Inspiring Lives Magazine Issue 10 Fall 2018 by Inspiring Lives Magazine

ISSUE 10â&#x20AC;¢ FALL 2018

INSPIRATION IS JUST A STORY AWAY!

MEDIA MAVENS

Extraordinary Educators

Dr. Shellie Hipsky tess cacciatore jacquelyn aluotto annalynne mccord

HALLE BERRY

TALKS

DOMESTIC

VIOLENCE

learning to

EMBRACE CHANGE

finding the

heart

TUSCANY dealing with

BUSINESS BETRAYAL FALL 2018

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Empowering The World By Dr. Shellie Hipsky

COVER STORY

pg.

Media Mavens

COVER NOTES: Models: Tess Cacciatore, AnnaLynne McCord, Jacquelyn Aluotto, & Dr. Shellie Hipsky Photography: Kevin Sheffield Photography Hat Milner: Kelly Christy Hats Styled by: Carol Lynn Sweets, Sweets Vintage Clothing Creative Director: Dr. Shellie Hipsky Shoot Coordinator: Christine Furman HMUA: Cindy Zamora Location: Hollywood, CA

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CONTENTS|

LIVING Extraordinary Educators Christine Furman 23 Embrace Change Darieth Chisolm 26 Society Spotlight 28 13 Ways To Avoid Going Crazy Over The Holidays Tonya Edinger 36 Black Girls Do Bike Monica Garrison 38

CULTURE

Dr. Shellie Take The Plunge Cori Wamsley 40

Polygamy: We Are Not Victims Susanna Barlow 60

Inner Circle | Facing Her New Reality Kimberly Pennine 43

BOOK REVIEW: Drop The Ball: Achieving More By Doing Less Denise Galloni 65

Have You Been Betrayed In Business? Diane Lazarowicz 44 Alleviate The Fear: Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Put The Sparkle Back In Your Financial Health Jessica McCrory 47 Ask The Real Estate Expert Choosing A Real Estate Agent Jeannine Mullen 48

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BUSINESS

Dance Transforms Lives Talia Lewis 57

Building a Bridge To A Brighter Future For Homeless Children Cori Wamsley 67 MUSIC REVIEW: Meghan Kashat: Deep House With A Deep Message Jess Branas 69

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CONTENTS continued Shalieve In Yourself Rachael Rennebeck 70

SPECIAL SECTION:

THEATRE REVIEW: Dear Evan Hansen: An Intensely Relevanat And Deeply Personal Must-See Karen Captline 71

FOOD & TRAVEL Passport to Inspiration: Finding The “Heart” of Tuscany Kim Adley 73 RESTAURANT REVIEW: Eleven Christine Furman 79

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Halle Berry: Imagine A World Without Domestic Abuse Dr. Shellie Hipsky 87

FASHION & BEAUTY DESIGNER PROFILE: Ian Hargrove: Design for the Well-Rounded Modern Woman Cori Wamsley 93

Photo: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

HEALTH & WELLNESS Tear Off The Mask Of Perfection And Reveal Your True Beauty Pamela Power Scanlon, M.S 81 4 Steps To Lasting Confidence Nancy Mramor Kajuth Ph.D. 82 Teens & Suicide: A Message Of Hope Sarah Rashmee Souri 83

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Clothing that Brings a Modern Edge to Everyday Practicality for Kids Cori Wamsley 98 When Style Meets Charity Cori Wamsley 102 What’s In Your Bag: Are You Ready for Fall? Teri Lynn Woodruff 103 In The Zone with Emilio Cornacchione & Gino Chiodo 105

EDITOR’S NOTE

“

Photo: Ray Feather

a letter from the editor-in-chief

Inspiration is just a story away… “I am damaged.” Tears welled up in her beautiful eyes as she rubbed her pregnant belly and watched her toddler race around the room. At this Inspiring Lives International makeover day at the homeless transitional shelter for mothers nearly a decade ago, my team made over the women, and Treasure House Fashions supplied their outfits and accessories. These beautiful souls were pampered and finally got to see themselves as worthy and pretty, many for the first time. My university students played with their children with new, donated toys and got them ready for a family photograph.

The woman told me her story of feeling broken by the man who had stalked her family. She told me the story of domestic violence and fear, which led her across state lines without any money or self-confidence. I showed her a picture from another family photoshoot we had done that day, and she was blown away. She saw a visual of what she could and would become. It gave her hope. Once she saw who she was beyond the pain, she could break through the negative script in her head, planted there by her sociopath expartner. She was and is worthy. She went on to get a job in management, move her children into a nice apartment, and live her best life without the toxicity of a troubled relationship. This story echoed through my mind as I worked on this powerful issue. Our Inspiring Lives Magazine readers look forward to reading the stories of others who have conquered obstacles and now help others. This issue features

Media Mavens making a profound impact together on women. Tess Cacciatore and Jacquelyn Aluotto are directing and producing some of the most powerful documentaries and talk shows to tell women’s stories from homelessness to domestic violence. AnnaLynne McCord uses her position as a television actress and as the president of Together1heart, which fights against human trafficking. Oscar Award winner Halle Berry invited Inspiring Lives Magazine to her Hollywood event to support the Jenesse Center, which helps domestic violence survivors. From survivors of forced polygamy supporting each other, to an article on why I took the plunge into inspiring lives, we hope the stories inside this issue will be eye-opening and show you that you are not damaged. You are worthy, beautiful, and capable of manifesting your own inspiring story through your life journey! Hugs,

Dr. Shellie Hipsky

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Dr. Shellie Hipsky

CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER Kelly Frost CHIEF MARKETING OFFICER Adriane Diethorn

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kelli Koladish DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY Mary Beth Kratsas

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Cori Wamsley

TRAVEL EDITOR Kim Adley

SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATORS Dominique Murray Paige Larson

LEAD STYLISTS Carol Lynn Sweets Teri Woodruff

CELEBRITY RELATION LIASON Brianne Mitchell TALENT MANAGEMENT Keely Cat Wells EVENTS COORDINATOR Tonya Edinger ADVERTISING EXECUTIVES Rachel Dayoub Bruce Cowart Ranella Ferrer

Advertising@InspiringLivesMagazine.com 412.913.1494 Published by INSPIRING LIVES INTERNATIONAL Reprints and back issues available on request.

InspiringLivesMagazine.com Copyright Â© 2018 Inspiring Lives, LLC, Inspiring Lives International Publishing, Inc. P.O. Box 513, South Park, PA 15129, USA All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this magazine may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or books. Although every effort has been made to ensure that the information in this magazine is correct at the time of going to press, the authors have written from their own view point and therefore all information is personal opinion. The information is not shared in a professional capacity and does not constitute as professional advice for your own situation. Please consult an expert if that is what you require. The authors and publisher assume no liability to any party as a result of the contents of this magazine. 10

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featured

CONTRIBUTORS KIM ADLEY Kim Adley is the owner and custom tour designer of Passport to Pittsburgh, LLC, a custom tour design company for Pittsburgh and beyond. passporttopittsburgh.com She is also the sole proprietor of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Characters by Kimâ&#x20AC;? a professional storytelling business in western Pennsylvania. charactersbykim.com.

SUSANNA BARLOW Susanna Barlow grew up in a polygamous family but now lives in a happy household with six children and one loving husband. She is a writer and teacher and recently wrote a memoir, to be published. susannabarlow.com

JESS BRANAS Jess Branas is a radio personality and dating coach on LesBe Real Radio Talk show and recently launched Branas Enterprises with branding and marketing strategies to help turn your dreams into reality!

DARIETH CHISOLM Darieth Chisolm is a visibility and multimedia strategist who coaches women to become confident and outrageously successful, conveying their brand, message, and mission to the world through various online media platforms. She is also a cyber harassment activist through her organization 50 Shades of Silence.

CHRISTINE FURMAN Christine Furman is a former teacher, a mother, and the founder and owner of Momspiration412, a Pittsburgh-based group that helps moms connect and network while their kids do fun educational activities. (momspiration412.com)

MONICA GARRISON Monica Garrison is the founder of Black Girls Do Bike (blackgirlsdobike.com) and a photographer (monicagodfrey.com).

TALIA LEWIS Talia Lewis is a choreographer, actress, dancer, and model in Cape Town, South Africa.

PAMELA POWER SCANLON One powerful way you can support yourself is to tune into what zaps your energy and what fuels it. Pamela Power Scanlon created a free download at pamelapowerscanlon.com/free-gift to help you learn how to transform your energy drains into energy gains!

SARAH RASHMEE SOURI Sarah Rashmee Souri, MSW, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist, writer and speaker in Pittsburgh, and she has a counseling private practice in Wexford, Pa. For more information, please visit sarahsouri.com

TERI WOODRUFF Teri Lynn Woodruff is a designer, stylist, and event planner at Creative Transformations.

A FULL LIST OF CONTRIBUTORS IS AVAILABLE ONLINE AT INSPIRINGLIVESMAGAZINE.COM

—Maya Angelou

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“

You Can’t Use Up Creativity. The More You Use, The More You Have”

Med Leading Lady Dr. Shellie Hipsky - The Global sisterhood and Inspiring Lives International producer tess cacciatore - Global Women's Empowerment Network director jacquelyn aluotto - Real Women Real Beauty and starring annalynne mccord - Together1Heart 14

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dia Mavens EMPOWERING THE WORLD Interviews by Dr. Shellie Hipsky

Media is a powerful tool. It has long been believed that whoever controls the media controls the mind. And we can use it to draw attention to issues that are often ignored. Women know what it’s like to fIght to be heard, from suffrage to equal pay and beyond. That’s why we are perfect to bring issues like sexual traffifIcking and domestic violence to the forefront, especially because we are often the most hurt by this type of violence. Here, we feature four powerhouse women whose media platforms and nonproffiits spotlight women’s issues and the women who have risen above them.

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Tess CACCIATORE

Tess Cacciatore is the CEO and founder of Global Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Empowerment Network (GWEN), whose mission is to transform lives through the power of storytelling. GWEN provides a safe place for people to share their storIes, through live-stream events, online-curriculum, and in-person workshops, GWEN welcomes people from all cultures and all ages to reveal their story so healing can begin. #Reveal2Heal

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Dr. Shellie: Could you tell us how you came to be the leader of the Global Women’s Empowerment Network? Tess: The journey to becoming the founder and CEO of GWEN has been a long, amazing, rocky road. We believe that “We all have a story to share and every story has value.” Our mission is to transform lives with the power of storytelling. It is time for all of us to come together and reveal our stories and transform our own lives. In 2010, a man I met through social media hired me to film his story in the Democratic Republic of Congo, as he wanted to run for president of the Congo. I went to several countries in Africa filming his press conferences and his life story. Eventually, I went into the Congo alone because he wasn't allowed to go there due to the risk of assassination. People are continuously being brutally murdered if they side against the president or the government and even innocent women and children are raped due to conflicts over columbite-tantalites, or coltan minerals, in Eastern Congo. I was, and still am, so passionate about the women and children that I was not focused on what danger I was in. I had several close calls in the Congo. When I left there, I promised myself and the Congolese women that I was not going to let this story die. The Congo is so very near and dear to my heart! As is all of Africa. GWEN also has a film division. We partnered on The Road to Redemption, which stars Akon (singer, activist, actor) and Viva Bianca (Australian-born actress), Brenda Strong, Margaret Avery, Monique Green, and others. Viva plays an American doctor who goes to Nigeria to work in a village as a medical volunteer. She comes across young girls in the village who are being forced into child marriages. With child marriage comes early pregnancy, which leads to maternal health issues, which is one of the United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goals. With the United Nations, we are supporting and bringing awareness to these girls, who often develop a condition called “fistula” [a hole between the vagina and rectum or bladder], which can be fixed with a $100 surgery. So at the end of the movie, we ask people to donate $10 through the “10 by 10 Campaign,” which shows that for every 10 people that donate $10, a woman or a young girl’s life can be saved through the surgery. When a woman has a fistula, she usually gets thrown out of the village—if she survives childbirth—and her children are left behind to be raised by other women. Girls’ lives are being saved this way because they can be brought back home to their village. Movies and documentaries like this bring awareness and education. Our films bring social impact and awareness around topics that are important to us that we need to do something about. Dr. Shellie: Talk to me about GWEN as a media platform and as a movement. Tess: I actually tell this story a lot because it inspires people to never give up on their dreams or their vision. Back in 1995 I wrote a 75page business plan about having an Internet Protocol TV (IPTV) network where we could have our own individual films, TV series, music, and books using the power of media and technology. I was in the technology arena from 1993 on, so I got to see what was coming down the pipeline. I was so excited about the possibility of

technology that I didn't realize it would be years before it was ready. As technology grew and my relationships with people from around the world grew, we got the funding for a partnership to do our TV series and our films. I realized that now is the time for GWEN! This fall, GWEN Studios will launch on a streaming, multimedia platform, where we are going to launch feature films, documentaries, short films, children’s programming, and our original TV series. We will provide distribution on a platform that's going to reach 250 million households, through Apple TV, Roku, Amazon Fire, Samsung TV and many other streaming devices through our partnership with Xperience-On-Demand (XOD). I'm so thrilled to see GWEN come to life. And, we are launching a grassroots movement where women can gather in their homes and communities to share their stories, heal from their past, and come together to make a difference in their own communities. This GWEN@Home initiative begins in my home state of Iowa and will spread nationwide. First, we have to empower ourselves through self-love, self-reliance, self-empowerment. Then we can choose a cause that resonates with our purpose and passion. I have been working internationally for decades, as it is my dream to empower women all over the world. GWEN is powered by women and joined by men. We get to do this together. It is very important to include the men in our healing efforts. Dr. Shellie: How can women internationally become empowered? Tess: I have been traveling around the world working with women in a place of collaboration. These women can become empowered by taking our workshops, joining forces with local organizations doing great work, and taking steps to #Reveal2Heal. Also, by joining forces with amazing women who have a platform and combining efforts to make sure that change will take place. For example, one of our GWEN Gals is AnnaLynne McCord, who has taken up the cause of sexual trafficking, and for that, she will be awarded the GWEN Luminary Award in November at our GWEN fundraiser at the Leica Gallery in Beverly Hills. Another woman in our network, due to the Inspiring Lives connection and collaboration, is a producer out of Houston, Jacqueline Aluotto, who has done a lot for the homeless population and sex trafficking. And you, Dr. Shellie, my long-lost and recently found sister on the same path—you and I are joining forces to host the upcoming GWEN Talks series featuring Inspiring Lives and Sisterhood Circle segments so you can contribute your unique talk show style discussion around these vital topics. This ties us all together in such a magnificent way. We have to share our stories and see that we are worthy because sometimes we are programmed to believe that we are not worthy. This is the time to re-program our self-doubt messages and be ready to take on the world together in all positive ways. I am thrilled about our GWEN partnership with Inspiring Lives. Going forward we can do some amazing things to help transform lives. I am very excited about our present partnership and our future to empower women internationally together with the Global Women Empowerment Network. For more information, please visit GlobalWomensEmpowermentNetwork.org. FALL 2018

Jacquelyn ALUOTTO

Real Beauty Real Women Founder, Socially Conscious Fashionista, and creator of the groundbreaking documentary series NIMBY Experience and the Pucker Up For Change National Beauty lipstick conscious campaign, Jacquelyn Aluotto is bringing attention to social issues. She started her company and began fIfilming across America in shelters to feature domestic violence victims, which resulted in her award-winning documentary Not In My Back Yard. And that was just the beginning.

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Dr. Shellie: What is Real Beauty Real Women?

Dr. Shellie: What is a Socially Conscious Fashionista?

Jacquelyn: Real Beauty Real Women (RBRW) is a movement. It includes TV series, TV specials, digital websites, and so much more. RBRW is where beauty, glamour, and entertainment meet social responsibility. It’s a movement to change injustices in our backyard through innovation and impact colliding with media, entertainment, and activism. We are a hub of passionate innovators, influencers, activists, advocates, strategist, artists, and tech gurus that specialize in serving much-needed communities in crisis. We are a conscious community. We are an organization that understands the dynamics of transforming communities, families, individuals, and youth that have been affected by the “war on poverty” and how dangerous and unpredictable surroundings limit resources and perpetuate a cycle of violence, abuse, and homelessness. Our RBRW foundation and media/production company all help spread our message and change the narrative. RBRW and I create conscious TV content, documentary series, and beauty campaigns where the products give back and lead to sustainable programs. Our online store features conscious companies, brands, products, and social entrepreneurs. It is the RBRW philosophy. You can see our video on the RBRW home page.

