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Words From Jack Swan Belive it or not, it has been quite a hard issue to put together, I was quite glad to see what Geraint Evans had to say on the matter (see that later) but its difficult to write about everything being brilliant. I kind of understand why the British media love to create bedlam now because perfection is totally boring. We are joint top of the Premier League. We have conceded just 1 goal in 4 matches. Looking terrifyingly dangerous out wide and with the most creative player I have seen in a Swans shirt in the middle. It isn’t a bad time to be a Jack is it? And Bony hasn’t got firing yet. I hope you enjoy this issue and we have managed to make it worthy of a club in the champions league spot; would we need to take ourselves more seriously at Jack Swan should we become a European elite club? This issue is as jam packed as ever with all the usual jokes and light hearted features. Optimism about the Swans is really starting to gather pace and we at Jack Swan are doing our very best to keep up with the high standards that the club are currently setting. Now anything less than a Champions League place at the end of the season would be disgraceful. The group of players we have should be comfortably winning this league but should be top 4 at the very worse. We know this at Jack Swan and will work our hardest to ensure that we are in the top 4 magazines in the UK to go along side the Swans! Little tip I learned from reading the nationals. Build things up so you can knock them down! Makes for interesting reading!
Cheers Jack Swan
Contents 4: Brave Monk
8: Geraint Evans 10: It Could be so different
16: What Did Canas Do?
20: Jack Swan Tries
24: Jack swan eats food
28: Jokes by Spense 34: Random Attack
40: Chico Time Up 42: Laudrups Legacy
44:
Pictures of the month
46: English FA 50: Idiotic Wenger In Touch 52: Get Picture Quiz
01792 54: What the862129 fans think
07779 499881 56:Dare to dream info@jackswan.co.uk
60: Race to Player of the Year
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Br��� M���
Opening match of the Premier League and while half the world are glued to Van Gall and his expressionless face, I can’t hide my emotions: and this before the game kicks off. A defining moment for Manchester United it may well turn out to be but it was our defining moment that had me excited: Monk in a suit! He’s always said that he needed to earn the right to wear the suit and it was warming to see the youngest manager in the premier league proudly wearing his clobber on what will be one of the most viewed games globally this year. It seems that managers are missing out on a sponsorship deal when it comes to suits. How long before they are looking like snooker players, draped in ‘paddy power’ logos and other promotional deals. It is going to happen lets face it. The Reebok ‘ideal for court’ suit: that will be the one! It will fly off the shelf in Liverpool.
in three games, the only difference is organisation and it’s vitally important. If he earned his suit at the end of last season, I feel like he has earned himself a hat to go with it with the start that he has made to this term. What has really impressed me and somewhat surprised me in many ways is how brave he has been. Not brave in an attacking sense, not in a gung-ho let’s get at them kind of way but brave with his players. He is the boss. He rules the roost. What he says goes. He’s managing big names now, big stars and it is becoming increasingly clear that he’s the man and it is this that has really impressed me, he’s been braver than I thought he would in honesty. The arrival of Gomis really had me wondering. I really struggled to believe that we would be able to sign him
Suits aside, I have been a big supporter of Monk. I’m not foolish enough to gloat yet but I have noticed many of his critics seem to have gone a little quiet with the start that we have made. He has impressed me in many ways, a lot of which I expected in truth but he has gone further and shown even more attention to detail than I thought he would have. His organisational skills were his key asset and why I thought that he was ideal for the job after our shambles under the Laud. We haven’t played any new defender in the league this season and yet we have only conceded one goal
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and only play him or Bony and we will be forced into playing a 4-4-2 which I personally thought wouldn’t suit us. They are two stars and it takes a brave manager to omit a star.
lucky to play for the Swans and not vice versa and this approach, if managed well can be incredibly successful (on a different scale of course but its kind of out of the Alex Ferguson book).
We may still end up playing them both at some point but I heard our gaffa saying that Gomis was signed to compete with Bony and not to replace him and this was music to my ears.
Montero and Fernandez currently occupy our bench alongside the French international and all three will expect to be in our first eleven before too long. What is becoming increasingly clear is that should they get their chance, it will be because of an injury or a result and not because Monk feels pressured by big named stars on the bench.
I don’t have much time for the egg chasing game but I picked up something from an Australian commentator once which was that in the Northern Hemisphere, we tend to try to find a way to play our best players. If we have two quality number tens then we put one at 12 but down under, if they have two quality tens then they make them fight it out for the shirt, getting the very best out of both players. I think this is a lesson which we can learn from and from what I have seen; maybe Monk is ahead of the game with that thinking. He also has the philosophy that players are
We have a two week break before we grace Stanford Bridge and a break like that will usually give a team the chance to reorganise and put the best eleven players on a pitch. It would be very harsh to drop anyone from our current starting eleven but I’m confident that our man in a suit will make the right call for the team and is brave enough to make that change but also to brave enough to omit a French, Argentinean and an Ecuadorian international if need be.
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G�r��n� Ev�n� Apologies Hey guys, look – I’m sorry about this but I’m having serious writer’s block. I’ve never had it this bad before when it comes to talking about the swans. I’ve been going insane trying to think of what to put in these measly 300 words or so and finally tonight, on the eve of Wales’s humiliating defeat to Andorra (Coleman out!), I’ve worked out why. We’re doing well. I know, I know, we’ve done well before but there’s always been something wrong, training ground spats, impending departures... something. But now? Four games, four wins. We beat Utd at old Trafford (not that hard so far) but then we did something we’ve always struggled with... we went and convincingly took care of business against teams that really, we should beat. How can I cope with that sense of optimism? How can I write from a position of not being worried about going to Stamford Bridge?
I know, I know, Chelsea will probably win. It’s Chelsea, it’s Mourinho, it’s Stamford Bridge I get it. But is there anyone out there who see’s the team spirit at the club, how well we’ve been playing, the chances we’ve been creating, the fact that Chico’s not in defence and thinks we can’t get something out of it? Really? I’ve got say, I didn’t think it’d go like this. Even three games in my expectations have been surpassed. I didn’t think we’d be relegated but I thought we’d struggle, hard. I’m sorry to Gary Monk who i’ve been describing as “Tim nice but dim” all pre-season. He’s got it. He’s got them playing like they like each other out there, 7 goals, 3 clean sheets, good football. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE ABOUT? So I’m sorry to Gary, and the players and you guys. But I absolutely promise that when the shit hits the fan in November I’ll be back with bells on. Geraint Evans – comedian, writer, human.
