CYMO | Memento | July 2022 by The Carrier - JBLCFB

Vol. 18, July 2022 CYMO is the official Literary Folio of The Carrier. Published by the students, alumni, faculty and staff of John B. Lacson Colleges Foundation (Bacolod), Inc. All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the permission of the publisher. Works that appear in this folio may contain themes, graphics, and topics some may find disturbing. Reader discretion is advised.

GROWTH LITERARY EDITOR Carlo Miguel Barodi LAYOUT & PAGE ARTIST Emmy Nava ART DIRECTOR Ruer Torculas GRAPHIC ARTIST Beanne Jaca PHOTOGRAPHERS Nele Stephen Pacurib Vince Dave Duquilla Bab Christian Sanchez

Illustration by Emmy Nava

Introduction “Change can be difficult, but it is how we are able to grow. It can be the hardest thing in the world to realize that you can’t hold on to something or someone forever, and sometimes, the best thing we can do is let it go. Life is after all, nothing but an endless and earth are merely resting places for the elers, souls filled with countless different memories, by letting go we allow ourselves in our journey.

journey, heaven myriad of travexperiences and to move forward

But of all the things you let go, you’d be surprised to find what makes its way back to you.” Humans are forgetful creatures, often needing guidance in a world unknown. In this issue of CYMO, let us be reminded that in every struggle and obstacle we face we inch closer and closer to our goals. Every tear shed; every memory made, has all come down to make who we are right now. Let us rediscover what we are capable of, and how far we can go, while taking in a bit of everything while we still can. And should you ever get lost in this ever-confusing universe of ours, know that you are not alone, may this small memento help you remember all you have overcome and risen above, even if it is in the smallest way.

Carlo Miguel O. Barodi

Literary Editor

TIMELINE Chapter I. Childhood 2 Birthright 4 Middle 6 Chicken Nuggets 8 Barkada 9 Bagong Simula 10 Quiddity 12 Idunn in Mirrors 15 Surplus 17 Dreading Night 18 The Wanderlust 19 Ignotus 21 Afterthought 22 From the Grave Chapter II. Adulthood 26 Rise

Why do I keep Moving

27 with High Speed?

28 Scars 32 Stars befall tomorrow 34 The Best and Worst 36 Crossing Minds 38 Sixteen 40 Aftermath of no guidance 42 In time 43 Sonder

44 The Golden Child 47 Ahon 48 Cling 49 Gentle, Self 50 The Great Perhaps 52 A Fleeting Moment Chapter III. Old Age 54 How far we’ve come 56 The Old Sailor 58 Never Alone 61 Longing Heart 62 Horologium 64 Dead before you know it 65 Silver Lining 66 Surreal POV 68 Points End 69 End. Home. Life. 70 Six 73 Acknowledgements 74-75 Snippets 76-77 References

BIRTHRIGHT

Carlo Miguel O. Barodi In the beginning there was nothing, an empty void filled the space of the universe, From the darkest corners of the abyss, a tiny spark is ignited. Embers of unknown origin, growing in warmth and intensity, A bright luminous flash signals the dawn of all things. As eternity opens its eyes, the universe breathes a breath of splendor, And so came forth the universe, in all its glory and riches. Crowned in starlight, and robbed in shimmering sunshine On its wings glittered the brilliance of countless worlds, As light unspeakable shined through. Alas the world was still empty, a husk ready to be filled. And so, by its will the universe created life. Bursting forth from dirt and sea came creatures of all form and manner, Each shape contributes to a greater purpose, serving a hidden power. Yet, once again the universe felt unsatisfied, a foresight seeking more, A protector was needed, one capable and strong, ruling with heart and valor. With eyes to see and hands to make, with voice to speak and love to share, With mind to think and courage to spare, and so hope began to take form. It begins with a child, As the universe forms around this one and only son. Within his eyes, displays a miracle, one that had yet to be seen. And for the first-time the universe saw tomorrow, it saw past the bordering darkness. For the first time it was inspired, And for the first time, it was able to grow.

BEACON

Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

Middle

Sino Nomine Middle. Studies. Love. I saw him. I liked him. It felt like I love him. I was astonished by his talents, which were frequently exhibited at our school and on media platforms. Despite being depressed and unsociable, he was able to create such amazing works of art. He saved me, and his art saved me. I was enthralled by his works of art, drowning in a sea of fragmented thoughts. Words cannot describe my appreciation to him for freeing me from anguish. When he finally noticed me at his favorite fast food place, I was ecstatic. Despite numerous failed attempts, I still had the courage and confidence to approach him on a daily basis in a variety of ways. Receiving his last nugget from his favorite meal was such a lovely memory. The moment he handed it to me was of such significance fot it. It left me with the impression that there would be more interactions in the future, especially since he said, “see you.” His graduation day arrived, I was there to witness my schoolmates, particularly him, graduate with flying colors. I went to see him and greeted him with flowers as a token of respect and congratulations on his graduation. But, much to my surprise, he grabbed my arm, kissed me without hesitation, and whispered something into my ear. “Wait for me.” As he faded away with the crowd, I stood there staring at his rear figure. I am waiting, my Captain.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca 5

CHICKEN NUGGETS Captain Nemo

Beginnings. Food. Laugh. It was rush hour, and ravenous tummies were on their way to order their food. The line is growing longer, and the seats are nearly all occupied. As an antisocial, I was secretly praying for a seat, a seat that would simply be provided to me because I am extremely timid. The line is getting shorter and shorter, and my turn is approaching. As usual, I ordered chicken nuggets. It's plausible that one bite will make all of my worries disappear. Its tenderness offers me comfort, and its softness makes me feel good. But that isn't the trouble here; my seat is. Just as I finished my order, a girl approached me and indicated that the seat in front of her was not taken because she, too, was alone. I sat there, showing no traces of embarrassment, despite the fact that I was famished.

