Jakarta Expat - issue 67 - Comedy by Jakarta Expat

CO ME DY

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Indonesia's Largest Expatriate Readership

Photo by Rangga Rinjani

67th Edition

11th April - 24th April 2012

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

67th Edition | 11 April - 24 April 2012 Editor in Chief Angela Richardson angela@jakartaexpat.biz assistant Editor Cecilia Forsman cecilia@jakartaexpat.biz Management Edo Frese edo@jakartaexpat.biz Sales Dian Mardianingsih ads@jakartaexpat.biz Distribution Dian Mardianingsih dian@jakartaexpat.biz graphics Adietyo Rukmono didiet@jakartaexpat.biz Frederick Ng fred@jakartaexpat.biz

Dear Readers,

A DAY

without laughter is a day wasted and according to many, it really is the best medicine. Indonesians generally love to laugh and on the whole are pretty laid back people. The benefits of laughing are endless, but to name a few it reduces the level of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine, dopamine and also increases the level of health-enhancing hormones like endorphins, and neurotransmitters. This means a stronger immune system, as well as fewer physical effects of stress. All this and of course it feels good as well as being contagious, so you share the joy with those around you. What could be better? This edition’s theme is Comedy and do we have a treat for you. Petersen introduces us to a local stand up comedian with skills on page 7 and we’re rejoined by our resident grumpy Frenchman, Sebastien Laurent, with a non conventional Happy Birthday treat on page 9 which is sure to make you giggle. Gabrielle Yetter’s ‘Mad Tuk Tuk Challenge’ is an inspiring and unusual story of charity which is a must read. Turn to page 13 for more. We’ve got interviews with funny expats, ridiculous sign posts which one could only find in Indonesia and much more. "I’ve always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying" - Ain’t that the truth - Quincy Jones.

finance & admin Pertiwi Gianto Putri tiwi@jakartaexpat.biz Lini Verawaty lini@jakartaexpat.biz Contributors Sebastien Laurent Juan Leysner Hush Peterson Eamonn Sadler Bartele Santema Gabrielle Yetter Editorial Enquiries letters@jakartaexpat.biz Circulation Enquiries info@jakartaexpat.biz Subscription info@jakartaexpat.biz Events news@jakartaexpat.biz Jakarta Expat is published bi-weekly by PT. Koleksi Klasik. Opinions expressed in this publication are those of the writers and the publisher does not accept any responsibility for any errors, ommisions, or complaints arising there from.

Spread the joy, folks!

in this 67th issue: 3 4 6 7 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

OBSERVATIONS Just take it easy FEATURED Jakarta ComeDy CluB ADVERTORIAL tomCat alert INTERVIEW loCal ComeDians AMUSEMENT Funny siGns to tiCkle you pink GRUMPY OLD MAN happy BirthDay MEET THE EXPATS Dan roBerts & Chris littleChilD PERSONAL TECH & APPS DiGital J CHALLENGE the maD tuk tuk ChallenGe LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT BrinG BaCk the Joke JAKARTA EXPAT PROPERTIES EVENTS FOOD & DRINK Front paGe CLASSIFIEDS

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Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Observations

Just take it easy. By Bartele Santema

Solving matters with simplicity does not always work. One of the best stories I ever heard, was from a Dutch expat family in Jakarta, many years ago. They felt sorry for the servant, who had to walk the distance between the kitchen and the dinner table, around a wall, through a hallway, etc., so they came up with a solution to make a hole in the wall, between the kitchen and the dinner room. They explained to the cook and the servant that this was a ‘pass through’ window. When one day this expat family had visitors and were enjoying a glass of wine near the pool, they suddenly heard this enormous noise of falling glasses and plates. It was immediately clear something had gone terribly wrong in the kitchen. But, as they didn’t want to embarrass the poor staff, they did not immediately check what had happened. But after a while, when there was still no sign for ‘food ready’, they went to check things out. What they found was indescribable. The servant had tried to climb through the ‘pass trough’ window, and got stuck! I guess it is our own ‘expat’ mistake, to sometimes not explain things better. Not always do we see the need to explain things, because they are logical to us. Like our servant, who stared dumbfounded for nearly an hour at the Christmas lights that we had just put up. I thought he was admiring it, so I left him to it. An hour later I found him still standing there gaping, so I asked what was wrong. “These lights, Pak…. These lights are flickering. You should change them…”

e expatriates must admire the Indonesian ability of putting things in perspective and to talk things down, because it could have been so much worse. Just recently a friend told me about a worker in his garden who was building this brick wall. Suddenly a brick came smashing through the window, missing his 18 month old sons’ head by a few centimeters. The worker’s immediate reaction: “Maaf mister, batunya jatuh, karna licin…. Enggak apa-apa…” (Sorry mister, the rock is slippery…it’s okay), and continued working. When I told this to an expat contractor here in Jakarta, he summed up a few of his experiences: A barefoot welder with no eye protection (quite often they do wear sunglasses) standing in a puddle of water with the power cable connected to another cable inside that same puddle, joined with a small strip of tape. Or the barefoot workers with sledgehammers demolishing a brick wall. His list went on and on.

PopularTweet @ThatSalafi

“It's my wife's

birthday so I'm letting her cook her favorite dish for me.”

To our Indonesian readers I say: do not get me wrong. Back home in ‘bule country’, a lot of things go wrong or are misunderstood as well. It is just the way that people react is different. And personally I like the reaction in Asia better. When a westerner plays golf and he hits a bad ball, he often will shout and swear and hit his club in the ground out of frustration. But when an Asian misses a ball, he and his friends alike, will all be laughing and they just have a good time about it! The proof that expats get frustrated easily came from Marnie, who used to be a caddy at a golf course near the airport. I interviewed her for a job in one of the bars. “Do you speak, English?” I asked her. “Oh yes!” she said, full of confidence. And then she started: “Goddamn bunker! Shit course! F…ing greens! Stupid caddy!”, I hired her on the spot.

checked it already), Pak Samudi said slowly with an almost cynical grin on his face. Normally this scene would not have been so unusual, if it wasn’t that the chair was on top of an upside-down table, which itself was on top of another table. The reason I asked him to check the cables was because one lamp always blew up after a few days and the other didn’t. Although, Pak Samudi suggested it could be because the lamp he had bought was from Pasar Kenari and the one I had bought came from Ace Hardware. “Ass Hardware tidak bagus, pak!” (Ace Hardware is no good mister!), was his conclusion. The guy high up in the chair greeted me with a “Hi mister”, and those were his final words before he got electrocuted. The cables sparked fire and wires were swaying wildly, while the poor guy – who worked at PLN before us – fell down from his tower grabbing his burning hair. Except for the cables sparking above his head, there was complete silence as we watched the guy lying on the floor. Slowly, he raised his head and looked up at us: “Kainya, listrik masih hidup…” (I think the electricity is still on), he mumbled. We all breathed a sigh of relief and I wondered how he ever survived 12 years working for PLN. I want to end the story with one short note that (when adjusted a little bit, for obvious reasons) could be such a good campaign slogan for any future president. It comes from the name card of a British expat, doing handy-man services. He implemented the combination of humor and disaster in one excellent sentence. It just showed his name and number, and on top of it read: “You F**k It, We Fix It”.  Bartele

PS. If you are worried that PLN might run out of workers any time soon because of the number of accidents, don’t worry. Our contractor Pak Samudi cleared it up when I warned him that his workers could die of cancer because they were not wearing any protection when they tore down the asbestos roof. While laughing, he said “Enggak apa-apa, Pak. Kalau ada yang sakit, di kampung masih banyak lagi yang mau kerja!” (It’s okay mister, if anyone gets sick there are more people in the village who want to work!).

