Wembley Issue (#14)

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#14

Parental Advisory

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When Swansea lost in the Semi Final of the FA-Cup in 1964. William vowed never to shave until Swansea won a major trophy.

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Editorial

he first time I watched the Swans was a very random affair. I had no Jacks in my family and one day a mate and I just decided to go to the Vetch and watch a game. We were very shortly hooked and the odd match turned into most matches and then season tickets. As soon as you walked up those steps into the North bank the feeling hit you, you were a part of a ‘club’ and I must admit I miss that feeling almost daily. The football was awful, managers came and went far more frequently than the brick shed of a toilet was cleaned but I loved it. An on-pitch achievement back then was a win against the likes of Northampton or Oxford and beating West Ham in the cup was a daydream. I enjoyed every second of it but I never once thought that we deserved more. That the club could be more and could play at a higher level, competing in league one, let alone the championship. I’d love the chance to talk to our ‘saving fathers’ about our progression since these days. Did Huw and the board genuinely think that where we are now was a possibility? I got asked recently ‘where can we go from here?’ and I can’t help but think that we are inevitably going to end up back where we were and that this is just a ‘crazy day-dream purple patch’. It’s hard to say where a club belongs. Looking into the championship and seeing the likes of Leeds, Sheffield Wednesday and Wolves just shows that nobody is entitled to anything. Bradford City are arguably a far bigger club than us in terms of history and fan base yet we are massive favourites to batter them. The fact is that most clubs have dark ages and most clubs have moments in their history where they over achieve. In three, five or ten years time we may still be on this crest of a wave or we may be playing in League 2. BUT no matter how bad we get in the future, whatever style of play we have, whoever is at the helm, a league cup win will be in the cabinet forever. The players win it, the manager gets credit for it, the chairman gets the money from the win but it is the lifelong fans who get to enjoy it – not only today but through those dark and miserable periods which will inevitably return……………………..one day. No pressure lads but you have a hundred years of hurt on your shoulders!!

Cheers Jack Swan

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We asked people on Facebook and Twitter the following. Can bradford beat us at wembley? Ben Davies: If Bradford can score 5 they might beat us! Scott Bish Lewis Yes! You can’t rule out anyone in a cup final it is a one off game! I went to the league cup final with 30000 other Birmingham fans thinking we would crumble against Arsenal and we went home with the cup! There is no pressure on Bradford everyone expects them to get turned over comfortably Swansea Centenary Jack on the day it will be 3-1 to swansea Robert Whiteman What it basically boils down too is a neutral ground, 11 players each, 2 halfs, one ball and 90minutes of football....so in a nutshell NOT A CHANCE!!! Vetch TheGnome I think we'll win, but its going to be a tough game. Get behind the boys for 90 minutes and we'll see them over the line Arthur Bishop If we play our normal game and dont think we have won b4 a ball is kicked we will win comfortably Andrew Howells The last time I was this positive we were going to win a game is when we played Barnsley in the play-off final , right up to when we lost on penalties !

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I still wear the scar of a knife wound inflicted during my first experience of the Swans at Wembley but I’d be quite happy for the team to be there every year. It is without doubt, the home of football, it doesn’t matter what your nationality, every player dreams of setting foot on the Wembley turf and very shortly our boys will be there and hoping to bring a major trophy home for the first time. Our trips to the millennium stadium were great, we won one and lost one but Wembley is just that little bit more special isn’t it. Assuming our first eleven will be who we expect them to be there will only be Ashley Williams, Leon Britton and Angel Rangel in the starting line up who also played in the play-off final. So for many, it will be their first Wembley experience. You can look through the squad and make a cheesy film with a fairytale ending for half of them. What planet must Ben Davies think he’s on? Surely he couldn’t have even dreamt to dream that this season would be as it has been. Much has been made about Monk and Leon and their rise through the leagues. And what about the travelling Wayne Routledge who has finally found a settled home and a full season could be capped off in style. It seems like an age ago that the route to Wembley began. It’s been almost straightforward though, not in terms of the teams we have played but with our results and performances. Barnsley in the first round gave a good account of themselves, they played similar to us last season, where they passed the ball around well but never really looked like scoring. Luke Moore on the night was outstanding although it was Graham who bagged a brace. A fairly straightforward 3-1 win. Arguably our closest time to leaving the competition came up at Crawley. At 2-1 down with a little over a quarter of an hour to play, Danny Graham scored yet again and club captain Gary Monk grabbed a late goal to put us through to the next round. We breezed passed Liverpool at Anfield, they huffed and puffed a little in the second half when Suarez and Gerrard came off the bench but the better side went through and even Fatty Rogers agreed with that. We even scored from a corner that day with Chico putting us in front. Dyer doubled the lead and although Suarez made it a slightly tense finally, De Guzman finished off a great breakaway move to cruise through 3-1. The quarterfinal draw was as we wanted; avoiding Arsenal and Chelsea and getting a home match against Middlesboro. We never really got going that day, very nervous it seemed, not really enjoying the expectation and hype around a possible semi-final. We never really looked like hitting the back of the net but thankfully one of their guys did it for us. Hines with a late own goal to send us through to the Semi-Final for the first time in our history. Waiting for us in the Semi-Final was Aston Villa, Chelsea or League 2 side Bradford who had knocked Arsenal out of the cup in the previous round. Over two legs we ended up with the draw nobody wanted and had a first leg tie with Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. It’s fair to say that they had the lion’s share of possession for the majority of the game and although stats will say that they had 40 billion shots, I never really thought like they made a clear cut chance, never hitting the woodwork and never calling Tremmell into a save which we would call out of this world. Amongst all their possession stood Ivanavic , who on two occasions kindly played the ball through to us, first on 39 minutes where after some great hassling work from De Guzman, Michu finished to make it 0-1. And then again late on, Ivanovic put Danny Graham one on one with Turnbull. Danny went round him, slipped, gave us all a little scare and then slipped the ball into the back of the net. 0-2 at Stamford Bridge. The home tie for me showed just how professional we are these days under Michael Laudrup. In the press conference before the game he spoke about how we can’t simply defend for the 90 minutes and we didn’t. We were the better team, creating the far better chances and asking more questions of their goalkeeper. There were a lot of great performances that day, Leon finished the game with a bandage over his head and was a true hero but there was only one who could capture the headlines.


THE OTHER PLACE

Charlie Morgan, the king of all ball boys, got massacred by Oscar. The son of Martin Morg was heroic though, you could barely tell that he had been hurt as he simply put on a brav face, calmed everything down and got on with his job. Oscar was sent off for his GBH yet being the brave soldier that Charlie is, he refused to press charges. (This magazine is histo it will be kept for decades, in thirty years time, when you read this, everyone would have forgotten what really happened and this will become fact.

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With ten men and ten minutes to play Chelsea offered nothing but in reality they never d Call 01792 862999 A real class performance over two legs put Swansea at Wembley once more with a 2-0

All SWANSEA CITY GAMES LIVE aggregate win.

The final, Bradford City, straightforward? Bradford got passed Villa over two legs who are surely destined to go down this year. I ha pretty good look at the second leg and the highlights of the first leg and it did show that Bradford have some real threat in the air. We have improved greatly at this, defensively ov the two legs against Chelsea we dealt with a hat full of corners and even though they hav some big guys, we dealt with them very well. As we did with Stoke, and so I would hope t should Bradford get a barrage of corners, we should be able to defend them better than Aston Villa managed to.

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We need to score, obviously. I expect us to have a-huge amount of possession; ALL DAY - MONDAY THURSDAY ONLY I hope the pitch is good because tooCarling often in the past the Wembley pitch Extra Cold £2.55 perhasn’t pintbeen. If it is cutting it will inevitably play into Bradford hands.

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Worthington £2.40 Sides have found fortune when pressing us high up the per field, pint not allowing our defence or even goal keeper to pick a pass and start off£2.40 a moveper frompint deep. In reality, will Bradford be Tetleys able to do this? I expect not and certainly not for ninetyper minutes. Coors Light £2.40 pint

I expect Bradford will soak up pressure and will look to defend deep, get numbers behind the ball and catch us with set plays, probably from anywhere in the park. It will be a new challenge for us. Sides have started to come to the Liberty and get numbers behind the b Pontardawe Festival but we are still generally a side who are underrated and so are used to a bit of space. @ The Place us too Bradford will have to get the right balance between sitting deepOther and not allowing much space to play our football because if they allow us to put our short passes together dangerous positions as well as at the back then there can only be one outcome.

The Bradford chairman quoted before our Chelsea game that a Bradford v Swansea final w be best for football. I agree completely. I probably think they had a better chance of beati Chelsea than beating Swansea though. It is going to be a really tough game plan for them and I expect we will be bringing a trophy home after our 100 year wait.

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By the way, before you start emailing in. It was 1997, Play-off final against Northampton. Listening to the game on the radio, I was buttering some bread when Northampton’s last 2nd Journey minute re-taken free-kick went in. I put my head in my hands and forgot I Men had a knife. A slight scar just next to the eye. 3rd Richey & Greg

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Charlie Morgan, the king of all ball boys, got massacred by Oscar. The son of Martin Morgan was heroic though, you could barely tell that he had been hurt as he simply put on a brave face, calmed everything down and got on with his job. Oscar was sent off for his GBH yet being the brave soldier that Charlie is, he refused to press charges. (This magazine is history, it will be kept for decades, in thirty years time, when you read this, everyone would have forgotten what really happened and this will become fact.

