Tara woods april 2016

THE COLUMNS Vol. 27 No. 4

941-349-0194

Tara Woods Homeowners Association – www.twha.us

April 2016

| ISLAND VISITOR PUBLISHING, LLC | www.islandvp.com

ATTENTION: NEW AND “OLD” RESIDENTS Coming to Tara Woods:

Community

Opportunity Fair Saturday, November 19 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM Attention: ALL Groups, Clubs, Sports, Etc. This is YOUR opportunity to let the residents know what wonderful opportunities are available in our Tara Woods Community.

HERE IS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO?

Reserve a table to showcase PROVIDE INFORMATION! What information do you your group, club, sport, etc. • What does your group do? want to share with all What can you offer to attract residents to your table and entice them to join your group?

• When do you do it?

• Where do you do it?

• Who’s involved?

the residents?

Be prepared to answer questions.

Be creative! Have fun!

This event is sponsored by the Tara Woods Homeowner’s Association Board of Directors.

If you have any questions or would like a “Table Request Form”, contact Janet Daly, President, 567-2285, janetdaly@yahoo.com

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Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

MANAGER’S CORNER Hope everyone enjoyed Appreciation Day. Congratulations to Celeste and Tony Perre, Tara Woods Appreciation Day Honorees.

It has been brought to my attention by Lee County Utilities (the water company) that many of you are flipping over the lid of your meter box and the small round insert is sitting on top. This raises that piece. If it gets hit by the mowers, it could cause serious injury or damage to the mower, the machine, or to the meter cover. These meter boxes are supposed to be flush with the ground. The water company is requesting that they be put back to their correct position. Lee County Utilities will not be responsible for any damage caused by the lids in this position being hit. Thank you for your quick action on this issue.

We are now approaching Hurricane Season. If you are

leaving for the summer, make sure everything has been put away. Do not leave anything on your driveway that can blow away (barbeque grills, flower pots, chairs and bicycles). Please make arrangements to have your grounds trimmed and trees pruned. It is a good idea to have someone check your home during the summer months to make sure there are no leaks, and either the air is working or you have a humidistat. Mold will build up due to the high humidity.

Last month I requested that outside lights be repaired. I have noticed there are still some lights out; let’s light up our streets, folks. Please make sure your light is working. If you need someone, or to make repairs, please call the office and we can suggest someone. A special “THANK YOU” to those who have repaired their lights. Do not turn off the lights when you

leave. The electric that they use is minimal, and a sensor can be put on so they only go on in the evening.

If you plan on having guests during the summer months, no glass containers at the pool, no children in diapers in the pool, and no children driving golf carts.

Please make sure you notify the gate when your guests will be visiting and who they are.

The security gates have been installed for your safety; please slow down when entering the community. The speed limit is still 20 MPH. For all who are leaving to go back north for the summer or on vacation, we have a beautiful community and the best residents we could ask for.

Please drive safely and enjoy the summer.

Doug Objartel Community Manager

THOUGHT FOR THE MONTH

Life is not measured by how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Activities, Sports & Clubs can be found on pages: 8-13 and 20-22.

Thank you!

State Clubs can be found on pages: 16 and 17. Thank you!

ATTENTION NEW HOMEOWNERS ORIENTATION MEETING Orientation for new homeowners will be held on Saturday, April 30th at 10:30 AM in the Clubhouse Living Room. All newcomers (home owners and renters) are encouraged to attend. This 1-1½ hour meeting is loaded with important information about our community and the surrounding area. A large packet will be handed out to all who attend containing the Homeowners Association Guidelines, hurricane preparation tips and lots of other important and interesting infor-

mation.

We strongly encourage you to attend. This is your community and we want to fill you in on everything we can. We guarantee you will learn some new things about Tara Woods.

The next orientation will not be until the Fall.

We look forward to seeing you.

Donna Phillips, 731-5802, and Bev Bayer, 464-9668.

ATTENTION ALL SPORTS AND CLUB CHAIR PEOPLE There were more than two of you who have asked to speak at Orientation. However, I have only received two articles to go into the Orientation packet for the newcomers. We have some other thoughts on ways that we might help you get the information out if you are interested. Take the summer to put together your article so that we may include it in the fall packets.

For those of you who missed the article last month -- here it is.

Some of you have asked to speak at Orientation or have us give your sport, group, card game or whatever an extra ‘pitch’. We wish we could do

it for all of you and we know that many of you are looking for new folks to join shuffleboard, scrabble, the softball team and all the other things that Tara Woods has to offer. What we have come up with is this. Any of you who would like to send Donna Phillips (djphillips347@aol.com) no more than a half page type written sheet about your activity, we will include it in the packet of handouts we give the newcomers and mention it in the overview. You will want to include time, place, a brief description, contact name and number.

If you have any questions, please call Donna, 731-5802.

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FROM THE PRESIDENT March Madness came to Tara Woods, and it has nothing to do with basketball! If you came to Saturday Coffee or Bingo in March, there were about eight tables lined up, giving you a variety of opportunities to give away your money – or your blood! This will slow down a little during April, but there is still lots going on.

The Saturday of the Trash and Treasure sale, the tables were lined up by the parking lot door, instead of across the front of the clubhouse. This seemed like a good arrangement and the suggestion was made to keep it that way all the time. The majority of those present agreed, so we’re giving it a try.

Don’t be surprised when you come in, to be greeted by the posters and tables offering you all the special ways to enjoy yourself here in Tara Woods.

For the past month, I have been publicizing a new event that will take place in November. The Board of Directors is sponsoring a Community Opportunity Fair to be held on Saturday, November 19th from 3:00 – 6:00 PM in the Clubhouse. The goal is to have every group, club, sport, game, etc. represented at a table to promote their activity and inspire new members.

We hope this will attract the many new residents in the community, as well as all residents or renters who

are interested in trying something new. The Board is making an effort to contact every group in the Tara Woods Telephone Directory.

This could be by telephone, e-mail or in person, in anticipation of having everyone participate. We are urging you to be creative in decorating your table/s or however you wish to promote your group, provide refreshments, hand-outs, freebee’s, etc. You are asked to fill out a short form with your group information and any requests you may have for the event. If your group has not been notified by this time, please give me a call.

It is also important that you attend if you are a new resident, old resident, or renter seeking to find out more about all the activities available and areas where volunteers are needed in the Tara Woods community. This is your opportunity to talk with a representative and gather information on a group of your interest in a fun atmosphere, on a one-to-one basis.

We welcome any volunteers who would like to work with the Board to make this a successful event.