I saw in the corner of my eye, on the third bite of my nuggets, how she radiates, like if she's the only one in the room. A faint call of my name is gradually becoming more audible. I was completely unaware that she was talking to me. She was aware of my existence. She claimed she was constantly talking to me since she admires me and my artwork, and we both attend the same university. After a few minutes of conversation, the scowl on my face had vanished. Our table, the room, was filled with mirth. I had the finest laughter of the week. I only recently realized that I had been sad and stressed the entire time. I offered her one extra nugget as a mark of my gratitude as I finished my lunch and left the establishment. I expressed my appreciation and said something I didn't intend to say. “See you!”

BARKADA JRA

Mga kataga na hinahanap ng bawat isa, Kapag nariyan sila kasiyahan ay di maipagkakaila, Magkakaiba man ang prinsipyo, Pag-ibig sa isa't isa'y totoo. Maraming kulitan at tawanan, Ang nais hiling mo'y wala itong hangganan, Pero darating ang araw na isa't isa'y di na mahahagilap, Parang ang layo na ng pagsasamahan tulad ng ulap. Pwede ba natin sila pabalikin? Pwede ba natin silang pigilan? Ang sagot ko'y hindi ko alam, Pero ganito na lang. Ingatan kung sino ang mananatili, At isama sa panalangin ang mga wala na sa tabi, Panahon lang ang nagbabago, hindi ang pagkakaibigan, hindi ang pagsasamahan. Hindi ang pagmamahalan. Ang tunay na kaibigan sasamahan ka sa kasukdulan.

BAGONG SIMULA JRA

Madilim ang paligid kasabay sa pag-iyak ng langit damang-dama ang bawat sakit ng panghuhusga’t panglalait Sa mundong mapanakit Lahat ng nadarama ko’y pait. Hindi makawala sa kulungan na ako ang may gawa Kabiguan ang sanhi kaya ito’y nalikha Nalulunod sa pumipiglas na mga luha Na itinago ko sa panahong napakahaba. Tapos na ang panahon ng pagpapanggap Panahon na upang harapin ko ang reyalidad Sa pagtila ng ulan, muling masisilayan ang pag sikat ng araw Sa mundo kong mapanglaw. Patila na ang ulan at paubos na ang luha Sa huling pagpatak ng mga luha sa lupa Magsisilbi itong pataba Handa na akong harapin ang bagong simula.

QUIDDITY Qusun

Pollinated from the tallest of trees, my life begins in a journey in seeking the fertile soils life has to offer. Remembering my whilom, I glance in the waters to see my reflection asking of how I’ve grown with the earth revolving through the sun; life is indeed full of questions like the rivers clasping the horizon of its banks; what I’ve brought with me is only a teacup wishing to fill its void with the entirety of life. Walking my path has been tough since the day I landed in the fertile soils and started to spread its cotyledons in the warmth of identity, but how unfortunate could I be I was surrounded by sprouts much higher than I shading me from the sustenance of identity, yes I was on fertile soils, but I was deprived of the nourishment of the warmth. But life progressed as all creations that seek purpose, I was able to adapt to my environment and guess what? The sun does not only stay at the Zenith; it rises in the east and sets in the west, the time when my leaves could bask in its beams. From a deprived sprout, I have become a tree as sturdy as the mountains, immovable by the howling winds of the deserts while providing a home for biodiversity and then on I have seen my purpose it is from which instance that I began my journey it was to pollinate compassion and love that may one day spread its roots to the fertile soils of the earth.

DE’RIVE Photo by Bab Christian

Sanchez

Idunn in Mirrors Kammie Nang

What bothers you so, my child? Fingers rake through my hair as if being caressed by the wind, Flowers bloomed where the lady rest, varieties of wolfsbane, harebells, and cranberry And the sting of winters ice mixed in on air did not dare pierce my lungs I am but of lowly origins, and it shames me; femininity and bravery are words separate, I spake quickly as if any second to spare might change the turnings of my mind, My lips trembled not of the cold but joyous swell, To have unburdened the grappling ivies of my heart Idunn, my goddess; life is such misery And in every nook I face Loki, I tumble to the ground; the belief that drives me crushes me to kneel I weep for the end; will I be remembered this way; the Valkyrie who dare tried and failed Idunn, my goddess; I am not of worth, I am but a woman seeking change Oh my dear Freydis, my sweet child; you are a woman among all these men I turned to look with tear filled eyes at her proud gaze and gentle smile. You carry the universe in the palm of your hands; femininity and bravery are words combined Now my dear, wake up.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

Surplus

Vince Dave Duquilla I have an ample supply of memories. Suddenly, my mum spoke to me. Why store all of that? And I answered, Where should I put it?

DEAD OF NIGHT

Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

Dreading Night August

Waiting for the night to remember where I don’t want to be, considering the outcome on what might happen to me. Dreading the future where everything is a shame distress and no one to blame, as everyone thought I’m in the game but nobody here even remembers my name. All this life of mine searching for something I’ve been wanting to see see myself as something, something I’ve been dreaming to be. I think it’s time to win, because I was born to lose, If these things happen for a reason why am I still not standing tall? The dreading night is near happy 18th birthday my dear please no one shed a tear.

The Wanderlust Beanne

From the plans to camp. I was wandering on an obscure, Away from the city and closer to the nature. To the mountain I’ve never been, As the golden rays shine Limbs lifted high. By the breeze of serenity and harmony, Swinging trees, and falling leaves. Also with the sound of peace through the streams, Until the sun descends afar. A vast number of stars dazzling in the sky. Goodness mallows roasted over the bonfire. Memories forever will be cherished, A place being one with nature Is truly a great leisure. Illustration by Beanne Jaca

Ignotus

Vince Dave Duquilla When you become conscious of your vast existence, You will experience the most profound awakening. And life is a process of uncertainty, you'll never know what comes next. I explored diverse aspects of my life, especially those that I haven't done Hoping of doing them at the 'perfect moment'. I've said to myself I want a perfect ending. Well, I've found out the hard way that not all poetry rhymes And, not all tales have a distinct beginning and end. Existence isn't about just knowing or having to adjust, But about seizing the present and making the most out of it Without knowing what will happen next. But I have my life, and I am living it. It's complex, tricky, unsure, and filled with remorse, Yet there's something there.