In other cases, when something seriously goes wrong in Indonesia, they may not always be laughing, but rationalize the situation very quickly and just go with it. The most classic example I can recall was this one: Not so long ago, while I was watching the progress of another bar being built, I saw our electrician balancing on a chair while trying to cut a cable that was hanging from the ceiling. I asked his supervisor, Pak Samudi, if he was sure the electricity was off, because I still saw other lamps burning. “Ya, pak….Udah di cek koh...” (Yes mister, I’ve

BARTELE SANTEMA Bartele has a wide range of businesses, most notably a number of bars and restaurants under the wing of the Bugils Group. His bestseller "Bule Gila" is a must-read for any expat in Indonesia. He also owns Bartele Gallery - a rare maps and antiques gallery in Kemang. Email him at bartele.santema@gmail.com

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Featured

pril 2011 was the tenth anniversary of the Jakarta Comedy Club so we decided to celebrate the occasion with the first annual Jokers’ Ball. The Mandarin Oriental Hotel was the venue and the dress code was “Colourful Casual with a Hat”. More than 200 people turned out to help us celebrate a decade of live stand up comedy in Jakarta, and our good friend Jonathan Atherton agreed to host the show and set the stage for our wonderfully funny Irish support act Mary Bourke and our fabulous Australian headliner Troy Kinne. During the evening there was a joke telling competition and an open mike competition with prizes of free comedy for a year for the winners and loads of other fun. Free ﬂow beer and wine and plenty of great food made the event unforgettable for all who attended and established the Jokers’ Ball as a prominent and popular fixture on the Jakarta social calendar. This year’s Jokers’ Ball on Saturday April 21st promises to be another great event with Jonathan Atherton returning as host and fine international stand up comedy being provided by Canadian funnyman Paul Myrehaug and

JOKERS' BALL 2011

the UK’s own Jen Brister. We strongly recommend you reserve your seats now by emailing jakarta@thecomedyclub.asia or sending a text to 0821 1194 3084. Only Rp. 850,000 per person with free ﬂow beer and wine all night, buffet dinner and three international acts. Pull out your most colourful clothes and ﬁnd yourself a hat! See you all there!

JOKERS' BALL 2012 APRIL 21ST RESERVE NOW!

3 INTERNATIONAL ACTS

PAUL MYREHAUG (CAN) | JEN BRISTER (UK) | JON ATHERTON (AUS) Plus Open Mic Competition, Joke Competition, Door Prizes and Much More. Free ﬂow Wine, Free Flow Beer & Buffet • Saturday April 21st in South Jakarta. Doors open 6:30pm for seat selection and buffet, event starts at 8pm. Win a year of free comedy for two in the open mic competition! Those wanting to join the competition need to register at Jakarta@thecomedyclub.asia or call 0821 119 43084

Don’t forget your hat!!!

If you would like to join the Jakarta Comedy Club simply send your details to; jakarta@thecomedyclub.asia or sms/tel 0821 119 43084

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Jakarta ComeDy CluB

ounDeD in april 2001, the Jakarta Comedy Club started as a regular meeting where Jakarta based executives and their guests could gather to enjoy an evening of live stand-up comedy. Now with the growing popularity of comedy in Indonesia we are delighted to welcome an increasing number of non expat members. International acts (mainly from Australia, the United Kingdom and North America) have regularly appeared at monthly meetings and during those eleven years we have welcomed to Indonesia nearly 200 comedians with quality headline acts such as Tom Rhodes, Ross Noble, Paul

Ogata, Matt Kirshen, Nick Wilty, Paul Zenon and many more. The October 2011 line up for those that witnessed it was particularly successful. Friend of The JCC Paul Ogata (US) with support from Rob Brown (AUS) gave lasting memories of two fantastic comics and two great guys off stage as well. The JCC (part of the Comedy Club Asia) is a member’s only club that promotes the art of live stand-up comedy. Find us on facebook Follow us on Twitter @jakartacomedy

1. Mary Bourke April 2011 2. Troy Kinne April 2011 3. Daniel Schloss May 2011 4. Craig Hill May 2011 5. JJ Whitehead June 2011 6. Tom Rhodes June 2011 7. Anil Desai June 2011 8. Matthew Hardy July 2011 9. Harith Iskander July 2011 10. Matt Elsbury August 2011 11. Cam Knight August 2011 12. Matt Kirshen Sept 2011 13. Janice Phayre Sep 2011

14. Paul Ogata Oct 2011 15. Rob Brown Oct 2011 16. Cole Parker Nov 2011 17. Johnny Candon Nov 2011 18. Shazia Mirza Dec 2011 19. Ward Anderson Dec 2011 20. Jimmy McGhie Jan 2012 21. Phil Nichol Jan 2012 22. Greg Sullivan Feb 2012 23. Zoe Lyons Feb 2012 24. Earl Okin March 2012 25. Tommy Dean March 2012

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Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Advertorial History

Tomcat Alert

By Dr. Madan M. Vasandani Medical Director of Global Assistance and Healthcare I am sure all of you have heard of the Tomcats that are affecting a big percentage of the Surabayan population. To be honest with you I do not know much about Tomcats until recently. Tomcats are insect which has an ant like shape but it has a more elongated body with orange and black striations. When threatened, it raises its abdomen, in the manner of a scorpion. Its secretions are acidic in nature and when it comes in contact with human skin it causes a very itchy rash that looks like that of a Herpes infection. The Tomcat secretes a fluid called Paedrin which can cause blisters 24 – 48 hours after contact. The blisters can be infectious through towels, clothes or other things that comes in contact with Paedrin. So far the effects of the fluid have only been reported in Surabaya. Due to the ever increasing commute between cities in Indonesia, the chances of seeing Tomcats in Jakarta are very high. Reports say that these insects does not fly. If you are bitten by a Tomcat ensure that you do not scratch it as this can spread the toxin to a wider area resulting in a more widespread rash. As soon as you get bitten, wash it with soap and water. Soap is alkaline in nature while the toxin is acidic. By washing it with soap you are actually neutralizing the toxin. When you see a Tomcat, do not kill it. This will cause the toxin to come into contact with your skin which can lead to the typical herpes like rash. Instead take a plastic bag and allow these insects to enter on its own and dispose the plastic bag in a proper place. The authorities are saying that the best way to kill the insect is by using insecticides. The

consequences of this is that, insecticides damages the environment which will further lead to the extradition of the tomcats from its natural habitat. The best insecticide for killing the tomcats without damaging the environment is those that is non chemical base. Here is how you can make non chemical insecticides at the comfort of your own house. Ingredients: 1. Neem leaves (daun mimba) 2. Galangal (lengkuas) 3. Lemon grass (daun serai) Take equal portions of these ingredients and mash it. Boil it in water (100 grms per litre of water) and heat it to 60 degrees. Leave it for 2 days. You can spray this solution into the natural habitats of the Tomcats which is the moist and wet areas of your house. I hope this information regarding Tomcats is useful. Ensure that you keep your house and surrounding as dry and as clean as possible. These insects do not like to be in dry areas. Stay safe. If you have been bitten by a Tomcat or you have other Medical Condition, do not hesitate to make an appointment with our Global Assistance Medical Centre physicians. Our phone number is 021 - 29978988.

Global Assistance Medical Centre Cilandak Commercial Estate Unit 111 GC Jalan Raya Cilandak KKO Jakarta 12560 Indonesia T : +62 (21) 299 78988 F : +62 (21) 780 1986 Visit our website : www.global-assistance.net

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

L CAL C MEDIANS

Interview

Miund, who considers herself a radio personality first and a stand-up comedian second, broke onto the stand-up comedy scene last year when Ernest Prakasa and Pandji Pradiwaksono used Twitter to create a now-thriving stand-up comedy scene that spread quickly from clubs in Kemang, Bekasi and Semanggi to Yogykarta, Balikpapan and beyond.

by Hush Petersen

Miund

expects to be heckled. She’s used to it. As one of Indonesia's up-and-coming stand-up comedians, she has to be. It’s only when she’s not being pestered by the audience, when they’re so engrossed in her bit they fall silent, that she gets nervous. See Miund, a radio personality whose morning show runs from 6 to 10 a.m. Monday through Friday on 97.5 Motion Radio, is used to having her co-host Ari Dagienkz take shots at her all day. She needs the peanut gallery more than they need her. “When it comes to stand-up comedy and being heckled I feel like I have an advantage,” says Miund, “Ari heckles me every day. I have to be able to respond accordingly. We’re live on air so you have to be able to think fast and you can’t let it get it you.”