You will hear more about the Community Opportunity Fair as it develops over the coming months.

The new Community Picture Directory is now in the hands of Lifetouch for printing. This major project was overseen by Director

Ann Millette and completed with the help of her extremely conscientious committee including Pat and Lou Dunning, Joanie Byrnes, Pat Sparany, Marcia Poveromo, and George Daly. Thanks to you and all of your helpers, this project was a success. It will be great to be able to put a name to a face and will serve to bring our Community even closer.

Thank you to Director Lou Dunning for bringing Home Health Services to our community on March 10th for a very informative program on Balance and Fall Prevention. Very interesting information was shared with the 77 people who attended, and all were treated to pizza and soda, as well as an opportunity to have their balance checked. Home Health Services provides seminars on a variety of other health topics of interest to an aging community, so watch for similar programs in the future.

The next meeting of the Association is on Monday, April 11th at 7:00 PM. I look forward to seeing you there.

Janet Daly In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. -Abraham Lincoln

COLUMNS’ DISTRIBUTION FOR THE SUMMER MONTHS To all our residents who are heading north for the summer and want to receive a copy of the Columns while you are away, please remember to drop off your stamped, self-addressed envelopes to me before you leave.

Due to the format of the Columns, you will need a 9”x12” envelope for each copy you want

to receive while you are away. Postage will be $1.61 for U.S. and $2.91 for Canada. If you have any questions, please give me a call.

Gail Sanfilippo 19732 Charleston Circle 567-1401

COLUMNS STAFF EDITOR: Barbara J. Roland (Barbara_Roland@comcast.net)

ASSISTANTS: Linda Engel, Mary Ellen Gold, and Marcia Poveromo PHOTOGRAPHY: Ann Kabbas & Pat Sparany CALENDAR: Polly Brown CIRCULATION: Gail Sanfilippo, Manager COORDINATORS: Stuart & Belle Berman, Bill Black, Agatha Breen, Jane & Bill Crawford, Peggy Gamble, Lloyd & Carolyn Kelsey, Sharie and Norm Libby, Diane & Bob Nunn, Kathy & Roger Rafferty, Ed Simko, George Stelling, Susan Uccello, & Julia Wehrung.

ALTERNATES: Joanie Byrnes, Joanne & Bob Byrne, Al Dion, Pat Dunning REPORTERS: Reporters will be noted by their bylines at the end of each article.

Lou Dunning, Tara Woods Homeowners Association Liaison To advertise in print, contact: Bob or Emy Stein at 941-349-0194 or email us at islandvp@verizon.net.

Contributing writers are acknowledged with bylines accompanying their submissions. Attribution for photos are not included unless supplied. We sincerely thank everyone for their contributions. Your articles help showcase the strong and diverse community that makes up Tara Woods. The Columns is published monthly from October through May. Summer issues are condensed: June/July and August/September.

All ads are subject to the approval of the publisher. It is the responsibility of the party placing any ad for publication in The Columns to meet all applicable legal requirements in connection with the ad such as compliance with town, county and state codes in first obtaining an occupational license for business, permitted home occupation, or residential rental property.

DISCLAIMER: Please be aware that when you hire an unlicensed/uninsured person to do work at your home, you accept the liability. Island Visitor Publishing is not responsible for claims made by advertisers

HOW WE DECIDED ON TARA WOODS How about telling us how you decided to live in Tara Woods?

Submit a paragraph or two, and let us know how you picked Tara Woods as your year-round home or as your home-away-from-home during the winter months. Please include a picture of yourself as well, if you have one (pictures should be in .jpg format).

Your article can be short and concise, or you can go into greater detail. Articles are published as space permits. During the summer months when other news is not so abundant, space opens for articles like this, as well as News from the North.

Please submit your article to Barbara Roland, barbara_roland@ comcast.net.

4 | The Columns

Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

“ROCK, ROLL, AND REMEMBER.” Ellsworth Heating & Cooling was founded in SW Florida 48 years ago, making it one of the oldest and most reliable family owned and operated air conditioning companies in the county.

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Friday, April 1st Time: 7:00 PM Price: $7.00 Hope you already have your ticket to the New Image Chorus Spring Concert, “Rock, Roll, and Remember”. The “Choralaires” from Del Tura will be joining us on this new joined venture

APPRECIATION DAY 2016 The Appreciation Day Committee would like to thank all the volunteers who presided over the poker run, games, bingo, the setting up of the Clubhouse, and the many other behind-the-scenes activities. It was a job well done.

Also, a “thank you” to Hometown America for providing the funds to support the day’s activities, and to the hard work of their staff.

Another big “thank you” to all our residents who participated in the events of the day, from coffee and donuts, riding around in golf carts solving clues, eating a catered lunch, playing games, ending the day with bingo, and finally the awards and a little two-stepping at the night time dance.

From your input, the format for 2016 was changed, (e.g., you requested a served catered lunch and no parade). The committee is looking again for your ideas and suggestions for 2017. Keep in mind we are not allowed to give ANY monetary gifts as prizes.

Enclosed in the Columns is a questionnaire looking for your ideas and suggestions. Please take time and give us your input and put the questionnaire in the sealed box in the Clubhouse.

The Committee thanks you.

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www.twha.us • 941.349.0194 • April 2016 • Island Visitor Publishing, LLC

TARA WOODS SILVER ALERT PROGRAM There was a flyer included with the February Columns with the names and phone numbers for the representatives of the Silver Alert Committee.

This program was designed to help locate a family member with a mental disability who has walked away from home.

If you contact a representative, after notifying the Sheriff’s Office, he will have a list of members who will ride through our community to assist in locating the missing person.

They will also have a form to fill out so the volunteer can identify the person. It will include name, height, weight and clothing etc.

Robert Glandorf Chuck Poveromo Stuart Berman Jack Boylan

239-543-6683 815-979-3467 239-220-2369 239-567-0119

And they say we should give up our guns!

This is a story of selfcontrol and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

She was asked, “What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?” “A Beretta Jetfire”, she answered! A nice testimonial for the Beretta Jetfire. Here is her story in her own words: “While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages with my soon-to-be ex-husband, discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge

12-foot alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive. If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my husband’s knee cap was all it took.

The ‘gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It’s one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible!”

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Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

FMO

The Painted Cabana

For those of you who have not heard, it is my sad duty to report on the passing of Bud Snell on Thursday, February 18th. Bud was a long-time advocate of FMO. Along with Fred Gabriel and Bill Keibler, Bud donated many hours of his time to keep us updated on what FMO and the legislature were doing and how it might impact us as residents of Tara Woods.

