theVAULTmagazine ~ Issue 4 by VAULTmedia

theVAULTmagazine

Issue #4 - November 11, 2011

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theVAULTmagazine

Issue #4 - November 11, 2011

SECTIONS Editor/Publisher

Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

Social Media/Reception Mary Warren

Logo Design Michael Boone

Layout Design

Jenelle Lizotte Christine Taylor Tormaigh Van Slyke Chris Zwick

Distributor

Buzz Lorenzen DVS

Website Design

Sush Wong & Doug Hurst, Wild Card Technology Solutions

Ad Design

Clayton Hall Aimie Williams Sush Wong

04 Inside the Vault 06 Second Day News 08 Community Calendar 12 Entertainment 14 Arts 15 Lifestyle 17 Reader Submitted 19 Humour 20 Rants & Raves 21 Astrology 22 Puzzles & Comics

Ad Sales

Tormaigh Van Slyke

Photography

Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

Contributors

Buzz Lorenzen Mark Rieder Susan Thompson Mary Warren Chris Zwick

theVAULTmagazine is available free of charge at over 75 locations in the greater Peace Region every other Friday. We are funded solely through the support of our advertisers. theVAULTmagazine is published biweekly by Plato’s Cave Publishing. No content herein can be reproduced without written consent of the publisher. We accept contributions provided they are the property of the contributor and are offered exclusively to theVAULTmagazine. The publisher assumes no responsibility for the return or safety of contributed materials and therefore will not be held responsible. All opinions or statements expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher or staff. The reader must understand that all information presented in this publication is from various sources, therefore theVAULTmagazine cannot be held responsible for any accuracy, completeness or legalities. We ask that each reader take only one copy, unless your grabbing one for your friend. That is all.

Feature 10 Canadian Forces Through the Generations

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10506 101 ST. PEACE RIVER, AB. T8S-1L1 WWW.THEVAULTMAG.COM THEVAULTMAGAZINE@HOTMAIL.COM WWW.THEVAULTMAGAZINE.TUMBLR.COM

New Items in Store Weekly Wide variety of gift ideas Advice & Discounts for Weddings & Events

HWY 2, Grimshaw 780-332-2299

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INSIDE THE VAULT NEWS SNIPPETS SKY ROCK FLY QUICK

EVER-CHANGING ALBERTA

CEMETERY COLLECTOR CAUGHT

Scientists were paying close attention to the sky Tuesday night as an asteroid, 400 metres in diameter, passed between the orbits of the Earth and moon, providing an excellent opportunity to study the extraterrestrial body somewhat close up.

A Lethbridge political scientist shared the findings of a recently conducted telephone survey last week, saying results show Albertans are taking a more liberal stand on some hot-button issues.

Police in Russia report they’ve taken a man into custody after he took his academic interest in local cemeteries to morbid new levels.

Asteroid 2005 YU 55 whizzed by the Earth at a speed of 46,000 km an hour, missing the home planet by 323,737 km. By comparison, the moon is about 405,500 km away at its furthest point. The asteroid was discovered in 2005 and was never thought to be of any risk.It was, however, the largest known body to come this close to colliding with Earth in recorded history. The rock has actually passed by the Earth many times before, and will again, as it follows an elliptical orbit around the sun.

Fifty-four per cent supported the re-introduction of capital punishment, down from 59 per cent two years ago; and 84 per cent supported the pro-choice option in the abortion debate, up six per cent from a similar survey conducted in 2009. Support for same-sex marriage grew to 72 per cent (ballooning from 28 per cent 15 years ago) while 75 per cent support the legalization of cannabis for medicinal purposes. The survey polled 1,237 Albertans in early October and has a margin of error of 2.8 percentage points, 19 times out of 20.

Historian Anatoly Moskvin, 45, was well known in the region of Nizhny Novgorod, on the Volga River, about 400 km east of Moscow, for his expertise in local graveyards and had numerous articles published on the subject. Because of his expertise, police consulted him regarding a rash of ongoing cemetery desecrations dating back to 2010. A police video now circulating on the internet shows the mummified remains of 29 young women they allege Moskvin removed from several cemeteries in the area, adorned in bright-coloured dresses and head-scarves that had also been robbed from graves, and displayed in his apartment like

dolls, which he shared with his parents.

PREMIER AND PROTESTORS HEAD TO WASHINGTON Alberta premier Alison Redford will visit Washington next week, not to lobby the U.S. government on behalf of the proposed Keystone XL pipeline from Alberta to Texas, but to share Alberta’s experience with resource and pipeline development. The premier’s Washington visit comes on the heels of one of the biggest American protests against the 2,700 km, $7 billion pipeline project that will see oil produced in Alberta transported to refineries in Texas. Thousands of protestors surrounded the White House the first week of November to influence their government to reconsider the development. Since then the U.S State Department announced

a special review of the Obama administration’s handling of the proposal, and put an official decision on hold.

7 BILLION HUMANS Every second there are four to five babies born on the planet, so it was awfully difficult to pinpoint the exact moment the seven billionth human on the planet was born. Those who study such things though say the event occurred on Oct. 31. United Nations demographers say that statistically the child was most likely born in China or India but the symbolic title was bestowed upon Danica May Camacho, born at 11:59 pm in Manila, Philippines. The population has doubled in the last 50 years and is expected to reach 10 billion before 2050, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

TOWN OF PEACE RIVER REVISION OF OFFSITE LEVY BYLAW 1851 PUBLIC MEETING

v The Town of Peace River is conducting a review of the Offsite Levy Bylaw. As part of the public consultation process, a public meeting will be conducted. The purpose of this public meeting is to provide the public the opportunity to comment on the proposed changes that have been made to Offsite Levy Bylaw. When: November 18th 2011, 5pm - 7pm Where: Town of Peace River Municipal Library 9807-97 Avenue Peace River, Alberta T8S 1H6 The Town of Peace River requested that all interested patrons contact: Eric Chow Manager of Planning & Development/Development Officer at P.O. Box 6600, 9911-100 Street Peace River, AB T8S 1S4 Ph: (780) 624-2574 Fax: (780) 624-4664

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INSIDE THE VAULT Media and the Military: A History of Collusion BY MARK RIEDER

ince the early days of the press, media and warfare have held a close connection. But since the turn of the 20th century, that connection has become one of complicity and the promotion of war. The Spanish-American war of 1898 provided one of the first modern examples of the role media has played in the theatre of battle. The U.S. had massive business interests in Cuba. But Cuba was subject to Spanish trade law and taxes. The media, lead by the Hearst and Pulitzer news organizations, began publishing claims of torture and cannibalism by the Spanish against the Cubans during a brief rebellion. They sent reporters to cover the conflict. In a now famous communiqué, correspondent Frederick Remington cabled Hearst, saying “There is no war, request to be recalled.” Hearst telegraphed back “Please remain. You furnish the pictures, I’ll furnish the war.” Under pressure from the business lobby, and prodded by exaggerated stories in Hearst newspapers, anti-war President McKinley eventually sent the battleship Maine to Cuba. Three weeks later, the Maine exploded, killing 266 sailors. The Hearst press accused the Spanish for the explosion and the United States declared war. The U.S. subsequently took ownership of Cuba, The Philippines, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, and Guam. It was later established that the Maine exploded accidentally, likely due to a coal dust fire. This is what has become known as a False Flag operation, a political tactic with roots in the American Revolution when revolutionaries dressed as Native Americans and threw tea into Boston Harbour. Since then, plans for several False Flag operations where the media would play a role in conveying

disinformation to the public have surfaced. In 1997, declassified documents of Operation Northwoods were released, detailing operations proposed in 1962 aimed at deceiving Americans to justify war on Castro’s Cuba. Among the now public recommendations was the use of a commercial flight, boarded only by CIA agents disguised as college students. A remote controlled plane was to follow the flight. The pilot would then radio for help, say they had been attacked by a Cuban fighter, then land. The remote controlled plane would be blown up and the public would be told the college students aboard were killed. The war would surely be justified.

The over-arching issue of having reporters embedded with the military is the lack of contradictory information. This leads to an echo chamber mentality -- that is the same information is repeated and amplified to the point where an extreme and/ or false versions of the truth become believable to the public via the evening news.

Perhaps the most damning statement relating to the complicity between the media and military was made by David Rose, reporter for the British newspaper,The Observer. He wrote many pro-Iraq war articles based on misinformation from the military, that he now recants.

“The facts that I believed to be true in those articles were not true, they were a pack of lies fed to me by a fairly sophisticated misinformation campaign,” he claims, “The enormity of what has happened in Iraq is far bigger than my own embarrassment. What happened was a crime, a crime on a very large scale.”

Public Skating With the Town of Peace River •Sponsored by Clean Harbors•

Public Skating at the Kinsmen Arena Sundays throughout winter, 5pm to 6:30pm

“The intelligent manipulation of the masses is an invisible government, which is the true ruling power in our country,” wrote American public relations pioneer Edward Bernays around the time of the First War. Bernays was a founding member of the U.S. Committee on Public Information, set up expressly to persuade Americans to join the war in Europe, the committee convinced President Woodrow Wilson to set up the world’s first modern pro-war propaganda campaign. But the connection between media and the military reached new heights on the eve of the Iraq invasion. For weeks, reporters were secretly training with American soldiers to prepare for ‘embedding’ with the military. Along with limitations of when and where a reporter can go, is the self-censoring limitation of reporting negative information about a group of people the reporter has travelled over the desert with, and who are protecting the reporter’s very life. This is well known by the Pentagon, an organization that spends over $1 billion annually in advertising alone.