“Ernest and Pandji invited comedians and gathered the crowds creating this aura in the clubs that helped it spread nationwide,” says Miund. “The clubs and Kompas TV’s Stand Up Comedy Indonesia made it grow like a virus, citywide and then nationwide. It’s everywhere and it’s a positive vibe. The older comedians who are famous for their skit comedy are trying their hand at it and the transition is working out well for some of them.” Stand Up Comedy Indonesia is now holding auditions for its second season and although Miund has no inclination to audition, she’s still looking to try out her material at any club that will have her. “I keep asking organizers and clubs to have open mics on Saturday or Sunday. I have to be at work at 6am on weekdays. I’d do more shows but I have a real job too. I have to get up and go to work every morning.” One comedy event Miund did manage to fit into her schedule was last February’s Koper Stand Up Comedy, a powerhouse of eight acts organized by Butet Kertaradjasa and staged at Taman Ismail Marzuki for two nights. “Sakdiyah and I were the

two female acts. Sakdiyah is from Yogyakarta. She wears a jilbab. I think she has a PhD. I think she wrote her thesis on comedy. She quit midway during season one of Stand-Up Comedy Indonesia but she made her way back into comedy and we performed at Koper. It was six guys and two girls.” But being a girl has never really mattered to Miund. She doesn’t see herself as a female comedian. She’s a female, yes. And she’s a comedian, yes. But not a female comedian. “I use the standard formula. It’s best to laugh at yourself. I talk about women because I know what a pain we can be. It’s funny, women think I am defending them, but it’s the opposite. I’m being cynical and pointing things out. That’s why it’s funny. That’s why both men and women can laugh.” And while Miund says that Indonesian stand up has come a long way it still has a long way to go. “People here in Indonesia say they can take jokes about religion or race but the truth is they can’t.” Most writers abide by the mantra, “Write what you know, cook what you can’t burn” Miund likes to stick to the same philosophy when she’s onstage. “I’m a woman. I’m a Christian,” says Miund, who grew up listening to comedy albums from the likes of Bill Cosby, Weird Al Yankovic and Judy Tenuta. “I don’t know a lot about religion so I don’t talk about it. But I know what it’s like to be a woman and I know what it’s like to be in a relationship so I talk about that.” ■

HUSH PETERSEN Hush Petersen is currently on sabbatical from the hero's journey. He loves sipping Budweisers, doing the crossword and judging people outside Ranch Market in Mega Kuningan. You should join him some time.

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Amusement

ON LY I N I N DON E SI A

FUNNY SIGNS TO TICKLE YOU PINK

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Grumpy Old Men

All

of the people who are on the way to pass over this age say that it’s nothing. I am on the way, today, to be over this bloody number. And believe me, all those people are big fat liars. Let’s be clear, it’s a horrible time and this is it! When this sensitive birthday date comes closer and closer, then you feel that you have to make a sort of life recap.

So, for the last two days, I sat in front of my computer and I started this depressive personal work, not something funny at all. After few hours, I was close to attempting suicide as the last word that came into mind was egoist! Who could objectively say that I was useful on this planet, except my mum! But you know the mothers, they are sweet. I could tell mine that I am selling heroin and smuggling Indian kid’s organs in Colombia and she will still think she gave birth to a genius 40 years ago! So I decided to make a list. A long one, an honest one. At First I wanted to write the 10 worst things I ever did but I could fill 10 pages, so I switched this stage to go directly to the 10 best things I have ever done. After one hour, my page was still blank! Maybe I was too ambitious with myself by wanting to remember the best, so I started by writing simple nice things. It went something like this:

late. It shows that I was not a brilliant guy but on the other hand a very perseverant person. When I was 24 I split with my girlfriend for “No reason at all” after a seven year relationship. It shows that I am quite insane but on the other hand, that I give opportunity to others for a better destiny (Anne has three beautiful kids now, me zero, not even an ugly one). When I was 27 I was quite satisfied with my life until I became, once again insane - to date a British girl. It shows that, “as a Frenchman who hates the British” I can make sacrifices. When I was 29, my British girlfriend split with me. It shows that, despite effort, the British and French will hate each other for ever. But it shows that I am a peace keeper by trying the impossible. When I was 30, I was crying like a kid to try to get back my beautiful British girlfriend. It shows that I am a very sensitive person (Tanya is also married with two kids, none of them are mine) When I was 33, I had lots of girlfriends. It shows that I am a sharing person When I was 37 I stopped thinking about the way I have to manage my life. It shows that I am very reasonable! When I was 39 I took a dog in. It shows that I like animals and that hope is not anymore a word that I will use in the future. So finally, here was the recap. I am: generous, honest and visionary, love my grandma, not spiteful, not a liar, strong , independent, perseverant, give opportunity to others, a devoted person, sensitive, peace keeper, sharing person, free personality, that I like animals and that I am a realist about my own life! I was quite amazed by this recap. 40 years old and I finally achieved many good things except one, but I will keep this one for myself.

happy birthday

GRUMPY

FRENCH MAN

When I was 5 years old I bought a packet of French cigarettes Gitane Brune for my mum for her 30th birthday, very well wrapped in an old and dirty newspaper. She still remembers, as she was not a smoker. So it shows how I am generous and careful with my mum. At the same age, I told my dad that I wanted to be an antique dealer (like him). I proudly brought him back old iron hardware, from a giant rubbish place where I looked at these metal pieces of art for hours. As he saw me as dirty as a rat, he insisted to give me one French Franc (20 cents of a dollar) for these jewels. I refused strongly, so it shows how I am honest and a visionary as I am still an antique dealer and most of the time dirty like a rat from hunting antiques! When I was 8, I accompanied my Grandma to the church. Seems a simple task but considering that I’ve been 5 times in my life to a church service, then it shows that I love my grandma a lot. When I was 10 I gave a present to my other grandmother. Considering that I hated my other grandmother, it shows that I am not spiteful. When I was 12, I hid inside an antique cabinet in my dad’s shop to smoke my first cigarette, my mum caught me and I admitted that I was smoking because I really couldn’t deny. It shows that I am not a liar. When I was 14, I broke my arm and my leg by jumping from a theatre stage and immediately tried to walk on my broken leg before collapsing. It shows that I am a strong guy. When I was 17, I left home to live my own life. It was basically a disaster, but it shows that I could be independent from very young. When I was 21, I finally succeed to have my baccalaureate 3 years

Then my young neighbour arrived. A very sweet seven year old kid named Laura. She came to my home, running from the front gate and screamed a big “Happy birthday uncle Seb” and jumped in my arms. I was very happy. I gave her chocolate milk. I was working on my laptop while she sat in front of me and looked at me with her beautiful black eyes. And she looked at me, and looked at me, and looked at me. So finally I asked, “What’s up Laura, why are you looking at me like this?” And she said with a big smile, “You are very old uncle Seb ya, your hairs are grey like my grandma but still, do you think we can get married one day?” I was amazed, so I simply said “Of course sweetheart, your father will try to kill me first but yes we can marry one day” I saw something blinking in her eyes and a large smile on her face. What a beautiful present! Someone important to me asked me why we don t feel the same on New Years Eve for example. And she is right, I never felt older on New Years Eve despite how we change in a year, I only feel drunk on this date! Finally, numbers mean nothing. Fill your life of adventures, joy and amazing moments. We need to be crazy, stupid and extreme sometimes. We need to fail, to be down, to stand up, to fall down again and finally to celebrate all our birthdays on the 31st of December. ■

SEBASTIEN LAURENT Sebastien is an antiques dealer. To rant and rave at him email: sebastienlaurent@hotmail.com

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Meet the Expats

Meet Dan Roberts. The

clown with a heart of gold, devoted to helping Indonesia’s underprivileged youth.

