What’s Your Passion
Rules of Engagement
Stepping In
to Sexy Bedrooms
That One Thing
that Stands Out
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22 TukeeAZ February 2011
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F E AT U R E S What’s Your Passion? Interesting stories containing some fact, some fiction, but always with a mixture of boldness, courtesy and an uncanny air of familiarity. “John and Joan had been in love since high school. Her plan was to become an actress where she earned small parts at the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego opposite a new actor named John Wayne.”
Stepping In Step into our world where we will escort you through various designing techniques and ideas. Some old, some new and some yet to be named, either way, the door is open and after you visit, you won’t want to leave, mostly because we won’t let you!
10 DESIGNER SECRETS TO SEXY BEDROOMS
I understand the master bedroom is not one you generally show off, but...
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Behind the Curtain It’s not always easy to pull the curtain back. These are issues you don’t always find the words for, and along with ideas, you’ll want to uncover for yourself.
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Second Glance What makes you STOP,TURN AROUND, and take a Second Glance... It’s worth it! 14 WARDROBE TIPS FOR ARIZONA’S “THAW” It’s all about Color!
The Deep End Forget your life vest, refill your oxygen tank and dive into a section that will surprise, amaze, educate and possibily anger you with topics you were waiting for “the other guy to bring up.” Feel free to throw down the gauntlet and challenge us.
32 LOVE ON THE (SOCIAL NETWORKING) ROCKS
It seems clear that most of these change-in-relationship-status postings are more about the poster seeking revenge on, or initiating a reaction from their (ex)lover than anything else.
26 THE PRINCESS AND THE PEEPS
I can’t let February go without taking time to appreciate the other primary loves in my life....my girlfriends.
28 THE COUNSELOR IS IN
Intimacy and Authenticity: Risks Worth Taking
That One Thing We know how to find what stands out, whats worth writing about... that One Thing that jumps out at you.
4206 E. Chandler Blvd. #20
Managing your home’s temperature via smartphones. Not possible? Think again.
20 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
W H AT ’ S I N S I D E
Taking the time to make you comfortable.
20 SOME LIKE IT HOT
16 “WHILST” YOU DON’T FORGET...
Yes, she actually said “whilst”... Don’t write off the old when it’s now the new!
Area 44 Area 44 unlike Area 51 doesn’t have any alien sightings or do they? Area 44 is Ahwatukee.
30 TO PROTECT AND TO SERVE
Defending a girls best friend. Being presented with the sizeable investment of an engagement ring, you’ll want to protect it for reasons both practical and sentimental.
31 LEGALIZING MARIJUANA: HOW IT WORKS.
Persons who use marijuana for medical purposes are not immune from Arizona’s driving under the influence DUI laws.
Contributors Denise Teichert Local Designer Denise Teichert, Owner of Teichert Design Group and Show Host of Fine Wine and Design has
South Mountain Cycles
actively lead complete floor to ceiling design projects for over 18 years for both residential and commercial projects.
PUBLISHERS AZ Media Consultants, LLC Isabel & Kevin Ham
Denise is an Allied Member of ASID and is a regular contributor for Tukee AZ. e-mail: teichertdesigngroup@msn.com
ART DEPARTMENT Jeb Blann Angelina Gonzales
Chef Laura Slama An Ahwatukee resident since 1992, Laura Slama is a graduate of Le Cordon Bleu, Scottsdale and the University of Pennsylvania. As the executive chef and owner of Celebrated Cuisine, as well as Laura’s Gourmet, the producer of four moutherwatering flavors of artisan crafted granola. Chef Laura is also a regular contributor to several television shows, including Sonoran Living Live and the Valley Dish. She also is a regular contributor to Tukee AZemail: cheflaura@celebratedcuisine.com
Rollin’...since 1994
serenity Imagine... Two-wheeled Join the movement
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTORS Melanie Beauchamp Tiffany Craig Joel Henderson PRINTING CONSULTANT Robert Petri
Susan Brashears Wacker
3636 E. Ray Rd. | Phoenix, AZ 85044 SMCycles.com | 480.706.0858
Susan Brashears Wacker divides her time between her work in real estate, her hobbies of jewelry making, art and writing, and her time with her elderly parents, two adult daughters and four granddaughters. Susan’s roots run deep in Arizona. Her grandparents were all early pioneer settlers in the Verde Valley, Phoenix and Prescott and include the Brashears, Smith, Hicks and Marshal families. Most of Susan’s youth was spent in Chinle and Parker, Arizona and also Mesa and Flagstaff. She now makes her home in La Mesa, California with her husband Dennis. Marcie Edmonds In her Ahwatukee practice, Change of Heart Counseling, Marcie Edmonds, M.C., L.P.C., helps people cope with and heal from a range of issues including depression, anxiety, addictions, codependency and relationship challenges, divorce, grief and more. Reach her at marcieedmonds@cox.net or visit her online at www.changeofheartcounseling.com. Or, find her at www.TukeeAZ.com. Scott Gruby Scott Gruby is a software engineer in San Diego, California. He has written mobile applications for more than 15 years, most recently for the iPhone and the iPad. Diane Meehl
© 2011 by Arizona Media Consultants, LLC All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reprduced in any form without prior written consent from TukeeAZ Magazine TO OUR READERS: TukeeAZ Magazine would love to hear your reactions to our magazine! Feel free to send us an e-mail: publisher@tukeeaz.com ADVERTISERS TukeeAZ is distributed to select area homes and through prime area businesses. To hear more or to request a media kit, please contact Isabel Ham at 480.656.0626 or isabel@tukeeaz.com
Longtime Ahwatukee resident, Diane Meehl, owner of Your Words by Design, is an independent journalist and editor, a mother of 3 and an active community and church volunteer. A regular contributor to several local publications, including The Arizona Republic, Ahwatukee Foothills News and Raising Arizona Kids magazine, Diane can be found poring over her laptop during piano and ballet lessons.
