231. Oneg Vayeshev

Issue

231

‫בס"ד‬

‫הריני בא ללמוד תורה לשמה לעשות נחת רוח לאבינו שבשמים‬ ‫מוצאי שבת ר"ת‬

‫מוצאי שבת‬

‫פרשת וישב‬

‫כ"ג כסלו תש"פ‬ 21 Dec 2019

‫קבלת שבת‬

JLM

MAN

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JLM

BMTH

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MAN

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JLM

BMTH

GLSCW

GHD

MAN

LON

5.58

5.03

5.05

5.19

5.02

4.53

4.46

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4.02

3.48

3.28

3.24

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fraternity of the tribes, made Yosef retreat.

Yosef was about to do the unthinkable. A young man, estranged from his family and in a foreign land, he was as far as possible from the sensitivities and sanctity of his father’s home.

What then made him think of Yaakov as this low point? Surely his religious heritage was the farthest thought from his mind?

Mirror, mirror on the wall who’s the most righteous of them all?

Rashi’s comments here are based on a Gemoro in Sotah 36b. The Gemoro has an additional detail which helps us understand the situation more fully. The Gemoro says, “at that moment his father’s image came and appeared to him in the window.” Yosef didn’t merely conjure up an image of his father in his mind’s eye. As the Gemoro tells us, he saw an actual image in the window. Unlike walls, windows are reflective.

Looking back at Yosef in the window’s reflection was his father Yaakov. This sounds like a magic mirror. But, perhaps, there is something all the more simpler going on here.

At the very beginning of the parsha we are told that Yaakov loved Yosef more than any of his other children. Rashi offers three reasons why. The third is that Yosef looked like Yaakov.

Yaakov saw himself in Yosef. And Yosef cared much about keeping up these looks. We are told that Yosef was a well-groomed youth who took great interest in his appearance (see Rashi 37:2). Now living as a slave, Yosef’s self-preening would have likely become a thing of the past.

Moreover, the trauma of being sold as a slave by his brothers and the journey across the desert to Egypt would have likely added a few years onto Yosef. By the time Yosef winds up in Potiphar’s house he is no longer a fresh-faced teenager. He’s matures into a man, and one who has endured some of life’s hardships. In other words, Yosef

Yosef HaTzaddik wasn’t born with this distinguished appellation. He earned it in a moment of astounding spiritual strength.

Alone with Potiphar’s wife, who had made her affection of Yosef well known to him, Yosef was on the brink of sinning. At the last moment he found the inner resolve to resist and fled the danger. Rashi famously tells us that what saved him was the conjuring up of the image of his father. Seeing his saintly father Yaakov, and the ensuing thought of being banished from the holy

‫ספר דברים‬

‫ספר במדבר‬

‫לע"נ ר' יקותיאל זלמן נאה ז''ל‬ ‫בן ר' חנניה יו''ט ליפא הי''ד‬ ‫נלב''ע ט''ז אדר תשע''ז‬

‫לע"נ מרת טויבא רחל נאה ע''ה‬ ‫בת ר' שמואל שמעלקא הי''ד‬ ‫נלב''ע כ''ה מנחם אב תשע''ז‬

‫ספר ויקרא‬

Rabbi Shmuli Sagal Rabbi, Shomrei Hadath Synagogue; Director of Operations, Evening Beis

now looked even more like the Yaakov he knew.

Smooth, reflective windows were not common in ancient Egypt, if existent at all.

Mirrors, on the other hand, did exist, though were rare. The few that were to be found would have belonged to wealthy women. One such women would have been Potiphar’s wife. There in her private bedroom, Yosef would have caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Having not seen himself in a while, Yosef would have seen a face that he thought was his fathers. This startling image shook Yosef to his core, freeing him from temptation.

In seeing himself in the mirror, Yosef saw the image of his father. That one look in the mirror saved Yosef’s life and legacy. Indeed, by ‘taking a good look in the mirror’, Yosef saw beyond his immediate situation and was transported to the world of his revered father.

There is a halacha to cover the mirrors in a beis avel, a house of mourning. Perhaps the reason is because the one’s sitting shiva are by definition close relatives of the deceased and quite likely to share a physical resemblance with them. In order that the mourners shouldn’t see themselves in the mirror and be painfully reminded of their recently deceased relative, like Yosef was reminded of Yaakov when seeing himself in the mirror, we cover the mirrors.

What for Yosef was a catalyst for reawakening shouldn’t become a source of even more grief for those whose relatives are no longer there to actively inspire them. M

‫ספר שמות‬

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Oneg Shabbos Issue 231.

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Rising to the Challenge ‫אמרי בנימין‬

‫ מחשבה וסיפורים מאוצרו של‬,‫דברי תורה‬ ‫הגאון רבי בנימין קמנצקי זצ“ל‬

Rabbi Binyamin Kamenetzky Z’L

T

his week’s Parsha contains the sad saga of Yoseph, Yaakov Avinu’s favourite son, and his ill-fated trek to check on his brothers in Dosan.

They throw him into a pit, and sell him to a caravan of merchants who in turn, sell him to Egypt. The Hand of Hashem is playing the perfectly orchestrated events, as Yoseph lands as a slave to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh. He is accused of wrongdoing by Potiphar’s wife, and is thrown into jail where he earns a reputation as a dream interpreter. This ability, which he attributes completely to Hashem, is his ultimate ticket to freedom, power, and fame as he ultimately is propelled to be second in command of the world’s most powerful country.

Let us discuss another incident for a moment. When all of the Nesi’im leaders of the shevatim, brought their inaugural sacrifices for the Mishkan, the leaders of shevet Menashe and Efrayim - the two shevatim descendants of Yoseph, brought their sacrifices on the seventh and eighth days. The Medrash in Parshas Naso explains, that those days For questions on Divrei Torah, please email the editor Rabbi Yonasan Roodyn at editor@oneg.org.uk

correspond to the seventh and eight commandment which were given over a century later at Mount Sinai, “Do not commit adultery,” and “Do not steal.” Since Yoseph withstood the temptation for these two specific sins, stealing and adultery, his children merited to have these days “reserved” for their sacrifices.

