TheModernJan2013V2N2

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January 2013 • Vol. 2, No. 2 www.themodern.us

your life in retro

Our Tie Issue!

We Tie One On With

Jay Mohr!

Whole Lotta Led Zep Note to Self: Wang Chung Tonight Alec Baldwin on SNL Susanna Hoffs’ Eternal Flame

Electronic Football • Salem Museum • ’82 Camaro

c ntents T h e M o d e r n — Y o u r l i f e i n r e t r o

In this issue:

Headliner

Whole Lotta Led Zeppelin Every burnout’s favorite band rambles on.

The Ties that Bind

Wang Chung How Wang Chung became a verb.

Girlie Action Cover Story

Jay Mohr

The beloved funnyman now rocks a powerful podcast.

Susanna Hoffs

The stunning Bangle now earns raves over retro.

Photo Essay

Fit to be tied — hip to be square. The ties that bind — we take a look at ties.

The Great Forgotten

Wish You Were Here

Skinny Tie Songs: From the era when ties lost width but gained total awesomeness.

The Salem Toy Museum: The trip to baby boomer heaven takes you there and brings you back.

Modern Sports

Dig This DVD

Where the Kids Are: Video games water down the real thing.

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Alec Baldwin.

It’s only the beginning of Baldwin’s surprisingly awesome comedic talents.

Model Citizens

We’re lovin’ on you, but what are you lovin’ on?

Retro Merch

Mattel Handheld Football Game: This prototype gaming obsession was a pocketful of miracles.

Parting Shot: Neil Sedaka shimmies and shakes in the New Year with a comprehensive overview of what makes the year worth living.

Watch the people who people are watching.

RETR

A CTI VE

Jeff Dye

Jay Mohr

Desiree Dymond

Don Gator

Yaniv Rokah

Jackie Stewart

Tell us about your retro passions, Jeff. We’re listening!

Modern model mom.

Baby Maya too.

JayJay, you make us laugh, kid.

Dennis Hirdt channels superspy Don Gator.

p r e s e n t e d I n C o lo r

Simply click on the TVs to screen these joints!

From Israel to Santa Monica barista to webseries star.

Girlfriend’s all about it.

letter from the editor

The Newlywed Game, 1915 These are my great-grandparents, after agreeing to take the Big Leap and hitch up in 1915. For a living, he made luggage; she made with the pots and pans. They had three children and spent their entire lives in Philadelphia. He would die in the 1950s; she would survive almost forever, until 1984.

They didn’t plan it the way it happened, but they were about to take quite a rollicking roller-coaster ride: what we now call the 20th century.

She went from scrubbing clothes on a washboard to pushing buttons on a Maytag. His artisanship grew in demand as Philadelphians needed his suitcases to travel to exotic, faraway places like Atlantic City and the Poconos (later Miami and Cancun).

From what I heard about him, he liked excitement. When he would hear a fire engine or a police siren, he would leap outside and run down the street to catch the action. She liked stories; soap operas, more specifically, and over the decades she followed them from radio to television. All of that manufactured heartache and dramatic dread was always better with organ music. And better by script than in reality.

Their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren played out the rest of The American Dream, following the simple instructions and milking the comforting clichés. It’s never perfect, but the stories of families in America are always a beautiful thing. They fascinate forever.

Like we all do, I fantasize about traveling back to 1915 and giving them the 411 on what was to happen. If they put a man on the moon, they can surely develop and market time travel, and I’m never giving up hope on that one. As well, time travel would be a great market niche for my great-grandfather’s luggage biz.

However, when the time finally comes to revisit

them and give them the update, I hope I can tell them that the American Dream is still alive and well in the 21st century, and that their great-great grandchildren (and beyond) will have the same opportunities and beautiful freedom that they had. Surely, we are facing hard times, like fiscal cliffs and double dips. But, as always, we Americans lug a suitcase full of sunshine and smiles. We’s light on our feets. Ain’t nothing stopping us from traveling down the road.

Ron Sklar Editor

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Contributing Writers: Mitch Gainsburg • Jay S. Jacobs Jack Rotoli • William Shultz • Art Wilson

Editor • Ron Sklar Art Director • Jennifer Barlow Copy Editors • Patty Wall, Jay S. Jacobs

Director of Photography and Video Harley Reinhardt • Harleyhallphotography.com Video Editor • Rich Kortz

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BIG Issues.

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cover story

! r h Mo

Mohr!

Mohr!

(How do you like it?

How do you like it?)

The beloved funnyman now rocks a powerful podcast.

One person not caught up in the Charlie Sheen hoopla is comedian/actor Jay Mohr. In fact, Sheen, sober, sane and coherent, chilled uncharacteristically with the put-it-there-pal Mohr, who has a gift of bringing out the best in people. The two shared the shit on the highly downloaded podcast Mohr Stories, which Jay Mohr hosts.

Mohr tells me, “I think Charlie opened up with me because for the first time in a decade, somebody was really asking him detailed questions about things that he had acted in. I needed to know about Platoon. I needed to know about Wall Street. I needed to know about his relationship with Jim Abrahams on Hot Shots. We both wanted to talk about Apocalypse Now, and then the conversation took a turn toward great Oscar snubs (of which Sheen’s father, Martin, was one

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R o n a l d

S k l a r www.themodern.us

for Apocalypse Now).”

Amazingly, the conversation continued to take breathtaking turns, drawing us in deeper and deeper, as good podcasts are able to do. Podcasts are new, but they mark the return of the art of conversation, and Mohr knows how to hold one with the best of them. Sheen indulged in his passion for baseball trivia, at one point even showing Mohr his prized Babe Ruth autographed baseball. Sheen hadn’t seemed this animated in a long time, in a way that wouldn’t make headlines.

Mohr says, “I think sports and film are interrelated in the passion they inspire in others and when you get a good conversation going.

So you go down this rabbit

He ducked and rolled into the cutthroat world of standup just in time for the great migration to Hollywood, when every comedian was being considered as the next Seinfeld.

