Just Between Us | Winter 2023 by Just Between Us

A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way by Becky Keife

THRIVING WHILE CARING FOR KIDS & AGING PARENTS

e d u it at r G

Can Change Your Life!

THE DEVOTIONAL THAT SHAPED MY FAITH

FIND A WORD FOR YOUR COMING YEAR

by Lisa Elliott

YOU CAN DISCOVER JOY IN LIFE’S THORNS

winter 2023 | F I N D M O R E A T J U S T B E T W E E N U S . O R G

Shadowlands Grief Recovery Program

Based on God’s Model of grieving, the study includes scripture, coping skills, and research data to lead those who grieve through their valley of grief and sadness. • Personal Grief Recovery: For all types of grief events - meets weekly for six weeks via Zoom • Small Group Ministry Training: Custom designed for Clergy, Chaplains, Ministerial Staff • Church Licensing: Churches or organizations granted use of materials for ongoing ministry With over 25 years of ministry experience, the copyrighted curriculum, compiled by Sharon Fox, a Certified Grief Facilitator by the American Academy of Bereavement, presents a Christian Biblical Pattern of Grief Recovery. Contact: www.Bravepenny.org or SharonBravePenny@gmail.com

welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

Welcome Friends! How can we be nearing the end of another year and on the brink of a new one? It doesn’t seem possible. We can’t tell you how glad we are that you’ve taken time out of your busy schedules to spend time with us! When I think of Just Between Us, I think of it as a gathering place for women like you to be encouraged, equipped, and connected with each other. I hope you feel that way, too. Within these pages, you will find all kinds of hope and encouragement connecting you to God’s heart and a community of sisters who are rooting for you. Know that every word, quote, article, story, and Scripture has been prayed over with you in mind. We hope when you open your mailbox and find JBU waiting for you, it is a powerful reminder of how much God loves you and longs to encourage you in this faith journey. No matter what season you’re in, know that God is for you and with you, and is always a prayer away.

First, instead of having an expensive outer cover to announce our special Christmas $10 gift offer, you can find it on page 6. The details for placing your online orders are there. We don’t want you to miss out on this great gift for your friends, family, coworkers, and ministry team—what better way to encourage them throughout the year than with a half-price gift subscription! Second, we will be transitioning to practices that move us into renewing online and automatic renewals. These steps will save us thousands of dollars and allow us to keep JBU at a reasonable price. Thank you for always being willing to help. We are so grateful for you. We want to continue putting JBU in your hands, so thank you for understanding. It would be such an encouragement to us if you could help us in these ways. Now, grab your favorite holiday drink, plan on staying a while, and let the sights and sounds of the season fill your heart with gratitude for all God has done for you and the gift of His Son. What joy! Holiday Blessings from the JBU Team,

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After you linger over the pages, may you leave feeling seen, loved, encouraged, and having had an encounter with the living Lord Jesus! You’ll find the biggest celebrations of the year covered: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years! May God use the stories and articles to encourage and inspire your heart where you need it. And as you enter this holiday season, it’s our prayer that throughout all the busyness and expectations, you’ll take a pause and let God refuel and refocus you for the days ahead—keeping your eyes on what really matters throughout the season—Jesus.

More than at any other time of the year, we are entering a season of giving, so we’re providing you with the opportunity to give a gift to JBU in some practical ways. Because we know how much you love receiving the print issues, we want to keep it that way, so we’re asking for help as we move ahead with some changes in the coming months to help offset the rising costs of postage and printing. Here’s how you can help us:

Contents

V O L U M E

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W I N T E R

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on the cover

How a simple thank-you list can change everything. by Lisa Elliott

Open your eyes to ways you can help others. by Becky Keife

You’re not alone as you care for kids and aging parents. by Catriona Futter

The Gratitude Impact

How a devotional shaped my faith. by Shelly Esser

One simple word can make all the difference. by Grace P. Cho

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A Companion for the Journey

Simple Holiday Kindness

Finding Your Word for the Year

The Sandwich Years

The Joy of Thorns

An invitation to receive grace and strength in your time of need. by Sandy Mayle

About Our Ministry: Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-for-profit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heart-focused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini magazine, on social media, and other products—all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Find Us in All Kinds of Ways:

T F I justbetweenus.org

Comforting the Hurting When the Holidays Hurt Practical ways you can walk alongside someone in grief. by Lisa Elliott

11 Transparent Moments columns

38 Intentional Faith 40 Faith at Work Minutes 41 15in the Word Outside Your 42 Front Door 44 Living Well

46 for subscriptions

Renewal Assistants Wayne + Sally Schlittenhart

Director Digital Media Mary Ann Prasser

Marketing Julie Santiago

Editorial Assistants Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Cherry Hoffner Danae Templeton

Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt

Creative Director Julie Krinke

Subscriptions Phil Perso Mary Richards Jan Schuldt Lin Sebena

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

Prayer Sharon Stonecipher Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com. Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through Just Between Us. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. ust Between Us is a member publication J of the Evangelical Press Association. Copyright ©2023 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA. We occasionally share subscriber mailing addresses with select organizations. If you would like your name removed from direct mail promotional lists, please call 800-260-3342 or email jbu@justbetweenus.org.

PRESS A S

award-winning • E

magazine

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call toll-free 800-260-3342 or visit our website justbetweenus.org From Canada call 262-786-6478

Everyday Transformation

Renewals Manager & Software Support Rebecca Loesche

Assistant Editor Suzan Braun

•

No matter what challenges come with this season, God’s love story brings rejoicing! by Sharon Vaught

9 10 Table Talk with Abby

General Manager Mary Perso

Christmas JOY

Encouraging WORDS

Advertising & Accounts Manager Sharon Vaught

Editor Shelly Esser

The JBU staff talk about juggling it all through the seasons of life. by Ann M. Cook

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

faith chats: Balancing Act

3 Welcome from the Editor 7 Between Us 8 Happy Home

Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

in every issue

EVA

features

CREDITS

PRESS AS

Give the gift that encourages and equips all year long… SPECIAL PRICE

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FOR NEW GIFT SUBSCRIPTIONS*

Get an early start on your Christmas shopping! Encourage your friends with a gift subscription to Just Between Us magazine. Each full-color issue is packed with inspiration, biblical encouragement, and support for the women in your life who want to grow in their relationship with Jesus. Give this wonderful gift to as many friends as you like—no limit! Before long, your friends will be enjoying their first issue.

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Due to skyrocketing costs for printing and postage, please place your order online — it’s simple, fast, and secure!

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BETWEEN US

Five Things to Remember in Relationship Conflict

Lysa TerKeurst

ver feel like relationships are hard to navigate? Do you find yourself trying to figure out situations that are complicated, messy, and unpredictable?

I want to find the right words to get to the other side of the conflict, but that isn’t always possible. Sometimes conversations start running in a circle, and there aren’t any productive words left to say. I’ve learned to spend time getting quiet before the Lord. Taking a step back from all the emotion, frustration, and exhaustion to sit with Jesus will do more to untangle a mess than anything else I’ve ever found. If you find yourself in a tough relationship situation today, here are five things that can help: 1. We can feel safe enough to humble ourselves. In a mess, the last thing I want to do is get humble. I want to overexplain and prove my point, but I’m learning that I have to stop fighting and humbly ask God to speak truth to my heart for things to make sense. Never have I had a relationship issue where I didn’t contribute at least something to the problem. Usually, I can only see this something in the quiet. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand …” (1 Pet. 5:6a). 2. God will lift us to a more rational place. When we are in the heat of a tangled relationship, crazy emotions can drag us down into a pit of hopelessness. The only way out of the pit is to stop digging deeper and turn to God for a solution, “… that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Pet. 5:6b).

4. Our real enemy isn’t the person with whom we’re in conflict. The truth is, we have an enemy, and it’s not each other. Satan’s influence on me and the person offending me is the real culprit. In the quiet, I become alert and develop a strategy for acting

“Taking a step back from all the emotion, frustration, and exhaustion to sit with Jesus will do more to untangle a mess than anything else I’ve ever found.”

5. God will use this conflict for good—no matter how it turns out. If I make the effort to handle this conflict well, I can be freed from the pressure to make everything turn out rosy. Sometimes relationships grow stronger through conflict, but other times relationships end. Because I can’t control the other person, I must keep focusing on the good God is working out in me and leave the outcome with Him. “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast” (1 Pet. 5:10). In the end, this struggle can be used by God to make me stronger and more capable in my relationships. If I am humble enough to receive from Him in the quiet what He wants to teach me, I can rest assured with whatever the outcome is.

Lysa TerKeurst is the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

and a #1 New York Times’ bestselling author. Her newest books are Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are and a new devotional called You’re Going to Make It. She writes from her gray farm table and lives with her family in North Carolina. Connect with her at LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst. LysaTerKeurst.com Ö twitter.com/LysaTerKeurst G facebook.com/Lysa TerKeurst

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3. Anxiety gives way to progress. We can pour our anxious hearts out to Jesus who loves us right where we are. And because His love comes without judgment, we can feel safe enough to admit we need Jesus to work on us. Trying to fix another person will only add to my anxiety. Letting Jesus work on me is where real progress can happen. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7).

and reacting in a more self-controlled manner. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith …” (1 Pet. 5:8-9a).

HAPPY HOME

I’m Not Ready for Company!

Arlene Pellicane

hen I heard that CHAOS could stand for “Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome,” I could relate! I can’t blame my kids for a messy house anymore. My college son is out of the house and my other two kids are high schoolers. They’re not leaving toys, Legos, wrappers, and board books everywhere I step. Don’t get me wrong—they contribute to the piles around the house—but I must accept blame too. I’m no HGTV Network devotee. My go-to meal has three ingredients. I’m not making a fancy sauce or figuring out how to use an Instant Pot. You won’t catch me doing linens on Monday, mopping on Wednesdays, and cleaning the blinds every other Friday. Years ago, my husband James, alarmed at a foreign sound, yelled from upstairs, “What’s that noise?” “I’m cleaning the blinds,” I yelled back. He was speechless and finally said, “We’ve been married for so many years; I’ve never heard you clean the blinds!” James has been known to snap and declare, “Everyone straighten up as if company was coming!” even when no one was coming over. I have a few strengths but cleaning the house is not one of them.

More Important than Tidying

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Maybe you can relate to being stressed about keeping your home neat, especially during the holiday season. Your heart might beat a little faster just thinking about entertaining company.