The question is simple. We know the story how Yoseph withstood the temptation of sin with the wife of Potiphar. However, where do we find that Yoseph guarded himself from thievery?

Why are the descendants of Yoseph are rewarded with the symbolic “eighth day” of the Tabernacles inauguration, in the merit of Yosef keeping to the prohibition against stealing? Where in the Torah do we find an incident of stealing, for which Yoseph proved his righteousness?

My grandfather, Rav Binyamin zt”l explained based upon a Gemara in Baba Metziah 24a. It tells us a story of a silver goblet that was stolen from a home in which Mar Zutra Chasida had once stayed overnight. In the quest for the thief, Mar Zutra Chasida noticed a certain student drying his hands on his fellow student’s garment, and accused him of stealing the goblet. When approached, the student admitted stealing the silver cup. Mar Zutra Chasida explained that when he saw how this student was not careful with other people’s property, and therefore, he knew that he must be the perpetrator.

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Rav Kamenetzky zt”l explains that this concept is true in a positive light as well. One who takes responsibility for others is surely responsible not to cause a loss to others.

Yoseph was the one who took responsibility for his father’s sheep. Even more, he went on a dangerous mission for his father to check on his brothers.

He cared about the welfare of his brothers when they came down to Egypt. He understood that the turn of events that led him into his position was carefully planned by Hashem Himself, for the purpose of providing sustenance to his family. He then crafted the plan to feed an entire nation in the years of famine. He rose to the challenge, and was the one to provide the needs of the entire population.

Our sages understood that a man who undertook these responsibilities and prevailed, must have also been meticulous about other people’s property. In order to carry the responsibility of a nation, you must start with the responsibility to your friend.

The Medrash tells us that Yoseph’s growth to reach the pinnacle of leadership and accountability began with his consideration for others, and his stringency in the prohibition of stealing.

Rav Binyamin Kamenetzky zt”l would always impart this lesson to his talmidim. Yes, the entire Jewish nation is important. Yes, it is important to do great things. But start from the beginning.

Be sensitive to your friends and their belongings, and grow from there. M Transcribed by his grandson, Rabbi Shmuel Kamenetzky.

Director of Development at ‫בית בנמין‬- ‫ ישיבה תורת חיים‬Yeshiva of South Shore . He is currently compiling the vast storehouse of all the Torah thoughts from his grandfather. If you have any stories to share from his grandfather, you can email him at skamenetzky@yoss.org

To suggest an idea or a response to the ideas exchange please email ideas@oneg.org.uk

21 Dec 2019

‫כ"ג כסלו תש"פ‬

‫פרשת וישב‬

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Inspired Dreams & Prophetic Insights The parshiyos of Vayeshev and Mikeitz feature a pattern of events in which Hashem manipulates Yosef’s destiny by means of mysterious dreams. Initially it was Yosef himself who was presented with two dreams which indicated his future rise to authority over his brothers and even his father. Then, in Egypt, Pharaoh’s servants and eventually Pharaoh himself were troubled by dreams which only Yosef could interpret. What exactly is the nature of these dreams, and how are they to be distinguished from standard prophecy?

It appears from the meforshim that there are three distinct categories of dreams. First there are regular ‘frivolous’ dreams, which are a synthesis of the mind’s images and ideas drawn from the dreamer’s previous conscious states. Then there are chalomos tzodkos, meaningful dreams such as those which were divinely inspired in Yosef’s story. Finally, there are dreams that contain prophecy and which are treated as an entirely different order of experience.

The Or Hachaim explains that a ‘meaningful dream’, which is indicated in the Torah by use of the word “vehineh”, consists of an extremely vivid and lucid dream-experience. In addition, it must be unambiguously clear to the dreamer that there exists a deeper, hidden meaning which he will instantly recognise as correct the moment it is presented to him. This mechanism of instant recognition is seen in the responses of Pharaoh and his servants to Yosef’s proposed interpretations, and even more dramatically in Sefer Daniel by Nebuchadnezzar’s reaction when Daniel first related the content of the dream to him and then proceeded to interpret it. In both of these cases the dreamer, profoundly disturbed by his experience, enthusiastically embraces the correct resolution as soon as it is offered.

The distinction between frivolous and meaningful dreams is highlighted in a fascinating explanation by the Netziv of the behaviour of Yosef’s brothers in response to his dreams. The brothers initially respond with hatred to what they assume to be ‘frivolous’ dreams. Reflections of the delusions of grandeur which they believed Yosef to have been harbouring during his waking hours. However, their father Ya’akov takes the dreams seriously: an indication that they are divinely inspired. At this point the brothers’ hatred (“vayisne’u”) gives way to jealousy (“vayekanu”) as they are forced to concede Yosef’s superiority but nonetheless struggle to come to terms with it.

A greater challenge is posed by the need to understand the differences between divinely-inspired dreams and genuine prophecy. In an extensive analysis which spans a full eleven chapters of Moreh Nevuchim, Rambam explains the nature of divine inspiration and revelation, focusing on the differing aspects of the mind and soul. He makes a crucial distinction between the ‘dimyon’ (imagination) and the ‘sechel’ (intellect): the imagination is part of the ‘lower neshamah’ which governs a person’s interactions with the physical world, while the intellect is the ‘tzelem Elokim’ — the G-dly component through which human comprehension can transcend the physical world.

The special dreams which feature throughout Yosef’s elevation to power are divinely-inspired experiences, emerging primarily from the imagination rather than from the pure intellect. Not only does divine inspiration provide and influence the details of such an experience; it also creates a feeling of certainty that the dream is ‘true’ and requires an explanation.

Prophecy, by contrast, is experienced primarily by the intellect, providing a profound insight into Hashem’s truths

Rabbi Shmuel Phillips Author, “Judaism Reclaimed”

and how they relate to His running of the world. Since Hashem has no physicality, nothing experienced (or imagined to have been experienced) through the medium of any of the five physical senses can constitute a genuine ‘G-dly experience’.

