Just Between Us Magazine | Spring 2022 by Just Between Us

When It’s OK to

p U e v i G by Lori Ann Wood

! s u o e g a C our

by Catriona Futter

STEPPING INTO TRUST YOUR PRAYER LIFE CAN INSPIRE OTHERS SERIOUSLY, MOM GUILT AGAIN? CHASE YOUR FEARS AWAY

spring 2022 | F I N D

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welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

Happy New Year! We are so glad you are spending some of your precious time with us in the pages of Just Between Us. It’s our prayer that this magazine will draw you closer to Jesus throughout the new year. Just Between Us is all about words, especially God’s Word. Words are powerful. They can define us. They can save us. They can hurt us. They can encourage us. And they can change the course of our lives. Every new year our team asks God for a relevant word for the year to make the focus. We always consider what you—our treasured sisters—need and what’s going on in our world. For over 30 years, our mission has been to encourage you for a life of faith. Hidden in the word encourage is COURAGE! And it means to “give or increase confidence; to inspire with strength; to raise up or to increase; to push forward; the strength to persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” Doesn’t that sound like everything we need at this time? We thought so too, so we decided to make courage the word for 2022. Joshua 1:9 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Given the uncertain world we are living in with all the heightened anxiety, fear, and discouragement, it seems like now more than ever, we are going to need to encourage each other regularly to be courageous! He is with us as we rise up with courage in our homes, our workplaces, our places of worship, our communities, our world—and our faith. Even though we don’t know what the coming year holds, we can give each other the strength and confidence to get through.

Speaking of courage, God decided to start with me. At the last minute, we had our interview fall through and were left reeling. The JBU team thought our readers would like to get to know their editor! My initial response was NO…but after wrestling with God for a few days (throwing a spiritual tantrum), I surrendered a weak yes. I’ve always been the behind-the-scenes person telling other women’s stories, so this has been a real step of courage for me. Thank you for graciously taking it with me! Throughout the year, we will be featuring a Courageous Women series to inspire you to do the same. MaryAnne Constantine shares her incredible story on page 32, the first in the series, bringing hope and healing to other hurting women. Catriona Futter will help us be courageous in our everyday life through her article, “Choosing to Be Brave” on page 14. Every page is splashed with glimpses of courage in one way or another. Thank you to our authors who are real and transparent, always stepping out in faith, and pointing us to Jesus. We hope you know that you have a cheering section of sisters who are encouraging you to rise up in this dark world and inspiring you to be courageous in whatever ways the Lord leads you in this new year. You’re not alone. We’re right there with you! Being Courageous Together,

contents

VOLUME 32

on the cover 14 Choosing to Be Brave

NO. 2

What courage looks like in our everyday lives. by Catriona Futter

Being Okay with Giving Up

How to pray the prayer of relinquishment. by Lori Ann Wood

Stepping-Stones of Trust 22

God as our Rock strengthens our faith in challenging times. by Heather Hagstrom

Alone with the Alone 24

our faithfulness and joy in prayer may be Y the catalyst for lifelong devotion in those watching you. by Debra Celovsky

SPRING 2022

features Courageous Women 32 Does the Pain of Abortion

Ever Go Away? One courageous woman’s story is bringing hope to hurting women. by MaryAnne Constantine

faith chats 18 An Encourager of Women

helly Esser is an editor of words and a reader S of hearts. Interview by Ann M. Cook

Mom Guilt 26

Letting go of the control to be perfect. by Rachel Greening

Chase Your Fears Away 28

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You can learn how not to be afraid.. by Jill Briscoe

32 24

CREDITS Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Editor Shelly Esser

Advertising & Accounts Manager Sharon Vaught

General Manager Mary Perso

Marketing Julie Santiago

Director Digital Media Mary Ann Prasser

Outside Your Front Door

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ASSO

g nin n i d-gwazine r a aw ma N •

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13 Frameable Artwork

Strengthening Your Soul

EVANGE

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

42 Living Well Minutes 43 1in5 the Word

Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

Creative Director Julie Krinke

columns 36 Your Story 38 Intentional Faith Discovering 40 the Word

Subscriptions Phil Perso Mary Richards Jan Schuldt Lin Sebena

•

in every issue Welcome from 3 the Editor 6 Our Team 7 Between Us 8 Happy Home eart-to-Heart 10 Hwith Joni

Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt

Editorial Assistants Carol Becwar Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Betty Hinds Cherry Hoffner Melinda Papador Marilyn Pritchard Danae Templeton

Transparent Moments

Renewals Manager & Software Support Rebecca Loesche

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun

LICAL PRES

ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com. SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscription Price: $19.95 per year for four issues. Outside US, add $6 per year prepaid US currency; $5 in Canada. Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045.

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Just Between Us is a member publication of the Evangelical Press Association.

meet our

team

JILL BRISCOE Founder

MARY ANN PRASSER Director Digital Media

Our Just Between Us team is made up of incredible women with hearts to see you flourish in every area of your life, especially in your life of faith. They bring their collective gifts to make sure you don’t feel alone and that you are continually encouraged, so you can grow closer to Jesus and make an impact in His world.

SHELLY ESSER Editor

ASHLEY SCHMIDT

Director of Mission Advancement/Social Media

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General Manager

REBECCA LOESCHE Renewals Manager & Software Support

SUZAN BRAUN

Circulation Manager & Assistant Editor

SHARON VAUGHT Advertising & Accounts Manager

JULIE KRINKE Creative Director

About Our Ministry

A Giving Opportunity for You!

Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-forprofit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heart-focused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini-magazine, on social media, and other products—all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Did you know Just Between Us is primarily funded by women just like you? Costs in all areas of the ministry are rising, and today more than ever, women are seeking answers, looking for hope, and needing a friend in lonely times. We rely on donations to support women around the world, which in return supports their community and your community!

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BETWEEN US

When I Deny Jesus

Lysa TerKeurst

don’t doubt God is real and that God is good. But I often pray, “God, give me relief from my unbelief.”

I pray this when what He allows into my life does notnot seem good to me. When we we assume we we know seem good to me. When assume know what a good God would do, and He doesn’t do it— that’s when things can get a bit complicated. It’s the place where we can be tempted to distance ourselves from God with a heart of distrust.

words, thoughts, or actions that we don’t really believe the truth of who Jesus says He is or what He’ll do. How heartbreaking. For us. For Jesus.

Let’s take a closer look at Peter’s story in Mark 14.

But before we give in to feelings of shame, let’s look at Luke 22:61–62. This passage gives us a slightly different glance at the moments immediately following Peter’s final denial: “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly.”

While we see Jesus remaining faithful in the midst of a beloved friend’s betrayal (vs. 43–45) and the high priest’s interrogation (vs. 53–65), we find Peter with faltering faith as he stood waiting in a courtyard (vs. 66–72).

The look that passed between Jesus and Peter wasn’t one of condemnation. I believe Jesus’ eyes were filled with compassion for Peter. The same compassion He has for us today. A look that invites us to trust Him and draw near to Him once again.

Afraid. Cold. Forgetful. Peter soon denied the One who loved him most.

We need to ask ourselves where we’re denying Jesus’ truth in our lives. Where are we denying Jesus’ forgiveness—for ourselves or others? Where are we denying Jesus’ redemption? Where are we denying Jesus’ hope?

I can’t help but think about Peter—a man who boldly declared to Jesus, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you” (Mark 14:31), but then found himself doing the exact opposite.

Once. Twice. Three times. A rooster’s shrill cry ushered in the shocking realization that the very thing Peter swore he’d never do, he did. And as much as we might want to shake our head at Peter, I for one know I can’t. I know what it’s like to have intentions that are good but the follow-through falls to pieces. It’s easy to say the words—we’re all in for Jesus, but then we get hurt by someone and it becomes difficult to live out those words. Fear, pain, and insecurities can really do a number on our hearts.

Nothing is beyond the reach of our Jesus. And I know today when we confess where we may be denying Him in our lives, He will look at us with the same compassion He did with Peter. So when doubts and disappointments drag us down, we draw near to the Lord and pray, “I don’t have to understand this to trust You. I will kneel in prayer and keep watching for evidence of all You are doing, big and small.”

So, in a moment of doubt and disappointment, Peter chose to distance himself from Jesus to the point of complete denial. To deny Jesus is to say with our

and the #1 New York Times’ bestselling author of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and Uninvited. She lives with her family in North Carolina.

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

LysaTerKeurst.com LysaTerKeurst Lysa TerKeurst

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Right now, in the middle of the reality you didn’t know was coming ... your life can still be beautiful. Gain healthier ways to see your situations through truth-based perspectives with Lysa’s new devotional, Seeing Beautiful Again: 50 Devotions to Find Redemption in Every Part of Your Story. Order your copy today at seeingbeautifulagain.com.

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They certainly did a number on Peter’s, as he watched Jesus, the One he had seen perform miracles, and allow Himself to be bound and arrested. Jesus was supposed to be the King who would deliver the Jewish people from the oppression of the Romans. Peter didn’t realize this was the only way he could experience Jesus as King in eternity.

HAPPY HOME

Martial Arts Mom

Arlene Pellicane

ames bolted into the kitchen, “Guess what you are going to do?” What he announced would change my life and schedule for the next few years. “You are going to join Blue Dragon Martial Arts!” “You see,” he continued. “If we sign up the kids for martial arts classes, we can go for free.” This was humorous on numerous levels. We’re always looking for a deal (but this was a little ridiculous). James, who is white, grew up using chopsticks at Chinese restaurants. I, the Asian girl, grew up using forks and eating hamburgers. I am not into kung fu, karate, boxing, kicking, or wrestling. I can barely touch my toes. Yet a few weeks later, the fantastic five Pellicanes were decked out in matching pants and black t-shirts emblazoned with dragons. We were the only adults in the kids’ class. We sat crisscross applesauce as the sensei showcased the roundhouse kick. I was thinking, “What in the world am I doing here? This is so embarrassing.” I entertained quitting on more than one occasion. But as the weeks went by, my embarrassment lessened. I believed many parents watching the class from the benches secretly wished they too could join their kids. By now I’ve wrestled for years with Ethan and sparred with the girls (James and I decided it was better for our marriage not to partner up), and made some hilarious memories along the way.

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But, you certainly don’t have to pick up martial arts to bond with your children. Yet it is good to play with them. You might play board games, hike, swim, or ride bikes. Zig Ziglar famously said “to a child love is spelled T-I-M-E.” Zig also said “Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” So how will you use your minutes this week to connect with your kids?

Here are five ideas: 1. Take one of them out for breakfast once a month. I got this idea from my neighbor who began taking out her high-school-aged daughter for breakfast to talk about books they would read together.

