Issue 61

Issue #61

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Editorial Seasons expectation?

Greatest Ever Clubmen 5 Games that made Leon King Ex-players view on Leon Burgervan Review Pictures of the Month History Quiz Picture quiz Mind Puzzles 20 Words from H Neath Comedy Festival Jack Swan Worth a £1??

Jokes By Spense Geraint ‘Goody’ Goodridge Jack Swan Awards Results Short Breakfast Review God Slot Swanning Around the Universe Name the Pub Jack Sounds 70% of Welsh support terrorists Shit you should know Your Local Trades Quiz Answers

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As yet, we aren’t looking for a new manager and the club isn’t for sale… it’s a strange Summer for us Swans fans!!

And although all seems quite quiet and calm, it is far from an unimportant time for the football club as the next two months will tell us an awful lot about the direction and the ambition of our new owners.

Nothing to report as yet in the transfer market, there are still rumours of Siggy being linked to Everton and whether we can hold onto our best player will answer a lot of our questions.

There are already sections of fans frustrated with the comments coming from our hierarchy but whatever your thoughts are on Huw Jenkins, he’s far from an idiot. Whether we have a £10 million budget this summer or a £50 million one, it would be ridiculously naïve to give the impression that we are in a position to splash the cash as we all know that player transfer value increases when this is the case; Everton seem intent on showing the country that they mean business but they are clearly paying over the odds for players because of this approach.

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It all feels an awful lot like the Swans of old, which is no bad thing! A lot seems to be being kept behind the scenes and we aren’t going to make signings without doing the right background checks and ensuring that we get as good a deal as possible.

It is a wait and see time for us fans and we just need to hope that those involved don’t look at our finish to the season and think that we are in pretty good shape on the field; because we really aren’t! I’m not saying we need to bring in 8

or 9 new players but we got incredibly lucky last season and weren’t much better the season before and this league keeps getting more difficult.

Assuming that we continue with the 4-5-1 (with wingers) then we could really do with some new blood on the flanks. Routledge, Dyer, Monterro and Ayew are our current options out wide and this isn’t going to scare many Premier League teams. Our midfield needs another addition, we can’t keep relying on Leon Britton (although I hope he starts the campaign; why not?). We need a better right back, Olson has shown what a difference a good full back can make to our left side and we will undoubtable need another striker even if we do keep hold of Baston (Which I hope we do).

Five players could do it and transform us from a team who is likely to struggle into a team who could finish as high as eighth. I’m happy with the eerie silence around the club at the moment and I’m optimistic that we’ll have made good additions by issue 62…….and if we haven’t then the inquest begins!!

Cheers

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Seasons Expectations

Bookies think that we’ll be finishing 16th next season, another relegation scrap to look forward to (it was exciting wasn’t it!) but have we peaked? Are we just going to attempt to survive in the Premier League until we inevitably don’t? or can we somehow push on?

It wasn’t too long ago that I was fairly adamant that we’d continue to improve year on year, slow progression with carefully thought out signings which would be sold for profit when the time came with that money being reinvested seemed a fool proof plan. It didn’t happen like that, the Bony purchase and sale showed a massive change in the way that the club showed its ambition.

The initial signing showed a club looking up, looking for more than mere survival and his sale was equally as exciting.

If we could find a Bony for £13 odd million then we can find two for £28 million and when we sell them both for £50 million between them then we can sign 3 or 4!

OK, it is not always going to be that simple but with the extra money from SKY then the gap between the very rich clubs and the rest of the pack is massively reduced and I really believe that a well run club can progress and potentially catch the top 6 or 8. Especially when you to remember that most clubs are run like a circus!

But what happened between the Bony purchase and the Bony sale was that the then owners wanted out and the aim became survival and not progression. Bony was never replaced and the ideology of Swansea City Football club seemed very different.

The feeling around the club both here in Swansea and the way that we are perceived around the country and Europe has changed. Are we still that club that is ideal for an up and coming player looking for a stepping stone to Europe’s elite? Would a young Bony want to join the club now or have we just become another circus?

That is the cross roads that we are at. Can we convince the footballing world that we are that well-run ambitious forward looking club aiming for European adventures or are we another club who has 3 managers a season and panic buys in January?

Our infrastructure is truly superb now, the sale of the club is done, the chairman who oversaw our rise is still there and so there is no reasons why we can’t have our best days ahead of us. Ambition Is fucking critical and we need to aim high because failing to so will see the whole dream over sooner rather than later!!

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Greatest Ever Clubman

Who is the greatest ‘clubman’ of all time? I say all-time but there are many players from years gone by who would deserve to be added to this list, the likes of Nat Lofthouse, Bobby Moore, Bobby Charlton spring to mind but football clubs and transfers were different in those days and so it was far more common to be loyal to a club for a long period of time so I’ve gone from mid-80s to present day and tried to find those players who can call themselves great clubmen.

A clubman has to be someone who has contributed masses to one club and whose service and loyalty has resulted in the team progressing, so here is my list and let me know who you think is the man for you!

Steve Bull 1986-1999 Wolverhampton Wanderers Steve Bull played his first game for Wolves back

in the old forth division and smashed every goal scoring record you can imagine; 52 goals in the 87-88 season, 18 hat-ticks throughout his spell, 306 goals, 250 in football league and obviously attracted the attention of top flight clubs. In 1995 Graham Taylor agreed to sell Bull to Coventry but he turned down the chance to play in the Premier League to stay at Molineux, he gained 13 England caps, scoring 4 goals and could have easily had more if he had chosen to move up a league. Bull’s goals helped win back to back promotion in the late eighties to take the club from the forth tier to the second tier but they couldn’t go that one step further (highest position finishing 3rd). His loyalty to his club is admired by football fans up and down the country and the man is worshiped in Wolverhampton.

Lowest Point: 4th in 4th tier Highest Point: 3rd in 2nd tier Matt Le Tissier 1986-2002 Southampton Le Tissier played his first game for the saints in 1986 and scored his first goals for the club in a 4-1 cup replay win against Man United which saw Ron Atkinson sacked (another reason to like him!!). PFA young player of the year in 89-90, 25 league goals in 93-94 season and renowned for the spectacular goal. Interest from Chelsea, Spurs, United and any big club was common and a £10 million bid from Chelsea came in 1995 and a similar bid from then league champions Blackburn shortly afterwards but the man had no interest in ever leaving his beloved Dell. It was fitting that his last ever goal for the Saints came

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Greatest Ever Clubman

in the last ever game at the old ground and a trade mark goal it was to. No cup win, no promotion, no relegation, a career which was enthralling in many ways was hindered by his own love of his own club, his loyalty though is admired throughout football.

Lowest Point: 17th in first tier Highest point: 7th in first tier.

Tony Adams Arsenal 1983-2002 Captained a title winning side in 3 different dec-

ades… get your head around that one!! Adams was a one club man and will always go down as one of Arsenals absolute greats. Made his debut back in 1983 at 17 and played 19 seasons playing at centre back for the club appearing over 500 times in the red strip. Nicknamed ‘Mr Arsenal’ there was never a time in his career where he ever looked like leaving Highbury and he managed to make the cultural change from George Graham to Arsene Wenger which for an alcoholic takes some doing! 3 FA Cups, 2 League cups, UEFA Cup and 4 league titles put the gloss on a fantastic one club career.

Lowest Point: 12th in first tier Highest Point: 1st in first tier

Alan Shearer Newcastle 1996-2006 As much of a prick as he is on Match of the Day, you can’t help but admire his loyalty to his beloved Newcastle. With Alex Ferguson a keen admirer, it would have been easy for him to force a move to a club that would have all but guaranteed him silverware but the boy from Toon wanted to go home. and they gave him quite a welcome.

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Greatest Ever Clubman

Undoubtedly one of the best players to play in the Premier League, he had to transfer his game from a nippy young striker to a battling aerial threat after serious knee injuries. You could rely on his goals at Newcastle as much as you could rely on there being a fat topless Geordie watching it but no silverware came his way. He still holds the record as Premier League all time top scorer and won his title with Blackburn but what he would have given for a trophy in St James’ Parks?

Lowest Point: 14th in first tier Highest Point: 2nd in first tier.

