January / February 2025

VISIONARY VOICE: MELISSA ETHERIDGE

SAMER SALEM IS RIDING HIGH

QUEER SEXUAL JOY WITH JJ WRIGHT

COMING SOON

A little birdie told me.

Stock photo. Posed by model.

inmagazine.ca

PUBLISHER

Patricia Nicolas

EDITOR

Christopher Turner

ART DIRECTOR

Georges Sarkis

COPY EDITOR

Ruth Hanley

SENIOR COLUMNISTS

Paul Gallant, Doug Wallace

CONTRIBUTORS

Matthew Creith, Adriana Ermter, Shane Gallagher, Paul Hutnick, Elio Iannacci, Karen Kwan

VICE PRESIDENT OF DEVELOPMENT

Benjamin Chafe

COMMUNITY RESOURCE NAVIGATOR

Tyra Blizzard

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IN Magazine is published six times per year by Elevate Media Group (https://elevatemediagroup.co). All rights reserved. Visit www.inmagazine.ca daily for 2SLGBTQI+ content.

180 John St, Suite #509, Toronto, Ontario, M5T 1X5

ON THE COVER: Melissa Etheridge

PHOTOGRAPHER: Lauren Dukoff

You can watch Susan Shumba and Gabriel Jarquin’s inspiring conversation as they discuss their HIV journeys, addressing unmet needs, healthy living, U=U and reducing stigma. Visit inmagazine.ca/susan-and-gabriel.

Issue 122

January / February 2025

INFRONT

06 | GIVING BLOOD, GIVING VOICE: A CONVERSATION WITH DR. OMISOORE H. DRYDEN

IN sits down with Dr. Dryden to discuss blood donation barriers, her work fighting systemic racism in Canada’s healthcare system and her new book Got Blood To Give

08 | EDMUND WHITE: LOVES OF MY LIFE

Is it possible to write too much about sex?

Not for Edmund White, whose new book celebrates the best (and most meaningful) of his sexcapades

10 | SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH AN ANIMAL, HAVE FEWER WRINKLES

On top of all the love they offer, your furry family member may just be the ultimate antiaging secret

13 | SUGAR, SUGAR

The truth about the sweet stuff

15 | VIIV HEALTHCARE CANADA HOLDS ITS FIRST NATIONAL COMMUNITY SUMMIT ON HIV CARE

The summit, held this past October, was an important venue for discussing the challenges – and exploring the opportunities – facing HIV work across Canada

17 | 2SLGBTQI+ DAYS OF SIGNIFICANCE THROUGHOUT 2025

There are many days throughout the year that are significant to 2SLGBTQI+ communities. Mark these dates on your 2025 calendar and help increase awareness for your vibrant community

FEATURES

18 | ON MEKAHEL REFLECTS ON “LAST TIME”

His new dance anthem draws inspiration from the late great Avicii and his own personal growth

21 | GET CARTER: CARTER COLLINS

The boy next door gets kinky

24 | SAMER SALEM IS RIDING HIGH

We sit down with the queer Canadian heartthrob, who recently joined the cast of CBC’s hit police procedural drama, Allegiance – CBC’s most-watched new TV series

28 | VISIONARY VOICE

Melissa Etheridge opens up about her psychic songwriting, her transformative tour and the importance of recording queer history

34 | 14 OF THE BEST LGBTQ+ ROM-COMS TO STREAM FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

We take stock of the best queer rom-coms ever – from Fire Island and Love, Simon to But I’m A Cheerleader and The Thing About Harry

38 | 2SLGBTQI+ CONTENT THAT EVERYONE SHOULD SEE BEFORE AWARDS SEASON

As we inch closer to Oscar season, some awardworthy films might have gotten lost in the mix, so here are the crucial details on some of the queer content that will surely be part of the awards season conversation

42 | QUEER SEXUAL JOY WITH JJ WRIGHT JJ Wright’s ideas around queer and trans sexual joy dig a little deeper

44 | eSIM SMARTS

You and your phone can both go on vacation… and sidestep the dreaded phone provider roaming charges

46 | PAINTING THE SLOPES RED

RED Mountain is that inconspicuous yet toplevel ski resort you didn’t know anything about – until now

50 | FLASHBACK: FEBRUARY 9, 1971 IN 2SLGBTQI+ HISTORY

The first gay sitcom character appears on TV: Archie’s pal on All In The Family

GIVING BLOOD, GIVING VOICE:

A CONVERSATION WITH DR. OMISOORE H. DRYDEN

IN sits down with Dr. Dryden to discuss blood donation barriers, her work fighting systemic racism in Canada’s healthcare system and her new book Got Blood To Give

In a society still struggling with the legacies of systemic anti-Black racism and homophobia, Dr. OmiSoore H. Dryden, a Black queer femme and leading scholar, throws a spotlight on one particularly poignant topic in her new book, Got Blood to Give: Anti-Black Homophobia in Blood Donation. This meticulously researched work unravels the history of how discriminatory practices became woven into the fabric of Canada’s blood donation system, leaving a lasting impact on Black and Black 2SLGBTQI+ communities.

In this exclusive interview, Dr. Dryden shares the personal journey behind her 25 years of research, sheds light on the historical roots of discrimination in Canadian blood donation and offers a vision for a more inclusive future.

Got Blood To Give is a culmination of 25 years of research and hard work. Was there a specific event that sparked this journey?

I have been thinking and actively writing about Black and Black Queer and trans people, blood, and donation since 2000, but this book is not an end result. Working at York University during this time, I was involved in meetings between campus student organizations and university officials (such as the Office of Student Affairs) about the ongoing donor clinics held on campuses, including York University. In these meetings, it was revealed that Canadian Blood Services (CBS) relied heavily on university populations for blood donations and wanted to involve students at a young age (over the age of 17 in Ontario and the age of 18 in Quebec)

to create lifelong donors. Therefore, protesting on-campus blood donor clinics became an effective form of direct action; these protests obviously caught the attention of the blood agency and Health Canada. And the push to challenge the donor screening practices travelled to campuses across the country. This is where I began my unofficial research into donor practices in Canada. When I began my PhD studies is when I undertook my official research. This book is a cumulation of all that work.

Has there always been a history of discrimination in Canadian Blood Services?

Yes! In the 1940s, the Canadian Red Cross Society was responsible for blood collection. Under direction from the American Red Cross Society, all blood was segregated based on the perceived race of the donor to ensure that white recipients did not get blood from non-white people. This was far from scientific, but it was instituted as policy in order to produce a ‘safe’ blood supply. This lasted, as official policy, until the end of World War Two.

In the 1980s, the Canadian Red Cross Society, under increasing pressure from the US Centers for Disease Control (and without public consultation), created and released a pamphlet asking people who were considered to be at ‘high risk’ of getting AIDS to refrain from donating blood. The people they identified would come to be known as the 4Hs – ‘homosexuals,’ Haitian people (regardless of citizenship), heroin drug users and those with hemophilia. As could be expected, this was rightly met with outrage from gay

communities, Haitian communities and others. [Views on] sexual morality fuelled the stereotypes of this transmission. This was fed into by a puritan belief that sex was only for procreation, and sex for pleasure was lascivious and immoral. For this reason, among others, Black people and men who have sex with men (and Black men who have sex with men) were expected to take ‘ownership’ of and assume ‘responsibility’ for the virus by not donating blood. This ‘choice’ was presented as the only way to keep the blood supply safe. What we know is that the focus on perceived identity is not a reliable screening practice, and this did not prevent the tainted blood scandal from happening, nor did it minimize it.

There is just not enough room in this interview to delve into the anti-Black homophobia and transphobia embedded in early AIDS research, and it is important to state that some of this discrimination remains today..

Focusing on identity and not on behaviour or activities was a significant cause of the tainted blood crisis. CBS was formed in 1998, after the tainted blood crisis, and continued some of these questionable practices.

Why is it important to focus on the experiences of Black queer and trans people?

It is important to disrupt the single story of gay blood. Focusing on Black queer and trans people guides us in this disruption. Any deviation from the single or simple story is dismissed as subjective, not researched, or untrustworthy. How queerness, Blackness and racialization interlock becomes a critical factor in determining whether and how we understand a more inclusive blood system.

While gay activism was focused on having more gay blood included, it ignored whether Black queer and trans people could donate blood. It ignored the experiences of trans communities. What I’m offering in this book is a queer- and trans-inclusive activism, one where anti-Black racism is understood as also a queer issue, and not an adjacent concern that can be used as a comparator.

As I demonstrate in the book, ‘Black’ and ‘gay’ are often positioned as monolithic categories which can be compared but cannot exist in the same moment. And if we are Black queer people, we are asked for our loyalty – are we more queer than Black, or are we more Black than queer? And that is, to say it bluntly, a very racist question.

While CBS and some others would argue that the questions about African heritage were not about race, my research demonstrates that this is simply not the case. I would strongly suggest that folks check out the entire book, but especially Chapter 4, which gets into the weeds of how the questions about Africa were used and deployed in unscientific and anti-Black ways.

What ‘donor protocols’ would you like to see implemented to begin the correcting process?

My research focuses primarily on the systemic anti-Black racism and homophobia found in the narratives of HIV and AIDS transmission. I would like to see a blood system that worked more closely with AIDS activists, and all the work done around anti-racist safer sex practices, the positive effects of PrEP and PEP, and the efforts to

disrupt the social and structural determinants of health, specifically systemic anti-Black racism (and anti-Black homophobia).

There was a big push to have gay blood included in blood donation, but not one to have Black gay blood included. And this is important to note. As I demonstrate in the book, for much of the activism surrounding gay blood, the experiences of gay men were often compared to the experiences of Black people, specifically those in the United States. This does a few things, and it ignores the very real presence of Black queer and trans people in Canada, and our unique experiences.

A more inclusive anti-racist queer activism would address the interconnectedness of racism, homophobia and transphobia in the history of donation, instead of setting them up as a hierarchy. Collectively we are stronger and can produce more substantive change. This would include accountability from the blood operators, and a new way forward that is donor and recipient focused, understands the importance of a diverse donor pool, and [offers] the insights to engage in the difficult work of anti-racist equity –one that understands the importance of disrupting structural white supremacy and heterosexism – for the benefit of us all.

Dr. OmiSoore H. Dryden’s new book Got Blood to Give: Anti-Black Homophobia in Blood Donation is available in select bookstores across the country. For more information, visit www.omisooredryden.com.

Edmund White: LOVES OF MY LIFE LOVES OF MY LIFE

Is it possible to write too much about sex? Not for Edmund White, whose new book celebrates the best (and most meaningful) of his sexcapades

By Paul Gallant

Partway through his long, illustrious writing career, Edmund White, the towering figure of American gay literature, once wrote that he had had sex with about 3,000 men. “One of my contemporaries asked pityingly, ‘Why so few?’”

That’s a line from White’s latest work of non-fiction, The Loves of My Life: A Sex Memoir, his 32nd book, in which he draws portraits of some of his most memorable lovers and gives readers postcards of American gay life from the 1950s, when he first started fucking around, until the present loud and proud era.

If there was ever someone who would lose terribly at the game “Never Have I Ever,” it would be White. He started having gay sex at around age 11, with a boy his own age, and by his teens he was paying adult men for sex. When he was around 14 or 15, he initiated an affair with his mother’s boyfriend’s 18-year-old son, named Bob. The relationship emboldened him to come out to his mother. “While she was washing the dishes and I was drying, she said, ‘Dear, I’m thinking of marrying Mr. Hamilton.’ ‘Then,’ I shot back, “it will have to be a double wedding since Bob and I are lovers.’ I’d been reading Oscar Wilde.”