2. Be there (even when you’re not there). Write notes to your children and put them in backpacks, lunchboxes, under pillows, or somewhere else to find. On occasion I’ll put a Post-it note in my daughter’s lunchbox. To my surprise, she keeps all these tiny notes in the pocket of her lunchbox. 3. Walk around the block. After dinner, invite one of your kids to walk down the street with you. Leave your phone at home. 4. Do errands together. Need to run to the bank? Take one of your children for some one-on-one time. Can’t bring just one and leave the rest at home? Bring all the kids and take turns sharing highs and lows of the day during the car ride. 5. Create a weekend ritual. What’s a fun activity you can do on the weekend? Every Sunday afternoon for the past year, my family has been playing ultimate frisbee in the park with friends. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the Five Love Languages, explains that quality time is a primary love language for many children. Quality time is how they feel loved and cared for. Quality time is a means for knowing your child better. Over and over in the New Testament, we are commanded to love one another. First Peter 3:8b says, “Love one another, be compassionate and humble.” Sometimes, it takes some humility to meet your child in one of their interests (remember my stint with Blue Dragon Martial Arts?). But your efforts will pay off. On top of creating some fun memories, you’ll really know your kids. When your children feel known by you, they will also feel incredibly loved.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, the host of the Happy

Home podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children.

arlenepellicane.com ArlenePellicaneAuthor ArlenePellicane ArlenePellicane

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HEART-TO-HEART WITH JONI

God’s Promises: Our Source for Courage

Joni Eareckson Tada

t was a chance to spend a few days at a friend’s mountain house by a lake, and I needed the rest. So did Ken. It had been a busy season, and he was weary from non-stop caregiving. So, I insisted he take the bedroom at the far end of the house, while my helper stayed down the hall with a baby-monitor. That way, if I awakened in pain during the night, I could call her. As she helped me to bed, I noticed a large, slattedwood plaque on the wall. It was a calligraphy of Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” I drifted off to sleep, comforted by the security of that promise. At 1 a.m. I was jolted awake by excruciating pain—it happens a lot at night, given my long-term paralysis. In the dark I could see the tiny green light on the bedside monitor, and so I called softly for my friend. I needed her to reposition my hips. When she didn’t respond, I called again. Then, a little louder. She must be sleeping soundly, I reasoned. This time, I yelled. But no answer. My pain was throbbing, and so I prayed, Lord, I will never make it to morning in this position… please wake her up! Then I drew a deep breath and screamed, “Help! Help me!” The house remained cold and silent.

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My heart was racing. I was in terrible trouble, and morning was hours away. Right before I started panicking, I recalled the slatted-wood plaque. Jesus, You tell me to be strong and courageous for You promise to be with me. I need You to make good on Your promise!

Psalm 18:6 says, “In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help,” and being one who takes the Bible literally, I cried out using every Bible promise I could think of. I screamed them, hoping my helper would hear me: LORD… YOU ARE MY… EVER PRESENT HELP… IN THIS TROUBLE! … YOUR GRACE… IS SUFFICIENT… YOUR NAME IS… A STRONG TOWER…!

After screaming promises for nearly an hour, I heard a click on the monitor. My helper came running and burst into the room, anxious and breathless. As she quickly turned me, I felt calm and peaceful. God gave me what He promised in Joshua 1:9.… His courage. A flood of courage can be ours in exchange for God’s promises. The Lord provides His promises so that we might bring each one to Him in exchange for the blessings which they guarantee. Many people, however, do not know how to make that exchange. We think we are claiming Bible promises when we commit them to memory, embroider them as wall hangings, upload them as a screensaver, post them on Instagram, or share them on Facebook. We fix them in our view and in our minds, as if that were enough. But that is not exchanging them. So, God gives us a little help. He places us in valleys of affliction where our emotional supports all vanish. Suddenly, when we feel our weakness and urgent need, we cling to Psalm 119: 92-93 as if it were meat and drink, for “If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction… by [your promises] you have given me life.” Life… peace… and courage. It’s what God gives in exchange for His promises, and it happened that night in the mountain house. So, bring a promise before God and make the exchange for peace, life, and courage. It’s all yours. And you don’t even need to scream. “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promises renew my life” (Ps. 119:50).

Joni Eareckson Tada is an esteemed Christian

author, artist, and a respected global leader in disability ministry and advocacy. Although a 1967 diving accident left her a quadriplegic, she emerged from rehabilitation with a determination to help others with similar disabilities. Joni serves as CEO of Joni and Friends, a Christian organization which promotes support services for thousands of special-needs families around the world. She and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif.

joniandfriends.org

% response@joniandfriends.org

HOW SINGLE MOTHERS CAN RAISE SONS OF CHARACTER “Moms of boys will find hope in these pages. There is big-picture hope to help them dream, and practical, day-to-day hope to increase

their conﬁdence. . . . It won’t make anyone feel more overwhelmed. Instead, Roland Warren’s approach will diminish the feeling. There will

also be less fear, shame, and blame and more

courage, grace, mercy, and truth. Single moms can parent boys well. Roland has proof!”

—KATHY KOCH,

R O L A N D C . WA R R E N

from the foreword

is the CEO of Care Net, one of the largest networks of crisis pregnancy in North America. After twenty years in the corporate world, Roland spent eleven years as president of the National Fatherhood Initiative and has been featured on shows like The Oprah Winfrey Show and The TODAY Show, as well as in many publications such as the Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post.

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TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

Determining if a Door has Closed

Anita Carman

s I lead the ministry of Inspire Women into its 22nd year, I am in awe of God who has led me every step of the way. There were days when I felt I was flying blindfolded and longed for a map, a “Help Me” book, or even some directions scratched on the back of a napkin to give me some semblance of direction. On those days, God reminded me I was entering uncharted territory and no map other than God Himself could be found. But what does God being our map mean? Often, it means remembering who we are as daughters of the King and looking to the Bible for guidance from our faith siblings. Learn the Family Code In every family, there is a family code of behavior. When we accepted Jesus as Savior, imagine God writing our name in a box in His family tree. The characters in the Bible are not just Bible characters but our faith siblings. My younger son used to watch to see if his brother got away with something in our family before attempting the same thing. He would then modify his actions depending on whether his older brother got away with a behavior. In the same way, to learn God’s family’s code of behavior, we are to model after the choices of our faith siblings.

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Don’t Let Opposition Close Doors For example, recently I sought guidance from the Scriptures on how to respond when a door closes in life. On this topic, I found two parallel situations in Paul’s life that helped me process my own. He said, “But I will stay on at Ephesus until Pentecost, because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me” (1 Cor. 16:8-9).

Our faith sibling Paul was in a place where he had opposition, however he did not let the opposition close a door that God had otherwise opened. I was reminded how often we assess something in our lives as a closed door, when we know in our spirit that God had opened a door of opportunity. Recover from Missed Opportunities Later Paul said, “Now when I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me, I still had no peace of mind, because I did not find my brother Titus there. So I said goodbye to them and went on to Macedonia. But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal

procession in Christ…” (2 Cor. 2:12-15). This account of Paul’s experience shows us a time when Paul made the wrong choice, by letting the absence of an individual steal his peace. However, Paul was able to recognize it and quickly recover, praising God for leading him from a wrong choice. Once we have settled that God was the one who opened the door, we must be careful not to allow our own human logic to rob us of peace.

“…often we assess something in our lives as a closed door, when we know in our spirit that God has opened a door.”

Closed Doors Don’t Always Mean Closed Callings When God opened the door for me to establish Inspire Women as a perpetual ministry to annually awaken potential in God’s daughters with a strong follow-up program to invest in the training of women for missions and ministry, every closed door did not mean God had closed the door to His original call. Instead, God intended for me to find the crack in the door and to keep going. Every time I model after the right choices of a faith sibling, I become more sure of my identity as God’s daughter. Being the daughter of the King is not just a feel-good title, it is a tangible process to respond as a member of God’s family.

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a non-profit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at inspirewomen.org (Anita Carman’s signature curriculum, being taught through Inspire Women’s Leadership Academy, offers an online option to teach women how to make decisions fitting for one who is the King’s daughter. To enroll, please email info@inspirewomen.org).

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,

“I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher

Download this printable Scripture art at justbetweenus.org.

CHOOSING TO BE

BRAVE What courage looks like in our everyday lives. by Catriona Futter

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hat does it mean to be brave? Throughout the pandemic, here in the UK there was much talk of the bravery shown by healthcare workers who put their lives at risk (some of whom even lost their lives) to care for those acutely ill with COVID-19.

Courage has been defined as “being motivated from the heart to do something brave.” I love this idea—that our choice to be brave comes straight from our hearts and what matters to us most. Imagine a mother lion defending her cubs. If you are a mother, chances are you would not think twice about

leaping into a dangerous situation to defend your children because of how much they matter to you.

What Does it Mean to be Brave?

Being brave does not necessarily mean doing something extraordinary or fearless. Sometimes it is simply choosing to show up each day with grace and courage to fulfill all our roles. Being brave can simply mean choosing to stay in a difficult situation. Perhaps you are in a job that is difficult, but the difference you are making is worth the cost. For you, being brave means staying, bringing your best, and trusting God’s timing and purposes for your life.

Maybe you are in a relationship that is stagnant, fraught with a history of hurts and resentments. Both of you feel trapped behind walls of mistrust, fear, and lack of hope for change. Leaving might seem like the easier option, but perhaps for you, being brave means choosing to stay. To seek help and persevere with making changes that are hard and costly, but ultimately that will restore connection and hope. Being brave means having that conversation with your partner when you would prefer to avoid the issue altogether. Why would you choose to step across into no-man’s-land and risk being vulnerable when all you fear is more conflict? Because you are choosing to be brave. Sometimes being brave means being willing to listen without an agenda, rather than jumping in to give your view. For some, being brave is standing up to injustice or opening your home to a stranger in need. Bravery sometimes means speaking up. When I wrote about our experience of living with my husband’s depression, a common reaction to our story was that we were brave to talk about it. However, mental health needs to be discussed, so more people are willing to find the courage they need to seek help and support. It takes bravery to respond to a friend’s, “How are you?” with “Actually, I’m not okay, can we talk?” Sometimes, being brave means committing to the mundane, repetitive, and unglamorous aspects of raising a family with acceptance and the decision to bring the best of you to the task. Because what can be more important than investing in the people most dear to you? They take up so much space in our hearts and therefore provide the central motivation that is behind our courage.

You Are Not Alone

The wonderful thing about this as Christians is we are not expected to be brave on our own. All these situations, and ones that you are facing that were not mentioned, are far from easy. However, no matter the size of the choice, we do not face it alone. We are given the supernatural power of God to strengthen our hearts and motivate us to continue. What do we do when the situation we are facing seems impossible? That was certainly the case for Joshua as he was tasked with the challenge of entering the Promised Land. How did God reassure him?

Encourage One Another

As Christians, we also have the advantage of being part of a wider Christian community. The word encourage has courage at its heart. Sometimes our role is to bring that courage to another who is struggling with brave choices. A while back, I completed a treetop high ropes course with friends. I am not keen on heights, but I do like a challenge, so this seemed like a good opportunity to overcome some inner anxieties. All the way around the course, we cheered each other on. My wobbliest moment—quite literally—was trying to jump off a platform seventy feet off the ground into fresh air, trusting that the swing would hold. “I can’t do this; you’re going to have to help me,” I shouted to my dear friend and partner. Without her loud, encouraging, and unstinting affirmation of her belief in my abilities, chances are I would still be in that tree now. That day, none of us were brave in isolation—one person’s fear was countered by another’s bravery and encouragement to complete the challenge. It reminds me that choosing to be brave sometimes involves seeking endorsement from a cheerleading friend. What a gift to give to someone you know who is struggling. What a gift to stand with them in their choice, affirm them for who they are and why this is important, and to pray as Paul prayed for the Ephesians that they would know “his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 1:19–20). Choosing to be brave is choosing to live today in the fullness of life that Jesus promises us, keeping our eyes fixed on Him. God Himself is our reason not to fear, but to have courage and be brave. God is who He says He is, and He will do what He promises to do. So, as you consider the situation in which you are choosing to be brave just now, know that the Lord is your confidence (Prov. 3:26, NKJV). Let that be the motivation of your heart.

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Catriona Futter is a Christian life coach, author, and speaker. She runs her own business, Equip for Life Coaching and lives in Glasgow, Scotland, with her husband. They have two teenaged daughters. Read her blog at equipforlifecoaching.com/blog/.

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“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Josh. 1:9).

What a stunning verse! The sovereign and almighty God Himself promised to accompany Joshua at every stage of the task that He called him to and equipped him for. Joshua’s role? To keep his eyes fixed on God. This, too, is our central focus. It is too easy to be overcome by the enormity of the task facing us and see nothing else. But, like Joshua, when we choose to fix our eyes on Jesus and His promises, we are given the motivation and strength to be brave.