COVER PHOTO Art Holeman, Photographer Michael’s Creative Jewelry Foothills Floral Gallery www.TukeeAZ.com
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TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
and Every Day of The Year
Welcome! Both our Art & Creative Directors said “we need an editor’s letter and a picture”. In our opinion, an editor’s letter is sometimes overlooked. For now, we will continue to publish interesting content, some fact and some fiction, delivered with a mixture of boldness and courtesy from contributors, both professional and “ semi professional” that will present “behind the curtain” opinions with style, passion and an uncanny air of familiarity. Here is a small part of our beginning along with the first of many contributor introductions. A foreboding of destined CHANGE, was the feeling we had on a warm Ahwatukee evening as we sat down to dinner with one of our friends. She lifted the glass, testing her newest find, a Malbac, and in her usual “flair”, threw down the gauntlet (she actually did that) and said, “Well, are we going to do it”? Now don’t let your mind wander into THAT area! She was talking about all the urging we’d had from numerous community leaders, business owners and residents to produce a magazine
From Practical to Tactical... From Mild to Wild
befitting Ahwatukee’s lifestyle, a publication that would focus on local businesses and people in a manner equal to its own uniqueness. Well, we picked up that gauntlet and said, “only if you’re going to jump in with us”……so enhance a friendship into a marriage, yes, I am now married to Denise Teichert, in the publishing sense. It has taken 3 years, and she continues to be as unique as our community and the magazine she is the Design Editor for. With her knowledge and professionalism, you’ll find what we found, a woman with a positive “I can accomplish anything and in half the time” attitude. So, “step in” with Denise and welcome to our world.
Dear Tukee AZ Reader, Welcome! I’m so glad you’ve discovered our magazine, and I look forward to your feedback. Allow me to introduce myself. I have been blessed with many wonderful gifts in my life… my beautiful children, supportive and loving friends and family, and an exciting and rewarding career. I’ve also been fortunate to live, work and play in a community full of inspiration, growth and true spirit. When I was offered the opportunity to serve as Design Editor for Tukee AZ, my response was an elated, “YES!” Not because I love the challenges of intense deadlines or the occasional bout of writer’s block, but because I’ve been given an opportunity to share my knowledge and passion for design with others in this community we call home. My background and experience in design and media go back many years. I won’t share the actual number of them with you because, well, you might not believe I’m still thirty-nine and that’s my story, I’m sticking to it! I come from a family of gifted artists, so it only seems natural that I follow that path. My education and years of experience reside mostly in fashion and interior design. I’ve spent most of my adult life creating visual displays and designs for both commercial and residential spaces. My background in media has enabled me to share many of the transformations I, along with my talented team, have created for our clients. In 2005, I launched a career in media with the local lifestyle television show, Fine Wine and Design. We showcase extraordinary floor to ceiling design projects, wine pairings, and recipes from top celebrity chefs. I look forward to introducing to you the many facets of design. Together we’ll step into the world of talented designers and take a look at the innovative products and exceptional art found right here in Ahwatukee. We’ll journey through local design events and scout out the “must do’s” as we discover new ways to create and engage in the “how-to’s.” I am proud to be a part of the Tukee AZ lineup… and I look forward to embracing homemakers, foodie enthusiasts, fellow artists and designers looking to get their creative juices flowing, learn something new, or just have fun! I’ll enthusiastically encourage you to enhance your home, your style and your life through art, design, food and wine, and I invite you to enjoy all that TUKEE has to offer. Page 8
Cheers! Denise Teichert
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
FAX:
MERCHANTFIREARMS.COM
X
I-10
Kevin & Isabel
PH:
48th Street
I might ask her to marry me too….in the Publishing sense!
New Location
E Chandler Blvd. Next Month, be prepared to meet our other friend and Contributor, Chef Laura.
Stepping In
t’s interesting how the one
so this is where I advise you to splurge.
room in our home where we
Crisp, clean sheets (I recommend a 450 -
spend the most time is the
650 thread count) entice us to jump in.
last to get decorated.
Keep your bedding simple‌. comfortable
Over
the 18-plus years I’ve been
and uncomplicated.
helping people enhance their living spaces, I can count on one hand the
s #OZY UP YOUR WALLS 7ARM TONES ARE
number of calls I’ve received specifically for
sexy.
help with master bedroom designs. I get
yellows.
numerous calls regarding children’s rooms.
passion; but use caution, because it also
Putting our children first is not a bad thing,
stimulates anger - unless you’re into that
however any marriage counselor out there
kind of thing.
Try browns, beiges, apricots and Red is the color of love and
little “you/us� time. I am by no means
s 9OU MIGHT lND IT INTERESTING THAT YELLOW
a marriage counselor; trust me, I will be
symbolizes communication, so keep that
following my own advice as I write. Some
in mind if you’re lacking in that area.
of you are smiling, I know. s !S HARD AS THIS WILL BE FOR SOME TRY TO I understand the master bedroom is not
keep computers and televisions out of
one you generally show off. It’s not the
your bedroom.
first room your guests see and it doesn’t
you, then at least hide them in a cabinet
have to be transformed into some happy
or armoire.