A new feature for the mag. Come up with your own if you can.

Three facts. only one is true:-

With ten men and ten minutes to play Chelsea offered nothing but in reality they never did. A real class performance over two legs put Swansea at Wembley once more with a 2-0 aggregate win.

in 1996, swansea had 4 managers. one of which only lasted two games and was kicked out of the dressing room at halftime of the second match by the players.

The final, Bradford City, straightforward? Bradford got passed Villa over two legs who are surely destined to go down this year. I had a pretty good look at the second leg and the highlights of the first leg and it did show that Bradford have some real threat in the air. We have improved greatly at this, defensively over the two legs against Chelsea we dealt with a hat full of corners and even though they have some big guys, we dealt with them very well. As we did with Stoke, and so I would hope that should Bradford get a barrage of corners, we should be able to defend them better than Aston Villa managed to.

in 1996 swansea set a club record low of fans travelling to away games. Over the three away fixtures in January they had a combined total of 12 fans. It later emerged that it was the same 4 fans in all 3 matches.

We need to score, obviously. I expect us to have a huge amount of possession; I hope the pitch is good because too often in the past the Wembley pitch hasn’t been. If it is cutting up it will inevitably play into Bradford hands.

In 1996. swansea signed a South American striker. the deal used the bulk of Swansea Citys overdraft. After the deal was finalised Swansea and the player got into a dispute as to how to finance the player, family and luggage getting to the UK. With neither able to afford the flight costs they agreed to each pay half the costs of a freight boat. The player, family and luggage arrived Established three1997 weeks later

Sides have found fortune when pressing us high up the field, not allowing our defence or even goal keeper to pick a pass and start off a move from deep. In reality, will Bradford be able to do this? I expect not and certainly not for ninety minutes. I expect Bradford will soak up pressure and will look to defend deep, get numbers behind the ball and catch us with set plays, probably from anywhere in the park. It will be a new challenge for us. Sides have started to come to the Liberty and get numbers behind the ball but we are still generally a side who are underrated and so are used to a bit of space. Bradford will have to get the right balance between sitting deep and not allowing us too much space to play our football because if they allow us to put our short passes together in dangerous positions as well as at the back then there can only be one outcome.

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The Bradford chairman quoted before our Chelsea game that a Bradford v Swansea final will be best for football. I agree completely. I probably think they had a better chance of beating Chelsea than beating Swansea though. It is going to be a really tough game plan for them and I expect we will be bringing a trophy home after our 100 year wait.

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t By the way, before you start emailing in. It was 1997, Play-off final against Northampton. Listening to the game on the radio, I was buttering some bread when Northampton’s last minute re-taken free-kick went in. I put my head in my hands and forgot I had a knife. A slight scar just next to the eye.

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We We asked asked folk folk on on Facebook Facebook and and 1-0 up 1-0 up against against an an inexperienced, inexperienced, young young Aston Aston Villas Villas side side who who are are playing playing away away from from home home Twitter what What have you they been today? Twitter what they up toand have conceded fifteen goals in their last three games without reply. Battered in every and have conceded fifteen goals in their last three games without reply. Battered in every Just a standard morning for me so far Jack. The maid brought me breakfast in bed about 10 O’clock, she then dressed thought part the for the first twenty minutes, Aston Villa regroup are arguably unfortuthought about about our our part of ofI then the pitch pitch first twenty minutes, Aston Villa regroup and and are me arguably me and carried me into my Audi. wentfor to the stage school where I learned that if somebody kicks in the unforturight need nate to concede a ninety forth minute equaliser. need for for aa leader. leader. nate to concede a ninety forth minute equaliser.

hand side of my body then I should hold that side of my body when insinuating pain Credit Credit to to Villa? Villa? To To an an extent extent yes, yes, the the leadership leadership shown shown on on the the field field to to get get back back into into that that game game after the run they were on was impressive. However looking closer to home, ifif we have had after the run they were on was impressive. However looking closer to home, we have had Are Howwe are missing the dramaa going? Are we missing aclassesthat leadership on that field then II don’t think they would have had aa look in. that leadership on that field then don’t think they would have had look in. I’ve spent a long time admiring Chico, he is my hero and one day I hope to be as good an actor as him. I’m growing my leader leader on on the the field? field? hair, learning Spanish and my dream is to be just like him. I’ve I’ve been been drumming drumming on on about about this this for for over over aa year year now now and and II feel feel that that itit needs needs to to be be addressed. addressed. Julian L Mallows Has your life changed much since the Chelsea game? Julian L Mallows our tempo fine!!! for Not really,is hadas offers from other clubs wanting my services as a ball boy though. To be honest Fergie is our tempo isI’ve fine!!! asnumerous for Before I go on, we’ve had great thus far and II am very content with league Before had aaoccasions great season season with our our leader..I think ash is more getting a bit tiresome I’ve toldI go himon, onwe’ve countless thatthus I onlyfardoand it foram thevery lovecontent of the game andleague it would leader..I think ash is morenow. position and our cup run. ItIt seems that II have to mention this before intending to slightly position and our cup run. seems that have to mention this before intending to than capable takethan me 17 minutes to fly to old Trafford from my Helicopter Pad and I don’t get a phone signal in the ‘chopper.slightly I hate capable criticise any minute part of our set-up as not doing so results in scathing attacks about how criticise any minute part of that thing, the Plasma flickers too. I’m just not doing it. our set-up as not doing so results in scathing attacks about how we’re still progressing, I have poor eye sight and I’m a spoilt twelve year old playing house. we’re still progressing, I have poor eye sight and I’m a spoilt twelve year old playing house. Katie Katie 'Scfc' 'Scfc' Gaule Gaule you toaaHazard since that day? IIHave dont we dont think thinkspoken we need need On many occasions this season we have dropped points which we have done. Onintoo too occasions thisthe season weHe have dropped points which we shouldn’t shouldn’t Yeah,the weboys wentcommuniout for a meal my many father’s hotel after match. ordered a rack of ribs, he started kickinghave themdone. leader, leader, the boys communiBy that II don’t mean simply that on paper we should be beating the likes of Reading home By that don’t mean simply that on paper we should be beating the likes of Reading home when they came out which was a bit strange and then ate them with a spoon. He doesn’t speak much English, cate well with each other cate well with each other and away but when you’re in a position as we were against Aston Villa, anything other andwas away but whenand you’re in a position asShe wedidn’t were against Aston Villa, anything other than than thankfully Marcia the waitress Portuguese translated for us. understand all of his swear words to see if anything is going to see if anything is going three points mild points is isitaatakes mildadisaster. disaster. though andWilliams it’s a veryis language, long time to ask one simple question. At one point he stood up, wrong. Ashley aa three wrong. Ashley Williams isstrange shouted about ten minutes while waving a knife at me and Marcia translated it to me that he was asking me ‘how great captain greatfor captain ItIt seems seems like like an an age age ago ago but but on on our our trips trips away away against against Reading Reading and and Southampton Southampton we we my food was?’ battered battered them them for for the the first first ten ten to to fifteen fifteen minutes, minutes, completely completely taking taking the the games games to to them, them, Meuryn Nelson dominating possession and looking Meuryn Nelson possession andyou? looking at at ease ease and and yet yet in in both both games, games, as as with with Villa Villa at at home home we we What did you think at the dominating moment when he kicked Williams is fine totally took foot of gas, them back into itit and in three cases were fortunate to Williams finegoing to eat totally tookaour our foottoo. of the the gas, let let andhim in all alldo three cases were fortunate to I thought heiswas me with spoon Luckily thethem tableback nextinto to us saw it and Marcia helped escort escape with aa draw. escape with draw. him out of the restaurant.