Jacquelyn: I wanted to make activism sexy and giving back glamorous. I believe that giving back should be the most fashionable thing in the world. I studied what people in America love. We fuse beauty, glamor, and entertainment. RBRW was created for ladies who appreciate beauty and glamor but are also passionate about social responsibility and social impact. To be a SCF you must be bold, brave, and kind and be yourself. We are all leaders with our own talent and influence. Back in the day, people thought if you were an activist, you had to look frumpy or always be on the front lines. Not every activist or community leader activates the same way. We do it effectively for our movement or nonprofit. You will mostly find me on the front lines, fighting to change legislation and serving in a shelter, community center, church, or organization for at-risk communities. However, we are moms, entrepreneurs, and we are juggling everything. I am a woman. I love to look good and feel good. We still want to feel good, look good, and be socially conscious. When I began this mission, at that time no one was talking to actors who were viewed as both sexy and socially conscious. It's also social responsibility. I was told I crazy, that there was no way to merge beauty and fashion with sex trafficking, massive violence, cancer, or poverty. And knowing our vision and purpose, we started all the TV series and shows. We created this movement. We are so grateful to our financial impact partners, great media partners like Inspiring Lives Magazine, and non-profits like The Global Sisterhood who share our same message. We only partner with organizations and media outlets that have real substance. When Anika and I presented at the Global Gala and Mastermind, we witnessed the connections between like-minded women with powerful stories who support each other, and it was exactly what we love to see. Our SCFs are bold and brave and innovative, giving and generous, creative and loyal. That's how we make activism sexy and about giving back. And we embrace everyone. Our philosophy is that as long as you're making a difference, we want to know you! Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee is an SCF. On the floor, she carried the FOSTA/CESTA bill—to mitigate sex trafficking online—and fought for it. She presented the amendment that RBRW wrote about restitution for victims, which led to our amendment being added to the biggest sex trafficking bill in history. She met a lot of resistance, but she kept her word that she would fight for injustice and people with no voice. That is what SCFs do. You stand for others even when no one wants you to. You meet resistance and don’t give up. We have our style and set our own fashion trends and build our own lanes. We are smashing stereotypes and making it cool to be authentic. That is who we are. We always want to make an impact. I love that with this cover and feature articles, all of our missions are powerfully aligned to potentially break the exploitation of women and children through the power of charity and media.

Dr. Shellie: Take our Inspiring Lives Magazine readers back to when we first joined forces for media for social change. Jacquelyn: Years ago, I decided that I was going to make over a shelter and turn it into a TV show with a mission. With the NIMBY [Not in My Backyard] Project (vimeo.com/29116053), we made over a homeless shelter. Then I collected $20,000 dollars in quarters from managing a restaurant and tending bar to pay for film equipment and travel so I could create the documentary in homeless shelters. I got the NIMBY film screened and earned many awards and accolades. We got a standing ovation in Washington by over 63 delegates representing other countries’ solutions to end poverty. Ultimately, we did a NIMBY Public Service Announcement, and you came to help us spread the word. We had many activists and celebrities who are really passionate about breaking the cycle of violence, poverty, homelessness, and abuse. It was amazing. I now have a much better understanding of the war on poverty. Dr. Shellie: Tell Inspiring Lives Magazine about the RBRW Innovation, Impact, Media Center. Jacquelyn: The Innovation, Impact, Media Center is a dream I have always had. We have done workshops, camps, and events, but we wanted our own place so our clients in the shelter could come to us and learn about innovation, impact, and being a social entrepreneur. People need to find their magic and voice, and this is how we break the cycle of sex trafficking, trauma, abuse, exploitation, etc. Of course you need trauma therapy and a safe place, but you need tools, education, self-love, and self-worth, and you need to tap into your creative side and get that magic flowing again. We teach them about our lipstick campaign and products for a purpose. The Innovation Media Hub is shared with Social Graces Social Club (SGSC) and founder Anika Jackson Reddick. Anika is also the co-host for the RBRW show. RBRW and SGSC are community impact partners. Monreal & Co sponsor the RBRW workshops by sharing their space with Real Beauty Real Women. Erik Monreal also does the floral workshops to teach the women who are clients at Santa Maria Hostel event planning, production, and how to make beautiful center pieces. This is one of the women’s favorite workshops.

Dr. Shellie: Whoever controls the media controls the mind. That is why Hollywood needs women in media. Our storytelling is different. We see the world differently and we experience it differently. We must have our voice at the largest table that controls a narrative that the world sees and that many children are mimicking. For more information about Real Women Real Beauty and Socially Conscious Fashionistas, please visit rbrw.org. To learn more about the production company go to pickituppictures.com. FALL 2018

AnnaLynne MCCORD

Actress AnnaLynne McCord is known for her TV roles, but she also works with Together1heart, which supports children in Cambodia who have experienced violence. These children depend on her to help them heal so they can reach others in their community and teach them about thriving after such atrocities.

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Dr. Shellie: AnnaLynne, you are an amazing actress who had major TV roles such as on Nip/Tuck, American Heiress, and 90210. We connected through Tess Cacciatore because she is featuring you as a GWEN Luminary for the amazing work you do against human trafficking. Tell us about your humanitarian work. AnnaLynne: I've been supporting the fight to end slavery and human trafficking for the last nine years. I became the president of Together1heart in 2016. Our work is with a ground team in Cambodia, but we raise global awareness for this issue because it affects every country in the world. This program treats severe trauma and creates an opportunity for sustainable living after the survival of atrocities like human trafficking or sex trafficking. I always say I flew into Cambodia nine years ago thinking I would help some children. But they turned my world upside down. I thought I was going to rescue them. They saved me and taught me to love myself, how to forgive myself, how to accept my own trauma, how to realize that it doesn't define me, and that I can appreciate it for what it taught me. Dr. Shellie: That is so beautiful that you have gained so much. You said that you have been through some trauma. I know you went through a rape when you were younger, and I could identify with that because I was raped at 16 years old. Has going through your own trauma given you that will to help others? AnnaLynne: Absolutely. Sometimes in our need to save ourselves, we develop a rescuer complex. That can help you do good in the world, but you won't do as well as you can until you save yourself. And that's what I learned from the girls in Cambodia. They taught me everything. By helping someone else, you are opening the door to healing within yourself, your mind, your body, your soul, and that's what really came across. In hindsight, I went through a million different twists and turns before I got to that place. I was suicidal, and many young men and women are also suicidal after their trauma. So I always tell them, “Some little girl or little boy is going to go through something and they need you to be here. And at that moment when they need you, you have to have been strong for them so they know they can get through it, too.” It's amazing how effective that is. It is such a profound experience to sit in a room with 200 people and know that we're bonded through tragedy. It is the deepest bond you’ll ever feel, because I can look in someone’s eyes and I just know. And they know that they're okay when they’re with me. When we want to help someone out, it is an opportunity and an invitation to heal ourselves. I encourage that desire to help others because it will be the step that leads you to your own healing. I caution it, though, because you have to be aware of how addictive it can be. Dr. Shellie: Wow. I connect so much on such a deep level with what you are saying. I know you're an amazing artist. And you had to film a rape scene as an actress for 90210. What was it like to do that as a survivor in your real life? AnnaLynne: You would think that would be the worst thing ever, but this is the irony of trauma. I was in clinical denial. They asked me to come talk about something they wanted to do for the show. Of course, no one knew anything had happened to

me, right? So out of respect for me as a person and an actress they told me about the storyline and asked if I would feel comfortable. I said something like, “Oh this would be such a great platform to talk about this issue and to connect the dots between it and the charity I work with.” I had one scene where Jessica Stroup, who played the character Silver, told Naomi, my character, “You are in love with him. He didn't rape you,” because that was what the teacher who assaulted me in the television show told everyone. After we had almost finished filming, at the end during a peak emotion scene, I had an implicit memory trigger PTSD flashback. It was from ten months after my rape when one of my friends said, “You’re in love with him.” My rapist had told my friend group that I wasn’t hanging out with anybody anymore because I was in love with him. And all of a sudden I started hysterically screaming and crying. But they kept filming because they thought I was still doing the scene. Jessica, the other actress in the scene, said, “Thank you so much. That was amazing.” But, I knew it wasn’t for her. I lost conscious awareness, ran off set, and disappeared. My makeup artist came and found me. I was facing the wall in the corner of an industrial warehouse-like place, completely unaware of my surroundings. That’s how trauma works. We hold it in our bodies, and our bodies respond when they have the specific trigger memories. My body felt like I was reliving that moment so many years before. I hadn’t even acknowledged it had happened. And that's what people don't understand about this kind of trauma. This is how my brain coped. People don’t realize that you don’t choose to be in denial. Your brain does that, and you genuinely don't recall. I’m going through it again, presently. It can be a life-long process. Thankfully, this has led me to feel an immense amount of empathy for people who are in denial of trauma, myself included. I'm adamant about the way we talk to girls because we are the reason they apologize for their own rapes. We make them fear. That is a major problem in our society. We tell a little girl to go “put something else on” because if she is wearing that, it’s her fault. We don't teach boys not to rape. We teach little girls not to “get themselves” raped. I can't stand it, it pisses me off. Dr. Shellie: First of all, I agree with that completely! Inspiring Lives Magazine readers are predominantly women who are very empowered or are looking to be empowered. What would you tell them to do to take those next steps to be their best selves and rise above? AnnaLynne: To all women everywhere, first and foremost: be yourself. For me, that means be sexy! I love being sexy. I love dressing sexy. I love feeling sexy. I love dancing sexy. And I am constantly told, “You can't do that! You are a rape survivor. You are a role model. You are this. You are that.” Oh, absolutely not! Yes, I was raped. But, women should enjoy their sexuality and the sexual prowess of their feminine energy. It’s completely preposterous to me, and I encourage women to be your sexy beautiful I-amwoman-hear-me-roar self, however you show that in your world. Do you according to you. And that's it. Nothing else. Find out more about together1heart at together1heart.org or on Instagram and Twitter at @together1heart. FALL 2018

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xtraordinary ducators Written By: Christine Furman Photographer: Paul Falavolito

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Empowering Beautiful Mindsâ&#x20AC;? Fashion & Charity event was an excellent opportunity for different types of educators to showcase the importance of focusing on the inner beauty, too. Educators have a powerful role: providing knowledge to students in a variety of ways to ensure they capture the essence of the material. Teachers shape the minds and lives of those around them daily, and social media has even made it possible to do so in an instant with people around the world. I had the opportunity to connect with the panelists and discuss their passions, struggles, and success stories as educators whose hard work, dedication, and encouragement has had a lasting impact on many.

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connected learning models and shared learning experiences.” Dr. Jennifer Elliott is Providing the best learning an associate professor in environment for all and the School of Pharmacy incorporating various teaching at Duquesne University approaches that appeal to (Pittsburgh, Pa.). Her clinical a variety of learners are expertise and research interests important to Dr. Elliott. are in the areas of pediatric “It's the INNER beauty that pharmacotherapy and asthma. creates the change we need in She has also developed several this world.” school- and community-based programs to identify children MOLLY BRAVER with asthma and risk factors for uncontrolled asthma. Molly Braver has taught Dr. Elliott enjoys watching her history in some capacity in the students grow and witnessing Pittsburgh, Pa., area over the the “aha” moments. She is past 16 years. In addition to aware that technology and helping children learn past and access to the recent explosion present historical information, of information has become she has written curriculums, a struggle for modern day coordinated programs with educators. “The students are many organizations and often more technologically created an Alumni Speaker savvy than we are, so we have to Series. She founded Global educate them in a different way. Action Conference Day: a We have to teach them how school-wide day of service to find, evaluate, and apply the where students learn about information on their own. We modern issues and participate can support each other globally in outreach projects. by exploring the various Braver is confident she is making an impact when she witnesses inquisitive minds pondering events past and

DR. JENNIFER ELLIOTT also comes reward: collecting resources and materials is easier Dr. Shellie Hipsky has than ever. Now the key to inspired, educated, and supporting each other globally entertained students as a is sharing those resources and special education teacher, materials across classrooms and assistant principal, tenured platforms. And it is important professor (Robert Morris to help each student find a University, Moon, Pa.), keynote connection with the material. speaker, author of 11 books, “When I was a special TV and radio host, and editor- education teacher, one of in-chief of Inspiring Lives my students struggled with Magazine. As the president of reading. One day she and a the non-profit 501 (c)(3) The friend sang a song for me that Global Sisterhood, Dr. Shellie she had written herself. At guides and supports women that moment, I knew she had and girls internationally. the skills and knowledge to Educators face many struggles read. I taught her to read by today, such as funding, breaking down the lyrics of social media, bullying, and Spice Girls songs. She began plagiarism. But with the to read, perform, and even got struggle of technology, there into college.” It is important to focus on the beauty of the mind rather than always focusing on external beauty because the reality is, our external beauty won’t always be there. “There is more beauty in fine-tuning our brain and utilizing that to help others.”

DR. SHELLIE HIPSKY

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present and students engaged in meaningful discussions. As those discussions and projects unfold in the classroom, time to fit it all in seems to be the biggest struggle for modern day teachers. “Learning about positive changes being made by others around the world inspires students and can serve as models of behavior. The global community can support learning by promoting these motivational stories so others can benefit from their work and dedication.” Every student has their own learning style, and Braver has made understanding what works for her current students a priority. “Teachers cultivate character, and that is the ultimate goal of educators.”

YEEHA CHIU As a concert pianist, a Steinway Artist, Yeeha Chiu is in demand as a one-on-one teacher and coach, including masterclasses. A graduate of the Royal College of Music in London (U.K.) and the Juilliard School of Music (New York City, New York), she has taught at Juilliard and Duquesne University. She has appeared in solo and chamber music recitals in Asia, Australia, Europe and the United States, including a series of concerts in Taiwan sponsored by the United States Information Service. In reviewing her Asian tour, The Japan Times noted that "Her sincere and genuine musicianship made this a truly

memorable evening." Chiu has the pleasure and challenge of bringing out her students’ passion in their expression of music as she provides individual lessons. “Developing self-esteem and confidence is paramount in this way of learning and knowing oneself.” Sports, internet, social media, and video games are just a few distractions that prevent people from spending quality time and focus on their daily practice. “It is important that the family supports learning and practicing and instills discipline in their children. Adults need to do the same for themselves.” We can support education by providing better trained teachers with the respect they deserve and reward them for their dedication with a higher salary, “which may entice more

HAS THERE BEEN AN EXTRAORDINARY EDUCATOR IN YOUR LIFE? Inspiring Lives Magazine wants to hear about the educators and mentors that have changed your life. Nominate an educator that has had a major impact in your life and in their community by contacting info@inspiringlivesmagazine.com, and we may feature them in an upcoming issue. #ExtraordinaryEducators

#InspiringLivesMagazine #WeAreInspiringLives

motivated people to choose this profession.” Chiu sees the good in modern technology. “With the help of technology, we can bring the world together.” These wonderful ladies were just a few of the roleModels recognized. So many educators leave an everlasting impression on the lives that they touch. Whether teaching students how to read, play an instrument, or virtually see the world, they present the material in a way that is meaningful to their students, allowing them to impact beautiful minds. Our actions and words speak volumes about the person you are inside and out. Be the difference in the world and be a true roleModel, help support the younger generations to reach for their dreams and never give up, encourage each other with kind words and generous actions, and inspire others to do the same. Rochel Tombosky the founder of GIFT (Giving it Forward Together) chose the Extraordinary Educators who walked the runway for the fashion show. GIFT is a grassroots organization that creates purposeful programming, advocates for seniors, and combats ageism.

embrace change Written By: Darieth Chisolm

There is one guarantee you need no one to make you. Change is coming. It's inevitable, it's certain, it's consistent, and whether you want it or not, you will experience it.

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LIVING Change can bring a lot of wonderful, beautiful and terrific things in your life. We all know it can also trigger you and send you spiraling into desperation and despair. Change is like a coin. There are two sides, and depending on which side lands face up, your outcome could be drastically different. Sometimes we prepare to face change head-on and, like preparing for a wedding, we work to ensure every “T” is crossed, “I” is dotted, and nothing's left to chance. And then sometimes, change comes barreling into our lives from left field, drop-kicking our carefully laid plans, forcing us to question everything, leaving us further confused and dismayed. No one is immune, and no one gets to escape unaffected. Here's another constant. You can embrace change. When sudden, unwieldy, and frantic change starts to invade your world, you can face it head-on, conquer it, and use it as your greatest ally and gift. Imagine yourself going with the flow, letting go of the wheel, and letting change

lead the way. Choose to see change as a catalyst lighting the fuse that propels you into the next place that can be an entirely stunning new experience and way of being. Those new experiences could look like a new relationship, a new job, a new passion, a new purpose. Change could bring you the opportunity to create new spaces, a new place to live, a new hobby, a new appreciation for life, a new way of thinking, and a new opportunity. Because change is inevitable, you can stop trying to keep it at bay. You're off the hook. You can just go on the ride and know that this could be a new journey of selfdiscovery. The next time change takes you on a roller coaster ride or a path down some lonely, dark road, let these two statements be your navigational voice assistant: “Everything is temporary” and “This too shall pass.” You can also remember that you have already survived change, you got through change in the past, and you can get through this next battle with change, too.

Every time I feel the angst of what change does to me physically and emotionally, that tightening grip of confusion and sometimes hysteria in the pit of my belly and along my cringing jawline, I do three things. Try them for yourself. 1. Meditate, breathe deeply, relax, and allow yourself to think of something entirely different to focus on, anything that feels good and takes your mind off of what's worrying you. 2. Appreciate everything, even the smallest things, and begin flooding gratitude to everything in your life. 3. Choose to redefine yourself by asking, “Who do I need to become?” Allow your mind to come up with positive solutions to that question. These three small steps help me pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again, before the next set of changes comes barreling into my life.