If that’s impossible for
place to keep your children occupied and feeling safe. Therefore our time, budgets
s +EEP ALL EXERCISE EQUIPMENT OUT OF THE
and thoughts are focused on those “more
bedroom - that’s not the excitement we
happen’n� spaces. In actuality, though,
are trying to create here!
your life and/or your relationship may very well be “more happen’n� if you put
s 7HEN IT COMES TO ACCESSORIZING THINK IN
invest in your most personal space‌your
terms of pairs. One of anything represents
bedroom!
loneliness; so plan for two nightstands, two candles on a dresser, two pictures on a
Sexy Bedrooms By: Denise Teichert
Page 10
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
When in LOVE‌
Do as the French do‌
By: Denise Teichert
will stress the importance of having a
Designers’ Secrets to
Enough said!
Whether you’re single and want to change
wall. And your accessories are the perfect
what you are attracting, (or just want to
opportunity to introduce that passionate
attract, period) or if you’re looking to
red. It’s been said that a red object on
recharge the eroticism in your existing
the nightstand increases eroticism in the
relationship, start by incorporating these
female partner, a copper one in men.
sexy design principles into your bedroom. Don’t wait! This is far too important to put
s ,ASTLY KEEP IN MIND ALLURE IS IN THE
on hold. Valentine’s Day is just around the
lighting.
corner; this is a perfect time to re-charge
use of dimmers, candles and oil lamps.
your bedroom‌ and your romantic life. A
Not only does it set
few tips to get the (creative) juices flowing:
the mood but we all
Soften your lighting with the
Looking for a romantic piece of furniture? Let me introduce you to the Chaise Lounge. Properly known as “Chaise Loungueâ€?, which is French for long chair. A symbol of luxury and comfort it’s perfect for your bedroom or sitting room. The unique design of a chaise lounge makes it extremely comfortable. Its artistic curves make it a sexy piece of furniture that is sure to bring a touch of romance to your dĂŠcor. There are a wide range of options when it comes to choosing a look that’s right for you. Traditional to modern you’re sure to find the right fit!
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner; this is a perfect time to re-charge your bedroom‌ and your romantic life.
look better in soft s 2EMOVE THE CLUTTER INCLUDING ANYTHING
lighting, too.
that reminds you of past lovers, such as photos, love letters, gifts, etc. And get rid
With a bit of time
of any bad memories. If you’re looking to
and
rejuvenate, you have to start fresh.
love life will match
effort,
your s .EW BEDDING CAN BRING FRESH ENERGY
passionate
your
bedroom’s dÊcor.
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 11
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Second Glance
ut together pieces they can wear now that have staying power to wear later in the season. I
The key to making the most of this in-
often find women have
a classic cut pair of grey or silver pants,
a
between time is to gather versatile pieces to add to your collection. Not a big fan of yellow? Try a sheer navy blouse, with
choosing
and since it’s still cold outside, pick up a
clothing outside of their comfort zone.
matching blazer as well. Choose items you
This is especially true when it comes to
can wear to both work and happy hour,
color. Just because it’s still winter, don’t
and look great in both places!
hard
time
be afraid to embrace color!
Navy is hot
this season, along with yellow and shades
Finally, every outfit that achieves a “put
of grey. I tend to get the question, “Why
–together” look requires accessories. Try
so much yellow? It’s not summer time
some silver textures that are everywhere
yet!” Once again, it’s all about transition.
right now, such as a silver cuff and
Why not try a bright canary top or
matching necklace to stitch your look
cardigan, which easily transitions into the
together. And don’t forget your most
next season. Save time and stretch your
essential accessory …confidence!
wardrobe budget. High five, ladies!
Submit your own fashion tips at TukeeAZ.com!
Within our doors you will find alluring irresistible trends. Some brands we carry:
Shop at our new location!
Wardrobe Tips for Arizona’s “Thaw”:
It’ s all about COLOR!
By: Tiffany Craig
It’s official. The weather is warming, and we’re heading into that transitional time before we dive into the long summer’s wardrobe. The advice I give to clients searching for just the right outfits? Page 14
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 15
That One Thing
bacon slightly longer (but don’t ruin those
excellent restaurants in Manhattan; the
talent of the chef, desserts in house could
scallops, they were perfection!).
house-made pasta definitely did not deter
be so much better (Chef Laura reminder –
from the abundant seafood inside that
better to offer fewer options that are yours
Our
server,
David,
wanted
nothing
had no chance of being overwhelmed by
and awesome, than too many which don’t
less than to please, and he performed
ricotta – a great balance.
reflect all the wonderful things your guests
flawlessly. For those of you that know me,
Oh, but I digress. Whilst (yes, I wrote
have already experienced).
I can be a little challenging, and so that is
whilst) waiting for the main, we shared the
exactly what I did – I challenged him to
hearts of palm salad. Replete with hearts
I am grateful to the current rash of
bring me that evening’s best dish on the
of palm, artichoke hearts, roasted red bell
Ahwatukee restaurant newbies for not
menu – which turned out to be the Halibut
peppers, baby romaine, tomatoes and a
being ready for me yet. I was able to
Genovese – Pan seared halibut with capers
great balsamic vinaigrette, it was funny to
rediscover what has always been here and
sn’t it funny how we tend to
and artichokes, so perfectly cooked, that
see three people so enraptured by a salad.
found a new place for my bubble to float.
write off what is “old” in favor
after 30 minutes sitting on my plate (I
of what is new? We can’t help
am a bit of a talker) it was still moist
Dessert was a little more challenging.
it, it’s just human nature.