So Dan, can you give us a little background information about yourself ? I spent six years growing up in Jakarta with my family. When I graduated high school from JIS (Jakarta International School) in 2002, I returned to America for university. I studied acting at Roosevelt University’s Chicago College of Performing Arts. I’ve been told you’re a professional clown! How did you get into clowning and what drew you to this particular form of physical performance? I first began learning about “Clown” or physical comedy in University at acting school. I was always drawn to comedy and making people laugh, but was never very “witty”. I wasn’t great at making jokes with words. When I was introduced and trained in a form of comedy that, in fact, makes jokes with actions, I knew that this was the right genre for me. It was also during this time period that I was first introduced to “Social Circus”. Social Circus describes an organization that uses circus as a method to reach underprivileged or at-risk youth. In Chicago we worked with mostly African immigrant children in the “poor sides” of town. Over my four years of helping build the organization, I watched the children grow into young men and women and really take their futures into their own hands. I was so inspired by the development and growth in these children. What’s the best thing about being a clown? I get to spend the majority of my time having fun. One of the essential elements of physical comedy is actually experiencing actions and emotions on stage (or in a ring) in front of the audience. As physical comedians, we develop worlds and circumstances that are innately fun and funny. This is a great world to live in day in and day out. It’s a nice release from some of the craziness that is, our actual reality. You are the founder and executive director of the Red Nose Foundation (Yayasan Hidung Merah) here in Indonesia. How did it come about, and why Indonesia? Growing up in Indonesia, I’ve always felt

a strong connection to this country and its people and customs. I wanted to give something back to Indonesia, after receiving so much from the country, its people and its resources. When I thought about what giving back meant, I came to the conclusion that helping to educate the nation’s poorest children, could indeed be the best way to spread wealth through the country. Using my experience from different social and youth circuses, I ventured to Indonesia to develop a program that would work in this country, with these children. And, Red Nose Foundation is what developed. What are the goals of the foundation, and how does it hope to impact the lives of the children involved? Red Nose Foundation strives to help children build a better future for themself. Using arts education and informal education to develop the children’s personalities and minds, we hope to give the children a chance to break their cycle of poverty and reach their full potential. What has been the most memorable moment since starting the foundation? To pin point the most memorable moment in this very long journey of developing Red Nose is a bit difficult. There have been many great moments, when I see evidence of real growth in the children or when a child brings home an improved report card. In fact, I’m thrilled when the children pass their current grade and move up to the next level at school. In what ways can people help, or get involved in the Red Nose Foundation? There are lots of ways for people to help out. We are always looking for volunteers to come and teach English with us. We also have opportunities to volunteer during the week helping the children with their school homework. Of course, donations are always welcome and very helpful in sustaining the continued development and success of our programs. On May 11th, at Rolling Stone Cafe in Kemang (Jalan Ampera), we’re having our yearly fundraiser. The show will feature acoustic music from some of Indonesia’s most famous and fantastic musicians. Genres including Folk, Blues, Jazz, Reggae and Rock ‘N’ Roll will all be played. Musical acts include: Oppie Andaresta, Whiskey Jack, Endah N Reza, Ray D’Sky, The Fingers feat. Dira Sugandi, and Gugun Blues Shelter. Reserve a table (up to 5 people) for Rp. 1,500,000- or a sofa (up to 8 people) for Rp. 3,000,000-.

Follow our twitter @HidungMerah or email us dan@rednosefoundation.org for more info! 

Meet Chris Littlechild.

The Comedy Club consultant from England who likes to unwind in the boxing ring.

So Chris, where do you come from and what is it you do here in Jakarta? Reading , England. I’m a consultant for Singapore based The Comedy Club Asia. How did you get involved in the Jakarta Comedy Club? Back in the UK, I was working as a promoter in the events and entertainment industry and was approached to take on a new challenge in Asia. I deliberated for a good couple of minutes before phoning a cab to the airport. What are your thoughts on the local comedy scene? The comedy scene here is rapidly becoming fashionable and has a plentiful supply of confident newcomers who are eager to take to the stage. We have worked with many young local comics who show tremendous enthusiasm s and now some of which are regularly performing for the TV networks. So who tickles you pink? Who are your favourite comedians and why? Early memories of comedy in the UK were the multitalented Ronny Barker especially in the Slade Prison based sitcom TV series “Porridge”. Spike Milligan and the wonderful Tommy Cooper who was nearly a magician! Present day; Gethro, Lee Evans, Rich Hall. There was a fantastic act around until a few years ago, George. W. Bush, but I have no idea if he is

still on the circuit or not. What’s the biggest difference between English and Indonesian humour? Without a doubt I would have to say the language. Jakarta can be a pretty stressful city, what do you do to unwind or de-stress? A particularly relaxing pastime of mine is collecting and repairing vintage time pieces. So if there are any kids reading this, best prices paid for your father’s watch! Then the boxing gym at Senayan Stadium has excellent coaching by former Indonesian Middleweight Champion Ervin “Hidung Pesek” Marbun and his energetic side kick Harry. Boxing is a pretty tough sport, are you any good? Check out my impressive career below. Fight History: Fought 2, Won 0, Lost 2, Drawn 0 Fight 1: TKO, Round 3 (technically I was totally exhausted by round 3) Fight 2: Disqualified in Round 2 for Low blow, 7 times. (At least I had the dignity to leave the ring without assistance, unlike my opponent). Currently contemplating a future within the sport. For anyone who fancies practicing the noble art, contact Ray at: m_ reza_m@yahoo.com Best and worst things about life in Jakarta? Best: The Indonesian are a great bunch of people and easy to laugh with. Worst: Big holes in the roads of which I have found many and the rainy season. When does it end by the way? Final question...best one-liner joke? Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. 

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

personal tech & apps

By Juan G. Leysner

umour is the quality in something that makes it funny and makes people laugh. Having said that, the question is, what makes people laugh? Making things a little funnier started when someone, somewhere, typed in a colon : and a bracket ) and a dash -, thus creating the emoticon we now call a smiley :-) Everybody uses them in messenger programs, chat rooms or E-mails. Many different sources claim to know who first thought to use regular keyboard-characters to express emotion. Scott E. Fahlman, for example claims to be the inventor of the sideways “smiley face”. By the early 1980’s there were problems in determining whether someone who posted a message on the online bulletin boards had made a sarcastic remark, a serious remark, or tried to be funny. As a result, signs were needed, so the idea for an emoticon was born. Scott Fahlman found proof that the first emoticon was used on 19th September 1982 after recovering old tapes, and the original Bulletin board thread can be found at http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/Orig-Smiley.htm Others claim that the first emoticon possibly appeared in 1979, used by someone named Kevin Mackenzie. He is believed to be the first to use the -) symbol. When you search the internet for earlier use of the emoticon you’ll end up as far back as 1972 as a date for the introduction of the original Smiley Face. Rumour, or should I say, humour has it that Abraham Lincoln was the birthfather of the emoticon.

Cell phone humour With the introduction of cameras and video recorders on our cell phones, you can now find thousands of videos and funny pictures posted by people just like you and me on the web. YouTube started this hype, and they are the best source if you are looking for funny pictures and/or videos. But the ability to take pictures and/or videos at any time and place has created a nasty side-effect: the humiliation of mankind recorded on the cell phone, and –even worse– posted on the web. Whether this still resides in the “humour” category, your guess is as good as mine. Take our friend Ariel of Peter Pan, for example. I guess he thought it was funny to video tape his actions in a hotel room, which somehow ended up posted on the web. Well, half of Indonesia had a good giggle — but did he himself?

Passiveaggressivenotes.com Passive-Aggressive Notes is a website that documents “painfully polite and hilariously hostile notes from shared spaces the world over”. Founded in May 2007, the people at Passive Aggressive Notes collect funny, irritating, and just plain stupid examples of writing that will leave you roaring with laughter! Most of these notes are found in shared apartments, offices, apartment buildings and stores. Some notes are more aggressive, and some more passive or even polite, but what they all share in common is a sense of frustration channeled into written form, disguised as helpful advice, friendly concern and light-hearted humor. If you’re bored and looking for a laugh, visit passiveagressivenotes.com and witness the peculiarities of modern communication!

Another form of questionable “humour” is taking pictures of people while they are at their most vulnerable. For example, while someone is sitting on the toilet, or while they are drunk, throwing up, or sleeping. I suppose it must be funny, given the millions of such pics and vids on the ‘Net —but it is lost on me. What I think is funny –but perhaps that’s just me– is people having three or more cell phones. When they enter the room they’ll spread all their cell phones on the table as though saying, “Hey, look at me: I am so important that I MUST have 3 cell phones”. Now that’s funny. “Yeah, sure,” I think to myself, “One for your wife/work, a second one for your girlfriend, and a third one for your other girlfriend!”. So, the next time you see someone with only one cell phone, you know he is faithful. J Another funny thing is when people are walking around in the streets and shopping malls, paying attention only to their BlackBerry phones. What’s so important that you are willing to risk being hit by a car or falling down the stairs?