HAIR: TREY BROWN, MAKEUP: BECCA CARL PHOTO: MATT SHUCK, ALL FOR HER EVENT, WASHINGTON PA, OCT 21, 2018

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SOCIETY

A QUARTERLY ROUND-UP OF INSPIRING SOCIETY EVENTS

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SPOTLIGHT Empowering Women in Business 2018 Photos By: Mary Beth Kratsas

At a ceremony held at The Foundry in Pittsburgh, Pa., on June 15, 2018, five women were honored with Empowering Women in Business Awards. After a welcome and keynote address by editor-in-chief Dr. Shellie Hipsky, honorees were interviewed about their desire to help women further their careers and assist the next generation to become leaders. The winners for this year are Erin Baker from PNC Bank, Lisa Freeman from RAMP Foundation and Freeman Realty, Linda Jo Thornberg from Pittsburgh Business Show & Higher Images, Leesa Kassler from Kassler Organization, and Dr. Sally Mounts from City Mission (Washington, Pa.). Part of the proceeds from the event were donated to The Global Sisterhood 501 (c)(3) charity, which helps women and children worldwide achieve their dreams through networking, education, and support. Inspiring Lives Magazine sponsored the event.

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An Enchanted Evening Photos By: Dominique Murray

On the night of May 24, 2018, at Heinz Hall, there was magic in the air. More than a dozen young girls filled a private reception room with laughter and excitement as they awaited Rodgers + Hammerstein’s Broadway production of Cinderella. The girls in attendance were invited by two family court judges from the Allegheny County Court of Common Pleas, Honorable Kim D. Eaton and Honorable Kim Berkeley Clark. Most of the girls were from Gwen’s Girls, a social service organization dedicated to empowering young women in the Pittsburgh, Pa., community. Some of them were from highrisk environments, in the foster care system, or assigned courtappointed guardians. The girls were treated to front row seats, thanks to the generosity of J. Andrew Wolfinger, first vice president of The Bishop Wealth Management Group, who donated the tickets. Wolfinger and Attorney Mary Adamczyk chaperoned the group. Following the show, the cast members who starred as Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother came out in full costume to have a personal meet-and-greet with the girls. The girls walked away from this event feeling inspired, understanding the most iconic line from the show, “Impossible things are happening every day.”

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Fashion for a Cause Photos By: Anthony Sobotka and Dominique Murray

On Sunday, June 10, 2018, the 3rd Annual Fashion for a Cause took place on the lovely outside patio of St. Clair Country Club in Upper St. Clair, Pa. The event was coordinated and led by Lisa Wagner Freeman, real estate agent and president of the REALTORS® Association of Metropolitan Pittsburgh’s RAMP Foundation (realtorspgh.com/Home/RAMPFoundation), a Pittsburgh-area nonprofit. Though the sky threatened rain, it held out for the over 250 guests as they mingled and shopped the vendor sales while awaiting the main event, the fashion show. Delightful art by David Connolly was available for purchase, along with skincare, jewelry, and clothing from the vendors. This year, 50 models (including Dana Quinn in a Beth Shari Hollywood Glam Design) took part in the show, ranging in age from 2 to 75 and including all sizes and shapes. Models were treated to hair and makeup by South Hills and North Hills Beauty Academy of Pittsburgh, Pa. The “Fashion Through the Decades” theme showcased changes in fashion, with vintage apparel by Pink Tulle Vintage, Modcloth, and The Clothes Horse, and current fashions from Vintage Valet and Wight Elephant. The beneficiary of the event, Emmaus Community of Pittsburgh, provides residential homes and care for adults with intellectual disabilities.

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The Jefferson Awards Photos By: Tricia Tish and Kurt Weber

Karen Scuilli, Founder of Face2Face Healing participated in The Jefferson Awards National Ceremony in Washington, D.C. on June 28, 2018. Scuilli was the Outstanding Volunteer and Media Partner Recipient from the Pittsburgh Post Gazette in Pittsburgh, Pa. Following treatment for salivary gland cancer, Scuilli experienced facial disfigurement and found there were no groups to turn to for comfort and support. Many individuals experience loneliness, isolation, rejection, or despair when living with a "changed" face or body. Scuilli set out to remedy that by founding Face2Face Healing, an organization dedicated to filling the gap where medicine ends and patients are left to emotionally cope with and adapt to the resulting disfigurement. Its mission is to connect individuals living with disfigurement, their caregivers, healthcare professionals, and educators to promote continued healing through outreach, interaction, activity, resources, advocacy, and education. Scuilliâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s goal is to empower disfigured individuals to rediscover their inner beauty, restore their "voice" and confidence, and educate the public.

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Summer Soiree Photos By: Bruce Heinsius

Inspiring Lives Magazine hosted a Summer Soirée in Marina del Rey, Calif., at the Mariners Yacht Club. The event featured mixing and mingling with empowered women who are inspiring lives through stories of overcoming adversity, selfishly helping others, and working to thrive in every aspect of their lives. “I loved meeting the women of the LA. area and chatting about how they inspire and help others,” Dr. Shellie Hipsky, editorin-chief of Inspiring Lives Magazine, said, “I loved meeting the women of the LA. area and chatting about how they inspire and help others. As a bonus, Ranella Ferrer’s song for the Global Sisterhood was beautiful.”All the proceeds from the event benefitted The Global Sisterhood non-profit 501(c)(3) to help women and children around the world through #PopUpGiving.

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52 Up Close: Lee Terbosic’s

Intimate Magical Evening

Written by: Dominique Murray Photos by: Wick Photography

Would you dare to dangle 90 feet in the air to recreate a stunt originally performed by Houdini? That is exactly what Lee Terbosic did as part of his career as a magician! At age 12, Terbosic began to perform magic after watching a cousin in New York. At 13, he began to perform at a local Pizza Hut. Now, Terbosic has performed for sports stars such as the Penguins hockey team and celebrities like Jack Black and Aaron Paul. Terbosic writes, produces, and performs 52 Up Close, a one man show presented at Hotel Monaco in downtown Pittsburgh, Pa. Each show accommodates exactly 52 guests, which allows each person to represent a card in the deck. The show was intimate, allowing for each trick to be seen up close and personal. Audience members volunteered and were chosen at random to participate in illusions, including transferring marker drawn X’s on Terbosic’s hands to audience member’s palms. Terbosic puts on an unforgettable and seemingly impossible performance that you will not be able to forget. For more information about Terbosic or to see an upcoming show visit: leeterbosic.com and 52upclose.com.

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PROFILE

Della, Brianne, & Lila Mitchell The award-winning Della and Lila Book Series, headed by Della Mitchell (age 9) and Lila Mitchell (age 7), and managed with the help of their mom, Brianne, has been internationally touted as a significant literary and educational contribution to the field of children's literature and in the arena of nonprofit leadership and service. Della and Lila head their own nonprofit and donate their book and merchandise sales to various philanthropic organizations with missions focused on providing resources to children and families. The Della and Lila Book Series has received several coveted service and literary awards and was recently featured by Sesame Workshop through their #SeeAmazing Kids social media campaign. To learn more about the Della and Lila Book Series, please visit www.dellaandlila.com.

Two little girls, changing the world, one act of kindness at a time.

DELLAANDLILA.COM

ways to avoid going

y z a r C

over the holidays

By Tonya Edinger Concierge Event Planner

Do the holidays stress you out? You do not have to be stressed or overwhelmed anymore. Make it look easy by following these tips! 1. Never do a major renovation prior to the holidays. I promise you it will be extremely stressful. In fact, save all renovations for January when you are making resolutions and trapped in the house. 2. Make a gift list right now of who you have to buy for. Buy a few presents each month and voila no large credit card bill in January! You are welcome! 3. Stock up. Start buying pretty plastic plates. You know: the white ones with the silver rim and those real looking silverware. When company comes you can be fancy with less mess! 4. Do not over-schedule yourself. When making plans, add on 30 extra minutes in between places, then when someone cuts you off, kids don’t want to get in the car, the OMG text comes (“Yes you were supposed to bring a dish”), etc., you will have it covered and still look great and unstressed! 5. Just say “NO!” Seriously, you do not have to say “yes” to every single invitation. You will get another one, I promise. This is a hard one, but, with practice, it is possible. 6. Plan for parking. When planning a party or event, especially at your house, preplan parking. Ask a neighbor, make room in your driveway, or ask people to carpool or Uber. 7. Play a game! The holidays are a time for all ages to come together. DO NOT let those little rascals get away to play on their devices. One of my favorite games is “wrapped ball.” Buy a bunch of small dollar amount gift cards, some candy, and little dollar tree trinkets, and wrap them up in plastic wrap. Wrap each item and then around a few time with the plastic wrap, inserting something here and something there. You now have a very large ball. Gather your guests, and take turns unwrapping this ball. To start the game, a player rolls two dice, trying to get doubles to have a chance at the ball. The person working on the ball must wear oven mitts while trying to unwrap it. When doubles are rolled again, the ball is passed to the next person.

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8. Do Christmas cards. Yes, I know they are antiquated, and you don’t have time (insert a few more excuses), but guess what. People love to get mail that is not a bill! You will put a smile on someone's face. Pick 10 people, and send them cards. You won’t regret it. 9. Spend time with family creating your own traditions. Yes, you have plenty of your family’s and your spouse’s families’ traditions, but do you have any of your own? Now is the time! My family likes our Thank You Book. It’s a big, pretty, leather, teal notebook we use to write something we have accomplished, something we are grateful for, and a big goal for next year. We each take a turn writing something, and at Thanksgiving we share it so we can cheer each other on. 10. Batch your cleaning. Batching is just doing all of the same task together instead of skipping around. It really is faster! Once a month I do windows, Monday bathrooms, Tuesday dust everywhere, Wednesday laundry. You get the idea. And if you have something come up unexpectedly, skip it, I give you permission. 11. Be prepared. A lot of guests are asked to take their shoes off when they arrive at someone’s house. I usually don’t wear socks, so I bring a pair of slippers to put on if I have to take off my shoes. Ah warm toasty piggies! When I am done, they go in a bag and back to the van for the next adventure. 12. Wrap gifts ahead of time. Do not wait until last minute on this. Trust me. I used to come home from a yearly party we have at my parents’ house on Christmas Eve and try to wrap all the gifts. No, no, no. My husband put a quick end to this nonsense, and he also offered to help. Yay! Ask for help. There is no shame in that, and best of all, you have a partner to help hold the tape and the paper while you wrestle it. 13. It’s ok if you don’t get everything done. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Look at all that you have accomplished. And guess what. This will happen again next year, but you will be even more prepared by then.

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DO BIKE black girls

Written By: Monica Garrison | Photograhy By: Monica Garrison

lack Girls Do Bike (BGDB) has taken up the challenge of growing and supporting a community of women and girls who cycle for function, fitness, freedom, and fun. We are engaging women who share a passion for cycling and are seeking the “bike curious.” As BGDB’s founder, I believe that the simple act of riding a bike can be the catalyst to wonderful and empowering experiences for women of all ages. In 2013, after a summer of re-discovering my love of cycling but noticing very few women of color riding in my town, I set out to find other women who love riding bikes. What started as a simple idea to connect lady cyclists online has turned into a movement with more than 80 inclusive riding groups all over the country and Antigua. “Black Girls Do Bike!” is an affirmation. And above all else, it is an effort to encourage self-care in a population that is often marginalized, while serving as the backbone to an entire community. The wave it has generated is creating lady leaders in the bicycling movement, introducing new riders to the joy of cycling, and filling a void in the larger cycling community. As the community began to grow, I found that many women of color around the county shared my feelings of not knowing where they belonged in the cycling community, and they also wanted

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to share their passion for cycling with their friends and family. I wanted to let them know that they weren’t alone. And I wanted to push for women to consider cycling as something else that helps them live richer lives. Despite stellar growth, BGDB is still very much a grassroots movement. Volunteers who take the lead in each city are called “Sheroes,” and members pay no dues to join. The rides are “no woman left behind” and provide a safe, non-competitive atmosphere for ladies to ride together, support one another and skill-share. Women of all races are encouraged to join the rides, but the focus is African American women because they are an under-represented demographic in the cycling community, and as a population, they have statistically higher rates of preventable diseases. Team BGDB members can be spotted leading their own rides and joining organized charity rides all over the country. While riding, they are often recognized by their colorful BGDB branded gear, overt camaraderie, and positive vibes. This year, our national meet up will be held in Washington, D.C. as we welcome lady cyclists from all over the world to three days of cycling-related activities. Find out more about BGDB and how you can support our work at blackgirlsdobike.com.

— Chris Grosser

BUSINESS

“

Opportunities don't happen. You create them.”

MAKING A SPLASH IN THE MEDIA WORLD WAS INEVITABLE FOR DR. SHELLIE HIPSKY, THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF OF INSPIRING LIVES MAGAZINE.

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DR. SHELLIE TAKES THE

Plunge Written By Cori Wamsley Photo & Artwork By Mary Beth Kratsas

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riginally a special education teacher and then a tenured professor teaching future teachers how to reach and empower their students, Dr. Shellie has always had a heart for helping others. During her time as a professor, Dr. Shellie started her radio show Empowering Women, as well as her TV show Inspiring Lives with Dr. Shellie to share stories of women who beat the odds and were now helping others achieve. On the heels of her best-selling trilogy Common Threads— three of her books of her eleven published works—though, Dr. Shellie took the plunge into fulfilling her own dream. “Inspiring and empowering women all over the world has always been a part of my soul,” Dr. Shellie said. “I support them in their business and philanthropic pursuits by sharing their stories, to bring attention to what they love.” So why not stop with the part-time radio and TV gigs? “I knew I had to go even bigger to help these women shine. The world is my classroom, so I needed a global approach. Nothing makes me happier than seeing women succeed. Plus, I wanted more time with my children and some flexibility to support their dreams.” So in the spring of 2016, she shed her professor robe and dove into her heart’s work, developing the foundation to launch Inspiring Lives Magazine that summer. Funny story: I got a call from Dr. Shellie in late June that year. She said she wanted to start a magazine and would like me to be her executive editor. After I practically screamed “YES!” I suggested we get together to talk after I got back from vacation. Dr. Shellie’s response? “I’d like to go to print in two weeks. Can I start forwarding articles to your email for you to edit when you get back?” It’s been a whirlwind of excitement, sisterhood, and inspiration ever since, for the magazine staff, our contributors, our interviewees, and everyone else whose lives we have touched in the past two years. Supporting and nurturing others. Feeding our souls, and leading with her heart. Inspiring women to make a change, take a chance, and step into the light. That’s Dr. Shellie’s purpose. And we will feel the effects rippling out from her high dive for decades to come.

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“Shellie is always a positive and supportive friend. She has helped me immensely by encouraging me to follow my heart and LIVE my dreams!” - Crystal Hayward “When she was my professor, Shellie was also a mentor because she’s an example of a confident woman who follows her passions.” - Dr. Monica Filippone, English Teacher “I first met Shellie when she interviewed me on her TV show Inspiring Lives with Dr. Shellie. Since then, we’ve partnered for Mommy Makeovers, personal shopper volunteering for agency clients, and The Global Sisterhood Mastermind. Shellie is a master at connecting women of like-mindedness and heart! She encourages all to stretch, grow, dream, and make dreams HAPPEN! I’ve watched her and cheered her growth, and she’s done the same for me! We’re part of the Global Sisterhood!” -Sally Power, Founder & Executive Director of Treasure House Fashions “I first met Shellie when she was my professor in the doctoral program at Robert Morris University. She was a great professor who encouraged her students to do their best. I’ve watched her transform her teaching from a classroom to across the world. I was very proud to serve on the board of directors for her non-profit The Global Sisterhood. She inspires everyone to follow their dreams, mentors so many, helps connect women across the globe, and encourages everyone to support one another. She is a remarkable, confident woman who is passionate about family, work, and giving back in so many ways.” - Dr. Michele Langbein, Associate Professor of Business at Point Park University & Founder of Leaders Empower Lives

BUSINESS

INNER CIRCLE:

Facing Her New Reality By Kimberly Pennine

Welcome to “Inner Circle” - a column based on empowered women in my inner circle who continue to inspire me and other women around them. My hope is that each of their stories will be equally inspiring to you! Ladies, not only are we living our best lives, but we are living longer than ever before. FACT: Women are four times more likely to outlive their spouses, and many women spend more than 15 years as widows. 1 Chances are, you or someone close to you, will experience this life-changing event. In 2015, my Aunt Deb was faced with this unexpected reality when her husband died suddenly of a brain aneurysm. In an instant, Aunt Deb’s life changed drastically; after 39 years of marriage, she was now on her own. At 58, how would she make it? How could I help her? Yes, I had a successful career and had been married, divorced and on my own for 12 years at the time, but this was different. So together, we set out to define her new reality. Today at 61, Aunt Deb is living her best life. She remains in her California home of 15 years with her two pups, and surrounds herself with close friends and family. She works parttime as a visual merchandiser, and maintains the lifestyle to which she was accustomed. Below are just a few of the things we learned throughout her journey:

1. Allow yourself time to grieve. Don’t rush to make ANY decisions until you’re in a less emotional state-of-mind. This may take 6–12 months. 2. Assemble a financial team. You’ll need an accountant, financial advisor, trusted friend or relative, and a lawyer. It’s so important to ask for professional help, and crucial to create a diverse, encouraging support system. 3. Educate yourself. Take classes at your local college on Social Security, investing, or financial planning. Read and reread books, articles, and websites. 4. Evaluate ALL of your options before making ANY decisions. 5. Trust Yourself. If something doesn’t feel right to you, then don’t do it. Remember, your personal finances are just that: personal! The right solution for someone else may not be the right solution for you. When I think of how Aunt Deb has and continues to deal with the hand she has been dealt, as opposed to how she could have handled it, I’m not only inspired, but so very proud of her. Strength is within each of us. However, sometimes it takes an unplanned life event to bring it to the surface. 1

“Widows and Widowhood,” Women’s Institute for Secure Retirement, 2015. FALL 2018

PHOTO: BRUCE COWART MAKEUP: MADDIE FERRUCCI LOCATION: HIGHER IMAGES 44

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HAVE YOU BEEN

BETRAYED IN

BUSINESS? By Diane Lazarowicz

While working with a client on leadership development, Susan realized her client needed more business consulting and analysis, which was not her specialty. She knew the right person to contact was Ray, a business consultant; however, she was concerned about some ethical issues she had with him in the past.