I
and enjoyable). My dining companions
Most of the desserts come from an offsite
mean, why settle for the old
put old and new school to the test, veal
bakery, so we specifically asked for that
and understood, when you
marsala and fresh seafood ravioli. Again,
which is made in house (crème brulee) and
can take on the new and exciting? Well, I
pinch me – where am I? The Tuke? The
back East (cannoli). Suffice to say, both hit
have one word for why not, Ruffino Italian
veal was reminiscent of my days in
a basic need, but I am confident, given the
“Whilst” You Don’t Forget Ruffino Italian Cuisine By: Chef Laura
Gone is the garish red wall, the old Italian décor, and in its place is a spot that made me say,“where have I been?”
Cuisine. A few evenings ago, after a thwarted attempt to dine at a few new restaurants in our “bubble” (one was in “training mode”, the other still learning the basics), my dining partners and I decided to visit an oldie but a (potentially) goodie at Warner between 48th and 51st streets, Ruffino Italian Cuisine. As you may be aware, it went under new ownership about three years ago. Gone is the garish red wall, the old Italian décor, and in its place is a spot that made me say, “where have I been?” Seriously, from the warm greeting at the door, to the knowledgeable cocktail server dying to make us feel comfortable, I had to pinch myself for a second. I was a little thrown off by the live entertainment until the little voice inside my head said “embrace, don’t reject” and before I knew it, I, too, was flying to the moon….. We decided to enjoy appetizers in the lounge while waiting for our table (yes, there was a wait), which included the beef carpaccio and the bacon wrapped scallops. Both were delicious, although I would suggest the kitchen slice the beef a teeny bit thicker so it is easier to lift from the plate, and perhaps cooking the Photos By: Art Holeman Page 16
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 17
That One That one Thing
thing
DINING IN
The Living Room By: Chef Laura irst dates can be awk-
are you having?” menu where someone in
beef sliders were also tasty, and were a lit-
ward.
Anyone who tells
your group is certain to have entrée envy
tle more filling than the bruschetta, impor-
you otherwise apparently
(entrée envy: the emotion one feels when
tant if you want to leave feeling like you
never had one. From the
eyeing another person’s entrée and think-
have eaten an actual meal.
drive to the restaurant, to
ing “I should have ordered that!”).
selecting the menu items,
Other items we tried included the anti-
enduring lapses in conversation, and of
Following the directions of our enthusias-
pasto board with selected Italian meats,
course, the inner monologue (“do I have
tic server, Morgan, we started with two
cheese, olives and ciabatta, great to share,
food in my teeth”, “is my conversation
bruschetta. The first was more of a test
especially in a large group, as well as the
interesting”, “did he just check out that
since it can be an easily ruined classic: to-
hot Bavarian pretzel, made in house, of-
other woman?”), first dates can be excru-
mato, mozzarella and basil with a drizzle
fered with three different mustards. I con-
ciating.
of balsamic reduction.
sider myself a pretzel connoisseur, and this
Presented sliced
in thirds, each piece had plenty of toma-
one was definitely up to snuff.
But first dates can also be exciting – no
toes and fresh mozzarella nicely brought
lapses in conversation, easy familiarity, no
together by the balsamic.
The second,
Chef’s Caution - If you select The Living
room for inner monologue as words tum-
selected by my dining partner, was com-
Room for your first date, prepare yourself.
ble unfiltered from your mouth.
prised of prosciutto, figs, mascarpone and
The combination of atmosphere, service
tomato jam, also in thirds, proved to be a
and menu is the perfect formula for dating
tasty balance of sweet and salty.
success. The rest, of course, is up to you.
for us, we have The Living Room not too
From there we ventured into sandwich
Chef Laura note: All good first dates result
far away. Tucked into the edge of a retail
land, enjoying a house roasted turkey
in a second. On a return visit to the Living
strip in Chandler, The Living Room is ex-
sandwich with provolone, roasted pep-
Room, this time enjoying the brie fondue
actly that – easy familiarity that embraces
pers and basil pesto, served hot, with a
and few different bruschetta, I was happy
you the moment you walk in. Depend-
chopped vegetable salad on the side. As
to see the same consistently friendly staff
ing on your mood and your dining com-
a professional chef known for her pesto, I
and one even remembered my visit from
panion, choose to sit indoors at the bar, a
am pretty picky when I taste others, but
the earlier visit. At The Living Room, it is
high top, or a table for four or outdoors on
this one I definitely enjoyed, especially in
easy to see how that first date could easily
the abundant couches. No matter where,
combination with the turkey. The prime
start a long term love affair.
The restaurant we pick can play a role in making or breaking that first date. Lucky
you will be greeted by a service staff who knows the menu, isn’t shy about sharing their favorites, can navigate you through the wine list or make up a cocktail designed to please your specific desire. On the Saturday evening I visited The Living Room it was nearly full at 6pm. I did notice that women outnumbered men, but I think that was more due to the fact that the menu appeals more to women than men – I call it a “grazing menu”, comprised of items that are meant to be shared, as opposed to the traditional “what Page 18
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 19
Te c h n o l o g y
That One Thing
Page 20
Some like it HOT
Managing your Home’s Temperature via Smartphones By: Scott Gruby
By now, we thought we’d all live like The Jetson’s. While home automation has remained a topic of conversation for years and there are so many advances in technology, we’re not there just yet. True, we’ve enjoyed systems for turning lights on and off during certain hours, and timers to fire up appliances at night. Still, Judy wouldn’t be too impressed. A programmable thermostat remains the simplest form of in-home automation; an
GO PLAY IN YOUR OWN BACKYARD!
