237. Oneg Bo

‫הריני בא ללמוד תורה לשמה לעשות נחת רוח לאבינו שבשמים‬ ‫מוצאי שבת ר"ת‬

‫מוצאי שבת‬

237

Issue

'‫פקד יפקד ה‬

‫בס"ד‬

‫פרשת בא‬

‫ו' שבט תש"פ‬ 1 Feb 2020

‫קבלת שבת‬

JLM

MAN

LON

JLM

BMTH

GLSCW

GHD

MAN

LON

JLM

BMTH

GLSCW

GHD

MAN

LON

6.28

6.03

6.01

5.51

5.51

5.50

5.41

5.47

5.42

4.35

4.41

4.32

4.25

4.33

4.31

Pharaoh & the Moon In the midst of the epic description of the final plagues, the conflict between Moshe and Pharaoh and the impending exodus, the Torah segues into the mitzvah of Kiddush Hachodesh. This is highly intriguing; why of all possible places to insert this mitzvah, did the Torah place it into the middle of this narrative?

Throughout the drama that unfolds with Pharaoh, the pesukim convey one central theme relating to him- his obstinacy. He changes his position under duress, but as soon as the pressure is lifted Pharaoh, all too readily returns to his original stubbornness. Even upon admission of his guilt “and Pharaoh said this time I have sinned and Hashem is the Righteous One”1 he fails to truly give in to his ego.

Pharaoh has neither learnt his lesson, nor taken stock. His empire is now decimated due to a slave nation, yet he refuses to assess his own role in this downfall.

Of all cosmic bodies the moon is unique. From our perspective it is consistent in its behavioural fluctuations. Either waxing towards a full moon or waning away from sight, continuously changing in appearance. The moon is always on a journey toward or away from its full appearance. The sun, on the other hand remains, consistently shining, always the same.

The Torah tells us that Klal Yisroel are to have a special relationship with the moon2. It is our guide through time, determining the months with their accompanying festivals. The sun, which defines the day and therefore our daily activities from neitz –sunrise to shkiya – sunset, proscribes the allotted time for our daily routine. From tefillah to korbanos to the start and conclusion of Shabbos, all are determined by the sun in the sky, reliable and consistent and independent of our actions. Conversely, the moon indicates the commencement of months and yamim tovim, each one unique, no two months the same.

Furthermore, the moon requires human halachik interaction. We must validate its appearance, we must set our eyes upon the skies and search

‫ספר דברים‬

‫ספר במדבר‬

‫לע"נ ר' יקותיאל זלמן נאה ז''ל‬ ‫בן ר' חנניה יו''ט ליפא הי''ד‬ ‫נלב''ע ט''ז אדר תשע''ז‬

‫לע"נ מרת טויבא רחל נאה ע''ה‬ ‫בת ר' שמואל שמעלקא הי''ד‬ ‫נלב''ע כ''ה מנחם אב תשע''ז‬

Rabbi Uri Debson Director of Schools, JLE

for the subtle new crescent, we must witness its renewal.

The moon is reflective of us, of Klal Yisroel, it is our cosmic partner and teacher.

The lesson is to begin again, we will grow, we will shine, but we will also wane and almost disappear, only to start again. Through witnessing this monthly cosmic event we may establish our yamim tovim, celebrate our nationhood, and return to our Creator.

It is by no coincidence that the Egyptians worshiped the sun god Ra. To them continuity was key, the sun is always there. Therefore, Pharaoh in his unwavering commitment to his position, viewing himself as a deity, is unable to take leave of his paradigm, even in the face of incontrovertible evidence.

The Jewish nation are inextricably tied to the moon. If the moon teaches us one thing it is; begin again, assess yourself and change.

Don’t be like Pharaoh!

Our life journey is akin to fluctuating months, each one individual and unique, bringing to light its own texture, flavour and challenges.

But, crucially it ends and a new month begins and we must start again.

Perhaps it is most fitting then, that in reference to Kiddush Hachodesh Chazal state ‫אלמלי לא זכו ישראל אלא לקבל פני אביהם שבשמים פעם אחת‬ ‫ – בחודש דים‬Kiddush Hachodesh is our opportunity to encounter the Pnei Hashechina; for it is our moment of renewal! M ____________ 1 ‫כז‬:‫שמות ט‬ 2 ‫יד‬:‫רש’’י בראשית א‬

‫ספר ויקרא‬

‫ספר שמות‬

Please daven for

‫לע"נ‬

‫הב' אברהם יוסף אריה‬ ‫בן רוחמה אילה נ"י‬

‫לרפואה שלימה בתוך חולי ישראל‬ ‫לע''נ ר' מרדכי בן ר' שלום ז''ל‬ ‫נלב''ע ט''ו סיון תשס''ב‬

‫לע''נ ר' בנימין בן ר' מאיר דוד ז''ל‬ ‫נלב''ע ב׳ אדר תשע''ז‬

‫ספר בראשית‬

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2

Oneg Shabbos Issue 237.

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Kiddush HaChodesh Via Fixed Calendar:

Improved or Impaired?

Parshas Bo features the mitzvah of kiddush hachodesh, the process of identifying the new moon and then declaring the start of a new month. This instruction holds the great distinction of being the first commandment received by the Jews as a nation. A notable peculiarity of the declaration of Rosh Chodesh is the way in which it has evolved drastically from the initial process, which included eye-witnesses testifying to the Sanhedrin who would then declare the new moon, to the modern-day mechanical compliance with a precisely calculated lunar calendar.

