theVAULTmagazine ~ Issue 11

Page 1

theVAULTmagazine Issue #11 - March 2, 2012

Also in this Issue...

Street Art: Waiting for a Fresh Layer of Paint

Crack the Vault

Parenting Children of the Digital Age

Oral Tradition: An Important Legacy

FREE

THE PEACE REGION'S ALTERNATIVE


theVAULTmagazine SECTIONS 04 Inside the Vault 05 Local 08 Technology 10 Suzuki 11 Calendar 14 Hel l's Bel le

Issue #11 - March 2, 2012 15 16 18 20 21 22

Arts Wine Column Lifestyle Sex Astrology/Oddities Puzzles & Comics

Editor/Publisher Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

CORRECTION

Social Media/Reception Mary Warren

Logo Design Michael Boone

Layout Design

Jenelle Lizotte Christine Taylor Tormaigh Van Slyke Chris Zwick

Distribution DVS Michael Russell T&J

Website Design

Sush Wong & Doug Hurst, Wild Card Technology Solutions

Ad Design

Aimie Williams Sush Wong

Ad Sales

Tormaigh Van Slyke

Photography

Jenelle Lizotte Susan Thompson Tormaigh Van Slyke

RE: "Francophone Schools in Alberta Keep French Heritage Alive" [Issue 10] This article stated that, "Falher is home to the only fully Francophone school in the [Peace region] area with the next closest Francophone school two hours away in Grande Prairie." This, however, is not true. The Peace region is, infact, home to three francophone schools: École des QuatreVents (preschool to Grade 6) in Peace River, École Héritage (preschool to Grade 12) in Falher and École Nouvelle Frontière (preschool to Grade 12) in Grande Prairie. These schools are governed by the Northwest Francophone School Authority (Conseil scolaire du Nord-Ouest No 1). Another item to note is the article stated that Anglophones are welcome to pursue the Francophone education offered at these schools. Although exceptions are made, these schools are primarily reserved for those students who come from Francophone backgrounds as Section 23 of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms protects the rights of those children to obtain an education in the language of the minority. The editors would like to apologize for these errors. For more information please contact the Conseil scolaire du Nord-Ouest at 780-624-8855 or visit www.csno.ab.ca

Contributors

Terry Cameron Raymond Myles Susan Thompson Mary Warren Chris Zwick

WWW.THEVAULTMAG.COM THEPIT@THEVAULTMAG.COM

Comics

CJ Lyons, Fairview Shannon Brown & Randee Neumeyer, Peace River Crystal Hansen, Hines Creek Jason Hewitt, Peace River

WWW.THEVAULTMAGAZINE.TUMBLR.COM

@thevaultmag theVAULTmagazine (Peace Region) www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com

theVAULTmagazine is available free of charge at over 120 locations in the greater Peace Region every other Friday. We publish 2,000 copies every two weeks. We are funded solely through the support of our advertisers. theVAULTmagazine is published biweekly by Plato’s Cave Publishing. No content herein can be reproduced without written consent of the publisher. We accept contributions provided they are the property of the contributor and are offered exclusively to theVAULTmagazine. The publisher assumes no responsibility for the return or safety of contributed materials and therefore will not be held responsible. All opinions or statements expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher or staff. The reader must understand that all information presented in this publication is from various sources, therefore theVAULTmagazine cannot be held responsible for any accuracy, completeness or legalities. We ask that each reader take only one copy, unless your grabbing one for your friend. That is all.

2 theVAULTmagazine

M A RCH 2, 20 12


WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

3


INSIDE THE VAULT NEWS SNIPPETS SPY VS. SPY Soon after Public Safety Minister Vic Toews told Canadians they were either for Bill C-30, the Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act, or with the child pornographers, a backlash of unprecedented proportion against the bill and the minister came in many forms, but most strongly from the internet it is meant to monitor. First, a Twitter page sprang up nearly overnight, revealing details of the minister’s divorce, his mistress and the child they had together, questioning the socially conservative stance Toews has taken in his political career as well as the amount of taxpayer money spent at various restaurants across the country. @Vikileaks30’s IP address was traced to Ottawa and after accusations were thrown around in the House of Commons, a Liberal research staffer was revealed to be behind the tweets – Adam Carroll resigned the same day. Since then, the loosely-knit group of independent hackers, Anonymous, has also targeted Toews, announcing the name of his mistress and demanding his resignation, the scrapping of

Bill C-30 and similar bills, and an apology to Canadians before they reveal a scandal they say will force him to resign.

SUPPRESSING SCIENCE? Numerous groups of scientists, researchers and writers sent an open letter to Prime Minister Stephen Harper last month calling on his government to stop “muzzling” federal employees, alleging current government policy is denying public access to information regarding federally funded research about climate, environment and agriculture. Attendees to the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual conference in Vancouver heard numerous examples of supposed interference since 2007, soon after the protocol for accessing federal scientists and researchers was changed; a year after Harper’s Conservative government took power. Reporters are now referred to communications officers in a particular ministry, where a message is crafted for public consumption, whereas previously, scientists were allowed to be contacted directly and to express their opinions

Have you visited our website yet?

on the subjects they study and their findings. The Canadian Science Writers Association, World Federation of Science Journalists, Canadian Journalists for Free Expression and the Professional Institute of the Public Service of Canada were among the groups who signed the open-letter to the prime minister.

DOG BITES REPORTER A Denver television news reporter underwent reconstructive surgery last week after the dog she was reporting on bit her in the face. Reporter Kyle Dyer was covering a story about the 85-pound Argentine mastiff that was rescued from a reservoir after falling through ice while chasing a coyote the day before. The live segment on Denver’s KUSA-TV was meant to reunite the large canine’s owner and the firefighter who rescued him from certain death but instead turned into an emergency situation with the reporter sustaining serious injuries to her lip. The dog is being quarantined until a hearing can be held to determine its fate. Meanwhile,

the owner of the dog was charged with failure to have his dog on a leash, allowing a dog to bite and failure to have a vaccinated pet.

NEW DRUG DELIVERY SYSTEM DEVELOPED Researchers in Massachusetts have successfully tested a microchip implant that delivers drugs to some patients requiring daily injections. The microchip, about the size of your pinky fingernail, was implanted under the skin of seven women last year and successfully delivered osteoporosis medication over a period of 20 days. By replacing self-administered injections it is hoped the implant will improve patient compliance and maintain a constant level of the drug in the system. While afflictions like osteoporosis, multiple sclerosis and chronic pain could be treated successfully, researchers said it is unlikely such a delivery system could be utilized for diabetes, as the amount of insulin required daily to treat the disease is more than could fit onto a small microchip. The next step is to develop a chip that can hold a whole year’s

worth of medication for select ailments. The implant was found to be non-toxic and was implanted, then removed, under local anesthetic and the small amount of pain that resulted in some of the subjects was treated with non-prescription drugs, according to the peer-reviewed study.

NO DAY IN COURT FOR FIRST NATION Canada’s Supreme Court will not hear the Athabasca Chipewyan First Nation’s appeal that its treaty rights were violated when Shell’s Athabasca oil sands developments were approved by the province The First Nation says it was not properly consulted, as Treaty 8 states it should be, when the leases were granted in northeastern Alberta in 20062007. The initial request for a judicial review was denied because the application was filed more than six months after the projects were approved. The case was also dismissed in Provincial Court before the appeal was denied by the Supreme Court.

Local Nostalgia: Peace River Pig Races

www.thevaultmag.com Comment on stories, check out our YouTube picks, read exclusive web content, enter contests, read our archives, and find our advertising rates. 4 theVAULTmagazine

M A RCH 2, 20 12

Peace River Museum Archives & Mackenzie Centre 73.550.30

Men from the Russell boarding house in Peace River with their pigs (1914).


LOCAL

Oilmen's Norm Van Slyke (Left) and Babe McIlroy (Right) present Peace Regional Outreach Campus Principal, Carol Van Slyke (Centre), with a cheque for $750

OILMEN'S FUEL OUTREACH STUDENTS WITH FOOD On February 17, Babe McIlroy and Norm Van Slyke of the Mighty Peace Petroleum Association (MPAA) donated $750 to the Peace Regional Outreach Campus Food Program.

According to Breakfast for Learning, a non-profit organization that funds child nutrition programs in Canada, 62 per cent of high school students don’t eat a daily, healthy breakfast. Through donations and grants, the Outreach is able to turn $800 a month into approximately 350 hot breakfasts and 120 hot lunches. McIlroy has been with the Mighty Peace Petroleum Association, known to many simply as the Oilmen’s, since its inception.

“We started it ourselves. Nobody was here to help us. We later passed on some of the constitution and bylaws to High Prairie so they could get started,” said McIlroy.

also known as the Curling Bonspiel, is attended almost entirely by people involved in the oilpatch—each team of four can have one non-oilpatch member.

businessman wants to come into something, then he’s got to pay a $150 entrance fee. That money goes into the club so we can give it out to other youth groups,” said McIlroy.

