Issue 30 by Jack Swan

Issue #30 FREE

I� i��’� �us� B�y� �h� ��p� ��n� �ig��!

KSC CARPETS Tel: 01792 474 922 Free Estimates, Measuring Service, Grippers...

...WE EVEN MOVE THE FURNITURE FOR YOU.

‘You will be FLOORED by our Prices and Service’

MoreThanLoftLadders half landscape.ai 1 08/10/2013 20:01:22

Here’s a great way to make more storage space...

Install a loft ladder and make more use of your loft!

Loft ladder, Light & Switch plus 50 sqft of flooring from as little as £277+VAT which includes FREE fitting in less than a day. Over 1500 people have chosen us to fit their loft ladder, this is because we offer: • A FREE home visit • A FREE written quotation

• Fully guaranteed • A large selection of ladders

more than “cost effectivespace”

C�n��nt� 4: 6: 10: 22: 24: 28: 30: 34: 36: 38: 40: 44: 46: 48: 50: 52: 54: 56: 62: 64:

Editorial 4th place possible Where are they now? Jack Swan Exclusive No room to be nice Pictures of the month Something Stinks 10 Facts about Little Jeff Does the Ryder Cup tell us anything Cowardly Monk Jokes by Spense Poor Old Cardiff Picture Quiz SackMonk.com Guide for Away Fans One Club Men Vital Information More from Spense Race to Player of the Year Mind Puzzles

66: 68: 70:

Whats on in the Garage A musical? Football Poets

74:

Jack Swan Tries

78: 80: 86: 90: 92: 94: 96:

Food, Food, Food Jack Swan Eats food Yes Chef Food Facts The Sectret Breakfastear Pub For kids Parentless Parenting

30 34 76

E�it��i��

2 points from 4 games since our last issue and yet I am actually feeling every bit as positive as when we were joint top of the league. I continue to be a weirdo! I just feel that we are showing different attributes under Monk. We have a certain steel about us which we have possibly never had before. We still have that silky style but we seem to have added more to it. Our pace seems more obvious than in previous seasons, I know that sounds bizarre but they do. The same players are playing out wide and yet they just seem even more electric and dangerous and this is with Little Jeff on the bench. We showed a lot of character against Chelsea, Southampton and Sunderland and I thought that there were big positives to take out of each of those games. Less positives to take from our home draw with Newcastle but for me that is the only game which I would totally like to forget about so far (and we still got a point).

I spoke in the last issue that we had to raise our game here at Jack Swan. That the Swans are ready to be a top 4 side and we need to ensure that we are a top 4 magazine. You may have noticed that we are thicker than usual and are pretty damn sexy as well. We have been working hard to try to make the side proud. In truth, the last twelve months have been crazy for us at Jack Swan. The popularity of the magazine has been ridiculous and we have just had great feedback and support from massive numbers and I’m really grateful for that. One Hundred pages really takes some doing and we have done it the right way: Our content ratio is still brilliant in comparison with other free magazines and we are what we are: we generally make friends, we still get people who don’t get us but they are slowly coming round to the idea that not everything in life needs to be serious!

I hope you enjoy it, I would love some feedback. We It is a massive month ahead for us and we will have have ventured into other areas but there is more Swans and football content in this issue of Jack a far better idea at the end of it what we will be fighting for this season. I see vast improvements on Swan than there has been in any other and so previous years and yet can see clear faults – which is please don’t feel that any new content is at the expense of that. not always a bad thing.

G T� e� u I� ��

Monk continues to win me over and make the right Cheers call. I was really pleased to see Bony get dropped after his sending off as this sent a clear message to him and the team that nobody is un-droppable. Not doing so would have also sent a shocking message out to Gomis and implied that he isn’t getting a start no matter what he or the Ivorian did. It took some guts but was clearly the right decision.

w��.ja�k�w�� .c�.�� 01792 862129 07�80 369545 �nf�@ja�k�w�� .c�.��

THE OTHER PLACE 9 YNYSDERW RD, PONTARDAWE, SA8 4EG

Multiple screens & Multiple sporting events Live music Saturday & Sunday Pool & Darts

Watch the Swans here on BT Sport & Sky Sports

Function Room available for private hire All enquiries to The Other Place - 01792 862999 FREE WIFI

Beer Promotion -

Monday to Friday 3pm - 7pm Selected draught beers only!

OCTOBER GIGS

Playing here on the 25th October!

Saturday 11th @9pm Orange Fall Sunday 12th @4pm Pollen Count Saturday 18th @9pm C 90's Sunday 19th @ 4pm Silver Saturday 25th @ 9pm Hidden Agenda Sunday 26th @ 4pm Roo Kanger

4�� Pla�� Pos��!

I got ridiculed by a few people last issue for thinking that forth place is a possibility this season. I wrote last issue as we lay top of the Premier League.

third and we dominated that match with eleven men.

And much has changed with the feeling with the Swans. The 100% record has long gone, the brick wall defence has crumbled in places and our overachieving start to the season is soon to be replaced with a desperate relegation battle!

So was I being unrealistic by suggesting 4th is possible? What is a realistic finish? Manchester United have sprung ahead of us after me foolishly asking the question in the last issue as to whether they will be able to leap frog us at any point this season. Is survival another good season?

Or not quite: Depending on how fickle you happen to be. There are different football fans: the ‘Dreamers’ are on hold at the moment, the ‘Worriers’ are pointing out that we are only three points clear of sixteenth and the ‘Level Headed’ are already bored with our inevitable mid-season finish.

Not for me. Survival is always acceptable, we can never complain should we finish seventeenth but our current set of players have the potential to finish top eight and I still think that 4th place is possible. I just don’t see four clubs that I can be certain will finish above us. That’s not expectation, that’s not me demanding it, that is simply me saying that it is possible.

The Newcastle result was disappointing. I was actually more annoyed with the performance; I didn’t really think A week is a long time in politics and a month is a lifetime that we ever showed the urgency that we had in previous in football, last seasons Liverpool fans have rejoined games. Maybe we thought that all we needed was to Cheslea, Danny Wellbeck is world class and Cardiff City are finish with eleven men and the result was inevitable but thinking ahead by appointing a manager with lower we never really looked desperate to win that one, which league experience. was frustrating.

It does seem like a few of the Monk doubters have found their voice again after seemingly losing it over the last international break. Not that there is vocal annoyance or displeasure but the ‘everything’s Rosie’ aura has disappeared from some. It clearly shows the level of expectation that us fans currently demand from our team. Our only two losses this season have come away to the league leaders and against a side currently

For me, forth place is more open than at this stage last month when we were top. You would be right in thinking that I’m a dreamer and I’m not ready to put my dreams on hold just yet. We could easily be sitting here with five more points having beaten Newcastle and Southampton. Be second in the league and then other dreamers would also be shouting from the rooftops. I wonder what the collective noun for dreamers is. Continues...

AJA ART Drawings, Paintings, Prints & Requests

South Wales Leading Fencing Suppliers & Installer

Fencing Decking Panels & Trellis Security Fencing Gates Sheds Turf & Top Soil Decorative Agregates Old & New Sleepers Plus Much More INSTALLATION SERVICE AVAILABLE

Call Today

01792 896 540 for a FREE quote

www.arksupplies.co.uk info@arksupplies.co.uk

4�� Pla�� Pos��!

Searching for fellow dreamers, I asked on facebook ‘what was the highest place that we could finish this season’ and came back with the following:-

challenge anyone to be 100% certain that another team will (and I wouldn’t bet my children’s life on the Gunners doing so).

Vince Hotten 5th, everything firing, 10th ok-ish, 15th disappointing, Philip Tyrrell Top 8, Huw Rowlands 7th. Lynsey Hughes Top 8, Stuey Bennallack Top 10, Steven Edwards 1st as that is how high every player should aim, Emyr Evans Top 10 capable. Need to get a grip to achieve that though, Dan Yeoman If we play well enough 8th. Otherwise between 9th-11th lowest, Spenser Davies above us chel, man c, ars, spurs, man u, liv, shmpt, swans below, qpr, burnley, leic, wham,w brom, sund, hull, eve, palace, stoke, newc vial...so i'll say 8th. Tony Davies 6th, Stephen Waite 12th we be luckly if we throw games away like we did saturday or lower, Dylan Walton 7 th, Mary Scfc Cherrington Definitely top 10 hopefully top six , Gerald Roger Jenkins We have had our best start to a Premier season but we 're dropping points in what should be winnable games. So my early season optimistic 7th has dropped to a more realistic 12th.

Liverpool look shockingly poor, no goals up top and leaking them for fun at the other end. They have Champions League football and I can see them almost discarding the league come early Spring. United are still a shambles even if the league table looks a bit better for them, West Ham could have had a point, Everton should have had a point there. They still have big problems, they clearly should finish above us but I wouldn’t be certain of it. Spurs? Everton? They probably both will: but for certain? No chance. We will know more in the next month but this dreamer fully believes that 4th is possible. I’d be saying the same for Southampton as well. There is no ‘big 4’ in this league. Points will be dropped on regular basis by whoever finishes forth, I am certain of that. I wouldn’t be surprised if a record low points tally gets 4th place this year and I think you’re a fool to rule us off pinching it!

It would seem from this that I might be being slightly optimistic with my claims but I still struggle to see which four teams are cast-iron guaranteed to finish above us. Chelsea- no brainer, we could play this season three billion times and we will never finish above them. We could break Costas leg, Hazards arm and John Terry’s ego and they would still walk the league. Man City are less impressive to me and this season has the inevitability of a 38 game parade for Cheslea to walk to the title but we can be certain that the blue moon rising will finish above us. I expect Arsenal to as well but I

The Village Inn

5/6 Swan Court - Precinct - Killay

PIZZAKILLAY

Homemade dough Takeaway or eat in 01792 203311

Camra Pub of the Year 2012

Cosy atmosphere, Real Ales, fresh ground coffee, homemade food : between traditional and inspiration.

Sunday Lunch At the Restaurant 12-3pm

Homemade 3/2 course (£12.50 /£11.95)

Sky, Swansea Games, free WIFI, theme Booking Advisable evenings, live music, Quiz night on Tuesday 01792 203311 and Sunday

The Pontardawe Inn 123 Herbert H Street, Pontardawe ,P (Just (J ustoffoff roundabout) roundabout)

01792 447562 44756 2 01792 447562

November Come and See 28th Our

NEW BAR 14-15-16th November

PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL FULL SKY MULTISCREEN

Live Music From Jessica Lee Morgan & Morgan Visconti

W�� n��?

Matty caught up with one of the best youngsters that the city has ever produces: Andrew Mumford. What is Mumf up to these days? I am working with a teaching company called Apollo teaching services and we supply schools all across Swansea and Neath Port Talbot and most of Wales really, but I would like to mention Alderman Davies School. My favorite school, with Jill and the girls. Who was the best player you’ve played with in your career? I played with a few. Obviously when I joined up with the Welsh squad (there was) Bellamy Giggs, I played a reserve game with Newcastle and Kerion Dyer made his come back then. He was obviously decent and they had Ketsbaia who was gifted. I think probably them two if I have to pick. Who is the best player you’ve played against? A very good player was Hadji, I played against him for the Swans reserves. He was a very good player, he didn’t do much in the premier league but on that day he was outstanding.

HARD & SOFT LANDSCAPING GARDEN DESIGN GARDEN CLEARANCE TREE WORK PATIOS FENCING WALLS ALL TYPES OF DRIVEWAY ALL BUILDING WORK UNDERTAKEN ALL WORK GUARANTEED ANY LIKE FOR LIKE QUOTATION MATCHED

0800 046 7859 01792 356 038 The customer is entitled to a 7 day cooling off period

Are you still involved in the game if so where? Not really, I had to finish the career early because of an injury but I am starting to do a bit. I’ve had a few games with my local mates from Pontardawe on a Sunday and I have had a few games with my mates from St Joseph who I was in college with and I have played a few games for the Swans legends in charity matches and things. We have one coming up in Dunvant RFC soon, and we had a really good one to raise money for cancer at the Gnoll last summer. We are hoping to have another one there this June. So anyone who can help out please get involved: any backing is appreciated. What was your best moment for the swans? Most people say their début but probably the buzz of scoring my first goal away at Leyton Orient to secure a point. We had a good crowd up there with a load of Dutch boys traveling up there. It obviously puts hairs on the back of your neck and the first Friday night game at the vetch and seeing all your mates in the crowd while making your debut. What was your worst moment for the swans? Obviously being told by Bryan Flynn that I was on the transfer list because I was on too much money. Which being a youngster isn’t the easiest to take and some of the lies that he told the press was hard to take but you grow up and you mature more and you handle it in different ways but a lot of it was lies. Who was the longest in the shower? Well when I first joined I would say Tony Bird: he loved it. It certainly wasn’t Michael Howard: he was a dirty Scouse. I

The Colliers

New Road, Skewen, SA10 6ET Tel: 01792 324434

Open Monday to Thursday 2pm - Midnight. Fri, Sat & Sunday 12-12

Open Mic Night Every Thursday Food Served Tue -Sat

12:00-2:30 & 4:30pm - 8pm

Sunday Lunches 12-3pm HIGHLY RECOMMENDED BY JACK SWAN

Whats On OCTOBER

Friday 17th Sam Crowe Saturday 18th Juzu Kings Friday 24st Gut Bucket Band Saturday 25th LAF Friday 31st Crazy Dianmon

November

Saturday 1st The Riff Friday 7th No Direction Saturday 8th Hoodoo Moon Friday 14th Punchline Saturday15th Basking Iguanas

Sunday 26th LESSLIE LUSH DRAG ARTIST - Being filmed for TV PRESSING A H E A D PROFESSIONAL IRONING SERVICE WASH & IRON OR IRONING ONLY Ironing ÂŁ3.50 per kg (4 to 5 shirts = 1kg)

FREE PICK-UP & DROP-OFF

Morriston Cross, Morriston / Tel: 01792 772 888

the

clothes clinic

DRY CLEANERS

Dry Cleaning Laundry Repairs & Alterations Leather, Suade & Aqueos Cleaning Wedding Dresses & Evening Wear Specialists Also full range of Household Cleaning:Curtains, Duvets etc Car Park at rear Morriston Cross, 110 Tycoch Road, Morriston, Tycoch, Tel: 01792 310 553 Tel: 01792 290116

W�� n��?

would say Tony Bird and Roger Freestone depending on how many youngsters were in the shower with him. Were you ever tempted to get in to management? I haven’t thought about it, no doubt when I am older and greyer perhaps but I can still kick a ball so I haven’t really thought about it to be honest. Who was the best manager you played under? It certainly wasn’t Bryan Flynn! Collin Adison was decent; he had Nicho alongside him, you know ‘good cop - bad cop’. I liked Leighton James when I was growing up, a lot of what he has said to me has stuck probably the most. Because he gave me good advice as a youngster: I would have to say Leighton James. Who was the worst manager you played under? Obviously little Bryan Flynn: poison Dwarf! He’s a liar. If he

says your not good enough then you have to take it on the chin but to say your on too much money when you’ve earned it and to get players to come down to Swansea when they weren’t training with us: to me that doesn’t really work out. You’ve reminded me now there is a picture in that book of a 100years of the Swans In press releases etc and there is a picture of Bryan Flynn with you and Johnny Coates behind Bryan Flynn after the Hull game, what were you shouting to him? you looked like you were having a good laugh? No comment, you can have a good idea what it was though. Being a local lad, did you find the attention a bit hard when you first started playing for the swans, give you an example you mentioned before about old school mates bowing down to you in town? Its weird as you said, I didn’t really think about it: I was

PONTARDAWE TAXIS

01792 865560

AUTUMN OFFERS!

