TheModernJulyAug2012V1N10

m dern the

July/August 2012 • Vol. 1, No. 10

www.themodern.us

your life in retro

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Daisy Duke, Daisy Mae, Mary Ann, Wonder Woman, and Richard Simmons, that’s who

Matthew Modine Returns

Bebe Neuwirth Wilmer Valderrama Matthew Sweet Hot Pants • Diablo • Clybourne Park

Keira Knightley Her End of the World

c ntents T h e M o d e r n — Yo u r l i f e i n r e t r o In this issue:

Here and Now Matthew Modine

The acclaimed actor goes full-metal digital with a new app and a stellar movie lineup.

Reconnecting

BeBe Neuwirth

Oh, snap! Morticia Addams was only one of many morphs in a continually evolving career.

Wilmer Valderrama

The former Fez on That 70s Show takes on Nerds and bullies.

Indie Women

Gina Busch Gets Privacy

Her starring role in the new indie film reveals that private eyes — they’re watching you.

New Tube

Yaniv Rokah

A coffee break lands our favorite Israeli actor on a groundbreaking web series.

Retro Essay Short Shorts: Look at that girl with them Daisy Dukes on!

Daisy Mae • Daisy Duke • Mary Ann • Richard Simmons Funny Papers: In her satin tights, fighting for our rights,

and the old red-white-and-blue.

The Great Forgotten

Legs and Booty Songs: we love these songs both coming and going.

Retro Merch

Hot Pants! Use what you got to get what you want.

Girlie Action

Keira Knightley: it’s the end of the world and she feels fine.

Picker/Grinner/Lover/Sinner

Matthew Sweet: 20 years with his Girlfriend.

On Broadway

Clybourne Park: the Broadway hit takes a hilarious but jarring look at race relations in America.

Boardwalk Empire

My Lost City: a look a the pre-casino dreamy decay of Atlantic City.

Grow It/Show It

The Toni Home Permanent: here’s something fluffy that keeps your hair puffy!

By Design

Cutlery on the Edge: a classic film immortalized a place setting.

Love Letters

A note written by hand, not text, carries more memory.

Ode To Joysticks

Retro Check

Adventures in Modern Sound

Retro Sports

Parting Shot: KYW – We’re 3 for All! An appeal to the Philadelphia working class goes unheeded, despite the best efforts.

letter from the editor

Antenna on the Roof

Back in the day, nay, even before the day, there were TV antennas on roofs as far as the eye can see. Every house had one, without exception. It didn’t matter how pimped out your TV set was — if you didn’t have a quality antenna on the top of your house, you were up S. Creek without a paddle. There were no other alternatives. No cable. No digital. No wireless. No FIOS. Vayas con Dios, my darling. You needed to grab that broadcast signal from the air, as if catching an elusive butterfly, and let it run down the back of your house on a wire, like a scurrying rat. It traveled at last into your rec room (through a drilled hole in the brick) and into the back of your new TV set. Only then did you have a picture tube worth watching. Bam. In 1967, as I entered kindergarten, my dad literally went for broke and bought the fam a console color TV set.

That year, this was considered a luxury so fine that even a ride on Apollo 14 would not have been as incredible.

RCA was considered the very top of the food chain for everything, but especially for color television. Its color console sets were the most expensive, so for us, it was naturally a Philco (close enough. Made in America, anyway.).

This was the year that all three television networks switched to all-color programming. On NBC’s Hollywood Palace, host Bing Crosby was introduced on its first colorcast “in every color from the blue of the sky to the gold of the day.” It was a big, big deal to see him in color; how a plain man like that could look so mesmerizing. Bob Hope’s jokes seemed more cutting edge; Gilligan’s shirt was blood red; Ultraman flew against a sky-blue sky in Tokyo. It felt real, modern, now. Suddenly, black-and-white TV was banished to the kitchen or the bedroom. It was an afterthought.

Dad made sure the antenna reception was first rate. He raised it high, like a flag over Iwo Jima (but we were in Philadelphia). Our antenna towered so mightily into the atmosphere that we were able to pick up stations in New York City. This was exotic to me. With a motorized contraption bought at Radio Shack and placed on top of the set, we could automatically, electronically revolve the roof antenna to pick up signals directly from New York (and sometimes even DC, if the stars in the sky were aligned the right way). This was a mind blower. I watched faraway independent local channels showing the same musty reruns, but at different times.

And I heard New Yawk accents on local commercials and newscasts. It may as well have been a peek into the lives of aliens on another planet.

Today, it’s all taken for granted, of course. The Internet has shrunken everything, not just our attention spans. And cable has unified the TV landscape to make all programming seem national, not local. No one listens to local radio anymore (Pandora, Sirius and Rush Limbaugh have seen to it). And newspapers? What are they?

Still, I still think fondly of a time when color was new and bright and stunning, and that local programming, even if it was not my own and even if it was raw and amateurish, was something to behold.

Ron Sklar Editor

m dern the

Yo u r l i f e i n r e t r o .

Editor • Ron Sklar | Art Director • Jennifer Barlow | Copy Editor • Patty Wall Contributing Writers: Desiree Dymond • Mitch Gainsburg Silvan Carlson-Goodman • Jay S. Jacobs • Tim Kraft • Barry Levy Mark Mussari • Jack Rotoli • Jacqueline Kravitz Strauss • Art Wilson Photography: Josh Sailor

C o n t a c t

u s :

i n f o @ t h e m o d e r n . u s

You’ve read about it in The Modern.

Summertime!

And the impulsive buying is easy.

Apple Bottoms Short Shorts cheap!

“Short Shorts”

by The Royal Teens Mp3 cheap!

“You’re Sixteen”

“Hot Pants”

by Johnny Burnette Mp3 cheap!

by James Brown Mp3 cheap!

John Lennon on The Dick Cavett Show DVD cheap!

Diablo III Videogame cheap!

here and now

Matthew Modine The acclaimed actor goes full-metal digital with a new app and a stellar movie lineup. y

R

o

n

a

Shrouds of secrecy surround the sacred plot line to The Dark Knight Rises, the long-awaited conclusion to the Batman trilogy, due out this month. Matthew Modine has a pivotal role in the film, and yet mum is still the word. That is, as mum as one can get in the digital age.

“It requires a lot of effort for a film to remain private until it is ready to be seen,” Modine tells me. “Everybody has cell phone cameras to take pictures. It’s so easy today.”

Despite the rapidly changing film business and how its product is now created, produced and distributed, Modine remains a busily working actor in great demand.

In addition to Knight, he is featured in Girl in Progress opposite Eva Mendes and he appears in the Edward Zwickproduced film Family Weekend. We remember him, of course, from Birdy, Married to the Mob and Vision Quest, among many others (don’t worry, more about Full Metal Jacket later). His career choices seem to be based on a certain type of character’s character.

“Growing up, I really loved Sean Connery,” he says.

“Actors like that were people who solved problems. And they always got the most beautiful girls to follow them.

As a young boy, I was attracted to that kind of problem solver who women are attracted to.”

l

d

S

k

l

a

r

Born the youngest of seven children in Loma Linda, California, Modine’s career started practically right out of the gate. A small role in Baby, It’s You got him noticed bigtime, and his name was written on the A list ever since.

“The thing that is wonderful about being an actor is that it gives you entrée to so many different professions,” he says. “During the course of my career, I’ve played everyone from a brain surgeon to the captain of an America’s Cup yacht. All of these characters have given me the opportunity to learn things that I feel so privileged to have learned — to travel around the world, to meet these people. And generally, when you are working on a film, you are working with the people who are most proficient at those roles you are about to portray.”

Which leads us, of course, to his upcoming role as John Sculley, the former head of Pepsi who comes on board — for one brief, shining decade — as Steve Jobs’ partner at Apple (Jobs will be played by Ashton Kutcher).

“Sculley worked with somebody who changed the world,” Modine says, “but people are people. And you never really understand a person until you get inside of his skin, to imagine what it is like to walk around in their shoes. The desire that we share as humans is

For more information on Full Metal Jacket Diary, click here: http://fullmetaljacketdiary.com/ To find out more about the Full Metal Jacket app, click here: www.kickstarter.com/projects/fmjd/matthew-modines-full-metal-jacket-diary-ipad-app The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

Photo credit: Jean Claude Dhien

b

“

very simple: we want to be appreciated. We want to be loved. We want people to think we are attractive.

These are characteristics that we all share.”

Perhaps Modine’s best known role is Private Joker in the Stanley Kubrick modern masterpiece Full Metal Jacket. Does the film’s enduring success and enormous following surprise him?

“No, because it’s a Stanley Kubrick film,” he says. “It’s a reflection of the genius that was and is Stanley Kubrick.

He said that films should be like a great piece of music: something that you can listen to over and over again.

Each time you listen to it, you experience the song differently. You’ll find something that you didn’t hear in the song before. I think that he, with Full Metal Jacket, really mastered that. It’s music you can listen to over and over and over again.”

[Stanley Kubrick] said that films should be like a great piece of music:

”

something that you can listen to over and over again. Each time you listen to it, you experience the song differently.

He was so inspired by his experience with the film, which occurred over 25 years ago, that he created a book, Full Metal Jacket Diary, to be devoured by a generation of rabid fans. Along with that: an upcoming iPad app, which includes Modine’s diary and photographs, memorabilia, and never-before-seen images and content. The project is a labor of love, seen through by the app’s producer, Adam Rackoff and aided by Modine himself. “[My purpose is] to create a deep immersion experience of what it was like to work with Stanley Kubrick on Full Metal Jacket,” he says. “It’s been a tremendous amount of work, but the reward for the person who adds the app to the iPad is going to be really worth it.”

Modine continues his life journey in a career that has spanned three decades and counting. His engine continues to rev, and his phone continues to ring.

He says, “My motivation to be an actor is that I am desperate to learn as much about life as I can for the brief time we all have here. I am hungry for experience and information so that when my time is up, I feel like I used my time on this planet.” www.themodern.us

July/August 2012 | The Modern

reconnecting

Bebe Neuwirth Oh, snap! Morticia Addams was

to her again. After a solid and varied career in TV, film and stage [including a recent Broadway turn as Morticia Addams in The Addams Family], the Princeton, NJ native knocks us for another loop. This time, it’s with an eclectic new CD called Porcelain [Leopard Works Records].

“It’s a very interesting process to put together an album,” she says, “with the feeling that the person is going to listen to these songs in a certain order. You go, ‘Wow, I had no idea that Tom Waits and Edith Piaf

only one of many morphs in a continually evolving career.

Bebe Neuwirth tells me this story, and it’s so Bebe Neuwirth (we’ll discuss in a moment): The “Lilith” part I auditioned for [on Cheers] was one scene. The character was described as a “clinical, very uptight person.” It was regarding a date [with Frasier Crane] that had gone very badly. It even said in the character description, “hair straight back in a bun.” Kelsey Grammer has a line: “I can count the comb marks in your hair.” She was all buttoned up, so I dressed like that for the audition. I just put my hair in a ballet bun. I’ve been wearing my hair like that for ballet class all my life. I buttoned up my shirt and wore a pencil skirt. I went in and got the part and did the read through. We broke for lunch. I went home, took my hair out of the bun, put on my black leather miniskirt and my high heels and my satin shirt — remember, this was the Eighties — and I went back to work. I looked completely different. I looked like myself. I was 26 years old. I was a little fox.

Ted [Danson] introduced himself to me again.

I said, “No, I already met you. I played Lilith.”

would go together so well, but listen to that!’ It’s a very interesting creative process.”

The CD does its digital best to contain her amazing vocal talent.