Steven Gerrard Liverpool 1998-2015 Football is a cruel game when you can achieve so much but be most remembered for a ‘little stumble’. Gerrard undoubtedly played with some of the most average Liverpool teams to grace Anfield and almost singlehandedly brought silverware home but not that elusive Premier League title. It shows how football has changed when a player is applauded for not leaving a club the size of Liverpool whilst on a 6 figure weekly salary but by modern day football standards, his decision to turn down Mourinho and Chelsea was admirable. Having said that 2 FA CUP medals (one being named the ‘Gerrard final’ for his spectacular late equaliser against West Ham), 3 league cups, a UEFA Cup and a Champions League isn’t a bad trophy cabinet to possess.

Lowest Point: 8th top tier Highest Point: 2nd top tier Ryan Giggs 1990-2014 You have to do quite a lot in football to be forgiven

for shagging your brother’s wife and I’m not sure whether he’s quite managed that but he has a trophy cabinet to die for. 672 appearances for the Red Devils and the most decorated player in football history… wait for it because you know its shitloads but it is even more shitloads than you think; 13 Premier League titles!!! (13 FFS, I’m yet to get one!!) 4 FA Cups, 3 League Cups and just the 2 Champions Leagues make him fairly popular at Old Trafford.

Lowest: 6th in first tier Highest: 1st in first tier

John Terry Chelsea 1998-2017 He could be a Swansea player by the time this comes back from the printers (can’t see it myself) and whatever you think of the racist asshole, he’s been a magnificent player for the blues at Chelsea.

Five Premier League titles, four FA Cups, three league cups, one UEFA cup and a Champions League (all as captain) isn’t a bad record in reality.

The term ‘heart on sleeve’ is used a lot but he really did give absolutely everything to the badge.

I remember him being injured and needing to go off for treatment while the side was about to defend the corner and he was still organising the side as he was being carried off. It is attributes

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Greatest Ever Clubman

like that which fans love and he’ll always be regarded as one of the all-time greats at Chelsea.

Lowest: 10th in first tier Highest: 1st in top tier Leon Britton Swansea 2002-Present It is impossible to fairly compare Ryan Giggs achievement at Man United to Leon Britton’s at Swansea but who said anything about being fair? When Giggs first played for United; they were a good team, they had won the FA Cup the previous year, finished runners up in league two seasons before that. The club clearly progressed over the 2 decades that the Welshman played there but not to the extent that Leon has with the Swans. Leon has been a major part in seeing the Swans rise 81 places in the football league!!! 81!!!!!!!

And he’s as important now as he was then; arguably more so. Of all these great club men and all those from years gone by, I cannot find anyone who has been at any club at their absolute lowest point and also at their absolute highest and to play a vital role in every season in between. We love him here but I really don’t think he gets anywhere near the recognition he deserves and in my eyes he isn’t just Swansea City’s greatest ever clubman but he’s British footballs greatest.... Tell me if I’m wrong!

Lowest: 21st in forth tier Highest: 8th in first tier

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5 Games that made Leon King!

These are the 5 matches which above all others made us fall in love with the greatest player to ever wear the Swans shirt.

1)

Swansea 4 – 2 Hull

Every Swans player on the pitch that day wrote their names into our record books and James Thomas will always be remembered as the hero of the day but it was the start of the mutual love between fans and Leon Britton. A young player with no reason to have affiliation with a struggling Welsh club, the boy gave everything, ran his heart out and won a vital penalty. Playing as a right-winger, he looked a class above, he was a class above but he wasn’t the spoilt kid that young players seem to be these days. His attitude has always been perfect and he’s always had that grit and determination which was needed in our most important game in our history. He became a man that day! He became a Jack that day!

2)

Swansea 3 – 1 Nottingham Forest

He’s had better games, his performance in the first leg where he and 9 other warriors kept Forest at bay after Taylors early dismissal was immense but his goal in the home tie will last forever in folk law.

There aren’t many goals that spring to mind when you think of our little number seven but this was top drawer and its timing couldn’t have been better.

The best players come up with magic when its required and this was his Steven Gerrard moment against Olympiakos or Beckhams against Greece.

He picks up the ball out to the right shimmies inside, shimmies outside, comes back inside and lets rip with his left foot. Ball flies past Lee Camp and the Swans are on their way to Wembley.

3) Swansea 4 – 2 Reading Our biggest game since Hull and while Scott Sinclair got the limelight in the same way as JT did back at the Vetch, Leon played no small part in the result. The first half was just perfect Swans and the 3-0 lead was easy, a team effort and Leon played his part but as always when the shit hits the fan, he is the go-to man. As Reading pin us back and get us back to 3-2, assholes are squeaking all over

the place but one man just continues playing ‘the Swansea way’ and calmly brought us through an intensely nervous period. He continually wanted the ball, kept it simple and his calmness eventually spread through the eleven on the pitch and the 40,000 Jacks in the stadium. Balls of steel!!!!!!

4)

Chelsea 0 – 2 Swansea

This was the greatest performance that I have ever seen from any player wearing a Swans shirt.

The man was insane that day. He didn’t give the ball away all game and completely dominated a midfield against one of the best sides in Europe.

How he didn’t win an international call up over this period of his career is beyond me, at this time his passing stats were superior to anyone who is anyone and this was a semi-final of a domestic cup and against Chelsea… and he absolutely owned them!! I understand that England managers don’t watch Swansea V Stoke but this was on as higher stage as he’d been able to play and he demolished it.

5)

Swansea 2 – 0 Stoke

Swans are fucked. They have gone what seems like weeks without looking like scoring, months without a clean sheet and a generation since an ounce of passion could be seen on a players face; relegation was a certainty and almost every single player deserved to lose their Premier League nametag. Leon gets called back into the fold and transforms everything from the very bottom up.

United fans will tell you that they play better when Michael Carrick plays (And stats agree) but this scale of transformation is almost unique. From the moment Leon was back in the starting lineup, every player looked a Premier League player, everyone had a fight in them, everyone believed it was possible and the fans went from being negative to supportive. His performances were good, very good but the fact that he was there meant everything. Quite simply, he saved a relegated side and created a ‘team’ singlehandedly.

We could have chosen 20 matches and who is to say that he won’t surpass himself next season.

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18 Ex-players view on Leon We’ve been really bad at getting round to catching up with ex-players lately (will get back into that I promise!) but from my memory, every player we’ve spoken to and has played with Leon has put him in their best eleven that they have played with. Here we have 4 Swans greats who we’ve spoken to in the past and what they say about the great man: Roger Freestone ‘Leon Britton left wing, when he first came to us I thought are you having a laugh he was about 5 foot and weighed about 8 stone, In league two I thought he had no chance but what he has done at the club is unbelievable, he seems to be playing some of the best football of his career at the moment under Curtis, He seemed to have got frozen out a bit under Monk which was a shame but he is playing some great stuff under Curtis. Obviously Britts has been at the club 10 or 11 years and what can you say about Leon. When he first came to the club I remember everybody looking and going this young lad is not going to be strong enough for the third division but he proved everybody wrong and he’s still there now playing premier league football. He’s been an absolutely fantastic servant to Swansea city.’

Lee Trundle: ‘I am going to Put Leon Britton in there alongside Robberto, I think you know you don’t have to say anything for Leon really. He is going to get in to everyone’s team who has played with him at the swans because of the player that he is. When he first came to Swansea he started out on the wing but what he has done for us, he has changed his style and for me in every division we have played he has been one of our best players. For me he has been the best player I have played with.’

Ferrie Bodde: ‘Leon Britton is a genius, like the brain of the team. Leon Always played a good game that is his quality never has a bad game.’

James Thomas: ‘I will put Britton in there obviously another superb signing from Bryan Flynn. You could see the quality of him as soon as he came in, the only question at the time really was his size and if he could cope with league2 but he did get stuck in though, he won the penalty for us the Hull game and I don’t think he has ever had a bad game for the swans, 13 years on I still don’t think he has had a bad game really but another great signing by Bryan Flynn’

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Short Burger Review Madawg, Ystalyfera, All Blacks

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Fer He’s an odd player is our Leroy. It’s quite hard to pin-point what he wants to do. He was awful against ally was or be a third central defender; he just seemed like he’d never played football before. Since then

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and play the game as he sees it and it has been great to see. He doesn’t seem to be blessed with the ability to tackle but that hasn’t stopped him from attempting to, he’s quick in that area of the pitch which is always and advantage (look at Kante). He’s winning me over and scoring 3 goals in 5 matched from the middle of the park is always a nice bonus.

Fernandez His awareness is absolutely outstanding. He took a bit of a gamble against Southampton with his slide against Shane Long (where the fecker dived) but his understanding of the situation and where the anger was was brilliant. He just gets on with his business in a generally calm and unnoticed fashion which is that line at the back at the moment, whether he’s the man for that job or not only time will tell but based on his personal performances then I’ve been fairly happy with how our Argentinean is playing at present.