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INSIDE THE VAULT

SECOND DAY NEWS

THE WAR ON W IKILEAKS BY CHRIS ZWICK

ar is not what it used to be. Gone are the days of thousands dying in a single battle. Nowadays bombs are dropped from planes thousands of feet in the air and missiles are launched from super-ships and bases, sometimes in another country. Infantrymen play their role in modern warfare but it’s a far cry from muddy trenches and barbed wire of the major conflicts of the early 20th century. Despite this apparent evolution, the information war is the same as it has always been – strategic disinformation - this is what WikiLeaks has been trying to counteract in its release of diplomatic documents, raw war footage and records of all kinds over the last five years. The organization advocates for truth and transparency but is slowly succumbing to a variety of attacks from those it has exposed and intends to expose. WikiLeaks, led by Editor-inChief Julian Assange, has been a thorn in the side of governments since it started publishing “secrets” over the internet in 2006 but became a particular thorn

for the U.S. government in 2010 with its release of a helicopter video portraying the killing of civilians in Iraq; and later the Afghanistan and Iraq War Logs which detailed more civilian and friendly fire incidents than had previously been reported. By the time the U.S. was able to get a grip on the situation, WikiLeaks had released more than a million sensitive documents to the world, many via a low ranking U.S. soldier named Bradley Manning. Manning has since been detained by the U.S. Army. WikiLeaks sees itself as an “open-source, democratic intelligence agency,” according to its website (WikiLeaks.org) which has suspended publishing and access to its archives due to financial constraints. “The broader principles on which our work is based are the defense of freedom of speech and media publishing, the improvement of our common historical record and the support of the rights of all people to create new history.” Noble goals, but goals their adversaries, including the U.S. government, obviously do not agree with judging by the wrath Assange and WikiLeaks are now experiencing.

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One document released on the WikiLeaks site in February disclosed the tactics opponents and potential targets are willing to employ against them. It outlines the plan of one private

PHOTO: ESPEN MOE

JULIAN ASSANGE, EDITORIN-CHIEF OF WIKILEAKS

intelligence firm, traced back to Bank of America, to discredit WikiLeaks by submitting fake documents; creating concern over security; cyber attacks; embarking on media campaigns to create doubt amongst moderates; and using “social media to profile and identify risky behavior.” Soon after WikiLeaks attracted the attention of the world, two Swedish women came forward accusing Assange of rape and sexual misconduct, Assange has

maintained were the incidents were consensual and the accusations are little more than a smear campaign. Assange notes that he remained in Sweden for five weeks after the allegations were made as the charges were dropped a day after being made but were resumed as it was realized WikiLeaks was having a real impact. After being jailed and put on house arrest in England, Assange’s latest appeal to fight extradition to Sweden to answer to the charges was denied just last week. Barring further appeal to the Supreme Court, Assange will return to Sweden before the end of November, where he expects to be extradited to the U.S. to answer to espionage charges the U.S. has no jurisdiction to enforce. The rapes charges, whether true or false, are irrelevant to the case against WikiLeaks but certainly provide an interesting way to detain its editor-in-chief. Calls for Assange’s assassination came soon after from politicians and policy setters across the world, calling him a terrorist while Visa, MasterCard and PayPal created a financial blockade, virtually cutting off

all resources from a sympathetic public. The U.S. Department of Justice then filed papers to subpoena user records from Twitter, which it did win. Interestingly enough, credit card companies and PayPal still allow payments to be made to white supremacist and other questionable organizations. Meanwhile, Twitter is constantly accused of censoring WikiLeaks posts and denying it is a heavy trending tag. For good or bad, the WikiLeaks saga appears to be near its end, even though it still possesses thousands of unreleased documents. It has already had its impact on truth-seekers and whistleblowers worldwide though. Already credited with political revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt, Occupy Wall Street is also affiliating itself with WikiLeaks and the truth they both desire. Chances are if WikiLeaks publishes something about you, it has the document to back up the allegations. If you have information about WikiLeaks, seriously consider the source, it’s a war after all.

INSIDE THE VAULT

SECOND DAY NEWS

Defining Canada’s Military Role in a Post 9-11 World BY MARK RIEDER

hen Prime Minister Lester Pearson first envisioned an armed force that kept the peace instead of waging war, the role of Canada’s military changed to being a stabilizing force to facilitate peaceful resolution. In the years since the inception of the UN Emergency Forces, the Canadian Armed Forces have equipped and trained their personnel for defensive rather than offensive missions. This strategy drew criticism from within the country, and our allies in NATO. But it has since come full circle. With last week’s return of six CF-18 jet fighters that took part in NATO’s Libyan air campaign, Canada’s most recent military foray in a post 9-11 world came to an end. Though Canada’s role was small in the conflict, it was a defining moment for the simple fact that it was the armed forces first time striking a country that had not attacked another nation. Between Pearson and the turn of the century, Canada’s military expenditures decreased from about five per cent of the gross domestic product to an all-time low of about one per cent in 2001. In 2002, the government began increasing the military budget from less than $12 billion to the current $21 billion. Of that, the Department of National Defence (DND) will spend just under $5 billion on capital expenditures. That will allow the military to begin major equipment purchases, including

an Arctic patrol for the navy, as well as upgrading armoured personnel carriers and the aging Leopard II tank battalions. But the DND’s largest expenditure will be for a program that has not yet been budgeted – the Joint Strike Fighter. Time is running out for the government to make a firm commitment on whether they will buy the controversial F-35 stealth fighter, saying the cost will be in the roughly $75 million each for the projected 65 jets. But Canada’s budget office places the cost closer to $128 million each, and non-governmental auditors say the cost will go as high as $150 million when factoring in other peripheral expenses. That means a total price tag somewhere between $5 billion to $10 billion. Training issues have also become part of the argument. Canada’s respected jet fighter training facility at Cold Lake will become obsolete once the remaining 77 CF-18 fighters are sold or mothballed. The Canadian Forces have conceded to do all their flight training for the stealth fighter at Eglin airbase in Florida. Further controversy has erupted around the number of aircraft the government says they will order. About half of the 65 fighters are earmarked for Canada’s commitment to NATO. It’s estimated that half of the remaining jets will be grounded at any given time for maintenance and repairs, leaving about 17 jets to protect the world’s second largest national

airspace. And there are no plans to replace fighters lost due to accident or military action. Since Canada’s army demobilized at the end of WW2, personnel strength steadily declined to the current 85,000 (65,000 active and support staff, and 20,000 reserves). When Canada began military operations in Afghanistan, the government authorized the DND to begin increasing their ranks. By 2028, the plans are to have around 70,000 active personnel and 30,000 reserves.

Canadian troops taking part in offensive operations compared to their traditional role as defensive forces. But even with the expected increase in personnel, upgrading of armour and new stealth fighters, the Canadian

Forces would only be the sixthlargest military power in NATO. This will keep them in little more than a supporting role within the alliance.

With the government’s stated commitment to defend Canada’s Arctic, there are preliminary plans to increase the naval contingency. But as of yet there is nothing allocated in the budget aside from modernizing the navy’s frigates. Rumours have been making the rounds that the DND is looking at purchasing British nuclear-powered submarines. At a price of around $3 billion each, such a purchase would be prohibitive and unlikely. With the fiasco surrounding the purchase of four surplus diesel-powered subs from Britain in 1998, any plans for another purchase would probably be too politically sensitive even for the majority Conservative government. Since 2001 the Canadian government has made drastic changes in military policy, pulling troops out of UN-controlled missions in favour of NATO missions. This realignment has resulted in

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November Calendar

Nampa Girouxville

Email us at theVAULTmagazine@hotmail.com to add your event to the calendar

SUNDAY, NOV

YOGA (Fitness) - Belle Centre (P.R. Martial Arts Centre - North Side Door). 4pm - From Oct. 2 - Dec. 18. BYO Yoga Mat & Blanket. Beginner and Intermediate. Gentle Flow. Drop in $10. For more info call Lynn at 780-624-4249. FREE SKATE (Family) - Kinsmen Arena 5-6:30pm - Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services.

MONDAY, NOV

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) McLennan Elk’s Hall. 10am - Socialize while exercising and having fun. Every Monday and Thursday. DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec Centre. 5:30-7pm - $6 without gym membership, free w/ membership. Everyone Welcome. WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library 7:30pm - Every Monday. Share and encourage creative writing. For more info call Gordon at 780-332-1732. PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Library 10 - 11;30am - Mondays. For more info call 780-322-3954. MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All pre-school children welcome. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self-Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon & Fri. For more info call 780-219-1485.

SUNDAY, NOV

ZEN MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Fine Arts Centre 10am - For more info call Eileen at 780-494-3410. YOGA (Fitness) - Belle Centre (P.R. Martial Arts Centre - North Side Door). 4pm - From Oct. 2 Dec. 18. BYO Yoga Mat & Blanket. Beginner and Intermediate. Gentle Flow. Drop in $10. For more info call Lynn at 780-624-4249. FREE SKATE (Family) - Kinsmen Arena 5-6:30pm Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services. 12th ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF TREES (Community) - Misery Mountain Ski Chalet - Winter Wonderland Fashion Show & Luncheon 1-3:30pm: Tickets ($30) at Beyond 2000 & Style Ryte, Silent Auction & Public Viewing 4-8pm.

MONDAY, NOV

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elk’s Hall. 10am - Socialize while exercising and having fun. Every Monday and Thursday.

DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec Centre. 5:30-7pm - $6 without gym membership, free w/ membership. Everyone Welcome. WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library 7:30pm - Every Monday. Share and encourage creative writing. For more info call Gordon at 780-332-1732. PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Library 10 - 11;30am - Mondays. For more info call 780-322-3954. MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All pre-school children welcome. FREE SWIM (Community) - Peace Regional Pool 6:30 - 8:30pm - For more info call 780-624-3720 12th ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF TREES (Community) - Misery Mountain Ski Chalet - Silver Bell Social 1-3pm: A free event for 55+. Coffee, tea, desserts. Lloyd Garrison Bell Ringers. Silent Auction and General Public Viewing 12-8pm.

