celebrating canada’s lgbt LIFESTYLE | August 2015
TRAVEL EUROPE BY TRAIN A DOCTOR’S HEALTH ALERT
GROOMING KEEPING COOL IN THE DOG DAYS LOVE ACROSS CULTURAL LINES
RURAL ROMANCE Fashion Inspired by the Countryside
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T:7.875� S:7�
Meet the newest member of our big Italian family.
The all-new Fiat 500X is here, with four doors, seating for five and available all-wheel drive.
*FIAT, ABARTH and the scorpion design are registered trademarks used under license by FCA US LLC.
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MAGAZINE inmagazine.ca PUBLISHER Patricia Salib EDITOR Jim Brosseau Art director Nicolรกs Tallarico FASHION DIRECTOR Adam Webster CONTRIBUTORs Paul Gallant, Ruth Hanley, Dr. Malcolm Hedgcock, Tracy Howard, Adrienne Jordan, John Narvali, Michael Pihach, Al Ramsay, Adam Segal, Riley Stewart, Casey Williams ON the cover Photography by Adam Webster; styled by Kenisha Paranso & Nagham Cararah; Tyshia Morris, assistant stylist; Megan Victoria, grooming. Photographed on location at the Robley farm, Horseshoe Valley Senior Account Director Woodrow Monteiro sponsorship co-ordinator Matthew Fuller DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Reggie Lanuza Controller Miki Ogiri OUR MISSION Inspire gay men and lesbians to live life to the fullest. Expand the gay and lesbian community by valuing diversity and individual choice. Celebrate Canada. Provide readers with compelling news, information and entertainment. ADVERTISING & OTHER INQUIRIES 416-800-4449, ext. 100 info@intorontomag.com EDITORIAL INQUIRIES 416-800-4449, ext. 201 editorial@intorontomag.com PRODUCTION ads@intorontomag.com TALK BACK Feel free to share your comments on IN or articles in the magazine by emailing us at editor@inmagazine.ca. IN Magazine is published 12 times per year by The Mint Media Group. All rights reserved. 182 Davenport Rd., Suite 300, Toronto, ON, M5R 1J2
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Contents INFRONT
travel
06 | FITNESS PROFILE Finding his voice through sports
16 | ALL ABOARD Rediscovering some European charmers by train
08 | ON RELATIONSHIPS An emotional balancing act 09 | MONEY$TYLE Tips to help you go big for a cause 11 | WHEELS Land Rover’s crossover goes the distance 12 | THE DOCTOR IS IN Are we worrying about the wrong things?
august 2015
FEATURES 22 | I CHOOSE YOU Finding love with the proper “stranger”
Fashion 26 | COUNTRY CHIC Style setters down on the farm
13 | ON THE TOWN Scenes from the party circuit
Art & Culture
14 | LOOKING GOOD Grooming tips for a cooler summer
34 | FLASHBACK Who’s the jock now?
15 | iNSIGHT Biking for a better world
issue 63
26
16 inmagazine.ca
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Fitness Profile
SASCHA Hass Profession Co-founder and creative partner of Boltz & Hase, Design Studio, www.boltzhase.de Role Models My entire family, especially my sister—the person I admire and look up to Ways You Overcame Any Anti-Gay Prejudices Coming out was not very difficult for me. My parents, family and friends haven been very supportive and welcoming of my partner into the family. I am so grateful to be living in a place that is so open and supportive of LGBTA rights. Advice to Young People on Overcoming Biases in Sports Stay true to yourself, focus on your goals and don’t let anybody destroy your passion. Personal Fitness Goals To bring my best to every sport activity in which I participate. If I reach my goal, I push myself to achieve that little bit more. Never stand still! Fitness Strategy I focus on a healthy lifestyle, am active in a variety of sports activities, and I work out regularly to maintain a good physique, so that I can be as good as I can at my sport. Hobbies Beach volleyball, snowboarding, running and gymnastics. I am also interested in the art and design scenes. Inspiration Source The people around me and their personal success. To see my family, friends and colleagues achieving their goals makes me proud and inspires me to do as well as they do or even better. Best Life Lesson So Far I try to learn from my failings, acknowledge my limitations and set realistic goals for myself.