ASDA & TESCO YSTALYFERA

£12 Return

MORRISTON HOSPITAL £25.00 RETURN NEATH PORT TALBOT HOSPITAL or SINGLETON HOSPITAL £35.00 RETURN

WEEKEND SPECIAL Pontardawe to Swansea £15 One Way - Car £20 One Way - 8 Seater Before 11pm Only

SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY. BOOKING WILL BE ESSENTIAL. WE WILL TRY AND ACCOMMODATE EVERYBODY’S NEEDS, HOWEVER SOME TIMES WOULD HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE DUE TO SCHOOL CONTRACTS

MEADOW FISH BAR TAKE AWAY & RESTAURANT

GELLINUDD, RHOS Adjacent to Rhos Meadow Service Station

Open Monday to Saturday 8am - 8.30pm Sunday 9am - 5pm pm

Served Served 8am 8am -- 12pm 12pm

Telephone Orders Taken on

Mob: 07706 778 775

W�� n��?

young and you would go training and the older pros would say we’ve got ‘work on this morning’. I know it was work but to me it was just kicking a ball around when I first started. Obviously it was difficult when you get mates bowing down to you when you’ve had motm: it’s just odd but I suppose that’s the world of football to be honest but it takes a while to get used to. It’s not something I really enjoyed; I liked having the kids asking for my autographs: who wouldn’t want that I suppose? You were player of the year for the swans when you were 21, do you think if things went a bit differently you could still be playing now? How much is luck a part of being a professional footballer? I suppose being in the right place at the right time but the way I saw it: I went to college first and I thought if I am good enough then I will get picked up. It was a great achievement for me to pick up players of the year award when I was only 21. I was at the swans for 5 or 6 years and I had about 6 different managers and 5 loved me and one didn’t so I can’t of been that bad. It was probably unlucky that Bryan Flynn came and didn’t fancy me but there are pros and cons, the same as any other job I suppose. Does somone like Bayo Akinfenwa give you hope? Ha ha to be honest if I played now and I was that size at least I know I would have better feet than him: as a player he does a job what does it matter? Managers still pick him up, they obviously think he can do a job. I can tell you he’s not as big in the showers as when you see him on TV because he is just massively cut. People think he’s massive but he is cut and I am sure most people wouldn’t say it to his face if they saw him down their local ha ha. Do you enjoy playing football as much as a pro as you would as an amateur just having a kick about on a Saturday or Sunday? I mean with the pressures that came with being a pro could you enjoy it as much?

To be honest after the first year down at the swans you don’t really think about it, you know if you are being abused. I remember playing Cardiff: I was getting abuse. Yeah you hear things here and there but your so focused on the game that you don’t really noticed it but I just got used to it: you get abused if your playing Sunday league. You would probably notice it more playing on a Sunday than you would with 12,000 people watching you. I have always had the impression that you love playing football; did you enjoy the drill side of things and training as well? I did yeah, I enjoyed the training. I worried before I joined the swans because obviously your going from playing semi pro football (to becoming professional) but you will be surprised how you pick it up and the more you play and train every day its gets you fitter and fitter. I will say some of the sessions you do at semi pro are ten times harder then as a pro because you have to fit things into a smaller Period of time rather than training every day. What was it like scoring the winner against the Swans in the FAW Cup? I didn’t think I would play; I went to see the specialist for my back Alan Bramer who I worked alongside with the Swans and Wales. I went to see him in the morning and he sorted my back out. So I said to Wayne Jones who was the manager then that I would be ok to go on the bench. It was written though wasn’t it? One all in extra time, Wayne asked if I fancied it and I said of course. Then the ball came and it was a great pass by Craig Handford: he would kill me if I didn’t mention that, he always reminds me now but as you said I’ve always had the ability to strike the ball and it doesn’t matter how old you are. But it was a great feeling, it doesn’t matter who it was against, to score a winner in extra time is a great feeling.

Swansea Dockers CLUB

Delhi st, St Thomas, SA1 8BT. 01792 641462, 655476

LIVE SPORTS - SKY & ESPN Including

ALL SKY MATCHES + ALL MAJOR SPORTING EVENTS

New Season of Rugby FREE WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT including Bingo tote etc..

2x LARGE Screens 8’ x 6’ + 10’ x 8’ PLUS 3 LARGE Screen TVs

Multiple sporting events available at one time through sky multi-box

Hall Hire Available for Special Events WEDDINGS, ENGAGEMENTS, CONFERENCES etc...

NON MEMBERS MOST WELCOME

Everest Alan John half ls.ai 1 22/03/2014 00:22:49

Wďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ nďż˝ďż˝? THE EVEREST

PONTARDAWE TAXIS PONTARDAWE TAXIS

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the best chant you have hear from a crowd? You used to play in Australia for a while in Sydney The best one has to be when I made my debut. They used what did you make of the league and how did that to sing Monday Night Tuesday Night Wednesday night move come about? because they used to think I went out a lot: I am sure I had contacts from when I went over with the Wales Flynn would say that I went out a lot. I used to have a few under 18s school boys. It was the first year of the pro funny ones and abusive ones but that one I remember on league over there. When my contract ended with the Swans I had a good offer on the table from Sydney and I my debut (sticks in my mind) but it was nice that they knew who you were. just thought yeah why not, be nice to travel the world. â&#x20AC;˘ No York Hassle - book a no obliga on appointment with one of our expert local consultants at a me that suits you, Dwight came over in the even evenings and weekends Any funny stories from your first year as well and I loved it. â&#x20AC;˘ No - from survey installa on, our professional local team will take care of everything for you. time at the Swans? We cameFuss back because mytowife I have plenty but Ithing haveto got a was but it was â&#x20AC;˘ pregnant No Worries - all our products have industry leading guarantees, some even for life. Sogot thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one less lot of friends still there ha ha, worrya about. fantastic: different way of life there was a few youngsters in this out there. local and one of the girls fell WEEKEND SPECIAL pregnant and there was a few in Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the funniest thing Pontardawe totoSwansea the running be father of the youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve heard on a football I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t name names but they pitch? ÂŁ15year! One Way - Car know who they are and I am sure Probably Bryan Flynn giving me ÂŁ20 One 8 Seater MORRISTON theyWay will be -hiding from their instructions from the touch line! HOSPITAL Before 11pm Only wives when the mag goes out! If you have a good game then RETURN ÂŁ25.00 That was a funny one. I WILL wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;tBE drop you give the opposition players SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY. BOOKING it. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not that cruelTRY butAND theyACCOMMODATE know who they banter NEATH and a bit of PORT stick if they havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t touched the ball. anyone inESSENTIAL. TALBOT HOSPITAL WE WILL are. EVERYBODYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEEDS, HOWEVER SOME TIMES WOULD As youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re probably aware as you have played a bit or SINGLETON HOSPITAL yourself: It can work both ways though. HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE DUE TO SCHOOL CONTRACTS ÂŁ35.00 RETURN you still keepSA7 in touch with Tel: any of01792 the swans UNIT 2 PHOENIX BUSINESS PARK Do SWANSEA 9FZ 701293

01792 865560 01792 865560 FREE UNDERLAY ON ALL CARPETS OVER ÂŁ50*

Improving homes in your area for over 48 years

AUTUMN OFFERS WINTER OFFERS!! AUTUMN OFFERS 100s OF CARPETS AND VINYL REMNANTS* ASDA & TESCO YSTALYFERA

ASDA & TESCO YSTALYFERA ÂŁ12 Return

We will match ANY quotation on a like for like basis

ÂŁ12 Return

and guarantee all our fitting for 12 months. MORRISTON HOSPITAL Call Alan John on 07583RETURN 581198 ÂŁ25.00 NEATH PORT TALBOT HOSPITAL or SINGLETON HOSPITAL ÂŁ35.00 RETURN WEEKEND SPECIAL Pontardawe to Swansea ÂŁ15 One Way - Car ÂŁ20 One Way - 8 Seater Before 11pm Only

SUBJECT TO AVAILABILITY. BOOKING WILL BE ESSENTIAL. WE WILL TRY AND ACCOMMODATE EVERYBODYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NEEDS, HOWEVER SOME TIMES WOULD HAVE TO BE FLEXIBLE DUE TO SCHOOL CONTRACTS

yreMan

� � � W � � P & � � F�� N

Tyres from £15 Including Car Tyres, van tyres & Taxi tyres

Servicing & Repairs Puncture repair

Brakes Pre-MOT Checks

Free Puncture Repair FOR LIFE of tyre whether new or part-worn Address: Rear of 85 High Street, SA1 1LW Email: tyremanswansea@gmail.com Visit: www.tyremanswansea.co.uk Tel:

07594 981464

W�� n��?

players if so who? Yeah I am good mates with Coatsey and Michael Howard, I still speak to Curtis: He’s getting me a few comps with Everton away. I love Curts to bits, he give me a lot of advice and looked after me when I was a youngster. I play golf with Michael Howard regularly and meet him with a lot of the old players in the swans legends games.

fans and the people involved did. It just shows that Swansea will always be a community club.

You played in the game where Robbie James tragically died on the pitch does this put football in to perspective? Of course it does. The best thing that happens in your life is your first child. Football is a livelihood and it doesn’t last forever: obviously, as it didn’t with me. If you can drag it out until your 33 or 35 then you’ve had a good career but at the end of the day, you are kicking a football around a field, you will have good days and bad days but at the end of the day your family are always going to be there for you. You’ve seen the film jack to a king, what did you think of it? I obviously played when Petty was there. I remember not being paid for a few months in a row but as a youngster at the time it wasn’t the end of the world. If I wasn’t paid I couldn’t pay the mortgage on the flat down the marina, I could obviously go back and stay with the parents but the older pros with wife and kids, it was a worrying time. I remember turning up to Bristol Rovers away and they asked if we wanted to play because they said you’re not getting paid for the third month. But it is a good reflection of what went on and as you said you appreciate what the

and it takes time.

How do you think the swans will do this year? I think they are a really good side who can beat anyone on their day but I don’t want people to get too exited after the start. Just the fact that you would expect them to win the first few games (apart from Man Utd which was a bonus 3 points). If we could finish mid table, top ten would be great. Obviously if they can make the Europa league then that would be fantastic but you have to give Gary Monk a chance to get the boys in and mould them because obviously they have some new faces in there

Word association The liberty stadium: Family oriented The vetch: never forget the vetch could you Cardiff: Wanna be top number one Welsh Team Gary Monk: Young ambitious will do very well Bryan Flynn: Raisin face Julian Alsop: not all there Curry and a pint £4.99: expensive Karaoke: got to be in the right place depends where you are and how many you’ve had. Pat Butcher: I would, have to think about it: depends how many pints. A massive thanks to Andrew Mumford for putting up with Matty. The man is a top bloke, he has really helped us out at Jack Swan over the last few years and we do appreciate it. I know he does a lot for local charities and is genuinely a really good guy! Cheers again!

TREE CARE SOLUTIONS Practical, Affordable Solutions For All Aspects Of Tree Care And Hedges

Also, Fencing and Landscaping, Woodchipper Hire, Mobile Timber Milling Sevice: Turn your timber into planks or beams Qualified, Insured

Over 25 Years Experience

Telephone John on 01639 852412 or 07501 150023

Mr. DeMister

Window Repair Specialists

01639 632798 / 07855 948766

info@mrdemister.co.uk • www.mrdemister.co.uk

Misty/Foggy Window Repairs • Glass Replacement • Window Locks • Door Locks • Adjustments • Complete New Installations • All Aspects of Window Repairs Including Hinges, Locks, Handles, Gaskets and Drafty Windows

REPAIR DON’T REPLACE!

UP TO 50% CHEAPER THAN REPLACING

10 Year Guarantee

We remove condensation, misting and steaming from inside of double glazing

We can’t get your message here!!

But A Full Page Advert In Jack Swan From £95 Will Get Your Message Closer To Home! Taking Bookings Now! 01792 862129

22 Ja�� Sw�� Ex��u��! It seems like the discussions about expanding the Liberty stadium have been going on for as long as there has been a joke of a club in Cardiff. And although there has been some good news of late, we can exclusively reveal the reasons behind the initial delay. Some of you may remember Lord Whistlingwell who pocketed himself £500,000 when the bridge was built over ‘his’ river between the Liberty and B&Q. Well Lord Whistlingwell put in an objection to the expansion on the following grounds. “Any expansion to the stadium is likely to prevent parts of my river from gaining essential sunlight. It is also going to increase noise levels which will inevitably put off exotic birds from nestling in the river beds.” One would have thought that he could afford to put up some sound proofing along the bed with the last meal ticket that he pocketed. Amazingly though, Swansea Council upheld the appeal on ‘Environmental grounds’. The 3 man planning committee who looked into the enquiry was led by Mr Whistlingwell (son of the lord), we spoke with Mr Whistlingwell. ‘Of course there was no vested interest and I acted perfectly professionally at all

times’ he told us before entering his speed boat and jetting off down his fathers river. Fortunately these ‘environmental issues’ could be bypassed with more money. Which would clearly fix any problems which could occur. Another cheque of £500,000 was written and all is fine and dandy. We managed to get hold of Lord Whistlingwell himself who told us ‘it is a fantastic result for the environment’ and he vowed to donate an undisclosed sum to the animal charity ‘Guide dogs for Blind Dogs’. The patron of the charity Ms Whistlingwell told us that ‘my father is very generous and often gives donations to this charity as against wasting it away in tax!’. Lord Whistlingwell used the publicity to help launch his UKIP campaign; he will be standing for the party at the next general election and hopes to bring ‘common sense’ into politics and ‘fight for real British people’. So there you have it: Another exclusive in Jack Swan magazine! If you seriously have to ask yourself if anything here is true then you are either a fool or you understand how this country works too well!! On this occasion, this story was made up!

To Whom It May Concern: “We would like to express our gratitude for the advertisement we had in the magazine – “Jack Swan”. We have had many enquiries by this advertisement and the enquiries have turned into sales. We would recommend any business to seriously think of putting an advert in “Jack Swan” and hopefully your sales will increase just as ours have. From The Clothes Clinic (2007) LTD. Morriston.

Misted Glass Replacement

24 N� Ro�� t� �� Ni�� It still hasn’t really sank in that we have signed a 25 year old Argentinean centre back with 31 caps and 3 goals for his country. A player who would have played in the World Cup final if he had been fit, has scored against the World Cup champions and speaks about training with Messi. It clearly shows how far the club has come, not just from the dark days of Petty and Hull but from our Premier League debut. It wasn’t too long ago that we were in disbelief that we had signed Pablo Hernandez; Danny Graham was exciting before that. It is a strange position to be a star. It is rare that you stand out and it generally isn’t a good thing if you do. I suppose it would be a compliment to say that he hasn’t stood out as yet and he has settled down reasonably well without earning rave reviews. It will be very interesting to see what will happen when Amat comes back from injury. It is a cruel world and it is likely that our young Spaniard will go back to where he belongs: on the bench. It could be worse though, he could be Kyle Bartley, who was hopeful of being the first choice centre back a little over a month ago but will soon have to give up his bench place. It just shows the competition for places which we have at our disposal in certain areas. We must assume that Leon will get back in the side as the man is superhuman, he is phenomenal, but I would feel harsh on Ki or Jonjo when

Local Painter

All your external and internal painting

07988 763492

Free Quotation / very competitive prices

they are told to make way. That is football at a high level, competition for places, fighting for everything. We are becoming blessed with this in pretty much every area but we are seriously lacking in the full-back areas. Raising the standards of a team in one area instantly asks questions of another and it is becoming increasingly obvious that we are lacking real quality in our defensive flanks. The jury is still out on whether Taylor or Rangel are the players that they were a couple of years ago but I think it is fair to say that the rest of the side has progressed more than them and they are struggling to catch up. Neither are bad players and neither have really let us down at any point but neither set the world alight either and I feel like they are offering less and are becoming the clear ‘room for improvement’ positions. Taylor surprised me in his first season in the Premier League. I think a lot of credit needs to go to Brenda for having faith in him in the first place as I never felt he was Premier League standard but he proved me and others wrong before his shocking injury, which has halted his progression at the very least. Rangel will be regarded as a true Jack. Is he already our greatest foreigner? He’s been fantastic and he still has a job to do at the club and I’d hate to see us turn our back on him completely but he

Stay Safe Inspection & Testing Ltd Electrical installation services for industrial, commercial domestic customers in South Wales.

Periodic Inspecting & Testing of Electrical Installations in domestic, commercial and industrial premises. Portable Appliance Testing (PAT testing) for businesses and organisations throughout South Wales

PROUD SUPPLIERS TO SWANSEA CITY FOOTBALL CLUB

www.ssitltd.co.uk / info@ssitltd.co.uk 01639 711545 / 07883 300865

Specializing in fiberglass roofs

Players that bring a dangerous threat with them and in turn give Dyer & Routs more room.

There may well be a shortage in that area in fairness. I a racking my brains to think of talented full backs who w should have got in. I was surprised that we didn’t get o of the Tottenham players while Levy and Huw were having daily meals together but it is becoming clear th the position needs addressing and I’d hope for players to com in January.

The rest of the side has a top 8 Premier League player as first choice and a replacement who would make other Premier League teams. We have outstanding wingers, a real threat from out wide and just imagine if there were real quality full backs overlapping them.

but

Also covering- repaints, tiling, slating, and pitched roofs.

