ISSUE 4 • SPRING 2017
LEADING LADIES: FASHION DESIGNER Kiya Tomlin THAI PRINCESS Nancy Oakley SINGER Lydia Elle LIFE COACH Jenn Lederer DATING COACH Jess Branas WOMEN’S EXPOS EXPERT Patsy Anderson CANCER SURVIVOR Ginger Pillar …and more!
Beautiful Brides LEAD YOUR TEAM & FAMILY PASSPORT TO INSPIRATION with Kim Adley
KIM ALEXIS
Wows and Empowers at Every Age
LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE
COVER STORY After Super Model and Super Mom, Kim Alexis Reinvents Herself Again
Dr. Shellie Hipsky............................................................................ 85
LIVING Thai Princess: Nancy Oakley
Jen Forsyth...................................................................................... 9
Why We Still Need Feminism
Cori Wamsley................................................................................ 12
How to Shine in Today’s World
Jenn Lederer.................................................................................. 19
Ginger Pillar: Dancing Through Life’s Storms
Jen Forsyth.................................................................................... 22
Society Spotlight
Kelly Frost...................................................................................... 26
BUSINESS Impossible is Nothing
Mary Lee Gannon.......................................................................... 30
Make Your Life and Business Extraordinary
Darieth Chisolm............................................................................. 34
The Value of Human Connection in Leadership
Deb Gray...................................................................................... 37
Patsy Anderson: The Woman Behind the Women’s Expo
Jen Forsyth.................................................................................... 41
Leadership Lesson Series—Part 1: Inner Driven Leadership
Diane Lazarowicz............................................................................ 43
BOOKS, ART, MUSIC & FILM Jess Branas: In Tune with What Women Want, Dream of, and Deserve
Suzanne Hobbs.............................................................................. 49
MOVIE REVIEW: Hidden Figures
Nicole Narvaez Manns................................................................... 53
SPRING 2017
CONTENTS
Photo: Angie Candell Brandon
At the Omni William Penn Hotel, Dr. Shellie Hipsky and Kim Alexis discovered a Vogue coffee table book featuring their favorite supermodel!
MUSIC REVIEW: Lydia Elle
Jess Branas.................................................... 55
FOOD & TRAVEL Passport to Inspiration: Venice Beach, CA
Kim Adley...................................................... 58
RESTAURANT REVIEW: Monterey Bay Fish Grotto
Jen Forsyth.................................................... 62
Angie Candell Brandon................................... 64
2017 Wedding Trends
Teri Lynn Woodruff..........................................74
Creating a Recipe for Success: Delicious Cakes Safe for Delicate Palates
Jen Forsyth.....................................................76 INSPIRING LIVES
Teri Lynn Woodruff......................................... 88
Kiya Tomlin: Designer Creates Sophisticated Uptown Style That Can Handle Whatever Your Day Brings
Jen Forsyth.................................................... 90
Just Jackie: All That Chic
Jackie Capatolla............................................ 95
BRIDAL Queen for a Day
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FASHION & BEAUTY Spring Trend Forecast
SPRING 2017
COVER NOTES: Angie Candell Brandon, Photography Kourtney Leech, Makeup Jackie Capatolla at Jacqueline’s Salon, Hair Dr. Shellie Hipsky’s dress was created by Diana Misetic Kim Alexis is wearing Calvin Klein from Macy’s Hipsky’s jewelry by Richard Parsakian’s Eons Vintage Boutique Styled by Teri Lynn Woodruff Location: Omni William Penn, Pittsburgh, PA
A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Dear Reader,
Welcome to Spring! It is a time of transformation, and
excitement is in the air. As I look around me, I witness change and bliss in so many fascinating women. They are blossoming as they walk in their purpose and reach for a brighter future. And their achievements don’t go unnoticed. In early
Photo: Ray Feather
March, honorees for the Women of Achievement Awards in Pittsburgh were recognized for “excellence in their
fields, significant contributions to the betterment of our communities, and outstanding accomplishments for the
advancement of women,” as Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto stated in his proclamation about the 12th annual awards
celebration. I was humbled and honored to be among these women as I received the Women of Achievement Award in the field of media.
Since I made the switch to being the CEO of the media and motivation company Inspiring
Lives International full time a year ago, I have brought my skills from a decade of being a professor to the pages of this magazine. More importantly, the success of Inspiring Lives
Magazine depends on the connections that my team and I have cultivated with incredible people who bring their skills and passion for leading and inspiring to the magazine.
Sharing the cover of the spring issue with Kim Alexis and interviewing her was a great joy!
Kim has graced over 500 magazine covers, ranging from Sports Illustrated to Vogue, blazing a
trail as a supermodel over several decades. Like the outstanding women I was honored with at the Women of Achievement Awards, she is an expert in her field. She has earned the title of “supermodel.”
I love that between the covers of this magazine you can learn from pros in their areas of
expertise. We have coaches, experts, and survivors ready to tell their stories and help you in your own personal journey. So, enjoy the change in weather. Welcome the blooming of your best self this spring! Hugs,
Dr. Shellie Hipsky SPRING 2017
INSPIRING LIVES
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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF DR. SHELLIE HIPSKY s.hipsky@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
VICE PRESIDENT OF OPERATIONS KELLY FROST
CREATIVE DIRECTOR CHRISTINE M. SCOTT
k.frost@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
creative@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
EXECUTIVE EDITOR
LEAD STYLIST
CORI NICOLE SMITH WAMSLEY
TERI WOODRUFF
editorial@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
styling@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
STAFF WRITERS
STAFF EVENT PHOTOGRAPHER
JEN FORSYTH
RAY FEATHER
j.forsyth@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
CIRCULATION TEAM KENNETH ASKEW & ABIGAIL ASKEW circulation@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
CINDY ELLEK
c.ellek@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
ADVERTISING EXECUTIVES RACHEL DAYOUB
r.dayoub@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
CINDY ELLEK
c.ellek@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Kim Adley • Lydia Blank • Jess Branas Jackie Capatolla • Darieth Chisolm • Tonya Edinger Jen Forsyth • Kelly Frost • Mary Lee Gannon Deb Gray • Dr. Shellie Hipsky • Suzanne Hobbs Diane Lazarowicz • Jen Lederer • Nicole Narvaez Manns • Cori Wamsley • Teri Lynn Woodruff
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Kim Adley • Clare Ascani • Cathy Burnheimer Ray Feather • Brian Hanna • Colville Heskey Laura’s Eye Photography • Dean McAfee Alisa Milnthorp • Linda Jackson • James Ray Dennis Rodriguez • Ryan Smas • Becky Thurner
SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATORS SAMANTHA BARNA
social@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
RACHEL DAYOUB
r.dayoub@inspiringlivesmagazine.com
www.InspiringLivesMagazine.com Copyright © 2017 Inspiring Lives, LLC, Inspiring Lives International Publishing, Inc. Any reproduction of this publication, in whole or in part, is prohibited without the express written consent of the Inspiring Lives Magazine. Contact Inspiring Lives International Publishing, Inc. at advertising@inspiringlivesmagazine.com. Reprints and back issues available on request.
LIVING IN THIS SECTION: Thai Princess: Nancy Oakley
Jen Forsyth.......................................................... 9
Why We Still Need Feminism
Cori Wamsley.................................................... 12
How to Shine in Today’s World
Jenn Lederer...................................................... 19
Ginger Pillar: Dancing Through Life’s Storms
Jen Forsyth........................................................ 22
Society Spotlight
Kelly Frost.......................................................... 26
“Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” —Hans Christian Andersen
THAI PRINCESS Nancy Oakley By Jen Forsyth
L
ife is a challenge for us all. No one gets through unscathed. But some individuals seem to endure more than their fair share of pain, yet rise to levels of greatness beyond anyone’s wildest imaginations. How do they do it? How do they keep going when they have every justification to give up? Sometimes, life’s injustices also create life’s greatest warriors, and Nancy Oakley—owner and CEO of Nancy O Magazine—is one of them. Born in Thailand, the “Thai Princess” has survived rape, moving to a new country, abuse, the loss of her children, the murder of her sister, and three bouts of cancer to become the extraordinary person she always knew she would be. Her faith in a higher power has kept her going and keeps her believing her mission on this Earth won’t be complete anytime soon. “I tell everybody not to give up, to keep pushing,” Oakley says. “Keep doing what you are doing. I come home and cry, too. I just don’t let people see. Don’t give up.” Not giving up is an understatement when it comes to Oakley. She grew up poor in Thailand, but despite her circumstances, she knew she was going to be someone remarkable someday. “I appealed to the sky that I was going to be successful one day, and I never gave up. I knew it would happen, and it did.” It almost didn’t happen, though. A series of near-death experiences plagued Oakley as young as age 10. While in the jungle with her mother hunting for mushrooms, she was bitten by a mosquito. Her mother tried to get her medical attention, but sadly, hospitals in Thailand only treat those who can afford to pay, and Nancy’s mother could not. Nancy’s serious condition caused her mother to think she had passed away, but then, a kind stranger helped her get the care she needed. “I woke up four months later in the hospital. I learned to walk and talk again. I knew at that time that a higher power kept me on this Earth.” Unfortunately, just a few years after this incident, she was raped and left for dead in the street. After she healed she said, “I wasn’t the same. I knew God had a plan for me.” That plan included coming to America. A 15-year-old Oakley married and headed for the United States. Life was anything but easy. Her husband was abusive. When she finally was able to leave him, he did the unthinkable, kidnapping their small children, ages two and six months. It would be years before Oakley would ever see them again. She was alone and homeless. Even through that despair, she chose to move forward, never letting on how dire her situation truly was. “I went to church and learned English as a second language. I worked several jobs and went to school. I earned money by helping walk dogs. I spent money on nice clothes so people didn’t know I was homeless. I slept at the beach and kept money in lockers until I got an apart-
ment. I focused on what I wanted to do. It was about me and what I wanted.” It seems that nothing could stop her. “Either you’re going to feel sorry for yourself or you’re going to make a difference.” She did make that difference. After school, she went to work for the Air Force, and the jobs kept coming after that. Unfortunately, so did the brushes with death. In 2008 Oakley was diagnosed with uterine cancer. She was sent to a hospital in Washington State for treatment. The news was not good. Oakley withered away to 40 pounds, and the doctor urged her to start making some painful decisions. But that wasn’t in the plan. “The doctor said I was going to die and to do a will to leave for my children. I said ‘No. I’m not dying!’ After he left my room, I knelt and prayed to God and said ‘if you kept me alive this long, give me one more chance.” I felt healing over my body. The next morning the doctor gave me a checkup, and he said ‘What did you do last night?’ He started crying. He said ‘I just witnessed a miracle! I cannot find cancer in you.’ The media came to interview Oakley, and she considered that to be her first big break. Her next break was also born out of tragedy—when her sister was murdered by her husband, she became the guardian of her nephew Anthony and raised him. At this time she was interviewed by none other than Oprah Winfrey, who featured her nephew’s story on her show in 2006. Winfrey encouraged Oakley to start her own magazine, and her first publication, Nancy O Magazine, was born. Since then, Oakley has published and been featured in several more magazines and is the proud author of several books. Three of those books, The Quest for Serendipity, Cup of Tea, and The Thai Sanction, are all currently being made into movies. She keeps many of these treasures at the bookshop she also owns and operates in San Antonio, Texas. Oakley also has an Oscar to her credit. She is the recipient of the 2014 award for Outstanding Author. After 15 long years, she finally got her children back, but sadly, her trials have not ended. Oakley faced one more bout with uterine cancer and is currently battling stage 1 lung cancer, although she is a non-smoker. However, those who know Oakley know she hasn’t skipped a beat. “I feel like I have so much to do. What about other people who need me out there. I have life and energy to do things.” Despite all she has been through, how has she been able to forgive and move on? “God,” she laughs. “I don’t think about it. Just forgive. I know who to answer to. Let it go. That’s all I can do.” Nancy Oakley approaches life with grace, faith, and strength. She is truly a Thai princess in every way. n
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Why We Still Need
FEMINISM By Cori Wamsley
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T
he first time I heard the word “feminist,” I was watching a female astronaut float across the TV screen. Her long permed hair flowed gracefully around her, unrestrained, in the weightless atmosphere. She was ethereal. She was what I pictured when I heard “Women can do anything men can do.” But there was that word, “feminist,” uttered with poison and an eye roll. It sounded filthy. I knew then that it was a word filled with too much meaning, too many meanings. Even after the women of the 70s threw out their bras, the little girls of the 80s were told that boys pulled our hair because they liked us and our skirts and shorts had to come to the bottom of our fingertips so we didn’t distract the boys. Because they couldn’t control themselves. Because it was our problem, our fault. In college, my girlfriends and I stayed away from the fraternity houses because a mutual friend got drugged at a party once. She was lucky, though. Another friend drove her home before anything happened. Because it does happen. And it’s the woman’s fault for being there. For relaxing. For trusting. For not keeping her legs together. For wearing that tight blouse that made her feel beautiful. As an adult, I was once called “babydoll” by my manager. Only once. Because I told him it was wrong. Because I told him not to do it again. Because I was lucky that he backed down. I was lucky that he didn’t fire me. What does all this have to do with feminism? Women can be doctors. Women can join the military. They can be actors or journalists or carpenters. They can work while their husbands stay home with the kids. They have choices in career. Isn’t that what it was all about? What I dealt with were brushes with inequality. So why do we not stop this nonsense? Why do we insist this isn’t equality? Why don’t we shut up and get over it? For all the women you see living their dreams, we are still judging them for their perfect smiles, their thigh gaps, how gracefully they age. We wonder if they are pregnant when they have a slight roundness to their abdomens instead of letting them enjoy that
ice cream cone. We pick away at their shell, not caring what lies within. Women are judged for nursing or not nursing our babies. We are judged for wearing that dress to this event. We are expected to keep a clean house and apologize to someone dropping by when we fall short. “Please excuse the mess. I have been so busy with work and the kids and I paused to watch a TV show for a few minutes—.” We are held to standards of a bygone era—the good old days, which I keep hearing touted as some strange golden time in America— when men brought home the bacon and women kept house and raised the children and there wasn’t any crime…or ambition for women to want something more…and blacks drank from separate fountains. Was this paradise? Those with skin in shades of bronze, mocha, or ebony deal with worse. A Filipino friend once told me that she was frequently asked for sexual favors by men she had just met. She shrugged it off, saying that a lot of them think that all Filipino women do porn. It was one of the saddest jokes I had heard. And this happened in the United States. Where we are supposed to be equal. In college, I stood side-by-side with men and women of multiple ethnicities in a lab as a biology major. And I felt equal. I studied feminist literature as an English major (a proud double major!) and appreciated that they spoke out so I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up. And I felt equal. We may be able to sit in our houses and pretend that we are equal because haven’t been beaten by a husband or “sweethearted” by a boss or encouraged to have dinner on the table at 6 o’clock sharp. But is that everyone’s truth? Do we still need feminism? Do we need it until every woman in the United States, on the planet, can speak freely and be considered seriously without a wink and a glance at her breasts? Do we need it until a woman can go to her doctor for any health matter and get the care she needs? Do we need it until a woman with two daughters can decide that she is done reproducing without someone, just every once in a while, saying, “Don’t you want to try for a boy?” So why is “feminism” a dirty word? Simply, some people think feminists are man-haters. And maybe some of them are. But the vast majority
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“Feminism is raw and powerful. It’s strong and uplifting.” of us—yes, I am a feminist—advocate for women's rights. For the rights of every gender identity on the spectrum. We know that all humans should be treated equally. Equality means choice, not restriction. It means respect. And just to be clear: if someone thinks it’s ok to touch you without your permission, pay you less, make you feel dirty or less than, insist that something is your job, deny you proper care for your mental or physical health, ignore your ideas, ignore your desires, make laws about what you can do with your body, drug you, ask you personal questions, or otherwise make you feel uncomfortable because you were born a woman, then this is not respect, not equality. Not by a long shot. Feminism is something we shouldn’t have to discuss, especially in 2017. It’s something I shouldn’t have to explain to men, to women, to my daughters. It’s something we shouldn’t need, but we do. It’s something I shouldn’t have to defend. Feminism is raw and powerful. It’s strong and uplifting. It’s a bond we share when we see another mother crying because she has to drop off her three-month-old at daycare
1
http://www.cawp.rutgers.edu/current-numbers
http://www.npr.org/2016/10/06/495839588/countries-aroundthe-world-beat-the-u-s-on-paid-parental-leave This article stipulates that the maternity leave isn’t a handout. It’s typically a system that workers pay into, and then new mothers can draw from it during their leave from work. This can help bridge the gap in pay, especially for women who suffer from complications or take longer to recover from childbirth than is considered standard.
