdoorsy BEST HIKING Mt. Baldy

Nestled in the San Gabriel Mountains, between the 15 and 210 Freeways, is the community of Mt. Baldy, an unincorporated part of San Bernardino County just 12 miles north of Ontario. This literal mountain town is home to Mt. San Antonio, which is the highest point in the SGM range with an elevation of 10, 064 feet. Hikers have four main options when it comes to routes to the top. Each of the four trails is between 8 to 13 miles round trip, with the elevation rising between 3,600 feet to 6,000 feet. On one of the trails, a ski lift can be taken part of the way up the summit. The top of the mountain offers great sights of Southern California from up high, especially on clear days. It is known for its amazing panoramic views of our vast landscape: from the desserts, cities and the Pacific Ocean. (A.D.) www.mtbaldyskilifts.com.

BEST MINI-GOLF Boomers

This chain of family fun centers includes go kart racing, bumper boats, a batting cage and rock wall and most importantly, minigolf, where people of all ages can practice their putting skills on beautiful and exciting green obstacles. Boomers also offers a new and fun approach to mini golf: playing at night. Known as “Cosmic Golf,” it is played in a completely dark room with only neon lights. Boomers will be sure to please minigolf fans of all ages. Whether its indoor or outdoor, there is plenty of miniature fun to be had here. (A.D.) Locations in Upland and Palm Springs, (909) 946-1567. www.boomersparks.com.

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BEST PLACE TO SKATE Riverside Hunt Park

This skate park is just located near the transition of the 91 and 15 Freeways. It is open to all skateboarders, BMX bikers and scooter riders daily from 7am to 9pm. The skate park offers a wide variety of ramps, stairs, rails, pyramids and ledges as well as a small simulated street area to freely ride. You can tell the place is popular among youth, since most days the park is frequented by younger skaters or beginners, but it is open to skaters of all ages and levels. The skate park has restrooms and lights and there is no charge to get in but helmets and other safety gear is required. (A.D.) 4027 Jackson St., Riverside, (951) 351-6132.

BEST CAMPING Joshua Tree

Whether you love stargazing at night, sleeping in tents in the wilderness or hiking all day among nature, Joshua Tree National Park contains nine campgrounds, which are all open year round. Each campsite can accommodate two cars, two tents and up to six people. Group camp site capacity ranges from 10 to 70 people. The park is known for its fascinating rock formations, diverse variety of vegetation, and wildlife and extremely hot summers and mostly mild winter, with some rain in the fall and winter seasons mostly, though not too often. Joshua Tree National Park covers a whopping 792,000 acres, with 630,800 designated as wilderness, which makes it a perfect place for camping on site or even, where designated, in the back country. (A.D.) www.joshua.tree.national-park.com.

BEST PAINTBALL SC Village

Located in Corona, between the 71 and 15 Freeways, SC Village is home to a 100 acre property specifically made for the sport of paintballing. With 25 outdoor simulated areas for action packed, paintball gun war games, SC Village prides itself on offering equipment rentals, a helpful staff there to ensure everyone has a fun, fair and exciting time, whether you’re a beginner or an expert paintball gun master. (A.D.) 8900 McCarty Rd., Corona, (949)489-9000; www.scvillage.com.

BEST PLAYG ROUND Fairmont Park

The playground at Fairmont Park in Riverside is easily accessible for children of all ages and physical abilities. It was built on the notion that all kids should be able to have fun within the playground and use the equipment, even children with disabilities. It is wheelchair friendly, provides a sensory for certain disabled children that they can experience by dance chimes in the floor, drums and sensory walls. The playground equipment was also custom designed to encourage creative interactive play. When the temperatures rise in the summer, the playground also has water-play features, which give guests a much needed opportunity to cool off when it gets too hot. Paved walks give visitors a pathway from the new parking lot adjacent to Fairmount Lake where there is also small fishing and paddle boats. (A.D.) 2241 Market St., Riverside.

BEST OFF-ROADING

BEST BIKE PATH Pacific Electric Trail

This trail, which also accommodates pedestrians and hikers, starts near the Los Angeles County Line in Claremont and connects along a 21 mile stretch with the cities of Montclair, Fontana, Rialto, Upland and Rancho Cucamonga. The trail allows for cyclists, pedestrians, runners and others on non motorized vehicles to enjoy the outdoors, get exercise and/or travel between cities on a common path. The Pacific Electric Trail was named after the route of the historic Pacifc Electric Railway, which was famous for its red train cars that traveled all across the West Coast through to Los Angeles before going inland to San Bernardino. The railway’s expansion ended in the 1950s with the construction of L.A.’s elaborate system of urban and rural freeways. (A.D.) www.cityofrc.us/cityhall/cs/parks/ trails/pet/.

BEST BIKE SHOP Coates Cyclery

This is more than just an average bicycle shop. It is a family run and owned business, and has been since 1934. Coates Cyclery features an impressive 6,000 square feet of space with tons of bike parts, accessories, and tools and over 200 ready to ride bikes on display, making it the largest independent bicycle shop of its kind in the Inland Empire. This is a store that prides itself not just on customer service but customer satisfaction. The store offers a wide selection of bikes ranging from mountain bikes, cruisers, road bikes and even hybrids, whatever type of cyclist you are, this store has something for everyone. (A.D.) 760 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, (909) 624-0612; www.coatescyclery.com.

BEST SNOWBOARDING/SKI SHOP S&S Ride Shop

Originally opened in 1969, this family owned establishment was first called Riverside Ski & Sport. Today, known as S&S Ride Shop, the storefront contains everything you need if you are into skateboarding & snowboarding. Aside from the boards themselves, the store is also stocked with a large selection of fashionable clothing, apparel, shoes, safety gear and accessories. S&S is known to be one of the most knowledgeable and established independent skate/snowboard shops with a heartfelt approach to customer service. With the motto “For Riders, By Riders,” S&S can provide one of a kind service, advice and wisdom on anything that has to do with skateboarding or snowboarding. (A.D.) 7000 Indiana Ave. Suite 110, Riverside, (888) 930-6290; www.ssrideshop.com.

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T w R i h h T a v Big Bear Trails O The region near Big Bear Mountain and a the greater San Bernardino National Forest T are known to be amazing areas for off road o adventures. Big Bear is full of dozens upon i dozens of trails and areas made for off- C roading. Cactus Flats is a good example of o this. It is off of Highway 18, north of Big o Bear and south of Lucerne Valley. It has a t wide assortment of off-road trails that are t clearly marked and strictly enforced, for w everyone’s safety and enjoyment. Be sure to check for local weather conditions and requirements for your vehicles prior to your trip. But don’t feel bad if you don’t own your own 4X4 off-road vehicle. Big Bear will make sure you don’t miss out. Big I Bear Jeep Tours allows passengers, and an s experienced driver to take tours of majestic h mountainsides and more, in a completely c off-road setting. An added benefit of these s tour guides doing all the driving is that f these off-road adventures are for the most t part offered around the year. (A.D.) f www.big-bear-cabins.com. m s o h b Lake Perris a Lake Perris is the perfect destination for boating and fishing year round. It is roughly 10 miles from Riverside off the 60 or 215 Freeways. The lake is two miles across and three miles long with an elevation of 1,560 feet. Lake Perris has an eco system that supports and produces a variety of fish, which make for good fishing. The lake is regularly replenished with Rainbow Trout and several varieties of bass, by The Department of Fish and Game. Other species of fish in the lake include the Carp, Channel Catfish and Bull Catfish, Red Ear Sunfish, Bluegill and many more. All individuals fishing over the age of 16 must purchase a license from the Deptartment of R Fish and Wildlife. (A.D.) b 17801 Lake Perris Dr., Perris, s (916) 928-5805; www.parks.ca.gov. e s t i The Cove If you think The Cove is just another p local pool or ordinary water park, think r again. Sure, The Cove offers swimming a classes for kids, private pools for a birthdays/parties and training courses d for lifeguards year round. But, what i makes this state-of-the-art water park so t special is the aquatic pirate themed rides s and attractions; like a lazy river known 9 as The Ne’er Ending River, the Riptide (

BEST natural place TO SWIM

BEST water park

Reef FlowRider (a wave simulator) and the 180-foot winding and twisting Crow’s Nest Slide. This exciting water park will ensure that everyone in your family has fun, from adults and seniors, to teenagers and toddlers. (A.D.) B 4310 Camino Real, Riverside, R (951) 360-1974; www.covewaterpark.org. s

BEST OUTDOOR ROCK CLIMBING Joshua Tree

This iconic, federally protected landmark, which is a national park that lies between Riverside and San Bernardino County lines, is known for its amazing wild life, ancient history, camping, mountain bike trails, hiking paths and outdoor rock climbing. There are more than 8,000 climbing routes and 400 climbing formations in Joshua tree varying in level of difficulty and ability. Other activities include bolt climbing, and high lining/slack lining. Joshua Tree National Park is an immense piece of nature, covering nearly 800,000 acres in a region where the Mojave Desert and Colorado Desert merge together. Because of its natural topography and abundance of rocks, Joshua tree attracts tens of thousands of rock climbers from around the world. (A.D.) www.nps.gov/jotr/index.htm

BEST PLACE TO SEE WILD LIFE Mt. Baldy

In addition to the huge array of activities such as hiking and camping, Mt. Baldy, is home to the obvious animals one might find common in such terrains: small rodents such as rabbits, raccoons and squirrels, foxes, skunks, crows and other various types of birds, insects, and small snakes, frogs, toads and lizards. But, in the higher more remote regions, people have reported sightings of Bighorn Sheep who call parts of the mountainous higher altitude region home. Other animals that are rarely seen by humans include mountain lions, bobcats and black bears. (A.D.)

BEST SHOOTING RANGE Rancho Magnum Range

Rancho Magnum Range is a family owned business, providing great customer service and gun knowledge to all fire arm enthusiasts. Whether it’s your first time shooting a gun or your one-hundredth time, the staff is friendly and extremely informative. They thoroughly explain proper gun etiquette, provide safety and reassurance for all guest at RMR. Offering an array of fire arms and ammunition at a reasonable price (as well as targets for a dollar a piece), RMR is a great place to get in some shooting practice knowing that the staff is at hand to offer great customer service and knowledge. (V.B.) 9049 9th St., Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 987-1299. www.ranchomagnum.com.

Inland Empire Derby Divas are our token Derby team here in the Inland Empire. Welcoming women from all walks of life and all shapes and sizes, this diverse team works hard and is committed to making roller derby a celebrated sport. While the concept of roller derby isn’t widely known, the Inland Empire Derby Divas have provided information on their website which thoroughly explains the game. If you haven’t already, check out and support our local derby teams or sign up to become a member. (V.B.) iederbydivas.com.

BEST LOCAL SPORTS TEAM Rancho Cucamonga Quakes

Since residing in Rancho Cucamonga in 1993, the Quakes, along with their mascot Tremor, have been notably cherished by IE locals. In its first five years the Quakes stadium had two million fans pass through its gates and was named by Baseball America Magazine; the Class-A winner of the prestigious Bob Freitas award for franchise excellence. With the Los Angeles Dodgers as their third affiliate of the major league, popularity for the Quakes has been increasing with each passing year. Offering affordable prices for quality baseball, there is no doubt that The Quakes are indeed the best. (V.B.) 8408 Rochester Ave., Rancho Cucamonga (909) 481-5000.

complete with a personal pepperoni pizza. Drinks and food are well priced considering the cheap bowling rates. With billiards and an arcade, Brunswick has something for all members of the family, as well as a full bar for mom and dad. With a commitment to customer service like no other, Brunswick Zone is definitely the Inland Empire’s best place to bowl. (V.B.) www.bowlbrunswick.com.

the spot to visit. Membership prices are cheaper than most climbing gyms in the area and both members and staff are extremely supportive and friendly. (V.B.) www.climbhangar18.com.

BEST INDOOR ROCK CLIMBING Hangar 18

With locations in Upland and Riverside, Hangar 18 offers an array of fitness classes including yoga, cross fit, boot camp and self-defense. With over 35,000 square feet of climbing space and routes up to 70 feet long, you are destined to get ripped training at this gym. Said to be the biggest indoor climbing gym in the Inland Empire, climbers are given a variety with frequently changing routes. If you are looking to become a better climber or just better yourself physically, Hangar 18 is

BEST BOWLING ALLEY Brunswick Zone

Well maintained with a friendly and attentive staff, Brunswick has six locations in the Inland Empire offering “All You Can Bowl” specials for only $7 from 9pm-closing. Specials for students K-12 include an “All You Can Bowl” rate from 2pm-5:30pm for $8.99,

FAVORITE LOCAL NONTRADITIONAL SPORT Roller Derby

Being predominantly played by women, Roller Derby is an exhilarating contact sport done with a dash of class. The OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

tip your server HOTTEST COFFEE DUDE

Zack Strunk, Stell Coffee & Tea

Stell Coffee & Tea in Redlands is known for their freshly ground coffee, gluten-free deli sandwiches and a variety of beers for noncoffee drinkers. With a menu this great, what could be more appealing about this place? Sometimes what’s off the menu is more alluring, and we’ve come to find out that barista Zack Strunk fits the bill. Handsome guys with great attitudes are hard to come by, so when you get the chance some early morning, visit Strunk during his shift at Stell to see what all the fuss is about. (V.B.) 1580 Barton Rd., Redlands, (909) 792-4700.

CUTEST BARISTA CHICK

BEST WAITRESS

Shaina Turian, Eureka! Burger

Dripp is an adorable, retro coffee bar and ice cream parlor in Chino Hills; popular amongst locals for their delicious ice cream sandwiches and coffee beverages. Working behind the counter at Dripp is barista Samantha Ortega Jacinto; sleek brown hair, fair skin and a smile that’ll knock any guy to his knees. With a unique face, radiating with joy and charisma, Samantha fits in perfectly with the retro vibe of Dripp. Her cuteness and kindness are inviting, and makes anyone’s visit to her coffee bar worthwhile. (V.B.) 13855 City Center Dr., #3015, Chino Hills, (909) 628-6384; dripp.com.

BEST CHEF

BEST BUSSER

Zachary Morrison, Olive Avenue Market

Some of the best flavors in the Inland Empire come out of Olive Avenue Market, popular for their breakfast food, sandwiches and pastries. With Zacchary Morrison as chef, creations here are loved by locals as well as folks who are just passing through. With homemade food and fresh ingredients, Morrison’s creations are a healthy and simple alternative to your typical restaurant or market. The Chicken and Broccoli Casserole is a guest favorite, as are the Avocado, Egg and Bacon Breakfast Tacos. As a historic Redlands landmark, this is one place worth visiting, with an exceptional chef to boot. (V.B.) 530 W. Olive Ave., Redlands, (909) 792-8823; oliveavenuemarket.com.

BEST BARTENDER

Tarae McCarver, Liam’s Irish Pub

Liam’s Irish Pub seems to be one of the Inland Empire’s most adored pubs. Offering great appetizers and a good selection on tap, this snug little pub is great for hanging out. Bartender Tarae McCarver offers up lightningfast service even on the busiest nights, McCarver consistently greets customers with a warm welcome and great attitude. Being a bartender is not easy and to have such a positive demeanor under so much pressure definitely deserves recognition. If you are ever in the neighborhood, visit Tarae for some great service to go along with a delicious cold brew. (V.B.) 1089 S. Mount Vernon Ave., Colton, (909) 422-9900; liamsirishpub.com. IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

With a French-American theme, The Lounge 22 has gone to great lengths to ensure that guests are comfortable and well informed. As a certified sommelier, Wilson Turley is a key element in ensuring that guests have what they need when visiting The Lounge. Turley’s knowledge is extensive in both wines and beers, which is great for those unsure of what to order with their meals. Being a fairly new restaurant, The Lounge 22 is impressive, and having a well-trained sommelier makes it that much better; offering guests a great menu, while also expanding their knowledge on good wine and local craft beers. (V.B.) 22 E. Vine St., Redlands, (909) 793-1593; thelounge22.com.

If you love crazy creations like sweet potato fries, fig marmalade or jalapeno fried egg burgers and a waitress worth more than a gold rush, Eureka! Burger is the establishment for your entire family. Shainia Turian gets the most votes for her friendly charm, speedy service and knowing the menu more than Niels Bohr knew an electron. This is saying something, considering the sheer magnitude of ingredients there are to choose from. Thanks to Turian and the cooking her hamburger haven is known for, Eureka! Burger is a genuine sapphire in Redlands’ culinary crown. (J.D.) 345 W. Pearl Ave. #130, Redlands, (909) 335-5700; www.eurekarestaurantgroup.com.

Samantha Jacinto, Dripp Coffee Bar

BEST SOMMELIER

Wilson Turley, The Lounge 22

Mark Dunham, Redlands Underground

A busser is either your ally or your enemy, capable of crushing your good time with an impact slightly similar to Thor’s hammer. Thankfully Mark Dunham, the most badass busser ever to stalk The Underground, is on your side. When bottles pile up and glasses start to clutter your table faster than you can knock your shots back, Dunham does the dangerous deed of gathering all of those dead men before somebody gets hurt. With a scintillating selection of beers, a truly legendary jukebox and a capable array of friendly bartenders, The Underground is a fine bar and affordable entertainment. (J.D.) 19 E. Citrus Ave., Redlands, (909) 798-1500; www.redlandsunderground.com.

city living BEST CITY Redlands

Historically famous for its sprawling groves of orange trees, gorgeous, sunny weather and more than a dozen beautiful public parks, Redlands also boasts one of the finest institutions in Southern California, the University of Redlands. Because of the college town atmosphere there is an atmosphere of celebration that intensifies after finals, but we can all benefit from the bars, restaurants, coffee shops, clubs and pool halls Redlands has for responsible youth to properly enjoy. Despite being more than a hundred years old, this city is still on the cutting edge of cool, and Southern

California benefits from it. (J.D.) (909) 798-7500; www.cityofredlands.org.

BEST DOWNTOWN Downtown Redlands

We live in an age of dilapidated strip malls and destitute places of entertainment, despite the fact that after a hard week’s work we just want our right to party. Thanks to the combination of college kids and an art and music scene better than anything in L.A., Downtown Redlands is where it’s at for playing billiards, eviscerating victuals or just sampling the libations. Replete with many square blocks of privately owned, thriving local businesses, shops that won’t bore you and dozens of unique, legendary bars that will awe you, this downtown is where your next fun time should be. (J.D.) 1 State St., Redlands, (909) 798-7629; www.cityofredlands.org/Downtown.

BEST BLOG

Brick to Ya Face

More than a blog and beyond a website, www.bricktoyaface.com is the place for finding shining new talent of every type from spoken word performers, hip-hop musicians, stand up comics to DJs that spin, program or just rave. In the past Brick to Ya Face has masterminded successful productions such as D.I.Y. and Shut the F#ck Up!, but the best part are interviews with new and veteran artists including J-Bizness, Curtiss King and Dre Biggity. Don’t miss Common Ground every Sunday at The Vibe in Riverside, it’s the reason Brick to Ya Face is the best booker in the business. (J.D.) www.bricktoyaface.com

BEST CELEBRITY SPOTTING The Glass House

Free parking, convenient location and billions of bodacious bands guarantee the stars will always shine in or around the venue known as The Glass House, located in the thriving metropolis of Pomona. The list of groups that have played here is long including Skinny Puppy, KMFDM, The Horrors, Social Distortion, Minus the Bear, The Doves and VNV Nation, to name just a scarce few. These celebrities usually like to keep it low-key when they socialize before their performance, so pay attention by the bars and record stores near The Glass House . . . someone famous might be revving themselves up for the show. (J.D.) 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 8653802; www.theglasshouse.us.

BEST OUTDOOR WEDDING SPOT Falkner Winery

If you are going to get married, do it someplace wonderful like the Falkner Winery. Located in the majestic natural landscape of Temecula, this is the place to tell your loved one you’ll stay with them forever, after sampling as many of the fine vintages you can enjoy at this wine enthusiast’s paradise (including their own home-grown Bordeaux Style Red Wine, “The Meritage.”) The Pinnacle is available for fine dining, gourmet-style and the prices won’t make you want to run away and elope. Classes, tours and tastings are also

available, so don’t wait until your dating days are over before you visit. (J.D.) 40620 Calle Contento, Temecula, (951) 676-8231; www.falknerwinery.com.

BEST GARDEN TOURS Rancho Santa Ana Botanic Gardens

If you haven’t toured a garden, you don’t know what it’s like to be Adam. Take a date to the Rancho Santa Ana Botanic Gardens and they just might fall in love because this place has 6,000+ native plants, flowers, trees, shrubs and other California flora to help everyone get back to nature. Located in Claremont, this privately-funded, non-profit Eden offers classes, guided tours, a grownative nursery and a plethora of events for the botanist in all of us. (J.D.) 1500 N. College Ave., Claremont, (909) 625-8767; www.rsabg.org.

BEST HOTEL TO SNEAK A SWIM IN The Mission Inn

More than a hotel, far from just a collection of restaurants, world famous for nearly a hundred years, The Mission Inn is where royalty ventures to wine, dine and rest wealthy. What’s great for the rest of us is that this California landmark is spacious enough to roam in without getting arrested as long as you are polite about it. Be confident, strip to a swimsuit, order something at the bar and hang out by the pool. Jumping in will eventually seem natural, especially after enough margaritas from Las Campanas or an exceptional vintage from 54 Degrees at Duane’s. (J.D.) 3649 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, (888) 447-9943; www.themissioninn.com.

a public display of community pride and local entrepreneurs. Aside from incredible selections of street food there are also a few contests, like the Model Car contest, if you prefer your vehicles tiny yet terrific. (J.D.) 1955 S. Hunts Ln., San Bernardino, (909) 891-1151; www.route-66.org.

BEST POOL HALL

Stix Billiards Sports Bar & Grill

Rancho Cucamonga has a pool playing culture that is as fierce as it is unsung, and Stix Billiards Sports Bar & Grill is the place to either bring your best game or improve the way you play. More than 25 pool tables of various lengths and widths are here to entertain you, as well as a great selection of beers, a rich selection of American bar food (including a Stix Burger that’s done just right) and tournaments and events to either watch or compete in. This pretty pool place has class, so don’t be afraid to bring a date. (J.D.) 7985 Vineyard Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 989-5020; www.mystixbilliards.com.

BEST WI-FI FRIENDLY PLACE Home Gardens Library

Open all day to the public with plenty of open seating, a calm, studious atmosphere and flowing free Wi-Fi for all, the Riverside County Home Gardens Library is a paradise of learning in a natural setting similar to a Disney flick with blue skies, puffy white clouds and rolling hills of lush, emerald grass. But if you have to stay in and study, the better your internet the faster you’ll be done, which is why this place is the

prime location for cheap, reliable service. Mondays and Tuesdays are your best days, since the library is open until 8pm. (J.D.) 3785 Neece St., Corona (951) 279-2148; www.rivlib.info/home-gardens-library.