Lower Premier League players first choice isn’t good enough anymore. They are fine as cove but our first eleven demands a ‘top 8 player’. Whether they ca raise their game or not is doubtful, they have a few mon but I’d be scouring the contine to find full backs that are at th next level: The bar has been se

All fiberglass roofs are guaranteed for 20 years!! Call now for a free no obligation quotation With over 15 years’ experience.

Phone 01639 841473 / 07980859586 No Roof too Big or Small!

MARTIN JONES ROOFING Fiberglass specialist 255 Brecon Road, Ystradgynlais, Swansea, SA9 1QT P- 01639 841473 M- 07980 859586

N� Ro�� t� �� Ni��

isn’t one of the better players in our first eleven and we need to continue to look to improve. I fully believe that both are still Premier League players but I want to be a top 8 Premier League side and they are not ‘top 8’ Premier League full backs. What is also clear is that both players are by far our best full backs. There is no competition here at all. Jazz was alright against Newcastle, Tiendalli is regularly frustrating and sometimes woeful, and neither comes close to our first eleven. The rest of the side has a top 8 Premier League player as first choice and a replacement who would make other Premier League teams. We have outstanding wingers, a real threat from out wide and just imagine if there were real quality full backs overlapping them.

Players that bring a dangerous threat with them and in turn give Dyer & Routs more room. There may well be a shortage in that area in fairness. I am racking my brains to think of talented full backs who we should have got in. I was surprised that we didn’t get one of the Tottenham players while Levy and Huw were having daily meals together but it is becoming clear that the position needs addressing and I’d hope for players to come in January. Lower Premier League players as first choice isn’t good enough anymore. They are fine as cover but our first eleven demands a ‘top 8 player’. Whether they can raise their game or not is doubtful, they have a few months but I’d be scouring the continent to find full backs that are at the next level: The bar has been set!

WELL SEASONED HARDWOOD

LOGS FOR SALE STOCK UP NO W FOR TH IS WINTE R!

Discount for 2 or more bags Call Adrian on 01639 633960 or 07958 638014 Any Tree Professionally Pruned or Felled

57 FORD GALAXY 1.8 SPORT, TDCi(125) ZETEC,GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,A/C,C/L,S/H,79K ££7,995 11 MAZDA 2 1.6 DIESEL 5DR,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,FSH,28K 8,495 06 AUDI A3 2.0TDi DSG S LINE, 3DR,BLACK,18” ALLOYS,H/LTHR,FSH,88K £7,495 09 POLO 1.4 TDi MATCH, 5 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,56K,FSH 5,995 10VW FORD FIESTA TDCi ZETEC,5 DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C, 54K,S/H £ 7,495 08 VW PASSAT 2.0TDi SE,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,FSH,133K,MOT £4,995 54 318CiNEMO SPORT CONVERTIBLE,AUTO,BLACK,ALLOYS,FSH,74K ONLY££ 5,995 5,495 10BMW CITROEN HDi LX,SENSODRIVE,GREY, 5DR,PAS,R/C/L,7K ONLY 54 MITSUBISHI L2001.4D/CAB PICK UP,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR,117K,FSH £4,995 08 VW PASSAT £ 4,995 06 2.02.0TDi TD2 TDi TS,SE,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,FSH,133K,MOT GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 7 SEATS,84K,FSH ,46 MPG 09MAZDA SKODA 5FABIA 80, BLUE/WHITE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,FSH,MOT/TAX ££4,695 5,695 54 MERCEDES C220 CDi, BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,A/C,H/LTHR,FSH,106K 05 VW GOLF 1.9BENZ TDi SE, GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,E/W,72K, FSH,MOT MAY ££4,495 4,995 55 LANDROVER FREELANDER TD4 HSE AUTO,SILVER,ALLOYS,LTHR,97K £ 5,295 06 RENAULT MEGANE 1.6 CABRIOLET,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,49K £3,995 06 MAZDA 5 2.0 TD TS, GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 7 SEATS,84K,FSH ,46 MPG £ 4,695 05 YLANDROVER TD4 HSE AUTO,BLACK,ALLOYS,LTHR,126K ££3,995 4,695 01 LANDROVERFREELANDER DISCOVERY TD5 XS,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,7 SEATS,122K 08 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 EXPRESSION,3 DR,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,72K £3,695 07 FIAT PANDA 1.3 DIESEL, ORANGE,PAS,R/C/L, E/W,CD,64K,LOW TAX/INS £ 2,995 07 SKODA SUPERB 2.0TDi ,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,A/C, 117K MOT FEB14 £3,495 05RENAULT VAUXHALL CORSA 1.7CDTi SRi, 3DR,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,E/W,109K 2,495 08 1.2 EXPRESSION,3 DR,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,72K 3,695 56 FORD KA CLIO 1.3i COLLECTION, BLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW MOT £££2,495 54 FORD FOCUS ST170, 3 DOOR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, 113K £2,495 98SKODA S MERCEDES BENZ SLK,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,A/C, 230 KOMP, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR,106K 07 SUPERB 2.0TDi 117K MOT FEB14 ££ 2,350 3,295 54 CITROEN C3 1.4 LX, 5 DR,GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, FSH,92K, NEW MOT £1,995 56 MOT £ 1,995 2,495 56FORD FORDKA KA1.3i 1.3iCOLLECTION, COLLECTION,BLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW BLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW MOT 03 RENAULT CLIO 1.5 DCi DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,101K, £20 TAX £1,995 54 FOCUS ST170, DOOR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, 113K £££1,795 2,495 04FORD KIA SEDONA 2.9 TD, SEATS,LTHR INT,94K,MOT 1,995 03 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 3BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,6 DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,107K,FSH RENAULT CLIO DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,101K, 1,995 03 AROSA 1.01.5 S, DCi BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 79K,NEW MOT £20 TAX£££1,795 99SEAT V LANDROVER FREELANDER XDi, 3 DR,GREEN,ALLOYS,R/C/L,99K,MOT 1,995 02 VAUXHALL CORSA CORSA 1.2 1.2 ELEGANCE,5 ELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT £1,695 02 VAUXHALL £ 1,495 53VW CITROEN C2SDi 1.4VAN, FURIO SENSODRIVE,BLACK,PAS,R/C/L,90K,MOT MAR 15 £1,695 £ 1,495 04 CADDY WHITE, PAS,C/L,E/W, 110K, MOT FEB 14,TAX JAN 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £ 1,395 03 DISPATCHSOFT 1.9DTOUCH VAN,WHITE,PAS, 6 DOORS,130K,MOT FEB 14 52 CITROEN SMART PASSION AUTO,RED/BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L, 72K ££1,695 1,495 54 FORD FOCUS TDi ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT FEB £ 1,295 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £1,395 04PEUGEOT RENAULT 206 CLIO1.6 1.2i EXPRESSION,3 02 DR,BLUE,17”DR,MET.BLUE,PAS,C/L,E/W,132K ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEWFEB MOT ££1,295 £ 1,295 1,195 54 FORD FOCUS TDi XSi,3 ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT 52 ROVER 75 CDTi CLASSIC SE,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,A/C, MOT APRIL £ 1,295 02 PEUGEOT 206 DR,BLUE,17” MOT£30 £1,195 51 RENAULT CLIO1.6 1.5XSi,3 DCi, 5 DR,GREEN, ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEW PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £ 1,195 51 RENAULT CLIO 1.5 DCi, 5 DR,GREEN, PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £30 £1,195 51 RENAULT CLIO DCi EXPRESSION,5 DR,GREEN,PAS,R/C/L,MOT/TAX 2015 £ 1,195 BARGAIN

BASEMENT:

BARGAIN BASEMENT: 06 FORD 1.3i PURPLE,PAS, RADIO/CD, MOT SEPT 2014,108K £ 995 BARGAIN BASEMENT: 04 MG ZSKA 1.6 4 STYLE, DOOR,MET.GREEN,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,CD,S/H,71K,NEW MOT £995 RENAULT ££995 995 51 RENAULT MEGANE MEGANE 1.6i 1.6i CLASSIC, CLASSIC, 44 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT 06 FORD KA 1.3 STYLE, PURPLE, PAS, LOW INS, 108K, NEW MOT ISSUED £ 995 01 Y FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £995 01 Y FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £ 995 52 W RENAULT 1.6i 3.0 DYNAMIQUE,3 DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,C/L,134K,NEW MOT ££995 995 00 JAGUARCLIO S TYPE V6 AUTO,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,97K,MOT OCT 2014 99 T FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, 5 DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,109K,NEW MOT £ 795 98 S SAAB 93 CONVERTIBLE AUTO,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,LTHR,115K.MOT JULY £495 53 FORD FIESTA 1.4 TDCi LX, 5DR,BLACK, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 171K,MOT SEPT 15 £ 995 03 ROVER 45C70 1.4 IMPRESSION, 5DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOT JAN 14 ££695 695 99 V VOLVO 2.5 GS T, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT FEB 14 02 RENAULT MEGANE SCENIC 1.9 DCi DIDJI,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,123K,MOT £ 995 99 VROVER VOLVO45C70 GS T, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT 695 03 1.42.5 IMPRESSION, 5 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOTFEB JAN1414 ££695 00 X MAZDA 323 1.6 GXi, 5 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W, 120K,LONG MOT £ 795 95 N VOLVO TOYOTA 850 CELICA 2.0 AUTO GT, RED,ALLOYS,PAS, C/L,E/W, MOT MAY FEB14 2014 £250 95 M 2.0 GLT ESTATE, BLUE,PAS,C/L,E/W,MOT £ 295

�Ic��e� � �� M�n��

Top Left: Shawn 'shawnyb' Bevan with Nathan Dyer. Above: Jody Ballard and friends at India Gate, New Delhi Below: Chris Harris and Hannah May take their favourite read on holiday Right: Obama on his trip to Wales.

Sheds - Garden Storage - Playhouses - Summerhouses - Workshops

10 Year Guarantee

30 Now I like Jonjo, I think he’s a tremendous talent. I have a horrible feeling that we are going to smooth him out and turn the rough diamond into something beautiful only for him to be taken away. It’s a cruel world but that’s how I see it panning out, he’ll make his mistakes with us and then will be poached when he is perfectly developed. I feel almost bitter about its inevitability already; the idea of developing youngsters seems pointless when we know that they will be gone as soon as they are too good…. But anyway, his call up to England was a joke! I’m not Jonjo bashing before I go on. I think he’s brilliant, he makes things happen like nobody else at our club. He’s an engine which starts right at the back and can quickly kick into turbo and propel an attack. On form he should be in the England squad, he should have gone to the World cup but he’s not been at his best this season. He’s been alright, poor in a couple of games, good in a couple of games and about par in the others. He’s not been awful but I can’t understand why he is in the squad now and not four weeks ago and not four months ago. The timing of his call up is just bizarre and almost sniffs of Roy giving into pressure. I watched the World Cup squad with interest, really hoping that Jonjo got his deserved call and being insanely frustrated when

Cleverly and Carrick were on the waiting list ahead of him. I could forgive Roy for not picking him in the original squad but putting those two United failures ahead of him was a pathetic decision when he was ‘picking on form’ And surely ‘picking on form’ is what he should be doing, it is what he says he does but he blatantly doesn’t. Dyer and Routledge have been the best two English wingers in the Premier League this season so far and that isn’t really questionable! Lallana has been slow at adjusting to life at Liverpool, Oxlade-Chamberlain has only played 90 minutes once this season, Milner has been impressive in the last few games but that’s it and then we come to Andros Townsend: 62 minutes of Premier league football this season, no goals, no assists. Dyer has scored more goals than the other 4 wingers have done together; Routledge has scored as many as them all, what is it all about? How on earth can this be based ‘on form’. It is a joke, it is a criminal, there has to be an agenda: more to it, bungs? Bribes? Secret hand shakes? Who in their right mind would pick Oxdale-Chamberlain over Nathan Dyer looking at the last 7 matches? And surely he has seen all seven matches! Surely! He should see 90

0 6 +$55< 5RRILQJ +RPH 0DLQWHQDQFH

All Aspects of Roofing Tiling Slating Fibre Glass & Building Work

For a free quote from an experienced roofer call 07964 711354

32 minutes of every premier league game, every single week, without doubt. That equates to 15 hours work. What else has he got to do in a week? He should easily be able to see two of these games in person and it was a complete joke that he hadn’t been to SA1 until Monk embarrassed him into coming. So assuming he does watch every game and doesn’t simply look at statistics (because if he did then we know our boys would be in there) what is he looking for? What does he want our wingers to do which he seemingly thinks that they can’t? There is far more to being a winger than goals, of course there is, creating and scoring goals are lovely but you need to track back and work hard the other end as well. This brings me to the game Roy actually bothered to come and watch: Southampton at home. We battered them for 40 minutes. Absolutely tortured them and Dyer and Routledge were at the heart of everything, not just going forward but also winning the ball back, putting pressure on their players as soon as they got near the ball. It was a superb spell by the whole team but the pace and tenacity of our wide men was at the centre of it all. We then went down to ten men and both worked their socks off defensively and showed that side

of their game, so much so that Dyer had a heroes standing ovation when he got subbed as everyone (but one it seemed) could see the shift that he had put in. So why the hell were they not in the squad? It is past coincidence, it isn’t that they are unknown to the England set-up, so what is it? Is England a club? Do you have to look a certain way? Behave a certain way? And if your face doesn’t fit then you are not in it? I have met both Routledge and Dyer and both seem like nice people, I have spoken with others who know them fairly well and they speak highly of them both. I don’t recall hearing a bad word about either player off the pitch. We know that they are not disruptive, they are model professionals, get their head down and work hard! It all stinks of politics. I have a feeling that we have been thrown a token gesture to shut us up, keep us happy and hope that we forget about this blatant travesty. It is not just me by the way: there were even national newspapers starting to say that Roy had an issue with Swansea. Congratulations to Jonjo, he deserves another shot at being in the England squad but the timing of his inclusion is as mental as our wide men’s exclusion!

Call now For details on how to receive your

FREE ARTIST

Liberty Tile Studio

Liberty House, 222 Neath Road, Landore, Swansea SA1 2JG

Tel: 07964 954190

www.libertytilestudio.co.uk With 15 years experience we offer a start to finish tiling service and can provide you with expert advice on completing your project to the highest standard. Formerly known as Tonys Tiles, we opened our new showroom in January 2013 – Liberty Tile Studio. We have a large range of kitchen and bathroom tiles in a variety of colours, sizes and finishes such as polished , matt and non-slip . Whether you want to renovate or update a property, start a new build design or simply match up to an existing tile we will help you obtain the best results. We also have a large selection of solid oak, engineered oak and laminate flooring. We have an extensive range of colours and styles to choose from all with a minimum of 15 years warranty. Please visit our showroom to choose from our selection. Fitting service is available if required. “From porcelain, ceramic, quartz, travertine, marble, glass and mosaic we are sure to find the right product for you”

EVERYTHING YOU NEED UNDER ONE ROOF Kitchens * bathrooms * bedrooms * carpets vinyl * tiles * laminate * oak Liberty House is situated in Neath Road opposite the Liberty Stadium Swansea and is also home to Homeguard Carpets and Liberty Home Design. Our showroom has many Tile, Carpet, Kitchen, Bathroom and Bedroom displays to give you ideas and inspiration.

10 Fact� y�� i��’� �n�� b�u� L�� J�� 34 Jefferson Montero has been drug tested more times than any other footballer in the history of the game with officials at times being adamant that he must have taken performance enhancing drugs. ‘Little Jeff’ got his nickname because he is very close friends with Jeff Lynne, who is bigger than him. Montero was the fastest living thing in Ecuador until he got frustrated by that fact and bought a cheetah for the national zoo. Entrants to the zoo quadrupled the following year although prior to that purchase, ‘Sally the black sheep’ was the previous highlight. It is rumoured that Antonio Valencia has frequently spiked ‘Little Jeff’ while on international duty in order to slow him down and make the Man United player look faster. Jefferson once boasted the only house in the world with two toilets which would flush in opposite directions. Montero has never sent an email as it is faster for him to deliver a message himself. His agent was interested in a move to the UK last year and there was some interest from another Welsh club however Little Jeff put in a string of poor performances on purpose when he heard about the interest in order to put them off making a bid which would interest his agent. He has 14 toes on his left foot and only 3 on his right and has 6 knees which are equally split between both legs and his neck. Little Jeff is so worshiped in Ecuador that his birthday is a national holiday and it is illegal to get married on the same day as he did. Jefferson Montero’s father held the National record for the 100 metre sprints and represented Ecuador at the Olympics. His mother is an antelope.