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I� c��l� h��� ���� ������n� A fine start to the season but we need reminding from time to time how things could be different. This is how the last few weeks could have gone if a combination of things had happened and we were just some other club. Friday August 15th A tragic accident during Ashley Williams water nominate challenge leaves the Swansea captain with a ruptured knee ligament. Saturday August 16th Van Gal gets off to the perfect start with three easy points against a poor Swansea side. A Rooney hat-trick alongside a Juan Mata brace topped of a vintage united performance. Sir Alex looked on from the stands and although early days, they seem like they have found their replacement. Playing with 3 at the back really suits the current United crop and Van Gal is clearly an absolute football genius, a shoe in for manager of the year already and bookies have slashed odds of him getting knighted to 1/200 by the end of the year.
Monday August 18th Fernadez signs for Queens Park Rangers for a fee believed to be in the region of overpriced. It did seem that he had all but signed for Swansea City but a last minute offer from the London club seemed to have turned the Argentine internationals head. It is believed that the centre back felt that the hoops had a better chance of survival than the Welsh club who were torn apart by the red devils on the weekend. Gary Monk will be desperate to bring in an experienced defender as soon as possible with the news that club captain Ashley Williams is sidelined until the end of April.
As for Swansea, they look as though they will struggle at the back. Two inexperienced centre half’s in Amat and Bartley looked totally out of their depth at this level and nobody seemed to organise the back four with both Taylor and Rangel playing Rooney on for his first goal. Dyer and Routledge barely saw the ball out wide and Bony came deeper and deeper looking for the ball. On this performance, they need new players, it is only the first game of the season but questions will already be asked of their rooky manager.
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I� c��l� h��� ���� ������n� full back Neil Taylor for the weekend’s bottom of the table clash with Burnley. The Welsh international has chicken pox which will almost certainly see him ruled out of the game. Garry Monk said ‘it is unfortunate, the boy is fine in himself and capable of training as all the lads have had the virus before. We contacted the Premier League and checked if he would be alright to play and they said that it was at the discretion of our opponents. We contacted Burnley to see if they would mind us playing him but neither of their wingers have had chicken pox before and so I can understand why they would want us to leave him out.’ It is expected that Dwight Tiendalli will start on Saturday in his place. Saturday 23rd August Monks problems mount up as clinical Burnley get their first win in another shambolic performance from the Swans. In truth the home side were fortunate to only lose this one by two goals to nothing and troubles seem to be mounting at the Liberty. As expected, Tiendalli came in for Taylor at left back but Kyle Barley was ruled out before the game with a case of expected shingles. This allowed Alan Tate to play his first Premier League game for over two years and he and Jordi Amat looked like two players who had never played with one
another before. Both goals were almost identical, a long ball from the back, not dealt with and Sam Vokes was too fast for the Swansea defence and calmly slotted it past Fabianski. Monks attention will quickly turn to finding a central defender. Swansea have now played two, scored none and conceded seven and are odds on favourites to be playing championship football next year. Tuesday 26th August Garry Monk insisted that there were many positives to take from this shock cup exit at home to Rotherham. Assumingly he is talking about the new formation which saw Swansea start with three centre backs with Kyle Barley returning alongside Alan Tate and Jordi Amat. The Swansea side did look more comfortable at the back but this against a lower opposition and the home side offered very little going forward. The three at the back allowed Swansea to play with Rangel and Montero in the wing-back positions with Bony and Gomis playing ahead of Ki, Shelvey and Sigurdsson. It took penalties to decide this bore draw and the Swansea manager will be as disappointed with their penalty efforts as the fact that his main group of players played over two hours of football. Jordi Amat hobbled off towards the end of the game just to add to the managers’ defensive concerns. Jonjo Shelvey managing to hit the corner flag with his erratic shot from twelve yards.
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I� c��l� h��� ���� ������n� Saturday 30th August
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West Brom clinch the three points in the cruellest of ways from a hapless and unfortunate Swansea side. A far improved performance from the Swans saw their efforts denied with the last touch of the game as ten man Baggies maintained their unbeaten record. The midlands side had Olson sent off after only twenty minutes for what looked like a clear elbow on Gomis which was also the French internationals last action of the game and looks likely to be ruled out for a few weeks with a broken nose. Without any recognised striker on the bench, Swansea sent Alan Tate upfront and brought Garry Monk (who had registered himself as an emergency defender) on to replace him at the back. Swansea dominated possession but never really looked dangerous in the final third but will feel unlucky not to have picked up their first point of the season after a deflected shot saw its way past Fabianski, onto the post and back onto the keeper and in. Speaking after the game, Monk said ‘it is a massive 48 hours for this football club. We need to bring some players in. It looks like Gomis is out for at least 3 weeks and so Bony is the only recognised striker that we have. We desperately need a new centre back and a full back wouldn’t go a miss. We are looking at a few players and I’m confident that the right players are coming in to change our season around’.
At the stroke of midnight Swansea managed to get through the deals to sign Sammy Ameobi and Danny Gabbidon who are both expected to go straight into the first team against Chelsea which will be a top verse bottom match. Ameobi arrives on a three year contract in a £6.7 million deal. His arrival at SA1 is much needed with the injury to Gomis and the departure of Wilfried Bony and he will be the main goal threat in the coming months for a side that are yet to score a single goal this season and are shipping them at ease the other end. Monk will be hoping that Danny Gabbison (35) can help stop the goals from going in as the experienced Centre half signs a 4 year contract believed to be in the region of £60,000 a week. Monk spoke of his ‘relief’ to see the signings come in and also to see the transfer window close.
Sunday 31st August Newcastle complete the signing of Wilfried Bony for £14 million after the Ivorian hands in a transfer request. Asked if he jumped from a sinking ship, Bony said ‘you tell me. I have played 4 games this season and am yet to touch the ball in the box. How can I score if I don’t see the ball? Here I will at least see the ball. It will be nice to play in front of a full crowd again as well’. A parting shot at the Swans fans that have been criticised by many for their low attendance against West Brom where it seemed that at least a third of the seats were empty.