“I got in right under the curtain closing of the late Eighties comedy boom,” he says. “I was just tall enough to ride that ride. I rode to Buffalo for $50, and I knew it was costing me $150, but I had to go show people in Buffalo because maybe they will invite me back to headline another time.”

His future shuffle to Buffalo would have to wait.

Before not very long at all, he was featured on Saturday Night Live (1993-1995) and he played the sitcom brother on season one of The Jeff Foxworthy Show. Then, if you can believe it hadn’t happened yet, came The Big Break.

“

One thing I’ve always wished I

could change about myself is my inability to just stop talking. They told me that since I was in first grade. I always got thrown out of class because I

”

wouldn’t stop talking.

hole with sports and movies.”

The rabbit hole in which Mohr travels sports quite a ride. The New Jersey native began his long stand-up life while still baby-faced and in high school, back in the late Eighties. During those hungry years, he formed The Persona.

“The crutch was that I was so young and that I really looked young,” he says, “which bred a complete inferiority complex, I’m sure, which is why I probably have always been so aggressive.” www.themodern.us

Jay Mohr

Mohr explains, “Cameron Crowe called me on the set of The Jeff Foxworthy Show and said, ‘What are you doing for the next three months?’ I thought, ‘I’m going to be the biggest star in the world. This is it. I am on my way.’”

The classic role of sleazy agent Bob Sugar in Jerry Maguire drop-kicked Mohr higher into the beautiful sky. The film, released at the end of 1996, opened at #1 and eventually grossed over $273 million worldwide.

Immediately following came the romantic comedy Picture Perfect, where Mohr played against 1997’s most recognizable woman, Jennifer Aniston.

Forget Aniston — what was it like to see yourself up there on the big screen?

“It’s almost seems entirely too short,” he says. “It always seems entirely too brief. I’m a showoff. I’m a comic. I like the parts with me in it the most.”

You’ve got to give him that, since he earned every second of screen time he’s clocked.

January 2013 | The Modern

cover story

“I come from a family that worked their balls off,” he says. “I grew up in very middle-class, Italian-Catholic/ Irish-Catholic New Jersey. Every pair of socks in that sock drawer you earned. Nothing you have was ever handed to you. You worked for ten years to put a six-foot deck in the back of your house. That was your reward.”

As the millennium turned, Fox offered him the groundbreaking series Action, in which he played an über-aggressive Hollywood producer Peter Dragon. The series had “classic” written all over it, but many critics decreed “too inside!”

“It was ahead of its time,” Mohr says. “It may have behooved Fox to try it on another night instead of simply canceling it.”

Eventually, as the digital age took hold of audiences and sent them scattering and fractioning, Mohr went for what he does best.

“I have only one discernible skill,” he says, “and it’s talking. One thing I’ve always wished I could change about myself is my inability to just stop talking. They told me that since I was in first grade. I always got thrown out of class because I wouldn’t stop talking.”

If only those teachers could see him now, hosting one of the most downloaded podcasts on the planet. His Mohr Stories features his brand of banter-with-the-buddies, along with a heapin’ helpin’ of his brilliant mimicry (his

impressions of Colin Quinn, Norm MacDonald, Woody Allen and Christopher Walken, among others, must not be missed). He also banters with the likes of Jay Leno, The Black Crowes, fellow podcast king Adam Carolla, and even former death-row inmate Damien Echols.

“I do pride myself on the positivity of the podcast,” he says. “I’m not really ball washing as much as you may think.”

The conversations are at the very least compelling, especially the can’t-miss one-on-one with former boxer Ray Mancini, who discusses the accidental death of his challenger, South Korean boxer Duk Koo Kim, in 1982. The incident, which was one big sucker punch in the history of sports, spiraled Mancini into a deep depression, which he has battled ever since.

Mohr says, “What’s amazing to me about the Ray Mancini interview is when he cries. He cries at the memory of his mother icing his hand. It blew me away. People don’t realize that Ray Mancini retired at 24. That’s when guys start in boxing. They nurse you along until you go pro. He had a lot left. He left a lot on the table. But when your hands end someone’s life, it sort of takes that out of you. I’m talking to a man who has killed someone, and now this word has more import than it has ever had.”

For Mohr, the alpha and the omega is the late George Carlin. (“He was pretty obsessive-compulsive about his act being perfectly timed.”) Another comedy hero of his is unlikely: his beautiful wife, Nikki Cox, late of the series Las Vegas.

“She’s funnier than any writer that I had write things for me,” he says. “She’s much more dada than I am. My standup is at least half her writing. She’ll actually hand me pieces of paper on an airplane while I’m sleeping.

She’ll write things that I never would have thought of.”

Long trip, and in many ways, just beginning. New man, making fresh with the old tricks. But a Mohr Stories podcast promises big humor with a dash of reflection.

You’re listening to a man who has been around the block and lived to tell the tale. And, he admits, he is still learning when to keep his think-quick mouth shut.

He says, “It takes a long time to stand there and simply be comfortable in the quiet.”

Listen to Mohr Stories for free! Go to https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mohr-stories-fakemustache.com/id448795390

http://www.jaymohr.com/mohr-stories.php The Modern | January 2013

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How difficult was it to give Someday a retro vibe and still make it feel contemporary?

We wanted to make a modern-sounding Sixties record. It became the theme. It was undeniable that the Sixties have been a big influence on me. No matter what I do, it just seems to come through. It wasn’t like I thought: I’m going to make a Sixties-sounding record. The reality is that it’s my touchstone for everything. It just is. It’s what I get the most excited about, thinking about those songs and how they inspired me to want to be an artist in the first place. I still look to those recordings as the highest bar of what I strive to get to emotionally.

girlie action

Susanna Hoffs The stunning Bangle earns raves over retro.