While he will not be with us physically, his spirit will always be with us. Rest in peace.

For some of us it’s time to renew our membership. A 3-year

renewal is the easiest and best way. You write one check and don’t have to worry about it again until 2019. If you have questions about FMO or the importance of your renewal, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Our next meeting is Friday, April 8th at Pine Lakes Country Club. Meetings start at 1:00 PM. Refreshments are served during the break. All are welcome.

As Bud always said, FMO needs you and you need FMO.

SUNSHINE AND SYMPATHY Condolences to the family and friends of Bud Snell, Jan Murphy, and former resident Rita Dickie.

Get well wishes are sent to Jackie Hammond, George Kazakis, and to former resident Carmen Censer and others in our community who are suffering with medical issues.

Stuart Berman

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www.twha.us • 941.349.0194 • April 2016 • Island Visitor Publishing, LLC

Who: All residents, friends, family and visitors.

New residents especially welcome!

What: Saturday Morning Coffee Where: At the Clubhouse When: The first, third, fourth and fifth Saturdays of the month at 8:00 AM (Pancake Breakfast is the second Saturday from November – May) Why: To meet your friends and neighbors for friendly conversation over a cup or two of coffee.

• To hear what’s going on in the community at the General Meeting at 8:45 AM. • To meet members of the TWHA Board of Directors who take turns hosting each meeting.

• To support your Kitchen Committee who supply a variety of donuts, bagels and Kaiser Rolls with various toppings, including cream cheese, butter, jelly and homemade cream cheese w/olives.

• To purchase tickets to the latest events.

• To purchase “Social” tickets and, hopefully, leave with a little extra cash.

• To pay your Homeowner’s dues.

• To read the bulletin board.

• To hear some Wit and Wisdom from our residents.

• ……and more!

RSVP: Sign up on the sign-up sheet on the back bulletin board. It would be helpful if you signed up by Thursday of each week.

Hope to see you there!

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TENNIS ASSOCIATION MEETING Prior to the February 28th meeting, a copy of the suggested changes to the Tennis Association By-Laws was distributed among the meeting attendees for their review. The proposed By-Laws changes were voted on and, as expected, were approved at this meeting. They will take effect in November of this year.

Frank Neveu will repair the score tree on Court 4 and he will fix the net on Court 3. Frank will also talk to Doug Objartel about the pickle-ball lines on Court 1.

Because of a Clubhouse scheduling conflict, we cannot hold our usual March meeting (which is the last meeting of the tennis season) until Sunday, April 3rd. We will have our election of officers at this meeting. As many of our members may no longer be here to attend our April 3rd meeting,

cial. The sun was shining and the temperature was just about perfect for the 19 people who came out to play in the co-ed tennis social that was arranged by Glen Fisher.

We had plenty of courtside refreshments which were provided

by Gerry and Terry Gagnon.

Thanks to both of them for volunteering to arrange this.

Dinner was arranged by Bob and Debbie Polenska, with help from Joe Nutt (brother-in-law to Bob). Swiss burgers, potato salad, coleslaw, and corn were enjoyed by the 34 people who came for dinner. For dessert, we had a beautifully decorated (and delicious) cake.

The last Round Robin of the season is scheduled for Sunday, April 3rd. The usual format will be used for this Round Robin.

ROUND ROBIN Frank and Carole Neveu will be What beautiful weather we had hosting the dinner; they plan to for the February 28th Tennis So- serve pizza, salad, and dessert.

this is a reminder that a member in good standing is entitled to vote by written proxy. Proxy ballots will be available from Association Secretary Kathy Rafferty after March 20th. Ballots must be signed and dated by the voter, initialed by the Secretary, and returned to her prior to the April 3rd meeting.

The Nominating Committee of Roger Rafferty and Judy Holat submitted the names of Dakota Windancer for President, Debbie Polenska for Secretary, Frank Neveu as Vice-President, and Carole Neveu as Treasurer.

We will also be adding a fifth Board member, namely, Director at Large, to be elected at the February 2017 Tennis Association Meeting.

(Continues on page 9)

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Bring This Ad (no copies) for

(Continuing Tennis News from page 8)

APPRECIATION DAY The weather was just about perfect for this year’s Resident Appreciation Day. The temperature was a little cool, but we had abundant sunshine all day long.

A total of 63 people showed up to try their skill at our three tennis games. Because we didn’t keep score at this year’s games, I don’t know who hit the most tennis balls through that small hole in the board. And, as far as this reporter knows, no one knocked down all 10 bowling pins, and no one hit the tennis ball into the teapot which sat atop one of the chairs – although I was told some-

one did come close. I think everyone had fun trying!

For next year, one possibility for another tennis game, to be played on Court 4, is hitting a tennis ball into a container (like our blue recycling bins). Please consider volunteering to run a game like this. If anyone has any other ideas for another tennis game, please let us know. Wouldn’t it be great to have a game on all four tennis courts!

Volunteer Needed: We are looking for someone to run the tennis Hole-in-the-Board game for Appreciation Day. Warren and I have been in charge of this game for the past five years, and we are ready to have someone else take it over. Don and Sharon Boehlke ran this game for four or five years prior to us taking it over from them in 2012. They inherited the game from Jim Harris.

When Warren and I took it over, there was just this one tennis game for Appreciation Weekend.

The other two tennis games were added four years ago.

Please consider volunteering to take over this game and give us a call. We will give you all the information you need to run this game. – Linda Engel TENNIS LEAGUES WOMEN’S LEAGUE By the time you read this article, our SWIFT League will be over for another season. As of this writing (March 5th), we are in 2nd place, with a good chance to finish the season in 1st place. We have three more matches to play in March, with the final match on March 24th. You will have to wait to read about our final standings when they are reported in the May issue of the Columns.

We have an end-of-season

(Continues on page 10)

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FISH ON FRIDAYS After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched – with a raised eyebrow.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week.

Can you do this?”