BEST COMIC BOOK STORE A Shop Called Quest

If your daily dose of adventure doesn’t include a tantalizing trip to a comic book shop, your courage has no mettle, sirs and madams. Fortunately for every traveler, Claremont’s own A Shop Called Quest is here for all to enjoy. This place has classics like old-skool Judge Dredd (back when 2000 AD seemed futuristic) and popular heroes (Spider-Man, Thor, Superman, Captain America, Batman, et al.), plus t-shirts, movie posters, costumed crime-fighter paraphernalia and more. This place is perfect for any traveler thanks to its convenient downtown location and Wednesday is Comic Book Day, you haven’t lived until you’ve bought an issue to celebrate. (J.D.) 101 N. Indian Hill Blvd., Claremont, (909) 624-1829; www.ashopcalledquest.com.

BEST TATTOO STUDIO Empire Tattoo, Upland

For more than 20 years the alternative, outlaw, adventurous, experimental or straight-up hardcore have ended up at Empire Tattoo to get ink. When it’s time to make such a serious, life-enhancing decision, go to the experts at Empire Tatoo, where people know how to permanently etch and dye bleeding flesh. Now that I’ve scared you, rest easy knowing that

BEST NON-WORK PLACE FOR DOING YOUR COMPUTER WORK Dripp Coffee Bar

Some coffee chains aren’t conducive to a studying environment, especially if they have spotty Internet service and an interior that resembles a federal penitentiary. Dripp Coffee Bar’s spacious interior is replete with industrial aesthetics, vintage designs, meditative atmosphere and plenty of seating for the whole classroom. This company knows how to appeal to hard-studying students by offering flowing free Wi-Fi and a menu that includes custom-crafted blends from around the globe, genuine Turkish coffee (it’s the Guinness Stout of java), a massive selection of teas, and deliciously delectable ice creams when all of that learning has left you feeling down. (J.D.) 13855 City Center Dr. #3015, Chino Hills, (909) 628-6384; www.dripp.com.

BEST CAR SHOW Route 66 Rendezvous

In 1990, the San Bernardino Convention & Visitors Bureau decreed that the City of San Bernardino needed a completely cool car show, because that’s what Route 66 Rendezvous is; completely cool. The annual Route 66 Rendezvous is more than just a reason to admire miles of gleaming, beautiful automobiles containing gorgeous engines that gleam with barely constrained mechanical horsepower; it’s OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

the friendly experts at Empire Tattoo are experts who know how to sterilize and clean as well as inform, so ask as many questions as it takes to choose the right tattoo for you. (J.D.) 2176 W. Foothill Blvd., Upland, (909) 985-8889; www.empire-tattoo.com.

the world of contemporary art. They also offer classes to children and adults who feel the need to have the skills to create, so show up if you want to look or learn. (J.D.) 3425 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, (951) 684-7111; www.riversideartmuseum.org.

BEST PLACE TO GET A PIERCING/BODY MODIFICATION

services

Laughing Buddha Body Piercing If you are going to pay someone to punch a hole into you and insert something that isn’t biological, you don’t want to go to a filthy back alley where if it isn’t rusty, it’s crusty. Laughing Buddha Body Piercing is the clean, professional location for every type of cosmetic alteration you require. The people who work here are skilled surgeons, ready to assist you when it comes to the decision, the installation and the not-to-be neglected after care. Their website also has an online store if you like to look or buy something pretty to have firmly attached later. (J.D.) 2176 W. Foothill Blvd., Upland, (909) 981-2877; www.laughingbuddhatattoo.com.

BEST UNIVERSITY/COLLEGE California State University, San Bernardino

The primary reason why San Bernardino is one of the coolest college towns around, CSUSB has a diverse student body comprised of races, colors, creeds and socioeconomic backgrounds which truly represent California. Many of the state’s leaders, lawyers and business successes got their start at CSUSB, and with a tuition that’s realistically affordable everyone can make it. (J.D.) 5500 University Pkwy., San Bernardino, (909) 537-5000; www.csusb.edu.

BEST MUSEUM

Riverside Art Museum

We could all use a philosophical infusion of artistic appreciation, so when you need culture the Riverside Art Museum is here for you, offering exhibitions that include inventive photography, stimulating video, modern sculpture and painting in every style that can be put to canvas or otherwise. Students here are trained to have solid skills as well as vision, which is why the museum leads the lineage in

BEST DAY SPA

Glen Ivy Hot Springs

The therapeutic waters beneath the Santa Ana Mountains, which first attracted visitors in the gold rush days, have operated as the Glen Ivy Hot Springs since the 1880s. Glen Ivy today boasts an extensive complex of pools, botanical gardens and mineral baths, and its spa treatments include the red-clay Club Mud, the Lomi Lomi “Loving Hands” massage and a fullbody moisturizing treatment known as The Grotto. Cabaña rentals and a Mediterranean café make it easy to spend an entire day here. (D.J.) 25000 Glen Ivy Rd., Corona, (888) GLEN-IVY; www.glenivy.com.

BEST TANNING SALON HB Mobile Tanning

As a former lifeguard, Heather Blunk always appreciated a good tan, but a precancerous lesion taught her firsthand about sunbathing risks. She initially turned to spray tanning for health reasons, but the results ignited a passion that led to HB Mobile Tanning. Lesser companies have left tanners looking like John Boehner at a Syracuse game, but Heather always uses top products and just the right amount of spray for naturallooking color. Gather friends for a spray tan party as it helps drop the price. (D.J.) Riverside, (909) 576-2416; www.hbmobiletanning.com.

BEST HAIR EXTENSIONS

Shear Vault Hair Studio

If you’re a beauty buff, your style changes with the seasons, hair, makeup and clothes. You may be able to buy new outfits and new makeup, but sometimes waiting for that hair to grow—for a particular style—is just not an option. Shear Vault Hair Studio is ready to help in this department. Nancy Britton’s experienced team of professional hairstylists can help style any trendy cuts or styles, and match any length you need. The salon is a certified provider for Donna Bella

hair extensions and hair-straightening Brazilian Blowout treatments. Come on, get your hair did. (A.B.) 2218 Golden Ave., San Bernardino, (909) 474-9336; www.shearvault.com.

BEST WAXING The Wax Lounge

The extensive service menu includes wacky waxes like the “Pre-Sex & the City,” the “Feel’n a Lil Frenchy Ooh-La-La” and the “Pink Cheeks Booty Cleansing Facial”, but there’s no guessing what the “BlingKini” Vajazzling entails. The Wax Lounge even caters to men who need a little work around their “Seabiscuit” (their word, not ours). The “Manzilian Bikini Wax” deforests the entire male genitalia—yes, including those—for a “breathtaking” sight Dr. Evil endorsed in Austin Powers. The Wax Lounge does it all, but we recommend skipping the Facebook update about your Manzilian. (D.J.) 6338 Brockton Ave., Riverside, (951) 323-1011; www.waxlounge.net.

BEST HAIR SALON Shear Vault Hair Studio

Nancy Britton’s popular hair studio is ready to meet any styling need. Her experienced team of professional hairstylists can recommend trendy cuts, treat damaged hair and provide superior waxing and hair coloring services. The hairstylists also know how to listen when customers already know the cut they want. The salon is a certified provider for Donna Bella hair extensions and hair-straightening Brazilian Blowout treatments. (D.J.) 2218 Golden Ave., San Bernardino, (909) 474-9336; www.shearvault.com.

BEST PLACE FOR A MASSAGE Massage Envy, Ontario

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Rancho Cucamonga Animal Shelter

The staff at this shelter go above and beyond to help as many animals as they can, and with a smile. They make the animals the top priority, the facilities are clean, and everyone is professional. They even offer a “$5 Feline Friday,” amongst other deals and incentives to promote adoptions. They are really busy and often short-handed on staff, but for the amount of things the ladies at the shelter are willing to accomplish and take on, they are rocking it. (A.B.) 11780 Arrow Rte., Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 466-7387; www.rcpets.info.

BEST LOCAL CHARITY ORGANIZATION

Childhood Cancer Foundation of Southern California (CCFC)

An active cancer research and resource organization, CCFC started in 1979, and has been the best non-profit charity organization in the IE, ever since. Formerly known as Candlelighters of the Inland Empire, Childhood Cancer Foundation of Southern California, Inc. is an organization of parents and friends who have, or have had, children with cancer. They are committed to supporting the families emotionally so that they feel less isolated, frustrated and fearful in dealing with the problems that cancer can manifest within the family structure. They also host events to aid in relationshipbuilding, funding and progress in cancer research. (A.B.) www.ccfsocal.org.

BEST PLACE TO LEARN

THE ART OF BURLESQUE Embody Pole Fitness

Massage Envy is a national chain with 16 Inland Empire spas, but the Ontario location tops our list. The clinic offers popular massage therapies like Swedish, Deep Tissue, Reflexology and Prenatal as well as more specialized treatments like Trigger Point and Cranial Sacral. Their signature service is the 90-minute Hot Stone Envy massage, while the new Sugar Foot Scrub both soothes and hydrates. New customers can take advantage of special introductory prices listed on the spa website. (D.J.) 4150 E. 4th St., Ontario, (909) 294-2222; www.massageenvy.com.

Embody Pole Fitness has every kind of hip and sexy fitness classes imaginable, and nothing is more sexy than vintage-inspired burlesque. Want to strut like Dita Von Teese and own the floor? Well with Embody’s help, you will. They offer burlesque, zumba, hip-hop cardio, kettlebell, barre and pole dancing classes. Plus, they have a wide range of membership and class prices to suit any budget or need. Va Va Voom! (A.B.) 1535 E. Ontario Ave. Ste. 104, Corona, (951) 310-3344; www.embodypolefitness.com.

BEST DOG GROOMING

BEST CAR CUSTOMIZATIONS

Not even a pile of rawhide bones can get a dog’s tail wagging like Coventry’s Ultimate Spa package, which includes a bath, facial, nail and paw treatment, aromatherapy and nourishing vitamin conditioner. For your dog, it’s the next best thing to a date with Lassie! The resort also offers teeth cleaning, grooming, training and supplies, and its daycare and lodging service includes premium meals, Kuranda beds, aroundthe-clock staff and no cages. Opened in 2004, Coventry is a member of the Pet Care Services Association. (D.J.) 412 Tennessee St., Redlands, (909) 792-1163; www.coventrypetresort.com.

Since starting out in 1993, West Coast Customs has gained international fame by appearing in MTV’s hit series Pimp my Ride. It has even earned its own reality TV show spin offs, Street Customs and the more recent Inside West Coast Customs. Its high status in the car industry is due to its ability to uniquely transform each car rolling through the shop. From Paris Hilton’s pink Bentley to an Audi R8 Tron inspired race car, there isn’t anything West Coast Customs can’t do. With stores opening worldwide, the business continues to grow and become a global phenomenon. (V.B.) 181 Via Trevizio, Corona, (951) 248-0680; www.westcoastcustoms.com.

Coventry Pet Resort

BEST ANIMAL SHELTER

West Coast Customs

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shop til....... you drop

BEST SHOPPING CENTER Victoria Gardens

BEST FLORIST

Ferguson’s Flower Gallery

Flowers typically imply “I Love You,” “Thank You” or “I Promise I’ll Remember Next Year,” but Ferguson’s is an elite florist that shows how much more flowers can really say. For example, ditch the carving knife this Halloween and go for a Fresh Flower Pumpkin or Shocktail Martini Bouquet. Other innovations include smiley face sunflowers, strawberry floral margaritas and animal-themed bouquets that turn carnations into lions, dogs and flying pigs. Even the more traditional arrangements come with an elevated sense of flair. (D.J.) 786 N. Garey Ave., Pomona, (909) 629-4444; www.fergusonsflowergallery.net.

BEST STORE FOR STREET ARTISTS GCS Clothing

Since 1995, GCS Clothing in Pomona has been providing the best art supplies for the graff aritst. When we first walked into this modest storefront, we were more than impressed with their huge selection of paints—they literally dedicate an entire section of the store catering to the street artist, carrying every type and color of our favorite brands like Acrylick. Beyond that, they have all the top streetwear brands including Seventh Letter, Dissizit, GCS Originals, Quality Control and more. Supporting the underground lifestyle of the street artist for 14 years, men and women can continue to rock this alternative lifestyle. (J.S.) 168 W. 3rd St, Pomona, (909) 620-2772; www.gcsclothing.com.

BEST ART SUPPLY STORE Michaels

Michael’s is a well-known chain that has anything and everything you might need for all types of arts & crafts. Chosen as the best place in the Inland Empire to find your art supplies, Michael’s has a wide assortment of art sets from graphite pencils and sketchbooks to pastels and learn-todraw sets for beginners. If you’re a painter, you can find everything you need here— they’re stocked with painting supplies like canvases, brushes and paints, paper, boards, easels and more. If you decide to take up crafts while you’re here, you’ll find aisles of supplies for making jewelry, as well as tons of scrapbooking materials. (J.S.) Various Locations throughout the IE, www.michaels.com.

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Victoria Gardens is absolutely the best shopping mall in the Inland Empire for a variety of reasons. While this outdoor mall has all the essential stores you can’t find anywhere else in the IE like Urban Outfitters and the Apple Store, their highend selection of shopping places and restaurants aren’t the only reason to come here. Built in 2004, this new shopping center has charming elements that are reminiscent of Disneyland—Trolleys that move people from one end of the center to another, a horse drawn carriage that can add romance to your night out and elegant décor lining the busy streets, as well as a public library and performing arts center— all to make you feel like your somewhere far outside the IE. (J.S.) 12505 N. Main St., Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 463-2830; www.victoriagardensie.com.

BEST PLACE TO BUY AWESOME MUSIC Rhino Records

We can’t say it enough—we love, love LOVE Rhino Records in Claremont. Small alternative record stores are few and far between considering the corporate giants that have dominated the scene, but with their cult-like customer base and awesome taste, Rhino Records is still going strong. On the corner of Yale Ave. in downtown Claremont, Rhino Records is more than just a place you can buy your favorite underground music, they sell albums from local bands as well. They’re also known for hosting live music and different types of engaging entertainment. They even have a section of funny gifts, books and other obscure items that’ll make you laugh. (J.S.) 235 Yale Ave., Claremont, (909) 626-7774; www.rhinorecords.cc.

BEST PLACE TO BUY VINYL RECORDS Rhino Records

Digging around through thrift store bins and your grandma’s closet to try and score some awesome vinyl can get old after a while—especially if you have allergies and the dust starts getting to you. For this reason and more, Rhino Records in Claremont has won our “Best Place to Buy Vinyl Records” category two years in a row! Not only do they dominate the competition with their selection of used vinyl, CDs, DVDs, LPs and more, they have an even larger selection of new vinyl, etc. We wouldn’t be surprised if you see them dominating this category again next year—they’re that awesome! (J.S.)

235 Yale Ave., Claremont, (909) 6267774; www.rhinorecords.cc.

2176 W. Foothill Blvd, Upland, (909) 9812877; www.laughingbuddhatattoo.com.

BEST PET STORE Elliot’s Pet Emporium

BEST SMOKE SHOP Smoke Shop Outlet

You can buy tobacco and cigarettes on almost every street corner in the Inland Empire, so when our readers are looking for the Best Smoke Shop around, they’re really looking for the best selection of glass, vaporizers and the like. Smoke Shop Outlet in Redlands is clearly at the top in having an exclusive stock of smoking and vaporizing accessories. It has been described as an adult candy store—whether you’re looking for a small piece for smoking on the go or a name brand water pipe to add to your already awesome collection, Smoke Shop Outlet is certainly the place for you. (J.S.) 119 E. Colton Ave., Redlands, (909) 798-4669.

BEST USED BOOKSTORE

Magic Door Book Store IV

Electronic book reading devices are extremely over-rated—our readers prefer to have something tangible with actual pages we can turn; something that shows wear after its has been enjoyed time and time again. If you’re anything like our readers (and you must be, because you’re reading this), then Magic Door Book Store IV will be a wondrous place for you to visit. With over 12,000 quality paperback and hard cover books, you can get lost for hours trying to find your new read. They also have a variety of rare and collectable books, audio books, CDs and tapes. No matter what genre of book you’re into, this used book store has it. (J.S.) 155 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 472-2991; facebook.com/pages/Magic-DoorIV/292 779850794474

BEST JEWELRY STORE

Laughing Buddha Body Piercing

When you first hear “Best Jewelry Store,” you may not be thinking of body jewelry, but our readers sure did. Laughing Buddha Body Piercing in Upland hands down has the finest selection of body jewelry in the Inland Empire, if not in all of So Cal. For 20 years they have been carrying the largest selection of organic jewelry, including bone, wood and precious gemstones, as well as the finest glass, gold, titanium, 316 lvm surgical steel, silicon, dermals and more. Carrying top brands and specializing in rare and custom jewelry, if you’re looking to adorn your navel, nostril, lobes, lips or any other body part with the best quality jewelry, Laughing Buddha has you covered—head to toe. (J.S.)

Whether you’re a fan of the creepy, crawly and scaly animals, or you prefer a pet that’s soft, fuzzy and you can cuddle up next to, Elliot’s Pet Emporium in San Bernardino is the best place for animal shopping. They have a great selection of tropical fish, reptiles, birds and bunnies. Not only do they have a large selection of animals, they have everything you need to take care of your little friends. Another reason this store is a favorite, is because you won’t be overpaying here like you do at other large retail pet shops. (J.S.) 891 S. E St., San Bernardino, (909) 383-2343; www.facebookcom/page s/Elliotts-Pet-Emporium/171855112827491.

clothes & more BEST PLACE FOR COWBOY DUDS Boot Barn

Need a new pair of cowboy boots? How about a trusty pair of hard working jeans? Or if you’re in need of a Stetson or other fun cowboy attire, hit up your local Boot Barn. If you want a sales person to treat you like family, then you should stop and visit the sales team at one of the Boot Barns. Boot Barn is a chain, and they have all the latest styles from the brands you trust like Wrangler, Ariat, Justin, Carhartt, Dan Post, Corral, Old Gringo, Lucchese, Resistol, Wolverine, Montana Silversmiths and many more. Yee-haw! (A.B.) Locations in Norco, Riverside and San Bernardino, www.bootbarn.com.

of course, the shoes—great vintage shoe selections here, some beautiful finds from all decades, in all shapes and sizes. (A.B.) 195 W. 2nd St. Ste C., Pomona, (909) 629-4247; labombavintage.com.

FAVORITE SHOP FOR WOMEN’S CLOTHING Nectar

attire and dress wear, this place has everything a man needs to dress right. They even have a 90-day satisfaction guarantee, and they have professional tailors at every location to help make your suit or outfit fit just right. Men . . . suit up! (A.B.) Locations in Corona and Riverside, www.menswearhouse.com.

BEST BRIDAL SHOP

Nectar is an independent boutique store with an amazing reputation and an even better selection of clothes, accessories and shoes. They have a very cute selection of reasonably priced hip clothing. One of the things we love most about their selection is that you can pretty much guarantee you won’t run into anyone else in your same outfit. These clothes are unique and trendy in the best possible ways. The owners also have DenM, another boutique, just a few doors down, and offer discounts for double shopping at the two stores. (A.B.) 12 E. State St., Redlands, (909) 792-0343; www.nectarclothing.com.

Looking for that perfect wedding dress? David’s Bridal has the largest selection of wedding dresses of any retailer out here, and they can fit into every type of budget too! They also have bridesmaids’ dresses, and other bridal party outfits to help make this place your “go to.” With a great variety of styles, cuts, colors and prices, paired with their great customer service, David’s Bridal makes anyone’s bridal shopping excursion one to remember and cherish. (A.B.) 10325 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, (951) 352-2554; www.davidsbridal.com.

BEST SHOP FOR MEN’S CLOTHING

BEST YOGA OUTFITTER

There’s nothing sexier than a man who dresses well. Men’s Wearhouse is the onestop-shop for men’s clothing; with casual

Every yogi needs the perfect pair of yoga pants, and at least a couple different sporty, breathable sports yoga tops. Lululemon is

Men’s Wearhouse

David’s Bridal

LuLuLemon

BEST STORE TO HELP YOU PRETEND YOU’RE DITA VON TEESE The Atomic Boutique

For all the pin-ups and rockabilly cats around town, The Atomic Boutique is the only place to get your hip duds. With a great selection in-store and enthusiastic and helpful employees, vintage-loving men and women don’t have to scour the flea markets for great throw-backs anymore. This place has amazing vintage reproduction clothing and accessories. They also sell home décor, kids clothing, swimwear, intimates and books! Hey hep cats and cool chicks, look no further—Atomic Boutique has it all. (A.B.) 204 N. 2nd St., Upland, (909) 981-4449; www.theatomicboutique.com.

BEST VINTAGE STORE La Bomba

If you’ve ever gone to The Glass House before, you’ve probably gotten sucked into La Bomba for a few minutes. This place is hypnotic. Their selection ranges mostly from the 1930s (sometimes even earlier) to the 1980s, with some pretty trippy psychedelic dresses and jumpsuits from the ‘60s and ‘70s. They carry a selection of gorgeous cocktail and prom dresses from the ‘50s and ‘60s. They have a great selection of quirky small t-shirts for every hipster boys and girls, as well as many super cool leather jackets, lots of men’s polyester suits as well. And OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

the best yoga outfitters chain to every come to America, no doubt. The Rancho location may not have as wide of a selection as Santa Monica’s location, but it’s a great showroom, with excellent customer service. They also offer Saturday yoga class in the store. Get your sun salutations in, peeps! (A.B.) 7369 Day Creek Blvd. Suite F-102, Rancho Cucamonga, (909) 899-1264; www.lululemon.com.

other products. If what you want is not on the floor, they probably have it in back, and they’ll beat any competitor’s price. Everyone on staff is an active hydroponic grower, and they are happy to answer questions over the phone or in the store. (D.J.) 4745 Hiers Ave., Riverside, (877) 476-9487; www.discount-hydro.com.

it’s fun being an adult BEST VAPE PEN SHOP Vape Castle

Opened early this year, the Vape Castle is the new kid on the block that’s quickly rose to the head of the class. For the uninitiated, a vape (or vaporizer) is a smoking device that uses vaporized “juice” to extract the active ingredients in tobacco, cannabis and other herbal products while significantly reducing the harmful effects associated with smoking. Family owned and operated, the Vape Castle is packed with a wide selection of devices, juices and other products, and customers give the store high marks for customer service. (D.J.) 10485 Magnolia Ave., #3, Riverside, (951) 637-6822; www.vape-castle.com.

BEST LINGERIE SHOP Lotions & Lace

At-home stripper pole? Check. Sexy Mad Hatter costume? Check. Black-light reactive tutu? Check. Lotions & Lace clearly has everything your kinky imagination desires, and many of the thematic lingerie items (Charm School Dropout, Red Hot Riding Hood, Medical Mary Jane) can double as Halloween costumes, assuming you’re not celebrating at the Olive Garden. Other retail gems include spandex gloves, vinyl waist clinchers, pink rhinestone eyelashes, furry leg warmers and lip-shaped pasties, though the creepiest item has to be the Neytiri Avatar lingerie. (D.J.) Locations in Riverside, Montclair, San Bernardino and Lake Elsinore; www.lotionsnlace.com.