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Overall, Ray did a wonderful job and assured Susan there would be plenty of future training needs for her with that company. However, one day, while speaking with the HR manager, Susan learned that Ray would be leading a leadership training session with the mangers. Upon reading the training description, Susan realized Ray had betrayed her by taking her leadership training opportunity for himself. Betrayal is a form of deceit so powerful one is often left devastated. So, why do people betray us? Betrayal may be due to power, ego, fear, jealously, low self-esteem or lack of ethics. Sometimes it is the result of a competitive business culture. In a business culture, betrayal can include others stealing your work, ideas, money, jobs, and even companies. Sadly, betrayal is common in business, affecting a person’s ability to maintain healthy relationships and trust others. Since trust is an important component of building relationships, this has a negative effect in the workplace. Because betrayal is so prominent in the workplace, many seek guidance for how to deal with it, so here are the ten R’s for handling business betrayal: 1. React: Actually, try not to react in the moment. Take time to calm down and understand how you feel and why you feel the way you do. Revenge may seem like a good idea at first, but it will not serve you well in the long run and can negatively affect you professionally. Remember that you are a person of integrity and should not compromise your values. 2. Replay: Review the experience and give yourself time to deal with the feelings. Remember that you can only control your actions, not the actions of others. 3. Respond: Many women confront their betrayer by speaking with them, calling in someone of higher authority, or taking legal action. Responding is up to you. If you do speak to the betrayer, stay calm, and do not be disappointed if you do not get the results you expect. Also, understand that the relationship is likely not repairable. 4. Review: Make this a teachable moment. Can you learn a lesson from this experience? Did you play a role in this betrayal? Were there any red flags? Were you too trusting? Should you have set boundaries? Did you need a written contract?

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5. Recover: What will you do differently to prevent this from happening again? 6. Realize: Take a moment to think about the betrayer. Could they be dealing with internal or external struggles emotionally, financially, or spiritually that led them to betraying you? You are not excusing their behavior, just being open to the fact that they may be experiencing something you do not know about. When my children were little, each one had an experience with a bully. At night we would say a special prayer for the bully because they might be suffering from something difficult in their own life. 7. Release: Forgiveness is powerful. Try to forgive the betrayer and, if need be, forgive yourself too. This is not to say you should let the betrayer back into your life again; simply let go of your anger and the negative feelings associated with the experience. 8. Reclaim: Once you have forgiven, it is time to reclaim yourself by being open to trust again. Put the lessons you have learned into action to protect yourself from being betrayed again. 9. Restore: Restore your faith in one another. Not everyone is out to hurt you. Many people out there have your back. 10. Receive: Allow yourself to receive the spiritual guidance necessary to move forward. When it comes to betrayal, you can and should learn from the experience. Take the high road and turn that negative experience into a positive one by looking for the lessons that will help propel you forward for your own personal growth and development. If you perceive the experience as negative, you will be stuck. If you perceive the experience as positive, you will make strides toward becoming your best you. Please share your thoughts on this topic on my Facebook page at Facebook.com/DianeLazarowiczCoach Diane Lazarowicz is an awardwinning executive coach and communication and leadership expert who helps women trust their inner voice to achieve their goals through the delivery of strong communication and leadership. She has over thirty-five years of professional business experience. In addition, Lazarowicz serves on the board of directors for the Pittsburgh Airport Chamber of Commerce and is co-chair of the Membership Committee. She is also a volunteer and advocate of the Choices youth program. TopPerformanceResults.com

PHOTO BY CLARE ASCANI PHOTOGRAPHY

s a business consultant, Ray had used other companies like Susan’s for leadership development and training. Susan did not want Ray to call in one of his other leadership development contacts to do the leadership training instead of her, so she discussed her concerns with him and verbally agreed that any leadership training opportunities would go to her. So, despite the red flags, Susan brought Ray in to work with her client.

BUSINESS

Alleviate The Fear: LET’S PUT THE

PARKLE BACK IN YOUR FINANCIAL HEALTH By Jessica McCrory

It’s fall. That means the kids are back in school, the leaves are changing, cooler weather is upon us, and the holiday season is right around the corner. Change and excitement fills the air, but for many, the holiday season also brings about fear and anxiety. Gift giving, decorating, and entertaining for the holidays are expensive and can place a burden on our finances and our financial health. We often feel obligated to buy for everyone on our list and respond to every party invitation. I am here to help you with some ways you can alleviate the fear and put the “SPARKLE” back in your financial health. #1 “S” Start with a “P” Plan Start by creating a list of people you want to give gifts to this holiday season. Begin to think of gift ideas and place a dollar limit for each person. If there is a big-ticket item your kids, your husband, or your loved ones want, research costs. Look for upcoming sales, coupons, and rebate offerings. Companies feel generous during the holidays, so take advantage of these opportunities. Plan for the parties you will host and start to develop a budget. As part of your plan, begin a regular savings plan. Finally, start early. Do not wait until the last minute, this can lead to overspending. #2 “A” Align your Goals and Values with your “R” Resources Accept that there will be gifts you forgot, parties you did not anticipate, and extra holiday expenses that may come up. Seek out alternative gift giving opportunities. Rather than buying the kids another toy or outfit that they do not need or will not be playing with in a couple of months, encourage the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. to contribute to a college savings account such as a 529 account, state sponsored college

savings account, or custodial account. There are tons of resources out there, and a financial advisor would be able to guide you as to the most appropriate choice. Do not feel that you always need to spend money on gifts. Volunteering at a local food bank, your church, or favorite charity can be a great “free” way to give a gift. #3 “K” Know your “L” Limits Do not let the commercialization of the holiday season overwhelm you. Know your spending limits. If you intend to put something on a credit card, make sure you can pay it off within the next billing cycle. If you are retired, your debt should be retired too. Protect your wealth to stay positive in the new year. When going out with friends and family to restaurants and events, keep the “eat, drink, and celebrate” side of the holidays in check. Know your limits. Finally, if you get a bonus at the end of the year, do not feel that you have to spend it on your family, friends, and the holiday. Use the money as a savings vehicle by contributing to a retirement account or savings account, or pay down any outstanding debt you may have. #4 “E” Enjoy Most importantly, enjoy the time with family and friends. The holiday season is a time to treasure those you love. Remember what is important. Remember the best memories are free! Together we can alleviate the fear and put the “SPARKLE” back into your financial health. Here is to the new beginning to your financial health during the holiday season! Together we got this! Cheers and peace!

Jessica L McCrory, owner of New Beginnings Wealth Advisors, is an investment advisor representative of and offers securities and advisory services through Lincoln Financial Securities Corporation, Member SIPC. Lincoln Financial Securities Corporation is not affiliated with New Beginnings Wealth Advisors. Contact Jessica McCrory at (888)643-4417 x225 or jessicam@newbeginningswealth.com, 451 Valley Brook Road, Suite 201 McMurray, PA 15317. LFS-2190305-072518. FALL 2018

BUSINESS

ASK the REAL ESTATE EXPERT By Jeannine Mullen

HOW DO I CHOOSE A REAL ESTATE AGENT?

Let’s face it. We all know someone in the real estate industry. Maybe its an aunt, uncle, brother-in-law, or just a friend, and you may feel obligated to work with them because of your relationship. Real estate, whether selling or buying, is one of the biggest investments you will ever make. Understanding the everchanging real estate market is a full-time job. It sounds cliché, but it’s true. Make sure your investment is protected. Work with a company and agent that understands your goals and how to help you achieve them. How do you choose the right real estate professional? First of all, choose a REALTOR®. A REALTOR is a member of the NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS® and subscribes to its strict code of ethics. Here are some valuable qualifying steps to take before entering into a business relationship with a REALTOR, which will assist you in your decision process and ensure a successful partnership and transaction. Determine if you are interested in working with an individual real estate agent, or one that works as a team. What are the differences in the service you receive? This depends on your expectations. An individual REALTOR handles the process of marketing and facilitating the sales contract to the closing table personally, from beginning to end. A real estate team is made of two or more team members, some licensed, some not, assigned to facilitate or communicate certain steps within the transaction. There is usually a team leader who delegates the real estate transaction. 48

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Personally, I prefer to handle my client’s real estate transactions from beginning to end, keeping myself fully engaged in the process. I work closely with my home buyers and sellers, listening to them and making sure they understand the process as we move forward. Regardless of who you choose to represent you, your REALTOR must understand the product and market. When selling, it assures you that your home is priced correctly and the marketing is targeting the right buyer. When purchasing, you have confidence that you are paying the right price and your terms are properly negotiated. If you are relocating to a new area, most likely you will start your REALTOR search by looking online. Some real estate agents are experts at marketing themselves but may not be the best at marketing the properties they represent. Do they have the availability to offer you personalized service? In saying this, you want a real estate professional who has enough experience and knowledge to handle your transaction properly. Finding a REALTOR who can offer this balance of experience and knowledge, along with personalized service, will require you to take some time and ask some qualifying questions. Let your REALTOR know what you expect during your business relationship. This will determine the success of your transaction. I suggest you chose three real estate agents, set aside time to meet them, and ask important, qualifying questions, such as: • When and how will we be communicating? If you prefer a certain type of communication (ie: phone call rather than a text or email, etc.), make sure you relay your expectations. • On average, how many homes do you sell in a year? • Are you full- or part-time? • Do you sell in my neighborhood? • How long have you been a REALTOR? This will help you choose a REALTOR you feel comfortable and confident dealing with throughout your transaction.

Good luck and happy house hunting or selling!

PROFILE

It’s Time to Invest in Women,

HERE’S HOW By Walt Sokira

It is time to invest in women! As a man, I want my partner to be treated equitably in the workplace. As a father, I want a better world for my daughters. As a professor, having taught over 5,000 young women, I want opportunities for empowerment and success. And as a wealth advisor, I want to invest in the best ideas. It is critical to invest in what you believe in. Rightly or wrongly, in our world, the agendas that get advanced are those supported by investment. Therefore, when it comes to advancing gender diversity, investors can make an impact. If gender diversity is important to you, then it is important to invest your money in companies that are forward-looking and support gender diversity. Research supports that companies with more women in leadership positions have experienced higher returns-on-capital, greater innovation, increased productivity and higher employee retention and satisfaction. There is an escalating amount of research focusing on the impact of women. Boston Consulting Group, McKinsey Peterson Institute, and the International Monetary Fund have published studies showing the positive impact of women. A March 2018 Bank of America and Merrill Lynch report labels women as the “X-Factor” and concludes that companies with high scores in female diversity saw lower subsequent price and earnings-per-share (EPS) volatility and higher subsequent return on equity (ROE). In simple terms, investing in women is a winning idea. Our group, Akron Wealth Advisors, has spent considerable time the past few years building an individual stock portfolio of companies committed to hiring, promoting, and being led by women. We call the portfolio the Empowered Women's Portfolio and manage it through the Hilliard Lyons Private Investment Management (PIM) Program. This portfolio allows investment directly in 15–30 stocks of companies that are financially powerful, are attractively priced, and offer high scores in gender diversity.

Running the Empowered Woman Portfolio has its challenges. One challenge is a smaller universe of alternatives from which to pick. The graphic by Catalyst shows clearly the lack of gender diversity in S&P 500 companies. Women represent 5% of CEO positions, 21% of the board of director seats, and only about 26% of senior management positions in these companies. We love the challenge of finding the best stocks of companies committed to women. Running the Empowered Women's Portfolio requires us to research companies big and small to find the best ideas. Investing in women is personal for me. In the 70s and 80s, I watched my mother battle her way up the male-dominated corporate ladder pursing her banking career. Our group has a lot of successful women as clients. Managing money for many empowered women is a privilege, and being able to offer an investment portfolio aligned with gender diversity is fulfilling. Our group prides itself on developing and providing custom and meaningful investment solutions.

If you are interested in finding out more about the Empowered Women's Portfolio, please contact Walt Sokira directly at 330.234.7476. Walt Sokira is the senior vice president of Akron Wealth Advisors, located in West Akron, Ohio.

AKRONWEALTH.HILLIARD.COM

How do you STAND OUT in a crowd? As a coach, speaker, or business owner, you have to have positioning, what I like to call the Positioning Sweet Spot. You want to build trust in a positive way. And writing a book is an amazing way to showcase your experience, build rapport, and help your ideal clients. But writing a book can be tough. And you want to do it without the stress, the hassle of tons of rewrites, and the confusion that comes with just “winging it.” Even coaches need a coach.

Contact Cori Your Writing Coach and Book Editor!

cori @coriwamsley.com

Download your FREE “Expert Story Arc” worksheet at coriwamsley.com/ expert-story-arc

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PROFILE

Realty One Group

Gold Standard

“

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place . . . and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me, or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward . . . how much you can take and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done." - Rocky from Rocky Balboa That’s how life has been for Dionne Malush, but she keeps on getting up each time an adversity comes her way. She believes that something good always comes out of each journey and that it has prepared her for where she is today, an owner and partner of Realty ONE Group Gold Standard in the Pittsburgh, Pa., area. Prior to real estate, she had a successful graphic design business until a partnership destroyed her company that she had built for 17 years. She used real estate as a back up to start all over then, realizing that she could use her design talent to help her excel in the business. It was the perfect marriage of two industries. Tirelessly, she built her real estate business into 70+ transactions each year. Then in 2013, Dionne wanted to create a real estate company based on John Rockefeller’s Oil Company, Standard Oil, so she wrote about it in her notebook. In 2017, her partner, Mike introduced her to Realty ONE Group. The colors were her favorite: black and gold, which represented the city she loves so much. Her wheels started turning. After purchasing the franchise, they created a list of sub names to add to Realty ONE Group. Mike, Lindsey, Jason, and Dionne all picked “Gold Standard.” It was an idea manifested many years ago.

They are setting a new Standard in Pittsburgh. ONE that is shaking up the market and changing the way real estate has been done here. They are the first to offer this 100% commission plan in Pittsburgh along with all of the incredible tech and marketing tools that are included. Mike and Dionne's goals are to put the agents in a modern environment, one that helps the agent grow exponentially while increasing the money in their pocket. Together, they close over 100 transactions per year. Their career production is over $135,000,000 with a combined 18 years of experience. They have a solid base with plans for additional growth in the Pittsburgh area and the East Coast. Mindset and creativity will set them apart in this market. In their first five months, they had 51 licensed agents become an integral part of their company. Their goal is to positively affect someone’s life each day, and Realty ONE allows them to do this on many levels. Realty ONE Group Gold Standard is the first Realty ONE Group in western Pennsylvania. With extreme success on the West Coast, they have decided that it’s a great fit for the renovation of Pittsburgh and what it stands for. Realty ONE Group is the #1 fastest growing real estate brand in the United States, as well as the 5th largest in the country with over $21 billion in sales in 2017.

OFFICE 724.941.1427 CELL 724.554.3514•2857 WASHINGTON ROAD MCMURRAY, PA 15317

REALTYONEGROUPGOLDSTANDARD.COM

Educational playdates for the kids. A little relaxation for frazzled parents.

Support. Encourage. Educate. JOI N US TODAY: 724.622.7267 | WWW.MOMSPIRATION412.COM CEO CHRISTINE FURM AN | EDUCATION AL ENTREPRENEUR

FALL 2018

Lisa Harris . . . Behind the Q

PROFILE

Lisa Harris, co-founder of Quantum Source Insurance Group, says that “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey could be her life’s theme song. Lisa lived most of her life in a somewhat isolated valley dotted with small towns known as the Shortline in West Virginia, about two hours south of Pittsburgh, Pa. “Everyone knows you there. No matter where you end up, that place is ingrained in your soul.” When Lisa became a mother at a young age, she did the only thing there was to do: she got married and began raising her family. For the next 20+ years, Lisa focused on raising her three sons and was heavily involved in their lives. “I never missed an activity, and they probably wished I hadn’t been at every game. I was “that Mom,” the one who cheered loudly for everything, even a bad play.” Looking back, she says those really were the best days, but there where challenges. “It was hard. I was young, but they all turned out to be amazing men. Two of them are married now, and I have three perfect grandchildren!” But starting her career in the insurance industry while raising a family was a vast undertaking. Lisa began when her youngest son started school. “I always wanted to be a business woman. Not having a college degree, it was the one thing that I could do. While I do value education, the lack of it does not mean you can’t be successful. You are the only one standing in your way if you think that.” The first few years where difficult, and Lisa said she failed more times than she succeeded. She tried other jobs but kept going back to insurance. “I could be my own boss and manage my own schedule, but I also had a passion for it. I just love people, and knowing I am helping protect them, their business, and families is a great feeling.” Working her way up in the industry, Lisa eventually became a mentor and instructor for others. That is where her expertise in the industry really began to take shape. Then in the summer of 2012, life threw a major curve. A CT scan revealed a large mass on her kidney. The cancer diagnosis was devastating, but Lisa was determined not to let it define or defeat her. Doctors removed the kidney and confirmed it was renal cell carcinoma, and thankfully, no further treatments were needed. “My outlook on life changed that day. I had been so wrapped up in raising a family, being a wife, and my job, that I forgot about me. I knew I had settled. Happiness in life is more than the status quo.” It took almost two more years, but the small town girl decided to take that midnight train going anywhere. “I moved to Pittsburgh, got a divorce, and quit my job, all in the first four months of that year. I call it my Independence Day!” When she met Charles Harris (who is now her husband) through the insurance business, they decided to form a business partnership. Neither were fully happy with their jobs at the time, so Lisa encouraged Charles to pursue their own business together. “Here was this little country girl trying to persuade a highly educated city boy to quit his job and start a company from scratch! Picture that!” That might have been the substance that cemented their relationship, both personally and professionally. “We built this business from the kitchen table, literally. Along the way, we fell in love, and the rest is history. I never stopped believing in my dreams.”