Special mention: Kingsley slotted into the Premier League with no issue at all. Nobody here at SA1. He’s probably been our biggest positive over the last 6-8 months.

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24

History Quiz

1) How many goals did Peter Crouch score in his only season at Real Madrid?

2) Who am i? 1996-2003 Blackburn, 2003-2006 Chelsea, 2006-2009 Newcastle, 2009-2014 Fulham? Easy one that!!

3) What have Bobby Zamora and Obafemi Martins got in common? (question of the year this!! Outstanding answer!!)

4) Which player has been substituted more than any other player in Premier League history?

5) How many Premier League assists has Mario Balotelli had?

6) Who is the only player to score, assist, score an own goal and pick up a yellow card in the same Premier League game?

7) Which player holds the record for missing the most amount of penalties?

8) What did West Ham do in their 2015/16 season for the first time since 1985/86?

9) Which goal keeper has 5 premier league assists, a goal and has won a penalty?

10) Whose one2eleven is this? player chosing best eleven that they played with.

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Sunday Carvery Andlook Function Room Hire Live Music, Pool Table, Dart Board, Pool And Dart and Teams, Pub Quiz, Karaoke Click on the Notifications Actions tab and find the switch that reads Show Me Tips About Windows, then turn it off

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Renna back on the case this issue! Good link with these. I done quite well.... alright like!!

NO Answers back anymore as requested the locals the the Masons in Wanuarlwydd.

Just foratathe change: Answers are onbypage 98!inGet linkArms between all 4 asBlame well them!!!!

Text 369545 Sendin!!!! your07880 answers to 07880 369545 to get your name in next months issue! There is a link between all five!

1) 1)

2) 2)

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Example of how it works

Answer: Ross McCormack

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28 Mind Puzzles (answers on page 98) 1) A bear walks south for one kilometer, then it walks west for one kilometer, then it walks north for one kilometer and ends up at the same point from which it started. What color was the bear?

2) A chicken farmer also has some cows for a total of 30 animals, and the animals have 74 legs in all. How many chickens does the farmer have?#

3) A scientist is experimenting with bacteria that are one micron in diameter and that reproduce by dividing every minute into two bacteria. At 12:00 PM, she puts a single organism in a container. At precisely 1:00 PM, the container is full.

At what time was the container half full?

4) A man buys 30 live birds that include partridges, pigeons and sparrows for 30 dinars. A partridge costs 3 dinars, a pigeon costs 2 dinars, and two sparrows cost one dinar (i.e., each sparrow costs 1/2 dinar). How many birds of each kind did he buy?

5) At an eBay auction, a woman’s ring and a filigree jewelry box with a hand-painted ceramic top are on sale for $200.00 Dollars. The jewelry box is valued at $190.00 Dollars more than the ring. How much is the ring worth?

6) My sister has six red stamps and three blue ones. In her collection, seven stamps are from Mexico and six stamps are from France. One stamp is purple and it is not from Mexico or France. Two of her Mexican stamps are red and one is blue. Two of her French stamps are blue and three are red. How many stamps does she have?

7) At a party, everyone shook hands with everybody else. There were 66 handshakes. How many people were at the party?

8) I don’t even understand the answer but get your head around below!

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20 Words From H (Not that one!!)

“I am too busy this issue to waste time talking to Swans fans who will moan at anything and everything ” The legend that is ‘H’

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NEATH COMEDY FESTIVAL IS BACK!!!!!!!

Some 7 years after its launch , the Neath Comedy Festival is back for 2017, Neath will welcome 40 of the best comedians who will perform 15 shows at 8 venues in and around Neath. A mix of TV comedians and some of the rising stars of the South Wales stand up scene will take to the microphone providing a comedy loving audience with some rib tickling laughter.

This year’s festival will take place between 1st-29th July at a range of venues including The Duke, The Gwyn Hall, Neath Little Theatre and Morruzis.

The Festival is the brain child of Neath based Stand up comic Paul James. Paul starting performing in 2009 and launched a monthly comedy club the Clowns Pocket. Household names including Mark Thomas, Rufus Hound, Milton Jones and Stewart Francis all performed in Neath and loved it, they were soon asking when they could return. A mini week long Festival was developed, but this has now turned into a month long Comedy Festival.

for world class stand up comedy. In partnership with ‘Neath Inspired’ we are building an event that will bring some of the most talented comics in the world to South Wales before they head off to Edinburgh and also provide a platform for developing local talent also” This year headline acts for the Festival include Norman Lovett (Holly from Red Dwarf), Craig Campbell, Tony Law, Patrick Monahan, Netflix stars Asperger’s Are Us, Ian Cognito, Noel James and Tiffany Stephenson.

For more information on the Festival https://www. facebook.com/NeathComedyFestival/

Paul James, Neath Comedy Festival says “ In 2010 people were saying ‘What? In Neath?

It will never work’. Seven years on people in the area and beyond have shown that we love a laugh as much as anyone and there is an appetite here

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BARBECUES | SMOKERS PIZZA OVENS | OUTDOOR HEATING Visit our showroom to see our full range of products for outdoor living

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Here at our Liberty Tiles showroom we offer a start to finish tiling service. Whether you want to update your property or start a new build design we can help you obtain the best results from: • Quartz • Porcelain • Stone • Glass • Marble • Travertive • Mosaic • Ceramic • Solid Oak • Laminate

We are sure to have the right product for you. Please contact us for your FREE estimate and FREE samples.

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36

Is Jack Swan Magazine worth

£1?

Over the years a few (at least 2) people have said ‘you could charge for that!’ about this wonderful magazine!

We aren’t going to start charging for the magazine, I love that the magazine can be found in pretty much every takeaway around here while you wait for your food (that was supposed to be ready when you got there!!) and in the pubs for you to struggle with the picture quiz at the bar and I really love that the magazines eventually find their way next to 5,000 toilets in 5,000 different homes! That won’t change!

However!!!!

If you do feel that the magazine is worth a pound then PLEASE donate it to Kids Cancer Charity based in Swansea. They do amazing things for amazing people and I’m proud that we can hopefully raise some money for this incredibly charity.

Please Text ‘JSWA50 £1’ to 70070 If you would like to donate more then simply swap the £1 to whatever amount you wish to give, it’s not rocket science!! And remember this is issue 60!!

You’ve had 59 before this one!!!!!!!!!!!

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In 2014, Kids Cancer Charity, formerly Christian Lewis Trust, commemorated 25 years of caring and supporting families, children and teenagers affected by cancer. In this time we have grown considerably and gained UK-wide recognition for our work and activities.

In 1988, a group of parents and supporters came together following the tragic news that 4 year old Christian Lewis had been diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a rare form of children’s cancer. They worked to raise money to send him and his family on a lifetime trip to Disneyworld Florida. As they became more involved, so they discovered the shortcomings in local health & care services throughout Wales when it came to providing help and support to families who were trying to cope with the unthinkable.

The decision to do something started when Barbara Thomas agreed to turn her spare bedroom in Newton, Swansea into a base for a local group calling themselves “the cancer-busters” and several months later culminated with the launch of the Christian Lewis Trust Children’s Cancer Charity in May 1989.

Christian had died in January.

Today, the charity has a small service team assisted by many part-timers and volunteers who between them cover the UK. There is also a fund-raising office in Cardiff. We have seen some very tough times financially but we have also been able to help thousands of people and never once stopped working or reduced our commitments. As Barbara and the staff put it “We believe that quality of life for children with cancer is a right. To work with them and their families is a privilege.”

We are probably best known for our Holiday Programme which ranges from luxury static caravans on specially chosen sites situated on the coast in Wales, where the family can get away from the pressures of hospital and treatment, to resort holidays in both Walt Disney World in Florida and Disneyland Paris where we have partners able to provide a unique programme of supervised and special facilities. The aim is to provide memories intended to last for a lifetime.

“When the holiday gets close and that large white envelope pops through the letterbox, the excitement really begins”, as one of our families put it.

We have also become expert in specialist travel insurance and have developed links with a network of insurers providing cover for families traveling with children affected by cancer.

Our philosophy on support is that it is all about continuity; no matter what the prognosis. Accordingly, the range of services includes Play Therapy where children affected by cancer and their brothers and sisters can tackle the deep issues through their natural medium of play and Bereavement Support which helps families cope with the prospect and the results of grief.