For the past 30 years the association has raised money with their Annual Golf Tournament. The Golf Tournament brings in as many as 250 golfers and raises, on average, $20,000 every year.

“We do it for the fun of it. And once we put these events on, the money has to go someplace because we are a non-profit organization,” says McIlroy.

In addition, the Oilmen’s have been known to seize philanthropic opportunities. For example, last summer as Slave Lake residents began to rebuild after the devastating wildfire that ravaged their town, the winner of the Annual Golf Tournament’s 50/50 raffle decided to donate his $2,500 score, so the Mighty Peace Petroleum Association, in turn, matched it.

“The six guys who started it all decided that it was something we had to do—give the money we raise to the kids. Our mandate is that youth groups get all our money,” explains McIlroy. The Irish Brier, the MPAA second largest fundraiser, began in 1985. Like the golf tournament, the Irish Brier,

According to Norm Van Slyke, the MPAA has given out approximately $300,000 over the years. These funds have benefited organizations like Toys for Tots, the Salvation Army, minor hockey, and several school initiatives, just to name a few. “The money we raise is all from oil. We don’t go out and solicit from [other businesses]. If a

“We gave it to the Oilmen’s in Slave Lake, so they could put the money to use where it was most needed. I think it went to the kindergarten and daycare

down there.”

The Peace Regional Outreach Campus thanks the Mighty Peace Petroleum Association for their ongoing, generous annual contribution to their important Food Program. Meanwhile, the Oilmen’s are gearing up for this year’s Curling Bonspiel— March 16-18. For more information regarding about the Oilmen’s write: Mighty Peace Petroleum Association Box 7167 Peace River, AB T8S 1S8 For more information about the Peace Regional Outreach Campus or if you are interested in donating to the Food Program, call Carol at 780-6245534.

DON'T FORGET TO SPRING YOUR CLOCKS FORWARD AN HOUR ON MARCH 11--FROM 2AM TO 3AM. OTHERWISE, YOU COULD FIND YOURSELF BEHIND THE TIMES. Just a friendly note from theVAULTmagazine WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

5


6 theVAULTmagazine

M A RCH 2, 20 12


LOCAL

The fabulous display of snow sculptures, signs, and lights directly outside Carnaval de St-Isidore's main entrance February 17.

CArnaval de st-isidore: a success despite vandalism BY SUSAN THOMPSON

C

arnaval de St-Isidore, held Feb. 17-19, was a huge success. Maybe it was the fantastic weather, the new features such as the hockey tournament, or the lack of competition from pond hockey, but the turnout was a record for the Carnaval. Almost 2,000 people passed through during the Carnaval weekend and about 700 during the school days according to organizer Rachelle Bergeron. The famous maple snow taffy (la tire) and traditional food was

a hit as always, with poutine sales and more helping to raise money for Ecole Heritage and providing visitors with a taste of French culture. Despite the warm winter the Carnaval committee managed to get enough snow in place for numerous snow sculptures. Several excellent examples were entered into the snow sculpting competition. Delayne Corbett won the top prize in the Professional category with his beautiful sculpture of a woman dancing with fans, and the Joël Lavoie Band won in the amateur category.

The new Carnaval Idole competition was also a highlight, with Chantal Laverdière taking home the Grand Prize of $1000, and Léandre Bérubé winning Public's Choice.

Several were destroyed early on in the weekend despite valiant attempts by security to keep them safe. Some people just don’t appreciate art, sadly.

The sleigh rides proved as popular as always as did the bale maze and sledding hill, where happy kids and a few kids-atheart could be seen playing all weekend.

However, the rest of the weekend went off without a hitch with excellent performances by all entertainers, happy crowds, and a successful 30th anniversary dinner celebration for the Carnaval.

One of the only few disappointments of the weekend was the vandalism done to the sculpted snow decorations, which take hours to complete.

"Our focus on local artists and artisans is a winning feature on many levels including quality, patronage, ownership, economic development and

pride!" said Bergeron. Bergeron made sure to point out that Carnaval could not happen without the incredible support offered through Heritage Canada, the Alberta Foundation for the Arts, the Alberta Government's Secretariat francophone, and the community sponsors who help Carnaval provide an excellent program as well as creating revenue and opportunity for the Cultural Committee which is responsible for managing the St. Isidore Cultural Center.

There is only one thing left to say about this local cultural highlight. Vive le Carnaval!

WWW.THEVAULTMAG.COM WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

7


Technology

The Great Technology Struggle: HOW THE INTERNET HAS CHANGED HOW WE DEAL WITH OURSELVES AND OTHERS

BY JENELLE LIZOTTE

“We shape our tools, and afterwards our tools shape us.” Marshall McLuhan I have a predicable daily routine. I wake up, put on a pot of coffee, and go to my home office. With sleep still gluing my eyelids shut, I wake my computer from its slumber. My friends are waiting for me. Facebook. Twitter. Hotmail. Tumblr. They refresh to start the day. Were you, at any point, to go to my internet browser these guys would be keeping their guard in my browser’s tabs. It has been this way for years, with Tumblr being a relatively new addition to my arsenal. I, like countless others, have strict online habits—daily ones, weekly ones, and monthly ones. I got hooked on the net young, when I convinced my mom to try “AOL with 100 free hours!” The internet and I went through growing pains together. At 13, I was dialing up to chat with people from all over the world, absorbing knowledge about my favorite bands, and printing out pictures to adorn my collaged walls.

It was almost 22 years ago when Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web. On Christmas Day, 1990, BernersLee, along with CERN student Robert Cailiau successfully sent information with a Hyper Text Transfer Protocol (HTTP) client and a server via the internet. Now, decades later, we can Skype with people around the globe, play Words with Friends with celebrities, and tell the depths of the twitter-verse what we had for lunch. Really? Really? Is this the best we can do with this transformative technology? Edmonton-born media theorist Marshall McLuhan (19111980) once wrote, “One thing about which fish know exactly nothing is water, since they have no anti-environment which would enable them to perceive the element they live in.” This, I believe, can precisely describe our relationship to technology. We cannot pinpoint exactly how it is transforming the way we live in and interact with the world because we cannot divorce ourselves from it. Many media theorists who wrote of the ills of a rapid advancement of information technology warned that technology would advance so quickly that we would not have the capabilities to process the change. We would, therefore, not be able to adequately prepare for the repercussions. Technology is advancing with every nano-second. We

8 theVAULTmagazine

M A RCH 2, 20 12

unabashedly grab up every sleek gadget without batting an eyelash. Acclaimed author and media theorist Neil Postman once said, “Technology giveth and technology taketh away, and not always in equal measure.” It was Postman’s assertion that both winners and losers emerge from technological advancements, it is not, however, initially clear who is in either camp. Postman argues, “The computer is, in a sense, a magnificent toy that distracts us from facing what we most need to confront—spiritual emptiness, knowledge of ourselves, usable conceptions of the past and future.” In other words, Postman said that we are so dazzled by the next greatest techno-bauble that we are ignoring the real—we fail to acknowledge that which makes us human, visceral, and alive. In this regard, we are indeed the losers. Before technology had us in such a strangle-hold, our minds worked in a linear fashion. We all consumed the same media. We were all on the same page so to speak. We watched the same handful of channels, read the same newspapers, the same books. Now, the consumer has the upper hand. We are free to consume whatever media pleases us as individuals. We are free to seek out any kind of information no matter how frivolous or obscure, and we do

it at an accelerated rate.

down, you know what I mean.

We not only absorb and interact with information at a hummingbird’s pace, but we also interact with friends and family members in a similar fashion.

Similarly, parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships we form with high profile people, public personas, or even fictional characters from books, movies, or TV shows.

British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, who researched the dynamics of the social relationships of primates and humans, asserted that the number of relationships that humans can sustain stable relationships with to be 150. It is argued that the further past the Dunbar number you go, the more emotional strain you endure and the more these relationships suffer.

Parasocial relationships become more intense when, say, we follow a celebrity on a social media site. Because we are privy to their intimate details, we feel a sense of closeness to them and their lives. We may even form parasocial relationships with people we know. By following their lives of Facebook, we develop a façade of intimacy. We know things about them and they are unaware of our snooping.

A person’s peripheral friend base, or the “weak ties” in a person’s friend base, can include a loose affiliate or someone you went to grade school with. These relationships can be very useful as these people may have skills and resources not available in your immediate closer social circles. For example, if you need a mechanic you may opt for someone you know even marginally over a complete stranger. Maintaining such ties, however, can be time consuming and stressful. This attention can tax our ability to maintain our actual real life relationships. For example, if you’ve ever gone out for lunch with someone who just can’t put their damn phone

Humans are indeed social creatures. The internet has allowed us to increase our social reach. This reach has changed us for better and for worse. Sure we able to entertain ourselves in ways we never before dreamed before the internet but at what cost? We are satiating our superficial tastes and selfish whims, which may do more harm than good. In the end technology is only a tool. Tools are supposed to be useful in their own right—a means to an end. We must not lose sight of this. This technology has transformed our society. We should sharpen our tools, hone our skills, and use them appropriately.


