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‫ | י"ז כסלו תשע”ז | פרשת וישלח‬17TH DECEMBER 2016 Shabbos Times

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‫הדלקת נרות‬

3:36 PM

3:34 PM

3:23 PM

‫מוצש’’ק‬

4:51 PM

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K I N D LY S P O N S O R E D

‫לעילוי נשמת הש"ץ שלמה בן אברהם משה ז"ל לעילוי נשמת חנה בת אלעזר ע"ה‬

Resolving Conflict Rabbi Meir Shindler | Rabbi of Richmond United Synagogue We finally reach the climax. After being apart for many years, Yaakov and Esav, the roots of two diametrically opposed civilisations meet. And something remarkable happens. The usually unflappable Yaakov gets a case of the jitters. “Vayira Yaakov meod vayetzer lo” (Bereishis 32:8) – Yaakov is struck with fear. This is extraordinarily puzzling.

On two occasions Hashem had promised Yaakov that He will protect him and be together with him on his travels.

What better guarantee than that can there be? He has also sent Esav many gifts, and in fact there is no indication from the pesukim that Esav intends any evil or animosity towards Yaakov at all!

Rashi, quoting a Midrash, makes a startling comment: “vayira” means he was afraid of being killed; “vayetzer” means he was afraid that he might have to kill Esav. After all, Yaakov and his family were no push-overs. Yaakov himself was able to lift an enormous stone from a well effortlessly, and his two sons Shimon and Levi had the ability to wipe out a whole city just by themselves. But what is so terribly frightening about killing Esav? He will have emerged victorious from the conflict!?

The Ramban writes at the beginning of the parsha that we must observe and analyse Yaakov’s approach to this conflict very carefully as it has ramifications throughout the generations as to how we must conduct ourselves.

The Seforno enlightens us as to how the meeting unfolded. The Torah describes (33:4) that when Esav first saw Yaakov he ran to meet him and embraced him. The Seforno comments that in that moment Esav’s heart was ‘over-turned’ in favour of Yaakov because of how his brother had humbled himself towards him through showing him respect and by offering him lavish gifts.

This approach of Yaakov, he says, is congruous with the curse of Achiyah HaShiloni whom the Gemara in Taanis 20a asserts cursed Israel to be like a reed that is soft and flexible and bends in all directions in the wind. The Gemara in Sanhedrin 105b adds that this is better than Bilam’s blessing that Israel are like the cedar, which may be strong and rigid but cracks under immense pressure. In the era of the second Beis Hamikdash, Turn to the back page to see writes the Seforno, it was our Country in Focus the inability of the biryonim

NOW IN THE FOLLOWING PLACES

(zealots) to humble themselves before the might of Rome that caused the Beis Hamikdash to be destroyed.

This was Yaakov’s victory. His goal in his interaction with Esav was to preserve the essence of what his family and his nation was all about. His greatest fear was the negative influence that Esav would have on his family.

Yaakov persuades Esav to accept his gift: vayiftzar bo vayikach” (33:11). The Seforno on that verse makes a strange comment. He contrasts this with an identical usage of the word “vayiftzar” in the second book of Melachim (5:16). The General Naaman tries to persuade Elisha the prophet to accept payment for curing him from tzaraas. In that instance however, he points out that Elisha did not accept. What is the Seforno trying to achieve by highlighting this contrast?

The difference is that Naaman felt obligated to pay Elisha for his services. If Elisha would have accepted the gift, Naaman would have felt like he had paid his dues and would not feel indebted to Hashem. Yaakov, in contrast, wanted to ensure that Esav accepted his gift and in that way would feel subconsciously subordinate to Yaakov and not able to wield his influence over his family.

This perhaps is what Rashi means when he interprets: “vayira” to mean he was afraid of being killed and “vayetzer” to mean he was afraid that he might have to kill Esav. He was concerned that if the conflict could not be resolved diplomatically and it resorted to violence, it would be a loselose situation; either he would be killed or he would have to resort to Esav-style tactics and do the killing himself.

The essence of Yaakov is “hakol kol Yaakov” (the voice is the voice of Yaakov), not “yadayim yedei Esav” (the hands are the hands of Esav). He will have succumbed to Esav’s negative influence.

Thus in parshas Vayechi, Yaakov reprimands Shimon and Levi that “klei chamas mechayrosayhem” (Bereishis 49:5) – “weapons of violence are their wares”. Rashi quotes the Midrash that Yaakov was accusing them of learning this aggressive style from Esav.

We must understand that within all the relationships that we have it is inevitable that conflict will arise. We learn from Yaakov that aggression is rarely the answer; we must humble ourselves in order to achieve an amicable resolution rather than resorting to Esav-like intimidation tactics.