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(Continuing Tennis News from page 9) Round Robin at Herons Glen enjoyable season. All the White and our Luncheon at Pine Lakes Team players would like to thank – both on Thursday, March all our fans for supporting us 31st. Both outings are always this season; it sure helps to have enjoyed by everyone who at- friends to watch our matches. tends. – Linda Engel On another note, someone put some graffiti on my address post MEN’S LEAGUE and tree. You can retrieve your Red League stuff anytime, but it will cost The Tara Woods Red Team you!! – Gerry Gagnon is performing much better since the beginning of January. We Blue League are no longer in last place. On It’s hard to believe that only March 2nd we played against three games remain (as of March Sabal Springs and won 4 sets 3rd) until the season ends, and and lost 2. That was a good we continue to be mired in the showing for us against a very middle of the pack. The weather strong team. Congratulations. for the most part has been specLike a well oiled machine, tacular, and our fans and cheerwe are peaking at the right leaders continue to pack the time to finish the year strong!!! bleachers and cheer us on. But the best we can hope for is 5th Cheers. – Glen Fisher place this year in a league with eight teams. In our game against White League Our final match of the season Herons Glen on March 4th we was March 15, and I continue to took 4 sets and lost 2. Better be amazed at how fast this ten- luck next year. – Bill Powers nis season has ended. Although our end results were not what Submitted by Linda Engel we would have liked, it was an

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So Ladies and Gentlemen…..we hope that you all took the opportunity to join us as we presented “Senior Follies” on stage in our Clubhouse. As you read this, the play is a distant memory, and I hope a good one. We certainly hope that you enjoyed the performances as much as we did putting it together for you. Now we take a breather for a few months while we look ahead to another production in 2017. In the meantime, we do hope that those of you who head north do so safely.

As much as we who stay here all year enjoy the summer not quite so crowded, it is very busy and exciting when you all come back. Reading the Columns shows us all how busy we can be. But this summer please take a moment and think about the play and the performers; maybe you would like to be part of the fun in the production. We can use your talent in many areas not only acting. You have seen the set this year and we make a different one each year; we can always use new people who like to paint or build; contact us if you are interested. This fall starting in October we will be in rehearsal on Monday and Thursday at 8:00 AM to 10:00 AM and we can always use a new stand-in. We have stand-

ins, who are not actors, read the lines of the actors who are missing a rehearsal or two for various reasons. This could be a way to try your hand at acting without the commitment.

If this tweaks your interest, please show up and talk to us; we would love to see you there.

If you have any questions, feel free to call me, Pat Dunning, 599-4490, and I would love to speak with you. Every one of the Entertainers is appreciative of your support and encouragement.

Pat-one, Stage Manager Entertainers P.S. Polly Brown now has the CD’s from TARA’S GOT TALENT – if interested; call her at 246-2391.

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THE GARDEN CLUB The Trash and Treasure was a GREAT SUCCESS “Thank You” to everyone who donated items this year.

Special Thank You to: - The men who helped set up the tables and then returned to help put the Clubhouse back in order.

- Ken Atkinson who advertised the event at the flea market.

- Bill Black for buying lots of the leftover stuff.

- Janet Daly for donating money made on coffee and donuts during the event.

- Shirley Boyle who arranged to have the leftovers taken away. and, of course, - The wonderful Mem-

bers of the Garden Club who worked hard pricing, setting up, selling, and packing.

Sponsored by Bonworth Fashions in the Shoppes at Del Prado

Again, “Thank you” to everyone who made this event possible; the monies made from this event make it possible for us to have the Fashion Show for free.

We do not have a meeting in April. At the luncheon, we will be voting for our officers.

The luncheon is open to Garden Club members only (family members if visiting).

Your dues must be paid beThis year’s Fashion Show fore this event, please. will be: This year’s luncheon will be at: Friday, November 4th (Continues on page 13)

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Vegetables: Continue Anthony’s on the Green at planting warm-season vegSabal Springs etables such as eggplant, April 15th 12:00 PM southern pea, bush bean, Menu and sign-up sheet sweet potato, and summer will be in the Clubhouse on squash. Watch irrigation if the weather is dry.

March 15th.

Rachelle DellaRocca, 543-7755 South Florida Gardening – APRIL What to plant Annuals: Plant heat-tolerant annuals, such as coleus, vinca, and portulaca.

Bulbs: Cannas thrive in the heat of summer. New varieties have colorful leaves as well as flowers.

Herbs: Add nasturtiums to your herb garden. The leaves and flowers add a peppery zest to salads.

environmental and nutritional disorders in palm trees.

Oleanders: Chewed or ragged leaves indicate oleander caterpillars at work.

Fruits: Propagate fruit crops by air layering and grafting.

Divide perennials and bulbs: Divide clumps of bulbs, ornamental grasses, and herbaceous perennials to expand garden beds or to pass along to friends.

Shrubs: Choose from a wide variety of shrubs to add to the landscape now.

What to do Pests: When monitoring insect activity, know which bugs damage plants and which do not.

Identify and conserve beneficial insects: Some insects should be encouraged in your yard!

Flowering Plants: Damaged flowers on gardenias (This is an excerpt from the and roses may indicate thrips University of Florida website, are present. please visit for complete inTomatoes: Watch for formation) pests, disease, and nutritional disorders on developing tomato plants.

Palms: Identify and treat

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Invite your friends to live at Tara Woods, and you could earn up to $500* when they purchase a new home. Call 239-731-1011 for details! *Referral reward restricted to Hometown America residents. Customer must register the resident who referred them at time of their initial visit. Residents whose referral purchases a new or special-order home will receive up to $500. Residents whose referral purchases a Hometown America-owned inventory home will receive up to $300. Residents whose referral purchases a brokered home will receive up to $100. Residents who refer will receive money after closing of escrow. Other terms and conditions may apply. Call 239-731-1011 for more details.

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14 | The Columns

Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

TREASURES OF TARA

It is not surprising that Jan graduated Magna Cum Laude from Montclair State University, majoring in English, Drama and Speech Pathology. Her natural abilities and talent are obvious, but, as you speak with her, you can readily see her love for her family, dedication to her faith and her goodness and concern for others.

Fred, too, is a very talented man, graduating with a degree in Industrial Arts Education.

After marrying, Fred and Jan both taught at Wayne High School. Fred taught woodworking, metal work, graphic arts, photography, ceramics and auto mechanics (wish I

had been in his class!!!). After school and in the summers, Fred worked as a Home Inspector and was a member and officer in ASHI (American Society of Home Inspectors). Jan taught English and did speech therapy for nearly three years and then baby Ellen arrived.

The family moved to Fair Haven, NJ where they lived for 33 years.

After their second daughter Alison started kindergarten, Jan returned to teaching. She was a Speech Pathologist and Special Education teacher in Rumson for 26 years. Fred continued his Industrial Arts Teaching career. One year, he was voted New Jersey Industrial Arts Teacher of the Year.

For a time he became a State Supervisor for Industrial Arts.