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OKAY WITH GIVING UP How to pray the prayer of relinquishment by Lori Ann Wood

Following graduate school, my husband and I had a dream. We wanted to open our own accounting practice together, raise children in a small town, and grow old in a tight-knit community, closer to extended family. So, we set aside time in the early mornings to pray. And we prayed hard. We were near the top of our graduating class at a large university. We applied for positions in smaller firms to get our foot in the door, to establish ourselves before putting out our own shingle. We had all the right motives. We got several offers from the Big Eight national firms, but we got few bites from the smaller ones. Finally, we snagged an offer from a local office, just under market value. It was still a bit low, but it was in the area we wanted to live and someday build our practice.

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We breathed a sigh of relief until the interviewer said, “That’s for the both of you,” indicating he was pricing us as a set. I remember looking at my young husband and wincing. Just like that, our expected salaries had fallen in half.

Well, needless to say, we weren’t okay with that. After months of praying, we weren’t sure what to do. The clock was ticking on accepting a job. Should we stop praying? Or should we pray even harder?

I’ve always embraced the Pit-bull-approach to prayer— get ahold of it and never release until you get the result you want—because God honors desperate, determined petitions, like Hannah’s for her long-awaited son Samuel. Or the parable’s widow, pestering the judge. So, I latched onto this career vision and I had a tough time letting go. But looking back, it may have been the right time to voice a prayer of relinquishment.

What It Is The dictionary says “relinquish” means “to voluntarily cease to claim; to hand over willingly; to consider the situation, and make a decision to stop pushing forward.” Spiritually, relinquishment yields to circumstances just as they are, with God as Overseer. When we relinquish, we agree to be satisfied, we agree to give up our quest for change. We agree to stop asking for what we assume is God’s best will. We agree to be okay with what we can’t fully grasp. I don’t understand it, but I accept it. Because I trust You, God, I’m okay with setting this request aside. Jesus prayed a prayer of relinquishment in Gethsemane. He knew the burden of desperate prayer. And He knew about letting it go. Others in Scripture knew what relinquishment felt like, too: faithful Abraham relinquishing his plans for raising Isaac, guilty David relinquishing his infant son’s life, teenage Mary relinquishing her known future.

Relinquishment is different from resignation. Resignation hunkers down in fear and steels itself for the worst. Relinquishment looks fully at the painful situation, releases demands, but clings to hope. Relinquishment is bigger than surrender. Surrender is stepping back, laying down weapons, and admitting defeat. Relinquishment is letting go with expectation, pressing forward with a new vision.

When To Do It Sometimes the calendar or circumstances call for us to relinquish: the job is filled, we get past childbearing years, our “ex” remarries, the casket is closed. But other times, there is no resolution in this realm. And our tendency is to keep asking. But perhaps the Spirit urges us differently sometimes. Ecclesiastes tells us there is a time to give up—not on God—but on searching. Searching for a wholeness, a healing, and a homecoming. Searching for the issue to be resolved our way. Sometimes what we are pursuing is hurtful or destructive, even though it started out differently. Sometimes we have placed our identity in the idea of this pursuit, instead of in God. Sometimes where we are headed is simply outside of God’s best for us, mysterious as it may seem. Relinquishment is not an everyday prayer. It is not the first prayer we pray, but it might be the last. It comes only after we’ve petitioned tirelessly. We have to get to the point past desperation. We have to be prepared to give up the very thing we value most for God’s greater planned good. When we do, a settled peace arrives as the desperation lifts.

Why Do It When we find ourselves bent in two from the weight of our continuing request, we may be at the point of relinquishment. I have come close to this point with my chronic illness. And I’ve reached a new level of intimacy with God.

For those of us who take comfort in calling the shots, it’s a challenging charge. Sometimes it seems our faith depends on our perceived power to move the needle of suffering. Still, as difficult as it is, relinquishment runs deep in our faith. Setting aside self is the core of the gospel message. And that same gospel hinges on hope. Our acceptance of His sometimes-meandering way never precludes ultimate hope. To pray an honest prayer of relinquishment, we must first trust that God’s road never ends in disappointment.

Being Okay With It We walked away from that “two-fer” job offer because it made no sense. We just couldn’t get okay with it. But we held onto our dream for many years until we finally relinquished it. My husband and I never did open our own business. Perhaps by not getting the jobs we wanted, God was laying the groundwork for me to survive a sudden, harsh diagnosis He saw coming long ago. Maybe I wouldn’t have found the care and support I needed under the plan I was doggedly holding onto. But my health detour continues. I still pray every day for healing. And, as you might expect, I pray hard. But, just as with that post-grad school dream, it’s possible that someday I may stop asking. At that point, I would fully anticipate something even better, as my request steps aside. Now, maybe for the first time, I can imagine my intense petition shifting one day to a prayer of relinquishment. When that day comes, I hope I will finally be able to say, because I trust Him, I am more than okay with that.

Lori Ann Wood serves as founding leader of the Parenting Education Ministry at the Church of Christ in Bentonville, Ark., WomenHeart Champion Community Educator, and American Heart Association Ambassador. Lori Ann’s work has been published in numerous print and online venues, including The Christian Century magazine and Pepperdine University Press. Lori Ann and her husband have three children and live in Bentonville, Ark. Read more from her at loriannwood.com.

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And given enough space, those arms can direct something bigger than our own request.

Writer Catherine Marshall says, “A demanding spirit, with self-will as the rudder, blocks prayer.” God has never been in the business of overriding our free will, so until we lay that down, He may, by nature, remain silent or still. His best for us may remain untapped.

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Doug Groothius has nursed his wife (and his own wartorn faith) through the dark tunnel of dementia. He has reached relinquishment with her incurable disease, “Rather than feeling like I’m always beating God with my fists, now I feel more like I’m resting in His arms.”

Maybe the goal of prayer is not so much to gain control of God’s hand, but to open up His arms with possibilities we can’t even conceive. Though the decisions we make in prayer never change His love for us, they may be key to releasing the next part of His plan for us.

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faith CHATS

Encourager OF WOMEN

Shelly Esser is an editor of words and a reader of hearts.

interview by Ann M. Cook

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hen you visit Shelly Esser, you can’t help but notice the stacks of cards on her dining room table and the large crate filled with them in her office. Almost everyone who knows her has received a word of encouragement from her at one time or another be it a card, text, phone call, visit, flowers, or an article that has gone out throughout the world for the last 31 years as executive editor and columnist of Just Between Us—the magazine and ministry to encourage and equip women for a life of faith. It’s just part of her life…something she doesn’t even think about because it’s such an extension of how God has gifted her. Shelly grew up as the oldest of five girls and is the mother of four adult daughters (with her husband John), so she has experienced the joys and challenges of sisterhood while sharing secrets, clothes, and even the bathroom! And it’s really no surprise that back in college God burned on her heart a passion for women. From the time she was in elementary school she has always been a writer. Writing poems, letters to grandparents and best friends, and keeping journals since she became a Christian at 14. Her mother will tell you she wrote novels about her adventures and deep spiritual transformation while away at Capernwray Bible School in England after high school—that ended up being very instrumental in her father’s conversion later.

Throughout her life, she’s faced many challenges—a child who was chronically ill for over a decade, a husband living with a chronic illness, the tragic deaths of her in-laws in a car accident while in her 20s, and other deep sorrows—but it has been out of this reservoir of heartache that God has used her to so empathetically encourage and comfort friends, family, and JBU readers in every state in the U.S.—and over 200 countries. “I see myself as a cheerleader of women,” Shelly says. “Life is hard and there are so many things that can rob us of our energy and strength…I want women to know that I’m in their corner, to offer a word of hope and point them to the faithful God who loves them so they can make it through just one more day. I know how much this can mean as others have done this for me. No matter who you are, everyone needs a big daily dose of encouragement.” A close friend told us, “Shelly helped me put my heart back together after a devastating loss.”

Just Between Us sat down with Shelly to talk about her passion for women and the joy of being an encourager personally and at JBU. The JBU team thought it was about time you get to know her better.

JBU: How did you discover your gift of encouragement? Shelly: I know it might sound strange, but I wake up every day thinking about who needs encouragement and how I can be God’s hands and feet to deliver it. I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember. There’s nothing that gives me greater joy than to be helping other women, whether it’s getting through a rough time or just needing to know they are seen—and letting them know that God thinks the world of them and loves them. JBU: How did you become part of JBU? Shelly: Over 30 years ago, founder Jill Briscoe tapped me on the shoulder to work on a “little” project with her. At the time, there were no resources for ministry wives. Jill had a heart to create one because as she was travelling the world, she found discouraged women who were ready to throw in the towel. But she couldn’t do it alone. I was a baby pastor’s wife at the time and had never put together a newsletter let alone a magazine before. But Jill believed in me, so I learned as I went. It was something I did for years from my kitchen table with little ones under foot. Looking back, Jill, who is like a second mom to me, gave me the confidence I lacked because she never doubted that I could do it. She kept opening doors of opportunity for me. She has taught me the blessing of saying “yes” to God while “doing it scared.”

JBU: Readers send letters from all over the world

sharing how JBU has impacted their lives; what story has been the most memorable? Shelly: One missionary wife’s story still gives me chills. Maria and her husband, who are friends of mine, had

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In addition to her ministry at Just Between Us, her love for women has taken her into numerous churches

“Life is hard and there are so many things than can rob us of our energy and strength…I want women to know that I’m in their corner, to offer a word of hope and point them to the faithful God who loves them…”

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Photography by Wayde Peronto (babbonis.com)

Surprisingly, she struggled in college—and almost dropped out had it not been for her father’s loving and firm push—not knowing what to major in until it became clear her junior year: Journalism. It was the perfect mix, her love for writing and compassion for women coupled with her gift of encouragement. God had a plan all along.

starting and directing women’s ministries (she is currently women's director at Honey Creek Church), being a consultant for leaders, mentoring college interns and budding writers, discipling women, and, most importantly, helping women grow in their faith, and hold their arms up to trust God in the valleys of life.

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“We regularly need someone to see our soul, to listen to us, to understand our stuggles; we need people to help us carry our burdens and stand with us in prayer. We can then find strength and courage to carry on.”

befriended a Muslim couple on the mission field. The wife began asking her questions about Christianity, so she gave her some back issues of JBU. She loved the articles but was afraid her husband would object to them, so she hid them in their bedroom closet. Her husband had recently lost his job and become depressed. While she was gone, he planned to end his life. He wrote a farewell letter, hung a rope in their bedroom, placed a stool underneath it, and fitted the noose. Suddenly, he felt compelled to look in the closet where he found the magazines. The first article he read spoke directly to his situation. He read more articles, took the rope down, and called his wife. When she arrived home, he was holding the magazines. She was filled with fear. But instead of berating her, he flooded her with questions. She told him about her Christian friends, and he asked, “Do you think they would talk to me?” The result was a growing friendship and the opportunity to share Christ with this troubled man. Both the husband and wife became Christians. God used copies of JBU hidden in a closet in a Muslim country to carry the message of the gospel to a needy couple. Only God!

J BU: In what ways has God used JBU to encourage you?

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Shelly: The biggest surprise has been the multitude of readers and authors alike, who God has used to encourage my heart when I needed it most. Many have sent cards and told me they are praying for me and my family. And God has blessed me with life-long friendships even though we’ve never met face to face—some go back 30 years.

I’ll never forget the day a manuscript arrived in my email from a mom whose son was just diagnosed with Leukemia. I was in the throes of my own daughter’s health crises, so as I read the piece my heart connected immediately. It came on one of my darkest days. I buried my face in my hands and just wept. Here was another mom who understood this lonely place, who knew what it was like to look into her child’s hurting eyes and feel helpless. God put words to all my unspoken bottled-up pain through hers, and gently massaged my heart with a reminder that He was with me, and I wasn’t alone. We became close friends—she has been a treasure in my darkness. And it’s our common pain that’s brought us together in a way that God knew we both needed—all through a manuscript that was providentially emailed!