Mobile Solutions UNLOCK - REPAIRS - UPGRADES - - COMPUTERS ACCESSORIES - LAPTOPS & CONSOLES WE BUY AND SELL PHONES AND OTHER GADGETS FOR CASH

PARTY BUS / LIMO: Travel in Style Hen & Stags Special Occasions Proms Sporting Events Prices start from £10 per person

EXAMPLE PRICE: Chelsea 26th Dec There & Back £40 Per Head

HALF HOUR TURNAROUND TIME! MON-SAT 10AM-5PM. 01639 697172 14 QUEEN STREET, NEATH, SA11 1DL

07855 798777 / www.swansealimo.co.uk

The Miners Skewen UNDER NEW MANAGMENT Meals Served Daily Breakfasts Served all dat from 9am pub lunches 1pm onwards 3 course sunday lunches

whats going on? disco party every saturday oap bingo tues/wed/thur 12pm-4pm karaoke every thursday open the box every thursday BT SPORT FREE FOOD AT HALF TIME

01792 447800

D�e� �� Ry�� C�� u� ��y��n�?

It is rare that teams can be measured as simply as in the Ryder Cup. Each player on each team has an individual world ranking and so it is supposedly clear who has the better team on paper. The wonders of sport though mean that having the best players, for some strange reason, means nothing and that there are a million and one other factors which will decide whether a team wins or loses. Europe has now won eight of the last ten Ryder Cups and has (on paper) had a worse team in all of these events. So why is Europe a better ‘team’? Momentum is a massive thing in any sport and hugely underappreciated. Being a winner, knowing how to win, expecting to win is massively important in actually winning anything. I can’t remember which Spurs manager it was but he later came out and said that you are constantly adding new players to a group of underachievers and by the time that you buy new players, your ‘old’ new players have also become underachievers. That was probably ten years ago and that club has never done anything since, adding numerous underachievers along the way. This could be a massive reason as to why USA fails in Ryder cups. There are flip sides to it too. The Championship winning side which Fergie retired with was average at best. No midfield, poor defence and a team far from capable of winning a title even with a prolific Van Persie. But nobody told them that, nobody really knew that, as far as everyone knew: they were winners and so they were. Each player there had won things or joined a team that had won things. They knew how to win, they

expected to win, and they were massive overachievers. This has been the case for the Swans over the last decade (and potentially something that Laudrup didn’t understand- I’m having a dig at him every issue now aren’t I). We have made a knack of surpassing expectations, having a winning dressing room and building a side around influential key players. Not necessarily ‘influential’ as in players who are fantastic players but players who know how to win, expect to win, have high expectations! Each summer we add players to a successful group and there seems no sign of this easing. We have key players, but we are also developing the next crop of key players, the next crop of overachievers. Talent gets you so far, whether in golf or in football. A winning mentality, belief, determination is what decides between winners and losers. The yanks can’t cut it. Losing and underachieving is a habit like any other, ask Cardiff City!

GOLD GALLERY Local Jewellers

Need Cash Now??? Sell your jewellery

Silver Tankards, Cutlery, salts, medals, coins any condition - any amount we buy gold for cash odd earings, snapped chains, bent rings, dental fillings, coins, no hallmark? dont worry, we can test it. We also buy silver - buy back within 28 days 127 Woodfield street, morriston, swansea, sa6 8al 01792 792271

FREE ESTIMATES

Clydach Carpet Centre near Clydach Market

Quality work

•

Sensible prices

•

26 years experience

Carpets • Vinyls • Laminates • Wood Flooring • Accessories Supply Supply&&Fit Fit Carpets from £4.95 sq.mtr Supply ororSupply FREE Carpets from £4.95 sq.mtr. ESTIMATES

Special Offer. 9mm underlay £3 a meter with any carpet

Open 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday, 9am - 1pm Saturday

Unit 1a Clydach Wharf, Players Ind Est, Clydach, Swansea SA6 5AT

01792 849695

www.clydachcarpetcentre.co.uk

email: clydachcarpets@yahoo.co.uk

Cďż˝wďż˝rďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ Mďż˝ďż˝ďż˝??

I know, I change my tune more regularly than Cardiff City manage to embarrass themselves and let me first of all say that I am 100% behind our manager and always have been and think heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brilliant: I am actually in danger of loving a manager once again. But I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t only praise him and I have found something to moan about from the last month. Which, as Geraint Evans pointed out last issue, is far more interesting to write about! The first 40 minutes of the Southampton game was one of the best spells of football I have watched without a goal going in. The passion from our team was superb, the Liberty was rocking and it had a real edge to it. From back to front, our team put in 100% and there looked like only one outcome.

Sadly that outcome was that Bony looked destined to be sent off. Infuriatingly stupid but we can let him off this once after he pretty much ensured our survival last year. What I really couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get my head around in that game though was why we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t bring Gomis on when he got sent off. It really made no sense whatsoever. At the time of the sending off, they had two wound up centre halfs that were on a caution and were looking likely to get another one. One got taken off at half time but Fonte was totally let off the hook, he had nothing to do for the rest of the game, putting a striker up there would have given him numerous questions to answer. Siggy is probably our best player. He is wonderful, he gives us an ability to unlock defences, and he is a really clever footballer but has no value as a

One of the UKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leading distributors of Decorative and Specialist Paints, Wall-coverings and much more (VWDEOLVKHG IRU RYHU \HDUV ZH DW &RORXU &HQWUH NQRZ D WKLQJ RU WZR DERXW KRPH GHFRUDWLRQ 7KDWÂˇV ZK\ ZH VWRFN WKH YHU\ EHVW 3DLQWV :DOOSDSHUV DQG 'HFRUDWLQJ 6XQGULHV DYDLODEOH DQ\ZKHUH Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021; Â&#x2021;

/HDGLQJ %UDQGV )ULHQGO\ +HOSIXO 6WDII 7KRXVDQGV RI &RORXUV ([SHUW 7HFKQLFDO $GYLFH )UHH /RFDO 'HOLYHU\

Unit E15 Ashmount Business Parc Swansea Enterprise Park Swansea SA6 8QR Tel: 01792 790402 Email: sales.swansea@thecolourcentre.co.uk

A�� es�i�n�!

havethe won the on game thebut break but Ionly could only rea lone striker. None whatsoever, has as use much use in that have won game the on break I could really lone striker. None whatsoever, he has he as much in that onewinning team winning the Leon Britton see onesee team the way weway set we up.set up. role as role LeonasBritton would would have. have.

The we shaped up second in the second half meant I alsothat think that aitreally was anegative really negative statement to m The way weway shaped up in the half meant that that I also think it was statement to make. It said to Southampton that ‘wewin can’t the game, i there way weever were ever to going toand score andIt said to there was nowas wayno that wethat were going score Southampton that ‘we can’t thewin game, its if youit’want it’ was which wasI’d clear. I’d rather much of rather o thatwas there real chance of us making the refereeyours ifyours that there nowas realno chance of us making the referee you want which clear. much gone to a3 back 3 and said ‘you haven’t threatened toamake a decision regarding their players who were have tohave make decision regarding their players who were gone to a back and said ‘you haven’t threatened us for us 40 minutes, weneed don’t4need 4 defenders!’ on cautions. Wethat know that referees alreadyalready on cautions. We know referees love tolove ‘evento ‘even 40 minutes, we don’t defenders!’ and askand theask the of them! theup’ sides up’, especially is the side home sideare who a question the sides , especially when itwhen is theithome who a are question of them! man down. man down. I am abig really big fan Monk but that firstunder time u I am a really Monk butfan that was thewas firstthe time his leadership I felt was cautious being cautious I was surprised anddisappointed really disappointed to be honest I was surprised and really to be honest with with his leadership where where I felt like he like washe being and ‘managery’ if you has almost the way we shaped up minutes for 50 minutes that game. It stereotypical the way that wethat shaped up for 50 in that in game. It stereotypical ‘managery’ if you like. Helike. hasHe almost managed as us fans would never easy decision is neveris an easyandecision managed as us fans would want to upthis until this p for a manager for a manager to havetotohave to want him to him up until point. Therebeen havevery been very few play with decidedecide how tohow playto with There have few timesIwhen I haveupset been up teninmen in the first ten men the first half of half of times when have been that a certain a football a football match match and weand we that a certain player player hasn’t hasn’t come on but or not this w potentially could have potentially could have come on or not thisbut was borderline in my ey scraped a 0-0 out of it. scraped a 0-0 out of it. borderline idiotic idiotic in my eyes. Theyhave couldpotentialhave potentialThey could A bad at thein office really pushed forward ly reallylypushed forward A bad day at day the office my in m opinion. It would few minutes (if the lastthe fewlast minutes (if opinion. It would be nicebe tonice t gameeleven with eleven they hadn’t of scored when they hadn’t of Home scored when finish afinish gamea with Dales Improve half landscape.ai 1 29/09/2014 10:15:54 though! they did) we could they did) and weand could playersplayers though!

Daley’s Home Improvements

For All Your Home Maintenance & Building Needs • • • • •

Roofing • Guttering • Fascias • Windows/Doors • All Carpentry •

Bathrooms/Kitchens Tiling/Decorating Patios/Drives/Walls Loft Conversions Plumbing

& All Your Home Repairs Quality Work Guaranteed

No Job Too Small or Too Big. Reliable & Friendly Service For aa no no obligation obligation estimate estimate call call Steve Steve on on For

07816 974869 07816 974869 www.daleyshomeimprovements.co.uk

J��e� B� S��n��

I'm sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion. She's single handily ruining my balloon animal business. Thirty seven years ago, my wife walked out on me because apparently, I hold on to grudges too long. B1tch. Welcome to The Alzheimer's information web page. Please enter your 16 digit password. On my first day in prison, my cellmate said to me, "If you ever come close to me, I'll skin you when we're sleeping, you don't touch me. You hear me? Don't ever talk to me, either." "Blooming great!" I thought. "First day in here and I'm already married." In the event of a nuclear war, the only things that will survive are the cockroaches. Which means Britain should still have a functioning government. If I had a pound for every time someone called me stupid, I'd have £2.50. Keith Harris: lost a £7m fortune because of dyslexia That must have been orville for him The wife has just nominated me to do the ice bucket challenge. I'm a little confused. Has anyone else been asked to hold a toaster at the same time? I went to the library and asked for a book about tortoises. "It's over there," said the Librarian, "In the Hard Back section. I was listening to todays news regarding D.L.T and it appears that The Hairy Cornflake is a Cereal sex offender. Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler... The neighbours think I am a stud when they hear her panting heavily "give it to me!"

10% OFF MOT MOT WITH WITHTHIS THIS ADVERT ADVERT

Tel: 01792 650002 Call: 07885 203185 Fax: 01792 650003

E: ttsurefit@aol.com E: ttsurefit@aol.com

Unit Unit 14, 14, SA1 SA1 Business BusinessPark, Park,Langdon LangdonRd, Rd,SA1 SA18QY 8QY

TOP SECRET - Cardiff decide to copy Andorra’s pitch to represent their style of football

£99

M�� r�� S��n��

If Take That had five members and two members left, how much tax does Gary Barlow owe...

Has anyone else worked out yet, that all you need to do to halt the global spread of Islamic terrorism, is simply to stop the sale of Toyota pickup vans? Barcelona's Nou Camp has been seriously vandalised. Spanish police have arrested a dyslexic Scotsman. ( The NO Camp - as in Scottish Referendum, in other words not the YES Camp! ) Not a good sign when you have to explain the joke Spense!! :P A New York gangster is still unfulfilled after amassing his vast ill-gotten gains so he sends his flunky out to get him some cultural reading to help him acquire some sophistication.

Are we still top?

The flunky enter a book shop and says, "I wanna book...it's about, 'Dick da Shit.' 'I'm sorry, I've never heard of that.' 'Now, don't mess me about, da Big Boss says he wants da book about 'Dick da Shit' so he can be real cultured so he's gonna get it. Now go get me a copy." "I'm really sorry - are you sure that's exactly what he said?" "Yea..da book about Dick da Shit ..or, somethin' like - eh 'Richard da Toid'"

One solution to solve the half time queuing problems

Swansea council propose a new transport system

West Glamorgan Fencing

LANDSCAPING From Hard Landscaping (all types) to the point of decorative planting (soft landscaping)

DE UN EW RN

The Joiners Arms

M GE NA MA

We Are Open From 2pm Everyday Look Out For Our Special Offers

T! EN

27 Joiners Rd, Three Crosses, Swansea SA4 3NY

SA TREE SERVICES THINNING DEADWOODING TREE FELLING POLLARDING TOPPING

HEDGE TRIMMING GARDEN CLEARANCE REDUCING PRUNING FRUIT TREES SPRAYED

BIG DISCOUNTS on trees over 30ft All aspects of landscaping & garden work undertaken 90% Recycled Waste

CALL NOW for a FREE QUOTE 01792 828 632 07769 504700

Stay LOCAL with SA Tree Services

Po�� l� C�r��?

�� G�r�l� Ro�� J��n� Sympathy from Facbook Simon Daniels You dig your own holes. Nobody clever or sensible enough at CCFC to bring a ladder. No pity for them. They all embraced Mad Tan when he came along with his wallet thinking they could buy their way to Premiership glory. Turned out well didn't it. There's more integrity in Huw's little finger than there will ever be at Cardiff. Screw them and good riddance if they fold. Mary Scfc Cherrington Tan said he would leave if they wanted him to, ok he would have taken his cash but at least they would have saved their souls, however they thought that money would buy them class oh dear oh dear Matthew Ambrose I have been saying to them since tan took over when they were bragging about his millions and they were coming for us and I said " his million's will bite you in the ass one day " and it's come full circle as for the statement I couldn't agree more well written Dan Yeoman I don't feel sorry at all, they didn't when we were struggling Kevin TheSwan Wassell There's no short cuts in football only pride, passion and family values and that's abertawe town, capital one cup winners and premier league still having a laugh but never taking it for granted

NISSAN SPECIALISTS s ’ Service and Repairs to ALL MAKES! MOT 4 Ynys Court, Ferryboat Close, Swansea Enterprise Park, SA6 8QN Just NISS-TEC 5 9 . 4 £3 01792 790760 / www.nisstec.co.uk / 07891 857738 Open: Mon-Fri 9am - 5:30pm. Saturday by appointment

est F

et No r

Small Dogs Wash & Dry Full Groom £15.00 - £20.00 Medium Dogs Wash & Dry Full Groom £20.00 - £25.00 Larger Dogs Wash & Dry Full Groom £25.00 - £30.00

Fo Infor r More Book mation or to an A Call ppointm E e 0752 mma on nt 3 05 6229

Building & Property Maintenance All Aspects of Building Work Undertaken Extensions Plastering Plumbing Electrics DAMP PROOFING

07790 263 565

Pic�� Q��

The following people got the quiz right last issue. I thought it was easy!

Bunsen, Scott M, Shaun Pen & Lyndon from the Masons in Waunarlwydd. Adrian Miller got in before his Dad as well! Send your answers into us and we’ll print your name in the next issues (should you get them right and should I not lose my phone) Send answers to 07880 369545.

There is a link with all 5. Number 5 is the best I think we have ever had. Not easy but you will love it when you get it right!

Z SPECIAL OFFERS on WHEELS, SUSPENSION KITS & BODY KITS!

