theVAULTmagazine ~ Issue 12

theVAULTmagazine Issue #12 - March 16, 2012

Crack the Vault

Out of the Bush and into the streets

Also...

Breakup in the Peace St. Patty's Day Drinks Spring TV Line up

THE PEACE REGION'S

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theVAULTmagazine

Editor/Publisher Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

Social Media/Reception Mary Warren

Logo Design Michael Boone

Layout Design

Jenelle Lizotte Christine Taylor Tormaigh Van Slyke Chris Zwick

Distribution DVS Michael Russell T&J

Website Design

Sush Wong & Doug Hurst, Wild Card Technology Solutions

Ad Design

Aimie Williams Sush Wong

Ad Sales

Tormaigh Van Slyke

Issue #12 - March 16, 2012

SECTIONS 04 News Snippets & Oddities 05 Local 06 Out of the Bush and Into the Streets 09 Suzuki 10 Zwick's Spring TV Lineup 11 Calendar

14 Hel l's Bel le 15 Artist Feature: Kevin Bekevich 16 Rants 17 Lifestyle 20 Kinsey Confidential 21 Astrology/Oddities 22 Puzzles & Comics

From Your Editors I don’t care if there’s snow on the ground. This is the Spring Issue, and so it’s “Out of the Bush and Into the Streets.” This is meant to be taken quite literal and refers directly to oilfield workers and the occurrence of spring breakup. But, “bush” also represents the S.A.D. cabin fever that’s been affecting us all. I know I’m bushed. It’s time to take back the neighbourhood, get the old gang back together, and paint our towns red (or black if you prefer). This issue will lend some focus to the culture of our region during this transition; and as always, we stay true to our eclectic nature.

Also in this issue, we welcome Megan Frizzell and Billy Joe Laboucan—the latest contributors to join theVAULTmagazine team.

We look forward to what the future will bring.

I’d like to thank our writers, advertisers, ad designers, all the people who have helped us along the way, and especially to you— the reader. Without you, this isn’t possible. Keep reading, keep up with the feedback (go to thevaultmag.com to comment on articles), and we’ll keep bringing you theVAULTmagazine FREE-dom.

Cheers!

Your Editors,

Tormaigh and Jenelle

Photography

Sharon Krushel (donabona.ca) Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

SUBMIT ALL EMAIL INQUIRIES TO THEPIT@THEVAULTMAG.COM

Contributors

Terry Cameron Megan Frizzell Raymond Myles Susan Thompson Mary Warren Chris Zwick

Comics

CJ Lyons, Fairview Shannon Brown & Randee Neumeyer, Peace River Crystal Hansen, Hines Creek Jason Hewitt, Peace River

Happy 81st Birthday Norm

Holy Crap!

Dixie's 50!

theVAULTmagazine is available free of charge at over 120 locations in the greater Peace Region every other Friday. We publish 2,000 copies every two weeks. We are funded solely through the support of our advertisers. theVAULTmagazine is published biweekly by Plato’s Cave Publishing. No content herein can be reproduced without written consent of the publisher. We accept contributions provided they are the property of the contributor and are offered exclusively to theVAULTmagazine. The publisher assumes no responsibility for the return or safety of contributed materials and therefore will not be held responsible. All opinions or statements expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher or staff. The reader must understand that all information presented in this publication is from various sources, therefore theVAULTmagazine cannot be held responsible for any accuracy, completeness or legalities. We ask that each reader take only one copy, unless your grabbing one for your friend. That is all.

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INSIDE THE VAULT NEWS SNIPPETS NASA HACKED, A LOT NASA computer systems were successfully hacked 13 times last year, resulting in major cyber-security breaches according to testimony made to a Congressional panel on NASA security from the American space agency’s inspector general last month.

Paul Martin told Congress that in one particular incident traced back to a Chinese-based IP address, hackers were able to infiltrate the systems of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, a key research centre for the most sophisticated rocket science lab in the world, which manages 23 active spacecraft, including current missions to Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.

The hackers had access to the entire system and were able to modify, delete and copy files, create new user accounts and steal employee credentials -- all while concealing their actions.

In a separate incident Martin testified an unencrypted laptop containing codes for the controls of the International Space Station was either lost or stolen.

In total, NASA reported 5,408 computer security incidents

“that resulted in the installation of malicious software on or unauthorized access to its systems” in 2010 and 2011. Many of the major incidents led to arrests in China, Great Britain, Italy, Nigeria, Portugal, Romania, Turkey, Estonia and the U.S.

late the religious rights of the women. Many have speculated the government’s position is direct retaliation for the British Roman Catholic Church’s opposition to the government’s plans to legalize same-sex marriage.

NO CROSS TO BEAR FOR BRITS

PLASTIC-HUNGRY FUNGI

The British government does not support claims by two women who say they were discriminated against by their employers for wearing symbols of their faith to work--crosses.

The case is now going before the European Court of Human Rights.

A group of Yale-based researchers say they have discovered a fungus that naturally breaks down plastic materials.

Nadia Ewedia, a British Airways employee, alleges she was asked to cover the cross she wore around her neck, and when she refused she was put on unpaid leave. Shirley Chaplin, a nurse, says she was moved to a desk job after refusing to remove her crucifix. Both women claim these actions by their employers violated their respective rights to manifest their religion.

The British government however, has maintained that wearing a cross is not a “requirement of faith” as defined by the European Convention of Human Rights and therefore the employers’ decisions did not vio-

Pestalotiopsis microspora, which was found to be able to survive on a plastic-only diet, even in oxygen-deprived environments, was discovered by the student group in the Amazon rainforests of Ecuador on Yale’s annual Rainforest Expedition and Laboratory course, whose focus it to find new plant sources for bioremediation techniques – using microorganisms to eliminate pollutants in the environment.

An enzyme called taxol, was found to be responsible for the bioremediation properties of the fungi. The discovery could have large scale implications in the waste management industry if the enzyme is synthesized for these purposes. Incidentally, taxol has already been synthesized and is used in drugs to

treat cancer patients.

The findings were reported in the journal Applied and Environmental Microbiology.

CULTURE OF INTIMIDATION? A letter by a local Progressive Conservative MLAs had the government defending itself against more allegations of operating in a culture of bullying and intimidation recently.

After the principal of Holy Family School in Grimshaw appeared in a video portraying the conditions of the 50-yearold school, and how they were adversely affecting the students there, Dunvegan Central-Peace MLA Hector Goudreau replied with a letter to Holy Family Catholic School Division Superintendent Betty Turpin: “I advise you to be cautious as to how you approach future communications as your comments could be upsetting to some individuals. This could delay the decision on a new school,” the letter read.

Goudreau did write two other letters, apologizing for the tone of the letter, and later resigned as chair of a policy committee on community development.

The letter is being used as prime fodder for opposition parties heading into a spring election, claiming this is just one visible example of intimidation by the long-reigning PC government.

BIG BUST A joint investigation by several local and regional law enforcement groups led to a traffic stop near Grimshaw March 1, resulting in the confiscation of an estimated $40,000 worth of cocaine.

The traffic stop yielded four ounces of cocaine police believe was headed to Peace River, while an additional seven ounces, cash, ammunition and a small amount of hashish was found after a search warrant was executed at a Grande Prairie residence.

The driver, Christopher Pappas faces two charges of possession of cocaine for the purpose of trafficking, one charge each of possession of the proceeds of crime, possession of ammunition while prohibited and possession of cannabis resin.

Pappas, 42, recently served a 27-month jail sentence for manslaughter in the death of 21-year-old Mark Hinchey at a Peace River bar in 2004.

lying in an awkward position for 75 days, she believed the impact was caused by a curse by gave birth to a boy, Ignacy, and a girl, Iga. A the god Ogdy. full term pregnancy generally lasts 40 weeks, whereas Joanna gave birth to her children at 32 weeks.

WINE FRAUD

ODDITIES COMPILED BY MARY WARREN

A Californian man claiming to have a nose for counterfeit wine has been accused of selling THE TUNGUSKA IMPACT more than $1.3 million worth of bogus booze.

In 1908, a man sat on the porch of a Siberian The man was reportedly exposed when he 75 DAYS OF LABOR trading post. Minutes later he flew into the attempted to sell a bottle of 1929 Domaine A Polish woman saved the lives of two of her air. A blast of heat permeated the air so hot Ponsot. Little did he know his client knew a triplets by lying nearly upside down for 75 days. he swore his shirt was on fire. An asteroid had thing or two about wine—specifically, that that hit—40 miles away. Although this disaster particular variety did not begin estate bottling After birthing a stillborn triplet, Joanna caused much destruction, the asteroid’s impact until 1934. The wine dealer could face jail time Krzystonek was relieved to learn the other two was not investigated for 19 years as the Siberian if the allegations turn out to be true. had a chance to be born successfully. Despite outback bore intense conditions and the locals

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theVAULTmagazine

LOCAL

More than just a newspaper

Photo - Sharon Krushel (donabona.ca)

Pictured L to R are Buzz Lorenzen, Natalya Veresovaya, Rick Schmidt, Kevin Cambridge, Chantal Laverdiere, and Sue Gray as they act out holding umbrellas while singing in the Improv musical titled Umbrellas on a Sunday, at Athabasca Hall, March 4.