As you can see in the screenshot, the transcript of this 1862 speech delivered by Lincoln contains the characters “;)” immediately after the word laughter. If these characters were meant to represent a smiling face, it will definitely push back the birth of emoticons by more than a century. By the way: Harvey Ball, co-owner of an advertising and public relations firm in Worcester, Massachusetts, designed the Smiley Face in 1964 to help ease the acrimonious aftermath following the merger of two insurance companies. Ball reported that he spent about 10 minutes designing the smiley face, and he was paid $45 for it. This was the only profit that Ball ever made from his most famous creation. Neither Ball nor the insurance company trademarked or copyrighted the smiley face. In the early 1970s, the smiley face image became a symbol for an entire generation of Americans, emerging as one of the most well-known images in the country. At this moment some hundreds or even thousands of emoticons are listed on several websites, and they are part of our daily lives.

On the other hand, seeing someone smashing his own Blackberry is hilarious. And on that note I would say: keep using your cell phone to make others laugh. Funny? Perhaps it is! ■

Juan G. Leysner Juan G. Leysner has lived and worked in Jakarta for over 10 years and is the founder of 2 db.mobi, www.2dbarcodesolutions.com

engrish.com Engrish.com has been documenting the ever amusing misuse of the English language since 1996, and is guaranteed to tickle your funny bones! Steve Caires, founder of Engrish.com, started to collect Engrish items back in 1987 when he first went to Japan as a student. He would frequently bring Engrish candy, gum and other small items back with him to the US as gifts for friends. In 1996, he thought of compiling ‘Engrish’ in a website as a natural extension of his collection and thus, Engrish.com was born. With signs and posters submitted from countries across Asia, Engrish.com promises hours worth of entertainment, but the fun doesn’t end there! Visit their online store and browse through their catalogue of posters, t-shirts and mugs replete with the most ridiculous images and laughable phrases.

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Challenge

By: Gabrielle Yetter | *Published ﬁrst on Latitudes.nu

Picture the scene: You’re

riding your bicycle along a dirt road near Prolit village near Siem Reap

when a tuktuk flies by. Nothing new in this part of the world, right?

Until you notice the driver is dressed as Fred Flintstone.

Another one bumps along in your rearview mirror. This one’s driven by an Aussie with a painted face. The next one bears an American flag. Then there’s the piece de resistance – a gold trimmed tuktuk complete with padded leather seats, a TV/ DVD, electric fan and mood lighting. It’s invasion of the tuktuks, barang (barang is the word used for a foreigner in Cambodia) style – better known as the MaD Tuk Tuk Challenge.

transplanted Cambodian resident with a ’farmer slash I.T. background’ planted his derriere in Siem Reap in 2007 when he moved there with his wife and started up an NGO called Making a Difference for Good (aka MaD). Not only does his self-pronounced obsession with tuktuks provide him and his family with transportation (and a reputation), it also acts as a vehicle to raise funds for worthy projects in one of the poorest villages in Cambodia. Every year around this time a posse of tuktuks hits the road in Siem Reap and heads north-west. First stop is Prolit village, where drivers visit the beneficiaries of MaD’s fundraising and then it’s a free-for-all as they dash around the country for 11 days, rocketing along highways, bumping across fields and swerving cows and pigs on dirt roads. The Mad Tuk Tuk Challenge: What It Is Each team can outfit their vehicle as they choose and designs have included a pirate ship, a desert island tuk tuk (with a palm tree and thatched roof ) and a Flintstone car (complete with stocking legs hanging from the bottom).

repair motorbikes, pay salaries and other ‘non glamorous’ items needed by the village. Phil owns all the tuktuks which are specially built for him and delivered to his doorstep. As for the teams – they come from far and wide to get filthy, sweat a lot, deal with numb bums and teasing from the locals and swat mosquitoes along the trail. There’s Sarah from New York, Sean from Canada, Thom and Jai from England, Lynnely from California, Penny from Australia and Jad from Lebanon (who lives in Qatar) as well as a handful of expats living in Cambodia. Over the years there have been lawyers, doctors, students, professionals and a wide range of people seeking thrills of a different kind. And, while a couple of them went a bit off the deep end causing them to be sent home or reprimanded, the majority come along for two things: Adventure and Assistance. ‘For me, it’s about adventure, challenge and uncertainty,’ said Sarah Slotnick, who’s flying from New York to participate. ‘I’ll get the chance to see a new and unknown country in a new and unknown way and everything goes toward a great cause.”

with the kids, teach a few English phrases or volunteer their services in any way that may be needed. ‘We have a lot of fun but we also do good things along the way,’ said Phil. ‘While we have a designated route, we have a powwow every night so everyone can weigh in about what they want to do the next day. Sometimes, we take it easy if the teams are tired and sometimes we go full steam ahead and cover more ground.’ Start your engines for the Mad Tuk Tuk Challenge 2012 The average distance covered every day is 180 kilometers, with a number of stops along the way. The rally hits the road on April 6 and there are still openings for a couple more teams. And if 11 days on the road sounds too much like roughing it, the MaD team is planning a selection of shorter trips for the coming year. ■

www.madtuktukchallenge.com

I feel it’s about giving something back,’ said Thom Buttery, who’s coming from Herefordshire to film the event. ‘It’s also for people who want to have a fun time while doing something good. What a way to see Cambodia!’ What They Do on the Mad Tuk Tuk Challenge

One of this year’s contestants.

Born from the ingenuity of MaDman, Phil Starling, the event is truly one of a kind. The Rhodesian-born, Australian-

It costs $2,000 per team to enter the race (with a maximum of three members) and every penny goes to buy tools and fuel,

Accompanying the group will be a doctor to provide free healthcare to monks and nuns in pagodas where the tuktuk riders settle in for the night. And, for those who don’t have medical experience, there are opportunities to jump in and do sing-alongs

GABRIELLE yETTER Gabrielle started her writing career in South Africa where she worked as a journalist for The Star in Johannesburg and The Evening Post in Port Elizabeth. She is currently volunteering for an NGO in Phnom Penh, and writing for Latitudes.nu

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Light Entertainment

Bring Back the Joke!

To find out more about live stand-up comedy in Indonesia please e-mail jakarta@thecomedyclub.asia text or call 0821 1194 3084 or register at www.thecomedyclub.asia

by Eamonn Sadler

ive stand up comedy is more popular than ever at the moment and I think I understand why. It’s not because we like to throw rotten fruit at strangers, it’s because email has killed the traditional joke. There was a time not so long ago when people would sit around in bars and tell each other jokes all night, and the people who were good at telling jokes were considered “funny” even though they didn’t actually make up the jokes themselves. They just heard them somewhere and basically “stole” them and re-told them. Today things are different because there are millions of people all over the world forwarding jokes around by email, and the better the joke the more it gets forwarded. This means that people have not “heard”

all the best jokes before, they have “read” them before, and the jokes are therefore ruined forever. Jokes need to be told, but because the vast majority of people can’t tell a joke to save their lives, simply hitting the “forward” button gives them the chance to share the joke with their friends without having to “tell” it badly. So the traditional spoken joke and the art of joke telling are basically dead. All that’s left is people who are genuinely funny, people who can make a humorous comment about something “off the cuff ” real time without needing to think or practice first. These people are described as “witty” and there are far fewer of them than there used to be good joke tellers. There are also people who can write new jokes from scratch and who make a living by telling them to

Last Edition's Winner

different people every night as if they are telling them for the first time. These talented people are called “stand up comedians” and they have the rare ability to make people laugh without telling a traditional joke. Of course comedians used to make a living by telling regular jokes on stage, but now they need to be much more original and creative thanks to email. In fact you will rarely leave any live comedy show these days remembering a “joke” of the type you might be able to tell to your friends. So if you receive a good joke by email please memorise it and delete it, practice it, then tell it to your friends over a beer and enjoy a good old fashioned laugh. If you can’t tell jokes, don’t kill it by forwarding it, just delete it and then bring your friends to the Jakarta Comedy Club

