Vol. 1 Issue 01 | $9.99NZ
We take a deeper look into the works of Belugum photographer Philippe Laruelle
PHILIPE LARUELLE(BE) JOHN KLAPHAKE (NZ) ANTO CAMACHO(ES) WAL CATTERMOLE(NZ) ANDY JACKSON(NZ) JOHN MEADOWS(NZ)
A U G U S T
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B I R T H D A Y
1st Edition!
E D I T I O N
"I dedicate this magazine to the most incredible girl I have ever known. My daughter"
05 Philipe Laruelle 11 John Klaphake 19 Anto Camacho 25 Wal Cattermole 29 Andy Jackson
BIRTHDAY
ISSUE
#1 37 John Meadows 44 Werner Kaffl 50 Dave Jensen 55 Mary Livingston 64 Geraldine Brenssell 65 Dave Vercoe
THE LAST OF THE INDEPENDENTS Welcome to the very first edition of InvokeMe Photography's publication InvokeMe Magazine. The magazine is an
industry 1st in may regards. Sadly, in this industry too many elitist are keeping good people and amazing work down to support the egos of an elite few. Today that is going to change. Today the people have a magazine, the people that have stories have a voice and will be filled with captivating content that will shine the light on the ones who deserve it not just a few that try to control it and this is their stories. Welcome to the birth of something
Real, something special.
Philippe Laruelle Belgium
Greetings I'm Philipe, a selftaught photographer, I am also a retired train attendant since 2015. Photography is for me and above all a personal means of expression, creation and pleasure. In addition to this, you need to know more about me and my works. When I am with my camera or on my computer busy editing, I enter "my world". A world where I often forget all the worries, a world that makes me travel & dream.
Often, I ask myself the question ... What is a beautiful photo? I always come to the same conclusion, it's a photo that tells me a story, which gives the illusion of simplicity, which often offers a particular emotion, a desire to travel or simply to help.
It is mainly with the photography of simple everyday moments that I manage to express myself best. My vision as a photographer certainly evolves with me, which leads me to work on new subjects all the time.
The reason why most of my photographs are in black and white, I cannot explain. Maybe black & white, because of its archival function, helped me rediscover times when I didn't really know who I really was. Subconsciously, it allows me to find myself and be myself.
I have a whole collection of photos, each more beautiful than the next; but what will I do with it. Keep them on my computer hard drive? At home, this is not the option that I prefer. I could sell them but I don't want to!
The option that I have chosen is that of sharing and humanism. The one where we give more than selling, the one where we give smiles, joy, where we help others and their fight like Ian Moone or Ana Lyubich.
"The one where we give more than selling"
Church of the Sacred Heart of Cointe in Liège. On the heights of Liège, in the district of Cointe, just next to the Interallied Memorial, you will discover this church which bears the name of the Church of the Sacred Heart and Notre-Dame-deLourdes. In Neo-Byzantine and Art Deco styles, its construction spanned from 1928 to 1936 under the control of the Belgian modernist architect Joseph Smolderen, who died in 1973. He also created the adjoining Memorial. This religious building was desecrated in 2010 and listed as a Walloon Heritage in 2011, the year it was put up for sale. Due to its state of degradation, access is prohibited. Frescoes of white birds have been painted on its rear façade. Great and impressive. Tongeren, the oldest city in Belgium 2000 years. The Beguinage of Tongeren is one of the oldest in Belgium. The original beguinage was found in the environments of the Kogelstraat. In 1257, a new beguinage was erected inside the new city walls. It tin a typical beguinage, which could be considered as a miniature city enclosed
Why photography? For me, simply a way like any other where I found a playful way to express myself. A way that prevented me from falling deeper into depression. A place where I feel good about myself and where I can express my feelings without having to be accountable to anyone. If you appreciate my photos, it warms my heart and in the opposite case, it motivates me even more to improve. Much more than just a means of expression. This allows me to travel literally and figuratively. Photo outings of course, but also a mental journey when I look at my shots, or during the moment of retouching in post-production (even days, months or years later). Memories, emotions come back to me, a way for me to travel in the past time and to project myself into the future.
The Calatrava station, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful stations in Belgium and Europe. Its futuristic architecture is a mustsee for tourists from all over the world. In the service of the population and its transport, I worked there for twenty years.
PHILIPPE LARUELLE
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John Klaphake A dedication
Photography has not always been in my blood. My first camera was a Samoca LE-II (my dad had a Samoca as well!). I bought this camera at a second hand camera store in Cuba Street in Wellington in the 1970s – I remember walking past this store most days of the week and checking the second hand cameras on display in the window. When that camera appeared in the window, it was just what I could afford from the proceeds of my after school job. I still have this camera and my dads! My first significant memory of taking photos was when I was at school, taking photos of rugby matches and running (read, a gentle walk!) up and down the sidelines taking photos, and then developing the film and printing at school. This was a baptism of fire in understanding aperture and exposure. Using a film camera you only learnt from your mistakes after the film had been developed. Some of these photos even made the school magazine. My interest in photography waned after that, perhaps it was the need to earn a living and attending university. Photography recaptured my soul about five years ago and with it re-learning, not only the exposure triangle, but also composition. What really inspired me was the dramatic and changing coastline around Wellington – I needed to capture and express it as I both saw and experienced it! From that time I have been absorbed by photography. I can't tell you the many, many hours spent watching other landscape photographers on YouTube, and then trying, repeating and, hopefully, succeeding.
What I've learnt from that process is that while repetition and copying is important to become technically proficient, it doesn't give you that 'x' factor. That 'x' factor comes from developing your own style, by understanding, experimenting and introducing your own feelings, emotions and soul into your work. And that is where I am now – experimenting, developing my own style and way of seeing the things around me. So, what is photography? My thoughts are still developing but I believe it is a tool, a means to record how we see the world, it is coloured with our beliefs, perceptions, understandings, and subject to ones' mood and feelings at a particular time. Thus, each photographer, and each person who views, will see and interpret a scene in a unique manner. However you describe photography, it is an art form designed to provide a sense of selfsatisfaction and to evoke a response. As photographers we are not just recording what we see, but also letting our photos express our feelings and perceptions at that moment. We are, in some ways, photographing ourselves. "A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed." – Ansel Adams I had been very lucky to have my mother as a critic. Every few days I would add images I had taken to a file sharing platform and she would eagerly await to see and comment on them. I took her comments seriously as mum was an artist with a keen eye for colour and composition. Her critiques were honest and to the point. If she thought they were good she would say so, if she felt there was something wrong I could also expect to be told.
Mum died earlier this year, but a month or so prior to her death she said, in a manner I had not expected, that she thought my photography, my eye for colour and composition had improved immensely from where I was a few short years ago. It is my intention to publish a calendar for 2022 in honour of the memories of mums who have passed and are missed. I've got no intention of doing 'mumsie' photos, but to continue to do the ones I know she loved and true to me as a photographer.