NEW MUSICAL IMPROV GROUP IN PEACE RIVER SUBMITTED BY PEACE PLAYERS

C

ontemporary musical improv is a new form of entertainment that’s only been around for about 15 years, and it has already arrived in Peace River.

Sixteen local actors and musicians have gathered together to build an improvised musical group to perform regular shows and be part of occasional one-act theatre reviews.

The concept is similar to improvised comedy with the added dimension of performers using song with the dialogue. The

audience shouts out a starting location for the show, a title for one of the songs and a name for the play. They also provide props brought from home. The more unusual the prop, the better.

The actors then improvise the opening scene, creating lyrics on the fly. The musicians play an improvised tune based on the location and the atmosphere the actors create. The actors then build characters, subplots and an ending as they sing their way through a 30-minute to one-hour play. It’s an event where the story can be just as much a surprise for the performers as it is for the audience.

add theVauLtmagazine to your online routine.

Former Peace River area resident Bracken Burns has been putting on improvised musicals in England with "No Shoes Theatre" in the city of York. During a visit to Peace River this month, Bracken and her theatre partner Gavin Whitworth put on a twoweekend workshop at Athabasca Hall, sponsored by Peace Players.

At the workshop, the four musicians and 12 actors learned the basics of developing an improvised musical. The group put on a half-hour open rehearsal on the last day that attracted an audience of well over 50 people.

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Out of the Bush and into the Streets

Breakup Time in the Peace

BY SUSAN THOMPSON

I

in the ground, heavier equipment can move safely along the roads, ice roads can be made, and oil rigs and their workers move into the area to get as much work done as they can before spring breakup. When the ground begins to thaw in spring, local counties issue temporary road bans that restrict the weight of loads and vehicles to limit the amount of damage they may cause to the roads until the ground dries out again.

on the river, there is the possibility of the formation of ice jams and potential flooding for those who live along the water, which means local officials keep a closer eye on the river.

It’s also a signal that the rig season has ended for most, marking one of only two times in the year (Christmas being the other) when rig workers are guaranteed time off, sometimes marked by breakup parties.

n the Peace River area, you can tell the season is changing by the ice on the river. Not only is this a good indicator of the time of year for the regular person—the ice freezing up in winter and thawing again in spring— but it’s also an important indicator for the local economy.

Newcomers to the Peace are often surprised to learn much of the work done in the area This year’s breakup has is seasonal, and winter is come early.

Alberta the busiest time in the oil Once the ice breaks up Environment’s most patch. Once the ice gets

recent river ice observation report, released on Monday, Mar. 12, stated, “Thermal breakup of the Peace River is occurring well in advance of the average breakup date and spring runoff.” Last year’s breakup didn’t occur until April. At printing, the MD of Smoky River had already issued road bans.

Marc Turcotte of Young Gun Transport is very familiar with spring breakup. “In the trucking industry it’s our busiest time. So if we have any spring break-up parties

they’re usually not until June.”

Turcotte also told theVAULTmagazine that he doesn’t think the early breakup will affect the local economy in a negative way.

“I don’t think so. They’ll just carry on from there afterwards. I think they had planned to be done by now anyway and almost all the rigs have already moved out. I know there’s one still here, and if any others are left they’ll be carrying on through the summer.”

St. Patty's Day Cocktail

Crown Float You'll Need:

1 Can Guinness 1 Can Strongbow Cider Pour the cider into a pint glass until just over half full.

Using a spoon bent inward into a 90 degree angle, pour the Guinness steadily & directly into the spoon, letting it pour over into the cider.

If done correctly, the Guinness should layer on top of the cider for a delicious drink.

(As you can see from the photo, over Crown Float wasn't 100% successful but it worked.)

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Out of the Bush and into the Streets

Spring's Coming: Get dirty

BY TORMAIGH VAN SLYKE

I

t’s official—the snow is melting, the ground is softening and the birds are singing. Spring is here.

Alberta Environment and Water says the ice on the Peace River is breaking up much faster than usual. In fact, by the time you read this the ice front will probably have already passed through the town of Peace River.

So, spring is arriving ahead of schedule, but don’t let the sour mop pail smell ward you off.

Winter has made a mess of things once again in the Peace Region and it’s time for a deep spring cleaning. For some, it will mean soggy feet and wet

pant-legs. For others, it will be a head-to-toe mud bath.

Warmer weather and the occasional double rainbow are all fine and good, but I hope to see mini-rivers in highway ditches. It looks cool and it doesn’t happen that often.

I’m talking deep and fastflowing. I vow to join those adventurers—sailing down the road on a tire tube. Some say there hasn’t been enough snow, but I say let the water table and the spring rains have the last word.

It I can’t visit our neighbour in an inflatable vessel, then I will at least take part in an old fashioned mud fight with some friends in a mud pit. This is an annual past time of mine.

Heck, as a young boy with an

entrepreneurial spirit, I used to charge spectators $5 to stick my face in a mud puddle. Still today, there’s nothing quite like fully embracing our wettest season by becoming a mud creature. Granted, it’s not for everyone. It makes you stink and it takes more than a few washes to get the dirt out, but it makes for great memories and pictures.

Fun aside, spring doesn’t always bear fruits of joy. Every year in the Peace Region, someone experiences a springgifted basement flood. All the eavestroughs, weeping tile, and rain buckets in the Peace don’t seem to prevent this inevitability. What do you do?

I’ve had countless experiences sucking up dirty (and sometimes septic) water by the

Shop-Vac full. Pulling up the stinky carpet and hanging it outside to dry. Rounding up every last oscillating fan I could find, opening windows trying to get that mildow-y stench out of my worldly belongings.

Hoping like hell the water doesn’t seep back in overnight and cause an electrical catastrophe. When it looks like you’re in the clear, you’ve got a whole other problem on your hand—the possibility of mould and water-damage. In my experience, many people take this opportunity to completely remodel their downstairs.

Others, unfortunately, cannot afford such luxuries and are forced to live in soggier quarters.

winter left behind and start rebuilding. It’s the season we come out of hiding and reclaim the streets—and the outdoors in general. We set up our lawn furniture only to have a wind storm scatter it all over the yard. We get in an early threeday camping trip only to have it rain for two and a half days.

We pull out the shorts, wind breakers and flip flops only to have an impromptu snow storm hit us—in May! This is how we live in Northern Alberta: the True North Strong and Peeved. Good or bad, it comes down to this—It’s a big blowout sale—everything that didn’t go in the winter goes in the spring. Yes, we have a lot in-store.

Spring is great. It’s the season we pick up the pieces

St. Patty's Day Drop Shot Monday to Friday 11AM - 2 PM

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$9.99 French Fry Special comes with Caesar Salad & 6 oz. New York Steak

You'll Need:

Jameson Irish Whiskey Bailey's Irish Cream Guinness Beer

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Fill a pint glass about half full of Guinness.

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7

Out of the Bush and into the Streets

Sacrificing Opportunity for Oil

BY CHRIS ZWICK

S

pring is a time for new beginnings; and the cycle of seasons will once again bring us the annual migration of workers from the patch, workers who’ve spent the winter months in what is unaffectionately referred to as “the bush.” Make no mistake, they’ve been well paid for their sacrifices, and when the ground begins to thaw, the scruffy and coverall-ed drivers of the Alberta economy will be bringing their money back to civilization, and in Alberta, that seems to be all that matters. Despite the underlying consequences, we’ve already come too far and there’s no turning back, even if we wanted to.

In Alberta, we completely defy the old-wives’-tale that education can take you far.

Where else can a 17-yearold boy with nothing but a driver’s license make close-tosix-figures? Anywhere else, a typical 17-year-old would finish school, apply for a student loan, go to school for at least four more years and gain specific expertise in a field they could base a career on. But why spend 10 years paying back a student loan when you could own a home and a truck with big tires before you’re 22? It’s hard to argue against.

In Alberta, fewer and fewer young men are choosing to go to college or university, or even finish high school and you can’t exactly call them stupid.

That’s not to say there are not highly-educated and/or very intelligent people who work in the industry. There are many; but there should be no denying the highly subtextual Albertan

sentiment that it’s perfectly acceptable to be a drop-out as long as you go to work. Let’s face it—learning from books isn’t for everyone.

Note that entering into the trades is highly encouraged as trades people are the lubricant that keeps Alberta’s perpetual motion machine moving. The industry expands so rapidly, as if the hydrocarbons were about to disappear altogether, sites are drilled before others are drained so there are continual worker shortages, filled only by younger and younger workers from around the country. What do most young men with no responsibilities and a pocketful of money do?

to the Peace River Oilsands.”