“I guess I have an unusual voice,” she says. “People recognize me by my voice all the time. In my generation, as a dancer in musical theater, you had to be able to sing also. So I took singing lessons when I was a

Right? The stunningly beautiful, multitalented actress with the distinctive voice, the two Tonys, the two Emmys, and the endless supply of grace and depth continues to make us mistakenly introduce ourselves

b The Modern | July/August 2012

y

R

o

n

a

l

d

S

k

l

a

r www.themodern.us

kid. I really did most of my training on the job. I was able to carry a tune. It’s not a small voice or a giant voice.”

That voice also naturally lends itself to Shakespeare, which Neuwirth recently performed as Titania (perfect, right?) in A Midsummer Night’s Dream for The Classic Stage Company.

“It reminds me of dancing in a ballet,” she says of Shakespearian drama. “If you do a classical ballet, there is gorgeous music swelling behind you.

In Shakespeare, no matter how you decide to do the play, or what the production is, and it doesn’t matter who the players are, that beautiful music is always there. That music in Shakespeare is the text. It’s thrilling — emotionally, psychically, spiritually — to live and breathe in those characters and say those words.”

She is still best remembered for the character of Lilith Crane, who was long-running on Cheers and often-recurring on Frasier.

“I always thought she was kind of heartbreaking,” Neuwirth says. “She was socially inept. She didn’t know how to be with people. She did have this fiery, very passionate soul inside. She was just awkward socially.”

A far cry from Neuwirth herself, yet most people would be surprised to learn that she does not share her beloved TV character’s academic credentials.

“I was a terrible student,” she says. “I really wasn’t interested in anything at the time. I was just finishing high school so that I could go to New York City and dance. People think I’m really smart. I didn’t go to college. I’m not stupid.

I’m a fairly bright person.

But I just play smart people.”

To find out more about Neuwirth’s CD, click here: http://www.theleopardworksrecords.com www.themodern.us

July/August 2012 | The Modern

reconnecting

Don’t Mess

Fez

Actor Wilmer Valderrama

with

b

y

R

o

n

a

As Fez on That 70s Show, Wilmer Valderrama played the funniest nerd who ever lived (“It takes a nerd to create a Fez,” he tells me). However, we all know that playing — and even being — a nerd is not always Klingons and candy.

Well, maybe it is candy.

Valderrama has loaned his everybody-knows-it voice to the Nerds candy brand (from the Willy Wonka company) in order to promote the much-talked-about “Stomp Out Bullying” campaign.

He knows whereof he speaks.

Even though he was born in Miami, Vilderrama moved with his family to their native

The Modern | July/August 2012

lends his distinctive voice to an anti-bullying campaign. l

d

S

k

l

a

r

Venezuela before returning again to the US. It was then when he got his first taste of being bullied.

“When I came to the United States, I didn’t even know how to speak English,” he says. “I didn’t even know how to count to three. Then learning how to speak English with an accent was even worse. Kids could be so cruel. I was 14-years old and considered inferior and somewhat dumb. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was very well educated and getting straight A’s. The sad part about it is that the educational level that we had in Venezuela was two grades ahead of America.

I had learned everything two years prior to that, but I didn’t know how to speak English.”

Of course, being whip-smart as he was, he learned how to turn lemons into lemonade with ice. He personally rebranded, stamping his nerd-guy persona as “one-of-a-kind.” From that moment forward, he was leading the conga line.

“For me it was about how unique my accent was and how I expressed myself,” he says, “and most importantly, it was staying in touch with my roots that allowed me to stand www.themodern.us

my ground. And it allowed me to be who I eventually became.”

“Stomp Out Bullying” is an anti-bullying and cyber harassment organization for teens. It has teamed with Wonka to launch the “Nerds Unite!” campaign, to remind the world that we are all nerds at heart.

“That’s why I love this campaign so much,” Vilderrama says, “because I can relate to it so directly and so organically. I really wish I had someone at that age who told me, ‘hey, man, it’s okay to be different,’ to give me permission to be great, to be myself.

When you hear that from someone you love and respect, from a parent or grandparent or someone you look up to, things could be really easier.

“It was the ability I had to be different [which allowed me] to create a career. I think teens need permission to achieve greatness. They sometimes feel that society or the entertainment industry or even our families set out an ideal for what perfection is, what beautiful is and what successful is.

And those definitions and theories are often misguided. It’s hard to achieve them.”

Being that he was unlike any other snowflake in the storm, he drifted with that.

It spun his life and his fate into a new direction, landing him on one of the most successful television series of the last few decades.

These days, his production company is working on a long list of projects for various networks, including MTV and Disney. In addition, he continues to appear before the camera, with a part in an upcoming Spike Lee joint later this year.

“I’m at a really good place in my life right now,” he says. “I’m reaching things that I’ve worked so hard to be able to do. I’m really proud of the choices I’ve made so far.” www.themodern.us

“

I really wish I had someone

at that age who told me, ‘hey, man, it’s okay to be different,’ to give me permission to be

”

great, to be myself.

Wilmer Valderrama

July/August 2012 | The Modern

indie women

Gina Busch

Gets Privacy Her starring role in the new indie film reveals that private eyes — they’re watching you.

For many of us, cell phones, smart phones and digital cameras still feel like new toys. Yet there is nothing playful about the dark side of technology, especially when it falls into the wrong hands. The new independent film, Privacy (Hard Headed Films), stars Gina Busch as a woman who is caught in a web of modern technological intrigue. The film, which is getting a resoundingly positive response from film festivals and markets, raises the question of how far digital equipment could and should go, and how impactful its power can be on ordinary (and not so ordinary) users.

From an actor’s standpoint, what was your experience like working on this film? Has it changed or transformed you in any way?

The experience was amazing and I learned a lot.

Our director, Jorg Ihle, was much more than a director; he was a mentor. For some of us, this was our first major role in a feature film, so in the beginning, I think there were some nerves. But everyone was so incredibly supportive and encouraging. It inspired us to give 110 percent. The energy in a production is critical. We had positive energy beaming from the walls. Such an awesome group of individuals.

B y

R o n a l d

S k l a r

Photography: Patrick Randak The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

Have I changed or transformed from this experience … absolutely. The best tool of learning is through experience. For instance, I learned that preparing for a scene can be challenged by time, weather, location [and other variables]. You have to find your zen and connect with your character without outside distractions.

Communication is key on- and off-set. I also learned that continuity is a vital element in film, and keeping continuity throughout filming can be challenging.

How would you describe Alexis?

Alexis is presented with information about her illegitimate father whom she’s never known. After losing her mother to breast cancer, she goes to her father in belief that he would be interested to know that she exists. The breaking news stimulates panic in her politician father, who offers to pay her off to keep the information from being disclosed. Events further develop as she finds herself fighting for her life. I think Alexis’ history explains the courage and determination that you see throughout the movie. She grew up without a father figure and aiding her ill mother. She is an independent, brave, and strong-willed young woman.

You are both an actor and a model.

Do you find the transition between the two difficult?

As a model you find yourself playing different roles on camera.

So ultimately they can compliment each other. Modeling made me more comfortable in front of a camera, especially when filming commercials.

However, my first acting teacher told me she could always point out a model in her class because they are more aware of themselves and they often tend to stand in a pose while performing. Models do learn to be aware of everything while shooting, from their clothes, to their hair, to how they place their hands. And in acting you must be in the moment without worrying about how you look. Luckily, I understand that and I can transition between the two without conflict.

Do you perceive a certain preconception from casting directors and film producers about models who want to be actors? Do you have to overcome that perception? www.themodern.us

Every once in a while, I’ll find myself in a situation where I’m defending myself as an actor. It’s occasional, but it happens. There are a lot of models who aspire to be actors as a second resort or transition from modeling. But there are others who study, dedicate and show commitment to the art. A good agent isn’t going to take you on because you have a pretty face.

You have to prove to them that you are the real deal.

The film has something to say about the potential dangers of social media as it pertains to privacy. Would you agree that social media could have its hazards as well as its pleasures?

I would definitely agree. The list of pros and cons is endless. We need to be careful of what information is getting out there and who’s getting ahold of it. Social media has to be censored. It can be positive as long as it’s not misused. But with the way technology is taking off, I think it’s a matter of time before someone seriously abuses the system.

Speaking of new media, it seems to be a whole new world nowadays when it comes to marketing and promoting independent film. How is this film being presented to the world in a fresh and new way, and in the context of social media?

Well, I think the concept of the film is fresh and new, which in itself helps promote the movie.

When I read this script, I was captivated by the storyline. A computer-savvy boy taps into cellphones and is able to see what anyone is doing at any time. It’s a whole new play on technology. What makes it even more interesting is that it could really happen.

As for promoting the film, Facebook and Twitter have been great for posting updates. We have the trailer on YouTube and Vimeo. Some of the actors also made video testimonials for the promotion of Privacy. The writer, Nicole Jones, sent out a Twitter campaign for our supporters to help us reach 10,000 views before our premiere at the Marché du Film at Cannes Film Festival. We are currently well over our goal.

Take a look at the Privacy trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtE8aBZbXTY For more information, go to Privacythemovie.com July/August 2012 | The Modern

new tube

A coffee break lands our favorite

“I play Dr. Rokah,” he says, which will at least surely delight his mother back in Israel. “Both my parents were in the hospital when I was performing the role, and I was Skyping with them, all dressed up like a doctor in a hospital.”

Rokah’s story arc begins in the fall, under the series name Kendra. And what seemed like an unthinkable concept only a few short years ago is now providing us with future shock.

“It’s genius, “ Rokah says. “It’s obvious that we’re all watching stuff on our phones, laptops, and iPads. It’s changing very fast. And why not? The series quality is the same as shows on Showtime and HBO. It’s a pretty amazing invention.”

Rokah, the youngest of ten children, was brought up in Netanya, outside of Tel Aviv.

In the Eighties, an uncle in America sent back a color television. As a result, Rokah was bitten by the acting bug.

“It was always difficult to be in actor in Israel,” he says. “Everybody raised eyebrows back then if you were an artist. Now it’s a different story, of course, but back then it was hard to get around.”

With a growing resume of TV commercials and network and cable series parts (including a role in the upcoming feature film World War Z), Rokah is looking forward to the next phase of his career.

“There are no more excuses for anyone,” Rokah says of the digital age’s boundless opportunities for artists, “because you can write, create, do yoga, dance, and perform on the street as well as on the Internet. It’s everywhere, and it’s happening now.”.

Israeli actor on a groundbreaking web series.

“I’ve been making [filmmaker] Jon Avnet espresso for the last five years,” says actor Yaniv Rokah, who spends part of his time as manager of Santa Monica’s Caffe Luxxe coffee shop.

“You can say that he gave me a break, basically, and wrote a part for me, a really nice part on his new show.”

Even under normal circumstances, this would be the stuff of show business “how I was discovered” legend. What adds sugar to the coffee here is that Rokah will be a cast member of Avnet’s much-anticipated web series, on a ground breaking YouTube channel called WIGS (Where It Gets Interesting).

“It’s an original-scripted high-end drama and it revolves around women,” Rokah says. “It attracted a lot of big names like [film director] Rodrigo Garcia, who is producing as well as directing and writing. Also actors like Jennifer Garner and Virginia Madsen.”

The channel, which launched in May and is already surpassing 10 million unique views, is being touted as the future of television. Producers, writers and A-List actors are flocking to this next medium, which caters to the newly shortened attention span (episodes run about five to ten minutes) yet pays plenty of attention to user-generated comments. Characters can break out or be dropped as a result of instant user response.