Kayrene Kayrene Griffiths Griffiths

We seem incapable of Think they doing Fab Wethe seem incapable of changing changing aa game game during during aa match match like like Aston Aston Villa Villa did did at at the the Liberty. Liberty. Think theyon doing Fab as asduring I meant the pitch, Chelsea game? Norwich battered us in the first half and looked better than us all over the park. they are, the boys gel well Norwich thelife. first half andI could looked better than us all over the park. The The same same they are, the Oh boys gelyeah. well It really Kick me?? right hurt,battered I feared us forinmy Umm…. have been killed. OUCH……. eleven and eleven players players came came out out in in the the second second half half after after aa ‘team ‘team talk’ talk’ (which (which II hoped hoped involved involved Curtis Curtis and have have fantastic fantastic kicking boots communication between boots at at them) them) and and destroyed destroyed Norwich Norwich and and were were unfortunate unfortunate not not to to get get at at least least aa communication between Were you tempted to presskicking charges? draw. Why couldn’t someone on the pitch take Before were three goals down. themselves couldn’t theas pitch take control? control? Before we wejust were three goals down. Yeah themselves I was but he’s not a richdraw. man.Why He earns in asomeone year whaton I get my daily pocket money. It didn’t seem worth it. My brief said that I’d be lucky to get a million, two at the most and lets be honest its just not worth the hassle for that. I’m I’m aa huge huge fan fan of of both both Monk Monk and and Williams. Williams. Their Their assets assets as as captain captain are are obvious. obvious. Both Both represent represent Kevin Kevin Evans Evans yeah yeah think think the club very well off the field, have aa calming influence and have experienced the the club very well off the field, have calming influence and have experienced the lower lower so and williams aint vocal Have you had any stick from the boys in training? You play for the Swansea youth team don’t you? so and williams aint vocal leagues which give more rounded feel to Obviously Monk isn’t aa first choice give aavery more rounded feel to the the club. club. Obviously first I don’t enough train very often to beleagues honest;which I’m usually busy with my hair and the acting. I onlyMonk play isn’t football tochoice keep my enough starter and so on occasions itit is the former Stockport who wears captains on most most former Stockporttoplayer player who wears the the captains dad happy. He asked me to starter play forand theso Swans and occasions at first I saidisnothe but he threatened take my Jamaican party house armband on the field. armband on the field. and private Jet away and so I turn up on match days to keep dad happy. Arthur Bishop Ashley Arthur Bishop Ashley williams williams leads leads by by example example Come match day I don’t see Williams dishing out the Roy Kean type roaring attacks at fellow Come match daythe I don’t see Williams Dothe youcommunication regret posting your tweet before Chelsea game? dishing out the Roy Kean type roaring attacks at fellow and and the communication players to the very out them and II don’t see itit from any player on the field. players to get get themany very best bestboys out of of them don’t fromknows any other other Not at all, I am the king of all ball-boys. How ball can youand name? Yet see everyone whoplayer I am. Ion amthe thefield. amongst the team is ok amongst the team is ok Michu Michu is is possibly possibly the the only only one one II see see who who constantly constantly wears wears his his heart heart on on his his sleeve sleeve during during the the king. Simples. bad bad times times and and raises raises his his and and other other peoples peoples games games around around him. him. But But it’s it’s hard hard for for him him to to do do itit Tim Rendell Yep !! from his role. Tim Rendell Yep !!too old from hisaadvanced advanced Do you thinkbrief you’re to be ball boy?role. How's that ?? In How's that for foris brief ?? Innot an easy task. Football is a professional game and you need the best in all positions. In my Experience vital; it’s definite need of January will bring its rumours of coming in departures and midfield definite need of amost a Roy Royimportant January its usual usual of players players in and and departures and centre centre midfield opinion it is the partwill of abring football club, rumours without us there is coming no ball and with no ball, football is simply Keane figure head, appears Keane figure head, appears to to be be an an area area where where we we are are pretty pretty solid solid however however ifif the the likes likes of of Leon, Leon, Ki Ki and and JDG JDG ‘foot’ . without cannot without the the murderous murderous cannot add add some some leadership leadership to to their their attributes attributes then then II wouldn’t wouldn’t be be too too disappointed disappointed ifif ML ML tackles though finds someone who has. Discuss on PlanetSwans at tackles though finds someone who has.happened. Discuss further further PlanetSwans at http://alturl.com/9xj89 http://alturl.com/9xj89 Just to make it incredibly clear, this interview never It is a on joke, hahaha. I would like to think that you worked that out for yourself but there are always one or two. Seriously though, I jumped on the bandwagon and followed Vince one Vince Hotten No Twitter one after the ‘event’ and looked through his older posts. He seems like a top bloke, a real Swans CharlieHotten Morgan No on dishes out the dishes out didn’t the bollockings bollockings fan and come across as a spoilt kid at all really. Looking back at when I was 17 there are very few things I’m proud like likeofLeon Leon not sure and Vincent, IVincent, imaginenot it issure the same for everyone. He and was andout of order, as was Hazard. I think the way it has been dealt with they afford his they could could afford City his and the Morgan family has been brilliant and shows a far better account of Charlie and the club. since by Swansea wages though! and wages though! and On the other hand, Chelsea proved once againyour that it is just a horribly ran club. Time and time again they defend the let us know let us know your (look out for Jack Swan TV (look out for Jack Swan TV can say what they think (at times), players can do more so but a club must always be bigger un-defendable. Managers thoughts on future to last one is thoughts on future to get get what what that last oneafter is the than that.that Their tweet game read:about) articles. about)

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‘Has football gone mad? Hazard is sent off for kicking the ball under a ball boy attemptin smother the ball rather than return it’.

That would not be the ‘official line’ from any decent club. I guarantee you that if roles wer reversed Swansea would release something along the lines of:‘Swansea City cannot condone any acts of violence by anybody associated with the club any player, fan, ball boy or anyone’

That would be it, it doesn’t comment on any specifics but it would go a way to drawing a under it all. Chelsea later apologised for their tweet but it just showed that they are a use club. I saw them say during the John Terry Saga that they will defend him ‘no matter wha Well that says it all.

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I think we all want to put this behind us but to be honest in my opinion it was Chelsea FC that came out of it looking the worst. Both Hazard and Morgan are young and both did something in the heat of the moment which I think they will regret. I was furious the first time I saw the Hazard kick and I imagine he has earned himself many years of abuse returning to the Liberty but you can understand why he did it, but was rightfully sent off as far as I am concerned that is that. I doubt we will see Charlie as ball boy again and he w have to live with banter like the interview above for a few months but give the boy a brea Chelsea fans’ taking out frustration on him is a joke, the fact was that when Hazard was se off, they had played us for 163 minutes plus injury times and not scored one goal. It was irrelevant.

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Both managers said the right things after the game and Huw Jenkins also said the right words one again. But what will live in my memory is quite how badly Chelsea dealt with i

Jack Swan

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We asked people on facebook and Twitter the following:

‘Has football gone mad? Hazard is sent off for kicking the ball under a ball boy attempting to smother the ball rather than return it’.

you think of him and the Hazard incident?

That would not be the ‘official line’ from any decent club. I guarantee you that if roles were reversed Swansea would release something along the lines of:-

Anthony Michael spoilt little sh*t

‘Swansea City cannot condone any acts of violence by anybody associated with the club to any player, fan, ball boy or anyone’

Sean Richards Spoilt yeah but a ledgend also!

That would be it, it doesn’t comment on any specifics but it would go a way to drawing a line under it all. Chelsea later apologised for their tweet but it just showed that they are a useless club. I saw them say during the John Terry Saga that they will defend him ‘no matter what’. Well that says it all.

Jason Scfc Griffiths what is he doing being a ball boy at 17 lad needs a life Vetch TheGnome He done what most ballboys at clubs up and down the country would've done, Hazard shouldn't have kicked out at him, he shouldn't have reacted like he did, but what if he reacted differently? What if he got up and booted Hazard back? And yeah, 17 is a bit old to be a ballboy Matt Richards I think he knew what he was doing but also Hazard was out if order to even consider kicking him. People say he won the game for Chelski but that's balls, over the two legs Swans out played them. The better team deserved to go through. And as for his privileged up bringing, any parent would love to give their child a good start in life. So he can be as spoilt as he wants. He will always be remembered for that kick. Jason Scfc Griffiths i dont care how much money his dad has got or how spoilt he is at 17 he shouldn`t b a ball boy. Chelsea wouldn`t have scored if we played them all nite it didn`t matter what charlie done but hazard should of left it 2 the ref thats what there 4

I think we all want to put this behind us but to be honest in my opinion it was Chelsea FC that came out of it looking the worst. Both Hazard and Morgan are young and both did something in the heat of the moment which I think they will regret. I was furious the first time I saw the Hazard kick and I imagine he has earned himself many years of abuse returning to the Liberty but you can understand why he did it, but was rightfully sent off and as far as I am concerned that is that. I doubt we will see Charlie as ball boy again and he will have to live with banter like the interview above for a few months but give the boy a break. Chelsea fans’ taking out frustration on him is a joke, the fact was that when Hazard was sent off, they had played us for 163 minutes plus injury times and not scored one goal. It was irrelevant. Both managers said the right things after the game and Huw Jenkins also said the right words one again. But what will live in my memory is quite how badly Chelsea dealt with it all.

Jack Swan Arthur Bishop What saddens me is the fact that the spotlight was on that incident and not on a brilliant display by our lads David Stoneman Well bit of an idiot if u ask me Danielle Evans: I would of been ashamed of him if he was my son. He behaved like an idiot but we have all done stupid things when we were younger and I don’t think he deserves all the criics he has had. Steve Smith: Lets be honest we all would have done the same thing. The players would have done it and you know for a fact that Hazad would of been rolling around for days if someone had kicked him. Good luck to him, I don’t care who is father is, he’s a Jack and good on him.