Susanna Hoffs became a huge star in the Eighties as a leader of the Bangles, but her musical heart was always stuck in the Sixties. Her acclaimed multi-platinum band’s hit singles always had a jangly retro feel. She has done a ton of work over the years celebrating her love of classic pop and rock. Hoffs’ latest solo album, Someday, is a love letter to the music of the Sixties and is garnering some of the most ecstatic reviews of her career. She recently gave us a call to discuss her new solo album, her band and her influences. b y

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Who were some of the acts that inspired you to do these songs?

The thing that really brought the Bangles together was mutual love for The Beatles. That will always be true for everything I do. In the case of this record, I was channeling a bit more of my inspiration from the female vocalists that I grew up listening to, who became my vocal teachers as a little kid. Dusty Springfield. Dionne Warwick, my mom had all of those records of her singing the Burt Bacharach/Hal David songs. Then Linda Ronstadt, Lulu and Petula Clark. Those voices. Diana Ross and the ­Supremes. Those were the people that I was singing along with. Joni Mitchell and Bonnie Raitt in the Seventies. But, really those girl singers of the Sixties were the ones that really caught my ear as a kid.

What was the first record you ever bought?

Either Carole King’s Tapestry, James Taylor’s Sweet Baby James or [Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s] Déjà Vu. What was the first concert you ever saw?

That’s an odd thing. My parents and I wandered into the Troubadour [in LA] when Judy Collins was playing.

My mom says she took me to see Donovan at the Hollywood Bowl, but I don’t remember it. I do remember we were eating at Santana’s and we just wandered in and Judy Collins was playing. That was one of those records my mom played constantly during the Sixties.

What do you think of the current state of the music business? The label system is obviously broken. Do you think that a band like The Bangles could have gotten an audience in this atmosphere?

Wow. I don’t know. The Bangles were so much a part of the Eighties and the culture of the Eighties — MTV and being on the label that we were on. The Bangles were a very determined group of women, so I think that we would have had some kind of career. I don’t know if it would have ended up the way that it did, if we would have had quite the exposure. We had records that were played on Top 40 radio and videos on MTV, where people heard or saw music in that time period. But, we were a hard working little club band for years.

January 2013 | The Modern

photo essay

Fit to be tied

— hip to be square What’s the matter with the clothes I’m wearing?

Can’t you tell that your tie’s too wide?

You don’t see as many of them as you used to, but they are still here to stay. They remain a mark of formality, of responsibility and respect. They’re worn at weddings, funerals, and to the office (although not as enforced as they once were). Sometimes they’re part of a uniform. Children and nerds, when they must wear one, use clip ons. In 1977, Diane Keaton wore one in Annie Hall and started a fashion revolution.

They are also worn as membership to exclusive clubs and private schools. They always mean business. They get noticed.

They’re pure symbol.

By Ronald Sklar Photography: Harley Reinhardt Harleyhallphotography.com

Ties demonstrated by Jay Mohr

The Modern | January 2013

photo essay

In the 1940s and 1950s, ties were required almost everywhere. They were even worn when just chillaxing.

The 1960s introduced skinny ties to the culture, a reflection of Kennedy’s Camelot.

They mirrored men of youth and vigor.

photo essay

In the 1970s, ties got wide and wild. This reflected the tumultuous culture, which uneasily divided itself between rebellion and tradition. Robert Reed, portraying Mike Brady on The Brady Bunch, is the most notable example of this, and he alone carries the burden of this short-lived fad.

photo essay

In the 1980s, ties were presented in an ironic way. Bands, some of them considered “new wave,” would wear them as artistic statements. (“We’re rebellious, and we’re reinforcing this nature by wearing the most conservative and traditional symbol of fashion. This paradox will blow your mind.”)

Today, take your pick, as Jay Mohr illustrates.

For more incredible ties of every era, visit our favorite vintage tie shop, called Crazy4Cravats:

www.etsy.com/shop/Crazy4Cravats

the ties that bind

Everybody Wang Chung Tonight Wang Chung’s Jack Hues explains how his band became a verb.

By Jay S. Jacobs Look in The Urban Dictionary and you’ll find this definition: “wang chung — going out and having fun, in a vague, undefined kind of way (since no one ever knew what ‘Everybody Wang Chung Tonight’ meant, exactly).”

There you have it. Plenty of pop bands have written their names into the pop charts, and a lucky few have found their names reaching the highest strata of rock stardom. But how many, really, have become a widely recognized slang term?

It came from the band’s biggest hit (but don’t call them one-hit wonders, please). “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” topped the American charts in 1986. The use of the band’s name as a verb had everybody Wang Chunging and inadvertently immortalized the band for posterity.

While that was their biggest hit, Wang Chung had a run of smashes in the Eighties. These included the arty-synth-pop of “Dance Hall Days,” the pure catchiness of “Hypnotize Me” and “Let’s Go” and the soundtrack hits “Fire in the Twilight” (from The Breakfast Club) and the title track from To Live and Die in LA. The Modern | January 2013

The two constant members of Wang Chung — lead singer Jack Hues and bassist Nick Feldman — played together on and off for decades. They’ve reunited and have come up with their first new album since 1989, called Tazer Up! Lead singer Jack Hues recently gave me a call from his British home to discuss his career, band and newest album.

When you wrote “Everybody Have Fun Tonight,” did you have any idea it would last as long as it has?

Certainly not that it would last as long as this. We were quite intent on having a number one record, but you can’t design that sort of thing. The album before was To Live and Die in LA, the movie soundtrack, and that had not been a commercial success. We’d hit a bit of a crossroads. We can go on making these arty records and get dropped, or we can take seriously the idea of a number one record. We wanted that for “Everybody Have Fun Tonight.” Of course, wanting it and getting it are two completely different things.

It still shows up on movies and adverts. People still seem to want to hear it.

The song also made you a pop culture catch phrase because you decided to use the band’s name as a verb.

Did you have any idea that it would generate so much response?

It was a throwaway adlib that I did on the demo.