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Berwyn

FALHER

Cadotte Lake

TUESDAY, NOV

WEDNESDAY, NOV

CONVERSATION CORNER (Seniors) Golden Age Club 12pm - For more info call Jean 7810-837-2220.

PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall. 1:30-3pm. Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-322-3954

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) Manning Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) - Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

FAIRVIEW AG SOCIETY DINNER (Community) - Dunvegan Inn 6-9pm - Tickets ($15) include 2011/12 membership & dinner. Guest speaker: Bruno Wiskel. Tickets available at the Dunvegan Inn & Fine Arts Centre. Limited seats available. For more info call Kamie at 780-835-3279.

SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues & Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788. SHELL OPEN HOUSE (Community) - Belle Petroleum Centre 5-8pm - Learn about Shell’s operations on our Peace River oilsands leases. Food and Refreshments. For more info call Bob Blachford at 780-624-6815.

TUESDAY, NOV

READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - Peace River Municipal Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your reading skills). Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-624-4076

WEDNESDAY, NOV

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday. For more information call 780-624-4710

READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - Peace River Municipal Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your reading skills). Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-624-4076.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church (upstairs) 7:30pm - For more information call Sharon at 780-624-8778.

PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 1:30-3pm - For more info call 780-322-3954

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) Manning Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome! HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838. SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues & Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) - Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443

FRIDAY, NOV

OL’ TYME FAMILY NIGHT (Community) - Elk’s Hall 6:30 Potluck 7:30 Dance - Every Fri from Sept-June. For more info call Jean 780-837-2220 REMEMBRANCE DAY SERVICE (Community) - TA Norris School 10:30am - Everyone welcome.

DIXONVILLE

DROP-IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership or free with a gym membership. Every Friday.

McLennan

SATURDAY, NOV

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Grace United Church. 8pm - Every Saturday. For more info call 780-624-4710.

EPAD DRAW AT VILLAGE AVU - Village AVU and theVAULTmagazine are giving away an ePad! All you have to do is “Like” Village AVU on Facebook and write ePad on their wall! The winner will be announced today!

HATHOR WORLD MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Horizon Learning Centre 7:30 - 8:45pm - w/ Josee Boulianne & Janet Blayone (1.25h) $11. To register call 780-624-4220.

Grimshaw

NO SCHOOL DAYS SKATING (Community) - Grimshaw Multiplex - Public Skating 1-2:30pm, Shinny Hockey 2:304:45pm. For more info call the Multiplex at 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

Peace river

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self-Help) - Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon & Fri. For more info call 780-219-1485.

fairview

REMEMBRANCE DAY BANQUET AND SOCIAL (Community) - Fairview Legion Doors: 2pm, Banquet: 6pm, Social to follow - Tickets ($20) available at Legion, Farmer’s Market, Ruby’s Variety Shop.

Manning

REMEMBRANCE DAY AT THE MUSEUM (Community) - PR Museum, Archives & Mackenzie Centre 11-4pm - Observe objects and uniforms from local veterans.

THURSDAY, NOV

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday. For more information call 780-624-4710

FRIDAY, NOV

DROP-IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership or free with a gym membership. Every Friday.

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elk’s Hall. 10am - Socialize while exercising and having fun. Every Monday and Thursday.

12th ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF TREES (Community) - Misery Mountain Ski Chalet 6-1AM - Opening Night Gala. Dinner, Cash bar, Kikbak, Live Auction. Tickets ($75) at Style Ryte and Beyond 2000.

KIDS CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall. 4-5:30pm. Ages 6-9. For more info call 780-322-3954

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self-Help) - Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon & Fri. For more info call 780-219-1485.

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Manning Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome! HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 - Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

SATURDAY, NOV

12th ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF TREES (Community) - Misery Mountain Ski Chalet - Silent Auction & General Public Viewing 12-8pm, Gingerbread Village 1-4pm: Cookie decorating, Photos w/ Santa, Children’s Entertainment

GRIMSHAW CHRISTMAS MARKET (Community) Grimshaw Multiplex 10-4pm - To register a table ($40 or $50 w/ power) call 780-332-2139. FIESTA LATINA (Music) - Belle Petroleum Centre 7:30-1:30pm - Doors open at 7:30, Taco Bar, Salsa lessons from 8-9pm, Dance w/ 12-piece band from Edmonton: Tumbao Vibe. Cash Bar (drink specials and Margaritas). Tickets ($20adv/$25door) available at Main Street Shell & Aspen Grove Spa.

MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7:30pm - $2 donations. All money collected will be donated to charity. SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues & Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

THURSDAY, NOV

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elk’s Hall. 10am - Socialize while exercising and having fun. Every Monday and Thursday. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Tues & Thurs. For more information call 780-624-4710 KIDS CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 4-5:30pm - Ages 6-9. For more info call 780-322-3954 SANTA & MRS. CLAUS (Family) - Grimshaw Library 6:30-8:30 - Pictures, stories, crafts and carolling. For details or to book a tour call Linda at 780-332-4553. MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Manning Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tues & Thurs. FREE Everyone welcome! HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7:30pm $2 donations. All money collected will be donated to charity.

PROUD TO SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY! Inquire about coffee for your next event.

All information presented in this calendar is gathered from a variety of sources. theVAULTmagazine assumes no responsibility for any misrepresented information. We mean well. Any corrections or compliments can be directed to thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com CRAC K T H E VAULT

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THE FEATURE The Canadian Forces Through the Generations about it. When you’re in, you’re in. I don’t think about going overseas often. If you were going to do it, then you went and did it. It didn’t bother me.”

BY TORMAIGH VAN SLYKE Over the years the Canadian Military has changed significantly. War doesn’t mean the same thing it once did.

Steedsman explained that he wasn’t seriously injured, but he couldn’t say the same for many of his fellow soldiers.

Most people cannot fathom, appreciate, or understand world war—myself included. And, the generation that can is fading fast. Medals and uniforms stored in attics and basements. A memory. A story. Locked forever in the minds of an elder population— RUBY AND RON STEEDSMAN whether they want it or not. During this time of year, directly following Halloween, we are told to remember, to respect, and to be silent. Many cannot give this holiday the respect it deserves because all of the words, pictures, and film devoted to the Great Wars cannot communicate the weight and severity of the conflicts. What it meant. What it still means. We often take our freedom for granted. We complain about the price of gas or credit card bills or the weather. How do we fully appreciate the people who offered their lives—and still do—to afford us the luxuries that we have become so accustomed to? For the past 10 years, Canada has been at war in Afghanistan. Even here in northern Alberta we are reminded of the War on Terror, usually several times each week. While everyone has their own feelings and opinions

on the subject, one thing is certain—our government is actively involved in a power struggle. The fact that we’re actually winning isn’t always as clear. On November 12th, Ron Steedsman—a veteran of World War II—turns 94 years-old. He lives with his wife Ruby, 77, in Peace River and has called this place home since moving here from Saskatchewan sometime around 1927. Steedsman remembers when the face of the Canadian Forces was much different. Before 1939, Canada’s military was very small and underequipped. During World War II 1.1 million, close to 10 per cent, of all Canadians served in the Canadian Forces. The stakes were high. Had Hitler and the Axis triumphed, Canadian life as we know it would have likely been eradicated. One hundred thousand

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Canadians would be seriously injured or lose their lives. It was 1941 when a 23-yearold Steedsman drove with his father to catch a steam train in McLennan. Steedsman remembers receiving a train ticket in the mail. He, along with many other young men from the Peace Region, would eventually end up in Calgary from Grande Prairie where they were asked to join the war efforts. “Pretty well all us boys from Grande Prairie joined up. There were about 200 of us there,” said Steedsman. Steedsman described training in Grande Prairie, Calgary, and Hamilton for several months before catching a boat over to England. “You have to get into shape to go overseas,” he said with vigor. “I try not to think too much

“You’d go onto the other side of the English Channel and you were lucky if you didn’t get shot. We were eating dinner in the mess hall once. And there was a landmine over in the bush a little ways away. Two men and two women were walking through there. It blew the window out all over our dinner. The guys were running out. ‘Stay in here!’ [The soldiers were instructed] They had to come back and sit down. Then, some people had to go and pick some bodies up over there. Yeah. The landmines,” Steedsman said. Another story went like this. “We were coming back from the frontlines and these two women were standing by the building. One of the girls went like this,” he showed a teasing gesture (thumb on nose wiggle fingers) “and one of the guys jumped out of the truck and went after them. That was a bad thing. They had a rifle. He got his head blown off,” explained Steedsman. For Steedsman, the two weeks it took to sail home was “the slow

part.” He recalled meeting his parents at the train station. “I didn’t do much for a while after I got back. It took a while to cool down. I was waiting for orders. I stayed with Mom and Dad, and then I went to Calgary and was discharged. It’s nice to get out and go where you want. There’s no one to tell you where to go or where not to go. You’re free,” he explained. Steedsman says he has shown no interest in wars following World War II. “No. I didn’t pay attention to that. Not a thing. It was enough where I was,” Steedsman said. His wife, Ruby, had this to say about the media’s role in war: “I think they tend to glamorize it. And there is nothing glamorous about it. It’s a crying shame all these young fellows they send over to Afghanistan, and they come back dead or all blown apart. Young people have such opportunities now,” said Ruby. Ruby says that when she was young she used to admire countries that stayed neutral in the World War II, but now she feels that “you have to stand up and be counted sometimes.” It has been over 65 years since the end of World War II. The Cold War would follow, and so would more than 45 years of bloody overseas conflicts and