BEST SEX SUPPLIES Lotions & Lace

If your Rabbit’s days are numbered, Lotions & Lace is the place for upgrading to a Wild Butterfly, Speeding Bullet or Honey Bunny. No wonder the Best Lingerie Shop also takes top honors for sex supplies. Products breaking the P.C. barometer include China Nympho Cream and the Midget Man Inflatable Ring Toss, while the Piña Colada lube, caramel body paint and honeysuckle honey dust can turn any bedroom into 50 Shades of Farrell’s. Venus in Furs fans can come for the electro-shock kits, but not even Baron von Masoch could endure seeing his mom shop here. (D.J.) Locations in Riverside, Montclair, San Bernardino and Lake Elsinore; www.lotionsnlace.com.

BEST SHOP FOR SEX, LUCK AND CURSES DragonMarsh

BEST HYDROPONICS STORE Discount Hydroponics

Welcome to the Home Depot of Hydro! Opened in 1999, Discount Hydroponics is the industry’s largest online and mailorder retailer, and their Riverside location has a huge inventory of lighting setups, air purifiers, climate controllers, fertilizers, pumps, drip irrigation accessories and

Move over Diagon Alley, this Riverside shop has all the pendulums, wands, goblets, cauldrons and crystal balls a would-be witch or wizard needs. While DragonMarsh felt the need to state they do not sell peyote, their spice and herb list includes such evocative names as false unicorn, cramp bark, coltsfoot, cowslip, chickweed, madder root, horehound and The Donald’s presumed favorite, horny goat weed. The store also sells Dragon’s Blood, Dragon’s Fire and other spiritual oils that boost aspirations like fertility, employment and luck. Wait . . . did someone just say “Vegas?” (D.J.) 3643 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 276-1116; www.dragonmarsh.com.

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BEST COCKTAIL BAR The Vault Martini Bar & Grill

The Vault has all the right ingredients for a classic cocktail bar. The Redlands joint perfectly balances a hipster-energy with a relaxed atmosphere, and discount drink nights like $2 Tuesdays help keep the place buzzing. The Vault also entertains with live music, DJs and a great outdoor space in the alley, and the bar goes out of its way to support the art scene, starting with the emerging artist on its staff. (D.J.) 20 E. Vine St., Redlands, (909) 798-2399.

BEST GAY/LESBIAN BAR Menagerie

On Valentine’s Day, the Menagerie celebrated its 30th anniversary, and it remains the longest running bar of record in the historic quarter of downtown Riverside. Opened against the backdrop of Reagan conservatism, this LGBT institution thrived with lively karaoke nights, dance parties and special events like the annual Prom Night. Never charging a cover, Menagerie today hosts several weekly bashes like Time Warp Wednesday, Struttin’ Saturdays and the Snatch Thursdays drag show with Raven from RuPaul’s Drag Race. Anyone who’s visited Menagerie knows its “FABULAUS!” (D.J.) 3581 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 788-8000; www.clubmenagerie.com.

BEST BAR-HOPPING AREA Downtown Redlands

Beautiful downtown Redlands has the greatest selection of bars along Orange Street and 5th Avenue that you can stumble between any night of the week. If you’re looking for a trendy place to hang out and sip on some inexpensive and tasty drinks, then The Boiler Room is right up your alley. If you’re more into the dive bar scene, you can throw a rock and hit The Pink Flamingo, nicknamed by some of its regulars as The Dirty Bird. Other Downtown Redlands favorites include The Vault Martini Bar & Grill, The Wine Lounge and the Royal Falconer British Pub—all of which make Downtown Redlands the best place for bar hopping in the IE. (J.S.) Downtown Redlands, 1 State St., Redlands, (909) 798-7629; www.aboutredlands.com.

BEST BAR FOR A HOT DATE

The Vault Martini Bar & Grill

BEST TEQUILA BAR

Vivé Tequila Lounge & Nightclub

Did spring break in Cancun swear you off tequila forever? Vivé Tequila Lounge in downtown Pomona can change that. This upscale establishment is a connoisseur’s delight where patrons prefer tasting fine agave tequila to getting sloppy-faced bombed, which might be why it discourages dudes under 25 from coming. The main lounge has more than 100 different tequilas, and bottle service ranges from $175 El Jimador Blanco to $575 Don Julio 1942, the latter being well worth the splurge. (D.J.) 184 W. 3rd St., Pomona, (909) 622 2020; www.vivelounge.com.

BEST HOOKAH BAR

Aladdin Jr. Restaurant & Cafe

The Aladdin Jr. Restaurant & Café serves flavorful Arabic fare like shawarma, kabobs, hummus and babaghanoush, but the Pomona-based establishment is particularly popular for its hookah bar. Developed many centuries ago in India, hookah water pipes are used to vaporize and smoke shisha (flavored tobacco), which is often mixed with honey molasses and dried fruit. The family-owned and -operated Aladdin Jr. has quality pipes and tasty shisha, and the staff patiently helps rookies experience the hookah tradition for the first time. (D.J.) 3161 N. Garey Ave., Pomona, (909) 593-3887; www.aladdinjrrestaurant.com.

Want to impress your new lover with an inviting casual atmosphere and some strong drinks? Head over to the Vault Martini Bar & Grill located in the Fox Theater Building in historic Downtown Redlands. They have a rustic-chic outdoor seating area for you to relax while you listen to the live music that graces the venue often throughout the week. They’re also known for hosting art walks, live painting demonstrations and for their friendly bartenders. Overall, it’s the perfect spot for an alternative and fun date—and you might even get lucky at the end of the night . . . . even if that means winning the live painting raffle. (J.S.) 20 E. Vine St., Redlands, (909) 798-2399; facebook.com/thevaultmartinibar

BEST MARTINI BAR

The Vault Martini Bar & Grill

Ordering a Dirty Martinez sounds wrong for so many reasons, which may be why the Martinez cocktail changed its name to the Martini sometime in the late 1800s. While this is one of many genesis tales in the drink’s highly contested history, there is no debate that the Vault is the best martini bar in the IE. The Vault name makes the bar sound hard to get into, but it is actually an accepting place, even for guys who dare order appletinis. (D.J.) 20 E. Vine St., Redlands, (909) 798-2399.

RADDEST SUMMER HOTEL POOL PARTY ACE Swim Club

The Ace Hotel is certainly a beautiful find in the middle of the dry desert. This 170-room

spa, hotel and resort hosts DJs poolside every weekend to make for some of the hottest swim parties ever! Monthly they’re hosting a Reggae Sol night, where you can enjoy reggae, roots, dancehall and hip-hop. What has made ACE Swim Club really famous in the IE is their World Famous Pool Party that happens every month, featuring DJ and producer Alf Alpha. This party is the business—with pan-global party music and Coachella Valley Art Scene’s craft table setup catering to your poolside crafting needs. It brings swim spectacular to a whole new level of exciting. (J.S.) 701 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, (760) 325-9900; acehotel.com/ palmsprings/swim-club

BEST ALL AGES VENUE The Glass House

The Glass House could very well be one of the only venues in the Inland Empire that wrangles in the greatest bands of all time. Within the next couple months we’ll have Modest Mouse, Subhumans and The Black Dahlia Murder rolling through town at this venue. On top of that—it’s all ages. Their bar is located next door, so you can bring your little brother and his friends to see their favorite band, while you get your drink on next door, and you still have a sober ride home. It’s a perfect plan at the best all ages venue the IE has to offer. (J.S.) 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; www.theglasshouse.us.

BEST COLLEGE TOWN BAR THAT’S NOT OVERRUN WITH COLLEGE KIDS The Press Restaurant

There’s an aura surrounding the Downtown Claremont scene that makes you feel like a hipper person for just being there, and The Press in Claremont is no exception to this feeling. Don’t be alarmed that this bar is just walking distance from the prestigious Claremont Colleges—with its dark ambiance and a full bar stacked with a great selection of beer and wine, you can enjoy the live music that seems to happen every night. There’s an elegance to The Press, completed with its inventive and high-class menu that, if anything, keeps the frat boys far, far away from this place. (J.S.) 129 Harvard Ave., Claremont, (909) 625-4808; www.thepressrestaurant.com.

BEST JAZZ CLUB The Hip Kitty

Meow! A trip to the Hip Kitty in Claremont gives you the same intimate experience as a cool cat in the swinging sixties—without the fishbowl of keys. Between the live jazz music, fantastic cocktails and assortment of tasty fondues, you’ll feel like you’ve been transported back in time, while enjoying a surprisingly hip and modern vibe of this supper club. The open and dark retro setting will keep you relaxed, and if you prefer there is an outdoor patio with private cabanas and a fire pit. Bottle service and private parties are both available, so be sure to make reservations if you’d like to make this place your own for a night. (J.S.) 502 W. First St., Claremont, (909) 447-6700; hipkittyjazz.com.

BEST BLUES CLUB Pappy & Harriet’s Pioneertown Palace

Known for hosting summer music festivals with diverse bands in an intimate setting, Pappy & Harriet’s is the best in the IE for a number of things. They dominated the category as the best blues club, because the nights they feature blues musicians, the lineups are more than impressive. Ted Quinn’s Variety Show has been known to feature blues master guitar player Bill Medley, as well as Rojer Arnold Band—known for their blues and rock fusion. This genre of music is diverse, much like the bands that grace Pappy & Harriet’s nightly—so if you’re looking for an authentic down South atmosphere to enjoy your blues, this is the place for you. (J.S.) 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown, (760) 365-5956; pappyandharriets.com.

BEST DANCE TIL YOU DROP SPOT Duke’s Bar & Grill

Give anyone a little liquid courage and all of a sudden they’re cutting moves on the dance floor that are beyond impressive. At Duke’s Bar & Grill in Riverside, you’ll have more than just drink specials and tasty beverages encouraging you to show off the new dances you learned on YouTube—their DJ is known to play hit songs and fills tons of requests. If you’re more into live music, they are wellknown for their Karaoke Competitions seven nights a week that actually turn out some great singers. Get your groove on to the music that is bumping out of this place one way or another each and every night of the week. (J.S.) 3221 Iowa Ave., Riverside, (951) 248-1143; www.facebook.com/dukesbng.

BEST STRIP CLUB

Deja Vu Erotica Ultra Lounge

Every now and again it’s fun to go to a place where you’re encouraged to gawk at the beautiful women that surround you. Deja Vu Erotica Lounge in Redlands is the best place to do this, with talented dancers that tantalize you with their topless-only numbers on the stage. For this reason and many more, Deja Vu is known as the favorite strip club for men and women alike. This high class joint has steamy entertainment seven days a week, so whether you’re into the live performances on the large main stage or prefer to be treated to a more intimate experience, this is the best place for you all week long. (J.S.) 1331 Colton Ave., Redlands, (909) 798-6330; www.dejavu.com.

BEST ELECTRO CLUB 340 Restaurant & Night Club

If you’re looking for a nightclub that makes you feel like you’ve stepped off the sidewalk in the Inland Empire and into the Hollywood or New York club scene, then we’ve got the place for you. This new club in Downtown Pomona is not only the best place for electronic music in the IE, it’s also the best place to enjoy some sexy male entertainment. From the gorgeous Latino male go-go dancers that dance all night to the numerous shows and events that feature of your favorite stars from Ru Paul’s Drag Race, this club is always crawling with hot and sexy fun. (J.S.) 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, (909) 865-9340; 340nightclub.com.

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

BEST SPORTS BAR

The Fox Sports Bar and Grill

Need a place to go to see the best UFC fights, boxing matches and sports playoffs? The Fox Sports Bar is definitely a hot spot for the younger scene (as this bar is next door to the popular music venues The Glass House and the Fox Pomona Theater). When the fight goes down, grab a pint of Dale Bros. Brewery’s favored Pomona Queen and enjoy watching your favorite event on 25 different TVs and three huge projectors. As the late evening begins, watch as the jersey wearers leave and the classy sports aficionados enter, according to the enforced dress code rule after 9pm. (A.N.) 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, (909) 784-3672.

BEST DIVE BAR The Pink Flamingo

The very definition of a dive bar is just a gritty, hidden drinking joint that’s home to a handful of regulars. More aptly referred to as “The Dirty Bird,” The Pink Flamingo is a social hangout—it’s no place for dressing to impress. Grab a decently priced drink and participate in the social sharing of recreational activities like shuffleboard, pool tables and karaoke to keep you busy. Leave your preconceived notions of expectation at the door, settle in and enjoy yourself—just remember to bring cash for your beverages. (A.N.) 340 Orange St., Redlands, (909) 792-9917.

Expectations are high and this bar’s menu is a smorgasbord of tasty, healthy and even specialized (vegan and gluten-free) treats. Best of all of course is the great alcohol selection and some killer happy hour deals (the place is open every day until 2am for crying out loud!) (A.N.) 3535 University Ave., Riverside, (951) 683-7957; www.facebook.com/pages/Pixels.

BEST HIPSTER BAR The Vault Martini Bar

It’s where the “cool” kids go. The Vault may be small but the place has an enclosed, homey feeling—not just because it’s a part of the historic downtown Redlands Fox Theater. Sure you might sit elbowto-elbow while checking out the newest bands (“you’ve probably never heard of them,” says the hipster). Let your inner hipster spirit guide you in the choice from a fountain of specialty martinis and open yourself up to many unique pieces of art. There’s even an Outdoor alley for smoking and live music. Luckily, you don’t have to identify as a hipster to have a good time here. (A.N.) 14 E. Vine St., Redlands, (909) 798-2399; www.facebook.com/thevaultmartinibar.

BEST WINE BAR

dba256 Gallery Wine Bar

This Pomona gem is a revered lounge bar, offering a great amount of unique live music events, DJs, art and the occasional comedy show—but folks need wine! As far as the IE is concerned, you can’t get farther from Temecula wineries than Pomona— but dba256 has a selection of over 200 great wines to choose from (and 50 beers if you’re into that). On most days dba’s atmosphere offers a relaxed experience for casual drinking needs. It’s the next best thing, if not better than driving down to snobby Temecula for selection and tasting. (A.N.) 256 S. Main St., Pomona, (909) 623-7600.

BEST NEW BAR Pixels

Downtown Riverside recently had a flux of new restaurants and bars, but none of them compare to Pixels. Previously featured on the cover of our recent Happy Hour Guide, Pixels has repeatedly proved itself in all of the best areas. Art? You can bet that the conversation will be influenced by Riverside’s arts and culture scene. Food?

Steam Haus Gastropub

Corona might be a little dry when it comes to interesting restaurants, but the Steam Haus proves that the Dos Lagos shopping center has at least one really good dining option. The décor features a Victorian era steam-punk style that mixes remnants of Charlie Chaplin with an alternate, steamrun universe. Even the employees dress accordingly. Check out the bar, where an eradressed individual will help you select the perfect brew or cocktail. However, the real charm of the place is in the menu, which offers a variety of unique dishes from light flatbread, beefy burgers and the highlight of every visit: an addicting dessert called a Sticky Little Pig. (A.N.) 2785 Cabot Dr. Suite 110, Corona, (951) 277-7500; www.steamhausgastropub.com.

Liam’s Irish Pub

Redlands Underground

BEST SPEAKEASYSTYLE BAR ProAbition

This bar has pulled out all of the stops when it comes to themes. ProAbition honors the sights, sounds and tastes of the prohibition era, and yet there’s no end to the flowing of drinks at ProAbition—especially the elaborate whiskey selection. The people at ProAbition are so serious that not only must employees wear a uniform that reflects the time period but there’s a strict dress code enforcing classy clothing. However, females: as of June, it’s okay to attend your evening of flapper dancing without wearing high heels. (A.N.) 3597 Main St., Riverside, (951) 222-2110; www.proabition.com.

BEST COUNTRY VENUE/BAR The Brandin’ Iron

The Toby Keith song “I Love This Bar” and those cheap red solo cups have got nothin’ on this country joint. For over 20 years the Brandin Iron has been one of the IE’s only decent country venues. It’s been known to book hugely popular country celebs like Taylor Swift, Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton—but don’t write it off as a hillbilly destination. There’s plenty of nights where

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cocktails). Right-o good chaps! (A.N.) 106 Orange St., Redlands, (909) 307-8913; www.theroyalfalconer.com.

BEST BREWPUB/ GASTROPUB

BEST IRISH PUB

BEST KARAOKE BAR Priding itself as the only “subterranean” restaurant in the area (located beneath the Cope Building via some well-lit stairs) this below ground pub has cheap beer, live music, open mic nights and PG-13 pole dancing; activities that welcome the t-shirt and jeans type of bar hoppers who want to socialize with friends. However it’s the karaoke that’s rumored to be the best. With a lax atmosphere, there’s no stopping guests from belting out a semi-drunken “Don’t Stop Believing” or other cliché bar tune from a large selection of music. (A.N.) 19 E. Citrus Ave., Redlands, (909) 798-1500; www.redlandsunderground.com.

the Brandin Iron becomes a hip joint with live DJs and plenty of new music. A hat and boots aren’t required, although you’re expected to dress at least a little classy. 320 S. “E” St., San Bernardino, (909) 888-7388; www.brandinironsaloon.com.

There’s no doubt that the “Best Irish Pub” shouldn’t go to any other bar but Liam’s. Liam’s has done business in the IE for well over a decade and in that time, Irish and non-Irish alike have called it home. As the long-standing stereotype of the Irish as heavy drinkers, so too does Liam’s provide all of the alcohol needed for a good time. Many might say that Liam’s is an especially good “shot place.” Engulf an Irish Car Bomb while enjoying the pool tables, jukebox, occasional live music and a karaoke machine. Erin go bragh my friends! (A.N.) 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, (909) 422-9900.

BEST BEER SELECTION Yard House

There’s plenty of love for the local momand-pop places, but they aren’t always the best when it comes to a variety of the best beer selections around town. The Yard House on the other hand is just as good as driving directly to a craft brewery yourself. Each of the beer taps and kegs are kept at a strict temperature and ready to pour for maximum chill. Little do you know that behind the scenes, there are countless kegs hooked up to tubes (the combined length which ranges from about three to five miles long) that sends your choice brew straight to the taps at the island, in the center of each restaurant. (A.N.) Locations in Chino Hills, Rancho Cucamonga and Riverside; www.yardhouse.com.

BEST BRITISH PUB The Royal Falconer

Also dubbed “Redlands Oldest Pub,” The Royal Falconer is one of the most popular spots in the city (partying since 1999). Of course with its English specialty menu, we expect nothing less than a perfect order of fish and chips. The Falconer caters to everyone with great food, karaoke and open mic, LGBT night and live music. All the while, bartenders continually pour the rightly priced drinks on tap. It might be small but it’s the best British pub this side of the coast. (A.N.) 106 Orange St., Redlands, (909) 307-8913; www.theroyalfalconer.com.

BEST HAPPY HOUR The Royal Falconer

It’s not just the small size of this bar that gives off a familiar Cheers atmosphere (albeit in British form). And it’s not enough to name this joint the “Best British Bar” either, with it’s delicious bangers and mash and other various British foods. The Falconer’s happy hour, which is Monday through Friday (4pm-7pm) offers a bevvy of drinks to enjoy. The bar is 14 years old so it’s had some experience in serving the best libations. The drinks are decently priced and there’s 20 draught beers on tap (and enough alcohol to create a number of

BEST PLACE TO STOCK UP ON LIQUOR Total Wine & More

Better than BevMo or any local liquor store, Total Wine has all of the world’s best wine at its fingertips. A majority of Total Wine’s 8,000 different wines hail from the best wineries in California, but also offer a large variety from France, Washington, Italy and Australia. Of course, there’s an estimated 3,000 types of spirits and 2,500 beers too. No flavor is left unexplored here and every month has it’s alcohol-centric celebration. Not only does Total Wine offer recommendations of the best drinks for Oktoberfest or the Superbowl, but they also carry ice, red solo cups and other necessary party items. (A.N.) Locations in Rancho Cucamonga and Palm Desert; www.totalwine.com. IE

Local News

Take Pity Riverside’s new aggressive attitude toward pit bulls may be too strict By Alex Distefano

Recent news reports across the country, and in Southern California, of pit bulls attacking, injuring and in some cases killing people (and pets) has sparked a fire of concern and controversy in Riverside County. On Tuesday, Sept. 24, Riverside County supervisors scheduled a public hearing, regarding whether to require mandatory sterilization for pit bulls in unincorporated communities, by drafting a public safety ordinance. Further elaboration, discussion and input from the community will be sought in regards to the proposed ordinance, which would require pit bulls older than four months to be sterilized. According to statement by the Department of Animal Services, the local ordinance would “protect the public’s health and welfare from irresponsible owners of pit bulls by mitigating the over-population of unwanted pit bulls.” Just last month, a toddler was mauled to death by five pit bulls in his backyard in Colton, where his grandma and Uncle were supposed to be watching him. Twoyear-old Samuel Zamudio was viciously

mauled in a backyard of a home on Citrus Ave. His 42-year-old grandmother, Eustalia Zamudio and 23-year-old Uncle Marco Zamudio have been arrested and charged with child endangerment resulting in death, with other possible charges pending upon investigation. All five of the dogs have been since euthanized. Last May, a jogger in the Antelope Valley was attacked and killed by several vicious pit bulls in the suburban community known as Littlerock. In June, a pit bull mastiff attacked a man, and back Feb. two pit bulls killed a senior citizen in Hemet. Combine this with recent news reports from the Bay Area and Oregon, where children have been attacked, as well as news stories from New York, Tennessee and Georgia where pit bulls have attacked smaller dogs. People are up on edge when it comes to pit bulls. Critics of the proposed forced sterilization ordinance in Riverside County, say it would unfairly target a breed, and that a dog’s behavior always depends on the owner. They feel that pit bulls are unfairly given a bad name.

Bulletin

You’re killin’ us Larry— killin’ us with kindness Fire in the IE can be caused by a number of things: arson, santa ana winds paired with ridiculous heat, even the occasional methamphetamine explosion. No matter the reason, our local firefighters are the brave souls that end up facing the flames every day. These individuals are extensively trained and required to live away from home for long periods of time, all the while keeping in shape to ready themselves for when situations begin to heat up at a moment’s notice. However there is one aspect of the firefighting life that isn’t quite covered by state government—a good night’s sleep. Due to budget contraints, one of the last things to be upgraded at fire stations are the mattresses. So in honor of National Fire Prevention Week (which runs Oct. 7-11) and keeping local firemen and women’s sleep health in mind, Sit ‘n Sleep and Tempur-Pedic will be donating 20 new mattresses to the devoted fire department in Redlands on Monday, Oct. 7 at 10am. The donation will be given by Mayor Pete Aguilar and Bill Conway, the President of the Professional Firefighters Association to a handful of Redlands’ heroes. IE

Law & Disorder

Are you a true crime buff ? Then go to ieweekly.com every Friday and click on “The Watch Dog” under “News” for the latest cops ’n‘ robbers stuff.