Take a slow, deep breath, friend. Yes, it’s important to make our homes as presentable as possible, but there is something more important than what meets the eye. You may have a vacuumed carpet, beautiful wall art, and seasonal decor, but if you are tense, exhausted, or worried, the externals don’t matter as much.

Treat Your Family Like You Treat Guests

We naturally put our best foot forward with guests. We’re courteous, pleasant, and kind to those who visit our homes, even when we feel grumpy or tired. Do we display this same graciousness to our family members? To our husbands?

What if you’ve had a hard day and you’re the one in need of comfort? I’ve had bad mornings and still managed to smile in a Zoom meeting. We can pay the same respect to our spouses that we give to others. You might say, “I want to be real with my spouse.” You can commiserate together about a bad day, but then transition to speaking words of life. Why allow that bad day to ruin your evening, too? Proverbs 21:9 says, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” The writer would rather live exposed to the harsh elements than in a comfortable house with a sour, scolding woman. No external conveniences can replace the desire and need for invisible peace.

God at the Heart

John Fuller, host of Focus on the Family and father of six, says, “A spick-and-span home and a wife who’s on top of everything may be secondary to more important things like: What’s the tone of the home? What’s the character that we’re working on? What’s the sense of the Holy Spirit’s presence here? I don’t want to be in a pristine home that doesn’t have God at the heart of it.” What a beautiful reminder of what’s important in a home and marriage. The invisible calm we bring can make a huge difference in the lives of our families. A reservoir of joy even after a trying day is possible because of Jesus Christ. You and I will still need to tidy up our homes for company and ourselves, but let’s be reminded that a clean home isn’t our top priority— and thank God for that! Peace can’t be seen physically, but it’s felt in every room where it’s present. A warm and inviting home starts from the inside out.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home

podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children. arlenepellicane.com G facebook.com/ArlenePellicaneAuthor Ö twitter.com/ArlenePellicane e ArlenePellicane

encouraging WORDS

“A joyful life begins with a deep appreciation of God’s love.” “So much of joy in life depends on how we see things… It seems that regardless of our circumstances, joy comes to those who look for it.” BARBARA JOHNSON

; y all u n ti on c y a r p s; , “Be joyful alwayall es c an st m u c r i c give thanks in s God’s will for this i .” s u es J st i r Ch in for you

J Y

1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

IS THE SUREST SIGN OF GOD’S PRESENCE IN THE SOUL. MOTHER TERESA

for g in k oo l d an t es b o d ou y t a h w .” g y o j in o f o D y “ a w e t a g the s n e p o rs e h ot e v r ways to se MOTHER TERESA

“Life is a happy thing, a festival to be enjoyed rather than a drudgery to be endured.” LUCI SWINDOLL

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“A JOYFUL SERVANT OF GOD IS A NET TO CATCH SOULS FOR GOD.”

TABLE TALK WITH ABBY

The Season of Hospitality

Abby Turner Kuykendall

s the chilly winds of winter draw near and the days grow shorter, many of us find ourselves cooped up inside our homes, seeking warmth and comfort. While this hibernation period might evoke feelings of restlessness and isolation, one thing can change our outlook and bring joy to those who experience it—biblical hospitality. In today’s fast-paced world, hospitality often takes a backseat to our busy schedules and digital distractions. The holiday season, marked by “Friendsgiving,” Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, and Dia de los Reyes (Epiphany or Three Kings Day), provides the perfect opportunity to open your homes to others and practice this enriching spiritual discipline. The Bible is laced with stories highlighting the importance of welcoming others into our homes. From Abraham’s generous welcome of strangers, to the Shunammite woman’s hospitality to Elisha, and to the early church’s practice of sharing meals, biblical hospitality is deeply woven into the fabric of God’s love story for us. What better time of year than the holidays to cultivate this discipline and draw us closer to God? Hospitality is not limited to elaborate feasts and extravagant settings. It is about making others feel valued and cared for, regardless of the circumstances. Instead of rushing through our interactions, we can truly listen to one another. We can create a space where people feel seen, heard, included, and valued. How can you begin practicing hospitality this season?

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• The simplicity of Friendsgiving makes it a perfect entry point for those who might feel intimidated by hosting larger gatherings.

• As we come together for Thanksgiving, we can extend a warm invitation to those who may not have a place to celebrate. Inviting someone without family nearby or opening our doors to a newcomer in the community reflects the spirit of biblical hospitality, where love and generosity know no bounds. • By hosting a Christmas gathering, be it a simple potluck or an elaborate dinner, we can create a space for fostering connections and building a sense of belonging in a world that often feels divided.

• Hosting a New Year’s Eve party provides an opportunity to forge deeper connections with friends and family, setting the tone for a year filled with love, compassion, and openness. • Embracing Dia de los Reyes as the culmination of the holiday season brings families together across cultural barriers to create cherished memories and strengthen their bonds. This time of year often tempts us to withdraw from the world and focus solely on ourselves. In the hustle and bustle of the season, it can be easy to forget the importance of sharing an intentional moment around the table. The focus is not on perfection, but on creating a space where people feel welcomed, loved, and valued. Embracing hospitality nurtures an intimacy with the King of Kings that can extend far beyond the holiday season. From Friendsgiving to Dia de los Reyes, each holiday offers a unique opportunity for people to open their homes and hearts. It’s a time of warmth, gratitude, and togetherness—the perfect backdrop for practicing the enriching discipline of hospitality. As we extend lovingkindness to others, we discover that the true essence of hospitality lies not in lavish dinner parties, but in the joy of shared connections and meaningful conversations that draw us closer to Christ. This intentional act allows us to see the intimate relationship Jesus desires when He meets us at the table. So, embrace this season and invite Jesus to meet you around the table.

Abby Turner Kuykendall is the author of The Living

Table, is loving life as a newlywed, and is working full time as a food blogger, speaker, and writer. Born into a large family, she grew up in Central Arkansas, where she learned the importance of community and biblical hospitality at a young age. Abby’s passion is to encourage women to stop wasting time waiting for the perfect family, house, or table, and to start opening their homes, cooking for friends, and building community. You can learn more about Abby and enjoy her recipes by visiting her website at atabletopaffair.com. G facebook.com/atabletopaffair w pinterest.com/atabletopaffair e instagram.com/atabletopaffair

TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

Overflowing Momentum

Anita Carman

hen you think about your life, do you think of it in pieces or do you look at it as a whole? Do you recognize how the pieces of your life fit together into a whole story? How can we find renewed courage to keep going when we’re afraid of what the next chapter might bring? This was on my mind when God led me to John 7:37-39 which reads: “On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘Let anyone who is thirsty, come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.’” By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive. Don’t miss the significance of when God showed up and what He said. The festival, chapter seven refers to, is the Feast of Tabernacles. More specifically, it referred to the last and greatest day of the feast. If we miss the timing of what God is saying to us, we may be responding to events as an independent event and totally miss that we are part of a bigger story.

their only source of living water. It is on this last day of the feast—when all water rituals stopped—that Jesus stood up and declared that He was the source of living water.

“…we may be responding to events as an independent event and totally miss that we are part of a bigger story.” Do you see the significance? God was continuing a story He had begun telling when His chosen people were wandering in the desert for forty years. The stage was set for Jesus to appear and announce that He alone is the source of living water in our lives.

The duration of the Feast of Tabernacles was eight days. The purpose of the feast was for the Jewish people to remember the 40 years of wandering in the desert when they did not have the courage to enter the Promised Land. As part of the rituals, the people built temporary booths to remind them of the time when they were in transition and lost all their anchors. This was the time God used to develop their dependence on Him. The feast also included the ritual of priests drawing water from the pool of Siloam. This ritual took place every day for the first seven days of the feast when the priests marched towards the temple and then poured the water onto the sacrifice on the altar in the temple.

Be Part of the Bigger Story

The Real Living Water

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a nonprofit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at

inspirewomen.org.

(Anita Carman’s signature curriculum, being taught through Inspire Women’s Leadership Academy, offers an online option to teach women how to make decisions fitting for one who is the King’s daughter. To enroll, please email info@ inspirewomen.org.)

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The water was known as “living water” because it came from a natural source and symbolized the cleansing of sin to purify us and to renew our walk with God. On the eighth day of the Feast of Tabernacles, also known as the “greatest day of the feast”— all water rituals stopped. They did this to turn the focus of the people to their dependence on God as

Talk about dramatic timing and effect. Knowing God as a great storyteller, what drama is currently unfolding in your life that is taking place within a bigger story that God has been telling throughout your life? It’s easy to get confused if we don’t connect what God is saying today with what He has already been working in our lives many years before. What are you experiencing that is part of a bigger story God is unfolding? How will remembering God is the author and finisher of our stories refuel us and renew us with His divine overflowing momentum?

THE

GRATITUDE

IMPACT

y attitude was slipping, and I knew it.

Somewhere along the way I had begun to focus on the negative rather than the positive and what I didn’t have rather than what I did have. As a result, all I could see was how lacking I was, rather than how blessed I was.

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My negative attitude and I had become good friends— too good. Our gripe sessions fueled our friendship. And misery did, in fact, find good company. One day, after too many cups of tea at my self-absorbed pity party, I knew it was time to have an attitude check.

A friend of mine seemed to have the right idea. She had been posting a Thankful List on her Facebook page every day for about a year. Maybe it was time to follow suit.

The Thankful List I began posting my own daily Thankful List, listing five things I was thankful for. I had considered keeping it tucked away in my own prayer journal. However, I felt that going public with it would keep me intentional and hold me accountable.

How a simple thank-you list can change everything. by Lisa Elliott

I kept my lists simple. I kept them honest. And, most importantly, I kept them God-centered. He was, after all, the One to whom I was thankful! I entered my days proclaiming His love in the morning and His faithfulness at night (Ps. 92:2). Day by day I awoke anticipating the Lord to show up. And He did! Watching for His blessings gave me something to consciously think about throughout my days. Sometimes He gave me little things that may or may not matter to anyone else, like sunshine on my walking path. Other times He made a more noticeable appearance, inviting me into a meaningful conversation with a friend or offering me a ministry opportunity. Whether big or small, each day, He gave me things to be grateful for. It didn’t take long before sorrow and sighing fled, overcome by gladness and joy (Isa. 51:11b). Cultivating a grateful heart actually cultivated joy. Who knew?