2
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and return to work depressed and bleary-eyed because she needs the money. It’s a bond we share when one of our own wins a Nobel Prize. We need feminism because my grandmothers were an English teacher and a stay-at-home mom. Because maybe they wanted to be CEOs or dentists or architects or business owners. Or journalists or firefighters. Because maybe it never occurred to them to want that. Because they didn’t always have a choice. Because families sometimes saved for their sons to go to college, but not their daughters. Because their generation told my mother’s generation that women only go to college to get their M.R.S.—to find a husband. Because they were told that their place was in the kitchen. Because they lived in a time when they had to wait for their prince to come. Because they couldn’t go out and live their dreams. We need feminism because in our most recent election, some women didn’t vote for the female candidate because she is female. Because they don’t think that a woman can run the country. In 2017. And that should scare you, shock you, disappoint you, no matter your political affiliation. We need feminism because women only hold 19.4% of seats in Congress and 21% of seats in the Senate.1 Because 1 in 5 is not equal representation. In the United States. In 2017. Because depending on the year and the surveying group, the statistics are the same for women who have been raped at some point in their lives: 1 in 5. And those numbers are higher with some ethnic groups. And that doesn’t count non-rape sexual violence. Or the victims who didn’t report it because they were ashamed. Because they thought it was their fault. In 21st-century America. We need feminism because women return to work as soon as six weeks after giving birth. In the United States. In 2017. Because we miss out on bonding time with our babies. Because we need the money. With spit up on our shirts and bags under our eyes. Because we haven’t had six straight hours of sleep in months. Or we have to quit our jobs because childcare is too expensive. And we miss out on all or part of our careers. Because in America, too many have to choose. And this isn’t what I call “choice.” Because out of 193 countries in the United Nations, the United States and a few small countries are the only ones that don’t have a national law for paid maternity leave. Because
“We are sisters… The nation—and the world— need our light.”
Women`s March on Washington, January 21, 2017: A record number of demonstrators descended on the nation`s capital to rally against the recently-inaugurated President of the United States, Donald Trump. This worldwide, grassroots movement was a series of political rallies organized for women`s rights as well as a myriad of other causes.
Photo: Erin Alexis Randolph | Dreamstime.com
many of the U.N. nations provide for six months or more.2 But not in the United States. In 2017. We need feminism because little girls should be allowed to dream big, to like robots and glitter and dinosaurs and tutus and sports. Because their brains, not their reproductive organs, dictate their interests. Because playing with trucks doesn’t make them “tomboys” any more than a boy who does ballet is a “sissy.” Because when I look at my daughters and say, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I want to honestly tell them, “You can! And more!” no matter their response. Because I don’t want to worry about them being groped or catcalled or ignored or not taken seriously or made to feel like their leggings will distract the boys. Because I never want them to feel like anyone else’s actions toward them are their fault because they are female. Because I want them to think that the law protects victims and see it protect them if any misfortune should befall them. Ever.
Finally, we need feminism because although we have made progress, we still aren’t equal. Not in the halls of government. Not in the HR department. Not in the streets. Not in the hospitals. We cannot put on blinders. We need feminism. For better or worse, we are women. And we must build each other up, not tear each other down. Supporting each other in our journey toward equality is vital for us to succeed. For everyone to feel equal, we need to share our stories, and we need to stand together. We are Lady Liberty. We are Mother Earth. We are sisters. We are the leaders and guiding lights of the world. We may have been “behind every good man” in the past, but now, more than ever, is our time to step up and shine. The nation—and the world— need our light. n Cori Wamsley is a book editor, writing coach, author, and speaker and the editor of Inspiring Lives Magazine. coriwamsley.com
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Feminism Spans
GENERATIONS
Women from their teens through their 70s expressed what feminism means to them and why we still need it. Even with their different stages of life, career paths, and backgrounds, the women's thoughts on feminism repeated one theme: everyone needs it, every gender on the spectrum, everywhere in the world. We have come a long way, but we must continue to rise together. Libby Jacobs, 69, Retired Theater Director Feminism is the acknowledgement that women should be granted the same rights and opportunities as men—socially, economically, politically, educationally. Biology does not dictate social and intellectual abilities. The movement is most effective when NOT viewed as strictly oppositional, women against men. Men can be strong, persuasive feminists. Kristin Trippett, 36, Dispatcher for Emergency Resources
have the same rights and privileges as men—and other women—do. As long as feminism isn't intersectional and women's rights aren't equitable to ALL women (women of color, disabled women, LGBTQ) then we still have a ways to go. Just because some populations, like women, technically have equal rights under the law doesn't mean that the same things are as easily attainable and accessible to them. Rev. Nettie Jorinda Bullitt, 71, United Methodist Pastor and Certified Professional Coach
As white women, it’s privilege to be able to say feminism is no longer necessary or that it's a bad thing. Millions of women do not have that privilege, and it's disgusting to me when white women say they have equality, so therefore there's no need for protests and marches. Racism, sexism, and homophobia are still rampant. Sexual assault and domestic violence are barely punished. Even if you've never been treated unequally, we should all stand together and fight for those marginalized to have the same treatment. We need feminism. We need to start raising boys who are feminists. Feminism is not a negative thing; it means equality for all humans.
Feminism means to fully embrace and articulate the pursuit and experience of the abundant life, God's plan for us, when created in His image, male and female. “God blessed them and said to them ‘be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it,’” basically “rule over it!” (Genesis 1:26ff ). GAIN MASTERY OF THIS LIFE! Feminism is how women gain and perpetuate mastery of this life. This is why I was compelled to participate in the women's march on Washington D.C. The mission of Daughters of Deborah Leadership Ministries LLC, which I manage, is to encourage women and girls to recover God's plans for their lives. Jesus said “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Gaining mastery of this life means abundant living as we determine for ourselves.
Ashley Boynes-Shuck, 33, Author and Patient Advocate
Josselyn Crane, 34, Owner/Jewelry Designer for Falkora Jewelry
Women have come a long way thanks to feminism and movements towards equality, but we aren't there yet: not until all women, and not just *some* women,
Feminism is about how damaging gender roles and defining people solely based on gender can be. The gender binary hurts women because they have less power
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in society. It hurts men because they have social power, but they must sacrifice their softer, emotional selves to have that. And it hurts the people who do not fit into the binary, like trans, genderfluid, and genderqueer people, because they are seen as less than because they don't fit into either socially acceptable group. I think we have to move away from the gender binary system as the only way we categorize people. Also, feminism must consider the effects of race and sexual orientation in addition to gender on someone's social status. I'm very much an intersectional feminist and want to examine and dismantle privilege in all its nuanced forms. Kamryn Caudill, 17, High School Junior Feminism isn't about power of females; it's more about equal rights. It’s also about how men get more favor. For example, in basketball men get paid more, NBA tickets are way more expensive, and it's way harder to get on the men’s basketball team than women’s. Feminism is needed to allow women to feel just as important at men. Dr. Renee Riffle McGinnis, 40, Physical Therapist and Professor Feminism means setting an example for my sons that women and men work together as a team for equality for all. That it doesn't matter our differences, race, religion, culture, ethnicity, or gender—all people deserve respect. I try to model this through my actions and reactions to events large and small. From an activist march to who takes out the trash, all actions have meaning, and I will forever be an advocate for equality. Emily Womeldorff, 21, Shepherd University Senior English Major, Gender and Women’s Studies Minor Feminism is social, political, and economical equality for everyone. Feminism isn't just about women. It has become a fight for anyone who has been placed into the “other” category by the patriarchy. We need feminism now because we must stand up to those in power
trying to keep us in these boxes marked as “other” and prevent us from reaching equality for everyone. Haseena Patel, 41, Co-founder/Executive Director of Leave No Girl Behind International “Feminism” is such a broad term because people have attached so many different meanings to the word. It is the movement to gender equality. Since women are marginalized and, legally, don't have the same basic human rights as men, the movement is about women and other marginalized gender groups getting to the point where all genders start on a level playing field. Samantha Barna, 23, History and Fashion Merchandising Major at Indiana University of Pennsylvania Feminism simply means equality. I really wish that we didn’t need to constantly advocate for our rights, that women received equal treatment and equal pay, that none of us experienced harassment, violence or discrimination—but until we live in a perfectly egalitarian world, we most certainly need feminism. As a student of history, particularly women’s history, I’m often reminded of the importance of feminism. We’ve come such a long way, but it’s important for us to continue standing up for ourselves and making our voices heard. Kimberly B. Adams, 58, Speaker and Founder, Principal, and Business Coach at Total Wealth Consulting, LLC Feminism is owning or reclaiming our power and effecting change in our own way. It comes from a place of divine knowing that we are powerful beyond measure. The need is still there because our needs and voice are not being fairly represented in policies and laws. And I just found out that one of the local (Pittsburgh, Pa.) Italian clubs allows women to be members, but they can’t yet vote! So, obviously we have a way to go.
We all need feminism. SPRING 2017
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HOW TO SHINE IN TODAY’S WORLD
W
hether you are an entrepreneur, business owner, employee, or the CEO of a household, if you want to bring your best self to the table, you must be willing to do one thing: shine. At first glance, shining may seem like an obvious and even simple concept, but once you step up to shine your light, you might be surprised by how tempting it is to reach for the dimmer. “Who am I to shine this bright?” “It’s selfish to take up this much space.” “I don’t want to seem rude.” “Give someone else a turn.” While you might know that you’re your best self when you shine, if you spend too much time in the spotlight, it can start to get uncomfortable. People might start to notice. You might start to wonder if you’re being “too much.” Your voice is heard, but now you’re unsure if what you have to say even matters that much. Shining your light into the world might not be the easiest thing to do, but it is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself and everyone else in your world. Whether you’re impacting 1 person or 1 million people in a day, the effects of your light remain the same: • When you shine, you allow others to do the same. • When you speak up, you dare others to follow suit. • When you stop asking for permission and start moving through your world with confidence, the quiet girl in the back of the room may wonder “Hey, could I do that too?” The domino effect begins. • When you ask for what you want, you are 100% more likely to get it than if you never ask at all. I like those odds. Your light is contagious, and if you want to be a source of good in this world, then it’s your JOB to share it with as many people as you can. The best part is that you already have everything you need to get started. You aren’t missing a thing. You don’t have to hire a guru to help you “find your light.” It’s right there, waiting for you to give it the go ahead to
Photo: Dennis Rodriguez
By Jenn Lederer
do what it does best—say it with me now—SHINE! But, because “Just shine your light, girl!” might feel a bit too broad to start out, here are three simple steps to help you shine your light into the world while making a difference and receiving even more blessings to fuel your fire. These steps are especially applicable to entrepreneurs, small business owners, and women who are out in the world inspiring lives! (See what I did there?) STEP 1: STORYTELLING Storytelling is one of the most powerful forms of communication that we have. It’s how history was passed down through generations, and it’s how an entrepreneur shares her big idea with a room full of potential investors. It’s important to know what it is you want to share, but it’s even more important to know how you want to share it. In other words—It’s not WHAT you do. It’s HOW you do it. It’s easy to get caught up in the details of what you want to say. What are the exact right words to use? What can you say to make them feel better? What is the most inspiring angle of the story? But the truth is that none of that matters if, when you go to say these magic words, you come across as cold, disconnected, small, insecure, or fearful. So, instead of getting bogged down with what you’re going to say, start playing around with how you want to say it. What kind of energy do you want to bring into the room? Do you want to be open? Inspiring? Funny? Motivational? Serious? Powerful?
