FAMILY
THE IMPORTANCE
OF PARENTAL SUPPORT DURING THESE CHALLENGING TIMES Pflag’s York Region president talks about the importance of the organization to LGBTQ families during the COVID-19 pandemic By Tristan Coolman
The past year in Canada has been tough for many of us. Some of us are isolated in our homes alone; some are living with family members and butting heads with them more often than a pair of mountain goats; others, also living with family, are avoiding those head-butts only because they have stuffed their queerness into the proverbial closet, waiting for the day when they can once again set themselves free.
access to chatting with us was still available – but the true power and essence of a Pflag meeting is the community. It’s being surrounded by affirming individuals who come not only to discuss their own challenges, but to support you with your own challenges in a judgment-free and safe peer-to-peer environment. We knew at the time there was no way to successfully replace the essence of in-person interaction and support.
Regardless of your lived experience, for queer people this has been a tough time – especially for those whose wellness relied on regular outings. Seeing friends in the flesh, going to a bar or club to feel that “thump thump” circa Queer as Folk reverberate through your chest, attending drag brunch, having a cup of coffee at your favourite local cafe or bookstore, and even accessing in-person or at-home support services…all that has changed.
Beginning in May 2020, despite the inability (or reluctance) of our elected officials to be up front about the anticipated length of the pandemic and its various restrictions and measures, we looked to history to provide a rough guide – and we knew we needed to pivot. We were not in this for a few months but likely a few years.
MARCH / APRIL 2021
Adaptation is the name of the game during the COVID-19 pandemic. Individually, we have had to adapt to ensure our personal wellness needs are met, and so have community support organizations. That includes our organization, Pflag York Region. This is a charitable organization, similar to Toronto Pflag, that serves a large geographic and population area. We are autonomous from the national Pflag team, but collaborate to ensure the essence of Pflag. Back in March 2020, before the federal advice and subsequent provincial shutdowns, my team at Pflag York Region had an idea of what was coming. At that time our volunteer-led organization knew we had a tough task ahead. Case counts were being reported regularly but a lot was not known about the novel coronavirus. We made the decision, in the interest of the safety of our community, to put a pause to our in-person “Coffee Night” support meetings. We are lucky enough to have a support phone line and email, so 16
IN MAGAZINE
We cancelled our in-person events for the year, including our Stand Proud York Region Gala – our biggest fundraiser of the year. We traded coffee carafes and cookies for a ticket on the Zoom train, and began to offer online meetings. Our autonomy from the national Pflag team allowed us to get online quicker than some other Pflag chapters, and they could learn from our lessons. The pivot online has allowed us and our attendees to remain connected with one another. We’ve done our best to create a safe online space for folks to join us twice a month, share any challenges they are experiencing, and find some form of comfort in the alignment we all have around the challenges the pandemic has brought us. Folks can join with or without video, with or without audio, customize their name or remove it completely, and provide their personal pronouns.
