Issue 47

Issue #47 FREE

Do You Want The Money Yet? No Burning Flag?

TV Aerial & Satellite Services

C

25 Years Experience

Local Installer

M

Y

M

MY

Y

MY

K

Installation, Maintenance and Repair to Aerials & Digital Satellites Free Quotations on New Aerials

Affordable, Honest, Trustworthy and Reliable Pontardawe Clydach etc.

Neath/Port Talbot & Ystrad etc.

Amman Valley

www. tvaerialand satelliteservices.co.uk The Best Supplier Of Electronic Cigarettes And E-liquids Hot And Cold Beverages Available 62 NEW ROAD, SKEWEN, SA10 6HA FREE PARKING AT REAR OF SHOP

01792 736424

Where all the best vapours hang out

C�n��nt� 4: 6: 8: 12: 14: 16: 18: 22: 32: 34: 36: 38: 40: 42: 44: 50: 54: 56: 58:

Editorial Race to Player of the Year Tates Tales What The Fans Think Jokes By Spense Take the Money What fans think 2 Swans Eleven History Quiz Vital Information Mind Puzzles Fantasy Football The Top 2 Inches Picture Quiz Jokes By Spense Mel’s Memories Pictures Of The Month Name the Car More From Spense

64: 66: 70: 72: 76:

Jack Sounds Gig Review Album Review Non Gig Review The Last Word

79: 94: 96: 98:

Jack Swan Awards Swaning Around The Universe Parentless Parenting Quiz Answers

56

18

79

4

E�it��i��

It has been a pretty crazy month hasn’t it!

Safety is now secure, we have reached that magic 40 points mark! Personally, I think 36 will be enough but then I thought that Monk would manage us for decades to come and we all know where that got me!

Talking managers, things are a bit weird at the moment aren’t they! We have a manager in place that on paper has done a remarkable job, he’s taken us from being in a serious relegation scrap to looking a pretty safe mid-table bet! But nobody wants him to stay around!

He will leave (I’m pretty sure) this summer and he will head home with a huge amount of pride and thanks from all of us. He will be our Winston Churchill, he will be remembered fondly, he was great for the fight but we all seem to want someone else to do the rebuilding!

Names are being thrown around, Wales online has the daily ‘click here!!’ bulleting on facebook which inevitably gets us excited about something or someone but everything has been thrown right up in the air with the potential of new owners and the American investment.

I’m not one for paper talk really, generally I like to wait and see what happens but it is hard not to get curious and have a little guess at what our future holds. I saw a £30 million transfer kitty being mentioned as though it was some kind of war chest!

G T� e� u I� ��

Surely that is the bare minimum of any Premier League team next year before any outside investment is added! I don’t know, I think I may go back to waiting and seeing because I don’t tend to be that good at guessing!

Things are looking really good for the club on the pitch once again though. All of a sudden there are a few real sparks amongst the squad and we should be able to improve over the coming months and there is no reason why we shouldn’t expect a good campaign next season.

What is a good campaign though? Did we have one this year? Safety in the top flight! What is our goal? How much do we want to push? Is this what we need outsiders for?

I say ‘outsiders’ in a ‘League of Gentlemen’ way because we are locals, this is a local club for local people! We will have no riff raff here! The club may well be about to change beyond recognition, it could be that we have massive investment, a new stadium, Brazilian playing staff and a Chilean coach!

It may be like building a Tesco in Royston Vasey (or Banwen), in many ways it is probably needed, it is called progress in some camps but there will be no turning back once it is done!

It is a bit like starting the Jack Swan awards! The genie is out of the bottle now. Pictures and results are towards the back of the magazine, it was an unbelievable night, massive thanks to all that came and all of you who voted and had anything to do with it!

This issue is the best that we have put together. In fact, it is the best magazine that anyone has ever put together, don’t take my word on it; keep reading, you will enjoy!

w��.ja�k�w�� .c�.�� 01792 862129 07�80 369545 �nf�@ja�k�w�� .c�.��

THE OTHER PLACE 9 YNYSDERW RD, PONTARDAWE, SA8 4EG

Multiple Screens & Multiple Sporting Events

Pool & Darts Function Room available for private hire All enquiries to The Other

Place - 01792 862999

FREE WIFI

Beer Promotion Monday to Friday 3pm - 7pm Selected draught beers only!

Watch the Swans Here on Sky Sports & BT Sport

Gigs April Saturday 16th @9pm Lost Frequency Sunday 17th @ 4pm Johnny Seven Saturday 23rd @ 9pm This River Sunday 24th @ 4pm Alamo Saturday 30th @ 9pm Crimson Tide

6

Race to Player of the Year

These are the top three as it stands for the race to be Jack Swan player of the year!

1st Siggy He is in danger of finishing the season too well, I think there may be people sniffing around our Icelandic goal scorer. Whether he would go is hard to know, he’s obviously had some times in his career where he sat on the bench, he watched Eriksen a lot when at Spurs and he didn’t have a great time out in Germany either but I expect that he will have some interest over the Summer. He’s bloody good isn’t he! There are few better finishers, quality with either foot and his attitude is exactly what you want in a footballer! This time last year we seemed to build our side around Jonjo, well assuming that he stays, we have to look at how we can continue to get the very best out of our very best player! He should be an example to everyone, his work rate is immense and he quietly gets on with his job. A few months back, I wrote here that we will learn who you’d want in the trenches with you during this relegation scrap; I want Siggy!!!

2nd Ash Chris Coleman will be delighted that his captain is back to his very best right in time for his trip to France and it has been timely for us in our quest for forty points too. There isn’t really anything that I can say about him which I haven’t thirty times already but he’s a rock. You often hear about a focal point of an attack but Ash is that to our defence; it is all about him. When he is playing well, we keep clean sheets, when he isn’t then we ship goals with a seriously worrying regularity. His form at the start of this campaign and over the last couple of months have been superb and it os over this time that we have amassed basically all our points. I say it this time every year but he has to stay over the Summer. If he and Siggy stay, keep fit and on form then we survive next year; it is pretty much that simple.

3rd Leon If Leon isn’t starting the first game of next season then we have employed a dumpty of a manager!! (Either that or Leons injured) I don’t understand why he has to continually prove himself, it is weird. It is probably the biggest stain on Monks managerial time with us (even more so than the fat French full back) the fact that he didn’t realise the importance of the greatest player to play for this club. Football is a lot easier when you have the ball and any team will have the ball a lot more when this man is in their side. A wonderful footballer, a selfless footballer, a unique footballer and one who has many, many more great games and years left in him in a Swansea shirt!

The Village Inn

5/6 Swan Court - Precinct - Killay

PIZZAKILLAY

Homemade dough Takeaway or eat in 01792 203311

Camra Pub of the Year 2012

Cosy atmosphere, Real Ales, fresh ground coffee, homemade food : between traditional and inspiration.

Sunday Lunch At the Restaurant 12-3pm

Homemade 3/2 course (£12.50 /£11.95)

Sky, Swansea Games, free WIFI, theme Booking Advisable evenings, live music, Quiz night on Tuesday 01792 203311 and Sunday

Deal of Month

Free 9” pizza when you buy a 12”

South Wales Leading Fencing Suppliers & Installer

Fencing Decking Panels & Trellis Security Fencing Gates Sheds Turf & Top Soil Decorative Agregates Old & New Sleepers Plus Much More INSTALLATION SERVICE AVAILABLE Deal of Month

Call Today

01792 896 540 for a FREE quote

www.arksupplies.co.uk info@arksupplies.co.uk

BUY NOW; PAY NOW!!

8

Tates Tales

Our next chat with Alan Tate looks at the 09-10 season and the departure of Martinez in the Summer.

everything; how much of a come down was it in the dressing room? It must have been enormous

I remember sitting in the pub with a few mates the day that Martinez was linked to the Wigan job and he was also touted for the Celtic job too and I remember saying that he had said that ‘he was pushed out as a player and would need to be pushed out as a manager too’; did you sense that he was going to leave?

Not really no because there was a few of us that had been around and seen managers come and go before.

I think what left a bitter taste was that he said those words about ‘I was pushed out as a player and I will have to be pushed out as a manager’. I think that when you start saying things like that and the fans buy into it then you’re making a rod for your own back. If you don’t mean it then don’t say it.

Erm, no. I think that he had a good season with us and you felt that it might take him one more good season before he would leave and so no, I don’t think that it ever crossed my mind really.

How did you find out?

Agree 100%. Brendan left and I never had a problem with that, Martinez left and it was different. Did you feel angry yourself?

No, not at all.

Me and Monk were in Vegas actually and he had a text through and I had a text through and that was how we found out.

Was there anyone in the dressing room who felt that?

From Robbie?

No, from different people. I think mine might have been from my mates.

Yeah there would have been. Especially the foreign lads. Like I said before, when you get brought in by a manager then you expect them to stay for a while but me personally; no. I had got used to different managers coming in and going so I was fine.

Was that a bad way of finding out?

Erm, no because Rob rang us when we got back because he was still having his wedding in Swansea and me, Monks and Leon went to the wedding and it was all fine.

It left a really bitter taste in my mouth that; I could even go as far as saying that I haven’t enjoyed football as much since that day; I felt genuine love for the guy, genuine belief in what he was doing for the club, the philosophy, I bought into

Thinking of Renting your Property?

42 Mansel St, Swansea SA1 5SW 01792 448300 info@mypadestates.co.uk

Fully Managed Or Let Only Service Free Inventory (With Managed Service) Free Rental Appraisal High On-line Marketing Presence (For Your Property) Multi-agent Landlords Welcome Portfolio Management No Vat On Fees

MyPad are specialists in Residential & Student Lettings.

We can offer friendly advice on renting your property with no obligation - what-so-ever!

Deal of Month

ÂŁ50 OFF A MOVE (T&c Apply)

10

Tates Tales

And then the fascinating Paolo Sousa, a Champions League winner; what do you think it was like for him, to go from what he was used to to Swansea City?

A lot easier than it would have been a couple of years earlier. He was brilliant he was, he used to join in in training, he was unbelievable, kept the ball so well. He taught Joe Allen a great deal, especially when he would join in in training. He would read Joes passes, you could see Joe getting angry that he was reading him. Joe picked up a lot from Paolo, he improved massively that season.

I think that you saw a difference between how Juventus was run and how Swansea was run but he come in and he done his job, he done well.

Monk was out a lot that season and so you played centre back and captained the side for most of it; how did you enjoy that campaign?

prioritises a clean sheet or is there in some way more pressure because you know we aren’t going to score many?

To be honest, you don’t really think about it because my priority is a clean sheet anyway.

I remember that season and the wingers were basically full backs Oh, if we went 1-0 up then we knew that we were going to win the game. Obviously the flip side of that is that if we went 1-0 down then how are we going to get into the game but fortunately enough, we went 1-0 up more than we went down. It’s not something I ever thought about really, whether to prioritise this or that, as a defender then I always prioritised defending and clean sheets.

I loved it, another one that I got player of the year. Another one which I enjoyed. I settled more into centre half because Monks was injured, I only played a handful of games at left back, me and Ash had a good partnership at centre half, we kept a record number of clean sheets that the club has had and so yeah, I really enjoyed. I don’t think that there has been a season at the club that I haven’t enjoyed really, apart from the injuries but that is part and parcel of the job.

Is it enjoyable being a defender and having a manager who

Dale the Barber 29 Herbert st, pontardawe 07925 939431 1 hour free parking opposite opening times Tuesday: 8:00 - 17:00 Thursday 8:00 - 19:00 Wednesday: 8:00 - 17:00 (bookings only after 17:00) Deal of Month

Friday 8:00 - 17:00 Saturday 8:00 - 13:00

10% of hair and beard trim

The Colliers

New Road, Road, Skewen, Skewen, New SA10 6ET SA10 6ET Tel: 01792 01792 324434 324434 Tel:

Open to Thursday Thursday 2pm 2pm -- Midnight.

Midnight. Fri, Fri, Sat Sat & & Sunday Sunday 12-12 12-12 Open Monday Monday to

Open Mic Night Every Thursday Deal of Month

Fri 15th Panic Station

FriSat 19th No Direction 16th Night Shift Sat 20th Fender Benders Fri 22nd The Flicks Fri 26th Sat 23rd Lady &Cargo the Tramp Fri 29th of White Gentlemen Sat 27thLeague Skinny Boy Sat 30th Expecting Company

March May

FriSun 4th1st March Silver The VIP’s Fri 6th Sunshine Sat 5th GutbucketCab band Sat 7th Sticky Fingers Fri11th The Somethings Fri 13th No Direction Sat 14th Ursine Princes

MUSIC EVERY 4FREE ForLIVEthe Price ofFRIDAY 3!!! & SATURDAY

PRESSING A H E A D PROFESSIONAL IRONING SERVICE WASH & IRON OR IRONING ONLY Ironing £3.50 per kg (4 to 5 shirts = 1kg)

FREE PICK-UP & DROP-OFF

Morriston Cross, Morriston / Tel: 01792 772 888

the

clothes clinic

DRY CLEANERS

Dry Cleaning Laundry Repairs & Alterations Leather, Suade & Aqueos Cleaning Wedding Dresses & Evening Wear Specialists Also full range of Household Cleaning:Curtains, Duvets etc Car Park at rear Morriston Cross, 110 Tycoch Road, Morriston, Tycoch, Tel: 01792 310 553 Tel: 01792 290116 Deal of Month

Whats April February Whats OnOn

3 For 2 on Dry Cleaning

12

Wha� ��� F�n� T���� Question for the mag: Who would you like to see managing our first game next season and why?

Terry Miller It has to be Guidolin hes more than earned the right to a new contract. He needs time to build the squad he needs and see it come to fruition. Some people don't realise that his philosophy is to press high and attack with two wingers but before that can happen he needed to secure our survival from which was a very precarious situation.its now job done. Hope HJ is a man of his word and offers him a new contract, it will be well deserved .

Carl Mcnaught Chris Coleman. A true jack

Emyr Evans Phillip Cocu. He's with PSV at the moment but could be tempted by the Prem and a team that has solid foundations with regards to the way we play. He would bring champions league experience and possibly champions league quality players. Just a thought........

Raf Morgan Pep Gaurdiola - why? Well it's obvious lol

Cliff Llewellyn not this manager, he s wrecked our playing style Denzil Howells Jose mouhrino Geoff Manning Tosh Buddy Hill Kevin cullis

Daniel Era Peter nicholas Tony Davies Urai Emery

Jonathan Scott: Brendan. No question. Today showed how badly we've been managed since the cup win.

Ed Johns Anyone but Rodgers Richard Davies Think we should have gone for rafa benitez ahead of guidolin, maybe kept him on for next season, knowing jenkins he'll pull someone from left field we've never heard of.

Rodgers or Bergkamp would be OK Leon Owen Brendan Rodgers . Get back to playing football Clare Lewis Somebody who will get us back playing the Swansea city way x

Family Run, Friendly Pub

The

Earl of

y e s r e J

Karaoke Friday & Saturday Nights

73 Neath Road Briton Ferry

Pool & Darts

KSC CARPETS

Tel: 01792 474 922

Free Estimates, Measuring Service, Grippers... ...WE EVEN MOVE THE FURNITURE FOR YOU.

Astro Turf Available Here!!

‘You will be FLOORED by our Prices and Service’

14

J��e� B� S��n��

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.

You wanna try it?'So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.

The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.

In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects.

Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?'

Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'

Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?'

Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often.' ' Yeah, well there's just one thing.'

'What's that?'

'Have you farted yet?'

'No.' 'Well, DON'T, ' cause I'm in Perth .

After having their 11th child, a Cardiff couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.

The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Cardiff fan said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'

'Trust me, it will do the job', said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: '1, 2, 3, 4, 5,' at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand

Swansea Dockers CLUB last legs but they keep going.

having a look in whereas now sometimes even the

Do you get frustrated when you see players like Josh

When their chance comes then it is down to them to take it. I always look at Jazz, he has had a couple of years where he wasn’t being picked but he’s been a really good pro, he’s trained hard, he’s a good bloke, we haven’t had any trouble out of him and his chance has come and he is in. Ben was the same, Tayls got injured and he was in.

18s are involved.

Delhi st, St Thomas, SA1 8BT.under 01792 641462, 655476

LIVE SPORTS - SKY & ESPN Including

The best thing for us at the moment is that the under

ALL SKY MATCHES -

come back to play for us. So for me, once we have got them into that environment then it is down to the player. The frustrating thing for me was before as I had players who I knew could get in there but they wasn’t

The fact that the players are getting to there is a good

feeling for us as it means that we are obviously doing + ALL MAJOR SPORTING EVENTS

something right. We have a couple of young players coming through which you are going to see in the next

New Season of Rugby

FREE WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT including Bingo tote etc..

2x LARGE Screens 8’ x 6’ + 10’ x 8’ PLUS 3 LARGE Screen TVs

Multiple sporting events available at one time through sky multi-box

Hall Hire Available for Special Events WEDDINGS, ENGAGEMENTS, CONFERENCES etc...

NON MEMBERS MOST WELCOME Deal of Month

OFFER TBC

16 Take the Money & Run!!

Supporting a football club means that you would do anything for your club of choice! You would rather starve than miss a match, you would prefer to be set on fire than to even say the correct name of your biggest rivals and you would happily sacrifice a child if it meant that your side would win a football match!!

And then we sadly grow up, well most of us do.

I’m going to level with you, none of that applies to me anymore, it did when I was about thirteen or fourteen (I didn’t have a child then!!) but then life moves on and you realise things. I realised that not all Cardiff fans are total w&nkers; some of them are perfectly nice deluded idiots.

And let me level with you some more; if I owned 20% shares in the Swans then I wouldn’t think twice about cashing in and if you had any apprehensions then you are either thirteen or really need to get your priorities straight.

I don’t know the finances of our board of directors, I imagine that their bank balances look slightly healthier than yours or mine but I also imagine that you’d notice £20 million being added to it. These aren’t massively wealthy individuals, these are people who stumped up some cash thirteen odd years ago and have struck gold and I for one say good on them and I have no issues with them wanting to sell whatsoever.

Do I want them to sell? No. but that is very different to whether they should or not, at the end of the day, these are people with families. Without getting too morbid, life is pretty short, the idea of having a load of money to waste on holiday homes and world cruises sounds like money and time well spent and an absolute no brainer for the people in question!

I have loved the fact that we are a club run by local business people and ones who aren’t elitist and have roots here. I don’t want that to change but it isn’t about me, I can’t strap them into their seats and force them to continue to sit at board meetings and its naïve, wrong and foolish of us to attempt to.