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SEDRA SUMMARY ÂÂ ÂÂ ÂÂ ÂÂ ÂÂ

Yaakov meets Esav Shechem kidnaps Dina The Birth of Binyamin The Death of Rachel Imeinu The Generations of Esav

Yerushalayim, Amsterdam, Antwerp, Baltimore, Beit- Shemesh, Borehamwood, Budapest, Cancun, Edgware, Elstree, Gateshead, Gibraltar, Glasgow, Hale, Hong Kong, Ilford, Johannesburg, Lakewood, Larnaca, Las Vegas, Leeds, London, Los Angeles, Manchester, Melbourne, Miami, Milan, New York, Oslo, Paris, Petach Tikva, Philadelphia, Radlett, Ruislip, Santiago, Sao Paulo, Southend, Tallinn, Tarzana, Toronto, Uman, Vienna, Zurich

Fighting Fire with Fire Rabbi Shimmy Miller | Rebbe at Manchester Mesivta The choice of surroundings that one makes can be one of the most crucial decisions in a person’s life. The effect that others have on us can never be disregarded despite the disingenuous claims of some that they “don’t care what other people think”. There are times however, like in the case of Yaakov living with Lavan, when one is put in a situation of negative influence due to circumstances beyond one’s control. With this idea in mind we can understand the testimony of Yaakov to Esav that he spent many years with the nefarious Lavan but still “kept the six hundred and thirteen mitzvos”. Esav may have thought that time spent with Lavan would inevitably result in a decline in Yaakov’s spiritual status, which would be a chink in his armour that could be exploited in his attack upon Yaakov. What is less clear is why Yaakov needed to follow up this statement with the claim that he also “did not learn from Lavan”, surely something self-evident from the already stated fact that he succeeded in holding steadfast to all the commandments passed down from his father’s whilst in Lavan’s home?

Our view of the Patriarchs is one in which we see them as models of virtue and humility.

In fact, explains Rav Meir Shapiro of Lublin zt’l, the statement of Yaakov, in keeping with this picture we have of him, was not one of self-praise, but one of self-admonition. It was true that he had retained his former level of mitzvah observance, but there was a potential for growth that he had missed which he was actually able to glean from Lavan’s behaviour, that of his enthusiasm for his actions. It is true that everything Lavan did was the antithesis of Yaakov’s own life view, but there

was a passion to his acts and a willingness to give everything up for his goals, which was something that Yaakov could have applied to his holy endeavours, which sadly “he did not learn from Lavan”. An opportunity missed to climb ever higher, even found in the murkiest of places, is a cause for regret for one as elevated as Yaakov.

In this day and age, it is almost impossible to completely cut oneself off from the outside world, despite anyone’s best efforts to do so.

There are of course influences that are so

PARSHAH

Miller’s Musings:

negative in their very nature that any contact must be completely restricted, but there are some that in our lives may be impossible to avoid. That being the case, perhaps the only path left for us, is to at least try and learn what we can from the influences that are so pervasive. At this point in history, one such example is found when faced with the current enemy the world now faces, a foe singleminded in their pursuit of the destruction of all we hold most dear, both in our Holy Land and now extended throughout the Western World. When confronted with such singleminded devotion we may ask what hope we have to defeat such a determined threat to our existence. Perhaps Yaakov has given us the key and has taught us that the only path laid out for us is to fight fire with fire by learning from their fanaticism. If they have such zeal for destruction of life we must battle it with our passion for creating a worthier life. If they are obsessed with hate, we must be obsessed with spreading love to all. If we truly believe in Who really runs the world, it is surely the quickest path to our salvation from this evil.

May the serenity of Shabbos spread throughout the world.

L’ilui Nishmas Leah bas Avrohom L’Refuah Sheleima Soroh Yael bas Brocho Esther To receive Miller’s Musings weekly to your phone or email please send a request to 07531322970 or rabbimiller.mesivta@gmail.com

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Why does the Torah detail the whole process of how Yaakov dealt with Eisav?

“A kiss is just a kiss” - or is it?

Rabbi Alan Lewis | Edgware Yeshurun “And Esav ran to meet him (Yaakov). He hugged him and fell on his neck and kissed him. And they (both) wept.”

Inside the Sefer Torah it will be noticed that on the word for “and he kissed him” '‫ 'וישקהו‬there are dots on top of each letter of the word. Rashi commenting on this phenomenon, explains that there is a difference of opinion on this matter in the medrash. There are those who explain these dots to mean that Esav did not kiss Yaakov wholeheartedly, but Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai said that it is common knowledge that Esav hates Yaakov but at this moment Esav’s pity was aroused and he did kiss Yaakov wholeheartedly.

neck turned into marble – why in particular marble and not any other hard material like the metals of iron or copper?

The Shem Mishmuel, Rav Shmuel Boronstein of Sochachov zy’’a understands that these three explanations of Chazal are all correct. Each one is another angle of approach of comprehending what happened when the two brothers met after twenty years of separation.

Basing our understanding of the situation from an early prayer that Yaakov uttered before his face to face confrontation with Esav, we begin to unravel the mystery as to what actually happened.

In his heartfelt prayer Yaakov beseeched Hashem to save him “from the hand of his brother, the hand of Esav”, Yaakov was showing by mentioning “the hand of his brother” first, that he feared more the brotherliness and closeness of his brother than the Esav with a sword in his hand ready and prepared to smite the wives/mothers and children of Yaakov. The reason for this being that the proximity of Esav poses a greater danger to the future descendants of Yaakov. Esav could inject a spirit of evil into the children of Yaakov that could distance and impair them from reaching their goal and purpose in life to embrace the ways of Hashem through the Torah.

