INSIGHT
D I V O C GING
D U J
Getting over getting “over it”
“Disgusting you give us gay people a bad name,” wrote one commenter on a sexy Instagram photo of a West Hollywood nurse who posted photos from the New Year’s parties in Puerto Vallarta. For decades, gays have been known for craftiness with hair, makeup, “You’re truly nothing more than a plague rat.” fashion and décor. In the digital age, gays have also demonstrated a craftiness with memes…and the memes mocking a defiantly This quote struck me as something that might have been uttered non-socially distanced cruise loaded up with 60 partying gays that in the early days of the AIDS epidemic. Back then, it might have capsized off the coast of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, were delicious. been said by a homophobic straight person who saw gay sex as disgusting, but it might also have been said by a gay man who, My favourite was a comic strip featuring a cartoon hand labelled without fail, was celibate, monogamous or practised safe sex, and “Social Media” that, in the first panel, looked like it was reaching to severely judged those who didn’t exercise the same self-control. grab the hand of a person submerged underwater but then gave the For this “good gay,” anyone who did not exercise unfailing selfdrowning person a high five. Every shirtless gay on TikTok had an control was engaging not only in self-harm, but in a greater attack opinion. “I’m just confused how people can travel to Puerto Vallarta on the gay community. during a pandemic,” said @ericwillztt, “but meanwhile if I go to the grocery store and someone gets too close to me in the cereal aisle, I’m all like: [clip of hysterical Charlotte York-Goldenblatt pulling Carrie Bradshaw away from Mr. Big in the first Sex and the City movie].” By Paul Gallant
The ill-judged cruise was part of a series of New Year’s parties organized by Los Angeles-based Jeffrey Sanker, sometimes referred to as “the high priest of gay parties,” specifically circuit parties. Though the roots of circuit parties go back to before Sanker set up shop, he can be given credit for helping define the circuit aesthetic: pounding music in huge rooms filled with buff, shirtless men who rely on the music, and often drugs, to strip away sexual inhibitions and transport themselves to another state of being. The peer pressure to have a gym-built body, plus the high cost of tickets and travel, means that circuit boys tend to be in their 30s or 40s, with good incomes and the freedom to jet off on long weekends. Because circuit boys mostly tick all the privilege boxes, and because of the conformity of their hedonism, they are often the bête noire of the LGBTQ community, easy targets used to symbolize what’s deplorable in gay life. At least for the “good” gays. Because if Puerto Vallarta’s boating accident has taught us one thing, it’s that LGBTQ people can be more reckless – but also more uptight – than straights. We can be kinder but also meaner, more accepting but also more unforgiving. The global pandemic turned up the volume on this Jekyll and Hyde nature of gay culture. You’d think both sides would know better. 46
IN MAGAZINE