With respect (because they deserve a lot!) I don’t really think that it is healthy for a football club to have owners who don’t really want to be there either and I get the feeling that that has been the case for a while. Has the stadium expansion been pushed that hard? Would you? If you wanted out?

I get the impression that heads have been turned and I think that any of us would be the same, I doubt that any of us will ever hear the whole truth but it’s pretty clear that at least a few board members want to take their cash and run. And personally, I’d say good luck to every one of them, thank you for being there when we desperately needed you, thank you for the journey but please keep a little nest egg aside just in case we need you again one day!!

ASW Scaffolding South Wales

Keeping you Safe, Whatever the level Covering Neath, Port Talbot, Swansea One of South Wales leading Scaffolding Companies.

Preferred choice of scaffolder for most of the local tradesmen, as well as Rhondda Cynon Taff Council Homes, Valleys to Coast Bridgend Council Homes, providing quality scaffolding erections for them to complete the work they need to undertake.

All scaffolding in conjunction with NASC (National Access and Scaffolding Confederation) TG20:13 Compliant.

Additionally we operate within the New April 2015 CDM Regulations.

Contact Us For a Free No Obligation Quote

Tel: 01639 711166 | 07976 250920 www.absolute-scaffolding-wales.co.uk

The Pontardawe Inn 123 Herbert Street, Pontardawe (Just off roundabout)

01792 447562

Proud

Winners of

Thursday Night Afternoon in Paris

Friday NightBest Pub Curry & Acumen Swansea, This RIVER

Dawn winning

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

Saturday Fat Tuesday, The 2 Tones, Junction 47 P Panic Station, No Direction, LAF

Best Barmaid

Sunday at the The Pollen Count, Faded Glory, Jack Swan Awards GUTBUCKET Band, Scotch Corner

PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL FULL SKY MULTISCREEN

18

Wha� ��� F�n� T���� Question for the mag: Would you welcome American investment into the club?

Martin Davies Yes-only if it for the good of the swans , and help swans build for the future and not put swans in heavy debt and keep swans has a family and local club not a giant of a club to feed off Alister Wheeler no controversial front covers!! haha Martin Davies A few decent players Aled Jones The two guys linked to take over sound like very astute business men. One has a good history of sports success and negotiating massive signings, the other has a very good record of maximising revenue and profitability. Exciting times!

Martin Davies Sounds good to me - yes hope they do well for swans Benji Dorward From what I read, Huw and another board member will stay and the supporters trust will keep their 21% steak and board seat... So not a complete takeover Julia Manser I m a bit scared

STAY SAFE

ELECTRICAL

Ash Swansea Jack Thomas Partly yes as long as they do not make all the decisions. we could do with the extra money to buy new players also.

Robert Lewis I want to know why? Why would two businessmen from across the pond want to invest in little old Swansea city? What are they going to get out of it? The club is being run very well in, my opinion. Obviously we need to get a manager in permanently and build on what we have but do we really need such a drastic change? Makes me a little scared if I'm honest.

These big money investors pick people up and can drop them again when and if they get bored. Suppose we'll just have to trust in the board Martin Davies Money talks Steven Edwards No Nicky Jenkins No STID Don Morgan Its a no from me. Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. People

Stay Safe Inspection & Testing Ltd Electrical installation services for industrial, commercial domestic customers in South Wales.

Stay Safe Inspection & Testing Ltd Periodic Inspecting & Testing of Electrical Installations in domestic, commercial and industrial premises.

Electrical installation services for Portable Appliance Testing (PAT testing) forindustrial, Stay Safe Inspection & Testing Ltd businesses and organisations South Wales Wales. commercial domesticthroughout customers in South Electrical installation services for industrial, Stay Safe Inspection & Testing Ltd commercial domestic customers in South Wales.

Stay Safe Inspection & of Testing Ltd PROUD SUPPLIERS TO Periodic Inspecting & Testing Electrical Installations Electrical installation services for industrial, Electrical installation services for industrial, SWANSEA CITY FOOTBALL CLUB in domestic, commercial and industrial commercial domestic customers in South Wales. premises.

Periodic Inspecting & Testing of Electrical Installations commercial domestic customers in South Wales.

in domestic, commercial and industrial premises. www.ssitltd.co.uk / info@ssitltd.co.uk Periodic Inspecting & Testing Testing of Electrical(PAT Installations Portable Appliance testing) for Periodic Inspecting & Testing of Electrical Installations inPortable domestic, commercial and industrial premises.

Appliance Testing (PAT testing) for and organisations throughout 01639businesses 711545 / 07883 300865 in domestic, commercial and industrial premises. South Wales businesses and organisations throughout South Wales Portable Appliance Testing (PAT testing) for Portable Appliance Testing (PAT testing) for PROUD SUPPLIERS TO businesses and organisations throughout South Wales PROUD SUPPLIERS businesses and organisations throughoutTO South Wales

SWANSEA CITY FOOTBALL SWANSEA CITY FOOTBALL CLUB CLUB PROUD SUPPLIERS TO

PROUDinfo@ssitltd.co.uk TO www.ssitltd.co.uk www.ssitltd.co.uk /SUPPLIERS info@ssitltd.co.uk SWANSEA/CITY FOOTBALL CLUB SWANSEA CITY FOOTBALL CLUB www.ssitltd.co.uk / ssit@btconnect.com 01639 711545 / 07883 300865 www.ssitltd.co.uk / info@ssitltd.co.uk 01639 711545 / 07883 300865 www.ssitltd.co.uk / info@ssitltd.co.uk 01639 711545 / 07883 300865

01639 711545 711545 // 07883 07883 300865 300865 01639

The New Swan

Ystalyfera. 01639 841222 Breakast Served

2

Can Dine For Nine

7

Days a Week!

From 8 am

Lunch Served 12 - 3pm Accomodation from

ÂŁ35 per night

Pool Table Darts Beer Garden

50 Gurnos Rd, Swansea, West Glamorgan, SA9 2HY

W E A R E N OT J U S T A N M OT C E N T R E !

M

Y

Y

205 / 55 x 16 175 / 65 x 14 195 / 50 x 15

£39.00 155 / 65 x 14 £35.00 185 / 65 x 15 £39.00

£35.00 £39.00

Plus MANY MORE Sizes Available At Outstanding Prices

WHEEL BALANCING • TRACKING ALL M OT W ORK U NDERTAKEN • O IL C HANGE F ROM £ 35.00 MOT WORK UNDERTAKEN OIL CHANGE FROM £35.00

MOT JUST £35

WITH THIS VOUCHER Offer Expires April 30th 2016

Unit 7 Alloy Court Ind. Estate, Pontardawe SA8 4HR (Just before Lliw Builders, on the left hand side)

Call Us For A Competitive Quote

01792 865996

The Ranch ponty full.ai 1 14/03/2016 20:00:00

C

M

Y

CM

12 High Street, Pontardawe, Swansea SA8 4HU Serving Tuesday - Sunday 5.30pm - 9.30pm

MY

CY

CMY

K

Comfortable 60 60 Seat Seat Restaurant Restaurant with with Comfortable full bar bar facilities facilities full We only only source source the the most most tender tender beef beef We from finest finest grass-fed grass-fed cattle cattle from Offering traditional traditional && international international Offering favourites inc. inc. fish fish && vegetarian vegetarian options options favourites Great Venue Venue for for Parties Parties etc. etc.

AA Great BOOKING HIGHLY ADVISABLE!

ď€Šď€ 01792

448220

W: www.theranch.wales E: hello@theranch.wales

22

Swans Eleven

This issue we have a Swans eleven from Michael Howard. I said this before but he was the answer to Englands left back issues all those years back, ever dependable. They would have won a major tournament if they had only visited the Vetch from time to time!

Goalkeeper: Its only Rodge really isn’t it mate! All the others were awful ha ha, No Rodge was great, it was brilliant to have him around the dressing room. He should have played higher obviously but he stuck with the swans, he’s a local lad isn’t he. He was horrible to sit next to after the game, he used to scratch his arse and throw his undies at you and scratch his arse and throw sandwiches at you. But he was such a good keeper he was safe he used to come out and catch the ball at corners he was a brilliant keeper.

Centre halve: I’m going to go for three centre halves. I have to put Tatey in there smudge and Boundy.

Smudge was the big ugly one who used to head the ball, I’m sure that is what they all say. Smudge was my best mate when he was down here, we lived close together, we always spent a lot of time together and it was such a shame to see him go through what he did to be honest and to see how much it affected him personally, it was hard for him because he was in such good form at the time, he was quick, his passing, he would spread 50 yard balls sometimes. He was great at heading the ball and winning tackles but he was quick! People didn’t realise how quick he was. To see him go through the operation, it was tough for him but he was a great player and a great lad as well. He’s keeping all the plastic surgeons in business now getting his ears pinned back and stuff like that now.

really play for Manchester united. Then he starts playing football and you realise why he was there; he was a great player.

Do you remember when Tate first signed for the Swans in division 3 and just running through the defences?

Normally we was on the half way line and Tatey was on the edge of the box waiting to get the ball of Rodge, with Rodge having a heart attack. We were used to hitting it in the channels and playing it long but him and Britts were the start of things really.

Do you think he wasn’t really given a chance in the premier league?

He never lets anyone down, if he was a couple of years younger maybe he would have been in his prime and maybe played a good few more games in the premiership with the swans.

Matthew Bound: Boundy, yes, left side of the three, I used to play along side Boundy for 2 or 3 years and I think we complimented each other well in the time we played together and kept a lot of clean sheets. He was intelligent, was a good talker and I thought we had a good combination going. He’s just a good lad, nice guy all round, off the pitch he was brilliant, always organising

Tatey is Tatey isn’t he! he doesn’t look like a footballer but you get him on the pitch and he was brilliant, he was great with the ball, a great lad to have around the place as well, Tatey was great. He came in having a sausage sandwich on the coach and your thinking did this lad

The Park Fish Bar Brynmill The Cheapest in Swansea. Est 1918.

SA2 0BT

ALL DAY SPECIALS

Opening Times Mon - Fri 11:30 am - 8:45 pm Sat 12.00 pm - 7:30pm

Jumbo Sausage & Chips £2.25 Fish Cake & Chips £2.25 Rissole & Chips £2.25 Pie or Pasty & Chips £2.75 Ham, Egg & Chips £2.75 Small. £3.25 Large Fish & Chips £4.00 (£7.00 for 2)

Home Made Specials Monday Beef Chilli. Cheese & Chips Tuesday Chinese Chicken Curry & Chips Wednesday Bolognese, Cheese & Chips Thursday Faggots, Peas, Chips & Gravy Friday Nachos, Beef Chilli & Cheese ALL SPECIALS £3.50

e g r o e G st COMING SOON!!

Walters Road 01792 446850

Newly refurbished

Sunday Carvery Served From 12 Live Music here!!

Every Thursday & Saturday Outdoor Seating Area

Deal of Month

www.stgeorgeswansea.com

20% OFF MAIN MEAL with Blue Light Card or Defence Card

24 Swans Eleven the lads nights out and we had a good spirit then. Solid defender one of the first names on your team sheet.

Wing backs, I’m going to go for JJ!! Jason price as right wing back, obviously in my changing room I want my lads who like a good night out and JJ was always someone who liked a good night out with us. He kept the team spirit going, he was a good lad. He has gone on to have a great career and done really well for himself.

He has hasn’t he, Jason price popped up recently in one of the Swans 11s and I was saying how he was playing on at Doncaster until he was about 37, he was playing quite late wasn’t he?

Yes he was playing on for a long time and then he went on to league of Wales then. When he played with us, if you had of said he would play centre forward we would have laughed but he’s done really well and I know he played at one of my old clubs Tranmere and he was really liked up there and Morecambe he was well liked. He’s had a good career, good energy up and down, also good for a night out but I’m not too sure about his dress sense and a few dodgy haircuts as well. There is a theme going through my dressing room isn’t there ha ha.

he wanted to do. He would turn up to training when he wanted, he was always late so there was no point in fining him anyway because he was going to be late, possibly maybe one of the lads who could have gone away from Swansea and maybe would have kicked on with his career. There was times when I first came down that I remember there was a few scouts watching him in a few games, he was a good player, a good kid, he was hard working, always used to track back which helped me out. He had a great work rate and didn’t get the credit he deserved for that, good energy and good feet as well and a good lad. We are going to have a good Christmas party with this team!

Unit 20, Kemys

Left wing back: I will pick Johnny Coates at left wing back, again another great lad to have around, Coatsy was on his own really; you had to Just leave Coatsy do what

01792422139 / 07748 718 360

www.rsdelectrical.co.uk reecedavies18@gmail.com

18 Crestacre Close, Newton, Swansea SA3 4UR

We Carry Out All Aspects Of Electrical Installation Don’t mess with Electrics Call The Experts

Unit 20, Kemys Way Swansea Enterprise Park

s Way

Tel: 07812 082277 Deal of Month

FREE DELIVERY & CONSTRUCTION

T E G LS R A T RIA AE

Supply, Installation Upgrading & Repair Aerials, Amplifiers, Bracketry, Masts, Receivers, Satellite Dishes All in stock Aerial and Satellite Installation for Commercial and Domestic Free Quotations by experienced staff, Special Offers on NOW

92 Neath Road, Hafod, Swansea SA1 2HW

01792 472282 Deal of Month

SPECIAL DISCOUNT ON ALL RETAIL

26 Swans Eleven Andrew Mumford: Good mates with Mumf, yet again a good lad to have in the dressing room, I think this team would be good away from home as well because we have got a lot of players who can dig in and get a result.

Mumf was a good footballer, two footed, good set piece delivery, got us goals and from corners and free kicks he was great really. He probably under performed in his career really he would probably admit that himself. You can’t take anything away from him!

When he played for the swans he was excellent. Mumf, ability wise was well up there and he looks like Smithy!!!

Leon Britton: Britts is the main man isn’t he! I remember his first couple of training sessions and this lad had turned up from West Ham, this young kid and you just couldn’t get the ball of him, between him and Andy Robinson in training I think they had the ball for about 45 minutes. It was pointless anyone else being there they were so good, Leon Britton and Mumf would be the two

holding midfielders, I think that was the good thing with Mumf when he was fit, he could really get around the pitch so I would have them two pulling the strings for me.

Are you surprised to see Leon playing in the premiership now or not?

Not really, the only surprise really was Sheffield United because at the time it was a good move for him but the type of team Sheffield United was at the time they were a long ball side which wouldn’t suit Britts but at the end

58 AUDI TDi S LINE(170), 3 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,A/C,FSH, 130K,MOT £7,995 £ 7,295 57 FORD A3 GALAXY 1.8 TDCi(125) ZETEC,GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,A/C,C/L,S/H,79K 07VW AUDI A41.4 2.0TDi SLINE CABRIOLET,BLACK,ALLOYS,SAT.NAV,84K,FSH ££7,495 6,995 06 AUDI A3 2.0TDi DSG S5 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,56K,FSH LINE, 3DR,BLACK,18” ALLOYS,H/LTHR,FSH,88K 09 POLO TDi MATCH, £ 5,995 08 VW PASSAT 2.0TDi SE,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,FSH,133K,MOT £4,995 11BMW SKODA FABIA 1.6 TDi S,WHITE,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, 42K,FSH,MOT 54 318Ci SPORT3 CONVERTIBLE,AUTO,BLACK,ALLOYS,FSH,74K ONLY£ 5,495 MAR £ 4,995 54 MITSUBISHI L200 D/CAB PICK UP,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR,117K,FSH £4,995 59VW FIAT 500 1.2 LOUNGE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH,52K TAX £ 4,795 08 PASSAT 2.0TDi £ £30 4,995 06 MAZDA 5 2.0 TDSE,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,FSH,133K,MOT TS, GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 7 SEATS,84K,FSH ,46 MPG £4,695 11VW PEUGEOT 1.4HDi ££4,495 4,695 54 MERCEDES BENZ C220ENVY, CDi, 5DR,RED,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,A/C,85K,FSH BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,A/C,H/LTHR,FSH,106K 05 GOLF 1.9 207 TDi SE, GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,E/W,72K, FSH,MOT MAY £ 4,995 06 RENAULT 1.6PAS,R/C/L,E/W, CABRIOLET,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,49K 59MAZDA VAUXHALL CORSA 1.2 SXi, 3DR,GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,39K ££3,995 3,995 06 5 2.0MEGANE TD TS, GREY, 7 SEATS,84K,FSH ,46 MPG ONLY £ 4,695 01 Y LANDROVER DISCOVERY TD5 XS,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,7 SEATS,122K £3,995 57 VAUXHALL ASTRA 1.3 CDTi LIFE, 5DR,SILVER,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,46K £ 3,695 08 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 EXPRESSION,3 DR,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,72K £3,695 58 SKODA TOYOTASUPERB AYGO 1.0 PLATINUM, 5 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR,62K,FSH £ 3,295 07 2.0TDi ,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,A/C, 117K MOT FEB14 £3,495 08 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 EXPRESSION,3 DR,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,72K £ 3,695 56 FORD KA 1.3i COLLECTION, BLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW MOT £2,495 56 NISSAN NOTE 1.6 SE,5 DOOR,GOLD,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,63K,MOT SEPT £ 2,995 54 FORD SUPERB FOCUS 2.0TDi ST170,,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,A/C, 3 DOOR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, £2,495 07 117K MOT FEB14 OWNER,82K £ 113K 3,295 08SKODA VAUXHALL CORSA 1.2 BREEZE, 3DR ,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,1 £ 2,795 54 CITROEN C3 1.4 LX, 5 DR,GREY, PAS,R/C/L,E/W, FSH,92K, NEW MOT £1,995 56 KA 1.3i COLLECTION, BLACK,PAS,C/L,E/W,CD,39K,FSH,NEW MOT £ 2,495 05FORD VW PASSAT TDi1.5 HIGHLINE(130), MET.BLUE,ALLOYS,LTHR,FSH,148K 2,495 03 RENAULT CLIO DCi DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,101K, £20 TAX ££1,995 54 FORD FOCUS ST170, 3 DOOR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,FSH, 113K £ 2,495 03 RENAULT 206 CLIOSW1.21.4iDYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,107K,FSH 56 PEUGEOT VERVE,GREY,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,FSH,60K ONLY ££1,795 1,995 03 RENAULT CLIO 1.5 DCi DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,101K, £20 TAX £ 1,995 03 SEAT AROSA 1.0 S, BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,R/C/L,E/W, 79K,NEW MOT £1,795 05 VW PASSAT TDi ESTATE, SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR, E/W,186K,FSH, £ 1,995 02 VAUXHALLCORSA CORSA 1.2 ELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT £1,695 02 VAUXHALL 1.2 ELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT £ 1,495 03VW VOLKSWAGEN POLO 1.4TDi SPORT,3 DR,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,FSH,90K ££1,695 1,995 04 CADDY SDi VAN, WHITE, PAS,C/L,E/W, 110K, MOT FEB 14,TAX JAN 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £ 1,395 03 CITROEN SKODA OCTAVIA AMBIENTE,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,110K,FSH 1,695 03 DISPATCHTDi 1.9D VAN,WHITE,PAS, 6 DOORS,130K,MOT FEB 14 ££1,695 54 FORD FOCUS TDi ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT FEB £ 1,295 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £1,395 53 VW PASSAT TDi SE ESTATE,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L117K, MOT SEPT £ 1,495 02 PEUGEOT 206 1.6TDi XSi,3ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT DR,BLUE,17” ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEW MOT £ 1,195 54 FORD FOCUS FEB £1,295 54 VW BORA 1.9 TDi SE,MET.BLUE, ALLOYS,PAS, R/C/L,182K,FSH,MOT NOV £ 1,295 02 PEUGEOTCLIO 2061.51.6 DR,BLUE,17” ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEW £1,195 51 RENAULT DCi,XSi,3 5 DR,GREEN, PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £30 MOT £ 1,195 53RENAULT FORD FIESTA 1.4 FLAME, 3 DR, GREEN, ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,FSH,97K,MOT £ 1,295 51 CLIO 1.5 DCi, 5 DR,GREEN, PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £30 £1,195