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Wha� �i� C�na� d�? It is incredibly clear that Canas wasn’t particularly popular within the group and especially within the board and hierarchy of the club. Now I am unaware of the reason behind this but these are some of the things that could have seriously annoyed those around the Spaniard:1) He arrived to South Wales having never travelled before and was unsure and quite nervous about making new friends. Jose made a lot of friends very quickly within the group with his fantastic sing along ‘follow the leader, leader, leader,’ tune. This became his ‘safe place’. For the entire season that he spent with Swansea City, he would regularly repeat singing this song whenever he felt uncomfortable, which, being of a somewhat nervous character, was very often. A player who wishes to remain anonymous said:‘It was twenty times a day. It was funny at first, really funny but it just got crazy and really annoying. He got punched because of it. Snapped in training and he still didn’t get the hint. Sports Psychologist Yourinda Shitemate said ‘It is surprisingly common, it is rare for someone to sing out loud but common to hum a simple tune to yourself when feeling anxious. It sounds like Jose had a bad case of it but I have seen far worse. Last week I had a patient who would do the Macarena every time someone spoke to him, all the actions as well.’ 2) Jose Canas was a sex addict with a bizarre
fascination with his team mate’s football boots. The club were fully aware of his addiction when signing Jose, it is understood that the board cleverly used this knowledge and some young ladies from an establishment on Mansel Street to make him sign a contract of less value than what he could have received. What the club were unaware of was his bizarre boot fetish. At one point, 6 pairs of boots were going missing each training session. A player who wishes to remain anonymous said:‘He was just barking mental. He seemed to like my boots. Freaked me right out. He got caught right in the act away at Newcastle. We stayed the night there and Jordi was rooming with him and he caught Jose with one of the boys boots, holding it over the bog while he, well you get the idea. He is one sick man! Glad he’s gone to be honest!’ Sports Psychologist Yourinda Shitemate said ‘Wanting to feel close to ones team mates is a common thing and not abnormal. Wanting to get some kind of sexual kick out of passing ones stools into a fellow team mates foot ware is less common and slightly more bizarre. 3) Jose Canas was really a Brummy called David Spike. Jose or David as his birth certificate states was brought up in Walsall and played in the amateur football leagues in the Midlands. At 18 he blagged his way onto an all inclusive 21-30 holiday in Betis only to be found out on arrival of the hotel. With nowhere to sleep and no money in his pockets, David slept rough waiting for his friends to return for him ready for the plane
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Wha� �i� C�na� d�? home. They never came. For three years, David Spike slept rough and played football with a sombrero hat while picking up the language until he was one day picked up by Betis C (who are the equivalent of Seven Sisters FC). Embarrassed about his real story he invented the name Jose Canas to be accepted by the other Spanish players and succeeded through their ranks. Swansea soon found out about this after signing the player as David always enjoyed a black pudding, unlike all other Spaniards. . A player who wishes to remain anonymous said:‘I’m not being funny but there is one thing telling a Woman that your this or that to get your leg over but a totally different thing when you are telling the footballing world that you are this when you are not. We thought he was Spanish. We thought he was good but it turns out that he’s just some other Brummy’ Sports Psychologist Yourinda Shitemate said ‘In the history of football there has never been a good player to come from the Midlands and so it is totally understandable that he would want to distance himself from the area. In reality, this is a very normal reaction. Should I have a Brummy accent, I would do the same thing I think.’ 4) Jose Canas was irresistible to both
men and women. Not much was made of it when the Spaniard arrived in South Wales and charmed the board. He probably signed a slightly more lucrative contract than what the board would have liked but that wasn’t too unusual for when players signed on a free contract. It wasn’t until his third or forth training session that there was clearly some problem, this after many of the players wives had made a pass at the hairy Spaniard. A player who wishes to remain anonymous said:‘He was just gorgeous, I find it really hard to think about him now because he has left and we had a connection but he had to go. I understand that he had to go but it is such a shame. I know that it wasn’t just me. I know that he made all the other guys feel special too but he was just wonderful. Really wonderful.’ Sports Psychologist Yourinda Shitemate said ‘we often see this kind of ‘super being’ with dogs but very rarely with humans. With a dog, they can be attractive to all other dogs regardless of sex or age or anything but this is very uncommon with humans. I am unaware of any of these stores being true. I imagine that they aren’t but cannot categorically say that they aren’t true but for the purpose of me not being sued. I did make it up. Doesn’t mean it is not right though.
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Ja�� Sw�� T��e�........ The weather has been kind to me on each of my Jack Swan tries efforts so far and the day I went to GoApe was no different. Absolutely scorching sunshine, are we able to say that we have had a good summer yet? It seems like we are never able to praise a summer but from what I have remembered, it has been pretty good, global warming has its advantages. Stop recycling!! GoApe is another one of these places that is local but many of us have never tried and the exact reason for this part of the magazine. It is set in the grounds of Margam Park which is a stunning place. I get up there as often as I can with the kids, it has huge grounds, I can easily lose a day up there and it was really nice getting there early and taking a slow stroll up to the trees. I didn’t really know what to expect, I’m not one for researching what is going to happen, watching videos at what I’ll be doing, I kind of think that it will be what it will be. We arrived and we get the usual 4 hour briefing of what to expect and health and safety malarkey (just to point out that 4 hours was a slight exaggeration).
It didn’t help that I’d had a few beers the night before and so was a bit dazed in truth. I really tried to listen as I’d signed a form that accepted that this is a dangerous activity and that 1 in a thousand people need medical attention and that serious (sometimes fatal) accidents occur. I really tried to listen but I did spend more time zoning out and imagining being a monkey in the trees. Thankfully it was pretty self explanatory as most things are. I think these health and safety briefings could start with ‘are you a complete and utter idiot?’ if the answer is no then off you go and enjoy yourself. It is quite hard to explain exactly what we did and how the course is set up but I’ll have a go. So, we are in the woods, lots of trees (tends to be the case in woods) and there are ways to get from one tree to another, or one platform on a tree to another platform, these ways range from a simple tight rope to walk across to some really tricky obstacle thingy’s that should be on the Crystal Maze or Gladiators. You have a harness which is always connected to rope and so you are always safe (ish) should you fall. There are 4 sections (although they claim 5, the 5th is a pathetic
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starter, learner one and its just being plain cheeky to claim that as a section. A bit like when fans claim the Charity Shield as a trophy, it s a match, you won one game, get over it) and at the end of each section is a zip wire. So we started off on the starter one; A little practice to get to grips with the health and safety training which we are now experts in. I managed to stay alive and not fall off and then we get to practice the zip wire on a zip the size that you see in kids parks, maybe smaller than some. Now I don’t know whether this was because I was feeling a bit delicate from the night before or not but I found this quit scary. Fully trusting this harness to hold your weight is just something which we don’t do as adults very often. When you don’t do things for years, they become quite scary. So I did manage to hide my fear and go down this little pathetic practice zip wire and then we were ready to go off on our own. Training passed. The course is set up to get gradually more difficult. The initial crossings are pretty straight forward and you get to the zip wires with relative
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ease. There is a couple of jungle swings on the course with the firs one being before the first Zip wir
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These are pretty scary again. Probably 30 foot up a tree (could far more or less, lets just say ‘up a tree’) and you got to jump off and swing into a net. I knew I was perfectly safe but for split second your falling before the harness ha you, you can’t help but think ‘did set the harness up right’.
I thankfully did and survived and its is quite a thrill. The climbing up the net to a platform was the real difficult b for me, lacking a bit of physical fitness I think.
There were some really difficult crossings. I think I managed to get through the course without the harnes having to save me although I didn’t do everything strict by the book. There are a few crossings where you aren’t supposed to hold on for example: Like hell I was doing that!!