The dots are written on the word to demonstrate the change of intent on Esav’s part from what would be naturally assumed. The first opinion of the medrash, that Rashi quotes, holds that a kiss represents wholehearted love and the dots therefore suggest that this was not the case.

In the Medrash Rabbah, Rabbi Yanai explains that the dots are there to teach that in reality Esav did not come to kiss Yaakov but rather to bite him and miraculously the neck of Yaakov turned into marble.

There are a number of questions that are begging to be asked on these graphic enigmatic Midrashim. In the end did Esav kiss Yaakov wholeheartedly or not? In other words which opinion that Rashi quotes is correct? If Yaakov’s

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A kiss represents a yearning from one party to another for a close intimate relationship. It was this sort of closeness that scared Yaakov the most.

Therefore, from one point of view Esav’s brotherliness towards Yaakov was aroused when he saw Yaakov prostrating himself in front of him and that part of hatred for Yaakov symbolised by the sword in the hand was quashed inside Esav at this moment in time. Hence, it would be correct to say Esav’s kiss was wholehearted.

However, from the other point of view, maybe the brutish side of Esav had momentarily disappeared but the hatred disguised by a veneer of friendliness was still very much apparent.

Hence the kiss was not genuine. It was really more like a bite to cause the utmost harm to Yaakov.

When Yaakov’s neck turned into marble and not into a metal, the Shem Mishmuel explains this to mean that according to Halocho, marble is one of those materials that is not “mekabel tumah” – it does not absorb impurity, unlike the metals of copper and iron which do absorb the tumah.

Consequently, Esav approached Yaakov with an intent to insert into Yaakov a perilous impurity through the intimacy of a kiss. However, Yaakov’s neck turned into marble to demonstrate the total unwillingness to accept such evil impurity into his life and the lives of his children.

From an individual like Esav a kiss is just not a kiss. It is a bite!

av Yaakov Edelstein (92) recently underwent throat surgery and since then he communicates mostly through writing.

Recently he has begun a type of restoration. This is a long process of work and practice, which aims to allow the patient to express himself somehow without vocal cords. The therapist at the ENT department at the hospital asked him for the first two words Rabbi Edelstein would like to practice first. In other words, what is the most urgent words he would like to say?

Now, pause and think for yourself. What would you answer? If you were to choose only two words of Hebrew vocabulary, what would you ask for?

Rabbi Edelstein answered immediately. I want to practice saying “thank you” and saying “Amen”.

Wow. After all, this is really, in essence, the entire Torah. Thanks – Bein Adam le’Chavero, his wife, his children, his neighbours, grocery seller, the guard in the parking lot. Amen – Bein Adam Le’Mokom.

Yehi Ratzon we should have the ability to talk and to use those two words as much as possible Le Refuah Shelaimah Rabbi Yaakov ben Miriam. Amen

T H I S PA G E I S K I N D LY S P O N S O R E D B Y T H E F E D E R AT I O N

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SHAILATEXT 07860 017 641 2. livingwithmitzvos.com

Once Avraham’s name was changed we are no longer allowed to call him by his previous name Avram (unless when learning those pesukim in the Torah) (17:5). Why then do we find that after Yaakov’s name was changed to Yisrael (32:29) we can still call him by his previous name of Yaakov?

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Rabbi Yehonasan Gefen | Rabbi for Keter HaTorah The Parsha ends with an account of the genealogy of Esav. In the midst of this we are told of the birth of Amalek, the progenitor of the nation that would constantly strive to destroy Klal Yisroel. “And Timna was a concubine to Eliphaz and Eliphaz gave birth to Amalek...1” The Gemara in Sanhedrin informs us of the background to this terrible occurrence. “Timna was a Princess, but she wanted to convert. She came to Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov [to convert] but they would not accept her2. She then became a concubine to Eliphaz the son of Esav. She said that it was better to be a maidservant to this nation rather than be a powerful woman in another nation. [As a result] Amalek, who would cause Yisroel great pain, was born from her. What is the reason [that this incident produced Amalek]? Because they [the Avos] should not have distanced her.3” Rashi explains that the Gemara means that they should have allowed her to convert4.

It seems clear that the Avos had sufficient reason to reject Timna’s efforts to join their nation. They were aware of the evil within Timna’s nature5. Consequently, they refused to allow her to join the Jewish people.

Accordingly, why were they punished so harshly for their seemingly correct decision? Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz zt”l explains that we learn from here that no matter how bad a person is, one should not totally reject him6. It seems that the explanation for this is that as long as there remains any hope that the person will improve their ways it is forbidden to distance them and thereby remove any chance of their doing teshuva. Evidently, there was enough hidden potential within Timna that justified allowing her to join Klal Yisroel.

Rav Shmuelevitz says that we learn a similar lesson with regards to Avraham Avinu’s relationship with his wayward nephew, Lot. Avraham only split up with Lot when machlokes threatened to sour their relationship.

