INFANT & TODDLER
How to Shape and Manage Your Young Child’s Behavior
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elping shape your children's behavior is a key part of being a parent. While at times it can be challenging, a few key principles can help. Modeling Behavior Children learn by watching everyone around them, especially their parents. When you use manners and good coping strategies, you teach your children to do the same. •
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Point out sharing among adults. Children often feel that they are the only ones who have to "use your manners," "share," and "take turns." So when adults share, point it out to your children: "Daddy is sharing his drink with Mommy. Good job sharing, Daddy!" Model good ways to calm down. Teach your children how to calm down when they are upset or frustrated. For example, if you are frustrated about sitting in traffic, you might say: "Mommy is really frustrated right now. Please help me calm down by taking 10 deep breaths with me." Teach children to say how they feel. If you are really frustrated, instead of saying, "You are driving me crazy right now", try to express your actual feelings: "Mommy is really frustrated right now." This teaches children to say what they feel instead of making critical or hurtful statements. Then help your children do this when they are upset. For example: "It looks like you are feeling sad."
If your guess about how they are feeling is not accurate, allow your children to correct you. Behavior + Attention = More Behavior If you are like most people, you'll leave your children alone if they are behaving well, but direct your attention to them when they’re misbehaving. This tends to backfire. The attention around the misbehavior actually increases the misbehavior as a way to get more attention from us! The best way to improve behavior is to give children a lot of attention when they are doing something you like and remove your attention
when they are doing something you do not like. An easy way to increase good behaviors is by describing their behaviors and praising them when they make a real effort. For example: "Good job listening the first time!" It can be hard to get in the habit of doing this, but it gets easier and easier as you do it. The Attention Meter When children get enough positive attention from you, they don't need to act out to get attention. Remember to fill your children up with plenty of love and affection throughout the day, every day. A very easy way to do this is to spend quality time with them. Playing with your children for just 5 minutes will go a long way, especially right after getting home from work or after an errand. When playing with your children, let them pick the toy and lead the play; don’t tell your children what to do or ask a lot of questions. Try instead to just describe what your children are doing ("You are working so hard to build a tall tower") and give praise ("Great job sitting so still while we are playing.") Another way to give attention to children for good behavior, yet not distract them while they are behaving, is to gently touch them in a loving way; for example, simply touch their shoulder or back. It is recommended you give children 50 to 100 brief loving touches every day. You can decrease bad behaviors by ignoring them, but this only works if you are giving your children lots of attention for their good behaviors. The simplest way to do this is through planned ignoring. Ignoring means not talking to, looking at, or touching your children when they are behaving badly. The key to ignoring is making sure to give your children positive attention as soon as the bad behavior stops, like saying: "You are quiet now; it looks like you are ready to play." It is important to not ignore unsafe behaviors that need immediate attention from you. j healthychildren.org
DECEMBER 2020 • Jax4Kids.com • Page 10
Episcopal Children’s Services Free Child Care Resource & Referral (904) 726-1500 • (800) 238-3463 www.ecs4kids.org Child Care Resource and Referral Services can help your family by providing: • A customized list of local child care options from our trained specialists. • Information about quality child care and early learning programs • Financial assistance strategies and opportunities • Referrals to other community resources and programs.
Things to Do Infant & Toddler
Pediatric Associates Virtual New Parent Class December 3, 7, 15, 6pm Designed specifically for expectant parents, the free virtual one-hour course covers numerous topics on preparing for your new arrival, such as your child's development, immunizations, breast vs bottle feeding, and more. Pediatric Associates / 954-966-8000 / www. pediatricassociates.com Little Movers and Shakers: Online Event Fridays, December 4, 11, 18, 10:30am to 11am This music-based program is for children from birth to pre-k and their families. Through books, songs, and movement activities children will build pre-literacy skills. Each week participants will use an instrument to sing a song and explore sounds and movement. Registration is required for this event, and must be completed two hours prior to the start time. A library card is required for registration. Attendance is limited to 40 participants. Your Zoom name must match your registration name for you to be admitted to the program. A link to the Zoom meeting room will be sent 1 hour prior to the event. Jacksonville Public Library / 904-255-2665 / JPLprograms@coj.net / jaxpubliclibrary.org MOSH Molecules December 5, 19, 9am The Museum of Science & History’s newest early
Early
Learning Coalition North Florida
Helping Children. Helping Families.
childhood program provides big learning for the youngest guests. Geared for children ages 3, 4 and 5, MOSH Molecules allows you and your child to explore and create memories in a safe environment. Classes are held every 1st and 3rd Saturday morning of the month each semester, with 8 children maximum per class. Classes are at 9am and 10:30am. Each month’s classes will be themed- Animals, Space, Science or Art. Program content may include any of the following: reading a book, completing a craft, physical activity, free play, hands on activity, songs and dance. Classes will last 45 minutes. The November 7 class will be Building Blocks, and the November 21 class will be Ice Cold. Museum of Science and History / 904-396-6674 / 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, FL 32207 / themosh.org Virtual Breastfeeding Class December 12, 12:30pm to 1:30pm The class is designed for parents that are planning to breastfeed or need support. Hosted by Certified Lactation Counselor, Tawanna Nottage, who is also a member of the Broward County Breastfeeding Coalition. The class will cover the following topics: How breastfeeding works, Getting the best start, Positions & latching on, How to tell if your baby is getting enough milk, Common challenges and how to overcome, and Breastfeeding support. The event is online, and is free. Pediatric Associates / 954-966-8000 / www. pediatricassociates.com
Visit Jax4Kids.com for a complete list Infant & Toddler Events.
DECEMBER 2020 • Jax4Kids.com • Page 11