In 1967 the Puhlfuerst family moved to Saudi Arabia, where Fred taught for Saudi Aramco (the American oil companies, Exxon, Esso and

Texaco). He instructed workers in the proper use of modern tools. During the 6 Day War, the family was evacuated and returned home to Fair Haven.

The family was also involved in “Operation Friendship”, a student exchange program. Jan and Fred each served as group leaders (ten young people to a group). They traveled to Europe, where they stayed in host homes for three weeks. Both of their daughters also participated in the program, traveling with other groups to England.

The Puhlfuersts have traveled extensively, chiefly through the Elderhostel Program (educational trips for senior citizens). They also enjoyed many Tara Woods cruises. Their favorite was the Mediterranean cruise.

Fred was a volunteer fire fighter in Fair Haven and recently received his 50-year membership pin. Both Fred and Jan served as Deacons

and Elders in their church, and were also involved in other programs there. In their free time Fred joined the Jaycees, where he became President.

He was also President of the Monmouth County Industrial Arts Association, and served on the Fair Haven Town Council. During this time Jan continued her teaching as a Speech Pathologist in Rumson. One of her favorite anecdotes is about rescuing a neighbor’s dog – Bruce Springstein’s dog!!

Wow!! Ask her the interesting story some day.

In 2001 the Puhlfuersts purchased their Tara Woods home.

Since that time, Fred has totally remodeled the home. He built a large addition to the back with a large bathroom, third bedroom and expanded storage shed. He became immediately involved with Appreciation Weekend, has chaired the Pancake Breakfast for 13 years, and plays tennis on the

“Thank you” to all who donated and to those who helped at the Trash and Treasure, making this event a huge success.

Red Team (which means he is really good!). He still helps people with home maintenance and repairs. Jan was Editor of the Columns for three years and acted for several years with the Entertainers (remember her as Edith Bunker?) She also participated in Chorus, Inspirations, Water Aerobics and Yoga. Most impressively, during times of ill health, she pushes and pushes, which is not an easy thing to do.

Fred and Jan daily show their concern for other people and continue to share their gifts and talents with us, their two daughters, five grandchildren and one precious greatgranddaughter. They are both grateful for their family and the friends they have made here in Tara Woods. Thank you, Fred and Jan, for your goodness and all you do for us. You are both an inspiration.

Mary Nothnagel

The Mid-Atlantic Club celebrated Valentine’s Day at the Shell Factory with the Del Prados playing music for dancing and enjoyment.

Here are a few members who enjoyed the evening.

- Linda Weibel

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www.twha.us • 941.349.0194 • April 2016 • Island Visitor Publishing, LLC

TOWN FILLED WITH ANGELS This article was published in Women’s World magazine, 2/22/16.

Our son, Frank Millette (III) and his wife, Darlene, live in Middleboro, MA. Darlene has 3 sisters, the youngest was Robin.

Robin was married to Edgardo Aponte and had 2 children. A little over 2 years ago Edgardo died in an accident, leaving Robin with 2 children, ages 12 and 2. Less than a year before Edgardo died, Darlene and Robin’s mother passed away from complications after surgery. This brought Darlene and Robin closer than ever, both living in the same town.

When Robin passed away from a massive heart attack at 35 years old, Frank and Darlene didn’t give it another thought and took in Robin’s 2 children, even though they have 4 children of their own and lived in a small 4-bedroom home. When the word spread around town, neighbors came over with casseroles, etc.

One of their friends decided to throw a fundraiser to try to get an addition added to their house. This article was published in the March edition of Woman’s World magazine and I want to share it with you. I am so proud of my family.

Ann and Frank Millette

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MID-ATLANTIC NEWS

After our March “Wine, Cheese/Appetizer and Silent Auction” event at the Clubhouse, the Mid-Atlantic Club has made plans for another great outing!

We will be going to Punta Gorda on Sunday, April 3rd.

Sylvia Stump has made arrangements for the Club to have brunch at the Isles Yacht Club at 11:00 AM. Jane Crawford is hoping to have a date set for a boat ride to Cabbage Key later in

April, so watch the Bulletin Board for a sign-up sheet for this fun time!

May 8th and June 19th are scheduled for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day events at the Clubhouse. Let’s think of things to do that are easy and fun for everyone!

Just a reminder....if there are readers looking for a smaller, fun club to join, you are invited to attend one or two of our Clubhouse events at no charge. Even though our name is “MidAtlantic” we have fulltimers and snowbirds from many states.

Mary Donald, Secretary

MIDWEST CLUB POOL PARTY It’s time to “ham it up” at the last bash of the season.

Join us on the veranda for swimming, food, fellowship and music!

WHEN: Friday, April 8th TIME: 4:00 - 9:00 PM BRING: Bring Your Own Beverage and a dish or dessert to share.

Ham will be provided.

FINAL MEETING: Election for new president Vote on acceptance of current guidelines Sanibel Hotel drawing Sign up if you plan to attend.

Sign up to help with table and chair set-up and take down.

Computer Problems I Come to You!

Whether you need help with a program or have a problem with your computer, I can help — or there’s no charge.

Learn how to use your Smartphone, Tablet & Computer!

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NEW ENGLAND CLUB Our next event is the Lobsterfest with the New York/ New Jersey Club. The date is Saturday, April 9th at 4:00 PM. No information is available at Columns deadline time, so please watch the main bulletin board in the Clubhouse for info.

The New England Club will end our season with our annual Yankee/Red Sox party. It will be held on Saturday, April 30th at 6:30 PM at Beef ‘O’Brady’s on Del Prado. The game starts at 7:05 PM. The Club will pick up the tab for wine, beer, soda, coffee and dessert. Club members are responsible for their own food

NEW YORK/NEW JERSEY CLUB

checks. Sign-up will begin on March 30th and PLEASE if you are planning on attending, sign up so we can give the restaurant a head count, as space will be reserved for us. And don’t forget to wear your Yankee (or Red Sox) fan gear!

we will be going out to lunch. Watch the bulletin board for the sign-up sheet for this outing. As always, everyone from New York and New Jersey is welcome to attend our meetings and events. New residents, renters and visitors are especially welcome. I look forward to seeing everyone at Lobsterfest and on Saturday, April 30th.

Janet Daly, 567-2285

Judy Machnicz

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$

Thank you to everyone who helped at our March meeting; preparing and bringing food, greeting and cleaning up. It was our Club Birthday celebration, so “Happy Birthday”, again, to all our Club members.