From the very beginning of his literary career, White has been submitting his sex life to the service of his fiction and non-fiction,

starting with the book that brought him to national attention, the 1982 novel Boy’s Own Story. He claims to have written “hot fiction” since puberty. But his sex scenes are often expressions of, or an intermission from, less embodied yearnings, including romanticized desire for love and friendship. That soulfulness didn’t stop the books from being titillating. The late American writer Larry Kramer went after White, denouncing his 1997 novel The Farewell Symphony “He parades before the reader what seems to be every trick he’s ever sucked, fucked, rimmed, tied up, pissed on or been sucked by, fucked by, rimmed by, tied up by…. Surely life was more than this, even for – especially for – Edmund White,” Kramer wrote in 1997 in The Advocate magazine. “He did not spend 30 years with a non-stop erection and an asshole busier than his toilet.”

White laughed about the controversy when I interviewed him by phone late last year. Now 85, and HIV-positive since the early 1980s, he’s outlasted most of his contemporaries, including Kramer. “Larry Kramer was saying, ‘We’re in the midst of the AIDS crisis and you mustn’t be writing about sex and its pleasures,” White told me. “I said, ‘Well, everybody dies from AIDS at the end of that book.’ Anyway, I don’t think young people need to read a $25 hardback of a book by a virtually unknown writer to find out they want to have sex. Larry Kramer and I ended up as friends, even though I rather detested his book Faggots.”

White’s new book uses his many sexual encounters as a method for skipping across the decades, forming a framework for musings on gay cultural life from the closeted 1950s to the hedonistic (if you were living in the right cities) ’70s to the AIDS decades of the ’80s and ’90s to the new hedonism of the PrEP era.

White spoke with me from his home in New York City, where he lives with the writer Michael Carroll, a husband 25 years his junior. When I got him on the phone, I had to ask if he could guess at his current body count.

“I don’t think the number has gone up greatly,” he told me. “Although I cruise on Silver Daddies, which is, you know, for older men and younger men, their admirers, I don’t get that much action. I think that I had come up with that 3,000 number based on the idea that maybe I had sex two or three times a week for, like, 20 years. Of course, it was almost always with different people. Sex was very much on the hoof. In those days, you could find people, no matter how average looking you were.”

Master of the humble-brag, White loves to make himself the butt of the joke, while simultaneously making his life seem impossibly glamorous. The Loves of My Life starts with, “Although I have a small penis…” and then, 70-some pages later, he recounts a story of how the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe introduced White to the British writer Bruce Chatwin. “We were still standing in the doorway when we started groping each other.”

“ALTHOUGH THE STORIES IN THE LOVES OF MY LIFE ARE VIVIDLY DRAWN, WHITE SAID HE DOESN’T WRITE ANYTHING ABOUT HIS SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS IN THE MOMENT.”

White was, of course, at the Stonewall Uprising in 1969. He writes: “I had at one time been a regular patron of this Greenwich Village bar, but in recent months the crowd had changed to kids, mainly from Harlem, many in drag…. Whereas gays had always run away in the past, afraid of being arrested and jailed, these Stonewall African Americans and Puerto Ricans and drag queens weren’t so easily intimidated…. Although I’d been shocked at first by these exuberant actions, soon I felt exhilarated by the expression of the indignation I’d repressed for so long. I was joining in, despite my years of submission.”

But there are lines that even White will not cross. He does not write about his sex life with his husband – or his husband at all, for that matter. Some of the book’s more gossipy bits are written as blind items. There’s the time he had sex with an unnamed “famous German Catholic novelist who had a dick as big as a child’s arm and a bespeckled sweet face like Schubert’s.” I asked White if he agonized about balancing diplomacy with salaciousness. “I was interviewing a famous German woman sculptor, and I mentioned

this guy’s name, and she said, ‘Well, I had an affair with him. He’s one for our side.’ But I had had sex with him in Venice. We had remarkable sex. But I decided that if this woman is still close to him and doesn’t know anything about his gay life, I’d better be discreet,” White told me. “And he’s still alive.”

White also knows how to underplay what is usually shocking. “I was raped two or three times by clever older men,” he starts a section in the chapter called “Mini-Stories.” In another chapter, he recounts a time in the 1970s when he had a “sweet but tiresome slave”: “He was slender and long waisted but not at all muscular. He didn’t exercise, except for his job. He stopped his Kentucky chatter, at least, while performing the awe-inspiring act of crouching and swallowing my recycled beer.” Then White was someone else’s slave: “On another cold evening, he greeted me at the door to his house in a jockstrap and began to flog me. I bellowed my pain but both he and the Slav shushed me; they were afraid a neighbor passing by might hear my cries.”

Although the stories in The Loves of My Live are vividly drawn, White said he doesn’t write anything about his sexual encounters in the moment.

“I never take notes. And I have no journals. It’s all just remembered – or probably I made half of it up. I mean, I really do remember a lot of great sex. You know, I’m just very average looking and now ancient. So, my main emotion in sex is gratitude.”

Photo by Javier García on Unsplash

SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH AN ANIMAL, HAVE FEWER WRINKLES

On top of all the love they offer, your furry family member may just be the ultimate anti-aging secret

By Adriana Ermter

There are a number of things you can do to look younger. Apply face creams loaded with retinoids, collagen, hyaluronic acid and peptides. Eat antioxidant-rich broccoli, spinach, tomatoes and blueberries. Engage in swimming, free weights, stretching and walking. Or go to bed early, rise with the sun and indulge in daytime naps. But perhaps the best tip of all is: share your life with an animal. It may just result in having fewer wrinkles.

Photo by Charles Roth on Pexels

Create a happier home life

Having a fur baby can make you feel happier, healthier and more youthful, says Claire Silvester, a psychotherapist in Toronto. “Animals bring out our maternal and paternal instincts,” she adds. “You check to make sure they’re okay...and, in turn, they give you back all of this unconditional love. It’s why so many people adopted or acquired pets during the pandemic. They make you feel needed and important, and they make your space feel like a home.”

Many people continue to add animals into their family units. In 2024, according to research and data company Made in CA, a whopping 80 per cent of Canadians chose to share their homes with at least one animal. It makes sense. Who doesn’t love being greeted at the door with a wagging tail or receiving a purr and a rub when you sit down to watch your favourite show on Netflix? Canine and feline affection lifts your spirits, puts you in a good mood and can improve how you age.

“They bring joy and fun, which is so needed in our everyday, stressful, busy lives,” explains Suzana Gartner, J.D., LL.M, animal rights activist, retired animal rights lawyer and author of the book A Voice for Animals. “And they demand it. It’s like they say: ‘Hey, stop with your to-do list, stop with your tasks and your monkey mind and let’s just play.’ From a youthful perspective, we need that. We need the childlike qualities they bring out in us. Study after study has shown that this behaviour makes us more playful and present in the moment and, very importantly, it releases stress.”

Let Fluffy and Woofy be your Zen master Reducing your stress has lots of great benefits. It can improve your cardiovascular health courtesy of increased physical activity (think of all the walks at the dog park) and it can enhance your mental well-being, both of which can positively impact how you feel and look. According to a 2024 survey by the Human Animal Bond Research Institute (HABRI) and the University of Minnesota, people with pets – especially those with dogs and cats – report a higher sense of purpose, reduced anxiety and lower blood pressure compared to non-pet owners.

With Fluffy and Woofy by your side, you’re less likely to experience loneliness, too, which the National Institutes of Health say will strengthen your immune system and reduce depression. “They help us get through life experiences with more ease,” explains Gartner. “Nurturing an animal helps us slow down and connect with both them and with ourselves.” All combined, these physiological and emotional benefits create more resilience and relaxation – and that can translate into fewer crow’s feet and frown lines.

After all, stress plays a role in how we age. A 2019 research study published in Frontiers in Endocrinology journal notes this as the “stress theory of aging,” which supports the notion that the cumulative effects of stress and stressful environments disrupt normal cellular function and cause cellular damage that can manifest as fine lines and wrinkles. When you’re feeling stress, your body releases cortisol, the stress hormone, which damages your skin’s natural collagen and elastin. Increased or chronic stress equals more cortisol production, which has the domino effect of triggering inflammation, which then weakens your immune system and diminishes your skin’s texture and elasticity, which makes you more susceptible to looking older.

Engage with your four-legged pal and minimize wrinkles Research from the American Psychological Association notes that snuggling, petting, observing and engaging with your pet can lower these cortisol levels and boost oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that fosters feelings of relaxation and slows down the physical signs of stress and aging. Even something as simple as gazing lovingly into your fur baby’s eyes can elevate your body’s levels of dopamine and serotonin, which promote positive emotions and calmness.

“It’s the ‘mirror neuron system,’” explains Silvester. “Humans experience this regularly, but so do dogs. Our brains’ neurons fire up through certain emotional interactions, like love and playfulness. So, for example, what I do with my dog is, I look at my dog and I wink and then I wink at him again. At first, he blinks and then after a little while he’ll do a wink. It’s just another way of communicating and expressing our feelings.” While mirror neurons between people and their furry family members are still being explored, a 2021 article published by the National Library of Medicine affirms their existence and attributes the initial discovery of the human-animal neurological connection to primates.

So, despite what people (cough, certain politicians) may say about all the single cat ladies, having a pet is a good thing. In fact, we’re hardwired for this type of connection – which can otherwise be hard to come by if you live in a big city and don’t know your neighbours, work beyond a 9-to-5 job, spend more time indoors than outside due to the weather or, perhaps, live alone. Bringing an animal into your life can be the stopgap filling the void of companionship. “If you are introverted or you’ve moved to a new area or maybe you’ve gone through a breakup, getting a dog gives you a sense of companionship,” adds Silvester. “When I go to the farmers’ market on a Saturday and bring the dog, I build in an extra half-hour because of all the people who stop me and want to pet him. So, there’s something about [having a dog] that can bring this connection with other humans too.”

Keep it simple and prevent aging

Animals – particularly cats, dogs and horses – can additionally support you through bouts of anxiety, panic attacks and depression, along with big-life moments such as marriage, divorce and disease. They are sensitive to your emotions and respond empathetically, and their presence reassures that you aren’t going through life alone.

Ever cried during a Hallmark movie and had Woofy jump onto the couch and crawl into your lap? Been ill and stuck in bed and had Fluffy curl in beside you? The Hormel Institute’s research has found that these specific pet-based reactions can actually improve your quality of life. So know that watching your fish swim can calm your mind. Caring for your hamster, rabbit or guinea pig can provide a sense of purpose. Riding your horse can fill you with joy. “Animals keep it simple for us,” enthuses Gartner. “They don’t judge or criticize us like, maybe, some of our other family members or friends do. They simply tap into our innate need to be loved and accepted. And they’re consistent about it.”

So, no matter which furry (or finned) companion you call your own, each one is a worthy family member that is filling you with love, peace and happiness… and is helping you feel and look younger.

AIDS COMMUNITY CARE MONTREAL

THRIVING WITH HIV

EDUCATION

From safer sex to safer drug use, ACCM is there to help you gain knowledge to take charge of your health and well-being.

SUPPORT

Through groups and one-on-one support ACCM is there to help you live your best life. HIV is no longer about surviving, let’s make sure you THRIVE!

GET TESTED

121% Jump in diagnosed HIV cases in our Montreal Region in 2022, according to the Public Health Agency of Canada. Get tested and take charge of your health!