On 19th July 2011 the Charity Commission formerly approved the Trust’s change of name to the ‘Kids Cancer Charity’ to better reflect the services offered by the Trust in the UK as a whole. In the same month the company name registered at Companies House was also changed from the ‘Christian Lewis Trust’ to the ‘Kids Cancer Charity’. The registered charity number and the company number remain unchanged as do our aims and objectives.

ICONIC PUB CHANGES HANDS AFTER 20 YEARS One of the Swansea Valley’s most established and loved pub restaurants has changed ownership this month.

There won’t be many people around these parts that aren’t aware of the Abercrave Inn, or how Phil & Sue, having came there from the the pub that sits on the gateway to the Brecon Beacons.

Patrons and regulars of ‘The Inn’ needn’t worry, though - as the new owners are none other than Rob and Jayne Megson, who also own The George in Upper Cwmtwrch.

Rob will now bring his wealth of experience to bear at the Abercrave Inn and, as customers to any of the establishments that Rob has had over the years will know, it will be upward and onward from here.

Speaking to Rob and Jayne on takeover day, it is clear that they are excited at the prospect.

“We’re aiming to carry on the good name that this place has enjoyed for many years under Phil & Sue’s ownership.” said Rob

Country Pub and Restaurant

Home of the Famous Rochard’s Ribs!

Daily Carvery • Grill, Fish and A La Carte Menus Available Covered Riverside Terrace, Beer Garden & Al Fresco Dining Ample Parking Opening Times:

Tuesday – Saturday 12pm – 2:30pm • 6pm – 9pm Sunday Carvery (3 sittings) 12pm, 2pm & 4pm

Web: thegeorgecwmtwrch.wordpress.com

“We’ve already begun refurbishing the rooms. We’re excited at the potential we have to the Beacons. There is so much in this area for tourists to see and do. We’re in one of the most beautiful parts of Britain and just a stones throw away from some of the most fabulous coastline in the world. We have to do that justice when those people visit us, either for food, accommodation or both.”

You only have to drive past the car park of The George to they want, and his restaurants have enjoyed the dividends from this

insight.

“We have a beautiful large beer garden here too,” said

look forward to providing our customers with good food and service al fresco”.

It goes without saying that Rob and Jayne are keen to extend a warm welcome to customers old and new and, with two sister pubs within 10 minutes of each the best fayre in South Wales.

U N D E R

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OW N E R S H I P

145 Heol Tawe, Abercrave, Swansea, SA9 1XS

Tel: 01639 731002 www.abercraveinn.co.uk

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40

J��e� B� S��n��

My wife complained at me eating too many hazelnut chocolate bars so I swiftly moved onto another topic.

A guy gets hit by a car and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil is standing in front of 3 doors.

The devil says, "It's your lucky day. I'm gonna give you a chance to get out of hell.

You have to complete 3 tasks.

"Behind this first door is a 1-gallon jug of Jack Daniel's. You have to drain it in one drink.

"Behind the second door is a 600 lb. grizzly bear with a sore tooth. You have to pull the tooth out.

"Behind the third door is a nymphomaniac. When you've completely satisfied her, you can leave."

The guy figures it's worth a shot, so he goes in the first door and manages to drink the whole jug of liquor. He goes in the second door, shuts it, and the most horrible commotion can be heard from inside the room. 20 minutes later, the guy finally comes out. His clothes are torn to shreds, and he is sliced and scratched head to toe.

Finally he manages to say, "Ok, where's that girl with the sore tooth...?

Just seen 11 mannequins doing the Cardiff challenge.

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Electrical Supplies Electronics Specialist Lighting Disco/Party Products DJ Equipment Hiring PAT Testing Small Repairs Hardware Ironmongery Small Electrical Products

Tobacco & Off Licence Pipes. Large Selection of cigarettes & Tobacco

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Pontardawe’s ONLY Noodle Bar 1. SMALL £3.50 • 2. MEDIUM £4.50 • 3. LARGE £5.50 C

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1. Whole Wheat noodles with fresh vegetables and egg. 4. Long grain rice with fresh vegetable and egg.

2. Rice noodles with fresh vegetables and egg.

5. Veggie Box - white cabbage, beansprouts, carrot, broccoli, red onion, mushrooms, baby corn, Chinese cabbage, no egg.

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A Great Venue for Parties etc.

W: www.theranch.wales E: hello@theranch.wales 12 High Street, Pontardawe, Swansea SA8 4HU

46

J��e� B� S��n��

I'm stuck in a lift with Diane and Jeremy .

She can't work out the floor number .

And he won't push the button !

Just been to the gym for the first time in years. I was sweating profusely, the trainer came over and said "You're terribly unfit". I said, "To be fair, it is a long application form".

Voting for any of these politicians is like voting for a sexually transmitted disease, you really don't want any of them.

Apparently towels are the biggest cause of dry skin.

Just met a dog that only responds to commands in Spanish.

He's Espanyol.

The boss of a small company has two employees; Jack and Jill. Just recently the company has been doing badly so the boss decides one of them must go. Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.

"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off." Jill replies, "You'll have to jack off then, 'cause I've got a headache."

My Grandad was really into astrology, and his star sign was cancer so it was ironic how he died really...

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52

Geraint ‘Goody’ Goodridge There has been a lot of hype already around local boxer Geraint Goodridge and so I jumped at the chance to interview him before his upcoming fight.

So you have turned pro, how is it all going?

It is going good, the rankings come out yesterday and I’m 4th in Wales already. I’m landed I’ve only had one fight.

How did the first fight go?

It was good, I felt comfortable. I didn’t know what to expect because I was going into the fight for the first time as a professional and the gloves were a lot smaller than as an amateur. I had all the nerves of not knowing the difference between the pro’s and the armatures but it was great.

Did you know the guy you were fighting?

I’d never fought him before, he’s from England but Jamie had done some research on him so that we knew what kind of fighter he was. Knew he was an awkward south paw and to be honest he did make the fight awkward as well. I was nervous getting in; obviously the crowd in Swansea were brilliant. They got behind me as the home fighter and so I could just go in and do what I did.

What is different as a professional?

Most professionals have an amateur pedigree but because I played football and started late, I‘ve had less fights than most professionals have. I’ve had 22 fights now in total. I was hoping to go to the commonwealth games with Wales but the funding wasn’t really there for me because of my age, I’m 30 and I wouldn’t be able to live and pay for a house etc... and they wasn’t financing enough for it and so there wasn’t any goals for me to go down which I wanted to achieve down the amateur route. I couldn’t do it and so I decided to set myself a different goal which is to win a Welsh title as a professional and I’m on the road now!

What is the plan? Have you got set goals?

I’ve got a set goal for the title, I’ve got the fight coming up soon, and hopefully I can build the rounds up.

I’ve done 4 now, then 6 and 8 and the Welsh title fight will be 10 and that is my goal. I think in boxing your goal is obviously to be world champion. I’d love to be Welsh champion, If I can get the chance to fight for a British title then that would be amazing and anything other than the Welsh is a bonus but the sky is the limit, I’m training hard, train 12 to 15 times a week.

I saw your training, I saw a ten mille run that you put up, it was at a ridiculous pace I done a ten mile run at 8 o’clock, 10 o’clock then I did 1,000 exercises, push-ups etc... I then had food, then beach sprints at 2 o’clock and then shadow boxing at 4. So it’s pretty intense. I’ve been up the gym at 7 o’clock this morning and I’ll be training again tonight.

Do you give yourself a break after the fight?

Yeah, go for the chocolate haha

Ricky Hatton was the famous one for that wasn’t he?

I don’t want to go that far. I try to stay around the weight so you don’t have to drop too much off. So if you can keep a bit of a healthy diet then it’s great but your body craves the sugar and so after the fight you can enjoy it for a week and then back onto it.

What is the weigh in like, is it different to an amateur one?

For a title fight it is a night before. As an amateur you get weighed at 7 and you box at 8. As a pro you get weighed in the afternoon and then you box in the night so basically the higher up you go then you get more time.

Do you get involved in any antics? Eyeballing and all that?

To be fair the guy I boxed last was a tidy guy, he came to fight, after the weigh in we shook hands and that’s the way I am. I suppose that there are some assholes out there who can big it up as you’ve seen on telly buy I want to get on with business. We are both there to knock each other out basically and so we’ll fight until the ref stops it or the other guy can’t go on. I respect anyone who will go in the ring and do that with me so I give them respect. If someone did start giving it then I’ve got some banter in my locker to give it back but I’d rather keep that until after the fight and be respectful. That’s the way I like to work.