Before I knew it, my Thankful List drew a crowd. It was a double blessing to think that others were being ministered to and encouraged by my newfound attitude of gratitude. Some were even inspired to begin their own. Maybe you are, too? If so, here are a few things I discovered along the way that might help:

1. Fix your eyes on Jesus. Hebrews 12:2 instructs us to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. By setting joy before Him, Jesus was able to endure the cross. Looking to Jesus and His example also helps us set joy before us which will, in turn, help us keep our eyes off our woe-is-me attitude as we run the race with endurance. 2. Set your mind on things above. The apostle Paul exhorts us to set our minds on things above, in other words, to consider things that will matter for eternity (Col. 3:2). He goes on to tell us how to do this in Phil. 4:8: think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. When we see things from a heavenly vantage point, our perspective is renewed, our peace is restored, and our selfish attitude is replaced with His humble attitude (Phil. 2:5). 3. Reflect on God’s faithfulness. If you’re in a hard place and find it challenging to be thankful, take some time to look back and see the thread of God’s faithfulness. Lamentations 3:19-23 says: I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. As we reflect on all God has done in our lives, we are more apt to find hope for our future. Great is His faithfulness.

MY THANKFUL LIST Why don’t you come up with your own reasons to be thankful today.

4. Enter your day with thanksgiving in your heart. We are to enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise (Ps. 100:4). Therefore, don’t wait until the end of your day before you thank God for all that He has done and is doing. Rather, begin your day with an attitude of gratitude, anticipating God to show up in personal ways. No doubt it will lift your spirits, encourage your heart, and give you a meaningful and purposeful focus throughout your day. 5. Go public. Let a few friends know what you’re thankful for. Take it a step further and post it on social media. Declare God’s goodness in your life to those around you. I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, LORD, as you know. I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help. I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly (Ps. 40:9-10). Ultimately, thankfulness doesn’t mean anything unless it’s geared toward the One from whom all blessings flow. So, let’s direct our praise to the One who is worthy of it. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father” (Jas. 1:17). He is the Giver of all good things (1 Pet. 5:10). He is a heavenly Father who delights in giving good gifts to His children (Matt. 7:11). Being thankful for what He’s given us is God’s will for our lives (2 Thess. 5:18). Therefore, let’s direct our praise to the One who is worthy of it. Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s (Ps. 103:1-5).

Lisa Elliott is a speaker and award-

winning author of The Ben Ripple and Dancing in the Rain. Her latest book is A Ministry Survival Guide. She and her pastorhusband, David, live in Ottawa, Ontario. They have four adult children (one in heaven), a son-in-law, a daughter-in-law, and four grandchildren.

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It can be too easy to settle into a negative attitude and host continual pity parties alongside our other holiday events. Instead of focusing on the negative, will you join me in noticing our many blessings? Making your own Thankful List can open your eyes and shift your focus not only to the good gifts in your life, but to the God who gave them.

A Bible for men that’s focused on godly character and faithful living. Rooted: The NIV Bible for Men strives to help you connect with your identity in Christ as it highlights timeless virtues that are still valued today. If you are struggling to find your place as a Christian, it helps to remember that while the expectations of the world seem ever-changing, the expectations that God has for you hold true.

Amazon.com/flourishandrooted

A Bible for women that helps you see yourself as God sees you. Flourish: The NIV Bible for Women is about becoming who you are in Christ through your relationship with him. Drawing on the truths of Scripture, the features in this Bible will strengthen you with insights and encouragement for the issues you face.

HOLI E L D P

Kindness ȷustbetweenus winter 2023

es t

o w ays you ca by Becky Keife

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hile twinkle lights and Christmas music make this time of year all merry and bright, the holiday season can also feel stressful and chaotic. Busy schedules, high expectations, and pain from the past can fill us with more holiday frazzle than festive joy. When this happens, it’s easy to retreat inward. It’s easy to become so preoccupied with our own calendars and to-do’s that we forget to turn our gaze outward and really see the people in front of us. So how do we resist the holiday hustle and remain intentional? How do we anchor ourselves to the true reason of Christmas in order to experience and share the love of Jesus?

One simple act of kindness at a time. The simple difference says, I will put on a posture of kindness. I will look for ordinary ways to be the blessing in someone’s day. I will notice others, encourage generously, and serve joyfully out of the abundance of God’s loving grace. Our small offerings of love, kindness, and encouragement can truly be the differencemaker in someone’s day! So, let’s spread the love of Christ, right where we are and as we go on our way each day.

Try These 20 Simple Ideas of Intentional Holiday Kindness someone go ahead 1 Lofetyou in line at a store.

2 greeting card to

Send a “just because” brighten someone’s day.

olunteer to wrap a 3 Vbusy friend’s Christmas presents.

4 5

Put a basket of drinks and snacks on your porch to thank delivery workers.

ick up the phone P and call the person on your heart.

it and make space for 6 Ssomeone’s pain or grief, acknowledging that holidays can be hard.

efore you head out to 7 Bthe store, ask a neighbor

a service worker 14 Linook the eye and tell

ffer your time to 8 Obabysit to give a parent

a homeless person 15 Ga ive gift certificate.

if you can pick up anything for them.

a breather.

9 ake a batch of 10 Mfreezer meals and

Compliment a stranger.

give them away.

snow for 11 Shovel a neighbor. mile when others 12 Sare angry, panicked, anxious, or rushed.

ush stray shopping 13 Pcarts back into the store.

olunteer to sing 16 VChristmas carols or

read holiday stories at a nursing home.

nvite someone to dinner 17 Iwho might be lonely or missing their family.

ffer to fold a friend’s 18 Olaundry or do the dishes. sk how someone is 19 Adoing and really listen. ell a family member 20 Twhy you love them.

Just think what an impact we all could make if we lived with this posture each and every day.

Becky Keife is the community manager for DaySpring’s (in)courage, a popular speaker, and the author of Courageous Kindness and No Better Mom for the Job. She and her husband live near Los Angeles, where they enjoy hiking sunny trails with their three spirited sons. Learn more at BeckyKeife.com. Reprinted with permission from Everyday Faith magazine winter 2021.

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The simple difference means living with a posture and prayer that says, “Lord, as I go on my way, have Your way with me. Help me to live with my eyes wide open to the people around me. Empower me to be the blessing in someone’s day.”

them you appreciate their help.

faith CHATS

Mary Perso

Shelly Esser

Balancing Act ȷustbetweenus winter 2023

The JBU staff talks about

thriving through the seasons of life. by Ann M. Cook

Suzan Braun

e all yearn for balance, but it can be elusive. Family, jobs, ministry, caretaking, and service are only some of the balls we have in the air—usually all at once! In the JBU archives we found the interview, “The Balancing Act,” written for the summer 2002 issue—21 years ago. It is just as relevant for women today as it was then. We hope you enjoy this updated discussion with JBU’s staff: Mary Perso, Suzan Braun, and Shelly Esser on how they continue to find balance through the seasons of their full lives.

JBU: How would you define balance and what does it look like in your life? Mary: I think of a sense of order. Balance doesn’t

necessarily mean a lack of busyness, but an underlying sense of peace. It’s different in every season of our lives. Jesus’ life, especially His public ministry, certainly doesn’t fit in with our view of balance. He was resolute in hearing and following His Father’s voice—He was radical!

Suzan: A lot of days, I feel like balance is unattainable

for me. When I think about what I perceive balance to be for others in my life, I often think, “She’s really got it together… I’ll never get there.” I have to work hard not to fall into the comparison trap, because I tend to think everyone else is doing much better than me. on the wrong thing. Our world has trained us to expect quick and easy formulas instead of recognizing that the Christian life requires a personal seeking of God’s desires for us as individuals. I don’t think we find balance by seeking balance itself, but by seeking God’s will for our lives. Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” The “things” we need to know for living are promised as we seek Him first, and that includes what we are to do. Throughout my life, what God has had me focusing on has continually shifted. What I focused on last year is different than what I’m doing today—that’s why seeking God’s daily will for our lives is so crucial. Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that, “There is a time for everything.” Something that may work at one point in my life may not work in another season.

Mary: I love being a mom and grandma. Both are high

callings. My husband and I always try to accommodate each other, because we both feel committed to ministry. Phil gave up a lot so I could do the things God called me to. When Phil was asked to be an elder, I pulled out of a lot to allow him the freedom to pursue what he felt God called him to. It’s something we often need to revisit because it’s very easy to become overcommitted. We’re in a different season now being empty nesters. I’ve been able to take on full-time responsibilities with Just Between Us, and my husband is free to be involved in more community ministries than ever before. Our sons all have beautiful families of their own, our time of caring for aging parents has passed, and we are enjoying good health. For however long it lasts, we are thoroughly enjoying this season of life!

Suzan: Ed and I take turns. We both come from

divorced families so prioritizing our family has always been important. Through raising our children, being grandparents, and assisting with our aging parents, we’ve often had to remind each other, “It’s not going to be perfect.” This helps keep expectations realistic, as we’re often pulled in many different directions. I’m nearing seventy, so work, ministry, and family responsibilities take more of a toll on me. Keeping up with our five grandchildren is exhaustingly wonderful. I treasure the opportunities to be an influence in their lives. “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come” (Ps. 71:18).

Shelly: We can’t have it all at the same time! The

trouble comes when we try to cram everything into one season of our lives instead of recognizing that God means for us to postpone certain activities. That doesn’t mean we’ll never get to do those things again, but just not now. This freeing truth hit home for me when my second daughter was in kindergarten. I was struggling to say no to ministry opportunities that I loved, because I could not be all God wanted me to be to my girls if I said yes. While driving home, doing what seemed to be another mundane motherly duty, Megan said, “Mommy, how do you become a Christian?” While I tucked her in bed that night, Megan asked Jesus into her heart. God showed me that the “all” I was seeking was found in that moment. Had I rushed off to things that belonged in another season of my life, I would have missed that eternal moment with my daughter. It all comes back to seeking God’s will for you each day.

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Photo Credit: Wayde Peronto/Babboni Photography

Shelly: Too often, in our pursuit of balance, we focus

JBU: What have you learned through balancing serving, family, and other demands?

JBU: What practical things have you done to maintain balance in your family?