Sugar, Sugar

The truth about the sweet stuff

By Karen Kwan

Looking to cut down on sugar in your diet? The Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada recommends that no more than 10 per cent – and ideally, less than five per cent – of your daily calories should come from added sugars. What does this mean in real terms? If you consume 2,000 calories a day, it means no more than 200 calories should come from added sugars. Two hundred calories equal 12 teaspoons of sugar. Once you start reading labels, you’ll come to realize how many packaged foods are high in sugar, and that the added sugars add up quickly.

While Health Canada doesn’t have a specific recommendation for how many grams per day you should get when it comes to sugar, they do note that an intake of total sugars amounting to 20 per cent of the daily value of your total calories is consistent with healthy eating.

Now, as you get out your calculator and apps to figure out your sugar consumption, let’s go back to some of the basics about sugar.

Consider natural versus added sugars

Sugars occur both naturally and as an added form. You’ll find natural sugars in fruits, veggies, dairy, grains, beans, nuts, lentils and seeds, for example. As a natural source, the sugar molecules differ from the molecules of added sugars; the natural-sourced sugars take your body longer to digest and also provide a more sustained source of energy. That said, you would still want to consider limiting drinking, for example, a large glass of coldpressed beet juice or making a smoothie loaded only with fruit, as those will raise your blood glucose levels despite being made from natural sources of sugar.

Added sugars can come from natural or man-made sources and are added to foods as sweeteners (think white sugar, brown sugar, honey, agave, maple syrup, molasses, coconut sugar, fructose, glucose, maltose and sucrose, to name just a few).

The healthiest sugar

Although many people eschew certain types of sugar and go for “healthier” ones, all types of sugar are more or less equal. While added sugars vary in the ratio of fructose and glucose they are composed of, the ratio makes little difference from a health perspective. They also all provide a similar number of calories per serving. All sugars are metabolized in the same way by the body and while some types of less-processed sugar, such as coconut sugar, may have micronutrients, it’s an insignificant amount, with little impact on metabolic health. High-fructose corn syrup (HFCS), for one, is often disparaged because it’s the sugar used in many junk foods – but your body metabolizes that HFCS the same way it metabolizes the agave you added to your smoothie

(the smoothie, however, offers fibre and micronutrients, thanks to the fruits and veggies you’ve used in it).

Sugar consumption impacts your mental health

While most of us are aware of how the empty calories of sugar can lead to gaining weight (and of its tie to the risk of obesity, heart disease, type 2 diabetes and chronic inflammation), research also shows a link between sugar and mental health. Consider the sugar high you experience, followed by a crash; you then crave more sugar and are set off on a cycle where you’re constantly seeking more sugar. This can lead to big mood swings as your brain manages the surges of dopamine triggered by sugar consumption. Sugar has also been shown to intensify feelings of anxiety by initiating a release of adrenalin, which impacts how you respond to stress. Consider, too, how sugar can make you feel fatigued or even make you think less clearly – this affects how you evaluate situations and make choices.

Convinced to look at how much sugar you’re consuming, and cutting back if necessary? As you get out your calculator and apps to figure out your sugar consumption and how you can limit your intake, keep in mind that you don’t want to cut out all sugar (your body would miss out on nutrients found in dairy, fruits and whole grains, for one, and it needs the energy that carbs and sugar provide). And artificial sweeteners and sugar substitutes aren’t necessarily a solution, either. If you’re on a sugar roller coaster, a dietitian can help you find ways to get your sweet tooth under control…healthily.

Photo by Somben Chea on Pexels

of young Canadians reported feeling very familiar with STI and HIV disclosure laws in Canada.

This year, LetsStopAIDS has been advocating for comprehensive sex-ed reform in Canada.

Join our efforts as an Advocacy Ambassador or Peer Educator.

ViiV Healthcare Canada Holds Its First National Community Summit On HIV Care

The summit, held this past October, was an important venue for discussing the challenges – and exploring the opportunities – facing HIV work across Canada

On October 24, 2024, ViiV Healthcare Canada convened its first national community summit on HIV care. More than 100 HIV advocates, public health partners, educators, researchers and community leaders from across Canada attended the groundbreaking one-day event in Toronto, as they united in working towards solutions that improve the quality of life for Canadians living with and impacted by HIV.

Community organizations across Canada are undertaking crucial work that has a significant impact on both the lives of people living with HIV and on Canada’s overall efforts in combatting HIV. It’s more important than ever to bring these advocates together for critical conversations centred on combatting HIV, and the summit gave attendees an opportunity to connect and learn from each other through their work and passion for fighting HIV and its surrounding stigma.

“We have been so isolated over the last decade in our work, predominantly due to funding and competition in grants,” says advisory board member Emily Carson. “Having the ability to gather, talk and share our work brings us back to why we do the work that we do. The connection to each other makes us stronger.”

Inspired by a similar summit that has taken place in the United States annually for the last 26 years, this first Canadian summit’s advisory board – comprised of community members and sector leaders who have attended past American summits – guided all elements of the summit, from agenda to panel discussion topics.

The meeting featured four comprehensive panel discussions in a “talk show style” format, with distinguished leaders guiding discussions that provided guests with the latest insights and inspirations and were followed by interactive Q&A sessions for deeper insights.

An early-morning panel on “Navigating HIV from Youth to Aging with Dignity and Care” discussed the evolution of the HIV treatment awareness and treatment landscape since the early years of the virus, and explored the unique challenges faced by individuals living with HIV at different life stages, from youth to older age. The panellists identified the need to support youth with HIV, especially so they are not lost to care when transitioning to adult care, as well as the need to assist older patients in navigating Canada’s healthcare system. Another focus was on promoting strategies for ensuring that individuals living with HIV can age with dignity, including targeted education and advocacy within long-term care and senior living facilities.

A panel on “Transforming HIV Care and Support for Women & Girls” examined the diverse experiences of women and gender-diverse individuals in accessing HIV care across the country. The panellists identified key barriers to HIV care for women, and how to reach especially impacted groups, including Indigenous and Black women. They also showcased successful community-led initiatives that are transforming HIV care and support for women and girls.

A comprehensive panel on “Centring HIV and Harm Reduction on a Brighter Future” analyzed the role of harm reduction in preventing HIV and improving health outcomes for people living with HIV who use drugs. They discussed how changing societal attitudes towards harm reduction requires a multi-pronged approach, including demonstrating the value of harm reduction in the context of HIV prevention and minimizing harm from the poisoned drug supply. They highlighted the importance of collecting evidence on the benefits of harm reduction, which can be mobilized to build support among the public and policy makers.

The final session of the one-day event, “Collaborative Strategies for HIV Support and Advocacy for 2SLGBTQIA+ Communities,” examined the social determinants of health that impact 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals living with HIV, and discussed strategies for reducing stigma and increasing

access to care within these communities. The group also highlighted the importance of co-locating sexual, mental and social care in order to serve the multi-dimensional healthcare needs of queer communities, and of promoting collaboration among healthcare providers and advocacy groups to create more inclusive HIV care systems.

Community organizations from across the country left the summit with momentum to carry on their vital work through the next year. ViiV Healthcare Canada is already planning on hosting a second national summit in late 2025, building off the success of this year’s event.

To learn more about ViiV Healthcare Canada, visit www.viivhealthcare.ca.

Discover local HIV community organizations across Canada at www.whereto.catie.ca.

Session Speakers At ViiV Healthcare Canada’s First National Community Summit On HIV Care

Navigating HIV from Youth to Aging with Dignity and Care

Moderator: Emily Carons (Consultant, Community Engagement & International Indigenous HIV-related issues) Panellists:

• Asha Ulusow (Community Research & Leadership Coordinator)

• Dr. Francisco Ibanez-Carrasco (Assistant Professor, University of Toronto)

• Donald Turner (Executive Director, DUDES Club Chatham-Kent)

• Dr. Bertrand Lebouché (HIV & HCV Primary Care Specialist, McGill University Health Centre)

Transforming HIV Care and Support for Women & Girls

Moderator: Marvelous Muchenje (Community Relations Manager, ViiV Healthcare)

Panellists:

• Melissa Morris (Community Coordinator, Ka Ni Kanichihk)

• Claudia Medina (The Teresa Group)

• Wangari Tharao (Director of Research Programs, WHIWH, CHC)

• Doris Peltier (Community Engagement Coordinator, The Feast Centre)

Centring HIV and Harm Reduction on a Brighter Future

Moderators: Trevor Stratton (Indigenous Leadership Policy Manager, CAAN) and Keith McCrady (Executive Director, 2-Spirited People of the 1st Nations) Panellists:

• Shiny Mary Varghese (Executive Director, AIDS Programs South Saskatchewan)

• Jo Parker (Program Coordinator, Mainline Needle Exchange)

• Dr. David Tu (Family Physician, Kilala Lelum Health Centre)

• Orville Burke (Director of Health Promotion, Black Coalition of AIDS Prevention)

Collaborative Strategies for HIV Support and Advocacy for 2SLGBTQIA+ Communities

Moderator: Randy Davis (HIV Activist, InclusHIV Consulting) Panellists:

• Jaylene McRae (Two-Spirit Research Coordinator, Community Base Research Centre)

• Osmel Maynes (Director of Philanthropy, Community and Engagement, HQ Toronto)

• Dr. Ravinder Dhillon (Family Doctor, Simcoe-Muskoka)

2SLGBTQI+ Days Of Significance Throughout 2025

There are many days throughout the year that are significant to 2SLGBTQI+ communities. Mark these dates on your 2025 calendar and help increase awareness for your vibrant community

• Pink Triangle Day (February 14)

• Pink Shirt Day (Last Wednesday of February)

• International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia (IDAHOBIT) (May 17)

Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day (May 24)

• LGBTQ Domestic Violence Awareness Day (May 28)

• Butch Appreciation Day (August 18)

• Wear it Purple Day (Last Friday in August)

FEBRUARY may august november march june

• Trans Awareness Month (November 1–30)

• Intersex Solidarity Day (November 8)

• Transgender Awareness Week (November 13–19)

• Transgender Day of Remembrance (November 20)

• Bisexual Health Awareness Month (March 1–31)

• Zero Discrimination Day (March 1)

• Two-Spirit and Indigenous LGBTQQIA+ Awareness to Celebration Day (March 20)

• Omnisexual Awareness Day (March 21)

• Transgender Day of Visibility (TDOV) (March 31)

april

• International Asexuality Day (April 6)

• International Day of Pink (Second Wednesday of April)

• Lesbian Day of Visibility (April 26)

• Lesbian Visibility Week (Last week of April)

• Pride Month (June 1–30)

• Pulse Remembrance Day (June 12)

• Stonewall Riots Anniversary (June 28)

july

• Non-Binary Awareness Week (Week preceding July 14)

• International Non-Binary People’s Day (July 14)

International Drag Day (July 16)

• Bisexual Awareness Week (Week preceding September 23)

• Celebrate Bisexuality Day (September 23)

• Ally Week (Last week of September)

september december

• World AIDS Day (December 1)

• Pansexual Pride Day (December 8)

• Human Rights Day (December 10)

october

• LGBT History Month (October 1–31)

• International Lesbian Day (October 8)

• National Coming Out Day (October 11)

• International Pronouns Day (Third Wednesday in October)

• Spirit Day (Third Thursday in October)

• Intersex Awareness Day (October 26)

• Asexual Awareness Week (Last full week in October)

ON MEKAHEL

Reflects On “Last Time”

His new dance anthem draws inspiration from the late great Avicii and his own personal growth

By Shane Gallagher

Photos by Chris Martin

Reality star-turned-pop singer On Mekahel is back on the charts with his latest single, “Last Time,” a feel-good festival anthem that blends infectious beats with deeply personal storytelling. The track, written by Or Milshtok and Omri Kesten and adjusted by Mekahel and his husband, Dave, is produced by Lorenzo Cosi and mixed and mastered by Ran Ziv. With its upbeat tempo and themes of confidence and closure, “Last Time” represents a new chapter in the artist’s career, while paying homage to one of the greatest influences in his life: the late DJ Avicii.