B The Modern | July/August 2012

y

R

o

n

a

To view WIGS, click here: www.watchwigs.com Learn more about Yaniv here: www.yanivrokah.com/Site/Home.html

l

d

S

k

l

a

r www.themodern.us

Photography by Alicia Cho

Yaniv Rokah

retro essay

Who wears

short shorts?

Look at that girl with them Daisy Dukes on!

For those who can pull it off, short shorts are one of the pleasures of summer. Although most men wouldn’t be caught dead in them, their girl-watching wouldn’t be the same without them.

Here, we tip our hats to short shorts. They’re forever keeping women looking and feeling cool, while causing men to be looking and feeling overheated.

B y

R o n a l d

S k l a r

Photography: Josh Sailor Models: Nick Flatto, Don Hood, Tommy DiDario, Jacob Schirmer, Taray Carey.

We wear short shorts.

retro essay

They’re such short shorts.

We like short shorts.

Who wears

short shorts?

We wear short shorts.

funny papers

Super

Short Shorts!

In her satin tights, fighting for our rights, and the old red-white-and-blue.

When Wonder Woman burst onto the comic book scene way back in 1942, she sure turned more than a few heads. Charles Moltons’ creation was originally intended to be a motherly figure to the mostly all-boy audience enraptured in a universe of male heroes.

Homage to her adoptive country, Wonder Woman first sported a star-spangled skirt to go with her revealing, golden-eagle-emblazoned, red corset. The Princess of Paradise Island fought common criminals and at the same time, promoted the American dream and inspired the Allied Forces during the latest war to end all wars.

The success of Wonder Woman opened the com-

B y The Modern | July/August 2012

J a c k

ics industry to the female side of crime fighting.

Billy Batson’s sister joined Captain Marvel as Mary Marvel. There was Phantom Lady and Gimmick Girl who donned shorts while the street-smart antiheroine Black Canary was decked out in fishnets over blue tights. (Perhaps fishnets were too risqué to show thigh-high flesh in the early Forties.) The Canary also wore calf-high boots to accompany her leather body suit and short jacket — so much for curbing the risqué. Of course there was also the villainous side; Catwoman’s career threatening the citizen’s of Gotham and thwarting Batman also started in the Forties. A few of the heroines, like their male

R o t o l i www.themodern.us

counterparts, wore skin-tight costumes — yawn.

Some of those heroines’ adventures were intended to entertain girls and introduce them into the world of comics. One story of Phantom Lady featured the heroine rescuing a litter of kittens — seriously. Wonder Woman had a sorority of college sisters as her sidekicks.

Black Canary, Phantom Lady and a few others seemed to sway more to the pinup, Bettie Page look and that only kept the boys more interested.

Wonder Woman’s costume didn’t change much over the years, but the skirt changed to shorts, then to hot pants, and — like most female characters’ garments — just showing off her legs.

(There was a brief “what were they thinking?” period, when Wonder Woman turned in her star-spangled outfit for a white jump suit — just spoiling that naughty little daydream for everyone.)

We cannot forget, in an article about super heroines, Superman’s cousin Kara from Argo City, Krypton. Draped in blue to match her famous cousin’s colors, and far less pin-up then some of her female counterparts, Supergirl made f One story o her debut in a modest skirt. After all, she dy featured a L m to was a minor at only sixn a h P teen. scuing a By the time the Seventies e heroine re th rolled around, the mad, the — mod, and the NOW was in, so er of kittens tt li DC gave readers a chance to design Supergirl. Her blonde locks got longer and now more mature, her skirt got shorter… and shorter… and hot pants made the scene. Not to be outdone in Metropolis’ fashion district, check out the gams on Lois Lane.

I started reading comics at a time when reprints were published as frequently as new material, so I was introduced to the Golden Age characters and saw their debuts and transitions over the decades. I didn’t even mention the female characters in the Teen Titans, the Legion of Superheroes, or the entire Marvel universe, that’s a lot o’ legs…

serio

usly .

Jack Rotoli is an artist and writer living in Pennsylvania. www.themodern.us

July/August 2012 | The Modern

short shorts

Daisy Mae Created by Al Capp, Li’l Abner was a comic strip that ran in newspapers (a newspaper is a…oh, never mind) from 1934 to 1977, which is a hell of a long time. During that entire run, Daisy Mae was hopelessly in love with Li’l Abner, a prototype musclehead with zero ambition and a low-flow sex drive. These characters were the most stereotypical of hillbillies, and a prototype to the current label, white trash. Like all hill people, they dressed in shabby, tootight clothes that were ripping and shredding, hence Daisy Mae’s short shorts. They most likely started out as Katherine Hepburn trousers.

Daisy Duke The character, played by Catherine Bach on The Dukes of Hazzard (1979–1985) was the very female cousin of Bo and Luke Duke. She toiled as a waitress at Boss Hogg’s Boar’s Nest, and, during her off hours, would reluctantly become involved in erratic car chases. She aspired to be a singer/songwriter, but she will be forever in blue jeans of the short shorts variety.

The term “Daisy Dukes,” the modern-day nickname given to this denim item, was coined in honor of her character, and turned into a hip-hop homage by The 69 Boyz. A poster of her wearing said Daisy Dukes sold five million units and made countless teenage boys feel funny inside. Still no final sale tally on the Daisy Duke lunchboxes.

The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

Mary Ann When the eternal question is asked, “Ginger or Mary Ann?” the choice is actually “madonna or whore?” Not sure why Mrs. Howell never figures into this equation, but a pair of short shorts on a country girl beats a sequined evening dress any day. In American pop culture, short shorts came to symbolize good-old-down-home-untainted virginal goodness, despite their wildly erotic vibe and eff-me fit. As Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island from 1964–1967, Dawn Wells showed us that the miniskirt may have been the current thing uh-huh, but the short short is eternal. Amen.

Richard Simmons Before gay culture outed itself and became a TV staple as tiresome and as trashy as mainstream culture, there was Richard Simmons. Shot out of a cannon and beat-thumping a bipolar smile/cry workout rhythm, Simmons simultaneously showed us sweating to oldies and his formerly fat legs.

Coming out (pun intended) of nowhere and then seemingly everywhere, he made more TV appearances than his Dolfin shorts had stripes. He has calculated that over the course of his career, he has helped humanity lose over 12 million pounds.

For that, humanity is right back atcha, but please put on some long pants.

www.themodern.us

July/August 2012 | The Modern

the great forgotten

Legs and Booty Songs We love these songs both coming and going.

B

y

J

a

y

S

.

J

a

c

o

b

s

It’s mostly forgotten now, but when Paul McCartney wrote the music to “Yesterday” — the most played song in the past century — he used a temporary lyric. Had he not had a change of heart, you may have been hearing that song thousands of times over the years with the opening line, “Scrambled eggs, oh my baby how I love your legs.” “Yesterday” ended up not celebrating gams and posteriors, but a whole hell of a lot of songs in the rock era have done so.

Hell, if I counted all the rap songs about booty alone in this list, it would fill this entire magazine and probably a few future issues. There is a reason why guys love short shorts, and here are some musical examples.

The Modern | July/August 2012

“Legs” – ZZ Top

The hottest little boogie band from Texas sure loved their womenfolk, as shown by two of the band’s biggest hits, each of which were named after a favorite body part. This 1984 single was the band’s biggest hit ever and cemented their short-lived stint as MTV superstars, thanks to the slick video of a shy waitress who was taught by three models to dress like a slut. www.youtube.com/embed/fKhiPgCKiN8

— was actually first coined by Snoop Dogg in the 1992 song “Dre Day.” However, due to the popularity of this song, the term is now listed (amazingly) in the Oxford English Dictionary. Actually, Beyoncé did not sing most of the lead vocals for the song, it was DC member Kelly Rowland, who has since said that it is the most irritating Destiny’s Child song. www.youtube.com/embed/IyYnnUcgeMc

“Short Shorts” – The Royal Teens

This song was written in 1957 by 15-year-old Bob Gaudio, who would soon go on to form the superstar group The Four Seasons with Frankie Valli. The lyrics were inspired when Gaudio and a fellow Royal were tooling around in their 1957 Ford Fairlane in Bergenfield, New Jersey and they spied two girls walking out of a local candy store wearing very short cut-off jeans.

Years later, this song gained renewed life when it became the jingle in a series of ads for Nair Hair Remover. www.youtube.com/embed/qYKlYA77ZI4

“Tush” – ZZ Top

“(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty” – KC & the Sunshine Band

As stated above, “Legs” was actually ZZ Top’s second body part song. The band’s first top 40 hit was this song, named after the derriere. Quite literally, the song was about going to a honky-tonk in search of some ass.

Interestingly, the band pronounced it to rhyme with “crush,” not the more common pronunciation that rhymes with “push.” Sadly, at least to this day, the Top guys have not gotten around to doing their final salvo in the body parts trilogy, a song which they would undoubtedly call “Boobs.” www.youtube.com/embed/-jB_QM73Slk

Not all booty songs are about sex. Sometimes, they are about dancing. From the height of the disco era, this favorite exalted people to move their ass on the dance floor. At the time, the song was somewhat controversial because it was considered rather sexual. (Check some of the songs immediately below to see how much has changed since the Seventies.) It is also the only number one single in Billboard chart history to have a single word (shake) repeated four times in the title. In fact, in the three line-chorus, the word “shake” is repeated eight times. www.youtube.com/embed/l3fZuW-aJsg

“Hot Legs” – Rod Stewart

“Baby Got Back” – Sir Mix-A-Lot

Right at the height of his debauched period, Rod the Mod put forth this rocking ode to the power of gams.

The song also spawned one of the first true rock videos (almost four years pre-MTV) in which the camera filmed him singing from between a woman’s legs. I don’t believe it is merely a tribute to The Graduate. www.youtube.com/embed/AHcjjxYbgNM

“Bootylicious” – Destiny’s Child

Back in 2001 when Beyoncé Knowles was still just part of a band, she topped the charts this song — which rode on an instrumental sample of Stevie Nicks’ 1981 hit “Edge of Seventeen.” The term bootylicious — which I guess is pretty self-explanatory www.themodern.us

As stated earlier, it would be nearly impossible to count down all the rap tributes to a shapely derriere.

However, out of the huge pile of rap songs about big butts, Sir Mix-A-Lot’s magnum opus is undoubtedly the one that has made the deepest impact on pop culture.

Proudly opening with Mix-A-Lot’s manifesto “I like big butts and I can’t deny.” Full of fat beats and puns about fat butts, “Baby Got Back” may very well be the most ironically quoted rap song of the Nineties. www.youtube.com/embed/reTx5sqvVJ4

“Shake Ya Ass” – Mystikal

Remember how KC and the Sunshine Band’s song “Shake Your Booty” was controversial because of July/August 2012 | The Modern

the great forgotten it’s suggestiveness back in the Seventies? Here is the new-millennium equivalent of that song. The times, they are a changing. www.youtube.com/embed/M7B5KwXHFtw

sion than notice that she got all gussied up for a night of romance. www.youtube.com/embed/TzWOa8loCDI

“Nice Legs, Shame About Her Face” – The Monks

“Dazzey Duks” is actually the ghetto-ization of the name Daisy Dukes, the hot short-shorts-wearing character played by actress Catherine Bach. Yeah, I didn’t realize that old Dukes of Hazzard reruns were so big in the ‘hood, either. However, this song is a celebration of those super-short shorts. www.youtube.com/embed/9zKx6xpS_gk

This song by late Seventies punk group The Monks ended up being a very, very, very minor hit when released in 1979. It doesn’t deserve the obscurity it has wallowed in ever since, because it has one of the greatest song titles ever. Therefore, we’re doing our part to remind people of this forgotten treasure. www.youtube.com/embed/HfEsmXbjcyg

“Fat Bottomed Girls” – Queen

For a closeted gay man, the late Freddie Mercury seemed to be pretty fascinated with women’s bodies.