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Vet�� ��� Gn���

Some are born Jacks, some become Jacks later in life and some miss the chance, become depressed, dependant on pain killers and preach about the plight of the Bumble bee. Well I recently had the great privilege to meet someone who was both born and made a 100% pure Jack: Vetch the Gnome. You may also have met this wonderful being. After all he is very well travelled. Since 2011 he has been to Edinburgh, Turkey, Rome and reached the highest peak in Germany. He has been found amongst a bag search entering the Vatican and recognised in Bayern Munich’s ticket office. His first experience of Swansea City Football Club came away at Preston. Swansea went on to lose the game but this didn’t put him off from falling in love with the Swans. At one foot tall getting a good seat can be vital. ‘At times I have had to stand on the pitch to be able to see. One day I managed to steal a press pass from one of the photographers from the Evening Post, you know that Gypo looking one. That gets me onto some pitches without too much hassle but for most games its fine if I stand on the seat as long as the stewards aren’t playing Rambo’. Having watched Swansea in every away game last season up until the Villa match, Vetch missed the bus. ‘I was furious, they usually stop at the Cricketers, beep outside and wait for me to get on the bus, I’d had a few too many the night before and woke up in a bit of a mess with some tart next to me, it took me a little longer than usual to get outside because I wanted to finish the tart and they don’t let you eat on the bus’ (what were you thinking? Dirty mind). Swansea went on to record their first away win in the premiership that day and the white bearded man has stayed away since. ‘I just felt as though I might be bad luck’. A season ticket holder, Vetch still never misses a home game and is ready to go back on his travels for the Wembley cup final ‘I have some unfinished business up there’ referring to the play-off final where he broke his leg. It is understood that the Metropolitan Police are aware of Vetch and his possible vendetta against the steward who caused the affliction that day. He may be easily missed due to his height but the police should find it easier to spot his accomplices, 52 dressed up as gnomes that day. With over 1,500 followers on facebook, Vetch is admired the world over and sympathy raced in when he, after recovering from his broken leg, lost his grass at Old Trafford. ‘it was a hard time, I am now completely hollow which is difficult but it does make passing through customs less scary, I’ve had frequent nightmares about being ruthlessly searched, especially on my trip back from Turkey but it is now easier for the highly skilled staff to see that I carry little’. People come in droves to meet Vetch and his growing army of friends at the Cricketers. The pub now boasts a gnome from every premier league club apart from Wigan, who believe it or not, do not produce a club gnome. With so much achieved in such little time it is hard to know what the future will bring for Vetch the Gnome. One thing is for sure, with his Swansea Shirt and hat, he will live and die a Jack.

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Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on E-Bay

I put an offer in on a Mickey Mouse outfit and now it seems I'm only 15 minutes away from owning Aston Villa..... Sorry chaps - I am afraid you are not going to see me for a while..... The police are investigating me after a large number of Swimming Pool Inflatables went missing - I need to LiLo Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years Riots.... Your One Year Manufacturers Warranty Runs Out Soon I bought a second hand car from Bonnie Tyler - Its drives ok but every now and then it falls apart..... Just had a clear out of my loft and found a 1976 copy of the radio times, or as its called now the sex offenders register. 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 5 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. 6 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 7 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 8 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. Tesco beef burgers have horse meat in them. Next they'll be telling me there's uniQuorn in the veggie sausages. Tesco Horsemeat Burgers? What next - My Lidl Pony? Horse meat found in tesco , camel toe found in primark leggings . If anyone is shocked at the news about tesco burgers, you should try their meatballs. They're the dogs bollocks! traces of lion found in Lionbars....where will it end? I think someone may be sending me death threats. Woke up this morning with a Tesco burger on my pillow. Was in Tesco cafe earlier and the waitress asked if i wanted anything on my burger ... I said "yes please, can i have a fiver each way!" Just checked the date on my Tesco burgers .......and they're off!! Eat them with bread ann they’ll be ok, just make sure its thoroughbred. They low in fat, high in shergar. Tescos are selling off their burgers hoof price now, they won't be that price furlong. my friend was rushed to hospital after eating one of those horse meat burgers. Luckily, he's in a 'stable' condition ! Went to check the label on the burgers in Tesco this morning and you can imagine my surprise when it said "best before Beeches Brook"..... .Is it a coincidence that 'HAMBURGERS' is an anagram of 'SHERGAR BUM' Latest news: Traces of zebras found in Tesco barcodes. One thing about these horse puns; its put an end to all the Jimmy Saddle jokes A spokesman for Tesco has stated; 'We have been using the same meat supplier for Donkeys years'


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Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world."

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The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. 2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. 3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. 4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. 5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. 6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. 7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. 8. In the UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

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My mate decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his boots for his Saturday game. His wife was standing at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit playing so much football and watching the Swans. Maybe you should sell your boots and cancel your season ticket to the Swans. My mate gets this horrified look on his face. She says, "Darling, what's wrong?" ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.” "Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!" ”I wasn't “

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Q:Whats the difference between Lady Godiva and searching for a lost golf ball? A:The latter is a hunt on a course. Too intelligent for Cardiff fans "That's not a neutrino in my pocket, I've got a hadron." Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?

A: ToH, get toAlltwen the same side! Ind. Est. Lon Hir, Unit Pontardawe, Swansea SA8 3DE situations.......... Just imagine, for a moment, if there were no hypothetical why did the architect have his housemaid backwards?

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M��� Fr�� S��n��

WORLD SURVEY BY PHONE.

Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world." The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. 2. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. 3. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. 4. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. 5. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. 6. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. 7. In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. 8. In the UK they hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.

Is this the guy who came up with the ticketing system for Wembley?

My mate decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his boots for his Saturday game. His wife was standing at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit playing so much football and watching the Swans. Maybe you should sell your boots and cancel your season ticket to the Swans. My mate gets this horrified look on his face. She says, "Darling, what's wrong?" ”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.” "Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!" ”I wasn't “ Q:Whats the difference between Lady Godiva and searching for a lost golf ball? A:The latter is a hunt on a course. Too intelligent for Cardiff fans "That's not a neutrino in my pocket, I've got a hadron." Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? A: To get to the same side! Just imagine, for a moment, if there were no hypothetical situations.......... why did the architect have his housemaid backwards? What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything." Young people have theirs, now Seniors have their own texting codes: * ATD- At the Doctor's * BFF - Best Friends Funeral * BTW- Bring the Wheelchair * CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center * FWIW - Forgot Where I Was * GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low * GHA - Got Heartburn Again * HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement * LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out * WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

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We asked people on Facebook and Twitter the following: What do you think of JDG? sign him? how much would you pay? Chris Stevens Been a better player than Joe Allen this season and scored more goals and likes to put a foot in. Joe worth 15 mill because of his age I'm assuming so JDG must be ad least 7-9 mill. I think we will get him cheaper, he would be mad to go anywhere else!

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Going back a few years and another exciting season (it turned out awful) I remember seeing us in the early days of the 2000/01 season. We had just got promoted to the dizzy heights of Division 2 and signed a couple of foreigners which was exciting in its self back then. The two signings were David Romo and Giovanni Savarese. The latter got all the attention and went on to score 11 goals in his 31 games in a relegated side and a move up the leagues to Millwall. But while everyone was getting excited about the Venezuelan, I thought that David Romo was the real class player. His vision, passing ability and relaxed approach was sublime and showed to me how he had represented France at the Olympics.

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Romo: who went on to open numerous chip shops in Gorseinon (that’s not true, that was David Roma, completely different player). We had many heroics on our trip to Stamford Bridge in the league cup and although Leon and Michu grabbed a lot of the coverage I thought the Dutch-Canadian with a Jamaican mother and Philippine roots was outstanding. His pace in the midfield is that of a player like Ramires at Chelsea, never giving a player a moments rest and it was this tenacity which allowed our best player on the night (Ivanivic) to release Michu for the first goal.

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His delivery from corners and free kicks is as good as anyone’s and it seemed only a matter Leigh Thomas Very We released him on a free a year later after he of time before one flew into the top corner as it rarely left out by only managed to get 4 appearances in our then eventually did against Stoke. His second goal Laudrup, a vital part of woeful side and his career has pretty much died that game was a fantastic team goal but his our success this season, since then. Just shows that I know bugger all finish was real quality. His 6 goals this season we must buy him. and generally see things that others don’t, as I have been valuable and coming from both the did in the early games this year. advanced midfield role and deep lying Emyr Evans Very good alongside Leon. player. We should have Michu managed 4 goals in his first 3 games and signedEstablished him permanently again when everyone was getting excited I would like to think that signing him perma1997 in January. about him, I saw someone else who was getting nently is a fore-gone conclusion but with each my attention, Jonathan De Guzman. game and goal, and with more clubs paying Steve Thomas Needs to attention to the whole club, it seems plausible be signed up quick, by The signing of JDG enthralled many of us fans that other clubs will be paying an interest and the ene of the season of Championship manager of old. I used to looking to move in on the player. this guy is going to be bend over backwards to sign him as a young hunted by the big boys, winger while he was at Feyenoord. His stats Without a January signing and with Grahams the swans are a better then were the perfect winger. Fast, skillful and departure, it looks very likely that JDG will be team when he is in the with a great delivery and it now seems strange playing the advanced midfield role for most of squad. to think when watching him in his central role the season, with Michu in the number 9 shirt. that he was Man City’s preferred choice when We are all a bit concerned about our lack of a James Bellamy Good they re-signed Shaun Wright-Phillips a few true centre forward but I think if De Guzman player and 6-8 million years back. can continue to chip in with the goals from midfield he will prove to be every bit as Jonathan Moran Have He still seems to split opinion but I like to think I important a player as any other. Established 1997 to agree with james 6-8 didn’t get it quite as wrong as I did with David