Some Inland Empire veterinarians even suggest the law might cause a backlash, by possibly making pit bull owners who don’t want their animals’ sterilized, more inclined to stay off the radar. If the ordinance should pass, these owners might be less willing to seek medical attention, training or even licensing for their pets. Despite this, the supervisors agreed (5-1) to hold a public hearing on the matter on Oct. 8, in Riverside. Under the proposed measure, any pit bull over four months old would be required to be spayed or neutered unless an owner can qualify his or her animal for one of the following five exemptions: Pit bull belongs to a registered breeder at the time the ordinance; was enacted; pit bull is trained for law enforcement duties; pit bull is an “assistance dog” for a disabled person; pit bull has been certified by a veterinarian as having a health defect that sterilization would aggravate; or pit bull is in training and licensed in another county. In its proposal, the Department of Animal Services defines pits as Staffordshire Bull Terriers, American Pit Bull Terriers and American Stafford Terriers, “or any mixed breed which contains . . . any one of these breeds so

as to be identifiable as partially of one or more of these breeds.” A dog owner may request a “breed determination,” which would require the county’s chief veterinarian or a member of his staff to examine the pet. If the dog is designated a pit bull, the owner would have the opportunity to appeal the finding before a county administrative officer, or take the case to court. IE

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

By ALEX Bradley

THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 26 We’ve started our weekend early . . . with candy cigarettes and Bagel Bites. Healthy style.

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 27 The five permanent members of the U.N. Security Council have agreed on the specific language for a resolution that would eliminate Syria’s chemical weapons. The deal breaks a lengthy diplomatic stalemate and potentially averts a U.S. military strike backed by President Obama. U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Samantha Power said it establishes a “new international norm.” “This resolution will require the destruction of a category of weapons that the Syrian government has used ruthlessly and repeatedly against its own people,” Power said. “And this resolution will make clear there are going to be consequences for non-compliance. This is very significant. This is the first time since the Syrian conflict began two-and-a-half years ago that the Security Council has imposed binding obligations on Syria—binding obligations of any kind.” According to The Washington Post, a confidential assessment by U.S. and Russian officials has found Syria’s entire arsenal could be destroyed in roughly nine months, with most of its stores consisting

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of “un-weaponized” precursors.

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 28 Saturday is normally Caturday over here, but Santa Monica has Glow tonight! Glow is the all night art festival on the Santa Monica beach. In its third occurrence, Glow has mindblowingly good art installations and participatory art pieces all across the beach. The only downside? It kind of feels like a rave and not an art show; plus, have you been to Santa Monica? Parking is ridiculous on a normal day—try bumper to bumper aggravation-fueled traffic and a really long walk to the water from inland . . . what we do for the love of art.

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 29 The second part of the season five finale of Breaking Bad has arrived . . . Did you hear me?! Breaking Bad has ended. ENDED! How in the world will I feel like a badass drug dealer who also—kind of—is a nice guy, without Walt and Jesse??? My life might as well be over.

But there is ONE thing that has cheered me up a tiny bit—okay, a lot . . . Tina Fey’s Girls skit spoof on SNL last night. So amazing and hilarious. Even the ever-talented Lena Dunham sat and thoroughly enjoyed Fey’s spoof on the cult-loved HBO show. Blerta keeps thoses bitches in check.

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 30

Miley Cyrus is everywhere now. I’m still mourning the loss of my drug-dealing-life’s end—or vicariously lived drug-dealing-life, via Breaking Bad—but the world keeps moving, and Miley keeps showing up! It’s as if her tongue is one of those paintings that watches you as you move past it; her tongue is watching us everywhere we go. But apparently I’m not the only one who thinks that, MTV has recently released their documentary on Miss Miley. You know you’re going to watch it. It’s like a car crash with screaming babies and hurt puppies. You have to watch it.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 1

Government shutdown, eh? Well alrighty. IE

BY Chuck Shepherd

News of the LEAD STORY

Weird

American Exceptionalism: Which is more characteristically American—that a Texas company could invent an ordinary rifle that mimics a machine gun or that America’s incomparable legal minds could find a loophole in existing anti-machine-gun laws to permit it to be manufactured and sold? The Slide Fire company’s weapon can spray bullets “like a fire hose” from a legal, semiautomatic gun by simple application of muscle, yet an official opinion of the U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives acknowledges that the agency is powerless to regulate it because of the wording in 1934 and 1986 legislation that otherwise restricts private ownership of machine guns. One gun shop owner told London’s Daily Mail in September that the Slide Fire rifle is “not as easy” to use as a machine gun, but still, “(I)t’s fairly idiot-proof.”

FINE POINTS OF THE LAW

In July, a New York City judge tossed out Joseph Lozito’s lawsuit against the police—even though two officers had stood by in February 2011, out of harm’s way, while a man attacked Lozito as part of a fourmurder crime spree. The judge ruled that it was not clear enough that Lozito was in danger when the officers began to ignore him (while they were inside a subway motorman’s booth). (2) In September, a federal jury in New York City upheld an employment agency worker’s claim that she (an AfricanAmerican) was racially harassed by her boss. The supervisor, Rob Carmona, had insisted that he could not be liable for race-based harassment because, he, too, is African-American and thus entitled to use the “n-word.”

THE CONTINUING CRISIS

BY Gustavo Arellano

Busy Being Superheroes: In separate incidents on successive September days, people dressed as Batman and Captain America rescued a cat from a burning house in Milton, W.Va., and Superman came to the aid of Wonder Woman in Hollywood, Calif. (The West Virginia pair were performing at a function when they noticed nearby smoke, and Superman and Wonder Woman were posing for tourists’ tips when a passerby got belligerent.) In July, another Superman tackled a shoplifter on the streets of Sheffield, England, where he was appearing at a fundraiser. (However, less elegantly, two Captain Americas and a SpiderMan brawled briefly in May over access to a contested, lucrative Hollywood street corner.)

Our Freedom to Doze Off, Now in Danger: The training technology company Mindflash recently revealed a feature for iPads that prevents student inattentiveness during an online course. Facial recognition software notices a user looking away (or, worse, falling asleep) and thus pauses the course at that point until the eager learner reengages the screen. (Mindflash assured reporters that the program has more serious uses, such as treatment of autism and Alzheimer’s disease.) For people who believe that “rave” parties’ music is too faint, an August event at England’s Liverpool International Music Festival offered a solution: The DaDaFest program featured an earcrushing sound level especially staged for deaf people’s dancing—since they can “hear” only by the vibrations saturating their bodies; the non-deaf should bring earplugs. Among the performers: deaf DJ Troi “Chinaman” Lee, who claims he easily feels distinctions in his mix of hip hop, R&B, reggae, dance and electro swing. In an epic failure, according to Madrid’s El Pais newspaper, a 20-story condominium building (“InTempo,” likely the tallest residential edifice in the European Union) in the resort town of Benidorm, Spain, was hastily upsized to a planned 47 stories, but a series of architectural mistakes and developer bankruptcies has left it limping, still 65 percent unsold. Most notably, El Pais discovered in 2012 that the then-current design made it impossible to build an elevator shaft to go past the 23rd floor because of space limitation. (The architects resigned, and unconfident developers were forced to turn to financing from one of the shakier banks in the country’s feeble economy.)

OH, DEAR!

In a YouTube video, reported by the political website RawStory.com in August, well-known tea party activist Jerome Corsi elaborates on the biblical importance of child-bearing and implores followers to “(hold) the line” on the principle that “(s)ex is about the procreation of children.” “(S)ex is not about fun,” he says. “If you want to have fun, read a book, go to a movie.” Evidently, Surgery Is Kinda Boring: A 36-year-old patient is suing California’s Torrance Memorial Medical Center, claiming that anesthesiologist Patrick Yang decorated her face with stickers while she was unconscious and that an aide took photos for laughs, later allegedly uploading them to Facebook. Dr. Yang and the aide were later disciplined but remained in good standing. Some hospitals (not Torrance Memorial yet) prohibit cellphones in operating rooms at all times.

Send your Weird News to Weirdnewstips@yahoo.com

¡ASK A

MEXICAN! Dear Mexican: I’m a MexicanAmerican Catholic that is really upset about something I saw after Mass last night. As I waited for my son to come out of Confirmation class (yes, I had already attended Mass myself), I noticed something really odd. I saw a grocery cart parked by a curb. It was odd because it was filled with all those things a vendor sells at parks. Then I noticed another weird thing... some lady setting up a little table by the front doors of the church with assorted items to sell. WOW! Was I really seeing this? What is going on with people? Have we become so desperate for money we are now hitting up churches like we do parks? I’m not sure if you have seen or heard of this before. I was really offended by this. I am also struggling financially like so many. I live paycheck to paycheck but I still don’t think I could resort to this. I felt it was tacky and just adds to the stereotypes we already have to deal with. What do you think of this? Dazed and Confused Mexican Dear Wabette: You have issues with working-class folks trying to make a buck after Mass, thinking it tacky. You know what else is tacky? A Catholic Church hierarchy that allowed priests to rape boys and girls for decades and not only did nothing to stop it, they protected said pedophiles from the cops and joined their congregants in smearing victims and critics who pointed out the obvious—priestly pedophilia no es bueno. And guess what? More than a few of those victims were—you guessed it!—Mexicans. But since the Church has done such a masterful job of brainwashing Mexican Catholics into believing that speaking out against the hierarchy is speaking out against God, our raza in the States has

universally remained silent about this sex-abuse scandal—hell, you still see Latino politicos and immigrant-rights activists asking for the blessings of pendejos who should be spending life in prison for their cover-ups. Pray to God, pray to La Virgen de Guadalupe, even to La Santa Muerte if you must— but any Mexican who still gives money to the Church might as well also donate to la migra. I know why the Mexican man digs in the trashcan: He can’t believe what Americans throw away. My mom was from Northern Ireland and we got many treasures over the years from walking past our neighbors’ trashcans. She grew up dirt-poor and could not believe all the things Americans would waste and throw away. She honestly felt it was sinful. I dug through trashcans myself and had several yard sales over the years, which helped put me through college. Mary in Oregon Dear Gabacha: Gracias for answering your own pregunta so thoughtfully— please don’t do it again, lest I get reduced to spinning tejanas on my finger at street corners for a living. Why did all the conquerors came from Europe? And why were Africans conquered as slaves, instead of Latinos? Are we more rebellious, and not easy to control?

Latina Grrl Dear Wabette: Latinos not slaves? Look at Mexican Catholics. Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.com/ askamexicano!

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

Band of the week

MUSIC

Bodegas Photo by Tim Richmond

Luscious Lapin Never fear—Frightened Rabbit is here to dominate the music scene By Simon Weedn

In the indie music world, Scotland has a lot to be proud of these days. Both Belle & Sebastian and Franz Ferdinand have garnered a great deal of acclaim over the years and now, Selkirk’s Frightened Rabbit is seeing similar success. Having started in 2003 as a solo endeavor by lead vocalist and guitarist Scott Hutchinson, the band has since filled out to include Scott’s brother, Grant Hutchinson, as well as Billy Kennedy, Andy Monaghan and Gordon Skene while developing a devout, international fan base ever since. In the seven years since becoming fully formed, the band has been incredibly prolific, releasing four studio full-lengths, a live album and a slew of EPs all to great critical reception. The band’s hard driving and beautifully passionate brand of indie rock is nothing short of stunning and their albums have thus far done great justice to representing the band’s talents. Most recently the band released its fourth studio LP entitled, Pedestrian Verse, which shows the band continuing to evolve and work tirelessly to hone its style and skills. Frightened Rabbit has always gone for a big sound on their records, yet, Pedestrian Verse seems to see the band going sonically to the next level. The album is incredibly enveloping and songs like “Holy” are so captivatingly passionate that it almost feels like Hutchinson is reaching through your speakers, grabbing hold of your collar and commanding your attention. While there is no doubt that the inclusion of veteran producer Leo Abrahams (Brian Eno, David Byrne) helped the band to achieve such heights with Pedestrian Verse, the album’s strengths might also have to do with many changes in the band’s approach to writing the album. Hutchinson explained in an article he wrote prior to the record’s release that he had tried to broaden his focus, lyrically. Many of the previous records had mainly been about himself, and even more specifically, bad breakups. Though another rough end to a relationship made its way into some of the lyrics in Pedestrian Verse, much of the record attempts to focus outside of Hutchinson instead of within him. Additionally for the first time, the band took many of the songs out on the road prior to recording in an attempt to hone them and craft them further before entering the studio.

On this topic Hutchinson muses, “We had all the tunes written and assembled and then we took them on a small tour of Scotland last year because we’d noticed, over time with the older songs, the more we played them, they’d sort of develop and change simply through us getting a little bit bored with them. So we wanted to apply some of that to the new songs, so by the time we got into the studio, we felt that they were worn in.” A final major change to the band’s path with the new record was Hutchinson’s involving the band in the entire writing process. In the past, most records were completely written by Scott whereas this one, he sought out the input of the other band members, he explains, “I wanted this album to be written inclusively, you know, with everyone in the band,” he continues, “I wanted this to be a band album, that was one of the reasons we took the songs out on the road and, for the first time, recorded the songs live as a five piece in the room together. “It is most likely due to these changes in approach that the band was able to capture the power and strength in a studio with Pedestrian Verse, that most only attain in a live setting. One thing is certain, those in attendance of its shows, especially the band’s headlining engagements like the one at The Glass House, will be in for a real treat. There is nothing quite like seeing a band that thrives in a live setting, performing and headlining shows that ensure the band has full control over the length of their set times. Though the band is happy to be playing for support slots for bands as renowned as The National, Hutchinson admits, “It’s difficult, we only really have between half an hour and forty-five minutes and that doesn’t even cover the lens of one of our records and you have to admit that you’re going to disappoint a few people by not including certain things.” Conversely, for the headlining spots Hutchinson explains, “We can kind of play as long as we like and I think, especially now that we have all that material under our belts, it’s good to be generous with it.” IE Frightened Rabbit w/ AUGUSTINES at The Glass House, 200 W. Second St., Pomona, (909) 865-3802; www. theglasshouse.com. Thurs, Oct. 3. 8pm. $20.

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MEMBERS: Chris Swanson (guitar/lead vocals), Angel Aldana (bass/vocals) and George Pantoja (drums). Cities of Origin: Baldwin Park, Covina and Pomona. Kindred Spirits: Ol’ Dirty Bastard and Bob Marley. Websites: www.bodegas.bandcamp.com, soundcloud.com/bodegas666 and www.facebook.com/626bodegas. Frequents: Local skate parks and backyards in the IE.

With a name inspired by a stoner flick, Bodegas has embodied Southern Californian spirit by creating a rhythmic sound with influences of punk rock, reggae and soul. As a self-sufficient band, Bodegas has been going strong since 2009 with a demo released in 2010 followed by their first full-length album, Down for Whateverz, in 2012. With anticipation to record a third album in 2014, the band has been working hard playing “DIY” gigs in back yards and skate parks throughout the Inland Empire. With word of mouth as its only means of promotion, it is impressive to see how far this band has gone and how much it has evolved. For updates and current shows be sure to check out their Facebook page and website. What is the story behind the name of your band? We named the band Bodegas, if you watch a film called Half Baked, there is a scene where Dave Chappelle walks into a liquor store called Bodegas where the clerks at the counter sell marijuana. They use the store as a front. It just stuck with us and we never looked back. It was original enough to hang and stick in people’s minds. Bodegas is a lot more popular on the east coast though, so some people still don’t understand the pronunciation [boh-dey-guhs]. There isn’t a “The”—just BODEGAS. What can fans expect from a live performance? Our live performances can get pretty rowdy and our fans usually come ready to have a good time. We try to make every show its own experience. Sometimes we

bring in rappers, or horn players or a percussion player, etc. Each show has its own vibe. Sometimes we bring props or signs to hang that we made. There usually is a pit during the faster songs and when we slow it down the girls are able to dance. Crowd surfing happens sometimes if the venue is relaxed enough. Where in the IE do you frequently perform? Usually anywhere we can that doesn’t scam the bands. We notice around this area especially there are promoters who force bands to sell tickets to play at their venues. We don’t agree with any of that so we go the DIY route usually and contact the venue owners directly to book our own shows with our friends and it works out like a community type situation where the bands look after each other. We are focused on playing some local backyards/house shows around La Puente, Baldwin Park [and] LA after we finish recording. Our draw is decent these days if we have enough time to promote the show online and pass out flyers we can pack the house. That can be a challenge if it’s a backyard party though because the cops will shut us down. We try to play all ages 18+ venues as much as we can like Art Galleries in Pomona. We play a lot of bar gigs too. Our favorite places to play are outdoor areas like skate parks or festivals. We have only been fortunate enough to play at one festival last year called Eclectic Roots in Irvine Lakes but they didn’t do it again this year so hopefully next year we can hop on some other festivals after our album is released. (Victoria Banegas) IE

ARTs & Culture

Witness to the Sublime John Divola’s evocative photographs visit Claremont By Ingrid Reeve

Situated serenely within the picturesque grounds of the Pomona College Art Museum is a vibrant exhibit by photographer John Divola. The 15 photographs in “John Divola: As Far as I Could Get,” framed in white, are incredibly luminous, like HD T.V., yet they were masterfully created in 1977 and 1978. The resounding theme is that of an ocean view through a window, giving the viewer a distinct space to occupy within an abandoned home on Zuma Beach in Malibu, California. In this series, titled Zuma, Divola challenges the notion of photographer as witness. The cohesive visual theme running through this body of work contributes to the illusion of photographic truth. However, upon closer examination, the artist’s hand in the process begins to emerge. The individual works, like fragmented spaces, are clearly documentations of a very specific space and time, but they bring about questions of human presence and human interaction with the space. In Zuma #3 worn and torn curtains reveal the decomposition of a once lovely home; the curtains are offset by carefully considered wood panels—abstract elements that serve as remnants of the artist’s hand. A vertical turquoise panel balances mysteriously on two other wood panels, which seem to be digitally interposed. Yet the dull colors of the interior wall absorb the turquoise hue and take on a strident color redirecting the viewer to the idea that Divola’s manipulations of the image where done in person where the light of the panel would reflect on the physical color of wall. Divola altered the Zuma beach home scenes in person, not digitally—nor manually on the printed photograph. Floating objects, evidence of the artist’s presence, can also be found in other photographs from the Zuma series. Divola was on the cutting edge of photographic practices. Perhaps inspired by the firemen who started training in the home, affecting it and pushing it closer to its ultimate demise, Divola’s work takes a backwards version of performance documentation when he too begins to make his mark on the home’s interior and document it. As seen in Zuma #23 and Zuma #25, he added painterly graffiti to the wall and ceiling—marks that suggest abstract expressionism more than street art. Then he documented the way the light changed the artwork and the way the work changed the home. The marks, mostly polka dots and lines, glisten in the light,

like dance party lights, the stars or even the sublime. Images that contain Divola’s primitive marks and graffiti appear full of hope, but the photographs with fire damage reference destruction. Add an M8A1 to Zuma #9 and you’ve got a scene right out of Call of Duty: Black Ops or a number of other first-person shooter video games, amazingly with scenes created in 1978. The interior of the home provides a wide range of tone to this exhibit; steady ocean views offset the evolution of the home. While altering the walls of the Zuma beach home for his photographs, he was also charting new territory introducing questions of an artist’s role and the artist’s work. These images were without a doubt ahead of their time both aesthetically and conceptually.

Zuma #23 by John Divola. Image courtesy of Pomona College Museum of Art

The exhibit on view at the Pomona College Art Museum is one of three collaborative exhibitions for a career spanning presentation of the artist’s work. Additional exhibits of Divola’s work are being held at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art and Santa Barbara

Museum of Art. IE “John Divola: As Far As I Could Get” at Pomona College Museum of Art, 333 N. College Ave., Claremont, (909) 621-8283; www.pomona.edu/museum. On view thru Dec. 22.

Zuma #25 by John Divola. Image courtesy of Pomona College Museum of Art

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

FILM

LOVE’S PUSH AND PULL Don Jon makes an insightfully funny case against porn By Carl Kozlowski

Porn rakes in billions of dollars a year without anyone ever admitting to watching it. In Don Jon, his debut film as a writer and director, Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a sexually voracious guy who very well could be propping up the entire porn world himself. Gordon-Levitt stars as Jon, the kind of guy who would fit right into MTV’s Jersey Shore: a hunky, swaggering, nottoo-bright fellow who each night brings home a different girl from the dance clubs he frequents. The problem is Jon loves watching porn even more than he enjoys hooking up, rolling right out of bed after his sexual bouts with strangers to surf the Web for ever weirder ways to get off. This might sound like a creepy and gross subject for a film, but don’t worry. GordonLevitt has built a thriving career by taking chances with top-flight directors in such intelligent films as Inception, Looper and Brick. In his clever and surprisingly touching vision, Jon isn’t just a hopeless pervert akin to the character Michael Fassbender played to great critical acclaim in 2012’s Shame. Rather, he’s a humorously conflicted but devout Catholic who prays while working out and frustrates his parish priests with his weekly confessions. Jon treats confession as a carwash for his soul, racing to church every Saturday afternoon to cleanse his spirit in time for Sunday Mass, yet inevitably lapsing back into a staggering number of sexual sins throughout the next week. But when he meets a stunning woman named Barbara, played to sensual and comic perfection by Scarlett Johansson, he finds himself forced to change because she finds porn disgusting and makes him swear he won’t ever watch it again. As Jon matures into monogamy and wins his battle with porn addiction, the impact ripples out across his confused friends and bemused family. He also finds himself

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taking a night class in college for the first time at Barbara’s behest, and there he meets a sad, middle-aged woman named Esther (Julianne Moore), who keeps trying to be his friend even as he pushes her away, thinking that the only woman he’ll ever need is Barbara. And of course, there’s Jon’s hilarious quest to receive a lesser penance of prayers in confession each week as he improves his behavior. From that crossroads of growth in Jon’s relationships, Gordon-Levitt weaves a sweet, funny and emotionally stirring tale of a simple guy trying to make sense of a life he realizes is stuck in shallowness. Don Jon impressively walks several tightropes. The movie must show the allure of porn for Jon and the millions of other men just like him—a sexual experience that seems hotter and better than anything a real woman could ever give them—while also conveying its real message: that pornography not only degrades women, but also the men who watch it. In pursuing that point, Gordon-Levitt and ace editor Lauren Zuckerman rev up some torrid montages of naked women performing acrobatic sexual feats while still making the images empty and ultimately sad. On the other hand, once the movie settles into its real story of the conflict between shallow sex and impassioned true love, Gordon-Levitt and his lively costars (including a terrific Tony Danza as his profane lecher of a father), the story becomes a wise and romantic tale that women will also love. With those conflicting elements woven perfectly in sync, Don Jon recalls the 2005 hit The 40 Year Old Virgin as a film that appears to be a raunchy romp on the surface yet calls for greater decency in our debauched times. That’s a message that’s welcome from anyone in media, and here’s hoping that Gordon-Levitt keeps finding valuable things to say while entertaining audiences in future projects. IE

EATS

Photo courtesy of Paisano’s Italian Resteraunt

Rice, Rice Baby Taking a tour behind the scenes of the artistry at Paisano’s By Nancy Powell

It’s funny how outward appearances dictate our expectations. On a Saturday evening just before opening, as I’m standing outside Paisano’s gates waiting for the red and yellow pastiche with the washed red brick columns to unfurl its gates, an elderly gentleman gently informs me that the , Oriental place across the ways serves great Asian food—as if me with my elegantly sculpted Asian assets couldn’t appreciate “Old World meets New World” Italian on its own merits. Judging by what stands before me, I’m not sure if I should expect - kitschy casino-interpreted faux or real deal Italian. The only way to tell is to taste-test what Chef Francesco Di Caudo e has prepared for me. And what this charming young Sicilian chef with his chiseled good looks and articulate manner has accomplished is to infuse Italian American cuisine with authentic flavor and flair in the short time that he has assumed stewardship of Paisano’s kitchen. As a first course, Chef Francesco presents pork belly on a bed of creamy cheese polenta and wild mushrooms and immediately sets high expectations. His belief that the plate becomes of reflection of its master clearly shows; out of the gate, the aromatic and fragrant wine sauce assails the nostrils. Visually stunning, its composition, layers and flavors recall scenes of the serene, Italian countryside. The sous vide cooked pork belly with crispy, golden brown skin is unctuous, and it marries magnificently with the earthy pop of the herbed polenta and mushroom mix. This is bacon the way sophisticates would eat it, each bite a sensual experience of the food’s origins. Next up Chef Francesco’s sleeve is one of his fall specials, crab ravioli in an heirloom tomato sauce. The taste of the sea, as if the creature jumped out of the sea and into this soft, toothy pastry cocoon for our dining pleasure gratifies, as does the acidic yet sweet burst of the heirloom tomatoes. The dish is almost too beautiful to eat. It’s light, dainty and perfectly suited for late summer dining.