QSAGENT.COM | 412.386.8256, E. U.S. | 972.687.9069, W. U.S.

PROFILE

Voices of Hope for Rape Victims By Kristine Irwin

In January 2004, if you asked me what the words “rape” or “sexual violence” meant, I probably would have had to look up the definition for each. I don’t remember ever being educated about sexual violence and rape. But when I woke up in the hospital that morning in October 2004 and was told I was raped, I was overcome with feelings of shame and guilt. Shame and guilt are two of the big reasons why people don’t come forward when they experience this form of violence. Our society tends to deny, shame, and blame victims. Even as a naïve 19-year-old, I somehow picked up on the stigma. That day, I woke up in a completely different world. It was a dark and scary place. But I had two options—I could either stand up and battle my demons, or I could cower and hide from them. It took me about two years to stop hiding under the covers and truly learn to heal. Fourteen years later, I am in a much better place. With healing, I was able to truly express myself by writing my first book, Voices of Hope. The process started about six years ago when I realized that I wasn’t the only one that had to heal from this traumatic event. My family, friends, and the community around me also had to heal. So I reached out to friends and family to find out how they healed and what they learned from my rape. The responses were amazing and emotional. In my book, you will learn not only my story, but the story of my parents, my college roommate, my husband, and many more on how this incident affected them. Some of them even chose to explain how they initially reacted to it and my healing process. My book’s message benefits our world today with the #metoo movement and #timesup. It shows that, while we are human, we may not know how to react during traumatic situations. It also shares that, although the person that experiences the sexual violence is the most affected, the people around them can be traumatized as well. The stories in Voices of Hope help others who don’t feel like they have a voice. We want you to know that you do. I want anyone that has experienced sexual violence to know that we believe you and that you are loved. Voices of Hope is available on Amazon.com. My organization, Voices of Hope, is aimed at changing rape culture one voice at a time by educating the public on sexual violence, domestic violence, sexual harassment, consent, and bystander intervention. If you would like to donate, please visit Voices-of-hope.org/donate.

VOICES-OF-HOPE.ORG

FIND YOUR INSPIRATION

SUBSCRIBE TODAY!

INSPIRINGLIVESMAGAZINE.COM

CULTURE

“

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement”

—Helen Keller

DANCE transforms LI V E S

By Talia Lewis

PHOTOGRAPHER: VERONIQUE PHOTOGRAPHY

hat do people do when they are happy? They dance! Dance is something we all do when our favorite song plays and when we are out with our friends. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s that delicious and wholesome feeling when you tune into your body while listening to music. Music fixes everything. How is dancing healing? The power of movement brings holistic healing, because the body is not meant to sit and do nothing; it is built to be active. Exercise helps heal digestive problems, injuries, and tension. It helps emotionally, because it lifts your spirits and makes you feel alive, confident, and free. Dance is liberating, bringing joy and laughter, and any day without laughter is wasted. Dancing has the power to heal broken hearts and educate the public about current events, issues, and political concerns. Choreographersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; dance works are authentic, representing reality and embodying a truth. Dance allows room for individuality,

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encouraging uniqueness, which brings overwhelming feelings, and it releases endorphins (the happy hormone). Furthermore, dance unites people from different backgrounds, races, cultures, disabilities, and sexualities. It is connection, connection with people or the music. When dancing with someone, chemistry is created. The connection between two bodies and souls sharing an intimate moment that is performed for the public is a touching moment, because life is all about relationships. Absorbing another’s energy by moving in sync to the same piece of music is an overwhelming experience. What could be more beautiful? You don’t have to be a professional to enjoy dancing. Even if you think you don’t have rhythm, dance is about freely moving, exploring, and experiencing your body. It’s about community, meeting new people and socializing. Also our biggest insecurities tend to be in the flesh, but dancing is about

expressing the true spirit and allows you to relax and be you. It helps us accept who we are, by acknowledging and accepting our imperfections. Learning how to just let go and let be takes years for many but may take less when immersing yourself in a dance class. Initially dance classes help explore who you are, by acknowledging your weaknesses and working on your strengths, finding your creative side, and allowing you the freedom to explore your capabilities in a safe environment. Most of all, the key traits to discipleship and leadership such as devotion, discipline, dedication, determination, organization, listening, and giving energy even if you are tired are all learned within a dance class. Many people struggle to let go of perfection and move on. They struggle to express with words and be vulnerable. During tough times, our emotions attack our confidence and motivation. Dance encourages and challenges one to be strong. The dance community allows one to be in a comfortable, accepting space, because it accepts all differences.

From a dancer’s perspective, it is difficult to answer “Why do you dance?” Every day is a challenge, physically, mentally, cognitively, spiritually, and emotionally. Your body is your tool. Dance is not just moving to music. It is renewing spiritually and opens the mind to new explorations. When I don’t dance or practice, I am less productive. I am distracted and bored. In humanity there is a constant search for something new or for something exciting and original. Dance opens those doors. It invites people to try new things, push limits, awaken the mind, stimulate the body, and challenge the memory. The amount of room for creativity through the body is limitless. We become more aware of the liveliness and aliveness that dance gives as opposed to technique. Developmental psychologist Howard Gardner expresses that we forget to immerse in creative practices after primary school. He says that all the types of intelligences—linguistic, logic, body kinesthetic, spatial, musical, interpersonal, and intrapersonal— complement each other. Dance helps explore all these intelligences through different tasks. As an artist, teacher, choreographer, and performer, my mission is to create dance works that inspire and educate. My concept “Making it Visual” is to visualize and express in any creative way one’s story to make a statement. This idea corresponds to the notion that, as a dancer, we visualize the music, by embodying stories, to change perceptions of society today. Dancer and choreographer Martha Graham states that “the body never lies.” No matter what you think or say, your body tells a story. We can read your truth through your movement. So let’s get moving, release those happy endorphins, meet new people, express yourself, learn to let go, explore, and become stronger and more flexible! Join a Zumba class or dance studio or ballet class or any genre of dance that you feel comfortable in. You will be part of a community, which in life is very important, especially when it comes to support. Help make the world a happier and more peaceful place. Let’s celebrate life through dance! PHOTOGRAPHER: NARDUS ENGELBRECHT FALL 2018

ADVERTORIAL

CHEF PROFILE: Bella Sera, Chef Giuseppe Chef Giuseppe Di Gristina is the man behind the delicious cuisine served at Bella Sera Event Villa & Catering; however, becoming a chef wasn’t originally his plan. “I fell into the industry,” he laughed. “After high school, I wanted to study international business, but I was going through the process of becoming a citizen, so I couldn’t do that.” Di Gristina was born and raised near Palermo, Italy in a small town on the Mediterranean and came to the United States when he was 11. While he waited on his official papers, Di Gristina started learning about the restaurant business from his brother, who was an executive chef. With that base, Di Gristina then went to culinary school to get his chef certificate and become official. Since then, Di Gristina has opened several Italian restaurants, steak houses, and a casino. Though he owned two restaurants in California, Pittsburgh, Pa., is home, and he has been with Bella Sera for over 5 years. “Weddings and events were new for me, but it’s fun. I just enjoy being in the kitchen and around food.” Though he spends a lot of time in the kitchen at work, he also enjoys cooking at home. “My wife, Vincenza—who is a manager at

Bella Sera

a local restaurant—also loves cooking. Plus, our kids are foodies at a young age.” At ages 7, 5, and 3, Gia, Luca, and Enzo are getting early training. “We like to spend a lot of time together as a family, mostly outdoors. We took them to Italy two years ago, so they are starting to enjoy traveling, too.” Travel has majorly influenced the birth and growth of Bella Sera. Italy is apparent in the architecture, and now has spread to the new outdoor space. “We just created the gardens and pond at Bella Sera, which is a perfect seasonal spot for weddings and other special events.” Di Gristina is collaborating with owner, Jason Capps, on the venue’s next project. Their similar interests in food and culture have created a natural bond that set the foundation for a second seasonal space. “We are in the planning stages of opening a low-key outdoor venue right next to Bella Sera that will feature a menu of tapas-style street food from all over Italy: arancine, panelle, spedini, and more.” The design will showcase repurposed building materials and reflect an emphasis on green dining with the goal of taking al fresco dining to the next level.

EVENT VILLA & CATERING

414 MORGANZA ROAD | CANONSBURG, PA 15317 | BELLASERAPGH.COM | TUSCANY TOURS: JASONCAPPS.COM

POLYGAMY:

we are

NOTvictims By Susanna Barlow

I have always known I was different. Everyone feels that way sometimes, but in my case, it was a fact. From my long sleeves and old fashioned-looking dresses to my long hair parted in the middle

and braided. I looked strange compared to the kids I saw from the living room window walking to the high school up the road. I was not like them AT ALL. But it was more than that. My father

had six wives and forty-six children. We lived in total isolation and abject fear of outsiders.

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CULTURE Growing up in a polygamous family I learned a few important things. Doctors were not to be trusted. Never ask for help from outsiders. Silence will save you. Abuse is normal. Education, especially for girls was not important, and men were better than women. I had to unlearn all of these things and many, many more in my journey out of the polygamous culture. I continued to feel like an outsider, long after my clothes and hair helped me fit into mainstream society. It’s easy to look in on the polygamous culture and make snap judgments about the human beings that populate these communities. It’s easy to see them as victims of oppression and religious tyranny. While their circumstances are different, most everything else is the same. They want to be loved and understood and do something meaningful with their lives, just like you. They get scared, jealous, worried, angry and sad, just like you. They are faced with cultural conditioning that is so ingrained they don’t even know it exists, just like you. And just like you they need help sometimes . . . but they do not want to be viewed as victims. The four women highlighted here are anything but victims. Three of them were born and raised in the polygamous culture. The other has spent more than ten years helping polygamists who are leaving their worlds behind and struggling to adjust. Each woman has overcome i n c r e d i b l e obstacles, and in spite of the odds stacked against them, they have managed not only to survive these difficulties but to offer genuine support to others. They inspire those around them and have created powerful changes in the polygamous communities and beyond. Even though they had very little to begin with, they are giving back.

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Julie Nielsen grew up as one of 46 children in a polygamous family where secrecy was a necessary feature of the culture. When she was fifteen, Nielsen discovered a growth in her abdomen. She informed her parents but they were hesitant to take her to a doctor for fear of being “found out.” But when the tumor grew and began causing her immense pain, her father relented, and she was taken to the emergency room. During the surgery that followed, a fallopian tube and one ovary were removed, along with a basketballsized tumor. This would have lasting impact on Nielsen’s health. At eighteen, she was in an arranged marriage to a man who had paranoid schizophrenia. Again, due to the fear of doctors, he was not properly medicated, and everyone denied the seriousness of his mental illness. She eventually gave birth to four children before her husband divorced her and kicked her out of their home. At twenty-eight, Nielsen had very little formal education and nowhere to live. A friend told her about a family living in Colorado City that needed some help so Nielsen made her way to the polygamous enclave and served as a housekeeper and childcare provider for the family. It didn’t take long before the husband propositioned Nielsen to become his second wife. “I desperately needed to be needed,” Nielsen said. But her new husband did not value her and treated her like a servant. That’s when Nielsen realized that she had to learn to value herself. She became interested in self-healing, both the mind and body. She eventually divorced her second husband who had been abusing her children. She studied natural medicine, including reflexology, bio-meridian therapy, minerals, herbs, and nutrition. With nothing to fear, people within the polygamous community sought Nielsen’s help. At first Nielsen served exclusively within the polygamous groups but her reputation soon spread, and clients from all over Utah and Arizona sought her help. “I work with clients from every walk of life,” she said, “and I learned very quickly that we are all the same, our needs are the same, our longings, our hopes, and even our problems. It is only our circumstances that are different.” Today, Nielsen is a wellness consultant and medical intuitive with offices in both Colorado City, Ariz., and St. George, Utah. She is writing a memoir about her experiences.

CULTURE Leona Bateman has found herself in the middle of a life she could never have imagined. Born and raised in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), she was married at 16 to her husband, who was 17. Under the dominance of the deranged Warren Jeffs—a convicted felon and child molester— Bateman and her family were put under increasing pressure to obey his leadership. Jeffs could legally evict families from their homes, take away their livelihood (Bateman’s husband had a business), and separate family members. During this time, Bateman’s 15-year-old son was expelled from the community, and his family was warned to have nothing to do with him. This would be the beginning of the end for Bateman and her family. Eventually, they left the FLDS and moved to Elko, Nev. Bateman was reunited with her son, only to discover that during their separation he had struggled with homelessness, arrest and jail, abuse, drugs, and alcohol. In 2014 he ended his life. Bateman, devastated by this loss, decided to take action. She moved back home. She was shocked by the state of her community. There was a sense of hopelessness as families that had been torn apart had no idea how to reunite. Young people were leaving without resources or options. Women who wanted out typically had no education and didn’t know how to divorce their husbands or gain custody of their children. She created a support group called The Girlfriend Club exclusively for women from a polygamist background. “These women who have been viewed as weak and submissive are some of the strongest people I know,” Bateman said. The Girlfriend Club provided a safe environment for these silenced and traumatized women to find their voices and reconnect with other women. Soon, Bateman also started a nonprofit organization, The Creekers Foundation, to expand these resources. It includes The Brave Youth Project, which offers educational resources to young men and women, including drug awareness, dating and rape, p o r n o g r a p h y, Internet safety, and more. Bateman is seeking donations, sponsors, and educational speakers for her events. For more information go to creekersutah.com.

Education would change Susan Mackert’s life. Mackert is the daughter of a polygamist family from Colorado City, Ariz. and is the 9th of 36 children. Her early school years were spent in the Colorado City Academy: a public school run by the FLDS. Mackert was told that girls didn’t need much of an education and was not encouraged to study. Instead of believing these voices, Mackert was determined to prove them wrong. She was very competitive with her fellow students and was always reading. By the time she was in high school, she was on track to enter college. But before she graduated, her parents married her off. “It was an arranged marriage. I was 17 and he was 23. He was not my choice of a husband, but I was stuck with him as far as I could see. But I was determined to finish high school and go to college.” She worked during the day and took classes at night for three years before getting her associate’s degree. She continued her education while also having children at home. She went on to receive a BA in business education and became the campus dean of the Mohave Community College in Arizona. When she had her fifth child, her husband took a second wife. She threw herself wholly into her work to avoid the stress at home. After running the college for ten years, Mackert was 45 years old and mother to 11 children. That’s when she finally had had enough and divorced her husband. “Even though I was afraid, having an education and knowing that I could financially provide for myself and kids was crucial to my decision to leave.” She completely uprooted her children, left the polygamous community, and moved to Cedar City, Utah. Mackert is currently the academic director of Moonridge Academy, a residential treatment facility where she works with high-risk girls who have been traumatized. She deals directly with young girls who have dealt with suicide attempts, adoption issues, sex trafficking, abuse, and many other types of trauma. In addition to her work with girls, she is on the board of education for a new Montessori school opening in Colorado City, where she is thrilled to support new educational opportunities for polygamist children. Mackert is writing a memoir about her personal struggles and finding her freedom. FALL 2018

CULTURE Tonia Tewell didn’t grow up in polygamy but she knows all about dysfunctional families—her parents were alcoholics and drug addicts. When Tewell was twelve, she and her brother were abandoned. A family in the neighborhood took them in and treated them like their own children, even making sure they were well educated. Eventually Tewell moved from Nebraska to Utah, got married, and began raising a family. Tewell’s life came to a halt when she was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in 2005. Sometime after her diagnosis, she received an email from a member of her church group letting her know that there was a mother with five children that had nowhere to go. She was from a polygamist community. Tewell knew nothing about polygamy, but she felt compelled to help. “Someone took me in when I had nowhere to go,” she said. The family moved into Tewell’s house. Their story touched her, and she was concerned by the vast need of so many other polygamist women and children. “I think the gift of my cancer was that it inspired me to live boldly and to make a difference.” She created Holding Out Help (HOH) to support the many polygamists who found themselves desperate for help. The HOH center has two full sized apartments, a kitchen, a conference room and gathering place for events and personal offices for therapists and Tewell herself. The services provided include basic survival provisions, food, clothing and shelter but it also offers counseling services, therapy, help procuring grants, legal services, and support with education. HOH also offers parenting programs and workshops that teach basic job skills like writing a resume, interviewing, and learning to budget. “The women in these polygamist communities have the right to divorce their husbands should they choose, the men have a right to have access to their children, and the children have a right to go to school and be free of abuse in the home.” Holding out Help is supported by the Utah Department of Workforce Services, the Utah Attorney General’s Office, Adobe Inc. Exodus Health Care, and many others. To help or to learn more, visit holdingouthelp.org.