Technology

PARENTING CHILDREN OF THE DIGITAL AGE

BY SUSAN THOMPSON

Today’s kids are the first truly digital generation. Texting, Facebook, Twitter and online gaming are the norm, just another part of the way they interact with the world on a dayto-day basis. Most parents, however, are a bit lost when it comes to that big scary internet. We know it can be dangerous, we know our kids use the technology, but unlike them we weren’t texting and playing Xbox as soon as we figured out we had thumbs. So how do parents actually, well, parent our digitally savvy kids? theVAULTmagazine has compiled a handy list of Dos and Don’ts to help. DON’T: Expect kids to completely avoid computers and everything associated with them. It might seem easiest to completely ban any digital interaction, but it’s pretty much impossible to do. You wouldn’t actually want to anyway, because the simple fact is that being tech-savvy has become an essential skill in our modern world. Even if you ban your kids from using the internet at home, they will be exposed to it at friends’ houses, on friends’ phones, and at school. DO: Set age-appropriate limits on computer/text/gaming time. It’s perfectly reasonable to set limits on the amount of time your kids spend online, texting, and gaming. Teaching your teenagers not to text at the dinner table, for example, better prepares them for school, where texting during class can become a fast track to academic failure, not to mention the future demands of the work world where spending all your time texting on the job will not exactly impress a boss. It’s also important to limit gaming time or allow it only after completing chores or homework, since gaming can easily become an addiction or take time away from priority tasks. DON’T: Expect parental filters to completely protect your children on the internet. There really is no filter that can filter out everything potentially dangerous or offensive from your children’s tender eyes. Filters are just programs,

and like any program, they are not particularly smart. Sometimes they filter out perfectly usable information (what is the male name for a rooster, for example?). Sometimes they can be fooled or hacked, often by your kids themselves. They also have one fatal flaw: they’re not on your kids’ friends’ phones or at all of their houses too.

posts kids make online might just be blowing off steam, trying to impress their friends, or trying out different identities. If your kids feel trusted, they’ll trust you, and be more willing to talk to you about their online lives.

DO: Teach your kids simple rules about the internet and monitor what they’re doing online.

Sadly, there seems to be an epidemic of kids taking their own lives because of the hurtful things said to them on the internet. Cyber bullying has become a real problem, and as a parent you might not even realize it’s happening. Even simple forum posts and chats can descend into angry arguments thanks to common internet practices like trolling, and if your child is not prepared, they will probably take it personally.

There really is no substitute for parental involvement. Ask your kids questions, in a conversational way, about what they’re doing online. Check over their shoulder now and then as they’re doing their homework. Keep an eye on their Facebook wall. Above all, talk to your kids and explain that there are some sites on the internet just for grownups, and that if they ever see a site that makes them feel uncomfortable or curious, they can ask you about it. Teach them never to give our personal information to anyone because some people lie and could be dangerous. Teach them that scams and scammers exist and how to recognize them. Talk about these issues with them in whatever way matches your comfort level, their age, and your family’s values, but talk often. Knowledge is power. DON’T: privacy.

Invade your children’s

This might be a hard one for many parents. Just like we feel entitled to search our kids’ rooms, we feel entitled to look at their accounts, browser history, their messages on Facebook, etc. However, this will quickly ruin your child’s trust and most likely drive any potentially suspect activity completely underground. DO: Have some trust, and become an online citizen yourself. A better tactic is to start off when your children are young monitoring almost all of what they do online, then allow them more and more privacy as they get older and prove their trustworthiness. Your teenager probably won’t want you reading their private messages, and if they have proved themselves to be trustworthy to that point, you shouldn’t need to. Also, remember that some of the

DON’T: Forget that cyber bullying hurts as much as real bullying.

DO: Explain to your kids that people on the internet are not very nice. Be aware that cyber bullying exists, and prepare your children to deal with it. Social networks let classroom bullies continue their bullying after school hours. Take it up with teachers and other parents if you find a classmate is targeting your child. In the online gaming world, a new player is likely to have anonymous wrath unleashed at them for every tiny little mistake until they get the hang of the game. Teach your kids that this is not the end of the world. Also, the sad fact is some people are out there just trying to spark angry reactions by posting mean and inflammatory things, and the absolute worst way to deal with these “trolls” is by arguing with them. Your kids might easily fall into this trap. Teach them not to feed the trolls. DO: Become a good online citizen yourself. The more parents understand what their kids are doing online, the better prepared they are to deal with any issues that may come up. If your kids are on Facebook, try using Facebook. Become familiar with Twitter. Challenge them to a game on Wii. Don’t forget to set a good example by setting limits on your own digital time and following your own digital rules. Last but not least, take some offline time with your kids now and then.

INTERNET USAGE IN CANADA 8 out of every 10 homes in Canada have internet access → 50% of these homes have more than 1 device that goes online.

THE HAVES AND HAVE-NOTS 97% of households in the top income quartile ($87,000 or higher) are online 54% households are in the lowest income quartile ($30,000 or less) are online BC and AB have the highest percentage of online households at 86% and 84%, respectively. NFLD & Lab and NB have the lowest at 73% and 70%, respectively.

ONLINE USERS ARE HOW OLD? Under 45: 94% 45-65: 80% 65-74: 51% 75+: 27%

TIME ONLINE 47% of users have 10 or more years of experience online. 76% use the internet at least once a day in a typical month.

NON-USERS 51% Seniors 62% of non-users did not use internet because no need/interest, not useful, no time 22%--no skills or training OR internet/computer too difficult to use 39% of non-users came from lowest income quartile

[Statistics Canada, 2010]

WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

9


SOCIAL COMMENT Weaver Study Offers Fossil Fuels Warning have to put up with every day. The study, published in Nature, says the opposite. Weaver and Swart set out to answer a simple question: “How much global warming would occur if we completely burned a variety of fossil fuel resources?” Their conclusion that burning all the coal or all the gas from the entire world’s resource bases would raise global average temperatures more than burning all the Alberta tar sands reserves is hardly a surprise. What is surprising is their finding that emissions from burning all the economically viable oil from the tar sands would only contribute to a 0.03°C rise in world temperatures, and burning the entire tar sands oil in place would add 0.36° C. That may not seem like much, but we need to put it in context.

Science Matters Vol. 14, No. 7 21 February 2012

… raises even more skepticism about the entire science behind global warming.”

BY DAVID SUZUKI

The writer went on to argue that the report by University of Victoria climate scientist Weaver and PhD student Neil Swart is an “awakening for David Suzuki and his environmental followers.”

It was inevitable that climate change deniers and some oil industry promoters would misinterpret a study by scientist Andrew Weaver before reading beyond the headlines. A letter in the Calgary Herald actually claimed that “Weaver's revelation

It’s typical of the nonsense people who understand science

each of the 340 million people in the U.S. and Canada – about 75 per cent of the U.S. and Canada’s global per capita allocation. If we include emissions from the extraction process, it rises to 90 per cent or more. The study doesn’t consider any other environmental consequences of the tar sands either, from water use and pollution to destruction of boreal habitat. In fact, a recently uncovered memo prepared for the federal government claims that damage from the tar sands may be irreversible and could pose a “significant environmental and financial risk to the province of Alberta.” The memo focused on rising emissions and damage from tailings ponds, among other effects. It concluded that “the cumulative impacts of oilsands development are not adequately understood.”

First, the study looked only at the emissions from burning the fuels and not from extracting, refining, or transporting them. The report’s authors explain that these additional emissions “would come from the other resource pools and shouldn't be double-counted.”

Our rush to get at the bitumen is also threatening wildlife and habitat. Conservation officers killed 145 black bears that got too close to the operations last year. And rather than protecting caribou habitat from destruction as extraction increases, the federal government has decided to kill wolves that prey on caribou instead.

If we are to avoid a 2° C increase in global temperatures, each person in the world would be allocated 80 tonnes of emissions over the next 50 years. The emissions from burning all the tar sands oil that is now economically viable (the reserves) would represent 64 tonnes of carbon for

On the political front, the European Union recently failed to pass its Fuel Quality Directive, which would have labelled tar sands oil as carbon intensive and undesirable for import, but that fight isn’t over.

As I’ve said before, we’re not going to stop using oil overnight, so we will continue to use tar sands products, at least in the short to medium term. But the best ways to limit environmental impacts are to slow down and to ensure the highest environmental standards are met and that we are getting maximum value for the oil to which all Canadians have a right. As Weaver and Swart conclude: “If North American and international policymakers wish to limit global warming to less than 2° C they will clearly need to put in place measures that ensure a rapid transition of global energy systems to non-greenhouse-gasemitting sources, while avoiding commitments to new infrastructure supporting dependence on fossil fuels.” That doesn’t mean putting pipelines through pristine wilderness, extracting bitumen as quickly as possible, and shipping it off to China in supertankers. It does mean we have to find ways to stop using coal and gas as well as oil. As Weaver points out, “The tar sands are a symptom of a bigger problem. The bigger problem is our societal dependence on fossil fuels.” Written with contributions from David Suzuki Foundation Editorial and Communications Specialist Ian Hanington. Learn more at www.davidsuzuki.

org.