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LIVING When it comes to storytelling and captivating your audience, big or small, your “how” will always be more powerful than your “what.” So, stop worrying so much about choosing the perfect words, and start sharing! Focus on the how. Get comfortable being seen. Play around with your message. No one remembers the girl at the party who said the perfect sentence, but they always remember the girl who shone her light into the room, just by being herself. Your energy tells your story. STEP 2: STRUCTURE Once you’re clear on how you want to shine your light into the world, it’s important to put it into a structure. Audiences (and people in general) appreciate structure. We naturally look for patterns, because we like to find ways to feel like we’re in control, like we can predict what’s going to happen next. Therefore, if you want your audience to feel at ease, it’s great to create a predictable structure of sorts. You see this all the time by the way a host will open or close a show using the same taglines or phrases, or the way that every movie theater has trivia questions, an intro, and ad for the concession stands followed by previews and then the movie. You know what to expect, so you’re more open to receive it. It feels familiar. You trust it. Trust—it’s important to build with an audience if you want to inspire them to change their lives in some way. Why should they trust you? If you want to build a strong following, then you have to make it easy for people to trust you and get to know you—good thing you got comfortable being seen during the first step! Develop a structure for how and when people can expect to hear from you. And, when they DO hear from you, it should be aligned with the kind of brand and message they would expect from you. Help your audience deal with the fact that they can’t predict the future, no matter how badly they want to: give them a structure to lean on. STEP 3: MARKETING Oh, marketing. The very piece that bridges a hobby and a career. The chance for you to shine your light and receive at the same time. Don’t be afraid to receive. Let people know what you’re worth. Stand in everything you have to offer. 20
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Marketing is where a lot of people, especially women, start to doubt the worthiness of their message. They wonder “Who am I to be saying this?” “Why are people going to care?” “What if they judge me?” Those thoughts are all perfectly normal, and I’ve never met a successful person who didn’t have those thoughts along the way. The difference is, they didn’t let those thoughts stop them. Marketing is where the rubber meets the road for your mission. This is an important step, not only for YOU, but for your audience too. If you don’t stand up to say “I’m here!” how will they know where to find you? If you don’t show them the different ways they can work with you, how will they know where to begin? Marketing isn’t about asking for something, it’s about creating an opportunity for even more connection. It’s about inviting your audience into your world a little more. It’s about knowing that it’s safe for you to shine and receive abundance in return. Stop playing small. Stop second guessing. Stop selling yourself short. Get out there, and tell them what you’ve got to offer. Don’t even THINK about giving them a discount either. You’re worth every penny. Play around with these steps in your business life, as well as your professional life. The important thing is that you continue to explore. Get to know yourself, your story, the structure that feels good for you, and then shine it into the world, one light beam at a time. n
Jenn Lederer is a motivational speaker, leadership coach, and creator of the podcast, Weekly Alignment™ (where humor meets wellness & business). While she works with a broad spectrum of clients, Jenn’s experience as the former COO of a talent management company gives her a unique insight working with those in the entertainment industry. With her wicked sense of humor, intuition, and no-bullshit approach to coaching & wellness, she is able to help her clients authentically see themselves and stop playing small. She can help guide you to the other side of fear; identify your patterns that hold you back and help you to redefine them so that you can authentically show up in the world. JennLederer.com
GINGER PILLAR:
Dancing Through Life’s Storms By Jen Forsyth
G
inger Pillar has been integral in bringing a passionate side of worship to life in multiple churches. She cares for those coming into this world. She cares for those in danger of leaving it. She has been in the position of almost leaving it herself. She has also been in charge of making change in legislation so other women are better off. As powerful of a force as she is, she is humble beyond words as we sit and discuss her beginnings as a dancer. “My first performance was at Ingomar Methodist Church in Pittsburgh, Pa. I started when I was 16. Northway has always had a dance ministry. It used to be more integrated. Then when we did all those presentations, it just became this big huge thing. Then we would do the presentations at Easter and Christmas, we cut down performances, and then throughout the year, we would probably do about three or four in-service pieces that were special. It’s just always been a part of our worship.” “It’s such a blessing to be able to do it. I didn’t have a huge dance background. I took six weeks of ballet in early high school. I just had a strange childhood where my parents weren’t able to get me into classes, so I learned in the church. I trained under dancers who had degrees from Point Park, master’s degrees from Ohio State. So I worked under those girls learning not only technique, but spirituality as well.” So why does Ginger’s style of dance resonate with people? “It’s not totally about the technique. It’s more about the spiritual expression and what that invokes for people.” For the past several years, Pillar has been in charge of the Dance Ministry at Northway Christian Community Church in Wexford, Pa. The Dance Ministry had to be put on hold as she was forced to deal with a personal struggle: breast cancer. Pillar was diagnosed in October 2011. “We were in the throes of rehearsals,” she remembers. “We had a bunch of little kids who I was choreographing for, and then we had the adult pieces. When I was 22
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diagnosed, first of course, I couldn’t focus on rehearsals. I started chemo the week of Thanksgiving. Nine days later, we did our first performance at Northway.” “So I was worrying when I was diagnosed and trying to figure everything out—‘What am I going to be like during chemo?’ I pulled myself out of one of the pieces, but the one piece I just couldn’t. ‘Praise the King’ was the piece that we did, and it was the most powerful piece. And it was my declaration!” Pillar exclaimed. “I can still praise my King!” Pillar brought in another dancer as an understudy, just in case. Thankfully, she was able to perform with no problems. Her hair began to fall out the Monday after the performances, eleven days after her first treatment of chemotherapy. Unfortunately, she was too ill to dance after that. Wondering if she would ever dance again was one of the hardest things for her. “I knew, number one, I was getting older,” she laughed. “As a dancer, longevity isn’t completely on your side anyway. It didn’t bother me that I was going to lose my hair. I mean it did some. The first time I danced when my hair was just started to grow back was after my double mastectomy. I took the scarf off in the middle of the piece, and I just had peach fuzz. When I was choreographing that piece, I got all emotional because I hadn’t realized even my long hair was part of my movement! Like when I would do an arch, with the long hair flowing in the back. I am a very visual person, so I would see what the audience would see, and it was like ‘Oh, I don’t have that prop anymore.’ It was like somebody took an arm. I didn’t realize I would react that way, and I’ve learned since then, and you learn to adapt. But that was part of the beauty of the dance too.” Physical symptoms such as webbing and lymphedema also cause issues for Pillar, but after five years, she shows no evidence of disease. Pillar’s personal experience has made her a force to be reckoned with. She has become active as an advocate and involved with several Pittsburgh organizations. “I started working with Glimmer of Hope when I was early in my diagnosis. I got involved with a com-
Photo: Linda Jackson
pany called Bright Pink, which was doing some things locally with American Eagle, and I spoke to them that first year. I did get some training with them to do some early detection, training young women about breast cancer, what is your family history, what is your risk, etc. They have a tool online you can use. I went to Chicago. They paid for me to have that training. Then I had some health issues, so then I couldn’t do it. But it was a blessing in disguise because I wanted to get more into the thick of things as far as research, and I got a call from Glimmer of Hope.” A pilot program via Allegheny Health Network began with ten women between the ages of 30–40 with breast cancer in early treatment. The integrative program includes massage, acupuncture, dieticians, helping with children, and more. It has gone so well that another group of ten women will start a program soon, and it may expand to other places. Pillar has also shown up on the political side of things. She works with the Tiger Lily Foundation, a breast cancer support, education, and advocacy foundation in Washington, D.C. They brought Pillar on to help speak to Congress about their U.S. Preventative Screening Task Force. At the time, the guideline age of first-time breast cancer screenings was going to be pushed back from 40 to 50 and to only have women screened every two years instead of annually with exceptions being made for higher-risk patients. “So we introduced two pieces of legislation that asked Congress to put a stop to this guideline, so we could
have experts speak about the guidelines. Of the people on the task force (who drew up the guidelines), there was not one radiologist, there was not one oncologist, there was not one breast surgeon.” Pillar and the rest of the advocates with Tiger Lily went to Capitol Hill, met with several lawmakers, and within two months, had the bill to stop the new regulations passed. What do cancer survivors and advocates like Pillar want people to take away from their stories? The Butler Hospital nurse (yes, through all of this she is still working) sums it up in one word: education. “It’s a matter of each of us educating ourselves and being aware of where our hard-earned money is going, and reaching out to groups and organizations that actually give 100% to metastatic research. 99.9% of breast cancer deaths are from metastatic cancer. That’s where we need to get research! You know we’re getting pretty good at this early detection stuff, trying to figure things out and trying to maintain people, but still, nothing has changed in 40 years as far as how many go metastatic.” n For more information on breast cancer organizations that support metastatic research—studying the spread of cancer cells throughout the body—please visit the following websites: • metavivor.org • symbolofthecure.com • tigerlilyfoundation.org
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DR. JAMES O’TOOLE:
Surgeon’s Focus on the Individual Heals Bodies, Replenishes Spirits By Jen Forsyth and Lydia Blank Nationally renowned, double board certified plastic surgeon Dr. James O’Toole is leading the way with the finest patient care available. His initial consultation always begins with a listening ear and a thoughtful discussion. While understanding his patient’s primary concern is critical, he dives deeper to learn about their lifestyle, hobbies, and daily routines to determine next steps. An individual’s daily activities can impact the timing of the procedure or which incision patterns might be used, and it could dictate whether the person should have the procedure at all. “The most important thing,” O’Toole explained, “is we are extraordinarily focused on the patient. Not just their outcomes, but on listening to what they really want and helping them achieve their goals.” Although he performs nearly every type of cosmetic procedure, including non-invasive procedures like cosmetic injections and chemical peels, his practice is best known for breast cancer care. O’Toole was one of the first plastic surgeons in the country to combine cosmetic and medically centered surgical techniques, allowing breast cancer patients to look better following mastectomy. “If the patient looks good, they feel better, which means they will heal faster.” He collaborates with surgical oncologists to not only remove the cancer, but also rebuild the patient’s body to look as good as possible following treatment. Dr. O’Toole’s passion for his patients’ self-esteem and personal needs developed when he was the plastic
surgeon chief resident at Long Island Plastic Surgery Group PC in New York City. There, he recognized the scarring that many procedures, like conventional mastectomies, leave behind and was determined to find a better way. Upon returning to his hometown in Pittsburgh, Pa., Dr. O’Toole became board certified with the American Board of Surgery and the American Board of Plastic Surgery. Today, more than a decade later, his private practice is thriving. No matter which procedure he performs, Dr. O’Toole strives to minimize his surgical footprint. “I want all my patients—whether breast cancer, melanoma, or even my cosmetic patients—to look as natural and as much like themselves coming out of surgery as they did going in. The goal is to look like I was never there.” O’Toole Plastic Surgery is located in the Shadyside neighborhood of Pittsburgh. Dr. O’Toole has surgical privileges at UPMC Shadyside, Magee Women's Hospital of UPMC, Allegheny General Hospital, West Penn Hospital, and St. Clair Hospital. To learn more, visit otooleplasticsurgery.com or call 412-345-1615. n
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InspiringLivesMagazine.com
SOCIETY SPOTLIGHT By Kelly Frost
FASHION WITH COMPASSION Fashion with Compassion is a beautiful annual Pittsburgh event to benefit the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women campaign. It was held at the Fairmont Hotel in Pittsburgh, sponsored by UPMC Health Plan, and hosted by Pittsburgh Magazine.
Left to right: Sindel Taylor, Mrs. Allegheny County 2017 and Debbie Banks
Andrea Zabinski, Dr. Shellie Hipsky
Left to right: Sepi Miller, Melissa Lakhadani, Annie Tamburro, Ana Harterner, Bita Mascara, Sumi Naik 26
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FASHION ALLEY
Left to right: Jacquelene Julianna Troiani, Leesa Miscevich Kassler, Berlin Miscevich, Jenny Lou
Fashion Alley at Hollywood Lanes was not only a memorable event, but also a charitable one, benefitting Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh Foundation. On this evening, James Houk wore the “hat” of a fashion designer. Houk lives locally but dreams globally as he is continuously imagining something incredibly unique, eclectic, and always gorgeous! He is an artist, designer, and visionary. Houk brought together amazing designers, models, and musical talent to make this an incredible, fun night at a bowling alley.
Left to right: Tiffany Tindell, Erin Michal, Diane Withrow, Victoria Winner, Alyssa Loughran, Gina Pacak, Dr. Shellie Hipsky, James Houk, Josy Nkuissi, Salvator Ignozzi, Cole Allen Taylor, Mariyah Wallace
Left to right: Bree Fesh, Malori Bailes, Michelle Lynn, Cheryl Mills, Brian Thompson, Kimberly Stubblefield, Bianca Clark, Joanna Wentling, Divauna Taravella SPRING 2017
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SOCIETY SPOTLIGHT
WOMEN OF ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS The Women of Achievement Awards honorees are selected based on excellence in their fields, significant contributions to the betterment of their communities, and outstanding accomplishments for the advancement of women. Nearly 300 guests attended this heartfelt event at the Omni William Penn hotel, including notable Pittsburghers, alumnae honorees, and dignitaries. This year we are thrilled to announce that our editor-in-chief, Dr. Shellie Hipsky, was chosen as one of the honorees.
Left to right: Left to right: Dr. Shellie Hipsky, Judy Bannon, Kelly Frost
Left to right: Dr. Shellie Hipsky, Judy Bannon, Kelly Frost Left to right: Sepi Miller, Melissa Lakhadani, Annaie Tamburro, Ana Harterner, Bita Mascara, Sumi Naik
Left to right: Valerie Lerch, Josy Nkuissi, Dr. Shellie Hipsky, Kelly Frost, Nettie Jorinda Bullitt, Wadria Taylor, Samantha Barna, Kim Adley 28
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BUSINESS IN THIS SECTION: Impossible is Nothing
Mary Lee Gannon.............................................. 30
Make Your Life and Business Extraordinary
Darieth Chisolm................................................. 34
The Value of Human Connection in Leadership
Deb Gray.......................................................... 37
Patsy Anderson: The Woman Behind the Women’s Expo
Jen Forsyth........................................................ 41
Leadership Lesson Series—Part 1: Inner Driven Leadership
Diane Lazarowicz................................................ 43
“Option A is not available. So let’s kick the sh** out of option B.” —Sheryl Sandberg
By Mary Lee Gannon
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I
f I believed anyone who told me it was impossible to go from being a single mother of four children under seven years old while on welfare to getting hired as a CEO, it might have dragged me down. So I didn’t ask anybody if they thought I'd succeed. I just went about my work and goals as if I could not fail. Over the last 20 years I have led organizations with up to $26 million in assets. I increased trade show attendance 150% my first year as executive director of a trade association. I led a campaign to add a patient pavilion and healing garden when people said, “That will never happen.” And I led a $10.4 million capital campaign for a heart center, new ER, and Women’s and Infants’ Center on the heels of the largest hospital bankruptcy in U.S. history. “Impossible” is just a lofty word thrown around by people who play it safe. It is a notion to believe that just because something isn’t mainstream or the norm it cannot be done. More significantly, it is a trigger message laid down from previous experience by well-meaning people who wanted to protect you from disappointment. “Don’t take this risk because you will fail and be hurt.” Impossible is not a fact. It is an opinion. It's nothing. All the leaders I coach want the same thing: to encourage their teams, clients, and customers to take action. An engaging presence happens when you align your intention with your attention and emotions. This results in the balance of fear and hope. But how do you take yourself to the edge of where your comfort zone meets revolution to have that balanced presence? Everybody likes to feel comfortable. You want to grow, innovate, and soar with eagles, but sometimes when you do, your comfort zone clips your wings right at takeoff.