Chefs generally don’t see value in rice as a starring ingredient. “A lot of people say it is filler,” says Chef Francesco. “I think it is a culture.” Rice, as it turns out, happens to be Chef Francesco’s favorite ingredient, akin to “a big piece of white paper where you can write or paint with any preparation…where cooks can create.” As if to illustrate what he means by “blank canvas,” Chef Francesco prepares a butternut squash risotto layered with sour cream and caviar, a bright, bold and resplendent masterpiece that is sultry and texturally decadent with its play on salty, sour and sweet as it is a breath and taste of sunshine. The dish does double duty as satisfyingly rustic comfort food. Chef Francesco’s crowning achievement of the night lies in the osso bucco, a fall-off-the-bone hunk of succulent flesh so luxurious as to slice cleanly through with just a knife. He flavors the marrow, so rich and tangy, with herbs and garlic, and the saffron risotto becomes another testament to Chef Francesco’s ability to make rice sing. The meat’s juices melt into the citrus-scented risotto, making this dish seem more like a double entrée—and a tasty one at that. No Italian dinner would be complete without a sampling of tiramisu, served with hazelnut crème cookies and fresh raspberries. It’s served in a martini glass, a perfect-sized treat that’s not overly sweet, yet light and creamy enough to end the evening on a very high note. So the part where appearances can be deceiving? Not all Italian restaurants have to evoke that sense of country rusticity to feel appreciated. In the case of Paisano’s, the color pastiche reflects the joy and vivacity that Chef Francesco brings to his food. After all, good food on a plate is the ultimate reflection of its maker. IE Paisano’s Italian Restaurant at the Pechanga Resort & Casino, 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, (951) 7708506; www.pechanga.com. Dinner for two without drinks, $122. AE, D, MC, V. OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

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If you have information that needs to be changed, please e-mail calendar@ieweekly.com or call (951) 284-0120 x583. Average price per entrée: Under $10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $ $10-$20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $$ Over $20 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $$$

claremont EURO café. Portuguese cuisine (with daily specials) is this café’s specialty, plus superb sandwiches and salads. 546 E. Baseline Rd., 909.621.4666; www.eurocafeclaremont.com. PETISCOS. These tacos have been reinvented in a way you’ve never dreamed possible. 211 W. 1st Street, 909.625.5557; www.eatatpetiscos.com. Tutti Mangia ITALIAN GRILL. Pasta, fish, specialties and a host of Italian treats to tickle the taste buds. 102 Harvard Ave., 909.625.4669; www.tuttimangia. com. $$ UNION ON YALE. Innovative dishes that will both delight your taste buds and satisfy your appetite. 232 Yale Ave., 909.833.5104; www.uniononyale. com. $$

corona CAFE SOLE. Pamper your body and your appetite with some healthy Mediterranean cuisine. Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa, 25000 Glen Ivy Rd., Corona, 951.453.6489; www.glenivy.com/springs/cuisine/ cafe-sole. EDUARDO’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT. It’s some good, old-fashioned, homespun Mexican food with heart and soul. 513 W. 6th St., 951.340.3722;

DINING GUIDE www.eduardosmexicanrestaurant.com. HOT DOG SHOPPE. Tired of the same ol’? Have that time-tested frankfurter dished up in a number of new ways, including the Wonder Tiger, The Justin, Blue German, Angry Dave and Garden of Eden. 510 Hidden Valley Pkwy., 951.898-8702; www.thehotdogshoppe-corona.com.. KING’S FISH HOUSE. It’s definitely a cut above the standard fare corporate crustacean cuisine. Even the bisque rocks (lobster). 2530 Tuscany Rd., 951.284.7900; www.kingsfishhouse.com.

pomona Coco Palm RESTAURANT. This Cuban-Spanish spot offers Cuban tamales, empanadas, tapas, paella, and an incredible array of meats and fish. 1600 Fairplex Dr., 909.469.1965; www.cocopalmrestaurant.com. $$ MIX BOWL CAFÉ. It’s a mix of Asian goodies here, including Thai BBQ and other tastes. 1520 Indian Hill Blvd., 909.447.4401; www.mixbowlcafe.com. $ NEW YORK DELIGHT. What a delight it is to chomp down on a variety of deli sandwiches featuring fresh-cut meats, some of which actually hail from the Big Apple! 310 S. Thomas St., 909.868.6518; www.nydelight.com. THE BURGER HOUSE. Previously known as 2nd on Second Street, this bistro-turned burger joint makes some pretty mean patties. 171 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.623.7620; www.theburgerhouse.net.

redlands Cuca’s. Featuring daily specials, tacos, burritos, tamales, hamburgers and more. 527 E. State St., 909.335.9557. Location #2: 1752 Lugonia Ave., 909.389.1235; www.cucasmex.com. DHAT ISLAND. a caribbean dining delight

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

DINING GUIDE that’s better than tasty (only open for take-out and catering on weekdays). 509 N. Eureka St., 909.792.1717; www.dhatisland.com. The Eating Room. Located in an old JC Penney’s warehouse filled with fake orange trees and a large collection of rooster statues. 107 E. Citrus, 909.792.5400; www.allmarthagreen.com. $ Farm Artisan Foods. The Farm presents only the finest artisan foods available, favoring items grown or produced locally. 22 E. State St., 909.792.1162; www.farmartisanfoods.com. $$$ JERSEY’S PIZZA. The beer selection kicks ass, as it features only the best stuff around. (Oh yeah, there’s pizza somewhere here, too!) 214 Orange St., 909.335.7076; www.jerseyspizza.com. Las Brasas. Las Brasas offers traditional Mexican

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dishes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 15 E. State St., 909.335.9866. $ Little Fisherman Seafoods. If you want fresher fish, you’ll have to pull it out of the water yourself. 1179 W. Redlands Blvd., 909.798.5998; www.littlefisherman.com. $$ Tartan of Redlands. Tartan of Redlands has been a local landmark for decades and is popular with locals and visitors. 24 E. Redlands Blvd., 909.792.9919; www.tartanofredlands.com. $$

riverside ANCHOS SOUTHWEST BAR & GRILL. Seriously Southwestern, as the bull horns will promise. 10773 Hole Ave., 951.352.0240; www.anchos.net. $$ D’elia’s grinders. Remember when the grinder was a serious sandwich? If so, we’ve got a great trip back into memory lane. 2093 University Ave., 951.683.7380; www.deliasgrinders.com. $ Joe’s Bar and Grill. Fun and festive dining with live entertainment and American eats like burgers, dogs, steak, and chili. 10909 Magnolia Ave., 951.637.3931. $$ MAGNONE TRATTORIA & MARKET. You won’t be able to deny this Italian joint the respect it deserves. 1630 Spruce St., Riverside, 951.781.8840; www.magnonetrattoria.com. MONARK ASIAN BISTRO. Asian fusion cuisine that’s full of new (and familiar) flavors. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr. #64, 951.683.1073; www.monarkasianbistro.com. Olivia’s Mexican Restaurant. Everything is made fresh daily and if you haven’t been here before, well, you’re missing out. 9447 Magnolia Ave., 951.689.2131; www.oliviasmexicanrestaurant.com. $ PHO Saigon. Pho is a clear broth soup served with thin noodles that can be vegetarian or filled

w s 9 P s w s p RED h t b 9 T b w A Y h o

A r c a D c t J c t A L t A MARDI a

with chicken, shrimp or beef—get your perfect setup right here. 1450 N. University Ave. #N, 951.369.0306. $ PUNJAB PALACE. Satisfy your hungering itch for spice with a few dishes that might empty your wallet but certainly fill your stomach. 1766 University Ave., Ste 102, Riverside, 951.686.9968; www. punjabpalacecuisineofindia.com. $$ RED HOT KITCHEN. Hey foodies, this new place has tastes to crave, including the pickled kimchi taco, an avocado and mango salad, and totally bomb jalapeno bombs. 1995 University Ave., 951.684.9800; www.rhkriverside.com. Templo Del Sol. What could be better than a bunch of meat, cheese, beans and veggies wrapped in a large flour tortilla? 1365 University Ave., 951.682.7047. YELLOW CHILI TAPAS KITCHEN AND BAR. This joint has opened a restaurant strictly to praise the art of the appetizer. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Ste. # 42,

951.686.9400.

san bernardino

Alfredo’s Pizza and Pasta. A classic Italian joint, right down to the red and white checkered tablecloths. 251 W. Base Line St., 909.885.0218; www. alfredospizzandpasta.com. Delhi Palace. All the greatest hits: tandoori chicken, lamb and naan. Check out the buffet, too! 2001 Diners Ct., 909.884.9966. $$ JACKPOT TASTY THAI-CHINESE FOOD. Tasty Thai cuisine that rolls the dice and pays out in delectable, authentic dividends. 2160 S. Waterman Ave. #C, 909. 824.1324. Los Portales. Mexican fare like mamacita used to make—over 100 dishes of it. 1313 N. Waterman Ave., 909.888.2544; www.losportales3.com. MARDI GRAS RESTAURANT. Yes, it’s the best Cajun and creole cuisine in the Inland Empire. Great

DINING GUIDE breakfast, lunch and dinner served all day, seven days a week, with live jazz twice weekly. 201 N. E St., 909.884.5000. THE MUG. Not a whole lot’s changed in the 60 years this eatery offering up pizza and more. 1588 W. Highland Ave., 909.887.1550. Surfer Joe’s. This laid-back eatery enjoys a loyal following who come in for the homemade pizzas, pastas and sandwiches. 251 E. Redlands Blvd., 909.824.5523. $

UPLAND BLACK WATCH PUB. This place where “everybody knows your name” offers some bomb British dishes. 497 N. Central Ave., #B, Upland, 909.981.6069; www.theblackwatchpub.com. Bulldog Pub & Restaurant. British cuisine, you ask? Yes, it exists! The fish ‘n’ chips is always a terrific stomach pleaser. 1667 N. Mountain Ave. #117, 909.946.6614. $ Joey’s Western Steak-N-BAR-B-Q. Four words: fire pits and brewskies. Oh, and meat. That’s five. 1964 W. Foothill Blvd., 909.982.2128; www.joeysbbq. com. $$$ ., 909.981.8114; www.petrillispizza.com. $ 909.946.4674; www.pinehavencatering.com san biagio’s pizza. After taking a bite of these NY-style slices, it’ll be hard to believe you’re still in Upland. 1263 W. 7th St., 909.946.9277; www. sanbiagios.com. $ san biagio’s pizza. Same as the above San Biagio, just in another spot in the city. 1118 E. 19th St. #F, 909.949.6900; www.sanbiagios.com. $ TANGO BAIRES CAFÉ. Authentically delicious Argentine cuisine. 870 E. Foothill Blvd. #2, 909.985.6800; www.tangobairescafe.com. $$ TEQUILA HOPPERS. Burgers and appetizers that are better than the standard bar fare. 60 N. Mountain Ave., 909.985.9114; www.tequilahoppers.com. $$

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

fri 10/04

LIVE OAK CANYON PUMPKIN PATCH

You know that Halloween is close when beautiful fields full of pumpkins, squash and gourds are primed for you to come by and pick ’em straight off the stalk. Every weekend holds all kinds of fun including petting zoos, music, western gunfighters, pony rides, comedy acts, circus performers, food vendors and so much more. And don’t get lost in the ever-popular Corn Maze. Open until 9pm. 32335 Live Oak Canyon Rd., Redlands, (909) 795-8733; www.liveoakcanyon.com.

sat 10/05 DIRTY WARS

In the media obsessed world we live in today, you would think it would be hard to keep things a secret for long. That should be especially true for something that both unites and divides us; war. Investigative journalist Jeremy Scahill looks at the toll behind a vague war we’ve been fighting for over a dozen years, isn’t it time you know the truth? 3pm & 7pm. $3. UCR ARTSBlock, 3824 Main St., Riverside, (951) 827-4787; artsblock.ucr.edu.

thu 10/03

DESTINATION STYLE FALL FASHION SHOW With busy schedules and little time, it’s hard to find clothes that are stylish and flattering. We find ourselves wishing everyday that we had a magical genie to help guide us through the perpetual loathing that comes with digging through our closets. With fall arriving, Destination Style couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. Coordinated by local business owners R.J. Rodriguez and Brian Hopper of The Vanity Haus with M.C, David St. Pierre, this event has a variety of styles to offer for both men and women. Local beauty salons will contribute to the event by providing hair and makeup, while aspiring designers will be showcased in the design competition that will be taking place. Before and after the event, attendees will get a chance to shop at participating boutiques featured in the show. Not only will guests have a great time shopping, they will experience downtown hospitality while attending the many after parties taking place later in the night. Riverside’s fashion district has remained a hidden gem for quite some time and with Destinations Style’s debut in 2012, it has slowly started to gain notoriety. What is becoming an annual event for both spring and fall fashion in the Inland Empire is convenient for both retailers and consumers, serving as that magical genie that will help us get closer to becoming fabulous. (Victoria Banegas) Destination Fall Fashion Show, Main St. between University Ave. and Mission Ave., Riverside, www.facebook.com/ DestinationStyleDowntownRiverside.

wed 10/09 STEVE MARTIN AND THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS

Steven Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers, featuring Edie Brickell are known for its sold-out shows that leave audiences on their feet. With a tour that blends comedy and bluegrass, songs off its new album Love Has Come for You, as well as brand-new and never-before-heard material, its sure to deliver an exciting night packed with entertainment. 8pm. Palm Springs McCallum Theatre & Performing Arts, 73000 Fred Waring Dr., Palm Desert, (760) 340-2787; www.mccallumtheatre.com.

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

tue 10/08

DYNAMITE COMEDY SHOW PRESENTS ERIK GRIFFIN

sun 10/06

LUCAS OIL OFF-ROAD EXPO

All you adrenaline seeking junkies that can’t get enough of the dunes and vrooms will be able to quench that high-octane thirst with some of the best companies, parts, gear and experts around. It doesn’t matter if you’re into casually riding your motorcycle along the adventure trails or living dangerously by rock crawling competitively; 10 acres of offroad vendors are here to help. 9am. $10. Pomona Fairplex, 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona, (909) 623-3711; www.fairplex.com.

mon 10/07

THE GOLDEN AGE OF ROCK ‘N’ ROLL

You don’t have to be in your golden years to appreciate the While Erik Griffin has become a hottest music from the ‘50s and ‘60s. Classic household name from his role as Montez on hit songs like “Rock Round the Clock,” Comedy Central’s series Workaholics, seeing “Proud Mary,” “California Dreamin’,” him perform live stand-up will make even more “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” and of a positive impression. You’ll be happy he quit many more will grace the legendary stage. his full-time job in 2003 to pursue comedy. Using Come early to enjoy Harold Willhite’s his diverse cultural background to make light Woodwind Celebration Ensemble opening of life’s awkward situations like finding love, up the night with great music as you enjoy everyone in the audience will be able to relate. complimentary refreshments. 8pm. $12. Ontario Improv, 4555 Mills Cir., 7:30pm. Chaffey High School, Gardiner Ontario, (909) 484-5411; Spring Auditorium, 1245 N. Euclid Ave., ontario.improv.com. Ontario, (909) 226-5748; www.showband.net.

calendar (CALL AHEAD FOR TIMES AND COVER CHARGE. LISTING DATES AND INFORMATION ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.) If you would like to be in these listings or have information that needs to be changed/corrected, please contact us at calendar@ieweekly.com or (951) 284-0120 x585.

MUSIC 135 EAST. Every Sun Sunday Slaughterhouse. Every Tues Rock Tuesdays feat. Live bands. 10pm. Every Wed Live hip-hop. 6pm. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. ALOFT HOTEL. Every Wed Acoustic Wednesdays. 8pm. 10480 4th St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.484.2018; www.aloftontario-rc.com. THE BARN. Thurs, Oct. 3 Branches; Gypsies and Judges. University Of California Riverside, 900 University Ave., Riverside, 951.827.2776; www.kucr. org. BENJARONG. Every Fri-Sat Live Music. 1001 Park Ave., Redlands, 909.792.3235; www.thebenjarong. com. BRIDGES HALL OF MUSIC. Sat Poetic Piano Quartets with the Garth Newel Piano Quartet. 8pm. 150 E. 4th St., Claremont, 909.607.2671; music.pomona.edu. THE BULLDOG PUB. Every Thurs Bob Summers and His Quartet. Every Sun Bob Summers’ Open Mic Night. 4pm-8pm. Shows: 21+. 1667 N. Mountain Ave., Upland, 909.946.6614. THE CAVE. Fri Pink Floyd Sound. 8pm. Sat Trainwreck Theater. 8pm. 40789 Village Dr., Big Bear Lake, 909.878.0500. www.thecavebigbear.com. CHAFFEY HIGH SCHOOL. The Golden Age of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Gardiner Spring Auditorium, 1245 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.226.5748; www.showband.net. CLUB TRINIDAD. Every Mon and Tues Tomcats. 7pm11pm. The Purple Room, 1900 E. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.969.1800. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every 1st Sat Live bands feat. Nuke Mutant Promotions Rockabilly, Rock en Espanol and more. 9pm-2am. Every 2nd Fri La Nueva Cueva. 9pm-2am. Every 2nd Sat Live Rockabilly & Phsycobillthescrubdaily.com y bands feat. Empire Ent. & Blue Jean Betty. 9pm2am. Every 3rd Fri Noche De Bandas Y Conjuntos. 9pm-2am. Every 3rd Sat Live heavy metal bands feat. Wolf Attack. 9pm-2am. Every 4th Fri la Nueva Cueva. Every 4th Sat Live ska and reggae bands. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. FANTASY SPRINGS RESORT CASINO. Fri Gladys Knight; The O’Jays. Fri Damage Inc.; Steel Imagination. Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. FLOUR FUSION. Every Fri Live Music. 7pm. 133 N. Main St., Lake Elsinore, 951.245.1166; www.flourfusion. com. THE GLASS HOUSE. Thurs, Oct. 3. Frightened Rabbit; Augustines. 8pm. Fri Modest Mouse. 8pm. Sat Mad Dog Cole; Plan 9; The Howlers; The Grims; The Spoofs. 7pm. Wed Chateau Marmont; Kauf. 7pm 200 W. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.865.3802; www. theglasshouse.us. HANGAR 24 BREWERY. Every Wed Live Music. 6:30pm-9:30pm.1710 Sessums Dr., Redlands, 909.398.1400; www.hangar24brewery.com. HARRISON HOUSE MUSIC & ARTS. Sat-Sun Fared Shafinury; Saba Alizadeh; Dara Afraz. Sat, 7:30pm. Sun, 4pm. 6881 Mount Lassen Ave., Joshua Tree, 760.366.4712. HIP KITTY JAZZ AND FONDUE. Thurs, Oct. 3 The Teryn Carter Trio. 7pm. Fri Suzy Williams & Her Solid Senders. 8pm. Sat The Hollywood Hound Dogs. 8pm. Sun GrooveSession. 7pm. Tues Jetpacks & Laser Guns. 9pm. Wed Open jam with Geno’s Standard Band. 8pm. 502 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.447.6700; www. hipkittyjazz.com. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. Every Wed Live Music. 9pm. Every Thurs Live Entertainment/Hawaiian Reggae. 9pm. Every Fri Hawaiian Music. 5pm. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www.kealohas.com. LA CREPERIE. Every Fri-Sat Jazz Night. 7pm-10pm. 3968 Grand Ave., Chino, 909.342.6016; www. lacreperiecafe.net. LEWIS FAMILY PLAYHOUSE. Sun Count Basie Tribute with Yve Evans and the All Star Big Band. 3pm. 12505 Cultural Center Dr., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.477.2752; www.lewisfamilyplayhouse.com. M15. Sat Metal Fest 4. 3pm. 9022 Pulsar Ct. #H, Corona, 951.200.4465; www.m15concerts.com. MACHINE POMONA. Every 1st and 3rd Wed Open Mic Night. 273 S. Park Ave., Pomona, 909.766.0357; www.machinepomona.com. MALOOF FOUNDATION. Sun John Bilezikjian; Amadou. 1pm. 5131 Carnelian St., Alta Loma, 909.980.0412. MARDI GRAS RESTAURANT. Every Sat Jeff Chaz Blues Band. 7pm. 201 N. E St., San Bernardino,

909.884.5000; www.mardigras-restaurant.com. MARGARITAS RESTAURANT. Every Sun Live Music. 10:30am. 1000 E Tahquitz Canyon Rd., Palm Springs, 760.778.3500; www.margaritasrestaurant.net. MARIO’S PLACE. Every Fri & Sat Live Music. 10pm-1am. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www. mariosplace.com. PLUM HOUSE COFFEE CLUB. Every Fri, Sat & Tues Open Mic. Night. 6pm. 3882 12th St., Riverside, 951.784.1369; www.myspace.com/theplumhouse. REDLANDS UNDERGROUND. Every Mon Open mic night hosted by Shaina Turian. 9:30pm. 19 E. Citrus, Redlands, 909.798.1500; www. redlandsunderground.com. ROMANO’S CONCERT LOUNGE. Every Wed Open Mic Night. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Riverside, 951.781.7662; www.theconcertlounge.com. SCRIPPS COLLEGE. Fri Friday Noon Concert. 12:15pm. Balch Auditorium, 1030 Columbia Ave., Claremont, 909.985.8092; www.scrippscollege.edu. SORREL BISTRO. Every First Fri Therapy feat. Live music and art. 41377 Margarita Rd., Suite F-108, Temecula, 951.296-3372; www.sorrelbistro.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Every Fri Live music. 9pm. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www.sportswatchbarandgrill.com. THE UPSIDEDOWN BAR. Every Thurs Live reggae. Every Fri Live rock music. Every Sat 80s Night. 10555 Mills Ave., Montclair, 909.626.9091; www. upsidedownbar.com. 21+. WOMAN’S CLUB OF CLAREMONT. Un Ballo in Maschera. 2pm & 7:30pm. 343 W. Twelfth St., Claremont, 855.575.0005; www.vtopera.org.