Are you finding you are getting more fans?

Yeah definitely. With my last fight I think that people like to see people doing well and if you are doing well then people get behind you. Obviously the more fights that you win the more people want to follow you. A good friend of mine Gavin Wynn, he was in the Welsh squad with me, he’s won 6 now but he’s got a big following and it’s got bigger because of his wins. He’s a nice guy. I like to help people, point people in the right direction and I think that if you can do that then it helps your fan base, obviously the wins helps but if you are a decent guy then I think it goes a long way.

Guess it’s nice for the early fans to watch a fighter through a career. Thinking of Joe Calzaghe for example, it must have been amazing for those fans who watched him from an early stage?

Yeah brilliant for them, I won’t forget the people who have helped me out, Edge Menswear in Neath and Mortgage Sure in Caerphilly, they are firms who have really helped me out, through my amateur days and now. Something Financial have supported my next fight for me as well and I’m really grateful to them. But I will also never forget the people who bought the tickets for my first fight, people bought tables around the ring and without them buying then it’s hard to be able to fight. You have to sell tickets, if you don’t sell the tickets then you won’t be on the show. The support means everything to me and I won’t forget any one of them, it’s been unbelievable, I can’t thank people enough And when is your next fight? Where is it?

Branwen Hall, 22nd of July, it’s a Saturday show starts at 7 o’clock. I think there are 8 fights on the night.

It is going to be a good night of boxing and a great location, everyone goes in good spirit and cheering on the home favourites. If anyone wants to come then add me on facebook ‘Geraint Goodridge’ or follow my page ‘Geraint Goodridge Pro Boxer’ and I’d really appreciate your support!

54

Awards 2017

s t l u Res

Best Takeaway Sponsored by Fixing Solutions WINNER: Starvin’ Jacks 2nd Place: Panshee 3rd Place: Clydach Tandoori

Best Breakfast

Sponsored by Brisco Williams WINNER: Uplands Diner 2nd Place: Sams Cafe 3rd Place: Huggle House

Best Family Pub Sponsored by John Edwards WINNER: Pub on the pond 2nd Place: New Inn 3rd Place: Hungry Horse

FREE ESTIMATES

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Awards 2017

s t l u Res

Best Steak

Sponsored by Dale the Baerber WINNER: Steak by Night 2nd Place: The Ranch 3rd Place: Bouchon De Rossi

Best Sunday Lunch Sponsored by SA4 magazine WINNER: The George 2nd Place: Colliers Skewen 3rd Place: New Inn

Best Coffee

Sponsored by RVF WINNER: Kardomah 2nd Place: Old Market Tavern 3rd Place: Huggle House

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66

Short Breakfast Review Shillingfords: Melyn Court

It was my first breakfast in Shillingfords but I was pretty certain that it was going to be extremely good. They have built themselves a reputation as one of the best chip shops in the whole of Wales and their breakfast certainly doesn’t disappoint. If you want a ridiculous sized breakfast with bacon and sausages which barely resemble meat then I’m sorry but this isn’t the place for you. This breakfast is all quality ingredients, a great meaty sausage, thick cut bacon and all topped off with the best black pudding that you will find anywhere! Too often black pudding is hard, tasteless and like cardboard and for this reason many people will tell you that they don’t like it; well if you judged Chow Mein by a pot noodle then you may not like that. Get down Shillingfords and try a proper bit of black pudding and then judge for yourself!

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68 God Slot The Apostle Paul played a leading role in the spreading of Christianity.

Indeed most of the narrative of the Biblical book of Acts chronicles this.

But behind every major character, there is always a host of supporting characters.

These are the foot soldiers that work quietly and almost invisibly in the background. They are seldom noted, easily overlooked and almost never remembered. Their names are often forgotten or never mentioned.

To how many nameless heroes and heroines does the club owe its success? How many forgotten souls have sacrificed and selflessly intervened on the clubs behalf to save it from doom?

We could so easily forget them and believe that the club’s recent good fortunes have made solely by players, or managers etc. But the truth is that without the pivotal contributions of the unsung heroes of the club, it would not be.

As we approach another season, full of hope and anticipation, let us remember to appreciate the nameless ones.

God Bless Rev Lewis Rees

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SWANNING AROUND THE UNIVERSE Finding Alien Planets I've previously mentioned NASA's Kepler space programme. A telescope launched in March 2009 to hunt for alien “Exoplanets”. An “Exoplanet” or “Extrasolar Planet” is a planet outside of our Solar System that orbits a star that may be capable of supporting life.

The mission has been a spectacular success, researchers say, flagging around 3000 potential alien planets thus far. And this number will grow as the data relayed from the telescope will be studied for years to come.

Here are some of Kepler's greatest hits to date.

Kepler-10b: The First Unquestionably Rocky Alien Planet Kepler-10b is the first "unquestionably rocky" exoplanet, scientists say. This scorched world, which is about 1.4 times the size of Earth, lies about 560 light-years away.

Kepler-16b: The First 'Twin Sun Planet' The gas giant Kepler-16b is the first exoplanet ever found with two suns in its sky.

Kepler-16b orbits a pair of stars rather than a single star like our own sun.

Kepler-20e: The First Alien World Smaller than Earth Kepler-20e is the first alien world ever found smaller than Earth; it's about 90% the size of our planet. Kepler-20e and its sibling Kepler-20f, which is 103% the size of Earth.

Kepler-37b: The Smallest Alien Planet The tiny alien planet Kepler-37b, is slightly larger than Earth's moon and orbits its host star every 13 days. It likely has a surface temperature in excess of 400 degrees Celsius.

Kepler-62e and f: Possibly Life-Supporting Planets Kepler-62e and 62f are perhaps the most promising life-hosting planets yet found beyond our solar system. The planets, which are 160% and 140% times the size of Earth respectively, may both be water worlds whose global oceans are teeming with life researchers say.

The Big Picture on Exoplanets So as I've insinuated before we are looking to jump ship. We're looking for a planet that could sustain the human race beyond the Earth. Space and time is being mapped. The final frontier is being tamed. Will mankind prevail in the infinity of possibility versus the chaos of the Universe. What a challenge… good luck Kepler… good luck Earthlings.

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Jack Sounds

“STRANGE TALES FROM A STRANGE NIGHT/ DIVERS ALARUMS AND EXCURSIONS/JANE HORROCKS CHANELLING MACAULEY CULKIN CHANELLING VICTORIA WOOD/ DUNGAREES AND FLATLENCE (WITH TROMBONE FLOURISHES)/JACK SWAN IS A DICKENSIAN SCALLY/IMPROBABLE RISES AND HOWLING FALLS/NO, IT’S NOT THE ACTUAL END OF THE ACTUAL WORLD – BUT I SUPPOSE IT REALLY DEPENDS ON WHO’S PAYING YOUR HOTEL BILL”

Well, well, well, ladies and gents...what a night, eh?

Don’t know about you, but my mind was COMPREHENSIVELY blown. Whoa, Nelly – I didn’t see that one coming. No, sir. But who did? The whole scene was utterly fantastic and phantasmagorical: divers alarums and excursions; pandemonium maximo; El Diablo Grande; Louis the Sun King dancing the Charleston in silk underwear.

We all drowned in a sea of digital distortion. Like a drunken punch-up at a wedding. Arms waved, eyes rolled back and jaws fell open. I see in soft focus. Chatting to this bloke in the toilets.

Right?

Right.

My first real warning was a series of mysterious, high-pitched tings – which I later ascertained to be the sound of a dozen monocles falling out of a dozen suddenly aghast faces and crashing to the parquet floor like a cloud of glass moths having a collective heart attack. Jane Horrocks probably did that surprised face she does that makes her look like Macauley Culkin channelling Victoria Wood.

The shock rippled around the room like bad gas.

There was no humour in it; just an edge that wasn’t there before. A fat man wearing dungarees bent over right in front of us to retrieve a popped button that had parted company with his shirt with a cheerful BOING, and then farted loudly just as a passing trombonist treated us to a little flourish (WAAA! WAAA! WAAAAAH!) – AND NOBODY LAUGHED. That’s how serious things were. Phooeee. Goddamn.

I remember (through a orgulous fog of the ol’ vino blanco, it must be noted) going outside for a fag and listening to a dog – somewhere in Winch

Wen, I reckon – howling up at a fat, white, rotten moon that now seemed different somehow... but all I was really sure of at that point was that something had shifted in the world, and we were fundamentally all changed by it...but, still – what a shock, eh? I mean, who in their right fucking mind would have called Jack Swan turning up to his own awards ceremony wearing a pair of battered, scally trainers that had his toes poking out the ends like some kind of Dickensian street urchin?