Jody Salerno,

PROFILE

Founder of Personal Safety Alliance & The Woman’s Warrior Self-Defense Weekend

Professional speaker, educator, and media contributor, Jody Salerno offers safety trainings nationwide on personal safety and conflict resolution to corporations, universities, realtors, healthcare workers, and businesses. She helps you develop the skills needed to formulate and lead your own plan of action for personal safety. Personal Safety Alliance offers firearms training, specializing in training new women shooters. Salerno’s safety workshops and seminars teach you about situational awareness, how predators choose their victims, how to get out of various holds, and much more. “The number of people becoming victims of violent crime is staggering. Everyone needs a personal protection plan, and they need to practice that plan.” Salerno launched Personal Safety Alliance to empower women. Personal and tragic events in her life reinforced the need for her to take responsibility for her own protection and safety. Her firearms training began in 2013 which led to her to become an NRA-certified instructor. In addition to holding multiple certifications for self-defense and firearms training, she is also the founder of the first of its kind event to educate and empower women, The Woman’s Warrior Weekend Retreat. Join us at the next Woman’s Warrior Weekend Retreat to learn the important skills you need to design your own personal plan of protection.

Advocate/jodysalerno

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412.779.7588 WWW.PERSONALSAFETYALLIANCE.COM

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PROFILE

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Katharine Perry, CFP ® Financial Consultant A financial consultant with Fort Pitt Capital Group since March 2016, and a financial professional since 2014, Katharine Perry was drawn to the wealth management industry at an early age. Her parents—both involved in business—instilled in her the importance of financial acuity. This, coupled with her decision to pursue a psychology degree at the University of Pittsburgh, has allowed her to uniquely hone in on behavioral finance and help regional clients with long-term wealth management plans today. An emerging professional herself, Perry feels she is especially well poised to assist millennial females. They are an underserved market in the industry, so educating this demographic on personal finance and investment knowhow is a passion that Perry plans to pursue. Given her client-first philosophy and behavioral finance expertise, Perry looks forward to not only helping young professionals with finances, but to truly guiding them toward long-term financial success.

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BOOK REVIEW

DROP THE BALL: ACHIEVING MORE BY DOING LESS BY TIFFANY DUFU Review by Denise Galloni Photo By: Marla Aufmuth/Getty Images

eeing the title of this book, Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less, I knew it was a book I wanted to read. In the age of minimalism, who doesn’t want to achieve more by doing less? With Gloria Steinem writing the forward, I knew it would be worth checking out. The book starts out with the author telling her personal story. The reader follows her journey of marrying her sweetheart, the love of her life. At that time, life was perfect! As you read on chapter by chapter you realize the author is an overachiever who needs to take care of everything to make sure it is done correctly. Does this sound familiar to anyone? It rang true with me. Once she has her first child, she becomes aware very quickly things need to change. It was impossible for her to climb the corporate ladder, raise a family, and maintain the home. By the birth of her second child, her husband accepted a new job out of the country. She had no choice but to drop the ball on a few things. I kept wondering as I read chapter by chapter what would I do in her situation? Dufu discusses how it is hard for women to have the career of their dreams and keep up with the stereotypical role of a woman, especially a mother. It was at this aha moment, she realized just

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because she was better at doing something didn’t mean she was the only one who should do the task. The rest of the book explained how she developed a spreadsheet and the way her family achieved more by delegating the tasks and only doing what was essential to keep the household functioning. Tiffany learned to grow professionally while having it all. She had the career of her dreams, two children, managed the household all while her husband would spend months across the world for his career. She is proof it can be done. This book puts into perspective all we must do and questions if we really must do it all ourselves? As a woman (and an overachiever at times), I think the way I do things may be more efficient and a better way of doing it, but in the grand scheme of things, isn’t it only important that something gets done? If you feel overwhelmed and find it impossible to get everyday responsibilities completed because of too much going on, you may want to implement a system like the author’s. While the percentage of women in executive positions is still lower than men, this story is proof you can make it and be successful. This book convinced me that maybe we should all try dropping the ball and achieving more by doing less.

Building a Bridge

BRIGHTER FUTURE to a

FOR HOMELESS CHILDREN By Cori Wamsley | Photos provided by Ya Momz House, Inc.

“Being recognized and honored is such a blessing,” said Emmai Alaquiva. “I want to use that influence to give back to the community.” Alaquiva built his name in Pittsburgh, Pa., as an artist and businessman through Ya Momz House, Inc., the digital multimedia agency he founded. When he was informed that he would be recognized by Black Enterprise (which owns Black Enterprise Magazine) as a top 100 BE Modern Man and appointed by Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolf as a council member on the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, Alaquiva saw an opportunity to raise money and awareness for an important community issue: youth homelessness.

“

Being recognized and honored is such a blessing. I want to use that influence to give back to the community.”

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Alaquiva and Ya Momz House, Inc. organized a happy hour event to benefit the Pittsburgh nonprofit Homeless Children’s Education Fund (HCEF), which provides support like educational programs to homeless youth in the area. Often, a child living in a shelter doesn’t have the same educational opportunities that other children have. An education is imperative for children to become successful adults. Educational programs show children that being homeless doesn’t define their worth. Alaquiva knows something about how the children in a shelter feel. He survived homelessness in Pittsburgh by spending time in public libraries. Eventually, through his own ingenuity and the help of his family and friends, Alaquiva worked some odd jobs and then launched Emmy award-winning Ya Momz House, Inc., which has a client list that includes Fortune 500 companies and community organizations. This speaks volumes to the human ability to cope and overcome adversity. “You have to learn from your adversity to build character inside your heart to impact others. Supporting organizations like HCEF and working with young people is important to my wife and me. We want to help children have the foundation to succeed and impact generations to come.” The event was a bigger success than Alaquiva ever imagined. Roughly 350–400 guests visited Savoy Restaurant & Wine Bar throughout the evening, and they raised over $3,000 for HCEF through ticket sales, donations, and the sale of a painting (which was painted live at the happy hour by artist CB Perry). Ya Momz House, Inc. handled promotion for the happy hour fundraiser. Special guests included City of Pittsburgh Mayor Bill Peduto, Kate Dewey, Pennsylvania State Representative Ed Gainey, writer and editor Damon Young (VerySmartBrothas, GQ Magazine, Ebony Magazine), Allegheny County Councilman Tom Baker, Robert Morris University President Dr. Chris Howard, musician Boaz, artist DS Kinsel (BOOM Concepts), artist Thomas Agnew (BOOM Concepts), and activists Paradise Gray (1HOOD) and Leon Ford. Other event staff included Jamar Thrasher of Kennedy Blue Communications, event planner Shayla Hawkins Events, photographer Leah Loves That, DJ Nate Da Barber, and live visual artist Cue Perry. The happy hour was sponsored by Black Enterprise, Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, UPMC, UPMC Health Plan, Savoy Restaurant & Wine Bar, Shayla Hawkins Events, BMe, P&W BMW, Poise Foundation, and Ya Momz House, Inc. Supporting organizations like HCEF helps build bridges, not only for children to have access to educational tools, but also for the community to come together for a cause and understand who they are helping and why it’s important. “If we are the city of bridges, we are supposed to build and cross those bridges instead of looking at each other from each shore.” Note: Alaquiva is also the executive director of Hip-Hop On L.O.C.K., an arts education program for students and is the curator of OpticVoices, an interactive art gallery that engages participants to caption photos that exemplify the grit and determination of the human experience.

MUSIC REVIEW

MEGAN KASHAT: DEEP HOUSE WITH A DEEP MESSAGE By Jess Branas

can picture it. The doorman in the black suit donning an earpiece. A strong stare, he opens the door, giving you permission to enter the club or lounge. Soaring ceilings with an automatic light show that emphasizes the beat that you can feel down to your heart. The club could be dark shades of red, black, white or even violet, but it is sleek down to the shine on the floor. Chic couches and tables are strategically placed to give everyone who wants to see or be seen the perfect view. And those ceiling lights? Well they don’t distract from the lit bar top and shelving to match. Whether a causal or chic spot, every city has at least one. But what brings this scene to my mind is the music. And Megan Kashat is a true creator. Listening to DJ RoelBeat featuring Megan Kashat on their single “Man in the Sky” it was Deep House Dance to it’s core. This slower variant of House music that emerged in the 1980s, the sound of Deep House Dance has built a vibe that is sexy, cool, and mysterious. Often, this is where collaboration between singersongwriters and DJs becomes an artform. Kashat and RoelBeat demonstrate this intense partnership sprinkled with colorful beats and fascinating melody. With her new EP A Dirty Deed for Fame debuting this fall, Kashat continues her Deep House style. Upon first listen, her music is reminiscent of the remarkable moment when Madonna and DJs collided, designing her music as masterpieces so versatile to

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the audience that they topped charts and rang throughout clubs, lounges, and radio. Kashat is taking this to a whole new level. The pulse of the music and electronic and alluring vocal accents grip the listener. Her voice is creamy and fluid as she effortlessly glides from various pitches that are pleasurable to anyone’s ear. This smoothness is even more exemplified by her warm tone. However, what sets Kashat apart are her lyrics. Thoughtprovoking and honest with underling themes such as domestic violence, this singer-songwriter is relevant to today’s pressing issues. Each song establishes a connection with the listener that is undeniable, emotional, and intimate. With this connection she tackles the hard truth and brings hope. The message is clear. Kashat is creating music with a purpose that resonates not just with her audience but with all people.

SHALIEVE By Rachael Rennebeck | Photo Courtesy of Total Sports Enterprises

his summer, Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Ryan Shazier made his public debut after a debilitating hit during regular season football. Shazier was carted off the field and hospitalized after a scary hit against the Cincinnati Bengals during the December 4th game. The outpouring of support was immediate, and so was Shazier’s determination to fight back from the pain, numbness, and weakness in his legs. These symptoms were caused by a vertebra that had slipped out of alignment and was pressing on a vertebra below. For most, such a devastating injury might be a long-term or even a permanent disability. But the same drive and perseverance level that made Shazier a top round NFL draft pick, pushed him to work toward a full recovery. But this was not a one-person journey. Shazier’s

family, especially his father, was and still is a key source of his tenacity. He credits his father for helping him recover thanks to his constant prayer and positive vibes. And what started as a game-day ritual—praying with his father—Shazier now considers to be a life ritual. He believes that praying with his dad about football, and more importantly about life, is key to a balanced way of living. “I am getting stronger and healthier every day with dedication and faith,” said Shazier. As a result, after months of intense physical therapy and doctor intervention, Shazier greeted hundreds of fans at his Total Sports Enterprises (TSE) debut signing in June. He spent the afternoon signing and smiling with them. TSE and Shazier donated a portion of the signing proceeds to a UPMC spinal research group to show their appreciation

IN YOURSELF

for UPMC’s involvement in Shazier’s treatment and rehabilitation. “Steeler Nation is behind my progress,” he said. “All of the Steelers, the fans, the support. They believed in me. Honestly the love is what made me work harder to come back to football.”

“

All of the Steelers, the fans, the support. They believed in me. Honestly the love is what made me work harder to come back to football.” FALL 2018

THEATRE REVIEW

DEAR EVAN HANSEN: AN INTENSELY RELEVANT AND DEEPLY PERSONAL MUST-SEE By Karen Captline

ow do I communicate the importance of the Tonywinning musical Dear Evan Hansen in my assigned allotment of words? How do I describe one of the most gut-wrenching, cathartic, and enjoyable experiences of my life? (*cracks knuckles*) Hold my wine sippy cup . . . Dear Evan Hansen is the story of a lonely teen (Evan Hansen) struggling with severe social anxiety. He is mistakenly identified as the secret best friend of Connor Murphy, a student who has committed suicide. The Murphy family finds comfort that Connor had a friend, and Evan doesn’t have the heart to tell them it’s not true. He goes on to make up stories to help lessen their grief. Evan and the family cling to each other in a codependent cycle of connection and comfort. As Evan's well-intentioned lies accumulate, a community of hope emerges around Connor’s memory, promising those who feel invisible that they will be found. A cast of eight characters tell the story, struggling in various ways before and in the wake of the suicide. The ninth character is an omnipresent social media—hovering over the action in the form of shifting screens—that brings the show to its conclusion. That concludes the factual portion of this review. Now it gets incredibly difficult. Dear Evan Hansen captures every emotion with an intensity and authenticity that stuns. I can’t predict how you will react to it, but thousands of theatergoers will testify that tears will be involved in some way.

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If you’re a parent, you’ll be touched by the Murphys and Heidi, Evan’s single mother, as they struggle to connect with their children. You’ll see students hiding their insecurities behind humor or achievements. If you’ve ever felt lonely or invisible or suffered from anxiety or depression, you will want to leap onto the stage and wrap Evan in a protective embrace. In the end, when we embrace Evan and all his faults, we realize we can do that for ourselves. For me, it was this lesson in self-compassion that was transforming. I’ve never been good at it. Even as I sit here writing and rewriting this review, I know I’ll see it in print and regret something I’ve missed. But I won't beat myself up too badly. Because if you go see Dear Evan Hansen because of something I’ve written here, then it's enough. Now go buy your tickets and discover what Dear Evan Hansen will bring to you.

“

FOOD & TRAVEL

Vineyards at Castello Di Monsanto

We can live with no brain, as a vegetable, but we cannot live without a heart. Therefore, we must experience life with our heart.” — Gino Rosi

KIM ADLEY’S:

Passport to Inspiration

Tuscan antipasti platter...delicioso!! Photo: Jason Capps

FINDING THE “HEART” OF TUSCANY

I met Gino Rosi on the ninth day of my ten days in Tuscany. He was the guest tour leader, wine expert, and consummate storyteller for our intimate group of 14 travelers on a day trip to the Chianti Classico region of Italy. I listened to Gino talk in the van about history, philosophy, wine, food, women, and the beauty of the Tuscan countryside and was drawn in by his passion. For eight days preceding, I had been immersed in Tuscan culture and experiencing so many wonderful places on a very unique tour called “Ten Days in Tuscany,” but in that moment, I realized I hadn’t been doing it with the right mindset. It was like a revelation as I listened to Gino, and I knew in order to find my true inspiration on this amazing trip I needed to let down my journalistic American guard; let go of my expectations; stop comparing, over-analyzing, taking notes; and simply embrace Tuscany with my heart. Thank goodness I figured it out in time … for it was the most magical day under the Tuscan sun. High on a hill in the vineyards of Castello di Monsanto, Gino led us by foot to an ancient stone lookout tower. We climbed the roughhewn steps and were greeted at the top with a white linen covered table lined with wine glasses, bottles of wine, and a spectacular view. He uncorked the bottles and generously poured us a deep pink Rosé. It was 9:00 am! I pushed the thought of time from my head and instead stayed present in the moment by toasting my fellow travelers the way Gino had instructed; with purpose, with eye contact, with words of sincerity and with a firm touch of wine glasses that makes a beautiful sound followed by a slow purposeful sip of wine that lingers on the tongue and truly allows for tasting. While we drank the Fabrizio Bianchi Rosato 2016 in the morning sun, I gazed at the panoramic 360 degrees of beauty that enveloped me. Rolling green hills, blue skies, and grape vines as far as the eye could see. I breathed in deeply the scent of earthiness, felt the warmth of the sun, noticed bright patches

Regional Tuscan winesAntica Locando di Sesto, Lucca

Olives from Fattoria di Camporomano

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View From Le Tre Terrazze, Monteggiori

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Villa Reale Botanic Gardens, Capannori

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(A Door in) the Village of Gualdo

Villa Calcinaia Winery , Greve, Classico Chianti Region | Photo: Jason Capps

of wildflower color between endless green vines, listened to the melodious quality of Gino’s voice and tried with all my heart to be in the moment. It was the serendipitous culmination of all that I dreamed my Tuscan adventure would be and . . . it was bliss. The “Ten Days in Tuscany” Tour is a truly satisfying taste of “la dolce vita” and is offered twice a year in May and October. The food-centric adventure is personally guided by knowledgeable and engaging Pittsburgh chef and restaurateur Jason Capps. The tour offers a fast-paced itinerary that was purposefully curated by Capps to showcase what he feels is “the best of the best.” All meals were at amazing restaurants, were included in the tour package, and provided some of the most extraordinary dining experiences Italy has to offer. I came home full and satisfied and with a new appreciation for Tuscan cuisine prepared with pride and the freshest, most simple ingredients. The tour also trends a new style of “agritourism” which immerses guests in authentic settings and allows them to personally experience the passion of a chef, wine maker, or farmer. A perfect example was our historical accommodations at an olive oil farm on the outskirts of Lucca called Fattoria Di Camporomano. We were treated to the warm hospitality of our host, Niccolo, in his family home and learned first-hand the pride and passion that goes into generations of olive oil production. A highlight of the stay was a hands-on pasta making class in the large Camporomano family kitchen taught by the gracious innkeeper and matriarch, Elena, and two experienced pasta making “bella donnas” who spoke no English. It was a wonderful learning experience that surpassed language barriers. After class, our diverse group of 14 dined on our labors. We laughed, talked, and enjoyed….. All of our diversity brought together by a simple meal in an amazing place. In addition to the abundance of local food and wine, the tour treated us to visits in some charming smaller cities not typically on the tourist trail. Places like Viareggio, Vernazza, Panzano, Pietrasanta, Santa Teresa, Carrara, San Gimignano, and Siena all provided beautiful surprises, amazing tastes, and passionate people to fondly remember. I may not have started the 10 days in Tuscany experiencing things with my heart, but I certainly finished that way and am forever changed by this amazing Tuscan journey. When least expected, “Gino-isms” (memorable Gino Rosi quotes) will pop into my thoughts. I ordered a glass of wine the other day in a restaurant and could hear Gino saying, “Remember . . . wine is never just what you find in a glass. It is the people, the land, the passion, and everything that went into making it. So taste it with that in mind!” I promise, Gino, I will. Grazie! Grazie mille! FALL 2018

IF YOU GO:

• Ten Days in Tuscany Tour with Jason Capps www.tendaysintuscany.com • Fattoria Di Camporomano www.fattoriacamporomano.it • Castello di Monsanto www.castellodimonsanto.it • Chianti Classico Region Tours with Gino Rosi info@frattoriarossifirenze.it

A street in the walled city of Lucca

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Something to learn, something to experience and something to remember with

a smile.