I think photography is an important medium to express emotions and feelings. If I am successful, the viewer of that image will also be able to share in that experience and mood. Images are not just a means to capture and present reality, but a way to share our emotions. I don't think images should necessarily attempt to tell the entire story. In some ways we are guiding our viewers on a path whereby they can continue our story and create their own narrative.
If there is one thing that has really been helpful to me as a photographer it is belonging to an community of like-minded individuals who are keen to share their insights and advice. We are not competitors. We individuals on our own journey but willing to share our insights and to grow in our understanding of the world about us.
"Have I reached my destination as a photographer? No, I'm only one day further along the road"
Anto Camacho Hello everybody. I am Anto Camacho, I live between Valencia and Castellón, in the Spanish Mediterranean. This is where I take 90% of my photos, a place that, while not having great landscapes, does provide us with some wonderful sunrises. I have always liked taking photos, but as a result of a personal problem I began to take it more seriously, since I used photography as a means of escape, so I started reading books and learning everything I could and taking photos whenever I could. . The problem was solved but the love of photography lasted until today. Even though I don't like to go to the beach to sunbathe. I am in love with coastal landscape photography. Going to sunrises on the beach is my way of connecting with myself and enjoying something that until then I did not value as it deserved: nature. Photography has taught me to value it, respect it, take care of it and, why not, enjoy it. I think it's reward enough for an introvert like me.
"I have always liked taking photos, but as a result of a personal problem I began to take it more seriously"
Wal Cattermole WAL'S STORY Through my eyes - The sun was rising. I was driving my truck through the McKenzie country heading back to Christchurch, it was 2005.As a line haul driver, I saw this landscape every day, this day was different. I came round a corner, the light and beauty spread out all around me was glorious. The landscape was a golden colour and the early morning sun was catching an old stone cottage that had partially fallen down. It was glowing in the warm light of dawn. As a Christian, I found this quite a spiritual experience, seeing the beauty of God’s creation. I realised that I needed to somehow capture it and share it with others. I needed a camera. When I got home from this journey, I told my wife Auriole that I wanted to buy a camera and take up photography. My first camera was a point and shoot Canon powershot 3.2-mega pixel camera and It travelled with me every day as I tried to capture what I was now seeing. I soon out grew that camera. I met a very experienced photographer who attended our church, he became my mentor and friend, he also introduced me to the local photography club (Christchurch Photographic Society) that met in our church every Wednesday night.
"I have always felt inferior to others and felt like I was never good enough"
It was great meeting with like-minded people. I spent the next few years trying to understand the ins and outs of photography and trying to get the camera to photograph what I was seeing. I found out that the more I learnt the less I knew. I had no interest in travel until I took up photography. Since then, we have travelled round New Zealand, spent a year in Britain, and travelled around Europe. I was photographing anything and everything but I soon realised that it was the old rustic buildings, rusty cars and old things that captured me, the grungier the better. The challenge for me is to bring these objects to life and to tell their story-so much easier to say than to do. When we came back to Christchurch I moved to another Club, Pixels, that met once a month and had online competitions. After this group closed, I went through a period of not really doing photography. I had lost my passion, felt that I was not good enough. Retirement changed that. I retired at the end of August 2020. A friend kept inviting me to a weekday photography group that he was running. I finally decided to go on one of the photowalks, hanging out with a great group of people, taking photos, chatting and having coffee. My passion for photography was coming back. What does photography mean to me? I have always felt inferior to others and felt like I was never good enough. It was during my downtime that realised a valuable lesson. Do not compare yourself or your photography to anyone else, but aspire to learn from others and be the best you can be. Most of all ENJOY YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY AND HAVE FUN. I now feel comfortable to take photos of what I “like and see” not necessarily what others see. Photography is a way for me to share what I see with others. I love getting with people like me and sharing what I know and learning from what they know. Photography is also a way for me to express who I am, and the way I see things is sometimes different from others, and that it is ok.
"Do not compare yourself or your photography to anyone else, but aspire to learn from others and be the best you can be"
Andy Jackson A look behind the photojournalist
My passion for still photography really started when I was in my mid 20's, I had borrowed my sister's 35mm film camera, following my mates riding motorcross bikes and playing rugby. I did a certificate of photography course at WITT in New Plymouth where I learnt the very basics of using a camera manually. From there I worked for years shooting all kinds of things like.... mainly weddings! 😂 You know, my sister's friends, my cousin's cousin, aunties best best friend, etc etc! After working for years as a hobby photographer with a full-time job I finally managed to land a role with The Taranaki Daily News, in my home province of Taranaki. This job taught me so much in a very short space of time, I was working alongside some amazing humans and skilled photographers who willingly shared their knowledge with me. Not only that but there is a legacy of amazing news photographers that have worked out of that office. The beauty of news photography in a beautiful region such as Taranaki, is you get to do a little bit of everything. General news, feature portraits, sport, events, hard news, landscape & lifestyle, you're dealing with different people from all walks of life, all day ,every day, so you learn to adapt and think on your feet pretty quick. No two jobs have ever been the same and just when you think you know how a partic ular job will go, a new angle would arise. It's not exactly a ground-breaking statement but news photography is really all about the people, every one of those people have a story to tell.
The job isn't for everyone and there are plenty of times I'd been assigned to photograph things I didn't want to. At the very top of that list were MVA's, (motor vehicle accidents). You'd be surprised just how many of these happen in a small province like Taranaki. On the flip side of that are the hundreds of people I have helped over the years, from bringing awareness to worthy causes, celebrating success, and helping the underdog, there have been many jobs I've been on which I'm proud of, and will never forget. As a news photographer it's incredibly important not to misrepresent the story, honesty, responsibility, accuracy, and truth are the backbone of photojournalism's code of ethics. The only post production manipulations acceptable are those that are used in darkrooms, a tweak of colours and contrast, dodge & burn and most importantly for me the crop. It goes without saying that just like in any form of still photography, light is the key, composition, backgrounds and angles are also hugely important, but I've always thought that anticipation, timing and persistence were equally as important to capture that great moment. I love how humans interact with the world around us. One of my favourite things to shoot when time allows is a cool looking building or scene. I set up where I think the best angle is and then wait with my shutter ready to capture whoever or whatever happens to cruise past.
"Behind my camera is my safe place"
Behind my camera is my safe place, I wouldn’t describe myself as an introvert, but sometimes I can feel a little awkward. When I have my camera in hand I'm on a mission, constantly looking for light, angles, moments, my shyness disappears, I have a job to do.
Visual storytelling is my passion. I'm privileged to have covered many local & national stories over the past 11 years including the Christchurch & Kaikoura earthquakes, Whakaari / White Island eruption, as well as having travelled on assignment to America, Australia & France. It's been an amazing ride so far but as I embark on a new journey in the freelance world, I can barely contain my excitement of what is ahead.
A police dog handler and dog search the Huatoki stream in New Plymouth.