Did anyone learn anything from what happened in Fort McMurray? As more and more people poured into the city and surrounding areas to reap the rewards, housing and rental prices soared—rates of homelessness increased proportionately. Drug and alcohol abuse was rampant while the personnel and facilities to treat these problems remained inadequate for a more than decade. Incidents of spousal abuse and assaults in general were exponentially higher during the legendary boom of the ‘90s and into the 2000s. The suicide rate of males aged 18-24 was the highest in the country.

Consider the social consequences, and think about whether you really wanted to be labeled the “Gateway

While some improvements in social services and infrastructure have gradually come along, these problems are still far from

solved in what is now Alberta’s third largest city. It’s the Alberta way but is it plausible that we could ever handle a boom half the size in the Peace Region?

We all want to be rich, and we’re conditioned to such a point we tend to disregard the unintended results of that mindless materialism, which is what it really all comes down to in the end. Education is devalued and it’s the vain human pursuit of keeping up with the Jones’ or Smiths that keeps the economy rolling along—extravagant new homes and vehicles; campers and 5th wheels; quads and sleds; electronic toys of all sorts, the spending does not cease.

Maintaining the façade of a high quality of life has become central, and little else matters.

It’s called sustainability but everyone wants to be Scarface.

Métis Training to Employment Services is here to help you get ahead of the future. Whatever your needs are, we’ve got a program to assist you.

• Post Secondary • Training Programs Funding • Disability Services • Scholarships and • Job Postings Bursaries • Summer Student • Apprenticeship Programs Programs • And More…

Visit us on the web, or call to be connected to the Métis Training to Employment Services office nearest you.

1-888-48-MÉTIS (1-888-486-3847) Online at:

www.metisemployment.ca Since 1670, the Rupert’s Land territory has held the pulse of Canadian industry, and the Métis people were among the catalysts that drove its success. In 2010 the Rupertsland Institute was created to reinvigorate that legacy of labour and achievement born over

300 years ago.

Métis people: a history of fostering excellence in achievement –

Rupertsland Institute: a mission of fostering excellence in Métis people.

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Social Comment

CLIMATE CHANGE DENIAL ISN’T ABOUT SCIENCE, OR EVEN SKEPTICISM fossil fuels? Does it mean we shouldn’t worry about pollution?

We could pretend global warming isn’t happening, or that humans aren’t a factor if it is.

That would be crazy in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, but even if it weren’t, there would still be no reason to continue down the road we’re on. Energy is at the heart of modern society's needs, but when the source is finite, it seems folly to be hell-bent on using it up in a few generations, leaving the problems of depletion and pollution to our children and grandchildren. The longer we delay implementing solutions to our energy challenges the more costly and difficult it will be when we have to face the inevitable.

Science Matters Vol. 14, No. 10 6 March 2012

ets’ suppose the world’s legitimate scientific institutions and academies, climate scientists, and most of the world’s governments are wrong.

socialist world order. Maybe the money’s just too damn good. It doesn’t matter. Let’s just imagine they’re wrong, and that the polar ice caps aren’t melting and the climate isn’t changing. Or, if you prefer, that it’s happening, but that it’s a natural occurrence – nothing to do with seven billion people spewing carbon dioxide and other pollutants into the atmosphere.

Maybe, as some people have argued, they’re involved in a massive conspiracy to impose a

Would it still make sense to continue rapidly burning the world’s diminishing supply of

BY DAVID SUZUKI

L

So, why do so many people insist that we remain stuck with outdated and destructive systems and technologies? Why do so many try to throw roadblocks in the way of progress and solutions? And what can we do about it?

Many books and studies have addressed the first two questions, including Merchants of Doubt

by Naomi Oreskes and Erik Conway, and Climate Cover-Up,

by James Hoggan and Richard Littlemore. Those show that huge sums of corporate money have been spent on campaigns to sow doubt and confusion about issues ranging from the dangers of smoking to threats to the

ozone layer to climate change.

It’s all about protecting corporate profits and interests. That doesn’t explain why so many ordinary people buy the industry spin, but a number of theories have attempted to shed light on that phenomenon.

What’s important, though, is for those of us who rely on facts rather than spin to look at solutions. We can all do much more to reduce our environmental footprints, but the problem has grown so much that large-scale efforts are needed, and many of these must come from decisionmakers in industry, government, and academia. However, there appears to be reluctance in some of those circles to act unless the public demands it. And so it’s up to all of us to become informed.

Then we can hold our leaders to account and challenge those who refuse to see the big picture.

This public responsibility is especially important in light of stepped-up efforts to deny the reality of climate change or the role humans play in it. Cases in point are illustrated by the “denialgate” scandal revealed by the release of Heartland Institute documents and the revelation that Ottawa’s Carleton University hired Tom Harris, a PR man for a number of “astroturf ” groups with a mechanical engineering background, to teach a course on climate change.

There are many credible sources of information, and they

aren’t blog sites run by weathermen like Anthony Watts or industry-funded fake science organizations. One place to start is at skepticalscience.com. Click on the tab that says “Arguments” for scientific responses to all the main climate change denier talking points.

Another great rebuttal to the deniers came in a recent article in the New York Review of Books

by Yale University economics professor William D. Nordhaus.

He said his article, “Why the Global Warming Skeptics Are Wrong”, was “primarily designed to correct their misleading description of my own research; but it also is directed more broadly at their attempt to discredit scientists and scientific research on climate change.”

The misrepresentation of Nordhaus’s research is typical of the Orwellian doublespeak deniers employ, but scientists and researchers are calling them on it.

Armed with credible information, we can challenge those who misrepresent science and spread confusion. If nothing else, we’ll be able to breathe easier!

Written with contributions from David Suzuki Foundation Editorial and Communications Specialist Ian Hanington.

Learn more at www.davidsuzuki.org.

Issue 13 is our Food & Drink Issue NOMINATE YOUR FAVORITE EATERIES FOR THE FOLLOWING CATEGORIES: bEST bURGER bEST pOUTINE bEST sTEAK

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Zw i c k' s

Spring TV Lineup Ugly Americans

Comedy Network, March 14 Set in an alternate reality where fictional monsters and humans co-exist in a modern urban environment, Ugly Americans is one of the best new animated adult series of the last few years, and season 2 episodes resumed on Comedy Network Wednesday, March 14.

Following the life of Mark Lilly, a social worker with the Department of Integration, the series has an animation and writing style that helps it stand out amongst similarlytargeted late night cartoons, as we see Mark’s personal and professional life collide on a weekly basis. His boss is a demon (and so is his girlfriend); his roommate, a zombie; and his best friend is a wizard. His clientele includes a two-headed worm monster, a robot, a koala, a Croatian man, the Great Brain, Buddah, Medusa and a giant amoeba, among many others.

Let’s just say it possesses a quality that makes it both remarkably intelligent and remarkably ridiculous at the same time.

Game of Thrones HBO, April 1

With only 10 episodes under its belt, Game of Thrones quickly became the most well-received and critically acclaimed series of 2011, and with its season 2 premiere coming to HBO on Sunday, April 1, it is easily one of the most highly anticipated premieres on the Spring TV schedule.

Adapted from George R.R. Martin’s fantasy novel series A Song of Ice and Fire, Game of Thrones portrays the intersecting lives of seven noble families fighting for power over the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros.

There’s tons of medieval intrigue, violence, murder and betrayal -- if you’re into that kind of thing. Besides that though, it’s a beautifully filmed

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series, with dramatic storylines and great special effects. If you’ve never seen a man killed with molten metal, and you want to, you just might like Game of Thrones.

Nurse Jackie Showtime, April 8

It’s hard not to draw comparisons between House and Nurse Jackie, after all, both characters are hard-working but irreverent and rule-breaking medical professionals. Both are also addicted to pharmaceutical painkillers, but that’s about where the similarities end.

Nurse Jackie (played by Edie Falco of Sopranos fame) takes on a decidedly darker overall tone than House, as her drug use is a far more prominent part of the show as she takes on the responsibilities of a head nurse at a major urban hospital and balancing her family life all while maintaining her pill habit by any means necessary.

While the character of Dr. House always seems to make the right decision despite his bedside manner, Nurse Jackie actually cares for the patients that enter her hospital, but she seems to make a lot of bad decisions. It doesn’t take a viewer long to realize Nurse Jackie stands alone amongst the medical shows that inundate cable and network television.

Season 4 of Nurse Jackie premieres Sunday, April 8, on Showtime.

Veep

HBO, April 22 Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld, New Adventures of Old Christine) returns to television as foul-mouthed U.S. Vice President Selina Meyer in Veep, premiering Sunday, April 22 on HBO. It may be a show about politics but it couldn’t really be called a dramatic series, it actually appears to be a very well-written and really funny satire, judging by the promotional material.

Just like most humans-turnedpoliticians, Louis-Dreyfus’ character got into politics to help people, but she soon realizes there are forces at work beyond her control, even at the highest levels of government – even being one breath away from the presidency itself. The ideals that got her to such a powerful position are soon quashed by political strategist types and she struggles to reconcile her public persona with her more human qualities.