There is no way in the world that I would do the course without th harness and you can totally understand why the health and safety is so stress as without it and mistake and you
Margam Park, nr Swansea
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Ja�� Sw�� T��e�........ starter, learner one and its just being plain cheeky to claim that as a section. A bit like when fans claim the Charity Shield as a trophy, it s a match, you won one game, get over it) and at the end of each section is a zip wire.
ease. There is a couple of jungle swings on the course with the first one being before the first Zip wire.
So we started off on the starter one; A little practice to get to grips with the health and safety training which we are now experts in. I managed to stay alive and not fall off and then we get to practice the zip wire on a zip the size that you see in kids parks, maybe smaller than some. Now I don’t know whether this was because I was feeling a bit delicate from the night before or not but I found this quit scary. Fully trusting this harness to hold your weight is just something which we don’t do as adults very often. When you don’t do things for years, they become quite scary. So I did manage to hide my fear and go down this little pathetic practice zip wire and then we were ready to go off on our own. Training passed.
These are pretty scary again. Probably 30 foot up a tree (could be far more or less, lets just say ‘up a tree’) and you got to jump off and swing into a net. I knew I was perfectly safe but for split second as your falling before the harness has you, you can’t help but think ‘did I set the harness up right’. I thankfully did and survived and its is quite a thrill. The climbing up the net to a platform was the real difficult bit for me, lacking a bit of physical fitness I think. There were some really difficult crossings. I think I managed to get through the course without the harness having to save me although I didn’t do everything strictly by the book. There are a few crossings where you aren’t supposed to hold on for example: Like hell I was doing that!!
The course is set up to get gradually more difficult. The initial crossings are pretty straight forward and you get to the zip wires with relative
There is no way in the world that I would do the course without the harness and you can totally understand why the health and safety is so stressed as without it and a mistake and you
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Ja�� Sw�� T��e�........ could die, it is that simple.
hours flew by; it was a really good laugh. I would really recommend going there. It’s another local activity that I Bizarrely I felt more comfortable with the big zip wires had never tried before and now I have and I urge you to than I did on the pathetic starter one. It could just be that I do so too! I struggle to see many people being disappointhad made that initial leap of faith with my harness but I ed with a couple of hours up in the trees at GoApe. absolutely loved each one of them. I managed to make a perfect landing on my first one and felt quite smug and confident but that was the last one where I didn’t land on my ass. The zips must be getting close to 100 yards, maybe a bit more actually and going down them is both relaxing and exciting. The last zip is towards the front of the trees and so you can see right across the park, it’s a stunning view. I would do it again. I would do it again tomorrow. Its £30 for a couple of hours and I think that’s pretty decent in today’s money. I must say that I thought it was really brilliant. I really enjoyed it all. A couple of
Jack Swan Tries.... Offering an activity locally and want Jack Swan to come and try it, write about it and let thousands of readers know about it? GET IN TOUCH info@jackswan.co.uk 01792 862129
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Ja�� Sw�� eat� F�o�
For a really massive venue, you would be forgiven for driving through Briton Ferry without noticing JK’s. It is next to the new Tesco (although by the time this comes back from the printers, there will probably be a further five Tesco metros within 10 foot of each other) but it is just off the main road and so can go unnoticed.
couple of pie options.
Bottled 6x made me happy. I still can’t get my head around why a pub wouldn’t have bottled ale as an option if they have no ale on pump. Can someone please tell me why not, it makes me happy. Why wouldn’t a pub want to make me happy? I don’t like a larger; I am not fussed on cider or worthy. Bottled ale and I’m happy. I’m not the only one either, CAMRA need to work harder at their campaign!!
It is worth finding though as it is a proper club. A restaurant downstairs as well as a sports bar with twenty million televisions offering every sport under the sun. Plus a massive hall upstairs, they have signs up for an 8 piece I fancied a curry half and half to go with my bottled 6x. UB40 tribute act in the hall for later in the year, sounds a And my GoApe companion ordered a steak and ale pie. good night to me that!!! One of the ladies on the table next to us was extremely excited to hear that the pie came with puff pastry, I must We popped there on the way back from Go Ape in admit that I do prefer a short crust but then I was having a Margam, it was a tough day at the office that day, the curry so I can’t really complain about what others are things I got to do hey!! I still had bits of wood chippings having. coming out of my shorts where I hit the deck from the zip wire. I shook some chippings off me and we went into the I was quite surprised to have a selection of curry options, I restaurant. can’t remember the last option because as soon as I heard Thai Green Curry then I was very happy, I know Korma was The restaurant is the other option made out lovely. It though. has a nice relaxed feel to it which is It came out half and also the feeling half with a naan bread. from the staff. It What have the English has that homely got against chips? No feel to it and yet it chips with a curry is like is made out very no egg with a modern. The prices breakfast. It might not are what you be traditional in India would expect from but then neither is pub grub and the knifes and forks. Can menu has we start a ‘No Chips, No everything that Fork!!’ campaign you would expect against English places on it. You got your who don’t offer half lasagne, curry, and half!!! Sausage and Mash, Gammon and a The rice was really
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Ja�� Sw�� eat� F�o�
lovely and fluffy. I’m really useless at cooking rice, so much so that I bought one of those rice cookers in Lidl for a tenna a few weeks back but not even that cooks the rice as well as here. It was good enough to eat on its own, it was really good rice! I don’t usually go over the top with rice and I feel I may be approaching the kind of grounds where I’m going a bit overboard but I was impressed with the rice! I hope that comes across.
not cooked in old oil and were very nice’. All in all, I was really impressed. In truth, it was far better than what the price suggested it would be. It is pub grub prices but the food is better than that. The only suggestion I would make is a bit of extra staff training with the card machine. I think there may be a bit of technophobia going on there!!
The Thai curry was also really good. Thai Curry has a different kind of heat to it to an Indian curry. It’s more spicy than hot, full of flavour, lovely colour to it (green surprisingly) and was top notch in fairness.
The meals were £5.95 each and were good lunch time sizes. There were options for starters and desserts but the main was enough for me. It is worth finding JK’s if your are passing through, whether for a pint in the sports bar or a lunchtime meal.
The pie was great, and the exact words on the chips were ‘obviously fresh and
P�ea�� M��� - I w�n� Anyone s���fancy m���!!! UB40? I do fancy a bit of that!