At first glance, the introduction of a formal perpetual calendar that requires neither verification nor external adjustment appears to represent the forces of modernization and progress, since its sophisticated methods of calculation make redundant the Sanhedrin’s reliance on the laborious and potentially erratic process of interrogating witnesses.

In an extensive discussion on the subject, however, Rav Hirsch rejects this assertion as a fundamental misunderstanding of the function and symbolism of Rosh Chodesh. The institution of Rosh Chodesh is at times distorted by those who see it as paying homage to the moon and forces of nature—a remnant of pagan practice which was recycled into Judaism and subsequently re-clothed in monotheistic terms. According to such an understanding, precise calendar calculations which can more accurately follow the lunar cycle should certainly be viewed as a positive development.

In demonstrating the fallacy of such an approach, Rav Hirsch cites a series of halochos from Maseches Rosh Hashanah (20a-25b) governing kiddush hachodesh which challenge the notion that Rosh Chodesh is a tribute to the natural lunar cycle. This series of halochos teaches, for example, that even if the entire nation had witnessed the new moon on the thirtieth day, but the Sanhedrin was unable to declare the new moon formally before nightfall, the new month would begin only on the thirty-first day. Perhaps most significantly, Rosh Chodesh can be declared on the thirtyfirst day even if it had been witnessed on the thirtieth, if such an “incorrect” declaration would be beneficial to the nation. Even if the new month is wrongly declared deliberately, such a declaration remains valid. What this demonstrates is that the process of kiddush hachodesh deliberately removes Rosh Chodesh from the natural cycles of heavenly spheres, placing it instead under the control of human decision-making.

they were still in Egypt, as a preface Rabbi Shmuel Phillips to the instructions Author, “Judaism Reclaimed” regarding their exodus. We have discussed elsewhere how one of the stated objectives of the ten makkos was to demonstrate Hashem’s absolute mastery over all aspects of the physical world, noting that each makkah overcame a distinct “force of nature” which had been deified by the pagan Egyptian ideology.

The mitzvah of kiddush hachodesh was therefore enacted before the Jews had left Egypt. This preserved in halachah the freedom and power of God over the heavenly spheres worshipped by the determinist pagans, for whom there is no concept of renewal or freedom from the almighty forces of nature. The principle that Rosh Chodesh represents renewal and control over nature is reinforced by a Gemara, which translates “hachodesh hazeh lochem” as “This renewal is for you the start of the months.” A midrash connects the words “renewal” and “you” stating: “The renewal should be an example for you.” As explained by Rav Hirsch, the renewal of the moon symbolizes man’s ability to use his free will to overcome the forces of nature within him, thereby improving and renewing himself. This also explains why Rosh Chodesh is seen as a day of teshuva and renewal on which a national sin offering was offered.

Rav Hirsch notes further that the same leader (Hillel the Younger) who calculated and recorded the future calendar system for the post-Sanhedrin exile also legislated the creation of the “two-day Yom Tov.” A Gemara describes how the ruling concerning this additional festive day was maintained for Jews living outside of the land of Israel even once the adopted lunar calendar had apparently negated the need for it.

Rav Hirsch suggests that a reason for retaining these apparently superfluous days of festivity was to prevent the newly-regulated and precise lunar calendar from being seen as an improvement—a more accurate way of following the natural lunar cycle. “Second day Yom Tov” can, to an extent, correct this misunderstanding by demonstrating that declarations of yomim tovim and times do not merely reflect the cycles of nature but are controlled by human thought and decision-making.

In our times, this idea has developed further with a dynamic halachic debate over who qualifies as a resident of Eretz Yisrael or the exile for the purposes of this halacha. M

____________ This Dvar Torah has been adapted from a chapter of the recently published Judaism Reclaimed: Philosophy and Theology in the Torah which is available on Amazon and in Jewish bookstores.

The original chapter proceeds to discuss the concept of time in Judaism from the understandings of both the Rambam and the Maharal. More information and sample chapters can be found at www.JudaismReclaimed.com.

On the basis of this explanation, we can understand the significance of this mitzvah being commanded to the Jews while For questions on Divrei Torah, please email the editor Rabbi Yonasan Roodyn at editor@oneg.org.uk

To receive this via email please email subscriptions@oneg.org.uk

To suggest an idea or a response to the ideas exchange please email ideas@oneg.org.uk

1 Feb 2020

‫ו' שבט תש"פ‬

‫פרשת בא‬

3

A Lamb!

Seriously?

It’s cute, fluffy, tastes good, but to worship it as a god, seriously?

I hope our readers have enough of an appreciation for Torah to know that when the Torah is teaching us something, there is so much more depth than meets the eye. The following idea that I was privileged to hear from Rav Todros Miller shlit’’a is a perfect example of this. A few hundred words will not do it justice, but I do hope it will at least help us appreciate that there is so much more to it.

When Chazal tell us that Mitzrayim was a beit avdut it doesn’t just mean it was a place within which the Jewish people were enslaved. It means that its whole essence was slavery, everything it stood for was avdut.

What does that mean? Avdut isn’t just slavery, it’s total subservience. Not in the positive sense meaning a service of a Higher Being to grow in connection to and become similar to (which of course has a place in Torah, a discussion for another time perhaps). But rather total subservience meaning with no thinking, no drive, no heart and no goal. Just total zombies!