This song — which was released as part of a double-Aside single with the song “Bicycle Race” — was actually written by bandmate Brian May, who also sang lead on the chorus. It’s supposed to be the memory of the sexual awakening of a man who appreciated women who were a little more “bodacious.” www.youtube.com/embed/VMnjF1O4eH0

“Did I Shave My Legs for This?” – Deana Carter

Deana Carter takes a look at the other side of the coin in this wistful country lament. In the song she is a woman trapped in a disappointing, passionless relationship with a guy, knowing that he’d rather watch televi-

“Dazzey Duks” – Duice

“Big Bottom” – Spinal Tap

I acknowledge that it is weird that I have done two straight “Great Forgotten” lists in which a Spinal Tap song parody makes the cut. That said, this may be the funniest big butt rock song ever. With lines like “The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’” the comic geniuses of Spinal Tap fully puncture the sleazy bravado of metal. www.youtube.com/embed/7qDgCmzh5ao

“Behind the Wall of Sleep” – The Smithereens

Okay, it’s a bit of a stretch to call this a leg song, but it does have the main character obsessing about a girl who “had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton back in 1965, she had legs that never ended, I was halfway paralyzed.” Any song that is rendered dumbstruck by long-ass legs has earned it’s place in this list. www.youtube.com/embed/UNZbP3ZVem4

internalize this

High-Calorie Hygiene!

A little song. A little dance. A little loosening of your pants.

On TV, McDonald’s is always better, cleaner, friendlier, more inviting. But how about a Mickey Dee’s worthy of The Great White Way? The best example is right here, in the cleanest McDonald’s you’ll ever see. It’s operated by middle-aged white men (and a small percentage of men of color) who sing and dance. They also scrub and polish with the intensity of Stepford Wives. When one claims “there is nothing so clean as my burger machine,” he ain’t just talking trash. It’s a well-oiled machine just ready to take your order – the most anal-retentive fast-food staff that ever asked if you want fries with that. Obsess on this joint — as we do — today! http://www.youtube.com/embed/XKR1ScQUpcA

The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

retro merch

Jay S. Jacobs

Hot Pants!

Use what you got to get what you want.

By Jay S. Jacobs With an inseam that made James Brown scream “Uhhhhhh!,” the hot pant became a necessary fashion statement of the groovy late Sixties and early Seventies. If you think normal shorts have just way too much leg fabric, then perhaps hot pants are for you, budding fashionista.

If you have shapely legs that need a bit of showing off, or a bubble butt that slays with just the right framing, hot pants may be just the thang.

They are also a huge favorite for us pervy guys. Well, not wearing them — that would just look silly (check out Richard Simmons if you doubt me). However, we love watching them walking towards or away from us.

And, really, what else are clothes for?

As the Godfather of Soul sang, “She got to use what she got to get what she wants.”

Okay, admittedly there is something very chauvinistic about the idea of hot pants.

Just the name itself could be considered borderline offensive. Also, if you get technical, they have very little more fabric than some pairs of panties. I’m positive Bella Abzug and Gloria Steinem were not big fans. (Too bad. Gloria could have probably pulled them off. Bella — not so much.)

“Hot pants were not invented by a woman. We can all pretty much agree on that,” said Kathryn Finney, founder of the fashion blog “The Budget Fashionista,” in an interview with Ellen Warren of the Chicago Tribune about the current revival of the style.

Some of the complaints that were aired in that article about hot pants are totally legit. There are very few places where they are appropriate. They are uncomfortable, with great chances of wedgy or www.themodern.us

cameltoe. You have to stand upright in them, because if you sit, your legs will stick to the chair. And if you bend, you may get arrested for indecent exposure. You have to be very young or have absolutely no body fat to pull them off. And even if you can pull them off, chances are you’ll look a bit like a hooker.

However, as long as there are hot young things wanting to accentuate their hotness, there will be inappropriate fashion trends that do just that. And grateful men to watch.

While hot pants were a fairly short-lived fad, they pop back into style periodically. In fact, they have reappeared pretty regularly in the four decades since the style’s glory days.

In the immortal words of Fernando Lamas (by way of Billy Crystal), “It’s better to look good than to feel good, baby.”

Jay S. Jacobs is the author of the books Wild Years: The Music and Myth of Tom Waits and Pretty Good Years: A Biography of Tori Amos. He is also senior editor and founder of the pop culture web magazine www.popentertainment.com.

July/August 2012 | The Modern

girlie action

Keira Knightley It’s the End of the World and She Feels Fine

By Jay S. Jacobs We’ve seen Keira Knightley playing so many dour, serious roles in so many stuffy period pieces that it can sometimes be easy to forget that she is just a normal, young, friendly actress. However, if you sit with her, like I did recently in New York’s Waldorf-Astoria Hotel — her clothes casual and modern and an impish smile playing around her face and dancing eyes — any preconceptions you may have taken from her movie roles quickly disappear.

We’ve watched Keira Knightley growing up, so sometimes it feels like we know her. A child actress who first caught our attention in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace and Bend it Like Beckham, Knightley became a star when taking on the role of Elizabeth Swann in the Pirates of the Caribbean series. Since then, she has been able to juggle art-house hits (nabbing an Oscar nomination for Pride and Prejudice as well as acclaim for Atonement), big budget, commercial films (The Pirates movies, Domino, King Arthur, Love Actually) and quirky independent features (A Dangerous Method, London Boulevard).

Knightley’s latest role is in the bittersweet romantic comedy Seeking a Friend for the End of the World, in which two lost souls find each other in the final weeks of life on Earth. The film was directed by first-timer Lorene The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

Scafaria (screenwriter of Nick & Nora’s Infinite Playlist). It co-stars Knightley with Steve Carell as Penny and Dodge, two neighbors who never really met until it is announced that the world will be ending in three weeks. While trying to get their lives in some kind of order for the end, they end up growing closer as their time quickly ticks away.

A couple of weeks before Seeking a Friend opened across the country, we sat down with Knightley to discuss the film.

Would you consider this a comedy about the end of the world?

No, I’d say it has comic moments. I wouldn’t call it a comedy, but I can’t find one of those nice phrases that it fits into. People have said dramedy. I don’t know. It’s not really a romantic comedy. I can’t really find the correct one.

What did you think about Penny?

I just really liked her. I loved the script. I’d never read anything like it. I love the idea of taking this subject matter that is as close to death, doom and destruction as you could possibly get, and then putting this other twist on it. I suppose it’s comic, but it also just makes it incredibly personal and very small. You see a film about the end of the world and you think it’s going to be an action blockbuster and there are going to be heroes. I love the idea that you take people from a suburban place who can’t quite figure out what to do with themselves. They’re still having the same problems as they’ve been having for their entire lives — just trying to deal with that.

I loved all of that.

Do you ever think about the end of the world and what you would do if you were in their position?

No. I hope that I wouldn’t know about it. I wouldn’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss. If anyone said, “You’ve got 20 days to go,” I’d just be in the corner, crying. I’d be terrified. So, no, I haven’t…

I thought it was interesting that Penny carried around all of her old vinyl LPs everywhere. That was the one item she wanted to save.

Yeah. I know.

If you were in that position, what do you think you’d be sure to save and keep close?

The thing about those albums was, she was dragwww.themodern.us

ging around the albums, but she wasn’t dragging around anything to play them on. I personally would find that really annoying. I would probably just get as many bottles of alcohol as possible. I wouldn’t want to be sober if it was the end of the world. That would be horrendous. So, wine, and a lot of it.

Do you think the albums were like a teddy bear or something, just something for her to clutch?

I think they were how she could make sense of the world. I think, like so many music lovers, they become such a personal [thing]. Memories are completely tied up with music, so the people and times of her life would have been completely tied up in those things. She was almost carrying around her life with her, in a way.

Would you have any records you’d want?

You know, I don’t really have the same thing. I like music. I’m not a music lover. It’s weird, because a lot of my close friends and family members are totally obsessed by music. I’ve always, for some reason, been attracted by people who are. I suppose in the way you are attracted by any enthusiast of anything. I don’t have that. It’s always been a quiet mystery. I really like it. I can listen to it. But I could equally sit there and it can be silent and I wouldn’t miss it.

You don’t have any songs that make you nostalgic?

No, I don’t. It’s really weird, I remember it so clearly, I didn’t like music [as a child]. I actively didn’t listen to it throughout my teenaged years. I remember being like 11 and my best friends at that time were suddenly getting into music, and me still wanting to play. Suddenly, I was supposed to be listening to boy bands, and I found it really offensive.

I thought it was the boy bands’ fault. So I didn’t listen to it, literally, until I got into my early, mid20s. Then I suddenly went, “Oh, hey, this is great.

I get it.”

You’re marrying a musician. (It had just been announced that she was engaged to keyboard player James Righton of the Klaxons a week earlier).

I know. (laughs) I think that’s why.

Jay S. Jacobs is the author of the books Wild Years: The Music and Myth of Tom Waits and Pretty Good Years: A Biography of Tori Amos. He is also senior editor and founder of the pop culture web magazine www.popentertainment.com.

July/August 2012 | The Modern

picker/grinner/lover/sinner

Matthew Sweet 20 Years With His Girlfriend

by Jay S. Jacobs Pop singer Matthew Sweet’s album Girlfriend is widely considered one of the definitive albums of the Nineties. The record, a wonderfully eclectic mix of rock, pop and country, still feels amazingly fresh today.

Therefore, it’s rather shocking to hear that Sweet is currently touring to celebrate the album’s twentieth anniversary. Ever since last fall, Sweet has been doing a series of gigs around the country where he plays the album in full, then adds in a few other hits like his 1996 smash “Sick of Myself.”

Even Sweet is a little surprised by the excitement about the milestone. He was planning to spend this year touring for last year’s album Modern Art when the Girlfriend requests to do anniversary shows came pouring in. Therefore, he makes sure to do at

least one song each show from the new album, to demonstrate to audiences that the new music is just as strong as the classics.

Obviously, your music shows you are a fan of many different artists and styles. What were some of your earliest influences musically?

It would have been stuff that was around the house.

My older brother, who was five years older, had things.

My parents… I remember like the What’s New, Pussycat? soundtrack. One of the first things I remember was the Help! soundtrack. Some of the first Beatles I knew was from that. Then Revolver was around, and that’s really my favorite Beatles record today. Help! and Revolver were the Beatles I knew until I was older. Then I got into a lot of British Invasion New Wave — Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe. The Buzzcocks. The more me-

lodic stuff. When that whole wave came in, although I guess it was pretty indie here. I knew people at the record store and we all bought the 45s.

What was it like when suddenly after years of scrapping with groups and solo, Girlfriend hit and you were suddenly getting all this acclaim and airplay?

It was very overwhelming on a lot of levels. It was kind of a double kick, because after I made the record A&M [his previous label] merged with Polygram and all of the sudden everybody was being ousted, including my A&R guy. So, we thought, well, the record is cool, we’ll sell it to somebody else. My manager was convinced that Girlfriend could be on the radio. I had no concept of that. He kept at it, but in the end we sold the record for pennies on the cost of it to Zoo Entertainment. So, I had especially low expectations.

To have it then suddenly take off was pretty amazing.

Part of it was that the tapes spread around in a younger record industry over the course of that year. I had to really tour a lot. I had to talk about myself so much and I hated myself especially at that time. (laughs) It was sort of mentally killing for me. Emotionally it was difficult for me.