Paige Hareb
"I would like to take a moment to thank Andy Jackson for his dedication to photojournalism and also for being a supporter of one of our programs in the past in his capacity as a photographic journalist reporting on SouperVan the meals service that we did in total over 4000+ meals with no funding Thank you for your help Andy and for the dedication to the craft'
John Meadows Journeys As the saying goes, ‘A journey starts with a single step’. So it has been for me with photography, that first step started at a very young age playing around with my mums Box Brownie and a Kodak Anastigmat folding bellows camera. There was a mysticism about these contraptions that captured ‘Moments in Time’ ( a title I recently coined for presenting images for my portfolio in a short video).
Teenage years through to late 20’s the camera’s captured my many pre ‘Adventure Tourism’ activities, including tramping/mountain climbing, sailing and even strapping a ‘Super 8’ cine camera to my hang glider and then sailing through the Western Pacific for 6 months. All the time capturing ‘Moments in Time’. Where upon I invested a deal of precious funds to buy a Minolta XG2 with multiple lenses, filters and power winder.
There was no sudden profound revelation that piqued my interest, just this growing fascination, until one Birthday or was it Christmas, my parents gave me the originalKodak Instamatic which had a small pocket ‘Pop-up’ flash holder that you inserted a single bulb that literally melted when fired.
I needed to recoup these outlays and managed to secure a Photographers role at a Studio in the Hutt Valley New Zealand, part time. Still, I was now doing the work in the ‘Dark Room’ and shoots of weddings, conferences, still life and the occasional animal assignments, at last! Alas the studio closed down, so back topersonal stuff. That said, they recorded adventures in Sri Lanka and India and the Pacific Islands.
Pyrotechnics! From then on a camera of some sort was always close by. So much so that all I wanted to do after leaving school at 15 yrs was to become a Photographer. However, not being sufficiently qualified inscience and maths (for mixing chemicals and calculations) the position I sought at the then National Film Unit proved beyond my reach.
Roll the clock forward to the digital era and some of the first ‘Point and Shoot’ cameras (Fujifilm S3000, 3 MP) were carried on my person. The ‘Dream’ had never left. Until this digital era most of my images were mainly landscapes, sports adventure activities and the like, little of ‘Real’ aestheticism or of a storytelling nature. Then came the DSLR in the form of another Fujifilm product the S1 andeverything changed at this point. Having been involved 30 odd years ago, owning a Promotional Advertising company specialising with the mainstream Advertising and Marketing media the creative side of my character remerged and I LOVED it. Now, having retired and treating myself to the amazing Fujifilm XT-3, the cameras are with me when at all possible capturing images of landscapes, Astro, Abstract, Still Life, Wildlife and pressing into Fine Art and commissions. For the first time I now have pieces displayed at an exhibition with 2 Professional Photographers at a ‘Fine Dining’ establishment and a Creative Arts Centre, plus being a featured artist in an upcoming ‘Arts Trail’ exhibition. I am now really ‘Living the Dream’ from the childhood. The journey continues, steps are still being taken and I am about to launch my ‘End Game’. Ian’s (Moone) brief was to also speak of ‘What motivates me’, the deep reason of WHY I do this. In today’s world it maybe Politically Incorrect to speak of it but, at the age of 30 I became a ‘Born Again’ Christian and as a consequence I have visited places where there is abject poverty, such as India, Burma, some of the Pacific Islands, witnessing this changes you as I dare say many reading this will also know. I also know the effects of abuse and being the object of bullies, that too changes you too. Loving others by being kind, helping others in distress, just like our Ian does makes a difference to each one we serve.
I am currently helping others to heal emotionally at a rehabilitation centre, speaking into there lives. Loving others is motivation for me particularly having served with the Salvation Army on the Streets and providing help at community meals in the Hutt Valley to those in need.Some might already be thinking, ‘what has this to do with photography’. For me it is simple, EVERYTHING in creation is a masterpiece of design and beauty but unfortunately so much has been abused by humanity and humanity is currently paying the price for this. I seem to have the tendency to reveal in my images, as best as able, vistas with the minimum of manipulation, or, ‘As we see it’. As photographers, each one of us can make a difference by recording both ‘Moments in Time’and the aesthetic, to educated, reveal, heal and motivate others. To this end I will soon be launching what I call my ‘End Game’. Is is called ‘The Vine Connection’ (on Facebook).I will continue be producing images of God’s creation through Capturing Kapiti & Beyond (on Facebook andYouTube), but also adding motivational quotes and Wisdoms to bring Hope, Love, Joy, Peace and even Humour for others surroundings. So, if even one person experiences a response from any of these through my work, then I consider that I have fulfilled part of my purpose for being on this planet at this time. I would like to thank Ian Moone for the opportunity and incredible privilege to record this, my journey and a sample of my work in this new magazine. If it had not been for his encouragement and initiative I would not be here. Each of us, in our own way can be an influence in others lives in their own journeys, through this powerful medium. A final thought for me to leave on, my Life motto is this, ‘Life is an Adventure, Embrace it with Vigour’. Here is to many more of these for both me and I hope for you likewise.
"Life is an Adventure, Embrace it with Vigour"
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Werner Kaffl
What I do and the reasons behind it
First of all, photography is a very personal thing for me. My images don’t necessarily reflect everyone else’s reality. Everyone’s reality is different in any case, so I show people my personal reality rather than complying with certain sets of rules. Photography in general is a very wide field, and most photographers pick only a small portion. They specialize in what they really like. This small portion might also change over time.
I believe this time led the way to my photography and many related things like making my own props and all sorts of other things. Interesting is, even though I spent considerable time in my parents’ darkroom, I wasn’t much interested in photography itself, apart from the pure technical aspects – Well, even a point and shoot camera in this time costed a fortune.
Here is my personal story, which does have some major twists and detours. Best I start at the beginning. I was born on 23/02/1965, close to Munich, Bavaria, Germany.
So I steered my creative bursts into affordable directions, like making models and drawing. In the 1970s I started to build my own, AmericanChopper-like bicycles, mainly from scrap parts. Having a blacksmith in the neighboring village meant, I really constructed and built, not just assembled.
My mother was an immigrant from Croatia. She had a formal apprenticeship as a photographer. In that time they used mainly b&w film, but still also those old wooden boxes with a glass sheet in the back. She never worked in that field since I and my sister needed her full attention – This was in the mid 1960s, the reality at this time in Germany.
American Choppers were sort of popular in magazines during that time. They were usually elaborately painted with airbrush. Airbrushing was a popular photo retouching method as well, when my mum had her apprenticeship. So I learned a lot in that regard from her. I started to paint my friends’ motorcycles, my bikes, motorcycle helmets, surfboards.
My dad became a SLR enthusiast when I was around 6-7 years old. He also had his own little electrician company, rented a workshop area in Munich and used parts of it for his hobby and as a darkroom area. This workshop and my dad’s general craftsmanship were to become very important for me.
This time taught me a lot about using layers, which became very important to my editing processes in Photoshop some decades later.
Well, since his company was only starting up, there wasn’t much money. My dad was born in 1942, we don’t know where, and was adopted during WW2. He only learned of this some 10 years back and is still looking for his real family. This combination of facts meant, we didn’t have much money to spare for holidays or toys. Pencils and paper were affordable though, and, according to my parents, I used up the first pencils before I could even walk (my sister saved some of my first drawings). Since I was about 6 years old, I started to accompany my dad in his workshop whenever I could. His mentality was, as an adopted war kid, “if you want something, just make it”, and “don’t buy stuff until you can spare the money”. So basically he showed me how to use tools, wood, etc, to make my own toys.