You know the feeling of imminent success: it’s when you sense that adrenaline thrill and a twinge of fear at exactly the same moment. You are excited to see what happens next. You have the confidence to jump off the cliff of security and know that you will fly and not descend to the ground like Wile E. Coyote. You have a clear line of sight to the horizon even though you are not sure what is there. The destination need not be in vivid view. You just know you will get there. I never saw being successful as impossible. I didn’t even see it as a dare. I saw it as inevitable. I was mindful of my goal, which was to be successful in the shortest time possible. I had four children who were hungry and needed an education. Failure was not an option. The path to centered leadership is not linear. Leaders zig-zag every day. Lean in to the questions that arise along the way. Squeeze into that space between “I’m not sure” and “I am really excited” to uncover opportunity. Allow your questions to lead you down the path. Don’t seek answers. Just listen. Solutions will come into view when you are completely open and vulnerable to them. You need not have it all figured out. Self-awareness is your guide, not anxiety. Allow discomfort to be part of the process. Don’t run from it, or it will run your life. Pause, and be curious about the journey. Who is there? What is important? Meaning is right in front of you. When you play it safe, meaning has no one to soar with. Disappointment is the result of unmet expectations. I focus on goals and outcomes in my work because that is how we measure and retool. I do not expect to control the process of how I get there. I do plan—then allow innovation to unfold and trust the process along the way. I need not control everything.
“Impossible” is just a lofty word thrown around by people who play it safe.”
BUSINESS I got over the fear of rejection early as I processed the realities of divorce. I learned to lean in to vulnerability when I was afraid because leaning out left me detached from even the good feelings such as joy, love, and fulfillment. And I realized the value of living in the moment as I became an observer of life as opposed to being the conductor of it. There is magic in silence. So when anyone tells you your goals are impossible, I suggest that you ask them what they would do if they knew they could not fail. If they can’t answer, you’ll know where they’ll be in three years. The bigger question is where do you want to be in three years? n
Mary Lee Gannon
Corner office freedom coach Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an award-winning executive coach who helps busy executive leaders and business owners get off the treadmill to nowhere with mindful confidence, connection, and calm to have a higher six figure income and more time with the people who matter while it still matters. Gannon has a unique perspective with 20+ years as a CEO of organizations worth up to $26 million. Contact her at marylee@ StartingOverNow.com. Watch her Free Training at www.StartingOverNow.com.
Make Your Life and Business
EXTRAORDINARY By Darieth Chisolm
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lease read and say out loud: I absolutely have what it takes to make my life and my business extraordinary. Ok, say it again! I’m cheering you on as you make this declaration. How? You may be asking. Get really clear on what you desire and dream of and only focus on all things necessary to manifest your desires with ease (though not without effort). What would your life look like if you really went for it? If you accomplished the things you only admit to craving in your heart and mind. The more you focus on what could happen if you really showed up for yourself, the more you will be guided toward your own mega success. What the world needs right now are confident women who are proud of being superstars, rock stars, icons, moguls, queens, angels, or whatever avatar you refer to yourself as when you are feeling on top of the world. We don’t have to be driven by our egos, become self-obsessed, or turn into workaholics to have the success we desire, as long as we remember that we are no more or no less deserving than anyone else, only capable of and willing to claim our purposes and living our dreams. If you’re committed to continuous growth in your life, you have to get clear on your desires. We can’t keep living our lives the same way and expect a different result. So no matter where you are in your journey, if you’re one of those out there right now thinking, “Yes, it’s time to create more for me—it’s time to do something different,” then here are four ways to make your life and your business extraordinary. DREAM IN COLOR Imagine in detail what life would look like if there were no limitations or consequences. This is the part that nobody else can help you with—it’s between you and your maker. Take ownership of what you are go34
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ing to pursue, invest in, and spend your time on. Give yourself permission to have everything you need to be in your power, with all of the time and resources to keep you happy, excited, and at your best. TAKE ACTION & GET SUPPORT How well are you set up for success in your weekly routines and habits? It’s possible you need to make some key changes or invest better in your wellness. Do you need to get to bed earlier and get up earlier? Does hiring the personal trainer to work on your fitness or the personal assistant or housekeeper to free up more of your time make sense for you? What is going to be different about your life that will have you more fully in your power? Commit to taking action and getting the support that you need. COLLABORATE WITH OTHERS There are women out there really living their dreams! Go find them, and hang out with them! Soak up their energy, get their advice, be mentored by them. Most are willing to share how they’ve created their success and will get you there even faster than they did. Also, find a community that will be there for you in creating the major changes you wish to see. The more support you allow yourself, the more you will be able to create and therefore give, and the more powerful you will become. Women entrepreneurs know how to band together, because they know there is always more we can accomplish by joining forces and supporting each other. And while working together can be a great benefit for everyone involved, it’s also important to have fun with other women who are up to big things in the world and know how to live beautifully, too. HAVE FAITH AND TRUST It’s crucial that you believe your desires are in you for a reason. Maybe no one else can hear what’s inside
you, but that does not make it wrong or impossible. You get what you focus on and you attract what you believe, so you have to do the work of anchoring in your vision and having full faith that it is meant for you. Make sure you meditate on your desires daily, spend time with your vision board, journal, and do affirmations to attract the miracles you need. There are so many books and resources out now on the law of attraction. Choose one, and do the work. Want more ways to make your life and your business extraordinary and set yourself up for your best year ever? I invite you to download my 7 Steps to a Successful Side Hustle. It’s a free handout and audio training. You can use these 7 steps to create anything you desire: lose weight, have a better relationship, make more money, get out of debt, and yes, create your successful business. n
Darieth Chisolm is a visibility coach and multi-media strategist who coaches women to become confident and outrageously successful, conveying their brand, message, and mission to the world through online media platforms. Chisolm is an Emmy Award-winning television personality, former NBC news anchor, entrepreneur, author, speaker, and business coach who is also a Top 10 Trailblazer in Communications by Walker’s Legacy and a top video podcast show host for Hustle & Heart TV with Darieth Chisolm. Hustle & Heart TV was a Top 10 Finalist for the 2015 Podcast Awards for Best Video Podcast. You can read more from her in her book Hustle! Why Now is the Time to Unleash your Passions and find out how you can work with Darieth at www.DariethChisolm.com.
Photo: Ray Feather
Visit www.JoinTheHustle.com.
The Value of Human Connection in Leadership By Deb Gray
I
n Pittsburgh, Pa., the “City of Champions,” we hear a lot about team. While managing my office team, and coordinating care for my elderly parents, I have learned that success depends on teamwork. What makes a good team? How do you motivate a team? What are the challenges and rewards of developing and leading teams? In my early retail career, I focused on accomplishing tasks—how much work I could get done—working harder and longer than others. I gradually learned it was not all about me, but about those who worked with me. As I managed and guided construction teams across the country, I learned about different communication styles and about the individuals who made up our team of 45. I truly had to understand “them” to help “us” achieve common goals. I can honestly say it was an ongoing effort to keep all of us focused on our customers, co-workers, and the completion of projects. I was criticized for being hard-nosed in a mostly male world. I was fact-based, very direct in my communication style, and not patient with learning. Fast forward to 2007, when I became a franchise owner of Express Employment Professionals. Selecting individuals who would adopt my work ethic and who share my passion for serving others through employment opportunities was critical. Now, my money and success were on the line, and like many new business owners, I made some bad hires. What did I learn? 1. You must know the whole person 2. You must care about them and what they want and need
3. You must support their goals in parallel to the business goals Through Express’ Leadership Academy, I am fortunate to have access to ongoing leadership training. Our focus is on a culture of accountability with communication being the link between trust and performance. My approach to staff development now focuses on our vision, culture, values, expectations, development, and continuous learning. I have learned that my business depends on each individual’s overall development as well as how they contribute to company goals. I must understand their motivators, show gratitude, provide rewards, be patient, and integrate varying personalities for a seamless offering to our customers. I have learned to focus on retention versus recruiting and turnover. To retain a connected, cohesive team, I must always find empathy and compassion without enabling or condoning less than honorable behavior. I must strive to support each member of my team—many of whom are single mothers—and to understand their life challenges while maintaining our workplace code of honor. One of my daily goals is to help my team members grow professionally, financially, and personally. As they grow, so does their confidence and their passion for Deb Gray serving our business clients who need good workers and our candidates who need a good place to work. I see it as proof that developing a human connection with team members leads us all to success. n Photo: Express Employment Professionals
BUSINESS
Deb Gray, owner of the award-winning Pittsburgh West office of Express Employment Professionals, is an active business leader in the regional community and a proud supporter of many local charities and educational institutions.
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Marilyn Harris Davis, Urban Health Beat Radio
Cecilia Ugarte, Kaiser Permanente
Cynthia De Lorenzi
Left to Right: Judy Templeton , Baltimore Hon; Kathleen Taylor, Fox 45 Baltimore, B More Healthy Expo; Patsy Anderson, WOLB 1010 AM Radio, MD Women's Expo; Kimber Goodwin, Bill Boards, Blonde Marketing Baltimore Preakness; Denise Whiting , Cafe Hon, Baltimore Hon Fest; Bonnie Hockstein, Baltimore Hon
PATSY ANDERSON:
The Woman Behind the Women’s Expo By Jen Forsyth • Photography by Laura’s Eye Photography
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atsy Anderson has a passion for empowering women and encouraging them to lead. Women become effective leaders when you teach them to recognize what they are worth. For the past 15 years, Anderson has run the Maryland Women’s Expo, helping connect women and their businesses, as well as educating the women who participate about the types of events they participate in so they can be successful and profitable. Anderson says there truly is a difference between a conference, a festival, and an expo, and women in business should carefully consider which ones they join. “It’s like buying a vacuum cleaner to polish your hardwood floors,” Anderson explains. “The two machines may look alike, but their purpose is different. Without directions, you may never learn how to use the machine properly. That is what I’m passionate about—expos and conferences are different machines, and you will not get the best results without understanding what you are buying into.” “I’d love for others to have an idea of what a promoter is all about, their commitment to the community, and exposure. It’s a topic I’ve dedicated my life to.” Anderson began her expo crusade at a time when there wasn’t a strong internet marketing presence and when social media didn’t exist. “I started the Maryland Women’s Expo 15 years ago, pre-Facebook, social media, and event website internet presence for women. Why? Because women were not participating in expos, nor did they know or understand the difference. Like many things, social media and internet began to blur the lines of who is a promoter and what is an expo or a conference. Suddenly anything with vendors was an expo or a conference.” “We closed our first expo with over 200 women in business and had no idea who was in business 15 minutes from where I live. Women still do not advertise
much, run television or radio commercials, or invest in billboards or large exposure. They tend to run in network circles. While this is all wonderful, expos invite in the general public, and this is specifically where the big difference is. It has always amazed me that the women’s industry doesn’t often utilize so many advertising outlets.” This is the reason AnPatsy Anderson derson does more than just feature a woman at one of her expos. She gets to know the individual. She empowers her. She counsels her. She makes sure she follows up with that woman. This is not a case of having that woman as a client and never seeing her again. Anderson takes the time to find out the person’s talents and what makes her tick. She wants her to have the power to be as successful and make as much money as possible. “I am passionate about this line of work, and hope this article will be a reminder of why promoters are not event planners, and the critical role they play in the community.” The top four promoters who stand out as powerful inspirations to Patsy Anderson are Kathleen Taylor of the B More Healthy Expo, Kimber Goodwin of Blonde Marketing and the Baltimore Preakness, Denise Whitening of Café Hon and Baltimore Hon Fest, and Pittsburgh’s own Valerie Lerch of Posh Events. Promoting and empowering women in business is a passion Patsy Anderson has dedicated her life to, and those women who cross her path will be more successful as a result. n
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LEADERSHIP LESSONS SERIES—Part 1:
Inner Driven Leadership
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s I work with leaders, we discuss leadership based on best practices such as influence, vision, empowerment, and accountability. These are the measurable fundamentals of leadership that most leaders possess to varying degrees. By developing these external skills, one would indeed become a better leader. However, what if the leadership development journey began by connecting those external leadership skills to what one thinks and feels on the inside. Would this internal connection enhance one’s leadership development? I think so, and over the next three issues, we will discuss inner driven leadership and how connecting external leadership skills to one’s core can enrich the leadership experience. Each article will cover one of the three competencies necessary to achieve inner driven leadership: personal, social, and behavioral competence. Let’s start by discussing the root of inner driven leadership—personal competence. Personal competence embraces the discovery of our core values, personal mission statement, and authenticity. This awareness sets the foundation for inner driven leadership and embodies who we are as individuals. Our core values define who we are and guide our decisions and behavior. So, what are your core values? Have you ever taken the time to think about what is really at the center of your core? Today we will do just that. Write down all the values you hold dear. For example, a few core values leaders typically name include trust, integrity, service, prosperity, risk, security, family, diversity, dependability, courage, power, loyalty, harmony, success, teamwork, and humor. Do not be limited by these as there are many more. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. Write down the values most important to you. If you are struggling with this, email me at info@TopPerformanceResults. com for a list. When complete, narrow this list down to your top ten core values. Once again, narrow your list further until you have only five. These are the top five core values that define who you are. Does your leadership style incorporate your top five? If not, to achieve true inner
driven leadership, try to blend them into your current leadership style. Now, let’s think about your personal mission statement. This is a brief statement that clarifies your purpose and identifies what is important to you. You are a reflection of your personal mission. This type of clarity can have a profound effect on your leadership development. Let us now create a personal mission statement. Start by asking yourself the following questions: • Who am I? • What do I want to do? • Who do I want to help? • How will I help them? • How will it benefit the world? Take a few moments to reflect before you begin to answer the questions. Here is a simple example to illustrate what your personal mission statement may look like: Who am I?.................................... Jane Doe
What do I want to do?................... Prevent experimental testing on animals Who do I want to help? ................ Animals How will I help them?.................. Send signed petitions to Congress How will it benefit the world? ..... Cruelty to animals will cease to exist Are you surprised by what you wrote? Did you learn anything about yourself? Are you incorporating your personal mission statement into your leadership style
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Photo: Clare Ascani Photography
By Diane Lazarowicz
BUSINESS to achieve inner driven leadership? If not, think about doing so. The last of the personal competencies is authenticity. Leaders who are authentic are self-aware and align their core values and their personal mission. This alignment allows for a unified leadership style. For example, let us say one of your core values is honesty, a very common core value. While at work, your boss tells you to lie and change some of the numbers on an accounting report to show a loss less than reality. This situation would probably distress you. Why? Because this goes against one of your fundamental core values, honesty. To achieve authenticity, your core values and personal mission must be in alignment. So, the question is—Are your core values, personal mission statement, and leadership style in alignment? If not, determine what is out of sync and try to realign them. Inner driven leadership is truly effective when in complete alignment with who you are and what you seek. Today we took the first steps toward becoming inner driven leaders. We did so by recognizing our top five core values, which gave us insight into understanding who we are. Next, we developed our personal mission statement, which guided us toward recognizing our
purpose. And, last, we have hopefully achieved authenticity by aligning our core values with our personal mission. Take time now to reflect on what you have discovered and try to blend this insight with your current leadership style. As I mentioned earlier, this is the first of a three-part series about inner driven leadership. My next article will discuss the second competency of inner driven leadership: social competency. Here we will discuss communication and its impact on leadership. In addition, we will talk about teamwork and mentorship. Many leaders I work with believe they are mentoring when they are actually not! Could you be one of those leaders? Find out in the second part of the series. You do not want to miss it! n Diane Lazarowicz is a communication and leadership expert who helps women trust their inner voice to achieve their goals. She has over thirty-five years of professional business experience and is a Suma Cum Laude graduate of Robert Morris University (Moon, Pa.). As a life-learner, she is also a graduate of the Referral Institute (Houston, Pa.) and the Dale Carnegie Skills for Success program (New York, NY). In addition, Lazarowicz serves on the board of directors for the Pittsburgh Airport Chamber of Commerce and is co-chair of the membership committee. She is also a volunteer and advocate of the Choices youth program. www.TopPerformanceResults.com
YOU C AN'T DO IT ALONE A S AN ENTREPRENEUR! To inspire and encourage you during the challenges of entrepreneurship, you need a like-minded community. Pittsburgh Women's Mastermind is a place where you can experience personal and professional growth, as well as supportive connections with other heart-centered entrepreneurs. Contact Host Joy Bufalini: joy@joybufalini.com
We have groups meeting both in Robinson and Cranberry Townships each month. We'd love for you to visit and see if membership is right for you.