Like “lambs to the slaughter” as the saying goes. They were such avadim that even the animals that they worshipped represented total subservience. Lambs follow, they don’t ever lead, so one sheepdog can shepherd hundreds of sheep. They worshipped that which they were in essence. Sheep!

We also know that they worshipped the Nile. It was the source of all sustenance in Egypt. This was part of the reason it was struck by the first two plagues. The Nile, water, again represents servitude. Water flows. It has no colour, shape, no taste. You define it and it follows, it is totally subservient.

Even the word mayim comes from the word mah meaning what? It isn’t definable. “What” is it?

Interestingly this is true in a few languages.

Mayim - Mah Water - What Aqua - Qua Vasser- Vas This was the ultimate galut, encompassing all four galuyot within it. This is antithesis of what it means to be a Jew. A Jew doesn’t just follow their instincts. Rather, we are proactive not reactive and work with seichel. True strength is to be able to resist temptation and make thought out decisions.

“Ezehu gibor, hakovesh et yitzro” (Avot 4:1)

Our greatest Rabbi Yitsy David teacher Moshe, Managing Director, Chazak UK who lead us out of Egypt was exactly this. He came from the water and fights against water. Even his name means this. He was called Moshe, ki min hamayim mishitihu, for I drew him from the water. He was the only one who could help the Jewish people who had been engulfed by this avdut of Egypt, breakout of this mind-set.

The final blow against Egypt was the killing of the first born. Through being freed from Egypt, by slaughtering the lambs, we become b’ni bechori Yisrael, a nation of firstborns.

What is unique about a first born is that they have nobody to follow. They have the first opportunity to set the tone for the other siblings to follow - for better or for worse! Anyone who had an older brother a couple of years above them in school knows what it’s like to always be referred to as “Ploni’s younger brother” always living in the shadow of the bechor. A bechor is the one who has the real opportunity to lead. The rest of course can, but it’s much harder. So an Egyptian firstborn is an oxymoron! They could not exist anymore. The Jews were to become the real bechorim! So we slaughtered their lambs and headed on out to become a nation of firstborns.

This is why they worshiped the lamb and why on that night when we became Klal Yisrael, we slaughtered it. As Jews, we should never just follow our instincts but rather make conscious decisions, for only then will we truly achieve greatness. M

4

Oneg Shabbos Issue 237.

Restoring the primacy of Choshen Mishpat Restoring the primacy of Choshen Mishpat Under the auspices of Harav Chaim Kohn ‫שליט"א‬ Under the auspices of Harav Chaim Kohn ‫שליט"א‬

Rabbi Meir Orlian Halachah Writer, BHI

AN UNFORTUNATE CANCELLATION Q: A family from Chutz laAretz was planning on living in Eretz Yisrael for a year. They heard about an apartment for rent while still in Chutz laAretz, and, as is common in such situations, they sent a month’s rent up front. Unfortunately, before they could leave for Eretz Yisrael, their son was diagnosed with a severe illness, and they had to stay in Chutz laAretz for treatment. They informed the landlord of their plight and asked that he refund their payment. He claims that if he doesn’t find a replacement tenant, he has the right to keep the payment, and that they are technically even obligated to pay the rent for the year that they committed to.

Which side is correct?

A: The kinyan (acquisition) of a rented property is generally secured through the remittance of the first rent payment (Rema, Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat 195:9). Therefore, the transfer of that first month’s rent payment was a kinyan for the rental for the entire year (see Minchas Pittim 115:1).

[If the local custom is to write a rental contract, and the two parties planned to sign a contract, the remittance of the rental payment alone is not a complete and final kinyan (Shulchan Aruch 190:7 and Sema 195:20).]

We must examine, however, which halachos apply to a renter who was unable to live in the rental dwelling for the entire rental period due to an oness of the renter (circumstance beyond his control).

The Rishonim debate how to categorize the rental of a property in Halachah. Some Rishonim view it as though the renter has purchased, and actually owns, the property for the rental period, because renting an item for one day is considered a sale (Shu”t HaRashba 2:328). Others say that the property never actually belongs to the renter; rather, the rental agreement is a commitment between the two sides that the renter will pay the landlord for the use of his property during the rental period (Tosafos, Bava Metzia 56b s.v. Vehai; see Shach 334:2).

Some Acharonim say that one practical application of the dispute between the Rishonim pertains to cases of oness – according to many Acharonim, to all cases of oness (Machaneh Ephraim, Sechirus 5, among others), and according to some, the Rishonim only debated the case of a tenant dying (Aruch Hashulchan 334:12, Galei Hayam 38, and Pischei Choshen, Sechirus, ch. 6, fn. 24).

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According to the Rishonim who say that the payment is remitted for the use of the property, if the tenant cannot use the property, he is not required to pay the rent beyond the period that he lived there. But according to the Rishonim who say that the property actually belongs to the tenant once a kinyan has been made, that kinyan applies to the entire rental period that was agreed upon, and the tenant (or his heirs) will have to pay for the entire rental period even if he cannot live there. This would be akin to a person who bought property for a certain price and died before he could pay the entire amount – obviously, his heirs must pay the outstanding balance from the estate (Rema 334:1).

Other Acharonim maintain that even according to the Rishonim that view a rental as a temporary sale, in a case of oness the renter is not required to pay for the rest of the rental period (Shach 334:2; Machaneh Ephraim 5).