Rav Shmuelevitz points out that Avraham did not receive prophecy whilst Lot was with him due to Lot’s presence.

Nonetheless, Avraham refrained from distancing Lot until he perceived that there was no hope of preventing Lot’s yerida. Despite all of Avraham’s efforts and selfsacrifice in helping Lot, Chazal still criticizes him for distancing his nephew. “Rav Yehuda says, there was anger against Avraham Avinu at the time that he

PARSHAH

Education Through Encouragement

to causing Esav to change his ways. We learn from here that encouraging and showing faith in a wayward person is a key tool in helping him find faith in himself and giving him the strength to change his ways.

separated his nephew from him; Hashem said, ‘He (Avraham) clings to everyone but to his own nephew he does not cling?!’7” Even though Avraham made great efforts to influence Lot and was even prepared to lose the gift of prophecy in order to influence him, nonetheless he is criticized for eventually sending him away8.

We see this principle with regard to a remarkable story involving Rav Yitzchak Hutner zt”l. There was a bachur in his yeshiva who was struggling badly with his learning. As a result he was severely lacking in self-confidence and found himself in a downward spiral that placed him in great danger of drifting away from observance. Rav Hutner was giving a Gemara shiur and this Bachur asked a seemingly ordinary kasha. On one occasion Rav Hutner responded as if he had asked a tremendous question and throughout the shiur repeated it several times with great admiration. Receiving such adulation from a Gadol gave a tremendous boost of selfconfidence to the boy. As a result, after this one occasion he stemmed his yerida and experienced an incredible turnaround in his confidence, learning and general observance. His relatives described Rav Hutner’s achievement as no less than ‘techias hameisim’10. By showing this young man that he was able to learn, Rav Hutner was able to give him the boost that saved his Yiddishkeit.

We have seen how it is incorrect to reject someone if there is any chance of saving him. What then is the correct approach to dealing with this difficult issue? The Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh sheds light on how to deal with a wayward child in his explanation of why Yitzchak wanted to bless Esav instead of Yaakov. He argues that Yitzchak was totally aware of Esav’s low spiritual level, and he nevertheless wanted to give him the Brachos. He writes; “The reason that Yitzchak wanted to bless Esav Harasha was that he believed that through receiving the blessings, he (Esav) would change for the good and improve his ways, because righteous people feel pain when their children do evil and he (Yitzchak) was trying to help him improve his ways. The Ohr HaChaim does not explain how giving Esav the blessings would have caused him to improve his ways.9” It is possible that giving the Brachos to Esav would give him great encouragement and show him that his father had faith in his ability to continue the legacy of the Avos. Such a show of confidence could in itself have been the catalyst

We learn from the incident with Timna that rejecting a person as a hopeless cause is a very serious matter.

If Chazal tell us that Timna, the person who produced Amalek, was deserving of a chance to join Klal Yisroel, all the more so, a person who is struggling with his Yiddishkeit, deserves the opportunity to improve himself.

We also learn from the Ohr HaChaim’s explanation in Parshas Toldos that showing faith in a person is a tremendous way of helping him change his ways. These principles do not only apply with regard to people drifting from Torah, they also apply to our general hanhagos with our children, students and people around us. The Gemara in Sotah tells us that we should push away with our left hand and bring in with our right. The right hand is stronger than the left, thus the Gemara is telling us that we should always give precedence to positive reinforcement over criticism. Showing others the inherent good in them is the most effective way of bringing about improvement. May we all merit to bring out the best in ourselves and those around us.

1 Vayishlach, 36:12.

2 See Ayeles HaShachar of Rav Shteinman Shlita who asks that this Gemara does not seem to fit in with the chronology of events. Avraham died when Esav was fifteen years old and Eliphaz was not yet born.

Timna was the daughter of Eliphaz, so how is it possible that Timna approached Avraham to convert?! Any approaches are welcome.

3 Sanhedrin, 99b.

4 Rashi ibid.

5 See Rif in Iyun Yaakov, Sanhedrin, 99b who offers a different explanation why the Avos rejected Timna. He explains that she was a mamzeres and they were concerned that if she joined the Jewish people nobody would want to marry her because of her tainted yichus.

6 Sichos Mussar, Parshas Pinchar, Maamer 85. The one exception to this rule seems to be when the wayward person seriously threatens the spiritual well-being of those around him. This explains why Avraham banished Yishmael because Yishmael constituted a grave threat to Yitzchak Avinu. In a similar vein it is said in the name of the Chazon Ish that a bachur in Yeshiva is comparable to a sick person in hospital.

Throwing a bachur out of Yeshiva is comparable to throwing a sick person out of hospital! The one exception he made was if the sick person’s disease is contagious and threatens the health of everyone else. So too, a wayward bachur should only be thrown out if his actions can seriously affect his fellow bachurim.

7 Bereishis Rabbah, Ch.41:8.

8 See Maamer 85 in full for other examples of this yesod.

9 Ohr HaChaim, Toldos, 27:1.

10 Heard from My Rebbe, Rav Yitzchak Berkovits who heard this story from close relatives of the bachur.

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Why did Rachel die and buried on the way, not meriting to be buried in Ma’aras Hamachpeila?