Another important piece of the puzzle was me being sort of a loner. When all my friends were out together, I preferred to wander around in the nearby woods on my own, discovering nature and details around me. I believe, this keeping to myself in an early age later lead to a very real depression – or the other way around, I’m not sure. Depression and creativity seem to be linked though. I see both in many of my friends. I left school, had an apprenticeship as an Electrician, started smoking and drinking. After 15 years I finally managed to stop drinking, had another apprenticeship as an IT Systems Administrator, became a Systems Engineer. Anyway, as you can see, I’ve always been a creative and technology-interested person. But curiously I still wasn’t much interested in photography.
This changed in 2000, when I bought my first digital camera. A Sony Powershot, I think 1.4 megapixels. I literally snapped everything, to a point when I really, really annoyed people around me. During this time I found my eye for details. I got the next level camera, then the next and so forth. My major subject was nature, trees, certain light, water, and I think I separated myself more from society. In 2008 I decided, I can’t stand this crowded Europe anymore. Germany had a population of 82 million back then, NZ some 4 million – within a not so much smaller area. So I decided to leave. My then-wife (number 3 btw, but that’s another long story) stayed back, with her kids, and got back together with her ex. I then came to Wellington in 2010. Here things were so much different, including the colors and light. Sadly, European and US mentality slowly took over here too, and I watched the same mess-ups all over again, resulting in the same problems –people obviously hate to learn from others’ mistakes. But that’s also another story. So, finally in a place with much more real nature, I finally took the step to DSLR cameras, this was 2015 or so. Starting low and working my way up to higher levels. My Depression got so bad that I couldn’t work anymore, at least for a while. This wasn’t “free time”, it was actually “healing time”. People wo understand depression know what I mean. I just took my camera on some long walks, pointing them at details I saw, etc. This did help my healing. Being an immigrant, I saw much of my surroundings like a tourist does. This resulted in people asking me where some of those locations in my images actually were. Many of those were spots those very people passed on a daily basis. Being new to an area can show perspectives others take for granted or are so used to them that they don’t really see them anymore. My photography started to specialize. I always liked challenging lighting, darkness, twilight, and most of all the ocean, since there’s no ocean where I came from. Especially in weather conditions when everyone else stays indoors. I think my stormy-seaphotos are by now something like my signature style.
I also did some portrait and fashion stuff in professional environment. I did some behind-thescenes stuff in small movies, have been an extra in TV and movies and ended up making movie props in a famous company. I do people photography very rarely now. Only when I really feel like and when there’s a connection between the subject and me. It shows in an image if photographer and model don’t “click”.
"I see myself still as that famous lone grey wolf" I do like to re-create some movie scenes in a photo. Not making a copy, but rather creating it the way I personally see a particular scene. Then I employ pretty much all my skills, from doing the lighting I want to achieve, to making the props needed, to editing the particular mood I want to achieve in Photoshop. Many of my images show some sort of otherworldly scenes, which can only be achieved via composite imaging. Those images seem to be my second signature style. Photography, for me, is not just taking photos. It’s more like employing all my available skills to communicate a certain mood, feelings or level of reality I experienced when creating that image. Some of my composite images have a couple of years between the single shots they consist of. This happens when I go through my archives and suddenly see a connection between some of those images. Then I create a whole new world. The red lines throughout my life seem to be my connection to nature, the connection to all sorts of technology, and my rather limited interactions with other people, as well as some long phases of depression and even addiction. I was a loner, I guess by choice, when I was a kid, and I see myself still as that famous lone grey wolf. I believe that’s how I can explore my creativity in the most efficient way possible. And that’s why I allow people to see the world through my eyes.
Just breathe
"We are all on a journey"
David Jensen Wellington
I started my photography journey about 6 years ago when I had the chance to go to Thailand kid free for 10 days! Not wanting to be one of those people on holiday with a selfie stick and cell phone I decided about a month before I went to purchase an entry level Nikon D3200 and kits lense. After watching a few YouTube videos. I went straight to Manual Mode and shoot only RAW. I have never used Aperture or Shutter priority or any other modes on any camera as I find them too restrictive. I found the quickest way to learn was dive into the deep end! I studied photography about 30 hours a week for 3 years on top of a full-time job. This helped me accelerate my skills fast. After I came back and put my photos on Facebook, everyone commented how great they were and that me thinking maybe I had an artistic streak and natural talent towards photography. My whole family is artistic in some way, my dad a country and western singer and my mother a painter. Maybe I had the genes. After that I met other photographers that were part of a fashion collective that worked with makeup artists and models. I was invited in and quickly made friends and was able to learn from other photographers about portraiture and lighting. It was great experience and I would recommend if anyone gets the chance to learn from such a group, they do it. After a couple of years perfecting my skills, I was asked to photograph a wedding. I was extremely nervous as I only had an entry level camera and lenses. I took the job and headed to Hawkes Bay.
"I work in a technical industry, I find photography a great escape"
I learned a valuable lesson as why photographers recommend two cameras, as I dropped my camera on the concrete very early in the morning. Lucky it survived! You cannot reshoot a wedding. I have done several weddings now and even though they are high pressure and high stakes. I enjoy it and I always take two cameras. Then I went a Mark Gee Astro workshop here in Wellington and caught the “Astro bug”. There was something about standing under the stars, trying to capture what my eyes could see. It was a lot harder than expected and it forced me to start using the editing program photographers often fear. Photoshop. It was the only way to blend foreground and sky together. I have been doing Astro ever since and I find it challenging every time I go out. I try and push myself and my gear to the limits. I recently purchased a star tracker so I look forward to mastering longer exposures. Mostly I photograph landscapes, I enjoy the travel to location as I find its quite calming and gets me away from the hustle and bustle of suburbia. Being a natural introvert, I find landscape photography is the perfect escape. Its very peaceful enjoying a beautiful vista and being alone in the moment. Next year I would like to go travel around some more and do an Astro trip down the South Island and get some snowing winter landscapes. Its also great for Astro down south as the skies are dark and little to no light pollution. I have also purchased some new studio lighting and would like to get back into modelling and portraiture. Why do I do photography? Well, I guess I find it relaxing and since I work in a technical industry, I find photography a great escape. I can imagine my photography journey will last me my lifetime as I strive to push the boundaries of my gear and my creative self. As I say to anyone wanting to learn, get out there and shoot.