COSMOS

Photo by Arnel B. Cajerman

Afterthought Mark Cortez

Do you ever have thoughts of reaching the impossible? Do you ever imagine that you could fly up above the sky? Looking at the world at the view of the clouds. Have you ever grabbed a broom and pretend like it’s a guitar? Banging your head to a certain beat just like a rockstar Have you ever tried to crawl on the wall? Wishing to be Spider man and be admired by them all? Childhood a stage where sky's the limit to whatever you imagine to be, Where playing with friends could be considered a top priority, Where we view the world with no worries , Where we could cry and replace a river with just our tears Where our mind would project a terrifying scenario and tremble with fear. Childhood is an amazing stage of life, It is the foundation of our future and it is the best part of our lives.

From the Grave Vince Dave Duquilla

Once upon a time, there was a little kid who believed he could conquer the beast and live in harmony. The beast refused to be subdued For it was a monster and monsters care not about such things, It was sudden but luck’s not on his side From childhood's tomb arose a young man, wise beyond his years. Who knew that would arise? Misfortune does not flourish on one path, they grow everywhere.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

CHAPTER II ADULTHOOD

RISE

Mark Cortez A person’s progress isn’t something that can be taken for granted We all go through stages where hardships and challenges are present. Ever since we were born, we’ve been molded to set out and become Everything that we wanted. But as time flies, we all want the clearness of the sky The sun that sets in the horizon, serves as a reflection of our life. We may reach adulthood and face overwhelming odds, but always Bear in mind that just like the sun as if it was consumed by the horizon It prepares itself to rise again as bright as it has ever shone before.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

Why do I keep on moving with high speed? Angelic feril

Gazing through the abyss of the known Under the tutelage of sabotaging, I frown What is there to fancy? What is there that's worthy? The pulchritude of the invisible crown? Preposterous, yet fascinating to catch In ramshackle, irrelevant thoughts hatched Besmirching little victories Dismissive to intrinsic qualities Stepping a little bit backwards, it's a shame to watch. Every breath I take goes to waste For I can't detach myself to chase Intoxicated praises inside my system Seem to have heroine in them Running away from the mirror I can't face Every breath I take, time tik-tocks Perhaps I'll step back, shut everything that talks In retrospect and sober, I gasp It's broken, the mirror that I didn't trust

Scars

Ruer G. Torculas It was said that scars were a display of the greatest lies etched in the skins of those who lied throughout their lifetime. It was a conundrum to some people of Grid– a progressive society that was made from the shambles of near extinction after technological warfare between their neighboring countries. People have evolved uniquely in their human characteristics and that includes scarring whenever they tell untruthful words. The scarring of their bodies is like a natural wound cuts deeply into their skin carving a line making it noticeable to other people. Most of the time, people on the Grid would place their trust based on the number of scars. Lawyers and politicians have the most scars, they pledge their lives to their profession even if it means thousands of scarring. They dressed neatly every single time in a suit and a tie to cover their skin. Politicians rarely go out as it manifests on the reputation of their failed promises to the people, but some of them don’t mind. The Elitists also have it, maybe from the years of yearning for connection and money to get their position. The Middle somehow thrives in an honest situation while the Lowers have got it worse— they must lie to survive. --With all of the clamors, Finn and Drew live in a suburb of plain houses lining in Middles Street, living their lives as honestly as possible. They promised not to tell lies to each other. They were great to their neighbors and straightforward of their opinions if only it was called for. They both wanted to create a life for themselves and make the most out of the moment each day. “Drew, I got a plan!” Finn’s eyes light up in excitement. “What if we take the high road and travel to my family’s house tonight and meet my parents?” “Are you sure about that? I guess I’m not ready to face your parents yet.” Drew chuckles nervously as he slowly places his morning coffee on a coaster. “You’ll be fine, they’ll love you. And I guess it’s about time they should know about the person that makes me smile every single day.” Finn goes around the kitchen counter to give Drew a back hug. “Cliché but smooth” “And that, mister, why do you still love me?” Drew took a minute of pause to think then immediately blurted without a doubt, “Okay, sure let’s hit the road tonight and meet your parents.” “Are you sure about that?” “I’m sure, if that makes you happy then I’ll go,” Drew slowly turns around to face Finn with his back against the counter and gives Finn a short kiss. “That’s lovely! Now you get ready.” Finn fills with joy as he gets the confirmation and rushes to their bedroom to pack their things. --28