THE FEATURE home-based uncertainty and paranoia. These are the years that many more of us may remember, but let’s not forget that it’s been some 20 years since the end of the Cold War. Our younger generation of military recruits has a much different frame of reference. Matthew Caron, 26, is from Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. At a young age he moved to the Peace Region, attending elementary school in Berwyn and Air Cadets in Peace River. After living in northern Alberta for about five years, his mother met someone in the military and they all relocated to an Edmonton military base. Caron would later join the Canadian Forces, himself. “The first day I joined was a whole new experience—a different world in itself. I was excited. My basic was in Borden, Ontario,” said Caron. Caron’s desire to join the military stemmed from adolescence. “I’ve always wanted to join. It was something inside that I had to fulfill, one of those bucket list things. I used to wear military clothing as a teen, and I used to buy military surplus gear. I also watched lots of war movies.” A testament to modern times, Caron’s correspondence came via Facebook from Dundurn, Saskatchewan, where he was doing a field exercise as a mechanic and “sleeping in tents. It’s cold,” admitted Caron. To date, Caron has not seen combat. He has completed his “book work” and is currently performing “on-job training.” Looking back, Caron said, “It was difficult to decide if I

wanted to join because I would be away from my family for long periods of time whenever I was called upon. It was physically and mentally challenging, and it still is. But it’s like a big family. I love it.” These sentiments toward the Canadian Forces appear to be quite common. Travis Nelson, 32, formally from Fairview and Peace River, can also attest to the strong family values and his sense of affection for the military. Unknowingly, Nelson began his military career at the age of 12 when he joined the Fairview Air Cadets. He would find the organization strict and drop out when he was 13. Upon moving to Peace River when he was 15, Nelson decided to join the Peace River Air Cadets as a way to make friends, meet new people, and learn new skills. “It turned out to be quite a big turning point in my life. It was an awesome experience,” explained Nelson. “There wasn’t much of a transition. I stayed in the cadets until I was 18 yearsold. I didn’t join the Canadian Forces until I was 21. So, there were three years where I was just a regular civilian. I had my civilian job. And it wasn’t until March 2001 that I enrolled in the forces.” Nelson moved to Edmonton when he was 19 years-old in search of direction. “I saw a lot of people going off to college, off to university, off to trade school, and taking apprenticeship programs, and I just wanted to do something different,” Nelson explained. “That is the simplest way I can say it. I wanted to get out and see the world, and I

knew the military would be the opportunity to do it.” In the early months of 2001, Nelson found himself visiting recruitment centres and weighing his options. After filling out aptitude tests and a “fair bit of paperwork,” Nelson decided to choose Marine Engineering, a highly technical trade within the Royal Canadian Navy. “I just found it interesting. I didn’t know a lot about engineering. I did not have a mechanical background at all. I just thought the Royal Canadian Navy was the place for me. On March 23rd, 2001, I signed the dotted line to be a Marine Engineer, and on April 2nd I was flown to St. Jean Sur Richelieu, Quebec, for basic training. Ten weeks after that, I was flown to Victoria B.C. to the base in Esquimalt for a couple of months of engineering training, and after that I was posted to Halifax, Nova Scotia— where I have been for the last ten years,” said Nelson. Like Caron, Nelson has not experienced combat, but Nelson has undergone two six-month tours of service. The first was on the Arabian Sea in 2003 as a part of Canada’s contribution to the War on Terrorism, and the second was off the horn of Africa in 2008 as a part of Canada’s contribution to the Anti-Piracy Mission. Nelson described being able to communicate with his family while overseas. “We have internet access on the ships and we are allowed to send emails home. There are even a couple of [satellite] phones on the ship and we’re allowed 30 minutes of phone time each week. Just being able to talk to them and have that connection

really made the time go a lot quicker and a lot easier. There are a lot of guys that I work with that would tell us stories of back in the day. They would send letters home and their wives wouldn`t get them for two months or even three months. Those are some tough sailors for sure. We have a pretty good life,” said Nelson. Nelson explained what is was like for him to arrive home after his tours on duty. “It was an absolutely fantastic feeling to come home. The ship is coming alongside at the dock, and the media is there, and the band is playing, and you can see everybody`s loved ones on the dock. I can see my wife waving at me. It was an absolutely awesome feeling. Never so happy and proud in my life is when we were arriving home. I feel lucky to have been able to have done it twice,” Nelson stated with sincerity. Over the 10-year Afghanistan War, Canada has lost 188 military personnel. For Canada, this is the largest fatality number for any single military mission since the Korean War (1950-1953). “It’s more than a job. There’s definitely a lifestyle aspect to it. It`s been awesome for me and my family both. As a whole, the job exceeded expectations for me. I love my job. I’m happy with what I do. I’m proud of it. All of the people I’ve had the pleasure of serving with in the forces definitely have a level of devotion to their job that I have never seen in any other job that I’ve had. They’re a different sort,” explained Nelson.

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TRAVIS NELSON

Nelson’s words ring true. In March of 2006, Timothy Wilson, whose hometown was Grande Prairie, became a casualty of the Afghanistan War. According to the CBC, Wilson’s mother reported the following to the Department of National Defence: “We have always supported Tim’s military career. Although he has died, he did so doing something he loved and deeply believed in—both in life and in death.” Though troops are now scheduled to withdraw from Afghanistan in by the end of this year, the Canadian Forces will likely not resign from its international involvement any time soon. Sadly, world peace has not been achieved, and so like it or not, our government will surely continue to involve us in the struggle for power. To a large degree, our Canadian way of life is dependent on their success. Thus, the Canadian Forces adapts, bolsters new strength, and extends to reach a growing number of northern Albertans.

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ENTERTAINMENT George Ireland and the Boxcar Social Delight the undergound Crowd

PHOTOGRAPHY: TORMAIGH VAN SLYKE & JENELLE LIZOTTE

BY JENELLE LIZOTTE

eorge Ireland and the Boxcar Social haunted the Senior Citizen’s Drop In Centre for the underground Music Society’s much anticipated annual Halloween dance on October 28. To kick of the sold-out event, Susan “Sisu” Thompson and Pyromance delighted a costumed crowd by doing a fire performance on the tiki torch-lit lawn of the venue. The performers dazzled onlookers with a variety props aflame

including fire fingers, fans, and cane. The performance’s finale was grand, indeed. Jesse Bursey and Megan Paul warmed the crowd up with fire poi, Sisu rocked the palm torches, Doug Thompson busted out the fire wings, and Trinity Thompson Fire hulaed. Passerbys in vehicles hooted and hollered as they drove by. A warm reception complemented the chilly fall air. Pyromance also treated the crowd to a LED performance in the hall during intermission.

The opening act, a rare treat for the underground going public, was Bible Belt Badlands from Victoria, BC. Dressed as a hot dog and a baseball player, the self-proclaimed spaghetti western/surf/garage/punk duo warmed up the crowd with their unique sound.

As George Ireland and the Boxcar Social took the stage at around 11, anxious dancers rushed to the stage. There was little elbow room, but that didn’t stop more and more dancers from crowding the stage to intimately take in the gypsy/folk/ country offerings.

A treat for me, was seeing all the inventive and homemade costumes, a common Halloween underground attribute. Some were funny, some were cool, and some were very clever—y’know the kind where you have to look at the costume for a few seconds to get it.

The lineup for the band expanded, as it often does from performance to performance, to include a washboard and a saw. The saw especially, added an appropriate sound for a Halloween gig.

Highlights of the show were the Johnny Cash cover of “I Never Picked Cotton,” where he shared the stage with local singer/songwriter John Peel, a cover of “A Pair of Brown Eyes,” by the Pogues, and a fantastic George Ireland original “Country Roads”—a song about how he can never return home to Alberta. As the night wound down, the ghouls and goblins slowly trickled out of the hall. The underground’s Halloween bash, once again, left no trick or treat unturned.

ARTIST DIRECTORY BUZZ LORENZEN

VERNON LEDGER

ARIANA HAMMERBERG

Musician (Deeply melodic and even more deeply insane. The antidote to the emptiness of existence.) drbuzzmd@yahoo.com

Musician (Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals. Band: A New Direction. Teaches Song Writing, Jams, Available for events.) 780-624-2693 nervedge1984@live.com

Oil, Acrylic, & Watercolour (Landscapes,abstract,mixed media) 780-625-1794 ahammerberg@yahoo.com FB: Paintings by Ariana

CAROLYN GERK Pencil, Acrylic, & Watercolor (Portraits, landscapes, still life, children’s decor, murals, personalized items, decorative art and gifts. Requests welcome) 780-625-1215 carolyn.2345@hotmail.com FB: Creative Design by Carolyn

SUSAN THOMPSON Dancer (Belly dance, fire dance, fire fans, palm torches, LED fans, choreographed or freestyle, go-go dancing) vantom@xplornet.com FB: Sisu Belly Dancer

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Marie Eldstrom Photographer (Owns House of E Photographic Imagery. Book a session. Tell your story. Promises a unique and exciting experience. Portraits & Prints.) marieeldstrom@gmail.com houseofphotographicartistry. blogspot.com

Alecia Vogel

Leah Wood

Singer/Songwriter (Gravitates more towards the pop/folk side of things. Also in the midst of releasing a demo and loving every moment of it.) aleciahh@gmail.com 780-625-7329

Photographer (Do you want unique photos? Order your session today!) 780-618-8204 leahwoodphotography.com leahwoodphotography.com/blog

MARY WARREN Graphite & Ink (Realistic to animated, I enjoy working with nearly all mediums and art forms. I also dabble in clothing design.) sickyslimys@hotmail.com

Are you an artist or musician who would like to be featured in theVAULTmagazine’s Artist Directory? Email us your info at thevaultmagazine@hotmail. com

ENTERTAINMENT CA L L OF D U T Y: BLAC K OP S still playing on a regular basis. THE REAL FUN, AS ANY PLAYER OF BLACK OPS WILL TELL YOU, IS THE ZOMBIE SURVIVAL

A REVIEW BY BUZZ LORENZEN

ctivision’s Call of Duty: Black Ops has been hugely successful since its release in Nov. 2010 – after only 24 hours on shelves, 5.6 million copies had been sold, and after only a month the game had made over $1 billion worldwide. Now, a year since its release, with sales still going

strong, Black Ops is officially one of the world’s most popular first-person shooters, played by millions of people all over the world. Availability across multiple platforms has made it possible for nearly everyone with access to a video game console to participate. Personally, I play on my Nintendo Wii, but have played on multiple systems, and with many people. Most of the gamers I know who bought it are

MODE.