Ultimately, the poskim rule that we cannot force the tenant to pay future rent, because he is a muchzak (in possession) on that money, but anything he has already paid cannot be reclaimed from the landlord. There are two reasons given for the latter ruling: (1) Since the matter is disputed by the poskim, we cannot take away money that the muchzak – in this case, the landlord – has already received. (2) When a potential renter places a deposit on a property, he does so knowing that an oness might prevent him from actually living in the property, and he is willing to take that risk (Shach ibid.; see Erech Shai).

In our case, the child falling ill after the rental agreement was finalized is certainly categorized as an oness (see Rema 333:5), and the tenant is allowed to terminate the rental agreement without paying the rest of the rent, but he cannot demand that the landlord return the payment already transmitted (cf. Shu”t Tzemach Tzedek, Choshen Mishpat 45 and Minchas Pittim 334. Also see Choshen Mishpat 207:4-5, Shu”t HaRashba 2:328 and Nesivos 312:7 regarding cancelling the rental due to an umdenah (mistaken presumption).

If, however, the tenant had already known that there was a possibility that his son was ill when he agreed to rent the property, and he did not stipulate that he would rent the property only if his son is able to travel, he would be required to pay for the full rental (334:1). M ‫לע''נ אריאל יהודה ז''ל בן ר' פינחס צבי נ''י קליין‬

Provided by Business Halacha Institute. The BHI is a non-profit organization based in New York that educates and guides people in up to date applications of monetary halacha. For more information or to browse the BHI archives, visit www.businesshalacha.com

1 Feb 2020

‫ו' שבט תש"פ‬

‫פרשת בא‬

5

FREE WILL Hashem said about Pharaoh “I have hardened his heart and the heart of this servants”. The Rambam sees free will as the underlying principle behind our whole value system, behind the concept of responsibility and understanding about what we are here for.

Therefore the Rambam is bothered by the passuk and asks, how is it that free will can be tampered with? It is as if Hashem has selected a pawn who has to serve a purpose (in this case – that Hashem has to show how miraculously this country will be destroyed, so that the Jews will see that Hashem runs the world). It seems as though Pharaoh was put into the world not to use his free will?

The Rambam explains that Pharaoh brought himself to this level of free will. Had Pharaoh been a good person in the first place, had he made the right decisions, Hashem would never have done this to him. Therefore, according to the Rambam there are situations where a person has made so many evil decisions that Hashem will interfere with his free will and that Pharaoh was the exception to the rule. The Rambam makes the point that its essential for the Jew to recognise that he has total free will. Hashem doesn’t interfere.

We too have the choice to go with Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits the flow and live like Rosh HaYeshiva, Aish HaTorah Rosh Kollel, The Jerusalem Kollel everyone else or to what is right. If we choose to go with the flow, that is our choice and we will bear responsibility for it.

Hashem created this beautiful world with everything it has to offer and gave us the choice of choosing to be miserable and blaming it on everyone else, or choosing to appreciate its beauty and how good it is to be alive.

It’s interesting that the Rambam didn’t include this in his principles of faith. It seems that this is an underlying principle.

Without it nothing begins. Unless you agree you have free will then you don’t have any responsibilities. This is the most fundamental of the fundamentals, nothing begins without it. M Transcribed by Rabbi Zvi Gefen, Aish UK

We have to appreciate the greatness of the human mind. The human being has the ability to see past his environment, past his personality, past his early childhood experiences, because there is something in him that knows truth. Our intellect draws from our neshama, the G-dliness within us that knows truth. And that ultimately if you turn to your own intuition you know what is right and what isn’t. If you use your brain you can dissect your feelings and understand why things feel right rather than allowing yourself to be fooled when a particular experience feels right, when there were certain elements that were great and certain elements that weren’t.

The Jew has confidence in the human being like nothing else.

We don’t accept human frailty as being inevitable. Humans are gullible – but that is choice. You can choose to follow the crowd, but you don’t have to. Avraham was called the ivri. The whole world was on one side, and he was on the other side.

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agivort

6

Oneg Shabbos Issue 237.

This page has been sponsored anonymously

MENTAL HEALTH IN THE TOR AH

INNER CALM

Rabbi Aryeh Sampson

OVERCOMING WORRY & ANXIETY Our era has been called the Age of Anxiety, which isn’t surprising considering the pace of modern life, financial stresses, family pressures and global unrest.

I’d like to share a unique approach for reducing worry and anxiety, which I call the ‘ACTive Method’. It’s based on Judaism and psychotherapy, and views anxiety as a call to look within ourselves and express our authentic selves more deeply.

At the method’s core is a three-stage process of personal transformation which was taught by Rav Yisroel Salanter, the founder of the Mussar Movement: Awareness – gaining insight into oneself.

Control – taking conscious control over your inner negative tendencies.

Transformation – transforming these tendencies to follow the wishes of our true self.

STAGE 1: AWARENESS The first step is becoming aware of our inner dialogue – what our worried thoughts are telling us, and what’s causing them.

Reb Yisroel preceded Sigmund Freud in stressing the influence of the subconscious on our behaviour. It is common for our worries to result from subconscious concerns or fears.

Anxiety can be rooted in difficult or traumatic experiences from the past, when you felt helpless, disempowered or scared. Anxiety may also result from self-defeating behaviors and character traits, such as an excessive need for control, procrastination, or a lack of confidence.

STAGE 2: CONTROL Once you understand the nature of your worries and their source, you can start to gain conscious control of them by using what is known in Jewish thought as the ‘garments of the soul’.

These are our powers of thought, speech and action, which can be used individually or in combination with each other.