Mary Livingston I have always loved the sea. Its beauty, its power, its colour, its sound. As a child I spent endless summers of the previous century living and breathing the sea and all its moods in the UK Channel Islands. I dreamed of what I could do as I grew up that would keep me always closely connected to the sea. At 10 years old when I was asked to deliver a message to the Institute of Oceanography located next to my school in Surrey. In the entrance hall was a floor to ceiling image of the deep ocean. Intensely blue and vast I was immediately transfixed and set on a pathway that would lead to a fantastic career in ocean science that brought me to New Zealand in 1976. So what about the photography? Photography was an emerging art form when I was little and I loved taking images with my kodak brownie whenever I could. I even tried to be creative with it all but the technical aspects of the craft took the edge off it. I continued to dabble with it while juggling study, family, career, and the occasional notions of music, but it wasn’t until I hit my 50s that I returned to photography with some resolve. My house was burgled and my little point and shoot camera was stolen. I decided I really wanted to give photography another crack. The thing was I had also been battling a long bout of depression and needed to find something that I could immerse myself in…. something I could go to quickly whenever I felt myself slipping. So I purchased a serious camera. It worked. Exploring the world around me as if I had never seen it before brought such unexpected joy. Photography has become a major passion, a way of life, and has given me the where-with-all to get through life’s pitfalls. Add a little bit of When Ian asked me if I would like to write something and send in some images for his magazine, I was thrilled to be asked, but also supremely anxious! What should I write about? What should I share? There are so many incredible photographers out there. I have chosen a collection of favorite images that reflect the heart of my journey. I hope you enjoy them.
The wild sea Living on the edge of Cook Strait where tidal and weather extremes combine with tall cliffs and inaccessible beaches provides some amazing opportunities to simply be in the moment and admire the forces around me. The winter storms can bring huge waves from the Antarctic that take my breath away. T hey are challenging, fast and dangerous, and they push my photographic skills to the limit. [Big wave] Then all in a moment the scene becomes silent and a mist blurs the morning light [blurry sunrise] Landscapes of Aotearoa I love to understand the place that I live in and New Zealand has so much to learn about. It is very different from where I grew up, and the landscape has a raw untamed quality to it. I think about how we humans have changed it, but I feel the bones are still here. The curve of the land, the stillness of the forest, the breath of spirits whispering in the sands, the growl of tectonics that jostle the earth under our feet. [Farewell Spit sand dunes] [River of gold] [Forest epiphytes] [Wheat harvest] Living and surviving in Wellington When I first arrived here the city felt far-flung and isolated from my version of the real world. Social activities and night life for a young student to participate in were almost non-existent. I wrestled with being so far from the familiarity of England and was ill-equipped for life down under. Unsettled periods of mental health followed that threatened to break me. But then, look at the light cascading in through the window at the rehearsal for my daughter’s wedding [Wellington Rowing Club]. See the raindrops create their patterned menisci on the glass roof [Rain]. Wait. There is an unexpected landscape right there on an old wharf pile [Abstract seascape on wood]. I love this place. It has made me whole.
I am older now. The abyss still hovers occasionally and I do wonder how it will be. One day there will be a bridge to cross. Will it be like the one here on the rooftop of central New Zealand [Bridge in evening light]? Who knows. But today my eyes are bright and the pathway strong. I have met so many different people who have shared their stories with me. I have been inspired by so many artists who have taught me how to be in the moment and how to weather the storms. But most of all I have learnt how to bring joy to someone’s day and this more than anything gives purpose to my existence. How grateful I am to be able to feel that. I must go now, for there is a tide to catch and a breeze full of promise! Farewell fond reader. I hope we meet one day upon the shores of time. I will be the one with the camera and a big smile. Mary Livingston lives with her Japanese husband and beloved family pooch in Wellington. She is an amateur photographer who follows her photography passion outside her full time marine science work. Her family are amazingly supportive (considering how seriously she has eaten into the family coffers) so long as she does not post images of them online!
"this more than anything gives purpose to my existence"
"Living on the edge of Cook Strait where tidal and weather extremes combine with tall cliffs and inaccessible beaches provides some amazing opportunities to simply be in the moment"
y r Ma ton
t s g n i Liv
Geraldine Brenssell Single Image Highlight
Dave Vercoe So a little bit about myself… I’m very fortunate to live in New Zealand and more so to live on the Kapiti Coast. I’ll digress slightly to add that my wife and I brought a property in a little wee place called Inchbonnie. We treat it as an artist getaway at the moment and it is as much as it has no reception and no wifi – so it is wonderful and peaceful. But I do digress. I was born in Blenheim in 1978 and my family gradually moved to Christchurch and then further south to Dunedin. In Christchurch when I was a teenager I found this wonderful thing called a camera and a dark room… All at my local High School!! I loved it.Film and the graft. And the graft just made it more wonderful. I would walk around the local Churches and take photos all in Black and White. And then tramped with it and then walked around the city with it… But we moved to Dunedin and the local High School did not have the room for editing or a dark room or cameras and being lower middle class we couldn’t afford a camera so I quietly dropped it and life moved on. I met my current wife (again) and we started dating and I then moved to Christchurch to follow her and was fortunate enough that work let me do so. We then moved around Christchurch, flat to flat, around Rangiora and Ashburton before my wife finished her Masters in Zoology and she then had a job offer in Wellington. So we moved there. Eventually landing in the Kapiti Coast at our first house and we haven’t moved since. Over the years (about 13) I gradually started to gain interest in photography but could not afford the gear so again I quietly let it go and moved on.
Some time later our house was broken into and we had some precious things (irreplaceable things) taken from us. Our Insurance company was fantastic and very fast and very much attentive. My wife said to me or was it I said to myself?..Perhaps you should go and get this camera? And a tripod and a bag and get stuck into it? I needed no further prodding! And my hobby was set alight again! I guess I class myself as an amateur wanderer/photographer? I love to get out walking/tramping with my camera in its bag and tripod at hand. Getting feet dirty. Getting my camera sprayed with salt water. Almost falling off cliffs or down ravines or from the top of waterfalls OR into waterfalls 😊 Again I love it. Call me mad but I think this is all of us? Once we get the sniff of it we ARE OFF! And that is me. Into my car and gone for the day somewhere! My wife accepts it or puts up with it… This is why we have tolerated each other for 30 plus years – yes we met in Blenheim as children and never let go of each other. My wife.. Without her I wouldn’t be the person I am today really and that is being perfect honest – she is an artist in her own right and I marvel at the work she does.. Again I digress.. My main focus as a Photographer is Landscapes but I have done shoots with people (yes people!) but it doesn’t quite do it for me. I am lucky enough to travel the Lower North Island with my normal full time job and my camera comes with me. Sometimes I am late to appointments… 😉 I’m buoyed by the love of it and by the love of my friends and family. This is what drives me. This is what keeps me somewhat sane and in check.. I hope you like what you see and I thank Ian for the opportunity to let us “regular” folk speak up and showcase our work. For he is one of my friends who drives me and encourages me.