JBU: When do you know you’re out of balance and how do you remedy it?

do this well enough, we got them involved. Working outside the home meant I couldn’t do everything. So, the boys took turns sorting laundry and eventually learned to do their own. They took turns helping me make dinner. (Now, two of our sons are great cooks.) Having a rotating chore list also helped. Getting the kids involved with family responsibilities not only helps lighten the load, but is important for their growth and maturity.

irritable, so I have to figure out what is out of balance. When our kids were little, just having everybody pitch in for 15 minutes to sweep through the downstairs rooms of our home and bring order really helped me. The same holds true today. Now, when everyone is together at our house—adult kids, spouses, and grandkids—and chaos threatens to overwhelm me, having everyone pitch in and work together accomplishes the same thing. And if the family calendar becomes so full that it’s becoming stressful, we cancel things.

Mary: When our kids were still at home, while we didn’t

Suzan: We’ve given our children choices in their

extracurricular activities, but they can’t do everything they want to do. Saying no to some things has been hard, but necessary for all of us. My grandmother once told me, “When you say yes to one thing, you say no to something else,” and I remind my kids of that often.

Shelly: With the arrival of each of my four girls, I had

to let God prune away the activities that I didn’t have to be doing then. What I could do with one child was different than what I could do with two and more. Usually, the first year after a new baby, I pulled back with extra activities. I have always been involved in ministry throughout my kid’s growing up years, but the quantity I could commit to was always changing. Amid all the family demands, it’s also easy to neglect your spouse. The enemy can use the intense years of raising children to weaken your relationship. Especially after we had children, John and I made sure we got away alone together at least one weekend a year, and when our kids were very little and funds were limited, we took up refinishing furniture. After our kids went to bed, we headed to the basement to work on pieces. Every couple needs to find something they enjoy doing together.

d bring y evaluate an tl n a st n o c to “I try Lord, so ies before the it n u rt o p p o ws my vities. He kno ti c a y m t c e ir He can d y.“ d cannot carr what I can an – Shelly

Mary: It shows up at home. I feel agitated, touchy, and

Suzan: I know I’m off balance when my family gets

the worst of me. They are my safe haven and the most available outlets! I also isolate and shut down. Tasks and responsibilities that are normally a regular part of my week can become too much. When these two things start to happen, I try to be gentle on myself, acknowledge that I need to ask for help, and schedule some praise and worship time with the Lord. This refocusing practice helps me to silence the voice of the urgent.

JBU: How do we stay balanced and not just busy?

Mary: The best advice I ever received came from a

pastor who reminded me that Jesus died having not finished everything. There were people left unhealed, left in poverty, and left not knowing Him. If He could say His work was finished while there was so much left undone, we can too. That was a turning point for me and something I’ve never forgotten. One of the clues of being too busy is the feeling of barrenness that comes with it. There can be a lack of joy and feelings of drudgery. Often, my sense of fellowship with the Lord became broken and my relationships with others suffered. One of the benefits of growing older is knowing what God has gifted me in, so I don’t have as much trouble saying no anymore!

Suzan: Realizing that I can’t keep everyone happy

all the time has come with age and experience. As a people-pleaser, I’ve had to learn how to let go of things, realizing that sometimes some of my decisions and choices are going to disappoint others—including my family.

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Shelly: Millie Dienert once said, “Any activity we involve

“I can’t keep everyone happy all the time has been a revelation that has come with age and experience. As a people-pleaser, I’ve had to let go of things, realizing that sometimes my decisions and choices are going to disappoint others—including my family.” – Suzan

ourselves in that is not directed by the Holy Spirit is just a bunch of busyness.” We have to be so careful about busyness because it keeps us from celebrating life and doing those things that are most important. I try to constantly evaluate and bring my opportunities before the Lord, so He can direct my activities. He knows what I can and cannot carry.

JBU: How do we shed our heavy loads to find rest?

Mary: Knowing what gives you joy—what replenishes

you—is vital. When my kids were little, I heard a talk about the importance of keeping their emotional tanks full. This isn’t just important for children, but for all of us! We can’t give to others if we’re depleted. We need to take time to refresh and replenish. It helps me to meditate on Matt. 11:28-30 and name those burdens I need to lay down. It’s a reminder that they are not ours to carry. Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden light.

“The best a dvice I ever received came from a pastor wh o reminded me that Jes us died hav ing not finished ev erything. T h e re were people left unhealed, le ft in povert and left no y, t knowing H im. That was a turnin g point for me and something I’ve never fo rgotten.” – Mary

Suzan: Sometimes, when I really need refreshing, and it’s not possible to get away, I’ll try having an ongoing conversation with the Lord about what’s going on. I may also read Scripture or a comforting psalm. Often, I end up surprised for the next couple of hours or days because God gives me peace, even though the world hasn’t changed a bit. Just telling Him my anxieties provides me with a peace that can lead to a rested and relaxed place.

Shelly: Peace is found when we’re casting our cares

on Christ (1 Pet. 5:7). Because of Him, I can be at peace even when I have four major projects due at the same time, and I can enjoy a certain serenity in the middle of a ringing phone and screaming kids. But every time I feel a care closing in on me, I practice giving it back to Him. That may happen every minute on some days. But as I stay focused on Him by regularly coming to His Word for strength and spending time in honest prayer, rest follows. Of course, there’s a need to physically rest as well, so I try to build short “pauses” into my life where I can decompress and do things that energize me like riding my bike, listening to praise music, or journaling— all things that rest my body and soul.

JBU: What have you learned about balance since the summer of 2002?

Mary: Getting older has so many benefits. I’ve had

many more years of walking with the Lord, with more time behind me than in front of me, and that helps sharpen my focus on what is most important. I’m able to be more proactive and avoid falling into crazy cycles.

Suzan: I used to believe that once our children were

act. As I watch my daughters navigate marriage, motherhood, and adulthood, they have caught something I didn’t. They are doing a much better job building in fun, breaks, even trips to the nail salon— things I never thought I had time for or even deserved. In not caring for myself regularly over decades of caring for everyone else, including a chronically-ill child and husband, I ended up depleted for years—burned out, joyless, and in need of help to find myself again. (It’s okay to need both Jesus and a counselor!) Part of my recovery came through understanding that God wanted me to take care of myself, too. We can’t take care of everything in our lives from an empty place. Self-care is biblical. God created a day of rest—the Sabbath—so we could replenish as part of our weekly rhythm. Jesus modeled it. He often slipped away into the hills to refuel Himself and connect with God. Self-care is good stewardship of all parts of our lives, because we need to be continually refueling to carry out our God-given purpose. So, I try to do something fun every week, like making that phone call to a friend, walking in the woods, or reading a good book that isn’t for work or Bible study. Ultimately, self-care leads us to a more balanced life that glorifies God. As women, we are hardwired to put everyone else’s needs before our own. We often feel guilty taking time for ourselves, thinking it’s unspiritual. But caring for ourselves is a necessity, not a luxury, if we’re going to live out the purpose God has for us. While balance will look different for each of us—God wants us to thrive in every season of our lives.

Ann M. Cook, MSN, RN, is a retired

nurse and nursing instructor. She and her husband, Randy, enjoy three grown children, including a son and daughter-in-law, and five delightful grandchildren. She lives in Okauchee, Wis.

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raised and we became grandparents, life would become more relaxed. That has not been the case. Every season can be busy, but one of the keys to contentment is: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6). God still has a purpose for my life and as long as I keep trusting Him to be my pacesetter, I can keep smiling at the days and years ahead!

Shelly: It’s okay to include self-care in my balancing

CHRISTMAS

JOY I

love the Christmas story, but my personal experience with Christmas has been, well, quite terrible. I call it the Christmas Curse.

I grew up in a ministry family where Christmas meant that my father would be extra busy at church. We were never able to go to Christmas activities or even attend Christmas Eve service together. I told myself that when I got married, I would find a guy whose job didn’t take him away during Christmas—fast forward 15 years—I married a UPS man who works 70 hours a week during the Christmas season. God has a sense of humor!

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The Christmas Curse

I’m not kidding about the Christmas curse. There have been countless illnesses. The worst came when my mom, brother, and I all got the most miserable flu of our lives. It was so bad that I called my dad to say, “Goodbye. I love you. I won’t be here when you get home because I am going to be with Jesus.” He told me I was being ridiculous and to go back to bed. That was just

No matter what challenges the season brings, God’s love story brings rejoicing! by Sharon Vaught

before I threw up so many times that I passed out and hit my head on a table. When I came to, I had emptied my bucket on myself and was bleeding from my head. I still have not lived that Christmas down. And how could I ever forget my first Christmas Eve as a homeowner? Suddenly, a giant windstorm ripped the roof off the house. I was seven months pregnant, and we spent the entire Christmas Day covering our roof with ugly tarps, which stayed for months until it was warm enough to install a new roof. Last Christmas, we were excited for our first Christmas Eve service together as a whole family. I got the kids dressed in their beautiful Christmas clothes. We only made it through two songs before our youngest, Lydia, projectile vomited all over. We hurried home, where two more family members were hit by the same bug within hours. The craziest Christmas curse came when I got hit by a flying Christmas tree—a flying Christmas tree—while driving down the interstate. The tree got stuck in the grill of my car. Thank the Lord there was no real damage, but the mechanic found tinsel under the hood at my next oil change and had some questions for me.

Christmas Grief

Christmas Eve is also an unwelcome anniversary to some significant losses in my life. In college, I got the news that my grandmother passed away on Christmas Eve and had to quickly change my holiday plans to come home. A couple years later, I had to walk through the tragic murder of a dear friend who was killed on Christmas Eve while she was on duty as a police officer. Maybe you are like me, and Christmas is difficult for you, too. Maybe this is your first Christmas without a loved one, or the children are far away, or money is tight, and the stress is overwhelming. Or maybe illness is consuming you. One thing that has helped me find the joy in Christmas again is going back to the basics of the Christmas story.

The Story of Hope

From start to finish, the Bible is a love story. It is about the constant, never-ending, relentless pursuit of God’s love for us—even though we broke His heart. Story after story is about God providing a way for His people to get back to having that close relationship He had with His creation in the Garden.

Do you ever wonder why Matthew starts his book off with the boring list of Jesus’ lineage? How could all these people possibly be connected to the Messiah? Matthew is trying to make a point. He is saying that the Messiah is for everyone! There is no one too bad, too damaged, or too sinful that the blood of Christ cannot cover them. Matthew understood this because he was considered in a class worse than sinners—he was a tax collector.