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Sw�n�e� t� ������ sta��� � Ru�� Mado� �ut�i�� L����� Sta����. Swansea City are to unveil a statue of actress and singer Ruth Madoc outside the Liberty Stadium next month, the club's chairman Huw Jenkins has announced. Mr Jenkins said the statue, which will be unveiled on April 31st, would honour the friendship he shares with the iconic performer. A statement on Swansea’s official website confirmed the news on Wednesday. The statue, commissioned by Jenkins following the release of the Hi-de-Hi complete collection 13 dvd box set, had been due to be erected outside swansea's old woolworths store. However, following the sale of the oxford street store it was decided that swansea's home ground Liberty Stadium was a ‘natural alternative for the tribute’. Commenting on the statue Mr Jenkins said: ‘Ruth Madoc is truly a legend, a term used too often in this modern world saturated in the hyperbole surrounding celebrity. ‘She is my friend, a woman with whom I share many happy memories and who lives a inspiring and camp life. She has a legacy of Hi-de-Hi appearances so vast it takes one’s breath away; from a precocious talent to an ingenuity and ground breaking modernity that shall never be repeated. It shall often be imitated, but it will never be replicated, Ruth Madoc is, and shall always remain, one of a kind. ‘I hope that many fans of her will visit the statue at the Liberty from far and wide, and that Swansea fans will appreciate seeing the finest performer in the world, in and amongst them, the finest fans in the world.’ Manchester United captain Rio Ferdinand took to Twitter on Wednesday evening to react to the news about the statue, posting: 'Ruth Madoc statue outside Swansea FC? I'm a huge Hi-de-Hi fan but why?! Surely there's a long list of players who deserve a statue b4 The Ruthster' The statue, depicting Madoc in one of her most iconic poses, will be situated outside the club shop. *Ruth Madoc visited the vetch field once to draw the half time flyer (an away fan won)

By: Ice Jack

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Swansea Season Ticket Holder for Over 20 Years

NEWS FROM THE GEORGE SPRING 2013

As we enter our third year of trading, having just celebrated our 2nd anniversary here at The George, we were delighted to receive an impromptu visit from the Food Standards Agency and received our 2nd 5 Star Food Hygiene Rating in two years. This 2nd award is testament to the dedication and professionalism of all the staff here at The George and highlights our continuing commitment to excellence and consistently high standards. Customers are asking a lot about the whole process of inspection recently, partly due to the success of the TV series ‘The Food Inspectors’. Of course, we’re always happy to discuss our top marks! The George is very much a family concern, and only a few weeks ago we managed to make time to get married! Mr & Mrs Megson are rightfully proud of the work that the whole family puts in to making the restaurant so successful. Particularly so on Sundays, when you’re likely to see daughters Bianca, Hannah and Kelsey all having hands on deck to help out, and even baby Calla is often known to put in an appearance! Ready for the arrival of Spring this year we have our new, completely refurbished al fresco dining area, with state-of-the-art facilities including electric heating and full canopies to ensure that the weather doesn’t dampen your experience. Why not pop in for one of our ‘Springtime Afternoon Teas’ and enjoy a teatime treat with our superb range of home made cakes. On the sports front, we are proud to see that our 2 darts teams in the Tawe Tuesday League have fully embraced the competition - that is to say one team is at the top of the table, the other at the bottom! It can be safely said that our teams are enjoying a ‘mixed season’. Darts nights are proving popular and fun, complemented of course by our great food and beers. All in all we’ve had a very successful first two years here. While a lot of hard work has been undertaken, we have now completed all of our planned refurbishing for the foreseeable future. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of the staff, family, friends and, of course, you the customers for your part in helping us build a top quality restaurant and become a part of the local community. Rob & Jayne




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Sh l st Can you help? We are looking for the sheet music for ‘Swansea City Song’ by Roger Evans with Paul Morgan on guitar. Ifg ? you are able to help Sh l please email jack-swan@live.co.uk

Our Great Dane has spoken about wanting competition for places and having 2 players TO LAST forON every position. I expect in ISSUE’s reality we will want 3 goal keepers and 3 strikers and then 2 PHOTO COMPETITION Inper 1st place was.................. NOBODY, not one person entered. posoition.

Spense has begged me for months to put this feature in and yet when no money was on offer - not even he entered..

This is how I see us in each position and I

ANYWAY....

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RIchie Brown and his team Skycat the for fantasy league second eleven which wouldwon push competition in January. I’ve forgotten all about it until now. I promotion in the championship. did promise a T-Shirt. One day, I promise :)

Am I wrong or right?

BYE BYE DANNY

I’m a bit gutted that Graham has left, not only for football Discuss these ratings at reasons but I had only just found out that he was a big fan of http://alturl.com/vbap2 the magazine. Requesting it in his local shop. Best of luck to you, Did a good solid job for us and helped establish ourselves in the Premiership. Will send a copy up north for you :)

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THE UNION INN All Swans Games LIVE Davies 7.5/10 He’s been brilliant and keeps getting better, starting to overlap his winger with

Great Food Vorm 7/10 Not the superhero that he was this time last year but still a top keeper.

Williams 7/10 Getting back to his very best after a slow start and a few very sloppy back passes.

Britton 7.5/10 Mr consistent and very noticeably missed when not in the team. The best player to ever wear the shirt.

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Routledge 7.5/10 In the form of his life, scoring and creating goals and looking dangerous and making something happen in almost every game.

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Michu 9/10 Arguably the best player in the league thus far. Scores goals, brings players into the game and a real handful.

Cafe Open Thur, Fri, Sat 9am-2pm Really Friendly Pub Chico 7.5/10 A foolish early red card got us a bit worried but he’s looking the business at the moment.

Ki 6.5/10 He’s had a tough time of late and seems very sloppy at times. Has real quality and the ability to be a real talent.

Just 2 miles from stadium Rangel 7.5/10 Had a couple of poor games after I claimed he was the best right back in the league but has been brilliant.

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again. Took him a few games after no real pre-season but if he is a real quality player.

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Ra�� t� Pl���� � ��� Ye��

Michu Worried that he had a bit of Samson about him as he seemed a bit less formidable after his chop, a couple of misses which were finding the net with the longer hair. He put that to right with a brace against QPR. Even in his baron spell he still contributed all over the park and was a constant real threat. Questions are being asked as to whether he is the greatest signing in premiership history. Very early to say that but certainly a snip at £2.2 million. Hard to say anything that hasn’t been written many times before but at this moment he is cruising to player of the year. Ben Davies What inspiration he must be to the youth team, not just to the 17, 18 year olds who have probably played with him but also the eight and nine year olds in the early stages of the club. He’s been fantastic from word go, a great goal against Stoke was well deserved and I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets another one before the end of the season. He keeps looking at free-kicks with an eagle eye. JDG certainly has the ‘right footed’ free-kicks sorted, I’m looking forward to getting a glimpse of Ben having a crack when it needs a left foot. He certainly wants a go. Wayne Routledge I felt a bit guilty after putting Pablo in the top three last month. Both Pablo and Wayne on their day are unbelievable but I think it’s fair to say that Wayne has had his day on more occasions than the Spaniard thus far and deserves to be piping him in this race. Chuffed to see him sign a contract extension although it seemed an obvious decision from both parties. He looks dangerous both out wide and through the middle. Looks like he’s loving his football at the moment. Dare I mention an England call up? Special Mention Chio & Ash. It is fair to say that they both struggled early on. Williams with a few poor back passes and Chco with a ridiculous red card and a couple of, shall I say moments of ‘defending from the continent’. But both have been absolutely outstanding of late, fingers crossed, Chico will be fine for the cup final as he deserves his day out in Wembley. I don’t think there is a better centre half pairing in the league on current form.

What Others thought on Facebook Julian L Mallows: Michu - Ash - Ben Meuryn Nelson: Ash - Michu - Chico Tim Rendell: Michu - Britton - Tremmel Steve Thomas: Michu - Ash - Ben John Taylor : Van Persie - Suarez - Sean Dean Richards: Michu - De Guzman - Williams Alan Godrich: Michu - De Guzman - Routledge


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B��n� ba�� ��� �et�� ��l� pas�� Why aren’t Lewis’s Pies supplying the pies and pasties for the Liberty Stadium? The Vetch had far better pies and pasties than the Liberty. The current ones are usually empty, too much pastry and overpriced. Its bad for us home fans but it’s a tragedy when you go away and have a bad pie. It stays in the memory. Lets ensure that we have the best possible pies for both home and away fans and while we are at it, how about some local real ale? Brighton have done this with their new stadium and it is time we caught on. We asked people on Facebook & Twitter the following:Do you remember the Vetch pasties and pies? Is it me or were they MUCH better than at the Liberty? Time we brought them back? Richard OConnor Vetch had better pies and pasties than the liberty. Mathew Phillips better beer aswell Rachael Davies I used to be one of the girls selling them lewises pasties n pies, used to love dunking the pasties into cups of bovril Darren Rees The lewis pasties were lovely much beta than the liberty.and the bovril was nice, Plus the people serving would be jacks and u cud understand them,and nt foreign who dnt undestand u Alex Collins The pasties down the Vetch were superb, lukewarm on the outside, nuclear on the inside. Happy days! Scott SCFC O’Sullivan The food down the Vetch years ago was far better than what it is now, the food down the Liberty is barely luke warm when you buy it and it costs a fortune!!!