Drew and Finn got on the road to catch Drew’s family dinner. Pink hues illuminating the afternoon skies, they are both excited, hoping for a smooth ride. Drew on the front passenger seat turns the speakers to a sensible volume enough to blast the music from his phone. They both enjoy each other’s company filling every dull moment with a smile. “I can see that you are happy,” Finn catches a glimpse of the carved expression of his partner. Drew’s face suddenly turns red from the compliment shoving the gesture. “I am, well this is special for me, I will finally get to meet your parents for the first time,” he replies. “Look, this means to me and I hope we could spend more time like this.” Finn extends his left arm while his eyes fixate on the road. He caresses Drew’s arms and strokes his hair. He feels lucky that he finally got someone who truly understands him and loves him. --They are halfway to their destination, driving the highway with no road lights, and Drew has fallen asleep. Finn had a hard time adjusting his sight on the road and doesn’t want to wake up Drew, so he tries to adjust the car’s headlight to illuminate the road. Finn then contacts his mother to notify her, “Mom, we are almost there and I miss you.” “Good to hear that, the plate will be just in time when you arrive, Son. I love you,” his mother replied. Finn ended the call noticing a hint of light ahead of him, so he tried to put his phone down. But the moment he places the phone in the compartment beside him, it falls. He attempted to get it but to no avail. Struggling to get his phone, he becomes occupied without having to focus on the road. Drew on his seat moves comfortably and then rubs his eye. The moment Finn finally got the phone, he immediately turned his attention to the highway. But it was too late when a blinding white flash instantly covered his view, suppose it was a truck meeting them. In his reaction, he pivots the drive wheel to avoid it, getting the car out of the road and tumbling in the field. Finn’s ears deafen for a minute and his eyes were blurry after the impact, he is trying to regain his consciousness. Drew rushes in to help him, shouting frantically at Finn— calling his name, a thousand times. “Finn, stay there and don’t move!” Drew shouts, finally setting himself free in his seat limping. He got blood on his head and scratches but he is unbothered to deal with the pain at the moment. Reached into his pocket for a phone with a broken screen and dialed the emergency number. “Hello?! Can you help us? My boyfriend and I had an accident in the middle of a road!`` Drew makes an effort to compose himself but his fight or flight response overwhelms him.

“Can you be here as soon as possible? We need help!” Drew commanded. “We will try our best Sir. The emergency team is on their way. But for the meantime don’t hang up,” the operator advises. Concerned about Finn’s situation, Finn throws the phone on the ground and limps heavily towards the driver’s seat. He notices Drew is in bad shape with blood falling down his head. With his tears streaming on his cheek, without a single thought, Drew attempts to release the seat belt but it will not bug. “Drew,” Finn finally gets his consciousness back, shocked and clueless from the accident. “I’m going to get you out there, don’t move!”, Drew shouts at him avoiding Finn’s helpless glance. Taken aback by the forceful response, he tries to calm down Finn. “Stop it, you will make things worse,” Finn said with a coarse sound. “I won’t! Just be still,” Drew’s tears continuously fall as he will not surrender his attempt. “Just stop!” Finn commanded, revealing the glass puncturing his side, losing him a lot of blood. Drew stops and freezes in his position; the situation is worse than what he expected. He is beyond saving but he can’t lose him— not now. His concern is immediately replaced with fear. “I can at least try,” Drew assures. “Can I ask you something, Drew?” Finn exerts an effort. “Will I be alright?” Drew tries to sew the words while catching his breath. “Yes.”. He then feels a burning sensation in his neck, the skin cuts – he lied. But he doesn’t care anymore, he thought that maybe lying would make things easier for him even though he knew that he can’t save him. “I figured.” Finn smiles while looking directly at him. “I thought we promised to never tell lies?” he added. From his seat, he held Drew’s face for the last time and kissed him. They both felt that it was them bidding their farewell. Finn’s lips release as Drew’s knees weaken and fall to the ground. He knelt helplessly with a feeling of devastation— like the palace they once dreamt to build turns to shambles and ashes before his very own eyes. The hint sound of sirens from an emergency team was noticeable and the blinking lights of red and blue became clearer. Drew is immobilized and hoping inside that he can rewind everything from the start. Maybe lying is one thing that can make people ease the pain- it’s the only rational thing we can think of and do when we are hurting. He reminded himself that the scars are there but his heart is beyond repair.

The Motion of Life Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

Stars befalls to tomorrow ben10

Moon drop wisps of silence Tingled thy souls, As echoing cries Befell on a motherly paws. Droplets of sweat On a light blinding set, Man draws near without fret As one stood with no regret. Hours of hours had passed Wailing already last, Made a man to gast While cherishing the past. Morning light shined once man and woman, Was now a in a families’ hand As their imagination came to land. The fluttering years halted As if everything was united, For the one they prayed Was answered and worth be waited.

Emmy Nava

The Best and the Worst Alpha Slakatub

I She gave me memories as time went by Happiness and grief collided till I die, Moved on yet forever engraved within Adieu dear Dianne my first taste of sin. II I made you my queen back in the past A relationship I thought will forever last, But you told me you fell for another When I realized I loved you later than ever. III You made the best and worst of me An angel and devil as I you can see, What we had I treasured so much Dianne the firsts of my touch. IV June of my 18th we cut off our snare As our love has ran out to spare, When you went on there's still a speck Like an ace deep in a poker deck.

V Memories of you can't be overlapped Even my new doesn't make me attached, She rejects me unlike you used to be But now you're gone cause I set you free. VI In my new I blame you how I handle You're different on how your love enkindle, With what we had I'm starting to doubt Losing patience makes me want to shout. VII In you I really felt the love I wanted Each moments of us in the past I noted, How to care for newfound I give you thanks As we move on to our own riverbanks. VIII On my 19th we had our last farewell my dear You told me to show my love loud and clear, Never envision her to be Dianne And tell my heart that you are now in ban. IX With this poem I have now recovered from I want you to read this with guitar to strum, We're not meant as I met you at a young age But I loved you during that time and stage.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

Crossing Minds Rengil V. Mana-ay

They say sea water heals wounds, So I ran to the nearest shore. Immediately dove into the waves, Hoping it would mend my mourning soul. T'was Sunday night, when everyone was asleep, I drove alone going to the coast Where we were basking, holding hands Along with the sound of the waves, under the glares of the sun. The stars were with me Caressing my desolated soul, Together with a handful of whisky Accompanying me alone. As I wandered through the sands, I saw nothing but footprints embedded with laughter and love, I followed them and slowly watched them washed by the surges. So I went back to our spot, Where we sat, chatting about life, Our dreams and aspirations Alone and together.

Nobody was there Except for the rocks, stars, and the moon. Surely, they knew what made me come back there They knew that the reason was you. The trees behind me were intrigue So I talked to them about us two, And then suddenly the cold breeze whispered Drops of salty water ran off my almond eyes. I knew I'll be fine So I let the tears dry As did the waters on the shore, But I won't ever say goodbye, for you are the only one who fills my core. I stayed, waiting 'til the sun rose again, A new beginning, a beacon of hope, And I prayed for a warm embrace, The last time as you traverse into another world.