Book Your Custom Tour by contacting Kim Adley at 412.298.0409 Or visit passporttopittsburgh.com

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RESTAURANT REVIEW

ELEVEN Our dining experience, at Eleven located in the Pittsburgh, Pa.’s, Strip District was exquisite. The gentlemen at the valet station were pleasant and prompt as they welcomed us when we arrived. The ambiance that particular evening was relaxed and enjoyable as we were escorted to a beautiful private room— the perfect table for a birthday celebration for our dear friend. As we waited for our guests to arrive, the wait staff collected our drink order and brought us delicious sangria. It was sweet but not too sweet, garnished with fresh summer berries. The Cheese Plate was recommended while we chose our first course. The variety of cheese and meat were divine: Midnight Moon, a hard pasteurized goat cheese from Holland; Fat Cat, handmade raw milk semi-soft cheese from Chester County, Pa., and others. One of our favorites was Nancy’s Camembert from Old Chatham, New York. This soft cheese is a blend of cow and sheep milk with an elegant taste. We also indulged in the Jumbo Crab Cake and Island Creek Oysters. I thoroughly enjoyed the Heirloom Tomato 79

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By Christine Furman

Salad, with large, locally grown, fresh tomatoes, basil, champagne vinaigrette, and Manchego cheese. As we made our final decisions on dinner choices, we were greeted by a bread man, offering three types of fresh bread, such a wonderful and personal touch. Because Chef Eli Wahl and his team create a menu that constantly changes to offer the season’s best, choosing the right entrée was effortless. Ricotta Cavatelli, Beef Tenderloin, and Seafood Tasting were among the choices for the evening. Each dish was elegantly arranged and had an abundance of flavor. I was very impressed by the accommodations and requests they fulfilled. One member of our party was arriving late, so the wait staff adjusted the time when the orders were placed to ensure the food would be ready when he arrived. They were also very accommodating to requests for changes to the menu. One guest had dietary concerns and was easily able to change the side dishes that were paired with her entrée. The Ricotta Cavatelli was beautifully enhanced with seasonal vegetables and smooth and creamy ricotta. Many of our guests ordered the Beef Tenderloin which was cooked to perfection for each one of us. We enjoyed the juicy flavor of the tenderloin paired with potato gnocchi and seasonal vegetables, such as shitake mushrooms or roasted cauliflower, my personal favorite. The Seafood Tasting included a well-crafted variety of seafood like halibut, crab cake, and sea scallop. Each dish was made to perfection and met all of the guests’ needs as they enjoyed each bite. We certainly topped off the birthday celebration with a delicious dessert. We thoroughly enjoyed the Candy Bar, rich and creamy chocolate cake topped with peanut butter cream and served with chocolate ice cream. Our guest of honor even had a special Happy Birthday chocolate bar with her dessert. Other favorites were the Banana Cream Pie and Lemon Crème Brûlée. As we finished our desserts and conversations, we were gifted homemade chocolate truffles that truly melted in your mouth. Overall, the birthday celebration at Eleven was a success: great food, wonderful atmosphere and staff, and always a great time with friends.

— Joseph Addison

HEALTH & WELLNESS

“

Health and cheerfulness naturally beget each other. ”

Tear OFF the Mask of Perfection and Reveal Your True Beauty By Pamela Power Scanlon, M.S.

Have you ever shown up at work, in a social scene, or even with your family as though you have your act perfectly together, even when you didn’t? All people put on masks of perfection from time to time. But have you ever considered the implications that striving for perfection can have on your overall well-being? I’d like to invite you to take off your mask of perfection and reveal the true you. This is why. We are all beautifully human. That humanness makes true perfection impossible. Being perfect goes beyond desiring good or even great results. It’s almost impossible to achieve and even harder to maintain. Trying to be perfect increases stress, lowers self-esteem, and results in overall discontent. Dr. Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, describes perfectionism as a 20-ton shield we carry around to avoid being hurt. Regardless of how you describe it, trying to be perfect or just pretending to be perfect sets us up for failure. What can we do to shift away from the desire to achieve the unachievable and shift toward opportunities for growth and deeper connection? We can start by taking off the perfectionist mask and stepping into the shoes of a high achiever. Both set high goals. Both strive for excellence. But the differences of these two seemingly similar types are profound. 81

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Perfectionists and high performers can be in the same room, experiencing the same thing, but will interpret a totally different outcome. For example, high performers appreciate work well done, and see the space between that level of performance and perfect as room for development. Perfectionists see anything less than perfect as a failure. High performers take pride in their accomplishments, while perfectionists look critically and see the imperfections. High performers are motivated by a desire to achieve their goals. Perfectionists are motivated by fear of failure and underachievement. High achievers are resilient and get back in the game when things don’t go as planned. Perfectionists tend to land in self-degradation and can feel paralyzed by stress. High performers exhibit high self-esteem. Perfectionists view themselves critically and see their flaws as shameful. Essentially, when we strive for perfection, we prevent ourselves from living a happy, fulfilled life. But unfortunately, we may also put pressure on those around us to meet that standard, even if it’s unintentional. So why do so many of us struggle with perfectionism when the reality is that none of us are perfect?

Dr. Brown explains that we struggle with perfectionism in the areas where we feel the most vulnerable. She says, “If I look perfect, live perfect, and work perfect, I can avoid or minimize criticism, blame, and ridicule.” We’re afraid to appear weak. But in truth, it’s when we show up as our authentic selves, flaws and all, that is when we’re most courageous. When we share our vulnerabilities, we open ourselves up to developing strength, character, and more meaningful relationships. Imagine what life would be like if you decided to take off your perfectionist mask? Take a moment to consider the idea of showing up each day, in all areas of your life, comfortable in your own skin, and free to express who you truly are. How would you look? How would you feel? How would your authenticity impact your stress, self-esteem, the quality of your relationships, and your happiness? Today, I challenge you to change your language from perfectionist to high performer. Rather than criticize yourself, celebrate the fact that life always leaves you space to evolve and improve. Give yourself the freedom to breathe and the courage to be seen. You will discover the genuine beauty you were created to be. For more articles like this or to sign up for my newsletter, visit my blog at wellroundedwellness.com/blog

H&W

STEPS to Lasting Confidence By Nancy Mramor Kajuth Ph.D.

Many people ask me how to believe in, love, and accept themselves. It is an important question; without self-love and acceptance you cannot maintain a long-term vision and learn to walk in your own shoes. Knowing who you are and which shoes fit the best comes before setting out toward confidence. So begin with some soul-searching. Very simply, set achievable goals. Research on selfesteem shows that taking small steps toward goals is critical for achieving long-term success. You can have a series of these goals, leading to a big goal, but start with the first one. Acknowledge the completion of each step, telling yourself what it means, increasing your self-esteem toward each level of your vision. Understand the difference between inner and outer success. Outer success is often based on accomplishments and the attention that you receive regarding them. Yet even major accomplishments may not be seen by others, leaving you feeling empty. If you give yourself credit for them, accepting the qualities and strengths within you that led to success, then the benefit becomes long-lasting. Otherwise, you will judge yourself on your last accomplishment and will need to immediately start meandering toward another one. Take time to see where you have walked and let it become a part of you before you continue on your path. Nancy Mramor Ph.D. is a licensed clinical, media and health psychologist, specializing in radio, TV, technology and print as they impact you and your health. She has been featured on over 350 television, print and radio placements including CBS, NBC, ABC, PBS, Fox, and many others.

Listen to how you maintain your confidence in yourself with or without success. When things go wrong or you miss an opportunity, what do you tell yourself that it means? What is the answer to eternal confidence? Being mindful of what you are feeling and thinking by using mindfulness techniques is the beginning of the journey. Becoming more mindful in daily life changes the way you view events and brings about a real conscious life that is not measured by false visions of success. Use mindfulness to lead to silence. The soul of confidence comes from the time you spend in a meditative state of silence, where you are in touch with your true self. This is where love and acceptance reside. The effort to set achievable goals, to understand the different types of success, to learn mindfulness, and finally, find of a period of silence, results in a place where confidence is true to who you already are, before you take any steps at all. For a lifetime of confidence go to 4 Sessions for Reaching Deep Relaxation. Find out more at drnancyonline.com/product/deeprelaxation-and-transformation/

FALL 2018

TEENS & SUICIDE: a message of hope By Sarah Rashmee Souri

FALL 2018

hen Suzanne LaVoie was only three years old, she was hospitalized for complications of severe asthma. Barely a toddler, she was put in an oxygen tent and endured blood gas treatments and other painful medical procedures. Doctors told her mother that young LaVoie only had a fifty percent chance of surviving. However, she pulled through her excruciating struggle with asthma, a respiratory condition that can be life-threatening. Years later, when she was a sophomore in high school, LaVoie experienced a different type of life-threatening struggle. She calls it “emotional asthma,” which ultimately led to her first suicide attempt at age 16. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe emotionally,” she said. “There was a lot of chaos and dysfunction in my family of origin.” Lavoie describes a series of events that led to her first suicide attempt, bolstered by a stressful home life that was further complicated by an alcoholic father and a mother who struggled with hoarding issues. During her sophomore year, a male “friend” attempted to rape LaVoie. She confided in a girlfriend, but her girlfriend didn’t believe that the incident happened. When other peers heard about it, they accused LaVoie of making up the whole story. Feeling alone and hopeless, LaVoie tried to kill herself by cutting her wrists with a box cutter. She said that moment was a turning point for her. “When I saw the blood coming, it really frightened me. I knew I could die. I thought maybe there’s someone out there who would listen to me. I just didn’t know who it was,” LaVoie said. Shortly after surviving that attempt, she opened up about her feelings to her school psychologist. Finally, LaVoie had found someone who listened and understood. Jami Keller understands the devastating feelings that could lead to a teenager wanting to take his or her own life. He tried to kill himself at the age of 13. “I felt rejected, isolated, and lonely and that I was a burden. I felt like giving up. There was actually a peace that came over me when I took the pills,” Keller said. He called his best friend to say goodbye. His friend, along with his friend’s parents, immediately came to Keller’s house and took him to the hospital, which saved his life. Keller states that he lived in a “passively suicidal state” for the next 17 years and used

alcohol, marijuana, and relationships with girls to dull his emotional pain. Ed Sutter has worked with passively and actively suicidal teens as the director of Middle School Ministry & Family Counseling at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh, Pa. He is also a youth workers specialist with Soul Shop, an organiz ation that trains leaders to equip congregations and communities to deal with suicidal issues. Sutter said that some of the warning signs that a teenager may be suicidal are sudden changes in mood, dress, activities, friends, or behaviors (including substance abuse or isolating themselves). He points out that the prevalence of social media adds a whole new meaning to the word “bully.” “I heard this quote somewhere and it’s really true,” he said, in reference to so many teenagers carrying a cell phone with them 24 hours a day. “Nowadays, the bully goes home with kids in their pocket.” He believes that creating a healthy support system for teens can greatly help in teen suicide prevention. He emphasizes that having straightforward conversations with teens is important. “I encourage parents to reflect on when they were a teenager. I ask them to think about what was important to them at that time in their lives,” Sutter said. “There’s a difference between having a voice and being heard. Kids have a voice in many ways, by talking, texting, and even social media. But is anyone actually listening to them? And that’s what we have to do, get ready to listen to our teens without judgment.” Jan DelRey is a mental health advocate and speaker for the “In Our Own Voice” program sponsored by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). She has struggled with depression for decades and stresses the importance of reducing the social stigma that society has toward mental illness and even just talking about suicide. “Awareness and education is the key. Reducing stigma about mental illness provides a path for people to get into

recovery,” DelRey said. “If you’re worried about someone, make sure the person gets help, because the situation is not going to resolve itself. There’s so much pressure on kids these days. They feel like they have to be perfect.” Suzanne LaVoie, the woman who struggled with asthma as a young child and “emotional asthma” as a teen and adult, now describes herself as a “writer who is passionate about my art and my life.” She said she chooses to share her experience of triumph over tragedy to help others. “I’m hearing of so many people killing themselves. If my story can save one life, it’s worth it for me to be this vulnerable,” she said. “I understand the pain, and I understand it more than most people because I’ve been there.” Jami Keller, who tried to kill himself when he was 13 years old, also has a message of hope for teenagers who are struggling with suicidal thoughts. His new book (due out this fall) is called Surviving the Age of Digital Narcissism: From Heartbreak to Truehearted. The book describes his own journey from a difficult childhood to becoming a relationship and forgiveness coach for the past 23 years with his wife, Marla. "I've used the skills that I've learned from the most painful parts of my life to help people," Keller says. "Our greatest strengths come from our greatest pain."

Suicide Prevention Resources The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: A telephone hotline funded by the U.S. government that provides free, 24-hour assistance. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, anytime, about any type of crisis. FALL 2018

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FALL 2018

“

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

SPECIAL SECTION:

Together we can change the world, just one random act of kindness at a time.” — Ron Hall

imagine a world

HALLE BERRY:

without domestic abuse By Dr. Shellie Hipsky Photography by Kevin Sheffield

The world knows Halle Berry as the breathtakingly beautiful Oscar award-winning actress. To the women at the Jenesse safe house for domestic abuse survivors, she is known as “Miss Halle.” In the August 2010 issue of Vogue Magazine, Berry explained to writer Jonathan Van Meter that, after the car accident that she left the scene of a decade ago, she was given “a $15,000 fine, three years’ probation, and 250 hours of community service.” She further stated to Vogue that they gave her a list of charities from which she could select for her community service, so she searched her heart. Berry explained, “Domestic violence is important to me because I grew up with it; my mother was a victim of domestic violence. And I saw the Jenesse Center, the oldest domestic-violence center in South L.A., and I thought, ‘That’s where I want to go.’” At the Wilshire Country Club, leaders from business, non-profit, media, entertainment, and government sectors were invited by Berry to attend The Imagine Cocktail Party. The goal of Imagine is to elevate the conversation around the topic of violence toward women, children, and men and advocate for the human right of peace in everyone’s homes, workplaces, and relationships. The event spotlighted organizations and individuals who have moved the mission forward to raise funds and bring awareness to the issue. They have provided funding and relief to survivors and use their voice to stop the cycle of domestic violence. Berry has personally stepped forward to remodel one of Jenesse Center’s transitional housing centers with her project What a Little Love Can Do. One of the apartments is for a family in need

and another she named after her daughter. In NAHLA’s WORLD, children can obtain new clothing, play games or read, have parties or play dates, be creative, and access therapy. Berry said that by “honoring the children in this way, I believe it lays the foundation for healthy mental development and a belief that they are worthy far beyond their circumstance.” She is actively seeking sponsors to help complete the renovations on the other spaces in the 15unit apartment building to continue to create beautiful functional living spaces for the women and their families to heal and regroup during their transitional time. Berry has stated, “One in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. This is why for 17 years I have worked with Jenesse first-hand to bring awareness to this life-ordeath cause. I am proud of the achievements we have made to heal women, girls, and families ravaged by violent homes and relationships.”

“

One in four women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. This is why for 17 years, I have worked with Jenesse ﬁrst hand to bring awareness to this life-ordeath cause. I am proud of the achievements we have made to heal women, girls and families ravaged by violent homes and relationships.”

FALL 2018

VOICES OF HOPE from Halle’s Imagine Cocktail Party HANIFA NAKIRYOWA AND KAREN EARL

A survivor of battery and acid violence inflicted by her ex-husband was honored by Jenesse by Halle Berry at the Imagine Cocktail Party. Hanifa Nakiryowa said, “As I lay in the hospital, rotting and seeing parts of my body fall off into the trash can, I promised myself to raise my voice against this form of abuse, to tell my story to save a woman’s life was a commitment I made to myself while in massive pain. To break the silence was what I had to do.” Nakiryowa, who was featured in the 2018 summer issue of Inspiring Lives Magazine with her emotional story of healing after horrific abuse further explained, “I am an acid attack survivor, the extreme form of genderbased violence especially perpetrated on women and children.”

Jenesse CEO Karen Earl said, “Hanifa Nakiryowa’s journey underscores the importance of legal services in helping survivors secure their freedom. “We first met Hanifa at one of our legal clinics when she came seeking help in applying for asylum. From that first meeting, the Jenesse team has been in Hanifa’s corner. Hanifa’s fierce courage is an inspiration to us all.” Earl continued, “Hanifa’s story is a triumph. We are so proud that she recently obtained her master’s degree and is living her best life with her beautiful little girls. Now they are enjoying the peaceful life that they deserve with a future so bright we can only imagine the wonderful things ahead.”