Learn more and register for our next meeting at
Photo: COTERIE Company
WWW.PITTSBURGHWOMENSMASTERMIND.COM
A Mobile Boutique HAVE FA SHION, WILL TR AVEL Girls Night Out • Festivals • Home Parties Fundraisers • Fashion Shows Customer Appreciation Days
MYSTYLETRUCK.COM
BOOKS, ART, MUSIC & FILM IN THIS SECTION: Jess Branas: In Tune with What Women Want, Dream of, and Deserve
Suzanne Hobbs.................................................. 49
MOVIE REVIEW: Hidden Figures
Nicole Narvaez Manns....................................... 53
MUSIC REVIEW: Lydia Elle
Jess Branas........................................................ 55
“If there’s a book you really want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” —Toni Morrison
JESS BRANAS In Tune with What Women Want, Dream of, and Deserve By Suzanne Hobbs • Photography by James Ray
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hether she’s dressed in a tux at a red-carpet event or out walking her dog Nacho, Jess Branas loves life, and it shows. She’s known for her fantastic smile that draws people to her. Sometimes, it’s as if everyone wants to talk to her. Her message, like her smile, is powerful and inspiring. “Women are such beautiful creatures,” she said. “I want women to know they have so much to offer.” To do this, Branas has branched out over the years. Today, she’s not just a well-loved high school Spanish teacher in New Jersey, but also a popular LGBT dating coach and radio personality coast to coast with her podcast, “Drinks with Jess.” More recently, she has added best-selling author to her resume with her two books, written from the heart. Seeking Her, Knowing You and Zero to Ninety focus on relationship advice
and how to work for what you want from the inside out. Her honest life lessons come from her own experiences, good or bad, joyful or heartbreaking. When she spoke of her mission and life message, Branas said, “I love people. I have a lot to share with others. It doesn’t matter what community you are in, gay or straight, my message is resonating. That makes me so happy.” As a relationship expert among the LGBT community, she has been the voice for women struggling not only with relationships but also with themselves. Her insightful knowledge of personal growth and relationships is available for anyone who wants to listen, though. “I’m honored that people not only in the LGBT community want to hear my message. That’s what keeps me going, the love from my fans.”
“Jess helped make me feel alive again. I’m stepping out of my box and throwing that box away ‘like a boss.’” —Elaine A Grasso SPRING 2017
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DESIGNER TUX BY EVA DIXON Jess’s custom, Rat Pack-inspired suit was created by Eva Dixon, designer of I DO Designs by Eva and owner of Once Upon a Bride and Groom. Dixon has over 17 years of experience in bridal wear and has been sewing and designing since she was a child. She offers a full-service experience encompassing everything from bridal gowns and accessories to suit rentals. Dixon’s professional achievements are even more remarkable, given that she has recently overcome some serious obstacles—she spent months in the hospital last year recovering from an intestinal blockage, then went on to suffer a heart attack and stroke resulting from post-surgery complications. She hasn’t let health issues slow her down though, Dixon is incredibly dedicated to her clients, going so far as to bring her sewing machine to the hospital to have fittings with brides. “You end up on the ground and you come up swinging,” she says. This determination is also evident in her commitment to ensure that every bride (or groom) looks and feels their best on their special day. As a designer, Dixon works closely with each bride to understand her vision of her special day. Every bride has unique needs, whether petite, tall, plus size or even those dealing with concerns caused by medical issues. Dixon enjoys working to create gowns that will make each bride feel fabulous on her big day. As an experienced industry professional, Dixon has a wealth of knowledge. She educates brides on the frequently complex process of selecting and purchasing a wedding gown. Her #1 piece of advice? Start early. Dixon is happy to help brides simplify the planning process by offering exceptional service, from oneon-one appointments to in-home fittings and delivery, to ensure that every bride truly feels like a princess on her special day.
Branas and I were among the 100 women chosen to be featured in Dr. Shellie Hipsky’s Common Threads trilogy that shares success secrets of empowering women. After reading about her, I knew I wanted to meet her. In March 2016, I had my opportunity at Dr. Shellie’s Inspiring Lives Mastermind in Pittsburgh, Pa. It was a day packed full of powerful women speaking about their lives, goals, and missions. When Branas was about to take the stage, I noticed she radiated joy, confidence, and enthusiasm. As she spoke, her passion for helping women was infectious. Her vibe, contagious. Branas actually “Jess taught me to love teaches one of her who you are and be strong, secrets to having such an inviting no matter the situation.” presence in her —Leesa Miscevich Kassler first relationship book, Seeking Her, Knowing You. Part of her attracting energy is that when she speaks to someone, she is absolutely focused on them 100%. In the fall of 2016, Branas released her second best-seller, Zero to Ninety. It goes through the first 90 days of dating and building a strong foundation in that important time. Not one to sit down and say “that’s good enough,” Branas is far from done sharing her experiences. She is ready to tackle a third book and has many more goals for 2017. “I think a documentary about dating and relationships is next,” she said excitedly. “It would be a really cool project. It’s such a big topic to tackle.” Over the past year, I actually applied her relationship advice with my boyfriend of four years. The lessons resonate with anyone who wants to do better in life and love if you’re willing to listen. Branas said, “At the end of the day, on the inside, we all have the same organs. The differences, the rest is just in our head. We all go through similar experiences.” It’s also important to note, Branas lives what she teaches. At the Inspiring Lives Magazine launch last fall, she was a stand-out star in the room—and not just on the dance floor! That evening, I noticed that she could start a conversation with anyone and ended up exchanging phone numbers, posing for photos, and making new connections every single time.
Photo: Stephanie Wells
Dresses Theodora James by Portia Brady, Jewerly by Sandie Grindel, Tux by Eva Dixon, and Makeup by Kourtney Leech
How did she get those great people skills? Branas credits growing up both Catholic and Jewish. “How I was raised taught me about people,” she said with a smile. “It allowed me to associate, gay or straight, whatever their race. I paid attention to women, and I have a greater appreciation of what women want.” Branas considers herself “fun, optimistic, charismatic” and “loyal to my friends and family.” She said she doesn’t even tell herself “no.” Being able to describe who she is at her core is part of what she said helped her become the person she is today. So, what advice would Branas give someone starting a journey of change? 1. Take time to meditate. Use positive thinking exercises. Avoid words about how you look, and instead, think about strengths, abilities, and skills. Do it daily so it becomes a habit. 2. Cut out toxic people. Do not give them free space in your brain. Push them aside because they are only hurting you.
3. Take action for the life you want. Don’t let fear hold you back, and don’t give up. “Sometimes there are 3,000 different paths to get to your goal. You may need to walk many of those paths to get where you want to be, so just take those steps,” she advises. Branas turned 40 a few months ago, and she believes this next decade will be filled with many avenues for sharing her mission. She said, “I love helping people find what they have to offer. I’m just getting started.” n Get to know Branas at www.dwjphl.com. Suzanne Hobbs is an international best-selling children’s author, writer, and speaker. She is also the national media spokesperson for the safe surrender of unwanted newborns through the National Safe Haven Alliance. Connect with her at www.suzannehobbs.com.
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PRIORY HOSPITALITY Revitalizes Pittsburgh’s Legacy of Historic Buildings By Cori Wamsley
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estled in Pittsburgh, Pa’s North Shore are the beautiful, award-winning 42-guestroom Priory Hotel and the adjacent Grand Hall event facility. These spaces are not only lovely, but also historic. They are in the former St. Mary’s Church and Priory, built in 1852 and 1888 respectively, and are part of the Priory Hospitality Group, a lodging and food service company owned by John and Suzanne Graf. The couple invests in historic and unique locations in the Pittsburgh area and already boasts several gems. In 2005, Priory Hospitality expanded by purchasing an acclaimed commercial and retail bakery with sandwich and coffee shop—Priory Fine Pastries located in Deutschtown. The bakery serves its customers in the original D. L. Clark Candy building on East Ohio Street, built in 1903. Built in 1890, the vacant Westinghouse Air Brake Company General Office Building—known as “The Castle”—in Wilmerding joined their roster in 2016. The Grafs hope to convert the 50,000 square foot building into a destination, resort-style boutique hotel, event facility, and restaurant and are seeking investors for the restoration.
Once the Gilded Age mansion of prominent lawyer Willis McCook, the 22-guestroom Mansions on Fifth Hotel in Shadyside now hosts overnight guests as well as parties, weddings, and other celebrations. The Grafs ac52
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quired this property in 2016, as well, and are especially proud of the property’s Oak Room pub. “It reminds you of a private club in the heart of London,” John said. Priory Hospitality and its partners are considering several projects in Pittsburgh’s North Side for the near future. They are planning a new 96-guestroom Comfort Inn and Suites Hotel in East Deutschtown adjacent to the former Workingman’s Bank building, built in 1902, which they will renovate. The Workingman’s Bank building has an interesting history, once serving as an alternative incarceration space for those convicted of alcohol-related criminal offenses. After renovation, it will serve as an elegant event facility, with a brewpub and restaurant located on the top floor. The brewpub’s roof deck will feature a spectacular view of downtown and the Strip District. Graf said that everyone is excited about the outdoor space for the brewpub, but they will be “blown away by the banquet space.” The two-story hall promises to be classically stunning with marble walls and columns. Both facilities are slated to open by early summer 2018. For more information on the existing facilities, please visit the websites: thepriory.com, pittsburghsgrandhall.com, or prioryfinepastries.com.