Rambam describes instead how a person who has developed his intellect and character becomes a receptacle into which Hashem‘s ‘shefa Eloki’ can be directed.

By receiving this shefa, the prophet transcends the limitations of the human intellect and gains G-dly knowledge.

In most prophecies recorded in Tanach, this knowledge relates to Hashem’s attitude towards specific events and religious or political aspects of the world, and the prophet becomes aware of a correct course of action. Absorption of this G-dly knowledge can also allow the prophet knowledge of the future, since Hashem’s knowledge is not bound by time. Even where the imagination is engaged in a prophecy through the receipt of prophetic visions, this is merely to assist the prophet’s understanding of the truth or message. Thus the explanation of the vision – the divine message being communicated – is always the primary component of the prophecy. M Adapted from Judaism Reclaimed: Philosophy and Theology in the Torah. The chapter proceeds to analyse further Rambam’s understanding of prophecy, with a specific focus on the unique nature of Moshe’s prophecy and the ways in which Rambam’s understanding of prophecy signals a significant departure from Aristotle’s worldview.

Book available on Amazon & in local Jewish book stores. www.judaismreclaimed.com

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Oneg Shabbos Issue 231.

‫ ַו ַּיֽחֲלֹ֤ם יֹוסֵ ף ֙ חֲל֔ ֹום ַו ַּי ֵּג ֖ד לְ אֶ חָ ֑יו‬ ‫ַּיֹוס֥פּו ע֖ ֹוד ְׂש ֥נ ֹא א ֹֽתֹו‬ ִ ‫ו‬

This page is sponsored ‫לע''נ ביילא בת ר׳ משה ע''ה‬

And Yosef dreamed a dream and told his brothers, and they continued to hate him Rabbi Mordechai Appel Shomrei Shabbos Chevra Mishnayos & ‫דרכים בפרשה‬

L

ooking at the dreams of Yosef HaTzaadik, we note two different reactions from the brothers. The first dream featured the sheaves of the brothers bowing down to the sheaf of Yosef. Upon hearing this, the brothers hated Yosef for his dream. In the next dream, the sun, the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to Yosef. This time however, the reaction was not hatred but rather envy.

The Alter of Slabodka explains that in the first dream, the sheaves represent gashmiyus/materialistic pursuits. Yosef was telling them that he would be wealthier and more superior to them. Such a message is tough to accept, especially when there is a sense that the one delivering the message is projecting themselves, and only doing so for their own personal selfaggrandisement. The end result was a feeling of hatred towards him. In the second dream, the sun, moon, and stars represent the heavenly spheres. This was a dream of ruchniyus /spiritual pursuits. Yosef was telling them that he would be more superior to them in spiritual matters. This caused envy because the brothers wanted the same for themselves as well.

When we see another person with more money than us, it may bother us, but it shouldn’t. On the other hand, if that person is greater than us in Torah and mitzvos, this should arouse a feeling of envy causing us to want the same for ourselves.

It is a well-known principle that all middos have a good and a bad to it (e.g. ‫עז פנים‬ vs. ‫)עז כנמר‬. In this parsha, the Torah is giving us an insight into the middah of kinna. Let us endeavour to understand both sides of this potent character trait.

On the one hand, we find in Bava Basra 21a that ‫קנאת סופרים‬ ‫תרבה חכמה‬- jealousy amongst talmidei chachamim increases wisdom, i.e. jealousy is a good thing. Yet, we also find a possuk in Mishlei (14:30) that tells us ‫ורקב עצמות קנאה‬- jealousy rots the bones, i.e. it eats away at the best parts of a person, leaving him with nothing. On the one hand, kinna is such a motivator, that it inspires one to reach levels of greatness that may have been otherwise unattainable. Yet, we have Shlomo HaMelech warning us in Mishlei to stay far away from kinna with a ten foot pole.

Rav Yeruchem Levovitz (Daas Torah) explains how to tell the healthy kinna, from the dangerous one. Let us take an every-day example that can be found in most “healthy” homes. The mother tells her fourteen year old son that he can attend his first cousin’s bris the next morning and will go to yeshiva a little bit later.

Moments later, the twelve ear old son shows up, and upon hearing of his brother’s good fortune, requests the same. The mother refuses his requests, causing an all-out temper tantrum. She turns to her husband that is just walking in and asks him to resolve it.

Lacking the patience, he responds that no one is going. At this point, the younger brother should respond “okay, fine, if I can’t

go either way, at least let him go”. But, typically, this is not the case. ‫גם לי גם לך לא יהיה‬- if I can’t have it, none of us can have it!

Rav Yeruchem explains that there are two different roots where jealousy can come from. The first example is a situation where I can see my friend having something and I may tell myself that I would like the same. Perhaps I was unaware that this was even available or attainable. I am happy for him that he has it, and now I want to be on that level as well. This is what the gemara refers to when it talks about ‫קנאת סופרים תרבה חכמה‬jealousy being a good thing.

But what happens when we are not happy that the other person has it? What happens if we would like the same, but would be just as happy if neither of us had it? This jealousy is not shaped by a desire for that particular item, and it is also non-motivational. The reason for this jealousy is because he is aggravated by the perceived inferiority that comes with not having what yenem has. The solution is that I have the same, or neither of us have it. To this unhealthy kinna, Shlomo HaMelech told us ‫ורקב עצמות קנאה‬- jealousy rots the bones.

The English language actually has two distinct words that clearly denote the difference: envy and jealousy. Envy occurs when we lack a desired attribute enjoyed by another. We see it and we want it for ourselves as well. Jealousy is a feeling of resentment to what the other person has, whether we want it or not. Although similar, the outcome may be very different. It is such a slight difference, yet it can be the difference between a good middah and a bad middah.