Photo credit: Jim Rinaldi

As I recall you telling me years ago, Tuesday Weld was on the cover of Girlfriend just because you liked the picture. Do you enjoy collecting old photography and movie memorabilia?

I went through a period where I did that. Kind of pre-Girlfriend, so a really long time ago. We still have books that we put together when Lisa was my girlfriend. We’ve been married now since 1993. I’m into that kind of thing, but I haven’t actively gotten into it since back then.

You also named a song on the album after Winona Ryder, though it wasn’t specifically written about her. Did you have a thing about actresses?

It’s funny, that song was probably called “Alone in the World” (laughs) or something like that. Lloyd Cole [the British singer who fronted Lloyd Cole & the Commotions], who I was hanging out with at the time, said, “Why don’t you call it “Winona?”” You love that movie.” I was into Heathers. I thought [that title] is kind of country. That sort of fits. So I just used his title. It wasn’t really a song about her. I had to do a lot of explaining about it. (chuckles) If you’re collecting movie star stuff from actresses you loved, you have this ideal idea about this person that would be so amazing that it would solve all your problems, although those girls are all crazy. (laughs) Eventually I met her. Recently I saw a photo of the two of us together. (laughs again) I didn’t www.themodern.us

even know there had ever been one taken. It made me smile. It was funny.

How crazy is it that Girlfriend is over 20 years old now?

It blows my mind, but now we’ve been touring it since last fall, so I’m really comfortable with it. It’s not as crazy to me [now]. But yeah, it was mind-blowing on a lot of levels. I had to go back and really learn everything, the words. Then just to think it’s been 20 years and to see the audiences. When I think of myself as a young person, I started getting records in probably… I was born in ’64, so I was probably buying them by ’75 or something. It had been five years since the Beatles broke up. That seems like ancient history. So much had happened. It was just so different.

I can remember things I did really young.

I had to take piano lessons when I was pretty young. I really hated taking lessons, so when I was in kind of a funky mood and my mom was not around, I’d go to the piano and do little mood pieces, hitting chords and bass clefs a little bit.

What was the first record you bought?

The first one I remember going to the record store to get, I bought the 45 of “Telephone Line” by ELO. Vinyl.

What was the first concert you ever saw?

First concert is ELO. Probably that following year.

With green lasers. Steve Hillage opened up. I couldn’t even breathe the air because there was so much cigarette and pot smoke. I went with my big brother and his girlfriend.

What music do you put on when you are in a bad mood to cheer you up?

Interesting. Maybe it would be something more uppity, like the Nerves — that’s somebody I’ve listened to recently. Kind of a power pop thing that’s really upbeat, I like. The Beach Boys usually would cheer me up. They also have the anxiety and everything, which is perfect July/August 2012 | The Modern

picker/grinner/lover/sinner — Brian [Wilson] anyway. If I’m feeling super-agitated and I really want to cool out, I will play Bill Evans records.

What songs can automatically make you feel like you want to cry when you hear them?

Let me think. There’s Brian stuff. “Surf ’s Up” and “’Til I Die” and that Dennis [Wilson] song “Forever.”

Those kind of songs I’m really a sucker for. Sad, meaningful songs.

see them play live and we’ve been on this crazy Beach Boys trip.

I can’t wait to see the new tour. I was lucky enough to see the band the last time Brian toured with them in the Eighties, when he was in the middle of the Dr. Eugene Landy days. I’ve never seen someone look so scared on stage in my life. But it was a great show.

Just weird and terrible. But to see Brian still there, he was clearly enjoying himself. He was pretty funny.

Some unintentional funniness, but, you know … We were having this conversation about how we like some of even the really dorky square things. (laughs) We just accept them because we love them so much.

Photo credit: Jim Rinaldi

What song do you most wish that you wrote?

There are so many other Brian things I’m starting to think of, like “The Warmth of the Sun.” That’s pretty up there for me. Rock records: “Like a Rolling Stone” or “Gimme Shelter.” Those things are just incredible. The way I always feel like, even with everybody I love, it takes more than one song. It feels like there has to be more than one. One alone never seems like enough. There is a moment where that record is so cool to me. It captures something. Lightning in a bottle.

What record would you say you have listened to more than any other in your life?

In high school and right out of high school, Big Star.

I liked Radio City and Sister Lovers/Third. I played those a ton. I want to say Pet Sounds, but almost as much is probably Surf’s Up. Stuff from Smile as well. I bought the Smile box set.

What records are you ashamed to have in your collection but still kind of love?

I guess I’m not ashamed about anything. (laughs) It would be like, “woo, you like that?” It would probably be the nerdier side of the Beach Boys. (laughs again) I was talking with my friend Rick about this. We went to The Modern | July/August 2012

Power pop is such an amazing musical art form, but it never quite catches on with the public. Why do you think that is?

I don’t know, really. Sometimes I think it gets more of a bad rap than it deserves. It’s also just how you want to categorize things. To me, power pop was The Beatles and The Byrds in early rock, and then in the Seventies there were all these incredible groups like The Raspberries and Cheap Trick and a million people. Dwight Twilley. All these cool things. Of course, Big Star. There was a wealth of great stuff with the people who kind of loved that kind of melodic music like those Sixties bands did. Then in New Wave, there is sort of a power pop thing about it anyway. That period was alright for it. I never wanted to categorize myself, but I never minded the name power pop, because I love to be in any group of importance of any kind. (laughs) Even if it’s the sad, neglected group.

When I meet people that are into it, they are just so into it, still. And I think there will be kids that are really into it. I think it’s just people that really want melody that are going to stray into what is considered power pop. They like rock & roll, but they prefer for it to be really melodic. People who maybe aren’t as into that, but maybe just like the image of a group and their sound, but probably don’t care as much. www.themodern.us

on broadway

So What’s Changed in the Old Neighborhood? Not Much Clybourne Park takes a hilarious but jarring look at race relations in America

By Tim Kraft The state of race relations in America is hardly a subject that hasn’t been tackled in the theater before.

Going all the way back to 1927’s controversial Show Boat, as audiences we’ve witnessed brutal racial injustice and left the theater mostly thankful and maybe even a bit smugly proud of how far we’ve come since then, both as individuals and a nation.

Well don’t get too comfortable yet. This is Clybourne Park, and playwright Bruce Norris is going to transform you from witness to participant, from observer to accomplice. And it’ll rock you out of your seat with both laughter and the astonishing realization that our beliefs and attitudes regarding race really haven’t changed at all, at least not in the past 50 years.

Clybourne Park unfolds in two parts. Act I takes place in 1959 as Russ (Frank Wood) and Bev (Christina Kirk) are about to sell their home to a black family in their exclusively white Chicago neighborhood, causing fear and panic up and down Clybourne Street. The community watchdog, Karl Lindner (Jeremy Shamos) spends the majority of the first act trying to convince Russ and Bev to back out of the deal for the common good, or at least in the interest of their neighbor’s property values! The absurdity of the predictions that fly left and right out of Karl’s mouth (“Where will they find their kind of food in our market?” and “We have no common interests, I mean I love to ski but have yet to see one of them on the slopes.”) are laughable by today’s excessively politically correct standards.

Flash forward to 2009 and Act II when Clybourne Park has become a solidly African–American neigborhood, and the tables have turned as community leader Lena (Crystal A. Dickinson) clashes with Lindsey (Annie Parisse) and Steve (Jeremy Shamos again), who also happen to be the first white couple to move back into the neighborhood in decades. They have grandiose renovation plans for the now dilapidated home sold back in ’59, but Lena sees gentrification on the horizon — and the loss of a neighborhood that her parents fought long and hard for to make their own.

The Modern | July/August 2012

While we may have seen shades of our grandparents on stage in Act I, we can’t help but see part of ourselves up there during Act II, and it’s not pretty. Aren’t lines like “half of my friends are black” and “I used to date a black guy” stated as proof of one’s commitment to inclusiveness, just liberally sanitized versions of the same sentiments that Karl Lindner expressed years earlier in that very same house? It’s certainly just as condescending, and the lengths to which these characters will go to

prove otherwise provide the biggest laughs of the evening while simultianeously tearing open the wounds of fifty years ago.

The cast is excellent all around, with a flawless performance delivered by Mr. Shamos. A special mention should be made to Daniel Ostling, whose inventive set is deconstructed and reconstructed eight times a week.

Don’t miss this one — Clybourne Park is hands-down one of the best nights of theater to be experienced on Broadway in years.

Tim Kraft is a corporate creative director full time, a freelance writer part time and an avid theatergoer all the time.

Clybourne Park has extended its limited run through September 2 at the Walter Kerr Theater in New York. For show times and tickets go to telecharge.com www.themodern.us

boardwalk empire

My Lost City Atlantic City gets its true story told by a native.

I grew up in Atlantic City, New Jersey, a place whose very name prompts all sorts of reactions from those whom I tell. Some responses are positive, some negative, but few people are neutral in their opinion of the city. I was born the year a September hurricane devastated the city; I graduated the local public high school the same spring a sudden nor’easter rearranged the inlets, swept away beaches and destroyed many houses. I left for college and military service and returned for no more than

Union Station stood at Arctic and Arkansas Avenues, locally pronounced “ARtik” and “ArkanSAS,” for the Pennsylvania-Reading Seashore Lines trains from Philadelphia and New York City. In summer the trains would arrive and depart the stub-end station on only a few minutes headway and large conventions even in the off-season brought many extra and extra-long trains to town. One could stand on the platforms to watch the excitement and hurry of the day-trippers, the tourists and the conventioneers and the taxis and hotel limousines that came to collect them. It was possible to walk out to

a few days at a time, most recently twenty-five years ago.

In 1980, soon after the advent of the casinos, a degenerate, tragicomic version of the city I knew appeared as backdrop in a Louis Malle film and I was reminded that Atlantic City had “floy-floy coming out of its ears in those days,” as the Burt Lancaster character tells it. But this is the Atlantic City I remember and which still lives in my memory – and my dreams: Streetcars ran the length of Atlantic Avenue, more than 7 miles from the Inlet to Longport, until the very middle of the 1950s, December 28, 1955. Hearing over and over again the motorman call out the stops allowed clever children to memorize the order of the avenues from the car barn at Captain Starn’s restaurant to the Douglass Avenue loop in Margate: Vermont Avenue, Connecticut Avenue, St. Charles Place, and so on around the Monopoly game-board. As a boy, I lived on some of the streets you may have hoped to land on when you were a child.

the round-house by the bay to watch the grimy panting beasts being hostled on the turntable on their way to or from their trains. Until the late 1950s, many of the locomotives were ancient oil-burning steamers put into service to handle the heavy seasonal traffic.

The many upscale hotels that lined the most fashionable stretch of the Boardwalk were open for inspection, hotels such as the Shelburne, the Dennis, the Marlborough-Blenheim, the Claridge, the Chalfonte-Haddon Hall and even the largest and swankiest in the tony row, the Traymore. A child could wander around their halls, sit for a while in the lobbies, peer into the lavish dining rooms and the plush lounges or sit in the wood-paneled libraries and fiddle with stationary at a writing desk to see how the well-off conducted their lives.

In summer, for a single modest admission, Steel Pier, jutting over 2000 feet out over the ocean, offered two first-run movie theaters; live stage performances by stars of the day; a children’s “Stars of Tomorrow” talent show;

By Barry Levy

The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

fun-houses, rides and exhibits; and a long midway of novelties, food and games. Capping the entertainment several times a day, there was a water circus at the outermost reach of the pier that featured clowns, a high-wire act and a “high-diving horse” that carried a swimsuitclad beauty on its reluctant leap into a tank on the stage.