Wha� ��� f�n� ����� �b�u� ea�� ���� We asked Bradford City fans what they think of the Swans and how you think game will go? Brian Allinson We've got our Fairytale of being a League two side getting to the final. You also have a fairytale of getting to your first major final. Both clubs deserve to be there. The atmosphire at Wembley will be heard all all across the World. The game should be a cracker Swansea City play some lovely football and the Bantams like to play the passing game too. We are obvioiusly the underdogs and will have to compete for every ball, tackle and play above ourselves. In a one of game anything is possible. Hopefully Michu will have an off day and Duke will be in fine form again. Both sets off fans enjoy the occasion, win lose or draw.

What do you think of Bradford City? Would you rather lose to them or a Chelsea or United who get there every year? Steve Thomas I'd rather united beats or Chelsea, if we do lose to Bradford I don't think we will, not disrespecting Bradford because they have played well ,,, we won't hear the last of it off them ting tongs up the road. 1927 bla bla bla

Tim Rendell You'd kind of expect to lose to united or Chelsea but you've beaten Chelsea and drew with united so there's no team in any of the leagues you need worry your little cotton socks about !!

Naeem Majid the chairman deserves credit your playing some of the best football in the premireship. Your squads not cost 100's of Vetch TheGnome I'm surprisingly relaxed about millions you have a fantastic manager who is starting his managerial this match, compared to Hull, or the Reading game career. You seen too have a team which is very together. To beat you i there's not as much at stake. Regardless of the fact think we need to play a long ball game and hopefully get some dead that we are going to win, I would rather we lose to ball situations. We need to play what I call ‘ugly football’. You are Bradford than the usual suspects...But we won't. going to be really up for the game not like Arsenal or Chelsea against you. But you are in a strange territory, you are the favourites, you Mark Brownie Davies i think bradford have done have to come to us.... if we can soak up the pressure and hit you on well 2 get where they r but i cant c swansea losing 2 the break down the flanks we may be rewarded. We can not stand toe them i think the way they keep the ball and pass it to toe with you. We have to play the game similar to what and how around the pitch swansea wil put 3 or 4 goals Chelsea played against Barcelona. Just my thoughts. passed them i would rather lose 2 chelsea or united I would rather see Bradford win the cup than it be a consolation prize for Chelsea or Man United. I obviously hope and expect that we will do it but if we were to lose in the final its it nice to know that we will lose a team who will cherish the cup and whoever wins it, it is very fair to say will have deserved it. Especially both sets of fans who have been through their fair share of hard times. I hope that the losing fans stay afterwards to celebrate their own achievement in getting there and to see whoever wins it lift the trophy. Jack Swan


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We asked people on Twitter and Facebook the following: Ever eaten in the Abercrave Inn? What did you think? Dan Creaser Brilliant place, great food and service, been a few times!

Ja�� Sw�� l��e� F�o� A��r�r��� I��

I’m greedy, I love Swansea City but I want to share with you some of my other loves, such as food. We are starting a proper, Jack Swan style, food review. An undercover, secret mission to go out and try some of the deals locally. No holding back, when required I will crucify a meal and when warranted I will give credit where it is due.

Samantha Arwel Battenbough Fab Place!!!

Our first port of call was the Abercrave Inn. I saw an advert in the excellent Community Mag in Pontardawe for a 3 course meal and bed and breakfast for two people, for £70. Hoping to gain some Wembley brownie points with the missus, we head up there (undercover) with excitement.

James Douglas Exquisite tasting food. Exemplary service and phenomenal atmosphere. A truly life changing experience.

I was very happy to see that the deal allowed basically the whole menu, a few of the steaks needed an extra £5 on top but I never understand why you would go somewhere with a really good food reputation and order steak. We can all cook a steak and Ponty butchers do better steaks than anywhere so I was never going to opt for that anyway.

Leigh White far feed far price Tim Rendell Had Sunday lunch there just before Christmas !! Very tasty but bit shy on the veg and bit of a slow response to the claim of a little more veg please Rhiannon Lewis My fav place to eat but can't go a lot as expensive Alun Krem-Szczesniak Go there quite often and have done for years. Always have a family Christmas meal there. Although they've changed chef's a few times foods always been good and service has always been exemplary. Danielle Evans: Bloody lush it was. Can’t wait to go again. I’m hungry just thinking about it. I wish it was next door or offered free delivery and was a llittle cheaper.

Where should we go to review next? v add us on facebook and give us a suggestion.

I went for a Chorizo Pate starter while the wife went for Brie Wedges (as she does every time we eat out and even now when she’s pregnant, it is banned for a woman in your condition – bad mother). I love Chorizo and I love Pate and so it went down well with me. It could have done with more toast though, I never get why you would give huge chunks of pate which obviously costs a few quid and then skimp on pieces of toast, but anyway, I was happy, very happy in fairness. Top starter and my wife, as ever, enjoyed the Brie Wedges. For the main course, I went for Jerk Chicken while wifey chose a cod dish. I've never had Jerk chicken before. I like spicy food and I like chicken and it turns out that I like Spicy Jerk Chicken. It was really good; although I can’t compare it to any other Jerk chicken, it could be a really bad jerk chicken but Jerk Chicken happens to be my new favourite food? I’ll have to inform you of when I eat a second Jerk chicken on how it compares. The veg was outstanding, not your usual just peas and carrots but a great selection of perfectly cooked veg, little sweet corn thingy’s, French beans, asparagus and red cabbage. I think red cabbage should be with every meal, especially when cooked like this. Plenty of it as well, I was now grateful that they skimped on the toast, especially when pregnant wife flagged with a bit of her cod remaining and I was called into overtime. I’m not much of a fish person but it was real quality. Big ticks all over here. And then onto desserts. I’ve been a bit embarrassed to ask this question, but I’ll ask it now, where I’m undercover. You know when the waitress comes round and shows you the options on a plate, are they the actual deserts you eat? Send your answers on a post card. But that’s what happened anyway and at this point I’m really full but you must understand that the chocolate chip cookie cheesecake danced and said ‘eat me Jack’ and it would have been rude not to (the cheesecake clearly saw through my disguise). So I did, and I’m very glad that it did dance because it was amazing, absolutely brilliant. I don’t understand though why I had raspberry sauce on my plate, why? I didn’t ask for it, I wanted Ice Cream, which I had and was very nice too but this raspberry sauce was just in the way, it looked nice yes but no need, get rid of it next time. The raspberry sauce was also on my wifes dessert plate but she seemed to think it was meant to be there and worked well but then she’s pregnant and pregnant women eat coal, so I wouldn’t really pay too much attention to her. I didn’t. So little so in fact that I can’t remember what she had with her raspberry sauce but she liked it. During our desserts the place was sent into darkness. Within minutes every table had its own candle and with the candle light burning bright, singing came from the bar, it was magical. It wasn’t magical, it was a power-cut but the whole place was very quick to respond, no panic and credit to them all in how they dealt with it.


We declined a coffee knowing that we have tea making facilities in the room and so with an emergency electrician trying to sort the electrics, we descend to our room which was outside and then up the stairs. Carefully carrying a lit candle, wind hurling, slightly raining and hoping it doesn't blow out, we just get to the room in time for when the lights come back on. The room was brilliant, 4 star I think, very fancy, huge bed, shower room, bathroom and little shower gels and things which lets face it, we all love, and really love to pinch. They know we do it, they know that we can’t of possibly used 8 little shower gels and 4 shampoos in the night we spent there. Especially when our ‘undercover’ on this occasion was disguised as the Mitchell brothers. Wake up next day and head down for breaky and I have another dilemma. When it says on the breakfast menu, cereal, Smoked Kippers, Poached Eggs on toast or Full Breakfast. Is it all, either/or? Because I wanted Crunchy nut and a Full Breakfast. We edge down to breakfast with this in mind, orange juice on offer, yes please. A jug of coffee for myself, enough for 2 and a half mugs and good coffee too. Wife has a jug of tea (I think their called ‘pots’ but we’ll stick with jugs). And then the awkward moment, the waitress comes over and thankfully this is the question …….. ‘Would you like some cereal before your breakfast?’ the relief was unbelievable, ‘yes, yes I do’, I will have some crunchy nut and then a full breakfast please. Wife says ‘I’ll just have a poached egg on toast please’ and I thought how selfish can you get? I’d of had another bowl of crunchy nut quite happily. Breaky was brilliant and as I had now come to expect to be honest. It was nice having a full breakfast knowing that it wasn't just the cheapest bits of sausage on the market. It was really good. Overall I was very happy and I won’t be crucifying this place at all. The food was outstanding, service was brilliant and the whole evening and morning was thoroughly enjoyable. It came to £88 with drinks which I think is a great deal, we left feeling as though we had had a get-away, refreshed from a nice break. Tips: Although brilliant, it wasn't perfect, I’d say a 9 out of 10 overall and I like to see myself as a Craig Revel Horwood, I don’t just dish out easy marks (I love strictly come dancing, I wonder if I will get away with a strictly come dancing section in here when its on next….I think not).. To make this a perfect ten, next time, I don’t want raspberry sauce on my plate, if you insist on using it, put it in a jug or a bottle on the table – I wont be using it though and secondly, and this is a very important point. As a real ale drinker, it was very pleasing to see a selection of two ales. But be more adventurous with your two ales. To put it in food terms it was the option of fish and chips or haddock and chips. Double Dragon and Rev James are safe pints and a bit boring after a while. I want an exciting guest ale next time I’m up there, an Oh Boy or a Sunbeam and then you will have the perfect experience. Basically, if you don’t drink ale or love either double dragon or Rev James and you like raspberry sauce, this place is perfect. If not, it’s only 9 out of 10 but very worth a visit.