MOVIE REVIEW HIDDEN FIGURES By Nicole Narvaez Manns fountains were still in place, these three brilliant minds worked together to calculate the figures needed to ultimately get our U.S. astronauts into space. Johnson, in particular, became a key player in providing the calculations needed to change the game at NASA. The movie opened showing how gifted Johnson was with numbers as a child and how she progressed to be one of the most brilliant minds of our time. She was not only an amazing mathematician but a beloved wife, mother, and daughter, as well. Mary Jackson’s story was equally compelling as the movie highlighted her drive to become the first black female engineer at NASA. Watching her present her case to the powers that be and diligently focus on her goal touched me in more ways than one, as a woman who strives to defy the odds myself. She was the feisty go-getter who addressed injustice in a time when it was safer to be quiet. Photo: 24-Hour Woman
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epending on which study or article you read, a woman either can or can’t have it all. No matter what, there is no denying being a female in the current world is stressful. Managing a job, family, and other passions and interests can leave anyone a mess, wondering how to gain more hours in the day. It can make one wonder “How do others do it?” I was born in 1971, just 10 short years from when the eye-opening feature Hidden Figures was set. This movie, starring Oscar-winning and Oscar-nominated actresses, showcased three African American women working as mathematicians for NASA in the segregated 1960s. Katherine Johnson (Taraji P. Henson), Mary Jackson (Janelle Monáe), and Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer) were friends who shared their personal lives, as well as triumphs and disappointments, as black women working not only in a male-dominated, but also largely white environment at NASA, in Hampton, Va. While “colored only” bus sections, lunch counters, and water
Photo: 20th Century Fox SPRING 2017
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FILM Vaughan was a brilliant woman as well. She was the first African American supervisor at NASA and lead with patience and expertise. She ensured that her subordinates were kept abreast of all that was going on in their workplace, and when she had the opportunity to advance, she made sure she brought her co-workers along with her. This movie shone a light on a time when the country was just starting to make some changes in race relations, and these women’s stories go a long way in showing the world what they had to endure, while carving out lives for themselves. Released on Christmas Day, 2016, this movie is a true gift to all ages and races, as it so expertly displays the power of determination, education, talent, and hard work. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing it twice, the second time with my 11-year-old son, who found it to be a great movie. It’s a wonderful piece of art to show children because they will be astounded by the injustice but fortified by the ultimate success of the women. It’s a must-see, so please, go see Hidden Figures on the big screen! n
Photo: Colville Heskey
MUSIC REVIEW THE LIGHT OF LYDIA ELLE By Jess Branas I can’t say enough about Lydia. Although we have not had the honor of meeting yet, her presence is felt, through her song and her word. At first, it was a YouTube link that introduced me to this songstress, but she is much more. As I watched her sing “Ain’t No Way” by the diva of all divas, Aretha Franklin, my heart felt strong. Wanting to cry and shout an astounding “Yes” as she showed her heart and soul, I had goosebumps on the outside to match. Her gospel sound mixed with nothing short of a voice and passion of all the greats, Lydia has an impeccable gift that makes you addicted to love, power, and hope. And in this world, it’s a voice and word we all need to hear.
Lydia, like many of us, has had obstacles. However, she uses these experiences to grow closer to herself and God to seek answers, and she wrote about it in her book And So I Prayed… . Through her journey, she helps others grow from unforeseen obstacles as well as consequences from their choices. This inspirational woman is as authentic as they come, and she exudes it in every moment. Whether it’s her honest words, spiritual sound, humble personality, or bright smile, Lydia is a force and a light that can be felt from miles away. n For more information: Lydiaelle.com
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FOOD & TRAVEL IN THIS SECTION: Passport to Inspiration: Venice Beach, CA
Kim Adley.......................................................... 58
RESTAURANT REVIEW: Monterey Bay Fish Grotto
Jen Forsyth........................................................ 62
“I travel light. I think the most important thing is to be in a good mood and enjoy life, wherever you are.” —Diane von Furstenberg
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Photo: Ray Feather
RIVAL • AR AR
VENICE BEACH, CALIFORNIA By Kim Adley • Photography by Kim Adley While on a recent trip to Los Angeles, I decided to flee the hustle, bustle, and traffic of LA for an overnight escape to the beach. I headed to a charming little beach town that engulfed me with sights, sounds, tastes, and experiences. The diversity and energy there is so palpable that anyone and everyone can find a “happy place” in Venice Beach, California. After checking in at my hip and chic boutique hotel, The Hotel Erwin, I was directed by a most helpful concierge to the expansive 2 ½ mile cement Venice Beach boardwalk just one block away that runs parallel to a wide and beautiful beach on the Pacific Ocean. It was there I sipped a mimosa garnished with a California orange slice at The Sidewalk Café and watched the greatest show on earth unfold before my eyes… PEOPLE. I saw the rich and the famous, the poor and the homeless, moms pushing strollers, seniors with canes, surfers in wet suits, skateboarders, bikers, joggers and tourists, musicians and artists, and me all co-mingling on the sun-bathed boardwalk of Venice Beach. It was totally energizing and entertaining. After breakfast, I started my stroll along the boardwalk to Muscle Beach, the famous oceanfront gym just oozing testosterone. Here suntanned bodybuilders lifted weights while onlookers observed with both amusement and admiration. Nearby were basketball courts, tennis and pickleball courts, a skateboard course, and bike rental stands. The temperate California climate and active lifestyle are the perfect combination for outdoor activity, and Venice Beach is no exception. The colorful Boardwalk shops cried out to me with their showy souvenir displays ranging from the tradi-
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tional to the outrageous. Alongside the touristy t-shirt shops were high-end leather goods and fine jewelry stores. The most intriguing storefront was The Green Doctors, offering “medical marijuana evaluations” for $40. The “doctors” were out on the sidewalk busking for business in bright green scrubs. If you walked a little further, you could get your fortune told, tarot cards read, and astrology chart plotted. You could have your name tattooed on your arm, airbrushed on a shirt, or written on a grain of rice, all while listening to diverse local street musicians serenade you. While strolling along the Venice Beach Boardwalk, you could literally eat yourself around the world. There were gyros, churros, wontons, sushi, curry, and hotdogs. It was a fried food heaven with fried Oreos, fish nuggets, French fries, and corndogs. Want healthier choices? There were fresh pressed organic juices, fresh caught organic fish or fresh steeped organic green tea, fresh picked organic fruit, and of course, when all else seemed exhausted, there was a creative cocktail offering almost every ten feet. The place exudes the feeling that happy hour is every hour. But, once I took an easterly turn and left the beach area, another persona of Venice Beach emerged as a sleepy little residential beach town. I walked to the Venice Canal Historic District, which is on the U.S. National Registry of Historic Places. It is here that real estate developer Albert Kinney built the canals in 1905 to create his plan for a “Venice of the West.” The canals encompass just a few square blocks and are truly beautiful with wooden bridges and sidewalks lining them. The homes along the canals are an eclectic collection of real estate, ranging from tiny vintage
IF YOU GO: • Hotel Erwin, hotelerwin.com • The Sidewalk Café, TheSidewalkCafe.com • Muscle Beach, musclebeach.net • The Green Doctors, marijuanadoctors.com • Happy Socks, happysocks.com
• Blue Star Donuts and Coffee, bluestardonuts.com • Salt and Straw Ice Cream Shop, saltandstraw.com • Eggslut, eggslut.com • High Rooftop Lounge, highvenice.com
cottages to modern multi-million-dollar, multi-level abodes. Curious about Albert Kinney, I headed to Albert Kinney Blvd., the mecca of upscale dining and shopping in Venice Beach. This busy street is lined with interesting and varied boutiques selling antiques, designer clothing, consignment wares, fine arts and crafts and one-of-a-kind items for the home. One of my favorite little shops was the Happy Socks store filled with the most diverse and colorful collection of high-quality socks made in Sweden. After much deliberation, I decided on a pair covered in hot air balloons as my perfect souvenir! Amidst the shops on Albert Kinney Blvd. are a variety of unique bars and eateries offering delicious treats. I sampled a blueberry bourbon basil donut at Blue Star Donuts and Coffee. Made from a classic French recipe, the donut dough takes 18 hours to prepare and is made by hand daily. These are truly “donuts for grownups.” What better way to follow a gourmet donut than with a scoop of sea salt with caramel ribbons gourmet ice cream at the popular Straw and Salt Ice Cream Shop? This charming ice cream store uses all local organic ingredients to make their unique small batch varieties. While walking back to my hotel, Eggslut caught my attention as I needed a little protein. This eggs-only cafe makes eggs appetizing all day, every day. They offer cage-free organic egg sandwiches on homemade brioche rolls and ample glasses of fresh-squeezed California orange juice. As the afternoon waned, I knew I did not want to miss the sunset. Sunset is an event in Venice Beach.
People line the boardwalk and sit on the sand daily to watch the free show as Mother Nature paints the sky with light and color. I opted to watch the sunset from the posh High Rooftop Lounge. This beautiful cocktail lounge on the roof of the Hotel Erwin was packed with people on comfy pillowed sofas. There are multiple space heaters and cozy blankets upon request. There is NO getting cold while watching the sun go down at High, and the view is spectacular! Be sure to make a reservation so you’re not disappointed, as the bar has a strict occupancy limit. With Los Angeles and its twinkling lights to the east and the Pacific Ocean and the sinking sun to the west, I was surrounded in sensory delight. I slowly sipped my expensive glass of wine and savored every moment. As my day came to an end, I tried to think of how I would describe my travel experience in Venice Beach. But truly, my day in Venice Beach cannot be labeled, for it was not a stereotypical “beach” day in any sense of the word. On the contrary, its diversity and energy so pleasantly surprised me. There is no doubt in my mind that the “multiple personalities” of this charming beach town will embrace everyone who visits… they certainly did me. n Kim Adley is the owner and tour designer of Passport to Pittsburgh, LLC, a custom tour design company for Pittsburgh and beyond (www.passporttopittsburgh.com). She is also the 22-year sole proprietor of Characters By Kim, a professional storytelling business in western Pennsylvania (www.charactersbykim.com).
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RESTAURANT REVIEW
MONTEREY BAY FISH GROTTO • PITTSBURGH, PA By Jen Forsyth • Photos Monterey Bay Fish Grotto Exquisite Views, Service, and Food Combine for a Perfect Night at Monterey Bay A night out at Monterey Bay Fish Grotto (Pittsburgh, Pa.) can be summed up as “stunning.” From the panoramic view to the fantastic menu offerings, there is good reason why this award-winning restaurant is such a popular hotspot. The service is firstclass, perfect for a date night or a night out with friends. The experience begins with friendly and reasonably priced valet parking—your best bet, as parking on Mount Washington can get tricky. In the lobby, an elevator takes you upstairs to the elegant main dining room. My party was waiting in the bar area, which has a panoramic view of the stunning Pittsburgh skyline. The vibe is laid back, with patrons snapping pictures in front of the city backdrop. The bar service was friendly and fast, and the drinks were absolutely perfect. In fact, I don’t think I have ever been in a bar where the staff has been so attentive. Our party was seated quickly, and the table in the dining room again featured the view of Pittsburgh. Our wait staff knew the menu inside and out, and our server encouraged us to ask questions about the menu to really get to know Monterey Bay. He also added fun facts as he went over the menus, such as how Monterey Bay serves 12 different fish from all over the world. We started with a sample of ahi tuna with microgreens, chili oil, and pickled vegetables. I’m not much of
a tuna eater, but I loved it! The pickled vegetables had an amazing flavor and were paired perfectly with the tuna, which had a spicy kick. Eating both together presented the ultimate flavor. Overall, absolutely excellent. From the exclusive cocktails menu, we ordered the Arctic Kiss—Absolut Pear, champagne, and elderflower. It was fun but not too sweet. Next our Combo Platter appetizer came, featuring Monterey Bay’s famous crab cakes, Cajun shrimp, and an Ichiban skewer, which consists of marinated salmon, tuna, and swordfish chunks. The winner of the trio was definitely the Cajun shrimp. The crab cakes were okay, and the Ichiban skewers were good. However we were unable to tell the different fish apart by taste. After the appetizers, soups, salads, and dinners, began to roll out. One of the highlights was definitely the lobster bisque presentation. Our waiter placed the bowl with the lobster pieces and cream in front of me and then poured the bisque in on top. It was delightful. Another highlight was the Champagne Braised Cabbage. It’s a simple enough concept: cabbage soaked in champagne. It was absolutely delicious, and we finished every bite. For dinner, jumbo shrimp, jumbo sea scallops, and Chilean sea bass graced our table. Guests in my party described their dinners as “excellent,” “perfect,” and “amazing.” Truly, Monterey Bay has perfected the art of making seafood. Finally, we ordered desert: the Chocolate Truffle Cheesecake and Monterey Bay’s signature dessert, the Angel Food Grilled Cheese Sandwich, which is caramelized angel food cake, cream cheese filling, seasonal berries, vanilla ice cream, and almonds. It was a perfect end to a perfect evening. The desserts were just as heavenly as all the food that came before it. If you are looking for a perfect night out with stunning views, perfect service, and food that is out of this world, visit Monterey Bay Fish Grotto. It lived up to all expectations and so much more.
Location: Mt. Washington, Pittsburgh, Pa. Price Range: $31 to $50 Attire: Dressy 62
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BRIDAL IN THIS SECTION: Queen for a Day,
Angie Candell Brandon....................................... 64
2017 Wedding Trends,
Teri Lynn Woodruff............................................. 74
Creating a Recipe for Success: Delicious Cakes Safe for Delicate Palates,
Jen Forsyth........................................................ 76
“Weddings are important because they celebrate life and possibility.” —Anne Hathaway
Photography by Angie Candell Brandon
My Dearest, On this, our wedding day, I feel pure bliss and nervous anticipation of our lifetime together. Nary a detail was left out from our special day. We will fondly recall this moment when we pledged our love throughout our lives. As Balzac said,“ L’amour est la poésie des sens.” “Love is the poetry of the senses.” I am intoxicated by the poem of our love. I shalt not swoon when your lips seal our vows with a kiss; yet, my heart will be forever altered as we become one. With love, Your Bride 64
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Rococo gown by Romantic Threads. LIVES 66 INSPIRING
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Bridal cuff by Chloe Noel Designs. 67 INSPIRING LIVES
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Invitation is by Pineapple Street Designs.
Cuff by Cosmik Souls.
Caption
Nizhoni Bakery created the delectable desserts.
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Earrings & necklace by Cosmik Souls. Hair by La Pomponnee Beauty Artisans. Makeup by Pure Beauty Makeup Artistry. Modeled by Madison Avenue Campbell.
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• HAPPILY EVER AFTER•
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2017 WEDDING TRENDS By Teri Lynn Woodruff, Creative Transformations
The new year brings new ideas for all things wedding, from invitations to flowers, cocktails to cake, and more! Vintage glamour with modern twists and rustic nature-inspired settings are still holding on. Brides are embracing neutral colors and metallic accents to compliment this year’s Pantone Color of the Year—Greenery! For stationery, mixed patterns, textured papers, and modern calligraphy are high on the list. 1. GOWN
5. HEADPIECES
2. CENTERPIECE
6. STATIONERY
“Janet” by Watters, photo by Black Dog Photo Co. By The Red Twig, photo by Black Dog Photo Co.
3. CAKE
By Main Street Cupcakes, photo by Black Dog Photo Co.
4. SHOES
“Kiara” by Badgley Mischka, photo by Cristin Stewart
1.
By Untamed Petals, photo by Amanda Judge By Lovely Somethings, photo by Black Dog Photo Co.