On weekends, remnants of the big bands of an earlier time, like those of the Dorsey Brothers and Maynard Ferguson, played in the Marine Ballroom to late-night dancers as the moon rose over the sea and a half-mile away on shore the lights of the Boardwalk and the city sparkled.

The sum of little things made Atlantic City memories in summer: the droning low-flying 1920s-vintage biplanes that trailed advertising banners along the beach, their deep-throated radial engines straining to overcome a stiff headwind; a sudden shift to westerlies would bring swarms of mosquitoes and greenhead flies into the city

from the salt marshes; the 10-passenger blue and white jitneys, some converted from bread and milk delivery trucks, scurrying along Pacific Avenue; and the Globe, possibly the last burlesque theater along the Jersey shore, that featured the likes of “Cupcake” Cassidy, “Busty” Russell and Virginia “Ding Dong” Bell.

For local children, winter often seemed to be the best time; winter, when most Boardwalk shops were closed for the season and the ‘Walk, like the city’s streets, were virtually deserted by an early-hour nightfall. There was then time and opportunity to ride bicycles on the still and silent Boardwalk; the usual rules about such things suspended or forgotten. If it snowed, so much the better; riding a bicycle at night “on the boards” through a gently falling snow was to experience an exquisite soliwww.themodern.us

tude, a sense of being the only child left to explore an abandoned city.

Nearing each year’s end through the 1950s, tall Christmas tree displays were set up several blocks apart along the Boardwalk between the Steel Pier at Virginia Avenue and the Million Dollar Pier at Arkansas Avenue.

Each was bedecked with strings of brightly colored lights and decorations; each tree stood behind a low white picket fence that would not have stopped any would-be vandal but they were seldom disturbed.

By the early 1970s, however, decades of deferred maintenance, exorbitant property taxes, ingrained graft, a visceral inclination to clip tourists and poorlyconsidered, underfunded urban renewal projects made it clear Atlantic City was no longer “The World’s Playground,” an empty boast in the first place. With broader social and economic changes afoot in the country, any on-shore, highly-seasonal resort without a hook was doomed. A series of high-profile public corruption convictions made a perfect storm for change, any change.

Las Vegas “gaming” interests – certainly not gambling interests, the word was never used stepped up with an offer the city couldn’t refuse: new investment money and a chance for some of the old moneyed interests to take a quick profit and flee. Nearly all the major hotels in Atlantic City had been built in the first two decades of the twentieth century; some dated to the last two decades of the nineteenth. Stylish in their time, perhaps, vacationers now expected better accommodations and modern conveniences or they could as easily – and more cheaply – go elsewhere, by car or jet. The major amusement piers that anchored the Boardwalk were built between 1898 and 1906 and they had been so battered by repeated storms and recurrent fires until they were only the faintest echoes of what they had been.

The first state-wide ballot measure to allow casino gambling, in November 1974, was defeated; a second measure, just two years later, sponsored by a new slate of area politicians and promoted in a slicker campaign, was successful. The first casino, Resorts International, fleshed out on the skeleton of the Haddon Hall, opened on Memorial Day weekend in 1978. But of the days before casinos, we old-timers could say, like the Burt Lancaster character in that movie, Atlantic City “was something then. You should have seen the Atlantic Ocean in those days!”

Barry Levy now lives in the Pacific Northwest but he’ll always have “sand in his shoes.”

July/August 2012 | The Modern

grow it/show it

The Toni Home Permanent Here’s something fluffy that keeps your hair puffy!

By Jacqueline Kravitz Strauss Growing up, and for most of my life, I had poker straight hair; my little sister too. That is, until that fateful day when Mom decided to give us both Toni Home Permanents. I was 11, my sister, Sheila, 7.

Mom prepared everything for this event, doing it all herself.

First, the kitchen table was cleared, and plastic bib-like aprons were placed on each of us.

Mom brought out all the rods and the lotions that were to be used in order that two kids with poker straight hair would become two kids with beautiful curls who’d look just like Shirley Temple. That was the plan.

The bottles of lotion were uncapped, and the horrid smell of them permeated the room just as they were going to “perm”-eate us! First Mom asked us to hand her the little square papers that would be wrapped around each portion of our locks. Our hair was divided into sections, and one after the other, first a paper, then a curler.....then a paper, then a curler, until every inch of our heads was covered with pink rods.

“You’re hurting me,” I said. Mom said, ”They have

Hair Do-Over Down Under Here’s their version of the Toni Home Permanent!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apZCtk-l7lE&feature=relmfu

The Modern | July/August 2012

to be tight.” It felt like my head was being squeezed in a vise. I couldn’t wait until it was over and these awful things would be removed.

Then came the lotion. I said, “I can’t stand the smell. It’s making my eyes water.” Mom said, “Here, hold this rag over your face. Now, lean back into the kitchen sink.” She applied the neutralizer. It burned, it smelled, but I was assured it would be worth all this trouble in order to look beautiful. The torture seemed endless.

Seeing what I’d just faced, my little sister was ready to run away from home. But Mom caught her and made her go through the same exact process as I just had.

After waiting for what seemed an eternity, it was time to rinse out the lotions and reveal our curly tresses. And there they were. Well, I didn’t look exactly like Shirley Temple, and neither did my sister. I’d say we looked more like Little Orphan Annies. Our hair was so curly we could’ve fallen on our heads and bounced!

I dreaded going to school that Monday, praying I wouldn’t be teased about my bushy coif. And it’s PERMANENT! I’d have to endure it for months.

What would I do?

Well, after several weeks, my perm calmed down a little, and I was finally beginning to like it. But my sister’s seemed to never calm down. And she swears that perm is the reason she has frizzy, bushy hair today! I really don’t think that’s possible; a perm that’s really permanent and lasts a lifetime? But the hair tells the tale! It’s never been straight since!

Jackie Strauss is a Philadelphia-based writer who is married with children and grandchildren, and who enjoys spending her Saturday nights on the all-nostalgia talk show Remember When on WPHT 1210 AM along with co-hosts Steve Ross and Jim Murray. www.themodern.us

m dern is smokin’! the

The Modern is targeted toward 65 million baby boomers and their babies.

For advertising info,

email us at info@themodern.us Your life in retro. The past is very now.

by design

Mark Mussari

Cutlery on the Cutting Edge A classic film immortalized a place setting

By Mark Mussari When director Stanley Kubrick was looking for the perfect space-age place setting for his astronauts to use in his classic, futuristic film 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), he found it in some utensils designed in the late 1950s. The five-piece stainless-steel setting was originally designed by Danish architect Arne Jacobsen for the SAS Royal Hotel in Copenhagen — the world’s first boutique hotel.

Jacobsen, now famous for his Egg and Swan chairs, designed every aspect of the SAS Hotel, from the doorknobs to the light fixtures to the glassware. His goal was to create a total experience — a gesamtkunstverk (or total work of art) — that would envelop visitors in a modernist setting. The characters in Mad Men never had it so good.

Looking at the various designs for the hotel — many of which are still in production — you perceive immediately that Jacobsen liked curved, sculptural shapes.

He eschewed joints and seams whenever he could: his goal was always a sense of oneness, along with designs that seemed to float. That’s why the Egg and Swan have no legs and swivel, instead, on a pedestal. Their shapes draw the eye upward, away from the base. Arranged in a room, the chairs seem to float. www.themodern.us

The AJ place setting follows suit. No seam exists between the base of each utensil and its bowl, blade or tines. Instead Jacobsen crafted a solid shape — a single form — removing the emphasis away from the more common joint or attachment between handle and function. The forks feature only three tines, further uniting the shape not only of each individual fork but also of the forks with the other utensils. The knife is intentionally asymmetrical. Asked once for his design philosophy, Jacobsen replied: “As thin as possible — and never in the middle.”

In an age when fine hotels always used silver in their dining rooms, Jacobsen — like a true modernist — designed his cutlery in the more commonplace stainless steel. Still, he worked with the revered Danish silver company Georg Jensen to produce it. No one had ever seen anything like it.

The AJ cutlery was not an immediate hit. In fact, when the hotel opened, the Danish news sent a reporter to try to eat peas with it in an attempt to prove that it was more design than function. In time, the hotel even replaced the AJ cutlery with more traditional utensils. Perhaps it was better suited to outer space than fine dining.

But the design found a life of its own — and has been in continuous production since its introduction in 1957.

Kubrick may have had to design futuristic items for his space-age movie, but his use of the AJ cutlery indicates that he knew the design was already ahead of its time. You see the cutlery briefly — held by the actor Keir Dullea — while the Jupiter Mission crew eats dinner and watches the news.

We’re 11 years beyond 2001 now, yet Jacobsen’s mid20th-century designs continue to charm with their sleek minimalist shapes. And maybe this explains their enduring allure. They still speak of looking ahead and of the positive belief in the idea of the space age that existed in the 1950s and 1960s. In their simple forms, they function like visitors from a streamlined, ultra-clean future that never quite came to be. It’s as if Hal — the anesthetic computerized voice in 2001 — is telling us: “Eat your peas. But don’t expect it to be easy.”

More than this, Jacobsen’s designs continue to remind us that true style has nothing to do with excess or ornamentation and everything to do with class.

Mark Mussari writes frequently about art and design.

July/August 2012 | The Modern

retro sports

Soften the Protection — Soften the Players Cashy puts his two cents in on the risk of removing risk.

By Mitch Gainsburg I’m not going back to the leatherheads of the NFL or the maskless goalies of the 1960s, but the amount of equipment supported by today’s contact sport athletes needs review. It’s a fact that today’s NFL player is more willing to tackle head first or jet their entire body into another player without a second thought. An NHL hockey player will lie flat out to block a 100mph slap shot because he’s armored up like a Sherman tank.

I single out these two professional sports because they accumulate the most injuries or concussion cases. Now, I’m not a doctor nor do I have any medical experience whatsoever, but it’s clear as day to anyone paying attention. In order to stop concussions and major injuries, these sports have produced equipment that protects the body from impact but impacts the body it protects. Confused? Don’t be. Remember the leather helmets of the early days of the NFL? Which would you rather get impacted by: a solid hard plastic, or a soft leather pad? Look, you don’t

try to punch a person in the forehead. Enough said.

The NHL got a clue in the 1980s with mandatory helmets for all players. Now if they could just take it one step further and do the same for face shields. The problem I see is all the equipment and protection they have makes players take chances, not because they want to, but because they can, and without fear. That’s where it all changes.

The players in the NFL are too big and fast. The speed of an NHL contest has tripled from the 1970s.

The athletes are torpedoes, well armed and quite dangerous. These leagues need to soften up their players before their brains become mush. Start by softening up the equipment.

Funny, as a kid, injuries were few and far between and weren’t major sport stories. Now just the amount of injuries makes it a huge story. Soften the protection, change the mindset, and lesson the injuries.

Mitch Gainsburg a.k.a. Cashy the King, is host of Sports Goombahs radio show and webcast www.sgshow.net The Sports Goombahs www.sgshow.net

retro quiz

The All-Star Game Hey, now.You’re an All-Star. Get your game on. Go play.

By William Shultz 1. Where was the first All-Star game held and in what year?

2. Where will it be played this year?

3. Which stadiums/ballparks held it the most times?

4. How are the managers picked?

5. Who has hit the most home runs in all the games he appeared in?

1. Chicago, Comiskey Park – 1933. 2. Kansas City, Kauffman Stadium. 3. New York’s Yankee Stadium (the original) and Cleveland’s Municipal Stadium, 4 times each. 4. They are the managers of the pennant winners from the previous year. 5. Stan Musial - 6

The Modern | July/August 2012

www.themodern.us

love letters

Hand Written Love Letters A note written by hand, not text, carries more memory.