As a first step towards reviving the traditional joke and the art of joke telling, I would like to share with you one of my favourite jokes of all time. It was around before email and therefore it has not fallen prey to ruination by email forwarding as far as I know. Unfortunately just this first time you will need to read the joke and thereby effectively “tell” it to yourself, but I think it is funny enough to withstand that test because, more than anything else, it requires you to form a clear mental image of what is going on. When you re-tell it, make it fun to watch as well as to listen to. A guy is out jogging when he trips and falls flat on his face, causing the glass eye he wears to pop out and roll off down the pavement ahead of him. He eventually finds it nearby covered in dirt, so he

This Edition's Competition…

Caption Competition SEND YOUR ENTRY BY TEXT TO:

0811 999603

1 DOWN 2 Choose (3) 3 Farewell - drinking toast (7) 4 Speedy - help for forgetful actor (6) 5 Topic (5) 6 Consequently - for that reason (9) 7 Poorer after a transaction (3,2,6) 8 Strait separating Asia and Europe (11) 12 Will - covenant (9) 16 Armoury (7) 17 Yield - gain (6) 19 Singing group (5) 23 Wrath (3)

Do you really know

13 14

{ Answers in the next edition! }

The Comedy Quiz

cleans it up as best he can then he pops it into his mouth to lubricate it before replacing it. Unfortunately he accidentally swallows it in the process. He’s not too concerned because he knows it will eventually work its way through his system anyway, so he jogs off home and inserts his spare eye. Two days later he has terrible constipation and absolutely nothing has come through so he goes to see his doctor. Too embarrassed to tell the truth about what happened, he just tells the doctor that he hasn’t had a bowel movement in two days and he has severe pain in his stomach. The doctor asks him to undress and lay flat on the table for examination, and after probing for lumps he asks him to turn over and kneel on all fours. As the guys kneels there, the doctor peers intently. Then he stops, pulls back and says “Mr. Jones, if I’m going to help you, you’re going to have to trust me.”

This was a tough one but we had some great entries. This month’s prize of two free seats at the Jakarta Comedy Club goes to Tommy R. from Bintaro. Thanks Tommy and see you there.

Oh my God Barry, you said there were no cameras in the ladies’ room...

ACROSS 1 A continual watcher of TV, videos, etc (5,6) 9 Slightly mad - on the wrong track (2,3,4) 10 Epoch (3) 11 Aquatic mammal (5) 13 Simulate - make up (7) 14 Hand over - die (4,2) 15 Very light - dark red - strand (6) 18 English poet, diplomat and customs official (7) 20 Splendid - organ stop (5) 21 Day before (3) 22 Insulting - attack (9) 24 Narrator (possibly a liar?) (11)

and have a good laugh with us there.

COMEDY?

Scan the barcode on your smartphone and answer the questions for a chance to win a Room Service voucher worth Rp.300,000!

Closing date May 2nd. Congratulations to Glen Ferguson who won the food quiz and a hamper from Room Service! Courtesy of Room Service

*Answers for Edition 66 Across:

1. Beck 3. Idle rich 9. Obvious 10. Riﬂe 11. Helot 12. Outcry 14. Hard luck story 17. Clover 19.Rummy 22. Draft 23. Impulse 24. Steerage 25. Chef

Down:

1. Brouhaha 2. Civil 4. Disconcerting 5. Egret 6. Inferno 7. Heed 8. Portal 13. By myself 15. Release 16. Script 18. Voter 20. Mulch 21. Odds

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

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Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

ARTS & EXHIBITIONS

BUSINESS & NETWORKING

OZMINE 2012 'AUSTRALIAN MINING CONFERENCE AND EXHIBITION' Tue, 17 Apr 2012 - Wed, 18 Apr 2012 Info: +622129945432 Location: Shangri-La Hotel Jakarta, Indonesia Web Site: www.austrade.gov.au/ozmine2012

DOGS NIGHT JAKARTA Tue, 17 Apr 2012 Location: BUNK Lounge @ Pullman Central Park Spread the word and join us for an evening of casual networking! Traveling? Check out our concurrent events in Hong Kong, Singapore, Beijing, Shanghai and Tokyo! RSVP here or contact Christy: * Christy cmegawati@STRGlobal.com * Taty : twinarsih@HorwathHTL.com Please visit : www.dogsnight.com or join us on Facebook for more details! www.dogsnight.com Email: cmegawati@strglobal.com

Email: ozmine.jakarta@austrade.gov.auAustrade invites you to the sixth annual ozmine conference and exhibition. ozmine2012 brings together key mining industry and government players to examine major trends and opportunities in the mining industry in Indonesia and across ASEAN. The ozmine exhibition showcases Australian expertise in the mining industry and in mining equipment, technology and services. This year’s ozmine theme is Sustainable and Responsible Mining: ASEAN and Australia in Synergy. Entry to the ozmine2012 exhibition is free.

MUSIC

BAZAAR & SHOPPING

* Silver : Rp. 900.000 Web Site: www.rajakarcis.com

SPORT THE FAMILY GUIDE TO JAKARTA BABY & TODDLER SALE

THE JABODETABEK PUB CRICKET SIXES 2012 Sat, 12 May 2012 Location: The Graham Yallop Oval Pancawati, Ciawi Registration : At your local pub. You'll need a minimum of 6, maximum og 9 Players. Registration Fee: Rp. 5,000,000 Per Team The first 6 Pubs to register get a gurnsey

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 - 10am - 2pm Location: eXion Mall Lobby, Kemang Village

YES WORLD TOUR 2012 LIVE IN JAKARTA

Come along to purchase some excellent quality secondhand baby & toddler equipment, toys, and accessories and save some money too - while at the same time supporting a great cause!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 Celebrating 44 years of YES in one wonderous night. To Buy Ticket visit www.rajakarcis.com Location: The Ritz-Carlton Pacific Place, Jl. Jend. sudirman

Tropies Awards Door Prizes Pub bragging rights up for grabs. Free flow beer, BBQ all day

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Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Food & Drink

READ THE

FRONT PAGE

by Angela Richardson

you live or work around Bundaran HI (by Grand Indonesia shopping mall) the chances are you would have heard of Front Page, where Indian,

Continental and Chindian food comes together. The latter is a mix of Indian and Chinese food, combining Chinese flavours such as Szechuan or Soy with Indian dishes. This eatery and has been a hit since this restaurant opened its doors in 2007. Front Page is a casual dining cum sports bar that opens until late, where clientele is a mix of expatriates, Chinese, Indian and Indonesians. The continental menu boasts Mexican, European and American foods including steaks, grills and sandwiches. The Indian food is authentic as are the chefs, and vegetarian options are abundant. If you're around for lunch, pop in and take advantage of their lunch menu from 11.30 until 2pm on weekdays, and enjoy a meal and a drink for only Rp.59,000++. On Saturday after your lay-in, you can line up for their Brunch Buffet for Rp.90,000++ from 12pm until 3pm and put yourself into a delightful food coma. Now on to the food. We sampled a mix of cuisines including Chicken Quesadillas, Vegetarian Crispy, which is a popular dish of vegetables lightly fried in a spicy Chindian batter, Paneer Tikka with Mint Chutney, Butter Chicken and Szechuan Fried Rice. An interesting mix, yes, but each tasty nonetheless. No Indian meal is complete without bread and theirs (as well as the Kebabs) are cooked in a 500kg Tandoor oven from India ensuring complete authenticity. In the evenings, Front Page is full of local Indians which is a good way of gauging how original the food is. Although it may be time for a lick of paint, the decor of this bar and restaurant is homely and classic. Front pages of magazines and newspapers litter the walls and lamp shades so at least you won't be without something to read! Radio hits are played on the sound system and nights can get a bit boisterous with guests enjoying drinks before heading out to nightclubs in the area. Monday nights are a hit with journalists and it's not uncommon to bump into BBC and Al Jazeera correspondents here. Front Page's drinks menu includes 90 different types of wines and cocktails including one of my favourite pick me ups, not available at every bar, the Espresso

"FRONT PAGE IS A CASUAL DINING CUM SPORTS BAR THAT OPENS UNTIL LATE, WHERE CLIENTELE IS A MIX OF EXPATRIATES, CHINESE, INDIAN AND INDONESIANS."

Martini, which will give you that kick before you make your way to the dance floor. A laid back venue for lunches, casual dinners and drinks with friends makes Front Page a favourite of so many. If you're looking for somewhere to watch your football or rugby game, try it and have a curry with your lager. What could be more laid back than that? ■

FrontPage | Plaza Gani Djemat | Jl. Imam Bonjol Kav.76-78 | Central Jakarta | Phone: (+62) 21 390 3614 Open from 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. on weekdays, and from 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. on weekends.