America’s Got Talent NBC, May 14

The King of all Media is finally back on TV, and that’s the only reason anyone should ever watch America’s Got Talent or any other “talent” based reality show on TV. The brain-rotting quality of such entertainment could only be excused by the appearance of newly hired judge Howard Stern, who might finally bring some reality to reality television.

Stern joins Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel as they make their way around the United States in search of the most talented people in the country. Along their way they’ll encounter dancers, singers, jugglers, ventriloquists and performers of all stripes – some of them with genuine talent, and others not so much.

Stern has already been taping the show and is taking his responsibility as talent judge very seriously, vowing he will give up the job if he does not help the show find a truly talented performer with the potential to be a real star in their field.

What will really be interesting is to see how Stern’s reputation precedes him in Middle America. There may be no ButtBongo Fiesta or Lesbian Dial-aDate, but America’s Got Talent will probably still be worth a glance, despite being what it is.

Commu n ity Ca lend a r Pu llout Email us at thepit@thevaultmag.com to add your event to the calendar ALL INFORMATION PRESENTED IN THIS CALENDAR IS GATHERED FROM A VARIETY OF SOURCES. THEVAULTMAGAZINE ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY MISREPRESENTED INFORMATION. WE MEAN WELL. ANY CORRECTIONS OR COMPLIMENTS CAN BE DIRECTED TO THEVAULTMAGAZINE@HOTMAIL.COM

The Ukrainian Canadian Research & Documentation Centre Presents a Travelling Exhibition

The Barbed Wire Solution Ukrainian & Canada's First Internment Operations 1914-1920

at the

Add your event to our Calendar Pullout Section!

Call us to find out how! 780-624-1985

PEACE RIVER MUSEUM, ARCHIVES AND MACKENZIE CENTRE until the end of April

780-624-4261 • WWW.PEACERIVERMUSEUM.COM

Happy Birthday Angel!

Classes start April 3rd: -Saturdays from 2-3PM [Beginner ] -Tuesdays & Thursdays 7-7:50PM [Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced] Ends in late May Reshape in 8: Weight Management Meal Plan or Clean Eating Your Way offered with the 8-week fitness program

Must Pre-register: 780-625-1036 madison12375@live.ca ronibasarabafitness.com youthjuice.com/ronibasaraba

B

Berwyn/Brownvale

C

Cadotte Lake

D

DIXONVILLE

F

Falher

F

Fairview

G

Girouxville

Peace River P

G

Grimshaw

St. Isidore S

MONDAYS P

P

P

P

G

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

Hines Creek H Jean Cote J Nampa N Manning M McLennan M

P

P

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Zen Spa 5:45pm - Loonie Donation. Every Monday barring holidays. For more info email peacezenspa@hotmail.com NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485. SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) Hines Creek Arena 8:15-10pm. $2.

SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 3:30-4:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.

G WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library 7:30pm - Every Mon. For more info call Gordon at 780332-1732. PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Municipal Library 10-11:30pm - For more info call 780-322-3954.

P

PEACE CHALLENGERS TOASTMASTER CLUB (Self Help) - Northlands Sch. Div. (9809-77 Ave) 7:30pm - Learn to speak with confidence & professional leadership skills. Every Tues. For more info call Cindy 780-624-4890.

YOGA (Well-Being) - Senior Citizen’s Centre 5:15pm Beginner & Intermediate. BYO Mats & Blankets. Drop ins $12. (Tuesdays from Jan 10 - Apr 17). For more info call 780-624-4249.

FREE AFTER SCHOOL FUN AT THE FIELD HOUSE (Sports) G - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 4-6pm - Free open court time. Sponsored by the Mighty Peace Petroleum Association. Every Tuesday until April 3. For more info call 780-332-4005.

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall M 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Rec Centre 5:30-7pm - Every Mon. $6 with gym membership, FREE with membership.

P

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

P

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 1 - 2pm. Every Wed. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

TUESDAYS P

P

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church (upstairs) 7:30pm - For more information call Sharon at 780-624-8778.

TRADITIONAL NATIVE DANCE CLASSES (Dance) P Sagitawa Friendship Centre (Lower Level) 7-8pm - All Ages. 9 & under must have a parent present.

P MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7:30pm - -25

degrees or lower cancels meditation.

P

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710

P HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

F

DEVELOPMENTAL PLAYGROUP (Family) - United Church Basement 1-2:30pm - Gross and Fine Motor Skills, Social Skills, Healthy Snacks, Music and Crafts.

Every Thursday.

11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

WEDNESDAYS P

MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All preschool children welcome.

YOGA (Fitness/Well-Being) - Ecole des Quatre-vents 5:15pm - $12. Beginner and Intermediate. BYO Mats and Blanket. Drop Ins Welcome. For more info call 780-624-4249.

G

M

G PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 3:30-4:30pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family. For more info call 780-332-4005.

& Facebook: 3:30pm. Basic Computer: 4:30pm, Basic Computer Level 2: 5:30pm. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664.

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall M 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

C KID’S CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 4-5:30pm Ages 6-9. Every Thurs. For more info call 780-322-3954

FRIDAYS P

G BOOK BUGS (Family) - New Horizon Centre 10-11:30am - FREE program for children ages 0-6. For more info call Tracey at 780-835-3273.

P

H

SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek Arena 8:15-10pm. $2.

ESL CLASSES (Education) - Community Learning Centre 1pm - FREE. For more info or to register call 780-836-2664.

Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership, FREE with a gym membership. Every Friday.

SATURDAYS P

G

BILINGUAL STORYTIME (Family) - Peace River Municipal Library 2pm - Ages 3-5. Join us for two stories one in English and one in French and a craft. Parent or caregiver participation required.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Grace United Church. 8pm - Every Saturday. For more info call 780-624-4710.

H PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Hines Creek Arena

1-5pm. $2.

INTERNET/COMPUTER CLASSES (Education) -

M Community Adult Learning Centre - Basic Internet

TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) G Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443

C PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 1:30-3pm - Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-322-3954.

SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Mile Zero Regional Multiplex 4-5pm - $3 (4-17 years), $5 adult, $15 family.

For more info call 780-332-4005.

F DROP IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec

M MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall

READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - PR Municipal Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your reading skills). Every Wed. For more info call 780-624-4076.

M

P

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

M GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

F

THURSDAYS

STORYTIME (Family) - PR Municipal Library 10:30am - Every Friday. Up to age 5. Story and Craft. Parent or Caregiver participation required.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

P PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James

Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

P

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

SUNDAYS YOGA (Well-Being) - Senior Citizen’s Centre 4pm -

P Beginner and Intermediate. BYO Mats and Blanket.

Drop-ins $12. (Sundays from Jan 15 - Apr 15). For more info call 780-624-4249.

P

BUSKING AT THE BELLE (Music) - Belle Centre Mocha Room 7:30-11pm - Admission is $5, performers are free.

Musicians bring your tip jar or instrument case.

G FREE SKATE (Family) - Baytex Energy Centre 5-6:30pm - Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services.

H FREE PUBLIC SKATING (Community) - Hines Creek

Arena 4-5pm.

H FREE SHINNY HOCKEY (Community) - Hines Creek

Arena 5-6pm.

F

ZEN MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Fine Arts Centre 10am - For more info call Eileen at 780-494-3410.

FRI, MAR 16 F

M

GASLIGHT PRODUCTION (Theatre) - Fairview High School 6:30pm - IGNITE youth presents: Theatre!

Tickets can be purchased from Ruby's. For more info call 780-835-5455.

D DIXONVILLE FARMER'S CLOSING BONSPIEL (Sports) -

$120 per team. For more info call Jenny 780-971-2163.

ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARTY (Community) - Manning Ag Hall 8pm-1am - Win the pot of gold! St. Patty's Beer.

DDs Available. A portion of the proceeds go to Voices for Education. Tix ($25) available at Jo Dot Com, North Hill Flowers and from any Voice member.

MON, MAR 19 M CONVERSATION CORNER (Community) - Golden Age Club 12pm - Funtime Bingo, Free lunch, Great conversation and more!

F ST. PATRICK'S DAY DANCE (Music) - David Thompson

Hall 7:30pm - Live Music by Cool Water Bettensons. For more info call 780-835-4794.

P ST. PATRICK'S DAY AT SHARKS (Music) - Sharks 8pm

TUES, MAR 20

- Drink specials. Kikbak plays at 8pm.

SAT, MAR 17 P

PEACE RIVER FARMER'S MARKET (Community) - Senior Citizen's Drop In Centre 10-1pm - For more info call 780-618-3640.

PEACE RIVER SKATING CLUB PRESENTS SOUND OF P COLORS (Family) - Baytex Energy Centre 3pm - Tix $5 (5 & under FREE). Doors open at 2pm.

P ST. PATRICK'S DAY TEA AND BAKE SALE (Community) -

St. Paul's United Church 2-4pm - Live Irish Music!

F GASLIGHT PRODUCTION (Theatre) - Fairview High School 6:30pm - IGNITE youth presents: Dinner Theatre!