By Desiree Dymond I was in the smoky apartment of a possible-alcoholic friend doing the usual thing an underage female might do, drink beer. My friends and I had just finished work for the night at the restaurant where we were employed. It was the spring of 1997 and the band Sister Hazel was playing from a little CD player in the background. The only furniture in the small, sad apartment was a futon that looked like it needed a wash.

Luckily, I happened to have tissues in my bag to avoid an uncomfortable bathroom situation. It was that kind of apartment. Things were going as usual; we were all talking about how much work sucked and how we all wanted to get

the hell out of the Midwest one day. Suddenly, several hot guys walked in through the door. They were tall, skinny musician types. I just about had a heart attack. After an inquiry, I was quickly told that the guy I was interested in was invited to the party to be set up with a friend of mine. So I gave up the idea of talking to him immediately, and went about my business complaining about how terrible it was to live the life of waiting tables and spending all the cash tips we made afterwards to drink away our troubles, instead of saving to get ourselves out of our current monotonous situations.

The Modern | July/August 2012

I thought I noticed the mystery hot guy staring at me from across the room. I was freakily scared from my inexperience of talking to guys I found attractive.

My seasoned denial kicked in, and I decided it must have been a figment of my very active imagination. So I did a brilliant job of ignoring his electrifying gaze.

He finally caught me passing by the take-out-littered kitchen and introduced himself. I could barely speak.

I somehow told him my name and he and his friends invited me to take a walk out to their car to get their guitars. I had guessed right; they were a band, and they were going to play a set at the party.

We walked out into the moonlight and my crush and I exchanged stories. He was a musician in this band, and they were trying to get a record deal so they could go on tour. I was impressed. I told him my plans were to save up enough money to get out of my hometown and make it to New York City. It was a chilly night, so he gave me his worn-in leather jacket to wear. I put my hands in the pockets and pulled out a guitar pick and a little roach.

“What’s this?” I asked, knowing very well what it was.

“Oh that? I don’t know.” He took it from me, and showed it to his friends.

“What is this thing?” A chorus of “I don’t knows” ensued with snickering laughter as each guy passed it around for an exaggerated, scientific inspection. It made its way back into my pocket before we arrived back inside.

Listening to the band playing their acoustic punk music on the lone dirty futon in the barren apartment was a night to remember. Through a haze of smokescented cheap beer I fell in love for the first time.

Suddenly I found myself becoming somewhat of a groupie. I’d find out what parties the band would be playing at, and what upcoming gigs they were performing. I’d show up and pretend I’d just been passing through, and act pleasantly surprised that his band just happened to be playing that night. My guitarist would show up at the restaurant I worked at and invite www.themodern.us

me out, but claim he was really there because he was home and take a shot at living happily ever after with just hungry. He taught me some chords on the guitar the possible love of my life. and we’d sing songs together from Jewel’s first album The day I arrived home he called me and told me that had just come out. He’d write me little notes, and he wanted to see me right away. Filled with joy at his poems on pieces paper he’d shove randomly into my eagerness, I agreed to meet him, despite how tired I jeans pocket from time to time (vintage Nineties text was from my recent move out of the city, and the chaos messaging), and I’d return with the same. We’d sit of going through connecting airports alone with large around the living rooms of small house parties and amounts of luggage. We met in a random parking lot jam into the early hours of the mornto talk. I ran out of my car to greet him ing. We’d sit outside on the ground and jumped into his arms like a scene He’d write me and look upon the clear, dark Midout of Gone with the Wind. Then I nowestern sky and marvel at how bright ticed something was wrong. little notes, the stars were and compare how many “You didn’t move back here for constellations we each knew. It was me, did you?” he asked. I didn’t know and poems on what to say. He went on to say how he exactly the idyllic, romantic times that one never forgets from their youth. didn’t want a relationship with me and Then came the summer of 1997. that he’d just assumed that he’d never pieces paper I’d reached my goal of saving enough see me again after I left for New York, money to do a summer acting proso what he wrote in the letter was not he’d shove gram in New York City. Our early something that I should have develforming love affair would have to be oped any expectations from. Then he randomly into cut short. After a sweet kiss goodbye, asked me what my expectations were. I he handed me a formal letter in a was still too dumbstruck to answer. So my jeans pocket he just kept repeating that he thought sealed envelope.

“Don’t read this until you are on he’d never see me again, and wanted the plane,” he instructed me. I prom- from time to time to know what my expectations were. ised I wouldn’t, and could barely conI half listened without responding for tain my excitement at what the letter (vintage Nineties a long time, in a state of spaced-out might say. stupor. Petrified with humiliation, I The next day I was on the plane, not reveal what my true intentext messaging). could opening my letter. It told of how glad tions had been for him. he was that he had met me and what “No, whatever man. It’s cool,” I fibad timing it was that we couldn’t spend the rest of the nally said, as I slowly backed away from him towards summer together. He said he would think of me every my car. night, and that if we both looked up at the moon at the “I just, uh… yeah, I gotta go.” same time each night then we’d be gazing upon it toI needed to get away as fast as I could before I burst gether. I thought that was incredibly romantic. I must into tears. I felt that the lump in my throat was going have read the letter 20 times before the plane touched to choke me to death, and the sinking feeling in my down in New York. stomach was almost enough to make me get sick right He wrote me several handwritten love letters there in the parking lot. We parted ways in the now throughout the summer. I’d read each of them many seemingly dark, evil mess of gravel that was posing as times before I’d go to bed. My head was full of lust as the innocent parking lot host of my despair. He stood I’d gaze up at the moon each night and imagine him against his car with his hands in his pockets and his doing the same. I thought of him day and night. I legs crossed as he watched me drive off with the beauimagined him walking next to me on the sidewalk on tiful sun setting behind the trees in the distance. my way to school in the morning, and held a pillow in I had taken a risk. I had lost. my arms at night pretending it was him. He was like a drug, and I was high on him all summer.

Desiree Dymond is a model, singer/ As the summer came to a close, I had to make a songwriter and blogger residing in New York City. decision: to stay in New York City and pursue an acting career, or go back home to the Midwest to see what might happen with this guy. In my hopelessly romantic mind I decided the right decision was to come www.themodern.us

July/August 2012 | The Modern

ode to joysticks

Diablo Made Us Do It A generation clicked with the complicated subtlety behind this gaming sensation.

By Silvan Carlson-Goodman Diablo III came out recently and it made a very large splash. Blizzard, the company behind it, is famous for making the Warcraft and Starcraft series of games as well as Diablo. Most of their games have the tendency to claim the crown of the highest selling computer game of all time. They then hold that title for a while, usually until the next Blizzard title comes and snaps it away.

And it seems that everyone in the world remembers that besides Blizzard themselves. The big story around the launch of the Diablo III is that they were ill prepared for the demand. The game requires a constant connection to Blizzard’s servers to play it and the amount of people trying to log in to the game at launch caused those servers to crash.

Perhaps they were hesitant to sink a bunch of money into servers that might not see use due to an unpopular game. Of course, even a cursory glance at any Internet message board on the topic would show you that anticipation for the game had grown to a fever pitch in the 12 years since Diablo II came out.

This debacle has had the unfortunate effect of taking up all of the journalistic attention of the game. Nobody has any time to discuss the actual content of the game because they are too busy trying to figure out what this says about Blizzard’s marketing and the world of gaming going forward. This will affect Diablo III’s legacy for months or years to come. Articles on the game will forever be branded with an introductory paragraph about the games turgid launch. The good news for us, though, is that we don’t need to focus on the present, and we can instead spend our time looking at what made the original two games worthy of such fervor.

The Modern | July/August 2012

The first Diablo was released in 1996 to massive critical acclaim. Like so many other games, its roots clearly originate in Dungeons & Dragons. From the beginning you choose a class from the cardinal three (Warrior, Rogue, Sorcerer) and find yourself thrust into a dungeon where you must make your way to the bottom and slay Diablo. There is certainly more story than that but it doesn’t matter; trust me, I have been playing these games for close to two decades now and I read a lot of plot summaries in preparation for this article and yet I still have barely any understanding of what’s going on. What I can ascertain is that there are angels fighting demons as the generic representations of good vs. evil. And humans are caught in the middle. It’s high-fantasy schlock that you would expect to find in a musty paperback in a used bookstore. But it does its job, because it may be garbage, but in the end it is propulsive garbage. It’s difficult to parse exactly why Diablo is below a cathedral, but the goal to slay him is clear and direct.

In my previous article, I discussed the idea that all of the best video games are built around the central conceit of a verb. The idea is that gaming experiences give the opportunity to explore actions much better than they offer insight on ideas or concepts due to their interactive nature. In this way, Zelda is about exploring, QWOP is about running, and Shadow of the Colossus is about being awestruck. Anyone who has played any of the Diablo games can probably fill in what comes next: what makes the series of games special is that they care very little about virtual verbs. You walk and you swing a sword or throw a fireball, but all of these actions are somewhat stilted and never really visceral.

Diablo instead engrosses the player with the real www.themodern.us

world action of clicking.

For starters, you click where you want to walk, and you click enemies to attack them, you then click on treasure chests to open them, and you click again to pick up all of the treasure. As the minutes turn into hours, your hand stops feeling any physical separation from the mouse (and by extension, the character) and you begin clicking to kill. You click when you want to express basic human urges; you click to make things die and you keep clicking until all of the foul demons of hell are destroyed. It’s a satisfying one-to-one catharsis that leaves very little to be desired in terms of purely distilled pleasure.

There is much talk these days in the game design industry of the Skinner Box design: The Skinner Box was an experiment involving a mouse inside a box with a button that, when pressed, would provide food or water. The findings were that, even after the button’s functionality was taken away, the mouse would continue pushing the button. Thus follows that the simplest way to get a person to keep playing your game is to offer them a button that gives them immediate happiness feedback in some form. The feedback can be pleasing aural or visual stimulus, or in Diablo’s case, wondrous treasure. It is worrisome to think about how that design mechanic could be used for evil in all sorts of ways, but it is not necessarily always bad. Diablo thrives solely on its Skinner Box contraption.

And if there is one thing that Blizzard most cerwww.themodern.us

tainly understands about their game design, it’s that exact design philosophy. This can be seen by looking at the elements that stayed the same throughout the three games. For example, in all three games, when you open a chest, the armor and weapons tumble up into the air with the most satisfying swoosh and then land on the ground with a solid metal thud. They then lay there at your feet, ready to be picked up like delicious candy. And that’s exactly what the whole game is: candy. The zombies make pleasant squishy noises when you smack them and the demons let out soothing bass groans when they die. All of that is surrounded by a game where you are constantly watching your stat numbers increase as you level up your character and get better and better equipment. It’s a simple mechanism full of simple pleasures that anyone could enjoy. And while it’s true that it will never be the shining example that proves that video games can be transcendent and artful, but not every game needs to be that. While HBO was wowing the world with The Sopranos, millions of people still tuned in every day to watch Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.

And sometimes, all you need is the soothing tones of Alex Trebek’s voice, or to just melt into your chair after a long day at work and lay waste to the minions of hell.

Silvan Carlson-Goodman grew up in Brooklyn where he played video games instead of going to school.

July/August 2012 | The Modern

retro tech

Adventures in Modern Sound

By Art Wilson Late spring of 1971 I received a call from Tom, a musician colleague, who offered an interesting opportunity. He had recommended me to audition for the road company of a rock musical.

The Last Sweet Days of Isaac, written by Gretchen Cryer and Nancy Ford, recently closed in New York as an off-Broadway production. It had won three Obies,

had to resign those positions to go on the road.