DID YOU KNOW?

Every week we give away prizes on our blog? Check us out every Friday for your chance to win!

www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com 10 theVAULTmagazine

M ARCH 2, 20 12


Commu n ity Ca lend a r Pu llout Email us at thepit@thevaultmag.com to add your event to the calendar ALL INFORMATION PRESENTED IN THIS CALENDAR IS GATHERED FROM A VARIETY OF SOURCES. THEVAULTMAGAZINE ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY MISREPRESENTED INFORMATION. WE MEAN WELL. ANY CORRECTIONS OR COMPLIMENTS CAN BE DIRECTED TO THEVAULTMAGAZINE@HOTMAIL.COM

The Ukrainian Canadian Research & Documentation Centre Presents a Travelling Exhibition

The Barbed Wire Solution Ukrainian & Canada's First Internment Operations 1914-1920

at the

PEACE RIVER MUSEUM, ARCHIVES AND MACKENZIE CENTRE until the end of April

780-624-4261 • WWW.PEACERIVERMUSEUM.COM

Add your event to our Calendar Pullout Section!

Happy Anniversary! Call us to find out how! I love you dear. k+1 780-624-1985

I can't help... buying a shoutout for you for only $24.99

Happy 55th Birthday Dave!


B

Berwyn/Brownvale

C

Cadotte Lake

D

DIXONVILLE

F

Falher

F

Fairview

G

Girouxville

Peace River P

G

Grimshaw

St. Isidore S

FRI, MAR 2 P

P

STORYTIME (Family) - PR Municipal Library 10:30am - Every Friday. Up to age 5. Story and Craft. Parent or Caregiver participation required. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

Hines Creek H Jean Cote J Nampa N Manning M McLennan M

PROUD TO SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY! Inquire about coffee for your next event.

H PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Hines Creek Arena

1-5pm. $2.

SUN, MAR 4 F

ZEN MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Fine Arts Centre 10am - For more info call Eileen at 780-494-3410.

MON, MAR 5 P INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec

Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

ICE RACE MARATHON (Sports) - George Lake

F 10:30am (racers sign in 8:30-9am) - Presented by the

Fairview Motorcross Assn & C-Bone Construction & Maintenance. Open to all Motorcycles and ATVs. Cash payout for pro classes. Concession. $5 or $10 per car load. $80 per rider. AMB transponder required. $40 transponder rental fee. 1st time rider: transponder rental fee is free. Contact Darian for more info 780-834-8454 or darian@cyclewest.ca

DROP IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership, FREE with a gym membership. Every Friday. SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Mile Zero Regional G Multiplex 4-5pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.

H

P PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James

more info call 780-836-3737. THE IMPROVISED MUSICAL WORKSHOP (Theatre) P Athabasca Hall - 4-day workshop over 2 weekends

Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

(Feb 25&26 and Mar 3&4) w/ Bracken Burns and Gavin Whitworth. $50. Presented by Peace Players. Application forms available at Style Ryte. Limited positions available.

SAT, MAR 3 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Grace G United Church. 8pm - Every Saturday. For more info call 780-624-4710.

GIANT FLEA MARKET & GARAGE SALE (Community) -

P Belle Petroleum Centre 12-4pm - To reserve a table or

for more info call 780-624-8318 P

THE IMPROVISED MUSICAL WORKSHOP (Theatre) -

P Athabasca Hall - 4-day workshop over 2 weekends

(Feb 25&26 and Mar 3&4) w/ Bracken Burns and Gavin Whitworth. $50. Presented by Peace Players. Application forms available at Style Ryte. Limited positions available. McKINNEY HALL TRUMP WHIST CARD TOURNAMENT P (Community) - McKinney Hall 7pm - Free public event. Coffee and Light Snacks will be served. For more info email mckinneyhall@gmail.com P

GIANT FLEA MARKET & GARAGE SALE (Community) Belle Petroleum Centre 11-4pm - To reserve a table or for more info call 780-624-8318 BILINGUAL STORYTIME (Family) - Peace River

P Municipal Library 2pm - Ages 3-5. Join us for two stories

one in English and one in French and a craft. Parent or caregiver participation required.

JESSIE DEE & JACQUIE B (Music) - Belle Petroleum Centre 7:30pm - This dynamic duo will be touring for their latest album "Our ghosts fill the walls." Tix $20/ adv or $30/door. For more info call 780-624-8318. FREE SKATE (Family) - Baytex Energy Centre 5-6:30pm

P - Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services.

H FREE SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek

project of your choosing. $75. Instructor: Ed Jaeger. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664 or email learnlit@telus.net

PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Municipal Library 10-11:30pm - For more info call 780-322-3954.

P

N

WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library G 7:30pm - Every Mon. For more info call Gordon at 780-332-1732. GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall M 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun. F DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Rec Centre 5:30-7pm - Every Mon. $6 with gym membership, FREE with membership.

United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm -

P Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch

card. For more info call 780-624-8838. P

P

Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All preschool children welcome.

Arena 5-6pm.

TRADITIONAL NATIVE DANCE CLASSES (Dance) Sagitawa Friendship Centre (Lower Level) 7-8pm - All Ages. 9 & under must have a parent present. 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

P PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James

M

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church (upstairs) 7:30pm - For more information call Sharon at 780-624-8778.

M MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall

P NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River

H FREE PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Hines Creek

Arena 4-5pm.

FEARLESS CARPENTRY (Education) - Jaeger Shop

P

Donation. Every Monday barring holidays. For more info email peacezenspa@hotmail.com

CONVERSATION CORNER (Community) - Club Etoile 12-3pm - Lunch, Funtime Bingo & Sing-a-Long. For more info visit www.smokyriverfcss.com

M 7pm - Learn basic carpentry skills. Make a small

P MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Zen Spa 5:45pm - Loonie

M Every Sunday until Mar 11. Refreshments provided. For

Centre 1pm - FREE. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664.

SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek Arena 8:15-10pm. $2.

G

G SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 3:30-4:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.

WHIST DRIVE (Community) - Hotchkiss Hall 7pm -

M ESL CLASSES (Education) - Community Learning

POSITIVE PARENTING WORKSHOP (Family) - 7:30-9pm G - Sponsored by the Grimshaw FCSS and the PRSD. FREE but must register to reserve a seat. Iformaiton suitable from toddler to teens. For more info or to reserve a seat call 780-322-1110.

YOGA (Well-Being) - Senior Citizen’s Centre 5:15pm Beginner & Intermediate. BYO Mats & Blankets. Drop ins $12. (Tuesdays from Jan 10 - Apr 17). For more info call 780-624-4249. PEACE CHALLENGERS TOASTMASTER CLUB (Self Help) - Northlands Sch. Div. (9809-77 Ave) 7:30pm - Learn to speak with confidence & professional leadership skills. Every Tues. For more info call Cindy 780-624-4890.

WED, MAR 7 READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - PR Municipal

P YOGA (Well-Being) - Senior Citizen’s Centre 4pm Beginner and Intermediate. BYO Mats and Blanket. Drop-ins $12. (Sundays from Jan 15 - Apr 15). For more info call 780-624-4249. P BUSKING AT THE BELLE (Music) - Belle Centre Mocha

Room 7:30-11pm - Admission is $5, performers are free. Musicians bring your tip jar or instrument case.

TUES, MAR 6 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s P United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710

P Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your read-

ing skills). Every Wed. For more info call 780-624-4076. G

PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 3:30-4:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.


TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) G Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443

SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Mile Zero Regional G Multiplex 4-5pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.

C PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 1:30-3pm - Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-322-3954.

P PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James

P

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

P

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 1 - 2pm. Every Wed. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed. www.prsoupkitchen.org

F

DROP IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) GPRC Community Rec Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership, FREE with a gym membership. Every Friday

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec P Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

YOGA (Well-Being) - Senior Citizen’s Centre 4pm -

P - Northlands Sch. Div. (9809-77 Ave) 7:30pm - Learn

Drop-ins welcome. $12. (Sundays from Jan 15 - Apr 15). For more info call 780-624-4249.

to speak with confidence & professional leadership skills. Every Tues. For more info call Cindy 780-624-4890.

P

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall

M 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone

F

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday. For more information call 780-624-4710 DEVELOPMENTAL PLAYGROUP (Family) - United Church Basement 1-2:30pm - Gross and Fine Motor Skills, Social Skills, Healthy Snacks, Music and Crafts. Every Thursday.

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 P Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838. M INTERNET/COMPUTER CLASSES (Education) -

Community Adult Learning Centre - Basic Internet & Facebook: 3:30pm. Basic Computer: 4:30pm, Basic Computer Level 2: 5:30pm. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664.

M GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

P Centre 1 - 2pm. Every Wed. Bring Indoor Shoes and a

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Grace G United Church. 8pm - Every Saturday. For more info call 780-624-4710.

MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Zen Spa 5:45pm - Loonie P Donation. Every Monday barring holidays. For more info email peacezenspa@hotmail.com

P Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed. www.prsoup-

SWEETHEART BANQUET (Dance) - Fairview F Alliance Church - $50 per couple. For more info call 780-835-3815.

G WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library 7:30pm - Every Mon. For more info call Gordon at 780-332-1732.

PRISM LIVE (Music) - Belle Petroleum Centre 9pm - Tix ($30/adv or $40/door) available at the Main Street Shell or at the Belle Centre 780-624-8318.

H SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek Arena

SAT, MAR 10

P

P

H

BILINGUAL STORYTIME (Family) - Peace River Municipal Library 2pm - Ages 3-5. Join us for two stories one in English and one in French and a craft. Parent or caregiver participation required. PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Hines Creek Arena 1-5pm. $2.

SUN, MAR 11 DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME BEGINS! Set your clock ahead one hour at 2am.

F ZEN MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Fine Arts Centre 10am

M

M

P

OL' TYME FAMILY NIGHT (Family) - Elk's Hall 6:30pm - Potluck and dance. For more info visit www.smokyriverfcss.com ESL CLASSES (Education) - Community Learning Centre 1pm - FREE. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

M MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary

- Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services.

G

FREE SKATE (Family) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 2-4pm- Sponsored by the ATB in Grimshaw.

H FREE PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Hines Creek Arena 4-5pm.

G

P

PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 2-3:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005. THE IMPROVISED MUSICAL WORKSHOP (Theatre) Athabasca Hall - 4-day workshop over 2 weekends (Feb 25&26 and Mar 3&4) w/ Bracken Burns and Gavin Whitworth. $50. Presented by Peace Players. Application forms available at Style Ryte. Limited positions available.

Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James kitchen.org

H SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek Arena

8:15-10pm. $2.

PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Mile Zero Regional G Multiplex 3:30-4:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005. P

Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All preschool children welcome.

P INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec

G

Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Rec Centre F 5:30-7pm - Every Mon. $6 with gym membership, FREE with membership. GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall M 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun. P PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James

PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Municipal Library 10-11:30pm - For more info call 780-322-3954.

TUES, MAR 13 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s P United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710 TRADITIONAL NATIVE DANCE CLASSES (Dance) P Sagitawa Friendship Centre (Lower Level) 7-8pm - All Ages. 9 & under must have a parent present. P ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP (Self

Help) - St. Paul’s United Church (upstairs) 7:30pm - For more information call Sharon at 780-624-8778.

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Manning Legion M Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443.

THURS, MAR 15 M MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall

11-12pm - Tues & Thurs. FREE Everyone welcome!

P N

READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - PR Municipal Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your reading skills). Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-624-4076.

BOOK BUGS (Family) - New Horizon Centre 10-11:30am G - FREE program for children ages 0-6. For more info call Tracey at 780-835-3273.

Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed. www.prsoupkitchen.org

M WHIST DRIVE (Community) - Hotchkiss Hall 7pm -

Every Sunday until Mar 11. Refreshments provided. For more info call 780-836-3737.

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec

8:15-10pm. $2.

- For more info call Eileen at 780-494-3410.

P FREE SKATE (Family) - Baytex Energy Centre 5-6:30pm

STORYTIME (Family) - Peace River Municipal Library P 10:30am - Every Friday. Up to age 5. Story and Craft. Parent or Caregiver participation required.

WED, MAR 14

SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Mile Zero Regional G Multiplex 3:30-4:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.

C KID’S CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 4-5:30pm Ages 6-9. Every Thurs. For more info call 780-322-3954.

FRI, MAR 9

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

C PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 1:30-3pm - Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-322-3954.

welcome! P

P

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

P

8:15-10pm. $2.

THURS, MAR 8

BUSKING AT THE BELLE (Music) - Belle Centre Mocha Room 7:30-11pm - Admission is $5, performers are free. Musicians bring your tip jar or instrument case.

MON, MAR 12

H SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek Arena

G BOOK BUGS (Family) - New Horizon Centre 10-11:30am - FREE program for children ages 0-6. For more info call Tracey at 780-835-3273.

PEACE CHALLENGERS TOASTMASTER CLUB (Self Help)

P Beginner and Intermediate. BYO Mats and Blanket.

MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7:30pm - -25 degrees or lower cancels meditation.

C KID’S CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 4-5:30pm Ages 6-9. Every Thurs. For more info call 780-322-3954. GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall M 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun. HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 -

P Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase

a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838. INTERNET/COMPUTER CLASSES (Education) -

M Community Adult Learning Centre - Basic Internet

& Facebook: 3:30pm. Basic Computer: 4:30pm, Basic Computer Level 2: 5:30pm. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s P United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710


Artist Directory INKED IN MALICE

Band (Dan Binks: Lead guitar, vocals, songwriter. Stephen Knudsen: Rhythm guitar) Melodic acoustics to technical metal. Working on demo. reverbnation.com/inkedinmalice

ART BY TARAS

Airbrushing (custom painted art on canvas, wall murals, helmets, clothing) airbrushartists.org/ hotrodzz34

EPHEMERA

Band (Buzz Lorenzen, lead vocals, guitar, songwriter. Anjil Shimoon, cello, backing vocals, extreme sexiness.) drbuzzmd@yahoo.com

SHANNON BROWN

Oil Painter (Recently graduated from NSCAD university. Shannon is practising the art of painting through landscape oil paintings, murals and is now using neon acrylics. shane_browndotcom@hotmail.com

CJ LYONS

Works by commission in acrylic, graphite, charcoal and digital design. Gallery at meganekko-bomb.deviantart.com caylah.lyons@hotmail.com

VERNON LEDGER

Musician (Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals. Band: A New Direction. Teaches Song Writing, Jams, Available for events.) 780-624-2693 nervedge1984@live.com

MARY WARREN

Graphite & Ink (Realistic to animated, I enjoy working with nearly all mediums and art forms. I also dabble in clothing design.) sickyslimys@hotmail.com

SUSAN THOMPSON

Dancer (Belly dance, fire dance, fire fans, palm torches, LED fans, choreographed or freestyle, go-go dancing) vantom@xplornet.com FB: Sisu Belly Dance

MARIE ELDSTROM

Photographer (Owns House of E Photographic Imagery. Book a session. Tell your story. Promises a unique and exciting experience. Portraits & Prints.) marieeldstrom@gmail.com houseofphotographicartistry. blogspot.com

CAROLYN GERK

Pencil, Acrylic, & Watercolor (Portraits, landscapes, still life, children’s decor, murals, personalized items, decorative art and gifts. Requests welcome) 780-625-1215 carolyn.2345@hotmail.com FB: Creative Design by Carolyn

ALECIA VOGEL

Singer/Songwriter (Gravitates more towards the pop/ folk side of things. Also in the midst of releasing a demo and loving every moment of it.) aleciahh@gmail.com 780-625-7329

SARAH SHUDRA

LEAH WOOD

Photographer (Do you want unique photos? Order your session today!) 780-618-8204 leahwoodphotography.com leahwoodphotography.com/ blog ARIANA HAMMERBERG Oil, Acrylic, & Watercolour (Landscapes,abstract,mixed media) 780-625-1794 ahammerberg@yahoo.com FB: Paintings by Ariana

Dancer (Director of Bongo Studio, Latin instructor, Zumba instructor, choreographer and professional dancer of Peruvian music) 780-625-7428 sarashudra@yahoo.es AMANDA MANDEVILLE Photographer/Artist (Creative Lark Photography & Fine Art. "I offer professional, artistic, & fun photos for any occasion.") 780-625-5242 creativelarkphotography.com

Are you an artist or musician who would like to be featured in the artist directory?

GRIMSHAW | 780 . 332 . 2132 w w w. c a n t e c h e l e c t r i c . c o m

email your info to

thepit@thevaultmag.com


ARTS

BANKSY, NAKED MAN, BRISTOL ENGLAND

BANKSY, SHOP 'TIL YOU DROP, LONDON, ENGLAND

Painted on the side of a Sexual Health building this piece sparked much controversy. After much support, however, city Council decied to leave the work on the building

Street Art: Waiting For a Fresh Layer Of Paint BY MARY WARREN

O

ne of the most controversial art forms, street art has recently been plunged into the spotlight thanks, in part, to British street artist Banksy. Street art is often ignored, destroyed by authorities or snuffed out by other artists. These adversities, however, essentially drive graffiti to be stronger and more powerful due to its freedom and lack of elitism which can be prevalent in mainstream art communities. Street art is the ultimate freedom of expression. Unfortunately, it has been a great battle for talented graffiti artists to even have their work accepted as art. Street art is often overlooked as nonsense mischief and vandalism, few recognize the underlying messages street

artists leave.

frequently depicting a greater message about the current The frequency of taggers also social environment. You can further deteriorates many learn a lot about a particular opinions of street art. Taggers place from street art. It may usually just want a claim to depict societal problems such fame with a quick scrawl of as drug abuse or gangs. It may the name or a simple “I was be more politically-fuelled, here.” Prominent taggers highlighting corruption. will scribble their names anywhere and everywhere. Street art is the epitome of Arguably, without the freedom. There are no rules beginnings of tagging, there dictated by a buyer’s market. would be no adaption into No requirements of what wild style, and full blown you can or can’t express. pieces of art. Likely, it is because of this freedom that street art is so misunderstood. Conservative “If you want to find figures of society merely see misdirected angry youth out about a city want cause harm; au read the writing on who contraire.

the walls.” - Toonz

Once street artists find their voice, their art truly blooms. Murals come to life,

“It’s a beautiful crime.” - Spine Street art is the true definition of what art should be. It

risks legal action, possible gang violence, overly zealous vigilante figures and much more to relay a message to those who will actually stop to take a look. Constantly evolving, you cannot simply label street art and lump it into a corner like every other art form. It is explosive, expansive and utterly unbeatable.