Thought: Challenge your irrational thinking Our worries are often rooted in illusory thinking. Fear can be seen as an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” These illusionary thoughts can cause you to blow issues out of proportion and to envision the worst possible scenario taking place. For example, someone worrying about finances may imagine him or herself poor, homeless, and on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Memories of similar painful or traumatic events from the past can also be projected onto the current situation, and the worry takes on enormous proportions.

By challenging our irrational thinking, we can start to see our worries more objectively and calmly. Ask yourself some of these questions: Are there other plausible ways of seeing the situation?

Even if it did happen, will all the negative consequences that you anticipate come true? Even if the worst consequences were to come true, how could you best cope with them?

If you find after doing this that there are real elements to your worry, you will need to think about suitable solutions. (We’ll get to this later on.)

Speech: Share your worries; don’t keep them to yourself.

Articulating your worries reduces them. To begin with, it helps you gain insight and develop a more productive perspective. King Solomon advised this, stating “If there is worry in a person’s heart, articulate it, and a good word will turn it into joy.” Also, getting something off your chest and venting negative feelings can bring huge emotional relief.

Sharing your worries with Hashem is also very powerful.

King David explained “Cast your burden on Hashem and He will support you” (Psalms 55:23). This has been backed up by scientific research. A recent study interviewed 246 people before they underwent cardiac surgery. The results showed that those who prayed before the operation were less anxious and more optimistic regarding the outcome.

Action: Confront your fears head on.

Implementing a plan of action to deal with your area of concern – facing your fears – reduces the fear by moving you from feeling helpless to feeling more in control. Jewish thought explains that this works because taking action changes our internal thought patterns and feelings, as ‘our heart and our thoughts are pulled after our actions’.

This concept is an underlying principle of behavioral therapy, which focuses on changing behavior to uproot psychological problems. For example, a person who feels great anxiety around dogs would gradually increase his exposure to dogs until he could tolerate them.

STAGE 3: TRANSFORMATION In this third stage we go beyond just controlling worry to changing the underlying character trait that causes the worry so it doesn’t recur.

The Rambam explains that when we repeat appropriate positive acts many times we gradually create new habits and change negative traits. For example, a person whose worries are caused by being overly controlling needs to repeat actions that exhibit greater flexibility; a procrastinator needs to repeat actions that are more proactive.

Albert Ellis, one of the originators of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, was extremely shy in his youth. Over time, he trained himself to overcome his fear of rejection by striking up conversations with hundreds of strangers in the Bronx Botanical Gardens.

With these changes, a person becomes able to naturally move into a state of calmness and greater joy in life, as Rabbeinu Bachya, explained: “Joy dwells naturally in the heart when worry is removed.” M This excerpt is from Rabbi Sampson’s new book, Go to Yourself.

BIO: Aryeh Sampson is a psychotherapist practicing in North London and counsels worldwide by Skype.

He also a Rabbi and author of ‘Go to Yourself,’ a book based on the teachings of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter and modern psychotherapy; he gives workshops and seminars on these topics. For more information about the book visit www.aryehsampson.com. The author can be contacted at: aryeh.sampson@gmail.com.

To Join Aryeh Sampsons Whatsapp group, save this number to your phone and send “Subscribe” to +44 7727697181.

Aryeh Sampson will be speaking at Netzach Yisroel Mowbray Road, Edgware HA8 8JL Shabbos Parshas Bo at 12pm

1 Feb 2020

‫ו' שבט תש"פ‬

‫פרשת בא‬

7

MENTAL HEALTH IN THE TOR AH

COMPLACENCY, DEFINING, BELIEF & TRAINING

W

e have all heard about the popular method of therapy used in psychology called Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or CBT. How many of us, however, have heard about the method of therapy called CDBT? This is a method which predates CBT by several thousand years in which The Torah outlines four stages of progression and development which, although begins with complacency, ends with a successfully rehabilitated person. This approach has been used to help thousands of people with their issues if done methodically and taken seriously. The stages are complacency, defining, belief and training.

Initially, when one has an issue which is adversely affecting one’s life, the tendency is to be complacent. One avoids any change or even clearly contemplating that they might have a problem. If that is their approach, it is virtually impossible to help them. The first thing they must do is to realise that something is very wrong and needs to be dealt with. The first stage is not to be Complacent.

The next stage is for the person to clearly identify and define the problem. What exactly needs to be done? What is the area of weakness that I am susceptible to? This is a sobering experience in which a person must be critical and judgemental and focus on the area in need of repair. The famous maggid, Rabbi Sholom Shwadron would often comment on how peculiar it was to see intelligent, mature, religious people dash out of a chupa to go to the reception in order to start to indulge in the food. He once saw a man who did not receive his main course and literally ran half way across the room to remind the waiter of his oversight. Reb Sholom asked the man why he was so caught up in his meal that he was willing to belittle himself and run after the waiter. The fellow’s response was, ‘’Reb Sholom, it is a Seudas Mitzvah!’’

Justifying faults is a common human defence mechanism as we don’t like to admit that we have an area which requires hard work. Step number two, therefore is to Define the problem.

Once this is achieved, a person is ready to act. They do, however need to believe in themselves and realise that they have the potential to succeed. It is not enough to define the problem unless one believes that they have the support, the tools and the capabilities to

Rabbi Yaakov Hamer Bridge Lane Beis Hamedrash

overcome their issue.

This third stage is simply Believing in one’s ability to fight and emerge victorious.

The final stage is training and habituating oneself in their new regimen. Up until now, it’s all been theoretical. Henceforth, a person must continuously train themselves to behave in a new manner.