Photography by Riley Stewart
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INfront
collective wisdom for living well
inmagazine.ca
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INFRONT
O n Re l at i o n s h i ps
It’s Not Just You → Depression’s sad toll on a partner’s well-being By Adam Segal
I’m writing with what feels like a complicated question. My partner of four years really struggles with depression. I’ve known about this since early on in our dating. I felt compelled to write you now because over the past few months, he’s not really leaving the house or speaking with friends or family. We spend all of our time together at home, because that’s where he’s comfortable. I’m beginning to feel cut off from people and activities that are really important to me. I’m pretty worried about him, and I’m also feeling quite stuck in this rut alongside him. I have made suggestions for how he might be able to get better—exercising, making social plans, therapy (to name a few), but he shoots them all down. So I’m left adapting to his lifestyle. How can I shake him up and get him to see that he’s giving up and pulling us both down? Roger
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Dear Roger: Depression is a particularly agonizing state, and it is easy to feel compassion for your guy. For people who don’t have experience with depression, it can be hard to understand how someone can seem so utterly paralyzed by it. Your attempts at yanking your fellow out of his state are well-intentioned. But asking a depressed person to snap out of it is like asking a personality like Kanye West to show more humility; it’s just not going to happen. Most important, your partner needs to feel that you empathize with his struggle and are there to support him. But having compassion doesn’t mean being muzzled. His depression is not really your problem to solve and can’t ultimately be your responsibility to resolve. However, you do have a responsibility to be transparent about the impact of his low mood on you and your satisfaction level in the relationship. The more frank you can be about your concern, the clearer the message can be received. Longstanding depression can be a harrowing experience and usually demands a combination of outside supports. Tell your
guy that you are there to cheerlead as he works toward healing, but make sure that you aren’t working harder than he is. What role is he willing to play in finding his way to a better emotional state? Does he recognize how his depression affects you and your connection to each other? Sustained change will be up to him, and you can’t compensate for the self-care that he is neglecting. The worst thing you can do is match his depression and mimic his sedentary existence. Taking care that you are getting fulfilled is essential, so that you don’t also get pulled under the wave of his blues. It takes energy to live alongside a person who is facing depression. If you limit your world to the size of his shrinking one, you will be setting yourself up for resentment and a flat-lined relationship. By making sure you are filling your energy tank with meaningful activities and relationships, you’ll be there to see this through.
Adam Segal, writer and therapist, works in private practice in downtown Toronto. Ask him your relationship or mentalhealth question at relationship@inmagazine.ca.
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INFRONT
MONEY$tyle
Grasping Philanthropy → When generosity becomes much more ambitious than writing a cheque By Al Ramsay here are so many heart-
T
Although tax savings may not
wrenching problems that
be your primary motivation, it
are depicted in the media.
makes sense to maximize that
In reality, you aren’t expected
savings. If you choose to donate
to help every cause you come
directly to a registered charity,
across. But some of the most
you’ll receive a tax credit when
effective donors develop a phil-
filing your annual return.
anthropic plan, and devote their
It should be noted that you
money and energy to a few spe-
don’t “make money” on chari
cific causes important to them.
table giving. For example, for
Historically,
“philanthropy”
every dollar donated beyond $200,
has been the domain of the
an individual in Ontario receives a
wealthy. It’s important to distin-
federal and provincial tax credit
guish it from charitable giving,
equal to 46 cents. Further tax
which can be as simple as writing
breaks are available if you donate
an annual cheque. Philanthropy
stocks, bonds or mutual funds
is an exchange of values that
that have increased in value as
results in a donation. It’s an
the capital gains from the deemed
investment in a cause and giv-
disposition of the securities elimi-
ing to a solution, and often represents a longer-term commitment. The charities one selects benefit from a steady, engaged donor, and the donor benefits from a
→ GOOD WORK The LGBT Giving Network honours TD’s Community Relations VP Scott Mullin. TD colleagues (back row, from left) Theresa Tosh, Amy Hanen, Nik Tumanovs, Vitaly Soldatenko and Andre Lucas; (front row, from left) Lysa Lapointe, Rupert Hon, honouree Mullin and Al Ramsay.
identified address your values.
nated. Donations during your lifetime may be claimed up to 75 percent of your net income, and any excess may be carried forward for
donations. What percentage of
five subsequent years. Regardless
greater sense of involvement and
STEP 3 Decide whether you
its funding goes to administra-
of who made the donation, either
satisfaction. You need to under-
want to support local, provincial,
tive expenses and what percent-
spouse or common-law partner
stand your goals and objectives
national or global causes.
age to the end user of its services?
may claim it.
and then research your options
STEP 4 Do your research.
Bear in mind that administrative
Thinking strategically about
to determine what’s right for you.
Fortunately, the Internet can
costs are a necessary burden for
your giving is the point, not the
And, like a financial plan, the
cover a lot of ground, with many
the provision of services. Ask if
size of your gift. Indeed, many
charitable plan will change with
terrific websites. One is www.
the charity is keeping those costs
wealthy
life’s events, meaning it should
charityvillage.com. You can input
under control. For help research-
Bill Gates and David Geffen, have
be reviewed and updated period-
causes and geographic regions,
ing a charity’s financial strength,
applied their business acumen to
ically. For those who don’t know
and it will provide a list of char-
visit www.charityfocus.ca.
philanthropy. But you don’t have
where to start, here is a simple
ities in those areas addressing
STEP 6 The final step: Talk to
to be a celebrity tycoon to be suc-
six-step process:
those causes. Of course, most
the charity. Most have gift-plan-
cessful at giving back. In fact, you
charities today will have their
ning professionals on staff who
may establish your own founda-
own sites.
can be instrumental in the plan-
tion with as little as $10,000 (for
ning process.
more information, visit www.