B03 A RFORD G A I N FIESTA 1.25 FINESSE,BLUE,PAS,C/L,LOW INS,FSH,66K, MOT AUG B A S E£M1,295 E NT:

BARGAIN BASEMENT: 01FORD Y LANDROVER FREELANDER TD4 GS,GREEN,ALLOYS,149K,NEW MOT £ 1,295 06 KA 1.3i PURPLE,PAS, RADIO/CD, MOT SEPT 2014,108K £ 995 04 MG ZS 1.6 STYLE, 4 DOOR,MET.GREEN,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,CD,S/H,71K,NEW MOT £995 1.6i CLASSIC, 4 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT £ 995 51 RENAULT RENAULTMEGANE MEGANE 1.6i CLASSIC, 4 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT £995 01 FORDFOCUS FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £995 BARGAIN 01 YYFORD 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £ 995BASEMENT: 00 W JAGUAR S TYPE 3.0 V6 AUTO,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,97K,MOT OCT 2014 £995 99 T FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, 5 DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,109K,NEW MOT £ 795 98 S SAAB 93 CONVERTIBLE AUTO,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,LTHR,115K.MOT JULY £495 03 45 1.4 IMPRESSION, JAN 14FEB £NOV 695 52ROVER 318i SE, 4 DR, C/L,E/W,94K,S/H,MOT 695 99 VBMW VOLVO C70 2.5 GSSILVER,PAS,ALLOYS, T, 5DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOT BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT 14 16 ££695 99 VOLVO C70 2.5 GS T, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT FEB 14 £ 695 03 45 1.4 IMPRESSION, 5 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOT JAN 14 ££695 54VROVER VAUXHALL FRONTERA 2.2i,LWB,BLACK,ENGINE PROBLEM,SPARES/REPS 495 95 N TOYOTA CELICA 2.0 GT, RED,ALLOYS,PAS, C/L,E/W, MOT MAY 2014 £250 95 M VOLVO 850 2.0 GLT AUTO ESTATE, BLUE,PAS,C/L,E/W,MOT FEB14 £ 295

28 Swans Eleven of the day Britts is a great lad who has always got time for you and no one has a bad word about him and again; he likes a night out as well. it’s all about team spirit. It’s like Leicester now, they have a great team spirit and I think it helps moral and makes a massive difference, you have got to have a good dressing room as well.

Andy Robinson: I spoke to Trunds about this before and I think he is one of the players with the most ability I have ever seen, ability wise he was probably the best player I played with when I was at Swansea. He came from the same area as I did. I was surprised that he wasn’t playing for Leeds more because I would definitely have said that he could have played at a higher level, he was two footed, lovely balance again, scored goals from free kicks. You can imagine there would be a few fights for free kicks between him and Mumf. He was class and again another good lad to have around.

Striker: I’m not going to go for Julsey, he’s a cart Horse.

I think he scored like 3 when we won the league something like that. You can’t have a centre forward scoring 3 goals!! It is shocking, he was only in the team to defend corners ha ha.

I’m going to go for Walter Boyd, a good player who liked a sneaky night out, he would like a sly night out.

You would see him in the corner somewhere, you know he was one of them. He lit up the place when he was here, he was a good character to have around, he didn’t like training, didn’t like the cold weather but when he went on to the pitch, ability wise he was fantastic and it was there for everyone to see. Ability wise we had some decent strikers at the time Giovanni Savarese, Watkins and Jules. But goal scoring wise I think Walter was the natural goal scorer out of them all.

Trunds it had to be Trunds alongside him, I think Trunds speaks for himself really doesn’t he; what a player!

How exiting was it when a player like Trundle first came training?

I don’t think people gave him enough credit for his training because he was a bit overweight because he hadn’t played for a while when he came to us. But as soon as he got his kit on he trained as hard as anyone.

When you have got people like Robinson, Britts, Trunds and Roberto in training it gives everyone a lift, how has mumf got in ahead of Roberto? That’s a shocker that! He was probably coming to the end when he came to us but he was a great player like a father in the dressing room Martinez was but when you play with better players it makes you play better doesn’t it!

Subs: Martin Thomas, I was good mates with Thommo. I

Childcare

The Most Fun Place on the Planet So much to see and do!

At an inexpensive Price

Overnight stays from £20

Monday to Friday Ages 0-8 Ten Minute walk from beach City Centry Location Trips Snacks Weekends Available on Request Walking Distance from Park

Victoria Barba PACEY Reg No: 00130077 tel: 01792 218683 mob: 07977794995 email: vic.barba1989@yahoo.co.uk

Deal of Month

10% OFF!!!

30 Swans Eleven think he was underrated really when we won the league.

He had a great work rate, liked to think he was the hard man but he had ability as well. He could score a goal but a good man to have on the pitch organising everything.

When you go to some tough places where you want to keep a clean sheet he was good to have about.

Roberto Martinez: Lovely, Lovely lad, he was frightfully nice sometimes really, he was such a nice guy who loves his football, it is no surprise he is a manger now it’s what he always wanted.

signed a 36 year old car sales man when he took over, then he had open trials at the Vetch when there was load of Swansea Sunday league players playing who turned up for trials at the vetch, our recruitment that year was class ha ha.

Big thanks to Michael Howard for this! I think Mumf would want me to mention Jeremy Kyle as you got a Smithy one in!!

Giovanni Savarese. Again such a nice guy, speaks about five or six languages. He was such an intelligent lad, all the wives and girlfriends loved him because he was so nice. We rocked up one day at Darlington and he was sat there on the piano playing a U2 song, he could do anything really it was sickening. Lovely lad and a great player as well, great in the air.

Best Manager: Johnny Hollins was a great man manager. Players wanted to run through brick walls for him but he was ruthless in his own way as well, I don’t think he was given credit for that. We had some dodgy managers, Cussack was the worst ever. He

Mark Thomas Artexing qtr portrait.ai 1 22/06/2014 16:43:33

Mark Thomas

C

M

Artexing and Deco Decorating Specialist also New Ceilings Coving • Dry Lining Wallpapering Exterior Painting Insurance Work undertaken

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

Tel. for

K

Congratulations to Mel Nurse on being awarded freedom of the city (I didn’t know that he was banned from some areas).- A brilliant bloke, a real Swansea man and very much deserved!

FREE ESTIMATES ~NO JOB TOO SMALL~

MEMBER

Pontarddulais 01792 885686 Mobile 07790 520390

MASSIVE WINTER

75

MASSIVE SAVINGS ON A HUGE RANGE OF BEDS, BEDFRAMES, MATTRESSES, BUNK BEDS AND BEDROOM FURNITURE

WAREHOUSE CLEARANCE

SALE

LAST FEW DAYS SALE MUST END THIS WEEK

4’, 4’6” or 5’ Berlin fabric bed frame Original Price £199 SALE PRICE NOW was £129 ONLY

4’ or 4’6” Memory Foam Visco 250 mattress

£65

ALL OTHER SIZES AVAILABLE

Original Price £299 SALE PRICE NOW was £199 ONLY

£99

T SWANSEA’S BIGGES USE O H RE A DISCOUNT BED W

4’6” Antique Brass Victoria bed frame Original Price £499 SALE PRICE NOW was £399 ONLY

£165

AWERS 2 FREE DR 4’6” Luxury Memory Foam bed with 2 FREE drawers Original Price £699 SALE PRICE NOW WAS £499 ONLY

£249

4’6” or 5’ Barcelona Sleigh Faux Leather bed frame Original Price £599 SALE PRICE NOW WAS £399 ONLY

£175

ER WEST EV UK’S LO Times Ortho Firm bed with 4 drawers Original Price £619 SALE PRICE NOW WAS £399 ONLY

Ex-Display & Stock Clearance

Various bed side chests Various 5ft headboards 5’ Black or White Faux Leather headboard 4’ or 4’6” Economy mattress 3’ Pine wooden bed frame 3’ Visco Memory mattress

£249

4’6” Dreamland Mayfair bed with 2 drawers Original price £599 SALE PRICE NOW was £399 ONLY

ORIGINAL PRICE

PREVIOUS PRICE

NOW ONLY

£199 £299 £229 £129 £199 £249

£129 £199 £129 £ 79 £109 £129

£25 from £45 £45 £49 £55 £89

£295

PRICE

4’6” Kaydian Allendale Leather Ottoman storage bed frame Original Price £999 SALE PRICE NOW WAS £699 ONLY

£599

4’6” or 5’ Luxury Ethan metal bed frame in black and nickel

Original Price £699 SALE PRICE NOW was £429 ONLY

£195

AWERS 2 FREE DR 4’6” Sleepeezee Luxury Pocket Spring bed with 2 FREE drawers Original Price £1,299 SALE PRICE NOW WAS £799 ONLY

Ex-Display & Stock Clearance

ORIGINAL PREVIOUS

PRICE PRICE 5’ Luxury Highgrove mattress £499 £299 3’ Luxury Single bed with 2 drawers £299 £199 4’6” Windsor double bed £429 £299 5’ or 6’ Black Faux Leather bed frame with storage £799 £499 3’ Diamond Guest Bed £599 £399 4’6” Luxury Salus 2000 pocket spring mattress £899 £699 5’ Sealy Pocket Reflect bed with 2 drawers + h/b £1,699 £1,199

£699

NOW ONLY £135 £149 £149 £199 £299 £350 £650

UNIT 14, CWMDU TRADING ESTATE, CARMARTHEN ROAD, SWANSEA, SA5 8JF

TEL: 01792 586702 Open: Monday – Saturday 10am-5.30pm • Sunday 11am-4.30pm

Deal of Month

FREE DELIVERY & OLD BED DISPOSAL worth £29.99…..present voucher at time of sale

©LW

32 History Quiz 1) in 1999?

What was the name of the goalkeeper who scored a last minute goal to keep Carlisle in the football league

2)

In what year was the replay replaced by extra-time and penalties in an FA Cup final?

3)

Which team has played in the most FA Cup finals without winning it?

4)

Who in the 2009–10campaign, became the first club in English football to have won promotion from every division of the Football League via the play-off system? (come on, that’s a great question!! Credit where it is due!!!)

5)

How many goals did Jamie Vardy score in his 36 games for Fleetwood?

6)

How old was Brendan Rodgers when he retired from playing football?

7)

How old is Fabrizio Ravanelli?

8)

How many games did Gareth Bale play for Southampton?

9)

What is the highest league that Cheltenham Town F.C. have played in?

10)

Why is Mark Hughes such a prick?

Answers on page 98

Deal of Month

£10 OFF With a Jack Swan Card

To Hire

Deal of Month

10% OFF SKIP HIRE

34 Vital Information As we celebrate our safety thanks to Siggy, we look at his native country. Here are 31 statements about Iceland, 30 are true. I made one up, can you tell which one?

1.

A majority of Icelanders believe in elves.

15.

But there aren’t any McDonald’s Restaurants anywhere in Iceland.

16.

In 2010 Iceland banned strip clubs.

2.

At about 39,000 square miles, Iceland is small – close to the size of Ohio.

17.

Roughly 85 percent of Iceland’s energy is from renewable resources, and well over half of that is geothermal alone.

3. average.

There is a volcanic eruption every 4 years on

18.

Icelandic horses display two additional gaits as compared to all other breeds.

4.

There are no forests in Iceland.

5.

Beer remained illegal in Iceland until 1989.

19.

First names not previously used in Iceland must be approved by the Icelandic Naming Committee.

6.

At 43.5 hours per week, they have the longest work week in Europe.

7.

The Icelandic language remains unchanged from ancient Norse. That means 1,000-year-old texts are still easily read.

8. nap.

Babies in Iceland are routinely left outside to

9.

There are no surnames or family names in Iceland – Icelanders use the traditional Nordic naming system, which includes a last name that is comprised from their father’s (or mother’s) first name with the addition of -dóttir (-daughter) or -son.

10.

60% of the Icelandic population lives in Reykjavík.

11.

Iceland’s revenue from whale watching exceeds any income from whaling.

12.

Usually a temperate country, not too hot or cold, the highest temperature recorded was 30.5 °C (86.9 °F) at the Eastern fjords in 1939.

13. Iceland had the first democratically elected female and openly gay Prime Ministers.

14. Consumption of Coca–Cola per capita is higher than in any other country.

20.

Iceland was one of the last places on earth to be settled by humans.

21. nation.

Icelanders watch more movies than any other

22.

Iceland is home to one of the world’s oldest democracies; established in 930.

23.

In Iceland owning a pet snake, lizard or turtle is against the law.

24.

The country’s national sport is handball.

25. force.

Iceland does not have an army, navy or air

26.

Mosquitoes do not exist in Iceland.

27. £5.

In Iceland, you can buy 3 bags of chicken for

28.

Per capita Iceland has the highest number of book and magazine publications and 10% of the country’s population will publish a book in their lifetimes.

29. Icelandic telephone directories list Icelanders by first name alphabetically.

30.

In 2010, 97.6% of Icelandic population had Internet connection.

31.

Raw puffin heart is considered a delicacy.

TILES LIBERTY TILE STUDIO

tŝƚŚ ŽǀĞƌ ϭϱ LJĞĂƌƐ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞ ŽƵƌ ůŽĐĂů ďƵƐŝŶĞƐƐ ŽīĞƌƐ Ă ƐƚĂƌƚ ƚŽ ĮŶŝƐŚ ƟůŝŶŐ ƐĞƌǀŝĐĞ͘ tŚĞƚŚĞƌ LJŽƵ ǁĂŶƚ ƚŽ ƌĞŶŽǀĂƚĞ Žƌ ƵƉĚĂƚĞ LJŽƵƌ ƉƌŽƉĞƌƚLJ͕ ƐƚĂƌƚ Ă ŶĞǁ ďƵŝůĚ ĚĞƐŝŐŶ Žƌ ƐŝŵƉůLJ ŵĂƚĐŚ ƵƉ ƚŽ ĂŶ ĞdžŝƐƟŶŐ ƟůĞ͖ ǁĞ ǁŝůů ŚĞůƉ LJŽƵ ŽďƚĂŝŶ ƚŚĞ ďĞƐƚ ƌĞƐƵůƚƐ͘ &ƌŽŵ WŽƌĐĞůĂŝŶ͕ ĞƌĂŵŝĐ͕ DĂƌďůĞ ĂŶĚ DŽƐĂŝĐ ǁĞ ǁŝůů ĮŶĚ ƚŚĞ ƌŝŐŚƚ ƉƌŽĚƵĐƚ ĨŽƌ LJŽƵ Ăƚ ĂīŽƌĚĂďůĞ ƉƌŝĐĞƐ͘

&ƌĞĞ DĞĂƐƵƌŝŶŐ ^ĞƌǀŝĐĞ &ƌĞĞ ĞƐŝŐŶ ^ĞƌǀŝĐĞ &ƌĞĞ ^ĂŵƉůĞƐ &ƌĞĞ ĞůŝǀĞƌLJ dŽ >ŽĐĂů ƌĞĂƐ

THINKING OF TILES? THINK LIBERTY TILES Liberty Tile Studio, Liberty House, 222 Neath Road, Landore, SA1 2JG 07964 954190 ǁǁǁ͘ůŝďĞƌƚLJƟůĞƐƚƵĚŝŽ͘ĐŽ͘ƵŬ ;KƉƉŽƐŝƚĞ ƚŚĞ >ŝďĞƌƚLJ ^ƚĂĚŝƵŵ͕ ũƵƐƚ ƵƉ ĨƌŽŵ ZŽƐƐŝ͛Ɛ ĐŚŝƉ ƐŚŽƉͿ ůƐŽ ƚ >ŝďĞƌƚLJ ,ŽƵƐĞ ʹ ŬŝƚĐŚĞŶƐ͕ ĂƚŚƌŽŽŵƐ͕ ĞĚƌŽŽŵƐ͕ ĂƌƉĞƚƐ͕ sŝŶLJů ĂŶĚ >ĂŵŝŶĂƚĞƐ

Deal of Month

20% OFF!!!!!!

36 Mind Puzzles 1) Brothers and sisters I have none but this man’s father is my father’s son.

Who is the man?

2)

What 5-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

3)

Find a number less than 100 that is increased by one-fifth of its value when its digits are reversed.

4)

A bat and a ball cost $1.10. The bat costs one dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?

5)

What letter comes next in the following sequence? D R M F S L T_

6)

If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

7)

How many times can you subtract the number two from the number fifty?

8) It’s a stormy night and a plane takes off from JFK airport in New York. The storm worsens, and the plane crashes - half lands in the United States, the other half lands in Canada. In which country do you bury the survivors?

9)

In British Columbia you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

10) 8898=7 4566=2 1203=1 2313=0 4566=2 5464=1 7774=0 1003=2 9856=4 9955=2 1886=5 1231=0 8764=3 4500=

Given these equations, what does 4500 equal?