essential for both comfort and energy savings. These relatively mundane devices enable the regulation of heat or air at predictable intervals, and they have been the extent of the promise of life at a touch of a button. That is… until now. A company called Radio Thermostat, www.radiothermostat.com, makes a few WiFi enabled thermostats, putting this technology on a new trajectory. While they won’t automatically clean your house or make dinner, these devices help regulate the temperature…whether you’re relaxing at home or globetrotting. These thermostats perform the same functions as their contemporaries, but
10:15 AM
also integrate with your home network so you can control the temperature from not only the comfort of your couch, but from anywhere you can connect via mobile application or web-based connection; but that’s not all. For instance, if you leave the house and forget to turn off the air,
o
70
you can hold the temperature to achieve maximum efficiency. Plus, programming these thermostats is a snap, just log into the website for instructions. One of the best features of these thermostats, including the CT-30, and its counterpart, the 3M Filtrete 50, is that they are affordable. Each is available for a price just slightly higher than a programmable thermostat, around $99. Installation will, of course, cost extra, but if you’re slightly handier than George Jetson, installation shouldn’t be too difficult.
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
www.thefoothillsgc.com Page 21 (480) 460-4653
Whats your Passion?
Rules of
Engagement By: Isabel Ham
“Rules of Engagement?” she asked. “Just exactly what are those, and why do you have to enlist and go to Korea, or Japan, or to whatever secret place they’re sending you?”
“John and Joan had been in love since high school. Her plan was to become an actress, and she earned small parts at the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego opposite a new actor named John Wayne.”
“Well, my love,” he answered, “the ROE’s are complicated and confusing at best. Basically, they are the guidelines that determine where, when and how you conduct yourself in difficult situations. And yes, I have to go… to serve our country and preserve our freedom so future generations, our children, might not have to.”
“I understand. But I hate that you’re leaving. I love you desperately.”
Page 22
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 23
Whats your Passion?
were to be married.
No one knew.
It
He returned
never looked back. She didn’t run after
to the States, where he came across
him this time. She stood still, tears in her
her brother, Bob attending Annapolis
eyes she looked down at her child, the one
After all those letters professing his love,
Academy, who told him cryptically “the
with John’s personality, and envisioned
abruptly, they stopped.
Joan had been
last I heard from my sister who obviously
the ones to come. In that moment, she
heartbroken to find out that he was
inherited the blood of our adventuring
vowed to teach them that when they find
missing in action (MIA) and quite possibly
Spanish ancestors, was that she was going
love, hold on tightly, don’t let anything
dead on arrival (DOA). She didn’t know
home”. That was all, nothing more.
get in the way…not work, not play - not
wasn’t official.
“A love like that is so fragile, so precious, that even if you have to break “THE RULES of ENGAGEMENT” to defend it… then….do it!”
exactly what had happened, but she was
uncovered those words and
a booklet titled ‘The Mass on the day
many more contents in an
of Marriage,’ a key (to a house?), a tiny
old cigar box.
Dusty and
pill box tucked with a note that read,
John and Joan had been in love since
unopened, it had languished
‘whoever opens this must give a kiss,’ a
high school. Her plan was to become an
in a large crate that had
sultry picture of my mother, who looked
actress, and she earned small parts at the
been ignored and moved
like Elizabeth Taylor down to the beauty
Old Globe Theatre in San Diego opposite
The storage
mark, wearing a black velvet swimsuit…
a new actor named John Wayne.
company had called and asked if I wanted
and one of a man in a uniform and helmet
friend, Suzanne Pleshette, had advised her
to continue renting a space. Having taken
smoking a cigar. On the back it read, “this
to ‘hang in there’ and a good part would
out all the important items and stacking
is me beside my home. I carry the carbine
come along. She could dance, and had a
them in my garage, I thought, well, it
to fight off the Korean girls. The armor vest
beautiful face and a wonderful personality,
wouldn’t matter if I gave away the rest to
is to hold in my stomach. I have a cig in
but couldn’t carry a tune to save her
Goodwill. I almost wish I had.
my mouth because we get them free. One
life… something I inherited, along with
from one house to another.
she had come and gone.
unfolded.
Her
pant’s leg is up because I just scratched my
her friends name. John had enlisted into
Buried deep down under torn papers
leg. If you can’t use this, please send it
the Army and was serving with the 40th
and pieces of an old scrapbook with gold
to the home for old soldiers, I Love you
Division in Korea where he was awarded
corners, I discovered carefully hidden
desperately”
the Combat Infantryman’s badge. They
even a war.
going to go find him! When she left for
Had too much time passed for a love to
the Orient, she didn’t tell anyone, knowing
survive? It was a summer day, and the
A love like that is so fragile, so precious,
they’d advise against it. She didn’t want
Alabama sun was threatening her tomato
that even if you have to break “THE RULES
to hear it; so she was gone.
plants as Joan watched her child playing
of ENGAGEMENT” to defend it… then….
in the mud of their 150-year-old family
do it!
After months, and no word from either
homestead, when a man approached.
of them, there was a beach party and all
They stood looking at each other, and in
Many hours later, surrounded by all the
the usual suspects showed up.
Beach
that moment, it evaporated - the vision of
artifacts from this unrequited love, I knew
parties at “The Del” in San Diego during
what their life would have been. All the
that she had excelled in HER mission. My
the 1940’s and 50’s involved bonfires
years of hoping and dreaming and finally
brothers, John, Clay, Charles, and a sister
with lots of friends, some you didn’t even
giving up, came rushing in on them. In
Kayte, would agree.
know. One in particular stepped forward
that moment a voice echoed,
I’ll find the man that quite possibly is my
to announce he was back. It was John;
chance is gone.”