Sixteen Sun_Rain

I kinda want to be 16 forever. It makes me feel like I have more Teen years to have my glow up Night skies that won’t even end My mom doesn’t tell me constantly That I'm too young anymore, But at the same time, I don’t get all these big, Depressing adult responsibilities Because I mean, I’m still young And I’m free.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

Aftermath of no guidance Angelic Feril

Robbed of her sense of self seeking abode from someone else worsen underdevelop mental health. The cries of the inner child were loud muted, unheard amidst the crowd hence, became a mocking sound under the tutelage of judgments no identity, just broken fragments unspoken words became detachments ostensibly smiling but appearance fool the fervor to break indignation merely became an imagination whispering, why is everything so cruel?

ABDITORY

Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

In Time

Sean Ladrido An eventful past An unknown future awaits Time flows like a stream Filled with pain, joy and beauty Abrupt and never ending.

Sonder

Sean Ladrido For every agony and every lesson you go through there is peace Only those with eyes who can look pass the misery can truly be at ease. Rest well and be diligent because life is a constantly changing battle Whether you are prepared or not it will cause your very core to rattle. Amidst the agony and grief you might experience Remember the beauty and hope of your very existence Defying expectations has always been a trait of humanity, which is why even in pain there is beauty.

The Golden child Antonio Ricardo B. Nobleza Everybody sees him as gold, But all he can see is blur. Like a cup owned by Midas, That made him thirsty for more. If he gets a decorative gold, He receives applause. But if he gets nothing, He get stoned. Everyday he felt like a heavy heart, Believing he knows everything. Made his thoughts start to leak, But he still knows nothing. The day came he's already fed up, He decided to leave everything. Started to focus on himself, Even though it caused him everything. He started to see the world again, From blurry to golden. Throwing away the cup of Midas. He is now wide awake. Bloom like a flower, Breeze of the air, He is well aware, The real gold is himself.

Hiraeth

Photo by Nele Pacurib

Tidal Wave

Photo by Nele Pacurib

AHON JRA

(Kaya siguro hindi tayo nakakaahon dahil nililimitahan natin mamuhay ang ating sarili sa sakit na dulot ng kahapon) Sa bawat pag hampas ng alon, Alaala'y lagi kong baon, Ang sakit na dulot ng kahapon, Kahit ilang taon natong nakabaon. Sa bawat ngiti, Ramdam mo ang hapdi, Na bumabakat sa aking mga labi, Na sumisimbolo ng pighati. Salamat sa mga nanatili, Naging gabay, kaagapay. Naging silbing saklay, Sa panahong ako'y napilay. Unti-unting nakakabangon, Sa nakabalot na sakit ng kahapon, Kaya sa bawat pag hampas ng alon, Subokan mong umahon.

CLING Grace You You You You

know there are just days that you get so overwhelmed, lose track of the reasons why you do what you do. were misfocused, you’ve set such narrow path for yourself. forgot that friendly reminder you’ve kept on the shelf.

No matter who you are, where you are, and what you ought to do, Be reminded of the great big world waiting for you. Beyond worldly stuffs, false worth, and milestones to chase, There lies the true essence of why you do the things you do. Remember the Take hold of Know that as So, cling on

bigger picture, greater purpose and point of it all, the meaning and insights to gain from this course. human beings, we tend to be distracted and forgetful, your heart all your reasons to bravely face what’s in store.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

GENTLE,SELF Grace

You can never judge yourself. Not with your circumstance nor your failures Not with your missed chances nor miscalculated risks. Not with your self-contempt nor your mismanaged anger Not with your flaws nor your raw humanness All this time you ought to hear these words – Words you should have known long ago Know that when that man in the mirror directs a finger on you, Take hold of a gentle reminder, “You can never judge yourself.”

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

The Great Perhaps Ruer Torculas Perhaps... My feet will sore; knees trembling from endless walking. They say “you will eventually get there," but they didn’t say that it is a long road with different streets and crossroads — intersections of choices awaiting to be journeyed. Maybe along the way, I will meet new names. One that will accompany; the other will just be an imprint. But trust that they will make things easier for me. If I steer to a different course, fear and doubt will always be there. But who knows what awaits me on the other side of the road? Who knows? If I may feel lost at times wandering the wilderness, perhaps I will search within and light the fire — torching my path towards the unknown. Perhaps it’s not always venturing the greater heights but also exploring the uncharted seas — the depth of oneself. Has anyone figured out the so-called ‘life’? Perhaps some, perhaps no one.

Daydream

Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

A Fleeting Moment Mark Cortez

There will be a day where you don’t have the luxury of time Where everything would bliss right by you. Other things will start dominating your thoughts. What was once a simple world full of fun and laughter turned into a cycle where you feel as if you were trapped in an eternal slumber, fueled by the need to provide for you. And for your loved one’s you scrap to find fuel which your body needs. And that is just reality, since as time goes by we are all a subject for change, our state of mind may change, our physical appearance, even the way we view things may change, but that’s just fine since we all progress and grow through life and priorities will differ to what we need the most. But one thing is for certain, it is that this world is full of surprises. What tears you down today whether it’s a failed task, or falling short for your jobs promotion, all these things will become, the wood that keeps the fire burning in you, the fire that pushes you to strive even harder to Exceed all your expectations and to Provide and extend your love for your comrades, and the people that are dearest to you, everything changes through time but the thing that needs to change the most is our perspective about life, because change isn’t a bad thing it just needs some getting used to for it to feel like it is still the same, you are still the same, you only grew.