11)

Can you move 3 matches to form three triangles?~ 12) Nine coins are arranged in a triangle as shown in the picture below. You need to slide two triangles to form a square. Can you do it?

All answers on Page 98

The Village Tavern, Clydach Family friendly community pub with major sports coverage and supporter of local charities & sports teams.

Heated outdoor area. Car Park. Free Wifi. Pool Table.

Mon-Sun 11am-11:30pm 93-94 High Street, Clydach, Swansea 01792 843244

celtic studio wales Custom Made Web Design www.celticstudio.co.uk / sales@celticstudio.co.uk Office: 01639 769489 / Mobile: 07880 970939

38 Fantasy Football Aled Jones: Foster 13 Alderweireld 23 Shelvey 5 Vardy 20 Total: 61 Jack Swan Butland 3 Daniels 2 Siggy 23 Defoe 12 Total: 40 Aled Wins Again!!! 4-3 to Aled. Game Range 16th April - 11th May

De Gea - Man Utd - £5.8 Million He’s a great shot stopper and has kept the rags in games they should have lost. A nice run of games against lower to bottom ranked teams coming up. Should do well.

Moreno - Liverpool - £4.6 Million He’s not a sure start so a bit of a gamble. Liverpool look stronger with him and he has had a good season so far. Winnable games ahead for the scousers, so a few clean sheets and assists for this guy is my bet.

Drinkwater - Leicester - £4.6 Million The trick with Fantasy Football is to pick them while their hot.

Drinkwater is currently the man of the moment and is playing some very attractive football. It also helps that he’s feeding the top scorer in the BPL which means lots of points for assists.

Lukaku - Everton - £9.0 Million Naturally gifted striker on a team that has lost form over the last few months.

The Belgian is guaranteed to score a few more in upcoming games and the Toffees have a game in hand. Total: £24 Million

Schmeichel: Leicester: £4.9 I heard somewhere that since Liverpool last won the title, Peter Schmeichel had won a few himself and then had a kid, who went to school, grew up and is about to win it himself! Madness!! 4 clean sheets on the bounce; I don’t need to explain why I’m throwing him in!

Van Aanholt: Sunderland £4.7 million It is that time of the year where you look at the bottom three and start poaching players and I wouldn’t mind getting this left back into our squad! He’s very dangerous going forwards and he strikes me as a winner and a big match player. I expect some heroics over the coming weeks. That’s why I’m picking him, go get him Huw!!

Coutinho: Liverpool £8.2 He seems to be on the very top of his game right now and I got to say that he’s a wonderful player to watch. He scores goals and creates them, still young and continually improving. Klopp seems to have found out how to play him and I can see him and Liverpool going on a little run from here on in.

Mitrovic: Newcastle: 6.2 million I’ve not really made my mind up with this guy but on his day he is certainly a handful. We were supposedly linked with him over the summer although it is difficult to see how his attitude would fit in with our clubs…..

Bit like Gomis really. Newcastle are going to ship and score goals until the end of the season. A big striker seems likely to score against us too!!

FREE ESTIMATES

Clydach Carpet Centre near Clydach Market

t

t

CarpFUT t VinyMT t LaminatFT t Wood FloorinH t Accessories Supply Supply&&Fit Fit Carpets from £4.95 sq.mtr Supply ororSupply FREE Carpets from £4.95 sq.mtr.

ESTIMATES

Special Offer. 9mm underlay £3 a meter with any carpet

Open 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday, 9am - 1pm Saturday

Unit 1a Clydach Wharf, Players Ind Est, Clydach, Swansea SA6 5AT

01792 849695

www.clydachcarpetcentre.co.uk

Deal of Month

email: clydachcarpets@yahoo.co.uk

9mm Underlay Just £3 p/m, 10 mm £4, 11mm £5

M

M

Y

Y

MY

40

The Top Two Inches

It’s that time of year when Europe starts to dominate the horizon, and this time around, politics has caught the bug as well. This time, the Tories, having spent so much time and money getting there in the first place under a previous manager, can’t seem to wait to leave. Just like Chelsea and United.

The problems they face are pretty much the same. Their European opponents don’t face the same strength of domestic competition, meaning their players are fresher and more relaxed when the big European nights come along. The solution, doing a Chelsea and leaving the whole thing, much like taking your ball and going home, is equally problematic. As the FA have recognised in discussing scrapping the fascinating, but unnecessary, FA Cup replays, the solution to a European competition that favours continental monopolies isn’t to pretend it doesn’t exist. Some of us remember the post-Heysel days of the Full Member’s Cup, and Ince, Hughes and Lineker leaving.

The political arena may well follow suit. It’s a negative proposition, certainly, but a Britain without the plethora of Italian chefs, French au pairs and Spanish cafes it currently enjoys would be an unwelcome step backwards. A greasy spoon and an oak panelled pub are just as welcome on a Saturday, the same way Becks and Scholesy were just as crucial to United’s success. But to Arborum page.ai 1 19/02/2015 00:32:48Cantona is get rid of Stam, vanhalfder Sar, Keane and Irwin,

as unthinkable as swapping BMWs for Rovers.

Some great players being able to come to this country without needing work permits isn’t the only thing the European project has done for football. There’s also the Courts of Justice of the European Union case C-415/93, known to the rest of us as the Bosman ruling. There may be too much money in football, but it does lend a glorious joy to the idea of Milner on a free.

Next time you’re driving in to a Swans game, see how many EU flags you can spot on the roundabouts and building sites on the way. If you’re going along the Fabian Way, have a look at the Bay Campus as well.

Then, if you’re at all unsure about the usefulness of the European project, ask yourself how much of the £11bn or so contribution the UK makes to the EU budget every year any Westminster government plans to set aside to replace the European Regional Development Fund. Just like in football, Europe’s big, complicated, and definitely not perfect, but we’d all miss it, and most of it in ways we wouldn’t notice until they weren’t there.

Two teams for this month, to take on a tasty, two-legged, Tuesday night tie, under the away goals rule.

Playing 3-5-2 are the greatest European players to volunteer for a rainy January night in the League Cup:

enquiries@arborum.org

Tel: 01792 864053 Mob: 07533 418103

www.arborum.org

Tree Dismantling / Felling • Tree Pruning • Hedge Trimming Site Clearance and Maintenance 24hr Emergency Call Out Hedge / Tree Planting • Stump Grinding / Removal Work complying to BS3998 using fully insured & qualified staff All waste products removed and recycled

GK: Edwin van der Sar - You had to hate those United teams, mainly for the way they hovered up the best of the league, including this seven foot tall octopus of a keeper from Fulham.

CB: Frank Leboeuf - He’s here, he’s there, he’s...

CB: Jaap Stam - Another United player who was annoyingly, frustratingly brilliant.

CB: Marcel Desailly – “The Rock”, and aptly named.

DMF: Claude Makalele – Who else could play the Makelele role?

CMF: Xabi Alonso – Another player who came, changed English football, and still looms over every player to try and fill his position after he left.

No. 10: Gianfranco Zola – Part Pirlo, part Messi, and a joy to watch, in midwinter mudbaths and Wembley finals.

LW: David Ginola – Because he’s worth it.

RW: Cristiano Ronaldo – Arrived as a petulant, diving showboater, like Ashley Young, who thought he was a lot better than he was, like Nani. Left better than both of them combined.

One off: Thierry Henry – Like some kid playing himself on Fifa, with every stat maxed, but in real life.

when he left. Probably still playing now, chewing gum and shutting Cristiano Ronaldo down completely...

DMF: Esteban Cambiasso – Almost as Inter as Javier Zanetti, and signed for nothing.

CMF: Luis Enrique – A Barca legend, but moved from Real for free. Obviously Sol Campbell’s inspiration.

CMF: Edgar Davids – One of the first, and still one of the best.

RWF: Roberto Baggio – The divine ponytail seemed in terminal decline, and permanently crocked, but worth a punt by Bologna and paid off spectacularly.

LWF: Henrik Larsson – Doubtful Barca would have been interested if the price tag hadn’t been zero, Celtic Park to the Camp Nou isn’t the most natural of steps, but slotted in fine with Ronaldinho, Eto’o and the rest, and filled the gap between Kluivert and Henry.

CF: Raul – No club in the world should turn down one of Europe’s best ever goalscorers, much less when he costs nothing.

Could be close, but the Europeans should have too much on their own patch. Plus ca change...

Robin Hill

One up: Eric Cantona – Gifted footballer, terrible actor, parody Frenchman.

And they’re up against the best XI who put the free in free movement: GK: Lukasz Fabianski – FA Cup winner for nothing? Sold.

CB: Sol Campbell – To your club’s biggest rivals. On a free. Still looks a very sensible move though.

CB: Markus Babbel – One great season before he got seriously ill, but that’s a great return for a Bosman signing.

LB: Ashley Cole – For some reason, no one wanted him for free on a Bosman, but Roma picked him up a week after his contract expired. Best left back in the world for almost a decade.

RB: Cafu – He was 33 when Milan signed him, and 38

Something for all you ladies out there!!!

42

46

Pic���� Q��� Pic Q

Good luck.

Text into 07880 369545, be impressed!! athe linkthe between them all which youthem!!!!

NO Answers atathe back anymore asI’d requested the There locals Masons in Wanuarlwydd.

Blame Just for change: Answers are onbypage 98!isinGet linkArms between all will 4 ashelp well Send your answers to 07880 369545 to get your name in next months issue! There is a link between all five!

1) 1)

2)

a

1)

Example of how it works

Answer: Ross McCormack

2)

Ross

3)

MC

4)

Corr

2) 3) 3)

4) 4)

5) 5)

5)

N M

for: nce.

Quad espoke

Z

ENIT MOTOR FACTORS

H

EVERTHING FOR THE MOTOR TRADE

Friendly & Experienced Service

Mack

Bi

TRY US FIRST FOR

Janspeed Scorpion Sportex SPORTS EXAUSTS K+N Pipecross GreenCotton Jamex AIR FILTERS & INDUCTION KITS Spax Gmax Koni Avo SUSPENSIONS Full range of ALLOY WHEELS CT Racing & MAXPOWER Sports & NEON SNOOPER DETECTORS All Parts and accessories Available

e Filter) Phone for a FREE quotation & up to date prices T s Open 9am - 6pm Monday to Saturday SPECIAL OFFERS on WHEELS, SUSPENSION 01792 462124 2/3 KING EDWARD ROAD, SWANSEA KITS & BODY KITS! tion Work

Custom Built T304 Exhausts for: Classic, 4x4, Prestige, Imports, Performance. Quad Bikes Beach Buggies, Motorbikes & Bespoke Better MPG - Better BHP DPF Removals (Diesel Particulate Filter) Sports CATs - Standard CATs Engine Remapping Stainless Steel Welding & Fabrication Work

ikes

Deal of Month

10% OFF

44

J��e� B� S��n��

I was sat on the toilet the other night, straining really hard with all my might, when suddenly, there was a loud POP and everything when dark.

"Honey are you OK!?" Called my wife from the other room. "There's been a powercut!"

"Thank God for that!" I shouted back.

"I thought my eyeballs had burst !"

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old Grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.'

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, 'He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along...

We'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed a Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame

10% OFF ALL REPAIRS CARRIED OUT IN MARCH ON PRODUCTION OF THIS ADVERT

JK’s Club

FUNCTION ROOM & Sports Bar Neath Road, Briton Ferry, SA11 2AX www.jksclub.co.uk / 01639 812117

Liberty’s Function Suite To Hire (First Floor)

280 capacity - both round and long tables - stage area - dance floor

FREE POOL & JUKEBOX EVERY FRIDAY

Winners of Best Sunday Lunch & Best Barman @ Jack Swan Awards Children’s Party @ jkS See Website For Details

Live Music Every Sat With The Best Artists Available

Watch All The Sport That You Want

46

J��e� B� S��n�� Handy man wanted Paddy walks in the store and applies for the job. the boss asks can you work a lathe? no says Paddy can you drive a delivery truck? no says Paddy the boss then asks,...so what makes you handy then??

Paddy replies "I only live around the corner"

An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!"

The old man says "I'll have the soup."

C

M

10% OFF MOT MOT WITH WITHTHIS THIS ADVERT ADVERT

Tel: 01792 650002 Call: 07885 203185 Fax: 01792 650003

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

Unit Unit 14, 14, SA1 SA1 Business BusinessPark, Park,Langdon LangdonRd, Rd,SA1 SA18QY 8QY A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Donald Trump fans.

Not really knowing what a Donald Trump fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for smart Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not a Donald Trump fan."

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Donald Trump?"

Johnny said, "Because I'm a Democrat."

The teacher asked him why he's a Democrat.

Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Democrat and my Dad's a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat."

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me a Donald Trump fan."

K

Domestic and Commercial Ground Contractors

All Aspects of Tree Surgery

Tree Removal • Crown Reduction / Lifting • Section Felling Dead Wood Removal • Hedge Trimming / Reduction

All Aspects of Landscaping

Hard & Soft Landscaping • Garden Design • Border Development Garden Clearance • Pruning • Jet Washing

All Aspects of Fencing Panel • Feather Edge • Concrete and much more

Fully Equipped, Professional Service unseasoned wood delivered to your door

d,& Lansdscapes Ltd team on Call the Rooted Tree

Grounds Maintenance to Both Domestic And Commercial Property

T: 01792 519576 or M: 07837 160157 www.RootedTreeAndLandscapes.co.uk

48

START 2016 WITH A

BOOM!!!!!!

Cracking Fireworks At Affordable Prices!

Unit 11, J Factory, White City Road Ind Estate, Fforestfach Swansea SA5 4EE (behind American Golf) Shop in yard of Budget Beds

Call: 07701 099 331 Open From Boxing day!!!!

Mels Memories

Do you think that maybe we don’t allow managers to become good managers because we don’t let them learn how to get out of a bad spell? You look at Garry Monk this year and he had a bad spell and he was gone I know, I know. That is a sign of football to come that is. Because there is so much pressure on the clubs, it is frightening. Garry Monk when he first took over was doing well and then all of a sudden when a few results go against him then he is out and it wasn’t because of him but because of the players that were going in the field. And the thing is that as a manager now, going from a player to a manager, players don’t relate to you the same, to your face they are open and tidy but when they go on the field then that is different.

You did it at Merthyr didn’t you?

I did it yeah, I got to be honest that I didn’t want to go into management ever. I had finished with the Swans.

I couldn’t afford to play football and only earn £20 a week, I had bought a couple of houses and done them up myself, brought them back into respectable properties because they were condemned, got the condemned notices taken off them because the council had put them on. I could only afford houses that needed work done to them, how was I going to afford houses on £20 a week? I look back and think how did I cope? How did I do that? There was times when I was being talked about going to Manchester United, Manchester City and I didn’t want to go anywhere, why would I? There was a maximum

20 Parkway, Sketty, Swansea SA2 8JJ Flowers & Deliveries For All Occasions Throughout South Wales

Tel/Fax 01792 299963 Tel: 01792 205709

wage of £20 a week in football and I was on £20 a week, didn’t matter where I went, I’d still get £20. Why would I want to go outside of Swansea? As far as I am concerned, Swansea is brilliant! As a footballer, you travel to all these places and I never thought about moving; I’m staying in Swansea!

As an ex-player, do you think that the level is right now or that the level was right then?

Let me explain to you the system of our time. If I signed a one year contract then at the end of that year, if you were up for renewal and the club didn’t offer you a contract then they could hold your contract. You weren’t a free agent, you couldn’t go anywhere, you would have to finish football all together if they wished for that to happen. If they didn’t want to offer you a contract then they could withhold it from you and deny you from playing anywhere.

Jimmy Hill negotiated for the maximum wage to be lifted, I was playing football, I wasn’t interested in all that and it had come in at the end of my time. I was still on £20 a week; I never earned more than £20 a week in my whole career. I started at the Vetch in 1952, on the ground staff, £1 two and six, that’s what I was getting. Within two years I signed to go professional when I was seventeen and they gave me £5. WOW!! I was wealthy!! Then at 17 ½ I

MJ

Cleaners

50

MJ

Small, Local Cleaning Business

MJ

Customers are our First Priority

MJ

End of Tenancy Cleaning Specialists

Phone: 07976511565 mjcleaningservices43@gmail.com

www.baytreeflorists.co.uk sales@baytreeflorists.co.uk 10% OFF!!!

Deal of Month

Excluding E-Florist

Deal of Month

1 Black Bag of Clothes, wahsed & Dried £6.50

52

Mels Memories

was in the first team and the centre half at my time was Tom Kiley and he done damage to his ankle and so they put me in against Leicester, I was only 17 1/2 ,we won down here 7-1 I think and that gave me a platform to carry on but within a couple of months then I had to do two years national service. So I went into the army, I spent two years in the forces, getting back when I could to play.

They would play me somewhere in the combination or in the first team but they would juggle it around.

was out the back gate in my uniform. We were staying in Farnborough, now from there to London, you come in at Waterloo station, from Swansea you come into Paddington. Now Waterloo and Paddington look similar to me, big stations! So I arrive at Waterloo and I’m there at 6am, never forget as long as I live. I’m in uniform, they have Regimental police in the camps but MP’s in the stations and things looking out for anyone who should be on service.

Next thing, I sit down and I fall asleep in Waterloo thinking I’m in Paddington. I wake up 11:45, now I’m supposed to meet the coach in Paddington at 12 o’clock, all of a sudden I realise that I’m in the wrong station.

So you played some games for the firsts for the Swans when you were on national service?

Oh yes, I remember one game in particular and I was in the clothing store in camp. We’d work all week, cushy number in the clothing store because I was captain of the squadron. So I used to get away with murder, honestly, as a footballer you would get away with murder! Because people bond with them but I remember this one day, Monday to Friday we were working all the time and on the weekend we could relax a bit but to leave the camp you would need either a 36 hour pass or a 48 hour pass but I didn’t have either of them but I knew where the back gates were and all the rest of it so I sneaked out.

We were playing against Fulham, I hadn’t applied, I hadn’t asked the warrant officer or anything for a pass to get out, I just sneaked out and this particular morning, I

I was lucky that the MP’s never picked me up in the first place, next thing I run to Putney bridge, run up the ramp, had no money on me to get a taxi, I see the lights miles away, run a straight line to the ground. By the time I get there then they are on the field, they had waited for me to get there for ten minutes but when I hadn’t arrived then they had gone, got to the ground, changed and I got to accept that they have picked the team and I’m not in it. I sat there sick as a parrot because I’m not playing. At the end of the game, it’s the best I’ve ever felt; we lost 7-1, Jimmy Hill, Johnny Haynes they were shooting from everywhere at us. Thank god for that! Good quality players in those days they had!