The original demo was quite slow. I’ve always loved The Beatles’ “Hey Jude” and the long fade out. [The demo of] “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” was like that. “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight” came in on that. We offered it to Peter Wolf, the producer. He said, “Oh, that’s a great line! You’ve got to use that in the chorus.” It worked out well.

Some of your other singles — like “Hypnotize Me,” “To Live and Die in LA,” “Let’s Go” and “Fire in the Twilight” — are not as well remembered. When performing live, do you find that people forgot how many songs they like, beyond “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” and “Dance Hall Days”?

We did three years of touring [with New Wave bands such as ABC, Berlin, Cutting Crew and Misswww.themodern.us

ing Persons] in the States.

People would come up to us afterwards and say, “We weren’t coming here to see you guys, but we couldn’t believe how many powerful songs you had done.”

Practically all the songs were MTV hits. We were very lucky to be around in the Eighties. There was a lot of radio and MTV was new and fresh. Geffen was great and really worked us hard. We’re in the consciousness now.

Looking back, were you ready for the attention?

Nick and I both continued to live in the UK, although we spent a lot of time in the States. It was quite a good situation in that we could go to the States to do the tours and then when our promotional duties were done, come back to the UK. In the UK these records weren’t hits at all. Geffen didn’t promote them in the UK. We were pretty anonymous here. We got the best of both worlds.

“

It has been over 20 years since the band released an album. How does it feel to get Tazer Up! out?

It’s brilliant, it really is. We’re doing the album as a digital release. Being old-fashioned, I still crave holding something in my hand. On the other hand, I get that the way things are these days. It really is different to get stuff out. You can just put everything out there, especially recorded stuff. See who comes knocking on the door. Back in the Eighties, the live work, I didn’t used to enjoy it too much. I found it a strain. I found it stressful. Now I love it. I love the fact that I can do the jazz parts and I’ve really gotten into playing the guitar. It really has renewed my interest in all of that. So, it feels good to get new music out.

How challenging was making the album feel current while staying faithful to the traditional Wang Chung sound?

That was very much what we wanted to do. We didn’t want to just make an Eighties record in the www.themodern.us

Back in the Eighties, the live work, I didn’t used to enjoy it too much.

I found it a strain. I found it stressful.

”

Now I love it.

Jack Hues

sense that it had just drum machines, synths and guitars. With Wang Chung, we do have an identifiable sound. It’s partly to do with my voice, partly to do with the way Nick and I write and some of the influences that we have. I’m happy that when a lot of people hear this, they go, “Wow, that’s a proper Wang Chung record.”

Seriously, everybody wang chung tonight right here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXu6QmxpJE

January 2013 | The Modern

the great forgotten

Skinny tie songs

From the era when ties lost width but gained total awesomeness.

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Music and fashion have always walked hand-in-hand, from the Paisley Underground to Glam Rock to Hair Metal to Grunge. Arguably the musical genre most clearly defined by its fashion label was Skinny Tie music, hard-edged power pop which gave birth to the whole New Wave movement of the Eighties. Here are some skinny tie classics.

“Love is the Drug” — Roxy Music

Though David Bowie is often given credit for starting the skinny tie look in rock, it was actually well-known fashion plate Bryan Ferry of Roxy Music who kick-started the look. While Roxy Music was never nearly as big in the US as they were in Europe (this song was their only US Top-40 hit), they paved the road for the entire New Romantic movement. And Ferry made it okay for a rock star to be styling again. www.youtube.com/embed/0n3OepDn5GU

“Just What I Needed” — The Cars

While much of the skinny tie movement sprang up in England, the Cars were one of the first US groups to introduce the sound. The Boston-based band exploded out of the blocks with this 1978 smash which hot-wired the sound and made the Cars one of the biggest American bands of the Eighties. www.youtube.com/embed/TsPh-EgH65M

“Watching the Detectives” — Elvis Costello and the Attractions

Warren Goldswain/ Shutterstock.com

Arguably the figurehead of the skinny tie troops, Elvis Costello pretty much introduced British alternative pop punk to suburban America. Costello had so many classic songs in the late Seventies and early Eighties that is hard to cut it down to just one tune, but this cod-reggae classic was the first one that turned heads across the pond. www.youtube.com/embed/Sed8IjdXdGk

“Cruel To Be Kind” — Nick Lowe

In the US, Nick Lowe is mostly remembered for his work as a writer/producer for early Elvis Costello songs or his membership in the one-off New Wave supergroup Rockpile, but he had a long, fascinating solo career as well. His one US hit was this nearperfect power pop tale of a severely dysfunctional

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relationship. The video was one of the first shown on MTV and co-starred his wife Carlene Carter and Rockpile bandmate Dave Edmunds as the chauffeur. www.youtube.com/embed/w1lof5Ho1Jw

“Cars” — Gary Numan

Yet another skinny tie singer who became an icon over the decades in his native England, but is considered a one-hit wonder in the States. But, what a hit!

“Cars” was a shock to the system for Seventies radio, a funky electronic ode to modern youth that sounded nothing like any of the arena rock, country and disco songs surrounding it in the top 40. www.youtube.com/embed/Ldyx3KHOFXw

“Is She Really Going Out With Him?” — Joe Jackson

In Joe Jackson’s career — which is still going almost 35 years after this first hit was recorded — the only constant is that he tries on musical and fashion styles with abandon, often totally changing his sound from album to album. On his first album Look Sharp, he was in full skinny-tie mode, and broke out big with this pissed-off ode to the confounding romantic tastes of women. www.youtube.com/embed/6SPogGqCgeM

“Escalator of Life” — Robert Hazard and the Heroes

Outside of the eastern seaboard, or more specifically the Philadelphia metro area, Robert Hazard is only known — if he is known at all — for writing Cyndi Lauper’s huge hit single “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” But in Philly (and to a lesser extent in New York and Washington) he was a huge star in the early Eighties. His independently released Robert Hazard and the Heroes EP sold hundreds of thousands of copies in the Philly area alone. When it was re-released nationally by Columbia Records in 1983, January 2013 | The Modern

the great forgotten his backing band the Heroes were written off and his biggest hit, “Escalator of Life,” didn’t quite make the top 40. (The even better follow-up “Change Reaction” ended up bubbling under the hot 100.) However, Hazard, who died way too young a few years ago, was an underrated talent and one of the best skinny tie rockers of his era. www.youtube.com/embed/1e-Zevnfhhw

“Good Girls Don’t” — The Knack

The musical world is full of the wreckage of bands who were given the designation “the next Beatles.”