Training.

These four stages are, in fact, alluded to in the four expressions of redemption at the beginning of the parsha. V’hotzeisi, v’hitzalti, v’goalti, v’lokachti. The first stage is ‫והוצאתי אתכם מתחת סבלות‬ ‫ – מצרים‬I will remove you from the ‘burden’ of Egypt. The word ‫סובל‬ connotes someone who has been afflicted with something negative and bears it. The first stage of the geula is to realise that I am bearing something negative. I cannot remain complacent and ignore this.

This is something damaging and must be rectified. Hashem tells us, the beginning of redemption is to realise that there is a problem and decide to break free.

After that has been established, ‫ – והצלתי אתכם מעבדתם‬I will save you from your servitude. I will save you from your unique, individual problem which you struggle with. What is your avoda which brings you down? For the Bnei Yisroel it was their service of the Egyptian gods. Other people need to define their particular problem so they can attempt to remedy it.

Next comes belief in oneself and one’s ability to change. ‫וגאלתי‬ ‫ – אתכם בזרוע נטויה‬I will redeem you with an outstretched arm. ‫ חז''ל‬say this is referring to krias yam suf which solidified our belief in Hashem and Moshe. According to our explanation, the pshat is, I will redeem you by showing you that you have power! Needless to say, belief in one’s ability to succeed is synonymous with belief in Hashem as the source of this strength. With siyata d’Shmaya, you have an outstretched arm and you must believe in yourself.

Finally a person needs to start to train themselves and act in the manner which they have outlined. ‫ – ולקחתי אתכם לי לעם‬I will take you for my nation. This refers to Matan Torah, where we received the ‫ תורה‬which compels us to actually put everything into practice and habituate ourselves in a lifestyle which will lead to spiritual and emotional success and happiness. M

THE KABBALAH OF THE BLUES HOW TO BEAT THE DOLDRUMS

W

e have all been there. We have all had the days, weeks and months where no matter how hard we try, we are unable to get out of our own head. Our thoughts race and our misery lingers. We walk around like Eeyore of Winnie the Pooh fame.

Rabbi Yakov Sacks

The Chai Center, Dix Hills, NY What can we do about it? How do we shake the blues and get into a happier rhythm of life? Surprisingly, or for some not surprisingly, the Kabbalah and Chassidic wisdom address this common everyday problem that plagues humanity. Do anteaters even get depressed?

8

Oneg Shabbos Issue 237.

This article does not address a clinically depressed individual who has a brain misfire and/or lack of serotonin. I am sure it can help but some cognitive behavioural therapy, together with medication, is most effective. This advice is geared for one’s day-to-day doldrums and for blue spells that affect us greatly.

In the mystical book of Tanya, the author discusses melancholy and heaviness of the heart and mind and he offers up some solutions.

I have taken the liberty of breaking it down in what I call the three “tudes”.

ATTITUDE

Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi zy’’a, the author of the Tanya, posits that if we change the way we think, we will change the way we feel. This holy book was disseminated widely in the early 1800’s and was revolutionary in its approach, as many believed that our characters are determined by genetic factors. Others believed it could be determined by early childhood experiences and/or conditioning.

The author, however, asks us to simply (or not so simply) reframe our thoughts by changing our attitude. He postulates that we were not brought into this world to suffer. We were born to accomplish.

We are here to help others. We were created because we matter. We are alive in order to make a difference and that we need to focus on others and not only ourselves. This is something that Viktor Frankl

dedicated his life to, and wrote a bestselling book about it called Man’s Search for Meaning.

MAGNITUDE Every one of us has something to offer this world. Not one of us is redundant. Just as every fingerprint is different from the next person’s, so is our mission. What we were brought down to accomplish is vastly different from the next person.

When we realise the magnitude that we need to do what we were brought here to do, and no one in the world can other than you, then who has time to dwell on negative thoughts or what I call stinking thinking? You and only you can complete a certain deed, act or endeavour. You need to figure out what and when and then go do it!

FORTITUDE If you have been faced with an obstacle to overcome that is giving you the doldrums, rest assured you were given the resources to overcome. You may need to think about it or even seek advice, but the ability to overcome is within your reach.

I am not referring to a huge obstacle like a death (chas ve sholom). In fact, Halacha demands that you set aside time to mourn

and grieve. I am once again referring to basic lethargy and stupor.

I once saw a meme that says that the letters that form the word depression, can be altered to read, I pressed on. M

Introspection & Achieving our Goals Rabbi Yitzchok Sandler

F

or almost every single plague, Pharaoh is very willing to let the Jewish people go in the midst of the pain, but as soon as all has subsided, he changes his mind. Is he stupid? Masochistic? Or just forgetful?

Crazy as it sounds, the latter is the most likely answer. In fact, Pharaoh is just like the rest of us. When things are not going well, it makes us appreciate what is really important. Ill health makes us realise how much our bodies mean. Poverty makes us realise how much financial security means. Family problems make us realise how much family means. Challenges, whatever they may be, give us perspective.

The trouble is that as soon as those problems go, we get back into our old

ways. We get upset about petty things. We argue with people we love about insignificant issues.

We worry about the most inane matters.

So how do we do it? How do we keep perspective on what’s important?

Chazal give one simple rule. They call it cheshbon hanefesh – a spiritual accounting. It should take no more than 5-10 minutes a day and will change your life forever. But, simple as it seems, it is incredibly difficult to get yourself to do.