Bobby’s Garden & Maintenance

MIKE’S Services

07538 328 684 bobbyperrin@gmail.com

A Fully Comprehensive Commercial & Domestic Service leaving your ovens, hobs, extractor fans, microwaves etc.

Sparkling Clean & Ready For Immediate Use on-Corr s C hemicals AreaN ive, Non-Caustic nd Fume o Free!

Jetwashing Also Available: Patios, Drives, Paths and more...

07572 529448 / 01639 700084 Deal of Month

Free Quote

Garden Walls Decking Driveways Tree’s Cut

Fascia’s Painting Guttering General Building

Hedge Trimmed Fencing Turfing Patio’s

Book 5 Cuts and get 5th Free!

Everyone enjoys good food.

But not everyone enjoys cooking.

The solution is a delicious Wiltshire Farm Foods meal, ready and waiting in your freezer.

Choose from over 300 ready meals, each made using tasty ingredients that are perfectly cooked then quick-frozen to lock the goodness in.

Chicken & Vegetable Casserole ÂŁ2.95

Special dietary needs like gluten-free or low calorie? It’s all available nocontract, no-commitment and with free delivery. Just order what you want, when you want.

Call us today for your FREE brochure

01792 459999 wiltshirefarmfoods.com

54

�Ic���e� � ��� M�n��

Above: Rebecca Dennis catches up with Lee Trundle at the Jack Swan awards night (apparently thats what she called him!!)

Right: Mr Phil Hoyles looking dapper Below: The brilliant Jeff Avery and Zoe and Tim from the amazing Poets on the Hill #POTH

Fixing Solutions half.ai 1 20/11/2014 00:03:04

C

M

Y

Phoenix Way, Garngoch Industrial Estate, Gorseinon, SA4 9WF With over 25 years experience in the Fixing & Fastening industru, we are pleased to offer advice on any project or application.

CM

MY

Large stocks of a wide range of products

CY

Trade accounts available (subject to status)

CMY

K

Ample parking • Delivery service available

Tel: 01792 895222

E-mail: info@fixing-solutions.co.uk Deal of Month

5% OFF HAND TOOLS!

For ALL Your Plumbing & Heating Requirements Comi boiler specialists Central heating and general plumbing Maintenance and repairs Central heating installation Combi conversions Full bathroom refurbishment All work fully insured and guaranteed.

All servicing and land lord reports at excellent price No job to small!

07539 057284 01639 702916

MoreThanLoftLadders half landscape.ai 1 08/10/2013 20:01:22

Deal of Month

20% OFF ALL WORK

56

Name the Car

1)

6)

2)

7)

3)

8)

4)

9)

5)

10) Answers on page 98

OVER 60,000

NEW & USED CAR PARTS

IN STOCK

pic-upspares.co.uk

58

More From Spense

A school teacher is explaining to her class the meaning of the words ‘moral of the story’. When she’s finished, she turns to one of her students; “Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes miss. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol.. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy Troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?”

“Stay away from Aunt Carol when she’s drinking.”

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller.

A zebra walks into a bar, barman says to the zebra, “You can’t come in here, you’re barred!”

Time for the Experts!!!!

Gould’s Vehicle Service & Repair

Servicing - Repairs - Tyres - Exhausts - Diagnostics - MOT Laser Tracking - Batteries - 24hr Recovery Service ***NOW OPEN*** @The former Autogloss Centre, 26-28 New Road, Ynysemeudwy Monday - Friday 8:30 am - 5pm & Saturday 8:30 am - 1pm

01792 869111 / 07786 874188 Deal of Month

Diagnostics Just £20. MOT Just £40. FreeTyre Check

ASPEN ASPEN SHEDS SHEDS && FENCING FENCING Made to Measure Sheds Any Specification Any Size Any Design We also do:-

Gates, Fences, Log Cabins, Wooden Garages, Doors, Summerhouses, Trellises, Picnic Tables, Benches, Decking, Bird Tables, Rabbit Hutches & More

Family Run Business www.aspenshedsandfencing.co.uk

01792 814141

Deal of Month

FREE Planter with any shed over ÂŁ400

60

J��e� B� S��n�� Signs Sign in a shoe repair store: We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.

Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

In a Podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels.

At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.

On a Plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On another Plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

On an Electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.` Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.

In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.` In the front yard of a Funeral Home: Drive carefully. We'll wait.` In a Chicago Radiator Shop: Best place in town to take a leak.`

In a Non-smoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.

Sign on the back of Septic Tank Truck: Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises

On a Maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push.

On another Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

475 Llangyfelach Road Brynhyfred Swansea SA5 9LR 01792 464958

Info@truehair.co.uk www.truehair.co.uk

Tip of the Month

from Upland Computers

Turn Off Helpful Tips

If you have been using Windows 10 for a little while, chance are you have already been pestered by notifications on how to use your new operating system.

Microsoft has included a number of prompts and tips which appear at regular intervals from the new unified Notifications tab.

But if you would prefer to work distraction-free – or simply the quirks and hidden features in your OSPCRESCUESHOP on your own – then here’s how to disable the notifications.

Navigate to Settings within your Start Menu, click System and look for the Notifications and Actions tab.

Click on the Notifications and Actions tab and find the switch that reads Show Me Tips About Windows, then turn it off

9 Dillwyn Street, Swansea City Centre, SA1 4AE

01792 456717

07767 163029 / info@uplandscomputers.co.uk

Business & Home site support CCTV Installations Internet Cafe

MAC Repair & Service Centre' SMART PHONE REPAIRS Broken Screens Tablets Game Consoles

REPAIRS & MAINTENACE OF ALL COMPUTERS!!

NEW AND RECONDITIONED COMPUTERS SOLD!

FREE DELIVERY WITH THIS AD!!

OFFER OF * THE MONTH

HOOVER VT915, 1500 rpm, 9kg load, white £259 or while stock lasts, just

£239 with this

advert!!

*offer ends July 31st 2015

3 Castle Close, Phoenix Way, Swansea Enterprise Park, Swansea, SA7 9FH

01792 516000

www.enterprise2000.net

64 Jack Sounds Hello and welcome to the 2nd Jack Sounds column.

Thanks to everybody who got in touch after the first one.

As space in the magazine is limited we’ve started a blog at http://jacksoundsblog.wordpress.com to allow us to cover more gigs and releases, and hopefully attract a bit more attention to the local music scene. Please have a look and, as always, get in touch if you want us to review your gig/music/event et cetera. The address is jacksounds@outlook.com As the football season draws to an end, the Swans securing safety with 3 games to go after the mathematical relegation of Villa, Sunderland AND Newcastle (lump on kids; I’m chucking this one out for free…Spurs for the league, Liverpool nowhere…I know, I know) so the festival season begins – and this May we’ve got a huge treat being put on in the Liberty, with two of the most successful Welsh bands in recent history putting on a massive, all-day show that I’m looking forward to as much as a week-late giro (Yeah, I’m that old)… the Manics and Super Furry Animals! A grand day out, indeed! I can’t wait for that one.

There’s another quality show going on in Sin City, on April 22nd, where BBC6s Craig Charles will be doing a funk and soul DJ set. Tickets are available for £15 from Derricks Records, Sin City and See Tickets and I’m hopefully (I have no doubt in my mind, honest) going to be able to get a quick chat with the man himself on the day of the show, so look out for the results of that meeting of minds in the next issue.

I wanted to mention both these gigs in reference to The Last Word section of this months’ column, which argues for the organisation of a free festival on Swansea Bay, as a way of a) allowing local acts to play in front of larger crowds, b) making a sackful of money for our impoverished local coffers, and c) taking advantage of the natural beauty of our much underused bay. This could be a wonderful summer (you never know), and it’d be a shame to waste it. I’ve done some back-of-a-fagbox calculations and reckon the whole thing could be arranged for about 6 grand…so if anyone has that kind of money lying around and wants to get involved, please get in touch! JS

THE LITTLE INTERVIEW – Sarah Passmore Sarah Passmore is one of the (if not the) best young guitarists playing in Swansea right now, and is well worth a listen for anyone who likes to hear beautiful, rhythmic, finger-style, acoustic guitar. Blessed with incredible technique and a soaring, soulful voice, Sarah is a captivating performer whose range and depth never ceases to amaze.

1) Who are the best band ever?

That’s a huge question, man. I don’t know if I’m even qualified to answer it, there are so many phenomenal bands out there and I’m sure I’ve barely skimmed the surface. As a musician, I sort of feel obligated to have a really well thought out response, based on technical ability within the band, interplay, sound, material, impact on the scene... as it stands, David Bowie is the most listened to artist in my iTunes library and I can’t argue with that – although I saw the John Mayer Trio play a few years ago and that gig still sets the bench mark for live performance, for me.

2) Best album ever?

It’s probably been a toss-up between “Bryter Layter” – Nick Drake and “Blue” – Joni Mitchell, although “Songs in the Key of Life” – Stevie Wonder could put a smile on even the most botoxed of faces.

3) Best song ever?

The guitarist in me is screaming “Passionflower” – Jon Gomm, but anybody who’s ever heard “Strange Fruit” performed by Billie Holiday will know just what a piece of music can be capable of... Haunting 4) If you could be in any band, alive or dead - who would it be?

The Cat Empire have a great time on stage, make some awesome noise and seem like the kind of people I’d totally get on with. I’d love a little bit of that.

5) Tell me a joke.

Your mother is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.

Morriston Workingmans Club 11 Slate Street, SA6 8AA

Bingo: Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Twice Sunday

Sky sports Multi-screen on LARGE screens

Live Racing Every Afternoon

NON- Members Welcome Function Room Available to Hire

Quiz Night Every Sunday:

Team Quiz in evening. Open Quiz in morning

Ladies & Mens Darts & Pool Teams New Players always welcome

Snooker Table

Great Acts Every Saturday!

Saturday 16th April K.J. Superb Female Vocalist Saturday 23rd April Mark Wilks.

Great Vocalist Saturday 30th April Sidney Ellis.

Great Male Vocalist

66

Gig Review

GIG REVIEW: LOST TUESDAY SOCIETY & TOM EMLYN WILLIAMS – THE GEORGE, 17TH FEBRUARY Ok, I won’t lie to you: I hate St. Patricks Day. There, I said it…and…I feel purged; “Blasphemy!” I hear you cry, “What’s not to like about drinking shed-loads of freezing cold Guinness and pandering to the alcoholic tendencies of our Celtic cousins while wearing a massive and stupid hat shaped a bit like a shamrock?” Well, aside from the obvious issue that you might run into some pissed American tourist claiming Irish heritage because one of their great-great-great grandfathers once got battered by a navvy in a pub that had a picture of Dublin on the wall, it’s just another one of those days (like Christmas, or when the Queen visits) that you got to be seen to be enjoying yourself, otherwise you’re some kind of straight-laced, party-pooping square, hot dog, daddi-o….what? Am I in the fifties now? Where was I? Ah, yes: slagging off St. Patricks day, like some kind of jerk…I suppose, in its defence, at least it’s not as bad as Beaujolais day, which is a totally made-up celebration designed solely to empty the purses of middle-aged, middle-class women, and their daughters – while giving them in return the questionable freedoms of slugging back sour, immature wine, losing a pair of shoes and getting bright red puke all down the front of a nice, new dress.

were watching the Liverpool Vs Man Utd game with silent, tense enthusiasm – were there for the music. The tills sang their approval.

I arrived early and watched the sound-check with a pint and a mate. The place was filling up quick, so we grabbed a seat about half-way back, opposite two other fellas who looked like they had had no hang-ups at all about celebrating St. Patricks’ day, and with vigour. They were very willing and even seemed pleased to talk to us, and – when they found out I was reviewing the gig for Jack Sounds – spent a considerable amount of time giving me the hardsell on something they’d come up with called the “Dylan Thomas Car Boot and Dogging Festival”. I’m not messing about: these two beauts – who I won’t name for moral and legal reasons – claimed it was within their power and, indeed, in all of our collective interests to arrange such an event…they even went so far as to insist that the people of Swansea cried out for such a thing and would welcome it with open arms...but I felt their argument was a bit uncon-

That was a bit harsh, too…but, in MY defence: it hasn’t stopped raining in three months, the English won a grand slam, the gas and leccy bill from the winter is overdue and Vodafone are hounding me for money I don’t have…so, forgive me if I seem a little snappy.

This St. Patricks day I was looking forward to more than most though, mainly because I was going to see one of my favourite bands play, in a place I hadn’t been to since I was unceremoniously ejected from there about 8 years ago for singing karaoke in a manner guaranteed to divide opinion (at the top of my voice; drunk; badly) and – alongside all this joy and opportunity to reminisce – I also didn’t have to go to work the next day, so could righteously enjoy myself without undue fear of the nagging headache and ponderous bowel movements that usually follow a good session on the black stuff. So we begin:

vincing, so I remained carefully neutral and unmoved. In the end, exasperated, I told them I was all for it – provided no dogs were harmed.

You got to have standards.

The George is on Walters Rd, opposite and up the hill a bit from The Tenby. The place is done out in that interior-decor style best described as “proper boozer”. There are booths, lots of tables and round-backed pub chairs, a little stage one end and a nice long bar. The Guinness (which is all I drank) is priced at £3.25, which isn’t bad these days, and the bar staff were welcoming, efficient and friendly.

I noticed that they were slightly taken aback at first by the habits and attire of a few of the happy folk who’d descended on their pub for the night, but soon adjusted to new realities as the money started flying over the bar and it became apparent that most of the people in there on a cold Thursday night, mid 6 nations – aside from a couple who

Thankfully, our conversation was cut short by the first musical act of the evening taking the stage in the form of a slender, dark-haired young man called Tom Emlyn Williams. Accompanying himself on an acoustic guitar, he launched into a cover of The Kinks “Lazy Sunday”, done in what can only be described as (and I say this as the greatest of compliments) a sort of lounge-jazz cabaret style. Ok, now I know you’re imagining some sort of cheesy, Butlins-style nightmare, but it wasn’t like that at all! It was basically like Neil Hannon (out of that Divine Comedy band) doing Bob Dylan songs, and who wouldn’t want to hear that? The guy was great, actually, and he grew more on me as his set went on. There were a few more

PIZZAS

KEBABS

SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN

BURGERS

GRILLS

KEBAB PLATTERS £8.00 CHICKEN DONER, LAMB DONER, BBQ WINGS (x4) SALAD, POTATO WEDGES & CAN OF POP

WE DELIVER FROM £1.50 MINIMUM ORDER £8

BUY ANY 2 PIZZAS...

2 x 9” £9.99 2 x 12” £12.99 2 x 14” £14.99

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 4PM TO MIDNIGHT OPEN BANK HOLIDAYS 103-104 CLASE ROAD, MORRISTON, SA6 8DY 01792 79 53 53 / www.babakebab.co.uk

JJ’s Fish Bar

01792 791235

103-104 clase rd, morriston, sa6 8dy

68

Gig Review

covers and a few originals, all done in this loose, laconic, jazzy, easy style that brought to mind (mine, at least) Sinatra busking outside Glastonbury after a few toots on a suspicious looking roll-up. I could hear trombones in my head. He got out the harmonica and gave it some welly, did a Pogues song, thanked everyone profusely and buggered off without fuss, for a drink. I liked him. Go see him.

The main event of the night was Lost Tuesday Society, a band I interviewed in the last issue, who are – in case anyone wants to accuse me of favouritism – pretty much my favourite band in Swansea at the minute. I love them and freely admit it, so reviewing their gig in the second column is pretty much par for the course…and, as mentioned in the interview last month, they’re recording a second album at the minute, which I’m pretty sure I’ll be reviewing in these pages when it comes out…but I’ll give you poor people a break from them next month, I promise…no, I will! I’m a professional...

The band took the stage at 10:00 and started without ceremony. It struck me, immediately, that they looked and sounded very professional and well-rehearsed, which I felt the need to write down in my notebook. I was relatively sober at this point, so we can assume I was still a credible witness. My notes, however, tell a somewhat different story, as it appears that I may have got a little side-tracked and carried away sometime after a trip to the toilet half-way through their set. I’m not entirely sure why, but it seemed to be a high-water point in my coherency. My memories are somewhat dim from there on, so I’ve decided it might actually be easier and more factually accurate to reprint a slightly annotated version of the scrawl in my notebook, in the hope that it can more honestly tell the story of the next couple of hours better than I can. I do recall there was a brief, good-natured on-stage argument for an interval which wasn’t granted but, aside from that and pleas for more beer, the band played through and I, apart from the aforementioned quick trip for a slash, sat down the front, sharing a table with a different companion from earlier on.

I was certainly close to the action.

My new friend was a confident, cultured, educated, rabid young man of arts who had a far different and more pressing set of needs to be accommodated than my friends of earlier on. He felt a great urge and even duty to contribute to my budding saga in any way that felt right, and more than once I had to reproach him savagely for attempting to assume total control. I paid him back later on by pinning him in a doorway and reciting poetry at him while he shrieked at me to slow down but, for now, he was force of nature whose scrofulous offerings would be carelessly scattered through my notes like a benign yet lingering disease...as you shall see.

JS NOTES (LTS@THE GEORGE, 17th March) KEY – FS: Felix Subway (vocals/guitar), FM: Flipsy McCaw

(vocals/guitar), DB: Darran Browning (vocals/guitar), DINK: Darren Beynon (bass) Look like pros. First song “I see through you”; massive sound; delicacy therein; use the 3 guitars well...really full sounding, like an undulating well – and those harmonies! Something in the air, and the drummer is a big part of it. “Constant state of...” - sounds as good as ever. Good groove, comfortable.