The inspiration for “Last Time” struck during a workout session when Mekahel was listening to Avicii’s iconic song, “Wake Me Up.” “This song has been with me for years, making me feel good,” Mekahel explains. Determined to create a track that would evoke the same joy and connection for his audience, he set out to craft a piece that would resonate deeply with listeners. However, Mekahel added his own personal twist, drawing on his first heartbreak to give the song an emotional core. “It seemed like a great opportunity to make a more upbeat song about confidence and closure,” he says.

For Mekahel, Avicii’s legacy is unparalleled. “His ability to connect with his audience was just magical,” he shares. “Avicii brought electronic music into the mainstream and had a unique sound. He wasn’t afraid to take risks.” The late DJ’s “Wake Me Up” holds a special place in Mekahel’s heart, as he recalls hearing it live at a festival. “The song brings me amazing memories. It’s good vibes, good feelings,” he adds.

love. I wasn’t out at the time, and when we broke up, it felt like the end of the world,” he recalls. “Having cameras follow me through that made it even harder. But it was also a period of evolution for me.”

Despite the pain of the breakup, Mekahel is grateful for the lessons it taught him. “I learned a lot about myself, about being gay, and about the man I wanted to become,” he shares. Those lessons ultimately led him to his husband, whom he describes as the love of his life. “He makes me a better person every day and has shown me what happiness is all about.”

Musically, “Last Time” stays true to Mekahel’s signature style: a fusion of emotional depth and dance-floor energy. “It’s similar to my previous releases in that it keeps the emotions and the party on the dance floor,” he explains. “The vibe is upbeat, hopeful and fun.” He describes the track’s sound as “festival, fun, happy,” perfectly encapsulating its ability to uplift listeners and get them moving.

Through “Last Time,” Mekahel hopes to inspire his audience to embrace life’s challenges and celebrate its joys. “I hope my song will encourage them to dance, celebrate life and remember that a breakup often paves the way for something better,” he says. Reflecting on his own journey, he adds, “When my heart was broken, I thought I’d never love again, but here I am, the happiest I’ve ever been, with the greatest love I could ever dream of.”

“I hope my song will encourage them to dance, celebrate life and remember that a breakup often paves the way for something better.”

In addition to celebrating Avicii’s impact on electronic music, “Last Time” carries profound personal meaning for Mekahel. The song reflects on his first love and the heartbreak that followed –a transformative experience that played out publicly during the first season of his reality show, Putting On, which ran for two seasons on the gay streaming network, Revry. “It was my first

On Mekahel’s “Last Time” is available now on all streaming platforms. You can follow On Mekahel on Instagram, TikTok and X: @iamonmekahel.

SHANE GALLAGHER is a long-time Manhattan resident who now resides in Tampa, Florida. He shares his home and life with his two cats, Milo and Snickers, and he recently joined a gay soccer league.

CARTER COLLINS

COLLINS

The boy next door gets kinky

By Paul Hutnick

Adult film star Carter Collins may look like the guy-next-door jock type, but there’s a naughty side to him that he is exploring in his latest films on KinkMen.com.

The young stud with the captivating smile and devilish twinkle in his eyes grew up in the northern suburbs of Chicago near Lake Michigan. His was a typical childhood with two parents who are still happily together, three siblings (one brother and two sisters) and lots of time spent battling for supremacy on athletic playing fields. He experienced his first kiss at age 14 with his “girlfriend,” and his first gay experience three years later with his first “boyfriend.”

According to Collins, if he had the chance to offer his younger self a piece of advice, it would be to embrace his kinks and not be ashamed of them. He’s making up for lost time by exploring his wild side in Jailbreak, his new film with Johnny Donovan, available this month at KinkMen.com.

How did you get your start in adult film?

My career in film was actually provoked by my partner’s mom. We were Facetiming her and she noticed a ring light in our bedroom. She said something like, “I bet you guys are doing OnlyFans,” which we weren’t! But then we thought about it and were like, “hmm, what if?” It led to our first studio experience with porn star Austin Wilde.

Your real-life partner, of course, is Oliver Marks. You both seem to enjoy making films.

What I enjoy most is the camaraderie and the friends I’ve made. Don’t get me wrong: there are a lot of nasty people in the industry, too – people who couldn’t care less about how they act or treat the talent. But there are so many kind and amazing individuals too, many of whom have become my besties.

“ What I enjoy most is the camaraderie and the friends I’ve made.”

What do you dislike most about the industry?

That’s simple…early-morning call times when I’m bottoming. Ugh!

You recently transitioned from traditional adult films to fetish films. Why?

I spend a lot of time in my personal life going to dungeons and play spaces and doing really intense stuff for my own personal enjoyment, so filming fetish scenes is just another day in the office for me!

photo credit - Oliver Marks

What has been the biggest challenge you’ve faced in making this transition?

Honestly, the biggest challenge in making this transition is the increased level of work that goes into filming scenes like these. It can be intense when you’re trying to look and feel good on camera while being annihilated. Lucky for me, I do a lot of this stuff in my free time, so it’s easier for me.

Can you share a memorable experience or anecdote from your time working in fetish films?

My first time meeting and working with Van Darkholme, the master rigger on set, was memorable for me. I’d been watching his work for a really long time and it was a full circle moment to go from watching his films to being in them. It was really cool! I remember on the second day of shooting, I was tied up tight and we were in the middle of filming some pretty intense action when Van asked me how old I thought he was. I was trying to catch my breath and gather my brain cells back after being beaten and I was a little delirious. He didn’t like my answer (laughs).

You filmed your new KinkMen.com film, Jailbreak, with Van Darkholme.

I did! It’s a little film I did with the very sexy Johnny Donovan. Honestly, Johnny is one of the sweetest and most interactive partners I’ve had on set. He has got to be one of the most wellmannered guys I’ve ever met. Van directed, and I really enjoyed being his helper in tying and tormenting Johnny. Since Johnny is so sweet, it made it so much sexier to do bad things to him.

Is there anything you want to try in an upcoming film that you haven’t experienced yet?

I would love to do something with electro.… It’s one of my biggest kinks and it’s not very common. I think that my doing it on film might help open more people up to exploring the kink for themselves!

What misconceptions do you think people have about fetish films and the performers in them?

There is some talk in the industry that those who do fetish films are freaks. I find that really disheartening and odd, too, especially when the someone saying negative shit about your kinks has videos on X of them taking a 13-inch Brazilian dick. How does that make sense?

Have you noticed any differences in the audience or fan base for your fetish work compared to your previous work?

My audience and fan base has expanded from my work performing fetish scenes. It’s given me the confidence to be like, “Wow, okay, maybe I can use my kinks to really drive my image in a different way.”

What’s left to do on your life’s bucket list?

Buy a house, create a really wicked sex room with a lot of bondage furniture, and try cheese from all around the world!

What famous person, living or dead, would you most like to have dinner with?

Beyoncé! If your answer to that question isn’t Beyoncé, maybe it should be.

If anywhere on the planet were an option, where would you most like to live?

I think somewhere I can see myself living on the planet most would be somewhere deep in a jungle. I was an Animal Planet and Shark Week kid growing up so I was always in nature and surrounded by creatures of all kinds, so that’s where I would want to be.

What advice would you give to someone considering entering the fetish film industry?

First, make sure it’s something you’re actually into. It helps a lot. Second, request me as your scene partner. I’ll take it easy on you. (Laughs) On a serious note, though, it’s really nice to work with someone observant and experienced, and who you can talk to about the good and the bad that’s happening. I was fortunate enough to shoot my first kink scene with Johnny Ford and not only was he so sexy, he and I knew each other prior and he walked me through the experience. He comforted me in between shots because he recognized the intensity and toll of the scenarios. It’s so important to have scene partners like that!

What are your future goals?

I would say my future goals are an ever outwardly expanding thought process. I don’t have one particular goal, just to live the best version of my kinky self.

How to Watch

Samer Salem Is Riding High

We sit down with the queer Canadian heartthrob, who recently joined the cast of CBC’s hit police procedural drama, Allegiance CBC’s most-watched new TV series

By Christopher Turner

Photos by Steph Montani

Calgary born-and-raised actor Samer Salem is in for quite a ride. He recently returned to Canada to join the cast of the hit police procedural drama, Allegiance – CBC’s most-watched new TV series of the 2023–24 season. While the queer Canadian has found success with supporting or recurring roles on television in The Handmaid’s Tale, The Boys, Yellowjackets and The Expanse, and on the big screen in the much-hyped 2022 queer rom-com My Fake Boyfriend, his starring role as Detective Corporal Zak Kalaini will turn him into one of Canada’s most recognizable faces.

More than your typical cop show, Allegiance aims to complicate mainstream police show narratives by offering a more nuanced perspective in how it approaches topical issues like safe supply, sextortion, mental health, addiction, youth crime, policing of BIPOC communities and restorative justice. Season 2, which will premiere on January 15, will be rooted in even more topical storylines, including online gambling, tech janitors and international schools. Salem’s newly introduced character, Detective Kalaini, is smart, speedy, confident and irreverent, and transfers in to become the new partner of lead character Sabrina Sohal (played by actress Supinder Wraich) as they investigate cases across Metro Vancouver and Surrey, British Columbia. (The show is shot in Surrey and Vancouver.)

“The series is about identity and belonging, policing and politics, and finding truth within the heart of a flawed justice system,” Salem says. “Before you start throwing shade at the fact that this is a police TV series, Allegiance is really different from the typical cop shows, like Law & Order!”

Salem, whose parents immigrated to Canada from Lebanon, wasn’t always on a path to a leading role on one of Canada’s biggest TV shows. After receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in nursing from the University of Calgary, he decided to abandon a career in medicine to pursue a secret desire to try out acting. At that point, he had no experience on stage or in front of a camera. But he was persistent. He enrolled in his first acting class in Vancouver, and never looked back. It took him five years of working graveyard shifts as a nurse in Vancouver while going out for auditions, but his leap of faith finally paid off in spades when he booked his first significant role.

IN recently sat down with Salem as he was on set filming Allegiance in Vancouver; we chatted about what viewers can expect from Season 2, his role models, and what’s next for the one-to-watch actor.

Let’s kick things off and talk about Season 2 of Allegiance

What can you tell us about your character, newly transferred partner Zak Kalaini?

Zak is in his early 30s and is smart, blunt and irreverent. He recently transferred from Calgary, and his sensibilities put him at odds with Sabrina [the lead character in Allegiance], his new partner in the Serious Crimes Unit. Zak came to policing after spending time in law school. He was deeply committed to the pursuit of justice. The only problem? He realized he didn’t really like lawyers, or the verbal one-upmanship and backroom deals. Instead, Zak thrives on the adrenalin of hands-on, real-time human interaction. Although he doesn’t hit the heights of Sabrina’s emotional intuition and

compassion, he’s good at reading people. His ability to code-switch and put suspects at ease often keeps him three steps ahead.

What can viewers expect in this season of Allegiance?

Loads of drama and action, just like the first season, which premiered on CBC in February 2024. I’ve been a fan of Allegiance since it debuted, so I’m so excited to officially be part of the Allegiance family! The upcoming season will be rooted in another powerful set of engaging and topical storylines. My on-screen partner, Sabrina, joins the Serious Crimes Unit and has six months to prove she’s got what it takes to be a detective. She’s paired with me, someone who has a decade more of experience compared to her and a very different approach to the job. While navigating a complex love life and an equally complicated family life, Sabrina is determined to take down the man responsible for framing her father in the first season.