Our musician rehearsals were based on the show’s scorebook, and we used the original cast recording as a reference.

About a week before going to Chicago, we met the producers and cast members in New York at a Broadway rehearsal studio. We roughly went over the musical numbers.

I drove my car to Chicago, toting my musical gear,

I drove my car to Chicago, toting my musical gear, and my bicycle, and Marty and Dave’s car towed a trailer holding the Hammond organ and the drum kit.

a Drama Desk Award, and an Outer Critics Circle Award.

A Villanova University professor and a local Philadelphia businessman were producing the road company of Isaac, planning to start its tour in Chicago. The three musicians would be Philadelphia-based, and the actors would originate from the New York theatrical scene.

I auditioned at musical director Marty’s house, with Dave, the percussionist, present. I was hired as guitarist, and we set up a rehearsal schedule. In several weeks we would be moving to Chicago.

I had been performing with a theatrical club band and had a weekly schedule of private music students. I The Modern | July/August 2012

and my bicycle, and Marty and Dave’s car towed a trailer holding the Hammond organ and the drum kit.

Delaware and Rush Streets was the location of The Happy Medium Theater, and most of us checked into suites at the Delaware Towers Hotel across the street. Rush Street was a bustling entertainment center, with theaters and cabarets.

While carpenters built the set, we rehearsed with the cast, crew, and production staff.

Tony Tanner was director, and our lead (Isaac) was played by Lewis J. Stadlen, who had recently starred as www.themodern.us

a young Groucho Marx in the Broadway production of Minnie’s Boys, with Shelley Winters.

Our three-piece band was part of a “Greek chorus” called Liberty, consisting of cast members singing, accompanied by us. All would be visible on stage.

We experienced the excitement of previews, and then an opening night, and waiting up almost all night for the reviews in the four major Chicago newspapers.

Two reviews were positive, and two were negative.

The box office receipts were initially adequate, but fell off, causing the show to close in a month, with no chance of continuing on tour.

But during that summer in Chicago, we were somehow surrounded by a concentration of great things to come in entertainment.

Punchinello’s was a rathskeller piano bar on Rush Street. Our cast relaxed there after our performances or on off nights, along with actors from another show.

Ours was a unionized, professional production while theirs was an amateur musical. It had an unusual rock and roll nostalgia theme for the time. We could not see each other’s shows because their schedule coincided with ours. Yes! It was the original Grease. Dick Clark had seen this Chicago version of Grease and later took it to New York, and the rest is history!

Jesus Christ Superstar began as a record album and evolved into a touring concert. A few of us went to see it at the outdoor Ravinia Festival. And in New York, a Broadway musical version of Superstar was in production. My Chicago roommate, Christopher (stage name), had previously auditioned for the part of Judas and received a callback notice. When Isaac closed, he returned for that New York audition. However, I heard that Ben Vereen got the part. The next phase, then, was the film version.

Our theater’s owners also ran the cabaret Mister Kelly’s, on Rush Street. Our cast and director went to see the opening act for Mort Sahl, an up-and-coming Bette Midler. There were about twenty people in the audience. Her performance was as phenomenal as it would ever be, and she came off the stage to meet us.

In the nearby Old Town neighborhood was the Second City improvisational group. I regret not having the chance to visit. Many of the future Saturday Night Live players were appearing there in that era.

So you see, 1971 in Chicago was prophetic for show biz and a wonderful and memorable summer.

Art Wilson is a Philadelphia-based musician, teacher, software specialist and retired chemist.

retro check w

You’re Sixteen?

We all get older — even the young chicks celebrated in song.

You’re Sixteen Johnny Burnette

Year of Release: 1960 Her Current Age: 68

www.themodern.us

You’re Sixteen Ringo Starr

Year of Release: 1974 Her Current Age: 54

July/August 2012 | The Modern

Christine Sixteen Kiss

Year of Release: 1977 Her Current Age: 51

Sweet Little Sixteen Chuck Berry

Year of Release: 1958 Her Current Age: 70

dig this dvd

The Dick Cavett Show

John & Yoko Collection (Shout! Factory–2005) Imagine no John Lennon: this asshole/hypocrite shows us the very definition of “overinflated ego.”

By Ronald Sklar It’s 1971 and John Lennon is now thirtysomething. His life, finally, is getting interesting. Always on the cutting edge, this time he is on the verge of getting his peacenik ass thrown out of the United States, and not just because he is inflicting Yoko Ono on a nation who never asked for her.

Facing deportation for drug possession (and other things that offend President Nixon), Lennon, along with his shadow (Ono), make one of two appearances on ABC’s The Dick Cavett Show. If anything, the rock legend gives the audience its money’s worth; Lennon is practically shot out of a cannon — funny, angry, bratty, antsy, loving, cheeky, cranky, and, and as always — taking his precious time to tell us how we are supposed to think about the world. Lennon does the thinking for us because we’re too busy making a living to figure it out for ourselves.

“The censor has an oxygen tent standing by,” Cavett warns us regarding his infamous guests. The struggling talk show is watched by an intellectual elite that has not received its Nielsen ratings books in the mail. Designed as a youth-culture alternative to the more middle-American The Tonight Show, Cavett is urbane but somehow desperate — when not feeling lukewarm. It’s marketThe Modern | July/August 2012

ed as an underdog, but the series’ flop sweat soaks through its undergarments and it shows. On the surface, it seems to have everything going for it, but with the exception of these occasionally spectacular visitors, it eventually drops the ball on its design to be a groovy alternative to the humdrum fare geared toward The Silent Majority over on NBC. The difficult recipe for easy-going, unselfconscious TV hipness is not yet quite baked, and Cavett seems a bit too show-bizzy for its intended audience (the house band plays a square, swingin’ version of “Come Together” when Lennon and Ono are introduced).

About a decade later, Late Night with David Letterman would put a merciful end to this schism.

We see Cavett, apparently under enormous pressure from the network because of disappointing ratings, literally sweating it out under the hot lights. His jittery hepcat vibe is a pale imitation of Johnny Carson’s, who mastered the concept more naturally, even though Carson no longer had designs on a young, hip audience. As well, Cavett’s attempts at monologues and shtick are painful and unnecessary. At one point, he auctions off his necktie to the studio audience (for no apparent reason other than to be unpredictably off the wall). And for their first appearance, Lennon and Ono request that Cavett not do a monologue (this is diva-like, but score a point for them — the studio audience and Cavett himself seem just as relieved).

The couple, with lots of time and money on their hands, have an agenda. Tirelessly promoting world peace seems like a noble cause at first, but Lennon’s condescending attitude toward everyone and everything (the network, the government, and even the audience), though justified, cancels out his urgent message. What doesn’t help is the unceasing echo of his tedious peace anthem, “Imagine,” which is a solid hit at this time and yet ironically is not more than casually mentioned during these appearances. (Thank Goodness. Worst song ever.)

Saying that Yoko Ono is a real drag is not just putting it mildly: she smokes up a storm (along with her husband), and Lennon obediently lights her cigarettes for her like a pussy-whipped English gentlewww.themodern.us

man. By 1971, the anti-smoking movement has real legs and is radical in its fervor, yet Lennon and his wife do not honor that cause, nor care to.

His hair is cut short (very un-Beatle-like, probably with great ironic cause) and he wears a U.S. Army jacket that was given to him in an airport by a vet. (Great ironic idea!) Ono is wearing hotpants and doing her mysterious/exotic/avant garde /Gandhi thing.

Lennon proclaims her to be “the most famous unknown artist,” as if this is a bad thing, but he is determined to change that, whether we like it or not. The appearances turn into a sneaky promotional tool for Ono, in which she unashamedly shills her “book of instructions,” called Grapefruit (“now available in paperback”).

In it, she advises the reader to listen to another person’s body with a stethoscope (Lennon performs this exercise on Cavett). They also eat up a good five or ten minutes by showing prototype music videos (deadly dull by today’s standards), and finally performing a song or two (Ono accompanies the actual legitimate musicians on bongos). One of these tunes is the meant-tobe-misunderstood “Woman Is the Nigger of the World,” which is banned by ABC. (Naturally!) Ono screeches — America sits up in bed, jarred awake.

“Your voice is so unique,” Cavett tells her, apparently as a compliment.

Also appearing on one of the programs is “peculiar ad man” Stan Freberg, who is actually more effective than Lennon in his anti-war communication by unveiling a series of radio commercials, urging Americans to send telegrams to their senators to end our involvement in Vietnam by the close of 1971 (alas, the war would drone on for another two years).

In the 1972 offering, a newly hippified Shirley MacLaine makes a campaign stop for Nixon opponent George McGovern. However, the ABC censors will not allow her to promote her candidate, so she subversively wears a smattering of McGovern buttons instead. She boasts very proudly and urgently about how she is down with the people, because she has just rubbed elbows with the “real” America (waitresses, bowlers, cab drivwww.themodern.us

ers). Like the Lennons, she means well, yet her attempt at connecting ultimately delivers as condescending and insulting (“they” want to be told the truth, MacLaine reveals about the little people).

The typical buzzwords of the day are mentioned with ease: pollution, overpopulation, the Pentagon Papers, Richard Nixon, Jerry Rubin and the plight of the American Indian roll off everyone’s bitter tongues. As well, Lennon shrugs off the popular and unwavering opinion that Ono broke up the Beatles. (He says that if this is the case, then we should actually thank her for the great music that McCartney, Lennon, Harrison and Starr have released as solo acts after the breakup! Thank you, Yoko!) Lennon also philosophizes that if all soldiers and politicians took their trousers down, there would be world peace, and that “if the establishment don’t understand it, they can’t kill it.”

You can’t help but wonder about the Lennons: are they for real, or are we being put on? When they describe how they talked to the press while draped in head-to-toe bags (to eliminate racial discrimination and encourage total communication), we try to understand but we ultimately have our patience tested and we roll our eyes.

Yet, when Lennon makes a plea to Ono’s ex-husband to allow Ono to share custody for her daughter, it’s a genuine and touching moment.

This authentic moment rings especially true when you consider that Lennon himself left and neglected his first family, wife Cynthia and son Julian. As well, when Lennon proclaims that he is still working class and not intellectual, and that “you feel music — you don’t intellectualize it,” or when he dreams of he and Ono as an old retired couple on the south coast of Ireland, it’s as true as it’s going to get. And it’s hard to dislike a fella who, in the age of Mott the Hoople, digs good old-fashioned-American-Fifties rock-and-roll, and yet still remains relevant and influential. There is no getting around it — he is someone to watch, even if the asshole you are watching is a posing phony.

Upon completion of the three-disk set, you’re not sure whether you’ve witnessed a steaming slice of history or an SCTV sketch.

July/August 2012 | The Modern

parting

sh t

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEBO64kWBHY In 1980, the ever-struggling KYW news broadcast decided to blatantly steal the ever-struggling working-class audience of #1-rated WPVI. How? By showing (in song and film clips) that they were down with the people. And here’s the unsuccessful result. Perhaps working-class Philadelphians would not be pandered to as easily as KYW thought.

Yet the attempt was noble. Here we see Philadelphia at its working-class best, including “the future Rockys playing hockey in the street.”

Don’t forget all the other working-class signposts: the Italian Market, and, of course, The Jersey Shore (long before its present heinous incarnation).

To soften our sentiment, we’re reminded that “the pretzel’s soft, the pizza’s hot, the tales are tall.” And we witness the Seventies-era Philly working class — with no tattoos and very little obesity! They happily mug for the KYW cameras, but they ultimately do not watch its newscast.

Ronald Sklar