The Knack’s rocket ride was bumpier than most. Their debut album Get the Knack was the teen accessory of 1979 and their first single “My Sharona” topped the charts. This follow-up, which is an even better song, quickly followed that song into the top 10. The horny

before they were stars

Christopher Kutcher at the IMTA On a lark, Chris Kutcher enters the International Models and Talent Association contest and guess what happens? The University of Iowa student and Cedar Rapids native goes from catwalk to cakewalk in no time flat. Oh, and he drops his first name for his middle name (namely Ashton). And he was never heard from again.

and wonderful look at young lust was pretty racy for the time. The line “She makes you want to scream, wishing you could get inside her pants” had to be changed to “She makes you want to scream, wishing she was giving you a chance” in order to get radio airplay. And after these auspicious opening shots... nothing. They only barely scraped the top 40 once more, with the 1981 single “Baby Talks Dirty” and then The Knack was mostly forgotten until a midNineties resurrection. www.youtube.com/embed/Sc4l5EpCMEc

“Pop Muzik” — M

M’s “Pop Muzik” is so eccentric that it is hard to remember how gobsmackingly new it sounded when stormed up the charts in 1979. The song was meant to be a broadly kitschy dissection of all that was shallow in pop music. Mission accomplished. It was the kind of performance art that is nearly impossible to follow up, but for one glorious song, M ruled. www.youtube.com/embed/gPoiv0sZ4s4

“Starry Eyes” — The Records

AllMusic.com refers to this mostly forgotten single as “a near-perfect song that defined British power pop in the Seventies.” That pretty much says it all. www.youtube.com/embed/i8-tYFRF9A0

“Driver’s Seat” — Sniff and the Tears

Sniff and the Tears was the one-hit-wonder band led by singer/songwriter Paul Roberts, who later took advantage of his skinny tie fashion sense to become a noted painter. Despite the title, the song is not about cars, but about the conflicted feelings that follow a break-up. www.youtube.com/embed/Jr4wGFJrSss

“Our Lips Are Sealed” — Fun Boy Three

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4Pwu6D3nV4 The Modern | January 2013

Terry Hall, formerly lead singer of the Specials, co-wrote this song with a young guitarist named Jane Wiedlin who was in the midst of recording the first album with her band. The two had a short-lived affair that was over long before their musical coupling bore fruit. The song became an upbeat chart-topper for the Go-Go’s in 1981, making Wiedlin’s girl group into stars, Two years later, after Hall had broken from the Specials, he revisited the song with his next band.

Hall’s version of the song was much more downbeat than his ex’s take on the tune, in fact it almost sounds like it is being sung by a group of Tibetan monks. www.youtube.com/embed/lDw1_dGok9Y www.themodern.us

modern sports

Where the Kids Are

By Mitch Gainsburg It’s 3:30 in the afternoon as I drive the streets of my neighborhood. I don’t see or hear kids playing. No football, basketball or even a game we used to call tag. Where are the kids? What are they doing? I think I’m afraid to ask, because I think I might already know.

Video games, in a chair, with a big bag of chips. Madden, NHL 2013, Halo ­— just to name a few. That’s where the kids are. This is where they exercise and develop eye-tofinger coordination. I can’t remember when I last saw a street hockey game or was asked to steady-quarterback a touch game — something I use to love doing with the kids on the block.

“Let’s pick teams!” would echo in the street, as well as “I’ll take Jimmy and you get the next two,” and “we’ll shoot fouls for first pick.” These were the sights and sound of kids playing the streets, playing the sports they love. Not anymore, and you can see the trickle-down results in the ability of the young athlete. Today’s kids would rather control Peyton

Manning than be him.

I do think the video games are fantastic and give you the virtual feeling of playing. I myself enjoy a videogame now and then. I also realize that there needs to be a time set aside to interact and mingle with people, and live.

We watch our pro athletes and sometimes we wonder how they got there. But the talent pool is saturated with mediocre players. It’s all part of the trickle-down effects of kids not being active enough or even interested in the effort needed to be a great athlete.

If we don’t get our youth back outside, out of those chip-and-dip chairs, off the computer and away from Madden 2012, then we will be watching our favorite professional sports performed by overweight, uninterested introverts unable to give an interview.

Mitch Gainsburg (aka. Cashy the King) hosts the Sports Goombah radio show and webcast.

Listen here: www.sgshow.net

Vasaleks / Shutterstock.com

Video Games Water Down the Real Thing

retro quiz

Roger Maris

Reluctant hero/reviled contender for Babe Ruth’s record, the man is now an American icon.

By William Shultz 1. What teams did Roger Maris play for in his career?

2. What year did he break Babe Ruth’s record?

3. Why did the commissioner of baseball consider having an asterisk placed next to his record?

5. How many times did he win the MVP and what year(s)?

1. Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Athletics, New York Yankees and St. Louis Cardinals. 2. 1961. 3. He managed the feat in 162 games instead of 154 games. 4. 275. 5. Two ­— 1960 and 1961.

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January 2013 | The Modern

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4. How many home runs did he hit in his career?

headliners

Whole Lotta Led Zeppelin Every burnout’s favorite band rambles on.

by Jay S. Jacobs If you’re a music journalist, you’re going to jump at the opportunity to see the three surviving members of the legendary (and legendarily squabbling) rock group Led Zeppelin together on the same stage. Even if you are not the band’s biggest fan (and I can’t claim that I am), this may just be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see one of the most storied bands in rock-and-roll history.