Some readers might remember you from the 2022 queer romcom My Fake Boyfriend with Keiynan Lonsdale. What was that experience like for you?

That movie was a lot of fun to shoot. It was my first rom-com. I’d never done anything in that genre, and it was fun to play in a different style of acting. The rest of the cast were fantastic to work with. Great experience all around!

Do you consider yourself a role model for 2SLGBTQI+ viewers across the country?

I haven’t really thought of myself as a role model, to be honest, but the older I get, the more conscious I am of how my choices can have ripple effects outside of the sphere that I exist in. I’d been out for a long time in the industry. Agents and casting, etc., all knew I was gay. But I didn’t come out publicly until I did press for My Fake Boyfriend. That was a conscious decision, and in doing so I thought, you know, if this makes it easier for even one kid to come out to themselves or to their family, that’s a good enough reason.

I’m learning more and more that there is a responsibility that comes with being in a public-facing position – an opportunity to help shift a narrative, change the landscape of our industry and society in general. For so long, there was this pervasive view that ‘out’ actors wouldn’t get work in Hollywood. And that’s obviously no longer true. If I can continue to make it easier for those in our community, or people of colour to get their foot in the door, it’s not an opportunity I want to waste.

Who do you consider a role model?

I’ve got a few: Ian McKellen, brilliant actor. Andrew Scott and Denzel Washington.

What’s one piece of advice that someone gave you that has really made a difference to you?

Go slow to go fast.

If you weren’t acting right now, what would you be doing?

I think I’d have likely gone and become a doctor. Or an architect. Ha! Who knows? Life is wild.

Let’s switch gears. What’s your favourite TV show, movie and song?

I can’t pin down a favourite TV show, but right now I’m watching Silo with Rebecca Ferguson. Her performance is stellar. I’ve also been watching Shrinking – very funny, highly recommend. Favourite movies are Braveheart and Shawshank Redemption. I won’t lie, I’m an Adele stan, so probably something of hers. I just came upon a song called “Stick of Gum” by a Canadian artist named Nemahsis; it’s a great listen.

What’s next for Samer Salem?

Definitely a vacation! I’m looking forward to winding down during the holidays. Besides that, we’ll see what comes my way. The last year has been full of surprises and blessings, so I’m staying open to whatever else the universe is cooking up for me. I shot a movie with Lucy Hale a while back called F Marry Kill, which premiered back in December 2024, and Chicken Sisters for Hallmark +. Chicken Sisters will get its Canadian release this year. Both those projects are a lot of fun, so definitely check them out!

HOW TO WATCH

The complete first season of Allegiance is available to stream in Canada for free on the CBC Gem streaming platform.

Season 2 of Allegiance is set to premiere on Wednesday, January 15, 2025, at 9:00 am ET on CBC Gem, and at 9:00 pm ET (9:30 pm NT) on CBC TV.

Weekly episodes will also be available to stream for free on CBC Gem.

Visionary Voice

Melissa Etheridge opens up about her psychic songwriting, her transformative tour and the importance of recording queer history

By Elio Iannacci

Photos by Lauren Dukoff

With two Grammys to her name, a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame and an honorary degree from Berklee College, Melissa Etheridge can be counted as one of the most venerated queer people in music history. To survey the 63-year-old singer-songwriter’s 27-plus-year career is to understand why the reverence for her is so well-deserved.

Even before people were expected to write genderless pop and rock – in order to reach a spectrum of straight and 2SLGBTQI+ fans –Etheridge was doing it deliberately. Her discography, containing chart-topping tracks such as “I’m The Only One,” “Come To My Window” and “Bring Me Some Water” embodies the kind of thirsty, hungry-for-love (and autonomy) time that many ’90s queers lived through. The raw lust and yearning that Etheridge injected into her songs was unachievable by many rockers in the ’90s and 2000s who just weren’t able to grasp the depths of desire she presented with her raspy voice and sensual lyrics.

Then there is the rather important fact that Etheridge – who was inspired by k.d. lang’s public coming out one year prior – became

one of the only proud and out lesbian voices in the music scene. This was after Etheridge came out in 1993 at the Triangle Ball, an LGBTQ-focused celebration of US President Bill Clinton’s inauguration.

Her upcoming tour – with a Canadian stop in Niagara Falls on April 23 at Fallsview Casino Resort – has the trailblazer revisiting many of these iconic moments in music with stories and music. At the cusp of celebrating the 30-year-old birthday of her classic album, Your Little Secret – a monumental disc for queer people, who viewed it as a beacon during the peak of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell era of American politics – Etheridge has found herself in full-on recalibration mode.

Etheridge, one of rock’s most influential queer trailblazers, has sat down with IN Magazine a number of times throughout the years, including her July/August 2017 cover story and her March 2011 cover story. Weeks before she was set to fling herself into the throes of self-examination on stage, Etheridge talked to IN about the breadth, complexity and clairvoyant nature of her body of work.

I’d like you to think back to about 30 years ago…when you were preparing to release the album Your Little Secret. What are the first memories that immediately come to mind?

The album before that – [1992’s] Yes I Am – was so big for me.

So I started doing the biggest tours of my life and reaching a dream come true. People knew the songs. It was right before everything changed in my life. I had a relationship change and I started realizing that what I thought would make my life perfect – fame and fortune – was not cutting it. I found out that all that doesn’t solve your problems. I took a journey inward rather than outward. The music mirrors that.

You come across as the voice of reason in a recent music documentary called Louder: The Soundtrack of Change . So many songs are highlighted for instigating change. Which female artist is politically on-the-job right now?

I want to say Taylor Swift, even though she’s not directly political. She represents what it’s like to be a successful woman on her own terms and being hugely influential to the majority. That is power. To be political now is to follow your own path…which she clearly does.

Taylor was inspired by seeing you live as a kid. As TikTok knows, it motivated her to pick up a guitar. If you could do a duet with her with one of your songs, which would it be?

Something very gentle: something like ‘Sleep While I Drive.’ It’s very her.

In 1995, you covered Joan Armatrading’s ‘The Weakness In Me.’ She is a queer rocker that everyone knew was lesbian, even though she only came out officially, publicly, in 2011. Did that feel like a full-circle moment for you?

Oh, yes. I love bringing her to people in any way since some may not know her work. She’s such an interesting singer-songwriter with a powerful voice, so I often would sing that song before I ever recorded an album. I would play it in the bars.

The video to your [2021 single] ‘Cool As You Try’ is an homage to lesbian bars everywhere. Do you think this current generation of queers is lacking these kinds of spaces?

They create their own space, and I think the healthy thing is that they don’t need to be surrounded by alcohol to do it. The unhealthy part of those meeting spaces didn’t make those spaces as safe as we’d like to think when it came to gathering. The new generation has changed all that.

The late ’90s was a world of gigantic super clubs for gay men, where DJs like Junior Vasquez had booths designed by Dolce & Gabbana and played to crowds of hundreds. Did you ever sample any of that?

Yes. I went to The Limelight in New York and, ohhh boy. I loved it because it was in an old church and they reclaimed that space and made it a bar. To be honest, New York always scared me in the ’90s when I was a celebrity in a way that was tough to understand. I tried to stay away from big places like that.

What did you think about the way LGBTQ+ media wrote about you when you first came out? Did you find them to be fair?

The Advocate’s editor was Judy Wieder [the first female editor of the magazine]. She was very beautiful and she did stories on me that were smart and sensitive, so I appreciated that. There was a huge divide back then…between lesbian magazines and gay magazines. The two really emblemized the ’90s. The struggle back then was trying to bring the lesbian community and the gay male community together…even though we sometimes would have nothing in common other than both sides were seen as gay. The styles of storytelling from each section of LGBTQ media were different. We were each trying to hold on to our own, and I could feel that struggle. Judy was an actual literal advocate of mine, and I think that they definitely got my story right when they told it. I was honoured to be recognized in a way that wasn’t so limiting.

The more time passes, the more I see how important queer media is for us and for the world at large. Do you see that too? Yes. We tend to innovate so much and change so many traditional systems because we have to. I saw the creation of many things like lesbian magazines such as Curve and Diva. A lot of the lesbian journalism that came out back then was exciting. They were doing such incredible work to bring AIDS awareness into the light and to bring our political power into focus. I’m so grateful to all of those editors and writers.

I was working for some really intense gay lifestyle magazines, and we did a lot of things wrong. Did you live through a lot of those growing pains?

All I can say is we all did our best. We only knew so much. We were just starting to be heard. Now we can do better.

Your film and live album, I’m Not Broken, which was filmed and recorded at the Topeka Correctional Facility, was such an eye-opening project. After doing it, did you have a renewed sense of hope for the incarcerated women you performed for? Yes, I did. I really did. It did so much for me to believe in the power of human change and human growth. I was so inspired by many of them and I’ve visited them again since. How we hold incarcerated people in general, and our collective ideas of crime and punishment, needs a rethink. I truly believe it’s not about punishing people; it’s about helping them change. They’re certainly punishing themselves enough.

The live performance for I’m Not Broken had you rethink your own catalogue to give your incarcerated audience a new context to your songs. Was that tough to pull off?

It was unlike anything I’d done before. I had played many correctional facilities before, since I grew up in Leavenworth, Kansas – which is around many of them. For I’m Not Broken, I was very thoughtful about what the setlist was. I wanted to address these women directly in songs like ‘An Unexpected Rain’ and ‘Into the Dark’ and ‘Burning Woman.’ My aim was to reach a place of understanding and present an internal journey of forgiveness.

One of your most powerful songs is ‘Scarecrow.’ It was written about Matthew Shepard’s murder in 1998. With all these years that have gone by, how do you view the song?

As a time capsule. It was the first time our nation as a whole

looked at an incident and a crime and a taking of a life solely because the person was gay. They actually took notice. This was something that happened all the time but was never brought into our living rooms. The first time it was covered so extensively. It was also the first time – because it was so painful – that it nearly broke us as a community. There had to be a change. I think what it did to our nation was people who might not have understood homosexuality, who might’ve thought, ‘Oh, this is horrible’ – those people who had looked the other way finally took a step forward.

How so? Do you think many right-wing people just couldn’t connect to that kind of violence?

They moved forward in understanding that we are actual people who deserve peace. People who may not be in their church or believe what they believe in.… But I think that the news coverage around Matthew created more acceptance. I met his parents later on at the march on Washington when I went on stage to sing ‘Scarecrow.’ It was nearly impossible; that performance brought me to my knees. It was very painful.

Some of your songs are like crystal balls. For example, ‘Bring Me Some Water’ is about a polyamorous and open relationships decades before Grindr. Do you see the clairvoyant nature of your tracks?

They are like crystal balls to me! I just came back from a retreat

and remembered songs that I had written 14 years ago, and I listened to them with new ears. I was telling myself where I’m going, what I’m going to do, and the songs came true.

When was the last time you impressed yourself?

Today doing this interview.

You’re doing a fantastic job. If there was a biopic written about your life, who would you cast as the lead?

Florence Pugh has an energy close to what I see myself back in my 30s, 40s. I’ve never met her but I would love to.

You are due for a new album soon. Is it in the works?

It’s been eight years! This album’s going to be very organic. I’m just going to go in with my band and record live.

Do you think America’s new presidential leadership will affect the subjects of your songs?