I hope you have your

tickets for the Lobsterfest on Saturday, April 9th with the New England Club. We have some fun stuff planned, as well as a great seafood feast. Signup sheets for helpers on Friday and Saturday were available at the March meeting and are now hanging on the Club bulletin board. Please check to see if there are any spots open where you might be able to help.

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18 | The Columns

Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

LAST NEIGHBORHOOD WISHES Doug Smith is on his deathbed, and WATCH knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, Your NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH is working for you.

A primary reason for the watch is the protection of our residents. Check on your neighbors who may be housebound or ill. If you haven’t seen them for a while, check on them.

If you are planning a getaway, tell your neighbors where you are going and how you can be reached.

3/17

“The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely on advertisements. Before you decide, ask me to send you free written information about my qualifications and experience.”

Take care of each other.

Sarah replies, “Property? The Stinker had a paper route!”

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THIS MONTH’S TIPS: • Contact the Front Gate to inform them of any visiting relatives, guests or deliveries. We would hate to see your pizza delivered cold.

• The office maintains a list of preferred guests and communicates that to the gate. If you wish to have a name added or removed from that list, you must call them.

his daughter, and two sons, are with him.

He asks for two witnesses to be present, and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes. When all is ready he begins to speak: My son, “Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.”

My daughter “Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end.”

My son, “Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.”

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property”.

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ENTERTAINMENT AROUND TARA WOODS BINGO at TARA WOODS

Be one of the winners at our Tuesday night BINGO.

And you can win more than once during the night!

If your eyesight isn’t as good as it once was, now you

can play too. We have really BIG game packs and “Specials” that are 8 ½” x 11” with 2” numbers.

No additional charge for the ticket that can make you the “King” or the “Queen” for the night and earn you even more money on all game sheets.

Game packets are sold with either 6 game squares

per sheet or 9 game squares. The “Special” game papers have 3 game squares. Buy as many as you’d like!

Ladies and Gentlemen, come join us on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of each month at 7:00 PM in the Card Room. Cost is $3.00.

Will you have the first Bunco or the last, or the most? Will you have the most wins, or the most losses? If you do, the prize money will be yours!

Come join the fun. Questions: call Polly Brown 731-1614

HORSESHOES

Don’t forget every Friday at 1:00 PM at the pits.

Come join us for some laughs.

Questions: call Patty Sparany 543-5144

AGGRAVATION

Our Tuesday night BINGO session consists of 14

Meets in the Clubhouse Card Room at 7:00 PM on Monday and Thursday nights.

The game consists of 11 hands and is easy to learn. Eight quarters gets you in. Come join the fun and play a great card game.

We also have “Hot Ball” prizes of $50.00 or more and a “Social” raffle. Sales STOP at 6:45 PM. Come join the fun.

MAH JONGG

regular games and 6 “Special” games

BOCCE Tuesdays at 10:00 AM No need to sign up Don’t need a partner New teams chosen every week ~ Easy to learn Questions: call Frank Millette 543-2954

BRIDGE

Looking for all bridge players. We play on Tuesdays in the Card Room – come between 12:30 and 12:45 PM. Call Beth first to come and join our friendly group. Call Beth Ferris, 543-6295, or Rita Sick, 731-1106, if you are interested in joining this friendly group to play bridge.

Come join the Mah Jongg group. Do not know how to play? We teach the first three Mondays of the month. We have a great time.

Come & join us on Mondays 12:00-3:00 PM. The Happy Ladies of Mah Jongg.

Any questions, please contact: Jane DeGuire, 567-0656, or Ruth Zimmer,731-8594.

POKER, ANYONE ?!

LADIES! DO YOU PLAY POKER? How long has it been since you’ve played with friends? Did you know there’s a game every Monday night at the Clubhouse just for the ladies? Well, we really don’t have a “No Boys Allowed!!!” rule, but men usually don’t like to play with wild cards and we do. But they’re welcome to play as long as they are willing to “play like girls”. It is most likely the least stressful and least expensive poker you can play around here! It’s a good night to socialize with the ladies and make new friends with the girls who like to play poker. The stakes are very low. Call Polly Brown, 7311614, if you’d like to join us – she’ll fill you in on the details or answer any questions you may have.

EUCHRE CLUB Meets on Wednesday Nights In the Clubhouse Card Room at 7:00 PM. $.50 to buy in, but offers some “big” prize money!

Contact: Bill Keibler, 586-216-6526, or Lorraine Smith, 567-1392.

The Regular Monthly Happy Hour will be held on Wednesday, April 13th, on the Verandah (or in the Clubhouse if inclement weather) at 5:00 PM. A $2.00 donation is requested.

Please bring a substantial appetizer to share along with your own table setting. Check out the notice on the bulletin board in the Clubhouse for details and please indicate whether you plan on attending. If you know of someone who hasn’t come to the regular monthly happy hour, please encourage them to attend.

These get-togethers are open to all those staying at Tara Woods and their guests and offers a great opportunity to make new friends. We are looking forward to seeing you there!

Please let me know if this request works for you or if you have other arrangements that would work better. Your support is always most appreciated.

Carl Marquis, 567-2955

HAND and FOOT CARD CLUB Come join the group for a fun-filled afternoon of cards!

We meet on Fridays at 1:00 PM in the Card Room.

Don’t know how to play the game? EASY! We will teach you! It is easy to learn.

Questions: contact Arlene Greene, 850-207-1084, or Marty Hradkowsky, 609-709-7717.

MOVIE NITE Saturday, April 30th - 7:00 PM Featuring: MISS POTTER The story of Beatrix Potter, the author of the beloved and best-selling children’s book, “The Tale of Peter Rabbit”, and her struggle for love, happiness, and success.

Starring: Renée Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, and Emily Watson Rated: PG, Biography, Drama, Romance Free Popcorn • Sodas 50 cents Lloyd and Carolyn Kelsey

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www.twha.us • 941.349.0194 • April 2016 • Island Visitor Publishing, LLC

Book Discussion Club

COMPUTER CLUB

Thursday, April 7th at 1:30 PM 2760 Steamboat Loop Join us to talk about the books we have been enjoying and maybe borrow one you would like to read.

Newcomers welcome.