May we be zoche to use the middah of kinna in the proper fashion, always motivating ourselves to achieve ever higher goals. But at the same time, we should always be cognisant of overstepping the boundary. M

Prayer is for everyone.

You do not need to know Hebrew.

You do not need a Siddur. All you need to do is to open your mouth, and talk to Hashem. He understands all languages. A person could have many blessings in Heaven waiting to come down, and all he needs to do to access them is to open his mouth and ask. @Toraharoundtheclock

21 Dec 2019

‫כ"ג כסלו תש"פ‬

‫פרשת וישב‬

5

Judge for yourself Is it your golden ticket to Gan Eden?

Leonard Ormonde

I

saw a most beautiful thought from Harav Yisroel Reisman which not only explains a very hard Rashi from Parshas Vayeishev but also sheds light on mitzvos bein adam lechavero and finally if you remember the message, it could be our Golden Ticket to Gan Eden!

One of the greatest fears on Yom Kippur is with regard to mitzvos bein adam lechavero, because while teshuva helps for mitzvos bein adam lamakom for mitzvos bein adam lachavero one needs mechila, which is not always so easy to get, especially from difficult people who you may have offended.

People who might appear difficult can sometimes be prone to it, and it can make it very hard to get a proper mechila.

If, chalila, there’s such a case where one fell short on bein adam lachavero and there is no mechila coming from the other side, or you just don’t remember who it is, what are you supposed to do in such circumstances?

We find in in Shmuel Beis Perek 12:17, that Nosson Hanavi came to Dovid pretending to ask a question based on a parable. Look at Passuk 1-6, where Dovid paskens on that person in the parable (‫מָ וֶת‬ ‫)הָ אִ יׁש הָ ע ֶֹׂשה ז ֹאת‬, that the person in the parable deserves death. Then Nosson Hanavi turns to Dovid and says “‫”אתה האיש‬ , it’s a parable for what you did. You are paskening on yourself that you’re deserving of death.

It’s brought in the name of the Bal Shem Tov that the same thing will happen to us in Shamayim after 120 years. Just before one goes to the great day of din, there are certain things people do where the punishment is clear, it might be malkus or G-d forbid kareis.

There are however certain aveiros where the punishment may not be so clear cut.

You might have offended somebody, maybe you double parked and blocked someone in and ran in to a shop, and when you come out he’s angry and you say “big deal it only took a minute”, it was just a minute. How terrible is the act you did?

Says the Bal Shem Tov, when we come to heaven they’ll fool us. They’ll say give us a few minutes we need a judge in the Bes Din Shel Maalah. You’ll go and they’ll show you someone else who double parked and blocked someone in and that person got upset. You’ll be the judge in that case and you’ll say how stringent the punishment should be and when you have given your verdict they’ll say “‫”אתה האיש‬it’s you.

It’s a beautiful Bal Shem Tov but once you have heard it, why does it help? Now you already know the trick, after 120 years you’ll come up to Heaven and they are going to say to you before you go to your Din, please come over here as we need a judge in the Bes Din Shel Maalah. You’ll smirk to yourself and say, I remember reading this in the Oneg and I know the trick, and when you go in you’ll be a very lenient judge. How does this trick work if you know about it beforehand?

Says Rabbi Reisman that he saw in the Koheles Yitzchok on Parshas Vayeishev that it does not necessarily mean that in Heaven they are going to call you into a court room but rather in Olam Hazeh Hashem will make it that way after you did whatever it may have been and you’ll find yourself in exactly the same situation but this time you’ll be the victim. Someone will block you in by double parking on the main road, how angry will you get? You’ll get upset at that person and tell him it’s terrible? “‫ ”אתה האיש‬you are the man, your judging on yourself in Olam Hazeh. You will pasken on yourself!

You embarrass someone, how terrible is it? Years later someone will embarrass you, what will you say? You might say we live in a generation of frazzled nerves, the person who did it probably had a very difficult day.

You’ll be understanding of him. If so”‫אתה‬ ‫”האיש‬when they judge you for offending someone, in Shamayim they will say he had a hard day he had frazzled nerves that day, he had a difficult time and was under stress. But if you say there’s no excuse, Hamiva’yeish pnei chaveiro ein lo cheilek l’olam habo, G-d forbid they’ll say ‫ אתה האיש‬you’re Paskening on yourself.

So therefore, we come out with an extraordinary eitza, it’s an eitza maybe you did offend someone and not ask for mechila.

You’ll have an opportunity someone will do something to you today, tomorrow, or the next day. How will you react? If you’re understanding and given them the benefit of the doubt and be understanding, then in heaven ‫ אתה האיש‬they’ll be understanding of you. G-d forbid if not.

The above idea will help us with an extraordinary peshat in the Koheles Yitzchok. There’s a Rashi that’s not to be understood from this week that is found in 37:18 (‫) ַוּי ְִתנַּכְ לּו א ֹתֹו לַהֲ ִמיתֹו‬. The brothers plan to kill Yosef. Rashi says (,‫כמו אתו‬ ‫ כלומר אליו‬,‫)עמו‬. It’s not a Rashi that’s understandable. You can see the five words! (‫ כלומר אליו‬,‫ עמו‬,‫ )כמו אתו‬but what could they mean?

He says that the brothers did to Yosef what Nosson Hanavi did to Dovid. When Yosef arrived, they sat down with him, they said we’re in middle of a Din Torah, please can you join our Beis Din. They talked to him about someone who tried to steal kingship from others and who tried to take for himself the crown of his father, they asked Yosef to pasken. Yosef was strict in his psak and they said “‫ ”אתה האיש‬and (‫ ) ַוּי ְִתנַּכְ לּו א ֹתֹו לַהֲ ִמיתו‬the word ‫ אותו‬is extra.

It should be (‫ ) ַוּי ְִתנַּכְ לּו‬they planned (‫)לַהֲ ִמיתֹו‬ to kill him. Says Rashi, (‫ ) ַוּי ְִתנַּכְ לּו א ֹתֹו‬its ito, it means they planned together with him, imo (with him). (‫ )כלומר אליו‬As if they were saying it against him. In other words they gave a psak k’ilu someone else, and they really meant “‫”אותו האיש‬. What a lesson! M

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Oneg Shabbos Issue 231.