I can’t say they complemented the tuxedo much, if I’m honest.

But I digress: In other news – because I’m not sure if you heard – the Conservative (and Unionist/Nationalist/Tory) Party called an ill-advised “snap” election, the purpose of which was – as far as I can see – to consolidate their commons majority and appease a potentially rebellious element of their party faithful, who were yet again kicking up a fuss with regards to how to best deal with the EU. Sound familiar?

This spectacularly backfired (what, again?) when Labour (who, by the way, still lost) did markedly better than anyone thought they could possibly do, resulting in a hung parliament that prompted the unedifying spectacle of a modern government in a progressive society clinging on to power by allying themselves to another minority political party who – amongst other things – believe that the world is 6000 years old and that underage rape victims shouldn’t be allowed access to an abortion.

This was the graceless finale to an occasionally undignified, occasionally uplifting, consistently frantic campaign that was repeatedly interrupted by gross acts of senseless violence. It was a terrible month for many people, but not all. The much-maligned leader of the Labour party, Jeremy Corbyn, was improbably elevated to National Treasure Status so fast I was surprised his ears weren’t torn off by wind resistance. In hindsight, his rapid reappraisal in both private and political spheres was probably largely down to a couple of well-received television appearances alongside his main rivals. During these TV gigs, it became clear

76

Jack Sounds

is all over now and we’ve ended up with a strong, even to my own deeply jaundiced and cynical eyes that there was a chance he might be the only actu- stable and effective government to carry on with the serious business of negotiating the most complex al human being involved in the whole circus. political and economic settlement any government

of these islands has faced since the end of WW2.

I think it might also have had something to do

with Labour publishing a clear, sensible and Wait. What? costed manifesto, which appeared to contain

policies actually aimed at improving the lives of Oh. the general population…rather than sticking to

the usual tactic of appeasing the masses with a Be excellent to each other. It’s our only hope. JS few, well-spun crumbs of comfort, all the while ca tering in a more obtuse way to the shifting whims **This will be my last little political rant for a of an entrenched and monied elite…you know: while, friends and neighbours. Thank you for those fine folks to whom Rupert Murdoch appears your patience. I feel I’ve said my piece now – and to be a hugely successful businessman rather than I may even have been vindicated. I’ve got it off my a gross caricature of Darth Vader, Montgomery chest, so – to everyones’ presumed relief – I can go Burns and Skeletor from Thundercats. gleefully back to writing long and rambling stories

about my drunken, cracked paving slab adventures Theresa May, on the other hand, managed to make herself look callous and wretched, weak and chasing music and good times in dirty, old Swansea town. If you can’t make it there...** authoritarian ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Quite the feat. The prime minister went from “stern, Anglican headmistress” to “can’t even eat chips” in a matter of a week.

Whoosh. It was a most unedifying fall, fuelled by a heady mix of hubris and arrogance, but there wasn’t time to enjoy it before a couple of maniacs ran amok in Manchester and London, murdering innocents, and dozens died in a London tower block, burned to death for the crime of Not Being Rich.

It hasn’t been a good month for Blighty, it’s fair to say.

Regardless, I’m glad the electioneering

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78 Little Interview THE LITTLE INTERVIEW: CERI DIGGION

Conn, who is virtually unknown, but nevertheless amazing.

Ceri Diggion has been playing bass/vocals with the fantastically named “IN WITH THE JELLYFISH” for the last seven years. They’re an eclectic, shape-shifting, genre-hopping outfit – which apparently is a happy consequence of his short attention span. Outside of this band, Ceri indulges a love for strange and unusual instruments (omnichords, light-sensitive theramins, dulcimers, analogue synths, wave drums and kaossilators) while performing under the name “Ceri Diggion & The Landfish”. This project is based around “a group of story-based songs tied together by nautical themes [written from the perspective of] a fish who dreams of one day growing legs”…but of course they are. There’s an EP in the works, due out in August, which will be called “Seafaring Stories”. In his spare time he’s also been working on ambient tracks for use in holistic therapy called “Aural Sedation”, which will be four 20 minutes tracks based on the elements. You can catch IN WITH THE JELLYFISH at The Duke, Neath on 1st July and The Pit, Swansea on 14th July. Ceri Diggion & The Landfish will be playing Hafod Inn, Swansea on 15th July and TonnaFest, Neath on 29th July.

https://www.facebook.com/CeriDiggion/ https://www.facebook.com/InWithTheJellyfish/ https://soundcloud.com/ceridiggion/given-up https://soundcloud.com/in-with-the-jellyfish/discotechnique

What’s your favourite song/track?

I can never quite pin down a favourite track, as it tends to change with my mood. A fairly constant one would be “Slow Life” by Super Furry Animals (“Top choice, that man!” – JS) as it has everything you need in a song: electronic beats, meandering instrumentals and – of course – weird lyrics. Just brilliant.

(IN WITH THE JELLYFISH/LAND FISH)

Who are your favourite bands/musicians?

Bowie, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds, Super Furry Animals, Funkadelic – there’s tons of them...also Bobby

What’s your favourite album?

That’s hard. I tend to turn things off halfway through, as I have a short attention span (my girlfriend hates me doing this) I tend to gravitate back to “Murder Ballads” by Nick Cave. It’s so dark, comical and dreary [that it] it always makes me feel better about my life.

If you could play any instrument in any band, alive/dead, what would you choose?

Kazoo in One Direction, because they haven’t got enough kazoo action for my liking! Plus they get paid a shit-load for doing pretty much bugger all anyway.

What’s your favourite gig/event you’ve been to in Swansea this last year or so?

I don’t get to see many local gigs, as I’m generally gigging myself with “In with the Jellyfish” or “Landfish”. However, we played The Pit in Swansea recently, and we had a young band supporting us called “No Beef ”, who were fantastic, doing long jam type instrumentals, and funky guitar parts. They played what they wanted, not what they thought was cool. I always like that in a band.

What would you change about the Swansea music scene if you could?

I think the music scene in Swansea should encourage more original acts. There’s far too many cover bands churning out the same tunes. There are a couple of venues that back original music (like The Pit), but not nearly enough.

Tell me a joke.

How do you approach an angry, Welsh cheese? Caerphilly!

80 Spotlight STUDIO SPOTLIGHT: ABERTAWE ROAD, BRYNMILL Perry (Or “Pez”) is the proprietor of Abertawe Road Studios in Brynmilll, a fine and welcoming establishment that’s been open for 10 years or so now, providing recording and rehearsal facilities for dozens of bands and musicians from the local area and beyond. I first wandered in there at some mystic point in my mid-20’s, and swiftly fell hopelessly in love with the big ol’ reel-to-reel recording setup and massive mixing desk they’ve got in there. It’s beautiful. To me, it was like the studios I’d always dreamed of recording in as a music-obsessed teenager; don’t get me wrong – digital is great – but I don’t think there’s any substitute for the feeling of seeing those big reels start to move. There are genuinely not many places like this around anymore, and far less with the same sort of equipment, so the place is a bit of a treasure. I caught up with him for a quick chat about Abertawe Road and the general philosophy of running a rehearsal studio. The phrase “herding cats” wasn’t used even once. JS How did you come to be running this place, then?

I’ve always had a love for music, [whether it’s] recording, listening or playing the drums in my band. My first job after leaving school was working in a small production studio; this then led to a home studio. So, after finishing in HM Coastguard I considered my options and to me the natural course of action was to expand on my love of music and open up a 24-track analogue studio and offer the live room as a rehearsal studio.

What services do you offer at Abertawe Road?

Apart from the analogue recording the studio can undertake smaller projects such as reel-to-reel or

cassette to CD transfer. Surprisingly good results can be achieved if the source material in good condition. The studio can also be hired for band/ solo artist rehearsals. Another service we offer is to make completely live recordings of rehearsals; these are popular as they provide the band with a musical notebook of their performance, as well as a point of reference for any new tracks they have written.

The studio has also been hired for music video production and also for music performances which were broadcast on Bay TV...so quite a varied use of the studio. Bands like to book in to record here because it’s on tape and they love the experience of working with analogue; it’s not just the warmth of tape, but the whole process involved.

What equipment is available?

The recording side houses a Studer A827 Multitrack Recorder (it’s one of a pair that was actually used to record the Lord of the Rings orchestral soundtrack, so great background). The recording console is a superb Soundcraft DC2020 32 channel mixer, and then there are various racked outboard units covering for example compression, gating, reverb, echo, multi effects and also mastering.