The Characters in the Story

As I studied the Christmas narrative, something stood out to me. Most of the people in the nativity scene had a personal invitation to be there. • Mary got a personal visit from an angel telling her she was going to have a baby. • Joseph got an angel and a dream with details about the baby and even what he was supposed to name Him. He was continuously guided by God regarding where and when to move to keep his family safe. • The Shepherds got an angel with the radiance of the Lord’s glory; then God sent His calvary of angels to tell the poor, dirty shepherds that His Son had arrived. They didn’t go to kings, and they didn’t go to religious leaders—they came to average people like you and me. Who didn’t I mention yet? Who in the nativity scene hadn’t been sent an angel? • The Wise Men! Where was their angel? Where was their messenger? Who told them that the star was important? Their message came from God’s Word. The wise men came from the region of Mesopotamia where Daniel had lived. Daniel had prophesied about the coming Savior, and the signs to be looking for in his arrival—the star (Dan. 2:48)! What does this Christmas look like for you? Maybe you are anxious about the holidays or painful memories plague you, or you’re filled with grief. Maybe you already feel like this Christmas is going to be a curse. Be like the wise men—keep your eyes on the blessings from above. Wherever you are, don’t let challenges keep you from finding the real joy and hope of Christmas—Jesus in the manger.

Sharon Vaught is a writer, speaker,

and works for a number of nonprofits. She is a self-described “chaos coordinator” as she balances her busy family. She and her husband, Jason, have two young children and live in southeastern Wisconsin.

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The reason Christ came on Christmas wasn’t so we can set up cute little nativity sets on our mantel. He came to set us free from our captivity, to give all of us the opportunity to throw off the sin that so easily entangles us, and to be rescued by a God who has never given up on His people. Christmas is much more than the manger— it is about the cross.

The Lineage of Jesus

THE

Sandwich YEARS An anchor to hold onto while caring for kids and aging parents.

by Catriona Futter

o you feel like you are being pulled in different directions, spinning too many plates at once, wearing so many hats that you have completely forgotten who you are underneath it all? Do you ever feel like the joy is squeezed out of life?

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I, and many of my friends, find myself in this season. It is sometimes known as the sandwich generation, sandwiched between caring for children and elderly parents.

I have teenage children—two girls, one in her final year at school and one in her third year at university—and I have an older, but still very fit and independent, father who lives an hour away. My mother died last year, and he is adjusting to living on his own after 58 years of marriage. He is doing remarkably well, but my sister and I travel back and forth more often now to see him.

I run my own business, have church and school commitments, and am married to a husband with a busy, demanding job. It therefore generally falls to me to do the bulk of the life admin affecting three, if not four of us. To top it off, I am being tossed about on a sea of anxiety, mood swings, brain fog, and insomnia by the storms of my menopausal hormones. Sometimes I look at the timing and want to question God’s sense of humor! You may recognize yourself in my experience and find that you, too, are sandwiched between the ever-changing needs of growing children and elderly parents. This was the conversation I had with a wise friend recently, and neither of us had any clear answers. We did agree, though, that the analogy of a storm with winds buffeting us from all directions feels accurate.

No Safe Harbor

Who Will You Be?

What do you do in a storm? You might look for a safe harbor.

What you do for God is less important than who you are with God.

Unfortunately, that safety is not coming soon—I know that for me, this season will continue for a number of years as our girls continue through their tertiary education, find work, and settle in homes of their own. Until they do so, our home remains their safe haven, but for us this means continual change. I changed so much after I left home. I now wish I could go back and apologize to my parents for the wildness of those years! We learn as we grow, and as parents, our role is to be a constant source of security, love, and wisdom (when sought) to our teenage and young adult children. This involves remaining in the middle of that storm of change. No safe harbor yet.

When our lives are busy and we are pulled in all different directions, we have two choices. We can be tossed around, running ragged with our minds filled with anxious or negative thoughts. This very rapidly can cause us to descend into the depths of fear, anxiety, irritability, and a desperation to do everything ourselves with insufficient resources. This path robs us of joy and peace.

Equally, at the other end of life, many of us have elderly parents who require care and support that takes up time and energy. We become the carers for those who previously cared for us and seek to do so with kindness and grace whilst carrying heavy hearts for their diminishing capacity. Again, no safe harbor to rest in for a while yet. In the absence of a safe harbor, what is the next best thing?

A Solid Anchor I love that old hymn that says: “We have an anchor that keeps the soul steadfast and sure while the billows roll; fastened to the Rock which cannot move, grounded firm and deep in the Savior’s love!” Fears, uncertainties, and unknowns swirl about us constantly. Often, we have little control over any of that, and external situations can rob us of joy. However, we can control our own response—and we can choose to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (Heb. 12:2) and to remain anchored to God’s unchanging and unshakable love, because in His presence is fullness of joy (Ps. 16:11, RSV).

In His Presence I complained to God a while back about the number of plates that I felt I had to keep spinning all at once and the lack of resources I believed I had to do so. God gently and lovingly reminded me that they are not my plates. They are His. Therefore, I can hand all these responsibilities and roles over to Him and learn to be still in His Presence. God sees me and knows who I am. He says I am His masterpiece created to do good works that He purposed in advance (Eph. 2:10, NLT). In this season of life, those good works are to care well for my growing children and aging parents, to fulfill the roles I have in my life with grace, to accept my own limitations, and to be willing to learn and grow as so much shifts around me. Finally, I must be open to all that is to come in the next season, knowing that He has given me gifts to use well in His service. This is about who I am with Him—trusting Him for what I need today and letting that be enough, and not getting caught up in worrying about what I might need for tomorrow. This is the path that restores peace. In His presence there is indeed a fullness of joy, even amid the storm. So, to you, my sister in Christ, if you find yourself sandwiched between different generations, running ragged by the demands of others, and coming to grips with the impact of menopause, know that you are not alone. Let God be your anchor in that storm and trust Him to keep you held fast. He is and has all you need, even when nothing around you feels stable. Stop, breathe, fix your eyes on Jesus, and take the next step.

Catriona Futter is a Christian life coach, author and

speaker who is passionate about equipping people to discover and live out their unique, God-given identity and purpose. She runs her own business Equip for Life Coaching, offering individual coaching, group coaching, and speaking. She lives in Glasgow, Scotland, with her husband and one teenage daughter at home and one at university. Read more of her writing on her blog at equipforlifecoaching.com/blog/

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When we choose to fix our eyes on Jesus and praise Him for who He is regardless of how we feel, our perspective lifts from only seeing the storm to being reminded of His constancy in our lives. I sometimes make myself stop, take a breath, and remind myself that God is who He says He is—He is good, and He is God—and He will do what He says He will do. He has always been faithful to me in the past, and He promises to be my anchor (Heb. 6:19), to be a shield around me (Ps. 3:3), and to never leave nor forsake me (Deut 31:8) are true.

Or we can choose to focus on what we know to be true, who we know God to be and that He is ultimately in charge. He is our anchor and our source of strength and stability in the storm.

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A Companion for the Journey How devotional reading shaped my faith. BY SHELLY ESSER

I had just zipped up my suitcase in a flurry of emotions for what

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leaving home for the first time. Along with my most prized posses-

sion, my Bible, I grabbed a birthday gift my mom had given me that year: My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, my first devotional. In the front, she inscribed, “May the Lord bless you as you

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I still remember eagerly diving into the pages. I read and reread words, Scripture, and thoughts that on many occasions seemed way over my head, but I stuck with it. And as I did, I was amazed at how, year after year, those biblical truths and perspectives suddenly made sense. I started to grasp the deep spiritual truths that God would use to shape my faith— to help me become a better, more grounded disciple of Jesus, ever hungry for His Word.

What Devotionals Are

Never to be a substitute for God’s Word, I look at devotionals as a companion to the Bible, or a primer to prepare my heart for the real thing. It’s reading that is designed, as one author put it, “for personal buildup of Christian knowledge and spiritual formation.” Devotionals are a great place to find inspiration in your spiritual journey. Different readings enhance reflection on God’s Word, while encouraging you to spend time in prayer. They are a partner to help grow your faith. My Utmost for His Highest, in particular, is like having a personal mentor—a godly person who is farther along the road than me to give me wisdom and insight, cheer me on to see the bigger picture, inspire my faith and, most importantly, help me apply God’s Word to my life. It’s like having a more mature believer leaving footsteps for you to follow, pointing you to know Jesus for yourself. Like a friend sitting with you over coffee, sharing what they’re learning and cheering you on to do the same. While devotionals can be a wonderful addition to our intimacy with Christ, we need to be careful that our relationship with Christ doesn’t become secondhand. It can be easy to continually feed off what someone else has learned about God, but what I have cherished about this devotional is the way I am always pointed to know Christ personally. Chambers continually emphasizes, “The one thing that remains is looking in the face of God for ourselves.”

There have been words of much-needed correction, wisdom for ministry, reminders to focus on God, and

So, what should you look for when thinking about choosing a “companion” to point you to Jesus? Here are my suggestions:

A devotional that meets you where you’re at. Perhaps you’re looking to go deeper, or you’re in a season of suffering, or you’re hungering for God’s presence, or there’s a hero of the faith you want to emulate, look for one that will encourage you in the place of spiritual growth for the season you’re in.

A devotional that uses Scripture. Many have

one verse at the top or several at the bottom. Before you even start reading, look those verses up in your Bible and meditate on them to keep from substituting devotional reading for the real thing—opening up God’s Word.

A devotional that points you to Jesus. You want one that is going to usher you into the throne room of God and push you to go beyond your current level of faith, trust, and spiritual understanding—one that encourages you to keep your eyes on Jesus instead of your fickle feelings or what the culture is saying. It needs to be a primer for getting into God’s Word firsthand where you experience Christ for yourself.

Devotionals absolutely have their place—they can make Scripture come alive, help you apply what you read in modern-day language, and play a vital role in your discipleship—however, they’re only to be companions for the journey, not the destination, which is God’s Word. It’s been over 40 years since My Utmost for His Highest was first placed in my hands. I have had the cover leather bound so it lasts beyond my lifetime and becomes a treasure and mentor I pass on to my daughters. I could have never imagined how that small, unassuming gift that I threw in my suitcase, as a teenager young in my faith, would turn out to be life-changing and a trusted companion shaping my faith. To echo my companion’s wise words, “I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him alone— My Utmost for His Highest!”