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J��e� B� S��n�� Man surfing channels asks his wife: "Darling, can i watch cricket?" Wife: For god sake, watch porn. You already know how to play cricket..! The wife came back from the doctors on friday and said " The doctor thinks I have acute angina" and I replied " well! your tit's are not bad either" "Give it to me straight Doc," I trembled. "How long have I got?" "Well, you're in good health," he smiled. "I should say at least forty years..." "Stop messing around," I snapped. "and just tell me how the enlargement operation went." Sat watching the telly earlier when the wife walked in wearing just a silk dressing gown. She stood in front of me and slipped it to the floor, revealing herself to be completely naked underneath. She then dropped onto my lap facing me, her legs straddling mine and purred "What do you think I want?" "Oof!" I gasped, "The occasional salad?"
Swans fan spotted heading down the Tawe to avoid parking charges.
I witnessed absolutely disgusting behaviour on the sea front at Mumbles pier today. I saw a man and a woman having an almighty argument in front of a load of kids. Suddenly the woman smacked the guy on the head and it all kicked off!!! There was a massive brawl and someone must have phoned the police. This poor copper turned up on his own and took his baton to the man. The guy managed to get the baton off the copper and began to assault the copper and his wife!!! Then, out of nowhere, a crocodile crept up and stole all the sausages. This masturbation addiction is ruining my life. I've got to get a grip on myself. Is it possible for a person to become so smug that it actually kills them? The Scottish National Party's quest to find out comes to a conclusion on 18th September. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. The guy I work with has really bad spots all over his face. He has the nickname E9 It's the London postcode for acne
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This guy brings his best mate home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30pm, after work. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade. "My bloody hair & makeup are not done, the house is a f*****g mess, the dishes aren't done. Can't you see I'm still in my f*****g pyjamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the f**k did you bring him home unannounced you stupid idiot?" "Because he's thinking of getting married."
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A fat bird started chatting me up in the club last night and I mentioned I'd just had my birthday this week. "Well, happy birthday, sexy," she purred, stroking down my chest. "If I come back to yours tonight, could you put a smile on my face?" "Probably not," I told her. "There's no cake left. If it wasn't for the war we'd all be speaking German, I pondered as I loaded my Lidl shopping bags into my Audi. Scientists have confirmed that only three things would survive a nuclear war: 1) Cockroaches 2) Scorpions 3) The DFS Sale
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A couple of months ago this happened to a member of the Jack Swan family and we thought that we would bring it to light and see what people thought of it and Plantasia. A bit random but you don’t get exchanges like this in other publications.
This was an article which Leon (our advertising sales man) wrote for us about Plantasia and we then gave PLantasia the chance to respond. All in here! Is Plantasia worth its weight in sand? It is one of those places which I have taken the kids a few times and always thought that it’s pretty useless but kills an hour (at a push) and is moderately overpriced for the privilege. Somewhere where I wouldn’t recommend going to but also wouldn’t laugh at you and rip into your stupidity for visiting but that was before last week.
where the nearest toilet facilities would be and come up with Plantasia. I enter with a one year old boy in one hand and holding my three year old daughters hand whose bladder is soon to explode. The place is totally empty (as ever) and I say to the guy on the reception ‘is it ok if my daughter uses the toilet?’ it is a kind of question but lets face it, its not. To which he replies ‘Sorry but they are through there’ pointing at the doors. I reply with ‘well that’s OK, I can nip in there, go to the toilet and come back’ to which he replies that I would ‘have to pay’ for that. To which I replied with a word and then the word ‘off’ and walked through anyway preventing my 3 year old daughter from the embarrassment and the uncomfertablness of wetting herself.
I have a three year old daughter and a one year old son. I go on a hunt for left handed scissors for my three year old (a far more difficult quest than you would think) and ended up delightedly finding some in the early learning centre section of mothercare. I am delighted; I have finally found these left handed scissors.
To which he replied, quite cockily and smugly, ‘fine then I will call security then’. We use their adequate toilet facilities, leave the facilities and another member of staff is outside the door asking me ‘Was it you who just barged through the door without paying’ to which I replied with ‘yes that would have been me’ and she explained to me how the gentleman (I’d call him a few other things myself) followed their policy and (wait for it) I wouldn’t expect to use the toilet facilities in Folly farm and it’s the same thing.
I leave a very happy man, my daughter says that she needs a toilet, no problem, Mothercare has fantastic toilet facilities. However, they are closed for maintenance. My daughter is now telling me that she is desperate, I have a quick think
Now firstly, yes I would, if my 3 year old daughter needed a toilet, I would expect to be able to use anywhere and anyone forcing a toddler who is recently potty trained to wet herself should be strung up and shot but the second issue I had as
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much issue with.
R�nd�� Atta��!
I assume we are subsidising it anyway. It is always empty, it cannot possibly make any money. But why are we continuing to keep it open if it does cost us money? I say, Are we comparing Plantasia to Folly Farm? close it, put their rude and idiotic staff on the dole and turn it It doesn’t seem too long ago that we paid a monster £35,000 for Paul Connor which always springs to my mind every I have far from right wing politics but I cannot avoid but get into a public toilet!!! time we break the bank again. We had a great return from that sum and his goals and performances went a long way in angry when you look at how useless somewhere like Reply from Plantasia Plantasia is compared to somewhere in the private sector such as Folly farm. The latter being adventurous, getting Dear Leon new and exciting animals (whether you agree with caged lions or giraffes or not) and investing and finding new ways I am sorry that you felt it necessary toHave writeyou thisgot letter. to attract new customers. any funny We then have Plantasia which hasn’t changed one bit in twenty years, it appeals to nobody, is it for adults? In which case when is it busy? Is it for children in which case why is it so boring? Plantasia basically consists of a load of plants which are slightly more exotic than what you would find in Wyvale, a few boxed snakes and tortoises and whatnot which you can look around in any pet shop for free and an overpriced café. And we, the taxpaying people of Swansea (I actually live in Neath Port Talbot) are subsiding it, paying the staff costs
and the heating bills to keep these plants alive.
stories from your time at
The toilets at Mothercare have been closed for nearly two I would say anything years now and we get many disgruntled customers beingto do sent to Plantasia to use the toilets. with Trunds really, we were Holland and Trunds got up Like most venues who have an admission charge our and done a little stand up toilets are for Plantasia customers onlyshow andin we adhered to the hotel we were this policy most of the time. When a member staying atof forthe about half an public comes in and asks to use our toilet they are politely told that they are for paying customers only as they are situated inside the Wildlife exhibition room, but we do on longest in many occasions make an exception toWho this was rule the if they explain courteously that the situation is urgent.
I have spoken with the gentleman who was on the front desk and he said that you did not explain yourself very well and just marched through reception in quite an offensiveway manner, youfootball self admit swearing at him in some they play theyto will be up there. I know front of your children. He had allowed quite a few non-paying people in to use our toilets, they had asked politely but your entrance and approach surprised him. On that day we actually had a group of 67 students When you signed for the swans I studying in the Hothouse (we normally have at least two schools a day on site). We onlyplayer have we onehad male and female signed for about toilet and they had spent quite a long time our two years, wasusing that something toilet facilities, our Attendant that was also not sure if they aware you were personally were still queuing but you did not give him the chance to explain. As I have stated previously we very often let non paying customers use the toilet facility, especially
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because of the size of the club. Swansea are a big club and have got the fan base, they were struggling when I arrived in league 2 at the time but when I got there I couldn’t believe the fan base.
