TRAVEL

THE BEST WAY TO EXPLORE PUERTO VALLARTA

Puerto Vallarta, with its glistening blue waters, vibrant and lush landscapes, and unlimited amounts of man candy is one of the world’s ultimate gay destinations.

There’s so much more to this city than the gay bars, gay beaches, gay pools and gay hotels. I know, I know. How could you possibly want to do anything besides hang out all day with boys in their Speedos while sipping margaritas and soaking up the tropical sun?

While the gay activities are certainly exciting and well worth experiencing, let’s gossip about other group activities you could consider to make the most of your Puerto Vallarta experience.

First, if you’re flying there via San Diego, consider using the Cross Border Xpress (CBX), a convenient 390-foot walkway on the U.S. border that leads directly into Tijuana International Airport. This allows you to go through Customs before you board your flight, so you can get off the plane and head directly into the city when you land anywhere in Mexico.

Built in 2015, the CBX is working on a 7,000-square-foot expansion that will include an enlarged processing area for U.S. Customs and Border Control, expected to be finished by the end of 2022. Also in the works are adding hotel rooms and increasing the parking. As of now, parking starts at $15 a day, with valet services starting at $30. You can also take advantage of the shuttle services to San Diego, San Ysidro, Los Angeles, Riverside, Fresno, Sacramento and Stockton.

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Since Puerto Vallarta is a domestic flight from Tijuana, the airfare-price decrease is worth looking into. $38 deals? That’s cheaper than filling up your car these days!

Once you have arrived in Puerto Vallarta, you’ll likely want to book your lodging at the Almar to stay at the gay hotel in the city and have immediate access to Mantamar, an adults-only gay beach club with a pool, Jacuzzis, and plenty of covered seating on the Los Muertos gay beach.

However, if you’d prefer to keep the party scene separate from where you lay your head at night, or you’re there to celebrate something special with your honey, consider looking into the Grand Miramar. This gorgeous, romantic 100-room hotel is carefully chiseled alongside the hill where it resides, and every suite comes with a porch and a sweeping ocean view. With an adults-only infinity pool on the rooftop, five restaurants, five other pools including one with a swim-up bar, and an incredible staff, this hotel permeates an electric atmosphere with an ethereal feeling. Relax in the spa, tone up at the gym, or meander and admire the ocean views you get around each corner. Round up your friends and split the 9,000-square-foot Presidential Suite, for a top-of-the-line experience. The options are limitless.

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Let’s talk about what you should do while you are on vacation.

We may try to watch our diets, but if you’re not prepared to eat and drink your way through Puerto Vallarta, you’re doing it all wrong.

While you’re in the Zona Romantica checking out all the hotties walking the streets, pop over to the Versalles neighborhood and visit Barrio Bistro Restaurant and La Lulu Raicilleria. Chef Memo Wulff has an incredible menu of Mexican dishes that you can pair with the Jalisco-made moonshine known as raicilla. The alcohol tastes like a blend of mezcal and tequila. It’s made from a specific agave and only produced in Puerto Vallarta’s home state. As a terroir-based spirit, the flavors vary based on the soil. About half of the raicilla is produced along the coast, with the rest made in the surrounding mountain ranges. A juicy raicilla cocktail coupled with a bone marrow and fried ant-egg taco? Talk about a truly unique pairing experience.

If yachts, open bars, private beaches and swimming with the sea life sounds more up your alley, $129 will get you a day out with

Vallarta Adventures on the Luxury Yacht and Snorkel Tour. The boat loads at 8 a.m., and the open bar commences as soon as you set sail. With a small breakfast and delicious lunch included, spend the day cruising around the Bay of Banderas in style with a constant flow of tequila (or your alcohol of choice) on deck. The first stop allows you to jump in the ocean and snorkel while feeding the fish. You may even get lucky and pass around an urchin, see an octopus, or have a fish the size of a cat swim near you. Just be mindful of the nearby rocks and you are totally good to go.

Next, the ship cruises over to Majahuitas Cove, a secluded beach that offers domestic beer and hammocks that can hold 10 people or more. The tour also comes with a photographer who documents the journey for you and takes awesome shots wherever you are. The ship returns to the dock in the early afternoon.

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That still leaves you plenty of time to plan your night. If you’re looking for more activities and food, you should totally drop $52 for the Street Taco Tour from Vallarta Food Tours. This epic tour takes you around the Zona Romantica and other nearby neighborhoods as you taste various street tacos and cocktails. The tour stops at brick-and-mortar restaurants, pop-up stands that been there for up to 40 years, and various combinations of the two throughout the eight locations. Make sure you come hungry. You’ll even get to experience an awesome churro stand hidden in an alley for a truly top notch for-the-locals experience.

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Another tour option would be anything from Vallarta 101. Between donation-based tours and all-inclusive paid options, this is another great way to experience and learn more about the city. Meander around the boardwalk, learn the history of the seahorse sculpture, visit the incredible Church of Our Lady Guadalupe cathedral, and prepare yourself to climb many stairs as you walk to the top of the lighthouse for a 360-degree view of the surrounding area. Take a stroll down a street featured in Herbie, visit the hotel where Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton conducted their scandalous affair, and peek into La Cappella, the only place in town that offers a bottomless gay brunch on Saturdays. Make your reservations immediately, since they book in a blink every week for that.

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For an unforgettable experience, go to Rhythms of the Night. This $149 ticket comes with a breathtaking show put together by the creators of Cirque du Soleil on a stage in the woods under the stars.

Another option through Vallarta Adventures, this excursion also includes a yacht ride across the Bay of Banderas with an open bar. This is a sunset tour, so it’s a great option for those who want something special for dinner. The yacht heads to another secluded beach, Las Caletas, that immediately sets the circus theme upon unloading. Torches line the walkway and people dressed in animal costumes sit on rocks to welcome you as a live band creates a personalized soundtrack. The firelit pathway leads you to the first event of the night: the food. Enjoy a buffet and a continuation of that open bar. Eat, drink and be merry as the sun sets for the night.

Once it’s dark, follow the drumbeats into the bamboo. You go deeper into the forest before you get to the amphitheatre for the show, which is centered around the Aztec story of creation and the rituals humans have gone through to stay alive throughout the centuries. This is a heartpounding and exhilarating event that should be the first thing on your list to fit into your budget. If you’re lucky, you’ll even get a separate show from the boat crew on the way back, who may have sipped on a tequila or two during the outing. But none of this really masks the true reason most of us go to Puerto Vallarta: the boys. I mean. vallarta-adventures.com/en/

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If we were to talk about a gay paradise on Earth, between the beauty of the location matched with the best of the best found on the dating apps strutting around, it is just a buffet of hotties. The gay scene is eclectic, alive, inclusive and welcoming of everybody. The bars in Zona Romantica are always packed. Events like Pride and Bear Week leave no room to move about freely with every type of man anywhere you look.

Whether you’re heading to Puerto Vallarta for Pride next month or planning a visit whenever you want to, there’s always an experience here you’ll never forget. Even if you rented a little shack on the stairs leading up to the lighthouse, every corner of this city feels like magic, and it’s hard to believe any part of it actually exists.

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