Tickets can be purchased from Ruby's. For more info call 780-835-5455.

THE CROAKIN' FOUR (Music) - The Pub 8pm - No Cover

N

P RENAMING OF PEACE RIVER ARENA CELEBRATION

(Community) - Baytex Energy Centre 5-6:30pm - Free skating, hot dogs, hot chocolate and activities. A short program will commence at 5:45pm. For more info call 780-624-1000 or visit peaceriver.net

GASLIGHT PRODUCTION (Theatre) - Fairview High F School 6:30pm - IGNITE youth presents: Dinner Theatre!

Tickets can be purchased from Ruby's. For more info call 780-835-5455.

P CALADH NUA (Music) - Belle Petroleum Centre 7pm

- Tickets $25/adv., $35/door. Tix available at Main St. Shell, www.thinklocalmarket.com or by calling 780-624-8318.

LOW INCOME SENIORS VOLUNTEER INCOME TAX FILING (Community) - Town of Peace River - To register or to drop off info contact Amanda Usman at the Town of Peace River. For more info call Community Services at 780-624-1000.

FRI, MAR 23 P 9th ANNUAL WE'RE HAIR FOR A CURE (Community)

- Riverdrive Mall 12pm - For more info call Mike at 780624-4977 or Grant at 780-624-5319.

er to w E nt e d g i n A uita a ph r! o gr

$5 ut a

7pm sharp - 5-course meal, mystery theatre and singing! Tix ($40) available from Style Ryte Cleaners.

G

SUBSTANCE AWARENESS FOR PARENTS (Family) 7-9:30pm - Street drug awareness. Presented by Barb Johnson - AHS. Sponsored by FCSS & PRSD. Courses are free but must register to ensure a seat. 780-332-1110.

THURS, MAR 29

P Charge!

.

P MURDERED TO DEATH (Theatre) - St. James Cathedral

TUES, MAR 27

THURS, MAR 22 P

MURDERED TO DEATH (Theatre) - St. James Cathedral 7pm sharp - 5-course meal, mystery theatre and singing! Tix ($40) available from Style Ryte Cleaners.

SAT, MAR 24

STUDENT SHOWCASE & FAMILY WELLNESS FAIR G (Family) - Grimshaw Jr/Sr High School 5-8pm Show student's work, share local arts & crafts, and build community awareness of agencies that support the community. FREE family BBQ & desserts.

SUN, MAR 18

P

NAMPA & DISTRICT SKATING CLUB'S 34th ANNUAL ICE SHOW (Community) - 7pm - A Free Family Event.

Theme: Rockin' Retro

BIG HANK and

A Fist Full of Blues March 31

Senior Citizen’s Drop In Centre Peace Rive r 10301-101St

Tickets at:

Village Audio Vi deo Unlimited Danberger & So ns Store Ltd.

M WII EVENT AND SMOOTHIE WORKSHOP (Community) - McLennan Elk's Hall 12-3pm - Organized by the Smoky River FCSS in conjunction with the Community Adult and Literacy Program.

THE GRIMSHAW FIRE RESCUE ASSOCIATION & LAC CARDINAL PERFORMING ARTS SOCIETY IS PROUD TO PRESENT

2nd Annual Formal Dinner & Silent Auction

Sat. March 31

st

we’re bringing the big band to grimshaw.

swinging music. divine drinks. tasty food. great atmosphere. what more could you want?

$65.00 a ticket Doors open at 5:30 Dinner Served at 7:00

WWW.THEVAULTMAG.COM

Grimshaw Elks Community Hall Get your tickets now at Beyond 2000 in Grimshaw (332-2012)

Artist Directory INKED IN MALICE

Band (Dan Binks: Lead guitar, vocals, songwriter. Stephen Knudsen: Rhythm guitar) Melodic acoustics to technical metal. Working on demo. reverbnation.com/inkedinmalice

CAROLYN GERK

Pencil, Acrylic, & Watercolor (Portraits, landscapes, still life, children’s decor, murals, personalized items, decorative art and gifts. Requests welcome)

780-625-1215 carolyn.2345@hotmail.com FB: Creative Design by Carolyn

LEAH WOOD

Photographer (Do you want unique photos? Order your session today!)

780-618-8204 leahwoodphotography.com leahwoodphotography.com/ blog

SUSAN THOMPSON

Dancer (Belly dance, fire dance, fire fans, palm torches, LED fans, choreographed or freestyle, go-go dancing)

vantom@xplornet.com FB: Sisu Belly Dance

MARY WARREN

Graphite & Ink (Realistic to animated, I enjoy working with nearly all mediums and art forms. I also dabble in clothing design.)

sickyslimys@hotmail.com

EPHEMERA

Band (Buzz Lorenzen, lead vocals, guitar, songwriter. Anjil Shimoon, cello, backing vocals, extreme sexiness.)

drbuzzmd@yahoo.com

SHANNON BROWN

Oil Painter (Recently graduated from NSCAD university.

Shannon is practising the art of painting through landscape oil paintings, murals and is now using neon acrylics. shane_browndotcom@hotmail.com

Welders WaNted joIN tHe Hell ‘N’ Back creW! Hell ‘N’ Back Industries is a rapidly expanding welding, machining, and manufacturing company near Peace River. We need journeyman welders for full-time long-term work. Duties including welding/fabricating in our 26,000 sq ft shop in Nampa. We offer stability, regular wages, benefits after six months, plus training and advancement opportunities.

You are: Physically fit, knowledgeable, certified, safe, mechanically inclined, career-oriented, and able to work alone or as part of a team.

Welders of other experience levels (2-3 year) may be considered but journeyman preferred.

Wages based on experience.

Call Doug at 780-322-2222 for more information or fax your resume to 780-322-3839 Hell ‘N’ Back INdustrIes: We’ll go to Hell ‘N’ Back to get tHe joB doNe!

MARIE ELDSTROM

Photographer (Owns House of E Photographic Imagery.

Book a session. Tell your story.

Promises a unique and exciting experience. Portraits & Prints.) marieeldstrom@gmail.com houseofphotographicartistry. blogspot.com

AMANDA MANDEVILLE

Photographer/Artist (Creative Lark Photography & Fine Art. "I offer professional, artistic, & fun photos for any occasion.")

780-625-5242

creativelarkphotography.com

ART BY TARAS

Airbrushing (Custom painted art on canvas, wall murals, helmets, clothing) airbrushartists.org/ hotrodzz34

NO LIMITZ

Band (Singing/songwriting duo of Sherry Crawford & Dana Blayone offering indie/country/ folk originals or full band performances w/ the guyz playing country/rock covers) singnolimitz.com singnolimitz@gmail.com 780-624-1718

ARIANA HAMMERBERG

Oil, Acrylic, & Watercolor (Landscapes, abstract & mixed media)

780-625-1794 ahammerberg@yahoo.com FB: Paintings by Ariana

ALECIA VOGEL

Singer/Songwriter (Gravitates more towards the pop/folk side of things. Also in the midst of releasing a demo and loving every moment of it.)

aleciahh@gmail.com 780-625-7329

VERNON LEDGER

Musician (Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals. Band: A New Direction.

Teaches Song Writing, Jams, Available for events.)

CJ LYONS

780-624-2693 nervedge1984@live.com

caylah.lyons@hotmail.com

Dancer (Director of Bongo Studio, Latin instructor, Zumba instructor, choreographer and professional dancer of Peruvian music)

( Works by commission in acrylic, graphite, charcoal and digital design. Gallery at meganekkobomb.deviantart.com)

SARAH SHUDRA

780-625-7428 sarashudra@yahoo.es

Are you an artist or musician who would like to be featured in the artist directory? email your info to thepit@thevaultmag.com

ARTIST FEATURE Bring Yer Truck: The outlaw

Kevin Bekevich

BY SUSAN THOMPSON

C

ountry music these days seems to belong to pop princesses like Taylor Swift and a whole host of slickly-marketed musicians you'd be hard pressed to picture actually cleaning manure out of a barn or even getting dirt under their fingernails. Few musicians still walk down the dusty gravel backroads of the real west, but here in Alberta that dust tends to cling to your boots and to the windshield of your truck. Local musician Kevin Bekevich has followed the trail into the wide open prairies of alt country, where outlaws like Corb Lund still roam. His band A Fistful of Dollars tells the stories of the modern-day Albertan condition, calling out fans and newcomers alike to live performances with the trademark phrase "Bring yer truck!" Songs like the working man's tale of woe and drink, "25 Dollars", and the similarly booze-soaked romantic lament "Whiskey as My Chaser", alongside more spaghetti-western flavoured songs like "The Devil Surely Will,� have become Peace Country cult classics thanks to Bekevich's tireless gigging. theVAULTmagazine caught up

with Bekevich in Edmonton, where he took time to explain his path from Peace River punk to alt country and western troubadour. tVm: You've been a working musician for a lot of your life.

How did you first get into playing music and playing bass?