ENIT

TRY US FIRST FOR

Janspeed Scorpion Sportex SPORTS EXAUSTS K+N Pipecross GreenCotton Jamex EVERTHING FOR THE AIR FILTERS & INDUCTION KITS MOTOR TRADE Spax Gmax Koni Avo Friendly & Experienced Service SUSPENSIONS Phone for a FREE quotation Full range of ALLOY WHEELS & up to date prices CT Racing & MAXPOWER Open 9am - 6pm Monday to Saturday Sports & NEON SNOOPER DETECTORS All Parts and accessories Available 2/3 KING EDWARD ROAD, SWANSEA

MOTOR FACTORS

01792 462124

FREE DELIVERY with this copy of Jack Swan

Sa��M�� .c��

Am I the only one who has a bit of time for Mike Ashley? The man has ploughed millions into the club, he seemingly attends every game and had a vision of bringing stability to the club by offering a manager an eight year contract. He even sticks with that manager through some very tough times, when it would have been easier to have given into peer pressure and sacked him. Okay the guy is clearly a buffoon. He’s the guy down the pub who has somehow fallen into money but you can’t work out why as he is a total idiot with his cash but at the same time is very likeable….when he’s buying! The club though, is run exactly how one shouldn’t be (in some ways). The manager seems to have little to do with transfer dealings which generally involve ridiculously high wages on unproven French men and there has never really seemed much purpose about anything to do with it. Large sections of their fans keep holding protests to get the manager out, holding banners of sackpardew.com. I am one of many who have had a little look on the website to see what exactly it is about. The site must have had millions of hits over the last few weeks, making it potentially lucrative. Sackmonk.com is currently available. 99p a year and yet it somehow still doesn’t seem

like a good future business investment (unless of course, he becomes a future Newcastle man) Can you imagine a time where we would get to that stage? Are we different people? A different culture? No! We were once like them; we once bemoaned every poor run of form and blamed the man in charge. What is different now is that the people who make that decision about whether a manager stays or goes are fans. They know the club; they know what to demand from a manager, they have the expectations and demands that we have. We don’t have a board that are trigger happy. Our current board have sacked three managers (from memory: got a feeling Jacket ‘walked’ though), each one later proven justified and I’d say each one was given their p45 at about the same time that us fans thought was right. It is difficult for us to even imagine being in that situation now, for us to have organised protests to get a manager out of the club but towards a board with deaf ears. I feel for the fans, I feel for Mike Ashley, I actually feel for Pardew but they are just a shambles, they are the Cardiff of the North. It is quite refreshing to see a club in disarray now and again just to remind us of how lucky we really are. Damn board were too quick with their firing last season though, I’d spent weeks on SackLaudrup.com!

ALLOY WHEEL REFURBISHMENT & CUSTOMISATION Wales premier alloy wheel repair, refurbishment and customisation specialists. Dedicated to transforming your worn, corroded or damaged wheels back to factory finished condition that you will be proud of. Diamond Cutting Wheel Repairs Tyres Supplied & Fitted Range Of Colours And Finishes 12 Month Guarantee Same Day Total Service

Watch our work with regular updates on Facebook |

The Wheel Specialist Swansea

01792 700 110 ask for Mark or Matt

swansea@thewheelspecialist.co.uk | www.thewheelspecialist.co.uk Unit B9 Ashmount Business Park, Upper Fforest Way, Swansea Enterprize Zone, Swansea, SA6 8QR.

G�i�� F�� Aw�� F�n�

The Liberty stadium is a rich mans Vetch field and like many new stadiums, has lost that bit of magic that the old ground had. Maybe character just needs time to develop but we can’t hide from the fact that the new ground has certainly been a major reason for the Swans success since 2005. It was then that the Swans played their first game there with a friendly against Premier League outfit Fulham, which was a massive club to play against back then for the league one side! It is named the Liberty Stadium due to a sponsorship contract from the Statue of Liberty! Visits to New York globally have trebled since the naming. Everything inside the stadium is useless and overpriced like basically every ground these days. I would seriously suggest having a beer and some food before you get to the ground. There are some brilliant, friendly pubs on the way into Swansea and most pubs will welcome away fans with a bit of banter but half a brain! JK’s Club is a couple of junctions before the stadium and I know Karen welcomes away fans and its 2 minutes from the motorway.

start of it, locals will drag you off to wherever they are going from there but it’s a good place to start! Parking is useless around the stadium, we are expanding the ground and nobody has a clue how this will work. We actually have an old train station that is a 2 minute walk from the stadium but it doesn’t make sense to reopen this somehow: the powers at be!! If your happy to pay a fiver then you will find somehwere close, if not, you will have a walk! Onto the club: We are awesome. I’m sorry to tell you that and I expect you already knew it but we are. The club is run by a board of directors who are Swans fans, with 20% share holding being held by the supporters trust. Our chairman took no wage and no expenses for the first few years he was with us and the whole board are borderline worshiped. On the pitch: We are pretty damn sexy there too! We demand good passing football and we get what we want. Leon Britton is god here, how he has never played for your national team just shows the clear stupidity of your past managers.

If you are travelling by rail, please don’t judge Swansea by the train station and its surroundings! The city is stunning; there are some magical spots for whatever you are looking for, it just so happens that if you enter the city via a train, you enter the part of the city designed for junkies. Wind Street is the lively place for a night out or at least the

Crowd: It is no Vetch but then the Premier League is no Division 3. It’s getting better at times and we are renowned as one of the best and most vocal fans in the league (which says a lot about the prem). Just to let you know, ‘sheep shagging’ is no insult, fire away! Make a weekend of it! Whatever you want, Swansea has it! People are friendly as can be. Don’t be a prick and you will be fine

AWAY FANS WELCOME! 2 minutes from M4. SA11 2AX

Watch All The Sport That You Want

& W�� y�� lo��! Leicester: I have been quite impressed with you in fairness. I have also been pleasantly surprised that you didn’t go stupidly crazy in the transfer market and seem to of got the right balance between improving key areas and keeping the bulk of a squad and keeping its harmony. It is good to see Nugent doing well, he’s a good player and it seems like he’s finally settled into a side and playing well. It took Wayne Routledge a while to find the right place for him and he’s now electric with us and one of the reasons why you are going to lose. I expect you to try and frustrate us, to come at us with a game plan, work hard, give little space and catch us on the counter-attack. This was a clear system to get a point out of us last season but we have one main difference this year and that is Gilfi Sigurdsson. I don’t think that many sides will get a clean sheet here against us this year. Pushing up is never an option against us as our wingers are ridiculously fast but we now have that creative pass and shot from distance which Siggy possesses which means that you don’t want to invite us onto you either. I think you will have a good season. Expect you to stay up but you come a long way for bugger all here. Enjoy yourself when you are here!

Arsenal: I like Wenger but it is hard to keep backing him and the fact that I expect Swansea to beat Arsenal is a clear indication that he is failing. There is no steel in the Arsenal side, they offer little fight in the middle of the pitch and are constantly vulnerable at set pieces. A 1-0 win with Federico Fernandez getting his first goal for the club would be a good bet. It must be frustrating being a gunner. You have been crying out for a new spine for the past few years but you keep buying other limbs. You have 4 arms, 6 legs but nothing controlling it in the middle. There is no fear of you and no expectation among you. I expect three points. Have a good look at Leon Britton if he’s playing and email me to explain why Jack Wilshere is better than him: He ain’t!!!!

JK’s Club

FUNCTION ROOM & Sports Bar Neath Road, Briton Ferry, SA11 2AX www.jksclub.co.uk / 01639 812117

ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHT

EVERY SWANS GAME

massive 52” screen

plus smaller screens all around the bar

Book our 350 capacity hall

At Jks Club we can cater for the following events: Weddings Private Parties Charity Events Show OF THE MONTH Fund Raising Events Reunions Seminars and Conferences Large Funerals

free wifi & darts

O�� C�� M��

y Adams, Jamie Carragher, Ryan Giggs, Matt Le Tissier, may well be done but the game is so different to what it Tony Adams, Carragher, Ryanand Giggs, Le Tissier, used tomay be. well be done but the game is so different to what it ry Neville, RichardJamie Rufus, Paul Scholes soonMatt to be used to be. Garry Neville, Rufus, Paul Scholes and soon to be n Terry and StevenRichard Gerrard. John Terry and Steven Gerrard. I remember interviewing Mel Nurse last year and in his interviewing Nurse year and in his played for your local sideMel and they last decided if you all have regrets in life but how much will our boy Leon day, youI remember day, you played for your local side and they decided We all have regrets in life but how much will our boy Leon went anywhere, it was as simple as if you ret not being in that went anywhere, was as simple as regret not being in that that. Regardless of your itcontract, stigious club. that. Regardless of your contract, prestigious club. you were in the clubs hands. Back you were in the clubs hands. then, if you played for a club, there Back t group of men, that then,chance if you played for astill club, there That group oflegends men, that was a good that you’d up of worshiped was a good chance that you’d still group of worshiped legends be there ten years on. heir chosen team are be there ten years on. atmen, their something chosen team are club onecould club so men, And you don’t have to go that far t Leon wellsomething have don’t have to goCast that far that Leon could so well have back forAnd it toyou be the case either. n. backback for it16toyears be the been. your mind to case 1998.either. Cast mind back 16 years Arsenalyour win the double with theto 1998. s a club legend, there is Arsenal win the double with the He is a club legend, magician Dennis Bergkamp being doubts about that and there is magician Bergkamp no doubts about that and player of the yearDennis (I still hope we being st people blame Souza of the (I still hope we most people as blame Souza one dayplayer call him ouryear manager!) It Leons departure one day call off himthe ourplayers manager!) It departure isn’t difficult to reel instfor theLeons boy himself but as isn’t but difficult off the players the boy himself but in that side whattoisreel really ust against nag at him. in that sideitbut what is really it must nag him. noticeable about is how ‘Arsenal’ ecially when youatthink noticeable about it is how ‘Arsenal’ when you think they were. t it isEspecially hard to imagine they were. it isthis hard to imagine onethat doing again. It anyone doing this again. It

Nuts & Bolts, Screws & Fixings, Power Tools, Hand Tools, Air Tools, Clothing & Safety, Adhesive, Sealants, Lubricants, Janitorial, Maintenance

Serving South Wales For Over 25 Years Units 7 & 8 , Horizon Park Valley Way, Enterprise Park, SA6 8RG Tel. 01792 310284 www.SWANSEAFASTENERS.co.uk

David Seaman, Tony Adams, Steve Bould, Nigel Winterburn, Lee Dixon, Ray Parlour, these are Arsenal through and through. Add Martin Keown, Ian Wright and Patrick Viera in the mix and the amount of appearances that this group had for one club will be incredible.

him back out, so there is no realistic chance of a top club producing a ‘one club player’ now as they get loaned out before they even meet their own squad.

So then we get into the likes of Swansea and we have seen Joe Allen and Ben Davies being sold to ‘bigger clubs’ over Will we ever see this again? I doubt it. Surprisingly it is only the last few Summer windows and so we can’t realistically Adams from that group who never played for anyone else produce a one club man either as they get poached as but they all played massive amounts of games at soon as they reach a certain standard. Highbury. We do have some consistency at SA1. We seem to have more than most. The likes of So what has Ashley Williams and Leon changed? Is it simply money that Britton are being joined by Rangel and Dyer and so we do has meant that have a bit of a ‘Swansea’ feel to players move our team but are certainly some around more often? way off the ’98 Arsenal side. The top clubs sign The game has changed and it more players than will continue to do so. Players they actually need these days. If a will move around, progress in some cases, regress in others. youngster looks like We currently only have one he might be half player in our squad who has the decent then Chelsea will sign potential to be a one club man. There is a long way to go but him up and Josh Sheehan is our man! immediately loan

For ALL Your Plumbing & Heating Requirements Comi boiler specialists Central heating and general plumbing Maintenance and repairs Central heating installation Combi conversions Full bathroom refurbishment All work fully insured and guaranteed. All servicing and land lord reports at excellent price No job to small!

07539 057284 01639 702916

MoreThanLoftLadders half landscape.ai 1 08/10/2013 20:01:22

54 Vit�� Inf�ma�i��: T�� P��! The Public house dates back to Roman times with the introduction of the Roman road system that had inns called tabernaes along the roadsides so travellers could stop and get refreshments and lodging on their journeys.

The largest pub in the UK is the Regal; this Wetherspoon pub was originally built as the Regal cinema in 1937 and seated 1,300 people.

There are approximately 60,000 pubs in the UK.

The smallest pub in the UK is the Signal Box in Cleethorpes though The Nutshell in Bury St Edmunds is currently the official smallest pub in the Guinness Book of Records.

Pubs employ over 600,000 people in the UK. The Red Lion is the most common pub name in the UK, closely followed by The Crown and Royal Oak. It's been hard to prove which pub is actually the oldest but the oldest three pubs in the UK are The Old Ferryboat in Holywell, records show that alcohol was served there are early as 560; Ye Olde Fighting Cocks in St Albans which was recognised as the oldest by the Guinness Book of Records and has documentation that prove the pub has been there since 795. And Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem which is built into the rock face under Nottingham Castle and documents exist that prove a castle brew-house occupied the site since 1189 and parts of the foundations date back to 1070. The town of Rhayader in mid Wales has the most pubs per person with 12 pubs for the 2,075 residents; followed by Manningtree in Essex with five pubs for its 900 residents. The pub with the longest name in the UK is The Old Thirteenth Cheshire Astley Volunteer Rifleman Corps Inn in Stalybridge, Greater Manchester. The strongest beer is German, 57% and called Schorschbräu Schorschbock.

20 Parkway, Sketty, Swansea SA2 8JJ 3 Picton Arcade, Swansea, SA1 3BH Tel/Fax 01792 299963 Tel: 01792 205709

www.baytreeflorists.co.uk sales@baytreeflorists.co.uk

The most expensive beer was produced by Brewdog, costing £500 for a 330ml bottle of The End of History beer. Only 12 were made, each unique bottle is made out of a stuffed animal dressed in an eccentric outfit. The most expensive pint was served at the Coach and Horses in Soho London, where a pint of Leffe beer cost £5.80 in 2010. It currently costs £5.50. The lowest pub in England is the Admiral Wells in Peterborough which is 9ft below sea level. The highest pub is the Tan Inn in the Yorkshire Dales which is 1,700 feet above sea level. Five of London's Underground stations were named after pubs that existed close to their site. Angel, after the Angel Coaching Inn which dates back to 1638. Elephant & Castle; Manor House, after the Manor Tavern which was later renamed Manor House in 1931. Royal Oak and Swiss Cottage named after The Swiss Tavern which was built in 1803 and later renamed Swiss Cottage. NOW YOU KNOW!

An Advert here costs

£20.

07880 369545

56 EV�N M�� r�� S��n�� Joke of the month

A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing happened. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand - nothing. Then with her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your NEIGHBOUR?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the ******* jar open!"

WOW interesting! Venus is the only planet in the Solar System to turn clockwise. All other planets turn anti-clockwise. It rotates clockwise on its axis extremely slowly, suggesting that something might have once collided with it to disrupt its regular rotation.

***** Warning ***** Don't confuse laxatives with Viagra. It makes you crap in bed.

I never thought I'd buy into Feng Shui. But oh how the tables have turned. Huw Jenkins spent 24 months and £500k researching why the male penis had a bulbous end. He came to the conclusion that it was to give the male of the species more pleasure. Lee Trundle spent 8 years and £233m researching the same phenomena. He came to the conclusion that it was to give the female of the species more pleasure. Vincent Tan spent 2 hours and £60 researching the same. He came to the conclusion that it was to stop your hand coming off the end. A Swansea regular enters Bargain Booze and says: "10 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container? "You're speaking to it."

�� n��

��n� ��

ROOFING & BUILDING REPAIRS

Ridge Tiles re-pointed. Tiles replaces Chimney re-pointed, taken down & rebuilt All Upvc renewal, fascias, sofits & gutters repaired & cleaned All types of flat roofing repairs & new flat roofs All types of exterior painting, wall fascia, gutters, timber treated etc.. All types of damp problems solved Parfit Walls repaired and sealed All types of roofing work undertaken

Call now for a FREE QUOTE 15% DISCOUNT SUPPORT YOUR 01792 828632 WITH THIS ADVERT LOCAL ROOFER! 07434 818704

CHAMPIONS BREWERS MORRISTON. 106 Martin St, SA6 7BL Open Every Day From 1pm Add us on Facebook to see upcoming events like our halloween party!

KARAOKE SUNDAY 5PM

ÂŁ2.50 a pint on selected beers 2pm - 8pm

Private room available to hire for

FREE

Want to avoid arguments? Make sure your Will is right Call us now 01792 865700

E�� m�� r�� S��n��!

I've started to wear a balaclava when I go to bed. That way, if there's ever a break in, the burglars will think I'm part of the team. Paddy was asked if he preferred legs or breasts. He replied that he had a particular fondness for shaved fannies. He was informed that this wasn't an option when choosing a KFC bargain bucket.