7. JEWELRY
By Haute Bride, photo by Stephanie Leigh
8. RECEPTION TABLE
By Creative Transformations, photo by Julie Irvin
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5. 6. 8.
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Photo: Cathy Burnheimer
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CREATING a RECIPE for SUCCESS Delicious Cakes Safe for Delicate Palates By Jen Forsyth
I
n April of 2006, Cathy and her husband Benjamin were travelling with their then-infant daughter Madalyn when something went terribly wrong. “We were in Columbus, Ohio, on vacation. We were driving to my husband’s cousin’s house when Madalyn started projectile vomiting. I never had seen that before! She had a lot of skin issues as an infant. She had horrible eczema. When she started projectile vomiting, we took her to the hospital. They kept her for a couple hours, but they weren’t sure what was wrong, so they sent us home.” “So we went back to my husband’s cousin’s house and spent the night. The next day, I gave Madalyn some Gerber puffs at their condo, and then we went out to eat. When we got to the restaurant, my husband said, ‘Madalyn doesn’t look right.’ I looked at her, and, her face was getting bigger and bigger and swelling shut.” Not knowing where the nearest hospital was, the Burnheimers raced to the closest pharmacy and purchased Benadryl, which thankfully saved Madalyn. Upon returning home to Pittsburgh, Pa., Madalyn was taken to UPMC Children’s Hospital, where she was officially diagnosed with allergies to wheat, eggs, and peanuts. A few months later, Madalyn turned one year old. Burnheimer wanted to make the occasion special, considering what the family had been through, and also make sure her daughter had a
big cake to celebrate with, but she didn’t know how. “This was the first time I had ever not worked since I was 15, and my husband worked long hours, so I had a lot of time on my hands,” the former sales rep explained. “That was when Ace of Cakes, Duff Goldman, was really popular. I would just watch it. I was so intrigued that you could do that. It was art, but with food. Both of my grandmas were very artistic. I learned in my 30s I am artistic. I just had to find my medium.” Burnheimer’s medium was confections. In the months leading up to her daughter’s birthday, she played around with fondant, and she made Madalyn a cake that was safe for her to eat. So how do you make a delicious cake without any wheat or eggs that isn’t contaminated by peanut products? Burnheimer says it’s all about finding the right ingredients. For example, rice-based flour can be used instead of regular flour, and an egg substitute can be used in place of eggs. Over the past year, Burnheimer has even expanded to offer chocolate peanut-free and dairy-free cakes. “I’ve been in business for eight years, but I’ve been playing with cake for eleven,” she explains. And she has definitely hit the sweet spot between scrumptious and allergen-free delights. While Burnheimer’s business has expanded drastically, she likes to remind people of the reason she got into business in the first place.
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Photo: Weddings by Alisa
Photo: Dean McAfee
“One in 20 children under the age of five now has food allergies. Wheat, eggs, and peanuts are among the eight most common, so what I offer covers a lot of bases for a lot of people. I think one of the hardest things for me is when someone requests something that I can’t avoid. I can’t avoid soy. I just can’t. As a parent of a child with life-threatening food allergies, I know the day-today struggle is real, and when you can find something that’s extra special for your child, that’s huge.” Since 2008, Madalyn has been joined in the Burnheimer family by two younger sisters, Leah and Mya, neither of whom have life-threatening allergies. Another aspect of Frosted Envy is giving back. The struggles the Burnheimer family continues to endure are fresh in Cathy’s mind. They aren’t able to eat at a restaurant or travel like an average family. Their choices are extremely limited and any decisions take extensive research and planning. Having anyone else cook is a risk because touching one wrong ingredient without washing hands could be lethal to Madalyn. The family specifically moved into Avonworth School District north of Pittsburgh for the accommodations and assistance they were able to provide to keep Madalyn safe. Burnheimer is aware that her family has been fortunate, and in turn, she makes sure she gives to others. “It’s made me a much more compassionate person. I volunteer so much more. I donate a lot of stuff from the bakery. I take cupcakes down to Light of Life, I donate a lot of gift certificates to charity events. I try to donate at least five cakes every year to charity events, which is actually very cool because I’ve met a lot of celebrities. And
in my personal life, I went into WalMart and paid on someone’s layaway. I try to adopt a family each Christmas and buy their Christmas gifts for them.” She also volunteers for an organization called Icing Smiles, which allows her to make cakes for children who are severely or even terminally ill, as well as their siblings. She is very proud of her work with the charity and is happy to donate her time to such a worthy cause. “You get attached to these families,” Burnheimer explained tearfully. (One of the children she helped had passed away from brain cancer the day before this interview.) Frosted Envy itself has gone from a business of simple cakes and fondant to lifelike masterpieces. No matter the circumstances, Burnheimer chooses to stay humble and positive. “You need to have a lot of gratitude. No matter how bad your life situation is, it’s still important to give thanks because when you put out positive energy, more positive energy comes back to you. If you put out negative energy, negative is going to come to you. One of the big things I always try to tell people is to focus on the positive and be thankful for what’s going right. Once you’re thankful for what’s going right, more right will come.” “So many people out there want to tell you what you can’t do, and you just have to say, even if you say it to yourself, ‘Their opinions don’t matter!’ You need to follow your dreams. You get one chance at life. This is it. So you can either sit on the sidelines, twiddle your thumbs, and think of all the things you wish you’d done, or take a risk. If you don’t do it, there’s a 100% chance that it’s not going to happen.” n
318 Forest Grove Road Coraopolis, PA 15108
oliviasbanquet.com
412.331.9282
Fabulous Reasons Why You Should Hire a Wedding and Event Concierge Planner By Tonya Edinger
Tonya Edinger was featured as one of Pittsburgh’s best wedding planners by Expertise in 2016, so we asked her why brides should use a wedding planner. Here are her top five reasons:
with a wedding planner. Certified wedding planners attend conferences and masterminds with experts to stay up-to-date, ensuring success!
2. Emotional and emergency circumstances are dealt with for you. You don’t need to worry about family opinions or issues that may arise. The right planner will negotiate and gently handle many circumstances. We are prepared with emergency backup plans that can be executed as needed. I always have an emergency kit with me, just in case. I WILL fix it. That’s my job.
5. You and your family should enjoy the day. Have you ever been at a wedding where the bride’s mother runs around frantically the whole night? The right wedding planner is organized and offers solutions so your mom can enjoy the day without distractions! I keep detailed notes about conversations with vendors, pay close attention to details, and have contracts on hand to reassure everything will get done according to our plan so your whole family can have a great time and enjoy spending the day with you, the happy bride!
1. The right planner can get you a better deal to meet your budgetary needs. Wedding planners have connections with the vendors. Certain vendors give clients special deals because they know that the wedding planer will keep bringing them business. Frequently, vendors will gift add-ons to you because of the relationships the planner has forged.
3. Experience and education are vital. Event planners, like me, have orchestrated hundreds of weddings and mastered the art. We strive to be better at every event. No one wants the same wedding as someone else, so your creativity to design your dream wedding is unlimited
4. You are passionate about your fiancé. The planner should be passionate about creating YOUR dream wedding. One of my favorite quotes is “Communication is key.” I plan exactly what you want for your event. I create a masterpiece from your vision. I will provide you with as much advice, pictures, and creativity as I can, but you have the final say in everything from flowers to cake and venue to dress.
You deserve the perfect wedding day. For a stress-free engagement, call Tonya Edinger, wedding and event concierge planner, at 724968-7135. weddingsofpittsburgh.com
FASHION & BEAUTY IN THIS SECTION: After Super Model and Super Mom, Kim Alexis Reinvents Herself Again,
Dr. Shellie Hipsky................................................ 85
Spring Trend Forecast,
Teri Lynn Woodruff............................................. 88
Kiya Tomlin: Designer Creates Sophisticated Uptown Style That Can Handle Whatever Your Day Brings
Jen Forsyth........................................................ 90
Just Jackie: All That Chic
Photo: Brian Hanna/Photos on Call Makeup: Heather Summerfield
Jackie Capatolla................................................ 95
“The great thing about fashion is that it always looks forward.” —Oscar de la Renta
“I am willing to try and explore while I learn and grow.”
After Super Model and Super Mom,
KIM ALEXIS Reinvents Herself Again By Dr. Shellie Hipsky • Photography by Angie Candell Brandon
“I
always had wet hair, I didn’t care how I looked, and I didn’t have a portfolio.” That doesn’t sound like a promising start to a long-term modeling career, but that’s exactly how Kim Alexis began. Before her first year of college, Alexis joined a modeling agency to help her earn money for school so her dad wouldn’t have to pay for everything. “People said I was pretty, and I should try to model.” But she didn’t think she would last long. “I kept thinking I was going to get kicked out because I was swimming 5 hours a day…All these girls were decked out, and I was a tomboy.” Then one night, she noticed a man staring at her during a class. She assumed she was done. “I thought I was going to get kicked out [of the agency] when he called me into his office. He said to me, ‘Do you want to go to New York and model?’ and I said, “No, I am going to be a pharmacist. So I said that over and over, but the talent scout wouldn’t stop asking. So I said, ‘Ok, take your stupid pictures.’ I literally said that,” she laughed. Alexis’s pictures were sent to New York, and John Casablancas, a modeling agent and scout, came to Buffalo for Discover a Model Day. “Those same girls who had intimidated me were parading in front of John trying to get his attention and meanwhile, me— the tall tomboy competitive swimmer—I was the one with the contract in her hand. All of a sudden I was going to New York.”
She was 18 years old. Two days after arriving in New York, she flew to Rome and then Paris to model for Harper’s Bazaar Italia, and four days later she shot her first cover, which was for the magazine. Since then, Alexis has traveled the world and shot over 500 magazine covers. An author as well, Alexis wrote books such as A Model for a Better Future, which is a memoir of her early days and then her life as a mother while modeling. As a working mom, Alexis raised five children in a blended marriage. She juggled running around for the kids’ extracurricular activities with speaking engagements and photo shoots. Alexis knows what it is like to be a mother trying to keep life in balance. Now, it is her time. Alexis experienced another new beginning after her children grew up and she got divorced. She moved from Colorado to the busy pace of New York with premieres, parties, and fashion buzzing around her. “By faith, I was ready to make any move in any direction needed and have that open mind to explore and learn. I peek around every corner to discover and think ‘Is this something new?’ I am meeting new people all the time. I am just at that point in my life where I can be anywhere or do anything that I want, and I know that I will have huge plans, but I don’t know what they are yet. The plans are not fully developed yet…I am willing to try and explore while I learn and grow.” One spontaneous thing she did was hopping a flight with a friend to Jerusalem. “I had been married for
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so long that I always had to run things by a husband, ‘What are your thoughts? Do you think I should? Is it fine if I go?’ I always used to ask questions. I always put my family first. So, to be able to do whatever I wanted, just for me, was still new. I am embracing it. I used to literally sit around the house and wait for everyone else and see what everyone else needed from me. If they didn’t need something, it was like ‘Now what should I do?’” Now Alexis is taking control of her life and doing what she wants most. Inspiring Lives Magazine was delighted that she came to Co-MC the Inspiring Lives Magazine Launch Party, and she even rocked the runway, doing her first model walk in years! She is connecting with new people in the industry and meeting up with old friends in New York such as Cuba Gooding, Jr., who she played ice hockey with in the Celebrity ALL STARS Hockey League. She has also reconnected with some of the other super models of her time, such as Carol Alt and Paulina Porizkova who were also discovered by talent scout John Casablancas. When Alexis attends fashion shows during New York Fashion Week, some of the designers and shows treat her like royalty. However, as she explained in her blog 86
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for 1010 Park Place, “Some of the new, young designers didn’t know who I was. I found myself standing in the back at one show where a mother turned around…and asked if I had a daughter in the show. My ego took a big hit on that one.” Alexis knows that being well-known today is a lot about “likes” on social media, but as a woman in her fifties, she feels silly taking selfies and would rather showcase what she loves in her life. So, her Instagram (The_KimAlexis) and Twitter (@TheKimAlexis) accounts feature images of her being an active athlete, being a mother, and attending charity events. They also go back in time to showcase magazine images from Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, and Sport Illustrated. Alexis believes we should all find our niche and be empowered. As she explained, “There may be a mom out there who is a size 14 who is spending her days taking care of her kids and doesn’t believe that she is good enough. But she is doing the right thing for her children. Women can’t sit around and have a pity party for themselves; they need to figure out their skill sets and what they bring to the table. We all are unique and have something special to give and feel good about. n
SPRING TREND FORECAST Styled by Teri Lynn Woodruff, Creative Transformations • Photos by Ryan Smas, B Squared Photo So what’s on the list of must-haves in beauty products and fashion accessories? Designers hit the runways with a wide spectrum of looks: everything from 1980s throwbacks to soft tales of romance to glittery party looks. Oversized accessory items and bold-colored clothing paired with clear skin, artistic eye makeup and striking lips. 1. AVEDA Tulasãra Wedding Masque Eye Overnight $55 (www.aveda.com) 2. SMASHBOX Always on liquid lipstick in Babe Alert $24 (www.sephora.com)
7. CHANEL NO. 5
L’eau eau de toilette spray $100 (www.sephora.com)
8. REDKEN
3. ANNA & AVA
Pillow Proof Blow Dry Two Day Extender dry shampoo $20 (www. ulta.com)
4. SAM EDELMAN
Cat-eye sunglasses in pink tortoiseshell $150 (www.sunglasshut.com)
5. TOO FACED
City Barlow Tote in taupe $348 (www.dooney.com)
6. BELLE BY BADGLEY MISCHKA
Jeweled chandelier statement earrings $24 (www.nordstromrack.com)
Gold Coin chandelier statement earrings $20 (www.dillards.com)
9. RALPH BY RALPH LAUREN
Yasmine buckled heel in dusty blue $130 (www.samedelman.com)
10. DOONEY & BURKE
Better than Sex mascara in black $23 (www.toofaced.com)
11. NATASHA
Rhinestone chandelier earrings $48 (www.dillards.com)
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KIYA TOMLIN
Designer Creates Sophisticated Uptown Style That Can Handle Whatever Your Day Brings by Jen Forsyth