I took a few piano lessons when I was seven years old. I couldn't sit still long enough so I tried guitar when I was eleven and it still didn't stick. I played trumpet for 2 years but again, it didn't case a spark. When I was fourteen, a friend wanted to start a band and all of a sudden I was inspired. I took to the bass like a duck to water. tVm: What drives you as an artist?

Usually a van or a car. Just kidding. My main motivation to play music is to reach to new musical heights and to grow and enjoy the experience. I have started teaching children and adult private lessons which also keeps me motivated to stay sharp. The more I know, the more I can teach.

tVm: Who are your biggest musical influences?

As a bass player, I am influenced by a myriad of styles of music, anything from Cajun, country, rock, punk, bluegrass, rockabilly, hip hop, metal, pop, classical, blues, jazz, electronica etc. Some of my favorite bass players are Leonard Hubbard (The Roots), Jaco Pastorious, Lee Sklar, and Les Claypool. As a songwriter I am influenced by artists like Fred J. Eaglesmith, Tim Hus, Corb Lund, and Willie Ray Hubbard.

I am also inspired by the people I play with. tVm: Much like Corb Lund himself who started off in the Smalls, you played punk before making the switch to country. How have you grown and changed as an artist since then?

Is there anything you've carried with you from your punk days?

Even during my four year stint in punk band "Moral Majority," I was always listening to lots of different styles of music. Since then I have played in over 20 musical projects that range in style, levels of ability, and creativity. I still draw from the DIY culture of punk to stay focused.

tVm: Why the switch to country? And what happened to (former AFOD guitarist and singer) Jesse O'Reilly's involvement, anyway?

tVm: You don't limit yourself just to playing with AFOD. What other kinds of gigs do you do? What other bands do you play with?

Before I played in A Fistful of Dollars, I had played in three other country bands so the style wasn't new to me. Jesse had other commitments he had to attend to so I continued to work with other musicians as A Fistful of Dollars. I recently have been working with the guitar player who used to play with Tim Hus, Stompin' Tom Connors, and Matt Masters and The Gentlemen of the Rodeo.

I play weddings, bars, community dances, on television, on the radio, private functions, in old barns, and anywhere else live music is wanted. The last year I played bass with country singer from Fairview, Sarah Richards, George Ireland (Edmonton), Matt Masters and the Gentlemen of the Rodeo (Calgary), Kikbak (Peace River), Jeff McCann (Peace River) and film director for Hank Williams First Nation, Aaron Sorensen (Calgary).

...continued on page 16

DID YOU KNOW?

Every week we give away prizes on our blog?

Check us out every Friday for your chance to win!

Friday Trivia Question www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com

GRIMSHAW | 780 . 332 . 2132 w w w. c a n t e c h e l e c t r i c . c o m WWW.THE VAULT MAG .C OM

theVAULTmagazine

15

...continued from page 15 tVm: You recently played live on the radio on CKUA. How did that come about, and was it a big break for you?

I was playing upright bass and the drummer from Matt Masters told me he would call me for some gigs. It worked out great.

Yes, it was great! I played bass with Matt Masters and The Gentlemen of the Rodeo. It was my third gig with the professional touring act. It was a surreal experience to be broadcasted directly LIVE on the air when ANYTHING could happen. No overdubs. The gig came about when I played at the hockey pond last year with George Ireland and A Fistful of Dollars.

tVm: What are you doing in the next few months? Any big gigs coming up? And what are your plans and dreams for the future?

Well right now I am currently recording a six song EP for A Fistful of Dollars entitled "Six Shooter". It will be out this summer. I have some very experienced musicians contributing

to the record and a sound engineer helping me along the way.

Once I finish recording, I plan on releasing the album and touring heavily until the new year.

Tour dates will be announced this summer. My overall goal is to get these songs heard and to build a sustainable audience. tVm: What do you think about the state of the Canadian music industry and the industry in general? What does it mean to be an independent artist performing in Canada these days?

I think the state of the Canadian music industry is what we make it. Although there are lots of negative things I could say about the music industry, I think an opportunity is something you create for yourself. If musicians can co-exist in a community, a lot can happen. It is important for a musician nowadays to do their own work. To be their own booking agent, their own sound man and their own driver. That's what I have been learning to do and it has been paying off in a big way. I virtually created my own career.

For more information on A Fistful of Dollars: www.myspace.com/ afistfulofdollars If you want to book a gig, need a professional bass player or a private lesson for beginner guitar, beginner drums, songwriting and bass at all levels, contact Kevin Bekevich directly at: 1(780)625-5357 kevinbekevich@hotmail.com

RANTS

I

t was easy to pick a rant topic this issue: Kony 2012. In a nutshell (for those who live under a rock), Kony 2012 is a 28-min film produced by the charity Invisible Children, raising awareness about the use of child soldiers of Uganda.

It was posted to YouTube on Mar. 5 and became a huge meme, as untold numbers of kind-hearted and slightly naive Facebookers shared it incessantly with their friends amid calls to “please help the children” by jailing and/or killing Joseph Kony of the Lord’s Resistance Army. Yet Kony 2012 is not what it seems. The charity organization behind it was essentially asking for money (for “action kits”), of which it turns out only about 30 per cent goes to the actual cause, the rest going to the founders and more slick filmmaking. The charity itself is not entirely forthcoming with its financials either, and doesn’t involve any actual community leaders from the affected region. Add the fact that Kony is no longer even in the country, and that Invisible Children supports a military solution to the problems Kony has caused, and the question becomes whether all

the awareness caused by the Kony 2012 campaign may actually do more harm than good. However, the real problem with Kony 2012 is that it proposes an idealistic and simplistic solution to a complicated and longstanding problem. Social media is clearly an excellent way to quickly market information, but that doesn’t alleviate people of the responsibility to use critical thinking and do their own research instead of blindly believing whatever they see in a video, just because all their friends have “Liked” it. It also doesn’t address the ethnocentric root of the idea that only North Americans (i.e. white people) can fix Africa, especially when most still couldn’t find Uganda on a map, let alone understand the nuances of African politics. The best thing that’s come out of Kony 2012 is the debate over Kony 2012, and I hope in future more people will remember to use critical thinking when judging the truth of anything on the internet.

Susan

~

A

lberta has its first female premier but our government is still a corporate-sponsored, behind-closeddoor Old Boys Club. There’s a provincial election coming this spring, and I will not be voting. I will also not be encouraging my friends and acquaintances to exercise their “right to vote.”

You can call me a sore loser. That’s fine. Maybe I am. But our political system on provincial and federal levels is so broken; I will now be distancing myself from such pretentious notions that a single vote counts for anything.

I’ve come to learn our representatives do not represent us; they represent ideas their respective caucuses tell them to represent based on where most of their donations come from.

their business is oil, gas, lumber, or construction. It is tradition after all. Corporate donations far exceed individual donations, and the funny thing is many corporations donated large sums of money to all of the candidates, as if to say “just in case you win, don’t forget about me and my interests!” As if they ever would.

Invariably, there will be the predictable calls that “if you don’t vote, you can’t bitch.” This old adage however, will be very far from true.

The ruling mentality so offends my own sensibilities that it’s just hard to force myself to participate. I’ll still be watching though, and I’ll still be bitching as an unaffiliated bystander.

For once I will be part of the majority – the non-voting majority. And it will be grand.

You need only look at the recently released financial documents of last ~ year’s PC leadership candidates; all four of those, who made those documents public, were inundated with cash donations from any number of large corporations, whether

Chris

Almost done with the issue?

Go back to the front and find the VAULT head on the cover.

If you're the first to spot him you'll

win a 2-for-1 coupon to River City Cinema!

Email us at thepit@thevaultmag.com to tell us where he's hiding!

16 theVAULTmagazine

MARCH 16, 20 12

LIFESTYLE

Reduce Your Stress Levels

BY MARY WARREN

T

echnology has greatly benefited humanity, in the past few years particularly. Everything is very convenient and within an arm’s reach. Food can be quickly cooked using an electric stove and reheated the next day as leftovers. For those of us who feel our lives are too busy to cook, there are microwave dinners, and pre-made meals that merely need to be heated in the oven. To get from point A to point B, no matter how far or short the distance, we have motor vehicles and public transportation.

Life has been simplified, and yet many claim this to be the era of stress. Stress has many negative

traits. It causes some people to eat too much and others too little. Some of us can’t sleep.

Some of us can’t contain our rage. You would think that advances in technology would have improved quality of life but instead we are presented with two rather large issues: reliance on technology and stress. Here are some tips to help relieve your stress and reliance.

Put Away the Cell Phone and Social Networks I’m not suggesting you throw away your cell and cancel your Facebook account—just give

yourself a break. How much time do you waste monitoring micro updates? Try turning your cell phone off while eating, watching a movie, or reading a book. Chances are you won’t miss much and that little bit of down time should decrease your stress levels. Also, if you are out with friends, put that cell phone away and socialize in the real world!

of boiling water, but what is more important than your health? Too much fast food is bad for you, even if it’s boiled/ baked at home. Unhealthy food choices can result in obesity and/or lack of energy, and both inadvertently cause their own stress. Let cooking be a ritual.