STEP 1 Identify the values important to you in everyday life. What are the causes you care
STEP 5 Do your due diligence
about most or that have most
just as you would when consider-
affected
Examples
tdwealth.ca/privategiving). Feel free
ing an investment. Request cop-
brings together organizations in
to contact Jo-Anne Ryan, vice presi
could include such things as fam-
ies of annual, audited financial
cultivating and engaging donors
dent, Philanthropy, TD Wealth, at
ily, justice, dignity, etc.
statements. Find out who’s on
to secure leadership gifts and
joanne.ryan@tdwealth.com.
STEP 2 What causes engage
the board of directors. Examine
long-term support for building
you: issues related to children,
how much support the char-
stronger Canadian LGBT commu-
the environment, animals? Ask
ity receives from government
nities (visit www.lgbtgivingnet-
yourself if the causes you have
and how reliant it is on personal
work.org for more information).
life?
LGBT
Giving
including
Network
your
The
individuals,
Al Ramsay is TD Bank Group’s regional manager, LGBTA Business Development. Follow him on Twitter, @AlRamsay_TD. inmagazine.ca
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21/07/2015 11:22:42 AM
INFRONT Wh e e l s
Affordable Pedigree → Driving made memorable in a sporty Land Rover crossover By Casey Williams
M
y husband slid into the Discovery Sport and said, “So, which Range Rover is this?” A long conversation ensued wherein I explained it’s not a Range Rover (that’s a model), and the Discovery Sport is Land Rover’s mid-size crossover. He’s still confused, but there’s nothing confusing about why drivers will find splendour with this sportier choice. Discovery Sport fits between the Range Rover Evoque and Range Rover Sport, taking a shape that separates it from both. There’s an obvious family connection with the high grille, “DISCOVERY” lettering across the hood, 19-inch alloys and LED signature lighting. But the sleek body with forward-canted C-pillar is distinctive. Styling is bang-on, prepping owners for a life of up-front parking privileges and sidewalk envy. I’d ride inside to the four corners of the earth, sniffing
orgasmic leather and soaking sunlight from the full-length sunroof. I suspect that the airconditioning would freeze your wits even in the Sahara. Front and rear heated seats, heated steering wheel and the 250watt stereo with subwoofer soothe souls. The infotainment system with touch screen looks nice, but it’s not easy to use. There is no tuning knob, so you browse stations by typing them or stumbling with the “seek” button. Still, there are multiple USB and power ports, so connecting iThings is simple. You might think that a mid-size crossover—2.0-litre, four cylinders—would barely climb a steep driveway. Yet the little turbo engine delivers 177kW/240 horsepower— routed through a 9-speed automatic transmission with Normal, Sport and Manual modes. The throttle delivers, as only knee-jerk reactions keep
2015 Land Rover Discovery Sport Five-passenger, AWD Crossover Powertrain: 177kW/240hp 2.0-litre Turbo-4, 9-spd auto trans Suspension f/r: Ind/Ind Wheels: 19”/19” alloy f/r Brakes: disc/disc fr/rr with ABS Must-have features: Performance, Pedigree Fuel economy: 11.9/9 litres/100km city/hwy Assembly: Halewood, U.K. Base price: $41,490
passengers from having neckjerk reactions. Articulate knees gently to see 11.9/9 litres/100km city/hwy. It is also capable of ditching pavement as it offers Land Rover’s Terrain Response System, which adjusts the powertrain for General driving, Snow, Mud and Sand. The system adjusts all-wheel drive, traction control and rear differential to keep this wagon hauling. The Land Rover Discovery enters a segment crowded by the Acura MDX, Mercedes GLK,
GMC Terrain, BMW X3 and Audi Q5, but it offers luxury and pedigree beyond compare. With a base price of just $41,490, I suspect they’ll sell heaps.
A contributing writer for Gaywheels.com, Casey Williams is a frequent business traveler to Montreal. He contributes to the New York-based LGBT magazine Metrosource and the Chicago Tribune. He and his husband live in Indianapolis, where Williams contributes videos and reviews to wfyi.org, the area’s PBS/NPR station. TALK BACK Feel free to share your comments on IN or articles in the magazine by emailing us at editor@inmagazine.ca. in m a g a z in e . c a
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IN front
the doctor is in
Good Fear, Bad Fear → Exploring medical concerns that needlessly scare us, and a few that should By Dr. Malcolm Hedgcock
I
t’s fascinating how the things we often worry about can be so out of proportion to the actual danger they represent. Take Ebola. The hysteria here in North America about an out break that was concentrated in West Africa was a tad excessive. So I decided I’d share two of the things that I feel my patients worry too much about—and then pres ent two things that actually deserve their concern. Let’s begin with toxins. Info mercials have done a fabulous job at training us to believe that our blood and bowels are full of vicious critters, determined to make our lives miserable. The
not warranted. It has clearly been
ics leads to resistance, meaning
illness. Be honest with your doc
truth is that our bodies are incred
established that vaccines do not
people are getting sick with bac
tor about taking medication. There
ibly efficient at processing and
cause autism, to take one. We can
teria that are no longer killed by
are ways we can help make it eas
eliminating unnecessary chem
safely put that one to rest.
our current drugs. The frighten
ier for you to stick to your regimen.
icals and environmental expo
While some vaccines do con
ing thing is that there aren’t any
It also provides an opportunity to
sures. Things like cleanses and
tain preservatives such as form
great drugs on the horizon to fall
review your medication and make
herbal detoxifiers are unlikely to
aldehyde, the concentrations are
back on. This is a major world
sure that what you’re taking is still
improve on this system and may
so incredibly low that even after
wide issue, but we can all do
the best choice.
in fact cause harm.