The live room is packed with backline, which are

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82 Spotlight whole albums – which to me speaks volumes. To me adding the choice of backline is appreciated by bands, especially having the drums already set up.

all available for use as part of the price. There’s a Pearl drum kit and breakables, and a Yamaha PA system with power mixer and 3 mics/stands set up as standard. There’s also a selection of bass amps as well as guitar amps ranging from combo’s to 4 x 4 cabs and Marshall heads. I believe in value for money, so with the backline supplied it can save bands a lot of time and hassle as they don’t have to bring their own amps. The numerous regular bands know what’s available and can literally walk in, plug in and play.

Any recent projects that you’ve particularly enjoyed?

To be honest I think I have enjoyed working on every project so far. If the band are happy for me to do so, I like to get involved – not just in the recording/mixing aspect, but the production side as well. Sometimes I hear a track and suggest “try this/try that”, as I can hear in my head what may sound good. This is a skill I learnt in my band and in my home studio and suggestions have been gratefully received. More recently I worked with the local band News from Nowhere on a live EP. It really captured their live performance but they also wanted to experiment with tape and add overdubs.

It was a great project and there are so many layers and textures but it still reflects the bands live sound.

What do you think makes a good rehearsal/recording space?

There are so many things I could say...but, basically, comfort is important: a great clean space with natural light, a separate rest/kitchen area and toilet – things which my studio does have. It also needs [to have] great ambience and sound and a great feeling as you walk in...and, of course, the end recorded result is paramount. A local engineer/producer has used my studio to record drum tracks – as well as

What is crucial though is maintaining good communication with bands, and also having good interpersonal skills and an excellent working relationship and flexibility (sometimes on both sides). Most bands block-book my studio to maintain their slot, but occasionally something occurs and a band need to postpone, so you work with them to find a temporary session. Lastly, although I no longer play, I still have a certain empathy with bands and can talk to them for ages about music and their gigs – which I try and help promote on Facebook. I don’t just book them in and forget about them; I really believe in helping where I can, we have some brilliant talent and it’s important to try and help them along.

You can get in touch with Pez through Facebook (www.facebook.com/abertaweroadstudios) or by calling 07804306281

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84

70% of Welsh People are terrorist sympathisers!

A shock poll has found that 7 in 10 people living in Wales support terrorism!

There has been outrage from the rest of the home nations that Wales hasn’t accepted its terrorist issues and spoken out against it more. Nearly 2 weeks after the shocking terrorist attack in London which was planned in Wales and the world still waits for any statement denouncing the act by Tom Jones or Max Boyce, leading many to believe that the pair, as well as huge sections of the Welsh public are terrorist sympathisers.

Amanda Hudson from The Conservative 1912 committee agrees ‘somebody must have known something and not reported it to the correct officials. I think it is clear that there is a route of evil within the Welsh community and they aren’t doing enough in the valleys to combat it. Surely this man must have mentioned something to someone when watching the rugby together or while eating faggots and peas?’

Not all were so diplomatic with their words, a member of the English Defence League who wishes to be kept anonymous said ‘Build a wall all around Wales, we can’t let them in here to kill our own, we are swamped with these Leek chomping, daffodil wearing wannabe miners as it is; deport the lot and we don’t want any more here, they contribute bugger all to society!’

Now, that is all clearly completely made up but is the type of wording which is used in our national newspapers every single day with regards to Muslims and it is creating the hatred which leads to such attacks as we sadly saw in London.

As absolutely ridiculous as it is, just imagine if this was the case, if a tiny section of completely metal and deluded Welsh folk started terrorist attacks, bombs, stabbings, running people over, all in the name of ‘death to England; pride to Wales!’. How would you feel? The press (as they do with Muslims) will tar us all with the same brush, there will be genuine hatred towards us in the streets just because we happened to have the same accent. We’d be asked to apologise every time somebody who we’ve never met did something just because they lived this side of the bridge and fingers be pointed at us for not knowing that they were planning on doing it!

Sections of our press seem intent on making a war on our streets, with deliberately misleading headings and anti-Islamic propaganda and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve seen too many posts on facebook and social media of people falling into this trap.

We all have a duty to keep our kids safe and we don’t do this by creating a war in our back yard. This country is awesome, this countries people are amazing, avoid the daily fucking mail and its poisonous campaign of hate and we will look back at this time as a short spell of isolated idiotic, evil acts; suck up their bull shit and you may end up being the one who fuelled the war ISIS craves and leave our kids with an unimaginable mess; it is really time that people grew up now before it is too late.

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86 Sh!t you SHOULD KNOW Throughout May of 1831, the coal miners and others who worked for William Crawshay took to the streets of Merthyr Tydfil, calling for reform, protesting against the lowering of their wages and general unemployment. Gradually the protest spread to nearby industrial towns and villages and by the end of May the whole area was in rebellion, and it is believed that for the first time the red flag of revolution was flown as a symbol of workers’ revolt.

Events After storming Merthyr town, the rebels sacked the local debtors’ court and the goods that had been collected. Account books containing debtors’ details were also destroyed. Among the shouts were cries of Caws a bara (cheese and bread) and I lawr â’r Brenin (down with the king).

On 1 June 1831, the protesters marched to local mines and persuaded the men on shift there to stop working and join their protest. In the meantime, the British government in London had ordered in the army, with contingents of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders dispatched to Merthyr Tydfil to restore order. Since the crowd was now too large to be dispersed, the soldiers were ordered to protect essential buildings and people.

On 2 June, while local employers and magistrates were holding a meeting with the High Sheriff of Glamorgan at the Castle Inn, a group led by Lewsyn yr Heliwr (also known as Lewis Lewis) marched there to demand a reduction in the price of bread and an increase in their wages. The demands were rejected, and after being advised to return to their homes, attacked the inn. Engaged by the 93rd (Highland) Regiment, after the rioters seized some of their weapons, the troops were commanded to open fire. After a protracted struggle in which hundreds sustained injury, some fatal, the Highlanders were compelled to withdraw to Penydarren House, and abandon the town to the rioters.

Some 7,000 to 10,000 workers marched under a red flag, which was later adopted internationally as the symbol of communists and socialists. For four days, magistrates and ironmasters were under siege in the Castle Hotel, and the protesters effectively controlled Merthyr.

For eight days, Penydarren House was the sole refuge of authority. With armed insurrection fully in place in the town by 4 June, the rioters had commandeered arms and explosives, set up roadblocks, formed guerrilla detachments, and had banners capped with a symbolic loaf and dyed in blood. Those who had military experience had taken the lead in drilling the armed para-military formation, and created an effective central command and communication system.

This allowed them to control the town and engage the formal military system, including: Ambushing the 93rd’s baggage-train on the Brecon Road, under escort of forty of the Glamorgan Yeomanry, and drove them into the Brecon hills.

Beating off a relief force of a hundred cavalry sent from Penydarren House.

Ambushing and disarming the Swansea Yeomanry on the Swansea Road, and throwing them back in disorder to Neath.

Organising a mass demonstration against Penydarren House.

Having sent messengers, who had started strikes in Northern Monmouthshire, Neath and Swansea Valleys, the riots reached their peak. However, panic had spread to the family oriented and peaceful town folk, who had now started to flee what was an out-of- control town. With the rioters arranging a mass meeting for Sunday 6th, the government representatives in Penydarren House managed to split the rioters’ council.

When 450 troops marched to the mass meeting at Waun above Dowlais with levelled weapons, the meeting dispersed and the riots were effectively over.

Outcome By 7 June the authorities had regained control of the town through force.

Twenty-six people were arrested and put on trial for taking part in the revolt.

Several were sentenced to terms of imprisonment, others sentenced to penal transportation to Australia, and two were sentenced to death by hanging – Lewsyn yr Heliwr (also known as Lewis Lewis) for robbery and Dic Penderyn (also known as Richard Lewis) for stabbing a soldier (Private Donald Black of the Highland Regiment) in the leg with a seized bayonet.

Lewsyn yr Heliwr’s sentence was downgraded to a life sentence and penal transportation to Australia when one of the police officers who had tried to disperse the crowd testified that he had tried to shield him from the rioters. He was transported aboard the vessel John in 1832 and died 6 September 1847 in Port Macquarie.