After all, the three surviving original members have only played together three times in the thirty-plus years since the band disbanded. That count begins after original drummer John Bonham died of an overdose in 1980.

Therefore, it was quite a shock in 2007 when Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Bonham’s

The Modern | January 2013

drumming son, Jason, agreed to do a one-off full concert in London as a tribute to Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun. The rock pioneer had recently died after falling backstage at a Rolling Stones show. The tribute event, at London’s O2 Arena, quickly became the hottest ticket of the millennium — 20 million people entered a lottery for 18,000 show tickets.

Six years later, that show — rechristened Celebration Day — had a short theatrical release before being let loose on CD and Blu-ray. To celebrate this release, the four members did two press conferences together, one in London and one at New York’s Museum of Modern Art Film Center.

“When we were kids in England, we were really avid music lovers and vinyl junkies,” Robert Plant said. “The greatest thing on the planet was be to signed to Atlantic Records for British people. The integrity and the roster

of Atlantic music was phenomenal. Taking that first alally too fawning, leaving the band with little to say but bum home with an Atlantic label on it and showing it to thanks. your friends, it didn’t really matter what happened after One journalist was able to get Plant to open up a that. Everybody hated you for getting that far. Ahmet tiny bit on the idea working together again, simply by was a personality as well as an absolute music lover. He not asking about it. was a seer in many respects. Everybody’s got a different “I think that night… we were so happy we were getstory about him and I don’t think we’re going to tell you ting it right and enjoying it,” Plant said. “There were any of them. But it was great. You could have a wondermoments where we just took off and went to another ful time with him, talking about anything place. The responsibility of doing that from Coltrane and Modern Jazz Quartet four nights a week for the rest of time through to Ratt and White Lion.” is a different thing. We’re pretty good “The other night I went to the Beacon at what we do, but the tail should never “[John Theater to see [French singer] Johnny wag the dog. If we’re capable of doing Hallyday,” Jimmy Page continued. “It something in our own time, then that Bonham] said will be what will happen.” dawned on me ­— of course ­— that was where Ahmet had the accident. The feelPlant was occasionally a bit goofy, to me, ing was really strong, actually.” musing about how one of the journalIt was a rather surreal experience to ists had used to be a massage therapist see the four of them up on stage. They ‘you’re not very he had used, at another point calling a basically seemed to be getting on well. questioner a schmuck. Plant also shared There were no real snipes at each other a nostalgic memory of their legendgood, Planty. like when John Paul Jones suggested in ary late drummer from the band’s London that he was glad the other two early years. “[John Bonham] said to me Just go out found his number this time around, an ‘you’re not very good, Planty. Just go out obvious shot at the others for famously there and look good.’ And he was right.” there and look excluding him from the Unledded album Page was sage and slightly inscrutaand tour. ble. “We had a really good communion Now, though, they were simply happy good.’ And he on the night of the 02,” he said. with the show and excited to share the exJones was the most down to earth perience with the rest of the world — all of the three, humorously pointing out was right.” the people who lost out on the lottery. that he enjoyed playing “Kashmir” so “I just wanted to impress my mates that he could sit down a bit in the show. here, my dad’s friends,” Jason Bonham “There’s an immediate sense of relief said. that we actually got through it and did Plant agreed. He said, “Just like Jason, well,” Jones admitted. “I don’t know, I I was amazed I was there playing with Led Zeppelin. I didn’t feel much after that, to be honest. It was kind of had made a couple of errors and had to shut up instead numbing.” of doing too much. I think that was my favorite part of Young Bonham seemed like a huge fan, almost as the show, to be honest. It was a great experience, flying awed by the other three members of his group as the by the seat of your pants. These guys did such a great crowd was. “There were lots of moments where I kept job. Very exciting. Great light show, too.” saying ‘I’m playing drums for Led Zeppelin.’ This really “It was something we’ve always known how to do, to is something very special. Something that I dreamed be honest,” John Paul Jones continued. “It was just a about all my life, in a strange way.” matter of getting back to that point again.”

In that same strange way, thirty years disappeared in However, just because they were all on the same a wink. The members of Led Zeppelin have moved on page doesn’t mean that it was all roses. A few differto different interesting careers. However, it’s also nice ent radio personalities tried to ask the band about reto know they can go home again. Led Zeppelin proved uniting — and the band flatly refused to answer. There that even as aging lions, they still had the goods to rock was complete silence. It got so uncomfortable that on an arena; it was just that they choose not to on a regular the third time the question came up, one of the other basis. Oh, sure, they had to admit, there was some difjournalists in the crowd came to the band’s defense and ferences from the old days. Plant captured that most yelled out angrily to the questioner, “It’s been answered succinctly when he admitted, “I used to be better looka million times, sir!” Other questions were occasioning than this.” www.themodern.us

The Modern | January 2013

model citizens

We’re lovin’ on you, but what are you lovin’ on?

Ana Leigh Hometown: Tega Cay, SC Favorite old movie: 28 Days Later Favorite old TV show: Seinfeld Favorite old song: “Teenage Wasteland” (aka “Baba O’Riley” by The Who) Favorite actress: Meryl Streep Words to live by: “Be the change you want to see in the world”

Ana Leigh courtesy of Agency Rouge Miami

The Modern | January 2013

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Fernando Hometown: Leopoldina in the state of Minas Gerais, Brazil Favorite old movie: Wall Street Favorite old TV show: Friends Favorite old song: “ Theme from New York, New York” by Frank Sinatra Favorite actress: Meryl Streep Words to live by: The four D’s that my mother taught me: determination, dedication, discipline and development.

Fernando courtesy of Agency Rouge Miami

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January 2013 | The Modern

modern tech

Adventures in Modern Sound

By Art Wilson In 1969, after the Army and Vietnam, I returned to Philadelphia and enrolled in a graduate teaching program at Temple University. Part of this agenda involved teaching science full-time at Cherry Hill High School East in New Jersey. I moved into a high-rise apartment in the adjoining town.