Matty: Well John Cornforth said when he’s in the bedroom with Jane he has a beard then.
so who? I speak with Tatey and Roberto quite a bit still.
trying to make sense of his questions. Matty says he was a top bloke and he was a great player for us.
P.c We’ll go for that then
NO JOB TOO SMALL Do you keep in touch with any of the swans players if Massive thanks to Paul for putting up with Matty and Their New EP
If Harry Potter has magical powers why does he need glasses? I haven’t got a clue do you normally get answers for that? We do usually get answers, they are not usually very good AVAILABLE NOW TO DOWNLOAD AT answers but they are usually about as good as the http://theeclecticdabblers.bandcamp.com/ question Ask me another one I will come back to it
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R�nd�� Atta��!
children, pregnant ladies etc but on this occasion it was your attitude and manner which caused the problem.
It was myself who approached you as you left the toilets and I can concur with our Attendant that your manner was inappropriate. I am a mum myself and quite understand the urgency of a young child going to the toilet but I would not assume that I would have the right to use any toilet and would explain and ask politely. Of course Plantasia is not on the same scale as Folly Farm, I was merely pointing out the principle but the fact that the City & County of Swansea has been inspirational in creating a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Rainforestâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in the middle of its City it is unique and incredibly forward thinking â&#x20AC;&#x201C; something we should be proud of!! Admittedly we would dearly love to have more investment as the potential at Plantasia is huge but we are a unique educational tourist attraction, we have approx 80,000 visitors per year and over 10,000 of these are schools who learn about the importance of looking after the Rainforest and by using the plight of the many endangered animal species we have here we teach how important it is to take care of the World we live in. We have many thank you letters from children and adults alike who have found their visit very inspiring. We regularly carryout a customer survey and have very positive feedback on customerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s visits. Plantasia is a small venue and one of only a few wet weather venues in Swansea, like all tourist attractions we have quiet times and very busy times and we are one of the Council venues which actually contribute greatly to their funding through income generation.
you had approached Reception and explained yourself in a more polite manner the Attendant would have understood the urgency and there would have been no problem with you using our toilets. Manager Plantasia Leons FInal word
HI Manager, Thank you for your reply. Jack Swan will publish this alongside the article. I can assure you that when I entered Plantasia, I entered in a very chirpy and happy mood (as I had just found left handed childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scissors and had had a good day) and was not in anyway aggressive or had a poor attitude or had any problems on my mind until being told that I would have to pay for my 3 year old daughter to use the toilet. Out of interest, Was I supposed to beg? I initially asked if â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;my daughter could use the toilet pleaseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, to which he replied, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;sorry but they are through thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, to which I replied with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;We can be in and out in no timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to which he replied with â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I am sorry but you will have to payâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;. How should this conversation continue? Me begging? Me letting my daughter wet herself or me doing what I did? I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really see a forth option. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sorry but I would do the same thing every time! Many thanks Leon
I am sorry if your little girl was upset in anyway but if
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A wasted talent is frustrating in all walks of life. From the talented but work shy to the genius working in the local chipy, it’s just infuriating to see talent being thrown away. And that is my main gripe with Chico Flores.
by putting in a string of really top quality performances. His positioning was that of a centre back, his concentration was that of an adult, he was suddenly a real person playing with his natural attributes: possibilities endless!
As any avid reader will know (which lets face it you all are!), I wrote a scathing article on our former Spaniard a good few issues ago. You may also remember my apology the next issue following some outstanding performances. I don’t want that apology to be my last word on the diva (yes that was meant to say diva although diver would also have worked).
He was then unfortunate to get sent off against Crystal Palace but sadly returned the same shambolic idiot that we had grown used to and this reached a new height when he got sent off with 70 minutes to go against Chelsea. Unforgivable? Possibly not but he never had the chance to repay the fans as he wanted to move on. But where?
I wrote the first article during the final games under Laudrup, I singled him out as he was impossible to plan a back four around. He would wander, switch off, chase the ball wherever it was on the pitch and generally do things which we hope 8 year olds have grown out of. It was always noticeable whenever we played where a railway line was in sight as he would get distracted by the shiny trains. But then came the managerial change and there were many fans and pundits who thought that Monk wouldn’t play Chico because of their ‘brawl’. I was pretty certain that that wasn’t going to be the case; I knew that Monk was very professional and would put any squabbles behind him for the sake of the side. I was though; pretty certain that Monk wouldn’t play Chico because he is a buffoon and that Amat would be a far more reliable partner to Ash. I was wrong (does happen now and then) and Monk backed the pop video star and Chico returned that faith
Transfer moves often tell a story of who a person really is and Chico will thrive in the footballing powerhouse of Qatar. And this for me sums him up: A player with the best days of his career ahead of him deciding to lap it up and take the money as against be a better player. Another wasted talent! Here we had a player who is quick, built to play at centre back, tall and good in the air and has phenomenally quick feet. Physically, he was born to play football at the heart of the defence. He has the physical attributes that would have made Garry Monk the greatest centre back this Island had ever produced: and I genuinely believe that! He’s thrown his career away. He should have 30 caps for Spain by now and be a part of their revolution. Some players don’t like football. Don’t care if they win or not but are simply good at it and see it as a well paid job and he seems to be cemented in this bracket. It’s a real shame to say but absolutely delighted that he’s gone!
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‘We always notice Leon when he’s not there’. It’s a line which every Swans fan has said at some point over the last decade and although we are doing very nicely without him right now, it is a very common statement and usually a very valid and solid point.