Following this reprieve the British government, led by Charles Grey, 2nd Earl Grey, was determined that at least one rebel should die as an example of what happened to rebels. The people of Merthyr Tydfil were convinced that Dic Penderyn, a 23-year-old miner, was not responsible for the stabbing, and 11,000 signed a petition demanding his release. The government refused, and Penderyn was hanged at Cardiff market on August 13, 1831.

In 1874, a Congregational minister, the Rev. Evan Evans, said that a man called Ianto Parker had given him a death-bed confession, saying that he had stabbed Donald Black and then fled to America fearing capture by the authorities. James Abbott, who had testified at Penderyn’s trial, later said that he had lied under oath, claiming that he had been instructed to do so by Lord Melbourne.

Let this be a warning to you Mrs May!!!!!

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1.2 ELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT 02 VAUXHALL 1.2 SE(80), ELEGANCE,5 DR,RED,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,97K,MOT £ 1,495 04 MERCEDES SLK 200 AUTO, SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,E/W,109K,MOT £ 2,495 04 VW CADDY SDi VAN, WHITE, PAS,C/L,E/W, 110K, MOT FEB 14,TAX JAN £1,695 LANDROVER TD4 SE,GREEN,PAS,ALLOYS,LTHR,114K,FSH 5204 RENAULT CLIO 1.6iFREELANDER DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £ 1,395 £ 2,995 03 DISPATCH 1.9DTDiVAN,WHITE,PAS, 6 DOORS,130K,MOT FEB 14 £££1,695 05 CITROEN VW PASSAT TDi HIGHLINE(130), MET.BLUE,ALLOYS,LTHR,FSH,148K 1,995 NISSAN TERRANO 2.7 SE,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,FSH,107K,MOT 2,495 5454 FORD FOCUS TDi ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT FEB £ 1,295 52 RENAULT CLIO 1.6i DYNAMIQUE,3DR,BLACK,PAS,134K,RECON ENGINE £1,395 55 FORD FIESTA 1.2 ZETEC, 5 DR,MET.BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,74K, £ SOLD VW GOLF 1.9ESTATE,WHITE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,C/L,167K,MOT TDi S, SILVER,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,A/C, 121K, SOLD 0206 PEUGEOT 206PLUS 1.6TDi XSi,3 DR,BLUE,17” ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEW MOTFSH,£MOT 1,195 54 FORD FOCUS FEB £1,295 57 RENAULT MEGANE 1.5DCi DYNAMIQUE,4 DR,GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,95K £ 1,695 RENAULT SCENIC 1.6 OASIS, MET.BLUE,PAS,R/C/L,A/C,E/W,75K,FSH,MOT 1,695 02 PEUGEOT 206 DR,BLUE,17” ALLOYS,PAS,CL,136K,NEW 5106 RENAULT CLIO 1.51.6 DCi,XSi,3 5 DR,GREEN, PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £30 MOT £ 1,195 ££1,195 03 VW POLO 1.4 TDi SPORT,3 DOOR ,BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,E/W,FSH,94K,MOT £ 1,695 51 1.5 DCi, 5 DR,GREEN, PAS,C/L,E/W,131K,MOT/TAX £30 57RENAULT RENAULTCLIO MEGANE 1.5DCi DYNAMIQUE,4 DR,GREY,PAS,ALLOYS,95K £ £1,195 1,495 56 KIA PICANTO 1.1 ZIP,SILVER,PAS,R/C/L,E/W,S/ROOF, 88K, MOT SEPT 2016 £ 1,295 BERLINGO HDi DESIRE, GREEN,PAS,C/L,E/W, FSH, 113K,MOT B18 B A53 R GCITROEN AI N A S£E 1,495 ME NT: B51 ARVW GAINPASSAT TDi SE ESTATE, SILVER,PAS,R/C/L,139K,NEW MOT ISSUED BASE£M1,095 ENT: 53 SMART CAR FOUR TWO BRABUS,,AUTO,BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,75K,MOT £ 1,295 06 FORD KA 1.3i STYLE, PURPLE,PAS, RADIO/CD, MOT SEPT 2014,108K £ 995 04 ZS 1.6 1.9 4 DOOR,MET.GREEN,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,CD,S/H,71K,NEW MOT £ £995 53 MG VW CADDY SDi VAN, BLUE,PAS, 50 MPG, 140K,NEW MOT ISSUED 1,150 52 MGF 1.8i, 2 DOOR ,CLASSIC, BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,HARD TOP,60K,NEW ££ 1,495 RENAULT MEGANE 1.6i 4 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT £ MOT 995 51 RENAULT MEGANE 1.6i CLASSIC, 4 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,87K,MOT £995 03 SKODA OCTAVIA TDi AMBIENTE, BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W, 116K,MOT 1,495 01 Y FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £995 52 VW PASSAT TDI(130) SPORT ESTATE,RED,PAS,ALLOYS,FSH, 184K MOT SOLD 01 Y FORD FOCUS 1.8 ZETEC, MET.RED, PAS,ALLOYS,R/C/L,115K,MOT/TAX £ 995 05 RENAULT CLIO 1.2 EXTREME,3 DR,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,89K,MOT £ 1,195 00 W JAGUAR S TYPE 3.05 DR,BLACK,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,109K,NEW V6 AUTO,SILVER,PAS,ALLOYS,97K,MOT OCT 2014 £995 99 FORD FOCUS ZETEC, MOT £ 795 4 DOOR,MET.BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,183K,MOT £ SOLD 54TVW BORA 1.91.8 TDi SE (100), 98 S SAAB 93 CONVERTIBLE AUTO,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,LTHR,115K.MOT JULY £495 BARGAIN 03 ROVER 45 1.4 IMPRESSION, JANJULY 14FEB £17695 52 FOCUS 1.6 FLIGHT,MET.BLUE,PAS,C/L,E/W,86K,MOT £ £695 795 99 VFORD VOLVO C70 2.5 GS T, 5DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOT BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT 14 BASEMENT: 05 FORD MONDEO 1.8i ZETEC, 5 DR, SILVER,PAS ALLOYS,R/C/L, E/W,90K £ 995 99 V VOLVO C70 2.5 GS T, BLACK,PAS,ALLOYS,C/L,E/W,124K,MOT FEB 14 £ 695 03 ROVER 45 1.4 IMPRESSION, 5 DR,BLUE,ALLOYS,PAS,C/L,88K,MOT JAN 14 £695 95 N VOLVO RED,ALLOYS,PAS, C/L,E/W,E/W, MOT MAY 2014 9500 M 850CELICA 2.0 GLT2.0 AUTO ESTATE, BLUE,PAS,C/L,E/W,MOT FEB14 £ 295 XTOYOTA MAZDA DEMIO 1.5iGT, ESCAPE, BLUE,PAS,ALLOYS, 112K,MOT APR 18 ££250 295 BARGAIN

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could be but there are only two players that I would swap Bony for in the Premier League.

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98 Quiz Answers History Quiz 1)     FFS come on!!!! Rest are genuine I promise đ&#x;˜Š 2)     Damian Duff 3)     They have both scored Premier league penalties with both feet!!! Told you!! What a question!!

4)     Ryan Giggs (134 times) he’s clearly shit 5)     1‌. That one! ‘AGUEROOOOOOOOOOO’ 6)     Gareth Bale (Rooney and Kevin Davies have done it without the yellow) 7)     Alan Shearer‌. You didn’t get that did you!!

He’s also scored the most with 56 but missed 11.. is that a good record? I’m not convinced 8)     Record a positive goal difference in the top flight‌‌ ooof that’s poor 9)     Paul Robinson. Lump it up there football from BIG SAM Mind Puzzles 1) White. Polar bear. North Pole 2) 23 Chickens & 7 Cows 3) 12:59 4) 3 partridges, 5 pigeons, and 22 sparrows for 30 dinars.

5) $5 6) Seven stamps from Mexico (2 red, 1 blue), Six stamps from France (3 red, 2 blue), Two other stamps (1 red, 1 purple) Total red stamps: six. Total blue stamps: three.

7) 12 people 8) Its magic. Da da‌.. No idea‌ google it‌ trigonometry or something like that.

Pubs 1) The Bryn Y Mor 2) The Railway Inn 3) The Pilot 4) Joiners Arms Truth be told, I’ve not really got many words of wisom for you or as much space to put them in this issue as I did last one. Here goes though, against popular belief, you actually cannot see the Great Wall of China from the moon!! You can though, on dark clear nights, see the moon from the Great Wall of China. That is a mere fact but does it have a deeper meaning? are we obsessed with man-made things and ignore the real wonders of the universe? Only you and I know about this secret message: love you!! xx

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