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MELODY TRICE

Melody Trice is a media personality and a television producer and host who has survived domestic violence herself. She urged other women who are in that situation to realize that they are not alone and they do not have to stay. Women need to see themselves as having unlimited life potential. As Trice explained to Purple Carpet Host Dr. Shellie Hipsky, “If you don’t take time to see who you are and value who you are, you can’t live the life you were predestined for.”

PETER LONG

Peter Long, Ph.D., the president and CEO of Blue Shield of California was also honored at the charitable fundraiser for Jenesse. Dr. Long stated, “We are all about improving health and well-being and keeping the violence from happening.” He understands that being proactive in potentially abusive situations is better for families than being reactive after the damage has occurred.

KAT TAT

Kat Tat from VH1’s Black Ink Crew: Chicago and the owner of Enigma Tattoo spoke to Dr. Shellie about her personal journey and why Jenesse’s work means so much to her, “I don’t consider myself a victim but a survivor. The Jenesse Center does amazing things to help women get out of those terrible situations. [The Halle Berry Imagine Cocktail Party] is a beautiful night to celebrate something positive out of such a negative experience.”

To learn more about Jenesse, visit www.jenesse.org. FALL 2018

www.leesakasslerdesigns.com

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FALL 2018

FASHION & BEAUTY

“

Fashion is the armor to survive the reality of everyday life. ” — Bill Cunningham

DESIGNER PROFILE: IAN HARGROVE

DESIGN for the

WELL-ROUNDED MODERN WOMAN Written By: Cori Wamsley Photography By: Dominique Murray

nspiration can be found anywhere. Designer Ian Hargrove’s collections are proof of that. His workspace is covered in boards for Hargrove to pin anything that catches his eye. ‘“I’ve always been very easily inspired,” Hargrove said. “I try to be open to inspiration by any avenue. I once did an entire collection that was predominately white, inspired by a black and white image of an albino peacock.” Hargrove focuses on designs for the well-rounded modern woman: versatile pieces that can be worn to a business event and then the jacket removed for cocktails that evening. They feature a mix of overthe-top expensive- and inexpensivelooking items, a “mishmash of nontrendy things to wear in a trendy way.” He describes his clients as “Hamptons hipsters” or “Lollapalooza VIP meets champagne at J. Parker.” Hargrove didn’t start out as a designer, though. His first love was painting. “I always had a paintbrush in my hand.” After his fine arts education, he specialized in live still contemporary portraits. “But I didn’t want to be a starving artist. My mom pushed me to look at fashion because it was more marketable.” He soon fell in love with fashion and did wardrobe styling for a year and a half. “I got tired of putting other peoples’ designs on models, though. I wanted to get my designs out there.”

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A nudge from Project Runway soon helped Hargrove become a household name. “A producer emailed me and said he was interested in my collection.” When Hargrove sent in his application, he immediately got a call to audition the next week. “They loved my collection. Then, they asked me to come the next day for a screen test.” Within 2 weeks, he received a contract for the show. Being on Project Runway wasn’t quite what Hargrove expected. Of course, “reality TV” is a really loose term. “No one wants to just watch people make clothes for 16 weeks.” So a lot of what they tape ends up cut. The results? You see characters instead of people, and they aren’t always portrayed in the best light. “I was painted as being bratty, and that’s just not me.” The crew creates a story to keep the audience interested. But what followed has been an amazingly positive experience! “Everyone from our season celebrates each other’s projects and helps each other. One contestant is from Milwaukee, which is near Chicago, where I live, and she invited all of us to do a charity fashion show. A lot of good has come out of this.” So what is Hargrove doing now? “I’m in the process of finishing my spring 2019 collection. Our fall looks were a big shift from what we did before. They were more detailed, and I’m continuing in that vein for spring. Everything is more intricate and one-of-a-kind.” For the fall collection (images featured here), Hargrove developed a unique lookbook to showcase the work. “Lookbooks are done digitally now, so we wanted to shoot the whole thing on an iPhone like friends taking pictures of each other using filters from Instagram and make a quality physical lookbook with the Zno app.” The results are outstanding and unique, just like Hargrove’s designs. Hargrove is also looking into contracts with stores and is doing custom work on the side, which can be seen at againstallodds.us or on Instagram at againstallodds_chicago. Because he wants to use his passion to help others, he is also working with charities like Art of Freedom, which fights human slavery and trafficking.

MODEL: TIHARA LATAÃ&#x2030;

MODEL: MARTHA BOLT

MODEL: NYAJJ LOK

FALL 2018

Clothing that Brings a

Modern Edge

to Everyday Practicality

for Kids

Written By: Cori Wamsley Photography By: Amy Reichenbach

“

Children have a voice too, and we need to be reminded of that.” That’s the idea behind much of Sarah Warner’s line Ba Ba Bling Kids. Brave. Fearless. Awesome. World-changer. These are the ideals that she wants children to believe about themselves, and she includes these phrases on many of the shirts and jackets. Warner hopes to empower the next generation.

t all started when she became an aunt. When her sister was pregnant, Warner struggled to find a modern baby gift that she liked, so she made some onesies and bibs. “I always had a passion for fashion. My grandmother was the seamstress of our family, and she taught me how to sew when I was growing up. I started designing baby clothing for my niece because no one was making the type of clothing I wanted to buy for her. After I made her first outfit, everything seemed to fall into place.” Everyone at her sister’s baby shower loved her gift, and she started taking orders from family and friends right away. “I realized that people really love my designs and are actually spending money on them,” Warner laughed. A short time later, Warner’s designs caught the eye of a Pregnancy and Newborn Magazine writer, and one of her infant onesies was featured in the magazine as a top holiday gift pick. “My sales exploded, and I started to receive requests from companies like Zulily. I decided it was time for a website at that point.” A couple years later, in February of 2014, she started selling wholesale. Warner does a lot of research and gets ideas from streetwear designs she sees in her hometown of Boston, Mass. She’s creative, too, designing lots of outerwear and interchangeable sweat suits. “I know the basic functionality of what different age groups wear, and I incorporate different trendy colors and patterns into my design to give kids something fresh and modern to wear that’s comfortable. We’re known for our cozy outerwear as well as our soft-as-butter interchangeable sweat suits.” “What drove me, and still does, is the feeling that I need to prove myself to myself. Lacking a formal design education will always be my Achilles heel, but also my greatest asset,” Warner said. “I had to teach myself every step of the way, from the ground up. I had no one guiding me, and I made mistakes over and over. I learned so much about myself and my business because of this.” For several years, Warner has been inspired by her niece to be creative in different ways. Something she noticed was that her niece was worried about how she looked, rather than just being excited about sparkles. “This is why I wanted to do a new collection to instill confidence in kids. Kids just want to go to school to learn and play with their friends, but they get bullied. I hope my clothing can help them combat the way that m a k e s them feel.”

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Many of Warner’s designs are active wear and outerwear, including bomber jackets and tees sporting inspiring phrases. They are fun and versatile too, with faux fur liners that zip out of the jackets in different colors. In the summer of 2017, Warner’s business plan majorly changed when she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. “I thought I would have surgery and jump right back into my business. I had the Children’s Club trade show scheduled in NYC for three weeks after the surgery, followed by the MAGIC tradeshow in Vegas and the New York Fashion Week Kids runway show. Immediately after my surgery, though, I realized that I had to put my health before business.” She pulled out of all three shows and focused on recovery. “Normally I’d soldier on, but I had no choice. I HAD to physically recover. My family and friends even told me to slow down.” Warner wants women to know that that’s ok. “We push ourselves all the time. Now, I take time for myself, and it’s important. As women, we tend to put ourselves last. We need to focus more on ourselves and putting our health first. If you are not 100%, nothing else in your life will be. Tony Robbins said, ‘Everything doesn’t happen to us, it happens for us,’ and I think the lesson I needed with this whole process was to give myself as much TLC as I give to other people in my life.” “I used to live on my phone, checking emails, texting people back within minutes of being contacted. But in reality, your business is not going to suffer if you put the phone down after 6 pm each night. When I practiced this, I realized how much I actually was missing. Now when I get together with family and friends, I either leave my phone at home or keep it in my bag. It helps me be more present and attentive.” For the first time, Warner allowed herself to say “no” to people and projects. “During recovery, I had to be more selective about how I used my time. It’s ok to say ‘no.’” And most people understand. Last summer, Warner scaled her business back so she only filled retail orders after her surgery. One of the things she learned is that giving back really matters to her. “I’m friends with other designers, and they aren’t just selling clothing. There’s a mission, and that inspires me.” For the winter season, Warner will be donating Ba Ba Bling to a national non-profit that offers clothing and accessories like backpacks and pencils to foster kids to help them feel brave, fearless, and strong as they move from home to home. “I’ve invested my heart in this. To be able to donate something I have a passion for means the world to me. Children have enough things to stress about, finding clothing and accessories should not be one of them.” About 120 retailers already carry Ba Ba Bling Kids clothes sized infant to tween, and they are also available on babablingkids.com. Check the website for a list of retailers.

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Style “

FASHION

WHEN

MEETS CHARITY By Cori Wamsley

We really wanted to emphasize that all women are beautiful.”

PHOTO: MICHAEL GOLTZ

“Fashion shows are a big draw,” Lisa Wagner Freeman said. “They are a great way to bring the public together.” Freeman has been the president of the REALTORS® Association of Metropolitan Pittsburgh’s RAMP Foundation (rampfoundation.com) for the past five years, three of which she has coordinated and led the Fashion for a Cause fundraiser for the group. “When I came onboard with the RAMP Foundation, the fundraiser was a chili cook-off. I don’t know anything about chili, so the next year, I made some changes.” For Freeman’s second year, she held a popup boutique, and the following year, she launched Fashion for a Cause. Freeman has been involved in the fashion industry for decades, which is why she leaned toward this for the fundraisers. She began modeling at age 16 for Pittsburgh area retailers like Gimbels, Horne’s, and Kaufman’s and eventually became a manager at Saks Evening Wear and later at Chanel. She was even selected as a top model for Gladys Magazine “I didn’t know I was in the competition until they notified me.” A friend’s daughter had submitted a picture with a description of what Freeman does. The top eight models were selected by magazine staff and featured in the magazine. “The other models were predominantly 18–20-year-olds, but I have grandchildren!” Freeman’s oldest granddaughter is 10 and actually modeled in Fashion for a Cause. This spring was the third annual Fashion for a Cause, which benefitted Emmaus Community of Pittsburgh (emmauspgh.org). The organization provides residential housing and care for adults with disabilities. “You wouldn’t know it was a group home. When I visited, there was a dog and pictures on the mantle. It felt just like a friend’s house, and the residents there are treated with respect and dignity.”

In that spirit, Fashion for a Cause this year focused on being inclusive. Two residents from Emmaus modeled in the show, and models ranged in age from 2–75 and in size from 2–36. “We really wanted to emphasize that all women are beautiful. When you make an event so inclusive, people bring their friends, and it becomes even more fun.” Proceeds from Fashion for a Cause go directly to the charity of choice that year, and the events are staffed with volunteers. These shows have raised $5k, $10k, and more for the charity of choice by year, respectively, boosting what these charities are able to accomplish tremendously. Freeman has also been the coordinator for the Garbage Bag Gala fashion show for the Salvation Army Caring Center for the last three years. A unique concept, the Garbage Bag Gala features designs made out of trash bags by area designers. Beyond her charity work and her career, Freeman also writes a style blog (styleexaminer.com) where she showcases and raises awareness of charities and events in Pittsburgh. FALL 2018

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WHAT'S IN YOUR BAG?

WINTER 2019:

comfort meets

Styled by Teri Lynn Woodruff, Creative Transformations Photography by Ryan Smas, B Squared Photo

This winter a blend of style and comfort will challenge us to give up our hibernating ways and put our best boot forward with these upcoming fashion and beauty trends. Next Level Layering Turn up the volume on classic layering with modest, high necklines, chunky woven fabrics, long skirts with stockings and tall boots. Wrap yourself up in an oversized coat, puffer jacket or flowing cape. 80â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Glam Revival The daring styles of the 80â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s will shake up the grey days of winter with vibrant colors, animal prints, black leather jackets, fitted jumpsuits, wide shoulders, sequins and the return of the powers suit. Go West The influence of the wild west has rolled into fashion houses from earthy warm tones, prairie dresses, patchwork, chunky metal belts and suede fringe.

1. Knit Floral Car Coat $199 MICHAEL TYLER COLLECTIONS

2. Effortless Hair System $99 MONAT

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3. Waterproof Smudge Stick in Moray & Vivid Amethyst $22 STILA

4. Clemence Tote in Shadow $128

CHRISTIAN LACROIX christian-lacroix.com

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style

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5. Studio Skin Hydrating Foundation $36

6. Cupio Cashmere Blend Duster in Gypsy Red $40

7. Lollypop Y Necklace in rose gold, crystal and pearl $129

8. Thelima Blue Sueded Booties $60

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SMASHBOX

VERSONA

SWAROVSKI

KELLY & KATIE

5. 7. Sultry Style Expect a dreamy evening out in a silk, nightgown dress or pajama inspired pantsuit. Complete this look with a

fitted smoking jacket.

A Future So Bright High shine foil-like metallic fabrics and sparkling sequins will give a nod to fashionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s future. Statement Piece Oversized jewelry with multicultural and natural influence will leave an impression. Consider long layered necklaces with pearls, semi-precious stones, detailed costume jewelry or a zodiac inspired pendant. Be bold with large, geometric, dangling or mismatched earrings. Bracelet styles will range from ornate cuffs, bangles and delicate thin chains with crystals and beads Pick Your Blend The makeup trends for 2019 offer something for everyone. Balance is key whether your style is dramatic or neutral. Bold contouring will be replaced with softer highlights, subtle eye makeup and foundation. Go mod with vivid colored eye shadows, liners and mascara paired with understated cheeks and neutral lip shades of matte, mauve, tan or caramel. Pair muted skin foundation and eye makeup with statement lips of blush, magenta or deep burgundy. This winter we can seek great style and remain protected against the elements... consider comfort restored.

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PHOTO: JOHN COLOMBO

What was at one time forbidden is now normal. It’s so nice to know that, today, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” has become, “We are all beautiful.” This fall, fashion continues to show how genders neutralize and blur lines with clothing: ladies are wearing classic men’s suits (modified of course) with men wearing feminine colors as mainstream. This translates into a lot of flexibility with hairstyles this fall. Expect hairstyles (across all genders) to go from straight hair to textured waves and curls. Braids, space and zulu bun sets, or classic larger iron and flat iron ribbon waves create amazing texture. However, if you are ready to commit, soft texture perms or a classic rod to roller placement perm-wave is the way to go. For color, reds fade into coppers, and brunettes fade into lighter chocolate browns, as well as shimmering rich coppers and chestnuts. However, blondes are both warm and cool. This fall, look for styles like these inspirations from around the world, created by our partners at Kaaral International.

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FALL 2018

IN THE ZONE

FASHION

with

Emilio Cornacchione & Gino Chiodo

Engagement Season is here. Is your life ridiculously busy with work, home, family, and more? Do you just want to be present and enjoy being engaged?

im is a beautiful hard-working woman who is full of life. She works as a fitness trainer from 4am to 6pm and then makes a homemade meal nightly for Dr. Gary, a chiropractor. They are always working. When Gary popped the question and Kim said “yes,” overwhelm quickly set in. She kept telling Gary that she wanted this to be like a winter wonderland during Christmas with all her family and Old World German traditions, but there was so much to do in five short months that she was barely able to keep it all straight. She needed help keeping organized and on track to accomplish everything she desired. That’s when I met Gary. I was speaking at a networking function, and afterward, he approached me and said, “I want to hire you for my fiancée.” Kim and I met and hit it off immediately. We began creating their reality with our all-inclusive Cinderella Package, our most popular. Soon, the frazzled feelings dissipated. From estimating a budget to choosing vendors that were compatible with their style to the final timeline, I explained everything that would happen. I assured her that she didn’t need to worry. I would keep track of everything so she could enjoy her life. In the next few months we met several times, each time fitting a few more pieces of their wedding design to complete the whole puzzle. I negotiated the best deals and shared my

discounts with them. Kim and Gary really began to relax, laugh, and joke, and were extremely happy with how smoothly everything was going. Less than 3 weeks prior to the wedding, we ran into a small glitch. One of Kim’s clients let her know that there would be a lot of kids in the ballroom next to ours. I called to confirm, and it was true. We were planning an adults-only wedding, but a few hundred kids would be right next door. Kim tried to handle the issue herself but was put on hold, and she wasn’t sure how to get this resolved. But I knew exactly who to call because of my 19 years’ experience, so I directly called them and created a new reality, one that made my couple happy! Together we made their Old World, family-oriented wedding a dream come true.

What is your reality?

Schedule a personal consultation today.

Tonya Edinger Concierge Planner 724-968-7135 Weddingsofpittsburgh.com

PHOTO: NICK AND MARZENA PYTEL

PHOTO: NICK AND MARZENA PYTEL PHOTO: RICHARD BREYMEIER

PHOTO: NICK AND MARZENA PYTEL

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FALL 2018

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TURNINGS

MODEL: JOCEYLN DAVIS | PHOTO: TABITHA BOWMAN

“

As we all know, there is inner beauty and outer beauty. If we examine inner beauty, to me there is nothing more beautiful than inner peace, in a man or a woman.” — Alice Greczyn

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at the

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