I had a student in a ninth-grade general science class, Eric, who already was reputed as an artist, dabbling in animation. He drew a caricature of me (on notebook paper), as I’m holding a test tube. He dated it, captioned my name, and signed it. I still have that picture and treasure it. Eric has since become a principal animator and film director at Disney.

In the 1960s and 70s, Cherry Hill, NJ was an entertainment capital, anchored by the world-class Latin Casino night club, which was across the road from the Garden State Park racetrack.

Many other smaller night spots, restaurants, and diners also made it a lively destination.

I have a memory from 1970 when Tom Jones was appearing at the Latin Casino. He was such a revered superstar that all that was necessary on the club’s marquee was “He is here.”

Eventually, I left my teaching position and began a three-year experience with a full-time music career, having been moonlighting since starting college. I’ve already written about joining the group The Painted Pony, and the road company of the rock musical The Last Sweet Isaac during this time.

I was a member of the Musicians Union, which at that time, had regulatory power over musical venues insuring employment strictly for union musicians, minimum group size, and, of course, pay scale.

I received a call that a nonunion saxophone player in an act was discovered and fired. They offered me The Modern | January 2013

an audition to replace him, but as a guitarist. It was at The Hawaiian Cottage, a medium-sized nightclub in Cherry Hill, a highway landmark. It was a one-story building topped with a several-story-high pineapple!

Al Antonio was a singer/comedian, and his wife Audrey was a statuesque “show girl” type. It was a burlesque act backed by a drummer, organist, and now me, on guitar.

Al and Audrey were wonderful people and fun to work with. They gave the musicians some parts in their slapstick skits and allowed me to sing some leads. After a run at The Hawaiian Cottage, we played clubs and private parties all around the Philadelphia area.

I built up a large teaching schedule of private music students in several studios during the week. I taught at Music City, which was a chain of two stores in Philadelphia and one in Cherry Hill. The stores were a hangout for local club musicians.

One day I tried out guitar amplifiers in the store, playing the song “(Love is Like a) Heat Wave.” Several gentlemen were browsing and started to chuckle.

They were working as backup musicians for The Temptations, who were appearing down the road at the Latin Casino. They told me that they had been on the original studio recording of that song.

Years later, I saw the film Standing in the Shadows of Motown featuring the legendary musicians who backed up the great stars in the heyday of that record label. So I can assume I met some of them.

After a time, I moved back to Philadelphia and found a “day job.” However, I continue to be a musician to this day. And I say, “Thank you, Cherry Hill, for some interesting memories.”

Art Wilson is a Philadelphia-based musician, teacher, software specialist and retired chemist.

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wish you were here

The Salem Toy Museum The trip to baby boomer heaven takes you there & brings you back.

By Jack Rotoli In the heart of downtown Salem, surrounded by museums dedicated to pirates, witches, and art, is everybody’s childhood playroom, The Salem Toy Museum. Targeted mostly toward baby boomers (only because proprietor Frank Sarcia is one) the museum is packed with memories of department store visits to Santa and bygone Christmas mornings.

Self-proclaimed president of the I-never-throwanything-out club, Frank proudly displays his prized possessions and is on hand to recount tales of his acquisitions of harder-to-find playthings he’s collected since his childhood. He’s also well versed in marketing trivia and tidbits from the manufacturers’ histories within his collection.

Whispers of “I had that!” and “Remember these?” bounce between the glass showcases, as visitors point to their favorites. I found one of mine, Major Matt Mason, an action figure that really wasn’t much more than an astronaut Gumby and would make any kid today say, “Seriously?” Some of the Major’s accessories are on hand too. I remember his space suit — it looked like a Tylenol bottle with a window. His rubber accordian arms were “powered”by a syringe-type bladder and air hose that over time would dry up and fall off.

I began to ponder whether the toy manufacturers were trying to introduce us to our fruits and vegetables with Vincent Price’s Apple Sculpture Shrunken Head Kit or Mr. Potato Head. Then figured, “NAH!” We wanted to play with our food and eat our toys. Would the FDA enforce nutritional information on Incredible Edibles? How much protein is there in a serving of Goop? My wife found her Easy Bake Oven and reminisced about feeding her dad her freshly baked creations, which he consumed lovingly. Her other favorite toy was nearby, The Thing Maker, including her favorite assembled mini-dragon in the display.

Embossed tin lunch boxes are among the treasures.

Lost in Space, one of TV’s better science fiction series before it turned camp, juxtaposed against Land of the Giants, one of TV’s worst in my opinion. But I loved that snake model kit, with the little people defending themselves against the serpent with a giant safety pin!

Then I saw her. There she was, stacked with her cohorts. (I mean “stacked” in both definitions of the word, “items piled on top of one another” and “VAwww.themodern.us

VA-VA-VOOM.”) Warren Publications’ contribution to Aurora’s Monster Scenes model kits was Mistress of the Dark, Vampirella. Scantily clad in her iconic jumper, Vampirella set the PTA in action. Parents organized against Aurora, and the Vamp was taken off toy shelves. I know my mother would have been among them, growing suspicious when I started buying my red Testors model paint by the gallon, continuously painting the voluptuous vampire. If I was going to be

corrupted, it was going to be like the other boys in the neighborhood, in our father’s closets with a stack of Playboys and a flashlight. And if I know my father, he had a Vampirella model kit of his own!

The collection continues to expand and change as new generations of toys come and go — toys I’d forgotten about and some I was too old for when they were introduced. Some toys were hand-me-downs from cousins and neighbors who outgrew them and others, my mother handed down, as I got older. Somehow, Mr. Sarcia managed to keep most of his toys and recollect those lost. One of his favorites? Tattooed from shoulder to wrist, Frank can relive the history of the sci-fi classic Planet of the Apes whenever he wants — but he has the action figures too.