70 years and millions of doses,
our part by questioning whether
So there we have it—a few
I’m not denying the existence
there is no indication that they
every antibiotic prescription is
small things that in my opin
of toxic chemicals: Lead, mer
cause disease. Even as adults we
really necessary. I promise you:
ion deserve a shift in priority. It’s
cury and radon are well defined
can benefit from routine vaccina
Doctors are not evil gatekeepers
interesting to hear about the dis
and measurable. But spending
tion, and I encourage you to make
taking pleasure in denying you a
eases people fear most: rabies,
time and money trying to rid your
sure yours are up to date.
cure for your most irritating cough!
dementia, cancer. Often my job
body of nebulous, hidden “toxins”
My suggestion is that we
On the flip side, if you do get
involves reassuring patients that
is pointless and won’t reverse the
turn our attention away from
a prescription for an antibiotic,
these scary things aren’t actually
damage done during your last
the above problems to focus on
it’s incredibly important to take
the problem. I think it’s impor
party weekend.
some important emerging issues.
it properly. This brings me to my
tant that we objectively inves
Vaccine-related toxin terror
The first is antibiotic resistance.
final concern: medication adher
tigate those things that we fear
has been in the news for a while
I understand how frustrating it
ence. Studies suggest that peo
and question the validity of the
now and brings me to my next
is to be sick. As a doctor, there’s
ple take only 50 percent of their
information we receive, whether
point. Vaccines are safe, reliable
nothing that I’d like to do more
medication correctly. This can
it’s from a friend, the Internet or
and exceptionally effective. While
than to cure bronchitis or a per
be because of side effects, com
even your doctor!
I completely agree with question
sistent sinus infection. But the
plicated medication schedules or
ing the quality and safety of any
fact is that many infections we
people who simply do not under
thing someone injects into their
encounter are viral in nature and
stand why their medication is
body, I can quite comfortably say
just don’t respond to antibiotics.
important. All of that can lead to
that worry over vaccine safety is
The improper use of antibiot
a massive amount of preventable
Dr. Malcolm Hedgcock is a Torontotrained family doctor living and working in Vancouver. He has a special interest in gay men’s health issues, including the primary care of those living with HIV and AIDS.
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21/07/2015 11:42:45 AM
INFront
on the town by Michael Pihach
4
The Massive Party at the AGO
1
2
3
5
7
6
Photography by John Narvali
Starry Night at Barbara Hall Park
87
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ELTON JOHN AIDS FOUNDATION FUNDRAISING BRUNCH
10
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→ 1. Irving Garten 2. Francis Zih 3. Lily Frost, David Tiviluk 4. Joy and Rose 5. Terry Becker, Tim Dunn, Doug Wilton 6. Trixie Mattel, Billy L’Amour 7. Ivory Towers, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Kathleen Wynne, Panti Bliss 8. Michelle Ross, Mayor John Tory 9. Mathieu Chantelois, Maura Lawless 10. Salah Bachir, David Furnish 11. Mathieu Chantelois, Charles Radcliffe, Celina Jaitly 12. Scott Campbell 13. Christopher Bunting, Nada Ristich inmagazine.ca
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21/07/2015 11:44:09 AM
INFRONT
Looking Good
Cool It! → Uncovering products that help you stay fresh is no sweat By Tracy Howard
W
hat’s not to love about summer? Well, maybe that less-than-fresh feeling you’re left with at the end of a sticky day. But there’s no reason to go through the season feeling like a damp dishcloth. Check out these products designed to help you stay refreshed from head to toe:
COOL HEAD Want to energize your morning or revive after a long day? Instead of just washing your hair, give yourself a scalp treatment by using fingertips to massage shampoo into your head for at least a minute. This also thoroughly cleans hair, which can get oilier in summer. Amplify the rejuvenating effect with new OGX Scentuals Intensely Invigorating Eucalyptus Mint Shampoo and Conditioner, which use paraben- and cruelty-free blends of eucalyptus extract, mint extract and tea tree oil to soothe the scalp. ($9.99 each, launching this summer at Walmart, Shoppers Drug Mart, Loblaws and Jean Coutu stores)
OUT WITH THE ODOUR Sure, you want to leave a strong impression, but not when it comes to smell. Staying fresh can be a challenge when things turn hazy, hot and humid. It calls for a deodorant to do its job from the a.m. commute to getting your groove on in the wee hours. Jack Black Cool CTRL Natural Deodorant includes antifungal and antibacterial ingredients, such as zinc salt and grapefruit seed extract, plus time-released technology to help block odour for up to 24 hours, while eucalyptus adds a cooling sensation. But the deodorant’s coolest feature may be that it offers heavy-duty protection without the use of aluminum, parabens or colorants. ($20, at getjackblack.ca)
SHOWER POWER Make your shower even more refreshing with a cooling shower gel. Nivea for men Cool Kick Shower Gel features icy menthol and a fresh scent that will give both body and hair that squeaky-clean feeling. ($5.99, at major drugstores, pharmacies and mass-merchandise stores)
MAGIC MIST Whether the office air conditioner is on the fritz, things are getting steamy at the beach or you just need an afternoon pick-me-up, Saje Cool Spray Refreshing Mist can provide relief. With essential oils of peppermint, eucalyptus and basil, this spray can be used on the face and body to help you cool off even when it’s hotter than Ryan Gosling. ($14.95, at Saje Natural Wellness stores and saje.ca)
Tracy Howard is a writer and editor specializing in lifestyle topics. She’s the creator of beautyinthemiddle.com, a blog that takes an inside-out approach to looking good and feeling good at any age.