Football and footballers are often judged as much when they are not playing as when they are playing. A bit of an ‘are we better off without you?’ question. It is a question which is often asked of footballers but we also use it for managers. There is no doubt that Alex Fergusons legacy is greater since he retired, he could have won the treble last year and his reputation wouldn’t have risen as much as what it did with him watching Moyes fail with the same players that he easily won the title with. Each manager leaves a legacy, whether the players, the moral in a group, certain training schedules or a set of rules. I think that certain managers are easier to follow than others at clubs, for example I thought that Martinez fell on his feet following Moyes at Everton. Moyes was a strict organiser and so Martinez (who can’t
organise at all – remember how we defended corners) could get his creative brain going further up the field while knowing that the back 4 was already organised (I think they will struggle this year as players
need reminding from time to time). I am usually far from a ‘boo’ man and am also not one for unnecessary managerial changes but I was over the moon when I heard the news that Laudrup had parted company with the club. I was certain at the time that he had to go and I am feeling that has become increasingly clear since he has left. His legacy has certainly done no good for his reputation. I think managers get too much credit and too much flack a lot of the time. There is far more to a team and a club than a manager but a bad one can cause havoc. I don’t want to say that the Great Dane was an awful manager: he wasn’t and we had some very, very good days under him and I will be grateful to him for those days. But it is plainly obvious that he was a poor organiser, a poor tactician and also a very poor man handler and motivator. What we can say about him is that he was an exceptional scout. He brought in some absolutely wonderful players and we are going to reap the rewards of these players for many years. Well that’s what I thought anyway: Right up until about now to be honest but where are these players? Pick your starting eleven and Bony will be in it, Amat would today, probably not tomorrow and Ki is a Huw Jenkins signing, we all know that. So what was he good at again?
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Top Left, Rhiannon & Keith with Super John Hartson! Above: Christine Ryland gets to her first game at the Liberty Stadium Top Right: Mr Swansea, Phil Sumbler on his 9th birthday. Right: Diana Doyle and Leon!!
GET YOUR PHOTO’s into us. ADD Jack Swan on FB or joing the JackSwan photo library on Facebook Above: From Dublin Jack! 21 years ago, myself and my brother travelled over to Swansea for a Tuesday night game in the third division v Burnley down The Vetch. We were greeted by Reg Pike and given a tour of The Vetch, brought into the dressing rooms and into Frankie Burrows office to meet the gaffer himself. This was Swansea City's way of saying thank you for our continued support. Such a fabulous gesture from what was then and is still now a fantastic club. I'll be back in Swansea on Saturday for our Premier League clash with Burnley. Can't wait to be back amongst The Jack Army
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T�� En��i�� �A Garry Monk rightfully spoke out against Roy Hodgson for continually snubbing Swansea City players and revealed the amazing and truly shocking fact that he has never watched a game at the Liberty since being England manager. I tried to get some further information and to see what the FA thought of this. First of all I managed to get hold of the current head of footballing development in the England Football Association: Trevor Brooking Jack Swan: ‘Hi Trevor, I hope you are well’ Trevor Brooking: ‘I’m not so bad thank you Jack. How can I help you?’ Jack Swan: ‘I just wondered what you thought about what Garry Monk had said regarding Roy Hodgson never attending a Swansea home game?’ Trevor Brooking: ‘I’m sorry but I have no idea what you are on about. Garry who?’ Jack Swan: ‘Garry Monk, the Swansea City manager’ Trevor Brooking: ‘Oh yes, Garry Monk yeah, used to play for Portsmouth is that right?’ Jack Swan: ‘Southampton I imagine your thinking of’ Trevor Brooking: ‘Yes, that would be it, an underrated player by all accounts, a striker who could play out wide unless I’m confused’ Jack Swan: ‘that will do yeah, what do you make of his comments?’ Trevor Brooking: ‘I can’t say that I saw his comments but there are 72 clubs in the football league and Roy only has so much time. He obviously prioritises Premier League clubs as generally the best players play for them, that’s not to say that Swansea don’t have some fantastic players, I’m sure you do but in order to play for England, we generally look at players who have played at the very top level’ Jack Swan: ‘Swansea are now entering their forth year in the Premier league and are currently in the Champions League places’ Trevor Brooking: ‘I’m very sorry but I’m going to have to go as I have a meeting with Alex Fergusons dogs uncles owner.
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I’m really excited, do I look alright?
A little annoyed but not surprised, I push on, and speak with Greg Dyke, the current chairman of the football association. I hope for more sense here. Jack Swan: ‘I find it crazy that Trevor Brooking seemed to not know that Swansea City were in the Premier League, add this to Roy Hogson never watching Swansea at home, would you say that this the FA was well organised? Greg Dyke: ‘In fairness, Trevor is getting on a bit now and Roy isn’t a spring chicken either, I think that you are being a bit harsh there’ Jack Swan: ‘OK but don’t you find it mad that the manager of England has never been to the Liberty?’ Greg Dyke: ‘Now I know that that is a lie as I have been there with him myself. We usually go to New York Christmas shopping every November and always pop into the Statue of Liberty then. Now if you excuse me, I can’t waste more time with your lies, I have a very important meeting with Jose Mourinhos cats aunties owners. How do I look? Getting increasingly annoyed, I manage to get hold of Roy himself. Jack Swan: ‘Roy, may I ask you a very simple question’ Roy Hodgson: ‘they are my favourite kind of questions so yes’ Jack Swan: ‘Why have you never watched a game of football at the Liberty stadium while being England manager?’ Roy Hodgson: ‘that is a very simple question. A very simple question in deed’ Jack Swan; ‘well please explain’. Roy Hodgson: ‘You may have noticed that I struggle with certain words’ Jack Swan: ‘that has been noticed from time to time yes’ Roy Hodgson : ‘Well I can’t cope in Wales. It is too much. My mouth is not designed to say the place names there. It is nothing personal but I just cannot get over that bridge.’ So there you are. We got to the bottom of it. Hard hitting journalism from Jack swan once again. In the next issue, we take a look at the Middle Eastern crisis and try to solve that!
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It was quite bizarre watching transfer deadline day unfold and being satisfied when no mention of the Swans came. Of course I’d of quite liked a couple of signings to come our way but keeping hold of Wilf was always more important than bringing anyone in. Arsene Wenger called the last 24 hours of transfer activity a game of poker; I suppose we just cashed in our chips.
(Cleverly & Welbeck) and an aging Columbian join on loan.
As it turned out, the final day of the window was all about Manchester United and Arsenal (although some Hull fans may disagree). With Wenger coming in for stick from all angles about his lack of ambition and reluctance to sign a top quality striker. This may be the case, maybe Wellbeck is better than he first appears but he certainly isn’t the proven player that a Falcou is.
And then we turn to Wenger. Here is a manager who doesn’t sign enough proven players and gives too much faith in the players that the club have produced. Tens of millions of pounds at his disposal and he is generally happy to give youth a chance. He’s a fool. An idiot: Isn’t he?
We have been very lucky at SA1 with our football ‘philosophy’. People often question what a football philosophy is and I think that transfer deadline days really shows a clubs true colours, it shows how desperate a club is, how poorly organised a club is and will sometimes tell even more than that. It certainly showed a massive difference in football philosophy between the current Manchester United and Arsenal. I say the ‘current’ Manchester United because they seem to have totally changed (maybe lost) their footballing philosophy. Manchester United went a long time without winning too much before Sir Alex acquired the class of ’92. United are steeped in tradition with producing top quality youngsters and guiding them through the ranks and into the first eleven. Yet transfer deadline day saw two of their ‘home grown’ talent leave
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Was it a good day for them? Did they sign better players than they lost? Almost certainly. But then QPR regularly do that, and as footballing philosophies go, I wouldn’t use them as a model.