Times like these are times of great change. This is an opportunity to transform on a mass scale. The working title of my new album touches on this because it’s called The Messenger – at least for now. It came about because I just kept going back to a question that I keep asking: without hope, what are we doing here? I know I’m not here to feed the fire but I can’t help to sing about what I see and hear.

Of The Best LGBTQ+ Rom-Coms To Stream For Valentine’s Day

We take stock of the best queer rom-coms ever – from Fire Island and Love, Simon to But I’m A Cheerleader and The Things About Harry

By Christopher Turner

Rom-coms tend to get a lot of flak, but let’s be honest: they’re always a good time. They are also a great reminder that not every film you watch has to tackle death, discrimination, trauma, gloom, doom and sadness. That’s why we’ve put together a list of films that perfectly exemplify this beloved but under-appreciated genre…and all have LGBTQ+ storylines!

Whether you’re going through another breakup and desperately need a reminder that true love is out there, or you’re just a romantic at heart, the charming little queer romantic comedies on this list are all guaranteed to put a big smile on your face. From coming-of-age LGBTQ+ movies to more nuanced, but lighthearted explorations of the intricacies of LGBTQ+ relationships…they’re all here! Expect every single one of these films to be a cheerfully formulaic rom-com that fully embraces inclusion without falling back on stereotypes…well, maybe just a few.

Fire Island (2022)

Starring: Joel Kim Booster, Bowen Yang, Conrad Ricamora, James Scully, Matt Rogers, Tomás Matos, Torian Miller and Margaret Cho

Director: Andrew Ahn

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Disney+

In this modern adaptation of Jane Austen’s classic Pride and Prejudice, a group of queer best friends set out on their annual summer vacation to iconic gay destination Fire Island – but an unexpected change of events turns their week-long trip into a messy, romance-filled adventure. The film is written by and stars Joel Kim Booster, who plays Noah, a proudly single nurse whose outlook on dating is rocked when he meets the film’s “Mr. Darcy,” Will (Conrad Ricamora). Faced with a similar transformation is Howie (Bowen Yang), whose burgeoning courtship with Charlie (James Scully) gets mixed reviews from his hilarious group of friends, including Keegan (Tomás Matos), Luke (Matt Rogers) and Max (Torian Miller).

Starring: Daniel Doheny, Antonio Marziale and Madeline Weinstein

Director: Craig Johnson

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Netflix

In this heartfelt teen love story, high school student Alex Truelove (Daniel Doheny) is determined to lose his virginity to his girlfriend, Claire (Madeline Weinstein). But when he goes to a party and meets Elliot (Antonio Marziale), an openly gay student, that calls everything he once knew into question. Make sure you watch all the way to the end of this cute gay rom-com – the closing credits feature some real-life coming-out stories that are sure to pull at your heartstrings.

Alex Strangelove (2018)

Crush (2022)

Starring: Rowan Blanchard, Auliʻi Cravalho and Isabella Ferreira

Director: Sammi Cohen

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Disney+

Out director Sammi Cohen’s directorial debut is a feel-good coming-of-age flick that delivers a fresh take on a classic high school love triangle. Crush follows budding artist Paige Evans (Rowan Blanchard) as she joins the Miller High School track team to get closer to her unrequited long-time lesbian crush, popular student Gabby Campos (Isabella Ferreira), only to discover she is getting closer to another teammate…Gabby’s twin, AJ Campos (Auliʻi Cravalho), who’s co-captain of the track team.

Anything’s Possible (2022)

Starring: Eva Reign, Abubakr Ali and Renée Elise Goldsberry

Director: Billy Porter

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Amazon Prime Video

Out Emmy-winner Billy Porter’s directorial debut is a delightfully modern Gen Z coming-of-age story. Anything’s Possible follows a confident trans high school student (Eva Reign) as she navigates life during her senior year. When her classmate Khal (Abubakr Ali) gets a crush on her, he musters up the courage to ask her out, despite the drama he knows it could cause.

My Fake Boyfriend (2022)

Starring: Keiynan Lonsdale, Dylan Sprouse, Sarah Hyland and Samer Salem

Director: Rose Troche

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Amazon Prime Video

In Rose Troche’s 2022 rom-com, My Fake Boyfriend, stuntman Andrew (Keiynan Lonsdale, who also appears in Love, Simon on this list) is stuck in a toxic relationship with a self-absorbed narcissist. His best friend Jake (Dylan Sprouse) and Jake’s girlfriend Kelly (Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland) decide the only way to break the cycle is with a white lie: the creation of a new (fake!) online boyfriend. Of course, hijinks and an IRL romance follow.

The Half Of It (2020)

Starring: Leah Lewis, Daniel Diemer, Alexxis Lemire, Enrique Murciano, Wolfgang Novogratz, Catherine Curtin, Becky Ann Baker and Collin Chou

Director: Alice Wu

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Netflix

In this modern rethinking of Edmond Rostand’s 1897 play Cyrano de Bergerac, shy brainiac Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis) lives in the remote town of Squahamish with her widowed father (Collin Chou) and runs a side hustle ghostwriting other students’ homework. Of course, everything changes when Ellie’s next-door neighbour, high school jock Paul Munsky (Daniel Diemer), hires her to write love letters to his crush, Aster Flores (Alexxis Lemire) – who Ellie also has a crush on. But this coming-of-age film is far less concerned with who gets the girl in the end, and really highlights the unlikely friendship between Ellie and Paul as the pair find themselves connecting and learning about the nature of love.

Bros (2022)

Starring: Billy Eichner and Luke Macfarlane

Director: Nicholas Stoller

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Netflix Bros was notoriously the first major studio release to feature an all-LGBTQ+ principal cast. The story revolves around neurotic podcast host Bobby Lieber (Billy Eichner), who’s happy to go on non-stop Tinder dates and content not to have a serious relationship. That is, until he meets Aaron Shepard (Luke Macfarlane), an equally detached lawyer who likes to play the field. Repeatedly drawn to each other, the pair have to navigate the complexities of a budding romance in Manhattan, and eventually begin to show their vulnerable sides as their undeniable attraction turns into something resembling a commitment.

White & Royal Blue (2023)

Starring: Taylor Zakhar Perez, Nicholas Galitzine, Clifton Collins Jr., Sarah Shahi, Rachel Hilson, Stephen Fry and Uma Thurman

Director: Matthew Lopez

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Amazon Prime Video

Red, White & Royal Blue is based on the 2019 bestselling novel of the same name by Casey McQuiston, which depicts the long-running feud and staged truce that sparks something deeper between Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez), the son of the president of the United States (Uma Thurman), and Britain’s Prince Henry (Nicholas Galitzine). Things become a little more complicated when the couple, considering their high-profile public lives, must keep their relationship a secret at all costs.

Happiest Season (2020)

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Mackenzie Davis, Alison Brie, Aubrey Plaza, Daniel Levy, Mary Holland, Victor Garber and Mary Steenburgen Director: Clea DuVall

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Crave Clea DuVall wrote and directed this holiday romantic comedy, a semiautobiographical take on her own experiences with her family. Happiest Season follows long-time lesbian couple, Abby (Kristen Stewart) and Harper (Mackenzie Davis), who make plans to visit Harper’s family for the holidays. The catch? Harper requests that Abby hide their relationship from her conservative parents for the visit. It’s a charming, sweet and gay addition to the long list of holiday romance films that can be watched year-round. Plus, this was the first lesbian Christmas rom-com produced by a major Hollywood studio.

Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Starring: Jennifer Westfeldt, Heather Juergensen, Scott Cohen, Jackie Hoffman and Tovah Feldshuh

Director: Charles Herman-Wurmfeld

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Disney+ Jessica (Jennifer Westfeldt) is at the end of her emotional rope until she happens upon an intriguing personal ad, whose only drawback is that it’s in the “women seeking women” section. On a daring whim, she decides to answer it and meets funky downtown hipster Helen Cooper (Heather Juergensen) for drinks – and, to her surprise, they click instantly. The pair then proceed to muddle through an earnest but hilarious courtship, making up the rules as they go.

Red,

Dating Amber (2020)

Starring: Fionn O’Shea, Lola Petticrew, Sharon Horgan and Barry Ward

Director: David Freyne

Where to watch it: Available in Canada on Apple TV

Set in 1995 in The Curragh, Ireland, Dating Amber (originally titled Beards) is David Freyne’s semi-autobiographical coming-of-age film that revolves around Eddie (Fionn O’Shea) and Amber (Lola Petticrew) – two closeted teenagers who start a fake straight relationship in an effort to fit in and to escape school bullying and prejudice from the people in their conservative rural town.

But I’m A Cheerleader (1999)

Starring: Natasha Lyonne, Clea DuVall, Melanie Lynskey, RuPaul Charles, Eddie Cibrian, Wesley Mann, Richard Moll, Douglas Spain, Katharine Towne and Cathy Moriarty

Director: Jamie Babbit

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Amazon Prime Video

This cult classic satire centres on 17-year-old Megan (Natasha Lyonne), a – you guessed it! – cheerleader who has a football-playing boyfriend and hasn’t yet come to terms with her sexuality. The dark twist comes when her conservative parents suspect she’s gay and send her off to a gay conversion camp, where, ironically, she begins to truly accept herself and begins to fall for fellow camper Graham (Clea DuVall). But I’m a Cheerleader is truly charming and is renowned for its campy aesthetic, vibrant color palette and sharp humour.

Love, Simon (2018)

Starring: Nick Robinson, Jennifer Garner, Josh Duhamel, Talitha Bateman, Katherine Langford, Alexandra Shipp and Jorge Lendeborg Jr.

Director: Greg Berlanti

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Disney+

Based on the 2015 novel Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, Love, Simon was the first film by a major Hollywood studio to focus on a gay teenage romance. It tells the story of 17-year-old Simon Spier (Nick Robinson), a soft-spoken high schooler; he has a close-knit group of friends but is reluctant to come out to them. When an anonymous coming-out confession is posted to the school’s message board, Simon reaches out to the anonymous classmate and eventually falls in love with them as the two write back and forth. In trying to figure out that person’s identity, Simon discovers more about his own, but not without more than a few complications along the way.

The Thing About Harry (2020)

Starring: Jake Borelli, Niko Terho, Britt Baron, Karamo Brown and Peter Paige

Director: Peter Paige

Where to watch it: Streaming in Canada on Disney+

Topping off our list of LGBTQ+ rom-coms is this adorable queer romcom that centres on Valentine’s Day. It was written by Queer As Folk’s Peter Paige and was the first queer rom-com in TV movie history. The Thing About Harry follows Sam (Jake Borelli), a young gay man who is forced into a road trip with his former high school bully, Harry (Niko Terho), who has changed quite a bit since high school. It’s soon revealed that Harry now identifies as pansexual, and the two eventually form a friendship. As romance begins to bloom, the plot becomes filled with unexpected roadblocks, a little drama, and plenty of comedy. The perfect rom-com recipe.

2SLGBTQI+ Content That Everyone Should SeE Before Awards Season

As we inch closer to Oscar season, some award-worthy films might have gotten lost in the mix, so here are the crucial details on some of the queer content that will surely be part of the awards season conversation

By Matthew Creith

At this time last year, Hollywood was in a bit of a stalemate. Months of negotiations between writers, actors and major studios forced strikes that reverberated through the festival scene and stopped content from starting production. After they finally reached deals (that pleased almost everyone), awards season quickly kicked into high gear, and we saw films like Oppenheimer, Poor Things and The Holdovers take top honours at the Academy Awards. But because of the strikes, many studios pushed the release dates for their films to 2024, which means they are now part of the awards season conversation this year.