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

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Original and rare first edition Boss Hoss motorcycle. 1996. V-8 Corvette powered single speed. Water cooled. 260 horsepower. low compression. Full papers. Black. Never dropped. Too fast for most. Kemang. gary.sweitzer@ hotmail.com

For sale/rent units at Kemang Village, St Moritz, Senopati penthouse,Essence dharmawangsa, Senayan city, Bellagio mansion, Bellagio residence, Kuningan city, Pakubuwono residence, Pakubuwono view, Belleza and Condotels investment all over Bali (kuta legian, sunset road, seminyak, petitenget, jimbaran, dreamland, uluwatu) *Please contact Alice-for your trusted agent 0818-0857-7529/0815-7448-5050 email: aliceenny@yahoo.com

Houses for rent at Kemang, Cipete, Cilandak, Pejaten Barat, Pondok Indah. Big garden, S'pool, Complex, with 4/5 Bar. Ph. 0816859551 - 081287488717. email: nantha_realtor@yahoo.com . Sunday open Sub lease office space (254 sqm) including partition at PLAZA MUTIARA BUILDING. Kawasan Mega Kuningan, South Jakarta. Please Call 021-57988623 Mobile:0816-1938580. FOR RENT New, magnificently furnished, 2BR, 98m2 @ Kemang Village. USD 2000/mo. Call owner: 0811883611 An established and running Edu centre in Central Menteng with good prospect,is looking for serious dedicated buyers to take over. If interested, please email: educentreinfo@gmail.com For rent:1/ House at Pinang ranti mansion 3br (+1 studyroom and maidroom service area) All bedroom equipped with fully furnished, 3LCD tvs, 5 airconditioner Living room,dining room,parking 2cars.Pool facility and small gym at the compound. Military environment very safe. 5mins walking to Busway and Tamini square/carrefour.5mins to

JORR freeway to all Jakarta.15mins to TB Simatupang/Citos/pondok indah/Ampera-Kemang. Rent per year usd 12,000 inclusive maintenance fee. 2/ House at East Jakarta.Cipinang muara. Fully furnished luxexclusive,marble flooring,8meter- high ceiling, 4bedrooms,3bathrooms, 1maidroom and service area. 5mins by car from Patria Park hotel,H residence,The Hyves,30mins to airport,10mins to Casablanca. Rent for usd 13,000/year. Contact Alice 0818-0857-7529 aliceenny@ yahoo.com House For Rent. Keb.Baru,$2000-3500,3br.Angela 0811919741,60854285 FOR RENT: Batavia Apartment, very nice furnished, minimalist design, parquet floor, new appliances, 2 BR + 1 study + 2 shower + maid's quarter & toilet. 120 sqm. High floor. City view. Free reserved parking. Located near SCBD and Thamrin. 3-in-1 free. Call 02132220003 or email hosea96@ yahoo.com for details Luxurious rooms for rent in Senayan Area. Jl. Patal Senayan IV no.27. Fully Furnished including 32"LCD TV, Fridge, Kingkoil bed, Internet, TV Cable and ensuite bathroom. Price starting at Rp.3.900.000 per month. For more detail go to www. facebook.com/wismapertenunan, email at jakartacityrentals@gmail. com or contact Ron @0818 770 619

Pak Odang, our driver ( 1½ years) with 7 years experience, is safetyconscious, quick-thinking and understands English. He would prefer work in South Jakarta as a personal or company- based driver from July as we are leaving. Mrs. Roy: 081384285185/ 0217503194 (evenings weekdays / weekends)/ basanti201059@ yahoo.com. Odang: 085311214324/ 085286699699. I am a Canadian conga/percussion player, and I play with a popular Indonesian Band in Jakarta. I would like to put together a hot Dance Band comprised of Bules and Indonesians. If you're an expat musician and would like to play at night as a hobby, please contact me. Thanks, Dono 0813-8647-4577 / donosetiono@ hush.com We are leaving and would very much like to place our maid Yum if we can. She has been wonderful and completely trustworthy she has worked for expats for years. She can cook basic Indonesian food, cleans the house and takes care of the laundry. Yum worked for us 3 times a week (Mo.,Wed. and Fr.), 9am-5pm. She is looking for a work in Kuningan or Menteng She will be available from March 15. on. *please send a sms to: 081218479496

Chintya here. I am looking part time job on weekend (Saturday and Sunday). Currently I already have half day job on every Saturday morning. In Pondok Indah area. I am doing grocery shopping and personal assistant for 2 houses there. I come to the house, they gave me a car that I can drive for shopping. Take the car - shopping - drop the stuff and give them back the car - done. If you need someone to standby/ supervise if your pool man or any maintenance come to check your AC and else, I can also do it. I also understand some about the AC and electrical, since I was working as building management few back ago (PT. Alun). I can do event crew, data base, and else. Contact me at my email nengchin@cleguk. com. Will give you my number in my private email if you interested. For the area, only includes Pondok Indah, Kemang, Sudirman and Kuningan area. Looking for a work as a house maid, speak english, Live out, work monday to friday 0812 9863 5176 Female, Bachelor Degree in Economics / Management, having 12 years experience in Finance / Accounting / Administration in international organization (nonprofit). Seeking for a permanent job / suitable position in fields of Finance / Accounting / Administration and other related areas. Fluency in English and computer skills. Please contact e-mail : seek_work@hotmail.com

PT Koleksi Klasik Indonesia is a versified company, publishing the Jakarta Expat tabloid, printing and delivering of international newspapers and buying and selling of antique maps, books and prints. In order to accelerate our business growth, we invite dynamic and motivated professionals to join our outstanding team as : Accounting and Financial Controller – Jakarta Responsibility : Familiar with all aspects of internal and external accounting Prepare financial statements Reconcile bank accounts Verify bank transactions and post in a database Apply payments against customer and create bills for different transactions Compute taxes owed and prepare tax returns, ensuring compliance with payment, reporting and other tax requirements. Report to management regarding the finances of establishment. Establish tables of accounts, and assign entries to proper accounts Requirements : Candidate must be a Certified Public Accountant or equivalent (Sarjana Akuntasi – S1) Candidate must be able to speak and write Bahasa Indonesia and English. Working experience in the related field is required for this position min. 5 years

Must be an expert in MYOB and Computer literate Good communication and interpersonal skills Able to work with minimal supervision and under pressure A proven track record and a verifiable work history Meticulous Meticulous Meticulous Meticulous Position based in Kemang, Jakarta Indonesia. Please upload a cover letter, explaining why you would be a good candidate for work at CCI and your resume. Only short list candidates will be notified. email: info@jakartaexpat.biz

Jakarta Expat Employment Services Is looking for excellent Sales Representatives for several clients in F & B and Media. Potential high income with task-based compensation, plus sales commissions. Are you a driven sales person? If so, email your CV and cover letter to info@jakartaexpat.biz 5 Star Prestigious Hotel, Located in golden triangle (CBD area) of Kuningan, South Jakarta, looking for partners to open Fine Dining Restaurant or Lounge or Cigar Bar at the Jakarta City with the most breathtaking & panoramic sky view from 36th floor. Looking for well established brands to join

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012

Place a Classified Ad and get results! & Heineken Draught beer to your door, just email to : party_ express@yahoo.com or dial 0818 948 627 and 759 4611

Need flexible courses? Want to study privately at home, office or in a class? We open Bahasa Indonesia class at the American Club. Private classes also available for Bahasa / English/ Mandarin. Qualified teachers & excellent materials 021-68888246/0813-85590009 sibchool@sibschool.com, www.sibschool.com

hands to match with our concept & uniqueness as matched to our modern hotel ambience. Interested Party to post: • Company Proﬁle • Proposal Letter • Picture of existing outlet (if any) • Name and complete contact information Email to: Shielamht88@gmail.com Central Jakarta based training provider is looking for experienced, enthusiastic English teachers to work on a full time or part time basis. Available immediately, the role involves teaching adults in a corporate environment as part of their in-house training. Send your CV to recruitment@kpiconsultancy.com

An ex Jakarta resident runs this service. We are experts based in England who can advise on UK schools/school fees/visa and guardian services. Check out our website: www.queensenglish.info