JBU: What woman has most influenced you? Shelly: My mother. Never underestimate the power of your influence as a mom, and especially in these

times, as a grandmother. I am a Christian today and developed a heart for God and ministry by watching her love and obedience to God. She came to Christ at a time when our family was crumbling and heading towards another divorce statistic. Her prayer was to have a Christian family, so she got down to the business of partnering with God to make that happen. I’m sure it was discouraging at times to pack up five young girls and head to church alone, but she continued to be faithful. Due to her witness and courage, the whole family eventually came to Christ, her marriage was restored, and now she is impacting the next generation.

JBU: You’ve said, “When You step out in faith, God often blesses you more than you can imagine.” How so?

Shelly: I’ve struggled my whole life with fear, so my tendency has always been to sit on the sidelines, to be a spectator in life. So just taking the first step has often felt scary. But God has asked me to just take one step at a time, which I’ve done though the opportunities He has sent my way. I’ve discovered gifts I never knew I had, found friendships I would have missed, and have come to know Christ in deeper ways that would not have been possible had I not stepped out in trust. JBU: Why is it so important to include the tough things in the magazine?

Shelly: Because as much as we would like it not to be true, we live in a fallen world where real pain impacts us daily. It’s a disservice to paint a Christian life that is free from problems. Circumstances happen that take our breath away. I’ve experienced these—words you never wanted to hear and situations you never imagined facing. We need to be courageous enough to open the discussion and invite others in to share their stories without shame. The church often gives the opposite message or lags behind to provide the resources needed to walk through the harder things of life. Before it was popular, we addressed topics like depression, domestic violence, pornography, addiction, and homosexuality. We faced subscription cancellations and criticism as a result. But we also received calls and letters from women thanking us through their tears because they had felt so alone and had no one they could talk to about these issues that were turning their lives upside down.

JBU has strived to be a safe place for women to come and read about real life problems, find help, and be pointed to the hope found in Christ. We have been so blessed to have courageous writers who are willing to share their messy stories to encourage others. God wants

✿ us to be authentic and real with each other because it’s in that context that healing and hope can happen.

JBU: What encouragement can we give to those who are suffering?

Shelly: Suffering people are often unable to ask for help because they are so exhausted and consumed by their pain that they don’t know what they need; they’re just trying to survive. Galatians 6:2 commands us to “bear one another’s burdens.” We do this by inviting ourselves into the sacred places of their pain to help them carry the load. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you while taking the initiative to come alongside someone, especially with challenges that don’t have an end date. In these cases, we need to be willing to be one of the long haulers who will not forget them and continue to bear their burdens. There is nothing worse than feeling alone. So often, we feel like our words are inadequate because words are not going to reverse what happened, take the pain away, cure an illness, etc. But bearing one another’s burdens doesn’t always involve saying something. It involves just being there. It may be your physical presence, a card, text, call, prayer, or practical help like meals and household help. When I look back, it was the people who just showed up in all kinds of ways that helped me the most. It’s called the ministry of burden-bearing and it’s powerful! It has an incredible way of bringing life, hope, strength, and joy at a time when those things can be absent— it can be the hands and feet of Jesus.

J BU: How have you held onto your faith through all the ups and downs?

Shelly: Honestly, God has held on to me. There have been seasons when I felt like I was losing my grip, but God’s presence became bigger than every challenge. Because I had built a solid foundation in the beginning decade of my faith by feeding on His Word, I know in Whom I trust. I know His character—His goodness, His love, His faithfulness—so when heartache hits, the truth of Who He is always accompanies and comforts me. I’ve had to leave my whys—sometimes kicking and screaming—at His feet trusting He has information I don’t. This has filled me with peace even though the hard wasn’t any less hard. When I needed strength, He gave it to me. When I needed my tears dried, He collected them in His bottle, when I felt like I was drowning, He sent along friends and family as a lifeline to encourage me. His loving encouragement to keep going has never failed to surround me and hold me together.

It’s often when we’re not okay—that God’s greatest power is unleashed to work in our circumstances. The weight often feels too much to bear until someone grabs on and helps us carry the load. This can’t happen if we pretend we’re okay. And as we let others enter our not okay moments, we come to understand more about what it means to share in the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings.

JBU: What can women do to live lives of hope and purpose?

Shelly: Each of us have experiences and stories to share that will give us purpose if we allow God to use them to bring hope to others. When I have been willing to say “yes” to God and let Him use my story, I have always been surprised. I’ve received the most reader feedback when I have written about my deepest pain. Living through the storms and getting to the other side has been God’s plan for using me to encourage others so that they will have hope that they, too, can get to the other side. God can use our greatest pain for our greatest ministry. JBU: Any last words? Shelly: Encouragement is a way for us to feed others’ souls spiritually. I find it interesting that in the early church agents of encouragement were sent out into the churches for this sole purpose. Paul says in 1 Thess. 3:2, “We sent Timothy to strengthen and encourage you in your faith.” Everyone needs a Timothy! Hebrews 3:13 says, “But encourage one another daily.” There are opportunities all around us to be cheering on those God has put in our circles of influence—even strangers. Who are you going to come alongside today to bring comfort, strength, and hope to? A note or phone call can carry someone spiritually and emotionally for days, even weeks. Encouragement is that powerful!

Ann M. Cook, MSN, RN, is a retired

nurse and nursing instructor. She and her husband, Randy, enjoy three grown children, a son and daughter-in-law, and five delightful grandchildren. She lives in Waukesha, Wis.

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Shelly: We’re all yearning for someone—anyone—to see the real us in the raw. But so often, we’re afraid to share that part of ourselves. God prefers us to say we’re not okay rather than pretend. Just look at how David poured out his heart in the psalms of lament. God

Christ Himself did not hide His suffering from the world but hung on a cross with a crown of thorns. Perhaps we’re afraid others might judge us for the way we aren’t handling things. Being in the trenches of suffering isn’t pretty. But by not being real, we encourage one another to lead inauthentic lives. By not being honest, we deny the Body of Christ the opportunity to minister to us at a time when we need the collective support of other people to make it through another hard day.

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JBU: Is it really okay to say that you’re not okay?

allows us to express and feel our pain and feel it deeply. We regularly need someone to see our soul, to listen to us, to understand our struggles; we need people to help us carry our burdens and stand with us in prayer. We can then find strength and courage to carry on.

rust T Stepping-Stones of

God as your Rock will strengthen your faith. by Heather Hagstrom

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he next stepping-stone tipped unevenly. Will it hold me? I took a step of trust in the middle of a vast Japanese garden pond. In order to not fall into the water with the large, speckled koi and the white water lilies, I looked just one step ahead.

I needed God’s help to remember that the last stone held me, the current stone was holding me, and the next stone would hold me too. I felt relieved when my feet finally touched solid ground on the other side of the pond, but each stepping-stone experience helped me to trust that God would carry me across stepping-stones in future garden ponds.

During this COVID-19 pandemic, the uncertainty of steady income, good health, and consistent relationships has flooded our pathways in life. It can feel like we are taking a step of trust that God will provide and be with us in every circumstance each day. Remembering the biblical account of the Israelites entering the Promised Land can encourage us to deepen our trust in God. Just as they learned to take obedient steps of faith in the midst of numerous obstacles, each difficult season in our lives can be a stepping-stone to help us trust God more.

Remember

God’s Past Faithfulness

We can remember God’s faithfulness in previous stepping-stones of our lives by recounting how God has already taken care of us. After Joshua miraculously led the nation of Israel across the Jordan River on dry ground during the flood stage, God told Joshua to delegate one man from each of the twelve tribes to pick up twelve stones from the middle of the river (Josh. 4:2–3). These stones were placed as “a memorial to the people of Israel forever” (Josh. 4:9, 7b). God wanted them to remember that He is powerful so they would always revere Him (Josh. 4:24). During a mission trip, I was encouraged to pick up a rock on a mountain overlooking the place where we served orphans. My team gathered during our last evening together and placed our stones in a pile as we each recounted how God worked in our lives and in the lives of the children that we served. I remembered how God sustained us and protected us from various trials. In the midst of these difficulties, God graciously used us to share God’s love and truth with grieving children. When I was diagnosed with cancer, God led me to journal my prayers and create a photo album to remember His faithfulness to me in the darkest season of my life. Likewise, we can set up spiritual stones of remembrance for God’s past faithfulness to us. By remembering how God has taken care of us in symbols, journal entries, photo albums, and memories, we can be encouraged to trust God more.

Reflect

on God’s Current Provisions

Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” We can be thankful to God in our prayers each day, even during trials, by reflecting on how He provides for our daily needs. During this COVID-19 crisis, I am even more thankful for the fresh garden produce God graciously provides in the summer. As I pick the ripe fruit and vegetables and eat many delicious meals from the home-grown produce, I am in awe of God’s care for me.

“We can stand on God by reflecting as our on God’s current provisions.”

firmrock

God used the priests who blew the trumpets to help the Israelites rejoice in God’s future conquest of the city. The first time the Israelites attempted to enter the Promised Land 40 years earlier, they had focused on the obstacles of the strong people and the fortified cities instead of trusting in God’s care for them (Deut. 1:28, 32). However, this second time, they succeeded because they kept their focus on God instead of on the problem by surrounding their enemy of Jericho in triumphal praise. In the same way, we can sing praises to God as we step out in trust on future stepping-stones. We can surround our obstacles of fear, doubt, and worry with victorious praise because God is greater than our largest problems. We can rejoice in God’s future care by trusting that God will take care of us each day. As believers in Jesus, we can rejoice even in the midst of this pandemic and future trials because we have a heavenly inheritance “that can never perish, spoil, or fade” (1 Pet. 1:4). As our faith is refined in each stepping-stone experience in our lives, we can be filled with an “inexpressible and glorious joy” (1 Pet. 1:8b). While working as a teacher during the uncertainty of this pandemic, God has been teaching me to deepen my trust in Him. During a recent nature hike, the secure trail suddenly ended, so I needed to cross a stream with stepping-stones to continue my walk. This encounter reminded me of the need to remember, reflect, and rejoice in God’s care for me. Each trial is an opportunity to depend on God. As we trust in the Lord instead of in our circumstances, we can be strengthened in our faith to obey God by taking steps of trust on life’s stepping-stones.

Heather Hagstrom is a member of the Heart of America Christian Writer’s Network. She is a freelance writer and a teacher of students with visual impairments. She lives in Overland Park, Kan.

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Instead of worrying about the future, we can reflect on God’s faithful care for us.

in God’s Future Care

As we look at the next stepping-stone in our lives, we can rejoice in God’s future care. As the Israelites prepared to conquer the strong fortress of Jericho, God told Joshua, “See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men” (Josh. 6:2). As the armed men marched around the city one time each day for six days, the priests continually blew their trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark of God (Josh. 6:3–4). On the seventh day, the Israelites marched around the city seven times—the priests were commanded to give a trumpet blast on the seventh time around, as the people shouted in victory (Josh. 6:15–16).

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We can stand on God as our firm rock by reflecting on God’s current provisions. God promises perfect peace to those who keep their steadfast trust in Him, since God is our eternal Rock (Is. 26:3-4). After the Israelites crossed the Jordan River to enter the Promised Land, God provided food of unleavened bread and roasted grain from the produce of the land (Josh. 5:11). The manna the people had survived on in their desert wanderings for 40 years stopped “the day after they ate this food from the land” (Josh. 5:12).