You don’t have to be Jamie Oliver, but at least one up Boyardee.

Cook a Real Meal

Short Car Rides Make for Good Walks

If you enjoy your meals precooked, chances are you’ve grown pretty dependent on them. It’s easier to pop chicken nuggets in the oven and pour some frozen veggies in a pot

Vehicles are convenient aren’t they? Particularly in the north, but does that mean they are absolutely necessary for every journey? Sometimes people will drive their cars a mere block

down the road because they are too “tired” to walk or it’s too “cold” or there’s “not enough time.” Whether you live in Peace River, Falher, Grimshaw, or Fairview, chances are wherever you need to go you can walk (assuming of course it’s not to bring a heavy load of groceries home). Exercise and fresh air are great cures for stress. Exercise gives you more energy and even benefits the brain via blood circulation.

Ever wonder why people go on walks to “clear their head?”

Caring for yourself will ultimately leave you healthier and happier. Eat well, exercise, and take time to yourself. You will see a positive change inside and out!

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LIFESTYLE 6 Easy Ways To Bounce Back After A Breakup far too long. I get it. I’ve been there, and it’s NO fun! Keeping your body and mind healthy is extremely important during stressful times, and I am here to remind you why it’s important and how simple it is to get back on track.

BY LINDSEY ULASZONEK

A

lright alright, we know how it goes after you and your significant other calls it quits: partying like you’re 20 again, staying up far too late, eating unhealthy food, and probably being a sad sap for

First of all, it’s perfectly okay to go down the wrong path immediately after a break up.

It allows you to get it all out of your system. The important part is making sure that little stroll down the wrong path doesn’t last too long. Give yourself a time limit. I came out of a 3-year relationship so I gave myself a month and I think that was being pretty generous to myself. Figure out how long you need, give it to yourself, and then get back on track!

Here are 6 steps to get back on track:

#1: Eat

when you’re hungry.

If you’re stomach growls—feed it! And feed it good food. I am a firm believer on whatever you put inside will show on the outside.

Feed yourself healthy greens, protein, and small amounts of complex carbs, and you’ll glow on the outside. If you choose grease, fat, and sugars, don’t be surprised that you’re aging early and you feel like crap.

#2: Don’t eat to fill the time.

Bored? That’s not an excuse to eat! You’ll wind up with a pooch on your stomach and not feel good in that new look-at-meI’m-single-for-summer bikini.

#3: Drink H2O. I say it time and time again: Thirsty? Not thirsty? Drink water! The effects of hydrating with water are amazing. Proper hydration will give you younger looking skin and a flatter stomach as it relieves bloating, gives more energy, and maintains healthy insides—if you catch my drift.

#4: Do sleep.

not compromise your

Beauty sleep is real.

Sleep is key. It keeps your energy levels up and it helps to keep your physical and mental functions at their peak.

#5: Keep fit and work it out.

Exercise daily if you can. Even a short 30-minute work out with

high bursts of cardio or weights will work wonders. Anyone can work up a sweat in 30 minutes.

Just keep it intense and remember it’s creating the healthier you.

#6: Stay positive.

Don’t let yourself get down. Stay positive and everything good will follow. Eating right and working out only helps the positivity grow. The endorphins you get from eating well and working out aid extremely well in staying happy. And guess what? You’ll feel amazing and look great and you’ll be excited to move on to bigger and better things. Don’t let a break up or stress at work stop you from staying positive.

There’s the simple guide to keeping healthy. Use it wisely my friends!

Kids These Days

BY MEGAN FRIZZELL

L

ife in high school - remember what it was like?

Most of you probably do, whether it was recently or what feels like a million years ago. You may flash back occasionally to little snippets of memory; a hit song, the newest trend, teasing your hair, sneaking out, sleeping in class. The list goes on.

High school hasn't changed.

We still have the smoke pit, listen to loud music, squeal our tires, and skip class. We are still dealing with growing up and responsibilities and trying to do all of those things at once. Kids get into trouble. Other kids stay away from it, but it usually still finds us.

18 theVAULTmagazine

Teenagers still love to party, whether it's at the pit or at someone's house. Our clothing may have changed, along with the music we listen to and the slang words we use, but really, not much else is different. The pranks and bonehead stunts we pull may not be as creative as some of the ones our parents M ARCH 16, 20 12

came up with (who wants to put a diaper on the 12 Foot Davis statue? Anyone?), but for the most part we get away with them. It's how we learn, and how everyone learns. The reason most of us have such great parents is because they did a lot of stupid sh*t when they were growing up, so they know how it goes, how life works. Being in high school isn't an easy job. Granted it's probably easier than being out in the Real World, but how can we know that yet? Baby steps.

I look at my graduating class and see a large group of promising young adults. Listening to us talk, I hear the morals and personal values of strong, stable adults already being cemented into our core beings. We are the next generation. Yeah, that sounds frickin' scary, but you were where we are once. I'm sure your elders thought the exact same about you. So don't be offended when we act like idiots, or do the same dumbass sh*t over and over and over. We're just being kids. Let us show you just how far we will go.

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KINSEY CONFIDENTIAL I’m having a very weird experience, it seems like there’s been some kind of a change with my private area. I’ve been sexually active with my boyfriend for a year and half, and he has been perfectly normal for me. Then at one point, it started to hurt, especially when he tried to insert his penis, it felt like the skin was burning and it felt like sand paper was being held against the clitoris’ skin.

But that went away, and now it’s just impossible for him to insert his penis. It hurts so god damn much, as if I have become smaller - literally. I feel like crying at times. It makes me not want to have sex, which sucks. I don’t understand what has caused the change, because it was never like this.

T

here are many reasons why women may develop vaginal pain or pain during sex, and it’s impossible for me to know what’s causing your issues with pain. Let’s go over some of the possibilities.

but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention it. Sometimes circumstances change and people go from feeling positive about sex to feeling worried or shameful about sex, and certainly the way one feels about sex can impact on how it feels physically.

Because sex used to feel all right for you, I’m guessing that it is unlikely that you are generally afraid or fearful of having sex. However, if for some reason you feel that you have long felt afraid of sex, uncomfortable having sex with your boyfriend, or guilty or ashamed about your sexual behavior, it might be helpful to talk with a sex therapist. If sex used to feel pleasurable and good for you, this is probably unlikely to be true for you

It’s also possible that medical issues are at stake here. I would highly recommend checking in with a gynecologist or other healthcare provider to see if any physical causes of your pain can be identified.

Sometimes women develop genital skin conditions that can cause or contribute to pain during sex. These conditions are often treatable. Other times, women have internal causes of pelvic pain. It may also be that you’ve developed an

20 theVAULTmagazine

MARCH 16, 20 12

allergic reaction to a lubricant that you’ve been using or to a lubricated condom that you’ve been using during sex. If you’re using condoms, consider switching brands and trying a nonlubricated condom to see if that changes how sex feels. If you’re using lubricants, you might try not using a lubricant one time or else switching brands to one such as Good Clean Love that doesn’t include some common irritants in its ingredients.

It’s also very important that you let your boyfriend know how much sex hurts for you. Most people want to create pleasurable experiences for their partner. If he doesn’t care how much sex hurts for you and is focused only on his pleasure, that’s something you might want to pay attention to. And if he is trying to avoid causing pain for you, and you’re the one who insists on having sex in spite of experiencing pain, you might ask yourself why it is that you feel vaginal intercourse is so important to have, even when it hurts and makes you want to cry, as you noted. There

are many ways of sharing intimacy and being sexual together that don’t have to involve vaginal intercourse, including kissing, sexual touching, oral sex and sex toy play. Exploring these more often may help create positive experiences for you two while you work to address this issue.

Finally, you might find it helpful to read “When Sex Hurts: A Woman’s Guide to Banishing Sexual Pain” by some of country’s leading experts in women’s sexual health and vulvovaginal pain.

Please know that sex doesn’t have to hurt and there are often good treatments and therapies available to help improve your sexual experiences.

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of “Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction” and “Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva”. Find our blog, sex information, podcasts and archived Q&A at www.KinseyConfidential.org. Follow us on Twitter @KinseyCon

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

by Rob Brezsny © Copyright 2012

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG FOR NEXT WEEK’S HOROSCOPE

FOR THE WEEK OF MAR 15 - MAR 21

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HOMEWORK:

What was the pain that healed you most? What was the pleasure that hurt you the worst? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com

ARIES (March 21-April 19): This week you may learn the LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Hanadi Zakaria al-Hindi is the SAGITTARIUS real reason the tortoise beat the hare, why two of the three blind mice weren’t really blind, and the shocking truth about the relationship between Cinderella’s fairy godmother and the handsome prince. Myths will be mutating, Aries.

Nursery rhymes will scramble and fairy tales will fracture.

Thor, the god of thunder, may make a tempting offer to Snow White. The cow’s jump over the moon could turn out to have been faked by the CIA. An ugly duckling will lay an egg that Chicken Little claims is irrefutable proof the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse is imminent. Sounds like a rowdy good time for all!

first Saudi Arabian woman to be licensed to fly a plane.