Tribute, Prayer and War Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Jacobson | The Yeshiva None of us is exempt from this daily confrontation with “Esav.” We are constantly overwhelmed with materialistic burdens, selfish moods and immoral appetites. The incessant demands of our selfish and beastly consciousness present a threat to kill the “Yaakov” within us.

Two Perspectives Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping together, they put up a tent and then go to enjoy a tranquil rest near the fire. In the middle of the night, Sherlock turns to Dr. Watson and says, “So what are you thinking about now”?

Watson responds: “Sherlock! This is awesome.

I’m gazing at the celestial stars hovering above us, I’m overwhelmed by the romantic splendour of the night, and I’m engulfed by the picturesque view of the double decker.

How does one deal with these potent forces, which, seemingly, are much more powerful than the holy forces within us? We must employ Yaakov’s three-step program of tribute, prayer and war.

“And what are you thinking about”? asks Watson.

Honouring Your Animal First of all, we must grant Esav some of our assets. We have to acknowledge the animal consciousness living within us and honour its presence by granting it its needs. We must eat, sleep, exercise, earn a living and engage in an ongoing relationship with the physical world around us. The animal soul deserves to receive a lavish daily tribute from us, which includes our time, energy and resources.

“That someone stole our tent,” Sherlock replies.

Tribute, Prayer and War Following thirty-four years of separation from his parents, Yaakov sets out with his family to return from Mesopotamia to his home in the Land of Israel. On his way, he learns that his brother Esav is advancing toward him with an imposing army, determined to kill him.

Our sages derive from the Biblical narrative in the portion of Vayishlach that Yaakov prepared for the confrontation with Esav through a threepronged strategy of “tribute, prayer and war [1].”

Yaakov first sent lavish gifts to Esav in the hope of assuaging his wrath. These gifts included goats, ewes, camels, cows, bulls and donkeys. Next, Yaakov engaged in a heartfelt prayer, surrendering himself and his fate to G-d’s compassion. Finally, Yaakov readied himself and his family for a fullfledged war with Esav.

The Daily Battle The stories in the Torah are not just events that occurred at a certain point in history, involving particular characters. They are also reflections of spiritual and emotional episodes that occur continuously in every human heart.

Man is a duality: He is a mountain of dust and a vision of G-d. The twin brothers Yaakov and Esav embody, respectively, these polar forces within the human person [2]. Esav embodies our self-centred, egotistical and animalistic identity, while Yaakov personifies our transcendent, spiritual and idealistic soul.

Yet, how do we ensure that we don’t overdo it?

How do we guarantee that our daily tributes to the animal identity within us will not place it at the centre of our lives, supplanting the spiritual soul as the true core of our identity?

For this, Yaakov must engage in prayer.

“Rescue me,” Yaakov prays as Esav approaches, “from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esav. I am afraid of him, for he may come and smite me [3].” Why the redundancy “from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esav”?

There would be no need to fear Esav’s influence if we were detached from the Esav reality, if we were to live as spiritual ascetics.

Yet Judaism demands that Esav become our “brother;” that we engage our bodily and animal needs, and that we deal with the physical world around us. Under these conditions, the only way we can ensure that Esav does not dominate and control our lives is through prayer.

The Gift of Prayer What is prayer? Just as there is a time to engage the animal soul and pay tribute to its needs and desires, there is a time each day when we let go of our physical identity and enter into the transcendental oasis of our soul. It is the time when we put the ego to sleep and we discover our inner love and spirituality.

The enmity and rivalry between the siblings reflect the never-ending tension and struggle between the two forces in our lives: the struggle between our ego and our humbleness, between our selfish cravings and our noble aspirations, between our impulsive lusts and our altruistic yearnings.

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All day, we think about our tents; during prayer we focus on the stars, on the splendour and meaning of life.

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How old was Rivka when she died?

PARSHAH

Yaakov's Three-Step Program toward Serenity

Have you ever experienced the power of prayer? Sadly, the speed and manner with which too many shuls conduct their shacharis services resemble a train station far more than a spiritual islands where one may return home to their soul. That’s a pity, because lacking the daily experience of genuine prayer we inevitably become vulnerable to the onslaught from the Esav within [4].

For example, when one doesn’t daven properly and connect to their soul in the morning, they often lack the courage and vision to control the food addiction of the Esav-impulse and you engage in an unhealthy breakfast. When we go to the office, we may lack the fortitude to conduct our business affairs honestly. Prayer ensures that the tribute we present to our animal soul does not exhaust us completely until we have nothing left to call our own.

Under the Knife Yet, all of the above does not suffice. Yaakov must also prepare himself for war. Some of the urges and passions of our animal soul cannot be dealt with through prayer alone. We must declare war against them.

At times during the day or the night, we are overtaken by a powerful, animalistic Esav-like urge that is burning in our hearts like a baker’s furnace. At such a moment there is only one thing to do: You must take your fist, punch the impulse in its face and get on with your life. War is a nasty thing, but at times it is our only hope to survive the onslaught of a demon that is determined to kill us [5].

