Liberation, the Journey

Family The family constellation into which we are born offers the genetic encoding of our intended human experience. Every family has entrenched patterns of dysfunction; and our ingrained responses to these often serve to hinder us, by holding us as emotional hostages – or totally disconnecting us and rendering us begrudging of whom we share our lineage with. Crucial to the path of Liberation is creating the boundaries necessary to allow us to charge forth toward freedom, while healing our wounds of experience; and this is precisely what Liberation has shown to do within the context of family.

Last night I had a dream which really played out my core wound of rejection in a beautiful counterpoint. In the dream I was with my father and my cousin who is a plastic surgeon. My father was praising my cousin's intelligence and saying how great a surgeon he had now become. This was all said for my benefit, to point to how little I had achieved in his world, having chosen the realm of the mind and the spirit over material and intellectual achievement in the world.

I had to listen to all of this and feel less than, as usual, and herein lay the seed of initial rejection from parental approval.

Then the dream moved on to the next phase where my cousin and I went off to find somewhere to shoot arrows as a kind of neutral challenge of our skill sets as individuals and then I woke up. Now this was liberation's way of pointing out the core wound from childhood: the child that does not get love unless it performs in a certain way, and then if it chooses its own truth it gets spurned, disrespected and often even humiliated.

Now out of this came many things, but for me primarily rage. I went through the sea of rage a week ago but this uncovered the core wounding of isolation and rejection which was triggered two days ago.

As this all empties, I am left with the feeling of what to do with the memories of the unloved, rejected and humiliated child which has manifested in many forms throughout my life. The answer that comes to mind is just to feel them, to allow them to wash over one, not to react or to have them bind one into a reactive pattern.

Once we do this and refuse to be the victim of circumstances, all this feeling is allowed to swirl around inside of us and find a new channel of expression. The concept of black sheep rising or dark horse rising has come up very strongly of late and this is really what Liberation is about on many levels.

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