But there’s an absurd law in her country that prohibits women from driving cars, so she needs a man to give her a lift to the airport. Is there any situation in your own life that resembles hers, Leo? Like maybe you’ve advanced to a higher level without getting certified on a lower level?

Or maybe you’ve got permission and power to operate in a sphere that’s meaningful to you even though you skipped a step along the way? Now would be a good time to think about whether you should do anything about the discrepancy, and if so, how to do it.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to my Sagittarius friend Jonathan Zap, the Greek playwright Aristophanes had an ambivalent attitude about divine blessings. He said that no great gift enters the human sphere without a curse attached to it. I’m sure you know this lesson well. One of last year’s big gifts has revealed its downside in ways that may have been confusing or deflating. But now here comes an unexpected plot twist, allowing you to add a corollary to Aristophanes’ formulation. Soon you will find a second blessing that was hidden within the curse in embryonic form. You’ll be able to tease it out, ripen it, and add it to the bounty of the original gift.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Roots and wings. But let the VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Recent scientific studies have CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Writing in the science wings grow roots and the roots fly.” That was written by Spanish poet Juan Ramon Jimenez, and now I’m passing it on to you. It will serve as a keynote for the turning point you’re about to navigate. In the coming weeks, you’ll generate good fortune by exposing your dark mysterious depths to the big bright sky; you’ll be wise to bring your soaring dreams down to earth for a pit stop. The highs need the influence of the lows, Taurus; the underneath will benefit from feeling the love of what’s up above. There’s one further nuance to be aware of, too: I think you will find it extra interesting to interweave your past with your future.

Give your rich traditions a taste of the stories that are as-yet unwritten.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Is it possible you were a spider

in a previous life? If so, please call on the abilities you developed back then. You need to create an extra big, superfine web, metaphorically speaking, so that you can capture all the raw materials you will be needing in the coming weeks and months. If you’re not sure whether you are the reincarnation of a spider, then simply imagine you were.

Stimulate daydreams in which you visualize yourself as a mover and shaker who’s skilled at snagging the resources and help you require.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): British writer Kenneth Tynan

asked a movie director about how he’d film an advancing army. Did it matter whether the action went from right to left across the frame or left to right? “Of course!” said the director. “To the Western eye, easy or successful movement is left to right, difficult or failed movement is right to left.”

The director showed Tynan an illustrated book as evidence.

On one page, a canoe shooting the rapids was going from left to right, while a man climbing a mountain was headed from right to left. Use this information to your benefit, Cancerian. Every day for the next two weeks, visualize yourself moving from left to right as you fulfill a dream you want to accomplish.

confirmed what Native American folklore reports: Badgers and coyotes sometimes cooperate with each other as they search for food. The coyotes are better at stalking prey above ground, and the badgers take over if the hunted animal slips underground. They share the spoils. I suggest you draw inspiration from their example, Virgo. Is there a person you know who’s skilled at a task you have trouble with and who could benefit from something you’re good at?

It’s prime time to consider forming symbiotic relationships or seeking out unusual partnerships that play to both parties’ strengths.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): How did the Vikings navigate

their ships through rough northern seas on cloudy and foggy days? Medieval texts speak of the mysterious “sunstone,” a “Viking compass” used to detect the hidden sun. Modern theories suggest that this technology may have been Iceland spar, a mineral that polarizes light, making it useful in plotting a course under overcast skies. Do you have anything like that, Libra? A navigational aid that guides your decisions when the sun’s not out, metaphorically speaking? Now would be an excellent time to enhance your connection with whatever it is that can provide such power.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you set up two mirrors in

just the right way, you can get a clear look at the back of your head. You’re able to see what your body looks like from behind. I suggest you try that exercise sometime soon.

It will encourage your subconscious mind to help you discover what has been missing from your self-knowledge.

As a result, you may be drawn to experiences that reveal things about yourself you’ve been resistant to seeing. You could be shown secrets about buried feelings and wishes that you’ve been hiding from yourself. Best of all, you may get intuitions about your soul’s code that you haven’t been ready to understand until now.

magazine Discover, Corey S. Powell says, “There’s an old joke: If you tell someone the universe is expanding, he’ll believe you. If you tell him there’s wet paint on the park bench, he’ll want to touch it to make sure.” In accordance with the astrological omens, Capricorn, I invite you to rebel against this theory. I think it’s quite important for you to demand as much proof for big, faraway claims as for those that are close at hand. Don’t trust anyone’s assertions just because they sound lofty or elegant. Put them to the test.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s an excellent time to

better appreciate your #@%(!)* vexations and botherations.

In fact, let’s go ahead and make this Honor Your #@%(!)* Irritations and Annoyances Week. To properly observe this holiday, study the people and things that irk you so you can extract from them all the blessings and teachings they may provide. Are you too tolerant of an annoying situation that you need to pay closer attention to? Is it time to reclaim the power you’ve been losing because of an exasperating energy-drain? Does some jerk remind you of a quality you don’t like in yourself? Is there a valuable clue or two to be gleaned from a passive-aggressive provocateur?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Seahorses have an unusual

approach to reproduction. It’s the male of the species that cares for the eggs as they gestate. He carries them in a “brood pouch” on his front side. Of course it’s the female who creates the eggs in the first place. After analyzing the astrological factors coming to bear on your destiny, Pisces, I suspect you will benefit from having a seahorselike quality in the coming weeks. Whatever gender you are, your archetypal masculine qualities should play an especially strong role as you nurture a project that’s in its early developmental phases.

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Jonesin’ Crossword

Matt Jones (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

"There Goes the Bride"--it was never meant to last.

Across

Down

1 Cop's ID 6 Like a fairy tale piper 10 Jason's ship 14 "Like ___" (Grateful Dead song) 15 Capital on a fjord 16 Give praise to 17 It gets seated at the dentist 18 3/4, colloquially 20 She untied the knot from Kris Humphries after 72 days 22 Days before holidays 23 "Oh no! A rat!"

24 Type of shark or shrimp 27 Wine list adjective 28 Subject for EMT training 29 "Blah blah blah" 31 "Hold on Tight" group 32 Chinese-born actress ___ Ling 33 Frame you pass through 35 Singer who at age 22 got married in Vegas, then filed an annulment 55 hours later 38 "Don't move until I get back" 39 Utter 40 Do the math 41 Org. on toothpaste boxes 42 Jerry's chaser 43 Police radio report 46 "Drag Me to Hell" director Sam 48 Life force 49 "The Lion King" bad guy 50 She was married to Dennis Rodman for nine days in 1998 54 Goes overboard with the emotion 56 Parks and Acosta 57 Packet at a drive-thru 58 Airport terminal area 59 Tablets that can't be swallowed 60 "South Park" co-creator Parker 61 "Leave in," to a proofreader 62 Merry Pranksters member Ken

1 Source of support 2 Get somewhere 3 Like the three marriages described in the theme answers 4 Stares for a long time 5 Krabappel of "The Simpsons" 6 Skier's layer 7 "Wicked Game" singer Chris 8 Letter-shaped building wings 9 "The lady ___ protest too much, methinks" 10 Asian mountain range 11 Stuff worn in a storm 12 Underside-of-the-desk gunk 13 Poem variety 19 Spot-removing agent 21 Was worried 25 Shade trees 26 Old school hip-hop singer ___ Base 28 They may be swept off pet owners' couches 29 Canon camera 30 Cultivated dirt 32 Took a chunk out of 33 Manic Panic product 34 Conan rival 35 ___ Bing! ("The Sopranos" club) 36 Make the butt of jokes 37 "Golden" time 38 It's good for absolutely nothing [hunh] 42 1995 Sandra Bullock techno-thriller 43 Fulfills the role of 44 Pride event 45 Loud 47 ___ McFly of "Back to the Future" 48 Old slang for a 100-dollar bill 49 Listerine rival 51 Russian fighter jets 52 State, to the French 53 Actor Estrada 54 West Coast clock setting: abbr.

55 Dinghy need ©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords

22 theVAULTmagazine

MARCH 16, 20 12

Saint Patrick's Day Word Search

SAINT PATRICK IRELAND GREEN PINCH POT OF GOLD MARCH

SEVENTEEN SHAMROCK GUINNESS JAMESON CLOVER MUSIC

LEPRECHAUN LUCK OF THE IRISH PARADE BLARNEY STONE THE POGUES SHILLELAGH

CELTIC KNOT JIG RAINBOW SNAKES

www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTIONS

SUDOKU To Play: Complete the grid so that every row, column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. There is no guessing or math involved, just use logic to solve.

QUOTE SCRAMBLE "Have no fear of perfection-you'll never reach it."

[Salvador Dali] "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

[Friendrich Nietzsche]

PUZZLES & HUMOUR

Obscure Wizardry

By Jason Hewitt

All Comics are by local Peace Region artists

Submit your 8" x 2" homemade comic today. Email: thepit@thevaultmag.com

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