A story: One of the great Chassidic masters, Reb Simcha Bunim of Psischa zy’’a, once remarked that the true definition of a spiritual man is he who always imagines his head lying in a guillotine, his Yetzer Harah hovering above it, ready to chop off his head at a moment’s call.

“But Rebbe,” asked one of the Chassidim, “what if one does not have that feeling?”

“In that case,” the Rebbe responded, "his head has been chopped off already [6].”

[1] Rashi, Bereishis 32:9, quoting Midrash Tanchumah.

[2] This is discussed in many of the mystical writings.

[3] Bereishis 32:12.

[4] See Tanya chapters 12 and 28.

[5] See Rashi to Brachos 5a. Tanya chapters 12, 27, 29.

[6] This essay is based on the writings of Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, briefly transcribed in “LeTorah U’lmoadim” (by Rabbi Shlomo Yosef Zevin) p. 46.

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Rabbi Yissochor Frand | Rosh Yeshiva, Ner Yisrael Baltimore At the beginning of Parshas Vayishlach [Bereshis 32:5], Yaakov sends Esav the message (according to the Medrashic interpretation) that I have resided with Lavan (im Lavan garti) and nevertheless I have fulfilled the 613 commandments (v’Taryag mitzvos shamarti). Rashi (in his first explanation of the expression “im Lavan garti”) interprets “I did not become a dignitary or notable, but a mere transient alien (ger). It does not befit you to hate me over the blessing of your father who blessed me ‘Be a lord to your brothers’ – – for it has not been fulfilled in me.”

In other words, Yaakov is telling Esav, “I know you are still angry with me because I ‘stole’ the brachos; but I want to tell you something: You don’t need to be upset, because it did not work! Here I am today, 34 years later and I am nothing more than a foreigner, a stranger.”

Likewise, on the pasuk where Yaakov explains to Esav that he has acquired “ox and donkey”, Rashi comments: Father said to me, ‘From the dew of the heavens and from the fatness of the land’. This property (cattle and slaves) is neither from the heavens nor from the land.” Again, the bottom line is that the brachos did not work and in hindsight, there is no reason for Esav to be getting upset!

We must ask two questions: First, Yaakov certainly did not expect that these blessings of Yitzchak would apply right here and now. These were not ‘instant blessings’. These blessings were not fulfilled until years later when the Jewish people returned to the Land of Canaan and settled it – up through the glorious period of Shlomo HaMelec. It is like starting a business. Everyone knows that a business does not make money for the first few years.

A person does not close his business after 6 months because he “hasn’t made his first million yet”. When Bill Gates started Microsoft in a garage in Seattle, Washington, he did not become a 40 billion dollar individual overnight. In terms of the long range fulfilment of Yitzchak’s blessings to Yaakov, 34 years is merely the blink of an eye. So what type of an argument is this to Esav that he should not be upset now because Yaakov still has not seen fulfilment of his father’s blessing?

Rav Moshe Feinstein zt’’l asks an even more profound question: This approach of pointing out to Esav that “the bracha did not work” gives the appearance as though Yaakov is saying that Yitzchak’s bracha — which in effect was prophecy – is not true! He seems to say that the blessing was not worth anything. Heaven forbid can we say

that Yaakov did not believe whole-heartedly that Yitzchak’s blessings to him would yet come true.

The Sefer Ikvei Erev provides an answer to which I would like to append an idea of the Seforno, which makes the approach even more understandable.

The first rule of public speaking is, “Know your crowd”. The first rule of negotiations is, “Know with whom you are dealing”.

Back in Parshas Toldos, when Esav came in from the field tired, he told Yaakov “Sell your birthright to me as this day (ka’yom)” [Bereshis 25:31]. The Seforno explains the nuance of the term “ka’yom”: Esav was a person who lived for the here and now — a person who lived for today. When such a person is hungry and he wants a bowl of lentils, he wants it NOW. He is willing to sell something (e.g. – the right of the first born – the ‘bechora’) which could be tremendously valuable in the future, for the sake of acquiring a simple bowl of soup right now.

Yaakov knew Esav’s attitude and his value system and therefore proposed a “sale price” for the bechora, which he knew would be attractive to his brother.

Yaakov knew that these blessings were something that would be relevant and valuable not only for him and his children but for his great great grandchildren for all generations as well. He knew this was something that affected the future of the Jewish people for millennia to come. Future generations and future millennia were not currency for Esav. He was strictly a man of the present, a man of “ka’yom”. He is strictly interested in instant gratification. If it is not right away, it is not worth anything.

In light of this background, we can understand Yaakov’s psychological approach to his brother in Parshas Vayishlach. Yaakov tells Esav, in effect, “Look Esav, it is now 34 years later. Nothing has come of the blessings I purchased from you.” In Esav’s eyes, 34 years is an eternity. He is now more convinced than ever that he got the better deal in the earlier sale. Of course, Yaakov did not doubt

In memory of

the prophetic blessings that Yitzchak bestowed upon him. However, he knew this was a “long term investment” and he knew with whom he was dealing.

He was dealing with an Esav for whom if it is not here today, it does not have much value.