Young pikey girl's sat with her mum the night before her wedding. Her mum says to her "l want to talk to you about your wedding night. Your husband will want to put his most prized posession where you pee." The girl turns to her mum and says "why would he want to put his tarmacing rake in the sink?" I once went out with a girl who had eczema. She had cracking tits. Thought of the Day: The homeless problem would be solved overnight if the Big Issue had tits in it. I like these: 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. Cardiff managers new company car 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name? 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?" 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. Daleys Waste Clearance qtr landscape.ai 1 29/09/2014 10:17:20 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Garden Waste, Household Waste All Waste Professionally Removed. Licensed Waste Carrier Domestic • Commercial • Industrial Call Steve for a no obligation estimate

62 Ra�� t� Pl�� Ye�� II really struggled with the order of these 3. Felt like they were the top three but could have put them in any order really.

1st

Dyer An important pub debate arose the other day where we argued over whether Dyer or Routledge has had the better season so far. Both have been outstanding but you can see what I think on that debate with Dyers inclusion here. He is a funny player as he goes through spells where he scores for fun and then others where he couldn’t score in a brothel. Montero must be hoping for a baron spell from our reformed hand bag thief but it isn’t looking likely at the moment. He has clearly improved massively over his career but I genuinely feel like there is still a lot more to come from him, he doesn’t always play to his strengths which are clearly his running ability. I said it last issue but he’s still not listening to me! Run at them boy! Just run! Get defenders to make a decision! Siggy He seemed to have almost had a quiet spell for a bit. I’m sure he went two games without an assist: Shocking! He has only mustered the one league goal so far and I hope and expect that ratio to improve and the extra goals will be most welcome. Scored a cracker for Iceland once again, that’s now 7 goals in 26 games which is very impressive at international level. He is becoming vital to our team. He isn’t vital in the same way as Leon or Ash, we will survive should he get injured for a while but we are a far easier team to defend against without him in the side. He is the one man with the ability to unlock a defence. Teams will struggle to invite us onto them when we have him playing as he can both score and create from nothing.

2nd

Fabianski Our Polish keeper has settled into life at SA1 with complete ease. He looks comfortable at crosses, a good shot stopper and hasn’t set a foot wrong in seven outings which is all he can do. His distribution seems to be fine, he may not have the footwork of Vorm (although time will tell) but he’s assured with the ball on the deck and offers the pass back as an option. He’s yet to pull off a real wonder save, nor has he had one of those games where you know that no matter how long the games is played: he’s destined for a clean sheet. This might sound bizarre but it will be a long season for him, he hasn’t played 40 plus games in a season for a long time and it could become an issue later in the season: Not physically but mentally. Time will tell and I hope that I’m wrong but something to consider. Special Mention

3rd

Ki: There is no hiding from the fact that he looks a far better player than the player we sent out on loan. He looks the complete midfielder, with the ability to create and score while also breaking up play. He seems to have added that bit of toughness which he lacked a couple of seasons ago. Great to see him so keen to sign a contract extension. Will he keep his place when Leon returns? Jonjo under threat?

Need Heating Heating Oil? Oil? Need For the BEST price on heating oil

Shane Williams independant family business Get in Touch 01269 822703 www.starmultifuels.co.uk 24 Hour Emergency Contact No: 07854 919402

M�n� P��e�

1) The day before yesterday, Chris was 7 years old. Next year, she'll turn 10. How is this possible? 2) Why are 1999 ten pound notes worth more than 1993 ten pound notes? 3) What is so fragile that when you say its name, you break it? 4) When James was nine years old he hammered a nail into a tree to mark his height. Ten years later, James returned to see how much higher the nail was. If the tree grew by four inches each year, how much higher would the nail be? 5) A boy and a doctor was fishing. The boy is the doctor's son but the doctor is not the boy's father. who is the doctor? 6) Which word, if pronounced right, is wrong, but if pronounced wrong is right? 7) The maker doesn't need it, the owner doesn't want it, the user doesn't know he's using it what is it? 8) How man triangles are below:9) what number should replace the question mark below? 10) What does this funny rebus riddle means?

Answers 1) Because it is 1st January. Yesterday was Chris’s birthday and he turned 8 (31st December), later this year he will turn 9 and will be 10 next year.. 2) There are more of them 3) Silence 4) Trees grow from the top! 5) His mother 6) Wrong 7) A coffin 8) 13 9) 17, It is the sum of the two digits(9 + 8) in opposite quadrant. 10) I Ate Some Pie and It Was Delicious.

A business is looking for new customers and a very popular local magazine offers the chance to have a quarter page advert (like this) for £35. Why would they not phone 01792 862 129, 07780 369545 or email info@jackswan.co.uk?

SWANSEA RADIATORS & AUTOPARTS

Swansea Radiators & Autoparts 01792ďż˝793344 Units 9 & 10 Clarion Court Clarion Close, Swansea, SA6 8RF Tel:

Units 9 & 10 Clarion Court, Clarion Close, www.swansearadiatorsandautoparts.co.uk Swansea SA63BEJBUPST #BUUFSJFT "MVNJOJVN 8FMEJOH 8RF

1MBTUJD 8FMEJOH 5VSCPT 0JMT 5PPMT 01792 793344 $POTVNBCMFT 4IPU #MBTUJOH

swansearadiatorsandautoparts.co.uk

www.swansearadiatorsandautoparts.co.uk/

Located not far from Asda in Llansamlet, unusual fixes are our specialty as well as your normal radiators and batteries. Find us on Facebook http:// tinyurl.com/lqnnvjb. We are proud to support our community through our work as Business Partners with Macmillan Cancer support. Keep an eye on our Facebook page for details for forthcoming events and special offers. Everything including Alloy Wheels, bike radiators, sumps, brackets, bicycles and boat rudders and fuel tanks have been aluminium welded by us. Some of our plastic welding fixes have included, Kayaks, bumpers, headlights, motorhome shower trays, motorbike fairings, fuel tanks, pushchair brackets and portable hairdressing basins to name a few. If in doubt give us a shout. We DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T charge for assessment and advice.

What� ��: G�ra��

The Garage Music Venue has been steadily growing stronger with each passing year. Opened in 2008, the venue is a 250 capacity hub of musical vareity. From folk to dance, via hard rock and indie grooves, The Garage caters for all tastes and styles. Doors mainly open around 8pm and events can finish up to 3am. Here's what we have coming up in the next two months. THE ROCKY HORROR SKA PUNK SHOW FRI 31st OCT 2014 Jeepers Creepers Halloween is on a weekend this year. Time to drag up your scariest costume from the outfits grave & rock on down to the garage for a night of ghoulishly good entertainment. Fancy dress theme Zombie / Rocky Horror. Bands include Fasta benj / A Sudden Vengeance Waits /The Dapper Cadavers / The Low Blows plus our DJ will be spinning loads of Rocky Horror themed lunacy.(Pictured Attached) OZRIC TENTACLES - 2nd November With over 25 albums under their belt, cosmic rockers Ozric Tentacles have been hailed as a 'one of a kind' band and became a cottage industry selling over a million albums worldwide despite never having major label backing. TURIN BRAKES - 7th November Hailing from Balham, London, Turin Brakes had a top five hit with their song Painkiller and many other singles did very well too. The band have sold over a million records internationally and will be performing as a band. DUB PISTOLS - 14th November London Based Dub Music, Hip Hop and Big Beat band Dub Pistols will be rolling into the Garage on the 14th November and after their triumphant gig at Bestival recently they sure to be firing on all cylinders. You don't want to miss them The Garage on Facebook - The Garage Music Venue and The Garage Live Music Venue Website - www.whitez.co.uk Phone - 01792 475147 Email - woodmangarage@hotmail.com

Advertise your live music here for just £35!! 07880 369545

LATE BAR & LIVE MUSIC VENUE

THE TERRACE

TOP FLOOR

- A FULL RANGE OF COCKTAILS - RESERVATIONS AVAILABLE - WAITRESS SERVICE PROVIDED - JAZZ, FUNK GROOVE ACTS ON THE WEEKEND

OPEN 3pm

- 3am

1ST FLOOR

THE POOL HALL FREE JUKE BOX SKY SPORTS DRINKS DEALS TOURNAMENTS EVERY TUESDAY -

OPEN 12pm

THE GARAGE SWANSEA’S BEST LIVE MUSIC VENUE

- 3am GROUND FLOOR

OCTOBER

10TH - THE MOUSE OUTFIT plus TRIPLE DOT BEAST 12TH - CURVED AIR plus SENDELICA 19th - KEN MODE & HARK 24th - 27th - DO NOT GO GENTLE FESTIVAL 2014 30th - JO HARMAN plus MARK PONTIN GROUP

NOVEMBER

1st - DIZRAELI AND THE SMALL GODS 2nd - OZRIC TENTACLES 7th - TURIN BRAKES plus HEAVY FLAMES 12th - BARRENCE WHITFIELD AND THE SAVAGES 14th - DUB PISTOLS plus THREE KINGS HIGH 21st - SHOOGLENIFTY plus RAG FOUNDATION

47 Uplands Crescent

Swansea, South Wales 01792 475147 woodmangarage@hotmail.com

WWW.WHITEZ.CO.UK

A Mu�ic��?????

It isn’t every day that I go and see a musical comedy about the miners strike and I was curious to see who would be there:. Who goes to musicals? I haven’t been to a ‘show’ in over ten years and that was Moulin Rouge in Paris! But a lot of people go by the look of it: I was genuinely surprised at how busy the place was and incredibly impressed with how varied the audience were. There were a large group of youngsters there as well as people who would have already been retired during the miners strike. Otherwise known as death dodgers or old people! I felt quite embarrassed really that all these people seemed to be doing more with their lives than I am. I was forced here with work but these people actually elected to leave their television sets and get out the house! I missed Europa league football for this, which lets face it; I have absolutely no interest in! I felt that an experience awaited. The show was a part of the ‘Miners Strike Season’ in the Welfare Ystradgynlais and the whole show followed three sisters and their trials and tribulations during this time. Looking at how it affected them directly and in passing through their ‘other halfs’. I’m far from an expert but I like to think that ‘art’ is thinking outside the box, looking at the obvious but from a different angle and this was exactly that. Seeing the miners strike through the women’s eyes was really different and enlightening (good word that one). It got my mind thinking throughout, if you ever needed reminding of how corrupt this country was (is) then this helped. It also helped remind me of my views on Thatcher: An Elvis Costello song springs to mind! In reality, I think this may have been a part of the idea of the show, ‘Unite

the Unions’ seemed to have something to do with the show: somewhere: somehow. The three sisters had brilliant voices, all three very different and yet harmonious together and were clearly very talented actresses. It was seriously engrossing at times but it was exactly what it said on the tin: a comedy! There were numerous ‘laugh out loud’ moments both in song lyrics and in acting. There are some clever buggers on this planet of ours and all four of the cast (one on piano) were amazing. The show finished with a standing ovation by young and old and it was seriously merited (I don’t think they do that after every show do they?) I have been up the Swansea valley to the Welfare Ystradgynlais on a few occasions in the past: a few beer festivals back in the day but I don’t think I ever appreciated the venue until this event. The place seems really geared up for sound and lighting. I have been to a few venues locally which seem to struggle to get that right but they were bang on the ball here and it was quite clear that the cast appreciated it after the show as well. It was also really nice being able to sit down in a decent seat with a good beer and then to be given a half time to get another one! I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. I would watch it again tonight, it was that good. It was genuinely a privilege to be there and everyone who wasn’t missed out! It was a new experience for but I see no reason why I wont give a musical another go. I’m not too sure how often musical comedies about the miners strike come round so I might have to carefully choose another one.

Live Oct - Nov

A Theatre Iolo production: Dylan Thomas’s unﬁnished novel is given a new lease of life by acclaimed writer Lucy Gough

Frank Vickery’s latest production about Howard & his mum Vi, who just can’t let go

An original comedy drama about the residents of Cwmploddy Village

A tender & playful tale of belonging & friendship by Sherman Cymru in association with Theatr Genedlaethol Cymru

Join Santa & his friends in this fun ﬁlled family musical production by The People’s Theatre Company

Three of Europe’s ﬁnest acoustic Guitarists collaborate in an exciting celebration of their Celtic roots

liveartshow & the Wales Millenium Centre presents a funny & touching musical story about the perils of growing old together

F��b�� P�et�!

"There's only one Emile Heskey, one Emile Heskey. He used to be sh**e, but now he's all right, Walking in a Heskey wonderland" Kick off in style with those wonderland chants, and one sung back in the day from Birmingham City fans about Emile Heskey after his return to form.

"Who let the frogs out, who? who? who? who?" Sung by Leicester City fans to the tune of 'Who Let the Dogs Out' by the Baha Men, as they welcomed Arsene Wenger's Arsenal team to the pitch. "Park, Park, wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your home country! But it could be worse, you could be scouse, eating rats in a council house!"

"He's here, he's there, he wears no underwear, Lee Bowyer, Lee Bowyer."

A tune you can hear any time Manchester United play Liverpool and obviously, eating dogs is better than eating rats, because everyone of course has a tried a bit of both once before in their life...

This funny one was sung by Leeds United fans after the former Leeds man admitted he sometimes goes commando. "Fat Eddie Murphy, you're just a fat Eddie Murphy."

"When you're sat in row Z, and the ball hits your head, that's Zamora, that's Zamora."

This was from the Newcastle United fans, taking aim at Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink back in his Chelsea days "He's red, he's sound, he's banned from every ground, Carra's dad, Carra's dad."

Sung to the tune of 'That's Amore' by Frank Sinatra, Fulham fans really know how to show their appreciation for striker Bobby Zamora. Eclectic Dabblers qtr portrait.ai 1 13/10/2014 12:41:50

Sung by the Kopites at Liverpool, honouring defender Jamie Carragher's father, who was once arrested at a match for being drunk. "Don't blame it on the Biscan, don't blame it on the Hamann, don't blame it on the Finnan, blame it on Traore. He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet." Sung by Liverpool fans to the tune of 'Blame it on the C Boogie' by the Jackson 5, after Djimi 'Wobbly Legs' Traore M scored an own goal against Burnley in the FA Cup. Y

"There's only one Carlton Palmer, and he smokes marijuana. He's six foot tall and his head's too small,CM Livin'in a Palmer wonderland!" MY Stockport County fans got behind their manager and gave him their full support back in 2002.

CMY

"He's fat, he's round, he's sold your f**king ground, Al K Fayed, Al Fayed..." This can be heard at almost any match at Fulham's Craven Cottage, sung by the away fans "Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams." Such sympathy from various away fans at Ibrox back in the day, when Rangers goalkeeper Andy Goram had been diagnosed with a mild form of schizophrenia.

Their New EP

AVAILABLE NOW TO DOWNLOAD AT http://theeclecticdabblers.bandcamp.com/ Also Available from

@ the R E M SUM

PINK Geranium Pontardawe

The Pink Geranium ThePink Pink Geranium The Geranium The Pink Geranium Herbert Street, , Pontarda Herbert Street, Pontardawe Herbert Street, , , Pontardawe Herbert Street, , Pontardawe , stst2014 Friday yy October 2014 Friday October Friday yy October 2014 Friday October 3131stst31312014

live music from live music from live music from live music from

fancy dress fancy dress fancy dress fancy dress 1st prize 1st prize prize 1st1st prize

LIVE BOXING • RUGBY RUGBY ••FOOTBALL FOOTBALL LIVE BOXING FOOTBALL Singles Disco LIVE BOXING RUGBY ••FOOTBALL LIVE BOXING •• •RUGBY Every Day November 8pm Every Day Thursday 6th Every Day Every Day Bed &from Bed &Breakfast Breakfast Bed & Breakfast 4pm -7pm 7pm live music Bed & Breakfast 4pm 4pm 7pm 4pm 7pm Drinks Offers On The Night! £2.50 PINT! from £35 per night £2.50 AAPINT! from £35 per night £2.50 APINT! PINT! from £35 per night £2.50 A from £35 per night fancy dress Grolsch Grolsch £2.20 A PINT! Grolsch £2.20 A PINT! £2.20 A PINT!

The Pink Geranium The Pink Geranium Herbert Street, , Pontardaw ThePink Pink Geranium HerbertGeranium Street, , Pontardawe The Grolsch £2.20 A PINT!