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CHAPTER III OLD AGE

How far we've come Karl Francis

When did we become different? I've gone from throwing paper planes, And playing wooden trains, To this. And when did we mature? Lots of things we aren't sure, Opportunities unanccounted for, To this. Is it possible for you to pinpoint the day When we never again did play, Where our childhood slipped away, To this. The time we get taller, Priorities become lesser, So now the only thing that's left in life, Is this.

Walk through memory lane Photo by Nele Pacurib

The Old Sailor Carlo Miguel O. Barodi

The weary sailor stretched, his tired bones creaking, rocking gently back and forth as he sat hunched on his chair, with glassy eyes his gaze fixed upon a distant shore. Reaching for his pipe he began to puff and below a cloud of smoke, as the distinct smell of nicotine and sea breeze hanged in the air he began to sigh. “Grandfather?” a young voice called to him. Turning to his side appeared his grandson, the rascal looked at him, from his eyes the sailor could tell that he had some questions for him again, it never ceased to amaze him how much curiosity a young mind can have, pestering as it may be, it was the duty of the old to teach the new. “What is it?” replied the sailor with a gruff voice. “Well… I always wondered why you always look at the same direction every time, is something there?” The sailor pondered for a moment, genuinely touched that his grandson would notice whatever he did, although it was to be expected since the child was one of the only forms of company he had left, still it did leave a loving impression that made him smile. Chuckling the sailor replied “What’s there? My heart, dear lad, my heart is there.” The child tilted his head sideways, face scrunching up into evident confusion. Scratching his little head, he asked again. “But my teacher said that the heart is supposed to be in the body? How can it be out there?” Again, the sailor chuckled “I did not mean literally lad, what I meant was that place is very special to me.” “Special? Is there treasure there? Pirates? Mermaids?” with sparkling eyes he looked at his grandfather, he had read stories about how sailors would go out at sea to find treasure, fight pirates and maybe even encounter mermaids. The sailor laughed, his grandson truly has a vivid imagination, “No lad, nothing like that, but something much more, adventure and memories.” “Adventure and memories?” his grandson repeated.

“Aye.” The sailor confirmed, closing his eyes trying to his best to recall the sweet memories of a distant worn-out past. His mind transported back to places where aquamarine heights tower over crystal clear currents, within those blue rings he could hear the drunken cacophony of laughter from his friends, enlivened by their voices as their bodies were cradled by the rolling of their boat. “Lad, listen well, there are places that hold precious things, mine happens to be the sea, she was my first love, my mentor, and the place I am proud to call home. Fickle may she be sometimes, her nature I have learned to live by, for in her blue arms lies the path to places where few have come across in their lifetime.” The sailor paused, looking at his grandson who was staring at him trying his best to understand his words, he then continued. “It is the place where I have met and lost many of my friends, a place where I laughed and grieved, and though here on shore I stand, I can still hear her rising and falling voice calling out to me. And tempting as it may be, my voyage is long done, and I sit here now and watch as her waves move free and dance on.” The sailor stopped, as he felt a small weight on his chest, realizing his grandson was hugging him tight. Pulling him in the sailor said “well its not all that bad, since I have you here my wonderful boy.” His grandson gave him a toothy grin, and proclaimed to his grandfather his thoughts. “One day, I will go on adventures too! And I’ll make lots of friends and memories!” The sailor patted his grandsons head, ruffling his hair, and his voice the sailor replied. “I know you will lad, for such is the way of life, we all have our turn.”

Never alone ben10

As sweat proliferated down her rosy cheeks while the sun came to its high time. Maya paddled and paddled to a path of never ending. The tensions on her muscles, the heaving of her every breath, and as sun rays permeates through her body- she looked straight on a path and came to see no stops. She continues her ceaseless struggle with no pure goal but as she slowly turns back her head and there she saw the traces of places she had been. It already became a long journey since she departed. As she fell on a nostalgia of her past came to her mind was the reason why she took on the journey. All those firsts her fall, injuries, adventure that she had been through- it was all unexpected and worth her struggles. All those struggles became her fuel to continuously ensue the path she had taken. As she continued on the road of never ending she still tend to look back but all she sees are the vindication to continue.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

Longing Heart Aries

Nobody loves me the way you do I'm longing with your presence But I wasted it through With the splashes of tears I didn't have anything left Memories we kept in silhouette I didn't expect to see myself in regret Why do realizations always happen too late? When home wasn't home to me no more The day had arrived When it was time to say goodbye Now I was alone Reminiscing the past I'd blown

Horologium Queerfrontier

Time finally caught up with me, in a blink of an eye, I saw that I have grew far from who I was before. Gone was the youthful glow from my aura, and the glimmers from my eyes. I stared up from my bed as I fiddled the sheets to bind myself to sleep. And as I close my eyes, my life flashes right before me, and I awoke. But instead of the bedroom that I had growned accustomed to seeing I found myself standing in a place I had never seen before. It looked like space but I can stand, I saw the beautiful panoramic view of the stars and galaxy and I see a mirror in the middle of wherever I am. I approached and find it peculiar, the mirror was embedded with gold edges, articulate and meticulous design surrounded the oval mirror. And I hear it, “tick tock, tick tock” I looked everywhere and I see no clock, then I look up. At the top of the mirror I saw a clock stuck at the top most edge, it kept ticking but the hands did not budge. Once more I looked down and was shocked, I didn’t see myself in the mirror anymore, only a black abyssal space that shows no sign of reflection or light. I touched the mirror and I was knocked back as I see familiar writings in the mirror appear and glowed. It was my name, I stood up and once more approached the all too magical glass and it glowed bright, I covered my eyes from the blinding light, and when I uncovered It I saw myself surrounded by the same mirror. It seems to have duplicated itself. I approached the one in front of me and I saw me. But the reflection shifted and warped, like those magic mirrors in carnivals, but instead of a twisted version of my reflection I saw yet again me. But it was the 10 year old me. Core memories of my childhood replayed in front of me, the sense of nostalgia took over me as it fed all sorts of emotions and I had no other choice and I just sat. All the mirrors seemed to do the same and I saw everything that had happened throughout a life in a different viewpoint but one mirror was left unchanged. It still remained black. Then a door opened behind me and it seemed I had to make a choice. I did not know what to do nor was I sure that all was not but just a dream. The mirror glowed once again and I saw the present me in the bed sleeping humbly. But alas I decided, it seemed I lived my worth. I had matured already from who I was as a child. I had gone through the ups and downs, I had shared laughter and tears. I took the steps into the door that burst with light, before I took my final step, I looked back once more and smiled. As the Light totally engulfed me and the mirrors shattered in the background. 62