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Sw�n�e� Ci�� W������

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Founded in 1912 as Swansea Town I was there against Hull, when we nearly went down A hatrick from James Thomas to win 4-2 Back in the day, when Cardiff wore blue We left behind theVetch field, our famous ground The Swans had been bought, for just one pound Huw Jenkins led us to the Liberty The new home for Swansea City We changed our style and passed the ball It didn’t matter Leon Britton was 5 foot tall. Brendan took us to the play off final where we won 4-2 I drank so much beer, and I bet you did too, A Scotty Sinclair hatrick took us to the holiest of grails It’s obvious to me, there’s only one team in Wales The first and only Welsh team to grace the premier league Then in came one of the greatest players of all time We went from pass masters, to simply….sublime The man to thank , is Michael Laudrup Leading us to the final of the Capitol One Cup When on the 24 th of February We ll follow our team to Wembley. Pre match we ll have Kevin Johns Your only here to watch the Swans, Hymns & Arias will be sung so loud The team, will make the Jack Army proud The ref will toss a coin, heads or tails? We’ve got Ashley Williams…he’s captain of Wales. The swans, the swans will tear you apart again. We’ve got players, that have played for Spain, Pablo Hernandez, Chico , Chico, Chico Chico Flores And Angel Rangel, he feeds the homeless. Singing along to the beat of that drum, Are you watching Cardiff scum. Bradford will come at us, we ll need to grit our teeth We’ve got Ben Davies, a local lad from Neath, Standing on the North Bank, way down by the sea We are internationally famous, thanks to Ki . We ll sing, drink beer and have lots of fun Singing the names of Routledge and Jonathon De Guzman. On the right, we’ve got Nathan Dyer The Swans are on form, and the team is on fire I am predicting another 4-2 A hatrick from our hero, we love Michu We ll bring the trophy home and have an open top bus parade Joey Allen & Scott Sinclair wishing they had stayed Swansea til I die…. The way they are playing makes me happy to be alive Looking forward to the Europa League, Thursday night, Channel 5 So Take my hand, take my whole life too, For I can’t help, falling in love with you.

We have all been on a night out in a group and one has been turned away: no trainers, no inflatable sheep or the dreaded ‘you’re too drunk to get in here’. In these instances, when one is turned down, we all get turned away.

Steve Tanner (west stand season ticket holder )

I was really disappointed in the club that we continued to Dubai without Shekter. It seemed it was all last minute and so you could possibly excuse the fact we went through initially but it is far from a good start to a ‘team bonding’ session. Would we have sent Michu to a different country to train on his own? Not a chance and I feel rather disappointed that we didn’t show Shekter the respect he deserves as a part of our team. On loan he maybe, pretty poor quality he seems but while a Jack he should be treated the same as everyone else and you don’t leave a man on his own. It was quite embarrassing that nobody had thought of the possible issue before entering the U.A.E but I’m not too impressed with our decision to go on without him. At least though, it gives a chance to write something negative about the club, I’m a bit bored of writing about how wonderfully amazing we are in every way.

What others thought

ANDREW HOWELLS: One thing I would say is that if Swansea had pulled out there would have been a major storm with the Arab nation taking it as support of Israel and not support of the team mate. MARY SCFC CHERRINGTON: Yeah they only found out last minute and so they would lose some money (flights etc) but lets face it, money is not a big issue. Why go to a place that turns your friend, team mate away.



�A�K ���N Mu�i� Sec�i�� I ����� I �i�

I� ’� � ����� �i� C�i���� �n� ��� eg� Swansea’s music scene is crying out for some decent media coverage. There are some outstanding acts playing every night of the week in and around the city and I want this section to tell you when and where they are and to also look at the local bands, review songs/albums and get some interviews with them. Jack Swan magazine already gets to the very places that a good music magazine would want to get to and so it seems like the obvious place to have a really comprehensive music section.

FR�E ��G ���DE

Email us your up and coming gigs for April (by March 10th) and we will put them into the gig guide for FREE. Email jack-swan@live.co.uk

FR�E ���D ��S����S

The amount of times I have been in a pub and a landlord or landlady has asked ‘anyone got a number for (Some band)?’ Here we will offer a very basic, name of band and phone number listing and will mean that the huge amount of pubs and venues which get JackSwan will have band details at hand (the ones that bother to contact us anyway). Email jack-swan@live.co.uk or text 07974 055529 This whole section is in a chicken and an egg scenario. As bands and venues please get in touch, as without your information there can be no comprehensive section and this will only be truly brilliant if it is very comprehensive.


DATE 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 3 3 4 6 7 8 8 8 8 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 10 10 10 10 13 14 14 15 15 15 16 16 16 16 16 16 17 17 17 17 18

M�r�� Gig�

WHERE Pontardawe Art Centre 8pm The Other Place Pontardawe Inn Gough Con Club 9.30pm Crynant RFC 9.15pm Other Place Pontardawe Pontardawe Art Centre 7:30pm Castle Pontardawe Colliers Skewen The Other Pace Gough Con Club 5:00pm Pontardawe Inn Pontardawe Art Centre 7:30pm Pontardawe Inn 9pm Manselton Hotel, Manselton 9pm – Prince of Wales, Porthcawl Pontardawe Art Centre 7:30pm Colliers Skewen Castle Pontardawe The Other Pace Glandrhyd Con Club Pontardawe Inn 9pm Gough Con Club 9:30 – Adam & Eve, Swansea 5pm Colliers Skewen Castle Pontardawe 6pm – The Strand, Swansea 6pm The Other Place Gough Con Club 5:00pm Pontardawe Art Centre 8:00pm Pontardawe Inn 9pm Pontardawe Art Centre 7:30pm Pontardawe Art Centre 8:00pm – Poet’s Corner, Swansea Colliers Skewen Castle Pontardawe Gough Con Club 9:30 The Other Place Pontardawe Inn 9pm – St. George, Swansea Colliers Skewen Castle Pontardawe 6pm Gough Con Club 5:00 The Other Pace Pink Geranium 6pm Pontardawe Inn 9pm

WHEN Lloyd Langford Journey Men Acoustic Night with Christian Grace and Guests Sybling Rivalry PAPA PHOENIX Journeymen Dennis Loccoriere RUBIX Down and Dirty Richey & Greg The Fevers Sing-along with Ian Griffin Theatr Genedlaethol Dyled Eileen Gypsy Jazz Jam Session PAPA PHOENIX Journeymen Jon Boden and The Remnant Kings Mr Fishy SUMMERHOUSE Lost Boys Julie Jewel Faded Glory Richard Morgan Journeymen The Fleas SUMMERHOUSE KANTELEW, Drew Martin Sunshine Cab Co Punchline Comedy Night Gypsy Jazz Jam Session The Three Snake Leaves The Worried Men Journeymen Little Big Band THE KRAYS Gemma Rose Papa Sanchez Manhattan Project KANTELEW Punchline PANIC STATION The Krays Roo Kangers Journeymen Sing-along with Ian Griffin

CLASSIC ROCK AT ITS VERY BEST “...one of Wales's most talented covers bands with two blistering sets of power, peerless musicianship and raw blues...” The District Club, Pontypridd

“...Don’t miss them.” Dan Parry, South Wales Evening Post

www.journeymen-online.co.uk For Booking Enquires Ring 07963 937930 or 07961 937238


21 21 22 22 22 22 23 23 23 23 23 23 24 24 24 24 24 28 29 30 30 30 30 31 31 31 31 31 30

Pontardawe Inn 9pm Pontardawe Art Centre 7:30pm Pontardawe Art Centre 8:00pm Pontardawe Art Centre 8:00pm The Mill, Swansea 9pm Colliers, Skewen Castle Pontardawe The Other Pace The wig & Pen.Swansea Gough Con Club 9.30pm – The Masons, Waunarlwydd Colliers Skewen Castle Pontardawe 6pm The Other Place Pontardawe Art Centre 7:00pm Gough Con Club 5:00 – The Strand, 6pm Pontardawe Inn 9pm – Green Lady, Caerphilly – The Singleton, Swansea The Other Place The Big Cam- Neath. Gough Con Club 9:30 Castle Pontardawe 6pm Gough Con Club 5:00 The Other Pace Glandrhyd Con Club Pontardawe Inn 9pm Castle Pontardawe