Shelly Esser has been the editor

of Just Between Us for over 30 years. Additionally, she has been involved with leading and nurturing women in Christ since college. She and her husband have four adult daughters, two sons-inlaw, a grandson, and live in Menomonee Falls, Wis.

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“Ozzie,” as I have affectionately come to call him, has poured into my life in significant ways even though he’s long gone to heaven. His walk with God displayed on the pages of his devotional, his messages put together by his wife Biddy, have been a roadmap for my own sanctification, surrender, and obedience as I read how he lived out his discipleship. He has always spurred me on to count the cost and give my all to the only One who matters: Jesus—the One who paid His all for me.

to keep Him first. His themes of prayer and intimacy with Christ have driven me always into the arms of my Savior and onto my knees, where the real heart transformation takes place.

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Nuggets of

WISDOM from Ozzie

“Keep all of life perennially open to Jesus Christ, don’t pretend with Him. Are you drawing your life from any other source than God Himself? If you are depending upon anything but Him, you will never know when He is gone.”

“The great difficulty spiritually is to concentrate on God, and it is His blessings that make it difficult. Troubles nearly always make us look to God; His blessings are apt to make us look elsewhere. Look unto Me.”

“The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer.” “Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him.”

“When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light.” “My life as a worker is the way I say ‘thank you’ to God for His unspeakable salvation.”

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“When we are abandoned to God, He works through us all the time.”

“My worth in God in public is what I am in private.” “The Holy Spirit cannot be located as a Guest in a house, He invades everything.” “The proof that we are rightly related to God is that we do our best whether we feel inspired or not.”

FINDING YOUR

WORD ȷustbetweenus winter 2023

FOR THE YEAR

How it can help you live intentionally. by Grace P. Cho

he new year is within my reach, and my thoughts ping around my brain like the silver ball in a pinball machine. There are so many things I want to do as the year comes to an end, so many loose ends to tie up. Each thought sets off a ding! and lights up all the different parts of my life that need attention: I want to rest in peace and calm after a busy fall season. I want time and space to reflect on the year past, to see what God has done and how far He’s brought me. I just bought everyone’s Christmas and birthday gifts because on top of the regular holiday craziness, there are nine birthdays we need to celebrate as well. I want to be present with my kids during the rest of their winter break, while still having to work, clean the house, and plan and make dinner. I want to enter the new year with purpose and intention, with a word that will guide and frame the 12 months ahead, but I know that can’t happen while I’m rushing to and fro, both in body and mind. I can’t see and hear what God is up to when I’m too busy, unable to stop the activities, the responsibilities, the noise. But in the midst of it all, there are pockets, moments, even hours when I can choose to put aside what clamors for my attention and to sit and be still. After the kids are put to bed, after the kitchen and living room are back in order, I sit at my desk with my journal and pen and empty space. I take three deep breaths because even though it’s quiet, I still need help quieting my soul. I open to a fresh page in my journal, and in my usual way, I start writing to God. Dear God, what a year it’s been… I reflect on everything that has happened over the last year. I go through my planner with its scribbles and crossed out to-do lists, remembering the events and what God showed me about Himself in those times. I try to pinpoint the feelings and lessons I learned to see if there has been an overall trajectory God had me on. I had chosen the word cultivate at the beginning of the year, and in many ways—though in ways I didn’t expect—God cultivated the soil of my soul through a fallow season and through all the yeses I said to Him this year.

Am I living it out? How am I doing so? What is God teaching me about it? What is God teaching me about through it?

Now as I look toward a new year, I see how cultivate has made way for a new word for the new year. I faithfully said yes to everything God invited me into this past year, and now I sense God saying it’s time to focus in, to learn to say yes to a few things and no to many things, to say yes to the better things and to say no to good things.

I wonder what word He has for you and what ways He’s going to work that word out in your life. This will affect every decision I make, both big and small. It will most likely mean sitting at my computer writing more than I’ve done before and saying no to coffee dates, even though those are deeply important. My word for the year will shape the way I spend my time, my money, the way I set rhythms in my life. And though I can’t see everything God has in store for me, I know that when I live out my word for the year, it will be the way He unfolds His purposes for me. I wonder what God is whispering to your soul as you look toward the new year. I wonder what word He has for you and what ways He’s going to work that word out in your life. He is speaking, and He is wanting you to hear. He wants you to draw near, to be bold in obedience, to stay rooted, and to grow more into maturity in Christ. Be still, even when things are not, and seek the word He has for you, seek His purpose for the year ahead. Let’s live intentionally this coming year!

Making resolutions this year? Let us help. Take DaySpring’s Word of the Year quiz to find your 2024 Word of the Year (dayspring.com/yourwordquiz)—one word that will help you focus on what God is calling you to accomplish in the year ahead. Reprinted with permission from Dayspring website.

Grace P. Cho is a Korean American writer, editor, poet, and speaker. She is also the co-editor of Take Heart: 100 Devotions to Seeing God When Life’s Not Okay, co-author of Empowered: More of Him for All of You, author of the (in)courage Bible studies, Courageous Influence and Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom, and a contributor for a collection of essays, poems, and liturgies, Voices of Lament: Reflections on Brokenness and Hope in a World Longing for Justice.

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Every year I’ve chosen a word, it has helped me stay grounded. It has given me a solid foundation to come back to when I start to wander aimlessly and busily through the year. When I get bogged down by all the mundane things of life, by the million decisions I need to make, I take a step back and remember the word.

It serves as a gentle reminder and an insight into how God is wanting to grow me.

uring a recent personal struggle (a chronic one, but this time especially intense and bewildering), I was reminded of something I’d read in Elizabeth Skoglund’s book, Amma: The Life and Words of Amy Carmichael. She wrote about a child who was being led into the gas chamber at Belzec, one of Hitler’s concentration camps. When the confused little boy saw the darkened room, someone heard him say, “It’s so dark, and I was being so good.” “Why?” we sometimes wonder, in rooms less tragic but still so bleak. “How can this be? I thought I was right where You put me, doing just what You said. It’s so dark, and I was being so good.” We’re bewildered by what feels like punishment, though for what we do not know. We feel betrayed because we thought a close walk with the Lord would keep us out of these dark rooms of deep disappointment. We don’t like it that God hasn’t explained Himself to us and is willing to allow us to feel such pain.

THE JOY OF

“What kind of Father does that?” asked the late pastor Tim Keller in a recent sermon. His reply? “A Father who allowed His Son to go to the cross for you and I.” A Father who allowed Him to, apparently, feel similar bewilderment: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me” (Matt. 27:46)? For our redemption, Jesus was allowed to experience, far beyond our experience, the excruciating tension of not understanding the Father He had lived to please.

ns r o Th

An invitation to receive grace and strength in your time of need. by Sandy Mayle

A Thorny Problem

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In 2 Cor. 12:7-10, we learn that God also allowed the apostle Paul to enter into a room of suffering. Paul had a thorn “in the flesh.” Whether it was in his physical flesh or his inner being, we don’t know, but we do know that a thorn can be excruciating. Although Paul pleaded three times for God to remove it, His answer was no.

God hadn’t sent the thorn; it was from Satan, intended to torment (v. 7), but God allowed it to remain for a specific purpose. Without the thorn, God told Paul, he was in grave danger of becoming “puffed up” (AMPC) and conceited because of the great revelations he had received from the Lord. So instead of removing the thorn, God pledged to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (v. 9).

A Peculiar Joy

What was Paul’s response to finding out the thorn was staying? Not disappointment. Not anger. Not despair. “Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses… in hardships… in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (vv. 9-10, emphasis mine). Paul delights and joys in his weakness—not in the conquering of it, but in the thick of it—for the mind-boggling tradeoff: that the power of Christ may rest on him. Certainly, Paul’s thorn would mean pain and suffering. But it didn’t have to mean doubt, insufficiency, disobedience, backsliding, or defeat. In fact, it was meant to protect against those things.

A Personal Invitation

This, then, was my struggle, the Lord showed me. I had a thorn which He’d allowed to remain. It could lead to temptation (not a sin) or to sin itself… or it could lead to joy, delight, and blessing. It was my choice. Have you, too, been pierced with a thorn—perhaps an area of recurring temptation, a chronic physical ailment, or an inescapable situation? We know that sometimes God removes thorns and fully heals wounds. Have we asked Him? If so, and it remains, why has God allowed it to remain? Why is it so dark when we were being so good? Our Lord’s refusal to remove the thorn doesn’t mean He’s unsympathetic. “We do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liabilities to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning” (Heb. 4:15, AMPC, emphasis mine). Jesus sympathizes with us. He enters into our feelings. He intercedes for us before the Father (Rom. 8:34). The Holy Spirit, too, pleads our need to Him (Rom. 8:26-27).

A Promised Help

We are also invited to come to the Father ourselves: “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb. 4:16).

Through these God lays down a protective barrier against bitterness and doubt, reapplying it over and over until that painful site begins to release blessing. And as He applies His balm, He opens our eyes to the reasons He has for this thorn, including freeing us from ourselves, purifying us, and perfecting His power in and upon us.

The Peculiar Joys of Thorns

As God leads me through this process these days, I’m realizing there really are some peculiar joys in thorns: • The joy of protection from our wayward selves (Jas. 1:2-4). • The joy of being called closer to Jesus (Matt. 11:28-30). • The joy of knowing God is working for our good and His purpose (Rom. 8:28). • The joy of learning new and deeper truths about God through the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 2:9-12). • The joy of feasting afresh on the Word (Ps. 23:5a). • The joy of experiencing God’s sufficiency (Phil. 4:19). • The joy of glorifying God in this struggle (2 Cor. 3:18). In so many ways, our thorns become a means of grace to us. The darkness becomes the shadow of His power. The weakness blesses. “Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me” (2 Cor. 12:9, AMP). The more deeply we experience Christ’s power on us, the more fully we accept—even welcome—our thorn. Not because we love pain, but because we love the Father and delight to know Him, His presence, and His power. We don’t have to be delivered from our thorn, then. We don’t even have to understand why we’re not delivered. What we truly need is confidence that God’s grace is always enough, and that His power will overshadow our consecrated weakness. The thorn… the power! What joy!

Sandy Mayle is a freelance writer of

articles, devotionals, poetry, and prayer and retreat resources. She and her husband, Dave, live in Erie, Pa. They have three sons and daughters-in-law and eight grandchildren.