Through the Meadow

Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

Dead before you know it Emmy Nava

Behind every human action There are reasons… Some loves to sleep cause there’s something about their reality that they like changing even after countless of terrifying nightmares

Some are obese cause there’s something about the food that they like devouring even after realizing gluttony is a sin

Some are cutting cause there’s something about the pain that they like feeling even after scars remind them were they’ve been.

Some are smoking cause there’s something about internal smoke that they like being filled even after rough coughs Proves how empty they are

So don’t bother asking Because they were already dead before they started killing themselves.

SILVER LINING

John Patrick D. Quirino We are in the underground, You can't feel the peaceful sound And the devils roaming around. The children playing like they don't care, They are smiling like you can't even scare them, And other kids scheming with some evil stare. The boys are joining in criminal activity, And taking some drugs like their hobby. They're not following their family, The girls are selling their dignity, The falling stage of femininity. They can't feel sympathy, You can't trust the vibe When the sun died. Because there are gunshots in the other side, There is hope in the ghetto? You want to help them because they are humans too. But the depression in their heads blows, This is all the devil's work. Because temptation and desire are the evils' fork, And poor mind is the demons' lurk. Brothers and Sisters, please calm down, Trust the verses in the psalm, Let your cold hearts warm. Not all roses are put in a luxurious vase, Some are growing in your phase. And remember, not all devils will raise. Feel the silver lining even you are in the Ghetto, "Wag mundohin ang minumundo mo, Dapat positibo at kalmado, Dahil merong Diyos at diyos na magmamahal sayo."

Surreal POV

Jeremy Josh Alojado Gone were the dragons that circled around the skyscrapers of the city, Gone were the Sea serpents that haunted the Asian seas, Golden specks of dust that fairies leave behind as they pass by linger no more, No longer I can find the gateway to a surreal world, within the cabinet with the double doors. How come every time I wake from my deep slumber, The world loses its luster and turns duller. My eyes no longer glitter with excitement And now looks so lifeless and nonexistent. My thoughts wander off seeking to rekindle the spark. To look for a way to turn back the clock Return what was lost and bring back what has long since gone. My search leads me to alleyways dark and long, in which the answer to my search I stumble upon. Just when I thought it was worth it, I relieved those I wish to see, brought back everything that I have lost even for just a few moments. But I was wrong, it all fell from the sky, spiraling down to a never-ending abyss giving me no time to lament. A thud is all I heard, to the ground where I landed I knew I have lost it. Choices have been made, actions have been done. Now the consequences has come to hunt me down The regret for the longing of nostalgia, The wish to just relieve the gold olden days. Before everything came to a halt Time stood still and a thought came to mind, How different the world could be in a Child’s POV. The last of my thoughts as the light overshadowed me and gunshots covered my screams. At last I see the dream I used to dream. I once again played with the fairies among the flower fields. Swam amongst the serpents of the Asian seas. As I close shut the Cabinet with double doors.

Serendipity

Photo by Bab Christian Sanchez

Points’ end ben10

When days run free without care, flutters the unbending will of man. The long and strong bastion of the forever kings long passed its limit and is nearing end. The crumbling of indestructible stones protested but yet faded and lost the winning war. Yearnings of darken regrets lurks, ignited the exhausted breaths. To strive for more and accomplish the life’s remaining goal. But life done him wrong for he had reached the point blank , it was his end, yet still yearned for his MAGNUM OPUS.

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

End. Home. Life. Sino Nomine

Today is the big day! I had been saving for this day for months, and it finally arrived. I had no idea this was how it felt to be in love, to be chosen, to have someone for the rest of our life. Then the doors opened, but there stood the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen. How could a mere mortal like myself have such a goddess lady? She smiled and cried as she extended her hand to me, accompanied by her parents. We're both facing him, together. We wanted him to unite us, with wisdom, committed being together, because he witnessed our love and life journey. In today's union of two hearts, my family and friends, as well as her family and friends, are all witnesses. Echoing noises were filling my ear, and I couldn't believe this was happening to me; my heart was breaking in tears. I was finally home. Then the servant of God finally asked, and we responded without hesitation, “I do!”

Illustration by Beanne Jaca

SIX Leo

If I met my 6-year-old self today what would I tell her, what would I say? Should I warn her of the future? of all the bad things yet to come, or to leave her be naïve, to just keep having fun? Tell her how dad is not gone It’s just that some people stay with us forever even when they’re gone. Tell her need not envy look not from others to compare for every creature born is unique and bare If I met her, would she recognize me? I hope she’ll smile looking at what she made me the messy, flawed, goofy reality of thee But never mind, after all in fourteen years’ time, You'll turn out fine.