“Your
For me, hopefully
father, and thank him for the love he gave
and he was looking for Joan. No one knew
to my mother, the respect he afforded
where to find her. After surviving Korean
As he watched the little girl, rub muddy
her, and the service he gave our country.
and Japanese battles, he was faced with a
hands on her mothers skirt, he looked at
The “Rules of Engagement” are those you
bigger fear - losing his love forever.
Joan with longing, smiled, blew her a kiss
follow each day, the ones you respect when
A glimmer of hope, mixed with
and then turned and walked away.
you’re engaged with any relationship.
He
paralyzing fear hit him when he found that she’d left to look for him! Back to Korea and Japan to no avail,
handwritten letters. I was shocked to see them.
I thought I’d already discovered
I thought, this guy has a great sense of
all the mementos of my mother’s life
humor… who is he? There was more,
after her early departure from mine. The
including an old box made of fabric
numbered letters were both old ones
emblazoned with the word, passion, and
and new. Thumbing quickly through the
I was almost afraid to open that one! First,
photographs, my eyes settled on a man I’d
I got up to get a drink - I won’t tell you
never seen before. Mingled throughout
what kind, but for the sake of posterity, I’ll
the box were photos of my mother
just say, those Argentineans’ know what
pictured with the same man, strategically
they’re doing - and came back PREPARED
hidden in between love notes with her
to find just ONE MORE corner to turn in
lip prints on them, and programs from
my life. I hoped it wouldn’t be a dead end.
The Old Globe Theatre. Amongst the pile was a skillfully drawn sketch of a naked
I opened the “passion” box, and found
woman, complete with a beauty mark on
exactly that…it was filled with poems
her cheek.
and letters that would put Hallmark out of business, plus, two rings. What existed
The excavated trove revealed old menus
in those letters was the love of a lifetime,
from restaurants, a cross without a chain,
and I never knew it. Here’s how the story
Page 24
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 25
Behind The Curtain
network of friends fared a better chance of survival.
The Princess & The Peeps By: Diane Meehl
In my own strictly empirical research, it is clear to me that women are different from men in this regard. Often, in order to cope with their stress, men choose to retreat. Together in groups, guys seem more
on’t get me wrong, I’m
and constant companionship is vital to the
Marriage is a marathon, and every wife
all for technology. I love
many and varied roles I play every single
needs a gang of girlfriends to help her
an e-card in my inbox;
day. The women in my “foxhole” have
retain her reign as Queen. Her very life
but when it comes to
my back, and I’d take a bullet for any of
depends on them.
expressing my feelings
them. (Of course it might take the shape
during Valentine’s Day,
of sharing an emergency cocktail to shake
Evidence suggests my theory rings true:
off some mother-in-law stress.)
women with strong friendships enjoy
I’m a devout believer in the church of Hallmark.
However, my still knight-in-
shining-denim is not the only one I’m
Nothing prepares one for the rigors
of The Girls from Ames, spent a decade
thinking of as I forage for greeting cards
of
intimate
immersed in the study of a group of
this year.
relationships. No one explains that after
women and their friendships. “A host of
I can’t let February go without taking time
family
life
or
the Prince sweeps in, every Princess rides
studies show that having a close group of
off to a castle for which she will carry a
friends helps women sleep better, improve
to appreciate the other primary loves in
hefty load of responsibilities, including
their immune systems, stave off dementia
my life…my girlfriends.
cleaning the royal “thrones.”
and actually live longer,” he said.
Without them,
Or that
His
I’m not certain I would have survived the
over time, the tiara tarnishes, the Prince
research revealed a study at Stanford
adventure that is marriage these 16 years
occasionally
froggish,
University that showed women with late-
and counting.
and the fever pitch of courtship simmers.
stage breast cancer who enjoyed a large
Page 26
Their support, laughter
acts
downright
There seems to be an unwritten rule not to talk about their problems, whereas with women, how much we share is precisely the measure of our closeness.
more robust health. Jeffery Zaslow, author marriage,
likely to seek diversion than conversation.
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
It doesn’t take long for women to achieve this intimacy. We tell our labor stories to the pregnant woman in the bathroom. We celebrate our children and commiserate
encouragement we so effortlessly offer to
over their struggles.
one another.
We laugh at the
Longtime
antics of our significant others and we
Ahwatukee
resident
Diane
Meehl is an independent writer and can
cry over our profound disappointments
So Princesses and Queens, join me in
be found in her closet, talking with her
in them. We deliver meals when one of
celebrating
girlfriends on the phone.
us is sick, because we instinctively know
Uggs. Because she’ll ride you off into the
that the caregiver is often the last on her
sunset and emancipate you from your
own list. We humble ourselves to each
hours of toil… at least until you’ve got to
other, and we draw strength from the
get the kids to bed.
your
Knightess-in-shining-
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 27
Behind The Curtain
Joel and Stephanie’s proposal story... start the next chapter in our lives. After getting their approval, I went home, tried to get sleep and planned how I was going
The Counselor Is In
to propose.
Intimacy and Authenticity: Risks worth Taking
Stephanie came over to my house to meet up and go to dinner. She came
By: Marcie Edmonds, M.C., L.P.C.
in, and I told her to sit down because I had a present for her. She looked at me in
like “why did you buy me something?”
I like to
I told her that it wasn’t big and I gave
their journey in therapy, clients can learn
describe intimacy as, “in-to-me-you-see.”
her the wrapped frame. When she saw it
to become more authentic.