This explains something else. At the beginning of the parsha, Yaakov is full of fear. He prepares for the meeting with Esav with prayer, with presents, and with preparations for battle. But in fact he had an insurance policy. Esav had already stated that as long as Yitzchak was still alive, he was not going to kill Yaakov. If so, why was Yaakov so afraid?

Yitzchak was still alive at this point!

The answer is that when one deals with an Esav, the whim of the moment can overpower him. While theoretically, he may have felt “I don’t want to cause pain to my father” but with an Esav, if he gets set off for a moment in the wrong way, he could decide to kill Yaakov on the spot! This is the way of the wicked.

They are subject to their whims and their passions.

For Yaakov to rely on the fact that Yitzchak was still alive and Esav once promised not to kill his brother during his father’s lifetime would be foolhardy when dealing with such a personality.

We say these words and we feel smug about ourselves. We say “Yes. Esav is wicked and he only lives for the here and now (ka’yom).” Unfortunately, all of us, to a greater or lesser extent, many times in our lives make compromises, as we live in the “here and now” and we do not take into account the longrange future and certainly not eternity.

The fact is that many people put most of their time, worry, and concern into the temporal things of life — be it money, careers, houses, or all the things that attract us. We are really making a decision to give up things involving eternity for that which is temporal. How many people, when they are 40, 45 or 50 years old and their kids are already grown up, realise that they spent the first 20, 25, or 30 years of their lifetime invested in their careers at the expense of their children? When they finally “wake-up” and they say they want to do something with their kids, the kids are already out of the house and it is too late. This is a case of people having decided for the “ka’yom” (here and now) in lieu of the “nitzchiyus”.

So we cannot so smugly say to ourselves, “Eh! That is an Esav. An Esav sells the bechora for a bowl of soup. An Esav gives up Olam HaBa for Olam HaZe.” We need to ask ourselves how many times we are guilty of the same thing. We need to take the long view of life. We need to take Yaakov’s approach.

Leslie and Freda Aaronson

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5. How old was Rachel when she died? livingwithmitzvos.com

PARSHAH

Know Whom You Are Dealing With

PARSHAH

You’ll Never Walk Alone Chazan Michael Simon Author of Mimini Michoel on the Parshah & Mo'adim

It is around this time of the year, with the ‘festive season’ bearing down upon us, that the non-Jewish world seems more acutely and perceptibly aware of the potential to neglect the needs of those, who for one reason or another, find themselves alone in the world. Social isolation becomes a broadly undesirable state to be in and serving Chanukah goose for one (or its meleagrine equivalent) is rendered quite unconscionable.

The notion of being alone makes an explicit appearance in this week’s parshah, within one of those emblematic passages in the Torah that cries out for an explanation of some profundity. The possuk [22:25] tells us that, having dispatched his wives, children and possessions across the Yabok river, va’yi’voser Yaakov levado – Yaakov was left alone, whereupon he had to wrestle with a man, whom Rashi identifies, quoting the Medrash, as the soro shel Esav – Esav’s guardian angel.

The previous Bostoner Rebbe, Ha’Admor HaRav Levi Yitzchok HaLevi Horowitz ‫זצוק''ל‬, whose yohrzeit falls on Motzei Shabbos Vayishlach, observes that there are many commentaries on the word levado (alone). There is a simple meaning, derived from Hashem’s words to Odom that being alone is not a good state of affair and secluding oneself away from other people, in the style of a hermit, is not a route to spirituality of which Hashem approves.

To establish a deeper meaning to the use of the word levado in the context of Yaakov’s

struggle with the sar shel Esav, the Rebbe quotes our holy ancestor, the Rebbe Reb Pinchas (the Ba’al Haflo’o), who explains an intriguing Gemoro in Maseches Sukkah [52a]. The Gemoro describes how, in the time of Moshiach, Hashem will reveal in physical form the appearance of the yetzer horo (one’s inclination to turn from the path of Hashem) to all. To the wicked it will appear like a single strand of hair, whilst to the righteous it will take the form of an enormous mountain. Both categories of people will cry at this revelation. The wicked will weep at the realisation that, through their actions, they have forfeited a share of the World to Come for something so insignificant. However, the rationale for the reaction of the righteous is rather less obvious.

The Ba’al Haflo’o explains that the righteous will be distressed and embarrassed at their personal inability to meet the task set for them by Hashem, adding that they would never have been able to overcome the yetzer horo, were it not for extensive

divine assistance. This concept is one way to interpret the description of vayivoser Yaakov levado – which Yaakov was, at that very moment, devoid of heavenly assistance.

Moreover, the struggle happens at night, when the negative forces in the world are in the ascendency. Therefore, Yaakov was clearly in a very vulnerable and dangerous situation and, yet, he fortified himself with all the strength that he could muster until alos hashachar (dawn) – that is, until alos, he reached the madreigo (spiritual level) at which juncture the strength of his positive influence overcame the opposite force within the angel – and hashachar, daytime, with its more favourable, spiritual connotations, had begun. It was this confluence that made Yaakov finally victorious.