Questions: Call Marilyn Workman, 543-1168

BIRTHDAYS IN APRIL: 2

3

4 5

6

7 8

9

10 11

12

Joe Foster, Carole Stonhill, Carol West, Marilyn Workman Audrey Bernard, Mark Van Ort Richard Letourneau Nancy Buettner, Kay Chrzanowski, Ed Gatens, Kathy Marquis Bob Apple, Steve Core, Ray McKinnon, Toni Reeder Doug Springsteen Belle Berman, Terry Gagnon, Pete Pracher Jack Alexander, Robin Swartz, Lori Thomas, Susan Yohn Elaine Ahern Phyl Apple, Tracy Baugher, Sandy Dahlhofer, Sandra Moser Dave Hebert, Frieda Martino,

13 14

15 16

17

18 19

20

21 22 24

27 30

Frank Millette, Helen Skrzypczak Bonnie Geary Ken Jones, Beverly Ray, Dotty St. James Perry Finkle Art Clegg, Bobbie Mester, Deb Towne Jack Boylan, Marie Cooper, Darlene Wehlage Joe Medici Linda Renzulli, Donna Riggio Roy Moorhead, Julie Vanderplaats Diane Novak Cheryl Douglas Kathy Baldwin, Rocky Beliveau Joyce Belcher, Lou Cashin Jim Hanson, Elissa Manna, Paulette Smith, Patti Thompson

ANNIVERSARIES IN APRIL: 1 2 4

7 8

12

13 16

18 19

Judy & John Pavao Claudette & Mark Burke Peggy & Ray Flynn, Joan & George Henrick Carol & Darrell Dillon Barb & Dave Stepniak, Susan & Joe Van Sickle Bonnie & Manny DiGrazia, Jo & Sam Topping Nell & Ken Jones Pauline & Ray Paquette – 61 Yrs.!

Pat & Tom Hubert Bev & Herb Langill,

20 21 22

23

25

26 27

Louise & Richard Letourneau Mary & John Burke Jean & Dave Sharp Mary & Bill Nothnagel, Susan & Darryl Yohn – 55 Yrs. Peggy & Chris Conley, Mary & John Costantini – 50 Yrs. Becky & Warren Lundmark Karen & Carl Marquis Priscilla & Bill Taylor

Contact Shirley Ringleben, 731-2748, before April 10th for Special Recognition of Anniversaries, 50, 55 or 60+ in May 2016!

What a great time it would be for us to have a “magic wand” to help us know whether or not the April issue of the Columns will be available before our Spring Concert. So…. we want to invite you one more time to:

“Rock, Roll, and Remember.”

Friday, April 1st Time: 7:00 PM Price: $7.00 The “Choralaires” from Del Tura will be joining us and we look forward to this new venture.

We want to say “Thank You” in advance for your support and it has always been our pleasure to entertain you!

If you have any questions concerning tickets or seating arrangements, please call Polly Brown, 731-1614.

Enjoy the show!

Shirley Ringleben

INSPIRATIONS GROUP THANKS YOU! The Inspirations Group wants to “Thank you” for the contributions that were given to cover the costs of sending out boxes to the service men and women, which were sent on March 19th. Your generosity is appreciated and we are sure they appreciate receiving the boxes and knowing that our community is thinking of them. We enclose a cover letter telling them about us, etc. A thank you, too, for the members who baked the cookies and helped pack the boxes. “THANK YOU!” Jean Bibeau and Beth Ferris

The Tara Woods Computer Club provides free computer classes every Thursday at 10:30 AM in the Card Room at the Clubhouse. These are open to all residents and visitors. We cover Computer Basics on the 1st and 3rd Thursday each month, and Advanced Topics the 2nd and 4th Thursday. 5th Thursdays are general question and answer sessions. It’s never too late to join our group, even if you’re a total novice.

We are wrapping up our instructions on basic computer skills for this season, and continuing with Microsoft Office (Excel and PowerPoint).

When we have finished these subjects, we will continue with those areas that the members are most interested in. We spend as much time as we need to on each topic, and the next topic to be covered is always posted on the bulletin board in the Clubhouse. Feel free to attend only those classes that appeal to you.

Bring something to take notes with and your laptop computer if you want to follow along on it. I will answer any question you care to ask me. I also give private lessons and set up or repair computers in your home. I’ve been designing and working with computers since 1968, and can help you with all of your computer needs.

A WARNING TO RESIDENTS OF TARA WOODS: There is a type of computer attack going around the country right now known as ransom-ware. Typically, you receive a notice on your screen saying that Microsoft or Comcast or CenturyLink (or some other familiar name) has detected viruses on your computer, and that you should contact them immediately.

THIS IS A SCAM! Nobody can detect viruses on your computer from any other location, and any message like this is a fake. If you follow their instructions, you can be locked out of your computer and your files until you pay them hundreds of dollars to unlock your system. If (Continues on page 22)

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Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

GOING PLACES

(Continuing Computer Club from page 21) you get a warning like this, stop what you are doing, press and hold the power button on your computer for 15 seconds until it shuts down, and call me immediately. Continuing to use your computer can lead to the loss of ALL your files.

Please call me with any questions or comments at 652-0488.

I’m looking forward to seeing you.

Dave St.Laurent, The Computer Tutor

CLUB HOUSE MINISTRIES

TARA WOODS 2017 CRUISE

8-9/16

When you read this, Easter will be over, and we have just finished our study series on “Experiencing God’s Presence”. This was both an interesting and informative study that was done not only here at Tara Woods, but in several of the surrounding communities.

I realize that some of you will be heading North in the next month or two, but before you go, come join us. As I have said before, we are a nondenominational study group with a great moderator who leads our group.

We meet every Tuesday morning at 10:00 AM in the Meeting Room here in Tara Woods.

So consider coming; we would be very pleased to have you. Bring a friend if you like.

We welcome outsiders as well.

We will be starting a new series of study on the “Serendipity Bible”, which I know is going to be very good. Hope to see you there.

Any questions call Ruth Simko, 731-7464.

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Island Visitor Publishing, LLC • April 2016 • 941.349.0194 • www.twha.us

Are You Prepared for Financial Disasters?

“Be prepared” is the Scout motto, and it’s also pretty good advice for anyone seeking to guard against various disasters – including financial ones.

Here are some events that can have serious financial consequences, along with suggestions on preparing yourself: • Loss of employment – If you were to lose your job, your family might have to struggle financially to make it until you’re employed again. To protect against this potential threat, try to build an emergency fund containing three to six months’ worth of living expenses. That’s a lot of money, of course, so it will be challenging to build such a fund – but try to contribute something each month to a liquid, low-risk account. Without such an emergency fund, you might be forced to cash out your 401(k) or other retirement plan to pay for your living expenses during your period of unemployment.