Yes, Your Majesty!

Rabbi Avrohom Tabor Yeshivas ImreiBina, Author of “100 Amos High”

How extreme is the Torah perspective on bein adam lechaveiro!

“Your friend’s honour should be as precious to you as your own.”

(Avos) One’s own personal success or comfort cannot come at the expense of others – even if they are unjustified in the way they are treating you. This is the fulfilment of the tremendous order of Chazal, ‫ – המלכת חבריך עליך בנחת רוח‬did you make your fellow a king over yourself? Did you honour him and accord him the respect due to a king? Every person is made in the image of Hashem and deserves royal treatment.

This idea is beautifully illustrated in the following story:

C

hazal tell us that Yosef finally was prepared to consent to the incessant temptations of Potiphar’s wife. He had already removed his cloak but then managed to stir up all his strength and ran away. She took his cloak that he left behind and used it as incriminating evidence against him, which resulted in Yosef wallowing for ten difficult years in the depravity of the Egyptian prison.

One can only wonder why Yosef ran away without taking his cloak. He was surely much bigger and stronger than her and could easily have snatched it back, thereby saving himself from years of pain and suffering. The Ramban suggests a remarkable explanation for his behaviour. Yosef was a servant and she was his mistress. It would have been disrespectful to her superiority for him to grab something away from her. Out of respect and honour for her, he preferred to suffer any potential consequences rather than act discourteously towards her.

Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer zt’’l was sitting at home and one of his students announced that he saw out of the window the Brisker Rav zt’’l approaching. Rav Meltzer jumped up and ran to don his Shabbos frock in honour of such an illustrious guest. He rushed out of the house to greet the Rav, only to realize that the student had made a mistake and the person was not the Brisker Rav, but rather some unknown yid. Nevertheless, Rav Meltzer accorded him the greatest honour. He ushered him into the house, seated him at the head of the table, and humbly asked him, ‘What can I honour my illustrious guest with to eat? Will you wash your hands for a meal?”

The man sat stunned, “chas veshalom that the Rav would work for me!” he managed to stammer in shock. “I have to collect money for my daughter’s wedding and wanted to ask the Rav to write an approbation for me.”

Immediately, Rav Meltzer sat down with pen and paper and wrote a warm and powerful letter on his behalf, gave it to him and escorted the man out down all the steps of his house to the road.

On his return, he offered the following explanation of his treatment to the man: “The mitzvah of hosting guests is very great and the mitzvah to honour a Jew is extremely precious and special. So much so, that we should really treat every Jew like a son of the king, irrelevant of who he is, irrelevant of if he’s a big scholar or a simple person, just like Avraham Avinu treated his guests even though he thought they were Arabs. Why do we not do so? Because, of our many sins, the mitzvos have been cheapened in our eyes and we have come to differentiate between Jews. Now, Hashem arranged it that I had prepared to meet the giant of the generation and to treat him royally. Once I realized that it was not him, should that be a reason to retract from my intention to perform the mitzvah to the maximum? Should I downsize the mitzvah and perform it coldly just because the guest seems to be a simple man? And furthermore, who said he is a simple man – do we know how to evaluate how great a Jew really is?” M

Rabbi Avrohom Tabor, Yeshivas Imrei Bina, Author of “100 Amos High”. To obtain the sefer “100 Amos High” or the series of shiurim based on the sefer please email to taboravrohom@gmail.com

‫כ"ג כסלו תש"פ‬

21 Dec 2019

‫פרשת וישב‬

Teenagers

7

Rebetzin Feigy Lieberman

R

aising teens is probably the most daunting task a contemporary parent faces. Don’t worry. As a mother and teacher of teenagers, past and present, I can assure you

that you are not alone in facing this challenge.

What makes a teenager tick? Where is your teenager coming from? He or she is no longer a child but also not yet a mature adult. Perhaps adolescence can be best described using the Yiddish expression, nisht a hein und nisht a hare, “neither here nor there”.

In truth, most teenagers are not intentionally trying to be difficult, rebellious, or coming to make their parents’ life a misery. Their behaviour is a result of the identity-crisis that they are experiencing. Who am I? Where do I belong? And what am I becoming? In the struggle to create an “identity”, they want to understand themselves and to be understood by others – friends and parents alike.

Parental approval might appear to take a back-step now that peer pressure is hugely influential. But don’t be fooled. It means the world to teenagers when their parents make every effort to “understand” their way of thinking and to validate it. What does your child see when they look in your eyes? Warmth, pride and pleasure? Or vibes of disappointment or anger?

Teenagers are supersensitive to how their parents see them.

Their sense of worth diminishes if they sense that their parents do not rate them highly. So, the most important thing is to love your teenager unconditionally. Not to love them for their looks, talents, social nature, or academic excellence – but to love them for who they are. You accept and celebrate each teenager’s individuality and personality.

Teenagers must know that you see them as the most precious gift that Hashem gave you. You are always there for them – to support their efforts to discover “who they are”. You are always there for them – to help them develop the best that they can be. And you promise to always be there for them in the future – in whatever capacity they need. Your constant love and approval will let your teenager face life with inner strength and confidence.

They will come to believe in themselves if they know that their parents believe in them.

This belief and validation provides a strong healthy foundation upon which to build their identity, characteristics, and personality. They will feel comfortable in their own skin and translate that into their ability to integrate positively with others.

It pushes them upwards along the escalator of life without the fear of failing or being knocked off track if later forced to face challenges in life because he is firmly grounded.

Don’t walk around with a red pen assessing your child for who they are, what you wanted them to be, with the inevitable feeling of disappointment. Rather, enjoy each moment and appreciate the person your teenager is.