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lege of Design, Art, and Architectural Planning. While she didn’t graduate, she was able to take the core classes she needed, tuition-free, for two years until the Tomlin family moved to Tampa, Fla., for Mike’s first NFL job. Kiya had looked into other schools, but since college was no longer free and the couple had recently had their first child, she decided to concentrate on Kiya Tomlin actual design. “So I just started making stuff,” Tomlin remembered. “I did baby stuff, and I just loved to do it, so I would do it for free. Probably after the third free wedding gown my husband was like ‘You will not do another free thing!’” Tomlin laughed. “So I was forced to start a business.” Tomlin started a business making wedding gowns in 2000. She kept that going for about two years, but the stress of designing wedding dresses was compounded after the arrival of the Tomlin’s second child. Not long after, the family moved to Minnesota for another NFL job, and their third child arrived. Then the Steelers’ head coaching job brought the Tomlins to Pittsburgh, Pa., a decade ago. Tomlin was busy for quite some time just being a mom to three young children, but as they grew older, she realized she wanted something for herself. “After we moved to Pittsburgh, I kind of put it aside for a little bit because I had three kids in a new city, and a new lifestyle with Mike being more in the public eye and, you know, tending to the kids. Then after my last one was getting ready for kindergarten, I started looking around like ‘What am I going to do with myself? You know, it’s time to start doing what I want to do.’” So she decided to get back into design “just lightly. It will give me something to do. Something to focus on, and then by the time the kids are grown and ready to go off to college, I’ll jump in full-time and full-force. I guess I was preparing for the empty nest. I had a lot of people around me at my husband’s job who were much older than us, empty nesters…The husbands work so much [coaching], Photo: Becky Thurner
K
iya Tomlin was born to be a designer. The New Jersey native has tried many different things, other things she felt at times she “should” be doing rather than something that she wanted, but ultimately, fate put her in the place that made her the happiest. The owner of Pittsburgh-based Uptown Sweats recounted the long road that brought her to owning her own fashion line and retail store. “I started sewing and designing when I was 11. Nobody else in my family sewed or designed or even cared about fashion, but I had this interest in it. So I got a sewing machine, and my mom dusted off her eighth grade home economics knowledge and taught me how to use it, and we did one project together: a little mallard [stuffed duck]. After that I was like, ‘I want to do a jumpsuit!’ So I’ve been making clothes ever since.” Tomlin quickly went from pattern books to forcing her own images together. She eventually attended design school at the University of Cincinnati’s College of Design, Architecture, Art, and Planning (Cincinnati, Oh.), but that was only after she got back on track from a detour in her design path. “I went to college on a pre-med scholarship to William and Mary (Williamsburg, Va.). So when I went to design school, that was my second round of school. I already had an undergraduate degree. When I got married right out of college, I decided not to go the med school route. I’m not really sure why. It didn’t fit into the life we were living at the time.” “So I still designed and did stuff on my own. When my aunt had breast cancer and lymphedema, her arms swelled really big. So I did a fashion show for patients with lymphedema, and I made stuff for them because they couldn’t buy.” “We were living in Arkansas at the time, and my husband [Pittsburgh Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin] was coaching at the University of Arkansas in this really little tiny town of Jonesboro, only 50,000 people. I was having a hard time fitting in and finding something to do.” It was then that Tomlin began researching design schools. When her husband was hired as a coach at the University of Cincinnati, she was able to attend their Col-
Uptown Sweats by Kiya Tomlin
Caption FASHION that [their wives go] from running an entire household like a single parent to having an empty household, and I saw a lot of women struggle with it. And I was like ‘I’m going to get myself squared away before that happens.’” The first season of Uptown Sweats was 2014 fall/winter. Tomlin started the business from home but quickly realized the conditions weren’t ideal for her. Tomlin said it was odd doing the business from home, working with clients, etc., when so many people knew who her husband was. It also was a distraction. As a working wife and mother, it’s too easy to want to load the dishwasher, clean, throw in a load of laundry, or do other housework instead of actual work. It was definitely time to move. Tomlin initially leased a room in an interior designer’s showroom. She worked from that space for about a year. She enjoyed being out of the house and soon felt confident enough to begin searching for her own space. An up-and-coming area in the East Liberty section of Pittsburgh ended up being perfect, but not for the reasons one would think. “I kind of casually started looking and stumbled upon this space,” Tomlin explained. “which I fell in love with because of the windows. The neighborhood was not developed yet. I didn’t even know there was a plan. Nothing had even started happening. This building was completely
vacant, but I just loved the windows, and I figured if I’m going to be somewhere all day, I want to be able to soak up the sun.” While boutiques had previously carried Tomlin’s creations, her store is now the only place you can find her designs, along with select trunk shows. Her lines are exactly what the name of her brand implies: they are clothes you can use for a meeting or occasion that requires you to dress up, but they can also be casual. Plus, they are machine washable. Tomlin realized the need after working from home for so long. “As much as I love fashion, I got tired of getting dressed. When I worked from home, I could just work in my pajamas all day if I wanted to. But now I had to get dressed and meet clients, and wearing professional clothes was not compatible with my lifestyle, with the type of manual labor that I do, plus running the kids and multitasking and my crazy busy day.” “So I’m like ‘you know what? I’m going to make a dress that works for me and that I can go to work in and be presentable, but I can still run the kids, I can still climb on top of the cutting tables. I can still do all this stuff, and at the end of the day I can just throw it in the washing machine and not worry about dry cleaning or if I spill something.’ So I designed what’s now called the Signature
Dress, which is the sweatshirt dress. It was really just for me, but when I would wear it, people would stop me left and right and ask where I got it. So I thought I would make some of these and just keep them in my studio for some custom clients if they want to buy them on the side. Also, when people would knock on the door just to see what I did, there was stuff they could buy.” Through making those dresses, Tomlin also learned the processes of pre-work and ready-to-wear. She learned about designing dresses and sending the design off to someone else to make multiple copies of it into actual clothing in different sizes. Now she has a storefront for her line where she can show customers how to mix and match pieces and, most importantly, where customers can give her direct feedback. Tomlin is also starting to have her pieces manufactured locally. “We started making last season’s line here ourselves. It’s always been in my plan to manufacture locally because I can be more hands-on. I can be more attentive to it, as well as eliminate a lot of the waste—whether it’s leftover waste or producing more than I need—because when you go to another factory, they have minimums. So you’re kind of stuck making X amount. Well when X amount doesn’t sell, I just don’t want to work that way. It’s very wasteful.
So it was always my intention to bring a factory here. Then I had some logistical issues with my mill in Los Angeles where they had a machine break, and I couldn’t get the fabric to the factory in time to get it out to some international orders for stores in Europe. We had to get those orders to Europe, so I just had the fabric sent here, and we leased a space and cranked those out.” As a result, Tomlin’s factory will be coming sooner rather than later. As for Tomlin’s upcoming spring line, she says to expect lighter fabrics. “For our spring line, we lighten the fabrics, to a super lightweight jersey modal. We kind of recreated some of our other styles in a lighter weight, and a little bit drapier. We’ve got a nice neutral, light color palate. To me it’s more…more uptown!” Tomlin exclaimed satisfactorily. It may have taken some time to get to the place she is now, but the forces of the universe knew where Tomlin belonged all along. She was meant to grace the fashion world with her incredible presence. What advice does she have for others who hope to follow their dreams? “Figure out what you love to do and find a way to make money doing it.” The more she sticks with it, the bigger she grows. Expect big things out of Kiya Tomlin and Uptown Sweats not only this coming season, but in the long-term future as well. n
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JUST JACKIE All That Chic By Jackie Capatolla
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ashion and beauty chic—the flower is in full bloom. The seeds we plant today will blossom tomorrow if you are ready to take the time and nurture them. Green grass, sunshine, and a little tender loving care. We can see this in all parts of our lives if we believe it. The future is bright and colorful. This season, for me, is all about the whimsical romantic. The chic woman who knows how to mix up her mood. The woman who knows if you dream it, you can accomplish it. For this look, I wanted to capture the flower blooming and coming into her own. Spring is a time to believe in tomorrow. If you continue to refresh and renew yourself, then tomorrow will be a bright light, a full bloom, and a time for you to hold your bouquet high. Nature is a beautiful thing—it renews itself and refreshes year after year. We can learn so much from Mother Nature. Let go of all your fears, all your worries, and let the sunshine warm your heart. Open your mind to change and growth. Blue skies, flip flops, birds singing—all signs of a beautiful brighter future. My model, Jenny Lou, is the vision of the whimsical romantic. She represents a bouquet of flowers and new beginnings. Spring 2017 is all about flowing florals, dewy skin, and romantic, chic hairstyles. Jenny Lou is wearing a color blocking floral dress. This style is flirty and sweet. Ruffle sleeves make a pretty fashion statement. A free-spirited sweet floral dress is lightweight and easy to wear with a beautiful color blocking print. Such a relaxed fit is perfect for your delicate spring fashions. Here are my favorite hair tips for spring…fun and chic. For Jenny Lou’s hairstyle, I wanted to incorporate the blocking technique to blend with the fashion. The fringe is directed forward with a braided bumper bang. The sides and back are
blocked into a chic pattern of texture and waves. Deep side parts will be on trend this spring. Spring makeup tips: Fresh dewy skin, naturally soft and feminine. Perfected skin with a touch of gold accents. Jenny Lou is also wearing rich red lips in Just Jackie Vamp. Healthier skin starts with a daily skin care routine. Cleanse, tone, and moisturize. Bronzers create a sun-kissed glow all year round. Remember to wear SPF in your moisturizer or foundation. Get glowing with a fresh dewy look. Dream big this spring. Plant those seeds so they bloom into beautiful blessings. Take care of them, nourish them, and watch them grow. Before you know it, your dreams will come true. Your flowers will turn into a beautiful bouquet of opportunities. So go ahead, get out there in the sunshine, breath in the fresh air, and take time to rejuvenate. Happy spring! Until next time, live your dreams. n Model: Jenny Lou; Photographer: Ray Feather @rfsphoto; Fashions by: Jennifer Betler Mendicino, Sottile Fashions @sottilefashions; Hair and makeup by: Jackie Capatolla, Jacqueline’s House of Beauty Salon and Spa. www.jacquelinessalonandspa.com SPRING 2017
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BEYOND BASIC VANITY: Renewing Self-Confidence by Enhancing Beauty By Jen Forsyth “So many women don’t realize how beautiful they are, especially when they have sparse or missing eyebrow hair or lashes,” Rachel Schinosi, president of Cosmetic Solutions, explained. “They feel self-conscious without their makeup, but permanent makeup gives them confidence.” Schinosi is a state-licensed medical esthetician who has been applying permanent makeup for 17 years. Cosmetic Solutions, a non-surgical aesthetic boutique, has served clients at its Canonsburg location for 12 years. Schinosi wanted to help people realize their natural beauty by perfecting their skin and enhancing their eyes, brows, and lips without surgery. “When the key features of the face are shaped the right way, they pop, and suddenly, you see how beautiful you are.” Recently, Cosmetic Solutions tattooed the breasts of a cancer patient who had a mastectomy. They also use permanent makeup to replace the lashes and brows of cancer patients who lose their hair to chemotherapy, and they can assist in the repair of some cleft lips and scars. One of the hallmarks of a successful business is the team you surround yourself with. “I look for people who are passionate, kind, and talented,” Schinosi said, “like my sister Heather [Hunter, cosmetic enhancement specialist] and Tammy [Gaydos, cosmetic en-
hancement specialist]. But I also look at how they make people feel.” Schinosi’s staff also includes skincare specialist Lori Sleva and office manager Renee Glover. Schinosi got her start where many young girls do: right in front of her own mirror. Typical teenage insecurities taught her to experiment with makeup and emphasize her best features. “I wanted other people to feel great, too, so I made a business out of it.” Schinosi is not only part of the industry. She is helping it become safer and better regulated, as well. “Anybody can train or be trained in cosmetic tattooing—what permanent makeup is. Fundamental training is only one week long and is often taught by inexperienced artists. So I’m starting a school here, where I can make sure people get the right information. The people I choose to work for my business must complete an apprenticeship after that one week of training.” Through Cosmetic Solutions, Schinosi wants the public to see that everyone can bring out their natural beauty. “Everyone has something beautiful!” n
STONEWATER SALON & SPA:
From dream to reality, young family run business is a success. By Jen Forsyth little things. For example, each customer is given a hot towel and shoulder/arm massage, no matter how big or small the service. Also, Alicia and Daryl only use AVEDA products, which they believe are the best for their clients. So what inspiring message can Alicia offer other aspiring entrepreneurs? “You can create the culture you want and still have a good heart. Try not to change or forget your original inspiration.” Alicia also said that “a positive, encouraging, loving family can remind you of who you really are and support you through the process and when things get rough.” At the age of 30, Alicia’s final piece of advice is to not be afraid of growing your family. “I am a mother of two and now realize being a mother in business is not only the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me, but my biggest challenge to date. Just like managing a business, you have to get your whole heart and soul into the adventure in front of you, and I am excited to find out what is yet to come.” Photo: Francine Smith/Timesmart Images
Alicia Nath, stylist and owner of Stonewater Salon & Spa in Pittsburgh, Pa’s south hills, knew early on that she wanted to own a salon. What got her started, kept her going, and still motivates her to this day? Family. Alicia started styling clients’ hair as a teenager, so during high school, her father encouraged her to try tech school, where she excelled. He also pushed her to complete her bachelor’s in business at Chatham University (Pittsburgh, Pa.). Daryl Nath, Alicia’s husband and co-owner and manager of Stonewater, felt her passion for starting her own business and immediately supported her dream. With the encouragement of their families, the young couple pursued their goal of opening a spa. In April 2011, Alicia and Daryl bought the property that would become Stonewater and started renovating the old stone house. They planned their August wedding during renovations and opened in September right after their honeymoon. They credit their faith in God, the constant support of their families, and everyone’s belief in Alicia’s vision for the confidence to open on time and their success that followed. The feeling of family now extends to their nineteen staff members. “We work with people we love,” Alicia says. “Our staff and clients are supportive of our vision. We don’t want to let them down; we do it for them.” Stonewater offers hair, massage, pedicures, manicures, facials, and more, but what makes the spa stand out? Alicia says it’s the
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