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We, as God’s children through faith in Jesus’ payment for our sins, can approach God our Father on Christ’s merit. We can come with confidence to His throne of grace, that grace which is as sufficient for us as it was for Paul. We can come just as we are—thorn-thrust, despairing, and utterly insufficient. And we can come with a very specific purpose: to receive mercy and find grace to help. For when? Right now, in our time of need.

In response, the Father promises to apply His sufficient grace (His enabling, His equipping for overcoming) to the site of our thorn. His grace may come through indepth meditation on a particular Scripture, or through starting a new spiritual discipline, or through laying down new and practical, God-drawn boundaries; God’s creative options are unlimited.

Comforting the Hurting When the Holidays Hurt

hristmas can be a stressful time for people in the best of times. Not to mention those who are living through the worst of times. Here are four ways to come alongside someone hurting this Christmas.

1. Always call ahead! This allows freedom to say

they’re not up for a visit without the embarrassment of sending you away. And things can change in a split second. Don’t overstay your welcome.

2. Acknowledge the elephant in the room.

People are often uncomfortable with pain. If they can’t fix it, they don’t know what to do. So often, time is spent trying to talk others out of their pain rather than validating it. Invite the elephant into the conversation. Share a memory. Acknowledge the loss or hardship. Don’t be afraid to talk about it.

3. Offer Practical Help. It can be frustrating when people say, “Let me know what I can do.” They don’t always know what they need or when they’ll need it. Often, they don’t have the emotional energy to ask

by Lisa Elliott

for help. So, offer what you have to give: “Do you need cleaning done?” “Could I bring a meal?” “Would your children appreciate a night out?” Give gift cards, care packages, personal items, money, meals, or encouragement notes. Gift them with a Christmas ornament with the name of their loved one.

4. Listen and provide companionship. One of the

best gifts you can give someone is your listening ear. It’s okay to not know what to do or say! You can’t fix it. The Bible says to mourn with those who mourn (Rom. 12:15). And, God walks with us through our pain. Psalm 23 says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley…Thou art with me” (KJV). Walk alongside your friend. The power of presence speaks louder than words. As you come alongside your friend, pray that, The Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, will give you the necessary wisdom to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort you yourselves have received from God (2 Cor. 1:2-4).

WHAT IF A CHRISTMAS POEM BY JILL BRISCOE

What if the manger had been empty and no angel in the sky, had stopped to tell the shepherds they really should stop by the dark and humble stable where God’s glory shone around, and the Father’s precious only Son—a baby could be found. Then there’d be no heaven waiting and no Savior’s arm held wide to welcome His invited guest to come and step inside. There’d be no heavenly Bride Groom, No glorious wedding feast, No church, no heavenly family from the greatest to the least. If Joseph had been obstinate or Mary had said no, If the wise men hated traveling and didn’t want to go, If the shepherds there in Bethlehem had been quiet about it all, Would there be a Christmas story of a humble cattle stall? And if, He who reigned in heaven, became enthroned on high, had been too busy making worlds to leave and come to die, Or if all our pain and helplessness, our shame and our disgrace, had triggered only justice and no amazing grace. There would be no friend like Jesus to calm us in our strife. No saving, free forgiveness, no second chance at life. No gentle, Holy Spirit to change us from within. No overcoming power, no victory over sin.

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So come with me on tiptoe and I’ll take you to the place Where Jesus, baby Jesus, lies with tears on His face. Assuring us of Gospel truth that in this tiny form, within the hay on Christmas day, Redemptive love was born. Amen.

INTENTIONAL FAITH

Not Forgotten by Jen Allee

ot a day goes by that I don’t think about my kids. I have two teenage boys, and it is a privilege to be their mom. They make me laugh, they challenge me, and sometimes they make me so proud I want to cry. But like any parent, they frustrate me at times. And like all parents, I am not perfect. Over the years I have raised my voice, punished unfairly, been overly critical, and a host of other things that I hope don’t land them in counseling one day. Though I have dropped the ball on more than one occasion, I can say one thing with certainty: I have never forgotten them.

Didn’t my Father know about this dream? Wasn’t He the one who put it in my heart to begin with? God must have forgotten it, therefore it’s up to me to materialize it. But I don’t measure up! I am not enough, and I am lacking. Thus, the sadness. But like a shard of light piercing through a cloudy, dismal day, Rom. 8:16 drilled down into my heart. I suddenly remembered: I am a child of God! And good parents don’t forget their children.

I may have forgotten to buy something for a project or remind them to do something, but I have never forgotten them. They are always on my mind. I pray for them, dream big for them, and have high hopes for them. I wonder how they are processing a hurt, dealing with a disappointment, or overcoming a fear. My kids are forever on my mind.

Instantly, I felt my heart lift. God had not forgotten me. He was well aware of my circumstances and where my life was headed, and just as I only want good things for my boys, God only wants good things for me. Maybe this dream isn’t what’s best for me, or maybe the timing isn’t right for it yet. God is in the midst of the situation, orchestrating it with me in mind.

God Hasn’t Forgotten His Child

Rest, Daughter

We find a similar sentiment in Rom. 8:16, “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” In other words, the Holy Spirit says to me, “He’s your Father.” Nothing can change that. Just as my kids can never do anything to make them not my kids, we can’t do anything to change our status as children of God. A daughter remains just that—a daughter.

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This meant so much to me because I had been carrying a sadness with me that I couldn’t shake. It was like a cloak, wrapped around me and weighing me down. It was a dream unfulfilled and its unfulfillment had finally settled in around me. Life looked normal and routine, but on the inside, this heavy cloak laid around my heart.

On this particular day, though, I pulled out the cloak and examined it. I realized that the weight of it was due to one, simple belief: God must have forgotten me.

There is so much comfort in being a child. God intends children to be able to rest, trust, let their parents hold the weight of responsibility, let them take the lead, and never doubt that their parents will provide and have their best in mind. If we can witness this with a flawed earthly parent, how much more with our heavenly parent? Nothing about my circumstances changed that day— except my heart. Knowing that I am not forgotten gives me peace and reminds me what a gift it is to be a child of God—a daughter of the King!

➜

Be Intentional

Is there an area where you feel forgotten by God? Let the truth of being His child sink in, allowing you to rest and trust Him.

Jen Allee is an author and speaker who believes a strong faith

is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

jenallee.com

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FAITH AT WORK

In the Workplace, Not of the Workplace by Danielle Thomas

o you ever struggle to feel like you fit in at work? Maybe you find your coworkers’ borderline jokes distasteful, or you can’t identify with what seems to be the relentless pursuit of more money, authority, and success? When my coworkers tell stories about their wild weekends and booze-filled nights out, I can’t help but feel a tightening in my chest, a twinge that I just can’t shake. It’s not only because I’m a generally tame person who enjoys a cozy Friday night in that I feel a level of discomfort at these topics and situations. I know in my heart that these things are displeasing to God, and it makes me feel uneasy. Our workplaces are such fascinating microcosms of our world, with people from different backgrounds all holding different values, beliefs, and priorities. In certain ways, though, the workplace atmosphere can amplify our human rejections of God’s goodness and highlight our shortcomings even more clearly. As Christians, it should be no surprise that these experiences feel uncomfortable or wrong, but sometimes the shock of it really hits us!

Being Set Apart

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Most of us are already familiar with what the Bible says about being different and set apart as God’s holy people, with Rom. 12:2 serving as probably the most well-known verse on this subject: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Throughout the Word, Jesus tells us that things are going to be difficult in the world as Christ-followers, and that we’re going to feel extremely uncomfortable at times—this includes within the workplace. In fact, in 2 Tim. 3:2, the apostle Paul gives us a list of things to watch out for, that “people will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy.” How often do we see these characteristics displayed at work? Hopefully not all the time, but because we and our coworkers alike are all sinners, these behaviors are bound to appear.

Living for Jesus

Our workplace is one of our best mission fields—it offers us the opportunity to demonstrate the changed, renewed, eternal life of freedom and joy that walking in relationship with Jesus brings us. We have the Holy Spirit to equip us to withstand difficult situations, while breathing God’s light and love into these spaces. Because we are new creations through Jesus, the world has no claim on us anymore, but we’re also told it will reject us. John 15:19 says, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” Things are going to be awkward or even distressing at times, especially at work where we’re likely interacting each day with people who don’t know Jesus. We shouldn’t let this scare us, but rather motivate and encourage us to act differently and deliberately.

Choosing to be His Light

What happens when we choose to embrace not fitting in, and not going along with the fleeting things our coworkers find entertaining, alluring, or important? We stand out. Jesus says in John 13:35 that “by this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” When we gently question a sketchy joke, share that we’re going to church on the weekend, and act in love instead of greed, competition, or selfishness, it contrasts with what our colleagues may be doing. And while we strive to tangibly demonstrate Christ’s love and choose to reject the things the world considers dear; we can pray for something even more revolutionary—for our coworkers to ask us why.

Danielle Thomas works in internal communications for a

luxury automotive manufacturer in the UK. She lives with her British husband, Caleb, and Cavapoo puppy. She enjoys hiking, exploring the countryside, and learning UK history.

thethomases2020@gmail.com

minutes in the

The Joy of Sharing Joy

WORD By Dorie Etrheim

I could have missed it. My calendar was overcommitted, my body was weary, and I longed for comfy clothes. A hundred reasons to stay home swirled in my mind. Reluctantly, I forced myself to go. As I walked into the room, I was met with hugs and warm hospitality. The laughter, joy, and embrace between friends that evening reignited a joy that refreshed my tired soul.

We have joy from Jesus that we are to share. Imagine being in a gathering of women rejoicing with one another, hearts exploding with the love of Jesus, and infusing hope and strength into the lives of others.

We see the concept of sharing joy with others throughout Scripture. Let’s look at details often overlooked in a familiar passage.

For some, this joy may not be a reality. Worry, fear, isolation, busyness, or comparing ourselves to others can steal our joy. Plus, it’s vulnerable to share our joy. We risk sharing a piece of our heart that might be met with envy or jealousy.

Read Luke 15:3-9. What does the shepherd do when he finds his lost sheep? How does the woman respond when she finds her lost coin?

How can you invite this joy into your life?

What keeps you from sharing joy with others?