Whether physically, spiritually, psychologically or intellectually, situations arise throughout our lives where we may feel levado – alone and inadequate for the challenge we face of overcoming the mountainous yetzer horo. It is precisely at these moments that we must recall the actions of our forefather Yaakov, his perseverance and fortitude in the face of a robust and resilient foe. We must draw strength for ourselves, employ all the selfcontrol at our disposal and ensure that we exert our Divinely-inspired capacity for positive influence over ourselves and all those around us. If we but make the effort, Hashem can be relied on to do the rest.

ANSWERS 1. The Ramban (introduction to Parshas Vayishlach and 33:15) explains that it is to teach us in exile how to deal with the goyim as seen in how Yaakov dealt with Esav. Great Jewish representatives would specially learn this parsha before travelling to Rome on behalf of the Jews.

2. Really we should only call him Yisrael. However, since the pesukim themselves afterwards still call him Yaakov we therefore see that this is permitted. This is not the case with Avraham and therefore Avram is no longer his permitted name.

3. Rashi (31:32) brings that since Yaakov cursed anyone who had stolen the terafim from Lavan, and it had been Rachel, she therefore died on the journey.

Rashi (30:15) brings another reason. When Rachel gave up her night with Yaakov in exchange for the Dudaim, since she put down the importance of being with Yaakov she did not merit to be buried next to him.

4. The Biur HaGra to Seder Olam 2 brings that Rivka died when she was 133 years old.

5. The Midrash Seder Olam (Chapter 2) brings that Rachel died when she was 36 years old.

6. Devora, Rivka’s nurse (35:8) and hidden here is also Rivka’s death (Rashi).

Rochel (35:19) and Yitzchak’s death (35:29).

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6. How many great people died in Parshas Vayishlach? livingwithmitzvos.com

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PARSHAH

In this week’s Parsha, Vayishlach, we read how Yaakov was prepared to send to Esav many of his animals. When Esav finally meets Yaakov, he wants to return them to Yaakov, with the expression ‘yesh li rov’, I have plenty. Yaakov’s response to Esav was the famous line of ‘yesh li kol’, I have EVERYTHING. I don’t need anymore. I know that Hashem gives me all that I need. These animals are not included in what I need. The portrayal of Yaakov here is that of an ish tam, a complete person. One who knows that they have received everything that Hashem wants them to have, and does not look for anything more. However, just a short time earlier, we see Yaakov in quite a different light. First, we see how, after crossing the river Yabok, Yaakov risks his life, to go alone, in the middle of the night, to pick up some small utensils of negligible value. If Yaakov could say yesh li kol to Esav, why did he not say yesh li kol to himself?! Should he not have viewed the utensils that were left behind on the other side of the river as surplus to his requirements, as Hashem made him leave them behind (albeit by mistake)?

Furthermore, last week, when Yaakov was still in Lavan’s house, why did he work so hard to ensure he had lots of animals, using the expression (30:30) “When can I make profits for myself?” Why was his thought not one of yesh li kol, I don’t need to worry about my livelihood, Hashem will look after me? Could there possibly be some kind of contradiction in Yaakov’s behaviour?!

There is a story told over of a Rav who was giving mussar to his community. He asked them what would happen if one would take all of the tefillos that their community had ever davened, and refined and concentrated them into one topic. His response shocked everyone. They had been davening for money, money and more money. The most shocking thing is, that it is quite true. Most of our tefillos are related to finance! What was the Rav getting at? Did he want them to stop davening altogether?! Surely not!

The Rav then continued, if you take all the money that this community has and worked out what it was used for, what

would you find?

Kashrus, chinuch, tzedaka, mitzvah after mitzvah after mitzvah. We need to understand, said this Rav, that when we daven, we understand what we are davening for.

Yes, as Yidden we need money to ensure we can live a good Torah lifestyle. However, when we ask Hashem for the money, we must realise we are not asking for money for its own sake, rather for the sake of the mitzvos it will enable us to do.

Leeds

When Yaakov said to Esav, yesh li kol, he meant that he had all his money for a purpose. One of the purposes of his money, he understood, was to ensure that Esav wouldn’t want to fight with him. When Esav said yesh li rav, he meant that he has a lot of money, but a lot is never enough. His money was for the sake of being wealthy.

In Koheles and in Avos we find how one can never have enough money. This is when one simply wants money in order to have money. Yaakov however, had money for a purpose. When he went back across the river Yabok, risking his life for some small utensils, he was showing that he understood that everything that Hashem gave him has a purpose. That purpose was certainly not in order to leave them behind. It was worthwhile risking his life to ensure he could fulfil the mitzvah that Hashem gave him these utensils for. Similarly, when he turned to Lavan and said he needs money for himself, he was not trying to make money, he was planning how to perform mitzvos later on. The money was a way to ensure he could do mitzvos throughout his later life. Yesh li kol does not simply mean I don’t care about my finances. Rather, it means I care very much about my finances. I care that they be used in the correct way, as I have them for a purpose, and I need to ensure that this purpose is fulfilled.

Please could you ensure that there are ample sheets left in shuls for Shabbos before taking one home -as there have been few left in shuls.

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