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21/07/2015 11:45:18 AM
INFRONT
insight
Well Spoken
qlix Studioz
→ PWA’s annual bike rallies keep on pedalling a winning form of fundraising
W
ho says the fun of
This summer’s race—with its
raiser first-hand. “It was very lei
its rewards aren’t limited only to
riding a bike can’t
400 riders covering 600 kilo
surely in the early years,” con
those who have superior physical
also be an opportu
metres in six days—was sched
tends Zehr. “We stopped for every
prowess.
nity to raise money for an impor
uled to have run from Toronto to
Popsicle stand. A lot of guys rode
Just ask veterans of the race.
tant cause? Certainly not the
Montreal. Over its storied history,
with their shirts off. But people
“From the training rides, to fund
thousands of cyclists who have
the rally has attracted numer
got more into cycling, having the
raising, to the conversations with
been a part of Canada’s Friends
ous repeat cyclists, including its
right bike and wearing the right
dedicated riders, crew, family and
for Life rally at various points
2015 chair, Allan Hooey, now in
jerseys. You’d never see anyone
friends, every interaction makes
since it began in 1999.
his ninth year with the event.
now with his or her shirt off!”
me proud to be involved in such
The rally serves as the pivotal
“As the years passed, I quickly
What you would see—among
fundraising event for The Toronto
learned how important PWA is to
both the cyclists and those who
an
Hooey. “Over the years, I have
incredible
journey,”
says
People With AIDS Foundation
the community at large,” Hooey
cheer them on along the route—
had the opportunity to volun
(PWA). Over the years, it has
says. “Understanding what a dif
is the sort of enthusiasm that
teer, work and ride with some of
helped raise more than $12 mil
ference PWA makes in the lives of
attends any unifying cause. Put
the most devoted people I have
lion. Its coffers supply the life
PHA’s and their friends and fam
more poetically, the rally’s co-
ever met, and I look forward to
blood for a host of services for
ilies is why year after year my
lead, Billy Axelrod, calls it “the
an amazing year ahead. Together
people living with HIV and AIDS.
involvement grows.”
magic of the event.”
we can make dreams come true—
In 2014, the group was able to
He’s not alone. Some have par
Indeed, magic might be what
provide upwards of 63,000 indi
ticipated for as many as 15 years,
it would take for even a hardy
one kilometre at a time!”
vidual services to those affected
including Darrel Zehr. They have
cyclist to get into shape for the
(For more information, visit www.bike
by HIV and AIDS.
observed changes in the fund
demanding, multi-day rally. But
rally.org or www.pwatoronto.org.) inmagazine.ca
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21/07/2015 11:46:10 AM
All
Aboard
Taking the train lends new harmony to a venerable European trio By Adrienne Jordan
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21/07/2015 11:46:39 AM
A
s seasoned travellers will tell
Start your journey in liberal Amsterdam, where
in the house where the Frank family was captured,
you, Europe in the summertime—
the multitudinous Omafiet and Bakfiet bikes
and you’ll likely see a lineup wrapped around the
or at any other time of the year—
outnumber the people. If the mayor and local
corner for this poignant landmark.
can best be explored by train. The
celebrities choose this eco-friendly way of getting
One simply cannot leave Amsterdam without
undulating countryside, the farms
around, why shouldn’t you? Rent some wheels
experiencing the diverse nightlife for the gay
and historic towns press up against your window
with MacBike, and explore the landscaped parks,
traveller. Take De Trut, an underground LGBT-
as you make your comfortable way from one
the infamous Red Light District and the coffee
friendly hipster party; Cafe t’Mangje, a historic gay
terminal to the next.
shops that sell legal marijuana.
bar filled with quirky memorabilia; or Serraine, a
Major cities can be conquered by train without
The lovely canals that push out lazy boat
night spot popular in the transgender community.
going through the hassle of airport customs. The
rides are bordered by picturesque 17th-century
For women, one of the most trendy bars is
Eurail Pass allows travellers a smooth transition
row homes and “dancing houses.” Shopaholics
Vivelavie, where lesbians from 18 to 80 flock
from city to city, providing a potential of unlimited
will drool at Amsterdam’s exclusive designer
to enjoy its air of intimacy. After a long night of
travel routes, business-class amenities, Wi-Fi
boutiques such as Denham the Jeanmaker and
partying, rest your head at the Hotel L’Europe, set
connections and access to 28 countries. And
Dominio. Some unforgettable attractions to visit
in the historic Rondeel building in Amsterdam’s
LGBT travellers will find much of the continent
using the “I Amsterdam City Card” include the
centre. The hotel’s breakfast buffet is worth
just as hospitable as a favourite neighbourhood
Jewish Cultural Quarter, Houseboat Museum and
getting up for: signature cereals and fresh-pressed
restaurant back home.