Digging Deeper Notice the three simple, yet powerful, words that can change our lives and community: “Rejoice with me.” We are meant to share joy. Neuroscience tells us that when we see someone joyful, our mirror neurons fire, allowing us to experience and share positive emotions with those around us. One person’s joy triggers another person’s joy, creating a ripple effect throughout our community. God wired us for connection and designed us to be interdependent rather than self-sufficient. Joy is not meant to be experienced in isolation; it’s to be shared. Write out the following verses:

The O.T. feasts were called “times of rejoicing” (Num. 10:10) and are a great model for celebrating our joy together. (Peek at Deut. 16:11-15 for a great example.) “Rejoice with those who rejoice” in Rom. 12:15 uses the Greek verb chairo, which focuses on feeling joy and entering into the feelings of others. We are to feel joy with those who feel joy. The Greek word “rejoice” in Luke 15:6, 9, and 1 Cor. 12:26 is the verb sugchairo, which expresses the shared nature of joy, including feeling joy and celebrating with others. Sharing your joy reflects God’s love and spreads joy to others. Shared joy is contagious.

For Your Journal

1 Corinthians 12:26

When was the last time you experienced the joy of sharing joy with others?

Romans 12:15

What’s one step you can take to share joy with others this week?

“Rejoice with those who rejoice.” ROMANS 12:15

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Burdens that are shared are cut in half and joy that is shared is multiplied.

Is it easier for you to rejoice with others or to ask people to rejoice with you? What makes one easier or more difficult for you?

OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

Your Kingdom Come by Ashley N. Thomas

ome of my favorite movies are ones that have a redemptive ending. No matter the mess, inabilities, or shortcomings a story may hold, I find great hope in a story that comes together in the end—one where light and goodness wins. We serve a God who is in the business of reconciling all things, and we are promised a time when things will be as they ought to be (in the happy ending we have been waiting for). There is hope, and He has a name: Jesus. Jesus invites us to join Him in His people’s redemptive stories. Whether it be our family, friends, neighbors, or strangers we pass on the street, people are looking for hope, to know their lives have a purpose. Sometimes we focus too much on doing big things for God that we lose sight of the opportunities in front of us. We may think, I don’t have many resources, gifts, or abilities, but all of us can join God in bringing about His kingdom on earth. I encourage you to pray and discern where God asks you to participate in one or all of the following ways:

Pray. What if you turned “I’ll pray for you” into “May

I pray with you now?” We have direct access to the source of all things good. When you encounter someone in need of prayer, pray in that moment. Pray for your community. Pray for the schools, churches, leaders, the people you know and those you don’t—continually lay people, places, plans, and problems before the throne.

Serve. I guarantee that someone in your life can use

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extra support. Consider an act of kindness. You may be surprised to hear it was exactly what was needed. You can also check in at your church or find volunteer opportunities at local organizations. Do your best to not create constraints or expectations around what serving will look like. Just show up and be open.

light and bring hope to a hopeless world. These efforts cost money. Whether you have a lot or what you perceive to be little, I have seen God use generosity to provide exactly what someone needed. Investment in people has ripple effects. As the executive director of a nonprofit, I see gifts come in the door, see the transformation and fruit of that investment, and sometimes see it come full circle. People come to us needing stability (housing, employment, and a healthy community), and contributions help offset the cost for a home, so someone can focus on getting back on their feet. One member had lived in our facility for nearly three years with her two daughters. On the day she moved out, she handed me a check equivalent to three months of fees. She said, “I am so grateful for this opportunity and the people who made it possible; I want to make it possible for another family to experience what we did.” This is just one example of how investing in God’s kingdom has a ripple effect. Redeemed people create ways for others to experience that same redemption. Ask for eyes to see the needs before you. Ask that God bring people and places to mind for you to pray for, check in on, or support. While God doesn’t need us, He invites us to do good works, to be servants who help push back the darkness, and proclaim the Good News. Everyone can do something, and no “thing” is too small. Join Him in the work He is doing, whether that is with your church, your favorite nonprofit, or a friend in need. What is God asking you to do?

Invest. We are called to invest in God’s kingdom.

Many people and organizations do their part to be a

Ashley N. Thomas is the executive director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys teaching, writing, learning, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still. She is a wife, mom to a baby boy (Jedidiah), and fur baby (Belle).

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LIVING WELL

How Do We Handle Crucial Adolescent Heart Questions? by Gail Goolsby

hate myself for getting so frustrated with my 14-year-old daughter. She doesn’t initiate much communication and seems depressed. I am afraid she has dark thoughts, but I don’t know what she is feeling or thinking these days.” “I was totally shocked when my 12-year-old daughter told me she thinks she is gay. I believe she is so confused about gender and sexual identity, but I don’t know how to help her.” Parents, teachers, youth leaders, and other adolescent caregivers are wringing their hands when it comes to understanding today’s teens. While generational disconnect is not a new problem, there are new issues impacting our evolving young adults.

Adolescent Crisis

I recently attended a workshop for all those working with adolescents. Thirty years ago, adolescents were setting records on binge drinking, drunk driving, pregnancy, and smoking. Now the primary public health concern revolves around increasing rates of anxiety, depression, mood disorders, self-harm, and other mental health difficulties. Rising deaths from suicide among teens is a trend that began well before the onset of COVID-19. Females, minorities, and adolescents struggling with gender identity and sexual orientation are among the most vulnerable.

Heart Questions

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An infant entering the world from the security of the womb has little sense of self. They develop into a mere reflection of the attachment to their mother or other consistent caregivers. Parents tune in to their baby’s feelings and respond, giving validation to what the baby is trying to find out…Am I heard? Understood? Cared for?

Positive early messaging by parents, caregivers, teachers, and peers is a great beginning, but heart questions continue throughout other stages of life.

Adolescence is a key stage when a child is moving to fully establish a sense of self, outside of parents, now looking to a wider social acceptance. The top two questions adolescents need to know for sure are: Am I Lovable? Who unconditionally supports me and wants to be connected to me, no matter what? Where do I belong? Who values me and understands me? Am I Enough? Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Athletic enough? What do I have to get or do to be accepted?

Partners with God

Only God can love each of us perfectly, but He does give us a model for parenting and caring for others to help answer the heart questions. He invites us to partner with Him. Loving according to God’s example is not based on merit or behavior or natural talents. We must love and forgive and value others as a reflection of God’s unearned grace extended to us. Social media cannot answer heart questions for our youth or anyone else. We need to teach, correct, and guide on all manner of current issues as we journey with our children and others through life. We show how forgiveness works. We handle emotions and judgment by demonstrating love for the person, even when we disagree with their choices. We don’t give up on others. We get additional help when needed. We continually, faithfully show up in their lives. We must be different from the world and love like God. Hopefully our lives will point lost and lonely adolescents to the true answer to their hearts’ questions. Yes, they are lovable. And, yes, they are enough.

Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd, ACC, is an author, speaker, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul. She is a mom and grandma, and lives in South Central Kansas, with her husband.

gailgoolsby.com gail.goolsby@gmail.com G facebook.com/Gail Wettstone Goolsby Ö twitter.com/Gail Goolsby

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EVERYDAY TRANSFORMATION

Hugging Your Christmas Cactus by Laura Sandretti

he summer before my youngest child left for college, we took a family trip. A friend warned me about having lofty expectations for our last vacation before our nest emptied. She had been disappointed on a similar trip with her family, so she was trying to help temper my hopes. When we arrived at our vacation rental, everyone scattered to their rooms. I was ready to play board games and share stories, but once my adult children accessed the Wi-Fi, they vanished. As I cried to my husband, I realized that although I’d tried to avoid expecting a Hallmark movie getaway, I’d subconsciously done just that. Christmas is another time rife with expectations. Whether you’re trying to emulate the Norman Rockwell holidays you had growing up or avoid difficult Christmas memories you vowed never to relive, we often can’t help ourselves. We have expectations for the people, presents, and pasts we’re striving to preserve and retain, or prevent and redeem. How do we avoid setting ourselves up for disappointment? How do we keep ourselves from having unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others? How do we protect ourselves from the hurt that failed expectations inevitably bring?

Hug Your Cactus

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I realized after our trip that rather than looking for fast ways to feel better or shaming myself for not being more thankful, I needed to sit in the pain I was experiencing. I needed to “hug my cactus,” as my friend calls it, and invite the Lord to help where I was struggling as I prayed and read His Word.

We aren’t a culture that practices hugging our cactus. Most of us avoid pain at all costs so waiting on the Lord in prickly places isn’t desirable. But Jeremiah was an expert cactus hugger. He said, “I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness, and the gall. I remember them well and my soul is downcast within me” (Lam. 3:19-20). He not only acknowledged the

pain the cactuses of life brought, but he also actively waited on the Lord to redeem that pain (vv. 24).

How Do We Hug our Cactus?

How do we wait on the Lord when disappointment abounds not only at Christmas, but throughout the year? It can help to read what’s raw. I often forget the Bible is filled with cactus hugging laments. Lamentations and the Psalms show us how to sit under the weight of pain while acknowledging the Lord’s goodness and compassion, even when we don’t feel or see Him. Secondly, we need to hug nicely. God gave us our emotions. We don’t need to feel badly for feeling loss and sadness that even Jesus experienced (John 11:35). Part of allowing God to meet us in failed expectations is to stop condemning ourselves for the honest emotions we feel. The Lord meets us in our pain (Ps. 10:1) and in our doubts (Ps. 94:19). He doesn’t condemn us (Rom. 8:1), so neither should we. Lastly, part of hugging our cactus is regularly reminding our mind. Jeremiah told himself in Lam. 3:21-22, “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.” While Jeremiah struggled with disillusionment and failed expectations, he “called to mind” God’s love and compassion so that he didn’t lose hope. By praying and memorizing Scripture, God’s faithfulness becomes the lens through which we filter disappointment. This Christmas when plans change, you don’t feel appreciated, or you’re down and you don’t know why—hug your cactus. Practice waiting on Jesus in your hurt. The more you do, the more you’ll experience His mercies and compassions that never fail and never disappoint.

Laura Sandretti, MATS, is an author, faith coach, and active

conference and retreat speaker. She is a former high school teacher who uses humor and real-life examples to challenge women to think more deeply about what they believe about God, the Bible, and themselves because of the cross of Christ. Laura has four adult children, has been married for 30 years, and prays daily for grandchildren.

laurasandretti.com G facebook.com/laurasandrettiblog Ö twitter.com/laurasandrettiblog

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