I do love this band, mind. “She’s gone” next; take a seat at the front, loud enough to distort the ears. “Fabricate”: FS song - or at least he’s on lead vocals. Big chorus: “maybe this all comes easy to you”, less folky, more angular, more rock. [At this point my pen and notebook were seized by my companion] BEWARE: THEY FLY OVER HEDGES WITH CORN IN THEIR MOUTHS. BEWARE! THEY ARE THE TREE CUTTERS. [Notes cont...] ...like Franz Ferdinand channelling Bowie doing Fleetwood Mac. Next song, FS: “Reminds me of Blind Melon. I like Blind Melon”. Damn, this is good; effortless pop majesty. FM and DB sing unison throughout, like one voice. This song is like a graduation, a statement of intent...an amalgamation of all that came before it...what’s it called? Then they play “Gold”, which is probably the best one so far. There’s a feeling of tension in this tune; the flute floats like an accusation, like a cloud of unanswered questions. Then [my companion] loses his phone and all sorts of chaos breaks loose. What? Shut up you schwein, I’m trying to watch the band. Next song: “Fire”. By this point whole pub won over. Latecomers stand in a corner, craning for a view. From 3ft you can hear how much DB does: all sorts of contra-rhythms that under-pin everything; riffs that lay in wait, spiralling to the surface when needed; “Spaniard”, another song where the 3 guitars all have something to do...layered, multi-faceted sound. It all comes together, but the PA is starting to break up. [notebook seized again] THEREIN LIES YOUR OWN DISCREPANCY [Notes cont...] Next song new, learned lyrics this afternoon, bass-heavy, swing – what’s it called? Straightens up, not as well-rehearsed as the rest, kind of gospel chorus, best vocals thus far. New album song? “The Devil in a B&B?” Maybe...“Oh no, there’s evil in the kitchen, so long it’s best to let it go”. Vocal ending. This song swings. There’s a riff driving it that shows its face seldom. “Merry Dance”; enter Dink – bass-players song. “I love camping” next; flute is brilliant, having fun with it.”Hunt you down” then, new, DB song(?), summers day, amazing guitar intro. Grown up. What a tune!

Sounds like The Eagles doing a track off The White Album.

Sung in thirds. Last song, can never remember the title (what a pro!): “Somebody catch me, Lord”? Magical sounding. Just FM at the start. Meanders lovely for an age, then kicks in, reminds you you’re alive. Sadness in the air, defiance at its core, and I’m so close I can hear the creak of the floorboards under the singers feet.

I hope that clears everything up. It was a great night and nobody made me wear a silly hat. I got home late, drunk and happy, and slept flatulently till the following afternoon like a hibernating bear. Perfect. Vive le nocturne. JS

WELDING GASES IN STOCK

Call for prices!

0800 133 7256 First Fill Half Price!

230 Bar - 50 Litre Cylinders Argonmix Light, Medium & Heavy a d m in c h a rg e s - D e liv e ry a v a ila b le Pure Oxygen & Pure Argon

Rental Callor Deposit Options.

41 for prices!

41F r e e c o l l e c ti o n - N o

We won’t be beaten on price!

F r e– e cspeak o l l e c ti o to n - our N o afriendly d m i n c h a team r g e s - Dfor e l i vthe e r y abest v a i l a brates! le No call centres

Free collection - No admin charges - Delivery available Find us at: Elba Park, Bay Studios, Fabian Way, Swansea, SA1 8QJ www.safegascylinders.co.uk/industrial-gas-sales

Rainbow Business Centre, Phoenix Way, Swansea Enterprise Park 8am-2pm Monday - Friday

Home Made Daily Specials

Home Made Pies

Best Breakfasts

PLUS: Costa Coffee’s, Drinks, Snacks, Eat in or Takeaway

70 Album Review ALBUM REVIEW – GREENMAILER – “SCATTERED ON THE MILE” (SILAS RECORDS) Greenmailer are a three piece band comprising of Steve Ahearne on vocals and guitar, Mark Roberts on bass and vocals and Hywel Griffiths on drums and backing vocals.

The album was recorded by Dan Angelow at Pitch Black Studios over a period of months, and I was lucky enough to hear a few tracks off the album as it was being recorded...but I was unaware of the depth of their accomplishment until a copy of the finished CD was dropped into my grubby mitts last month. This is a serious piece of work, my friends – I kid you not.

I’ve seen Greenmailer live a good few times, and they’re as heavy as block of granite dropped through the roof of a shot-tower, so it came as a surprise to hear their album open with a delicate, sparse piano piece entitled “Gathered”. The production is superb, all hisses and atmospheric dissonance. It’s actually a bit of an unsettling and claustrophobic way to kick off an album, which is fine by me. Second track “The Man Who Was Never There” gives you a much better idea of what they’re about, though: huge riffs, massive drums and heavy, distorted bass power along under a killer vocal melody shared between Steve and Mark.

One of the interesting things about the band is that both Steve and Mark take lead vocal duties on different songs at different points, which gives their music a depth and variety and brings a great melodic edge to proceedings. Their combined vocals remind me a bit of the Layne Staley/Jerry Cantrell twin-vocal attack of Alice in Chains, and there’s definitely a big grunge influence on the album as a whole – but it would be wrong to say that they’re confined by that genre because there’s a lot more to Greenmailer than big muff (a guitar pedal; calm yourselves) riffs and strangled vocals. They have BIG choruses, bigger dynamic shifts and bits of unapologetic weirdness. They’re definitely themselves; you can say that without fear of contradiction.

Another thing thing about the album that stands out for me is how ‘hooky’ it is; despite the noise and chaos, every track has some kind of ear-worm part that sneaks into your head and takes up residence there. The chorus of “Catalina”, for example, has been in my head for months now, and the repeated listens I’ve done for this

review have ensured it’ll stay there a lot longer, along with the “woo-ooh-oohs” in “Staple”, the weird- vocal shifts in “FEAR” and the monster chorus in “Freedom”.

I must confess at this point that I actually played guitar in an embryonic version of Greenmailer (they kicked me out because I was too handsome, honest), so I was gratified to hear my favourite tune from that brief period “Copelandia”, finished, apocalyptic and massive, with slide guitar from producer Dan Angelo scattered (on the mile) all over it like barbed-wire candyfloss. I think that track encapsulates what I like about this band: they’re heavy – of that there is no doubt – but there’s always a melody, always a hook and always, always, underneath it all, underpinning the whole thing, a sexy, slinky groove.

I reckon you could dance to these boys, no messing.

They close the album off with an acoustic track “Scattered on the mile” – a strange, shifting and undulating track that nonetheless is getting stuck in my head even as I write this. Greenmailer keep on doing this to me!

I start listening to the song, and I think “Damn, this is heavy. I like it.”, but then a part of that heaviness reveals itself to be a really catchy melody, almost pop-like in its shimmering iridescence, and I’m forced to re-evaluate them yet again.

They’re bloody good, and I look forward to hearing more material by them. I strongly suggest you get his album if you’re a fan of noisy rock music, like I am. If I had to make any criticism (which I do, because I’m a critic), I’d say that sometimes in their efforts to get the biggest possible sound on the instruments, some of the dynamics suffer. I’d like to hear them do something with really complex vocals on it, because they’ve all got great voices and I’d like to hear more of them.

I can’t finish this review without mentioning the artwork on the album. Designed by Dawn Louise Sims of Sunrise Illustration, it depicts a strange, cartoonish landscape that reminds a bit of the style of (Japanese Anime pioneers) Studio Ghibli, of whom I am an unabashed fan.

The album is available on itunes and various other outlets. Head over to http://www.greenmailermusic.com for all the info.

Greenmailer will be playing at The Scene, Swansea on 14th April and The Masons, Llanelli on 15th April.

72 Non-Gig Review NON-GIG REVIEW – “ENTHUSIASM IS CRITICAL” It’s a bit of a cheap shot, this one...but, to paraphrase the Bard of Cwmdonkin and echo the sentiments etched in stone outside our railway station, ambition is indeed critical – but, without enthusiasm, ambition counts for nothing. It’s like owning a really fast car that you don’t know how to drive, or trying to build a football team around a player who isn’t a team player (Hi Jonjo!). It’s as pointless as an inflatable dartboard filled with poison gas...or trying to deliver the Sunday papers in a stealth bomber.

To be a little clearer, I actually intended to review a few more gigs this month, but the ones I did go to were in general so poorly attended that I didn’t feel I could write an honest review without resorting to scathing indictments, which wouldn’t be helpful to anyone. The next question, obviously, is WHY these gigs were so badly attended – but I’ll be damned if I can come up with any kind of reasonable answer to that one without musing on certain dark aspects of our regional psyche and probably alienating half the people reading this, so I won’t bother with reasons, but rather concentrate on possible solutions. Of course, it might just be because everybody’s skint, right? Or that I went to the wrong gigs? Whatever; let me know.

Anyway, many years ago, before the rise of smart phones and Simon Cowell, back when Rolf Harris could get a gig doing portraits of royalty and Jimmy Savile was just a creepy, washed-up TV star, I used to be a promoter (a half-soaked, half-cut and badly organised one, but a promoter nonetheless), so I can speak with some experience about that horrible feeling that creeps up your spine like a swarm of hungry leeches when you realise that the event you’ve poured all your hard work and effort into organising is likely to end up costing you more to put on than you’re making on the door. They call this, in the trade, “losing your shirt” – and it hurts; not just financially, but in terms of your own personal drive and

desire to put on more such events. Why would you keep on doing something that is financially, emotionally and mentally ruinous? Are you some kind of Liverpool fan?

What’s wrong with you?

Yes, well...and moving on...as usual we’re short on space and long on gibberish, but here are a few quick ideas to try and revitalise things and grab some of the Wind Street crowd, as well as reaching out to those who are sat in the house smoking heavily and worrying about money. Feel free to cut this out and pin it to the till... oh, and if anyone feels like screaming at me for being an idealistic fool who has no idea what it takes to run a business, I’d just like to make it clear that I think you’re entirely right, but I’m still entitled to my hare-brained opinions as a long-term customer. I’m also prepared to learn the harsh realities, so if anyone would care to fill in the blanks, email jacksounds@outlook.com.

1) SELL CHEAP DRINK – There’s a strange attitude I’ve occasionally come across that seems to me to be somewhat counter-productive; it runs something like this: “If you sell cheap drinks you get cheap customers”.

Well, maybe – but can I let you in on a secret gleaned from many years of drinking at gigs? Aside from the kind of people who like craft ale, fancy cocktails or pretending they’re in some kind of rain-soaked version of Monte Carlo, the majority of punters just want cheap,

Taking Bookings Now!!

07855 759 527

Keith & Tracy

welcome you to Neath Club House

74 Non-Gig Review drinkable lager and cheap, drinkable spirits and mixers.

We don’t care if all the taps are off, as long as there’s a good supply of cans of cold Oranjeboom and plenty of ice and cheap rum. Charging £3.85 for a bottle of warm Sol is not going to win you any friends in a recession, nor is it likely to encourage commitment. Always make sure you’ve got a budget option, is all I’m saying. I’d much rather pay £5 for 3 bottles of crap Carlsberg than £4 for a pint of crap Fosters, and I’m not alone. Like it or not, for the vast majority of people in this country, going out means having a few jars, and if it’s costing you more than half a days wages to buy a round, then it starts to become less of a leisure activity and more of a fools’ errand.

2) DON’T CHARGE ON THE DOOR/HAGGLE – Again, this isn’t likely to win me many friends in the pub trade, but I’ve always maintained that if – halfway through the night – you realise that the place is probably going to be dead, the best thing to do is either stop charging people to get in, or start making deals; for example, if you’re faced with four people who balk at the idea of paying £4 to get in, why not tell them they can all come in for a tenner, rather than see them all walk off into the night? Principles can be costly, and there’s nothing less appealing to a floating drinker than an empty pub.

3) DON’T RELY ON FACEBOOK – Because, while it’s a wonderful way of communicating with people en masse, it is by its nature a passive form of communication, and is still no substitute for actually going outside and talking to people. It’s EASY to ‘commit’ to something via the click of a mouse, but that doesn’t actually mean anything. Get fliers printed and wander round the place looking for people who look like they might be interested in what you have to offer. Give them the flier. Smile. Talk. Keep walking. This goes for the bands as well as the promoters. Get out of the damned house.

Now, I’m a freaky-looking fella who looks exactly like the kind of person who watches live music, but no one

ever wanders up to me on the street and says “Hey bud, great show on tonight at The Scene. My mates bands is on. Eight o’clock.* Have a flier.”

4) DON’T PUSH YOUR LUCK – This is a tricky one, so bear with me. This is directed to the bands as well as the venues and promoters, because everyone gets a bit carried away at times. First off, bands: you don’t need to play every week if you’re just gigging round a small(ish) city; there’s no point and you’ll never get the crowds out. One gig every month or so is about right, in my experience...of course, you may disagree, and be packing them in four nights a week; if so, marvellous – and more power to you. To the promoters: The right number of bands to watch on a night out, in my opinion, is THREE – maybe four if they’re playing short sets or you’ve got a really late licence. Any more than that it gets chaotic and you (the punter) spend most of your time watching soundchecks. I think the idea is that more bands equals more meat in the seats, but it never seems to work out like that. Having 7 bands trying to play between 7 and midnight is just madness, if you ask me. It’s not enjoyable for the audience or the bands, and the soundman will probably end up exploding at some point, which isn’t healthy and may well lead to a costly legal case. Chill out and concentrate on quality.

And that’s...that. I’m sure there were plenty of great gigs on this month that I missed out on, so please drop me a line and tell me how wrong I am... because, as my beautiful fiancé would surely tell you, I love that. JS * “Eight o’clock” is, by the way, a

Daytime menu

1 course £4.50 2 courses £6.50 3 courses £8.50

01792449819 / 57 Church Road, Llansamlet www.ploughandharrowllansamlet.co.uk

Serving food 7 days a week

Monday Night Grill Night!

Buy 1 Get 1 FREE!!

Cheapest Item Free

2X 10oz Rump Steak and Chips Just £9.60 Wednesdays @ The Plough & Harrow

Check Out Website For This Weeks Acts

PLUS @ 9pm

Warm Up With Our REAL Log Fire

76 The Last Word THE LAST WORD: “REQUIEM FOR A VIPER” (THE SWANSEA FREE FESTIVAL) A question: Did you ever go to a Viper on The Beach?

No? Any idea what I’m talking about? No? Well, what I’m talking about is that around 5/6 years ago a group of like-minded individuals used to organise a day and evening of live music on Swansea beach, just in front of the car park opposite Singleton Hospital – usually on the last Saturday of August. It was never an ‘official’ event – never sanctioned by the council or any other authority – but it seemed to those involved (and to those who attended) to be a wonderful way of enjoying both our beautiful bay and the wealth of musical talent that we have in this city, all the while raising money for a good cause…and having a raving party, of course.

There was no entry fee, no fences, all welcome. At least 10 bands would play from around midday till about 10pm. Start and finish times – as well as set lengths – were open to debate and interpretation, and scheduling was somewhat fluid, to say the least – but that was part of the charm.

a group of boys who came down with an ambulance they’d just refitted for a “Ramshackle Rally” to Poland.

They’d installed two beer taps and a bar in the back, and were selling ice-cold pints of lager to all and sundry for £2 a pop. They sold two whole barrels, and again, all the profits went to charity; it was, to risk repeating myself: bloody wonderful.

It was also completely illegal. For an event like that you need to have, at the very least: public liability insurance; an events licence; security staff – all kinds of bureaucratic piffle. So, every year, the police would come down.

They’d park their Landrover about 200 yards away and wait for the organisers to come down for a ‘little chat’.

The chats would usually – so I’m told, anyway – run a bit like this:

C

M

Y

CM

MY

Police: What’s going on here, boys? A bit big for a beach party, eh?

Viper: It’s a free day of live music, officers. Want to join

CY

CMY

K

“Excuse me, what time are [insert band name here] on?”

“What? Are they all here!? Get them on then, before we lose one!”

As soon as the generator and PA were set up and working, the bass-heavy groove of “Dub Side of The Moon” by Easy All-Stars (the Viper on The Beach anthem) would be cranked up loud – as a kind of announcement that the show had begun. The “stage” would have been built the evening before, usually by the simple but heavy process of shovelling a ton and a half of sand into a big, flat lump and piling pallets on top. There was actually a wooden platform there that was used as a stage for the first event, but it was burned down by some utter vandals at some point before the second year.

Acoustic acts would be on the menu for most of the afternoon, but the music would get louder and heavier as the sun went down. Every year the sun shone all day like it was pre-ordained by God – or even Alan Curtis, Himself. It was wonderful. The organisers used to buy slabs of beer from the wholesalers, fill plastic rubbish bins with ice (collected from fast food outlets in huge quantities, for free) and sell the cans for a pound a go, with all the profits going to charity. One year there was

C

M

C

M

Y Y

CM

us when you’re off-duty? All profits go to charity. Free Tibet. Who doesn’t want a Free Tibet?

P: Hmm. You got a licence for this? Got insurance?

V: Nope. Didn’t think we needed that [flat-out lie] but it’s all under control, don’t worry about that. We’re expecting about 100 people, we got bins set out for all the rubbish, and it’ll all be finished by 10pm.

P: (looking round at the happy families, laughing children and frolicking dogs) Okey doke, but if we get any complaints we’ll shut it all down in a heartbeat and lock you clowns up. Understood?

V: There’ll be no complaints, boys, worry not.

P: There’d better not be. Have a good one.

V: We’ll try.

P: (in true ‘Columbo’ style)...just one more thing: we’ll

CM

MY MY

CY CY

CMY

K

CMY

K

The Pink Geranium Herbert Street,, Pontardawe ,

C

M

Y

M

Wednesday Nights 8pm

N I HT ThuG rsdays 8

Free Food at Halftime

MY

Y

MY

K

y

Pink Geranium half landscape.ai 1 29/03/2015 14:08:40

:30

BINGO - 2.30pm BAND - 6.00pm KARAOKE live musicafter fromband

fancy screen dress big RUGBY & FOOTBALL Every Friday With 1st prize Pink Geranium half landscape.ai 1 29/03/2015 14:08:40

Disco The Pink Geranium Herbert Street,, Pontardawe The Pink Geranium Herbert Street,, Pontardawe DJ CHRIS From

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

Jamaican Jills N Every Day N IIGGHHT Bed8pm & BreakfastT Nights 4pm - 7pmWednesday Wednesday Nights 8pm

from £35 per night

April- 2.30pm BINGO £2.50 A PINT! Saturday BINGO 2.30pm 30th- aparthy BAND 6.00pm BAND - -6.00pm Grolsch £2.20 A PINT! may

KARAOKEafter afterband band KARAOKE

saturday 7th this river sunday 8th the boffs saturday 14th stoned faced souls friday 20th silver saturday 21st expecting company sunday 22nd like a lion

big screen screen RUGBY RUGBY & big & FOOTBALL FOOTBALL

78 The Last Word be back down here 7 o’clock tomorrow morning, right?

And if there’s any rubbish left lying about we’ll do you for fly-tipping. Got it?

V: Got it.