UPcoming THE LOUNGE TRIO, Hip Kitty Jazz & Fondue, Oct. 10. AN EVENING WITH JOHN ASTIN, Lewis Family Playhouse, Oct. 11. FREAKY FRIDAY FEAT. ECLIPSE, M15 Concert Lounge, Oct. 11. LIL A & THE ALLNIGHTERS, Hip Kitty Jazz & Fondue, Oct. 11. WARPAINT, The Glass House, Oct. 11. ATOMIC PUNKS, Fantasy Springs, Oct. 12. BEATLES VS. STONES, M15 Concert Lounge, Oct. 12. ERIC LINDHOLM WITH GWENDOLYN LYTLE, Bridges Hall of Music, Oct. 12. REGGAE SATURDAY BRUNCH, M15 Concert Lounge, Oct. 12. SUGAH DADDY, Hip Kitty Jazz & Fondue, Oct. 12. ALICE RUSSELL, The Glass House, Oct. 13. ERIC LINDHOLM WITH GWENDOLYN LYTLE, Bridges Hall of Music, Oct. 13. THE HAPPINESS JAZZ BAND, Hip Kitty Jazz & Fondue, Oct. 13. PRIMAL SCREAM, The Glass House, Oct. 14. IREESH LAL, Hip Kitty Jazz & Fondue, Oct. 15. RAZZLE BAM BOOM, Steelworkers’ Auditorium, Oct. 15.

BARS & LOUNGES 2ND AVENUE SALOON & SPORTS BAR. Come on, rack ‘em up, right over here! There’s pizza, too. SunThurs Free pool all day. Fri-Sat Free pool until 7pm. 271 N. 2nd Ave., Upland, 909.946.1750. 12TH FLOOR WINE BAR & COCKTAIL LOUNGE. We’ve been told that this Fantasy Springs location is picturesque. Just imagine what you can see from the 12th floor! Fri Weekly Wine Down tastings. 7pm-9pm. $30. 84-245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 800.827.2946; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. 26 DEGREES. Cold beer, hot girls, great food, good times! Tues Ladies night. Wed & Thurs Karaoke. Happy hour, daily 3pm-7pm. 1535 E. Ontario Ave. #101, Corona, 951.734.1900. 135 EAST. This is the newest lounge bar on the block that not only has an extensive dining menu and plenty of musical events to choose from but you’re also confronted with one of the most difficult decisions: choosing from one of their 135 different martinis. Happy Hour: Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm. 2 for 1 beers and well drinks. 1/2 off appetizers. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. 340 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB. Every Fri-Sat 2-4-1 drinks 7pm-9pm. Every Sun All drinks 2-4-1, 7pm-9pm. Open drag contest hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race All Star Raven, 9:30pm. TIGERHEAT presents LOUD! 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.865.9340; www.340nightclub.com. ALIBI EAST. The bar’s website states that it’s all new and even “industrial strength.” Sun Beer Bust. $1.50 domestic drafts, $1 tacos. 3pm-9pm. Mon “M” Madness Mondays. Any “m” drink for $5. Tues Karaoke. 9pm-1am. Wed Happy hour all day. Thurs $3-$4-$5 drafts and wells. Fri $2 domestic bottles. 9pm. 225 S. San Antonio Ave., Pomona, 909.623.9422; www.alibieast.com.

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar

Joe Rogan

Fri, Oct. 4 - Sun, Oct. 6

Photo by Joshua Heges

The stunts you are about to see are extremely dangerous and should not be performed by anyone at anytime, anywhere. . . wait—no, this isn’t Fear Factor. This hit reality T.V. show that Joe Rogan was famous for hosting involved people facing their fears from heights to exotic and disgusting foods. He is also well-known for hosting his popular podcast The Joe Rogan Experience, where he and his co-host cover a wide range of interesting topics. He also known for sharing his love for martial arts as a commentator for UFC. Rogan’s hosting career is not all that is impressive—he can kick ass as well. At the age of 19, Rogan won the U.S. Open Grand Championship for Tae Kwon Do. Beyond the stunts and martial arts, Rogan has been performing stand-up comedy for over 20 years as a top bill performer and it is common for him to sell out comedy shows both nationally and internationally. His comedic personality has been described as a “hippy stuck inside the body of a testosterone-pumped U.S. Marine.” Audiences can expect nothing short of raw honesty wrapped in his liberal comedic perspective—it is both entertaining and thought provoking as Rogan takes on topics like martial arts, fighting, family life, drugs and politics. At this show you are sure to gain intriguing new perspectives, while having good times and lots of laughter—and no one has to eat cow brains. (Dulce Balandran) IE Ontario Improv Comedy Club, 4555 Mills Cir., Ontario, (909) 484-5411; Ontario.improv.com; Various Times. $25.

“Recent Devotional Paintings” Thru Nov. 22

Riverside City College presents “Recent Devotional Paintings,” an exclusive exhibit by the talented New Zealand native Matthew Couper. A self-proclaimed “journeyman,” Couper was making art for over a decade before settling in Las Vegas in 2010. Since making the move across the globe, Couper has been consistently showing exhibits full of exciting and thought-provoking imagery, and “Recent Devotional Paintings” is no exception. Curated by John Seed, this exhibit is an ode to Spanish Colonial paintings, which proves to be the main influence behind Couper’s artwork. His pieces on display are a current interpretation of the political and religious clashes of the Spanish renaissance that used canvases to tell narratives throughout time. Couper uses layers to build his paintings, all Contemporary Burdens while being mindful of the traditional symbolism, colors and objects that represent the Spanish Colonial era. The exciting twist is that he uses traditional symbols to represent current narratives, an original technique that Couper has mastered. The paintings are primarily oil on canvas with the exhibit featuring “ex-voto” paintings on metal—ex-voto paintings were primarily used to give thanks or seek help from religious saints, and they were often found in churches and chapels. Mixing traditional symbols with current narratives, and his bold use of oil paint and metals, “Recent Devotional Paintings” is a true testimony to its title: “A Telling of Gratitude in the Modern World.” (Aida Solomon) IE Riverside City College Art Gallery, 4800 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, (951) 2228358; academic.rcc.edu/art/exhibitions.jsp.

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

ART’S BAR & GRILL. Over 50 varieties of cold beer, right here! Tues Taco Tuesdays, 75 cent tacos. 3357 University Ave., Riverside, 951.683.9520. BACK DOOR. Just a regular little ol’ bar with a juke, pool table, darts and Monday Night Football, if it’s on (and in season). 1250 E. Mission Blvd., Pomona, 909.622.6282. BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Tues Open mic music night. 7pm. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www.back2thegrind.com. BARNACLES SPORTS BAR. They’ve got plenty of specialty drinks that will turn your calm evening of enjoying live music and good food into the night of your life! Happy Hour: 3pm-7pm. Every Tues and Thurs Karaoke. Every Wed Free jukebox. 6pm-9pm. 1936 Mentone Blvd., Mentone, 909.794.5851; www. barnaclessportsbar.com. BIG CHEESE PIZZA CO. Sun Swerve Sundays, $5 with student ID, $10 cover, $20 Vip patio. Ladies free before 10pm. 3397 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 888.784.0555; www.thebigcheesepiza.com. BLACK HORSE TAVERN. This recently remodeled Norco hangout has ten beers on tap and daily lunch specials. Happy Hour food and drink specials Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm; all day Sun. 1825 Hamner Ave. #A, Norco, 951.278.2771. BLACK WATCH PUB. An Upland staple featuring plenty of regulars and plenty of folks just there for the live music, which happens every weekend. Thurs Darts. Fri-Sat Live bands. 497-B N. Central Ave., Upland, 909.981.6069; www.myspace.com/ blackwatchpub. BLU BAR & GRILL. Located inside the Hilton Ontario Airport, this stop features a ton of drink specials, from drafts and wells to wines and much more. (There are food specials, too.) Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 4pm-6pm. 700 N. Haven Ave., Ontario, 909.980.0400. THE BOILER ROOM. Happy Hour, Tues-Sat, 7pm10pm. 345 5th St., Redlands, 909.792.8855; www. theboilerroom.com. BOONDOCKS. It was the new bar in town. (That is, until the next one opened.) Thurs Karaoke. Fri Live bands. Sat Karaoke. Sun Open mic night. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed Industry night. 100 E. Harrison, Corona, 951.739.0646; www.myspace.com/ boondockscorona. BRANDIN’ IRON. California’s longest running honkytonk, since 1969. Brassy, classy authentic saloon and restaurant, with a huge maple dance floor to scoot your boots. 18+ unless otherwise noted. Thurs World Famous $1.50 U-Call-Its, $2.50 domestics. 5pm-2am. Fri Ladies Night. $1 drafts, $2.50 wells. 7pm9pm.18+. Sat Dollar Saturday, $1 drafts, 2.50 wells. 6pm-2am. Tues $1 Taco Night. 6pm-1am. Wed College Night. No cover with college/military ID. 7pm-11pm. $1 Drafts, $2 Well Drinks, $2 longnecks. Happy Hour: Tues, 6pm-1am, Wed, 7pm-3am, Thurs, 5pm-2am, Fri, 7pm-9pm, Sat, 6pm-9pm. 320 S. E St., San Bernardino, 909.888.7388; www.brandinironsaloon.com. THE BULLDOG PUB. Mon Comedy Night. Tues Pub Quiz. Wed Open Mic Night. Fri Karaoke. 9pm. 1667 Mountain Ave. #117, Upland, 909.946.6614. cACTUS CANTINA. Plenty of frozen specialty drinks to keep you coming back to their drink menu (there’s some good grub, too). Mon-Fri Food specials & happy hour. 3pm-6pm. 151 E. Alessandro Blvd., Riverside, 951.789.0211; www.cactuscantina. org. CADILLAC RANCH. Everything you could possibly want in a bar: karaoke, featured days; heck if you pay them they’ll even call a limo to come pick you up. Sat Karaoke Party. 9pm. Every Mon Football party 5pm. 22581 Outer Hwy. 18, Apple Valley, 760.247.7060; www.cadillacranchav.com. CANCUN BAR & GRILL. It’s a Dance club, fine dining and sports bar: Cancun Bar & Grill has it all! Daily food and drink specials. Not to mention the massive beer and liquor selection available. Thirty flat screens cover the walls with awesome surround sound. Plus free pool from 4pm -11pm. 801 Tri City Center Dr., Redlands. 909.798.5400. CAPRI LOUNGE. Just a nice local bar. Really. Ask them. We did. 1355 E. 4th St., Ontario, 909.984.5405. CARNAVAL NIGHTCLUB. You’re ideal club, completing your night of dancing and rockin music that tricks you into thinking you’re somewhere in Rio. 342 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.623.6600; www. carnavalclub.com. CASA 425. A gorgeous and rather hip hotel in the western half of Claremont’s Village, with a lovely lounge to boot. Sun-Thurs Happy hour with drink specials. 4pm-7pm. 425 W. 1st St., Claremont, 866.450.0425; www.casa425.com. CHAPARRAL LIVE ROOM. It’s no longer just another bar in a bowling alley, as the Live Room’s now a full-scale nightclub with a dance floor, pool tables, hi-def TVs, darts, nightly drink specials and food! Thurs, Sat & Sun Live music. Fri Karaoke. Wed Strike Lounge. 8pm. 400 W. Bonita Ave., San Dimas, 909.592.2772; www.chaparralliveroom.com. CHAPPIE’S. Its St. Patrick’s Day all year long at this lounge pub that doesn’t have pool tables but does have two golfing machines and dart boards. Live bands, occasionally. Thurs, Sat & Sun Live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 7am-10am & 4pm-6pm. Mon &

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Tues Karaoke. Wed DJ. 229 E. Florida Ave., Hemet, 951.658.3410. CHARACTERS. Located in downtown Pomona’s Antique Row/Arts & Music Colony, this bar features pool tables, darts and live sports. There’s also live music and DJs in the outdoor patio. Thurs Ladies Night. Drink specials. Fri-Sat Live bands. Sun Karaoke. 9pm. 276 E. 1st St., Pomona, 909.622.9070; www.characterspomona.com. CHERP’S COCKTAILS. Go here, if only to find out who or what Cherp is. Mon-Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-6pm. 8627 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.823.1234. CHULAS RESTAURANT & SPORTS BAR. Fri Karaoke. 9pm. Every 1st, 3rd & 5th Fri Funky Fridays. DJ/ dancing. Top 40 hits. 401 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.391.1000; www.mtnchulas.com. CITIZENS BUSINESS BANK ARENA, Sun Cantares Corp Presenta Joan Sebastian; Ezequiel Pena. 7pm. 4000 E. Ontario Center Pkwy., Ontario. 909.244.5500; www.cbbankarena.com CLOVER CLUB. Pool tables and all that usual bar stuff. Fri & Sat Karaoke. 8pm. 25570 Baseline St., San Bernardino, 909.884.8363. CORRAL BAR & GRILL. Dining, sports and all the UFC events your eyes can handle! Mon-Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-7pm. 12345 S. Mountain Ave. #2, Chino, 909.613.5995. COYOTE BEACH. Featuring some of the best BBQ around, plus don’t miss the pool tables and air hockey. Open Tues-Sat, 4pm. Fri-Sat DJ Dance night. Tues Taco Tuesdays, $1 tacos. Tues & Wed Free pool. Wed Karaoke. 8pm. 835 N. Main St., Corona, 951.371.2225. DBA256 GALLERY.WINE BAR. Ritzy and sophisticated, this comfy wine bar doubles as an art gallery with rotating monthly exhibits. Mon, Wed, Thurs & Fri Happy Hour. 3pm-6pm. Wine tasting daily. 6pm-9pm. 256 S. Main St., Pomona, 909.623.7600; www.dba256.com. DEMPSEY’S SPORTS BAR & GRILL. As the flier says, it’s a whole new ball game in Corona. Big screen TVs are showing all your favorite teams. (We love the Clippers!) Thurs Ladies Night. Live DJs. Tues Comedy Night. Wed-Fri Live bands. Happy hour, 4pm-7pm. 511 N. Main St. #105, Corona, 951.270.0152; www. dempseyssportsbar.com. DUKE’S BAR & GRILL. Great food, flat screens, sports, music, dancing and more. Not to mention the intense Karaoke contests. Happy hour every day, 4pm-6pm. Every Wed Karaoke. 9pm. 3221 Iowa Ave., Riverside, 951.248.1143. ELGIN & FAGAN. Sun-Wed Free pool. 3pm-2am. Mon Guys Night. $2.50 domestic bottles for guys. 6pm2am. Wed Ladies Night. $2.50 wells for ladies. 6pm2am. Happy hour: daily, 3pm-6pm. 336 W. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, 909.883.8171. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. The Empire knows what’s up! Cheap drinks, tasty finger foods, five TVs, free pool and free parking. Not to mention a pretty sweet sound system, dance floor and plenty of live music and DJs to go around! Happy hour: Mon-Sat 4pm-8pm. Half-off all beers & mix drinks. Every Mon Swag Promotions. 8pm-10pm. Open Mic 10pm-2am. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www. empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. EVENTS BAR & GRILL. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed, Sat & Sun Drink specials. Happy hour, 11am-7pm. 16560 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.352.2693. FINISH LINE BAR & GRILL. Let’s put the emphasis on sports with this sports bar and grill, featuring racingthemed memorabilia, fitting for its positioning somewhere between a horse racing track and a drag strip. Wagering, lotsa TVs and, of course, plenty of food and drink, too. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 5pm-7:30pm. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed Karaoke. 2201 N. White Ave., Gate 12, Pomona, 909.865.4154; www.fairplex.com/flsg. THE FLAMINGO. A staple of the Redlands bar scene—which, in the I.E., means that there are a few bars within walking distance of each other. The often-mistakenly-called Pink Flamingo is your classic neighborhood bar that’s been open for years. Tues Karaoke. 10pm. 338 Orange St., Redlands, 909.792.9917. FOX BAR & GRILL. A hotspot in downtown Pomona right next to the historic Fox Theater, featuring 36 flat screen TVs, live entertainment and all sorts of good grub and daily specials. Happy Hour, Mon-Fri, 5pm8pm; Sat-Sun, 11am-8pm. 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3671. GALLI’S RESTAURANT & BAR. This nice little place keeps it lively every day of the week. Sun & Tues Karaoke. 7pm. 6620 Carnelian St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.941.1100; www.gallis.net. FRIAR TUCKS. Open for well over a decade, Tucks is all about supporting live music. From punk rock and reggae to drum & bass, the tunes are always bumpin’ in this Pomona landmark castle. Happy hour, 4pm-7pm. 540 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, 909.625.7265; www.myspace.com/friarsus. GRAZIANO’S SPORTS BAR. Sat Karaoke. 8pm. Mon-Fri Happy hour, 3pm-7pm. Wed Karaoke. 1615 Mountain Ave., Upland, 909.981.2924. THE GREEN FROG. Guess what? That’s right! Pool tables and a juke. Fri Live bands. Wed Comedy night. 27212 Baseline St., Highland, 909.864.6169.

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar HANGAR 24 CRAFT BREWERY. Sick of not getting fresh beer? Well, folks, this is fresh beer, as in made right before your very own eyes. Pale Ale or an Orange Wheat, anyone? Tasting hours Mon-Fri, 11am-9pm. 1710 Sessums Dr., Redlands, 909.389.1400; www.hangar24brewery.com HARD HATS. They have your favorite game or race on the large screen satellite TVs, NFL Sunday Ticket, pool, games and an exclusive smoking room. Last Wed of every month Lingerie Party. You can get your beer from a chick in a bikini or lacy under-things. (Not sure if you have to wear the lingerie yourself.) 1950 S. Four Wheel Dr., Norco, 951.734.0276; www.clubzone.com. HAROLD’S SALOON. Hey, they got some of them pool tables here—and some chilly-willy beer! What more do you need? Just a life-sized pig in the corner. 3834 Megginson Ln., Riverside; 951.359.5261. HI-BROW. Probably one of the coolest “dive” bars anywhere because it actually hasn’t been overrun with poser Joe Cools, instead catering to the upand-coming generation of hapless barflies. Open 365 days a year—which means you really don’t have to sit through an entire Christmas dinner with your relatives. 547 E. Foothill Blvd., Pomona, 909.626.9340. Hideaway. Oh, yeah. Pool, juke and some sweet, sweet sounds of Ernie the Mailman singin’ the Everly Brothers. Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. Sun Free pool. 32392 Mission Trail, Lake Elsinore, 951.245.4919. HIP KITTY JAZZ & FONDUE. A swanky little joint with great bar and a beautiful stage featuring live jazz most nights. Open Tues-Sun, 6:30pm-2am. 502 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.447.6700; www.hipkittyjazz.com. THE HOOKUP. Neighborhoody gay bar with a juke, pool table and a restaurant in back. Thurs Pool tournament. 8pm. Sat-Sun Specials. 10am-2pm. Sun Beer Bust. 3pm-8pm. Wed Karaoke! 8pm. 1047 E. 2nd St., Pomona, 909.620.2844; www.hook-up.net. JOE’S BAR & GRILL. “The fun flows from your head to your toes when you party at Joe’s.” I’m mad that I didn’t write that catchphrase myself. Thurs Family Karaoke Night. 7:30pm-11:30pm. Fri Rockin’ Karaoke Night. 10pm-2am. Sat Live bands. 10pm. Sun Champagne Brunch. 10am-2pm. Tues Taco Night. Wed Spaghetti Night. 10909 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.637.3931. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. This authentic

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Hawaiian restaurant is unlike any L&L Hawaiian Barbeque you’ve ever had. Not to mention their very own Mai Tai Lounge this features some neat drink specials. Mon Game Night. Tues Karaoke. 9pm. Wed Ladies Night feat. food and drink specials for the ladies. Mon-Sat Happy hour. 2pm-7pm. Late Night Happy hour. 9pm-close. Sun Happy hour. 2pm-6pm. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www. kealohas.com. KELLY’S SPORTS BAR & BILLIARDS. Yep, they’ve got the sports, the pool table and some live music to rock the house, too. Have fun. Mon-Thurs Happy hour. 10pm-1am. Fri-Sat Karaoke. 5402 Philadelphia Ave., Chino, 909.591.8770. KICKS SPORTS PUB. All the sports and all the pub you’ve ever wanted, in the heart of downtown Fontana. Thurs Kamikazes. $1.50 all night. Fri-Sat Karaoke & drink specials. 9pm-1:45am. Sun Pool Tournament. 4pm. Tues Ladies Night. Shots $1 off. $6 pitchers. Wed Tequila Wednesdays. Happy hour, 10am-12pm, 5pm-7pm. 16788 Arrow Blvd., Fontana, 909.350.1160. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, RIVERSIDE. Every Wed Geeks Who Drink Live Trivia. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. #532, Riverside, 951.682.2933; www.killarneys.com. KIM’S SPORTS BAR. Nearly a dozen beers on tap and over a hundred varieties of liquor for your drinkin’ pleasure. Plus, enough TVs to ensure no game goes missed. Happy hour daily, 3pm-7pm. Tues Karaoke. 9pm. Thurs Bike Night. 6pm. 2994 Rubidoux Blvd., Riverside, 951.686.2200. KNOCKERS SPORTS BAR. Don’tcha just love the name? Gotta have a little excitement with your drinks. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. 5363 Arrow Hwy., Montclair, 909.445.0301. LAKE ALICE TRADING CO. “The Lake” has been around forever, and offers a sports bar scene with something for everyone: pinball, plasma screen TVs and live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. Fri-Sat Live bands. Mon Monday Night Football. Tues Taco Tuesday, beer pong, free pool. Wed Live bands. 3616 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.7343; www.lakealicetradingco. com. LIAM’S IRISH PUB The local Cheers of Colton! Come down for live music, karaoke, comedy and their 38 beers on tap - and you have to at least try the Leprechaun Nuts! Sun, Mon & Thurs. Karaoke. Tues Comedy Night with $1 tacos and $3 Corona. Wed. Free pool. Everyday. Happy hour. 11am-6:30pm. 1087 S. Mt. Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900; www. liamsirishpub.com. LIMERICKS TAVERN. This neat place sports cool wooden décor and about 15 TVs! Try out some Irish Nachos and watch your favorite sport or well, watch multiple sports at the same time because you totally can. Happy Hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-6pm. 99 cent Draft when you buy one at regular price. 1234 West Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.920.5630. LIT. It’s Fantasy Springs newest bar and lounge (formerly known as the “Fantasy Lounge”). Fri-Sat Live bands. 9pm. 84245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 760.342.5000; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. THE LOUNGE. The drink specials here start at 6 a.m. Yeah, what are you doing at that time of the morning anyways? Downing a glass of milk with your toast or something? Happy hour daily, 4pm-7pm. Sunday $2.50 Yager Shot. $4 Yager Bomb. Tues $1.75 Budlights. Every Thurs Karaoke. 9pm. 1125 W. 6th St., Corona, 951.808.9122; www. theloungebarcorona.com. LOUNGE 33. Legendary martinis, right here! (The Brooklyn Filthy Martini is sort of like the Amy Winehouse of cocktails—it might be a mess, but definitely worth a try.) Sun Karaoke. Mon-Thurs Happy hour. 4pm-7pm. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr., Riverside, 951.784.4433; www.loungethirtythree. com. LULU’S HIDEOUT. Well, Little Lulu certainly has her ears full with karaoke seven nights a week! Yep, karaoke every day! Mon-Sat Happy hour. 4pm-7pm. 1958 W. Rialto Ave., San Bernardino, 909.884.3244. M15. Your one stop spot for one awesome mix of both cover and up and coming bands. Every Fri ’80s Night. $5 cover. $3 domestic drafts, $5 skinny girl margaritas, $3 gummy bear shots. Every Sun Sunday Night ComedI.E. $15. 1/2 off appetizers, $3 domestic drafts. 9022 Pulsar Ct. #H, Corona, 951.200.4465; www.m15concerts.com. MARIO’S PLACE. Northern Italian Cuisine, weekend music and specialty drinks? I’m in. Fri $4 Selected Craft Beers. 9pm. Sat Specialty Cocktail. Classic Rock and Funk music. $3 off each drink on list. 9pm. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www. mariosplace.com. MARQUIS COCKTAIL LOUNGE. The other happiest place on Earth, it’s the perfect hangout for a couple drinks and a fine dine. Booze ‘n’ meat…it’s what’s for dinner! Fri-Sat DJs & live music. 9pm. 1036 W. Highland Ave., San Bernardino, 909.882.9342. THE MAVERICK. If you’re at a saloon, and it’s in Norco, chances are you’re in the right spot for some country and western music action. SunThurs Karaoke 8pm-2am. Fri-Sat Live music 9pm-2am. Tues-Thurs $1 tacos. Happy hour Sun-Sat, 2pm-7pm.