Because of society’s negative outlook of graffiti the larger picture often gets overlooked.

wheat paste are sharing their ideas and talent with their area. Occasionally they may even spread it across a city or country via trains. Some may even travel abroad to spread the word. Street art is about owning one’s voice. When society is overwhelmed with countless voices, street art gives you the soap box and the megaphone. Street art is for self and for all who care to recognize.

Granted, not all graffiti is street art. A lot of graffiti is vandalism—senseless, redundant, and pointless. But when graffiti is taken to that next level, when the artist actually has something This is when a step back worthwhile to say the message needs to be taken to realize elevates the medium. this is something beautiful and progressive. Instead of doing drugs, kids who pick To the street artist, the world up a spray can or bucket of is a canvas, just waiting for a fresh layer of paint.

WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

15


FOOD & DRINK Shiraz is Syrah, but did it come from Shiraz?

BY RAYMOND MYLES

W

hen I started my formal wine education, it became apparent that many of the anecdotal stories I was told over the years had little basis in truth. One of the folklores is the heritage of Australia’s signature wine, Shiraz. There is an urban tale that is told of European crusaders invading Persia and conquering the city of Shiraz. The victorious soldiers discovered some of the world’s finest tasting wine. The commander of the crusade ordered his soldiers to take cuttings from the vines and replant

the cuttings in the Rhone region of southeastern France. Along with the cuttings came the name Shiraz (after the city in which the vines originated). Once replanted in Western Europe, and as time went on, the word Shiraz was repronounced into French as the word Syrah. For the next 1,800 years it was cultivated and used mostly as a blending grape. Its deep red colour and bold taste was used to make a deep red rich wine using the old-world winemaking methods. Most popular was a blend called Hermitage. Another legend tells the story of how the Syrah vine was introduced into Spain and France by the hermits of the Pyrenees Mountains who traded with the Persians of Shiraz. During the 1830s Scottish-born James Busby, known as Australia’s grandfather of winemaking, brought the Syrah vine to the world down-under with the intention of cultivating a wine industry there. Many of these vines were planted in the Hunter Valley and later found their way to southern Australia. The Syrah grape became an important part of this new-world wine industry. Australian wineries used the Syrah grape in fortified wines sold as Australian Port but experienced impossible barriers when trying

to sell Australian Syrah using the Hermitage brand name. It was decided to rename the wine to the so-called original name of the grape, hence Shiraz. This is a romantic story, but it is not based on fact and is not supported with science. The selling of wine is full of romantic tales and myths that seldom hold up. The wine that was made in the city of Shiraz at the time of the crusades was a white wine called Shirazi. It is highly unlikely any of the crusaders made it all the way to Persia in the Middle East because the crusades were fought in the Holy Land or the Near East. The hermits or Basque people of the Pyrenees were seafaring whalers. There are remains of historic Basque settlements in Newfoundland and other northern Atlantic outpost, but none in Persia. In 1999, the mysteries and legends came to an end when viniculture scientist Carole Meredith, PhD, did DNA testing and found that Syrah and Shiraz were identical, both parented by two obscure French grapes. The Dureza grape was the father and Mondeuse grape the mother.

taste alike. Some claim it is the terroir (soil, climate, and terrain) that makes the difference. While the argument of terroir is controversial, the real difference in taste is probably caused by two very different winemaking styles. Many French Syrahs are made using the traditional old-world methods, which call for years of aging after production. Most Shiraz wines, on the other hand, are made with new-world fruitforward techniques and are ready to drink earlier with less acids and more fruity flavour but do not improve much with aging. If you took a bottle of each wine from a three-year-old vintage, most would agree, the Shiraz tastes better, but if you aged those bottles for another 5 to 8 years or so, the Syrah would be the clear winner. There are plenty of new-world Shiraz wines that sell between $12 and $15 dollars that are ready to drink today. On the other hand, find a French Syrah, around $15 and put it away into dark cool dry storage and lay it on its side. Open it for New Year’s dinner in 2020, and you will be happy you put it away. Savor what you enjoy. Cheers.

While the grape is the same, seldom does a Shiraz and Syrah

ODDITIES

espresso, a shot of soy milk, caramel flavoring, banana & strawberry puree, vanilla beans, Matcha powder, protein powder and a drizzle of caramel and mocha.

COMPILED BY MARY WARREN

popularity of the show it would encourage children to drink. In fact, one popular brewary in Australia attempted to create their own Duff beer. Due to the popularity of The Simpsons they didn’t even have to advertise! This was short lived, as they were promptly sued by Matt Groening.

SIMPSON BEER SNAFU

COSTLY COFFEE

Any Simpson’s fan knows what Homer’s favorite beer is: Duff. A cheap beer that is advertised everywhere in Springfield. This would be pretty good advertising for a real version of Duff beer, if Simpson's creator Matt Groening would license it. However, Matt Groening is strongly against the licensing of a Duff beer because nobody wants to be held liable for promoting the sale of alcohol to minors. Groening fears due to the

Generally, you won't pay more than a couple bucks for a cup of coffee. Unless, of course, you’re out to spend as much money as possible in a Starbucks trenta cup. The bill came to $23.60 and the result? A slightly smoothie like beverage containing 1400mg of caffeine, effectively leaving the taste of Jillian Michaels with a touch of Chuck Norris. This monstrosity consisted of: a Java Chip Frappuccino, 16 shots of

They say age makes the wine. Well, what about 4.5 billion-year-old meteorites? Meteorito is a wine brewed with grapes and a 3-inch meteorite. The meteorite is placed in a wooden barrel with the grapes for 25 days. The creator’s explanation is that this is a physical tribute to his passions of life which are astrology and enology. Although the wine can be bought at $7 a bottle, it can only be found at the astronomy centre near the vinyards. The inventor said the meteorite gives the wine a ‘livelier’ taste.

16 theVAULTmagazine

MARCH 2, 20 12

AGE OLD WINE


theVAULTmagazine

P:(780)624-1985 E:thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com

in$tant ca$h back

Walk in with your taxes, walk out with your money. Instantly. Peace River 780-624-5700 Grimshaw 780-332-1721 Wal-Mart 780-624-5799 Valleyview 780-524-5995

one stop

maximum refund

we make taxes easy.

hrblock.ca


LIFESTYLE

The Power of Positive THinking I

recently challenged myself to changing how my mind works. I am an overanalytical, one-step-ahead, worrying type and I made it my personal, internal goal to be more positive and focus on what I want out of life rather than focus on the current hardships I have going on.

BY LINDSEY ULASZONEK “Change your thoughts, and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale

I have been reading a lot of books and blogs about how powerful the mind really is and it’s astonishing to think how a small change of thought can lead to big changes in life. Now, somewhere deep down I knew just how powerful the mind was because my father is

LIQUOR STORE

an avid “positive-thinker.” He has always taught me that by thinking positively and being grateful for what you do have, you can shape your future by the simple power of positive thought. Basically asking the universe for what you want, knowing inside that you can get it, and taking the steps to achieve what you want. Most people go through a bad situation and dwell on the negative experience—and in doing so they manifest more bad. Very few people go through a bad situation and think about the good that has come from that negative incident or how

LAUNDROMAT

worse off things could have been. It’s those few people who put things into perspective and make a negative into a positive that have success in life. And I do not mean just financial success, but success in relationships, career, health, and emotional wellbeing.

challenge to retrain your brain, but I can guarantee you that it’s worth it.

Within my research I have found that it is simply up to you to decide how you feel and in turn shape where you want to go in life. You have to actively train your brain to think positively and be grateful for the things you have. This positive thinking will bring you good things. It will be a

I think we often lose sight of how powerful our minds are and how important it is to be happy and positive. Like attracts like – so shape your own world by thinking positive!

Don’t ever forget how powerful the mind is. Focusing on something good, even if it’s just a distant thought, can bring you peace and positivity.

CARWASH

12’ Liquor Store 12’ Laundromat 12’ Carwash 18 theVAULTmagazine

M ARCH 2, 20 12


LIFESTYLE The Oral Tradition: An Important Legacy wagon as far as Lubicon Lake then in a vehicle from there. We moved during the summer months to the Peace River area so that our family could work for the farmers. Many other northern Cree and Metis families also worked for farmers during the summer months.