Teenagers have much to learn from their parents. But their parents have much to learn from them too. Acceptance and love will foster teenagers into making the challenging transition into mature and responsible adults who bring their own personalities to benefit society. M

Talking to the President RABBI PAYSACH KROHN All the little girls gathered around the desk of their third grade teacher, Mrs. Genendel Krohn of Waterbury, Connecticut. It was a few days into the school year when Mrs. Krohn called all her students to come close as she pulled out her cell phone from her purse and put it on speakerphone.

The children were surprised. No teacher ever opens their cell phone in middle of class. “We’re going to make a call,” she told them and then dialled the White House.

A pleasant operator answered their call. Mrs. Krohn began, “I’m calling from the Yeshiva Ketana of Waterbury. We have thirty students here. We’d like to speak to the president, please.”

The operator was surprised, “I’m sorry, you can’t just speak to the president – he’s a very busy man.”

Mrs. Krohn persisted, “Well, you should see our class. We’re all citizens of the United States and we think it’s appropriate. We would like to speak to our president.”

Apologetically the operator smiled, “The president is just too busy. He can’t speak to you. If you’d like, though, you could write him a letter.”

The teacher with her students huddled around her cell phone asked, “Do you think the president will read the letter?”

The operator admitted, “Well, to tell you the truth, I’m not really sure. He gets ten thousand letters a day and the White House gives him ten to read.”

Mrs. Krohn stated, “That means that we as citizens of the United States can’t speak to the president and even if we write him a letter, he probably will not read it.”

“I guess you’re right,” the operator answered.

Mrs. Krohn thanked the operator for her time and told her students to sit down.

Then she told them the mindboggling revelation, “I want to tell you something. In the United States, there are 320 million people, but the president is too busy to talk to us. I want to tell you about Somebody who is even busier than the president, who is concerned about billions of people around the world, but anytime you want to talk to Him, you can talk to Him.” Astounded, the girls looked at their teacher as she continued, “You open up your siddur and He is right there for you – Hashem always has time to listen to you!” M

8

Oneg Shabbos Issue 231.

Restoring Restoring the primacy the primacy of Choshen of Choshen MishpatMishpat Under Under the auspices the auspices of Harav of Harav Chaim Chaim KohnKohn ‫שליט"א‬ ‫שליט"א‬

Rabbi Meir Orlian Halachah Writer, BHI

UNORDERED KIDDUSH Moshe was the gabbai of his shul. The shul had a kiddush every Shabbos Mevorchim, in addition to those sponsored by members for special occasions such as simchos or yahrtzeits.

The shul had a standard arrangement with the local caterer.

Moshe would simply call and notify them, “Please deliver a regular kiddush this week.” The caterer, who had keys to the shul, would deliver the food on Friday afternoon and arrange it in the shul’s fridge and warming oven.

One Friday afternoon, Moshe walked into shul just before Minchah. The smell of chulent wafted up from the downstairs kitchen. Someone came up the stairs. “Who’s making the kiddush this week?” he asked Moshe.

“What are you talking about?” replied Moshe. “I didn’t order a kiddush; no one sponsored this week!” He went downstairs and saw that food for the kiddush was set up.

At this time, it was too late to call the caterer.

On Shabbos morning, Moshe decided to serve the unordered kiddush, since otherwise the food would mostly go to waste.

On Sunday, he called the caterer. “Who told you to deliver the kiddush?” Moshe asked.

“My partner usually takes care of the booking,” the caterer replied. “He was away this week. It was so busy in the store on Friday that I didn’t remember whether you had ordered a kiddush and didn’t have your number. I decided to deliver one to be on the safe side. If you want to pay me, I would appreciate it.”

“I’ll take it up with the shul Board,” Moshe said.

The Board was split on the issue “We didn’t order the kiddush and didn’t need it,” some argued. “Why should we pay unnecessarily?”

“We did decide to serve the kiddush, though, and the shul members ate and enjoyed,” others replied.

They decided to turn to Rabbi Dayan.

Is the shul liable for the unordered kiddush?

This page is sponsored by nextgenrealestate.co.uk

Since the shul served the kiddush and the members benefited and enjoyed it,” replied Rabbi Dayan, “it would seem that the shul should pay partially.”

The Gemara (Kesuvos 34b; B.K. 112a) addresses the case of one who borrowed a cow and then he passed away. If the heirs mistakenly slaughtered the cow and ate it, they are not held liable as damagers or borrowers, but nonetheless pay demei basar b’zol, the cost of meat on sale, on account of the benefit and enjoyment they received.

Similarly, the Gemara (B.B. 146b) addresses the case of a chassan who sent gifts to his kallah, who later retracted from the engagement. She must return whatever gifts remain, and pay for what was eaten demei basar b’zol, the cost when on sale. The Gemara defines this as two-thirds the price, a 33% discount. Rashbam understands this as the rule for all people who ate without expectation to pay and would not have eaten had they known that they would have to pay.

“Furthermore, one could compare the delivered, unordered kiddush to a lost item. The Gemara (B.M. 28b) teaches that if one finds lost items that are not economically feasible to hold and return to their owner, he should sell them or buy them himself to recoup the owner’s loss. Rambam and Tur (C.M. 267:23) apply this to food that is spoiling. The finder should try to sell at full value to restore the maximum amount to owner, but under the circumstances of time and place in your case – that it was already Shabbos and the food was at a shul that was not interested in ordering a kiddush – the current value of the kiddush would be estimated at only about two-thirds” (Shach 267:16).