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3841 Old Hamner, Norco. 951.734.6640. www. mavericksaloonnorco.com. MCALAN’S PUB & GRILL. Great food with bands and Top 40 playing weekends. Thurs Live music. 9pm. Tues Taco Tuesdays. Wed $5 Steak Night. 5pm. 6321 Haven Ave., Alta Loma, 909.484.7847. MENACE MOTORCYCLE BAR & GRILL. We’re wondering what the dudes who ride their 1200cc Harleys to this place think of our sputtering 49cc mopeds. (They’re probably cool with ‘em.) Wellknown for their BBQ along the Ortega Highway. Thurs Karaoke 7pm. Fri-Sun Live music. 8pm. 15573 Grand Ave., Lake Elsinore, 951.609.0555; www. menacesportsbarandgrill.com. THE MENAGERIE. We heard this petite, gay dance club isn’t for old geezers anymore, as it was back in the ‘80s. Drag nights and ‘80s nights are part of the weekly fare. Mon Karaoke. 8pm. Drink specials Mon-Fri. 3581 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.8000; www.clubmenagerie.com. MIGUEL’S CALIFORNIA MEXICAN COCINA & CANTINA. This family-owned joint actually has three locations and their margaritas are stuff of straight legend. 1920 Frontage Rd., Corona, 951.520.8911; www.miguelsrestaurant.com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Offering live music seven nights a week, plus a world-class selection of cigars in a climate-controlled walk-in humidor, and a secluded smoking lounge. Of course, there’s a full bar with lunch and dinner menus, too. Thurs I Luv Dubstep, 1/2 price drinks from 10pm-1am. Tues $2 Tuesdays. $2 Well drinks. $2.50 Domestic drafts. Wed $7 PBR tall can and whiskey shot. Summertime happy hour every day, 11am-7pm, $3 domestics and wells, $4 imports, $5 top shelf liquor. “The Pre-Game,” every day, 8pm-10pm. $2 domestic bottles, $3 wells. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www.missiontobaccolounge.com. Morgan’s Tavern. Tues Free pool. Sun Drink specials. 4850 Tyler Ave., Riverside, 951.785.6775. MORONGO CASINO RESORT & SPA. You’ve already got a perfect gamblin’ spot in Cabazon, what more could you possibly want? Oh that’s right, the recent arrival of an amazing Mexican food restaurant called Tacos & Tequila. Drink up, pig out. $5 food and drink happy hour, 2pm-6pm & 9pmclose. every day. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www.morongocasinoresort.com. MU RESTAURANT. Every Sat Electro Nights. 309 W. State St., Redlands, 909.798.7747; www.mumartini. com. THE MUSIC ROOM. Thurs & Sun Free pool. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-10pm. 4360 N. Sierra Way, San Bernardino, 909.883.6513. THE OFFICE SALOON. Originally known as Flashbacks, this place has taken a complete 360 with more flat screens added to the mix, including one 150 inch big screen and the added DIRECTV content. Not to mention the newly added stage, dance floor and weekend live music. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. Drink specials. 123 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.884.3088. OASIS NIGHT CLUB. Every Fri-Sat $3 drink specials. Entrance free until 9pm. Every Sun Drag Idol, 18+. Every Wed $3 U-Call-Its all night, $4 premiums. 50% off food menu 10pm-1am. 1386 E. Foothill Blvd., Upland, 909.920.9590; www. oasisnightclubupland.com. O’HARA’S COCKTAIL LOUNGE. So, we know this totally sounds like an Irish pub, but guess what? It’s just a regular ol’ bar! What the hell’s the world coming to? Thurs Karaoke. Mon Free pool. Wed Free darts. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-7pm. 15788 Grand Ave., Lake Elsinore, 951.678.3512. O’LEARY’S IRISH PUB. The luck of the Irish is here, with pool tables, darts, shuffleboard and sports viewing. 142 S. Riverside Dr., Rialto, 909.875.3717. OMOKASE. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm-6pm; Sat, 8pm-close. 8220 Haven Ave. #102, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.941.4111; www.omokase.com. PAPPY & HARRIET’S. Mon Ted Quinn’s Open Mic Night. 7pm. 53688 Pioneertown Rd., Pioneertown, 760.365.5956; www.pappyandharriets.com. PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Pepe’s has got all the right ingredients for a good time: sizzling hot Mexican dishes, live music and plenty of food and drink specials. You can’t deny the place its dues; the restaurant has been “having fun since 1971!” Every Fri Karaoke. Every Tues Taco Tuesdays. Every Wed MargaRITa Wednesdays. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PEPITO’S. Nothing says authentic Mexican food like a big screen TV and a pool table. But you can actually learn something here—each booth has two pictures that tell a story of Mexican life and history. Happy hour, Mon-Fri, 4pm-7pm. 6539 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.788.2652. PLAYERS BAR & GRILL. Players plays host to some of the best pool players in the nation before they head off to Vegas for the Nationals. If you think you’ve got game, show up for one of the tournaments. Free pool every day until 7pm. Fri-Sun Karaoke. 9pm. Mon-Fri Drink specials. 5pm-7pm. 11001 Central Ave., Ontario, 909.628.8495. RA SUSHI. Check out this great sushi stop, full with unique rolls to satisfying any sushi fan. Happy hour Mon-Sat, 3pm-7pm; Sun, 8pm-12pm. 2785 Cabot Dr., Corona, 951.277.7491; www.rasushi.com. 13925 City Center Dr., Chino Hills, 909.902.0044; www. rasushi.com. RACKS BILLIARDS AND BOURBON. Plenty of bands have been known to play at Racks. Additionally

they have live DJs, beer pong, keno, six pool tables, dart boards, a dance floor, smoking room and all new food menu! Pluas, they show every NFL game of five big screens and 20 TVs. 1650 E. Sixth St., Corona, 951.371.9738; facebook.com/ racksbilliardsandbourbon. RED FOX BAR. If you’re looking for a place to have a few drinks and hang out then this joint is perfect. With Thurs College Night, Drink Specials. Sun Free Pool. 10am-6pm. $3 Wells. $2.50 domestic beer. Tues Ladies Night, drink specials. Wed Free Pool. 10pa-6pm. Mon-Fri Drink Specials. 3142 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.882.9337; www.facebook.com/redfoxsb. REVOLUTION RESTAURANT & NIGHT LIFE. Restaurant’s open weekdays, 11am-7pm. Thurs $2 drafts, $5 teas, $4 Captains. Fri Buy two drinks and a meal, get second meal free. Mon $2 Dos Equis, $2 Bud Light, $4 Micheladas. Tues 50 cent tacos, $3 Mexican beers, $4 margaritas. Wed 25 cent wings, $3 bottled beers. Happy Hour: 11am-7pm. 1327 W. Colton Ave., Redlands, 909.335.9700. THE RIVER LOUNGE. Sat Live music. Drink specials all night. $2 shots, $4 wells. 9608 Mission Blvd., Riverside, 951.685.5383. Rob Kelly’s After Five Cocktail Lounge. Kelly’s got the pool, darts and juke to keep you satisfied. Thurs & Tues Karaoke. Wed Ladies night. 133 N. Harvard St., Hemet, 951.652.5300. ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Every Tues Team Trivia. 8pm. Every Thurs Jukebox Thursday. 9pm. 14700 Pipeline Ave., Chino Hills, 909.597.3304; www. roscoesfamousdeli.com. ROYAL FALCONER BRITISH PUB. There’s the atmosphere: dark décor, long and stately bar and British memorabilia. There’s the food: Scottish eggs, bangers and mash, steak and kidney pie. And then there’s the beer: 20 different beers on tap and another 30 varieties in bottles. Bloody marvelous! Thurs Karaoke. 8pm. Tues LGBT Community & Supporters Night. 9pm. Happy hour Mon-Fri, 4pm6pm. 106 Orange St., Redlands, 909.307.8913; www. royalfalconer.com. RUMORS. A beer and wine bar that proves you can still butcher Elvis songs without shooting tequila first. Fri-Sat Karaoke. 8:30pm. 1125 Calimesa Blvd., Calimesa, 909.795.4808. SADDLE SORE SALOON. Hey cowboy, this place’s one of Norco’s finest drink and dance spots. Happy hour daily, 3pm-6pm. 343 6th St., Norco, 951.272.8283; www.myspace.com/saddlesoresaloon. SCREAMING CHICKEN SALOON. You better be a biker, or at least like them, when you check out this joint. We already give it our “coolest name ever” award. 18169 Cajon Blvd., San Bernardino, 909.880.0056. SHAMROCKS GRILLE & PUB. Feelin’ lucky? Try your Irish on for size over here. Tues, Fri & Sat Live entertainment. Mon Karaoke. Tues Taco Tuesday. Wed Luck of the Irish Drink Specials. 4020-B Chino Hills Pkwy., Chino Hills, 909.597.8333; www.myspace. com/shamrocksbar. SIMPLICITEA. Your quaint little tea shop with every bit of relaxing herb drinks you can imagine. Every Sat 2-4-1 Student Night. 6pm-8pm. Excludes Merchandise. 7890 Haven Ave., Suite 11, Rancho Cucamonga, 909.917.8600; www.facebook.com/simplicitea. SKYFOX LOUNGE. You don’t have to drive to Hollywood to get that modern day club vibe, which is exactly the atmosphere that Sky Fox boasts. A short drive to Pomona and you’re living it up with professional DJs and an awesome club experience. Every Thurs Rock it! Awesome 80s, Indie, and Electro music. Every Fri Access Fridays with Hip-hop, Mashups, Electro. Every Sat Skyfox Saturdays feat. Top 40, Hip-hop, House. Dress Code strictly enforced. 345 Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3674; www. skyfoxpomona.com. THE SPORTSMAN BAR. It’s one of our favorite stops when we’re rollin’ down Temescal Canyon. Knock back a cold one in style! Happy hour Mon-Fri, 3pm6pm. Smoking patio available. 21779 Temescal Cyn., Corona, 951.277.9786; www.facebook.com/pages/ The-Sportsman-Bar/115557245137996. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Any bar with the words “sports” and “watch” in its name is bound to be the go-to place for the communal viewing of American athletics. Paired with weekly deals of pizza and delicious chicken wings, you’ve got everything you need to make each day feel like Super Bowl Sunday. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 3PM-6PM. Mon-Thurs, 10PM-close. Thurs $3.75 Pint Night, 3PM-8PM. Three for $5 street tacos. Fri Live music. 9PM. Sat .65 cent wings, 11AM-5PM. Sun Recovery Sundays $4 Bloody Marys, champagne cocktails and michiladas. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www. sportswatchbarandgrill.com. SUSHI KAWA. Innovative and refreshing rolls are something you tastebuds can’t help but crave. Add a few flat screens to the mix for entertainment value and you’ve got the best sushi bar ever. “Lady Bartenders” are certainly a plus, too. Happy hour: Everyday, 3pm-7pm. Sat Drink specials. $4 Well Drinks, $3 House Wine, $9.95 60oz Beer Pitcher. 469 Magnolia Ave., Ste. 101, Corona, 951.280.0398. TORO SUSHI BAR. Every 2nd Wed Way Back Wednesdays. Hosted by Money B. No cover. 9pm. 1520 N. Mountain Ave., Ontario, 909.983.8676; www. waybackwednesdays.net. VIP CLUB. This gay hot spot is not your grandma’s bar/nightclub. Open 3pm-2am. Call for cover. 18+. Thurs, Sun & Tues Karaoke. 9pm-1am. 3673 Merrill Ave., Riverside, 951.784.2370; www.vip-nightclub.com. VIVE TEQUILA LOUNGE AND NIGHTCLUB. If you seek

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar a lounge for Mature guests then this might be what you’ve been searchin’ for. The ultimate meet spot for ladies 21 and older (and men 25 and older according to their site) is the perfect place to grab a uniquely mixed drink and meet someone new. There’s plenty of room for dancing and high ceilings that will make you feel like you’re partying it up somewhere in New York. Thurs-Sun Night Club Dancing. 184 W. Third St.

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Pomona, 909.622.2020; www.vivelounge.com. WATER WHEEL SALOON. Sun Happy hour all day. Mon Spin the Wheel, $1 Pizza Night and free pool. Tues $1 Taco Tuesday. Karaoke, 6:30pm. Wed $3 domestic beer and wells. Karaoke, 6:30pm. Happy hour: Mon-Fri, 2pm-6pm. 980 6th St., Norco, (951) 8984630; www.waterwheelnorco.com. THE WOODEN NICKEL. Great jukebox here. Mon Free pool all night. Tues $2.75 tall cans and 75 cent

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tacos. Sun-Mon $2 Wieners. 842 Kendall Dr., San Bernardino, 909.883.4317. WOODY’S BAR & GRILL. Happy Hour Sun-Sat, 5pm-7pm. Fri & Sat Karaoke. 8pm-1am. 1528 W. Holt, Ontario. 909.984.2127. WORTHINGTON’S TAVERN. DJs spin here every night, there’s a full bar with lots of drink specials and a kitchen that stays open late servin’ up some specialty pizzas. Check out some of the live bands and burlesque shows, too. 3587 University Ave., Riverside, 951.779.9169; www.facebook.com/ worthingtonstavern. ZIGGI’S BAR. We used to love that Ziggy guy. No, not David Bowie, nor that baldheaded cartoon guy. This place loves to tout its “great neighborhood bar” experience. See it for yourself.

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

calendar Thurs & Sat Pool tournaments. 8471 Cherry Ave., Fontana, 909.829.9904.

DANCE AND DJs

135 EAST. Every Fri Vertigo Fridays. Ladies get in free before 11pm. Every Sat DJ LSDanni; DJ Slim. 135 2nd St., Pomona, 909.629.8100; www.135east.com. 340 RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB. Every Fri-Sat Go-Go Dancers. Every Sun Open drag contest hosted by Rupaul’s Drag Race All Star Raven, 9:30pm. TIGERHEAT presents LOUD! 340 S. Thomas St., Pomona, 909.865.9340; www.340nightclub.com. ACE HOTEL. Every Fri DJ Sodality; Wildcat. 10pm. Every Sat DJ Odysey. 10pm. 701 E Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.325.9900; www.acehotel.com/ palmsprings. ALIBI EAST. Every Thurs Club 3-4-5. $6 cover, free before 9pm. Every Fri Slammed and Sexy Fridays. 9pm. Every Sat Sinful Saturdays. 9pm. 225 S. San Antonio Ave., Pomona, 909.623.9422; www. alibieast.com. AGUA CALIENTE CASINO. Every Fri-Sat DJ Dynamic Dave. 9pm. 32-250 Bob Hope Dr., Rancho Mirage, 888.999.1995; www.hotwatercasino.com. ALOFT ONTARIO-RANCHO CUCAMONGA. Every Fri DJ Severe. 8pm. Every Mon-Wed Twilight. 5pm-7pm. Every Wed Uncorked and Unplugged.7pm. 10480 4th St., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.484.2018; www. aloftontario-rc.com. CANTON BISTRO. Every Fri Friday Night Heat. Top 40/remixes. Sat Social Saturdays. 21+. Electro/’80s/ club mix. 10pm-2am. 9980 Alabama St., Redlands, 909.335.6688; www.myspace.com/cantonbistro; www.cantonbistro.com.

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Sundays. Drink specials. Music videos.DJ Johnny Holmez. 8034 Haven Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.987.3005; www.myspace.com/goodfellasclub. IMAGINE THAT. Every Sat Celebrity Saturdays. Live R&B and jazz bands and DJs with old-school R&B. 8pm. $10 before 10pm. 965 Foothill Blvd., Upland, 951.833.6606, 909.264.1752.

J. DEE’S LANDING. Every Thurs DJs. 340 N. Palm Canyon Dr., Palm Springs, 760.320.1758. KEALOHA’S TASTE OF THE ISLANDS. Every Fri -Sat Classic Rock and R&B from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s. 9pm-close. 12206 Central Ave., Chino, 909.590.0604; www.kealohas.com. KICKS SPORTS PUB. Every Fri-Sat DJ. 9pm-1:45am.

CHAPARRAL LIVE ROOM. Every Wed Strike Lounge DJ Mic Pro; guest DJs. 10pm. 400 W. Bonita Ave., San Dimas, 909.592.2772; www.chaparralliveroom.com. CHARACTERS. Every Thurs Vinyl Thursdays feat. AWOL-One; Roach; Gonzo. 9pm. 276 E. 1st St., Pomona, 909.622.9070; www.characterspomona. com. CITRUS CITY GRILLE. Every Sat Pulse Lounge feat. DJ ER. Top 40. Drink specials. 10pm. 2765 Lakeshore Dr., Corona, 951.277.2888; www.citruscitygrille.com. CORNER POCKET. Every Thurs Kaos Thursdays. Electronic. House. Top 40. 9pm. 40575 California Oaks Rd. #D1, Murrieta, 951.677.7155; www. myspace.com/cornerpocketmurrieta. COYOTE LOUNGE. Every Thurs Hip Hop Live. $10 before 10pm. $15 afterwards. 21+. Pomona Valley Mining Co., 1777 Gillette Rd., Pomona, 909.623.3515; www.facebook.com/Lounge. Coyote. DBA256 GALLERY WINE BAR. Every Sat DJ’s JB, Mike Styles, Gabe Real, Stryk One. 9pm. Every Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri Happy hour. 4pm-6pm. Every Tues Open Mic Night. 256 S. Main St., Pomona, 909.623.7600; www.dba256.com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every 1st Fri ’80s Discoteque feat. DJ Eser; Rock en Espanol, New Wave & KROQ FlashBacks feat. DJ Eser & DJ Lonz. Every Mon DJ Lonz mixing hip hop, house, techno and top ’40s. Every Wed Wet Wednesday feat. DJ Lonz. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www.empireloungeandnightclub.com. 21+. FANTASY SPRINGS RESORT CASINO. Every Fri and Sat Live Dance Bands. 9pm. 84-245 Indio Springs Pkwy., Indio, 900.827.2946; www.fantasyspringsresort.com. FOX BAR & GRILL. Thurs-Sat Live DJs. 333 S. Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3671. GOODFELLAS. Happy hour: 4pm-7pm. Every WedSat Club Image with DJ CrazyGabe, DJ Jon Jon and DJ Effects. Every Sun Club Decades SIN

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar 16788 Arrow Blvd., Fontana, 909.350.1160. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, TEMECULA. Every Tues DJ Twy; DJ Krim. 10pm. Every Fri DJ Krim. 10pm. Sat DJ Omry. 10pm. 32475 Highway 79 South G101, Temecula, 951.302.8338; www.killarneys.com. KILLARNEY’S PUB AND GRILL, RIVERSIDE. Every Tues College Night. DJ Twy and DJ Krim. Every Fri DJ Krim. 10pm. Every Sat Guest DJ. 10pm. 3639 Riverside Plaza Dr. Ste 532, Riverside, 951.682.2933; www. killarneys.com. MARGARITA BEACH. Every Tues Tilt Tuesdays. Every Thurs College Night. 50 cent drafts 8pm-10pm. $2 U-Call-It shots all night. Every Fri $1 Drink Fridays. Every Sat 99.1 Saturdays. 1987 S. Diners Ct., San Bernardino, 909.890.9993; www.facebook.com/ MargaritaBeach. MARIO’S PLACE. Every Thurs-Sat V26. DJs spin ‘80s and ‘90s alternative and classic rock. 9pm. 3646 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside, 951.684.7755; www. mariosplace.com. MEDITERRANEAN PALACE. Every Fri-Sat The Palace feat. DJ Assault. 9pm-2am. 1223 University Ave. #130, 951.781.8900, 951.525.2561; www.mpgrillandcafe. com. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Every Mon Liquid Lounge with DJ Salazam, trip hop/downtempo. 9pm. Every Tues Tall Can Tuesdays with Wido & Bane.and ADSR events. $5 tall cans, $3 well drinks. 9pm. Every Thurs F.A.T. Thursdays with DJ Nasty Nativ TOP 40/hip-hop. $3 well drinks and domestics, $4 calls and imports, $5 long islands and AMFs. 9pm. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www. missiontobaccolounge.com. OKAWA SUSHI LOUNGE. Every Fri DJs spin hip-hop, R&B, old school. Drink specials & sushi served all night. 9:30pm. 8158 Day Creek Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.646.7658. PECHANGA RESORT & CASINO. Every Fri DJ Rico. 9pm. $20. 21+. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.770.7455; www.silkatpechanga.com. PEPE’S MEXICAN & AMERICAN RESTAURANT. Every Fri Live DJs. 31780 Railroad Canyon Rd., Canyon Lake, 951.244.7373; pepescanyonlake.com. PEPITO’S. Every Fri Club Jam Generator. Mod/soul/ Brit-pop. Free before 10:30pm, $5 after. Every Sat Club Skandal. 18+. 6539 Magnolia Ave., Riverside, 951.788.2652; www.myspace.com/pepitoscantina. RED FOX BAR. Every Thurs College Night with DJ

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Frog. 9pm. Every Fri-Sat DJ Vasco. 9pm. Every Tues Ladies Night. 3142 N. E St., San Bernardino, 909.882. 9337; www.facebook.com/redfoxsb. REVOLUTION RESTAURANT & NIGHT LIFE. Every Fri Club EVO. Hip-hop, R&B, techno, mash-ups, Top 40. Every Sat Team Fresh. Hip-hop/R&B. 1327 W. Colton Ave., Redlands, 909.335.9700; www.revolutionnight. com. RIVERSIDE PLAZA. Every Fri DJ Jon Smooth; Guest DJs. 7pm. 3545 Central Ave., Riverside, 951.683.1066; www.shopriversideplaza.com. ROSCOE’S FAMOUS DELI. Every Thurs DJ K. Ush. 10pm. 14700 Pipeline Ave., Chino Hills, 909.597.3304; www.roscoesfamousdeli.com. ROYAL FALCONER BRITISH PUB. Every Thurs Rollicking Good Fun. DJs. $2 drafts, $2 shots, $3 wells. 9pm. Every Sat Back to the ‘80s Night. ‘80s music. 106 Orange St., Redlands, 909.307.8913; www. royalfalconer.com. SAN MANUEL INDIAN BINGO AND CASINO. Every Thurs DJ Orbitz at the Pines. 10pm. Every Fri DJ Victor at the Pines. 10pm. Every Sat DJ Hi-tone at the Pines, Top 40. 10pm. 777 San Manuel Blvd., Highland, 800.359.2464; www.sanmanuel.com. Shows: 21+. SKYFOX LOUNGE. Every Thurs Rock it! Awesome 80s, Indie, and Electro music. Every Fri Access Fridays with Hip-hop, Mash-ups, Electro. Every Sat Skyfox Saturdays feat. Top 40, Hip-hop, House. Dress Code strictly enforced. 21+. 345 Garey Ave., Pomona, 909.784.3674; www.skyfoxpomona.com. SPORTSWATCH BAR & GRILL. Every Sat Videopolis DJ’s Music and Videos. 9PM. 27961 Highland Ave. #B, Highland, 909.280.3250; www. sportswatchbarandgrill.com. TAP DADDY’S. Every Fri-Sat DJs. 2505 S. San Jacinto Ave., San Jacinto, 951.652.5686; www.myspace. com/tapdaddysbar. TORO SUSHI. Every Sat DJ Primal. 9pm. 1520 N. Mountain Ave., Ontario, 909.983.8676; www. waybackwednesdays.net. TREVI ENTERTAINMENT CENTER. Every Thurs Club Illusion & The Playground. Hip-hop/funk/house/ old school. Every Fri College Night Fridays. DJs. 32250 Mission Trl., Lake Elsinore, 951.674.6080; www. myspace.com/trevinightlife. THE VAULT MARTINI BAR. Every Thurs DJ Darcie. Every Fri DJ Jose V. 20 E. Vine St., Redlands, 909.798.2399.