Black Ops follows a non-linear story throughout several different wars. In between flashback sequences we see the story of a prisoner being tortured for information. Each of the flashback scenes represent the answer the prisoner gives to his torturer’s relentless questions. While I have yet to finish (mainly due to the

discovery of zombie mode), I have, so far, found the story to be intriguing and very well written. The game play is definitely on par with the rest of the Call of Duty series, and playing on the Wii I found the controls basically the same as most other first person shooters. The online multiplayer remains active and enjoyable, but doesn’t really stand out from other games of the genre. And playing through missions in campaign mode, while also enjoyable, was not the best part of the game. The real fun, as any player of Black Ops will tell you, is the zombie survival mode. Fighting

CRAC K T H E VAULT

off wave after wave of Nazi zombies, either alone or with a friend quickly becomes the main reason to continue playing this game. There is an option to team up with other players online and defend against the endless hordes of zombies, there is no winning. It is simply a matter of how long you can survive. The replay value of this is tremendous, making players go through the levels again and again in hopes of lasting just one more round. Call of Duty: Black Ops has the story and features to keep gamers playing for at least the next few years, until the next installment of the series comes out anyway. I would rate it 8 out of 10 brains, but a zombie ate mine.

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ARTS Susan Thompson: Fire Goddess

PHOTOGRAPHY: SANDY PHIMESTER

BY JENELLE LIZOTTE THE ARTIST MUST CREATE A SPARK BEFORE HE CAN MAKE A FIRE AND BEFORE ART IS BORN, THE ARTIST MUST BE READY TO BE CONSUMED BY THE FIRE OF HIS OWN CREATION. [AUGUSTE RODIN]

Susan “Sisu” Thompson literally burns for her art. The local belly dancer has found her calling in fire performing. Sisu, whose stage names means “inner strength” in Finnish, has been featured on CBC’s Alberta Cultureville and more recently performed at the underground

Music Society’s Halloween Dance, with her upstart troupe Pyromance. She also recently performed at Harleyween in Fairview. Sisu first discovered her love for fire performing while using candles in belly dance. “I’m married to a welder and I’m a pyro, so I was like, ‘this is not enough,’” said Sisu in an interview with theVAULTmagazine. Sisu, who started performing with fire in August 2010, takes belly dance concepts and incorporates “tech spinning” methods to create a hybrid of the two disciplines. Whereas belly dance is more slow and elegant, tech spinning involves technical tricks and is more based on

poi, a performance art involving swinging tethered weights. Sisu’s newest quest is the acquisition of “flow.” Flow, Sisu explained, is a kind of spiritual enlightenment, the search for altered states of consciousness. “It’s the intersection of the tricks you’ve learned coming together in this seamless flow that matches your mood, your environment, and your expression, so that you’re actually creating a piece of art.” In order to explain the highest form of flow, Sisu used the analogy of getting so immersed in a book that you’ve kind of left the plane that you’re on. You look up, unaware of where you are or how much time has passed.

Sisu discussed how, as adults, we don’t really harness the opportunity to play. We stifle ourselves with insecurity and self-consciousness. For Sisu, performing is like intentional play, a chance to flex our creative muscles and learn about ourselves through the experience. Sisu’s advice for anyone wanting to get into this unique art form is to practice unlit first, start small, and to always, always, always practice with someone else. Sisu also noted that the community of spinners is very giving. Networking can be done on Facebook, forums, workshops, and spin jams—although, one might have to travel to a larger centre to access the last two.

When you see her perform, you can see the passion in her eyes— the infatuation with the flame. Calm and focussed, she does not seem afraid or insecure about the threat of the burn. Her performances are hypnotic, sensual and eerily calming. Make sure you catch Sisu’s unique talent—especially since it is in your own backyard. Sisu’s next performance will be on November 18th at the Grande Prairie Festival of Trees. She will also be performing at Carnaval in St. Isidore in February. She is available for private events and bookings through Christmas and into 2012. See the Artist Directory (p.17) for contact information.

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LIFESTYLE Occupy Movement Demands Fresh Thinking – for our Grandchildren creations! We should be looking for ways to make our systems work with nature, not the other way around. It’s a message that’s starting to emerge from the Occupy movement. It’s not just about the one per cent who rake in an ever-increasing proportion of society’s wealth while 99 per cent bear the real costs. It’s also about corporate power and the systems that facilitate it. A few corporations have become bigger than most governments.

BY DAVID SUZUKI Science Matters Vol. 13, No. 45 8 November 2011

The laws of physics tell us we can’t build a rocket that will travel faster than the speed of light, that gravity governs objects on Earth, and that perpetual motion machines are not possible. In chemistry, diffusion constants, reaction rates, and atomic properties set the limits of chemical reactions and types of molecules that can be synthesized. Biology dictates our absolute need for clean air, clean water, clean soil, clean energy, and biodiversity for our survival and health. Those are laws of nature and we can’t change them. We have to live within their boundaries. Capitalism, free enterprise, the economy, corporations, currency, markets, and regional borders are not forces of nature. We invented them. If they don’t work, we can and must change them. Instead we try to alter nature to fit our priorities. Look at what happened at the Copenhagen Climate Summit in December 2009. We saw 192 nations gathered to deal with the atmosphere that belongs to no one – 192 national borders, 192 economic priorities, trying to shoehorn nature to fit our

Occupiers know, because so many are young, that the inequities represented by the one per cent today are also intergenerational. Although not all corporations are bad, many of them, and the super-rich who run them, are increasing their wealth at the expense of generations to come – exhausting resources, extinguishing species, and poisoning air, water, and soil. The costs of those problems will be most strongly felt by successive generations to come, yet economists discount them. Why do the governments we elect to look after our well-being and future act as cheerleaders for the corporate sector? Because money talks. Corporations may produce or do things that we need and that are good for society, but their real mandate is to make money, and the more they make and the faster they make it, the better. Corporations are said to be the economic engines of society. But as Joel Bakan explains in his book The Corporation, when profit is their primary goal, corporate leaders will fight to reduce their share of taxes, demand subsidies, oppose regulations, and fire hundreds of employees for the sake of the bottom line. Globalization does not encourage the highest standards for workers, communities, or

Sopes Recipe

ecosystems. Instead, corporations often go for the lowest standards of medical care, wages, and environmental regulations because it’s all about maximizing profit. The global economy means our garbage and toxic effluents are shared with the world, dumped into the air, water, and land. When you buy running shoes, a cellphone, or a car, it’s almost impossible to know whether slave or child labour was involved in its production. How can you be aware of the ecological impacts or the toxic materials that may be generated in the manufacturing process? These costs are hidden, yet each time we make a purchase, we become part of that system that exploits people and ecosystems. To me, the Occupy movement is about putting decisions and democracy back into the hands of people. We need democracy for people, not corporations; we want greater equity; we demand social justice; and we want to recognize and protect our most fundamental needs – clean air, clean water, clean soil, clean energy, biological diversity, and communities that support our children with love and care. My generation and the boomers who followed have lived like reckless royalty and thoughtlessly partied like there’s no tomorrow. We forgot the lessons taught to us by our parents and grandparents who came through the Great Depression: live within your means and save some for tomorrow; satisfy your needs and not your wants; help your neighbours; share and don’t be greedy; money doesn’t make you a better or more important person. Well, the party’s over. It’s time to clean up our mess and think about our children and grandchildren.

PHOTOGRAPHY: MARY WARREN

BY MARY WARREN Sopes is a common dish in Mexico with many varieties. This particular type of sopes is very popular in Sinaloa. This is a recipe for two people courtesy of Erick Parra. Ingredients: Tortilla: 300g Corn Flour 5g Baking Powder 1 cup warm water

the dough stops being sticky and crumbling. Make small thick tortillas. Fry them in a hot pan for 30-60 seconds. 2) Boil 400 grams of stew meat until cooked, take out the meat and add pasta sauce, salt and 2 bay leaves into the water. Let simmer for about 2 minutes. Season to taste. This broth can also be eaten as a soup! 3) Cut the meat into small cubes then fry in a hot pan of oil. Fry your tortillas in the left over oil.

Toppings: Stew Beef Onion Cucumber Carrot Lettuce Sour Cream

4) Slice your onions and cucumber. 5) Grate your carrots and lettuce. Smear refried beans on your tortilla, add some meat, onion, lettuce, carrot and cucumber.

Broth: Bay Leaves Pasta Sauce or tomatoes Salt 1) To make tortillas, mix everything together and knead. Continue adding water until

6) Add a topping of sour cream and the broth you simmered. Enjoy!