Van Gogh Museum. The Anne Frank Museum is set
juices will jump-start your day.
1 8 I N M a g a z in e A u g u s t 2 0 1 5
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U
sing your Eurail Pass, hop on the Thalys
down the fashionable Rue des Francs-Bourgeois.
train and get from Amsterdam to Paris
No matter how many times you visit Paris,
→ ON TRACK A high-speed train on the Eurail system races through the Italian countryside (opening page). Amsterdam by night (opposite); the Place Dauphine in Paris (above).
in just three hours. To help make the
you’ll always find restaurants yet to be discovered.
most of your stay in The City of Light, book a
For first-timers, an excellent introduction into
room at the Relais Christine, built on the ruins
Paris’s culinary scene is L’Assaggio, located
an unlimited metro ticket. For newbies to this
of the 11th-century Austin Friars monastery. The
at the Hotel Castille. Elegant and quaint, it
romantic city, your checklist should include the
hotel is conveniently located in the romantic
represents the best of Italian dining in Paris,
Louvre, Centre Pompidou and Musee D’Orsay. New
Saint Germain-des-Pres neighbourhood, which
with such savoury dinner plates as braised beef
and veteran visitors should explore the hidden
provides a beautiful walk over to the Marais, the
pappardelle and barbeque mackerel. Francophiles
gems of Paris, such as Les Egouts des Paris (the
city’s gay-bourhood.
should opt for a blend of French and Asian fare
underground museum of the Paris sewer systems)
Sign up for a guided walking tour of the Marais
at La Bauhinia under a striking glass cupola, or
and the Museum of the Middle Ages, which takes
with David Downie (davidddownie.com), a friendly
lobster ravioli and sea bream dishes at Mandarin
you on a journey through the ancient Roman
American expat. Postcard-worthy scenes unfold
Oriental’s Camelia.
gardens and baths.
as Downie takes you to the Pont des Arts (the
Your best bet for hopping from one tourist
To conclude a busy day in Paris, try a massage
so-called “love-lock” bridge over the Seine); the
landmark to the next would be the Paris Pass.
at Le Royal Monceau’s spa, followed by a signature
footbridge to the downstream tip of Ile St Louis;
It allows you to enter countless museums and
cocktail at the hotel’s swanky Philippe Starck-
through the Marais’ gay and Jewish districts; and
other attractions for free, skip lines and obtain
designed Le Bar Long. inmagazine.ca
16 17 18 19 20 Europe.indd 19
19
21/07/2015 1:43:23 PM
Adrienne Jordan
B
ubbling mozzarella, crispy dough and
assassination). Perhaps the most extraordinary
fragrant tomatoes: Italy is calling your
part of his “Ancient Rome” tour is the chance
name. The next destination on your
to walk beneath the San Clemente basilica, an
European rail tour is Rome. Take the TGV high-
11th-century church that was built over two Roman
speed train from Paris and transfer to the La
buildings dating from the year 1 AD. Break up your day with lunch near the Spanish
Frecce in Milan. One of the many intriguing aspects of Rome is how you could be walking along modern streets brimming with commerce and unexpectedly come across an ancient archeological site or thousand-year-old
basilica.
To
digest all of these exciting scenes unfolding before you, sign up for a tour with Brit-guide Stuart Harvey (www.romepersonaltours.com), who transports you back in time
→ poised for rome Travelling to Rome from other European capitals by train can set the mood for exploring dramatic scenes like this view of the Vatican.
to sleep in view of the architectural phenom, the Colosseum, at the five-star Palazzo Manfredi. The
LGBT travellers find much of the continent as hospitable as a favourite neighbourhood restaurant back home.
hotel is optimally located across the street from the gay-bar-hopping Via San Giovanni in Laterano. Rainbow flags wave proudly above such LGBT-welcoming establishments as Coming Out, Bar Colosseo and L’800. Before a night on the town, reserve a table at the Manfredi’s Michelin-star restaurant, Aroma. Dining at the rooftop restaurant can lend a touch of magic to a Roman evening with its view of the sun
with his vivid imagery. Harvey’s “Squares and
Steps, where a meal at the Hotel Eden will get you
setting over the Colosseum and the lush Oppian
Fountains Walking Tour” will take you past the
panoramic views of Rome thanks to the floor-to-
Hill. You’ll be grateful for the train that brought
Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Piazza
ceiling windows.
you here.
Navona and Largo Argentina (site of Julius Caesar’s
When in Rome, LGBT travellers would do well
As the locals might say, Che bello!