1st prize

OCTOBER FRIDAY 17TH ACCUMAN SATURDAY 18TH EXPECTING COMPANY SUNDERDAY 19TH 5PM GENERATION GAP FRIDAY 24TH TBA SATURDAY 25TH UPRISING FRIDAY 31ST SUNSHINE CAB

Herbert Street, , Pontardawe Herbert Street, , Pontardawe

nOVEMBER SATURDAY 1ST THE SMYTHYEARS FRIDAY 7TH RHYTHEM JUMPERS SATURDAY 8TH PEEP SHOW live music from SUNDAY 9TH THE SHAKES live music from music from FRIDAY 14TH SPIT FIRE livelive music from SATURDAY 15TH BROTHEL CREEPERS SUNDAY 16TH SUPERHAMS

st 2014 st312014 Friday y October st Friday y October 31 y October 2014 EveryFriday DayFriday y October 31st312014

Bed & Breakfast £2.50 A PINT! • RUGBY from £35 per night LIVE BOXING • FOOTBALL LIVE BOXING • RUGBY • FOOTBALL LIVE BOXING • RUGBY • FOOTBALL LIVE BOXING • RUGBY • FOOTBALL

fancy dress fancy dress fancy dress fancy dress prize 1st 1st prize 1st prize 1st prize

4pm - 7pm

Grolsch £2.20 A PINT! Every Every Day Every DayDay

Every Day 4pm 7pm 4pm --7pm 4pm 7pm 4pm --7pm

£2.50 PINT! £2.50 AAPINT! £2.50 PINT! £2.50 AAPINT! Grolsch £2.20 PINT! Grolsch £2.20 AA PINT! Grolsch£2.20 £2.20A A PINT! PINT! Grolsch

Bed &Breakfast Breakfast Bed & Bed Breakfast Bed &&Breakfast from £35 per night from £35 per night from £35 per night from £35 per night

Ja�� Sw�� T��e�

The term ‘save it for a rainy day’ was exactly what I thought about Dynamic Rock and reviewing it. It made sense to do any out door reviews over our insanely good summer but I was on the phone to the climbing centre the minute the thunder storms started. In truth, it wasn’t something which I was majorly excited about trying which is probably why it was also put in the ‘rainy day’ category. I booked myself onto a taster session, which is an hour and a half introduction to climbing. I get there, change into some shorts as jeans seemed a foolish idea and I don’t own a pair of tracksuit trousers anymore. Is that an age thing or does it just show my lifestyle? Dynamic Rock is in Clydach and in an old building which I think was a market or something like that (Not Clydach market as in the big one!), I knew it had been there for some time but had only recently realised that it dropped down: allowing high walls. If not it would be pretty useless and you could jump to the top! So we get taken downstairs by our instructor and onto

some small walls with a nice soft floor. No messing about. No in-depth talk about how things work or what-not. I didn’t learn the names of safety things which I will never use again, this was a good start: There is a wall, climb it! And I did, I think it was very much like with the tiny zip wire in GoApe last issue in as much as it made you braver. The little walls were okay. I shot up the wall in about thirty seconds and thought that this is pretty boring before being show that I was only supposed to use one colour. Each ‘foot hole’ is coloured and so you could chose a colour and only climb the wall using that coloured holes. It made it more challenging but I really wanted to get onto the real walls and we were on them in no time. Real walls meant harnesses and rope and no soft floor. I got asked my next of kin filling in the form on arrival, in case of ‘emergencies’: always nice that! We get shown how to do a figure 8 knot but the instructor understood that I had no interest in knowing this and it was quicker and easier for him just to do it himself every time: and he agreed. The first wall was pretty comfortable really as it was gently sloped. Gravity was on our side and there were loads of lovely things to

£300 for up to 15 Players for 90 minutes Birthday Parties Stag Do Charity Days Corporate Days

Visit: www.bubble-football.co.uk / Call: 07435 441693

introduction with two others and was always in the middle, one going before me and one after. The guy was before me had also managed to get up every wa without too much of a problem. He shot up this wall he had the others but then gave up three quarters o way up. I really couldn’t work out why; he simply said he’d had enough.

PER PERSON*

I was quite bemused a why he didn’t go on an start to go up it myself was more difficult than others but I managed t to where he was and I basically reached the t could see the top; I cou see exactly how to get there, what arm went where and what foot w where: it was clear but arms were finished. Th were completely done lactic acid pouring into them. I waited and I wa and I waited some mor am within touching distance of the top. I th that I can manage one quick move, bang, ban bang and I’m there, tou the top, if I fall then wh cares?

We do a few more walls that gradually get more difficult. The gradient becomes less kind, the rocks to grab onto become smoother, more slippery and sparser and we start choosing certain colours on each wall which adds to how tricky it was. They did become challenging but I managed okay, 100% record in getting up to the top. That was until the last one. I was taking the

% OFF

I get as far as one bang I’m off. My arms just couldn’t do it. They we absolutely ruined and

Margam Park, nr Swansea

Jack Swan Tries..

e. er One Tree Top Adventur Go Ape is the UK’s numb , res Wi Zip on and Take Discover your Inner Ape Offering an s. activity of Obstacles & Crossing ty rie va a d locally and want Jack Tarzan Swings an

Swan to come and try it, write about it and let thousands of readers know about it?

Book ator cagllo08a45p51e9 57.c03oqu.uotekJACKSW

GET IN TOUCH info@jackswan.co.uk ture only. Top Adven 01792 862129 Park Tree ber 2014, excluding Saturdays at Margam

*Offer valid until 30th Novem - please see the website. Participation and supervision ratios apply

Ja�� Sw�� T��e�

grab onto. I got to the top pretty quickly and comfortably in reality without it being too much of a challenge. So, I’m up the top and I just need to lean back and walk down the wall as I’m attached to a person below who is taking my weight. I must confess that I was an absolute coward at leaning back: An absolute wimp. And I never really felt comfortable doing it at any time. It just feels really un-natural. I have abseiled in the past and I don’t remember struggling with that but I really struggled with this. We do a few more walls that gradually get more difficult. The gradient becomes less kind, the rocks to grab onto become smoother, more slippery and sparser and we start choosing certain colours on each wall which adds to how tricky it was. They did become challenging but I managed okay, 100% record in getting up to the top. That was until the last one. I was taking the

introduction with two others and was always in the middle, one going before me and one after. The guy who was before me had also managed to get up every wall without too much of a problem. He shot up this wall like he had the others but then gave up three quarters of the way up. I really couldn’t work out why; he simply said that he’d had enough. I was quite bemused as to why he didn’t go on and I start to go up it myself. It was more difficult than the others but I managed to get to where he was and I had basically reached the top. I could see the top; I could see exactly how to get there, what arm went where and what foot went where: it was clear but my arms were finished. They were completely done in, lactic acid pouring into them. I waited and I waited and I waited some more, I am within touching distance of the top. I think that I can manage one quick move, bang, bang, bang and I’m there, touch the top, if I fall then who cares? I get as far as one bang and I’m off. My arms just couldn’t do it. They were absolutely ruined and I

Jack Swan Tries.... Offering an activity locally and want Jack Swan to come and try it, write about it and let thousands of readers know about it? GET IN TOUCH info@jackswan.co.uk 01792 862129

Ja�� Sw�� T��e� wall. The place was busy and not an ounce of fat in the room (present company excluded), it is clearly incredibly good fitness and really enjoyable at the same time. I would strongly recommend that you treat the autumn weather as an excuse to get yourself on an indoor climbing wall! I will let you into a little secret. I may have let one of the experienced climbers borrow the Jack Swan suit for the photos. Thanks to Dave Cale for that. Nobody tell my daughter though, she thinks I’m cool for that!

01792 845655 www.dynamicrock.co.uk could feel them tight for days. I instantly understood why he gave up, the body just packed in. I play a bit of golf now and then and in golf it is the good shots that make you come back. You forget the bad ones. All that live in the memory is that one good shot out of 131 awful ones and it is that memory which drags us back to that course. Well it is different here. I don’t remember reaching any summits, I don’t remember an easy start and the feeling of touching the top, all I remember is this bugger of a wall; This evil wall. But it is that wall which will bring me back and I promise you that I will conquer that wall. And I know full well that there will be a new wall as soon as I conquer this one and this new wall will be every bit as much of a bugger but that’s what I want. I am pretty sure that I have caught an addiction here. I absolutely loved it. I signed up to membership before leaving that evening and I have set a night aside every week to go there and I can actually see myself finding more time. There are different levelled walls and different challenges; I think it is similar to golf in as much as it is you against ‘the course’. I suppose that you can compete against others but in reality, it is me against the

F�o� , F�o� , F�o�

In��es��n� St�� T�i�!

into Russian territory.

However, all is not lost for Europe's space workers supply launches from the US in Dragon and Cygnus capsules are not affected, which means most space food for ESA astronauts no longer needs to fly on the Russian Citing officials from the European Space Agency, The Soyuz capsules which now supply the space station's Moscow Times says that a Russian ban on imports of food cosmonauts. from Europe means that some supplies being sent to astronauts working on the International Space Station After the demise of the US shuttle programme, Russia's (ISS) are banned from entering Russia. This means that Soyuz spacecraft are currently the main means of "extras" - such as sweets and dried fruit - sent by families delivering supplies to the ISS. Its current crew consists of to supplement the otherwise routine fare served on the a German and two Americans, and as well as three ISS, won't get through to the ESA astronauts on the space Russians. station. Food for astronauts has fallen foul of sanctions and counter-sanctions over the Ukraine crisis, it appears.

Since food for some supply flights to the ISS comes through Russia on the way to the Moscow-controlled launch centre in Kazakhstan, they are subject to the same ban that is keeping popular French cheeses off the shelves in Russian supermarkets. The ban on foods from the EU was introduced in retaliation to sanctions targeted at Russia and its leaders over its role in the conflict in eastern Ukraine, and the annexing of Crimea

Re�� m�n�� Sticky BBQ Sauce Ingredients: 2 Onions 1 Carrot 3 Garlic Bulbs 6 Sticks 1 Celery stalk 1 Barbecue Finely chop the Onions, carrots, Garlic, Celery and sticks and add to a pan with a little oil and heat gently until tender. Dismantle a barbecue and add to the mixture. Simmer over a low heat for 72 days. Stirring every 3 minutes. You will be left with the most remarkable sticky barbecue sauce. Next Issue: Cottage Pie.

Smiths Arms Llansamlet

Free Pool Monday Wicked Wednesday Jager Bombs £1 Cocktail Jugs £7 Pichers £10 Ladys Darts Thursday

Pool Table / Parking Function Room Drink Promotion £2.50 for selected pints Mon -Fri 12-8pm

Karaoke Sunday Live Entertainment on Weekend Plus Sarah. An Amazing Barmaid!!

Smiths Cafe

2 Meals for £10

Lunch 12-3 Evening meals 6-9

Sunday Lunches 12-4 Delivery available

Breakfast 8:30 - 12 Mon-Sat. Delivery Available!

Daily Specials

Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o�! and with the car with me, I opted for a good and reliable bass. When it came to food, I went for my usual: A monstrous mixed grill. It comes with everything and not just meat. Proper onion rings, home cooked chips, peas, a good salad – not just some lettuce leafs, coleslaw and two eggs. This along with 2 sausages, lamb chop, gammon, steak and black pudding: Not bad hey. Matty went for a lasagne as he always seems to do. We should maybe start ‘Mattys guide to the best lasagne in the city’, as I doubt there is any that he hasn’t tried. A friend of mine once worked in a chain pub that specialised in lasagnes and they had a busy day and ran out, so they sent her over to the super market to buy the cheapest lasagne there, cut it in half, poured some sexy cheese sauce over it and charged £12 for the privilege. That’s a true story; I thought I’d share that with you! Anyway, back to present day and the Kinds head. The grill was exactly how I remembered it in fairness. A

It has been a good few years since I ate at the Kings Head on Llangyfelach road, I used to work fairly close and would often pop in for a pub lunch. It generally resulted in me doing no work that afternoon as I always ordered the same thing which I could guarantee to leave me feeling comfortably full and lazy. I’d been thinking about that very meal the whole morning and I knew that I’d be ordering it again this time round. They must have been reading Jack Swan and wanted to put me in a good mood as I had two choices for my real ale. A bass and a Gower brewery ale. As much as I’d have liked to try the local ale, at over 5%

Liberty Restauraunt @ 01639 812117 WWW.JKSCLUB.CO.UK

SUNDAY LUNCHES 3 Course £10.50 1 course for £5.95 or two courses for £8.95

JK’s Club

FUNCTION ROOM & Sports Bar

Neath Road, Briton Ferry, SA11 2AX

Kids £4.50

With Drink & Ice Cream

Courses

£7.25 £8.50

Main Menu all £5.95 Steak & Ale Pie Chicken Curry Scampi Fish

Cumerland Sausage & Mash

Gammon Beef Lasagne Cottage Pie Chicken Melt

St GEORGE

30 Walters Rd, Swansea, SA1 5NN

01792 467362 - stgeorgehotel_swansea@hotmail.com

Food Served Everyday from 12noon to 5pm

SUNDAY CARVERY 12-4pm Friday: Karaoke From 8pm Saturday: Live Entertainment From 9pm

FREE WIFI

Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o�!

challenge to finish, a mixture of different flavours and clearly incredibly healthy with the salad and peas! But finish it I did and Matty bravely fought through his lasagne and said ‘Nice home made lasagne, could have done with a bit more, really enjoyed the home made chips: Will go again!’ And he’s a lasagne connoisseur. Mike the landlord looked at me mentally when we ordered a desert and I was far from hungry but I just fancied a desert to tell you all about. I’m quite bad like that. I can generally just eat and eat. I don’t snack much but I struggle to say no to good food and will generally find some room for it. Luckily, the older I get the more room there is!

I’m a sucker for treacle, a treacle pudding with custard keeps me happy and this one didn’t fail. I did struggle to finish it but succeeded bravely. It looked so good that I forgot to take a photo until half way through. They didn’t serve it half eaten! Don’t worry! Matty had a chocolate fudge cake (another girly one that isn’t it? – says the man eating treacle!) and ploughed through it with no words spoken. I have never seen the Kings Head quiet, which always says an awful lot about a place. It has its pricing bang on and has something for everyone. The mixed grill was £12 and you are talking a mountain of food. You can get two meals for less than that if you fancy doing anything with the rest of your day but I suggest that you spoil yourself, book the afternoon off and sit on the

GOLD AWARD SAUSAGE, GOLD AWARD BACON , GOLD AWARD GAMMON The Award Winning Butchers

O�DER ��W �OR �H��S��S

Always Many Offers Available from your 23 Awards in National Championship Multi-Award Winning Master Butcher True Taste Awards: Peoples Choice. Top Butchers in South Wales FREE LOCAL DELIVERIES EVERY FRIDAY 2nd Best Butchers in ALL of Wales 1st and 3rd in Royal Welsh Awards

PONTY BUTCHERS 71 Herbert Street, Pontardawe. Tel: 01792 863197

You’ve Tried The Rest, Now Try The Best

Abercrave Inn Accommodation ~ Restaurant ~ Fine Ales ~ Beer Garden

Enjoy Dinner, Bed & Breakfast for only

£85 Per Couple

Enjoy a 3 course dinner and full Welsh breakfast in our WTB 4* Inn. Inquire within for more details.

Christmas Lunchtime Menu 2 Course £9.95 • 3 Course £12.95

Christmas Evening Menu

2 Course £12.95 • 3 Course £15.95 *Parties of 8 or more must pre-order and pay £5 per head deposit

NEW YEARS EVE 4 COURSE DINNER & WELCOMING DRINKS £35 ...and of course our fabulous A La Carte Menu & Chef ’s Specials are available 7 Days A Week from 12 noon to 2.30pm and 6.00pm to 9.30pm Monday to Saturday, and from 6.00pm to 9.00pm on Sundays. Traditional Sunday lunch served 12noon to 3.00pm with a small selection of our a la carte also available.

Phil, Sue & Gareth Welcome You

Abercrave Inn, 145 Heol Tawe, Abercrave, Swansea, SA9 1XS

Tel: 01639 731002 • Fax: 01639 730796 www.abercraveinn.co.uk

Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o�!

sofa with a bursting belly full of meat! I don’t think that you will ever get a bad meal there, it is consistently good food. They know what they are doing, it is clearly a very well run pub and it has really good pub food. I shall be there again, hope to see you there!

WATCH WATCH THE THE FIREWORKS FIREWORKS DISPLAY DISPLAY AT AT THE THE KINGS KINGS HEAD HEAD

The Kings Head

JACK SWAN FOOD GUIDE:

Llangyfelach Road. 01792 773727

ADVERT HERE FROM £35

IN GET THEYOUR FOOD RESTAURANT OR DRINK PUB or CAFE INDUSTRY??