BY BILLY JOE LABOUCAN

I

sat listening to that wonderful, almost magical sound of the droning eighteen wheels zipping along the blacktop into the distance. A moment ago a fast tractor and trailer hurtled past me with a thunderous noise and exhaust. Then, in an instant, it was just a pleasant drone, almost like a bee or fly bouncing around on a window—its buzzing slowly dying. I got up from the shade of trees along the paved highway where I’d been enjoying the quiet evening tinged with a nostalgic feeling. I wandered back to our camp by the highway. I missed the covered wagon—the one my father had bent a round frame of willows over where a canvas cover could be quickly thrown over and secured should it suddenly rain. I missed the companionship of the horses too, but they were no longer required here in the farming community. I climbed onto my imaginary wagon seat and resumed my imaginary trip. I grabbed the ropes tied to the single tree at the tip of the pole, and yelled, “‘Aw right! Paddy! Mabel! Giddiyup!” It was 1960, and I was six-yearsold. My parents, my eldest brother, and I had driven here in a pick-up truck for the first time. Prior to this year, we used horses and a wagon to travel anywhere. We had traveled by horses and

My name is Billy Joe Laboucan. I work for Kee Tas Kee Now Tribal Council in administration where I am the Director of Education. I am from the Lubicon Lake area where we lived on the shores close to Gull Creek. Although I didn’t start day school in Little Buffalo until I was nineyears-old, along the years I have continued with my education. To date, I have graduated with a bachelor’s degree in linguistics (the scientific study of languages) and a master’s

Billy Joe Laboucan at age 6

degree in education. During this time of my childhood, our summer home was at Gull Creek and our winter home was in Bison Lake during the winter and spring trapping seasons. My two older sisters and one older brother were at St. Bruno’s Residential School operated by Oblate priests and nuns. My other siblings, two older sisters and another older brother had also attended a residential school. I was spared that trauma as my parents would hide me when the residential school officials

would come to gather the boys and girls for another year. This is why I didn’t go to a mainstream school until I was nine-yearsold.

stories, songs, and chants. They help you to remember. When you are taught in this way, in an experiential setting, your memory retention is better.

In the next while, I will illustrate for you, the plight of my family on how they made their livelihood in the Peace River country.

For the first nine years of my life, especially from age 5, I was taught stories in the Cree language with the Cree world view. I learned legends, North American history and about our own family history. I learned about the land, plants and animals. I also learned of the Treaties that had been made between Aboriginal people and Canadian people for the sharing of this land. I enjoyed the lessons and often reminisce about them now that I am older.

One genre of relationship building is story-telling, which helps people learn about themselves in a non-interference approach. Not unlike pop culture today. So, rather than blatantly pointing out what someone is doing wrong, a story is told and hopefully the right choice is derived. Then it’s up to that person to understand and apply that teaching within their lifestyle. This is a good counseling technique, one that makes you into a positive and independent learner in your quest for your answers.

My father trapped during the winter and spring seasons up until 1978 when the European fur embargo almost wiped out the fur trade. It was no longer a form of viable livelihood. My parents, as well as us children, spent over 30 summers on various farms doing field work. Before the machinery replaced horses, my father worked on threshing machine crews as well as land clearing. That era still holds a tremendous amount of fond memories, and adds many more stories in the continuing quest of knowledge.

Oral tradition was the pedagogy before mainstream education. It was reinforced by experiential learning. Storytelling was my main mode of education before I was nine years. Although it isn’t a mainstream method, it continues to be an effective way for teaching others. For my parents and grandparents, education was through indigenous pedagogy in the oral tradition. The oral tradition incorporates and informs the oral literature with its many different types of stories. Similar to English literature, there are many agreed upon conventions such as a plot and characterization as well as a beginning, middle and an end. Some stories have many different episodes and volumes. Days, even years, can be spent telling stories—and often were, thus achieving a high level of understanding. Indigenous education started early and continued on adulthood. If you can understand a story, your education has begun. This kind of teaching relies on memory work. For example, if you are learning about plants and their medicinal uses you have to learn how to identify each plant in the field. You would learn its uses and active ingredients, and how to prepare it. These teachings have mnemonic devices built in as

tax tip$ for $tudents Get credit for textbooks: A post-secondary student can claim $65 for every month they qualify for the education amount. Part-time students can claim $20 per qualifying month. But the credit does not depend on how many textbooks you purchase – it is standard for every student who qualifies. Enjoy a tax-free scholarship: Scholarships and bursaries are tax free if the related program qualifies for the education amount. This includes scholarships at the elementary and secondary school level, but not post-doctoral. Get on the bus: For students who depend on transit to get to campus, keep your passes to claim the Transit Tax Credit. The program also includes some electronic tickets and weekly passes purchased for four consecutive weeks. You need the receipts and transit passes to back up your claim. Get the GST credit: Students turning 19 before April 1, 2013 should file a 2011 tax return even if they had no income. This will allow them to collect the GST/HST credit for the first payment period following their birthday. Tuition credits add up: No matter who paid the tuition, the student will receive a T2202A for the amount of tuition paid for 2011. If you do not receive a T2202A, you cannot claim tuition. The form allows you to claim tuition and education amounts as well as the Textbook Tax Credit. Sharing education credits: A student must use their tuition and education amounts on their tax return first to reduce their tax payable to zero before deciding whether to transfer an amount to a parent, grandparent or spouse. The student can transfer up to $5,000 in one year and any amount remaining is carried forward to use in future years. Once the credits are carried forward, they cannot be transferred. Moving credits: If you move more than 40 kilometers to take a summer job, you may be able to claim moving expenses against your employment income at the new location. Deductible expenses include travel, transportation, storage and the cost of meals and temporary accommodation for up to 15 days.

one stop

maximum refund

®

we make taxes easy.

WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

hrblock.ca

theVAULTmagazine

19


SEX have, then I suggest going in and getting tested together. It is very common, for example, for new couples to go to a clinic and get tested for HIV together.

Is cunnilingus an unsafe practice? What are the risks of STIs with cunnilingus for both partners, given that body fluids are exchanged during it? Oral sex does involve the exchange of bodily fluids, whether we’re talking about cunnilingus (which is oral sex performed on a woman) or fellatio (which is oral sex performed on a man). Both types of oral sex have significant potential for pleasure, for both the giver and the receiver. However, unprotected oral sex also carries risks for passing sexually transmissible infections (or STIs), including HIV, the virus that can lead to AIDS. It’s not that oral sex itself is an unsafe practice – after all, vaginal sex, anal sex, and oral sex all carry risks. What I would suggest is that it’s the way that people

20 theVAULTmagazine

engage in sexual behaviors that make them more or less safe. For both cunnilingus and fellatio, there is the risk of passing chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, herpes and most likely even the human papillomavirus, which is often called HPV. You can’t tell if someone has an STI by looking at their genitals or mouth, which is why it is important to talk to people who you are thinking about being sexual with and learn whether they have an STI, when they were last tested for STIs and which STIs they were tested for. If there are any STIs that you are particularly concerned about, and want to make sure they don’t MARCH 2, 20 12

STIs are a very real risk and people often underestimate the risk of getting an STI, or passing an STI to one’s partner, through oral sex. Even though using a condom for fellatio or a dental dam for cunnilingus could significantly reduce STI risk, very few people choose to use condoms for oral sex. More recently, scientists have found that HPV is linked to more cancers than was previously known – for example, many head and neck cancers have been linked to HPV and it’s thought that the increased risk may be resulting from HPV transmission through oral sex. HPV is also frequently transmitted through vaginal sex and anal sex and has been linked with anal cancers, cervical cancer, penile cancer and vulvar cancer. Most people who get HPV, however, will not experience difficult consequences, such as cancer, as a result of HPV infection. Most of the time, HPV infection causes few if any noticeable problems for women or men.

Also, most people engage in oral sex. Data from our National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior – a nationally representative survey of the sexual practices of Americans ages 14 to 94 – found that most men and women in their 20s and 30s had performed oral sex in the past 3 months. It’s a very common behavior and one that, most of the time, doesn’t result in STI infection or other problems. It’s certainly less risky of a behavior than unprotected vaginal sex or unprotected anal sex. Learn more about STIs and safer sex practices on our web site as well as on Planned Parenthood’s web site, which is PlannedParenthood.com Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of “Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction” and “Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva”. Find our blog, sex information, podcasts and archived Q&A at www.KinseyConfidential.org. Follow us on Twitter @KinseyCon


FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny © Copyright 2012

FOR THE WEEK OF MAR 1 - MAR 7 HOMEWORK:

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG FOR NEXT WEEK’S HOROSCOPE

www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com

Your imagination is the single most important asset you possess. Listen to the podcast: http://bit.ly/YourProphecy.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): At one point in his book LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): L.A. Weekly praised the music of SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are times in your The Divine Comedy, the Italian poet Dante is traveling through purgatory on his way to paradise. American poet T.S. Eliot describes the scene: “The people there were inside the flames expurgating their errors and sins. And there was one incident when Dante was talking to an unknown woman in her flame. As she answered Dante’s questions, she had to step out of her flame to talk to him, until at last she was compelled to say to Dante, ‘Would you please hurry up with your questions so I can get on with my burning?’” I bring this to your attention, Aries, because I love the way you’ve been expurgating your own errors and sins lately. Don’t let anything interfere with your brilliant work. Keep burning till you’re done. (Source: “A New Type of Intellectual: Contemplative Withdrawal and Four Quartets,” by Kenneth P. Kramer.)