Practicing
True intimacy involves allowing yourself
she jokingly said “Its not a ring!” I loved
casual
authenticity means being true to oneself…
to be vulnerable. We do this by sharing
hearing that, because she had NO idea
greeting is, “I’m fine,”
to your personality, spirit and character.
all of ourselves with someone we trust,
what was coming. Then she opened the
even if it isn’t true? You aren’t alone; many
The difference means knowing when it’s
speaking truthfully and letting go of the
present and was so happy to see it was a
of us employ these practices in certain
appropriate to say,
potential consequences. When we try to
Nan Lawson. It took her a minute to realize
contexts. However, patterns such as these
control the outcome in relationships, we
what I was doing on the print. Once she
turn problematic when they become the
end up sacrificing our authenticity if we
realized she started to tear up and kept
are not equipped to deal with conflict
repeating “Are you serious?” “Is this a
or rejection. So we act as if life is
joke?” Then I got on one knee, opened
an election, toting a campaign It’s
up the ring box and said. “I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
sustain
She was in complete shock. All I heard for
oes this sound familiar?
drawn to addictive behaviors often propels
Creating
You
one
people to seek professional help. During
relationships requires risk.
thing yet say another. Or,
often
think
your
answer
to
standard a
“I’m fine”, to the
only way we “do life,” walking around with an invisible sign that reads, “If you only knew.”
emotional
intimacy
slogan that says, “Vote for Many of us have learned
me! Vote for me!”
how not to say what
exhausting
we really think, believe or feel.
to
a minute was “Seriously?? Did you buy
that kind of insincerity.
that? Is this really happening?” I put the
We do this
out of fear of others’
Are
you
reactions:
take
a
i.e.,
he/
ready
ring on her ring finger and gave her a hug
to
and she then said YES!
calculated
she will get mad at
risk in 2011?
me; my words will
a
Make
bout a year ago Steph
Finally Monday, December 27th I went
to
had a digital image of us
to the ring store to just “look” at the ring
Since that day we have loved being
be hurtful; I’m afraid
express your inner
created by the amazing
and decide what I should do. The ring
engaged and that much closer to being
if you know my truth
self, and worry less
Nan Lawson. She loved
was not online anymore so I was worried
married. I truly love Stephanie SO much,
others
that print, she framed
it would be discontinued. I was able to
and I am so blessed to have her as my
your
it, blogged about it, and
walk away owning the ring that I would
fiancé. I can’t believe that in about a year
words,
posted it on facebook. So, I contacted
ask the woman I love to marry me. I knew
she will become Mrs. Henderson.. Then I
actions,
Nan soon after that and asked her to do
I had to act fast if I wanted to propose that
will be the luckiest man in the world.
and you may discover real
a top secret project for me. She had all
week. Her sister, and close friends would
you may not want to
about
be with me. We mask our
sadness
behind
Align
thoughts, feelings
We soothe
our emotional wounds with compulsive activities. Over time, these habits become symptoms of a range of psychological issues making their way to my office.
and
change in your experiences
the photos, and knew our styles already
leave the following week for school. The
and relationships. It’s what I refer
from when Steph did business with her.
proposal had to happen with them here.
to as living a life that is authentic. It’s
My project was a little different than the
not an easy shift, and it forces us right
other one though. I asked Nan if she
I secretly set up a breakfast with her parents
could illustrate me on one knee instead of
one early morning. They knew that the big
standing.
question was coming, and fully supported
out of our comfort zone. check
o
u
t
Feeling dissatisfied with life, discontented
clerk, but admitting, “I could really use a
in relationships, depressed, anxious or
shoulder to cry on,” to a significant other.
Page 28
what
think.
anger. We drape our pain with a smile.
commitment
But it’s the
surest path to sustaining loving, engaged, intimate relationships.
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
us. They couldn’t wait for Steph and I to
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 29
Area 44
To Protect and Preserve Defending a Girl’s Best Friend‌For Life By: Kevin Ham
Legalizing Marijuana: How it works. By: Melanie Beauchamp
hen
that
special
The earth’s most robust gemstone still
jewelry. Determine your comfort
moment happens, all
requires protection from theft, loss or
zone with a deductible.
the preparation in the
damage. Check out these tips to prevent
world flies right out the
a disaster or mitigate your loss:
window. may
have
Your fiancĂŠ
s 7HEN NOT WEARING YOUR JEWELRY ESTABLISH a safe and secure place for your pieces,
stumbled
s !SK FOR AN APPRAISAL FROM A TRUSTED
the more creative the better, but not SO
through his (or her‌women are asking
jeweler. Adjust for inflation by having the
creative that
these days, too) well-rehearsed proposal,
piece re-appraised every 3-5 years.
routine of consistent care will help prevent
but he did manage to present you with
s 4AKE A PHOTOGRAPH OF YOUR MOST PRECIOUS
loss or damage.
the diamond engagement ring of your
pieces.
dreams. It was a sizeable investment, one
certificate of appraisals and receipts, in a
Taking a few moments of your time
you’ll want to protect for reasons both
safe, secure place.
to ensure this significant investment is
you forget! Establishing a
Store these, along with your
practical and sentimental.
protected for a lifetime will reap dividends s 2EVIEW YOUR CURRENT HOMEOWNERS RENTAL
Think for a moment about these heart-
policy. Most standard policies only cover
stopping scenarios. The left finger you’ve
a small fraction of the cost of jewelry.
for years to come. Congratulations!
been staring at for months is suddenly bare.
Or, perhaps an intruder took off
s !FTER REVIEWING THE POLICY CONTACT
with your jewelry box. Or, your ring is
your insurance provider to gain a further
scratched during a vigorous rock climb.
understanding of how to insure your
Page 30
n
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
November
2,
2010,
from a registered nonprofit marijuana
Arizona voters approved
dispensary.