Checkmate

Photo by Nele Pacurib

Acknowledgement The success of this folio is greatly due to the following people, whose efforts and passion serve as its very heart, breathing life into every page. Though some may see their acts as small and minimal together they form the spirit of this folio. The complete hard work and dedication of these people is what shines through every page. To the contributors for lending us their wonderful minds and talents helping us turn the folio into what it is today, your efforts have garnered us the success that is this folio, and for that I am truly grateful. May this folio serve as an everlasting testament to your aspirations and your creative spirit, may serve it as a guide in your creative journeys. To Ruer Torculas the former literary editor for providing his guidance and insights in our mission to make this folio, paving the way for us as well as giving us a solid foundation to work on. To Emmy and Beanne for taking the enormous task of hankering for quality of this literary folio, bringing it to new heights with every beautiful and well-done illustrations and the clear cadence and direction in which this folio is put together, both of you serve as the pillar on which this folio stands upon, and thus make you both the true MVPs in my eyes. To the Carrier Publication, whom I’ve come to considered as family, thank you for the vast contribution and support you have given to me, not just in the creation of this particular folio, but in every step of my journey into journalism as well, indeed you have bestowed me the greatest joy of rekindling my passion and love for writing. To my Family, Friends and Mentors, I wouldn’t be here today without you, and hence I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for your endless sacrifices and for constantly telling me that I’m doing alright. Your encouragement and words of advice have kept me going, and hence I dedicate this folio to you all. I humbly offer my deepest gratitude to all of you, for without you all this never would have been possible. I have made sure that you would not be forgotten and though time may pass your efforts and hard work are here to remain, forever immortalized, framed within the memento of this folio.

Snippets from Memento Growth

From a deprived sprout, I have become a tree as sturdy as the mountains, immovable by the howling winds of the deserts.

QUIDDITY, Qusun

But I have my life, and I am living it. It's complex, tricky, unsure, and filled with remorse, Yet there's something there.

Ignotus, Duquilla

I turned to look with tear-filled eyes at her proud gaze and gentle smile You carry the universe in the palm of your hands; femininity and bravery are words combined Now my dear, wake up.

Idunn in Mirrors, Kammie Nang

I think it’s time to win, because I was born to lose, If these things happen for a reason, Why am I not standing tall?

Dreading Night, August

Moon drop wisps of silence Tingled thy souls As echoing cries Befell on a motherly paws

Stars befalls to tomorrow, ben10 V Memories of you can't be overlapped Even my new doesn't make me attached She rejects me unlike you used to be But now you're gone cause I set you free

The Best and the Worst, Alpha Slakatub Our state of mind may change, our physical appearance, even the way we view things may change, but that’s just fine since we all progress and grow.

A Fleeting Moment, Marc Cortez

ostensibly smiling but appearance fool the fervor to break indignation merely became an imagination whispering, why is everything so cruel?

The aftermath of no guidance, Angelic Feril Unti-unting nakakabangon, Sa nakabalot na sakit ng kahapon, Kaya sa bawat pag hampas ng alon, Subukan mong umahon.

AHON, JRA

Perhaps it’s not always venturing the greater heights but also exploring the uncharted seas — the depth of oneself.

The Great Perhaps, Ruer Torculas

Bloom like a flower, Breeze of the air, He is well aware, The real gold is himself.

The Golden child, Antonio Ricardo B. Nobleza Remember the bigger picture, greater purpose and point of it all, Take hold of the meaning and insights to gain from this course Know that as human beings, we tend to be distracted and forgetful So, cling to your heart, all your reasons to bravely face what's in store.

CLING, Grace

I stayed, waiting 'til the sun rose again A new beginning, a beacon of hope And I prayed for a warm embrace The last time as you traverse into another world. Crossing Minds, Rengil Manaay My thoughts wander off seeking to rekindle the spark. To look for a way to turn back the clock Return what was lost and bring back what has long since gone. My search leads me to alleyways dark and long, in which the answer to my search I stumble upon.

Surreal POV, Jeremy Josh Alojado The day had arrived When it was time to say goodbye Now I was alone Reminiscing the past I'd blown

Longing Heart, Aries

I have shared laughter and tears. I took the steps into the door that burst with light, before I took my final step, I looked back once more and smiled. As the Light totally engulfed me and the mirrors shattered in the background.

Horologium ,Queerfrontier

Feel the silver lining even you are in the Ghetto "Wag mundohin ang minumundo mo, Dapat positibo at kalmado, Dahil merong Diyos at diyos na magmamahal sayo."

"SILVER LINING", John Patrick D. Quirino Is it possible for you to pinpoint the day When we never again did play, Where our childhood slipped away, To this.

How far we've come, Karl Francis

The sailor patted his grandson's head, ruffling his hair, and in his voice the sailor replied. “I know you will lad, for such is the way of life, we all have our turn.”

References of memories made along the way Looking Back at The Past Birthright-p.2 Middle-p.4 Chicken Nuggets–p.6 Barkada-p.8 Bagong Simula-p.9 Idunn in Mirrors-p.12 Dreading Night-p.17 Afterthought-p.21 From the Grave-p.22 Longing Heart-p.61 Living in the Moment Ignotus-p.19 Rise-p.26 Scars-p.28 Crossing Minds-p.36 In time-p.42 Sonder-p.43 The Golden Child-p.44 Ahon-p.47 Cling-p.48 Gentle Self-p.49 Fleeting moment-p.52

Facing the Future How far we’ve come-p.54 The Old Sailor-p.56 Never Alone-p.58 Horologium-p.62 Dead before you know it-p.64 Silver Lining-p.65 Surreal POV-p.66 Points End-p.68 End Home Life-p.69 Six-p.70

TheCarrier Editorial Staff S.Y. 2021-2022

Rengil V. Mana-ay Editor-in-Chief

Jassele Mae Priolo Associate Editor

Ruer Torculas

Managing Editor

Chyshan Nheil Alejano Assistant Managing Editor

Jerric Claridad News Editor

Mark John Priolo Feature Editor

Gerald Diano Sports Editor

Carlo Miguel Barodi Literary Editor

Emmy S. Nava

Layout and Graphics Editor

Beanne Y. Jaca Graphic Artist

Nele Stephen M. Pacurib Photos and Video Editor

Bab Christian Sanchez Vince Dave T. Duquilla Photojournalists

Jeremy Josh Alojado Marc Cortez Angelic Feril Sean Ladrido Staff Writers

Alyn G. Libertad, MAEd Moderator