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21/07/2015 1:43:57 PM
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2 2 I N M a g a z in e A u g u s t 2 0 1 5
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I Choose You Navigating the challenges, savouring the rewards of a cross-cultural relationship By Paul Gallant
B
orn in Venezuela, Douglas Peretz moved to Quebec in his teens, attended a French high school and met his
“French people can be dramatic in their own way,” Peretz contends. “Julian always has something to say about everything.”
partner, Julian Liurette, at Montreal Pride more than a
Cross-cultural connections are hardly rare. Same-sex couples in
decade ago. Liurette was born and raised in France to
Canada are twice as likely as opposite-sex couples to include people of
a Canadian mother and moved to Canada as an adult.
different ethno-cultural backgrounds. While 4.5 percent of opposite-
Now living together in Toronto, the border-straddling couple conform
sex couples are in “mixed unions,” according to Statistics Canada,
to at least a few well-worn cultural stereotypes: Peretz the Latino
that percentage jumps to 10.8 for same-sex couples.
is more spontaneous and jealous, Liurette the Frenchman is more rational and frugal. But the couple also transcend stereotypes.
22 23 24 25 Cultural.indd 23
But what little has been documented about same-sex mixed unions tends to focus on society’s supposedly negative attitudes
21/07/2015 12:08:48 PM
toward them (couples can report feeling that
sexual and romantic inclinations. But people who
communication—can often be overlooked, except
they are unsafe, judged or invisible) or in jaw-
connect across disparate backgrounds can tap into
by those who are in such relationships.
droppingly racist stereotypes. “Black males
something special. The enriching aspects of mixed
choosing white males as lovers tend to prefer the Middle European type (somewhat darker than the Nordic, with dark hair), and the southern European type (tending toward Italian and Greek features),” the academic J.E. Bush wrote in a 1981 paper called Color and Mate Selection. “White males tend to choose black males because of the cultural belief
“I never wanted to be with someone like me,” says Peretz, who was interested in French
People who connect across disparate backgrounds can tap into something special.
that black males are sexually more ‘lusty,’
cooking and culture even before Liurette came along; the excuse to visit family in Paris was more than welcome. Though both men speak English for work, they speak mostly French at home. Liurette, whose Spanish isn’t as strong as Peretz’s French, wasn’t too familiar with Venezuela before they met. Now he’s a fan, despite the political and economic problems the
that they are endowed with large genitalia, and
unions—the broadening of perspectives, non-
country is now facing. As Liurette puts it: “You go
that they tend to be more nurturing and caring.”
touristy travel opportunities, family bonds that
there and you feel a little more alive.”
Cultural stereotypes can play a part in our
may be a relief from one’s own, more conscientious
“In Venezuela,” adds Peretz with a laugh, “we’re
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21/07/2015 12:08:59 PM
like Bolivia, Spain and Sanchez’s home country
says Miljanic, “but I found him good-looking. He’s
of Colombia. The couple enjoyed their time in
very sweet and generous and accommodating.”
Medellín so much that Leong talks about buying retirement property there.
Miljanic’s blunt conversational style and dry sense of humour took some getting used to
Leong is the sort of Canadian who mixes easily
for Carvalho at first. “There’s a certain Eastern
with many cultures and backgrounds; a previous
European mindset that’s not so diplomatic,” he
partner was Turkish. But his family is much
maintains. Pretty much Canadianized, Carvalho
more traditional than Sanchez’s. Leong calls his
makes an effort to draw on his own culture; his
siblings not by their names but by their formal
cooking is spicy if not entirely Indian. He’s also
family terms—goh-go for older brother, jeh-je for
tried to embrace Miljanic’s. Certainly he’s more
older sister. Sanchez, well, Sanchez just calls his
excited about an upcoming trip to Serbia and
family a lot. “They’re so tight,” says Leong. “How
Croatia than Miljanic is.
do you talk to your mom three times a week? Your sister, your brother, your nieces, your nephew, the
“When the World Cup was on, I was all set to watch the Serbian team play,” says Carvalho.
baby who can’t even talk?” Neither of them is an enthusiastic cook, so no one cuisine
dominates
their household. But Sanchez has grown to appreciate dim sum, just as Leong has
gotten
used
to Sanchez’s taste for rice and beans. “I always thought rice and beans is something you eat in jail,” he jokes.
Miljanic,
The clarity and directness with which we had to speak to each other eliminated the passiveaggressiveness that can be toxic to relationships.
“The plantain, the
not
so much: “I didn’t really care.” Sometimes the obstacles in a
cross-cultural
relationship can
turn
into
rewards, as I have learned own
in
my
experience.