Chief among those movies that ultimately released this year were conversation starters like Challengers, Dune: Part Two and Netflix’s Hit Man. However, many folks don’t know about some movies that have fallen through the cracks, and some films have yet to be released that will likely still be considered for Oscar glory. 2SLGBTQI+ content might be at an all-time high this year, as there is no shortage of fantastic films to choose from this awards season

Here’s a quick roundup of the 2SLGBTQI+ films we believe everyone should see before awards season officially kicks off. (We’ve noted their availability as of our print date in December.)

Wicked

By now, most of the world has seen the movie adaptation of the popular Broadway musical Wicked. Holding firm at the box office, the film is a marvelous addition to The Wizard of Oz storyline that has entertained audiences for almost 100 years. Wicked is an inherently 2SLGBTQI+ spectacle, with power anthems like “Defying Gravity” that shake the core for personal freedom and identity through queer singer Cynthia Erivo’s powerful vocal cords. Erivo and Ariana Grande play the magical duo Elphaba and Glinda, respectively, leading a cast that includes out actors Jonathan Bailey, Bowen Yang and Marissa Bode.

Wicked is currently in theatres.

Emilia Perez

One of the most controversial and talkedabout movies of the past year is undoubtedly Emilia Perez, starring Zoe Saldana, Karla Sofia Gascon, Selena Gomez and Adriana Paz. Set against a musical backdrop of Mexican cartels and gender-affirming surgery, the film explores trans issues in a very unique manner. Saldana’s character, Rita, is a lawyer who assists Gascon’s murderous drug lord character in transitioning in order to evade police and affirm her true identity. Told through a telenovela narrative that sees Saldana give one of the year’s best performances, Emilia Perez might also give Gascon some muchdeserved praise as the actor vies to become the first openly trans person nominated for Best Actress at the Academy Awards.

Emilia Perez is currently available to stream on Netflix.

Conclave

One might not have predicted that a film about the political intrigue of selecting a new pope in the pristine corridors of the Vatican would be top of the list for 2SLGBTQI+ content this year. But Edward Berger’s thriller Conclave defies expectations in its ability to showcase some of the best acting performances of the year from stars Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci and John Lithgow. Though political infighting from the left, right and centre fall into place during this harrowing tale, it’s Carlos Diehz’s mysterious Archbishop Benitez that gives the film a much-needed controversial ending that absolutely no one sees coming. This is a spoiler-free zone, but trust us when we say that Conclave is a master class in discovering the truth about those who peel away parts of their identity one layer at a time.

Conclave is currently in theatres.

Sing Sing

Actor Colman Domingo is no stranger to awards-season buzz for playing queer characters after his monumental performance in last year’s Rustin, which gave the performer his first Oscar nomination. He returns this year with another rousing performance in the film Sing Sing , playing an incarcerated man who helps lead a rehabilitation program at the infamous Sing Sing Maximum Security Prison to encourage prisoners to participate in the arts. As one of the only professional actors in the film, Domingo leads a cast that includes many real-life former prisoners who once participated in the true-to-life program. Sing Sing originally premiered at the 2023 Toronto International Film Festival and will absolutely see Domingo receive another Oscar nomination for a tour-de-force performance.

Sing Sing is not currently streaming, but we expect it to soon.

Queer

The film’s title says it all, but director Luca Guadagnino’s version of William S. Burroughs’ novel of the same name is the gayest cinematic event of 2024. Queer stars Daniel Craig as William Lee, an American expat living in Mexico in the 1950s, enjoying days and nights picking up strangers and filling his time with sexual encounters. He becomes obsessed with the younger Eugene (Drew Starkey), and the two travel the world together, engaging in unhealthy sexual exploits and drug use. The film steers into Guadagnino’s surrealist directorial efforts similar to his previous work, Suspiria , though the sex scenes between Craig and Starkey are not to be missed.

Queer had a limited theatrical release on November 27 and expanded to more theatres throughout December.

Challengers

If one Luca Guadagnino film this year wasn’t enough, we have great news! As a direct result of the strikes from last year, Guadagnino’s Challengers was pushed from its original 2023 release date to 2024, where the film has received acclaim from critics and audiences alike. Zendaya stars as Tashi Duncan, a tennis phenom whose relationships with best friends Patrick (Josh O’Connor) and Art (Mike Faist) become utterly complicated, to say the least. The story, written by Queer screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes, spans over a decade in these three people’s lives, and the tennis and sex have never been hotter. The trio engages in sexual dynamics that are difficult to define, capped off with a sweaty sports-induced ending set to a marvelous score from Oscar winners Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross that must be seen to be believed.

Challengers is currently streaming on Prime Video.

Will & Harper

Queer documentaries are often a staple of awards season, though some go unnoticed. This year, Will & Harper sheds light on the heart of the trans journey, seen through the eyes of best friends and frequent collaborators actor Will Ferrell and writer Harper Steele. Steele is a long-time contributor to Saturday Night Live , and the two have worked together for decades. But Steele’s coming out as a trans woman threw many of her friends and family for a loop, confused by Steele’s insistence to continue living the same life she always has, but in the body she’s always identified with.

Will & Harper sees the pair driving across the United States on an epic road trip, similar to many of Steele’s trips before her transition. Along the way, the two friends reconnect on fundamental and emotional levels, stopping in dive bars and staying in cheap motels to see if the heartland of America will embrace Steele for who she is.

Will & Harper screened at the Toronto International Film Festival and is currently streaming on Netflix.

Queer Sexual Joy

JJ Wright with

JJ Wright’s ideas around queer and trans sexual joy dig a little deeper

By Paul Gallant

In 1968, a year before Stonewall in New York, US activist Frank Kameny coined the term “Gay is good,” riffing on civil rights activist Stokely Carmichael’s slogan, “Black is beautiful.” Both simple phrases were meant to turn existing negative stereotypes upside down – not only are 2SLGBTQI+ and Black people just as good as their straight and/or white counterparts, there is value in being queer and/or Black. The world is better because of us.

For 2SLGBTQI+ people in particular, “Gay is good” rejected ideas that our sexuality and our way of moving through the world was not only inferior, but sick or immoral. Homosexuality was considered a mental disorder by the American medical establishment until 1987. In 2013, “gender identity disorder” was replaced with “gender dysphoria” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a rephrasing that was seen as de-stigmatizing trans people while giving them a diagnosis that would grant access to medical services like hormones and surgery.

Even with ideas of “sickness” falling away, ideas around immorality and inferiority continue to be pushed by right-wing thinkers who try to convince the world that drag is indoctrination, same-gender marriage is a pale imitation of straight marriage and trans identity is merely trendy or worse.

One approach to countering this demonization would be to tone down 2SLGBTQI+ culture, make fewer demands on government and society. Another is to dig more deeply into our own inherent sense that what we have to offer (including sex) and what we want (including sex) is delightful and worthwhile, even as each queer has their own unique way of finding joy. Celebrating queer sexual expression itself – taking pleasure in our bodies and their desires – is both a defence and a balm against hate.

Into this battleground comes the work of JJ Wright, an assistant professor of sociology and gender studies at Alberta’s MacEwan University. Last year, collaborating with the Public Health Agency

of Canada and national queer lobby group Egale Canada, Wright released the findings from their project Learning from Queer and Trans Sexual Joy: Cultivating Just, Pleasurable and Affirming Sexual Cultures. The project includes six recommendations for creating a queer joy-centred approach to education about genderbased violence prevention. The message struck a chord. In the year since the project was published, Wright has been fielding interest from all over the world.

“It often happens in academia that we get really passionate about a particular topic and aren’t sure how it will resonate with the general public,” Wright says. “But there’s been response from across the world: South Asia, the United Kingdom, the United States. I spoke at Vanderbilt University [in Tennessee], where I was invited to share the research. It reached all the way down to Australia, where a school counsellor contacted me because they want to implement the lessons into their sexual health programming. I’m also going to do a fellowship at the University of Sydney to build on the work with some folks down there.”

Though so many artists, promoters, venues and online spaces these days declare themselves to be sex-positive, Wright’s ideas around queer and trans sexual joy dig a little deeper. Embracing sex positivity without considering ideas around consent, safety and boundaries has led, in some situations, to people being pressured to engage in sexual acts they don’t want to engage in, smiling as they do so. Going along with a sexual partner just so as not to kill the vibe can prevent us from accessing our own sexual joy.

“We have this move towards sex positivity that has caused us to talk about pleasure more in sex education and be more comfortable with having sexual desire and expressing it openly,” says Wright. “Historically, when women have expressed desire, they’ve been labelled as whores or sluts. But if it’s about women just giving men more sex, lesbian feminists would say that this is not revolutionary. Yes, women deserve embodied pleasure. But the rates of sexual

violence haven’t gone down in over 30 years. I do fear that this simple emphasis on sex-positive sex education doesn’t really get to the heart of the deeper issue, which is that cis heteropatriarchy is maintaining women’s and trans people’s subordination.”

“If people are having sex, why not give them the tools to have great sex?”

A couple of the project’s six youth-led recommendations seem like no-brainers: teach an understanding of bodily autonomy, and how to improve communication around sex. A tad more controversial is teaching sexual pleasure – knowing what feels good emotionally and physically, as well as providing practices “to navigate compulsory cisheteronormativity which teaches us to dissociate from our bodies.”

By this, Wright is suggesting that some queer people become disembodied by how society and their sexual partners treat them – they lose touch with their own physicality. “In my thesis project, one of the participants just literally could not feel touch on her body. We go in and out of our bodies. And that has to do with the culture that we live in, this hustle culture that tells us to push ourselves, beyond what might feel [to be] our limits, which doesn’t lend itself well to ethical, healthy sexual relations. But embodiment to me is being in tune,” says Wright.

Trauma is one of the ways we become disembodied, but the impossible beauty standards and the one-size-fits-all sexiness of social media might also play a part. “We get these messages that tell us we need to look certain ways. When we don’t and we’re with a partner, we can feel not good enough. That doesn’t make us want to stay in our bodies.”

One of the interesting concepts in the recommendations is the idea of “containers for safety,” that is, creating conditions where consent, pleasure and joy are given the space and the value that they deserve. The idea reminded me of the concept of “right to privacy” that was developed by gay activists in response to police raids on gay bathhouses in Toronto in the 1970s and ’80s. A right to privacy, in the context of gay male sexuality, suggested that as long as participants in sexual activity made sure they weren’t bothering anyone who didn’t want to be involved, they had a right to be left alone; their consensual sexual escapades were nobody’s business but their own.

Rather than necessarily creating spaces like saunas and sex clubs that have the condition of privacy, Wright is suggesting that there are a range of ways to create conditions of safety that allow queer people to bring their entire selves, not just their body parts, to sexual experiences. Communications through words and building

trust through actions before sex might be the key method of creating a container for safety, but it could also be about being in a comfortable physical space.

“We have to be able to feel safe in a space in order to have a consensual experience,” says Wright. “If we’re very afraid or we’re disembodied, it’s difficult to connect to our intuition and know that we’re okay with what’s happening.”

Wright’s research found that polyamorous and BDSM communities often have knowledge and strategies about creating containers of safety while pursuing sexual experiences that others might perceive as outré or risky. But that boundary pushing is exactly what prompts polyamorous and kinky people to do their due diligence to ensure all parties feel safe and comfortable. One participant who was interviewed for the project described going to a sex party where they grew impatient with a queer woman who was interested in sex but taking too long to make a physical move: “In my head I’m kind of like, ‘Damn, let’s get started, like, what are we waiting for?’ but I was like, ‘Actually, wait, this is how it’s supposed to be.’ People should be taking 20 minutes before you even think about touching another person.”