18

Pontardawe Inn 9pm

Gypsy Jazz Jam Session Mabon Speakeasy Cabaret The Yirdbards live music PAPA PHOENIX Journeymen LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN Expecting Company SIDE EFFECTS Mr Jack Daniels Journeymen Taffys Apple THE KICKS Jab Harry’s Fund Bad Things Journeymen Gypsy Jazz Jam Session KANTELEW Journeymen Ursine Princes SIDE EFFECTS The Roo Kanga's MOJOMATIC Rock Bottom Saw it on a Tee Shirt Mark Douglas This River FORMULA

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Sing-along with Ian Griffin

Tommy Womack is a very well respected songwriter and novelist, his book detailing life on the road with former band "Government Cheese" was something of a cult success. His songs are warm, funny and document the human condition with a wry and keen sense of the absurdity of life. He will be supported by Irish singer/songwriter Ben Reel. 28th of February Annabelle Chvostek was a member of Juno nominated Wailing Jenny's (the Junos are to Canada as the Grammys are to the USA). She is a fine musician and songwriter currently touring to promote her latest solo album of protest songs for a new era of activism. Support will be from local songstress Scotty who in my (and many others) opinion is worth the cover charge in her own right. Her songs are heartbreaking and universally accessible. The between song banter can be hilarious, providing some light in the shade. 14th of March After that we have Dave McGraw and Mandy Fer - I know very little about them but the CD I was sent knocked my socks off. Singer-songwriter-duos rarely come any better than this Also coming up: Nels Andrews - 20th of April, Woody Pines - 22nd of May, Coal Porters - 1st of June and Ezio - 7th of June. Kantelew half landscape.ai 1 15/09/2011 20:03:20

JUZU KINGS GIGS Fri 1st Mar (10pm)

Superb Vocal/Guitar Duo

The Metropolitan Bar, Station Road, Llanelli

Sat 9th Mar (10pm) The Vault, Wind St, Swansea Sun 10th Mar (6pm) The Castle Hotel, High St, Pontardawe Fri 22nd Mar (9pm) The Uplands Tavern, Uplands, Swansea Sun 24th Mar (tbc)

The Club, Woodfield St, Morriston, Swansea

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For Bookings Contact: Leighton Collins: 07963 937930 Phil Rowe: 07961 937238 E: pr@phil-rowe.net


Enjoy great live music? Want to find more? In a friendly, non-pub environment? Try The Chattery. Swansea’s best venue for americana, alt.country, acoustic music, singer-songwriters etc. etc. Free buffet at gigs, fully licensed bar, tea and coffee always available, kitchen open until 9pm.

paper aeroplanes 24.09.11

Some acts we’ve had include: Mary Gauthier, Duke Special, Sam Baker, Erin McKeown, Nick Harper, Jay Farrar, Jeff Finlin, Madison Violet, The Handsome Family, Willard Grant Conspiracy, Willy Vlautin (Richmond Fontaine), The Storys... Google us and have a listen to upcoming acts via our website giglist page. The Chattery, 59 Uplands Cres, Uplands, SA2 0EZ tel: 473276 thechattery@hotmail.com


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My first text message when Swansea clinched promotion was to Cakehole Presley’s drummer Anthony. Not because, I have spent years on the North Bank terrace with him but quite the opposite. He follows the wrong team in Wales. In fact the whole band do but you will struggle to hold that against them for long. I’ve been a bit out of the loop in both the local and national music scene of late. With the Swans and babies totally taking over my life but when I knew we were going to add a bit of music to the magazine, there was only one band I wanted to kick-start it off with. I first saw Cakehole Presley a few years back and a good while before they released the album ‘Look after your Chihuahua’. Seeing them live a few times I was initially quite upset when receiving the album that a few of my favorite tracks of theirs wasn’t on it. This is possibly the greatest accolade I can give them as the new songs which have replaced the ones I loved are even better. ‘Grab A Rock’ stand alone with me as one of my favourite songs by anyone of all time. An opening line of ‘you have got a face like a slapped ass’ brings a smile to my face everytime I hear it as the whole album does. I can’t understand why their not a household name and I really can’t understand why their not playing more regular gigs in Swansea. I managed to get them a gig down the Pontardawe Inn a few years back and I have never seen a band go down so well there. There were regulars in the music bar that I had never seen set foot there, they’d left their usual stools and been drawn by the music. They returned a few times but landlords changed and as yet they haven’t been rediscovered. A magical sound of almost folk, cheery music with a sleazy lead electric guitar and some wonderfully clever and depressing yet romantic lyrics. They are the best band I have ever seen without having to pay at the door for. I really hope for them that very soon, we will all have to pay to see them but while their not, make an effort to catch them, get their album and if your putting on live music, for Christ sake get them in your venue!!!

We asked you on Facebook who your favourite local live band was and you said the following: Darren Chick-Lewis Ghost train who were in the penny last Sunday. Amazing rock classics to modern music. had every1 up dancing from the 1st song. highly recommended Matt Myatt strip jack naked they are good Andrew Howells evian Steve Watts The riff with swanseas Keith moon on drums Andrew Thomas Evian mate followed by this river. Kristian Davies Rubix John Taylor Gotta be whiplash girl child, not heard much from them for a while, the percussionist/dancer was amazing and well fit though Alun Krem-Szczesniak The Journeymen are always a good listen. Also two of them form a duo called Kantelew (Pronounced can't tell you!)

Loc�� S�n� � ��� M�n�� SkyGoneBlack: Visions of You At only 2 minutes and thirty seconds it somehow manages to have numerous sections in the song and some intricate guitar playing, especially at the end. An acoustic and raw song which could easily have been ruined with some electric guitar taking over. Comments on Souncloud have compared him to the late Elliott Smith and I’m sure even he would have been proud of this gem. An unknown and relatively new guitar songwriter to the local scene, Rob (under the banner Skygoneblack) is definitely someone worth looking out for. A classical guitarist background brought into a mellow and modern world. Have a listen and enjoy the music of a true Jack and a great song. https://soundcloud.com/skygoneblack/visions-of-you-1

Local Band?

Send in your name and contact details and be added to our free band directorystarting next month. jack-swan@live.co.uk / 07974 055529


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higher after the buzz from the crowd and performance. So sitting in my bedroom, the guitar is calling out to me “pick me up I have a tune for you” so of course I picked up the Never easy to describe, but give it a go, what sort of guitar and just like magic the melody started flowing out. I music do you play? then thought to myself I would love to make a follow on to We would say our style was very similar to bands such as The our Michu song ‘Pleased To Michu’ to support the whole Stereophonics, Oasis, Manic St Preachers the music we write team and give them an anthem song for Wembley. I wanted is melodic Rock/Pop. to include the history of our winning Wembley visits 1994, 2011 & hopefully 2013, I feel we have captured a lot of the How long have you been together as a band? history in just under 2mins in total. The song needed to be We were together between 1997-2001 and we reformed in short, simple & catchy with a big chorus and thinking back 2009 and have established ourselves again on the South to when the Liberty was full of Elvis’s back last season, it Wales music scene. was decided that the melody of one of Elvis’s biggest hits and one of the swans favourite chants ‘I Can’t Help Falling What is the bands highlight up to this date? in Love With You’ would fit perfectly into the song along Our main highlights have been winning The South Wales with our own lyrics ‘For We’re The Boys In Black & White, We battle of the bands and we performed at The Wave Radio ’re Swansea Through & Through’ stations Party In The Park infront of 16,000 people. Are you going to Wembley? taking your instruments? Whats your favourite venue to play in Swansea and why? any secret gigs on a train we can look forward to? We enjoy playing at The Uplands Tavern because it has a We are looking forward to going to Wembley and we are great atmosphere and the punters and staff, really enjoy travelling up together with our tickets in hand. We would their music and give us great support. love to play our anthem song before the game in support of the team ahead of kick off, if not then it only takes one What do you think of the music scene in Swansea? person in the crowd to start the anthem off and if that We believe there should be more events and venues that happens we would be very proud, but as long as we get encourage more original music as most places in town only to see the Swans lift the cup and bring it home that would seem to put on cover bands. be amazing. A good mate of mine writes fantastic songs but thinks that audiences just want to hear covers, you do a bit of both, what do you think? I really hope he's wrong because I want to hear new local music. We agree that there should be more venues encouraging original music as there are people out there who want to listen to new bands and there are some talented local bands that write great original songs.

I see that you have a few EPs out any full album on the horizon? Our aim is to do a full album in the near future we have a lot of original songs that we want to record and release for everyone to hear.

Thanks to all our supporters and to everyone who has backed our Wembley Anthem ‘Swansea Through & Through’ and to Jack Swan magazine for interviewing us for this You have a Wembley song out, was it something that just edition please feel free to check out our official website came to you or did you consciously sit down and think 'I www.juzukings.com for info on forthcoming gigs and best want to write the Swans anthem'? :) of luck to Swansea City F.C for the cup final and for the rest The Wembley anthem ‘Swansea Through & Through’ came of the season. about after the band returned from a gig one night, lead singer Ian says “After the adrenaline of playing a gig it’s often Our website addresses are: hard to sleep straight away and your creative level is much www.juzukings.com / www.twitter.com/juzukings


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