“Nonetheless,” concluded Rabbi Dayan, “the caterer took a calculated risk in delivering the kiddush, knowing that the shul might not have ordered it and would refuse to pay,” replied Rabbi Dayan. “Therefore, the shul cannot be held legally liable; it is similar to aveidah mida’as (selfintended loss). M Verdict: While not legally liable, it is morally proper that the shul should pay the caterer two-thirds of the cost of the kiddush for the benefit they received. ‫לע''נ אריאל יהודה ז''ל בן ר' פינחס צבי נ''י קליין‬

Provided by Business Halacha Institute. The BHI is a non-profit organization based in New York that educates and guides people in up to date applications of monetary halacha. For more information or to browse the BHI archives, visit www.businesshalacha.com

21 Dec 2019

‫כ"ג כסלו תש"פ‬

‫פרשת וישב‬

MIDDOS ‫דרגה יתירה‬ Rabbi Zalman Guttman Ramat Shlomo

)‫לז‬-‫וישב יעקב בארץ מגורי אביו בארץ כנען וגו‘ (א‬

It was at this time - after years of aggravation in the home of Lavan, physical and spiritual battles with Esav, terrible anguish over the defilement of Dina, and much tzaar gidul banim in raising his twelve sons - that Yaakov Avinu finally wished to settle down and learn Torah in peace. But this was not to be for the tragic episode of Mechiras Yosef interrupted his peace of mind and what ensued was a very long and difficult period in the life of Yaakov Avinu.

The Medrash asks: Is it not enough that a tzaddik experiences serenity in the next world - shall he also wish to feel that peace in this world?

The Mesilas Yesharim explains that the purpose of man’s existence in this world is to enjoy the radiance of the Shechina, however, the actual manifestation of this great goal occurs only in the next world.

One must work in this world to pass the tests in his life, perfecting his character traits and striving for excellence in his Avodas Hashem, in order to reach that ultimate level in the World to Come. The one and only purpose of serenity in this world is to allow a Jew to have peace of mind to be able to serve Hashem properly.

We are never supposed to desire serenity or even request it, for serenity is not an end unto itself; it simply helps us get to where we want to be. A Jew must ask Hashem to give him the strength - and yes, the tranquillity and peace of mind- he needs to be the best he can be and achieve the most to the best of ability.

After 120 years - when one reaches Olam Haba - he can then experience true ‫שלוה‬ - serenity and peace, by enjoying the radiance of the Shechina. Until then he must live by the maxim: One needs to cover ground before the ground covers him!

9

AHAVAS YISROEL

FOOD FOR THOUGHT TO SPARK N CONVERSATIO

When

the Rebbe Reb Yechezkel Halberstam of Shinov arrived in town to spend Shabbos, the entire population was buzzing with excitement.

The great tzaddik would daven in their midst and grace their Shabbos! Meanwhile, as everyone prepared for Shabbos, people found their way to the Rebbe’s quarters to seek blessings and advice.

Early on Friday afternoon, a young man arrived from the neighbouring town of Kolbesov. He was getting married the following week, and this Shabbos was his aufruf. However he was far from joyful; he was petrified of being called up for an aliyah because of his aliyah because of his severe stutter.

The Rebbe calmed him down and told him not to worry. Everything would be just fine. As soon as the young man left, the Rebbe told his assistant to pack up. We’re going to Kolbesov for Shabbos!”

The assistant was shocked.

After all the preparations and excitement in anticipation of the Rebbe’s presence, how could they leave the town?

Nevertheless, the Rebbe insisted that they should pack up the food that had been prepared and travel the short distance to Kolbesov. That Shabbos, when the chassan rose to make his blessing over the Torah reading, only pronounced the first word when the Rebbe answered and slowly, “Baruch Hashem Hamevorach l’olam va’ed.” When the chassan began the second brachah, the Rebbe once again shouted the response. In both instances, the chassan’s voice was drowned out, and no one discerned his stutter. In an instant, his worst fears of humiliation simply evaporated, carried away by the Rebbe’s voice.

Adapted from Glimpses of Greatness by Rabbi David Koppelman, with permission from Moznaim Publishers

TALK ABOUT IT

The Rebbe weighed the townspeople’s disappointment against the chassan’s fears.

What factors went into his decision?

The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy. For discussion only; actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

10

Oneg Shabbos Issue 231.

19 X

DAYS

CO U

Halacha Highlight ISSUING LENIENT RULINGS ‫כח דהיתרא עדיף ליה‬ The Tanna prefers to express the lenient position

When discussing the correct method for issuing halachic rulings, Teshuvas Be’er Moshe1 mentions the principle that appears in our Gemara that states ‫ – עדיף דהיתרא כח‬It is preferred to illustrate the lenient opinion. Rashi2 explains that in order to rule leniently one must be confident of his position.

In contrast, to rule stringently does not require confidence since even when one is uncertain about how to rule one can issue a stringent ruling. However, one must bear in mind the warning of R’ Ephraim Zalman Margolies of Brodie who wrote that one who unnecessarily issues a stringent ruling has violated a monetary prohibition since he caused another person to suffer a loss. He then adds that before issuing a ruling one must be very cautious not to cause someone unnecessary distress. Especially when it comes to questions related to food on Pesach where an unnecessary stringent ruling could lead to distress, financial loss and a loss of joy on Yom Tov, one must be certain that there is no room for leniency.

Be’er Moshe then notes that it is common for Torah scholars to issue more stringent rulings when they are young, and as they grow older to issue more lenient rulings. For example, Noda BeYehudah3 writes regarding a certain teshuvah that he wrote it when he was younger and as a result of his fear of issuing halachic rulings he was stringent. Sefer Shem Aryeh4 also writes about the author of the Levushei Serad that in the pamphlet he wrote when he was younger he took a more stringent approach regarding which broken bones render an animal or bird tereifah. When he was older and wrote another pamphlet regarding issues that could render an animal a tereifah due to conditions in the lungs he adopted a much more lenient approach. Minchas Yitzchok5 asserts that the use of the principle ‫ עדיף דהיתרא כח‬is a borrowed term since there is no inherent value to issuing lenient rulings.

All Rashi was expressing was that when given the choice, a Tanna would rather express himself from a lenient perspective since that requires greater expertise in the material but did not intend to convey that there is inherent value to issuing lenient rulings.

Be’er Moshe then notes that it is common for Torah scholars to issue more stringent rulings when they are young, and as they grow older to issue more lenient rulings.