16 Hamilton Street, Hokitika 7810
www.bonz-n-stonz.co.nz
Karolina Ferbei Makeup Alexandra Ohagan
Model: Lisa Videlier
Dhiya Redding Images by: - Shahn Redding
Speaking from the heart doesn't always come easy, unless, like most things, it is practised often. I am truly honored and feel blessed to be given such an opportunity in this medium. Being pretty and desirable in the eyes of the media that I grew up with in the 90's imprinted on me largely and silently and of course onto millions of other women in that era. can only speak for myself, however, we are now 100% certain these words resonate with most people in this commercialised world. I had never ever fit into the supernatural beauty standards that still stand today in many ways - the height, smile, weight, skin colour. Barbies were my best friends and beauty pageants where India won the Miss Worlds and Miss Universes were my goal. Fast forward 27 years later and I am 33. I am a wife and I am a mother of 2 children, sporting the postpartum waist and tummy that I should be proud of - as I hear time and time again. I am still trying to find my place in this world. For myself and for my kids most importantly. The best place to start, I have decided, is from a place of doing what I love. Acting is one of them, dancing is another and modelling is the other one, but it's the very confusing one. Confusing because I enjoy being in front of the camera and using my body to create shapes, but I don't enjoy not being seen as "beautiful" in the eyes of the accustomed beauty standards that I don't fit into.
Model
Which begs me to look deeper and ask myself why do I want to be seen as beautiful in the first place by others and not only by myself. Obviously, it's because of the low-self worth, the not feeling good enough, the needing of some sort of validation, etc, etc that has plagued my subconscious mind since I was a little Indian girl growing up in a light-skinned dominated world. I have realised though, that in order for modelling to be satisfying for me, it needs to be more than just a beauty shoot, more than just looking pretty for the camera and doing pretty and feminine and sexy poses to please the male population and make females want to try to attain some sort of unattainable beauty standard. It needs to be filled with substance. I want to be a part of projects that are meaningful and have a deeper purpose, so each shot has an intention that is coloured by a story and speaks like a soul-enriching poem. Projects and shoots that are lifting the spirits of this world. There are people already doing this out there and I bow to them for forging new paths, opening minds, opening hearts and helping our new generations understand that we are all good enough and that the beauty we are born with couldn't be more perfect.
KEEPING IT REO RADIO SHOW Image by InvokeMe Photography
10:15-10:45am -Wednesdays 104.4 FM Access Radio Taranaki Te reo mō te hapori Language for the community
Christina Amer Model Images by: Kathryn Louise Photography
Before I started modeling over four years ago, I didn’t particularly like who I was as a person or like my body. I didn’t have any hobbies and had no idea what to do with my life. I struggled with anxiety and felt like a burden. I fell into modeling through a friend and instantly loved it. It lit a spark in me I didn’t know I had. I kept modeling and meeting new people to work with and slowly my self confidence and anxiety started to get better. However in the last couple of years my anxiety came back in full force when I discovered I had some fertility issues. (I had two miscarriages). I was later diagnosed with severe endometriosis, which has caused my fertility issues and many other problems including intense pain. This all made me not like my body anymore and I was in a rough place for a while. But I kept up with modeling because during a photoshoot I felt completely free and was able to keep my creative juices flowing, which helped me feel better in that moment. I worked on myself alongside modeling and eventually started to feel better about myself and the situation. It helps me a lot to look through photos from shoots and see how far I have progressed as a model. I’m so thankful to everyone I have met and worked with.
Now I can truly say I’ve left my bumpy past behind me and have accepted myself/body for who I am, endometriosis and all! And I have a much more positive outlook on life. I am on the waiting list for fertility treatment and until that time come’s I’m excited to see where modeling will take me next. The possibilities are endless! I hope my story inspires others who are struggling in life. No matter what is happening we always have a choice. I hope more people take the leap and do something they didn’t think was possible. If you had asked me over four years ago if I thought I could have been a model I would of said no, but here I am!
Charlotte E. Johnson #2 Photo Sneek Peek
Eloise (creative lighting photoshoot) Model: Eloise Egbers (@violet.femmes) Hair & Makeup: Laura Macdonald (@miss_powdered_primrose) Photography, retouching & creative direction: Charlotte E. Johnson (@cej.photo) Laura (Halloween photoshoot) Model, styling, accessory design: Laura Macdonald (@miss_powdered_primrose) Makeup: Sinead Dudley (@beautede_vie) Photography, retouching & creative direction: Charlotte E. Johnson (@cej.photo) Natalie (part of a set on the theme of mental health) Model, hair and makeup: Natalie Thomas (@vintageaddictdiary) Assistants: Laura Macdonald (@miss_powdered_primrose) & Viviane Castro (@misscherryseptember) Photography, retouching & creative direction: Charlotte E. Johnson (@cej.photo)
"More from Charlotte next edition"
Cafe Green Door 17 Brougham Street, New Plymouth
06-7599399
Ana Lyubich How did Excio come to be? I started Excio as a frustrated photographer as I simply couldn’t find a suitable platform, one fully dedicated to amateur photographers, where I could publish my work. Instagram didn’t appeal to me as I felt like my photos were mixed in with snapshots of hair, nails, and bodybuilding to say the least. Meanwhile, photography magazines had all different kinds of advertising – from wine brands to cleaning companies so I instantly felt it was all about making money with nothing to support photographers. That got me thinking about what I felt was wrong and how I would like to have my photos displayed – at any time to anyone with a simple action, even if I didn’t have Wi-Fi connection. Together with my partner who is an avid programmer, we developed the concept that with the Excio app on your phone, you could start seeing photographs from your own collections or people you follow right on the home screen of your mobile device and it would change automatically. Once built, the Excio app download numbers grew pretty quickly, we're now up to 230,000+ downloads but the journey didn't end there. We had our founding members who joined our journey even before the app was live and quickly realised there are a lot of people who would love to be on the journey with us and that’s how Excio continued evolving into a community with added online portfolios, challenges, forum, blog and publications. I love to see the work of other photographers on my home screen so much that ironically I only published my own first collection last month! There was (and still is) a lot of hard work going on behind the scenes – I didn’t have any experience in UX or UI design (or any design!) but we designed and developed the app ourselves simply because we were very passionate about creating a place, a platform to showcase talented photographers. We continue doing everything from scratch, designing, developing, and programming simply because we are not satisfied with what there is on the market. The goal has always been to put those photographers into the spotlight that didn’t have that option before or didn’t think their work is good enough. It doesn’t matter to us whether photographers are professionals or amateurs as long as they are passionate about what they do. Tell us about the ‘responsible photography’ principles – what it is and how does it work? Being a responsible photographer simply means showing care and respect when taking photographs. It never made any sense to me how photographers could irresponsibly take and share photographs without thinking about the consequences. One local spot shared on Instagram with the exact location could lead to thousands of tourists heading there (pre-Covid) just to achieve that shot 'for the gram’ even if it meant damaging the local ecosystem in the process. Some photographers go even further and try to ‘create a scene’ by breaking tree branches, torturing animals, or disrespecting local culture and traditions for that ‘perfect’ shot. At Excio we are lucky to have like-minded members who follow the same ‘responsible principles’ as we do and we even partnered with the Nature First organization to spread the idea even further. We also support the promise of Tiaki and remind our members about responsible photography principles at every opportunity.