Location of dispensaries
Persons who use marijuana for medicinal
Proposition 203 legalizing
continues to be a controversial subject
purposes are not immune from Arizona’s
marijuana for medicinal
because many citizens do not want them
driving under the influence (DUI) laws.
use.
located in residential areas or near schools
Arizona DUI laws make it a crime to drive
The Department of
Health Services (DHS) has
a vehicle while under the influence of
yet to finalize rules that will be used to
Patients or their registered caregivers may
marijuana. If a person is using medical
regulate medical marijuana. The informal
acquire up to two and a half (2.5) ounces
marijuana and can be shown to be under
draft Rules and comments thereto are
of medicinal marijuana in a two (2) week
its influence they are guilty of a DUI. The
available at the Arizona Department
period from a registered nonprofit medical
problem is that chemical tests are not
Health Services website.
marijuana dispensary. If the patient resides
always sufficiently accurate to determine
over twenty-five (25) miles from the
if there is enough marijuana in someone’s
At this time it appears that the following
closest medical marijuana dispensary, the
blood to actually impair them.
rules and guidelines are expected to be
caregiver or the patient can grow up to
blood alcohol analysis wherein someone
used to determine who may use medical
twelve (12) marijuana plants in a locked,
with a blood alcohol content of .08 or
marijuana and how it may be dispensed
enclosed facility.
more is presumed impaired, Arizona
and cultivated.
Medical marijuana may
Unlike,
lawmakers have not yet established a
be used for the following conditions:
Current
rules
standard quantitative level of marijuana
Cancer, glaucoma, HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis
punish violations by, amongst other
that must be in a person’s blood for them
C,
consequences,
ALS,
Crohn’s
disease,
Alzheimer’s
DHS
informal
draft
revoking a qualifying
to be deemed impaired. Marijuana and it
disease, cachexia or wasting syndrome,
patient’s or designated caregiver’s registry
metabolites can remain in an individual’s
severe and chronic pain, severe nausea,
identification card should the qualifying
bloodstream even though they are no
seizures (including epilepsy), and severe
patient or designated caregiver provide
longer impaired by the drug.
or persistent muscle spasms (including
medical marijuana to an individual who
multiple sclerosis). Patients must have a
is not authorized to possess medical
For more information please contact us
doctor’s certification of their diagnosis of
marijuana under the Arizona Medical
at melanie@beauchamplawoffice.com or
an eligible condition and certification that
Marijuana Act.
visit our website at arizonadui.com.
use would be medically beneficial. They
circumstances, criminal penalties may also
would then have to purchase the drug
be applicable.
Depending on the
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 31
The Deep End
Love on the (Social Networking) Rocks
By Susan Brashears Wacker
Oh yes, we know them. Those people
there. The post could be removed, but
raising my hand in a single finger salute
that meet someone and after the 3rd
chances are, not in time to keep it from
to you!”
date they post on their social networking
being read. And, somehow, even while
page that they are “in a relationship”. A
having regrets about past relationship
As for me, if my husband and I ever hit
couple of weeks pass, they have their first
postings, some people can’t seem to stop
the skids, I vow not to change my Face-
fight, and hurriedly change their status
themselves.
book status until I’m absolutely, positively,
back to “single”. A few days later, the
unequivocally certain that we are finished
couple reconciles and the status changes
It seems clear that most of these change-
and over; then I’ll deliver him my single
back to “in a relationship”. This repeats
in-relationship-status postings are more
finger salute in real space not cyber.
several times over the next few months
about the poster seeking revenge on, or
until they post “engaged”, then “single”,
initiating a reaction from their (ex)lover
then “it’s complicated”, then back to
than anything else. They are a way to
“engaged”. Meanwhile… we’re reaching
say, “See… I’m moving on!” or, “I’m put-
for the Dramamine.
ting myself back on the market!” or, “I’m
Arts and Flowers March 31 – April 3, 2011 Scores of breathtaking floral arrangements by more than 40 Valley floral designers accent art works on view in the galleries
Fashion Independent: The Original Style of Ann Bonfoey Taylor Opens February 28 An impressive and personal collection of works by the most masterful fashion designers of the 1950s and 60s Devoured March 12 & 13, 2011 The Valley’s premier culinary event blends savory food from independent Phoenix restaurants, wine, and inspirational art Théatre de la Mode Opens March 12 Miniature mannequins created in 1944 and dressed in post WWII Parisian couture make their Southwest debut
Announcing new and ending old relationships on cyberspace has become a trend.
Taking the time to make you comfortable.
If iconic pop diva, Madonna, can do it, so can we, it seems. After she declared the end of her relationship with Jesus Luz over the internet, Madonna took comments from fans on the change in her status. One fan Twittered, “Hello Madonna honey am glad you are single again – you made your best music as a single woman!” To which she responded: “NOT AS GLAD AS I AM!”
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Before the existence of Facebook, Twitter and the other social media sites, this kind of semi-intimate relationship information
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was usually shared exclusively with only the closest friends and family. Today,
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many people have no qualms about broadcasting the highs and lows of their
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love relationships all over the internet, or at least to their 200 closest internet
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Page 32
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TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Page 33
Parting Shot
Treasure the Moments. .
Welcome to Our World! Until Next Month. . Page 34
TukeeAZ Magazine www.TukeeAZ.com Volume 1 Issue 3 February 2011
Thank You, Ahwatukee...
...For making this a great place to live!
We would like to feature a random act of kindness monthly. Please help us to do so by identifying those special individuals. Email us at Melanie@BeauchampLawOffice.com
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