Rejoice

alone WITH THE

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Alone

Your prayer life may be the catalyst for a life-long devotion in those watching you. by Debra Celovsky

hen I was growing up, my sister and I would occasionally spend the night with our paternal grandparents. Their house was modest, the furnishings worn and comfortable. The sweet, earthy scent of summertime canning lingered in their home year round. There was a wooden stand next to my grandfather’s recliner on which his Bible rested alongside a small stack of notes. He was a great one for notes. His small, spidery handwriting covered page after page. A prolific output of preaching material was also produced on a manual Underwood typewriter. Our oldest son, now a fourth-generation pastor himself, has excavated that old Underwood from a shelf in our garage to clean and restore. My grandmother’s rocking chair would be nearby, doilies on the arms and back. Across the room on a shelf under the big window, her African violets bloomed. She would sit and read her Bible through thick glasses, reaching into a sleeve from time to time to retrieve a handkerchief.

precious comfort.

“The time we spend with Him sanctifies the balance of time in our lives. Being alone with the Alone, the sovereign God, is a The more we pray, the more we want to pray.” Grandpa was a cowboy in Colorado back in the day, Grandma a schoolteacher in Idaho. When Frank and Irene married, they both knew God had called them to China. In 1939, as war approached in the south of that country, they still sailed, along with their nine-year-old son. An orphanage they established housed and fed dozens of orphans as the country starved. In later years, they planted a number of churches in the states. He would order tracts, buy a city map, and begin canvassing the town in which they lived, one street at a time. Invariably, he found people ready to hear the gospel, and he and Grandma would love them into God’s kingdom.

Simple Fervency But it was those evenings when we spent the night that made one of the most significant spiritual impressions on my young spirit. When it was time for bed, we would sit in the living room while Grandpa read a passage of Scripture. Then, he would kneel at his chair and we would do the same. They would begin to pray. We would pray too, of course, but mostly I remember listening. There, in the lamplit room, I heard my grandparents talk with God. Such fervent prayer. And such joy. They thanked Him for daily blessings. They prayed for the needs of others—this one ill, that one in great difficulty. They finished with thanksgiving that He was coming again. Grandpa, hunched over the seat of his chair, would clap his hands and rejoice, while Grandma’s voice lifted in praise.

The Secret Place is Anywhere In the toddler years, the secret place may be where you escape, curl up, say a quick prayer, and nap while the kiddos nap. My daughter-in-law, when her two children were ages three years old and ten months old, once said: “Some days I have some time early in the morning with the Lord and the Word before they wake. Other days I just put on some Christian music at some point and we dance and praise to worship songs. That’s all I can manage for that day.” In the teen years, let’s be honest, it may be a padded room where you pray while banging your head against the wall. The goal, however, is an increasingly mature and fruitful development of this discipline. Those early practices help cultivate the soil of our hearts and establish the roots of devotion. At the heart of what Jesus instructed is something English theologian B.C. Caffin called, “hushing your heart into the solemn consciousness of the presence of God, to be solus cum solo.” Or, we may say, to be alone with the Alone. The first time I read this, I sat with that beautiful statement a while. Here are some things to consider: • The habits we establish early in life may remain, in some pattern, throughout life.

Simple Familiarity

• If we have formed the habit of prayer, it will conform to the next season of life. Our love of meeting God will intensify.

I knew of their history and calling, their work in China, their utter devotion to the gospel. But, in that room on those evenings I simply felt the deep comfort of their familiarity with God. It never left me. As I grew up, I wanted that, too. So I pursued their beautiful and humbly modeled relationship with the Savior.

• As time goes by, we should mature in the ministry of intercession. This is not walking through the mall kind of prayer. This is “taking hold of the horns of the altar.” The church and the world are in desperate need of Christians who will enter into intercessory prayer— that intense, fervent seeking after God.

Recently, while reflecting on the effect of this memory, I revisited Matthew 6. There, on a hill rising above the Sea of Galilee, Jesus teaches both His disciples and the multitudes about prayer: “Go into your room, shut the door, and pray.” He instructs not only on the pattern, but on a place—a secret place.

The time we spend with Him sanctifies the balance of time in our lives. Being alone with the Alone, the sovereign God, is a precious comfort. The more we pray, the more we want to pray. It doesn’t change God, of course, it changes us. We are better able to recognize the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit during times of difficulty or suffering.

Debra Celovsky has served with her husband in pastoral ministry most of her adult life. She also serves on the board of Inspire Christian Writers, and blogs on life and legacy at debracelovsky.com.

spring 2022

Addressing this “spiritual effort of devotion,” one 19th century writer suggests that we may “find the soul’s secret chamber in the heart of a crowd, while walking through the busy street, or while rushing through the countryside in a railway carriage full of fellow travelers.”

It is a glorious thing when familiarity imprints the heart of a child. But, remember that your faithfulness and joy in prayer may also be the catalyst for lifelong devotion in other hearts as well.

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We might wonder about this. It surely isn’t possible all the time. But how are we to faithfully obey?

Mom Guilt Letting go of control. by Rachel Greening

e are headed to an emergency dentist for little miss who broke her two front teeth at the park today,” my friend wrote, adding three crying emoji’s. “She is okay. I was a wreck when it happened. I feel terrible! Please pray for us.” It’s always there, isn’t it? Our most faithful foe—the mom guilt. One moment you are frustrated and eager to get just a minute to yourself, and then when you’re away, you miss those little faces like crazy. Or they do a normal childhood thing like trip while playing at the park and we immediately take the blame. It extends from our daytime hours into the night, keeping us awake with “why didn’t I...?” or “what if...?” or “how can I...?”.

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spring 2022

I’m not sure about you but I have never received an answer to those questions. As our imagination runs wild with scenarios, the further I go down the rabbit hole, the more anxious I become. This mom guilt seems to be experienced by us all, from newbies to the well-seasoned to empty nesters and everyone in between. In some ways, it's only natural for a nurturer to be preoccupied with whomever is in their care, but where does that heightened and obsessive responsibility come from? Is it placed on us by society? Do we do it to ourselves? Or is it something innate?

Guilt is a natural emotion

It is rightly taught that for the believer, guilt is not from God. Guilt is from the enemy to distract and discourage us from living our best God-led life. The definition of guilt by Psychology Today explains that “guilt is a natural emotional response when one causes harm to another.” The experts explain that it can be helpful but “in excess, guilt may needlessly burden those who experience it.” Can I get an amen? Misplaced guilt is from the enemy, and conviction of sin is from Christ. However, it’s all too easy to take this temptation at face value and not delve deeper into the roots of its deception. I feel guilty because I perceive that I have done something wrong or that I have harmed another. It is not against God’s law to practice self-care or discipline your child. It is not against God’s law for your child to fall or make a mistake and receive the natural consequences. So, if I’m not breaking God’s law, what law am I breaking?

Breaking down the infraction

The law which we have broken is our own social contract—my personal ten commandments that I have created in my heart of what a mother should and should not do. • I shall not raise my voice over a Mary Poppins approved level or my child will need therapy. • I shall not be away for longer than an hour or the house will burn down. • I shall not wait too long to start music lessons or my child will be behind. • I shall not neglect Sunday school or my child will not become a Christian. Have you seen the pattern? Each self-made “rule” is not only filled with the worst-case scenario, but holds one particularly large piece of misinformation: the outcome is a result of what we do or don’t do. Let’s say it together: We are not in control.

Turn the tables

It is a familiar lie that we tell ourselves and is as old as the Garden of Eden. The lie is that we can control our future through our actions. • I cannot prevent a tornado from hitting my house. I can only prepare for it.

• I cannot keep my children safe while I’m away, but I can put an adult in charge whom I trust.

The Bible has a lot to say about worry. The verse I cling to the most is found in Paul’s letter to the Philippians: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things” (Phil. 4:6-8).

“You do what you are able, and the rest you leave to the mighty and powerful Creator God who loves them more than you can even fathom.” Verse 6 and 8 get a lot of airtime, but it’s that beautiful promise sandwiched in between that brings me the most comfort. God’s peace will guard me. His peace will guard my mind against the infinite list of scenarios in which I fail and my kids suffer. He will guard my heart when I, in my human frailty, do inevitably fail my kids and they consequently suffer for it. But for that I need not feel guilt, for I am a flawed human striving to provide the best life that I can for the people He has put in my care. You do what you are able, and the rest you leave to the mighty and powerful Creator God who loves them more than you can even fathom. Bring it all to Christ in prayer and leave it there at His feet. He has taken it from you. Now walk and live in the peace that comes from knowing you don’t need to be in control because your always good heavenly Father is.

Rachel Greening is an entrepreneur's wife, mom of three, and author of the children's book If My Oak Tree Could Speak. You can read more of her writing and poetry at rachelgreeningwrites.com.

spring 2022

• I cannot ensure my child will accept salvation, but I can model what a life in Christ looks like and preach the gospel in word and deed.

God’s Word on Worry

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• I cannot prevent myself from feeling anger, but I can pray for the Holy Spirit’s help to not act upon it.

As mothers we plan and prep and pray and then, the only thing left, is to relinquish control. Let go. Holding onto it like a backseat driver will only complicate the situation. When we micro-manage, we are taking responsibility for something we have given to someone else. What we must drill into our bones is the truth that God is in control, and God is always good. I cannot manipulate circumstances or my children to bend to my will. If something veers off my mom-plan, it is not an automatic license to internally condemn myself to my selfmade prison of guilt. So how do we go about breaking the cycle of misaligned expectations? We align ourselves with what God’s Word has to say about it.

UR FEARS O Y

D •

ET • L H

O T H Y T OU HOW NO

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BY J ILL BRISCOE

“…THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE, BUT PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR…”

re you a fearful person? All of us have experienced fear. There’s surely enough to be frightened of in our fallen world. For me, the pandemic has churned up fears like never before, so in my fear, I went to the Lord. Psalm 91:5 says, “You will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness or the plague that destroys at midday.” As I struggled with my fears, I talked to God about it. “It’s not my will that my children should live in fear,” He said gently. I had spent much of my life living scared. We began to talk of the way, over the years, He had helped me overcome many of my fears that in the past had buried me. If I had overcome some, then why not others? Why not this one? “If you fear God, you have nothing else to fear,” Jesus reminded me. “Don’t fear him who can kill the body! Fear Him who has the power to cast both body and soul into hell. The devil is the father of fear whereas God is the Father of faith.”

“Say it now.” “All right. Do you remember how I hated to be made fun of ever since I was a little girl?” “Well, you were really shy growing up. Then you became my child who must stand up and speak out and that took care of your self-consciousness in a hurry!” “Thank You, Lord, for making me a witness to You! Then, You helped me with the fear of loneliness too, Lord. You knew I would spend a good part of many years being apart from Stuart, as he traveled. That was where I learned to lean on You! Thank You, Lord!” Then there was the fear for my children’s future. Don’t you remember my inordinate fear that they wouldn’t walk with You; that they would grow up to resent the time we spent in ministry?” “You had to learn to let that go and commit to go on with me even if your children didn’t.” “That was hard!”

Some fears protect us but when the fear prevents us from being obedient—that’s a problem.

“Yes. But once said and meant, it dealt with the fear, didn’t it?”

“The fear of death is a biggie, isn’t it, Lord? You remember how flying nearly grounded me as a speaker? How could I get on a plane in total panic and then get off and start speaking about faith? Then, You reminded me that sometimes I needed to do the right thing frightened. You gave me real victory in this area of my life—that’s because You gave me lots of practice!”

“Truly, it did!” “Jill, when fear sees faith coming it trembles; it knows it’s days are numbered. Where is your faith?”

“I noticed,” He said, “that you just got your 100,000-mile frequent flyer card for actual miles flown in one year. Well done!”

That was the question. Where was it? I had enough evidence of His power over fear in my past to take care of all the fears in the present and future, but where was it? Why was this punishing fear for our health and welfare, our family, ministry opportunities, the pandemic, still able to paralyze me?

“Well, it’s been faith that has chased my fears away! Faith in a God big enough, near enough, and powerful enough to teach me how to trust and not be afraid.”

“Remember,” He said, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment!”

There was a long silence. We were both thinking about the same thing.