How would you describe your photography style? I love macro photography. I have always been slightly short sighted and I remember as a kid I could see things much clearer up close and would notice things that other people totally overlooked. I am pretty sure that's what sparked my love for macro photography as I can see and show through my lens an exciting world that most people just don’t tend to notice. I also love still life photography including flowers but I am trying to bring a creative angle to my floral shots. I also quite enjoy capturing authentic portraits - shots where people don’t know they are being photographed and so their emotions are real and indeed raw. Do you ever have self doubts as a photographer and how do you overcome that? Of course! Like many photographers and creatives in general I am never satisfied with my own work and feel it is not good enough. I never enter any competitions or awards with my photographs simply because I don’t have (and don’t want) to prove anything to anyone. If people like my work that’s great and if not – that’s ok too, everyone has a different taste. I often have ups and downs with inspiration. Sometimes it strikes and I feel like taking my camera out but on other days (most of the time) unfortunately my camera just sits in the back. I am a strong believer though that we have to push ourselves more often to take more photographs as that’s how we grow – with practice. So don’t follow my example here – grab your camera and venture out! As much as I love learning from other fellow photographers I most enjoy spending my time with camera on my own (it happens very rarely!). Motivation can come from all places and it is important to have different options up your sleeve so if I'm struggling to come up with new ideas I'll try aromatherapy, or music, or read photography news (not camera reviews though, more like Boredpanda!) and if that doesn’t help then surely going out on a photo walk will actually force me to take my camera out of the bag and start ‘shooting’! There is a lot of talk about women in the photography industry and associated stereotypes. What are your thoughts on that? I see the world the way I see it, not because I am a woman, but because I am my own unique individual. Personally, I always follow my intuition and gut feeling for every shot and I am a strong believer that you don’t need to have all the latest gear – you don't even need a DSLR, you can take your photos on a mobile as long as you love what you see on your screen as a result. I had no idea about stereotypes until I started working on Excio. Talking to a lot of people and having meetings, I couldn’t believe the stereotype ‘photography is for guys’ still exists. Come on! We are in the 21st century. Yet at some meetings, I sadly felt myself ignored if there were two other men present and at some walks (those not organised by Excio!) you could see how guys ‘dominated’ the group with their talk, gestures, and behaviour in general - you could see they were saying ‘I have a bigger lens and I know all about the latest cameras and how they work and you have no idea what an ‘f’ means in photography so…. Get lost.’
That environment definitely didn’t make me feel comfortable and I wanted to do something with Excio to help more women become confident photographers, be inspired, and share more of their work. I am very proud that at Excio we have at least a 50/50 ratio of our male/female members. Pre-covid we even had a dedicated event ‘Photography For Women’ which our female members just loved. I don’t want our support of female photographers to be just buzz or to use it as a cover for something else We are planning to have a dedicated section on our website soon specifically for women in photography who want to stand out and share their story. What advice would you give to young photographers who are just starting out? Photography is the best thing you can do, honestly! Start with whatever camera you have or even your phone. The feeling of capturing the moment and being in that moment is truly rewarding. Bringing your vision to life, being able to communicate your thoughts and ideas without words it is a great talent, a sixth sense I would say and it opens up a whole new world to you. You start seeing things from a different perspective and it is very exciting. Don’t compare your work with other photographers. You can learn from others for sure but try develop your own style. Try different genres until you find what really draws you in and pursue that. What is next for Excio and yourself? Excio has become a part of our family, like a true child that is growing, developing, and becoming independent but there is still a lot of work to be done. Last year, thanks to Covid, we actually started hearing from a lot of our photographers that they would like to sell their work. Trying to answer their questions about the best platform to sell on we discovered that most big international giants like Shutterstock, Getty Images etc actually pay peanuts for photographers’ work – as low as $0.10 meaning they don't care about their photographers at all. It absolutely didn’t make any sense to me and so, having seen the gap in the industry, I thought we could do better with the support of our amazing talented New Zealand photographers. We are working on launching our own marketplace this coming September. We launched the beta version of it earlier this year (www.excioshop.io) and developed our own FairShare™ photography principles committed to sharing 50% of the gross revenue with the photographer and also from our side, donating 10% to a good cause. We are still working on how to make our marketplace even fairer there is a lot of excitement in the air, so watch this space!
"The team at InvokeMe wishes Excio the very best in all endevours supporting photographers" Check out some of the images from Excio founder Ana Lyubich below
Photo Community Want to know more? Find out.
www.excio.io
Luke Goodall #3 Image mini spread
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Robert Nelson My first (19-year) career - which, for the most part, I really enjoyed - was as a printer. On my first day I was put to work on a hand-fed press that looked like it came from pre-history; and could produce 500 impressions per hour. Learning my craft as a hand-fed letterpress printer during the first part of my apprenticeship is probably where I developed a love for all things typographical. When I moved into offset printing in the second half of my apprenticeship, that’s where I started to work with images that were more than just logos or design elements on a page, and where I really started to appreciate the power of images to tell a story without words; to influence the way the viewer would feel about something. Career two (20+ years and still counting) – as a polytechnic tutor in “management” – actually started several years before the printing career came to an end. I’d gone “back to school” in my mid-30s because I wanted to find out what effective leaders and managers were meant to do, as I was certain it wasn’t a lot of what I was on the receiving end of. In hindsight, though, my experiences on the receiving end of some (but not all) managers taught me how I was not going to treat people as a manager or a leader, and I think I’ve been pretty faithful to the outcomes of those hard lessons over the years. I was lucky enough to be involved with running the course I had most enjoyed as a student at the institution where I literally went from student on the Friday to staff member the following Monday. To me, there is nothing more exciting when it comes to empowering people to be the best they can be than collaborative learning. I’m talking about teams of students working together to solve live leadership and management problems. One indication of the passion I invested is the multiple national awards I coached teams to for the quality not only of their solutions, but also of the teamwork and personal growth that made all things possible if they could come to believe in themselves as much as I did. Another is the time I invested. Too much, in hindsight because what I was passionate about became almost my whole life. No time for hobbies, even if I had been interested in photography back then. Eventually, I reached the stage where I developed a degree of boredom with what I was doing. The organisational constraints I had to work within restricted my ability to develop the course, and the other variants I had been part of spinning off from it, to make the collaborative experience even more life-like and empowering when it came to students being able to grow as individuals. When the opportunity to take on a more senior management/teaching role in another organisation came along, it seemed like a good career move, so I took it. After a year of trying to put systems in place where there were none before, I can honestly say I was happy when management decided not to renew my contract. Truth to tell, I was probably burned out from the constant bullying and lack of support from those above me. While the first half year had been quite positive, the second was like me living in a war zone where I could never be sure where the next attack was coming from, or what form it would take. It would take three months before I was able to find work again, and I really needed that time to overcome the constant feelings of panic and nausea, and the lack of proper sleep.