INTERNATIONAL, DOMESTIC, LOCAL, OFFICE MOVING, STORAGE … Call Francois 085 8838 98678, email: francois@safeway.co.id, or Lanny 081 3166 61874, email: lanny@safewayrelo.com www.safewayrelo.com “RELOCATION MADE EASY” TRAVELING? LET US HELP YOU! As your partner in business, we aspire to provide service standards that are faster, more accurate and more reliable. Contact us now to assist you for all your travel needs. PT. Amazing World Explorer T&T. Kemang Square, 3rd floor unit III12. Jl. Kemang Raya no. 5. Phone: 7179 4722 awe.tours@gmail.com FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC. Professional health-care with experienced practitioners. Careful assessment and individually designed treatment plans. Excellent results with low back and neck pain, shoulder problems, sciatica, disk herniations, headaches and migraine and other musculoskeletal disorders and wellness care. Don’t suffer another day call us today. HOTEL KRISTAL (021) 7507090 We are an English Agency, based in the UK, offering advice on boarding

schools in England. We are experts based in England who can advise you on different schools entry tests, school fees, visa requirements and guardian services. Email susieneil@queensenglish.info Website: www.queensenglish.info LEARN INDONESIAN LANGUAGE FOR EXPATRIATE. PROFESSIONAL TEACHERS COME TO YOUR HOME OR OFFICE. CONTACT: Jl. Albezia VI. Blok B No. 22 Cipinang Kabembem Jakarta Timur 13240. 0219602950 2/08979332879/087885296161/0 85781173576 - PIN BB : 300A2424. Bandung - Jl. Banjarnegara No. 13 Antapani Bandung. (022) 7203042 +6281394624172 - Pekalongan (0285) 9104091 excellentprivat@gmail.com. http:// expatriateindonesia.com/

For over 14 years, Living in Indonesia, A Site for Expatriates has provided expats with “Practical Information” to help smooth the transition to their new life in Indonesia. Choose from 1,200+ articles – all written by expats to address the specific concerns of expats. Living in Indonesia, A Site for Expatriates www.expat.or.id

idGuides EASY ESCAPE JAKARTA Reconnect with the outdoors on an idGuides Half / Full Day Walk, Trek or Trail Run, 1hr 20min drive ex-Jakarta. No need to be active come to lounge, lunch and recharge at Acacia Camp. Proceeds support the idGuides Foundation and our Sentul community projects. www.idguides.org

Have the Coolest Party With BINTANG PARTY EXPRESSWe deliver and serve Bintang

We urgently require a Full-Time or Part-Time English Teacher for our language school. The applicants must have the following qualifications: • Min S1 (Preferably in English) • Excellent English skills • Having 2 years teaching experience • Local Indonesian living in Jakarta Send CV & Photo to hrd@sibschool.com

Medical evacuation health & life insurance. Let us diagnose your needs. Contact Paul Beale, mobile: +62 816 137 0663, office: 021-5220990 E: paulbeale@gms-financial.com

Relax we carry the load. Your peace of mind is our highest priority. One company Allied to Allied, over 800 locations worldwide. Your specialist in household goods moving services. Jakarta (021) 780 7851, Surabaya (031) 749 8377, Email: info@alliedpickfords.co.id Website: www.alliedpickfords.com

Does Your Child Play Soccer? Give your child the chance to become the best soccer player on the team!Try the SuperSkills guaranteed way of creating skillful soccer players. We teach the secrets to expert dribbling & complete mastery of the ball. All of our coaches are former professional players and certified in the SuperSkills methodology. Currently SuperSkills is available 5 days per week after school on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays at 9 various locations in Jakarta – South, North, & Central Jakarta all have centers including Pondok Indah, CiToS, ISCI, Kelapa Gading, and Ancol. We're somewhere near you! Contact us now and set up a Free Trial for your child & guaranteed to improve every player during every session (even at the Free Trial). There is no risk, we love what we do & it’s fun and healthy. Contact us now & Try for Free! SMS or Phone: Contact us today at +62 - 815 1160 7218. SuperSkills@SuperSkillsSoccer.com www.SuperSkillsSoccer.com LOOKING FOR : DO YOU HAVE TOO MUCH UNUSED STUFF? DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO YOUR ORIGINATING COUNTRY AND WANT SOMEBODY TO BUY YOUR STUFFS? WE BUY USED GOODS like

furniture,electronic,clothing,sport equipment,household,bag,shoes, etc. CONTACT: 082123232589 (CHRISTI)

EILUX WATCH WINDERS. Most innovated technology mimicking human wrist action to keep your automotaic watches fully wound with no possibility of overwinding. Innovated technology you can trust. Satisfaction and Lowest Price Guaranteed. Visit us at: SENAYAN TRADE CENTER (STC) G-121, Jl. Asia Afrika, Jakarta or call 021.70078262/ 0811106776

Visit our wine boutique at Jl. Kemang Raya 45B. Open daily 10am - 2am. Wine price list inquiry, Wine delivery, reservation and private function please call 02171792577, nurul@vinplus.biz, punny@vinplus.biz"

I want to trade used postage stamps. I have many stamps from various countries.Please SMS 081 7472 8036 or 0821 4361 5555.Denpasar Bali.

Italian Institute of Culture Jakarta Jl. HOS Cokroaminoto, 117 Menteng - LANGUAGE COURSES - COOKING CLASSES - FILMS SCREENING (English subtitles) (Every Wednesday [7 pm] and Saturday [4 pm]) For further information please contact: (021) 3927531 / 3141647 – email: iicjakarta@esteri.it Dining tables, chairs and stools. Kitchen planning tools, clothes and shoes storage, glassware, king size bed, dish washing machine, Lambrella scooter made by 1967. Please SMS or email me. My phone number is 0858 1127 4488.

ABC Acai Berry Soft Gel (Double Effects) is a 100% natural product, which helps on fast fat reducing and also beautifying your skin. ABC Acai Berry Soft Gel with its Unique formula on Pure Acai Berry and many other carefully selected Chinese herbs will benefit you like never before. 1 bottle containing 30 capsules for Rp. 250.000 to be delivered for free in Jakarta. Info: 081317722271

Jazz / Popular / Classic Piano /Keyboard Course with modern method, a study can be at your home. Interested? Please call : Iwan SM -(021) 96198431 - 0812-98634475 ARE YOU A FAT EXPAT? Get from FAT2FIT; I’m a British expat with a WELLNESS CENTRE. Let me give

you a FREE WELLNESS EVALUATION (Fat Check, Personal Consultation & Samples). Come to us/we will visit your WORK/HOME. Call Daniel/Shinta 087889043818 or add BB 255BB3F2 Elegant furniture for sale. Branded furniture and Decorative lamps to go at cheap price. Still in very good condition. Interested please call 0812 8075 0822. An Indonesian needs a partner to improve English and I will help you to improve your Bahasa Indonesia. Contact: salsabila2510@yahoo. com 085655576099

These two super friendly female dogs need a new home to guard. They love to be around people and will let you sleep soundly at night. "Broni" is a 7 year old American pitbull terrier, and "Underdog" is her daughter and pet. dunderduck@ gmail.com Shirley Temple—publicity photos of 1940. Also old Dutch/Java and other photos/prints; and the Graphic Work of Indonesia’s most famous painter, Affandi. Dharma Mulia Galleries, Jl. Ciputat Raya 50 Ciputat, Tangerang, (South Jakarta) Email: dmulia@cbn.net.id 0811824302

For sale: USA-bred maltese pups,full vaccinated, pottytrained,100% adorable jackco DOB 23/5/11 Mickey DOB 22/11/11 cont:0812 8111 2848 email: lannysoen@gmail.com For Sale : wooden dining room set oval table, 8 chairs, side board $750.00 Yamaha piano $1100,00 contact : 081370609851 - photo's on request.

for sale big round chair rattan for Rp. 3,3 million, call 08111881214

Jakarta Memory Game by Werkgroep ‘72. Charity Organization.Price IDR 100.000. 40 colourful pictures of Jakarta. For Sale: JICC, Le Souq [Jl. Kemang Raya no.7] or contact www.werkgroep72.org

Jakarta Expat · 11 April - 24 April 2012