It was late in the day. I didn’t want to get up and deal with my fears waiting for me. So, I lingered, playing with words on a bit of paper, catching our conversation in poetry (on the next page), the favorite way He had given me so I could remember His advice to chase my fears away with faith.

“How come I still have so many obsessive fears?” “How come indeed?”

“Oh Lord, I feel terrible. Like the nine lepers who forgot to come back and say thank you!”

SCAN ME

Scan this code with your mobile device to find more articles by Jill Briscoe.

spring 2022

“Start by thanking me for all the fears I have overcome for you, Jill. This will give you confidence.”

Jill Briscoe was born in Liverpool, England. She has partnered with her husband in ministry for over 60 years. Jill is the founder of Just Between Us. She and her husband, Stuart, live in southeast Wisconsin.

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“I don’t know—as soon as I get over one thing there are a hundred other things waiting for me to be afraid of, waiting in line!”

SEES FAITH R A CO FE M N IN E H When fear sees faith a-coming, when doubt sees truth displayed With the truth that is in Jesus, how can I be dismayed?

When tears are wept in secret, when sorrow’s night descends, Then faith in Jesus’ power my sorry soul defends.

When I am busy drowning, in a sea of deep despair,

When bitter pain takes over and my soul needs God’s repair,

When loneliness overwhelms me with an ache that none can touch; And I’m crushed with disappointments, and life is just too much.

When danger threatens loved ones, when death stalks near to home. When war shall rise against us, when panic’s on the throne. Remind us of Your promises, renew our heart in grace,

And help us live in righteousness and truth before Your face. So, Jesus be our comfort and remind us in Your Word

That a small voice in the tempest can incredibly be heard In the heaven You inhabit, in the Love Land where You live

As You travel through the universe Your peace to us to give! So, wait now in the stillness that garrisons your soul,

Yes, wait with hands uplifted till He comes and makes you whole, So, when faith sees fear a-coming to fill your heart with dread Trust Jesus great and mighty, and trust what He has said. © Jill Briscoe

Download this printable poem at justbetweenus.org.

Help your little ones meet God in their everyday moments. From the moment we wake until we go back to bed, every day is filled with ordinary moments that allow us to connect with God. T his collection of short prayers for children to pray throughout their days—on the way to school, when noticing a bird in a tree, or looking at the stars—will bring delight, and help them begin to recognize the nearness of God.

Available May 31, 2022 Order at ivpkids.com.

For doing Chores Dear God, Sometimes it’s hard to do work But I ask for the strength to do my chores well Jesus worked— to create, to build, to love, and to heal. Help me ﬁnd some small joy in my work today.

courageous WOMEN

n i Pa DOES THE

OF ABORTION EVER GO AWAY?

How one woman’s courageous story is bringing hope to hurting women. by MaryAnne Constantine

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fter I finished leading a Bible study, a woman came up and got in my face: “Have you had an abortion?” My thoughts were racing. How did she know? I had to make a quick decision.

We were studying 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I replayed what I had said earlier: No sin is unforgivable if we repent and bring it to the Lord. Did I mention abortion? Was my voice shaky?

As a follower of Jesus, I couldn’t lie. My eyes swelled with tears as I nodded and told her a little of my story, which I had never before shared with anyone other than my husband. She told me she, too, had had an abortion. We hugged each other tightly, feeling a washing over of our shame, guilt, and imperfection. Just by connecting through our painful stories, this small encounter with this beautiful woman, who has become my forever friend, brought a little healing to my heart.

Forgiven and Set Free

Have you ever heard someone talk about abortion as if it’s the worst sin? How could a woman choose to murder her baby? This is said without regard for the real-life, post-abortive women who may be sitting quietly in the group in shame. I experienced this more times than I care to remember. Each time, my chains got tighter in my self-made prison with thick walls of shame and guilt. Any chances of opening up to receive deliverance from my pain were shattered by those sharp cutting comments. I agree that abortion is sin; however, that is superseded by the greater truth that in Christ we are forgiven and set free from all our sins!

Jesus Suffered for All Our Sins

A few years later, this friend and I attended a women’s retreat together. The speaker boldly proclaimed to the group, “One in every three women in a crowd like this has had an abortion.” My eyes widened. Is there a scarlet letter on my chest? Can others see it? I noticed one woman who broke down and wept. During this retreat, we were asked to carry a small bag of rocks around with us. It symbolized the burdens and unconfessed sin we carry around, because we think we have to bear them in silence. That evening, the speaker asked us to bring our bags of rocks up to the foot of the cross, confess our need for our Savior, and leave our burdens at His feet. Glancing at the woman I had seen weeping earlier, I grabbed my friend by the hand and said, “We need to pray for somebody.” We made our way over to the woman assuring her, “You’re not alone. We’re here to pray for you. We, too, are among the one in three who’ve had an abortion.”

through

This intentional Bible study was instrumental in setting me free from the post-abortive burden I had been suffering in silence with all these years. Eighteen of those years were after I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I had never fully forgiven myself and truly received God’s forgiveness for this sin. But the PACE study finally released the scar tissue that had formed around my heart. I was truly forgiven and set free! And when “the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36). As a result, I began serving, leading PACE Bible studies, which in turn helped more women to be set free and begin serving in this ministry. As leaders, we must never allow pride to interfere with our ministering to others. It’s pride in us that echoes: What will they think of me if I openly share my truth— my life? Partnering with pride and its ugly cousin, insecurity, hinders us from divine connections and open doors that God wants to provide.

A Ripple Effect of Healing

In 2013, I was asked to speak at my church’s women’s retreat. The Lord was calling me to share my testimony—without holding anything back. My thoughts swirled with fear and doubt. Am I really ready for this? How can I speak before all these women—the pastor’s wife, other ministry leaders, and my family members who did not yet know this part of my story? After much prayer, I laid down my pride and said yes to the Lord’s invitation. Before the retreat, I began to share my story with those closest to me. First, I shared it with my own children. My best friend and sisters-in-law planned to attend the retreat; I wanted them to first hear from me personally. They all received my story with grace—they loved, affirmed, and accepted me. I experienced so much healing in doing this.

our messes to bring hope to the hurting around us.

spring 2022

…God works

Because I had to fill out a volunteer application, I was again faced with the question: “Have you had an abortion?” Again, I answered yes. I also answered no to “Have you received any counseling?” As a result, I was required to attend a 10-week Post-Abortive Counseling and Education (PACE) group.

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She broke down again, unable to grasp what we were sharing with her. She believed God could not forgive her of this sin, and she could not forgive herself. We reminded her of Jesus’ great love for her and His suffering on the cross for every sin. We embraced, cried together, and encouraged her to give this burden to Jesus. We told her we would do it together. After a time of prayer, she agreed to go forward with us to lay our burdens down. That evening was another example of how God works through our messes to bring hope to the hurting around us.

My freedom finally came in 2012—28 years after my abortion. I volunteered to serve in a pregnancy care center opening in my community. My painful past led me to minister to women facing unplanned pregnancies to help them choose life. My regret, my shame, and my emotional pain would finally be worked out for good, as the Lord promises in Romans 8:28.

The ten women who had participated in my first PACE Bible study came to the retreat to support me. I prayed for the Holy Spirit’s help. Once again, the message was received with grace and kindness. Many women reached out to me to share similar stories. Hugs, tears, and God’s acceptance flowed through these women. My vulnerability liberated others to share openly, as well. Since that retreat, I have been blessed to share at more retreats and with other churches in multiple states. God is working miracles in life after life! Today and every day, I celebrate the new life I have received in Christ—truly forgiven and set free. I pray that you, too, will make the bold decision to be vulnerable, to connect with people who are living in silence. Be aware of those around you in self-made prisons of shame and guilt; share with others who just might relate to your story. With boldness and joy, let’s celebrate life to the fullest!

Be Brave "Your bravery wins a thousand battles you can't see because your bravery

strengthens

a thousand others to win their battles too." ANN VOSKAMP

MaryAnne Constantine is a

passionate follower of Jesus, wife of Arthur for 37 years, and mom of four adult children. A certified public accountant, she runs her own tax business from her home. She also enjoys leading women’s Bible studies and speaking at retreats. Contact her at maryanneconstantine@gmail.com.

Download this printable art at justbetweenus.org.

Be Empowered to Make Positive Life Choices

Staffing an open position goes well beyond a resume.

Care Net is Here to Help

You or someone you know might be one of thousands of women each year who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and don’t know where to turn. Care Net is a national Christ-centered organization offering immediate, compassionate support along with the best resources and services that help empower women to choose life for their unborn children and abundant life for their families. The Care Net network partners with over 1,100 pregnancy centers across North America that serve clients in their local communities.

There is Hope

By empowering women to make courageous, life-affirming choices since its inception in 1975, Care Net centers provide accurate information, caring support, and confidential services without charge that most often include: • Free pregnancy tests • Information about pregnancy options • Material resources • Consultation with a licensed medical professional • Limited ultrasounds for pregnancy confirmation • Parenting education • Post-abortion recovery groups

There are answers

Find a local Care Net affiliate in your area by calling 877-791-5475 or email info@care-net.org. Please note: Care Net affiliated pregnancy centers do not perform or refer for abortion and do not profit from any client’s decision.

Have You Had an Abortion?

At current rates, 43 percent of women by the time they reach the age of 45 will have had at least one abortion. If you need to work through feelings or are hurting from a previous abortion, PACE (Post-Abortive Counseling and Education) groups are available at many pregnancy centers across the country. Trained volunteers facilitate confidential support groups that offer the Forgiven and Set Free Bible Study and walk alongside women as they begin a journey of forgiveness and healing.

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Find Support and Healing

Reach out today by contacting Care Net at 877-791-5475 or email info@care-net.org to locate the center nearest you that offers the PACE program for women dealing with post-abortion issues. ~Suzan Braun

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YOUR STORY

Grace and Joy in an Unexpected Easter by Dyann Shepard

n Easter Sunday several years ago, my husband and I were out of town. We were looking for a place to worship. At each church we came across, we seemed to have already missed the service. Eventually, we found a small church in the old section of Salinas, California. That morning’s service is forever etched on my heart and mind. The pastor announced he would not be giving a sermon. Instead, we would spend the morning praising God for what He had done for us through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. There was a simplicity and tenderness to the service. The small congregation was an eclectic assortment of people. Some were dressed in their Easter finest, while many others appeared to be homeless and just off the street. The man sitting next to me was disheveled and missing most of his teeth. As we sang a familiar hymn, I looked toward him. Tears were running down his cheeks, as they were mine. At that moment, I saw him as my brother. We were both God’s children, not because of who we were, what we had, or what we did, but solely based on Who Christ is and what He has done for us. We were part of the family of God. Later in the service, a woman dressed in a purple robe with a big turban on her head suddenly ran down the aisle, praising God loudly. As she rushed down the aisle, another woman, dressed in a beautiful yellow suit, jumped up, ran after her, and threw her arms around her. The woman in yellow just held her and loved her in the most touching scene. I was overcome with emotion and sensed that this was a sacred moment.

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The service was almost over when the pastor invited a family of six from Tonga to sing. They sang Jesus Christ is Risen Today acapella and their voices filled the little church with the beauty and richness of any choir I had ever heard. My heart, even now, is filled with joy and my eyes with tears as I recall this incredible moment.

Dyann Shepard

As the service ended and the offering plate was passed, the pastor announced that the morning collection would be given to four other churches in the area that were struggling. This sacrificial gift brought to my mind the passage in Luke 21:3-4 about the widow whose small offering was worth more in the eyes of Jesus than that of any other. “‘Truly I tell you,’ he said, ‘this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.’”

“…God is present in simple things. Our worship is not dependent on the presentation; it is only dependent on the presence of Christ.”