Jack Rotoli is an artist and writer living in Pennsylvania.

The Salem Toy Museum is located in the Museum Place Mall, Salem, Massachusetts.

January 2013 | The Modern

dig this dvd

Saturday Night Live: The Best of Alec Baldwin MCA Home Video 2006

America loves her some Alec Baldwin.

Here is one of a million reasons why.

By Ronald Sklar We sure as hell know now, but back in the day, who knew? Alec Baldwin — a guy this good-looking, opinionated and once-married to a Hollywood beauty — should be so easy to hate, and yet he is one of the funniest and most likable people on television.

This Saturday Night Live retrospective on Baldwin’s best bits over the last two decades brings to light the miracle of his unlikely versatility. This collection shows how collected he is — and cool and calm as well. The audience seems to ride his every word, the writers actually write for him, and he joins that exclusive club of oft-returning hosts who add rich flavor to the show instead of flat window-dressing or shameless self-promotion.

Sure, like almost all hosts, he sneaks peeks at the cue cards, but Baldwin hits it out of the park on every pitch, from dead-on celebrity impersonation (Tony Bennett, Robert DeNiro and even Charles Nelson Reilly) to interesting original characters done with clear-eyed cheerfulness and unforced enthusiasm; for instance, a British aristocrat physically and emotionally falling in love with everybody he greets at Greenhilly Manor. In short, he gets it.

What he is remembered and admired for most is overrated (Schwetty Balls, anyone?); take a look instead at his performance as a persistent and perky high-school French teacher, or as a cowboy orderThe Modern | January 2013

ing food in a diner. (Played against the also-brilliant Jan Hooks, who observes, “Look at him sittin’ on that stool like he’s doin’ it a favor.”) He often brings up the cast a notch or two (sometimes an amazing feat); in an ironic turn against guest-host tradition, they often support him.

A good many of the sketches seem to be curiously gay-themed (the infamous Canteen Boy with Adam Sandler, as well as an answering machine that consistently records his hetero voicemail greeting in a lispy voice. There’s also an on-screen kiss between Baldwin and Phil Hartman, a press conference about Prince Charles’ alleged homosexuality, and a visit with Liza Minelli and thenhusband David Gest). Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The DVD itself is easy to maneuver, with neverbefore-seen dress rehearsal sketches that never made it to the air, and an enjoyable photo gallery. Seamless editing of twenty years of work makes it appear as if Baldwin’s contributions are summed up in one well-written episode.

He is bawdy in the fun audio commentary (“This is the most disgusting sketch we have ever done,” he claims at one point, and then adds, “let’s watch, shall we?”) He is joined by SNL producer Marci Klein (“a lot of your stuff is dirty,” she observes), and we get a small but polite taste of insider stories (back stabbing, whatever happened to’s) that has become SNL cliché but, like Baldwin himself, never ceases to be interesting. www.themodern.us

retro merch

Jay S. Jacobs

Mattel Football Handheld Game Cue military music and John Facenda.

By Jay S. Jacobs “From the frozen tundra of a handheld field, determined warriors do battle against the elements, their foes and their own fears. This contest for the ages will tax the mental stamina of everyone involved, with only two sure destinations: delirious victory or crushing defeat.”

Kids these days think they are so special with their Madden 2012. I grew up playing a football game where a bright red LED dot had to take on five not-so-bright LED dot defenders on a ten-yard field that keeps scrolling over and over until you hit paydirt.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. You see new defenders every ten yards, so if — say — you started on your own one-yard line and wanted to try for an epic 99-yard touchdown run, you would have to make your way past 45 defenders.

Plus, you don’t have a single person on your team.

No blocking, no wide-outs to toss the rock to in order to avoid a bone-jarring sack. It’s all on you.

Let’s see those Madden wimps try that.

Of course, computer play is somewhat predictable.

Eventually you realize that if you patiently wait in the back corner, the defending blips will often line up together so that you can dash off a 30- or 40-yard gain. Do that two or three times in the space of a run and you can cover the field.

Yet, occasionally predictable or not, Mattel Handheld Football was oddly addictive. Many a Seventies teen spent hours at a time on the game.

Mattel Football was the second electronic handheld sports game (Mattel had preceded it with Auto Race)

and was, by far, the most popular and imitated of these early technological marvels.

Mattel Handheld Football was first released in the summer of 1977 and sold through Sears stores. Sears was not expecting the game to be a big hit and ordered fewer than 100,000 copies, after which Mattel mostly stopped production of the game before it had even started. Turned out that Sears was wrong, they sold over a half-million games in the first six months, so Mattel powered up the production again, making the game an out of the box smash.

Soon enough, technology caught up with and surpassed Mattel Electronic Football, but the game was first and never forgotten. Time magazine recently named Mattel Football one of the 100 Greatest Toys Ever. It was so beloved that in 2000 Mattel re-released the by-then very outdated game, with the new name Mattel Classic Football, strictly for the nostalgia market.

Jay S. Jacobs is the author of the books Wild Years: The Music and Myth of Tom Waits and Pretty Good Years: A Biography of Tori Amos.

He is also senior editor and founder of the pop culture web magazine www.popentertainment.com.

internalize this

The 1982 Chevy Camaro Today, it moves as slow as snail mail, but in 1982, this was as futuristic as the middle of next week. Here, Chevy introduces its new Camaro, using music video images to rev you up and make you feel hip. It’s got the competition chasing shadows — it’s not your father’s Camaro.

Obsess on this joint — as we do — today! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YduzQp9Qalg

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January 2013 | The Modern

parting

sh t

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V03f74P4_o Neil’s right as rain when he claims, “January, you start the year off fine.”

In this early version of a music video, he and the gals physically and emotionally demonstrate why Neil’s heart’s in a whirl (as if his shimmyshimmy shake doesn’t give it away). Head’s up: if you’re into brunettes, Neil is the only candidate in this production. Hope this ditty starts your year off fine. How can it not?

Ronald Sklar