• Loss of health – If you were ill or injured, you might be out of work for weeks or months. Your employer may offer you some type of disability insurance as an employee benefit, but it might not be sufficient. So you may also want to purchase an individual plan to cover as much of your after-tax income as possible. You’ll have the flexibility to create a policy that is tailored to your needs, budget and overall financial goals. However, policies vary widely in cost and benefits, so you’ll want to shop around for the coverage that best meets your needs.

• Loss of life – Death may be an uncomfortable topic to discuss. However, if you were to pass away, it would be emotionally devastating to your loved ones – but it could also be financially catastrophic. Would your family still be able to pay the mortgage? Could your surviving spouse afford to send your kids to college? Without life insurance, your death could leave your family without the ability to cover financial obligations. The exact amount you require depends on a variety of factors, such as your family’s expenses, size of family, savings needs over time, and so on. Generally speaking, you can choose between two broad categories of insurance: term and permanent. Term insurance, as the name suggests, is designed for a specific number of years and only provides a death benefit. Permanent insurance is typically more expensive, because, in addition to the death benefit, it offers a savings component. A financial professional can help guide you through your options to determine which one is appropriate for your needs.

• Loss of property – If you own a home, you already have homeowners insurance, but it doesn’t hurt to periodically check your policy to make sure it’s kept up with any improvements or additions you’ve made to your house or other property. If you’re under-covered, and had to pay out-of-pocket for some major damage, you might be forced to dip into your long-term investments. And while you’re making sure your property is covered, you might also want to consider adding “umbrella” coverage, which can provide extra protection to you in case someone is injured at your home, or even at an event at which you may be in charge, such as a Scout meeting.

With luck, you can avoid all the threats to your financial security and that of your family. But you can’t count on always being lucky – so you need to take “financial disaster preparedness” measures soon.

This article was written by Edward Jones for use by your local Edward Jones Financial Advisor.

Edward Jones, its employees and investment representatives do not offer estate-planning, tax or legal advice.

“Adam Hromiak AAMS, CRPC is a Financial Advisor with Edward Jones Investments in Cape Coral on 3571 North Del Prado Blvd.

Suite 7 Entrada Plaza, 1/2 mile West of Rt. 41.

He can be contacted at 731-6338” 12/16

TARA WOODS COLUMNS

APRIL 2016

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MARK YOUR CALENDAR

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR UPCOMING SPECIAL EVENTS April 1st

“ROCK, ROLL AND REMEMBER” Chorus Show 7:00 PM

April 2nd

Charleston Circle Block Party CARNIVAL

5:00 PM

April 3rd

Tennis Association Meeting

5:45 PM

April 5th

TWHA Board Meeting

9:00 AM

April 7th

Book Discussion Club at Marilyn’s

1:30 PM

April 8th

Midwest Club Meeting

4:00 PM

April 9th

Pancake Breakfast

April 9th

Summer Golf League Meeting

9:30 AM

April 9th

New York-New Jersey/New England Club Lobsterfest

4:00 PM

April 11th

TWHA Meeting

7:00 PM

April 13

Happy Hour Club

5:00 PM

April 16th

Entertainers’ Business Meeting

9:30 AM

April 17th

Mid-Atlantic Club Meeting

4:00 PM

April 30th

New Residents’ Orientation

10:30 AM

April 30th

Movie Nite

7:00 PM

*** TRAVEL - THEATER

GOING PLACES

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www.rustyhippappliancerepair.net

PUNS It is said that the ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of language development.

Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest.

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, “Dam!” 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?’

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

TARA WOODS COLUMNS 6. A group of chess enthusiasts

checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the

competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to ‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it’s good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make APRIL 2016 them laugh. No pun in ten did.

CORRECTIONS TO THE CURRENT TARA WOODS DIRECTORY APRIL 2016 If you need to make any changes, additions or corrections to your listing, please call Polly Brown, 7311614, to be included in the next monthly update and the 2016-2017 directory.

Appliance Repair

1-239-674-9521 NO

TRIP CHARGE

WITH REPAIR

WHIRLPOOL • GE • KENMORE MAYTAG • FRIGIDAIRE • ALL BRANDS

1 Year Warranty On Parts 90 Days Warranty On Labor 5/16

Additions: BOOKBINDER, Gordon NOTARO, Dom & Chickie RICHERS, Jens H. STOEWRS, Bob

19574 Cotton Bay, Lot #56 19453 Charleston Circle, Lot #161 2858 Cloister Street, Lot #324 19714 Charleston Circle, Lot #75

Phone # Changes: SPARANY, Ed & Pattie

2833 Tara Lakes Circle, Lot #504

908-601-5054 599-8995 565-8919 614-783-3483

NJ NY MI OH

652-3869

Address Changes: None Misc. Changes: On page 3 under “Board-Related Groups/…” ADD: Aluminum Can Tab Collection Kathy Rafferty 543-7556 Flu Shots (Seasonal) Judy Brda 731-1797 Website Liaison George Daly 567-2285 Change “Recycling” to “Aluminum Can Collection” (still Andy) On page 4 under “Golf: Summer” (Larry Baldwin & Chick Jakacki) change to Julie Wehrung, 543-2268 Delete the Following Names: ASPIN, Robert & Ruth GABRYS, Shirley HAY, Jerry MASSIE, Joann MURPHY, Jan PIPER, Tom SNELL, Bud

***

19453 Charleston Circle, Lot #161 2570 Tara Blvd., Lot #206 2617 Macon Circle, Lot #227 2804 Steamboat Loop, Lot #271 2829 Tara Lakes Circle, Lot #505 2804 Steamboat Loop, Lot #271 19523 Charleston Circle, Lot #7

Sold Sold Sold Sold Deceased Moved Deceased

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The The

Poolside Pub Located Inside Del Tura Golf & Country Club • Public Always Welcome $4.99 Lunch Specials Every Day 11-3 • Happy Hour Every Day 3-6 STOP IN AND GRAB A CALENDAR OF EVENTS TODAY!

MONDAY Live Music at 5:30 pm TUESDAY Prime Rib Dinner Special $12.99 (5-8 pm) • Karaoke (6 pm) WEDNESDAY Wing Night! Buy 20 Wings GET A FREE PITCHER OF BEER! THURSDAY Name That Tune & Trivia Night (6 pm) FRIDAY Live Music Every Friday Night (5 pm) All-You-Can-Eat Fish Fry All Day and Night!

SATURDAY Karaoke (6 pm) SUNDAY $3.50 Bloody Mary Specials Live Music • 1 PM • Courtyard PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY • PARTY

SUNDAYS 1 PM MON. & FRI. NIGHTS 5 PM ALL MONTH LONG!!

ALL EVENTS SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE!

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