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

By Eric Frances

Aries (March 20-April 19) Calculate your risks. Do not take them frivolously. I know this is not a popular activity but for you it’s a necessary one. You are more inclined to go out on a limb right now, at the same time there are factors in the equation that you may not be aware of. Therefore I suggest you consider worst-case scenarios before you do something that is potentially dangerous. At the same time, some of those scenarios have ways of expressing themselves that come up in your favor. For example, a phase of adversity in a relationship can work out in your favor, by taking you deeper with someone, and helping you build trust with them. I am not suggesting that you stoke your insecurity— only that you look before you take a soulful, bounding leap. Taurus (April 19-May 20) A relationship seems to go through a series of tests, and many of them may be centered on what a close partner or someone who’s an erotic interest is going through. Yet these are not tests—they are the experiences of life that are normal for the territory that we’re in. One of the central questions for you is how you handle your own insecurities. There may be a seeming conflict between your boldness and another person’s hesitancy, or between your desire to be spontaneous and your need for stability in the relationship. Your emotions move you and the world around you. They are especially likely to have that influence now. So pay attention and participate consciously. Gemini (May 20-June 21) Keeping things in balance is one thing. Knowing how to respond when situations go out of balance is another. First, be aware that there are some conflicts that will seem dramatic and significant but which do not directly influence your life, except on the intellectual level. Assess each of them on two levels—how does this affect you, and how does it affect your community? That question will provide significant useful information. You are involved in some truly significant assessments of your security base, home and family matters, and you must sort out information that is useful from that which is merely controversial. Pay particular attention to health-related topics, get to the truth and more than anything, notice the role that stress plays in the equation. Carefully consider adjusting environmental factors first before you seek any form of outside intervention that you don’t need. Cancer (June 21-July 22) Your ideas have both influence and impact, though it will help considerably if you keep your flexibility. You seem to be bumping up against a fear—it could be the fear of going deeper, or of losing control, or of the unforeseen consequences of acting on your desire. If you run into a situation wherein you feel fully committed but still cannot get your situation to budge, take a gentler approach. Consider the ways in which you can flow around something rather than push it or force some kind of movement. You need to be the flexible one in the equation, and you can count on that talent being available if you remember to call on it. A little confidence will go a long way—that will build as the month progresses, as you learn more and act on what you know. Leo (July 22-Aug. 23) In any relationship situation it’s necessary to maintain awareness of your own identity, desires and needs, and those you share with other people around you. That is an idea from the distant past, usually advocated by our parents and grandparents, but which is no longer true for you. It’s not a question of ‘all you’ versus ‘all about the other person’. And it’s not a matter of alternating between the two. At this point in human history we face the authentic challenge of being wholly self-present and wholly present for others in your context as a relationship or business partner. Is this more than prior generations can handle, or were they merely lacking that concept? You can handle the stretch, and you have the concept available. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sep. 22) If a situation seems to be running out of control, I suggest you adjust your perspective till you see it in such a way that it’s workable. You’ll be surprised by how much changes with your point of view. It is therefore essential that you keep your point of view portable, and that you not be driven by fear. One thing to be mindful of is discerning fear from intuition. Fear usually describes an outcome you don’t want. Intuition usually describes how to create an outcome that you do want, or at least provides some useful information on how to prevent a negative outcome. Therefore, it’s essential that you recognize that worry is not a form of intuition, no matter how vivid it may seem. Keep a wide perspective—especially about yourself.

Libra (Sep. 22-Oct. 23) You will need to talk about what you’re feeling and what you’ve been through recently—if you want any sense of contact with the people around you. The past matters, especially the past four weeks, and what you experienced will have an influence on your current choices. You’ve just been through another spell of “I can barely believe I’m going through this,” though at least this time around you had the presence of others to verify your experience. Remember how good that felt: you don’t need to go it alone, and the one sure way not to do that is to maintain open communication with people you care about, and those with whom you share common interests. Be real with people and you will have real friends. Stealth and secrecy are not all they’re cracked up to be. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 22) Build up your momentum working on a long-term goal—which implies knowing what it is, beginning the process and focusing your energy. Get accustomed to working through the inner resistance that gets in the way of your most cherished desires for achievement. Recognize the degree to which any worldly goal involves overcoming some inner obstacle or remnant of history. If you encounter a personality trait that consistently holds you back, now is the time to deal with it so that you can move onto truly greater things. If you put your mind to that project, there is little that will be able to stop you. And you will need them when, later in the year, the astrology brings nearly total focus on your sign and you’re in the spotlight in a much bigger way. That’s the future; this is the point of origin. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 22) You’re in a situation where you must be both the micromanager and the visionary. This isn’t easy. All the details in the world don’t add up to the larger scenario, no matter how well attended. But they do need to be attended. You also know that you’re one of the few who cannot only understand the grand scheme— you’re one of its most influential authors. Therefore, make sure that the details get taken care of, but don’t let them bog you down. One way to do that is to take care of them well in advance. You know what they are; you know who is dependable and who is not; you have a sense of the timing involved. Keep a grip on this layer of things and you will soon emerge as a leader of the people and the author of a genuine idea or concept. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20) You might question whether what you perceive in others is your own shadow projected onto them, or whether it’s really some issue they have. It could be a little of both, though in any event there is significant benefit that can come from asking the questions that help you verify your perceptions. Relationships often get tangled in a hall of mirrors, and this is the stuff of which those mirrors are made. If you determine that something is the property of another person, that at least helps you understand where the lines of responsibility really are. All of us who live on our particular planet have work to do. It helps considerably if we do our own work and allow others to do theirs. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) Others may challenge your authority over the next few weeks. It could be some professional situation, or a householdrelated theme, or your moral authority— and you will need to figure out a way to handle it that works for everyone, or for as many people as possible. Remember that often, when someone is trying to razz you, they’re doing it for its own sake. It may be a form of amusement or a not-so-dangerous way to take a little risk. That said, take a real look at any beef someone has with you and offer them some kind of compromise. Leave yourself room to negotiate; don’t give it all away at first—just enough to send the signal that you’re open to a discussion and that you have a fair mind. This will work anywhere along the spectrum from personal to political. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) All the facts in the word don’t add up to the truth. So where you’re inundated with data, make sure you look at it in a way that tells you something. Now, that something may well be subjective. You may get an opinion confirmed; you may see a pattern and come up with a new theory. Here is a clue: To do this well, you need to have faith in yourself and in your intelligence. Pisces is good at being circumspect, which is a way of saying taking in a diversity of viewpoints—though you have to trust your own, and give the opinions of others weight only to the extent that they’re presenting something compelling. Just keep that theory in mind—that a lot of information is not necessarily what you need. It’s a coherent point of view and a flexible plan of at least three steps toward the goal.

Read Eric Francis daily at: www.PlanetWaves.net

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

THE VIBE. Every Thurs Club Skittles. Hip-hop. Every Sat Club 7. Every Sun Sin Sunday. Every Tues $2 Totally ‘80s Tuesdays. $2 drink specials. 8pm. Every Wed Logikal Wednesdays. 1805 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.0310; www.myspace.com/ thevibebarandgrill. VIP CLUB. Every Wed Dancing with DJ Darcie. 8pm. Thurs-Fri DJ Julie. 9pm. Sat DJ Darcie. 7:45pm. 21+. (Ages 18-20) $5 with free non-alcoholic drink ticket.) 9pm. 3673 Merrill Ave., Riverside, 951.784.2370; www. vip-nightclub.com.

THEATRE DARLING YOU SLAY ME. The Gourmet Detective is a comical, musical, murder mystery dinner show theater. Come laugh, witness a crime and help solve the mystery. Your waiters, cocktail servers, and even the piano player will be suspect. Every Fri & Sat. The Avila Terrace Theatre, 3663 Main St., Riverside, www.avilaterrace.com. THE DINNER DETECTIVE. If you’ve always felt like you’d make a great Sherlock Homes, then head over to The Dinner Detective. You can help solve a funny murder case while enjoying a four-course plated dinner. Eat with caution, because anyone at your table could be the killer! Every Sat. The Doubletree by Hilton, 222 N. Vineyard Ave., Ontario, 909.937.0900. www.thedinnerdetective.com/sites/ ontario. JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT. This biblical tale of Joseph comes to life, while his colorful coat brings with it a ton of different musical styles, from rock ‘n’ roll to country and pop. This saga of his many adventures of being sold into slavery, demonstrates how important it is to hold onto your dreams. Opens Thurs, Oct. 3. Shows: Oct. 4, 13, 18. Tibbie’s Center Stage Fontana, 8463 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.429.7469; www.centerstagefontana.com. PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE. Six kids from Putnam County, New York will compete against each other and the audience in this fictional spelling bee—resulting in a comedy that is sure to make everyone laugh with this hilarious mix of words. Shows: Oct. 4, 5, 6, 11, 12, 13. The Covina Center for the Performing Arts, 104 N. Citrus Ave., Covina, 626.331.8133; www.covinacenter.com. ROMEO AND JULIET. Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? The most classic of all tragic love stories, Romeo and Juliet is a must-see. From the chemistry between the two young lovers to the excitement of the dueling families, this play will keep your heart pouding throughout an exquisite theatrical performance. Show: Oct. 9. Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre, 455 W. Foothill Blvd., Claremont, 909.626.1254; www.candlelightpavilion. com. SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET. Revenge has never been so sweet for this exiled bible who returns seeking revenge against a judge who wrongfully accused him and his wife. This chilling and heart-pounding play will surely give the faint of heart nightmares. Oct 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13. Candlelight Pavilion Dinner Theatre, 455 W. Foothill Blvd., Claremont, 909.626.1254; www. candlelightpavilion.com.

PERFORMING ARTS THE AUREAU VISTA GRAND BALLROOM. Sat Groove Night. 6pm-7pm. 3840 Lemon St., Riverside, 800.870.6069. BRANDIN’ IRON. Every Thurs-Sun Dance Lessons. 7:30pm. 320 S. E St., San Bernardino, 909.888.7388; www.brandinironsaloon.com. CAFÉ SEVILLA. Every Fri The Art of Flamenco Dinner Show. 6:30pm. Every Sat Gypsy Fusion Dinner Show. 7:30pm. 3252 Mission Inn Ave., Riverside,

951.778.0611; www.cafesevilla.com. THE COLONY AT LOFT 204. Every Tues Beginning Belly Dance. 7pm-8pm. $10. Every Wed Intermediate Belly Dance. 7pm-8pm. $10. 532 W. First St., #204, Claremont Packing House, www.loft204.com. EMPIRE NIGHT CLUB & LOUNGE. Every Thurs Salsa and Cumbia Night. 9pm-2am. Every Sun Soul Line Dancing. 5pm-7pm. 117 N. Euclid Ave., Ontario, 909.983.2849; www.empireloungeandnightclub. com. 21+. MAVERICK SALOON. Every Fri Western Dance Lessons with LeeAnne. 6:45pm. 3841 Old Hamner, Norco, 951.734.6640; www.mavericksaloonnorco. com. MORONGO CASINO RESORT & SPA. Every Thurs-Sat CopyKatz Celebrity Revue. 8pm. Every Sun CopyKatz Celebrity Revue. 2pm. 49500 Seminole Dr., Cabazon, 800.252.4499; www. morongocasinoresort.com. STEELWORKERS AUDITORIUM. Tues Ballet Folklorico Orgullo Mestizo. 6:30pm. Lewis Library and Technology Center, 8437 Sierra Ave., Fontana, 909.428.8816; www.fontanarecreation.org TEQUIHUA FOUNDATION. Every Thurs The Telling by Koyote the Blind. 7:30pm. 3485 University Ave., Riverside, 951.686.3471; www.tequihuafoundation. org. TOM’S FARMS. Every Sat-Sun Anthony the Magic. 12pm & 2pm. 23900 Temescal Canyon Rd., Corona, 951.277.4422; www.tomsfarms.com. WATER WHEEL SALOON. Every Thurs Line Dancing Lessons. 7pm. 980 6th St., Norco, (951) 8984630; www.waterwheelnorco.com.

COMEDY GROVE THEATRE. Fri Magic Phenomena and Comedy Hynosis. 8pm. 276 E. 9th St., Upland, 909.920.4343; www.grovetheatre.com FLAPPERS COMEDY CLUB. Thurs, Oct. 3 Jen Murphy. 8pm.Fri-Sat Geoff Keith. Fri, 8pm &10pm. Sat, 7pm & 9:30pm. Every Sat Comedy Traffic School. 8:30am. Every Sun Al Miller Presents. 7pm. Silly Sundays Open Mic. Wed Comedy Traffic School with Jeff Hodge. 8:30am. 532 W 1st St., Unit 218, Claremont, 818.845.9721; www.flapperscomedy. com. LEWIS FAMILY PLAYHOUSE. Sat An Evening with Fritz Coleman. 7:30pm. 12505 Cultural Center Dr., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.477.2752; www. lewisfamilyplayhouse.com. LIAM’S IRISH PUB. Every Tues Comedy Show hosted by Rick Rome & Just Mikey. 9:30pm. 1087 S. Mount Vernon Ave., Colton, 909.422.9900; www. myspace.com/liamscomedynight. MCCALLUM THEATRE & PERFORMING ARTS. Wed Steve Martin and The Steep Canyon Rangers. 8pm. 73000 Fred Waring Dr., Palm Desert, 760.340.2787; www.mccallumtheatre.com. THE MENAGERIE. Every 1st & 3rd Sun The New Legends of Comedy. 8pm. 3581 University Ave., Riverside, 951.788.8000; www.myspace.com/ club_menagerie. MISSION TOBACCO LOUNGE. Every Sun Everybody Laffs Comedy Night. 3630 University Ave., Riverside, 951.682.4427; www. missiontobaccolounge.com. ONTARIO IMPROV. Thurs, Sept. 26-Sat Vagina Dialogues with Kelly Maurico. 8pm. ComedyJuice. 10pm. Fri-Sun Joe Rogan. Fri, 8pm & 10:15pm. Sat, 7pm & 9:15pm. Sun, 7pm. Tues Dynamite Comedy Show Presents Erik Griffin. 8pm. Wed Big Mike. 8pm. 4555 Mills Cir., Ontario, 909.484.5411; ontario. improv.com. PECHANGA RESORT AND CASINO. Fri-Sat Tobe Hixx & Aida Rodriguez. 7:30pm & 9:30pm. 45000 Pechanga Pkwy., Temecula, 951.693.1819; www. pechanga.com/comedyclub. ROMANO’S. Every Thurs Free comedy. 5225 Canyon Crest Dr., Riverside, 951.781.7662; www. theconcertlounge.com.

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

calendar SPORTS LA LAKERS, Sat, Oct. 5 vs. Golden State Warriors. Tues, Oct. 8 vs. Denver Nuggets. The Inland Empire is proud to host the Los Angeles Lakers for two preseason games this year. Come check them out as these 16-time NBA Champions get ready to dominate another year. Citizen’s Business Bank Arena, 4000 E. Ontario Center Pkwy., Ontario, 909.224.5500; www.cbbankarena.com. LUCAS OIL OFF-ROAD EXPO, Sat, Oct. 5-6. Get ready for hundreds of off-road vehicles smashing around, race trucks flying across the sky, as well as celebrities, live music and tons of fun. Pomona Fairplex, 1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona, 909.623.3711; www.fairplex.com. FASTRACK RIDERS, Fri, Oct. 4-6. This motorcycle

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

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racing school with have you pushing your two wheel motorcycle to the max—see how fast you can go! Autoclub Speedway, 9300 Cherry Ave., Fontana, 909.429.5000; www.autoclubspeedway. com. SOLO II, Fri, Oct. 5-6. Being an exceptional driver is not enough in this competition. Going at top speeds, your car must be able to handle the pressure as well. Autoclub Speedway, 9300 Cherry Ave., Fontana, 909.429.5000; www. autoclubspeedway.com.

POETRY & READINGS BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Fourth Thurs Floasis. 8pm11pm. $3. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Wed Children’s story time. 11am. 5183 Montclair Plaza Ln., Montclair, 909.399.1966. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Children’s preschool story time. 11am. 11090 E. Foothill Blvd., Rancho Cucamonga, 909.980.5586. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Children’s story time. 7pm. 2470 Tuscany St. #101, Corona, 951.735.0038. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Thurs Book Group. 7pm. Every Mon Children’s preschool story time. 10am. 3485 Tyler St., Riverside, 951.358.0899. BARNES & NOBLE. Every Sat Saturday Storytime. 11am. Every Tues Pre-school story time. 10am. 27460 Lugonia Ave., Redlands, 909.793.4322. BACK TO THE GRIND. Every Mon R.U.P.O. poetry in the basement. 9pm. 3575 University Ave., Riverside, 951.784.0800; www.back2thegrind.com. CLAREMONT FORUM. Mon-Fri Package and prepare books for prisoners in the Prison Library Project. 10am-5pm. Every 2nd Tues Inland Valley Storytellers. Bring an 8-10 minute story to share or just listen. This gathering is for beginners and experienced storytellers alike. 7:30pm. Free (donations accepted). Every Mon Writer’s Workshop. Writing critiques. 6:30pm. 586 W. 1st St., Claremont, 909.626.3066; www.claremontforum.org or www. inlandstorytellers.org.

BY jeff girod

Final

Word What’s “dolphin” for dumbass? Turns out the brainiacs of the sea may not be so smart after all. That’s according to Paul Manger, a neuroethologist at a university in South Africa. Long touted for their ability to communicate, use tools and dominate ankle tattoos by drunken sorority girls, Manger says dolphins may be more stupid than goldfish, chickens and even mealworms! “We put them on a pedestal for no reason and projected a lot of our desires and wishes on them,” said the dolphin-hating Manger. “The idea of the exceptionally intelligent dolphin is a myth.” And to think I wasted all those years eating dolphin-safe tuna. One of the most transcendent moments of my life was sitting on a surfboard off the coast of Huntington Beach next to dolphins. At the time, I felt like we experienced a universal connection, staring across the white caps, waiting for the next waves to roll in. But what if while I was having deep thoughts about God and nature and eternity and grace, the dolphins were thinking . . . Well, probably they weren’t thinking anything, because dolphins are apparently dumber than mealworms. What if everything we’ve ever thought about the animal kingdom is wrong? What if giraffes are afraid of heights? What if owls aren’t wise? What if lions are giant wusses? And what if the circle of life is actually a rhombus, and humans are the real jackasses for laughing like hyenas at the dolphin show? Maybe we should’ve spent more time at Sea World’s porpoise show. Do porpoises even get a show? I’m not sure I even know what a porpoise is. Is a porpoise the same as a sea cow? Whatever. It probably still makes me smarter than a dolphin. Remember how environmentalists told us to cut up plastic ringlets that held six-packs together, how they could float out to sea and get caught on the snouts of dolphins? That should have been a red flag. Raccoons and bears have snouts, too, and they burrow in garbage constantly. How hard can it be to get a ringlet off of your snout? People see what they want to see. Someone tells you a dolphin is smarter than a spelling bee champion? OK, sure. Who are you to argue? Dolphins are cute and exotic looking, a little shiny alien

with flippers and a permanent “go get ‘em!” smile. Plus dolphins live at the beach and everyone loves the beach. It’s the same reason we love Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They seem different than us, with their own shiny alien snouts. So we overlook Angie’s unsightly homemade tattoos, the PDA, Brad’s longhaired phases or how he totally dumped his former wife, Jen, like a wet dirty sock. (Not to mention Brangelina’s box office stinkers: The Tourist, Salt, Killing Them Softly, Tree of Life. The only audience who saw those rotted tomatoes was their 19 adopted kids.) Truth be told, a more talented and successful Hollywood couple is probably William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman. But Macy and Huffman look like your sun blotched livery grandparents. And worse, they’re boring. So we project what we expect on who we think deserves it. If someone said cows were cockerspaniel smart, we’d call bullshit, because cows are fat and stupid looking. They smell. They stand all day in their own cow crap. They’re covered in flies. It’s disgusting. It makes it a lot easier to bite into a cheeseburger because every time I eat a cow, in some small way I feel like I’m helping to make the world a smarter place. Neuroethologist Paul Manger is right—and not just about dolphins. We put things on pedestals for no reason. We project our desires and wishes on them, because myths are better. It’s why we still think Tom Brady is a good quarterback—even though he’s lost every Super Bowl when he didn’t secretly videotape all of the other team’s plays beforehand. It’s why we think Miley Cyrus is interesting, wrestling isn’t fake and any Kardashian should exist. We’d rather live in a world where dolphins are splashy little know-it-all’s and I’m OK with it. I love cheeseburgers and Brangelina. F*ck porpoises. IE

Contact Jeff Girod at: finalword@ieweekly.com OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com

IEWEEKLY.com | OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9, 2013

OCTOBER 3 - OCTOBER 9 | IEWEEKLY.com