Learn more at www.davidsuzuki.org. CRAC K T H E VAULT

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LIFESTYLE MILITARY GARB: AN ANTI-FASHION STATEMENT BY SUSAN THOMPSON

’ve got kind of a weird confession. I’m about as peacenik as they come – but I love the smell of a military surplus store. I’ve loved that distinctive, slightly-musty scent since my university days hunting for green cargo pants and combat boots with my thenboyfriend-and-now-husband Doug at Quinn the Eskimo and Crown Surplus in Calgary. We went there because the clothes were relatively cheap and lasted forever, and because they were anti-fashion. They were utilitarian. They were different. They were punk. I wore a peace symbol on my German military jacket with pride. Then it seemed like everyone started wearing the mainstream knockoffs as cargo pants became a trend, and we quit wearing them. Crown Surplus became a hot spot for the occasional Hollywood star sighting, as

Calgary became a growing part of Hollywood north. (Although the store has since gone out of business, because fashion is a fickle mistress.)

use of strong visual symbols and appealing uniforms. Check out the 2002 John Cusack movie Max if you find this hard to believe.

I tell you these things to point out two facts. One, militarism is popular, and has been popular, in fashion design and mainstream culture off and on since at least WWI. And two, military style is also frequently appropriated by subculture.

Militaristic fashion marched down the runways again in 2010, even including my once-beloved cargo pants. But cheering on the styles at New York Fashion week or wearing a stylized field jacket last fall didn’t necessarily mean you were supporting the continued wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Maybe it did make some people feel patriotic. Or maybe they just wanted to look like Kate Moss.

Back in the day, when Rosie the Riveter was busy building tanks for the boys in the field, wearing drab clothing was a function of patriotism and rationing. These days, one of the reasons both culture and subculture trends embrace military style is that military fashion simply looks good. War might be hell, but apparently, the outfits still look fabulous. There’s even a surprising argument that one of the reasons Hitler was so successful was his artistic (if totally warped)

Subculture, on the other hand, generally adopts militaristic clothing for entirely different reasons from mainstream fashion. While in the real military uniforms enforce hierarchy and conformity, subcultures subvert that meaning into one of nonconformity and individualism. When bikers started wearing iron

crosses and Nazi SS symbols, or when Marilyn Manson wore an SS hat without the emblems, it was above all to shock and rebel. Much like a supposed alignment with Satanism, wearing anything reminiscent of a Nazi uniform can still incite controversy and as a result, quickly give you badass cred. This remains a major part of the Neo-Nazi subculture, the dark racist underbelly of punk. But militaria in subculture is also ironic. Political punks wearing the clothes were giving the finger to the war machine, not supporting it. When punk girls first started combining their combat boots with tutus and sexy ripped fishnets, they were degrading the military, not celebrating it, not to mention feminizing an aggressively masculine style of life and clothing. A more recent subculture, rivetheads, or industrial goths, will mix military aesthetics with modern primitive body mods like tattoos and piercings, black

hair dye, and band shirts. Postapocalyptic styles take a cue from Mad Max, adding more metal, goggles and even gas masks, elements you can just as easily find at a rave or Burning Man as you can at a Combichrist concert, all in the name of creativity, difference, and of course, fun. The popularity of these fashion elements begs the question, is the meaning really there anymore? Or is it all just as much about trends as it is when you see military style on the runway? Is subculture really an ironic comment on fashion, or just a fashion style of its own? The lines can easily become blurred, or disappear altogether. One thing is for certain - militaristic fashions aren’t going to disappear anytime soon. Just something to think about the next time you put on a pair of cargo pants.

SCALING K2: THE SAVAGE MOUNTAIN BY TORMAIGH VAN SLYKE

PHOTO: EXTREMEANDBEYOND.COM

t’s a story that is larger than life. Dr. Andries Botha, 60, was born in South Africa. Following the death of his parents, he became a doctor and moved to Canada, settling in Grimshaw.

A physician in the area for more than 15 years, Botha is a man who has ran 40 marathons, cycled across the country and across North and South America, and now is moving full speed ahead toward becoming the only person ever to climb the world’s 14 highest summits.

Botha recounted the several operations and consultations with plastic surgeons that resulted, citing it was “a nightmare.”

Botha has completed 10 of the most treacherous and ultimate peaks, including the world’s tallest mountain—Mount Everest.

“When I went to Indonesia the first time I couldn’t summit due to political reasons, and then we had to basically go through the forest and it took us five days to walk through the swamps to get to the base camp. On the way back the last night, I contracted a severe infection and we had to run through the night to get me to a plane. When I got to Jakarta, I was in septic shock, and I almost lost my leg,” said Botha.

“On Mount Everest, basically due to dehydration, I developed severe frost bite and lost my big toes and two other toes, half of my one thumb, half of my ear, and part of my other thumb, so in retrospect it took me a year to recover,” Botha told theVAULTmagazine.

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Botha also incurred three more operations in Indonesia, home of the Carstensz Pyramid—another of the highest peaks he has reached.

At this time, Botha’s surgeon urged him not to climb for a

year, but three months later he was training for another summit. To date, Botha has four mountains left to climb for the world record. In May, 2012, he plans to scale Mount Logan in the Yukon. And, in July and August, 2012, Botha will travel to Pakistan/China where he has arranged to climb K2, the second highest mountain in the world. According to Botha, the two will cost approximately $65,000 just for the permits and the guides.

“I really want to try to be the first person on earth to do this,” said Botha. “The biggest and most difficult adventure in my life, so far, will be K2,” explained Botha. “K2 has been summited only twice by a Canadian and one died on his way down. The other Canadian

subsequently died as well, so there are no living people in Canada who climbed K2 at the moment. And I’ll be the oldest Canadian who climbed K2 as well. I was also the oldest Canadian that climbed Everest in 2006.” Depending on the outcome of the K2 expedition, Botha hopes to surmount Russia’s DykhTau in September, 2012, and Antarctica’s Mount Tyree in December, 2012. This would mean Dr. Botha would achieve his goal of 14 mountains before his 61st birthday. However, driven and ambitious as he is, Botha agrees that a more reasonable timeline would be July, 2013. “I really want to try to be the first person on earth to do this,” said Botha.

READER SUBMITTED THREE DAY ROAD by Joseph Boyden route that takes three days. During this trip, Xavier is forced to face his demons and recover from a powerful morphine addiction worsened by the horrors of war that haunt him. His aunt offers him stories of her life throughout his struggle, believing that there is “medicine in the tale.” Xavier’s tale of war is told through flashbacks and memories.

A REVIEW BY CAROLYN GERK

Boyden is a born storyteller, his

hree Day Road, the debut novel from Canadian author Joseph Boyden, is the story of war, sanity and humanity. The reader is forced to question what makes one human and at what point we can no longer maintain grip on our humanity. There is a fine line between control and madness and all of Boyden’s primary characters tiptoe this line at times; slipping into either side (‘with one foot in each world’). Three Day Road follows the life of two Cree friends, Xavier and Elijah, as well as Xavier’s aunt, Niska. The novel begins as Niska meets her nephew as he is delivered by train following his tour of duty in WWI. She aims to return him to his home by means of canoe, a

talent for description and his ability to bring vibrant life to his characters is instantly evident.

Niska is a woman bound by tradition, unwilling to assimilate into the world of the future, she segregates herself from others so as to retain what she believes, not willing to let go of her strong native culture. Xavier is her loyal nephew, a true hunter. A quiet, solemn soul, he has learned all he knows from Niska. He is thrust into the world of war and is left groping for footing in a land of mud, blood and death. Elijah is Xavier’s best friend. A boisterous, vibrant young man, Elijah is violently

competitive, seeking validation in his ability to power over others. He wants deeply to be a part of the modern world of the ‘wemistikoshiw’, the ‘white man’; to prove himself a fighter. I hadn’t previously read any books set during the first world war, but had no trouble finding my footing in this one. Boyden makes the path an easy route to follow (though many of the descriptions of the war can easily get under one’s skin). Boyden is a born storyteller, his talent for description and his ability to bring vibrant life to his characters is instantly evident. The primary theme asks what it is that can turn a person into a human monster, a killer, a ‘windigo’. What pushes us over the edge, what drives us to unspeakable acts, how far can one person be pushed before breaking? Each character struggles with this battle between good and evil and fights to keep hold of themselves amidst a whirlwind of variables. Boyden’s incorporation of native culture is a welcome change from my usual choice of books. I enjoyed learning about Niska’s history and the mythological aspects of her culture that come full circle and pry themselves just as deeply into the lives of her Xavier and Elijah, far away in the world of the ‘wemistikoshiw’ war.

A Soldier’s Eyes By Megan Frizzell

Look at their eyes You know they have seen Things they won’t speak of Though it may seem They are not unheard of They boast their own Take a good look at how Much they have grown Older and older The wisdom they know Is what those eyes Have always shown One look will tell you They have seen Many empires crumble And countries swept clean They may not remember But they have taken A life or two (For sanity’s sake Their minds are breaking) Look at their eyes More now than before You will realize These men knew war.