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20): If you’ve been holding yourself back in any way, Taurus, now’s the time to unlock and unleash yourself. If you have been compromising your high standards or selling yourself short, I hope you will give yourself permission to grow bigger and stronger and brighter. If you’ve been hiding your beauty or hedging your bets or rationing your access to the mother lode, you have officially arrived at the perfect moment to stop that nonsense.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): In the cult blaxploitation film The Human Tornado, the main character Dolemite brags about his prowess. “I chained down thunder and handcuffed lightning!” he raves. “I used an earthquake to mix my milkshake! I eat an avalanche when I want ice cream! I punched a hurricane and made it a breeze! I swallowed an iceberg and didn’t freeze!” This is the way I want to hear you talk in the coming week, Gemini. Given the current astrological configurations, you have every right to. Furthermore, I think it’ll be healthy for you.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Astrologer Antero Alli theorizes

that the placement of the sign Cancer in a person’s chart may indicate what he or she tends to whine about. In his own chart, he says, Cancer rules his ninth house, so he whines about obsolete beliefs and bad education and stale dogmas that cause people to shun firsthand experience as a source of authority. I hereby declare these issues to be supremely honorable reasons for you to whine in the coming week. You also have cosmic permission to complain vociferously about the following: injustices perpetrated by small-minded people; short-sighted thinking that ignores the big picture; and greedy self-interest that disdains the future. On the other hand, you don’t have clearance to whine about crying babies, rude clerks, or traffic jams.

drone-noise band Barn Owl. Its review said that the listening experience is “akin to placing your ear against the Dalai Lama’s stomach and catching the sound of his reincarnation juices flowing.” That sounds a bit like what’s ahead for you in the coming week, Leo: getting the lowdown on the inner workings of a benevolent source . . . tuning in to the rest of the story that lies behind a seemingly simple, happy tale . . . gathering up revelations about the subterranean currents that are always going on beneath the surface of the good life. It’s ultimately all positive, although a bit complicated.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming days, you could

do a lot to develop a better relationship with darkness. And no, I don’t mean that you should do bad things and seek out negativity and be fascinated with evil. When I use that word “darkness,” I’m referring to confusing mysteries and your own unconscious patterns and the secrets you hide from yourself. I mean the difficult memories and the parts of the world that seem inhospitable to you and the sweet dreams that have lost their way. See what you can do to understand this stuff better, Virgo. Open yourself to the redemptive teachings it has for you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Sister Jessica, a character in Frank Herbert’s Dune books, says, “The greatest and most important problems of life cannot be solved. They can only be outgrown.” I encourage you to use that theory as your operative hypothesis for the foreseeable future. Here are some specific clues about how to proceed: Don’t obsess on your crazy-making dilemma. Instead, concentrate on skillfully doing the pleasurable activities that you do best. Be resolutely faithful to your higher mission and feed your lust for life. Slowly but surely, I think you’ll find that the frustrating impediment will be drained of at least some of its power to lock up your energy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A few years ago, the Hong

Kong company Life Enhance sold briefs and boxer shorts that were supposedly designed by a master practitioner of feng shui. On the front of every garment was an image of a dragon, which the Chinese have traditionally regarded as a lucky symbol. To have this powerful charm in contact with your intimate places increased your vital force -- or so the sales rap said. By my estimates, Scorpio, you’re not going to need a boost like that in the coming weeks. Without any outside aids whatsoever, your lower furnace will be generating intense beams of magical heat. What are you going to do with all that potent mojo? Please don’t use it on trivial matters.

life when you do a lot of exploring in the outer world, and other times when your pioneering probes are directed primarily inward. In my astrological opinion, you’re currently more suited for the latter kind of research. If you agree with me, here’s one tack you might want to take: Take an inventory of all your inner voices, noticing both the content of what they say and the tone with which they say it. Some of them may be chatty and others shy; some blaring and others seductive; some nagging and needy and others calm and insightful. Welcome all the voices in your head into the spotlight of your alert attention. Ask them to step forward and reveal their agendas.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Oxford English Dictionary, an authority on the state of the English language, adds an average of two new words every day. In the coming weeks, Capricorn, I’d like to see you expand your capacity for self-expression with equal vigor. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re due for an upgrade in your vocabulary, your clarity, and your communication skills. Here’s one of the OED’s fresh terms, which would be a good addition to your repertoire: “bouncebackability,” the ability to recover from a setback or to rebound from a loss of momentum.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): We turn to Dr. Seuss for

help in formulating your horoscope this week. He told a story of dining in a restaurant with his uncle, who was served a popover, which is a puffy muffin that’s hollow on the inside. “To eat these things,” said his uncle, “you must exercise great care. You may swallow down what’s solid, but you must spit out the air!” Drawing a lesson from these wise words, Dr. Seuss concluded, “As you partake of the world’s bill of fare, that’s darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.” I expect your coming week will be successful, Aquarius, if you apply these principles.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You should be like a rooster,

Pisces: dispensing wake-up calls on a regular basis. You should be nudging people to shed their torpor and shake themselves out of their stupor. What’s your personal version of “Cockadoodle-doo!”? It shouldn’t be something generic like “Open your eyes!” or “Stop making excuses!” Come up with attention-grabbing exclamations or signature phrases that no intelligent person can possibly ignore or feel defensive about. For example: “Let’s leap into the vortex and scramble our trances!”?

Almost done with the issue? Go back to the front and find the VAULT head on the cover. If you're the first to spot him you'll win a 2-for-1 coupon to River City Cinema! Email us:

thepit@thevaultmag.com to tell us where it's hiding! WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

21


Jonesin’ Crossword

Matt Jones (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

"B-Sides"--that's what we're playing.

Across

Down

1 Month where Star Wars Day falls on the 4th 4 Posh word of surprise 8 Pax ___ (1st and 2nd centuries A.D., roughly) 14 "Go, torero!" 15 Stick in the database 16 Password partner 17 Daring predicament? 19 White part of the eyeball 20 Christmastime 21 "Bring the punk out for a second performance!" 23 Sign it's time to throw something out 25 Ruins a perfect game 26 Go like the tide 29 They lay dark green eggs 30 Tuna type 33 Engulfed in flames 34 Suckers 35 Former CIA agent/spy Aldrich ___ 36 Cooking a metal point, like you would with short ribs? 39 "Sesame Street" roomie 40 Guitarist Lofgren 41 ___ Martin (luxury car) 42 "___ little bit nervous..." 43 Personal list item 44 Egg-shaped things 45 In ___ (at heart) 46 "The Giving Tree" author Silverstein 47 Sheep named after a late AC/DC frontman? 51 Involved in 55 Donny Osmond, by birth 56 Where monsters are created? 58 Copy room cartridges 59 Napoleon's isle of exile 60 Article written by Voltaire 61 Football Hall of Famer Jim 62 "Kilroy Was Here" band 63 "Reach for the ___!"

1 Techno artist behind "Everything Is Wrong" 2 Multigenerational baseball surname 3 Tarzan's trademark 4 Category that telepathy falls into 5 Mess up the audio 6 Circumvent 7 Cotillion figures 8 #1 Paula Abdul hit of 1991 9 Awards on Feb. 26, 2012 10 Liquefies plastic, say 11 Bellicose god 12 Robert De ___ 13 Just ___ (small amount, as of hair gel) 18 Bad mark 22 Entices 24 Pindaric poems 26 Teacher of the Torah 27 Zimbalist, Jr. of "77 Sunset Strip" 28 One-named R&B artist 29 Bird in the opening of "The Colbert Report" 30 Surname associated with expensive Italian violins 31 Biblical king 32 Numerals on novels 34 Be toadyish 35 Vodka with artistic ads 37 Sort of 38 Icicle's spot 43 Black key that's the first of a threesome 44 Passionate utterance 45 Cyberspace 46 Refine metal 47 Ashtray item 48 Alternately, as abbreviated in chat rooms 49 iPod variety 50 Lincoln and Vigoda 52 Too 53 Tetra's house 54 Do as you're told 57 Instrument that wails ©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords

22 theVAULTmagazine

MARCH 2, 20 12

www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTIONS

SUDOKU To Play: Complete the grid so that every row, column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. There is no guessing or math involved, just use logic to solve.


PUZZLES & HUMOUR we

can't make comics

we have no arms...

But we have eyes

Obscure Wizardry

By Jason Hewitt

send us your comics!

email thepit@thevaultmag.com for more information

theVAULTmagazine

COMES OUT EVERY TWO WEEKS... WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

Look for Issue 12 on Mar. 16, 2012

theVAULTmagazine

23



Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.