A person must ask him/herself, at least once a day, three questions: 1. What am I living for?

2. Are my actions consistent with that?

3. How can I get my actions to be more in line with what I want?

Try it out. It’s a simple, but extremely powerful formula. And it results in a much more focused, more meaningful, more goal-oriented life. But of course,

like all things of value, it takes commitment and focus, and it can be extremely painful, simply because it keeps us on track.

We look at Pharaoh as a comical figure, thinking he’s such a big shot, but totally without any control over his life.

There is such a simple route to success if only he would take it – but it will require a little humility and backing off from his comforts.

Most of us in fact are actually quite like Pharaoh, and seemingly happy in that insanity. Don’t wait for events in your life to remind you of what’s important. Take some time every day to remind yourself. That way, you just may achieve what you want. M

1 Feb 2020

‫ו' שבט תש"פ‬

‫פרשת בא‬

9

SHEMIRAS HALOSHON

QUIZ

FOOD FOR THOUGHT TO SPARK N CONVERSATIO

A new exciting quiz on the Parsha Perfect for the Shabbos table!

This quiz is colour coded into three abilities

7 1

RULES OF TO’ELES

At times, negative information may [or must] be repeated for a constructive purpose. For instance, if you are speaking in order to:

than Title’ other What ‘Sedra the s in ta f ‫ ּבֹא‬con the Sedra o ? e’ m root ‘co

a. Help the person you are speaking about. b. Help someone victimised by the person or prevent others from being victimised. c. Resolve major disputes. d. Help others refrain from improper behaviour.

‫ִּכי ָתבֹא‬

2

True or False: The locusts stayed in the fields but did not enter the Egyptians’ houses?

PROVIDED THAT:

1. The information is accurate; based on first-hand

information and careful investigation. You must have seen the person’s behaviour yourself. The only time that one can repeat second-hand information is to protect someone from potential harm. Even then, it is necessary to state that you are relating second-hand information.

2. The situation is well understood. Any possibilities to judge the person favourably have been explored.

3. All other options were tried. If there is any other

way to achieve the desired result without revealing the negative information, then one may not relay the negative information.

Fal se the ‫ּק‬ ‫ו‬ ‫ס‬ ‫פ‬ ָ ּ cle arly ָ ‫או ָב ֶּת‬ says: ‫יך ו ָּב ֵּתי ָכל־‬ ּ ‫ו ָּמ ְל‬ ָ ‫ֲע ָב ֶד‬ ‫ל־מ ְצ ַריִ ם‬ ִ ‫יך ו ָּב ֵּתי ָכ‬ ...and they will fill your hou ses and the houses of all your servants and the houses of all Egypt...

4. You tried to speak to the person yourself before 3

es up a ‫ ַא ְר ֶ ּבה‬com The word ‫ ֵס ֶפר ְ ּב ֵרא ׁ ִשית‬but s in at few time cust. Wh t mean lo ! o n ? n it does ea does it m

speaking about him. Note: This condition does not apply if speaking to the person yourself will make it impossible to achieve the desired result.

5. Your intent is pure. You do not bear a grudge against this person or have any reason to take pleasure in relaying this negative information.

6. You will relate the information accurately, without

exaggeration or altering of the facts. One may also not leave out information that would minimise the severity of the person’s behaviour. In addition, one may only say the minimum necessary for the intended purpose.

7. No undue harm will be caused. If the person will

receive a more severe punishment or incur more damage than beis din would assess, one may not relate the incident.

ltiply’ ‘I will mu It means osuk ‫ְו ַה ְר ָ ּבה‬ p as in theָ ְ ַ‫ַא ְר ֶ ּבה ֶאת־ז‬ ֲ‫ר‬ ‫עך ְּככוֹ ְכ ֵבי‬ l sure and I wil ‫ ַה ּ ׁ ָש ַמיִ ם‬... ed like ly your se en... ly multip av of the he the stars

In addition, there must be a reasonable chance of bringing about the desired result, otherwise your words will not be leto’eles.

Reminder: You must preface your words by saying that you are speaking leto’eles.

Available in London at local Judaica shops.

For more information: gfreilichjewishgames@gmail.com

The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation Reviewed by Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Lowy. For discussion only; actual halachic decisions should be made by a rav or halachic expert on a case-by-case basis.

10

Oneg Shabbos Issue 237.

CO U

Gemara GEM SOUND ADVICE ‫ לא תרתח ולא תחטי לא תרוי ולא תחטי‬... ‫א"ל אליהו לרב יהודה‬

Eliyahu warned Rabbi Yehuda to avoid anger in order not to sin, and he also told him to avoid over drinking in order to avoid sin. What is the common denominator here that they are listed together?

Maharal (Nesivos Olam, Avoda 13) writes that when a person is well-balanced and adjusted, he is able to function with an open mind and to stay far from sin. However, if a person is subject to imbalance, whether it be from a physical standpoint or from a psychological perspective, he is weakened and might come to sin. Anger is a departure of one’s personality from a state of objectivity and fairness. Consumption of alcoholic beverages also causes a compromise of the controlled physical condition of a person. In either case, the possibility of sin is introduced when the normal and even balanced state of being of a person is jeopardised.