I left that service with a profound sense of God’s presence. It reminded me that, as beautiful as Easter pageants, lilies, and choirs are, our God is present in simple things. Our worship is not dependent on the presentation; it is only dependent on the presence of Christ. The pandemic has changed many celebrations and traditions. Some of those changes have made us feel lonely—I am reminded that the cross was lonely. Just like my Easter Sunday in Salinas, many gatherings have not taken place the way we planned. But in the unexpected and unplanned, God will always meet us. God has not changed. He is with us, and we can experience grace and joy when we open ourselves to His holy presence.

is a wife, mother, grandmother, writer, Bible teacher, former staff member of CRU, and former Stephen’s Minister. Her passion is writing about experiencing God’s presence in our daily lives as we open our hearts to Him.

personalparables.com

Hope, Encragement, Guidance Pasr's Wife and

for the

Christine Hoover knows firsthand the unique struggles and opportunities afforded a pastor’s wife—she’s been filling that role for more than 20 years. Coming alongside as an understanding friend, she offers encouragement and guidance to the struggling pastor’s wife, showing her how to make meaningful personal relationships with God, her husband, her children, her church community, and other women—relationships that will sustain her and help her thrive.

Order your copy through BAKER BOOK HOUSE for or great deals!

CHRISTINE HOOVER is a pastor’s wife, mom of three boys, host of the

Available wherever books and ebooks are sold.

spring 2022

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By Faith podcast, and author of several books, including With All Your Heart Heart, Searching for Spring, Messy Beautiful Friendship, and From Good to Grace. Originally from Texas, Christine and her family live in Charlottesville, Virginia, where they planted a church in 2008. Find her online home at www.christinehoover.net.

INTENTIONAL FAITH

Waiting in Trust by Jen Allee

ast summer my husband got a job and in twoand-a-half weeks we bought a new house, sold a house, enrolled our kids in school, and moved to a new city. Seriously.

I got whiplash on my way out of town because we left so quickly. When we finally took a breath and posted on social media we were leaving/had left, we got a lot of: “Wait, what? You moved?” Prior to this whirlwind though, my life had been seriously paused. My husband had been unemployed for nine months, forcing us to participate in the universally unpopular activity of waiting. Waiting is a lot of work. Though it may imply idleness and watching the clock, that clock-ticking often evokes fear and frustration. It is a relentless battle to keep those emotions at bay. Waiting is also the grueling task of not letting negativity predict your future. It’s looking at the face of uncertainty and assuring your heart that God is in it, you are not forgotten, and He has a way out. Though physically stuck in time, you are simultaneously running a mental marathon in order to not let your circumstances defeat you. Simply put, waiting is exhausting. If you find yourself in this place today, can I encourage you with one thought? As you wait, wait on Him. It’s a subtle, but important mental shift. Waiting naturally focuses our attention inwardly. When life lingers, the desired end goal is usually crystal clear. You know what you want, but you can’t guarantee it will happen.

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• That circumstance might not change. • That relationship might not turn around. • That healing might not occur.

Here is a lesson I learned the hard way: Disappointment is always on the table if you are waiting for anything less than God Himself. Why? Because unlike the uncertainty of your situation, the Lord can both make and fulfill His promises. When we wait on God,

Jen Allee

He will: renew your strength (Is. 40:31); make your paths straight (Prov. 3:5-6); help you (Ps. 28:7); shelter you (Ps. 90:1); surround you with His love (Ps. 32:10), and the list goes on… So, how do we practically wait on God? I believe it’s a daily list of declarations that we keep reciting until our hearts confidently embrace them. • You have not forgotten me. • You know my needs/desires. • I trust You and surrender my future to You. Each of these declarations inch us closer to God’s heart. Whether acknowledging His omniscience or surrendering our desires, we are taking steps toward Him. And as we draw near, we are more aware of His personal touch in our lives. We witness His peace, power, and faithfulness in tangible ways. At the start of our unemployment, if you had asked me what I was waiting for, I would have rattled off a very specific list (translation: demands) for God to fulfill. As I learned to wait on Him, though, the tight-fisted grip I had on my list began to loosen. And you know what? He didn’t disappoint, He renewed my strength, made my paths straight, helped me, sheltered me, and surrounded me with His love. There’s a difference between waiting on circumstances and waiting on Him. One involves uncertainty, anxiety, and the potential for disappointment. The other involves assurance, peace, and the guarantee of His presence. And experiencing more of Him is always worth the wait.

➜ Be Intentional Record the declarations stated above

somewhere handy. Recite them every time you begin focusing on your circumstances and watch to see what God will do!

is an author and a speaker who believes a strong faith is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

jenallee.com

for

Special Prayers & Reflections

Your Special Needs Family

Filled with humor and wisdom, this collection of 127 prayers touches on all aspects of family life with special needs. These prayers and reflections will help special needs families process their experiences together and offer them to God with hope and simple trust.

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Get your copy today at ivpress.com or wherever books are sold.

DISCOVERING THE WORD

Home is Where the Heart Is by Pam Farrel

n recent history, the “shelter at home” directive had us all spending a lot of time at home. But is home just a dwelling or something more?

My friend Nancie Carmichael, in The Unexpected Power of Home, shares, “I have seen that the whole concept of ‘home’ has a higher meaning…We have choices when it comes to making a home, and we can take the materials we have been given to make something beautiful and good.”

Home, once we connect with God, is where we discover who we are and why we are here.

Moses was born in captivity. Israel’s population of three million made Pharaoh nervous so he ordered the murder of all baby boys. It is into this inhumane state that Moses was born. Jewish midwives refused to obey the mandate. So where would Moses call “home”? Here is a snapshot of Moses’ story and one simple skill to discern the will of God:

Look for spiritual markers: Take a look back, so you can go forward. We are each uniquely created by God; therefore, we each have a purpose that God uses to accomplish His plans. As you look back on your life notice the spiritual markers that become road signs, pointing to your future. God spoke to Moses as an adult, through a burning bush. This interchange gives a window into why God selected Moses as the leader to free His people: God said, “…And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

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And God said, “I will be with you….” (Ex. 3:9-12).

Initially, Moses failed to see his spiritual markers pointing to his calling. I want to reach through the pages of Scripture and say, “Moses look back at your

Pam Farrel

life through God’s heavenly vantage point! Your wise mother placed you in a floating basket to save your life. When the basket landed at the feet of Pharaoh’s daughter, she took you into her royal palace. When she needed a wet-nurse, your sister brought in your own mother to ensure your safety, influence, and training. She helped you maintain your Jewish identity so when you were grown, you interceded to help a fellow Israeli and somehow escaped to safety, married a Jewish wife, and tended sheep for her father. One day, the Angel of the Lord appeared to you in a ‘burning bush’ calling you to go tell Pharaoh, ‘Let my people go!’” Moses was uniquely prepared to lead His people home to the Promised Land.

When you look back on your own life, you will find your home through: • Unique pain that God can turn into a platform for helping others. • Unique gifting, talents, and skills that God can use to further His mission. • Unique experiences God builds on to prepare you to walk through the open doors He creates. When I look at my calling as a public speaker, I note markers like: My mom’s best friend invited our family to church. Jesus began to prepare me to be comfortable in front of a crowd: a lead dancer, a winning speech, head cheerleader in college, and a friend inviting me to a meeting where I rededicated myself to Christ and gained a ministry mentor. I married my husband, Bill, and we began teaching together through Love-Wise ministry. What is home to you? Pray, then trace your life path, noting your past as a road sign to God’s path ahead —your “home.”

is an engaging and energetic leader who has impacted women's lives with her experience as an international speaker, director of women's ministry, radio co-host, newspaper columnist, pastor's wife, youth leader, and mentor. She is co-director of Love-Wise, and the author of over 52 books. When she's not traveling, she and Bill make their home on a boat in southern California.

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NEW 365-DAY DEVOTIONAL FROM MAX LUCADO Do you long for peace in your life? Do worries overwhelm your days? You Can Count on God invites you to set aside anxiety and fear and seek refuge in the God who is always by your side.

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LIVING WELL

You Can Manage Your Anxiety! by Gail Goolsby

have always been a worrier since I was little. The recent panic attacks and fear to leave the house started in the past few years, not all the time, but I get nervous about having another attack.” The 50-something client did not look up at me, clearly embarrassed at her confession, her need for help.

“I can hardly get to sleep or stay asleep, my mind keeps racing about the what ifs…what if my new doctor finds something else wrong with me, what if my insurance doesn’t cover my new medication, what if my car breaks down again and I can’t get it fixed this time?” Tears filled the tired eyes of my 70-year-old client. “I hate being so anxious all the time.” My daughter, a healthy, vibrant young mother with two children under two, confided in me, “I get overwhelmed and anxious that I don’t know how to meet the needs of my kids, or that the latest virus or another sickness will cause them harm. I trust in God, but bad things do happen, even to Christians.”

Different Kinds of Anxiety

There are many varieties of anxiety, some shortterm based on an upcoming stressful event, current financial crisis, or acute illness. There are longer lasting experiences with anxiety that can negatively impact health and life satisfaction in real ways. Here is the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) definition: “Anxiety is a biological reaction—the body’s way of telling us something is not right. But if anxiety becomes overwhelming and persistent, or if it interferes with regular daily activities, or even makes them impossible, it may be an anxiety disorder.”

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According to statistics on the ADAA website, anxiety is the most common mental health disorder in the U.S. and affects 1 in 13 people around the world, even children. It is also very treatable, even often curable with the help of medication and/or counseling and coaching.

Gail Goolsby,

Anxiety as a Close Companion

One helpful perspective on dealing with anxiety is to bring it close, learn about it, and recognize the ways it can be part of your life. Some people want to deny, avoid, or dismiss the reality of their anxious encounters which increases the level of intensity and decreases the ability to manage the feelings. This is where our truth and trust must be rooted. My favorite verses for anxiety sufferers are Philippians 4:8 and 2 Corinthians 10:5. These verses rightfully declare the importance of intentional thought control and focus. In addition to spiritual grounding, there are practical ways to manage anxiety. My work as a behavioral coach and counselor has helped me understand the value of breathing exercises, relaxation techniques, proper nutrition and hydration, adaptive thinking, adequate sleep, and healthy social participation for coping with anxiety (and many other mental and physical ailments). When we give the body what it really needs like water, oxygen, fuel, and rest, it can make incredible strides to resetting when anxiety tries to hijack our peace and well-being. We don’t always recognize how we ignore biological needs when stressed or confused. Sticking to medical or documented healthy behaviors is key, like sticking to right thinking from God’s Word. If you struggle with anxiety, often or sometimes, plan how to manage it. Remember past successful strategies. Care for your body with beneficial habits and your spirit with truth about God’s love, power, and promises. Access professional help if needed. You can learn to live well even with anxiety.

MA, MEd, ACC is an author, speaker, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her recent book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul (see ad on page 45). She is a mom, grandma, and lives in south central Kansas, with her husband.

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minutes in the

WORD

Be Strong and Courageous By Dorie Etrheim

awakened with a jolt at 2 a.m. I could feel my heart beating in my chest while anxious thoughts raced through my mind. My fears grew like giants as I tossed and turned until morning.

I wonder if Joshua had nights like this? After wandering 40 years in the desert as Moses’ aide, Joshua faced leading the Israelites across the flooding Jordan River into the Promised Land. There would be opposition ahead, battles to fight, and cities to conquer. Read Joshua 1:5-9. How does God encourage Joshua? What does God promise in verse 5?

Let’s review the relationship between Moses and God (Exodus 33:9-11). How did God speak to Moses? Where was Joshua? How would this impact Joshua’s faith?

What does God repeat in Joshua 1:6-9?

Courage implies a firmness of will and mind in the face of extreme difficulty. How could Joshua be courageous? By trusting the promise of God’s presence. We have this same promise in Jesus (John 14:15-17, 23). And, Jesus calls us His friend (John 15:15)! Read Joshua 2:9-11. Rahab barely knew God, yet she took a courageous step of faith, even risking her life. What did she know that gave her courage? What did she recognize about God?