Breakfast served from 8 - 12 Mon - Sat

Traditional Sunday Roast 12 - 3

REVIEWED

Food Served All day

GET IN IN TOUCH GET TOUCH

INFO@JACKSWAN.CO.UK 01792 862129

or £5.50 each menu

CMY

2 for £10

Extensive

(Real Chips)

Childrens Play Area - Quality Cask Ales Function Room Available Extensive Car Park Facilities

14 0 2 r u O g n i t a R e n e i g y H d o Fo is y r a l p m e x E

Cooking Times:

Tue - Fri: 12.00 - 2.30pm + 5.30pm - 9.00pm Saturday: 12.00pm - 9.00pm Sunday: 12.00pm to 4.00pm

01792 832111

E: ynysmeudwyarms@live.co.uk

Ye� C�e�

Introducing a new feature here, we are going to speak with different chefs across the city and see what they have to say. To start us off, I met up with Ian Wing who is head chef at La Braseria How long have you been a chef? A chef? Oh god, umm…. When I left school in 1977, so how many years is that? Too many! So where have you been? I joined the royal navy as a chef. I did nearly 5 years there, left to work in a bakery and then left to go to Swansea university and then here. How long have you been here? Well this place has been open now over twenty years and I came here a year and a half after that. As head chef then? No, there were no chef vacancies open then so I worked taking orders for a while and then a vacancy came up and I stepped up. Is Gordon Ramsey a stereotypical chef? Is this going to get me in trouble now? All chefs can be a bit dramatic and a bit of a pre-madona at times. It is a

very stressful job, it is a way of venting pressure and there is a lot of pressure in the job: Especially when you work here and the numbers that we do. Is he stereotypical? I’ll say no comment. If you could cook for anyone, who would it be? Do you know what, we have had a fair few celebrities in here in the past and I’m not awed by them at all. I have never really thought about it, I don’t know to be honest. What is your signature dish? I don’t have one but one of the restaurants here is the sea bass in rock salt which actually featured in Rick Steins book. He ate here once and we had a mention in one of his sea food books. What is the one ingredient that you couldn’t live without? Personally, rice or pasta. And meat, any meat really. Why do chefs put mushrooms in everything? I don’t know. Is this some kind of survey that you are doing? I just hate mushrooms! I love mushrooms, absolutely love them. We only have

5 Years Old and Still Growing Strong

one mushroom dish, two actually but that is it.

Well, here

I will enjoy it here then. If I’m eating a big breakfast that costs me £3. What is in my sausage?

I like my steak blue, how long would you cook it for

Our fifth year here at Cwmtwrch and things really couldn’t be better. It just so happens that What steak? we decided we’ d make it our hardest year yet by opening another restaurant in Mountain what is in your sausage? Well it should be pork. When A 12 oz sirloin Ash! they label it as a sausage, it has to have a minimum amount of meat in it. I don’t know what the regulations The George (Mk II) opened it’s doors in July and hasBecause proved to be are though. of the wayjust we do things here, we serve the foo on cast ironwe plates which are very hot and continue to the ticket for the Cynon Valley. So much so, in fact, that found What is the most that you would pay for a starter? cook the food and so we always undercook the steaks ourselves a little overwhelmed and we had a few teething anyway. Soproblems a blue steak, I would just mark one side so with getting the right staff trained up and in placemaybe (thankfully, Five pound. a minute at the the most, if it is a thick steak. I woul just mark one side and food never suffered and customers have enjoyed the same superbthen let the plat cook the other Does presentation really matter? side. quality up there as down here). We’d like to thank all of our Cynon of course it does you patience and understanding while we ran ValleyYescustomers for as their eat with your eyes first so the operation through the gears to full speed. All that seems to be you have to make the effort behind us now and can move forward with confidence. to make it look nicewe before its brought to the table, Back in Cwmtwrch, and we are pleased to announce that we go into our 5th season with yet another 5 Star Hygiene Rating. It’s PotChristmas noodle, microwave discount meal or chicken so gratifying to see this recognition, as it’s a testament to the curry in a tin, which one dedication and hard work will make me go to the of all of our staff here at The George. toilet first?

haha, chicken curry in a tin. Apart from here, where is the best place to eat in Swansea? Well I will have to say our sister restaurant La Parilla Apart from that?

Rob, Jayne and family

Ye� C�e�

one mushroom dish, two actually but that is it.

Well, here

I will enjoy it here then. If I’m eating a big breakfast that costs me £3. What is in my sausage?

I like my steak blue, how long would you cook it for?

what is in your sausage? Well it should be pork. When they label it as a sausage, it has to have a minimum amount of meat in it. I don’t know what the regulations are though. What is the most that you would pay for a starter? Five pound. Does presentation really matter?

What steak? A 12 oz sirloin Because of the way we do things here, we serve the food on cast iron plates which are very hot and continue to cook the food and so we always undercook the steaks anyway. So a blue steak, I would just mark one side so maybe a minute at the most, if it is a thick steak. I would just mark one side and then let the plat cook the other side.

Yes of course it does as you eat with your eyes first so you have to make the effort to make it look nice before its brought to the table, Pot noodle, microwave discount meal or chicken curry in a tin, which one will make me go to the toilet first? haha, chicken curry in a tin. Apart from here, where is the best place to eat in Swansea? Well I will have to say our sister restaurant La Parilla Apart from that?

As well as 5,000 copies printed and delivered from Mumbles to Abercrave and Britton Ferry to Gowerton. Our online magazine is viewed the world over! www.jackswan.co.uk

10% OFF ALL FOOD LISTED BELOW WHEN YOU QUOTE ‘JACK24’ Simply Great Food at Great Prices with Stunning views Open all day Wednesday till Sunday

Beer Ba

ttered C

Steak &

£4.45

tail Sca

.95

oms £3

mpi £5

.95

ushro Garlic M

t £4.95 Stuffed

itebai led Wh

Devil

ammon

od £4.

ings uffalo W

Whole

8 oz G

Jalapeñ

Ale Pie

£6.95

£5.95

ts e Faggo d a m e m

£4.95

o pepp

ers £3.

.95 kka £4 i T n e k Chic 95

Call: 01792 863118

Cefn Llan Rd, Pontardawe, Swansea SA8 4SH

F�o� Fact�

Great Food?

CHECK OUT OUR NEW MENU! Serving informal delicious food all day Our menu is guaranteed to have something to suit your tastebuds.

Altamar Apartments, Kings Road, Swansea SA1 8PP 01792 457000 www.garboscafebar.co.uk

Fine wine?

WE HAVE QUITE THE SELECTION. White, Red, Rose or Bubbly? We’ve got your taste covered

RELAX!

WITH AN EVENING AT GARBO

What’s on?

LIVE MUSIC & ENTERTAINMENT Every weekend Garbo’s play host to some of the finest live entertainment Swansea has to offer.

92 T�� Se��e� B�e�kfas�e�� As a new feature for our beloved jack swan magazine, I’ve taken it upon myself to compile a league table of the best breakfasts I have enjoyed over the last year. I work all over south west Wales and am up at 5oclock so come half 9 I’m usually in the mood for a breakfast. Just to start off with I’ve chosen 5 places that have been rated on quality, price and location. Each month the league table will be updated and 1 new review will be carried out every edition.# As it stands at the moment

Position 1st 2nd 3rd 4th 5th

Café the Penny Black, Burry Port The Skyline Café, Glyncorrwg Mountain Bike Centre Tambinis Express Café Tollgate, Port Talbot Café on the roundabout Ystalyfera Fairdeal Café, Llansamlet Enterprise Park 20/30

Score out of 30 25.5 24 21 20.5 20

1st review: The Skyline Café I was recently working up in the Afan Valley on a wet and cold day, looking around to find somewhere to get Wifi and a possible warm drink and I stumbled across this small and well hidden gem. Located at the mountain bike and fishing pond centre in Glyncorrwg, this picturesque cafe didn’t disappoint from the off. Once inside and upstairs (disabled access available) the café is bright and airy with a fantastic view of the surrounding countryside. I opted for the full breakfast which consisted of; a good sized thick bacon, 2 sausages, fried egg, chunky cut farmhouse bread, fried mushrooms, black pudding , beans, grilled tomato and cup of coffee. The meal was served quickly by a very polite lady and was cooked to perfection for my taste. The only downside was that, like 95% of the cafés I visit, they served a run of the mill sausage. Surely it is better just to spend the extra few pennies and serve a good, quality, meaty butchers sausage. All said and done this rates 2nd on my list and is well worth a visit and at a reasonable price of £6.20 for a hearty breakfast and coffee. Location 9/10 Quality 8/10 Value 7/10

24 � 30 � ot T

�A�K ��N �S W�LC�ME HERE!!

EATS FOOD!

LOOK OUT FOR THIS POSTER WHERE YOU EAT!!!!

WE ARE SO CONFIDENT THAT OUR FOOD IS ALWAYS AT THE HIGHEST STANDARD THAT WE CHALLENGE JACK SWAN TO COME HERE ANYTIME AND REVIEW OUR FOOD!!!

P�� f�� Kid�

It is a fact that all good people were playing pool in pubs before the age of 4. Here I will give a monthly guide to help you be the best possible parents and take the kids to the right pub! I will look at two pubs each issue. Starting with:-

Bryncoch

Quality of Food: Quality of Childs Entertainment Quality of Adults Entertainment Value for money Beer

7 8 4 5 8

Total 32/50

The best kids outside entertainment by a pub that I have seen in the area. It is a proper park, even with a football goal. The food is good but a bit pricy for a simple stop with the kids; a set lunchtime deal would be nice although good kids meals. A few real ales on tap and well kept. More restaurant than pub, good evening meals without the kids!

Ystalyfera

Quality of Food: Quality of Childs Entertainment Quality of Adults Entertainment Value for money Beer

7.5 7 8.5 9 7

Total 39/50

Really good place to stop for a pub lunch with the kids. Outside kids entertainment makes it good on a sunny day, got one of those plastic tree play things which all pubs should have in a safe enclosed area. Pool table for a rainy day. Child friendly. Sky sports throughout, including outside under shelter. No real ale on tap but bottled Thomas Watkins. Food is really good value for money. Very good pub food at low pub prices.

FLAMES KEBABS BURGERS FRIED CHICKEN PIZZAS

NO.1 KEBAB HOUSE IN PONTARDAWE

HALF PRICE PIZZA’s on MONDAYS, TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY

HOME DELIVERY

£1.00 delivery charge within 3 mile radius. Over 3 miles £1.50 Delivery charge Minimum delivery £9.00

01792 830101

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK, INCLUDING BANK HOLIDAYS. 21 HIGH STREET, PONTARDAWE, SWANSEA, SA8 4HU

96 P��n�-�es� P��n��n�! We have all been there, (well those of us with kids) the football is on TV and we don’t get to watch hardly any of it as we are too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos Childminding to try and come up with a solution. “Just a couple of ideas to keep the children busy while The Swans are on TV. You know something that does not need any input from the ‘Responsible adult,’” is what was asked of me. This I assure you is no mean feat. There are different ages and abilities to take into consideration, time constraints and cost. Baring this in mind I took a quick straw poll with my children ( 13,6,5 and 2) and husband (41), locking them away in a cupboard is not an option, apparently!!! We came up with a couple of ideas and I have tried to incorporate them all into one. Den Building with a twist Everyone loves to build a den. It can be done indoors or outdoors and does not need to cost ANY money. Depending on the age of your child, this can be done in advance of the match, (or during) by your children. All you will need is blankets/duvets, pillows, chairs maybe some string or rope if feeling adventurous and a bit of imagination. If you are building in advance, you can include your children by asking them to furnish it with the pillows and cuddly toys. If you introduce a torch to the den (this is the twist), the children will have fun making shadow puppets with their hands, telling spooky stories or just shining the light. Get them to take books inside to read or make up stories with. You could even make up a little picnic so they don’t even have to ask for food!! My children like to take in teddies and other soft toys so that they can make up plays etc. They could practice a show and then invite you to watch it after the match. Den building can be as easy or complex as you want and can be made appropriate for any age. Google den images for some inspirational ideas. Why not email in your den photos for next months issue?

Checklist o o o o

Sheets blankets, duvet Pillows, cushions Chairs, settee String, safety pins or similar to type things

Optional o o o o

Cuddly toys Torch Books Snacks By Munchkinos Childminding.

2 Meals for2£10Meals for £10

Halloween Party 31st October 8PM

Disco & Karaoke Raffle & Games

Mon-Fri 12pm-2:30pm Mon-Fri 12pm-2:30pm Lasagne Lasagne Beef & Ale Pie B e f & Al e P i e Ponty Ham & Eggs P o n t y Ha m & E g s All Day Brunch Al l D a y B r u n c h Cheese & Onion Rissoles

& rs s rge og Bu Hotd

P Fa rize nc Be y D st res s

01792 863310

FREE FIREWORKS DISPLAY 5th NOVEMBER

2 Meals for £10

Mon-Fri 12pm-2:30pm Lasagne Beef & Ale Pie Ponty Ham & Eggs All Day Brunch Cheese & Onion Rissoles 6oz Gammon Beef or Chicken Curry Deep Fried Scampi Chilli Con Carne

Free Parking Free Private Function Room Riverside Terrace Free Wi-Fi Dog Friendly Disabled Access

Happy Hour 3-7 On All Pints Or Doubles

Jacket Potatoes

Children Menu Just £2.50 Full Grill Menu

Vegetarian Options

Quiz Night Every Other Tuesday

Acoustic Night Wednesday

Entertainment Every Sunday 6:30 - 8:30

Qďż˝ďż˝ďż˝ Jaďż˝ďż˝ Swďż˝ďż˝

98 Builder

Garden Maintenance

isher

oberts

Garden Clearence & Maintenance

Building Contractors

No Job Too Small

DÄ&#x17E;ĹľÄ?Ä&#x17E;Ć&#x152; Ĺ˝Ä¨ Ć&#x161;Ĺ&#x161;Ä&#x17E; &Ä&#x17E;Ä&#x161;Ä&#x17E;Ć&#x152;Ä&#x201A;Ć&#x;Ĺ˝Ĺś Ĺ˝Ä¨ DÄ&#x201A;Ć?Ć&#x161;Ä&#x17E;Ć&#x152; ĆľĹ?ĹŻÄ&#x161;Ä&#x17E;Ć&#x152;Ć?

Â&#x2021; 6SHFLDOLVWV LQ 6LQJOH 'RXEOH ([WHQVLRQV Â&#x2021; *DUDJH /RIW &RQYHUVLRQV Â&#x2021; &RQVHUYDWRULHV Â&#x2021; )LEUH *ODVV 5RRILQJ Â&#x2021; VW &ODVV 3ODVWHULQJ 7HDP

Â&#x2021; www.fisherandroberts.co.uk

Cleaning

Lawn Cutting / Bedding / Turfing Planting / Hedge Trimming 07842 831741

Painter

J.V.Davies Painters & Decorators Ltd

0845 678 9972

EST 1987

Email: info@dnagroupservices.co.uk

Cockett, Swansea, SA2 0GB

Tel: 01792 205483 Fax: 01792 298425 Mob: 07885 653488

www.dnagroupservices.co.uk

Drains

Plumber Dragon Drains 24hr Emergency Call Out NO CHARGE

01792 561522 / 07888 071570 07976 551913 / 07875 990965

Rodding Jetting Insurance Claims CCTC Groundowork/Pipe Laying Jet Washing

Covering All Aspects of Plumbing Fully Insured Free Estimates

Fires Boilers Installations Breakdowns & Repairs Landlord Safety Full Bathroom Refurbishment including Tiling

PJ PlumbingFriendly & Reliable Service

All Work Fully Guarenteed

01639 841873 / 07894 744626 pauliegasman@yahoo.co.uk

Fencing

Roofer

West Glamorgan Fencing

M.S.Harry .

Tiling Slating Fibre Glass & Building Works

Tel: 07964 711354 Come on the Swans!!!!!

WITH OVER 350 OUTLETS AND 5,000 COPIES EACH ISSUE, YOU ARE NEVER FAR FROM A JACK SWAN MAGAZINE GO TO WWW.JACKSWAN.CO.UK TO FIND YOUR NEAREST OUTLET

Composite Doors fitted from

French Doors Fitted from

per month

£31.95

Back Doors Fitted from

per month

£16.67

8 Windows & 2 Doors fully fitted from

per month

£138.89

Conservatories fully fitted inc a free upgrade to a glass roof from

£388.89

per month amazing!

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

per month

£30.56

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week

3 YEARS INTEREST FREE

www.mpnwindows.com

01792 359244

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ ble *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available