[BOTHA con’t from page 16] you’re coming from. There are a The sheer physical and mental training and discipline that this degree of mountaineering demands are difficult to fathom, but aside from that, the planning and expenditures are also tremendous. Permits, travel arrangements, guides, Sherpas, training, and upgrades to extensive mountaineering gear are just the beginning. Upon arrival, Botha must deal with elements that are mostly out of his control such as local politics, his safety, and the personal health of him and his guides. So why go through all the trouble? According to Botha, “If you are passionate about anything you can persevere and you can obtain it; it doesn’t matter where

lot of people that have no hope and I think that’s the only thing that you have to have in life is hope and strive to obtain it and don’t take hope away from especially kids. I think it’s important to get the message to kids because at a point in their life, they won’t feel valuable.” A dinner fundraiser, which will include a silent auction and live entertainment, will be held at the Grimshaw Elks Hall this November 26th to help offset the costs of challenging K2 and Mount Logan. A percentage of the proceeds will go towards the Grimshaw Multiplex and Sherpa’s Child Education. For questions regarding event details and/or pledges call Kari Quinney at 780-618-2235. CRACK T H E VAULT

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Need a dose of real advice? Email Max your questions: thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com

HUMOUR

Max's Hardcore Advice Hey Max, I got a problem. Where have you been?!?! You got problems, I got problems, the whole f**king world’s got problems, my friend. You wanna know where I been? Ask your mom (or your sister). Max, Hardcore

he’s tryin’ to f**k her you need to kick him in the balls so hard that he’s gotta piss through his teeth. Max, Hardcore

I’ve got bill collectors calling me day and night. Advice? Pay your bills, you stupid douchebag.

Max, my significant other started going for coffee with their ex. I Max, Hardcore don’t know what to think. Should I be worried? Max, I am trying to lose weight, but I’m having a hard time stickDear insecure a**hole, ing to my diet. Why is it so hard? First of all, this isn’t anything to be worried about. As far as I know, everybody at some point has a coffee with their ex. That being said, if you ever find out that

It’s hard I know, but don’t you think dying young because you’re too much of a fatass to do anything about is gonna

be hard on your kids? Seriously, if you don’t give a f**k about your health then that is your own fault, stop whining and get a f**king carrot. Max, Hardcore

My teenage kids aren’t listening to me. How can I get through to them? Bahahahah, oh s**t, you’re serious. Teenage kids are notorious for not listening to anyone. Try bribery, if that doesn’t work threaten them with a YouTube video of them doin’ some of that retarded kid type of s**t. Max, Hardcore

theVAULTmagazine Staff Picks: War Docs Mark

Operation Dreamland Occupation: Dreamland is one of those war documentaries people can walk away from feeling secure that their opinion of the U.S. invasion of Iraq has been vindicated, no matter what that opinion may be. Filmed without commentary, ‘Dreamland’ follows members of the U.S. Army’s 82nd Airborne as they patrol the streets of Fallujah – a city that, by the end of the fighting, had 70 per cent of the buildings destroyed. The number of civilians killed in the conflict is still disputed. In the movie we watch as U.S. soldiers supported by unmatched military might – armoured personnel carriers gunship helicopters and stateof-the-art weapons – enter the homes of Iraqi civilians. Breaking down their doors in the middle if the night, we see the soldiers become

belligerent when the homeowners demand to know why they have been singled out for this abuse of power. The film manages to express the frustrations of both sides without compromising either’s humanity.

Mary

World War II: Behind Closed Doors Many of the most popular documentaries from World War II almost always seem to focus around the evils of Hitler, but what about the evils of Stalin? Stalin was at least as malicious if not more so than Hitler at times, but frequently he is overshadowed by Hitler and massive cover ups. World War II: Behind Closed Doors is a documentary that largely focuses on the lesser known facts surrounding Stalin and his interaction with the other leaders. In this documentary you will

quickly learn a photo tells a million lies. The most disappointing part that lies within these mistruths is the fact that each side from the allies to the axis is so arrogant and egocentric more lives than necessary were either lost or became a living hell. Delve into the propaganda, the cover ups and lesser known history. Find out what happens behind closed doors.

Chris

Restrepo I’ve watched a lot of war movies and a lot of documentaries but I didn’t know what it’s like to actually be shot at until I watched Restrepo. Filmed over the course of a 15-month deployment in the Korengal Valley in northeastern Afghanistan, Restrepo captures the day-to-day life of a single American platoon fighting the Taliban in what has become the deadliest area of the country in the decadelong war.

The constant fire fights, IED explosions and casualties are all documented as soldiers also try to negotiate with locals to win their hearts and minds. It also shows the attitudes of the soldiers and the stress they experience after during and after returning home from battle. Restrepo can be taken in a number of ways but however you interpret it, it should at the least create a dialogue about the usefulness of this particular war and war in general.

Jenelle

American Drug War: The Last White Hope Concentrating on a different kind of war, Kevin Booth’s controversial 2007 film documents the USA’s plight since Nixon declared a war on drugs in 1971. The film argues that the war on drugs is a “massive deception” and the ”longest and most costly and destructive war in American history.” CRAC K T H E VAULT

The film outlines how the US power structure is inappropriately using the criminal justice system to crack down on the use of illicit drugs. Whereas legal, and arguably more destructive, drugs like nicotine, tobacco, and pharmaceuticals are not only okay, but are gigantic industries— even funding efforts like the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. Other arguments of the film focus on prohibition vs. regulation, the cost to taxpayers ($50 billion/year), the budget for the War on Drugs ($20 billion/year in 2000), the privatized prison industry and, perhaps, most importantly the Iran-Contra Affair, where the US was allegedly bringing cocaine into the country. Despite thought-provoking efforts, I would suggest further research before you repeat anything in the film as hard facts.

theVAULTmagazine

RANTS AND RAVES Did something

That’s it. I’ve had it. One more time and I’m gonna blow up. Every time you ruin my day like this, I feel like kicking kittens and main lining Pop Rocks™.

make your day

I’m talking, of course about this scenario: It’s late, it’s dark, and you’re tired. You should have been to sleep hours ago. You didn’t pay attention in school when they taught you how to type. You’re bent over your keyboard, squinting through the darkness so you can see your clumsy fingers trying to type… wait! This is it! This is the moment! You’ve found your groove! Your typing chi! It’s almost bonerific! Now you’re really typing up a storm!

or piss you off? Submit your rant

Then you look up at the screen, mouth sagging open, drool sliding down your chin, and realize that the past five minutes of frantically typing out the Facebook argument comeback of the century was a waste. You forgot to click the message box. A single tear rolls your cheek, followed by six hundred

or rave to us at thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com

BY DR. DEBBY HERBENICK

Vaginismus is not well understood. For many years, it was thought that vaginismus was caused by uncontrollable muscle spasms that prevented vaginal penetration from occurring. However, research studies have been mixed in their ability to identify any such muscular spasms or pelvic floor activities that may be interfering with penetration.

I have been in a relationship for 4 years and when we try to have intercourse he cannot get in because my vagina tightens up. I have tried relaxation, meditation, etc. I read that some women have this problem. Do you have any suggestions for me. I need help. I heard that some doctors insert Some healthcare providers believe that Botox. Do you think that will other types of genital pain may be at help? the root of vaginismus, perhaps in adSome women, when they try to experience vaginal penetration, find that they feel unable to accept their partner’s penis or fingers into their vagina. This is not always limited to sexual situations. Often, women who find it difficult or impossible to experience sexual penetration of their vagina also find it difficult or impossible to use a tampon or receive a pelvic examination. Often, this condition is described as vaginismus.

dition to fears or anxieties related to vaginal penetration. Some women describe very extreme reactions to even the thought or possibility of vaginal penetration or intercourse. For example, some women have told me that, over time, they have come to feel so anxious about intercourse that if their partner even approaches them for intercourse, they feel nauseous, vomit, or experience a panic attack. Women

20 theVAULTmagazine

who

experience

N O VE M B E R 11, 20 11

such

RANT RAVE

more. You scream. You curse every deity you can puke out of your flustered speaking hole. You punch your computer. Light it on fire. Run over it. Take a baseball bat you your monitor, etc. Nothing but time will actually make you feel better.

I just thought I would let you all know that this newspaper/magazine is a super killer idea.

Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t actually know anything about anything, I’m just really bored. And kinda tired. Probably the lack of lighting that’s putting me to sleep. Maybe I should look up at the monitor to make sure I’m actually typing something out.

What about our responsibilities to ourselves? I’m not talking about bills and personal hygiene. We all owe ourselves the chance to let go of inhibitions, open our hearts and minds, and begin accepting our own creative ideas and thoughts.

Thank god. (PS. This is supposed to be 300 words, so here’s the rest of them. Boob. Cockles. Leper. Tinkle. Pots and pans. Fifty five drunken naked sailors. Fart. Diaper. Tree fort. Bagel. An everything bagel with Herb and Garlic Cream Cheese and an extra-large Triple Triple. Take that, society!) DYLAN L.

difficulties sometimes find it helpful to use vaginal dilators by themselves as a means of teaching their vagina to accept penetration. Vaginal dilators typically come in sets of 4 to 6. They look kind of like dildos, but they are more often used for treatment of various health conditions. Women are often advised to start with the smallest one, which is about the size of one’s little finger, and over a period of weeks or months work up to using larger sizes. Sex therapy is also often very helpful for women with vaginismus as well as their partners – you can find one in your area through the web site of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research which is sstarnet.org. You also asked about Botox, which in recent years has been used by some healthcare providers with success. If you are interested in learning more about this treatment, I would recommend connecting with a healthcare provider who has experience treating women with vaginismus in this way. Finally, there are other possible

Too often, I believe, people get caught up in their responsibilities and what society dictates as normal and acceptable.

So what if you work in the oil field? Who is to say you cannot write a line of poetry on that Tim Horton’s napkin stashed on the dash of your pickup? If it feels right, do it. But most importantly, let yourself take up the opportunity to FEEL SOMETHING. theVAULTmagazine is here to present you with that opportunity, so let it in - and then - let it out. MEGAN F.

reasons for difficulty with penetration. I would recommend checking in with a gynecologists to make sure that there are no other medical conditions or anatomical reasons that may be preventing intercourse. If you feel anxious or worried about having a gynecological exam, let your healthcare provider know so that he or she can be attentive to your concerns. Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, The I Love You More Book, and Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva. Find our blog, sex information and archived Q&A at www.KinseyConfidential.org. KINSEY CONFIDENTIAL IS A SERVICE OF THE KINSEY INSTITUTE. FOR MORE GOOD SEX INFORMATION, PODCASTS, OR TO SUBMIT A QUESTION, VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.KINSEYCONFIDENTIAL.ORG.”