Digging Deeper Have you ever thought about the power of the presence of God with you right now? Read Joshua 1:5, 9 again. The Hebrew word for leave/ fail is “raphah,” meaning, “I will never loosen my grip on you.” The Hebrew word for strong is “chazaq,” and means “to fasten upon, to strengthen.” Insert your name and read aloud the following paraphrase based on verses 5 and 9 as if the Lord were speaking to you. ___________ , I’ve got you. I promise I will never loosen my grip on you, nor leave you, never. Now I command you, because I am with you, to be strong and I will give you strength. Be courageous, have a steadfast mindset on Me, be determined to hold fast to Me no matter what your circumstances or pain. “Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for I, the LORD, Yahweh, (the all-knowing, ever-present, all-powerful One) your God, Elohim, (the Almighty Creator, self-existent and eternal God) will be with you wherever you go.” Jesus promises us, “I am with you always” (Matt. 28:20b). When fears and anxious thoughts fill your mind, recall His names. Trust His promises and trust His presence with you.

For Your Journal In what areas do you need more courage? Remember, the more you know God and meditate on His Word, the more you will trust Him (Joshua 1:8). How can God’s Words to Joshua encourage you today? Journal your thoughts.

Rahab heard about the real and personal God whose presence was with Israel and she trusted Him. Who will hear your testimony of His presence in your life?

spring 2022

Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

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Courageous “Be strong and

—Joshua 1:9 43

STRENGTHENING YOUR SOUL

Rise and Be Healed by Melva L. Henderson

ecently a song rang in my heart. “Rise and be healed in the name of Jesus; let your faith arise in your soul…He will cleanse you and make you whole.” As I pondered these words, I realized that I was the one being commanded by the Holy Spirit to “rise and be healed in the name of Jesus.” Every time I thought about it, it touched my heart and gave me the strength I needed for the day. Healing isn’t just for the aches, pains, and diseases we experience in the physical body. Healing is also for the aches, pains, and diseases we experience in our hearts.

Jesus Experienced Hurt

Our Lord Jesus experienced hurtful, heart-wrenching things by the hands and words of men. These things could have cut Him to the core. He was disrespected, mistreated, lied about, and abandoned. Even worse is that He was misunderstood and denied by those closest to Him, those He helped the most. If men disappointed Him, don’t be surprised if they disappoint you.

Trust Him Alone

There is a very interesting statement in John 2:24, “But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people.” The Message says it like this, “But Jesus didn’t entrust his life to them. He knew them inside and out, knew how untrustworthy they were.” If we could learn this truth, we would avoid a great deal of heartache. God wants us to entrust our lives to Him and Him alone. The carnal nature of man cannot be trusted because it loves you today and will hate you tomorrow if it doesn’t get its way.

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Love Your Enemies

While Jesus was hanging on the cross, He looked down at His persecutors and prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). I find that most individuals don’t realize what they are doing. Even though their hearts may be wrong, in some cases, they really can’t see how damaging their words or actions are toward another brother or sister. So we have to be like Jesus and pray for them. Matthew 5:44 says this, “I’m telling you to

Melva L. Henderson

love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer” (MSG).

Backdrop for Blessing

It’s interesting to note that just as they couldn’t see the negative impact of their actions, they also couldn’t see the positive impact. When Jesus was being crucified, it was the most horrific experience that anyone had ever or will ever go through. Satan clearly thought he had unleashed his best. But when it was over, Jesus was the glorified and reigning Lord of all. The worst curse actually gave way to the greatest blessing! That makes me want to laugh! Satan couldn’t see how his attack was going to bless the whole world, and he can’t see how using other people to come against you will bless your world. But it will. To use modern vernacular, all your “haters” are positioning you for a manifestation of the glory of God!

“God wants us to entrust our lives to Him and Him alone.”

Let their attack bring out the best in you. Keep your heart right. Let the love of God step forward. Stand firm knowing you are more than a conqueror and no weapon formed against you will ever prosper, even if they think it will. God’s got you, and when all is said and done, you will be the one standing with the glory of God all around you. Rise and be healed in the name of Jesus!

is an author, speaker, and regular columnist for Just Between Us. She is also the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach, and co-founder and president of World Bible Training Institute, an accredited Bible college. She is wife to pastor Ervin, mother of five, and a grandmother.

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What Woman Would Willingly Move to Afghanistan? GREAT PERSONAL OR

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Educational Leadership. She has over 25 years educational experience as teacher, school counselor, and principal, working both in the United States of America and the International School of Kabul in Afghanistan. As a counselor and ICF certified life coach, Gail writes, speaks, and helps others Learn to Live Well. Visit her site at

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spring 2022

Gail Goolsby holds master’s degrees in Professional Counseling and

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In 2005, following the tragedy of September 11, 2001, Gail Goolsby reluctantly found herself the founding principal of the International School of Kabul in Afghanistan. The how, when, and why make for a captivating and insightful story.

Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation (Required by 39 U.S.C. 3685) Publication Title: Just Between Us. Publication No: 1069-3459 Filing Date: September 24, 2020. Issue Frequency: Quarterly No. of issues Published Annually: 4. Annual Subscription Price: $19.95. Complete Mailing Address of Known Office of Publication (Street, City, County, State, and ZIP+4)(Not Printer): 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Complete Mailing Address of Headquarters or General Business Office of Publisher (Not Printer): 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Full Names and Complete Mailing Addresses of Publisher, Editor, and Managing Editor (Do Not Leave Blank): Publisher (Name and Complete Mailing Address): Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Editor (Name and Complete Mailing Address): Shelly Esser, Editor, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Owner (If owned by a corporation, its name and address must be stated and also immediately thereafter the name and addresses of stockholders owning or holding 1 percent or more of the total amount of stock. If not owned by a corporation, the names and addresses of the individual owners must be given. If owned by a partnership or other unincorporated firm, its name and address as well as that of each individual must be given. If the publication is published by a nonprofit organization, its name and address must be stated.) (Do Not Leave Blank.) Owner: Elmbrook Church, Inc., 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Known Bondholders, Mortgagees, and Other Security Holders Owning or Holding 1 Percent or More of Total Amount of Bonds, Mortgages, or Other Securities, If none, so state: None 12. Tax Status (For completion by nonprofit organizations authorized to mail at nonprofit rates) (Check one) Has not changed in the preceding twelve months. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Winter 2019-Fall 2020. Extent and Nature of Circulation - Average No. Copies Each Issue During Preceding 12 months: A. Total No. Copies (Net Press Run): 10,250. B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Paid or Requested Outside-Country Mail Subscriptions stated on form 3541. (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 9,467. (2) Paid In-Country Subscriptions (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 0. (3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, and Counter Sales and other Non-USPS: Paid Distribution: 35. (4) Other classes mailed through USPS: 12. C. Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation (Sum of l5b (1,2,3,4): 9,514. D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary, and Other Free) (1) Outside-Country as Stated on Form 3541: 108. (2) In-Country as Stated on Form 3541: 0. (3) Other Classes Mailed Through USPS: 190. (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail (Carriers or other means): 69. E. Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution (Sum of 15d (1), (2), (3) and (4): 367. F. Total Distribution (Sum of 15c and 15e): 9,881. G. Copies Not Distributed: 369. H. Total (Sum of 15f and 15g): 10,250. I. Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation (15c/l5f x 100): 96.29%. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Fall 2020. Extent and Nature of Circulation- No. Copies of Single Issue Published No.Copies Single Issue Published Nearest to Filling Date: A.Total No.Copies (Net Press Run): 10,500. B. Paid and/or Requested Circulation: (1) Paid or Requested Outside-County Mail Subscriptions stated on form 3541 (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 9,428. (2) Paid In-County Subscriptions (Include Advertiser’s Proof Copies/Exchange Copies): 0 (3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers, Street Vendors, and Counter Sales and other Non-USPS Paid Distribution: 35. (4) Other classes mailed through USPS: 7. C. Total Paid and/or Requested Circulation (Sum of l5b(1,2,3,4): 9,470. D. Free Distribution by Mail (Samples, Complimentary, and Other Free) (1) Outside-County as Stated on Form 3541: 108. (2) In-County as Stated on Form 3541: 0. (3) Other Classes Mailed Through USPS: 165. (4) Free or Nominal Rate Distribution Outside the Mail (carriers or other means): 122. E. Total Free or Nominal Rate Distribution (Sum of 15d 1,2,3,4): 395. F. Total Distribution (Sum of 15c and 15e): 9,865 G. Copies Not Distributed: 635. H. Total (Sum of 15f and 15g): 10,500. I. Percent Paid and/or Requested Circulation (15c/15f x 100): 96.00%. This Statement of Ownership will be printed in the Spring 2021 issue of this publication. I certify that all information furnished on this form is true and complete. I understand that anyone who furnishes false or misleading information on this form or who omits material or information requested on the form may be subject to criminal sanctions (including fines and imprisonment) and/or civil sanctions (including multiple damages and civil penalties). Mary T. Perso, General Manager Date: 9/24/2020.

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

Are You Stuck on a Side? by Ashley N. Thomas

ou’re familiar with the command to the ancients, ‘Do not murder.’ I’m telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother ‘idiot!’ and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill. This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God” (Matt. 5:21-24, MSG). If we are being honest, it has been another difficult year to intentionally be a “good neighbor.” Many of us have found ourselves stuck on a side, or stuck somewhere in the middle hopeful of not saying the wrong thing. Stepping outside of our front door has been a pretty vulnerable thing because we are unsure of who or what we are going to be met with. We want to be heard, we want to be right, and (really) we want others to be like us—but it has come at a pretty high price.

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Recently, I sat across from a close friend and had the conversation—you know the one that touches on every hot button topic of the present. Both of us knew going in the angle the other would take—and we were prepared with passionate opposition to each point made. The conversation got intense, voices raised, and when I was on the brink of shutting down out of frustration—this question was posed: What kingdom are you a part of?

While that was an easy question to answer—the follow-up caused me to pause: What is the evidence of that? My response to the first question was emphatically “The kingdom.” However, when I thought of the core beliefs that reside there—I haven’t been faithfully living inside of them. The telltale sign that was not the case? The kingdom of the heavens is not divisive.

In this last season, I’m afraid that we have focused so hard on trying to get people on the “right” side, that we have left our communities separated, isolated, and broken. We serve a Father who aims to reconcile, redeem, and draw in—in other words—unify. While He gave us passions, morals, and values to stand upon and fight for—I don’t think He wants them to come at the cost of alienating anyone. I am not here to reprimand. I shared the story here, to say, I get it. I find myself there more often than I would care to admit, but it is vital that we as the church figure out a way to have these conversations and still remain a united front. Why? Because at the end of the day, this place is not our home, and our King has an entirely different view on the things that really matter. I want to intentionally focus on those things, so that His people don’t get lost in the noise. We get to be a good neighbor. Even and especially with those people we adamantly disagree with. A good neighbor loves beyond reason—His reasons. A good neighbor cares less about being right, and more about making sure people feel seen and heard. A good neighbor also seeks to unite even, and especially, when it’s inconvenient or difficult. When you find yourself struggling, wondering when to enter or exit the conversation—consider asking yourself the following two questions: • What does love require of you? • How is Jesus ushering others into the kingdom through you? Take a deep breath, and allow Him to lead.

Ashley N. Thomas is the Executive Director of Hope Street ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys speaking, writing, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still.

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Sharon Garlough Brown

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“If you still struggle with a sense of identity and purpose, settle in and take your time working through these pages. I believe you’ll encounter God, you’ll hear his voice, and you’ll learn afresh how much he loves you. Even today I pray that you hear the love song he sings over you, for it is life-giving and beautiful, just as Christ is in you.”

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author of Prevail and host of Susie Larson Live