And there never was any rubbish left lying about. And there never were any complaints. When you know you’re onto a good thing, you don’t mess it up, right? God, I miss Viper on The Beach. And it got me thinking: why aren’t there any legally sanctioned events like that on Swansea bay? The council could make a natural fortune.

Why don’t they approach a couple of promoters (or even the original Viper crew – who are still around, I happen to know, pretending to be legitimate and mature businessmen, holed up in obscurity in the Swansea Valleys) with a proposal to organise such an event? Imagine getting an email like this from Swansea Council, one fine morning in May: “Right, you nagging swine: We’ve got you a budget of £6000. You can book one slightly-well known act for about half of that. That’ll drag out the kind of people who wouldn’t bother for unknown bands. Spend a grand or so on hiring a good sound system, a small stage and an engineer – use local businesses exclusively, please; the economy round here could do with a fillip. Get half-adozen local acts on, give them £200 each. We’ll sort out

the insurance and the security. Don’t bother charging entry; we’ll make our money back, and more, on the mark-up on the drinks, which we’ll source from local wholesalers anyway. Try and get in touch with a few of those new breweries, too – see if they fancy putting a couple of stalls together. We’ll put it out to tender for pitches for the chip vans and ice cream vans and all that sort of thing; make a real day of it – fun for all the family sort of thing. Cool? Now, go and get it organised and I want it the plans and schedule on my desk here in a month” Now, after the stunned silence that would inevitably follow such an uncharacteristically coherent and brutally unforgiving speech emanating forth from a local authority mouthpiece, I can guarantee that of all the above would be organised, and pretty damn quick, too. In fact, I’d like to publicly state that I myself will organise such an event, provided somebody else a) stumps up the coin and b) takes care of all the legal stuff. I am only one man, probably.

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

What? Yes! The Swansea Free Festival! THE PEOPLE CRY VIPER! VIPER! VIPER!

GOLD AWARD SAUSAGE, GOLD AW A ARD BACON , GOLD AWARD GAMMON The Award Winning Butchers Always Many Offers Available from your 23 Awards in National Championship Multi-Award Winning Master Butcher True Taste Awards: Peoples Choice. Top Butchers in South Wales FREE LOCAL DELIVERIES EVERY FRIDAY 2nd Best Butchers in ALL of Wales 1st and 3rd in Royal Welsh Awards

PONTY BUTCHERS 71 Herbert Street, Pontardawe. Tel: 01792 863197

You’ve Tried The Rest, Now Try The Best

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

K

Issue #40 FREE

Front Cover by Stand Back Art Jack Swan Magazine Issue #38 Cover By Stand Back Art

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE

AWARDS 2016 £550

£895

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

Doors

French Doors

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

K

MON

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

C

M

Y

CM

MY

K

THE

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

CY

Issue #43 FREE

CMY

Issue #33 FREE

I think they got the hint!

Issue #36 FREE

Issue #44 FREE

J

Pictures By Everything is Lovely:

4

M

Y

MY

CY

Swansea.

Jack Swan Magazine

C

CM

Nothing to Report Here!

Your Local TV Channel Coming Soon

CMY

r

Issue #44

K

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

UP TO 50% OFF

50%OFF 4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

From £17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

COMPOSITE DOOR

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From £795.00 From £995.00 From £1295.00 From £1595.00

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

From £1750.00

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR COMPOSITE DOOR

10 WINDOWS

Cost

£1746

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Y

CM

MY

* 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available ble *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available ***

Issue #37 FREE MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

01792 359244

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

Doors

£499

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

Jack Swan Issue #39

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

Issue #32 FREE

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

K

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

K

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Jack Swan Magazine

CMY

From £12,990.00

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

Issue #37

CY

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Issue #35 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Issue #41 FREE

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

UP TO

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

A Service Available Full Repair Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

t e l i o T t s Be ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

Front Cover by Stand Back Art

C

M

Y

CM

MY

Issue #43 FREE

CY

K

Issue #33 FREE

CMY

80

Issue #38

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

Doors

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

There once were some toilets with flash taps In a bar that is owned MbyON Magic Daps K They have padded doors And twinkling floors A place Trunds escapes from the papz #POTH Issue #40 Issue #44

I think they got the hint!

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

FREE

Issue #36 FREE

FREE

C

Winners: Cosmo

4

M

Y

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

CM

MY

CY

MY

Best Break

fast

Issue #44

K

Jack Swan Magazine

J

3rd Place: Yates Wine Lodge 2nd Place: Pink Geranium

Cover By Stand Back Art

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

CY

CMY

K

£11,495.00

From

£12,990.00

4MX3M

From

£13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From

£14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From

£17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

3rd Place: Sams Cafe 2nd Place: Mr B’s

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Issue #37 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

£895

£550

£1995

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244

www.mpnwindows.com

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

6 Windows

French Doors

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

Conservatories £6995

Doors

FINANCE AVAILABLE

£499

Mention This Ad When Ordering

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

THE

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

Jack Swan Issue #39

Winners: Cafe Espresso

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

2nd Kardomah

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

Bes t Co ffee 3rd Place: Starvin Jacks

Y

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

CM

Issue #32 FREE

MY

K

Winners: Uplands Tavern CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

From

4MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

AWARDS 2016

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

There once was an award for aIssue breakfast #35 FREE Which filled me with nothing but man lust The sausage was hard And covered in lard First thing in the morning, my needs must Everything is Lovely: #POTH Nothing to Report Here!

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

50%OFF

Issue #41 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

UP TO

Issue #37

UP TO 50% OFF Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

r

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

!

ya ers ve irt I’d

ew

Ja�� Sw�� Eat� F�o� I have a slight confession to make. Last issue when I ate vegetarian food in an Indian and made a slight deal about ‘trying being a Vegi’ ; I was actually in a bizarre time of my life where I wasn’t eating meat at all! It lasted the best part of a month and I actually freaked myself out; I woke up one morning and decided that I fancied getting slightly healthier; cut out beer and meat; and I did it!!

That was the slightly bizarre thing. The really, really bizarre thing was that I really enjoyed it. I loved eating different foods; the challenge of going through a day and eating three meals that consisted of no meat. At no point did I care in the slightest about the animals involved; they are put on this planet to be eaten! But I was eating healthier, cheaper and actually nicer food!

Anyway, I got that out of my system! What a weird month!!! I’m a meat eating MAN again!! Ring the chicken’s neck, cook it in some garlic and stick it on my plate!!!!! This issue I headed to Uplands; with Vegi!

The Kings Head Llangyfelach Road. 01792 773727

2 for £10

Extensive

or £5.50 each menu

Traditional Sunday Roast 12 - 3

Breakfast served from 8 - 12 Mon - Sat

Food Served All day

(Real Chips)

Childrens Play Area - Quality Cask Ales Function Room Available Extensive Car Park Facilities

Free Desert with

I like the Uplands. I have had a good few nights up there, it does really well with its limited amount of drinking establishments. It probably only has half a dozen licensed boozers but it somehow rivals Wind Street as the place to go on a night on the lash; although a slightly more upmarket ‘lash’.

The aim was to review Vietnam; the restaurant which bizarrely cooks food from Columbia! (not true). One of my favourite moment while doing this magazine was

Swansea till I die...

And after!

Complete Football Theme JACK SWAN Funeral FOOD GUIDE: From £2950 ADVERT HERE All inclusive including FROM £35 Hearse, Limo, Coffin and Cremation fees.

IN THE FOOD

GET YOUR Call to arrange your RESTAURANT OR DRINK pre-paid football PUB or CAFE INDUSTRY?? funeralREVIEWED

GET IN TOUCH 01792 771232 GET IN TOUCH

INFO@JACKSWAN.CO.UK www.john-edwardsfunerals.co.co.uk 01792 862129 Free Food Review

(sign up for

©LW

Front Cover by Stand Back Art Jack Swan Magazine Cover By Stand Back Art

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

Issue #38

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

Doors

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

Nominees Lost Tuesday Society A picture of creative sobriety K MON They write catchy tunes Are Musicians and loones They think Paolo Nutini’s bang tidy #POTH Issue #40

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

FREE

I think they got the hint!

Issue #36 FREE

Issue #44 FREE

J

3rd Place: The Somethings 2nd Place: Like a Lion

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A Service Available Full Repair Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

C

M

d n a B t s e B ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

Y

CM

MY

Issue #43 FREE

CY

K

Issue #33 FREE

CMY

82

4

M

Y

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

MY

CY

MY

Best Pie

Issue #44

K

Jack Swan Magazine

Winners: Raspberry Jam

C

CM

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

r

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

CY

CMY

K

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

From £12,990.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

3rd Place: Little Welsh Deli Pasties 2nd Place: Jersey Bakery

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Issue #37 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

£895

£550

£1995

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244

www.mpnwindows.com

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

6 Windows

French Doors

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

Conservatories £6995

Doors

FINANCE AVAILABLE

£499

Mention This Ad When Ordering

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

THE

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

Jack Swan Issue #39

Winners: Steak By Night

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

2nd Grill House, Wanuarlwydd

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

Bes t St eak 3rd Place: Pen Y Cae Inn

Y

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

CM

Issue #32 FREE

MY

K

Winners: Ron Evans Pies CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

AWARDS 2016

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

50%OFF

A choice between a pastieIssue or #35 pie FREE Ooo...that’s a hard choice...aye A little foil bowl And a big mouthful Who doesn’t like a pastry surprise.

Everything is Lovely: #POTH Nothing to Report Here!

Issue #41 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

UP TO

Issue #37

UP TO 50% OFF Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

!

ya ers ve irt I’d

ew

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A Service Available Full Repair Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

I think they got the hint!

FREE

Issue #36 FREE

Issue #44 FREE

Cover By Stand Back Art

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

Issue #38

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

Doors

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

Manning the bar like a Welsh Warrior The man is just notMO a Nworrier K He’ll give you your drinks Without an inkling of thinks Like a pilot landing a harrier #POTH Issue #40

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

n a m r a B Best Issue #43 FREE

Front Cover by Stand Back Art

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

K

Issue #33 FREE

CMY

84

J

3rd Place: Huw, Gwachel 2nd Place: Karl, Rock & Fountain 4

M

Y

Winner: Dai from JK’s Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

MY

CY

MY

Best Barma

id

Issue #44

K

Jack Swan Magazine

C

CM

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

CY

CMY

K

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

From £12,990.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

3rd Place: Jaymee Leigh from Mansleton Hotel 2nd Place: Danielle Thomas, Castle

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Issue #37 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

£895

£550

£1995

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244

www.mpnwindows.com

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

6 Windows

French Doors

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

Conservatories £6995

Doors

FINANCE AVAILABLE

£499

Mention This Ad When Ordering

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

THE

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

Jack Swan Issue #39

Winners: Pontardawe Inn

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

3rd Place: Travellers Well, Skewen 2nd Bridgend Inn, Birchgrove

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

Best Pu b Curry

Y

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

CM

Issue #32 FREE

MY

K

Winner: Dawn, Pontardawe Inn CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

AWARDS 2016

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

Issue #35 Keep your barmaids from London and FREE North Welsh barmaids are better of course Thoroughbred pedigree Pint pulling filigree Well done gals, love from POTH. Everything is Lovely: #POTH Nothing to Report Here!

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

50%OFF

Issue #41 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

UP TO

Issue #37

UP TO 50% OFF Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

r

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

!

ya ers ve irt I’d

ew

20% OFF

ARTIFICIAL GRASS!!

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

K

CMY

86

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A Service Available Full Repair Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

Front Cover by Stand Back Art

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE

Jack Swan Magazine

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

Issue #43 FREE

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

y r e w e r B Best

Issue #33 FREE

Issue #38

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

Doors

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

Leon liked a Real Ale for sure Copious amounts and settling the K score MON Of his prowess as lover Contradicted by his brother Stating ‘Mate, you couldn’t pull a fucking door.’ #POTH Issue #22 Issue #40 Issue #44

I think they got the hint!

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Front Cover By Humans

FREE

FREE

Issue #36 FREE

FREE

J

3rd Place: Mumbles Brewery 2nd Place: Gower Brewey

Cover By Stand Back Art

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

4

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

Best Golf C

ourse

Issue #44

K

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

UP TO 50% OFF

UP TO

50%OFF

CY

CMY

K

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

From £12,990.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

3rd Place: Langland Bay 2nd Place: Pontardawe Golf Course

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Y

Issue #37 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

£895

£550

£1995

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244

www.mpnwindows.com

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

6 Windows

French Doors

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

Conservatories £6995

Doors

FINANCE AVAILABLE

£499

Mention This Ad When Ordering

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

THE

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Jack Swan Issue #39

Winners: La Braseria

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

3rd Place: The George, Cwmtwrch 2nd Place: La Mancha, Neath

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

Nosh

CM

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

Best Po sh

Issue #32 FREE

MY

K

Winner: Neath Golf Course CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

r

Issue #35 There once was a guy in plus fours FREE Who did nothing by writhe on the floors Tho’ he had all his clubs He got nothing but snubs But that was just par for the course Everything is Lovely: #POTH Nothing to Report Here!

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Issue #41 FREE

AWARDS 2016

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

MY

Jack Swan Magazine

Y

CY

Issue #37

M

MY

Jack Swan Magazine

Winner: Tomos Watkins

C

CM

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

Gareth & Donna Welcome You To

The NEWTON

!

ya ers ve irt I’d

ew

Every Wednesday From 9pm Dog Friendly

C

M

Y

CM

MY

CY

K

Issue #33 FREE

CMY

88

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

Doors

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

Front Cover by Stand Back Art Jack Swan Magazine

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A Service Available Full Repair Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

There once was a pub with a garden Where your tan could gradually K darken MON A lovely sun trap You needed a cap An urban pub oasis heaven #POTH Issue #40

Issue #38

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

n e d r a G r e Best Be Issue #43 FREE

I think they got the hint!

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

FREE

Issue #36 FREE

Issue #44 FREE

J

3rd Place: Pink Geranium 2nd Place: Castellmare

Cover By Stand Back Art

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

4

M

Y

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

MY

CY

MY

Best Sunda y Lunch r

Issue #44

K

Jack Swan Magazine

Winner: Cross Keys, Swansea

C

CM

ack Swan Issue #40

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

50%OFF

CY

CMY

K

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

From £12,990.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

3rd Place: No Sign Bar 2nd Place: The George, Cwmtwrch

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Y

CM

Issue #37 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

£895

£550

£1995

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244

www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

6 Windows

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

Doors

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

FINANCE AVAILABLE

£499

Mention This Ad When Ordering

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

Jack Swan Issue #39

Winners: No Sign Bar

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

3rd Place: Pontardawe Inn 2nd Place: JK’s

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

Best P ub

Issue #32 FREE

MY

K

Winner: JK’s Briton Ferry CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

#35 Potato mashing seniors Issue FREE Sublime, whisking believers Vegetable cities Gravy splashed titties Doggy bags home for the retriever Everything is Lovely: #POTH Nothing to Report Here!

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

Issue #41 FREE

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

UP TO

Jack Swan Magazine

UP TO 50% OFF Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

THE

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

Issue #37

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

AWARDS 2016

Misted Glass Replacement

!

ya ers ve irt I’d

ew

Deal of Month

10% OFF MISTED GLASS REPLACEMENT

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

FREE

Jack Swan Magazine Issue #38

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

Cover By Stand Back Art

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

£550

£1995

£895

Doors

French Doors

6 Windows

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

This is a bit of sausage banter A girl only needs a Swansea Kbanger MON You can’t turn them down Golden brown A bit of Jack sausage glamour. #POTH Issue #40

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

A Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted 0% Finance Availa Buy Now, Pay Next Year FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

e g a s u a S Best ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

Front Cover by Stand Back Art

C

M

Y

CM

MY

K

CY

Issue #43 FREE

CMY

90

Issue #33 FREE

I think they got the hint!

Issue #36 FREE

Issue #44 FREE

Winner: Sams Cafe

4

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

Jack Swan Magazine

J

3rd Place: Brownsters, Clydach 2nd Place: Cafe on the Square, Pontardawe

Best Burge

r Van

Issue #44

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

There were 2 Jacks Penlan Issue from #41 UPSold TOhot dogs fromFREE their burger van 50%OFF They were covered with shrooms So Keith flew to the moon Where he sang Calon Lan with his Nan #POTH UP TO 50% OFF

From £12,990.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £17,990.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

Winner: Lexies, Llansamlet Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

Issue #37 FREE MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

01792 359244

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

French Doors

Doors

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Jack Swan Issue #39

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

C

M

Y

CM

MY

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

Issue #32 FREE

CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

K

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

3rd Place: The Beast, Pontardawe 2nd Place: Madawg, Crynant

Jack Swan Magazine

Price

Number of windows

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Issue #35 FREE

THE

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

Issue #37

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF

Jack Swan Magazine

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

r

AWARDS 2016

a rs e rt ’d

Best Football Shirt of the Week!

Wear your football shirt into Cutting Corner in Mumbles when you have your hair cut and not only will you get 50p off your haircut but the best shirt each week will have their picture in the window and right here in Jack Swan magazine.

Get your retro kit out!

Cutting Crew MUMBLES Gents and kids hair studio

Price List: Gents Cuts - £9.00 Student (under 16’s) - £8.00 / Under 5’s £4.50 - £6.50 Senior Citizens - Cut all over - £7.50.

Back & Sides £6.50 Shave all over - £7.00 / Beard Trim - £4

Opening Times Mon - Fri 9 - 5:50 Saturday 9 -5

w

Deal of Month

66 Newton Road, Mumbles, Swansea

01792 367136

50p off when you wear a football shirt!!

PLUS have your ears off if you wear a Cardiff one!!

Front Cover By Humans

Issue #22 FREE

FREE

Front Cover by Stand Back Art Jack Swan Magazine Issue #38

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

MPN full page right.ai 1 31/07/2015 14:43:26

I think they got the hint!

Issue #36 FREE

Issue #44 FREE

Cover By Stand Back Art

£895

£550

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

Doors

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

£499

FINANCE AVAILABLE

Mention This Ad When Ordering

There once was a pub by a Railway That’s always packed on aOmatch K day M N They let hooligans in Who drink plenty of gin Licensee a top bloke by the way #POTH Issue #40

Issue #34 FREE

Issue #38 FREE MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244 0800 8030821 www.mpnwindows.com

FREE VERTICAL BLINDS VER

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850 6 Windows £1995

A Service Available Full Repair Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted Buy Now, Pay Next Year 0% Finance Availa FREE Conservatory Design Serv otations Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com We only supply TOP UALITY Windows, Doors & Conservatories Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

A

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

s l a c o L t s Be ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

C

M

Y

CM

MY

Issue #43 FREE

CY

K

Issue #33 FREE

CMY

92

J

3rd Place: The Other Place, Pontardawe 2nd Place: JK’s, Briton Ferry 4

M

Y

Everything is Lovely: Nothing to Report Here!