Years ago, when I
began
dating
a Mexican man living in Canada, I
worried
that
his weak English would drive me
plantain’s fine.”
crazy—and would
“My mother is a bit concerned that Wes did not
eventually drive us apart. Instead, the clarity and
believe in God,” says Sanchez, growing serious. “I
directness with which we had to speak to each other
didn’t say I didn’t believe in God,” Leong counters.
eliminated the passive-aggressiveness that can be
“My parents were anti-religious. That’s probably a
toxic to relationships. We could never fall back on,
Chinese thing. They were like, ‘Don’t get involved,
“You should have known what I meant.”
keep studying.’ ”
Research bears this out: Though couples in
For their part, Nelson Carvalho and Zak Miljanic
intercultural relationships are more likely to
met a decade ago, first at a party; then the next
report conflict, these couples, concludes a 2008
day when Carvalho was covered in silver glitter as a
study by Michael J. Reiter and Christina B. Gee,
backup dancer for a Pride show; and again at a gay
“were also more likely to indicate that discussion
always using words like ‘sweetie’ and ‘honey,’ and
club a few weeks later. “I was like, ‘Him again! He’s
of these differences facilitated relationship
I think Julian likes that.”
ignored me twice!’ ” Carvalho says with a laugh. His
maintenance. [Additionally,] results showed that
Wes Leong met Luiz Sanchez when friends
family, of Catholic Goan Indian origin, moved from
in intercultural relationships, higher levels of open
hosted a dinner to mourn the passing of Leong’s
Kenya to “the People’s Republic of Etobicoke,”
communication about culture and higher levels
pet cat. Born and raised in Calgary to first-
known to the rest of the country as “Rob Ford
of cultural support were related to lower levels of
generation Malaysian-Canadians, Leong spoke
Nation,” when Carvalho was a boy.
relationship distress.”
Cantonese growing up but had been learning
“The first time, I didn’t see anybody,” says a
Though some mixed couples are eager to
Spanish for fun when they met. “I said, ‘Whenever
shrugging Miljanic, who is noticeably taller than
enlarge their world through their relationships,
you want to practise your Spanish, let me know,’”
Carvalho. Born in the former Yugoslavia to mixed
others are not so globally minded. They see their
says Sanchez, who was born and raised in Bogota,
Catholic-Orthodox Serbo-Croatian parents, he
partners as simply their partners: men and women
Colombia. “Then he invited me for dim sum the
moved to Canada as an adult with his ex-wife and
whose upbringing, cultural habits and personal
next Sunday.”
daughter.
quirks are all indistinguishable from each other.
The practice that kick-started their relationship
“I do have a thing about Eastern Europeans,”
“I never think about the advantages of being with
has only gone so far; the couple mostly speak in
says Carvalho. “I like their looks, but I’m also
Douglas because he’s Venezuelan,” says Julian
English to each other, even when they travelled
interested in the history and the politics.”
Liurette. “He’s the main relationship I’ve had in
in the past year to Spanish-speaking countries
“I never thought that I was into Indian guys,”
my life, so what I see is him.” inmagazine.ca
22 23 24 25 Cultural.indd 25
25
23/07/2015 3:59:49 PM
26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Fashion.indd 26
23/07/2015 5:02:07 PM
COUNTRY CHIC
Fashion from the gentlemanly looks of the farm PHOTOGRAPHY BY ADAM WEBSTER Styled by Kenisha Paranso & Nagham Cararah Assistant Stylist: Tyshia Morris Grooming: Megan Victoria Models: Alex King, Dylon Chandler (Ciotti Models) & Cameron Geddes (Velocci) Photographed on location at the Robley farm, Horseshoe Valley
26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Fashion.indd 27
21/07/2015 12:10:27 PM
Opening Page (LEFT TO RIGHT) On Milan (left) On Dylon: Shirt: Wooyoungmi Jacket: Etro Shorts: Etro (available atEllis Holt Renfrew Shoes: Perry stores Canada) across (Shirt and shorts available at Polo:Renfrew Ralph Lauren Holt stores across Canada)
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on this page Jacket: Givenchy Shirt: Paul Smith Pant: Alexander McQueen (all available at Holt Renfrew stores across Canada)
21/07/2015 12:11:15 PM
On Cameron: Sweater: Givenchy Pant: Publish On Mark (left) Boots: Hugo Boss
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26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Fashion.indd 29
21/07/2015 12:11:52 PM
On Dylon: (Left) Jacket: Topman Shorts: Joe Fresh
Sweater: Saint Laurent
On Mark: (right) Pant: Publish Trunk: Shoes:JM John Varvatos
26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Fashion.indd 30
21/07/2015 12:12:22 PM
Polo: Givenchy (available at Holt Renfrew stores across Canada)
26 27 28 29 30 31 32 Fashion.indd 31
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21/07/2015 12:13:00 PM
On Dylon: Pant: Zanerobe Polo: Ralph Lauren Boots: Hugo Boss On Alex: Polo: Ralph Lauren Pant: Publish Boots: John Varvatos On Cameron: Polo: Ralph Lauren Pant: Publish Boots: Hugo Boss
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FLASHBACK AUGUST 1990 IN LGBT HISTORY
the jocks have it
W
hen the first Gay Games were held in 1982 in San Francisco, the world got to see what the LGBT community had always known: that athletic prowess was hardly the exclusive domain of heterosexual males. Not everyone was ready for such an out-and-proud event. In 1990—25 years ago this month—when Vancouver became Canada’s first host of the games, religious zealots and political conservatives loudly condemned them. Fortunately, cheers from those who came to support the more than 7,000 competitors were heard far above the cynics’ voices.
3 4 I N M a g a z in e a u g u s t 2 0 1 5
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