Brought to you by

‫ רש"י‬.‫שו"ת באר משה (ירושלמיסקי) מאמר זכרון טוב אות טו"ב‬ .‫ ד"ה התירא עדיף ליה‬:‫ביצה ב‬ .‫שו"ת נודע ביהודה מהדו"ק אבה"ע סי' כ"ח בהגה"ה‬ .‫שם אריה בהוספות סו"ס י"ב‬ . ‫שו”ת מנחת יצחק הקדמה לח”א‬

S

itting in prison in Egypt because of a false accusation, and prior to this being sold to slavery by his brothers, Yosef had good reason to be focused inwards, and on his own problems. He had been through enough!

Yet, despite having his own struggles, we see that he is completely in tune with the feelings of those around him. He noticed that his fellow inmates were looking unhappy, and asked them what was wrong. ‘Why do you appear sad today?’

Bereishis 40:7. A simple action, yet enough to show that he cares.

There is a great satisfaction in ‘getting something off one’s chest’. Of simply talking about worries or struggles, even if there is no solution is in sight.

So often, people suffer greatly because they are unable to find someone with a sympathetic ear.

Our sages note beautifully the therapeutic quality of telling one’s problems to others. ‘When there is worry in the heart of man, he should tell it to others’ (Yoma 75a).

Let’s appreciate this principle in human psychology, learn a lesson from Yosef ’s concern for others, and keep our eyes and ears open to people around us.

Provide the platform for people to talk.

A simple and effective way of doing Chesed.

Lend an ear, and change a life!

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21 Dec 2019

‫כ"ג כסלו תש"פ‬

‫פרשת וישב‬

11

Sages through Ages THE

Dr Benji Schreiber

Rav Chaim Soloveitchik

Volozhin, Russian Empire 1853 – Otwock, Kingdom of Poland 1918 ‫אב‬

Rav Chaim HaLevi Soloveitchik – known as Reb Chaim of Brisk - was one of the outstanding Gedolim of Eastern Europe in the decades before the First World War, with lasting impact on the the method of learning and analysing gemoro in Litvish Yeshivos.

He was born in Volozhin (today in Belarus, then part of the Russian Empire) and the famous Yeshiva played a central part in his life. His father Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik (1820-1892) - known as the Beis HaLevi after his responsa – was Rosh Yeshiva there alongside the famous Netziv (1816-1893). The Yeshiva had been founded by his great great grandfather Rav Chaim of Volozhin (1749-1821).

The two Roshei Yeshiva had different learning styles. The Netziv followed the style of the Vilna Gaon, learning the Gemoro through the Rishonim to Halacha - ‫אסוקי שמעתתא אליבא דהלכתא‬. The Beis HaLevi, on the other hand, followed a more abstracted and intellectual approach which was later further developed by Reb Chaim. The Beis HaLevi left the yeshiva to become Rov in Slutzk. Reb Chaim was 12 at the time and he learned principally under his father’s tutelage.

In 1873, when he was aged 20, his mother died. At the Shiva, the Netziv suggested a shidduch for Reb Chaim with his own granddaughter, Lipsha. In 1879 the Beis HaLevi became Rav in Brisk and Reb Chaim and Lipsha moved with him.

Volozhin Rosh Yeshiva In 1881, the Netziv’s son-in-law, who had been Rosh Yeshiva in Volozhin alongside him, left to take up a Rabbinical post, and the 28 year old Rav Chaim Soloveitchik

‫כ”א‬

was appointed Rosh Yeshiva alongside the much older Netziv. Reb Chaim continued in this post until the Yeshiva closed in 1892 rather than accede to the Russian government’s demand for a dramatic increase in secular studies.

Reb Chaim was a genius, with great powers of concentration, analysis and exposition. His ‘Brisker’ method of learning was a revolution in the yeshiva world. He did not publish in his lifetime but his shiurim were transcribed by talmidim and copies – known as ‘stencil’ were distributed in the Yeshiva world and are pored over to this day. 18 years after his death his sons published ‫חידושי רבנו‬ ‫חיים הלוי על הרמב’ם‬.

Rov of Brisk Only months after the Yeshiva closed, the Beis HaLevi passed away in Brisk and the town appointed Reb Chaim in his place. He was passionate and charismatic, supportive of the poor and destitute and taking a firm stance against opposition, even from the wealthy gevirim. With his rebbetzin they raised forsaken babies and mamzeirim, and he supported single mothers regardless of their background.

Further afield, he became a Torah leader in Eastern Europe and a founding member of Agudas Yisroel.

During the First World War, they stayed in Brisk despite extremely difficult circumstances. Eventually they were forced to move to Minsk, where despite

being impoverished, he continued helping others. His own health deteriorated terribly during the war and in 1918 he died and was buried in Warsaw next to the Netziv.

Legacy Reb Chaim and Rebbetzin Lipsha had three sons and a daughter. The eldest, Rav Yisroel Gershon, was murdered in the Holocaust but survived by his son Rav Moshe Soloveitchik (1915-1995) who founded a yeshiva in Lucerne, Switzerland.

The second son, Rav Moshe Soloveitchik (1879-1941) became Rosh Yeshiva at Rabbeinu Yitzchak Elchanan in New York, where he was succeeded by his own son, Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik (1903-1993), while his son Rav Aharon Soloveitchik founded Yeshivas Brisk of Chicago.

The third son was Rav Yitzchok Zev (18861959), the Brisker Rov. His wife and three of his children were murdered in the Holocaust and he arrived in Yerushalayim in 1941 and rebuilt the Brisker Yeshiva in Yerushalayim. His grandson is Rosh Yeshiva of the Brisk yeshiva in Jerusalem.M

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Please do not read this publication during ‫קדיש‬, ‫ קריאת התורה‬or ‫חזרת הש''ץ‬. Please do not read the adverts on Shabbos or Yom Tov. Please would you ensure that there are ample sheets left in shuls for Shabbos before taking one home. ‫בברכת שלא ימוש התורה מפי זרעינו ומפי זרע זרעינו מעתה ועד עולם‬