Accordingly, the Gemara concludes with a final piece of advice to reinforce this counsel. When one sets out to travel, he should consult with his Maker, and only then set out on his way. When a person plans to go about his business, he is about to focus upon his own pursuits, which apparently necessitates somewhat of a departure from his pursuit and concentration upon service of Hashem. However, when this change in venue is preceded with a prayer where one addresses Hashem and considers his personal needs in terms of his avodas Hashem, then his business and professional pursuits are no longer in the realm of the mundane. When a person sees his “going on his way” as a function of avodas Hashem, he is no longer departing from his striving for spiritual growth, for even his earthly needs have been infused with kedusha. M Brought to you by

Brought to you by

T

he Egyptians are struck with the plague of darknesss, it was something so tangible that they were actually unable to move.

The Netziv makes a remarkable deduction, since during this time only the Jewish people were not affected by the darkness, it must be that the Jewish people went out and gave food and water to the Egyptians whilst they were unable to move to find food for themselves. How else would they have survived?

This life saving act shows the unbelievable compassion of the Jewish people. Coming to the aid of a people who had caused them nothing but pain.

Looking further into the parsha, upon leaving Egypt the Jews are told to ask the Egyptians for compensation. ‘…let them ask every man of his friend, and every woman of her friend silver vessels and golden vessels…..’ (Shemos 11: 2) The Egyptians, their tormentors, are described as ‘friends’?!

The Netziv explains that a change has occurred.

Whereas earlier in Parshas Shemos, there was no way they could find a friend to go and ask valuables from, now things are different. The Egyptians who are earlier described as ‘neighbours’ now recognised that their lives were saved by the Jews during the plague of darkness. Now, they considered themselves friends!

From here we learn the beauty and importance of compassion. To strive to overcome our natural instincts, and to help despite our feeling that the recipient does not deserve it. To move past grudges and give unconditionally.

And the transformative nature of giving. That giving can be used as an antidote to animosity.

As a tool to break down barriers, and change ‘neighbours’ to ‘friends’.

This is the power of giving.

www.jgift.org

‫נ“ב‬ ‫בכורותכ"ט‬ ‫ברכות‬

THE

Daf Yomi WEEKLY

WN NTT OW D DO OO NNTT

Siyum Hashas

1 Feb 2020

‫ו' שבט תש"פ‬

‫פרשת בא‬

11

Sages through Ages THE

Dr Benji Schreiber

The Lubavitcher Rebbe

Nikolaev, Russian empire 1902 – Manhattan, New York 1994 ‫ג’ תמוז‬ Rav Menachem Mendel Schneerson was the seventh and last Lubavitcher Rebbe, often known simply as The Rebbe. He had a profound impact on world Jewry which continues to this day.

Biography He was born in Nikolaev on the Black Sea, today in the Ukraine. He was the oldest son of Rav Levi Yitzchok Schneerson and was named after his paternal ancestor, the Zemach Zedek, the 3rd Lubavitcher Rebbe (1831-1866). When he was 6 they moved to Yekatrinislav where his father was Chief Rabbi until 1939. From age 7-11 he learnt with a private melamed. When he was 17 his father hired a tutor to teach him secular studies. He received Semicha from the Rogatchover Gaon and the Sridei Eish, Rav Yechiel Yaakov Weinberg (1884-1966).

In 1923 he met the sixth Rebbe, Rav Yosef Yitzchak Schneerson, known as Rayatz, and he married the Rebbe’s daughter, Chaya Mushka, in 1928. The marriage was long and happy (60 years), but childless.

After marrying they moved to Berlin where he studied maths, physics and philosophy, while writing hundreds of pages of chiddushim and doing communal tasks on behalf of the Rebbe. While there he formed a close friendship with Rav Yosef Ber Soloveitchik.

After the Nazis came to power in 1933 he moved to Paris and continued studying maths and mechanical engineering until war broke out in 1939. They fled the Nazis through Vichy, Nice via Lisbon arriving in New York in 1941. He had two younger brothers, Dov Ber Hy’’d was murdered in 1944 by Nazi collaborators, while Yisroel Aryeh Leib died in 1952 while completing doctoral studies in theoretical physics at Liverpool University.

His father-in-law passed away in 1950, but it took a full year to convince him to accept the role of Rebbe which he did with a Maamar, an inaugural Chassidic drosho in which he declared: “one must go to a place where.. nothing is known of Judaism.. and while there to put yourself aside and ensure that the other calls out to G-d”.

He received visitors for personal meetings, yechidus twice a week, from 8pm until five or six in the morning. Later, from 1986, he would stand for hours on a Sunday and meet people briefly, giving each one a dollar and encourage them to then donate it to the charity of their choice. He gave weekly drashos lasting several hours without notes. He worked over 18 hours a day, never took a day of

vacation and opposed the concept of retirement.

He tirelessly set up Chabad programmes around the whole world. Mitzvah campaigns encouraged tefillin, lighting Shabbos candles and loving fellow Jews.

In 1983 he launched a campaign to teach the seven Noachide mitzvos to gentiles.

He set up a daily learning program of Rambam’s Mishna Torah. Today there are Shluchim in all of the 50 U.S. States, in over 80 countries and 1,000 cities around the world. His published works fill more than 200 volumes and he wrote tens of thousands of letters. He was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal pictured here by President Clinton, who said “The late Rebbe’s eminence as a moral leader for our country was recognized by every president since Richard Nixon”.

He took an insular chassidus that almost came to an end with the Holocaust and transformed it into one of the most influential movements in world Jewry.

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Capitalize on the protection! You or your business may be eligible to enjoy the long-term, tax-free return on investment and business protection.

Please call Leo (Itzy) Eckstein +1 347 838 0869 for details.

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