One good thing that came out of it was I was able to write a book. It might only have been a small one, and it might have actually made some money if I’d pushed it; but looking back now it’s as though it really had a higher purpose. In distilling my thoughts about collaborative working and learning, I was creating a resource that would be helpful for leaders, managers, followers and subordinates alike. To this day I still think it’s a great book, and not just because creating it helped keep me sane at a difficult time in my life. If I thought that place was bad, it only scratched the surface of preparing me for the next job. Not so senior, not in management, but still with lots of problems to sort out on behalf of management. Some of those were students with some significant personal issues that nobody else seemed to be able to get through to. At least with them, I was able once again to feel like I was making a difference. Seeing the looks on their faces and watching the changes in how they carried and presented themselves (almost) made up for the manager who literally ignored me to my face and undermined me for six months – they day they had to tell us the company had been liquidated and we were all unemployed and not getting any of the pay we had been owed for some time. Two unemployment events in two years. It seemed like it didn’t matter what I did, or how well I did it – the universe was against me. How could I have a long record of being good at what I did, and yet have the ability to continue doing it taken away from me? How could I be so useless? Why was my passion seemingly letting me down? Lots of questions – not much in the way of answers… When the opportunity arose several months later to return to my first institution – albeit with none of my previous seniority and no involvement in my beloved collaborative project course, I grabbed it with both hands. It was like returning to my spiritual home; my “safe place”, surrounded by reasonable and supportive team members. I was still just as dedicated to helping grow awesome humans, putting in way more hours than my contract called for, generally enjoying my teaching and getting back to something like my former self. That was until one particular student didn’t like the way I was teaching a particular course and made it their mission in life to destroy me. I would say the way they went about it was vicious, underhand and cowardly, and would not have been tolerated if they were an employee. Did they have an appreciation for how what they did made me feel about myself? Did they have their own issues, and I was just a convenient target for their own frustration? I didn’t know where to turn or what to do, and that led to quite a prolonged period of having very dark thoughts indeed about not seeing the value in living. In hindsight, I should have sought external help at that time but, like a typical Kiwi male, I didn’t want anybody to see me as weak. Emotions that should have been let out and examined in the light of reality were bottled up and I tried to ignore them. I was a hollowed-out shell of who I should have been. A year and a half later, I didn’t survive a restructuring and my former spiritual home was no longer a place of welcome.
Only employed part time now, this was the opportunity to enrol for a Doctorate of Professional Practice, which would continue the work I had started with my Master of Professional Practice I graduated with earlier that year. It’s an opportunity I wouldn’t have taken on full-time, if things hadn’t turned out the way they did, but I figured at least it was something I could do well because I had the smarts and I wouldn’t have to deal with too many people. People were something I was seriously over after my last few experiences with them. So here I was – working part-time from home, as well as studying full-time from home. The living being I interacted with more every day than any other (except on the days my wife worked from home in this pandemic-era life of ours) was our cat. I spent a lot of time focused on two computer screens – but at least I was in a space where I should be able to perform; working with words, which is something I have always loved. For all that, though, I wasn’t entirely comfortable in this new world. Yes, I was clever enough to get into the doctoral programme, but I still had difficulty believing that I might be good enough to be treated as a valid peer rather than as somebody of lower rank (even though I’m older than all of my academic mentors). One of my first year tasks was an autoethnographic review of my own lifetime of learning. What had influenced me to be the teacher that I was? How did I anticipate this would influence the practitioner I was working to become? One of the consequences of this was that the bullying events of the past were reopened inside my head, and I started to lose self-belief again. Logically, I knew that I didn’t need to feel hopeless or helpless, because I had so many successes I could look back on – both my own and those I had helped facilitate for students – over almost twenty years. There were times when I just needed to get away from work and study and not have to think about learning, learners, their needs, and my needs. For most of my life, photography wasn’t even what I would call a real hobby. A camera was what I used to take snapshots of places I’d been, just like everybody else I knew. No particular artistic merit, although some of them did find their way into my course resources where I could use them to help tell real-life stories that were relevant to the topics being covered at the time. Perhaps photography could be part of the answer here. It would get me both away from the computer screens and outside the house for some exercise. What I discovered was that I actually enjoyed taking the time to think in more detail about composition and detail, and to learn what the various features of my camera would allow me to do. Add to that, I needed to learn editing software. I actually started to turn out some shots that weren’t half bad. Not “pro standard”, to be sure, but also good enough that I could start to show them off without fear of being judged harshly by people who have much better kit, more experience, and more ambition… As my images started getting better, my self-belief and general mental health started – and have continued - to improve as well. I think of my camera now as a life-changer. If I leave the house without it, I feel almost naked – that camera bag is as much a part of what I wear as shoes or underwear. I’ve worked my schedule out so that Wednesday afternoons are now blocked out as photography time each week. That’s a self-imposed “Happy Time” that I look forward to and am very protective of (unless I’ve planned to shoot outdoors and the weather doesn’t look that flash, when I might change the day). I’m not sure that I’ve really worked out what my photographic genre is yet. I’ve read and heard so much about why I should have a theme or two to my work, rather than shooting anything and everything that takes my fancy. Flowers are always a go-to, as are waves and seagulls, but I also like buildings, waterfalls and sculptures. I think my answer to comments on specialisation is probably that I should shoot what makes me feel good at the time rather than fitting into somebody else’s structure just because…
Thinking about it now, I can see there’s a bit of a parallel between my teaching and my photography. For me, working on collaborative projects is not about filling my learners with pre-determined facts and interpretations – it’s about helping tease out the possibilities and opportunities for them to grow their own capabilities. With photography, it’s not about images that can only be understood in one definitive way – it’s about creating images for the viewer to appreciate in their own way, because there is no single “right” way to perceive what we see. I am working on ideas for where I’m headed once my portfolio of doctoral projects is completed and graduation beckons. Regardless of how those ideas turn out in reality, one thing I do know is that photography will always be a part of my life going forward.
- Robert Nelson
Yuri Chetty Fashion Model and Artist
Photographer: Charlotte E. Johnson
"Read more about Yuri in the next issue"
Photographer: Charlotte E. Johnson
"I remember falling asleep to the sounds of urban waterfalls as I used to call them" Magazine founder - Ian Moone
Thank you for being part of this new journey within the pages of InvokeMe Magazine and for supporting REAL people doing REAL things in the photographic world. I have created this magazine by my own hands, and with a steep learning curve along the way. I want to keep a crisp clean and not over crowded page set up that simply focuses on the story and the art not a bunch of glossy ads, colours and "stuff" that magazines use for phycological sales and allurement. Our focus is not sales, not marketing, not page after page of useless advertisements but keeping a simple platform that focuses on the people in the magazines pages. All funds generated from this magazine go 100% into community projects helping people with photography programs that heal and help people see the world in a new perspective. We currently have the largest reach in New Zealand from my own page and will be happy to use that as a launching pad for photographers to be seen around the world. If you would like to be in the pages of our magazine I invite you to share your images and story with us at magazine@invokeme.co.nz Thank you ALL for being part of this journey with us and we look forward to helping you get published and seeing the magazine grow even further around the world together and shining light into sometime dark places with articles and inspirational stories.
"We keep design costs down & focus on the artists story and images giving the reader a more focused experience and also lowering the readers costs having only a few ads to help fund more projects in the community. We will not promote Camera brands here. We simply support photographers not cooperate giants" -Ian Moone