As valuable as wisdom from polyamorous and kinky communities might be, Wright admits it might be a tough sell in some jurisdictions, particularly their home province of Alberta. The government there is doubling down on legislation that allows parents to opt their children out of any lessons dealing primarily with human sexuality, gender identity or sexual orientation. The legislation also requires that the education ministry vet any resources or third-party speakers related to these topics. The current political climate doesn’t seem especially warm to celebrations of queer sexuality, especially kinky queerness.

Yet the ideas Wright is putting forward in the queer and trans sexual joy project would be equally applicable to straight people. The message of queer sexual joy could be particular empowering to straight women, who are on the front lines of grappling with porn-trained cis male sexuality. Is there really an argument against communication, safety and pleasure being important parts of a sexual experience? If people are having sex, why not give them the tools to have great sex?

eSIM SMARTS

You and your phone can both go on vacation…and sidestep the dreaded phone provider roaming charges

By Doug Wallace

Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash

We’ve all been there, turning on the roaming fees in a different country and paying the $15 a day – either by being lazy or indulgent or, in some cases, desperate for the phone to work. Happily, those days seem to be over, now that embedded subscriber identity modules are a thing of the present.

If you feel naked wandering around a foreign city without the guidance of your smartphone, an eSIM is for you. Gone are the days of the physical SIM card that you had to find at a convenience store or in the airport. With an eSIM, your phone is ready to work the minute you land – voilà!

An eSIM is a digital SIM card already embedded in your phone, a chip built into the hardware that connects you to a network at your destination. Phones newer than 2018 are compatible with eSIMs, if they are not locked to a particular carrier.

data. Plans are available by country from a few different suppliers, good for a simple weekend away or up to a whole year.

Airalo is one of the most widely known eSIM providers, offering plans in more than 190 countries. Holafly also has unlimited data plans in multiple countries. With Keepgo, their plans have no expiration, so you can keep using the data for a longer period of time, albeit sparingly. Nomad and FlexiRoam also make the list for convenient, flexible data plans.

The eSIM plans are data-only, so you have to use internet-based programs like WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger, which work like a charm.

When I was in Europe recently, I connected with a plan from GigSky, which offers service in almost 200 countries. “The difference between GigSky and most other providers is that GigSky is a Heavy MVNO – a mobile virtual network operator,” says Sam King, chief revenue officer with GigSky. “Other companies are primarily resellers of someone else’s eSIM.”

With GigSky, only one eSIM is ever needed, while other providers require you to download a new eSIM each time you want to visit a different country. “And as a network operator, we are also able to have our app act as a captive portal,” King says. “This means that our app is accessible at all times, even if you run out of data. That offers a lot of peace of mind for people when they are away.”

“ THE ESIM PLANS ARE DATA-ONLY, SO YOU HAVE TO USE INTERNET-BASED PROGRAMS LIKE WHATSAPP AND FACEBOOK MESSENGER, WHICH WORK LIKE A CHARM.“

As well, GigSky is currently the only company that offers single land-and-cruise eSIM data plans, for port-to-port service for cruisers. Rather than having to get an eSIM for each country or Caribbean island you sail to, you only need one. This costs about $45 for the one gigabyte of data for a week of port-hopping. You merely use the ship’s Wi-Fi while onboard, and the GigSky data will click in when you step on shore.

Speaking of which, you need to buy your eSIM plan at home using a secure and stable internet connection before you travel. The provider just emails you a QR code. You open the email on your laptop, scan the code with your phone and follow the steps to install and activate the eSIM. You can’t actually use it until you are physically at the travel destination. So on travel day before push-back, I turn off my Telus plan and turn on the eSIM plan, which I see in the Cellular settings.

In addition to no big roaming charges, eSIMs are also more secure than SIM cards, because there is no way to remove them. And similar to credit cards, eSIMs use advanced encryption techniques to protect user data and prevent unauthorized access.

We all know how much the 2SLGBTQI+ community likes to travel, so this is a win all around. All you need to do is buy a plan. But here’s the kicker – you will pay about $6 or $7 for one gigabyte of data, which – if you use Wi-Fi when possible – should last you about a week of fun in the sun or the ski slopes. You don’t really want to use it up video streaming or gaming, or you will run out of

King advises keeping an eye out for iSIMs – integrated subscriber identity modules – which will soon pave the way for smaller device connectivity. “iSIMs will lead to the creation of entirely new categories of connected mobile devices and drive the next wave of connected wearables in the consumer market,” he says.

In the future, frequent travellers using multiple devices – smart watches, smart luggage or other gadgets – may only need one global plan, staying connected like never before.

Patrik Simpson (left) and Pol’ Atteu

PAINTING THE SLOPES RED

RED Mountain is that inconspicuous yet top-level ski resort you didn’t know anything about – until now

By Doug Wallace

My room at The Josie Hotel is not yet ready, so I make my way to the Velvet Lounge – past tufted leather sofas, twig-laden chandeliers and bright red benches that resemble chairlifts.

On my stool looking out to the slopes of RED Mountain Resort, I can see a string of cylindrical outdoor saunas that look mighty inviting. There’s a ski concierge to my left, receiving the gear of a few people doffing their toques and calling it quits a bit early today. A singer in the corner is playing my favourite Stevie Wonder song, and life couldn’t be better at the moment in Rossland, B.C.

But it does get a lot better over the next few days, as I tackle the 119 runs – well, not all of them, actually – with my shiny new Ikon Pass, skiing with the “snow hosts,” checking out the on-mountain cabins, venturing out to snowshoe and warming up to après-ski firepits.

Tucked away in the Kootenays in the southern part of the province, RED Mountain is a bit of a hidden gem, not as crowded as other B.C. resorts – and that’s the way they like it. Being four hours southeast of Kelowna and two-and-a-half hours north of Spokane, it’s a commitment, but worth every effort. This unpretentious town, which began life as a gold-mining outpost, has a bit of a hippie vibe. Quaint and calm, it’s filled with people who live and breathe skiing, many of them seasonal die-hards or retirees from other provinces who have specifically moved here simply to ski.

The snow hosts are smitten with their job. They are a group of volunteers who lead group ski jaunts for a few hours each morning in exchange for an annual ski pass. This service is particularly handy for visitors who don’t know the mountain well as it helps them get the lay of the land, but it’s also a fun way to get the inside scoop on the resort and a tipsheet on the town.

There is little wonder why experienced skiers love it here. With more than 15 square kilometres of skiable terrain across four mountains, an average of almost eight metres of snow per year and a 915-metre vertical drop, RED Mountain has been quietly wowing visitors since 1947. Three main summits – Red, Granite and Grey – are serviced by six chairlifts, most of them cast-offs from other Western Canadian resorts (a fact no one gives two hoots about). A fourth mountain, Kirkup, is cat-ski accessible.

This all adds up to 360-degree skiing for skiers and snowboarders of all levels. When people ask me if I’m a skier, I say that I can ski and leave it at that. After a day, I’ve progressed from the green to blue runs, but am still too chicken to attempt the glades. During my stay, it snows an absolute ton one night, leaving a massive blanket of fresh snow that brings a smile to everyone’s face the next morning. It seems like the whole town takes the day off work, with no note from the doctor required. Everyone just gets it.

In addition to The Josie, RED Mountain has one of Canada’s few ski-in-only overnight accommodations. The eco-friendly Constella Collection is nestled on the back of Granite Mountain in the Paradise Basin, accessible via the chairlift for those who want to ski in, sleep in and ski out. Five cabins each sleep five people, with a sixth for just two. A shared central clubhouse sets everyone up for an evening meal and then breakfast before you head back down the hill.

Later, I make it into one of The Josie’s little wooden saunas, just as the afternoon sun is starting to fade (as are my quadriceps).

Extracurricular activity is encouraged

Popping about a dozen sandwiches in our bags, we make the 15-minute drive one morning to Rossland Range Recreational Site and strap on

Photos by Troy Nebeker-Tourism Rossland (opposite page and this page)

snowshoes for a few hours of exploring Strawberry Pass. Twelve trails here range in elevation from 115 to more than 1,000 metres, but we settle for the bare minimum. The first sign we come across says “Winter Trail to Booty Cabin,” which turns out to be sort of false advertising: Booty’s is one of 16 day cabins punctuating the route we’re on, not meant for the overnighting we were initially suspecting. We stop at Eagle Nest Cabin for our lunch, to find the fireplace still slightly warm from an earlier visitor.

Heading into Rossland itself, I find it almost Hallmark movie-ish, like a set for a small-town TV show. And, seriously, there are plenty of characters here to make a great cast. We find a few candidates at our first stop, the Rossland Beer Company. Locals and tourists alike pop in here for a pint, clustered around on wooden benches beside the beer vats, throwing back award-winning made-right-there beer. This hyper-local, no-fuss experience is a window to the heart of the town, as is nearby Gabriella’s Italian restaurant, a homespun comfort-food hub. An adjacent lounge is filled with people filling themselves with cheeseburgers.

During our week, we catch word that the unofficial slogan of Rossland is “A Drinking Town With a Skiing Problem,” but we know this is all in good fun. And yet Rafters, the pub in the attic of RED’s main lodge, is packed by 5 pm. Apparently, it has been nominated as one of the best après-ski bars in North America by USA Today’s Readers’ Choice travel awards. We sit down to fried comfort foods – my favourite! – and live music. One of the snow hosts is performing with his band in the corner, a sort of open-mic affair where each act is allowed a three-song set.

This is called the pub’s No Shower Happy Hour, and it is much sexier than it sounds – fit men in packs, jackets off, suspenders down, hair all messy, swilling beer. I have to be told to stop staring. One of the ski instructors takes a fancy to my friend and follows us around for a few hours afterwards. He’s cute, so we let him.

by

Scene at Rafters. Photo by Ashley Voykin

Photo

SpaTerre

DOUG WALLACE is an international travel and lifestyle writer, photographer and custom-content authority, principal of Wallace Media and editor-publisher of TravelRight.Today. He can be found beside buffet tables, on massage tables and table-hopping around the world.

Rossland Range Touring. Photo by Ashley Voykin – Tourism Rossland

Photo by Josie_Drone

FLASHBACK

The First Gay Sitcom Character Appears On TV: Archie’s Pal On All In The Family (February 9, 1971)

All In The Family premiered on January 12, 1971, and by the end of the year would become the most watched television show in the United States. The show, created by Norman Lear, also made history with one of its first episodes, “Judging Books By Covers,” which came early in the first season on February 9, 1971. In the groundbreaking episode, Archie Bunker (played by Carroll O’Connor) learns about judging people after incorrectly declaring that Roger (played by Anthony Geary), a seemingly effeminate friend of Mike and Gloria, is gay – only to discover that one of his own old football buddies, Steve (played by Phil Carey), is gay himself.

A large portion of the “Judging Books By Covers” is focused on Archie’s anger towards gay men – or, as he calls them a shocking number of times throughout the episode, fags. And then the audience is introduced to Steve, who – much to Archie’s shock and dismay – reveals that he is gay.

Steve, a masculine ex–professional football player, was the first gay male character to appear on a sitcom, and likely the first gay man many Americans had seen represented on television. The all-American character stirred controversy. Even then US President Richard Nixon was caught on tape calling out the All In The Family episode, bitterly complaining that it was “glorifying homosexuality.”

It was a one-shot guest role for Carey. But after that groundbreaking episode aired, similar representations of gay men on sitcoms would follow throughout the next decade on shows including The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Maude, Cheers and more.

All In The Family aired on CBS for nine seasons from January 12, 1971, until April 8, 1979, with a total of 205 episodes.

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