MY

CY

MY

Best Chip S

hop

Issue #44

K

Jack Swan Magazine

Winner: The Queens Hotel

C

CM

ack Swan Issue #40

Neath Rd,Road, Swansea SA1 2JT8AP Unit182 2 Leckwith Cardiff CF11 (Opposite Liberty Stadium) Tel: 029 2050 8770 01792 359244

Pictures By www.surfpicworld.com MPN full page right.ai 1 04/10/2015 15:12:15

UP TO

50%OFF

K

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £13,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4MX3M

From £14,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

4MX3M

From £17,990.00

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

4 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

5 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

6 WINDOWS 7 WINDOWS 8 WINDOWS 9 WINDOWS

MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

UP TO 50% OFF Door

10 WINDOWS MAX 1 OPENER IN WHITE UPVC

Price

From

£795.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£995.00

WITH FANLIGHT

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1295.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1595.00

COMPOSITE DOOR

From

£1750.00

WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

Total amount payable

£48.50

£1746

£62.00

£2232

£2719

£75.53

£2719

£3205

£89.03

£3205

£3692

£102.55

£3692

£4178

£116.06

£4178

£4665

£129.58

£4665

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT QUALITY AND THE FOLLOWING AS STANDARD: THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS AND DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE.

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

SHOWROOM at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

36 monthly payments fixed at 0% finance

£2232

01792 359244 FREEPHONE 0800 803 0821 www.mpnwindows.com

UP TO 50% OFF

COMPOSITE DOOR

Cost

£1746

3rd Place: Roma Fish Bar 2nd Place: Charlos

KITCHENS & BATHROOMS

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

WALES NO 1 DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS

C

M

Y

CM

0% Finance Available *** * 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available

Issue #37 FREE

MPN half landscape.ai 1 26/04/2015 01:43:31

FREE VERTICAL VER BLINDS

CURRENT OFFERS SPECIAL OFFER £850

DREAM DOORS, FULLY FITTED FRONT £599, BACK £550

WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET?

Full Repair Service Available Fascias, Gutters & Downpipes Supplied & Fitted

AN AWARD WINNING FAMILY BUSINESS SINCE 1994

Open 9am to 7pm 7 days a week FREE ONLINE QUOTES AT www.mpnwindows.com

*** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Financ

ble *** 0% Finance Available ***

MY

K

Winner: Shillingfords

Issue #32 FREE

CY

Issue 39 FREE

CMY

Front Cover By Simon Daniels

Issue #30 FREE

182 SHOWROOM Neath Rd, M a att Swansea SA1 2JT

(Opposite Liberty Stadium)

£895

£550

£1995

*Terms & Conditions Apply This Amazing Composite Door from only

uPVC Doors from only £550

01792 359244

www.mpnwindows.com

6 Windows

French Doors

Conservatories £6995

Doors

FINANCE AVAILABLE

£499

Mention This Ad When Ordering

Jack Swan Issue #39

Showroom at 182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT

We Reveal How Huw Saves Money!

E-mail: mpnwindows@aol.com

This was our first Jack Swan awards night and I’d like to thank everyone who came and made it such an amazing night. I would like to thank all our sponsors and give special thanks to Richie Saunders, House of Frames, Dorians Heel Bar, Poets on the Hill, James & Joel, Acumen, Design by Mo, The Liberty Stadium, Swansea Bay TV, Jeff Avery and The Sign Lab for helping to make the night so effing awersome!! Congratulations THE to everyone nominated and to those who won an award. We received over 70,000 votes and thanks to all of you who voted! Roll on next year!!!!

Jack Swan Magazine

CMY

From £12,990.00

Issue #37

CY

From £11,495.00

4MX3M

Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Availa

MY

UP TO 50% OFF

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Jack Swan Magazine

CM

Price

Number of windows

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

Issue #35 There once was a Jack FREE in a chip shop Who got chip fat all over her Swans top Post match shattered Scoffed pea-fritter battered Which powered her backEverything to the hill top is Lovely: #POTH Nothing to Report Here!

e Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0% Finance Available *** 0%

Y

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SCERTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

M

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

SALE

C

Issue #41 FREE

Front Cover by Simon Meyrick

UP TO 50% OFF Front Cover by a last minute change

UP TO 50% OFF SALE

Issue #41

UP TO 50% OFF

Issue #31 FREE

r

“There are probably a lot better footballers than me who have worn the Swans shirt over the years, but I’d like to think that there have been few who have tried harder” Sir Alan Tate

AWARDS 2016

the

griddle community cafe

@ The Forge Fach Centre, Clydach Community Resource Centre

Open 7 Days a Week. 8am to 9pm Free Parking / Homemade Cakes / Homemade Specials / Fresh Bean Coffee

Early Bird Special Bacon Roll

Pre-Order 07813 642069

& Fresh Bean

ew

Home Made Cake

Coffee

& Fresh Bean

everyday

£2.50

Coffee

£3 Available 8am-9am

Kevshau

!

ya ers ve irt I’d

Chill Out Special

OFF

10%With wan

kS e Jac gazin Ma

Auto Body Repairs INSURANCE WORK FAULT & NON FAULT PUBLIC & TRADE WELCOME FREE LOCAL COLLECTION & DELIVERY SERVICE Telephone us on 01792 462581 email: kdevoy@hotmail.com Saddler Streer, Landore, SA1 2PP *excludes insurance work

94 SWANNING AROUNDAROUND THE UNIVERSE SWANNING THE UNIVE

Gonna bring it It back toaEarth forof a moment.

Terra cotta...

Ah, for the S was week contrasting fortunes actually... this is not one for intellect or humour... subtly won't Universe this week... get it done...Grounded and grinding this one out...

As one away fan dragged a Swan to death so she could have her pho with it... away fans for the most are gentle, kind and no trouble a our fair saviour Guidolin pulled us spluttering from the mire while laid bed...

Fight fire with fire.

Bring back Brendan?

Proven mid/mud table manager who believes in a fluent

Our good man Alan and fair saviour Guidolin make a perfect ma Alan can do what Gary didn't really get time to... with the guidance th Gary needed for a few seasons... attacking game. so we could have a manager like Gary manage the club for maybe a I mean for every one of Mourinho there'sWengie one of Rogers type reign... (Oh yes he does ;-) apparently), that would be nice...

It also looks a bit grim now for the ugly duckling that drove the perr blue coupe North squawking like a pinched goose on his way

Tut tut ungrateful goose, eat your s maybe that's what we need.

Michu said he's ready to come back... bless.

If a club like Aston villa can go down... and in Flew the coup he did. Listen, I'd have Bony back cos Bony is capabl football circles Remi Garde is a much lauded and respected man... with but no Michu no and No. If you came back you would literally have to s 10% win rate in his 20 games in charge... then maybe bring back Brendan.

His record deserves reinvestigation at least.

Where's Michu hahahhH

However... If my girl fucked off, to Liverpool of all places, and then the bindipper she left me for dumped her and so she wanted to come back...Frankly sounds god awful grim to my guts if that's the way they choose to and time and the distance it takes to get there... that's t go. Maybe just meTrust andinaspace bad burrito... but hey it's the taking part that hand our fair saviour Guidolin gives... matters. Only so many teams can win.

Padd Paddy Stradlin

VERSE

e Swans

photo taken e at all... aid on his sick

match... e that maybe

e a Fergie or

erry winkle way...

r stew.

able yet... to score 35 in

hHah

's the steady

ddy Stradlin

Dunvant Road Dunvant Swansea SA2 7SL 01792 208112

96

P���n�-�es� P���n��n�!

P n - es P n n !

We have all been there, (well those of us with kids) the football is on TV and we don’t get to watch hardly We have all been there, (well those of us with kids) the football is on TV and we don’t get to watch hardly any of it as we are too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos any of it as we are too busy entertaining the little monsters. I asked Claire from Munchkinos Childminding to try and come up with a solution.

Childminding to try and come up with a solution.

As we approach the end of the season (safe from relegation ) What you need and celebration the groundsmen are lookingFairy to prepare the turf The of International Day during Junefor the next Old tights or pop socks season; thought it would be fitting teach Swansea gave meI inspiration for a new activityto. This is the oneyoungest that even painted the stones to make them look prehistoric Grass seeds fansstart howoutside to growand their own can end upgrass!! indoors in time for the (for the dinosaur garden). Take all of your materials Sawdust soil your child match. Bonus points should be awarded for fresh air inside along with an empty box andorallow Elastic bands This creativity is a fun activity thatfree all ages enjoy and definitely and and guilt football watching should keepstopeople be creative whilst you watch the football. They can entertained for ages, Grass Heads! It also teaches children how Pens and extra fabric are optional ensue. things grow and gives them a good laugh when they see the grass heads ‘hair’ sprouting up.

Indoor Gardens smiling eyes Instructions The children at Munchkinos really enjoyed making Fill the toe of outside a nylon and pop asked sock with grass seed.

If you don’twww.facebook.com/munchkinos have one you can fairy gardens if they could take also cut the to foot off atheir pair parents. of old nylon tights. them home show So we came up with the idea of recreating the Add sawdust or soil to the sockIt's until it has a ball shape, if the children find gardens in empty shoe boxes. a very this difficult; either open the end of the sock yor self and allow them to fill or pop it over jar so it islittle hands free. activity can akeep your munchkins Knot the or seal it with going for sock ages.closed It doesn't have to bean a elastic band. fairy garden. We have made monster This is where the children get a chance homes, alien planets, prehistoric lands , to be creative; they can add goggly eyes, pens, Wepossibiliused loom bands as we didnt have elastic farms, parksextra and amaterial. jungle the bands. the(See sawdust to create ties are Pinch endless. photos; scale either an eye, nose or ear. When you have your desired finish off with anface elastic band. They can make aliens, orgers obviously notsize important Smiling and giants; its only limited by imagination. (black and white)) The grass What youhead needneeds to be placed on a pot or a jar full of water with the grass sead bit facing up. If the head is looked after within 2 weeks the childen willempty see thecontainer hair growing. willor need to be kept moist so will should be An (shoeItbox similar) watered daily and placed in a sunny location.

Any small toys/props your child decides Seeimagination how many they can make, maybe enough for a football team?

An How to create your garden Spend some time with your child exploring the garden, park or any green space. Take some time to collect bits they think would help to create a

INDOOR & MULTI SENSORY Open: 9.30am-7pm Monday - Saturday, 9.30am-5pm Sunday

Licenced Bar & Family Restauant Baby & Toddler Sensory Area Creche st a f k a Bre Adults Free h Wit Fu lly Licenced CAFÉ BAR & RESTA URANT r e Unit 15 Woodlands Business Park Vouch Ystradgynlais - Swansea - SA9 1JW t:

01639 845050

e: theplayquarter@gmail.com • w: www.theplayquarter.co.uk Deal of Month

www.Craigynoscastle.com Accommodation - Weddings - Events

01639 730725

Brecon Road, Pen-Y-Cae Powys, SA9 1GL

Accommodation - Ghosts - Weddings - Dog Friendly

Get Married In a Romantic Castle

Have Your Ceremony In Our Theatre, Wedding Breakfast In Our Conservatory And Evening Do In Our Function Room.

Many Packages Available. www.craigynoscastleweddings.com

2 nights B&B

for 2 People for just £150 (Even your dog can stay) www.dogfriendlywales.com

Group Ghost Tours from £49pp in our haunted Castle with overnight stay and breakfast www.mosthauntedcastle.com

FREE BOTTLE OF WINE

When You Mention Jack Swan When You Book!!

Evening Meals Sunday to Thursday. Booking Advisable

Free Desert with 3 course meal (sunday - Thursday)

98 Quiz Answers Mind Puzzles 1) The answer is simple - the man is my son 2) Short 3) 45 (1/5 of 45 = 9, 9 + 45 = 54) 4) 5c 5) D - each letter represents one note in the diatonic musical scale: Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Ti, Do 6) 2nd 7) Once. After that you’d be subtracting 48 8) You don’t bury survivors 9) You cant take a picture with a wooden leg, you need s camera 10) 2 - Each answer given equals the number of circles present in the numbers. So, 5699 would equal 3 and 4444 = 0

• Guttering Cleaned, Repaired or Replaced • Roof, Solar Panel and • Conservatory Business Sign Cleaning • and Fencing

G. HYATT & SONS All Aspects Of Painting And Decorating Wallpapering Coving • Artexing • Plasterboarding and Ceilings Reskimmed NO JOB TOO SMALL Reliable Service • Established 30 Years

TEL 01792 881882 MOB 07791 348704 Deal of Month

Vital Information 27. In Iceland, you can buy 3 bags of chicken for £5.

History Quiz 1) Jimmy Glass, 2) 1999 3) Leicester City (4) 4) Blackpool 5) 31 6) 20 7) 47 (feeling old?)

8) 40 (with 5 goals, from left back!!! At about 8 years old) 9) League one 10) I don’t know, you tell me. I used to like him long ago but he certainly is a complete $&%£ (that word begins with C) Cars: 1) alfa romeo 75 2) Bugatti Type 32 3) Vauxhall Viva 4) Toyota Hilux 5) Subaru 360 6) Škoda Octavia 7) Rover 25 8) Porsche Boxster 9) Plymouth Fury 10) Opel Astra

D N U FO

Someone Clever!!

We have found someone clever!

I’d love to hear from other clever people though. Be good to have a specialist writing something interesting in the magazine.

Get In touch 07880 369545 info@jackswan.co.uk

Don’t Foget To Show Your Card! If In Doubt; ASK!!!

Don’t buy cheap, buy quality at low prices.

FASCIAS & GUTTERS • DRY VERGE • DRIP FELT • CLADDING • SLATING • TILING • ROOF COATING • CHIMNEYS RE-POINTED & CAPPED ALL ASPECTS OF ROOFING WORK UNDERTAKEN ALL WORK GUARANTEED

OVER 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE CALL GARETH TODAY FOR A FREE QUOTE

07983 024232 / 01792 457215 hardings_f_g_s@yahoo.com

Number of Number of windows windows Fully Fitted

44WINDOWS WINDOWS

£1946

£54.05

£1946

WINDOWS 55WINDOWS

£2545

£70.69

£2545

66WINDOWS WINDOWS

£3144

£87.33

£3144

WINDOWS 77WINDOWS

£3743

£103.97

£3743

88WINDOWS WINDOWS

£4342

£120.61

£4342

99WINDOWS WINDOWS

£4941

£137.25

£4941

10 10 WINDOWS WINDOWS

£5540

£153.88

£5540

ANYSIZE, ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS WHITE UPVC ININWHITEUPVC

ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS ANYSIZE, WHITE UPVC ININWHITEUPVC

THE WORLD FAMOUS VEKA SUPER EFFICIENT A RATED WINDOWS & DOORS THAT SAVES YOU MONEY ON YOUR FUEL BILLS WITH A 10 YEAR GUARANTEE. • Energy A rated glass • Better security • High security 8 • Better savings on point Yale locking energy bills mechanisms fitted to • Reduced heat loss the openers and condensation • Installation by our • Low experienced maintenance installers with 70mm Veka over 200 years experience window frames between them.

• Makes your home look amazing • Removal and disposal of existing windows • Better energy SPECIAL efficiency OFFER • Better noise DREAM DOOR reduction FRONT

ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS ANYSIZE, WHITE UPVC ININWHITEUPVC ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS ANYSIZE, WHITE UPVC ININWHITEUPVC

• Competitive pricing with no hidden costs • Local family owned company since 1994

36 monthly payments fixed Total amount payable at 0% finance

Cost

ANYSIZE, ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS WHITE UPVC ININWHITEUPVC ANYSIZE, ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS ININWHITEUPVC WHITE UPVC ANYSIZE, ANY SIZE,MAX1 MAX 2OPENER OPENERS WHITE UPVC ININWHITEUPVC

ALL OUR CONSERVATORIES COME FULLY PLASTERED, TILED WITH FREE UNDERFLOOR HEATING WITH UPVC SKIRTING BOARDS FITTED AS STANDARD AND FREE BLINDS

Conservatory 3MX3M

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

£13,500.00

4MX3M

From £14,995.00

5MX3M

From

£15,995.00

5MX4M

From

£16,995.00

From

£19,995.00

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

6MX4M

£599 BACK £550

Price From

CONSERVATORY FULLY FITTED INC ALL BUILDING WORKS

FULLY FITTED

O%TOFINANCE AVAILABLE UP 25% OFF WI WINTER INTER S SALE ALE Door Door Fully Fitted

Price

COMPOSITE DOOR

From £950.00 From £950.00

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH FANLIGHT

From

£1095.00

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 1 SIDESCREEN

From

£1395.00

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 2 SIDESCREENS

From

£1695.00

COMPOSITE DOOR WITH 2 SIDESCREENS AND A FANLIGHT

From

£1850.00

OPEN 9AM TO 9PM • 7 DAYS A WEEK

DUO ... ...OUR QUALITY NEW DUO ARE COMPOSITE DOORS ARE CO STANDARD 54% THICKER THAN 54 STANDARD WHY IT’S THE BEST COMPOSITE DOOR ON THE MARKET? • Made in Britain • 54% thicker than a standard composite door • Improved thermal and acoustic insulation thanks to double compression seals • Galvanised steel reinforcement • Triple glazed: for better heat retention and noise reduction • Meets or exceeds all current British Standards for door security.

• Available in a choice of rich colours and woodgrains

•

0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FIN

ON ALL MPN WINDOWS YOU CAN EXPECT UP TO 25% OFF WINTER SALE QUALITY AND THE Up to FOLLOWING AS 25% Off Winter STANDARD: Sale

ABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE

ANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAILABLE • 0% FINANCE AVAIL

WE SUPPLY ALL TYPES OF UPVC WINDOWS DOORS AND CONSERVATORIES AWARDED BEST DOUBLE GLAZING COMPANY IN WALES BY NETWORK VEKA

Visit Our Showroom at:

182 Neath Rd, Swansea SA1 2JT (Opposite Liberty Stadium)

01792 359244

EMAIL: mpnwindows@aol.com

www.mpnwindows.com

WINDOWS, DOORS

M.P.N & CONSERVATORIES

FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS