Just Between Us | Winter 2024 by Just Between Us

An Untraditional Holiday by Lori Ann Wood

Find

Peace

in Breath Prayer by Jennifer Tucker

THE POWER OF GRATITUDE

HOW TO THRIVE IN TRANSITIONS

EMBRACING THE LIFE YOU HAVE

IMPACTING YOUR GRANDCHILDREN

winter 2024 | F I N D M O R E A T J U S T B E T W E E N U S . O R G

ȷustbetweenus ENCOURAGING & EQUIPPING WOMEN FOR A LIFE OF FAITH

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welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

Hi Friends! As we gather in the warmth of this season, with Thanksgiving and Christmas drawing near, we are reminded of the abundant blessings we’ve received throughout the year—especially the gift of sisterhood in this faith-filled community. It is such a joy and privilege to welcome you to the latest edition of our magazine, a space where we can journey together in faith, growing and uplifting one another in the love of Christ. This year, our theme has been intentional, a word that has been woven into every issue. To live intentionally is to live life with purpose. It’s our prayer that this theme has inspired you to do that in all areas of your life—whether it’s in your time with God, in serving others, or in taking care of your own heart and soul. Living intentionally has called us to a deeper faith and greater trust, and we celebrate how God has moved through this community, growing us individually and collectively.

What better way to prepare your heart for the upcoming holidays than digging into several of our Christmas features: “An Untraditional Holiday” by Lori Ann Wood on page 14 will help you take the pressure off of the perfect Christmas by letting go of things that don’t have

You also don’t want to miss Jennifer Tucker’s article, “Find Peace Amid Your Anxiety” on page 16 to help you breathe easier through this chaotic time we’re living in. You will discover how breath prayers can help keep you calm and focused on Jesus no matter what’s going on in your life and world. As we near the close of another year, it’s a perfect time to pause and reflect on God’s unwavering faithfulness. Together, we’ve faced challenges and celebrated victories, all while keeping our focus on Jesus. Throughout every season, the inspiration and biblical encouragement within these pages have served as a continual reminder of God’s presence—something truly worth being thankful for. As we enter this sacred time—a season of reflection, gratitude, and the joyous celebration of our Savior’s birth—let’s continue to support one another. And may reading through this issue be a constant reminder to you of God’s unending love and His constant invitation to draw closer to Him—the Savior of the world! Have a Blessed Season!

P.S. We have a wonderful Christmas gift offer for you to reach the younger women in your lives. We hope you will take advantage of it.

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We are so grateful that you are part of the JBU family. It’s our desire that when you come to the pages of this magazine, you’ll find a place of peace, encouragement, and inspiration as you seek to deepen your relationship with Christ. Whether you’ve found comfort in an article during a difficult time, felt encouraged by the Bible devotional, or connected with another sister’s story, we hope you’ve sensed the love and support that surround you in this community. And we pray that the magazine has been more than just reading material— that it’s felt like a trusted friend.

to be done. Additionally, you will be inspired by taking a fresh look at Mary through the eyes of Melissa Jongetjes’s article, “Expectantly Waiting” on page 28.

Contents

V O L U M E

3 5

N O.

W I N T E R

2 0 2 4

on the cover

An Untraditional Holiday

Take the pressure off and give yourself the grace to make new memories. by Lori Ann Wood

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Find Peace Amid Your Anxiety

Discover how breath prayers can help calm you and recenter your focus on Christ. by Jennifer Tucker

Embracing the Life You Have Loving the life you have instead of the life you wish you had. by Aimee Claire Cooks

Fighting the lies in your life by demanding truth through thankfulness. by Jenni LaBrie

Practical tips for making an impact on your grandchildren. by Ann M. Cook

How Joshua’s example can guide us through the tough transitions of life. by Sylvia Schroeder

Gritty Gratitude

Intentional Time with the Grands

Life on the Bridge

About Our Ministry: Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-for-profit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heart-focused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini-magazine, on social media, and other products—all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Find Us in All Kinds of Ways:

T F I justbetweenus.org

features

columns

row Your 38 GDiscipleship

Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Looking to Mary, the mother of Jesus, for Advent hope. by Melissa Jongetjes

Minutes 39 1in5 the Word 40 Intentional Faith 42 Faith at Work

Editor Shelly Esser General Manager Mary Perso

Advertising & Accounts Manager Sharon Vaught

Everyday Transformation

6 Encouragement Calendar 7 Table Talk with Abby 8 Between Us 10 Happy Home Transparent Moments

12 24 Prayer Prompts 31 Living Your Faith

Prayer Sharon Stonecipher Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

If the post office informs us that your print magazine is undeliverable, JBU has no further obligation unless we receive a corrected address.

ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com. The ads in this publication do not imply endorsement. Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us.

for subscriptions Visit our website at justbetweenus.org

Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders, 777 S. Barker Rd., Brookfield, WI 53045. To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Rd., Brookfield, WI 53045. ust Between Us is a member publication J of the Evangelical Press Association. Copyright ©2024 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA. We occasionally share subscriber mailing addresses with select organizations. If you would like your name removed from direct mail promotional lists, please call 800-260-3342 or email jbu@justbetweenus.org.

PRESS A S

award-winning • E VA

magazine

PRESS AS

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•

11 Encouraging WORDS

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

Welcome from the Editor

Subscriptions Mary Richards Jan Schuldt Lin Sebena

Creative Director Julie Krinke

in every issue

Your 44 Outside Front Door 45 Living Well

Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt

Giving gifts that aren’t limited by the boundaries of our lifetime. by Shelly Esser

Marketing Julie Santiago

Copy Editors Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Cherry Hoffner Rachel Engler Danae Templeton

A Mountain Surprise

Renewal Assistants Wayne + Sally Schlittenhart

Director Digital Media Mary Ann Prasser

Renewals Manager & Software Support Rebecca Loesche

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun

EVA

Expectantly Waiting

CREDITS

CALENDAR

encouragement PROMPTS

... for using the missuagesa.zine in between

Every issue of Just Between Us is packed full of inspiration, encouragement, and Scripture, so we want to help you keep it going long after you’ve read the last article. Use this calendar over the next two months, filled with application prompts pulled from the current issue, to keep your soul filled up and to deepen your experience until your spring issue arrives!

december

Reflect on the question at the end of the article on page 29 as you enter this Advent season.

year ahead (pg. 39).

Reflect on how God has a greater plan for your failures in the article, “Finer Points of Failure” on page 45.

Determine to keep going in the place God has called you despite the loss of an encourager in your life (pg. 12).

Pray through the morning prayer on page 24 to get your day off to a great start.

Practice the breath prayer: The Lord is my Shepherd (inhale), I Have Everything I Need (exhale) to let go of your anxiety today (pg. 18).

Plan special times to nurture your relationship with your grandkids. Use some of the authors’ ideas on pages 26-27.

Call on the Name of Jesus in an area of your life where you are struggling (pg. 8).

Prepare your heart for the hard part of the holidays by meditating on Philippians 4 (pg. 46).

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off the new year by spending 15 Minutes in 2 KtheickWord refocusing on Jesus as you start the

Think about what traditions need to be let go of or look differently so you can embrace new memories this year on page 14.

january

Read the article on page 7 to see how you can create a home and table this season that will be a refuge for others: a place where they can feel loved, accepted, and valued with the love of Jesus.

Pick one of your favorite encouragingWORDS’ quotes or verses on page 11 and put it on a Postit on your phone to encourage you or a friend throughout the day.

Think about the way you want to live your life and the people you want to impact. Pray about it (pg. 34).

Think about the messy middle in your life. Where do you need to ask God to replace your fears with trust (pg. 40)?

ractice regular gratitude to pull you out of the P deep place of difficulties in your life (pg. 22).

rust God with a big transition in your life knowing T He has it all under control (pg. 32).

Read Jill Briscoe’s poem on the cover wrap and reflect on the Shepherd’s great love for you.

lan for a time of regular rest and let God restore P your soul on page 42.

hink about the quote by John Piper on page 38: T “Ultimately, we fast simply because we want God more than we want anything the world has to offer us. We fast because we’re hungry for God’s Word and Spirit in our lives.” Is God asking you to fast this year? Make a plan.

sk God to work on your attitude and find A something you can be grateful for next time you don’t “like your husband” (pg. 10).

TABLE TALK WITH ABBY

Joy Beyond Measure

’m navigating an incredible shift in my identity: my whole world has expanded. For the last decade, I’ve been intentional in cultivating a heart for hospitality and opening my home whenever the Spirit led me. Now, I’m thrust into a fast-paced life with a new husband and baby. No longer am I making decisions when it’s convenient for me or only taking my schedule and space into consideration; I have someone else’s needs in mind. It’s been a challenging transition, but the joy and fulfillment it brings are beyond words. This journey into motherhood has shown me that putting aside my own needs is a beautiful path to discovering genuine happiness and purpose. ‘Tis the Season This season is all about the remembrance and preparation for the gift of Jesus. What a perfect time to identify the parts of our life that we need to let go of so that we can experience the great joy found in Christ. It’s not just any joy—it’s a profound and enduring joy that comes from embracing a greater purpose. We are called to selflessly devote ourselves to others. By doing so, we are also uncovering a new and more authentic identity. Every time we invite someone into our home to sit around our table and experience Jesus, we are dying to ourselves. We are letting go of the chaos that might surround our lives, our insecurities around the tidiness of our homes, or that feeling of inadequacy as we scroll through social media and see a perfectly curated feed of decorated homes. We are allowing God to use us, as broken and insecure as we might be, as the conduit to bring people around our table to experience Him.

others,” Paul tells us (1 Cor. 10:24). Jesus Himself tells us that when we do good “without expecting to get anything back,” our “reward will be great” because we are emulating God (Luke 6:35). Being kind and caring to others is the source of true joy. Life can be tough, feeling like a never-ending struggle against tiredness, frustration, and uncertainty. But when we approach it with a spirit of selfless love, we will find a deep and lasting joy. It’s the joy of knowing we’re making a difference in the world and shaping other peoples’ lives with our love and care. Just like Jesus showed selflessness by sacrificing for others, we’re called to welcome those in need, listen to those who are hurting, and support those who are struggling. The road to joy might be full of challenges and hardships, but if we stay strong in our commitment to loving others and cultivating a habit of hospitality in our lives, we’ll eventually be rewarded with a joy greater than anything we can imagine—a joy that fills our hearts even in the hardest of times. Intentional Hospitality As we move into a new year, I am focused more than ever on intentionally cultivating a spirit of hospitality in this new season of my life. I want to be generous, compassionate, and welcoming. I want to create a home that is a refuge for others, a place where they can feel loved, accepted, and valued. As we continue to grow and evolve in whatever season of life we find ourselves in, let’s remember, “For whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt. 10:39). By losing ourselves in the service of others, we will find a joy that is beyond measure.

Abby Turner Kuykendall is the author of The Living Table, a newlywed, a new mom, and works full-time as a food blogger, speaker, and writer. Abby’s passion is to encourage women to stop wasting time waiting for the perfect family, house, or table and to start opening their homes and building community. Learn more about Abby and enjoy her recipes at atabletopaffair.com. G facebook.com/atabletopaffair w pinterest.com/atabletopaffair e instagram.com/atabletopaffair

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Selfless Love Brings Lasting Joy Jesus teaches us that real happiness comes from giving to others, not just thinking about ourselves. “No one should seek their own good, but the good of

Abby Turner Kuykendall

BETWEEN US

The Most Powerful Name

oesn’t it feel like sometimes you can’t think straight when you’re afraid? Imagine being Joseph when he found out Mary was pregnant. He knew the child wasn’t his. His mind must have fired off all kinds of dreadful scenarios that could have caused this situation. His response? He made plans to divorce Mary in secret (Matt. 1:19). That night, an angel visited him in a dream: “But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit’” (Matt. 1:20). Joseph fell asleep with the weight of his decision heavy on him, and God sent an angel to intervene. God had an assignment for Joseph: to bring forth the child and name Him Jesus (Matt. 1:21). And the enemy’s tactic to mess up that plan included: Shame. Anger. Division. Confusion. But the angel of the Lord saw what was really keeping Joseph from God’s plan: Fear. Make no mistake—the enemy wanted Joseph to be afraid.

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The enemy wants you to be afraid, too. Not the healthy kind of fear that keeps us safe and alert. No, the horrible kind of fear that whispers worst-case scenarios, absent of hope, and full of defeat. The kind of fear that keeps us tossing and turning all night about situations we can’t control, people we can’t change, and outcomes that feel uncertain.

Fear says, “Entertain my entanglements. Linger in my lies. Drink deeply from my darkness.” While we’re distracted with fear, the enemy steals our purpose, cripples our courage, dismantles our dreams, and blinds us to the beauty of the Lord’s great plans. On the surface it may not seem like your assignments are like Joseph’s at all. But they’re incredibly similar. As a child of God, you, like Mary and Joseph,

Lysa TerKeurst are to bring forth Jesus. Not in a physical sense, but you are to bring forth and proclaim the name of Jesus in everything you say and everything you do… even when you’re afraid. Proclaiming the name of Jesus brings power, protection, and a perspective that crushes fear. His is the name above every other name (Phil. 2:9). Joseph might have gone to bed afraid, but in his dream, he heard the name Jesus for the first time, and he woke up empowered to be obedient to God’s plan. The name of Jesus caused the chains of fear to be released from Joseph. I believe God wants us to experience the same right now. • The relationship with unresolved conflict troubling you? Call on the name of Jesus. • The financial situation paralyzing you with anxiety? Call on the name of Jesus. • The parenting conversation you’re dreading? Call on the name of Jesus. • The medical diagnosis you didn’t see coming? Call on the name of Jesus. • The friend who asked you to pray for them, but you have no idea how to pray? Call on the name of Jesus. Calling on the name of Jesus can be our first response instead of what we do when nothing else seems to be working. He is Immanuel, God with us. Before you go to sleep tonight, call upon His perfect name. You can know with confidence that “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Ps. 46:1). Excerpted from Clear Mind, Peaceful Heart: 50 Devotions for Sleeping Well in a World Full of Worry by Lysa TerKeurst and Proverbs 31, Copyright © March 2024. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. LysaTerKeurst.com.

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the #1 New York Times’ bestselling author of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, and Uninvited. She writes from her gray farm table and lives with her family in North Carolina. LysaTerKeurst.com Ö LysaTerKeurst G Lysa TerKeurst

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HAPPY HOME

When I Don’t Like My Husband

ust a few days before my birthday, James, my husband, started making little comments that were getting under my skin. They weren’t even about getting older. We were both feeling under the weather, and he would say things like, “You’re not as sick as I am,” and “You should go to the gym.” He would criticize my driving saying, “Why are you racing to the red light? You need to anticipate the light turning and respond earlier.” I’m thinking, “Thanks. I’ve been driving for 35-plus years and that piece of information is so helpful.” Mounting Tensions Can you feel the tension mounting? Even though many of his comments were made lightly, they were pushing all my buttons. When I was alone, I realized that while my husband’s words were not exactly nice, he was saying them in that teasing kind of way. My reaction was making things worse than they needed to be. I prayed, God, change me. Help me to like my husband right now. Help me to communicate the things that bother me and then help me forget about it.

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Softening Your Heart God answered my prayer that day, giving me a softer heart toward him and more playfulness and patience towards him. I realized that when I have a soft heart toward God, it results in me having a soft heart towards people, especially my husband. It also works in reverse; when I harden my heart against my husband, it also hardens my heart toward God.

Our hearts and words are connected. As it says in Psalm 19:14 (NLT), “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” It sounds like God is interested in what we say and what we think about.

Arlene Pellicane Being Grateful When you don’t like your husband very much, go back to Psalm 19:14. Ask the Lord to make your thoughts and words toward your man pleasing in God’s sight. Suddenly, you have invited the God of the universe, the Maker of marriage, for assistance. The Holy Spirit can help you recall the vow you made on your wedding day, the joy of being married, and the blessings that have come into your life directly through your husband. When you think with gratitude, it changes your attitude. Instead of complaining, we can think of the positive things we like about our spouse. We can choose to speak constructive words to build up our marriage, not destructive words that cut down our partner. It’s a Two-Way Street When you spend a lot of time with any person, you are bound to get on each other’s nerves at some point. In those moments when I don’t like James very much, I tell myself, “He probably doesn’t like me much either right now.” It’s a two-way street. It’s hard to believe, but we are also irritating to our husbands. I memorized these verses decades ago, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace” (Eph. 4:2-3, NLT). When we follow these instructions and behave with more love, humility, and patience, we will find ourselves loving and liking our spouses more easily. This holiday season (as in every other season), Jesus is with us to help us in our marriages.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband, James, and their three children. arlenepellicane.com G facebook.com/ArlenePellicaneAuthor Ö twitter.com/ArlenePellicane e ArlenePellicane

encouraging WORDS

“Don’t just drift through life, live intentionally and on purpose.” JOSHUA BECKER

“The secret to life is not having it all, but about intentionally living a life that counts.” CRAIG GROESCHEL

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” MATTHEW 6:33

“Today, let’s be determined to see blessings in the midst of things that seem like burdens.”

e f i l al n io an intent LYSA TERKEURST

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” PHILIPPIANS 3:13-14

“You must be intentional about your life and faith. You can’t just sit back and expect things to happen; you have to make them happen.” JOHN C. MAXWELL

“THE WAY YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE SHOULD REFLECT THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU LIFE. BE INTENTIONAL IN EVERYTHING YOU DO.” CHRISTINE CAINE

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TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

The Power to Keep Going

f you’ve ever said goodbye to an encourager, you know that feeling of emotional lostness. After the apostles Barnabas and Paul had a disagreement, Paul ended up losing a friend who was part of his early missionary years. Yet, in the midst of a personal loss, Paul’s momentum did not change. How was that possible? I felt guilt when I had trouble bouncing back after a personal loss. It baffled me how Paul didn’t skip a beat. Did he deny his emotional pain, or did he simply not feel the loss? Was he more of a thinker than a feeler? Paul did not allow temporary concerns to derail him from an eternal agenda and consequences. As God develops us into leaders He can trust, we can look to those who have gone before us and finished well. At the end of his earthly life, Paul stated that he had fought the fight and that he did not hesitate to fulfill the full will of God (2 Tim. 4:7). Do you long to do the same?

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Paul’s life gives us the following insights for finishing well:

Paul saw his mission as bigger than what he was feeling. What was at stake was more than Paul’s wounded heart or personal loss. When we focus on God’s mission, we are making a choice to cling to our relationship with Jesus and allow Him to fill the gaps in our heart. Oftentimes, we begin to see how choosing to stay the course can offer stability at a time when life is in flux. No longer swayed by the actions of others, God becomes our reliable relationship and His love for us keeps us grounded. Instead of allowing life to knock the air out of us, we rise strong from the certainty of the God who did not spare His one and only Son for us. We also know the Holy Spirit remains in us forever.

Anita Carman Paul recalibrated by continuing what he already had planned. Through Paul, God reminds me to keep going and to never make a permanent decision to quit in response to a temporary problem. When we act out of our emotions, we often regret words we spurted out too quickly, or actions we can no longer reverse. We try to justify our rash behavior and convince ourselves and others that we made the right decision. Instead of repenting or having the humility to admit we acted impulsively, we allow our pride to take us into years of wilderness wandering. Paul did not act abruptly and adjusted to the choice Barnabas made that collided into his life and took steps to fill the role Barnabas played in his life by appointing Silas. What he could not replace was the emotional role Barnabas occupied in his life as his encourager and the one who had opened doors for him to reach the disciples. Only God can heal the loss our heart feels, while our feet continue to walk in the direction of what God called us to do. Paul realized at the end of his life that he had not hesitated to fulfill the will of God. The only way we can live a life without hesitation is when we are sure of our calling and sure of the One who has called us. I am grateful for the apostle Paul who ran his race and finished well. Losing Barnabas did not stop his momentum. Paul stepped into God’s call in his life to focus on a message with eternal consequences. In doing so, he ended up being the encourager of all future champions for the kingdom!

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a nonprofit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at inspirewomen.org. (Anita Carman’s signature curriculum, being taught through Inspire Women’s Leadership Academy, offers an online option to teach women how to make decisions fitting for one who is the King’s daughter. To enroll, please email info@inspirewomen.org.)

Inspirational Giﬅs

Bible Studies and Devooonals by Tracy Hill for you and all the women on your list

A Daughter of the King

Colossians

Come to the Father

Conﬁdence and Crowns

Available on beblessedandinspired.com and Amazon

APPRECIATI N G AN

Untraditional HOLIDAY Our changing traditions bring new memories. by Lori Ann Wood

Gingerbread houses, special sugar cookies, multiple Christmas trees…

adult years when we always inconveniently gathered at Mom and Dad’s house for a few precious days in December.

Though I first became a mom pre-Instagram and pre-Pinterest, I still put plenty of pressure on myself to keep up holiday traditions. And throughout my parenting years, I’ve depended on those traditions.

Traditions Are Important

At our house each Advent season, It’s a Wonderful Life was mandatory viewing accompanied with stove-popped popcorn and homemade lasagna.

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Every December 1st, I assembled the nativity set (a wedding gift from my mother), and the ceramic tree Grandma Mary painted in the 1970s.

For decades, during the week of Thanksgiving, I hung every ornament I had ever collected, ones my preschoolers had carefully constructed so long ago, and all the “Baby’s First Christmas” ones. Even when my kids became teenagers, I filled the Christmas Box Advent Calendar my mother and I had made for them to replicate the one my siblings and I grew up with—my favorite tradition. I recalled the

I love a good tradition, especially for the holidays. Traditions take us back to our past and reconnect us with those we’ve lost. They set a pattern for our future and help mold our legacy. For many of us, traditions evoke happy feelings, even in the most fragile families. Studies have confirmed their significance: Traditions give security. In a changing world, we all need a constant. This is vital during illness, grief, and other difficult times. We need a level place to heal and process—a stronghold in the storms of life. Traditions bind people together. By sharing a common identity, we feel value in belonging to something bigger than ourselves. Traditions do this by providing an avenue to celebrate our common roots, compare our similar situations, reinforce values, and recognize contributions. Traditions create happy memories. By putting bookmarks in our calendars and in our lives, traditions give

us a frame of reference for remembering special events and milestones. God’s Word is full of worthwhile traditions and pleas to maintain them (2 Thess. 2:15; 1 Cor. 11:1-2.) Like Father God, as human parents, we want our children to stay connected to home in healthy ways. We rely on traditions because we want home to mean something significant.

Traditions Must Be Flexible

Nine years ago, my precious holiday traditions were swept aside as I spent Thanksgiving week in cardiac intensive care and on an emergency flight to Cleveland Clinic. With my last child still in the nest, my mama heart ached at the opportunities I was missing, and at the traditions that were being lost. Deep into December, with no Christmas tree, and sagging pumpkins still on the mantle and at the front door, I felt cheated that my last holiday season with children in the home was ripped away from me without warning. With a sudden severe heart failure diagnosis, I had no hope of making cookies, decorating the house, or even shopping for gifts. Everything seemed wrong about the holidays stretching out in front of me. My disappointment threatened to ruin the season for everyone.

I’m re-learning that as life continues its twists and turns, traditions are still being tweaked to stay relevant. And I’m still learning to give myself grace to live the holiday season that is placed in my hands right now. To let go of the should-be’s and the ideals. To grasp the unique joy that only this season of life can offer, in the one-of-a-kind way it’s offered.

Traditions Are Memory Tools

When all the tinsel and buttercream frosting are scraped away, traditions are simply a tool to help us remember the most important parts of who we are: • How loved we are, • How similar we are, and • How constant it all is. As meaningful as they can be, traditions in and of themselves are only instruments. Traditions were always only meant to point us back to the source of the memory. Memories to form a sturdy connection to our family and to our God. Sometimes we must go so far as to lay aside our traditions and grasp memories instead. These last years have taught me that memories can surpass traditions. Traditions are safe, but restrictive. Memory moments are risky, but freeing.

In our well-intentioned exuberance, we can sometimes take traditions too far. Our most important task is to love Christ and one another, so when our traditions become hurtful, they have lost their purpose. Jesus’s words in Mark convey that traditions should never supersede God’s commandments to love: “You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions” (Mark 7:8).

If, like me, you’re having an untraditional Christmas this year, it may be the perfect time to start making some new memories. Whether you’re missing someone or somewhere or something that used to form traditions, your unusual holiday can be fertile ground for planting some brand-new memories. And maybe by letting go of some traditions, we are leaving more space for what’s coming—the Ultimate Gift.

So, while traditions are vital, their very nature requires that sometimes they need to change to show love. I felt like I was failing as a mother when I couldn’t keep the holiday traditions going post-diagnosis. But the reality is, we fall short of God’s best for His family when we fail to adapt traditions for the sake of our loved ones.

An amazing thing has happened in my post-diagnosis struggle of letting go—my most precious traditions held on, and they’ve become even more treasured with new memories attached. Last year, we gathered miniature boxes and trim, and glued together a new Christmas Box Advent Calendar for my infant granddaughter during our untraditional Thanksgiving at an Airbnb 700 miles from home.

As it turns out, traditions are at their best when they are flexible. As James F. Kennan says, “In its richer meaning…tradition is always progressive, developing, and constantly calling us to receive it, enrich it, and humanize it.”

Now, with my children and siblings all in different states, and without my parents this side of eternity,

From where I sit, waiting for Hope Himself to come again and put all this right, it seems like a pretty good combination.

Lori Ann Wood is an award-winning freelance author. Her work has been published in several anthologies and numerous print and online venues, and her first book, Divine Detour: The Path You’d Never Choose Can Lead to the Faith You’ve Always Wanted, is available online at Amazon andloriannwood.com/books. Connect with her on Instagram, or on Facebook

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The year of my Thanksgiving diagnosis drew a hard line in our family story. That year, traditions began to be redesigned. Christmas changed forever at my house.

I feel the winds of change and the comfort of the familiar.

Find

Peace The practice of breath prayer. by Jennifer Tucker

n the beginning, life began with a breath: the breath of God Himself.

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Genesis 2:7 says, “Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”

Even now, it’s His breath that moves in and out of our lungs, flows through every vessel and vein in our bodies, and gives life to every one of our organs and cells. Acts 17:25 says, “…he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.” Every breath we take is a profound gift, but breathing isn’t something we actively think about. Our bodies breathe automatically, all the time, and we don’t usually give it much

Amid Your Anxiety

intentional thought. That is, until we have trouble catching our breath. Until we experience moments or seasons in life that take us by surprise and knock the wind right out of us. These are signpost moments—pivotal events that shape us in ways we never expected—hard things that forever mark us, scar us, or change us. It could be an unexpected challenge, an unplanned crisis, an unwanted trauma, or an unimaginable loss, and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a desert, a wilderness, a storm you never saw coming. These are the seasons that can strip you bare, leaving you gasping for breath and grasping for hope. Have you had moments like that?

A Fear That Takes Your Breath Away

My heart physically ached as I sat in that cold room and thought about the long and difficult journey that had ultimately led us to that hospital room that night. She was far sicker than I had realized, and the reality of it all had left me feeling overwhelmed and unsteady.

I felt small and scared and so very alone. The road that stretched ahead of us was full of uncertainty and my mind quickly filled with fear. I didn’t know how to walk this road. I didn’t want to walk this road. The previous months and years of seemingly unanswered prayers and desperate pleas to God had drained me of all my words. I had nothing left to say, nothing left to pray. I was spiraling into despair, buried by my anxiety, and I couldn’t see the way forward through the darkness that was consuming me.

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One of those moments for me was on a dark February night three years ago after hours in the emergency room, when nurses wheeled my daughter to an inpatient room on the fourth floor of a children’s hospital in Atlanta, two hours from our home. A toobig hospital gown fell loosely over her tired body and wires were strung from her chest to the monitors beside her bed, blinking with the rhythm of her struggling heart as I held her hand and she drifted off to sleep.

After she fell asleep, I collapsed with profound weariness onto the small vinyl couch near her bed. Before I could even close my eyes, the familiar signs of anxiety crashed like a wave through my body. My eyes filled with tears and my body began to shake. My chest grew tight and heavy, and my hands began to tremble as I struggled to catch my breath.

Prayer in Every Breath

But in that moment—I can’t explain why or how, other than the kind grace of God—as I was struggling to breathe and unable to focus my thoughts enough to find any words to even begin to pray, I remembered a simple prayer I had learned a few months earlier—a breath prayer. Breath prayers combine deep breathing with prayers of meditation on God’s Word, and they’re prayed to the rhythm of inhales and exhales. There in that hospital room, the words of a simple breath prayer suddenly came to my mind. Just a handful of words from Ps. 23:1 (NLT), broken into two small lines: “The Lord is my Shepherd. I have all that I need.”

he deep breathing helped calm the physical symptoms of my anxiety; the simple prayer helped me to intentionally recenter my thoughts on Christ and His love for me, and I was able to drift off to sleep with a renewed peace.

So, I took a deep breath, and as I inhaled, I tried to focus my mind on the words, “The Lord is my shepherd,” and as I exhaled, I whispered, “I have all that I need.”

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And again, breathing in deeply, I focused my thoughts on “The Lord is my shepherd,” and then breathed out “I have all that I need.” As I did this several times, my anxiety began to ease. The deep breathing helped calm the physical symptoms of my anxiety; the simple prayer helped me to intentionally recenter my thoughts on Christ and His love for me, and I was able to drift off to sleep with a renewed peace.

I wish I could say that breath prayer was a miracle cure, and my anxiety vanished forever, but it didn’t. In fact, in the days and weeks that followed, as more doctors came and more tests were run, worries and fears continued to rise up and overwhelm me. But breath prayer gave me words to pray when I had no words to pray, when all I had to offer was my trembling breath. It was my lifeline during that long hospi-

tal stay as I walked the halls, praying and breathing, breathing and praying through all the hard days. And these simple prayers continue to be a meaningful part of my everyday life to this day, helping to ease my anxiety while also strengthening my faith.

Breath Prayer Changed Me

Breath prayer is not a cure for anxiety, nor is it a replacement for medical treatment or professional therapy, but it has been a significant help to me in changing the way I respond to my anxiety. Instead of automatically spiraling into panic and despair, I intentionally slow my breathing (which is scientifically shown to help reduce anxiety) and turn my thoughts to Christ, allowing His peace to comfort my anxious heart. There will always be things in our lives that we can’t control—hard and complicated paths we didn’t choose, pain and suffering we don’t understand, storms and struggles we don’t see coming. There will be seasons that knock the wind right out of us and times when anxiety presses in hard and fear fills our minds. But anxiety is not an enemy we have to fight, and it doesn’t have to be a roadblock to our faith. In fact, it can actually be a catalyst that can draw us closer to Christ, reminding us to keep intentionally turning and returning to Him as we accept the remarkable gift of His sustaining breath and rest in His unchanging love. So today, whether you find yourself in a dark hospital room or in your own sunlit kitchen, whether you’re standing in line at the store or kneeling beside a grave, whether you’re on a hard path, the wrong path, or a path that’s been broken and busted into pieces, when the feelings of anxiety begin to press in, try taking a little time to slow down, breathe deep, and pray. The Lord is our shepherd. We already have everything we need. This article includes material from the book Breath as Prayer: Calm Your Anxiety, Focus Your Mind, And Renew Your Soul by Jennifer Tucker, copyright © 2022 by Jennifer Tucker. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, an imprint of HarperCollins Christian Publishers.

Jennifer Tucker is an illustrator, lettering artist, and

graphic designer whose work has been featured in multiple publications and books, including The Message Canvas Bible, New Mercies I See, and the ECPA bestselling coloring book Whatever Is Lovely. She is also the author of Breath as Prayer. She lives in central Georgia with her husband, Mark, and two daughters, Emma and Lilly. She writes and shares her art online at littlehousestudio.net.

Answers to Your BIGGEST QUESTIONS ABOUT ETERNITY

What can we expect in eternity? What does the Bible say about our future

home? Beloved author and Bible teacher Sheila Walsh takes you deep into

Scripture to answer your most pressing questions about heaven while offering hope and encouragement for today.

A SPECIAL DISCOUNT and FREE SHIPPING just for you!

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The Hope of Heaven Study Guide

the Life You Have

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Don’t miss all God has for you. by Aimee Claire Cooks

ave you ever observed another person’s life path and felt envious? When I was a single, divorced mom with two young sons, it was easy for me to look at intact families, especially at church, and feel envy invade my heart (um... what number commandment is “do not covet?”). When I watched families interact, it was like a small dagger poked my heart, reminding me that the dream of how I thought my life should turn out was broken. One day when a married mom was talking to me about how she had to go back to work so she could afford to remodel her kitchen, it raised a little ire in me. God, had I not desired something that was good? Why was I the one who desired to stay home yet had gone through a divorce and was forced to go back to work? I really didn’t care if I had an outdated kitchen.

Do You Love Me?

In John 21:15-21, Jesus asks Peter this question three times, and Peter answers in the affirmative each time. Jesus attempts to focus Peter because each time He addresses the disciple, Jesus uses a lengthened version of his name: “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” (vs. 16). My oldest son was a very intelligent child and was often lost in his own thoughts. I found myself repeating his name over and over before I got his attention: “Garrett…Garrett…Garrett!” He had become immune to the sound of his name. However, when I started calling him by his middle name, his eyes would focus immediately on me.

After Peter answers Jesus’s questions, Jesus says, “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17b). If we trust Jesus, we will in turn, care about the ministry opportunities He has for us. Who are your sheep? For me, at the time, they were my children, who needed me to provide a stable, peaceful home for them. My “sheep” have changed as my sons have grown into adults, but I continually ask myself, “Who is God bringing into my life in this season to pour His love into”?

Keep Your Eyes on Jesus

After Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him, Peter is frustrated and hurt. In his exasperation, Peter loses his focus and turns away from Jesus, both emotionally and physically, noticing John. The Bible says, “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him’”? (John 21:20-21). Every time I look at someone else’s life and imagine that they have an easier family life, better financial security, or even a more productive ministry, I am missing out on what Jesus has for me! Jesus tells Peter that John’s path is of no concern to Peter (vs. 22). Basically, Jesus says, “What’s it to you?” I visualize that, at this point, Peter is turned back to Jesus. Jesus looks Peter directly in the eye, giving the command, “You must follow Me” (vs. 22, emphasis added). Jesus is looking you in the eye, too. He is saying, “You must follow Me; follow Me on the path I have laid out for you.” Don’t look at what others are doing and compare your journey with theirs. God has a unique path for each of us, which will be used for His glory when we focus on Jesus and embrace our life in its present season.

Aimee Claire Cooks is currently a

home-school mom who enjoys writing in her free time. Her recent book, Take God’s Hand: Hope and Help for Rebuilding Your Family After Divorce came out in 2024. Aimee lives in Wis., in a beautiful, blended family with her husband, two sons, two stepchildren, and adopted daughter. Read more at aimeecooks.com.

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I do not want to become immune to the sound of God’s voice, but sometimes He needs to get my attention. I can hear Jesus asking me, “Aimee Claire, do you love Me?” I would answer, “Of course I do,” but what Jesus is truly asking is: Do I trust the plan He has for my life? Do I trust Him when my family does not look like that of others? I sometimes think I know better than Jesus, so He may have to address me more than once, just like He did with Peter.

Feed My Sheep

Gritty Gratıtude The power of a thankful life. by Jenni LaBrie

fter a random twist of events, I found myself at the unexpected helm of a sinking ship in the public education district office. It was a bitterly hard, brutal day. I was leading an education system through the aftershocks of a pandemic, which meant absorbing the frustrations, anxieties, inflated egos, and passionate professional aggression of others. I was logically able to frame the “hard” of this day to not take it personally, but the negative energy thrust in my direction had nowhere to land. So, my subconscious nervous system took a hit. Normally, a day like this would have manifested into lies, like barnacles hitching a ride on the bottom of a drowning vessel— weighing it down even more.

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Lies like:

• There is no hope for this project. • You don’t know how to lead. • Today was wasted. • This is it for you. Nothing more.

Gratitude Rescues

There is a strategy that stops the liar in his tracks, though: gratitude. He can’t compete with it and he doesn’t know what to make of it. Brain science tells us that gratitude is good for our mental health. But what if we also leverage it as the bucket bailing the rushing water out of our leaking hulls? A weapon of truth we can wield against the lies? Can gratitude be a rescuer? Many of us default to stock responses for our gratitude. We’re grateful for family or friends or Saturdays. These gifts are beautiful and true, but when we’re sinking to our depths, platitudes of thankfulness feel dismissive—a version of self-directed toxic positivity. Gratitude is misunderstood as a cop-out, but therein lies the lie. Replace your go-to responses with guttural expressions of grace. Gratitude is most effective in our submerged places, where it pierces through the depths to fight the undercurrent. There is always a way to the surface.

Five Steps to Truth

1. Acknowledge the looping lies in your head. You need to be able to accurately identify the lies if you ever expect to free yourself of them. 2. Write down your day’s troubles. This is one of the best ways for you to actually see what you are working with. Keep a small notebook with you, which allows you to jot things down on the go: in the parking lot, at your office desk, on your lunch break, at home at the end of the day. Write them down. If you prefer digital, use the voiceto-text feature in your notes app. It matters less where your list of troubles goes and more that you see it somewhere.

Reframe the Lies

Gratitude rescues us by reframing each day’s lies. When used with care, it doesn’t placate and patronize, but preserves and protects. We make headway when we refuse to allow the lies of life to weigh us down. We get to fight the lies every time we demand truth through thankfulness. Gratitude isn’t dismissive of our current realities; it’s an essential component of them. Practicing gratitude leads us out of the lies. It communicates enough is enough, especially when the weight of our circumstances seems heaviest. The rescue mission of gratitude is always available to us. The mistake most of us make with gratitude is to keep it to the surface of our struggles. Being grateful for my pet fish isn’t going to rescue me from the sharks circling below. I need to find the truth amongst the deepest, hardest lies. Don’t keep your thanksgiving at the surface; attend to the seething below. It may not feel like it, but His good truth is even here.

Wield Gritty Gratitude

In each day’s troubles, we have to learn to wield gritty gratitude if we are ever going to leave the pull of the deep and come up for air. Rescue requires a depth of gratitude beyond trite responses. Gratefulness for our family, blessings, and comforts are necessary so that we don’t take any of it for granted. However, to wield gratitude as your rescuer, you must challenge yourself beyond the basics. There is an element of grittier defiance to it.

Here in this sunken place, where your fragmented heart knows nothing better than to instinctively seethe, is where you start.

4. Find the embedded lies. Circle them, rewrite them, color code them—whatever it takes for you to see them for what they really are. Call them out for what they are: lies. 5. Fight against the lies. Rewrite them in truth with statements of gritty gratitude. Reframe your storyline for the goodness that it is.

Rewrite the Lies

My lies didn’t have the opportunity to barnacle themselves to the hull of my experience. There would be no sinking because I applied gritty gratitude to scrub myself free of them. On that bitterly brutal day, I chose to reframe and rewrite the lies: • I’m grateful for such a challenging project and all it is teaching me and others. • I’m grateful for the poise God placed within me while under verbal assault. • I’m grateful my worth (and others’) isn’t defined by what we produce but by the growth God gives us.. • I’m grateful for the hope instilled in my heart by the creative passion project He is leading and sustaining me through. You can face the lies, too. In time, and with consistent practice, you will surface. Your gritty gratitude will pull you out of the deep. Your lungs freeing from the water pressure as you breathe in the air found at the surface. Acknowledgement of enough. Rest. Freedom. Satisfaction. Joy—all enough.

Jenni LaBrie is a writer, podcaster,

and coach of professionals. Marriage and life with three kids is a beautiful blur where she only has time to wash her hair on Saturdays. You can find her at jennilabrie.com or, if the weather is cooperating in her hometown in the Chicago suburbs, sipping root beers on the front porch with her family.

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Where are you seething today? Where are you sinking? What troubles of today are sloshing around and weighing you down? That. Right there. That is where you begin the rescue mission of gritty gratitude.

3. Read what you’ve written. Take the time and space you need to acknowledge the weight and impact to your life.

PRAYER PROMPTS

Morning Prayer—First Day Eternal Father of my soul, let my first thought today be of You, let my first impulse be to worship You, let my first word be Your Name, let my first action be to kneel before You in prayer. For Your perfect wisdom and perfect goodness; For the love You have for all people; for the love You have for me; For the great and mysterious opportunity of my life; For Your Spirit, who dwells in my heart; I praise and worship You, O Lord. Yet when this morning prayer is finished, do not let me think that my worship is ended and spend the rest of the day forgetting You. Rather, from these quiet moments, let light and joy and power pour out and remain with me through every hour of this day.

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May that light be joy and power: Keep my thoughts pure; keep me gentle and truthful in all I say; Keep me faithful and diligent in my work; keep me humble in my opinion of myself; Keep me honorable and generous in my dealings with others; Keep me loyal to every cherished memory of the past; Keep me mindful of my eternal destiny as Your child. O God, You have been the refuge of Your people through many generations; be my refuge in every moment and every need that I face today. Be my guide through all uncertainty and darkness. Be my guard against all that threatens my spiritual wellbeing. Be my strength in times of testing. Cheer my heart with Your peace; through Jesus Christ my Lord. Amen. Reprinted from A Diary of Private Prayer by John Baillie, updated and revised by Susanna Wright, Scribner, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc., ©1977. Used with permission.

INTENTIONAL

TIME

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othing has brought me greater joy than being a grandma—lots of fun with little responsibility! Grandparents can have an amazing impact on the lives of their grandchildren. According to the International Journal of Public Health, grandparents today have a more significant role in the lives of their grandchildren than they have had in the past. Positive outcomes include enhanced cognitive and verbal skills along with improved overall mental health and well-being. Scripture also encourages grandparents to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives. “…do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your

WITH THE GRANDS

How to make a lifelong impact on your grandchildren. by Ann M. Cook

children and to their children after them” (Deut. 4:9). In our current culture, we shouldn’t underestimate the influence we can have—especially on a spiritual level. We have a wonderful opportunity to make a positive impact, now and for years to come. We’ve asked some of our JBU authors and friends to share some of their experiences with their grandkids. May their wisdom encourage and inspire you as you intentionally spend time with your grands!

What do you do to keep close with your grandchildren who live far away? Our gen-

eration is blessed with many tools to stay in touch. Consistent virtual calls work great, just tailor the topic to their ages. For toddlers and preschoolers, we read books, draw pictures or letters on a white board, sing songs, or say a goodnight prayer. What works well for school-aged kids is talking about their day, reviewing schoolwork, or having them read their favorite book. Older kids may just want to chat. The amount of time isn’t what’s important, it’s our consistent presence that matters! Writing cards of encouragement and sending stickers or small packages around each holiday helps maintain closeness as well. -Ann M. Cook

What have you done to foster relationships with your teenage/young adult grandchildren? We love celebrating special occasions, so

organizing gatherings is something we’ve done for years. We also make regular phone calls, send greeting cards, and have one-on-one outings when possible. Recently, a granddaughter remarked that she could always count on a Valentine card from us—she is now 25. Valentine’s greetings are also a good time to include a “love Scripture”! Through the years we’ve hosted an annual “Cousin's Camp” with all our children and grandchildren—a weekend of themed activities, decorations, dress, and food at our home. Our deepest joy would be for each to “walk in truth” (3 John 1:4). -Carma & Clark Bowerman

Tell us about some of the fun things you’ve done to build and retain relationships with your grands. One of the favorite things is to take

them to a particular restaurant in town. I bring playing cards, games, books, or coloring items. We have a table we like, the staff knows us, we always order the same thing, and we stay for hours. When they start to get squirrelly, it’s time to leave and get the wiggles out. One afternoon, a young employee stopped us on our way out, and with tears in her eyes said, “It meant so much to me to watch you and your grandchildren today. My grandmother and I played games together. I miss her so much.” -Sarah Nielsen

As a mom, what have the grandmas in your family done to make an impact on your kids?

What have you done to spiritually impact your grandchildren? I try to show how exciting,

real, and personal God is! I pray for each one weekly along with my monthly Gramma Group—other like-minded praying grandmas. I pray for open hearts, listening ears, God’s work in each life, and for God to draw each one to Himself so they can know and trust Him personally. Every summer we memorize a Bible verse, pray out loud together, sing “God songs” at bedtime, and talk about Him often throughout the day. -Cindy Kirkpatrick

How do you foster deeper conversations with your grandchildren? Spending time together

requires creativity and offers a platform for conversation. For girls, shopping and lunch or attending a play followed with ice cream works well. For boys, we attend or watch sporting events or watch an action movie with them. I’ve learned more about the Milwaukee Brewers and the Green Bay Packers than I ever imagined! We’ve helped fill boxes for Operation Christmas Child, volunteered together at church, and helped with ministry projects. For college students, we’ve visited most of their campuses. We actively listen to be open to their ideas and opinions—without being judgmental. Weaving in spiritual conversations requires waiting for the right moment. I listen for opportunities to ask for prayer requests and pray with them if it seems like the right time. -Carma Bowerman

What memories do you have of your grandmother impacting your faith? My grandma

Marlea prayed for all her children and grandchildren to come to know the Lord and to marry Christians— which they did. At Christmas she made a birthday cake for Jesus, and we all sang happy birthday to Him before we opened presents. She taught us Scripture verses, sang Bible songs in the car, and at bedtime, talked about what salvation meant. Her worn Bible was always open with devotions and notes stuck inside. She had different verses and sayings about Jesus in frames around her home. She was a lot of fun, a great cook, and her love and kindness to all of us made an everlasting mark on my faith and life. -Cindy Kirkpatrick

Ann M. Cook, MSN, RN is a retired

nurse and nursing instructor. She and her husband, Randy, enjoy three grown children, and seven delightful grandchildren. She lives in Okauchee, Wis.

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My kids hit the jackpot with their grandparents. Having only one set, my parents have more than made up for that loss. One of the biggest ways they’ve impacted our kids is through supporting us as parents. They have respected us in our parenting style, even if it isn’t always the way they would do it. By releasing us to establish our own family traditions without interference, they have deepened our relationships as a family and with them. I have so appreciated that they’ve been willing to be the flexible ones, working

around our family (especially for holidays), what’s best for our kids, and the load we carry in keeping our unique family strong. They’ve been our constant cheerleaders, modeling how to be our kids’ encouragers. I love that our kids still love spending time with them—and they are all young adults now. -Shelly Esser

expectantly

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Looking to Mary for a picture of Advent hope.

by Melissa Jongetjes

s Christmas approaches, I try not to think of the holidays too much. Difficult memories, that completely changed my life, can start to surface. In December 2022, I spent the entire Christmas season in the hospital without my family. During this challenging time, I journaled about my thoughts and feelings trying to connect them to Advent and especially to Mary, the mother of Jesus. She would know some of what I was going through. In 2020, my husband and I found ourselves trying to

discern God’s plan for our family, but we weren’t on the same page. Dan wanted to try for another boy, and I was perfectly content with our family of five— two girls and a boy. I felt at a loss because I desperately wanted to know how to move forward. We finally decided to give it the summer and see what happened. I lifted my heart up to the Lord and said, “Take this from me, it’s in Your hands now!” Not surprisingly, a few months later I found out I was pregnant. During the ultrasound, I was fully expecting

to get an accurate due date, see that sweet babe, and hear the heartbeat. As we looked at the screen, I could tell something was off. Those few seconds of silence felt like an eternity. My doctor finally said, “I think it’s twins… except I don’t know what kind of twins.” That simple sentence changed our lives.

The Unexpected Waiting Little did I know that God’s plan for our family wasn’t the addition of one child, but twins—high risk, rare, with many potential complications—identical twin girls! I was diagnosed with a 1 in 60,000-100,000 pregnancy— mono-amnionic, monochorionic twins—babies sharing the same sac and placenta. Due to the myriad of risks involved, the only treatment was to be hospitalized with monitoring until the babies were born. The best-case scenario would be a C-section at 34 weeks with healthy babies. The worst case would be the loss of both girls, before we ever met them. After a teary goodbye to Dan and the kids, I was admitted to the hospital’s maternity unit. Did I mention this was during COVID? I was alone and didn’t have a visitor for over a week. I crumbled; I felt helpless, utterly alone, with no sense of purpose. My family, friends, and responsibilities as a mom were stripped away, replaced by unfamiliar noises, nurses, doctors, an uncomfortable bed, and a long walk for good coffee.

Mary, the Mother of Jesus As Advent began, I thought a lot about Mary. From what the Gospels tell us, I imagined her to be an obedient and courageous woman—a woman of faith, filled with God’s Word in her heart. She was preparing to marry Joseph when her preparations took an abrupt turn into an unusual pregnancy. Mary couldn’t have fully understood the role she would play in carrying out God’s promises from long ago. From what we know, God didn’t give her a detailed outline of His plan or information about what was to come. My guess is that she had doubts and insecurities, much like me. Where I lacked faith, Mary’s response was full of faith. By God’s grace, she opened herself up to the Lord’s will and called herself His servant. As I reflected on this, I was able to shift my focus from my intense fear of losing the girls to opening my heart to see how God was going to work in me.

Hope is Born In my fatigue and loneliness, I realized this was what Advent is all about. Advent meets us in our longings and weariness yet points us to the thrill of hope. Mary embodied this longing and hope of Advent, waiting with expectation for the Messiah’s arrival—her Messiah. My season in the hospital was one of expectant waiting. Daily, I waited for news on my condition; I waited for days or even weeks at a time to see my children, and I waited for months to meet my girls. I didn’t always wait with joy and expectancy like Mary, but those long days of waiting changed me. They drew me closer to the Lord. They taught me that when I am forced to let go of control, His mercies, grace, and gifts overflow. God provided me with so much more than I deserved in that hospital room. Any need that I had was covered, any question or doubt was lifted up in prayer, any tear that was shed fell to a caring heart that embraced me from afar and covered me with the arms of Jesus. The Lord chose our family to receive Tessa and Lily, our miracle babies. He chose the path and timing for this to take place. He knew long ago that this would be our family’s story—a high-risk twin pregnancy, in the midst of a pandemic, during the Christmas season. He knew I would spend 40 days in the hospital before delivering healthy twin girls. Now, as a mama of five kids, it’s my prayer that when God asks me to do something or He changes my plans, I would respond with the same faith and obedience as Mary did.

What Are You Waiting for? During this Christmas season, is there something you are expectantly waiting for as you rejoice in your Savior?

Melissa Jongetjes fills her time

caring for her family, serving in both her school and church communities, and sharing about the incredible love and grace of her Savior. She and her husband, Dan, live in Wis., with their five young kids.

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God chose Mary. I’m not sure she would have asked for the honor! She wasn’t warned or given a few days to think it over. The news she received changed her entire life. After the Angel told her in Luke 1:31, “You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus” her response was “I am the Lord’s servant, may your word to me be fulfilled” (Lk. 1:38).

Her story was such an encouragement to me. The words of her song in Luke 1:46-47, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior,” rang in my heart. Mary chose to glorify God in her circumstances. In my overwhelming helplessness, I began to believe everything would be okay, no matter what happened. I believed Jesus could use me in my weakness and He reminded me that I didn’t have to walk this journey alone—He would always be with me.

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Gift Ideas to

Nurture Your Relationship with God! Consider one of these beautifully designed devotionals or Bibles from our trusted publishers to give as Christmas gifts or get your new year off to a great start! What better way to help yourself and those you love to draw closer to God in the coming year!

Inspirational Giﬅs

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Bible Studies and Devooonals by Tracy Hill for you and all the women on your list

A Daughter of the King

Available on Amazon or where books are sold.

Colossians

Living

YOUR FAITH

When Trouble Sets You Aside by Rosann Coulon

hadows from the morning sunlight danced across my bedroom ceiling and caught my eye as I awoke, but it was difficult to welcome its presence. After another fitful night of sleep, my physical forecast for that day appeared the same as the long stretch of days preceding it: sprinkled with gloom and containing a splash of doom. Years had passed since my diagnosis of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. I had expected an upturn in my health by this point, yet the symptoms had worsened. Muscle pain, headaches, and insomnia robbed me of my ability to participate in the simplest tasks. Swaddled in my bed linens, I prayed: “Lord, what’s my purpose here?” No matter what words I prayed—or how long—heaven was silent to my pleas for deliverance. Looking back on that season of my life, the words of Psalm 4:3a rush to my mind: Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself.

Perhaps you’re wrestling with the same questions. Maybe sickness, grief, financial hardship, or infertility has left you feeling far from the place where you know you could serve a purpose if given the chance. Instead, life is passing by without your contribution. During that period when it seemed like God had placed me on life’s shelf, I learned that sometimes the Lord will separate us from doing so He can teach us lessons in being—simply being with Him. Our Father wants us to be confident in Him—His presence, provision, and power—not in what we can do for Him (or anyone else). Cling to this truth: although the Father’s hand may separate us from the hustle and bustle of life’s activities, we’re never separated from Him. And just as God sustained David in his isolation, protected, and delivered him from his enemies, He will do the same for His children today. Like David, we can declare: the LORD hears when I call to him (Ps. 4:3b). Take heart. Your Father is with you. He’s listening and providing treasures that are unavailable amid the hum of activity. Hallelujah!

After fleeing his kingdom, David found himself “set apart.” He was separated from his calling, his people,

Rosann Coulon is the founder of Leaving a Well Ministries. Her desire is to spread biblical hope and encouragement to those

living in hard seasons. She has written for various online publications, including Hosanna Revival, WHEN blog, TGC, and Calla Press. Visit Rosann’s website at leavingawell.com or connect with her at Instagram.com/rosann_coulon. blog.

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King David penned these words while running from his son, Absolom, and his cohorts. Absolom ordered the death of his father because Absolom desired the throne of Israel for himself. It was David’s rightful position—assigned to him by the Lord to oversee the welfare of His people. But David’s enemy was hot on his trail.

and his expectations. I imagine he—like me—wondered what God was up to, the purpose of his trial, and when the Lord would answer his prayers for rescue.

Life Bridge on the

How to survive transitions. by Sylvia Schroeder

ne night, a few months ago, when half-empty boxes still scattered the rooms of our new house and upset the corners of my heart, I dreamed that I walked the center section of a long-hanging bridge spanning a deep canyon. For me, transition is like a swinging bridge. I don’t like walking on it. I dread the journey, but as much as I want the stability of being off its mid-air queasiness, I mourn each step forward, because it lengthens the distance from what I’ve left behind. On one end the place we’d called home beckoned with a crowd of family and friends. On the other side stood our new house, not yet my home, and a small handful of people. In my dream, halfway there; and halfway not, I stood on one foot with my other raised mid-step. I couldn’t put it down. Like a child playing “freeze,” I tottered, trying to keep my balance. Despite my slow-motion attempt, dream-induced, Herculean effort, my right foot remained in the air, like I did. No terrible thing awaited me on the other side. I simply couldn’t increase the distance from all I’d left. I couldn’t bear the fade of forgotten yesterdays, which would eventually come. The obvious good adjustment I needed to make wouldn’t happen because of its wrenching detachment from what I left behind.

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This is transition. My family has had our share, and yours may have too.

Lessons from a Biblical Transition

I don’t know how Joshua in the Bible felt during his transition from Moses’ leadership to his own. I’m not sure if the prospect filled him with excitement, zeal, or sadness over the loss of those not permitted to enter the Promised Land with him.

The Israelites had walked in a long state of transition without coming to their destination. Forty years passed. A yearning to settle accompanied them. Life kept moving in circles. “Home” remained out of reach because of their lack of faith and disobedience to God. Joshua “filled of the spirit of wisdom” (Deut. 34:9) was almost 90 when he became Israel’s leader. His parting from Moses must have been a painful goodbye. The ever-shrinking rearview mirror of their initial exodus, the miraculous events, and the deaths of his heroes of faith, surely folded sadness with joy. God knew what Joshua needed in order to step into the Promised Land. In Joshua 1:1-9, God’s reassuring words after Moses’ death speak to the upheaval of his transition. They lay a foundation to progress and strike the solid ground we all need at times. God commissioned Joshua with the following:

God’s Continued Presence

“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Josh.1:5). Joshua filled big shoes. God spoke to Moses as a friend, face-to-face (Ex. 33:11). God performed great miracles through Moses. He led the people out of slavery. As Joshua took the helm, he must have realized the huge task behind and before. God knew Joshua needed to hear these comforting words. Today on our journeys, these words can comfort us as well. No matter what soil passes under our feet, He will not leave us or forsake us. He led us in the past. He will again.

A Resolute Heart and Mind

God repeated to Joshua the stance his heart and mind needed to take. “Be strong and courageous” (Josh. 1:6); “Be strong and very courageous” (1:7), and again, “Be strong and courageous” (1:9). Each charge is followed by an admonishment to stay the course already laid out. God knows what is ahead. In 2 Cor. 12:9-10, the apostle Paul shares that he delights in weakness because it reveals God’s strength. The process of change often exposes cracks. Strength and courage come from God, not us. We can take heart knowing His supply is endless. “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night” (Josh. 1:8). Transition brings upheaval to our thoughts and plays havoc with emotions. Move toward Scripture. Linger in it. Meditate on it. Soak it up. Trust Scripture as your anchor of truth.

Verse 8 concludes with, “…so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.” God’s commands give discernment for daily life. God reinforced to the Israelites the importance of carefully following His laws. God reminded them of ways He had been faithful in the past so they could go forward into the future. He promised to meet their needs as they obeyed. But they often chose rebellion. Their example cautions us to consider and confess any sin on our transition journey. Obedience to God and His Word aids us to move forward.

Another Step

Recently, a dear friend asked, “How is the transition?” The image of the swinging bridge with my foot in the air came to me as clearly as if I’d been there. I guess in a sense I had. I looked at him with surprise, suddenly aware of a bit of progress. “I put the foot down,” I said reflectively, “But I’m not sure I’ve taken another step.”

No matter what soil passes under our “feet, He will not leave us or forsake us. He led us in the past. He will again.”

Everyone goes through transition at some time. Life is full of changes. Some people thrive on new adventure, variety, and challenges, but for many of us, the path of transition doesn’t come easily. Gain and loss mark each one. My hanging bridge dream prompted me to look both behind and before with thanksgiving. I can worship God in the middle knowing that Jesus walks on swaying bridges too. His presence steadies my feet. On both sides of transition’s bridge, He gently bids, “Be strong and courageous.” Jesus, the Son of God, left His home to live in ours. He took on flesh. He walked our road. He understands difficult journeys, and He cheers us on to put one foot down and then another. He plants our feet on solid ground. A faithful Father nudges me forward. It’s time to take another step.

Sylvia Schroeder loves connecting

God’s Word to real life at When the House is Quiet. She is wife to her one and only love, mother of four children, and grandmother of fourteen. She lives in Charlottesville, Va.

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God’s Word

Obedience

a mountain

Surprıse I ȷustbetweenus winter 2024

could barely contain my excitement about setting foot on Swiss soil again. It had been years since I last visited, and this trip felt different from the start. My Swiss brother, Jurg, whom I had known since high school when he was a YMCA exchange student living with our family, had insisted I come for a visit. He had been battling cancer for over two decades, living far beyond the expectations of his medical team, but time was running out.

Sadly, when I arrived, the toll the illness had taken on Jurg was evident. He was much weaker than the last time we had seen each other. It broke my heart when, at dinner, he opened a small suitcase on the kitchen counter filled with his daily medications. I knew then that this would be our last physical good-

Gifts that aren’t limited by the boundaries of our lifetime. by Shelly Esser

bye. Despite the heaviness that accompanied this reality, I was determined to cherish every last moment we had together.

Up the Mountain

Jurg had told me, with a twinkle in his eye, that he had a big surprise for me when I arrived. I could hardly wait to find out what he had up his sleeve. “Maybe going to a Swiss chocolate factory?” I thought, “after all I had come to love it.” But when he told me that I would be going up into the mountains for two days with his wife, Inge, I was surprised. Why, after just arriving, was he sending me away without him? Though our families had been crisscrossing the ocean for 40 years—intertwined in a way that felt like one family, despite the distance—Jurg had al-

ways been at the heart of it all, the one who kept us connected. I knew and loved his family, but not with the same depth I knew him. He was the glue always driving our relationships. Inge and I journeyed up the mountains with a quiet nervousness, both of us a bit uneasy without Jurg’s familiar presence. Her small car wound its way along the narrow serpentine roads, taking us higher and higher into the towering snow-capped mountains. Later, I learned that we were both a little anxious— Inge worried about her English, and both of us unsure of how things would play out without Jurg there to guide us. It was uncharted territory for us. At one point, we had to drive the car onto a train, which whisked us through a long, dark tunnel that burrowed through the heart of the mountains, a strange and surreal passage transporting us to the other side. Inge and I sat in the darkness silently, our silhouettes barely visible. Then something that could only be orchestrated by God happened. Our wandering anxious thoughts found words. The tunnel’s darkness opened the door allowing us to release our anxieties and break through the walls as we shared our mutual grief through tears—a grief that had been locked up inside both of us and never spoken between us. God was giving us “treasures hidden in the darkness” (Isa. 45:3, NLT)—a solace in each other in our shared grief and a relationship gift that would become even more treasured and enduring in the days and years to come.

A Purpose-Filled Plan

Jurg never lived life haphazardly. He was intentional with what he did and how he did it, especially when it came to relationships. He cherished his time with others and ensured that every visit was meaningful. In his later years, Jurg made countless “last” visits to the States to say goodbye, only to rally and return once more. This continued for years, a testament to his resilient spirit and his desire to live life to its fullest even in his deteriorating condition.

question he took seriously. While living his life to the fullest every minute despite constantly staring death in the face, Jurg modeled what it looks like to die richly. Always thinking of his family and ours, he paid careful attention to every last detail—like a surprising mountain trip for me and Inge—so that the most important things in life would carry on in his absence. While squeezing everything he possibly could out of his numbered days, he was the epitome of dying richly. It took determination, prayer, and focus to live his life that way, but because he lived richly all of his life, his death became a natural extension of that and living all the more richly—leaving us with treasures we will hold forever and that helps soothe the ache and fill the empty places he’s left behind.

The Lasting Fruit of Faith

Jurg’s life continues to bear rich fruit in all our lives. Author Henri Nouwen sums it up well: You and I have to trust that our short little lives can bear fruit beyond the boundaries of our chronologies. But we have to choose this and trust deeply that we have a spirit to send that will bring joy, peace, and life to those who will remember us… More than ever I am convinced that death can, indeed, be chosen as our final gift of life. Our death may be the end of our success, our productivity, our fame, or our importance among people, but it is not the end of our fruitfulness. This is the mystery of Jesus’ death and of the deaths of all who lived in his Spirit. Their lives yield fruit far beyond the limits of their short and often very localized existence. Jurg’s short life is a reminder that dying richly is a choice we can make every day, and how those intentional choices can leave a lasting legacy especially through the importance of nurturing our relationships, cherishing the time we have, and choosing to live fully, even in the face of life’s greatest challenges. Death can actually birth some of the greatest, most enduring, and richest gifts of all—treasures to be discovered and found in the darkness.

Are You Dying Richly?

Shelly Esser has been the editor

Toward the end of his life, a friend asked him this profound question, “Are you going to die richly?” A

That surprising trip up the mountains continues to yield rich fruit all because my brother intentionally chose to live and die richly—and in so doing gave us a final gift to outlast a lifetime.

of Just Between Us for over 30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters, two sons-inlaw, a grandson, and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

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Jurg lost his valiant cancer battle two summers ago. There’s no doubt that the trip he sent Inge and me on up into the mountains was his deliberate plan so that we would connect on the same deep heart-level that we had with him, so that the connection would carry on between our families long after he was gone. And that’s exactly what happened. We said goodbye to Jurg’s daughter and family after a three-week stay this past summer and Inge visited us in the fall for the third time since his death. I know Jurg is smiling.

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IS YOUR SOUL

Where’s Jesus When I’m Scared?

THIRSTY?

Written by Laura E. Sandretti Illustrated by Adriana Hayes

DISCOVER THE SPRINGS

Engaging in ministry requires regular times away with Jesus to sustain your spiritual life. The Springs Retreat offers a nurturing environment to renew your soul. It’s a time for drawing near to Jesus. Discover what blessings await you at The Springs.

Help for Anxious Little Ones! Where’s Jesus When I’m Scared? is about a Japanese-American girl named Natasha, who learns that even when she struggles to make good choices, Jesus’ unconditional love and presence will help her when she’s afraid. Based on the author’s childhood struggles with anxiety, this beautiful book with hand rendered illustrations, includes characters based on both the author’s and illustrator’s adopted, multi-racial children.

newim.org @newimconnects

Laura Sandretti is an active speaker, author, and columnist for Just Between Us. Visit her at laurasandretti.com

Adriana Hayes is a wife, mom, art professor, illustrator, and author. Visit her on Instagram @madebyadri

Available at laurasandretti.com and Amazon. A portion of book sales benefits Conflict Sports, a non-profit boxing club for youth in Milwaukee’s inner city.

A compassionate gift when there are no words to console. Grieving with God Journaling to Heal Your Broken Heart By Sharon Fox God ing with

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Your Brok

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By Sharo

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A journal designed with fifteen scripture-supported topics on grief recovery. Each section of the journal provides helpful information as well as pages upon which to record the journey to contentment after a loss.

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GROW YOUR DISCIPLESHIP

What Does

Fasting Do Spiritually? by Ann M. Cook In biblical times, fasting was an observed spiritual discipline, though not required or commanded. It is saying “no” to yourself and saying “yes” to God. It is denying yourself food or abstaining from pleasures such as social media, phones, or other activities for a set amount of time and replacing this with prayer and meditation. In denying ourselves we can discover a more powerful connection with God. Through fasting and prayer, the Holy Spirit can transform our lives. Bill Bright, founder of CRU, said, “I am convinced that when God’s people fast with a proper biblical motive—seeking God’s face, not His hand—He will heal our lives, our churches, our communities, our nation, and our world.” If you desire a spiritual deepening in your life, fasting is a good place to start.

Benefits of Fasting

• Fasting enables the Holy Spirit to reveal our true spiritual condition, resulting in brokenness, repentance, and a transformed life. • Through fasting, the Holy Spirit is able to imprint God’s Word more deeply on our hearts and transform our prayer life, making it a richer experience.

Pitfalls to Avoid

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Our motive in fasting is to glorify God, not to have an emotional experience. Avoid fasting to impress others, or to gain God’s favor. Matthew 6 tells us to “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others in order to be seen by them.” We’re to keep our fasting private (vv. 1, 16-18).

Fasting is intended to focus our attention on God, not to damage our health. If you struggle with an eating disorder or have a prohibitive health condition, fasting may look different for you. Please exercise discretion— God will meet you where you are.

Three Types of Fasts

Partial Fast: What days of the week, which meals, and what length of time will you fast? Will you skip breakfast for a week, or all meals every Tuesday for a month? Adjust according to what works best for your schedule.

Total Fast: A total fast fits our traditional idea of a fast. To fast this way, drink only water and abstain from food for a set number of days. Selective Fast: This involves going without something specific like sweets, soda, coffee, social media, TV, or phones for a set amount of time.

Tips for a Successful Fast • Choose a set time and quiet place to spend in prayer and meditation that replaces mealtime. • Read God’s Word beginning with a passage focusing on His character. • Confess any sins—attitudes, actions, motives, and desires—as the Spirit brings them to mind. Meditate on what you know about God and what He reveals to you (Ps. 19:14). • Bring God your personal needs and intercede for loved ones and friends. Try the ACTS method of prayer: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. • Ask God to strengthen your resolve. During this time of heightened spiritual devotion, Satan will do everything he can to pull you away from your fast. Usually, fasting results in a renewed closeness with God and a greater sensitivity to spiritual things, but don’t be disappointed if this isn’t your experience. Remember, your fast is an act of worship, and God will honor your commitment. If you want another way to grow closer to God, it may be time to grow your spiritual discipline of fasting. As pastor and author John Piper says, “Ultimately we fast simply because we want God more than we want anything this world has to offer us. We fast because we’re hungry for God’s Word and God’s Spirit in our lives.”

Ann M. Cook, MSN, RN, is a retired

nurse and nursing instructor. She and her husband, Randy, enjoy three grown children, and seven delightful grandchildren. She lives in Okauchee, Wis.

What Holds Your Focus?

minutes in the

WORD By Dorie Etrheim

As the holidays approach, I often start with the best intentions and meticulous plans. Yet, it takes little time for my focus to waver. Soon, I’m engulfed by worries about perfect meals, the right gifts, and managing family dynamics. I compare my efforts to others, and my initial excitement becomes stress. It’s easy to lose sight of Jesus when focusing on other things, even good things. Has this ever happened to you? This is not a new struggle. Miriam, Moses’ sister, had a similar experience. God called her to protect her baby brother, and later, she served as a prophetess. However, there was a moment when Miriam lost focus. She became preoccupied with what Moses was doing, and her comparison led her down a path that resulted in a serious consequence—leprosy (Num. 12). It’s easy for us to become distracted and fall into the comparison trap. So, how do we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus? Let’s start with remembering. In the apostle Paul’s final letter to Timothy, what does he remind Timothy of in 2 Timothy 2:8?

To maintain this focus, we must be intentional to study Jesus—look intimately for Him from cover to cover in the Bible. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you rediscover Him afresh. The Holy Spirit is your guide, and as you immerse yourself in the Word, your love for Jesus will grow more profound, making it easier to keep your eyes fixed on Him, even amidst the chaos.

Digging Deeper In Hebrews 12:2, “fix our eyes” is the Greek word aphorao, meaning to look away from all distractions and steadfastly, intentionally focus on Jesus. The word “consider” in Hebrews 12:3 is the Greek word analogizomai, a command meaning to think about accurately again and again. We see a clear biblical mandate to be intentional about continually fixing our thoughts and minds on Jesus. Remember, reflect, and rediscover Jesus. Read Colossians 1:13-20. Focus on the magnificence of Jesus, the One who rescues, redeems, and reconciles us. How will you respond to Him?

How could Timothy, a leader of leaders, ever forget Jesus? Yet, in the original Greek, Paul’s command is not just to remember Jesus but to continually fix your mind on Him—to make it a daily practice to recall who Jesus is and what He has done. By fixing your eyes on these truths about Jesus, you can continually draw strength, guidance, and peace from His presence in your life. What does Hebrews 12:1-3 encourage us to do?

What would Miriam say to us in her time of reflection? Perhaps she would urge us to focus on our relationship with God.

Take some time to reflect: Where is your focus? What are your distractions? Prayerfully consider how to turn your eyes away from the distractions and fix them on Jesus.

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To intentionally fix our eyes on Jesus, we must reflect on the distractions and sins that entangle us, freeing ourselves to focus entirely on His teachings and His example.

For Your Journal

INTENTIONAL FAITH

God of the Middle by Jen Allee

urrently, I am watching a loved one walk a tough road. All I can do is witness the situation and pray. Powerless to change anything, I often wonder how it will play out. Depending on the day, I might be at peace or fraught with worry. Uncertainty and ambiguity are painful to watch. And they are painful to walk through. Scripture tells us Jesus is “the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End” (Rev. 21:6). These victorious titles are comforting and easy to comprehend. But what about life in the middle? We spend the majority of our days in between those spiritual bookends, often losing sight of how things began and anxious over how they might end.

The Messy Middle

Life in the middle is messy. Anxiety can be seen slinking around, and there’s a rollercoaster of hope and despair that winds and dips throughout. This in-between space is where I am fearful and fragile, in need of courage and confidence. But despite the chaos, I am learning that God is still God of the middle. There is strength and victory at the halfway point, too. When Jesus claims to be the Alpha and the Omega, He is establishing His authority and sovereignty over both what begins and what ends. Yet the only way He can set something in motion and ensure the outcome is to successfully manage the in-between. Life cannot go off the rails in the middle and still end up on track. It is simple math, really. So how do we move that intellectual arithmetic from our heads into our hearts?

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Finding the Balance

Alpha and Omega are titles of authority. But God is more than a valiant King who sits mightily on His throne. He is also a gentle and merciful Father who gathers us in His arms and woos us to rest in Him. I am learning I cannot have one without the other.

If I focus solely on God’s ultimate control over my life, I struggle to grasp His love for me. How do I reconcile painful circumstances knowing He is sovereign over them? Likewise, if I concentrate on His goodness, then I will doubt His sovereignty when difficult situations arise. The solution is to balance both attributes equally in my heart. Because it is through the lens of goodness that He chooses to reign.

The Choice

Inevitably, with every new season, I will stumble over something in the middle and wonder if God is still in charge. In those moments, I have a choice to make. Will I fret and worry and allow the cluttered chaos to overwhelm me? Or will I trust that He is the Alpha, the Omega, and the God of the Middle? As we ponder the birth of Jesus, let’s not forget His messy middle. His death on the cross sparked confusion and despair. And yet within days the sadness soured into indescribable praise as He stood resurrected and alive. And that wasn’t the end. The best is yet to come! If Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection were foretold in the Scriptures, then we can trust His return will also unfold just as it has been written. Believing God’s sovereignty and goodness are both necessary if I want to overcome the fears of my messy middles. The former gives me peace and the latter gives me hope. Together they allow me to keep walking through the middle, knowing the end has already been secured.

➜ Be Intentional

Consider your messy middle. Ask God to

replace your fears with an increased trust in both His sovereignty and His goodness.

Jen Allee is an author and speaker who believes a strong faith

is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

jenallee.com

160 Pages • Paperback 9781684345274 $17.99 This book is a six-week Bible study for anyone who longs to step out and accomplish great things for God. Author and pastor Joy Sherman takes readers on a journey through six biblical stories to discover how just one small action resulted in amazing moves of God. Where will one small step take you when you put your faith in God?

174 pages • Paperback 9781684343355 • $16.99 This six-week study from the Book of John takes you on an in-depth exploration into the lives of six women Jesus knew. In her warm, conversational style, Rachael Groll ties together her life experience, knowledge of the Scriptures, and her compassion for women to encourage us and enable us to become the women God has called us to be.

Click on the above QR codes for more information, and visit us online for more titles at warnerpress.org.

179 pages • Paperback 9781684345205 • $17.99 In this six-week Bible study by author Jane Glenchur, you’ll discover how to find God’s wisdom and will through prayer. Whether you’re in a spiritual desert, an oasis, or somewhere in between, God has hidden treasures that are waiting to be uncovered through the gift of prayer.

256 pages • Hardback 9781684345809 • $18.99 In this thought-provoking book based on decades of her own self-examination and discovery, Ann Smith poses 125 questions about everyday life and faith. Presented to the reader along with lovely, muted, Japanese-style illustrations that encourage peaceful, thoughtful reflection. The cover of this beautiful, keepsake book contains gold foil accents as a finishing touch, making it a perfect gift for family and friends.

FAITH AT WORK

Restorative Rest in Christ by Danielle Thomas

or a column focused on living out our faith in our work, it might seem a bit funny that I’m talking about rest. As I’m sure many of you have experienced, it’s important to consider that work is not all about output and productivity, but also about understanding when you need a break. In our relationship between faith and work, it’s deeply valuable to consider what the Bible has to say about how resting is a necessary, restorative part of our walk with Christ.

Follow God’s Example

Let’s start at the very beginning: What did God do on the seventh day? He rested, as Gen. 2:2 tells us. But God didn’t rest because He had to rest; He rested because He was finished creating the world. For Him in His omnipotence, rest is unnecessary, but as humans, we can’t survive without it. Similarly in our jobs, if we strive continuously, work hard constantly, and push ourselves with no respite, we will burn ourselves out mentally and physically. If the core goal for us as believers is to be more like Jesus, we should remember that our Savior also rested from His redemptive work on Earth. In Matthew 8, Jesus even falls asleep on a boat with the disciples during the middle of a storm—then reprimands them for their lack of faith after calming the storm. Because He was fully God and fully man, Jesus needed physical, mental, and spiritual rest, and He modeled this to those around Him. In choosing to take time for rest and trusting that Jesus’ plan doesn’t depend on our striving, we can follow His example.

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Benefit From Rest

Quite simply, God designed us to need rest, and He wants us to benefit from resting. Not only is the Sabbath a holy day intended for time spent with the Lord, but it’s also designed for replenishing our strength so that we can work during the week. In Ex. 34:21, the Israelites receive this commandment from God through Moses: “You shall work six days, but on

the seventh day you shall rest; even during plowing time and harvest you shall rest.” Even during the busiest times, God instructs us to take deliberate time to recharge. Perhaps we should consider the same for our most demanding times at work—rest is certainly needed after a stressful or intense period, but it also can be a vital factor to keep us going. In a world defined by hustle culture, self-promotion, and materialism, intentional rest can seem lazy and unmotivated. Yet the Bible confirms for us that rest is both a requirement and a blessing. • Jeremiah 31:25 tells us that the Lord will “refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.” • Isaiah 40:31 encourages us that when we hope in God, our strength will be replenished, we will “soar on wings like eagles,” “run and not grow weary,” “walk and not be faint.” When we trust God’s provision and plan, and work with the right mindset—which is to honor and glorify Him—He will reward us with the rest we need.

Rest in Him

True rest can only be found in a relationship with Jesus, and we can enjoy this soul rest by spending time with Him through prayer, reading our Bibles, and worshipping Him. One of the most beautiful Psalms, Psalm 23, reminds us that our Good Shepherd takes care of our every need: “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul” (vs. 2-3a). When work is tough and we struggle to find time to rest, the best break we can take is to rest in Jesus. He will restore our bodies, minds, and hearts, just as He has promised.

Danielle Thomas works in corporate communications for

a national telecoms company in the UK. She lives with her British husband, Caleb, and her Cavapoo puppy. She enjoys hiking, exploring the countryside, and learning UK history.

thethomases2020@gmail.com

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

God is Sovereign

by Ashley N. Thomas

hen our circumstances are everchanging, and often beyond our control, it can be difficult to remember that there is a God who is consistent and over all. Since the beginning of time, humankind has attempted to control and manipulate outcomes. Yet, the great leaders of our faith showed us that it is through prayer, repentance, and God’s grace that we can surrender to His will and trust in His name no matter what comes our way. Fear, uncertainty, and frustration with the state of our world can all too often keep us from walking outside our front door. Yet, one truth remains: God is sovereign. He is the beginning and the end and holds all things in between. In the beginning God provided us with Eden; but the good news is the story isn’t over. Brokenness is part of the story, but it doesn’t derail God’s purpose and plan. Because God is sovereign, we can:

Trust His Name. You can do a quick google search and print a list of all the names of God. Some of my favorites are:

El Shaddai: All Sufficient One Elohim: Creator God El Roi: The God Who Sees

Knowing God’s names helps remind us of what is true of Him, and who He is in every circumstance of life. He never leaves us, nor forsakes us.

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Trust His Word. When you find yourself in trouble,

who or what do you turn to first? One way you can determine this is your peace level. Are you anxious, afraid, or numb? Are you tossed to and fro with the latest news reel? It becomes so easy to mindlessly scroll through social media and absorb any and all opinions. Yet, those don’t bring hope or peace. Only God’s Word provides comfort, peace, and the proper perspective. His truth transforms and empowers us to live this life well.

Trust His Purpose. He is the God of the beginning

and the end. He has written the best story, and it has your best interest at heart. When we believe this, we can trust that He wastes no thing and is doing His part to restore and redeem all things. He has a purpose for each of our lives, and it all falls inside the greatest story ever written. Much of what I find myself wrestling with when it comes to this concept is the “gray,” the space in between that doesn’t clearly or perfectly fit into boxes. The Gospel is a mystery, our Father knows us, and gives us the opportunity to know Him and yet, He is still so much more than we can begin to fathom. His ways are both/and. They are full of discipline and mercy. He holds the tension of knowing what is best for us and wanting what is best for us. He is grace and truth. He is judge and savior. He is good, faithful, and loving. He’s making a way for us to get back to the Garden. As we join Him in stepping outside of our front door that process includes: Discipline: remaining rooted in His truth, having self-control, and Spirit-filled living. Repentance: as we confess our sins, it ought to lead to a posture shift—living in a new way. New Life: we are made new because of Christ’s sacrifice. We have been bought with a price and brought into a right relationship with the Father. Someday we will step into the New Eden. There will be no death, no tears, no worries. Until then, He has called you to join Him in His redemptive work. As you do, you can always trust His name, you can always trust His Word, and you can always trust His purpose. God is Sovereign.

Ashley N. Thomas is the executive director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys teaching, writing, learning, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved. She is a wife, mom to a toddler, and has a fur baby.

fromsmashtoash.com

LIVING WELL

Finer Points of Failure by Gail Goolsby

’ve tried strategies before, and nothing works with my mother,” said my young adult client. “I don’t know what went wrong in our marriage,” said the newly divorced woman.

Disaster. Flop. Disappointment. Fiasco. Ruin. Failure.

It Happens to Everyone

Believing that everyone falls short of success at some time in their life doesn’t ease the fear of failure. Current data reveals most of the younger generations exhibit prevailing patterns of anxiety and depression. They are afraid to drive, afraid to make a live phone call, afraid to interview for a job. Older generations also show a fear of failure but in much smaller percentages.

Gain from the Pain

Life has taught me that failures are not the end of the story. There is always a lesson—always. If we want to learn, we can move forward with more wisdom, more gratitude, more empathy, more confidence, more freedom. If we try to dismiss our failures, we’ll keep stumbling over the same stone embedded in our paths. Instead, we should own the stone, step onto it, and use it to get a better view of the road. Otherwise, our fall gains nothing more than a face full of dust.

As Christ-followers, we hope that our relationship with God, having access to the wisdom of His Word, and the constant guidance of the Holy Spirit will guarantee no failures. Instead, we wonder why God allows failure.

We need to sit with the failure for a period, pray, and seek a godly friend or counselor to sort through our part of the crisis. It takes high-level vulnerability to be open to what our blind spots might be, and our contribution to the problem.

By the time I moved to Afghanistan in 2005 to serve as the founding principal of the K-12 International School of Kabul (ISK), I had traveled but never lived overseas. I had never been a principal before. It was a huge risk on several levels, and I made many mistakes during those years.

It is by God’s design that healing from failure is an inside-out, mysterious work. We manage our words, behaviors, and attitude changes through the heart (Lk. 6:45; Matt. 12:34). As we reflect, forgiveness plays a key role: identifying the hurts against us and by us, including forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness unlocks our heart to change, to line up with the righteousness God desires and His ability to come alongside our recovery.

I was “asked to leave” by my second boss as a result of intense challenges and the drastic clash of our personalities and leadership styles became evident. This was a traumatic ending to my overseas experience.

We can move forward through failure, gain from the pain, and rise to new levels of Christlikeness through reflection, forgiveness, and determination. This moves failure to success, showcasing our faith, earning valuable experience for future ministry, and living life well.

Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd, ACC is an author, speaker, ICF-certified life coach, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. She is a mom, grandma, and lives in south central Kansas with her pastor-husband.

gailgoolsby.com

ȷustbetweenus winter 2024

I felt set up by God. I left my home, career, three semi-launched young adult children, friends, and a comfortable American life to live in glaringly opposite circumstances. And this was how the story ended? Sent home in shame?

Many historical greats have talked about the importance of not quitting in the face of failure. Jesus gave us the ultimate example when He took the seeming failure of the cross and rose again.

EVERYDAY TRANSFORMATION

When the Holidays Are Hard

by Laura Sandretti

or some people, the holidays can be a joyful and wonderful season, but for others they can be incredibly difficult. For some of us, the mere thought of talking to certain family members over Thanksgiving dinner makes us start to sweat. For others, the holidays can be painful reminders of loved ones we’ve lost. If you’re like me, the shorter, darker days of winter often impact your mental health negatively. Compounding all of this with feelings of guilt and shame, and we are unable to enjoy what should be a joyful time. How do we navigate through the tough parts of the holidays? What can we intentionally do with our joyless emotions and struggles? Paul was no stranger to hardship. In his letter to the Philippians, he provides some practical ways to navigate the difficult seasons of life.

Look to the Lord

Paul acknowledged in Philippians 3 how hard life can be. However, he goes on to remind us that we can still experience joy by remembering that the Lord is near (4:4-5). Although we know God is always with us, how do we feel His nearness when we’re hurting? Something that’s helped me is reciting Scripture when I least feel like it. Looking for the Lord by repeating a verse like, “His compassions never fail. They are new every morning” (Lam. 3:22-23), reminds me that the Lord is not only near, but that He cares about my long to-do list and that painful conversation I can’t seem to stop thinking about. His Word also gives us hope that can prevent our pain from evolving into despair.

ȷustbetweenus winter 2024

Give Thanks

Did you know that studies show that gratitude and fear cannot coexist in the brain together? When I’m worried or upset, giving thanks as Paul exhorts in Philippians 4:6 helps calm me down. Although my natural inclination isn’t to give thanks when I’m anxious or distressed, doing so reorients my heart and mind in supernatural, Spirit-led ways. Even

expressing gratitude for simple things can improve my mood.

Humbly Ask for Help

I often think I need to fake joy or peace until I feel them, but Philippians 4:6 offers another solution. Paul reminds us that the Lord wants us to simply come to Him when we’re struggling. Asking God to help me love that difficult relative or calm my nerves before going out has given me more peace than trying to muster up a smile or act calm when I’m not.

Trust the Truth

Philippians 4:7 says that when you ask for help and give thanks amid your fears and challenges, “God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand” (CEV). I admittedly don’t always feel the peace even after asking God for it. Years ago, I prayed through Philippians 4:6-7 during a particularly awful panic attack, but I didn’t feel any immediate relief. However, the longer I’ve asked for and experienced God’s help, the easier it is to return to Him. The more I remind myself that Christ’s love isn’t conditional (Titus 3:5), the safer He feels. As I repeatedly look for the Lord by repeating Scripture that affirms He’s on my side (Ps. 118:6; Rom. 8:31), the easier it is to trust that God’s peace is guarding my heart and mind when I ask—whether I see, feel, or even fully believe it. What do we do when the holidays are hard? Intentionally reading and ruminating on Bible passages like Philippians 4 can help. As we continuously wrestle with and learn to trust Christ and His Word more, we can experience His compassion and faithfulness in new and deeper ways. As we do, we will trust His love and protection that casts out all fear (I John 4:18) and in turn experience more authentic peace and joy all year long.

Laura Sandretti, MATS, is an author, faith coach, and active

conference and retreat speaker. She is a former high school teacher who uses humor and real-life examples to challenge women to think more deeply about what they believe about God, the Bible, and themselves because of the cross of Christ. Laura has four adult children, and has been married for 30 years. (See ad for her recent book on page 37.)

laurasandretti.com G facebook.com/laurasandrettiblog Ö twitter.com/laurasandrettiblog

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