The footballing philosophy at Swansea is our biggest asset and the reason why we continue to improve year on year. Take that away and we are simply a group of players who have no right to go up to Old Trafford and win. In our three previous seasons in the premier league, there have been few teams worse than us on paper, I genuinely believe that, far less the case now but we had the worse group of players in our first season, possibly first two. It is the ‘club’ that has been special and got the best out of our players. Look at our players when they leave: they are shite!! That is what a football philosophy can do, it can make an average group of players become good players or good players become great. As disappointing as it was not to sign a last minute player, it did keep with our philosophy and sometimes that is more important than anything else. I think United are in danger of losing their philosophy and Wenger may not be the idiot that we all think he is.
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How many Premier League games will it take for Manchester United to be above us in the league of us at the end of a game week? (this may not be this season) Neil Bev Rock 63 Sally Davies 24 Steve Pearce 13 Robert Day 15 maybe Ian Harding By the time both teams have played 8 games. Dean Richards By Christmas Darryl Jones 17 at same time!! Steve Nicholas About 9 mush Leon Vincent 36. First game next season
Adam John 12! I think van gaal will get a few defenders in on transfer day. Stephen Waite 9 games Emyr Evans 12 Nathan Matthews 13 games Vince Hotten looking at the fixtures (ours and theres) not this year - ask me again in January! Simon Daniels I think we might be the Everton of this season. Could finish two places above them, but I think they'll pass us at least once by Xmas.
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D��� t� D�e��? I don’t want to get too carried away with our start to the season but we are potentially in for a real cracker of a season. It is still very early and we are still a couple of injuries away from being in a little bit of trouble but lets enjoy and embrace the moment and just dream a little. Is it really that wrong getting carried away?
here to there (especially when Leon is playing).
I have badgered on about organisation for over a year now and that is what it is. When we have an organised back four, we keep sides out for longer which gives us a greater chance of scoring first which puts us in the ascendancy. It is that simple and that frustrating when it There was a time last season where a large percentage of isn’t the case. We conceded some goals last season which fans were worried about our lack of goals. We were going would be an embarrassment in a Sunday League. through a baron spell, we were struggling to find the net but I was certain at the time that our problems didn’t lie It appears that we have sorted out the back four in attack. considerably which gives us a fantastic platform to push on. We also seem to have the option of a plan B this year We are a side who are at our most dangerous when being which may mean that we are able to get some points attacked. We struggle to break down a side with eleven when we do go behind. We have goal scorers all across men behind the ball and prefer a side to come at us. Last our team and waiting on the bench. Factor all this in and season, we were frequently one you can be forgiven for getting a down within twenty minutes. We little carried away. were regularly having to push against teams who had shut shop So how good can the season be? and were hitting us on the break. That for me was why we were It can be insanely good. We can still struggling to score goals because go down, we aren’t too good for we were leaking them with too that, we are still very reliant on a much ease at the other end and couple of key players. Ashley constantly chasing the game. It is Williams is absolutely vital to us, I far more difficult to score when was very pleased that we kept hold one down as against one up. of Bony but over the moon that Ash signed his contract. We are a As poor as we are at coming back different side with him in it and we from a goal down, we are could be in trouble should we get exceptionally difficult to play an injury to him (but then maybe when we are ahead. Throw Federico can take over that role?). players forward against us at your will but remember that we have But assuming that we are fortunate the quickest wingers in the with injuries we can make Europe. league that will punish any space Arguably the Champions League. you give us as United and WBA I’m mental? That’s undeniable but found out. We are also capable of not for this statement. There are keeping hold of the ball for eternity with little passes from
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D��� t� D�e��? two sides guaranteed to finish above us. There is no way that we will finish above Citeh or Chelski. I expect Arsenal to finish above us but after that, we have a chance.
than last season. We will win more points from being ahead than last season. We will win more points from going behind than last season.
Spurs, Everton and Liverpool all have European football, with the Merseyside clubs not having it last season and it being new to both our former managers. United? I wouldn’t want to bet on anything regarding them at the moment and it really wouldn’t surprise me that much if we look down at them at the end of the season.
It wasn’t too long ago that teams were signing to us ‘Premier League, we are having a laugh’. Champions League? It is still unlikely but it is possible. Why not have a dream!
I really do think that there is an outside chance of that forth spot going to a different club this season and I think that we have a chance of being there. Without simplifying it too much, we will score more goals than last season. We will concede less goals
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Ra�� t� Pl���� � ��� Ye�� Siggy In reality the top spot could have gone to a number of people but our Icelandic international is sheer class and he deserves the top spot in my eyes. He’s been majorly involved in every goal and I think has either scored or assisted every goal with the exception of Routledges wonder volley. His vision is second to none, his touch, his passing ability, his shooting, he is just a fabulous footballer. I am almost at the stage where I expect him to have more assists than anyone else in the league at the end of the season and I expect him to score double fingers. No pressure boy but that’s what I expect. He needs to continue playing where he is, this formation suits him. Playing behind a striker is his best position and he is our best player and so we need to keep him there.
Dyer Three goals in three Premier League games from out wide and he only gets second spot. I’d forgive our former handbag thief if he hated me as I seem to regularly do him miss-justice and I do always bring up his light fingers of the past. He’s electric, he’s dangerous and when he’s on song, he can finish as well. It is a complete disgrace that he’s not in the England squad but we have come to expect that. The system seems to suit him as well, our wingers are wingers and are encouraged to run at defenders and get them to commit to a tackle. I still want him to do that more. I just want him to get the ball and run, head for the box. He should be winning half a dozen penalties a year, head down and run boy!! A great start though!!
Routledge Is it me or do we have Dyer and Routledge firing at the same time? I have dreamt of this moment for a number of seasons now and it is even better than I thought it would be. He has the confidence that I think Dyer lacks at times: That swagger if you like. He just backs himself, he’s happy to run at players, try things and see what happens. He is growing into a real quality player, I’m amazed that nobody has come in for him to be honest. He has a fantastic delivery from the outside of his foot, a really special skill that. His volley was out of this world. Sadly, Woy misses everything he does. Special Mention Back 5 We have only conceded 1 goal in 4 matches and not one of our back 5 have made the top three to race to player of the year.. The problem is that it has been difficult to single anyone of our back line out. Fabianski has looked really solid and I suppose he could (maybe should) have sneaked into the top three but the back four have been a unit. The organisation which we preyed for has been there and in reality it is Garry Monk who deserves the credit for that. Amat should be very proud of himself and I see no reason why his place should be given up any time soon. Great job, keep it up!
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