Free Will Astrology

HOMEWORK:

If you knew you were going to live

to 100, what would you do differently in the next

FOR THE WEEK OF NOV. 10 TO NOV. 16

five years? Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The title of this week’s movie LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I was musing on how slow I am in your image, do it with as much humility and is “Uproar of Love,” starring the Fantasy Kid and The Most Feeling Machine In The World. It blends romance and science fiction, with overtones of espionage and undertones of revolution for the hell of it. Comic touches will slip in at unexpected moments. When you’re not up to your jowls in archetypes, you might be able to muster the clarity to gorge yourself on the earthly delights that are spread from here to the edge of the abyss.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): How’s your relationship with

your muse? Don’t tell me that you’re not an artist so you don’t have a muse. Even garbage collectors need muses. Even farmers. Even politicians. All of us need to be in touch with a mysterious, tantalizing source of inspiration that teases our sense of wonder and goads us on to life’s next adventures. So I ask you again: What have you and your muse been up to lately? I say it’s high time for you to infuse your connection with a dose of raw mojo. And if for some sad reason you don’t have a muse, I urge you to go out in quest of new candidates. (P.S. A muse isn’t necessarily a person; he or she might also be an animal, an ancestor, a spirit, or a hero.)

to learn the lessons I need to master -- how hard it can be to see the obvious secrets that are right in front of me. But I felt better after I came across the logo for the Jung Institute in San Francisco, which is dedicated to the study of psychology and psychotherapy. The symbol that it has chosen to embody its ruling spirit consists of four snails creeping their way around a center point -- a witty acknowledgment of the plodding nature of the human psyche. I bring this to your attention, Leo, because it’s important for you to give yourself credit for how much you’ve grown since the old days -- even if your progress seems intolerably gradual.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It will be a good week to have

nice long talks with yourself -- the more, the better. The different sub-personalities that dwell within you need to engage in vigorous dialogues that will get all their various viewpoints out in the open. I even recommend coaxing some of those inner voices to manifest themselves outside the confines of your own head -- you know, by speaking out loud. If you feel inhibited about giving them full expression where they might be overheard by people, find a private place that will allow them to feel free to be themselves.

compassion as you can muster.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In Mongolia there’s a

famous fossil of two dinosaurs locked in mortal combat. Forever frozen in time, a Velociraptor is clawing a Protoceratops, which in turn is biting its enemy’s arm. They’ve been holding that pose now for, oh, 80 million years or so. I’m shoving this image in your face, Sagittarius, so as to dare you and encourage you to withdraw from your old feuds and disputes. It’s a perfect time, astrologically speaking, to give up any struggle that’s not going to matter 80 million years from now. (More info: tinyurl.com/DinosaurFight.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “In your experience, who

is the best-smelling actor that you’ve worked with?” TV host Jon Stewart asked his guest Tom Hanks. “Kevin Bacon,” replied Hanks. Why? Not because of the bacon-as-a-delicious-food angle, although that would be funny. “He smells like a mix of baby powder and Listerine,” Hanks said. Keep this perspective in mind, Capricorn. I think you should be engaged in a great ongoing quest to put yourself in GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Funky pagan scientists at Zen situations with pleasing aromas. I mean this in both State University have found that the regular consumption of Free Will Astrology can be effective in smoothing LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): During the reign of President the metaphorical and literal sense. To set yourself up unsightly wrinkles on your attitude, scouring away stains George W. Bush, many Americans viewed France as for meaningful experiences that provide you with on your courage, and disposing of old garbage stuck to being insufficiently sympathetic with American mili- exactly what you need, follow your nose. your karma. They’ve also gathered testimony from people who claim to have experienced spontaneous healings of nagging ailments and chronic suffering while under the influence of these oracles. If I were you, I’d try to take advantage of such benefits right now. You could really use some healing. Luckily, it looks like there’ll be an array of other curative options available to you as well. Be aggressive about seeking them out.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Given the lush and exotic astro-

logical factors now coming to bear on your destiny, and due to the possibility that something resembling actual magic may soon make an appearance, I am taking a leap of faith with this week’s horoscope. Are you game? There is a hypothetical scene described by the English poet Samuel Coleridge (1772-1834) that would normally be too outlandish to take seriously, but I suspect it’s a possible match for your upcoming adventures. “What if you slept,” he wrote, “and what if in your sleep you dreamed, and what if in your dream you went to heaven and there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower, and what if when you awoke you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then?”

tary might. So enraged were some conservatives that they tried to change the name of French fries to freedom fries and French toast to freedom toast. The culminating moment in this surrealistic exercise came when Bush told UK’s Prime Minister Tony Blair, “The French don’t even have a word for entrepreneur” -- unaware that “entrepreneur” is a word the English language borrowed from the French. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned, Libra: Make sure you know the origins of everyone and everything you engage with, especially as they affect your ability to benefit from entrepreneurial influences.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): According to my reading of

the omens, Aquarius, you can finally take advantage of a long-standing invitation or opportunity that you have always felt unworthy of or unready for. Congratulations on being so doggedly persistent about ripening the immature parts of yourself. Now here’s an extra bonus: This breakthrough may in turn lead to you finding a lost piece to the puzzle of your identity.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My acquaintance Bob takes

a variety of meds for his bipolar disorder. They work pretty well to keep him out of the troughs, but he SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Cunnilinguistic misses the peaks. Last time he saw his psychiatrist he Dicktionary defines the newly coined word “mu- told her he wished he could stop taking the complitinyversal” as “rebellion against the whole universe.” cated brew of drugs and just take a happy pill every I think it would be an excellent time for you to day. The psychiatrist told him that if he ever found engage in a playful, vivacious version of that ap- such a thing, she’d love to take it herself. Wouldn’t proach to life. This is one of those rare times when we all? I’m pleased to report that you are now very you have so many unique gifts to offer and so many close to locating the next best thing to a happy pill, invigorating insights to unleash, that you really Pisces. It may require you to at least partially give should act as if you are mostly right and everyone up your addiction to one of your customary forms else is at least half-wrong. Just one caution: As you of suffering, though. Are you prepared to do that? embark on your crusade to make the world over

CRACK T H E VAULT

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Jonesin’ Crossword

Rum Runners Liquor Store

Matt Jones (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

“Cornering the Market”--it’s a fringe benefit.

Beer of the Month Club

SUDOKU

1 See 1-down 7 ___global.net 10 With 13-down, it’s placed in the upper right corner of an envelope 14 Further from A-quality work 15 Sine ___ non 16 Elbow-wrist connection 17 Weather phenomenon with a Spanish name 18 Cartoon superhero dressed in red, white and blue 20 Yale grads 21 ___ Bator, Mongolia 23 Academy newbie 24 Camcorder button 25 Distinct groups of species populations 27 Uneasy (with tension) 29 “What did I tell you?” 30 Denali or Whitney, e.g. 33 Concept embodying yin and yang 34 Camping bottle 36 Kidded around 39 Alexander who claimed he was “in charge” after Reagan was shot 40 Arctic reindeer herder 41 Prefix like “ultra” 42 It may be consolidated 43 In a fog 44 Woman-hating 46 ___ artist (swindler) 47 Winter hrs. in San Francisco 48 Color to stop on 49 Tranquilizer shooter 53 Place for chalk drawings 55 Inseparable 56 Abou Ben ___ (James Henry Leigh Hunt poem subject) 59 “___ Tuesday” 60 Nimrod 61 Aviation almost-accident 63 Chinese gambling game with dominoes 65 Fail to include 66 Icelandic band Sigur ___ 67 Gas station name 68 With 56-down, state that makes up the lower left corner of the Four Corners Monument 69 Some amount 70 See 52-down

Down

1 With 1-across, space that oc-

cupies the upper left corner of a Monopoly board 2 ___ derby 3 Japanese camera company until 2003 4 Where eye color comes from 5 Former Giants pitcher Robb 6 Marx who novelty glasses are modeled on 7 Zilch 8 Costume seen around Easter 9 Knave 10 Knitting stitches 11 Ye ___ Gift Shoppe 12 Holier-than-thou type 13 See 10-across 19 Fencing swords 22 Auction section 25 Posh word of surprise 26 Simon of “Shaun of the Dead” 28 “In ___” (Nirvana album) 30 “The Beauty in Ugly” singer Jason 31 CD predecessor 32 Dennis Franz’s former TV employer 34 Who nobody puts in the corner, according to a line from “Dirty Dancing” 35 Actor hiding in the audience, perhaps 36 Hit for The Pointer Sisters, Van Halen or Kris Kross 37 Wading bird sacred to Egyptians 38 Sleeveless garment 39 Florence who played Carol Brady 42 Turned blue, maybe 43 Uncool dude 45 Big name in fairy tales 46 Caribbean music 49 Do some fingerpainting 50 1 followed by 100 zeroes 51 Get the right combination to 52 With 70-across, it’s often seen in the bottom right corner of a TV screen 53 Sealy competitor 54 Not at all manly 56 See 68-across 57 Ashton’s wife 58 Brushed stuff 60 Fred’s pet 62 401(k) alternative 64 Mo. with no major holidays ©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords

22 theVAULTmagazine

N O VE M B E R 11, 20 11

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PUZZLES &

BY JASON HEWITT

Obscure Wizardry

theVAULT magazine comes out every second Friday. Issue #5 hits newsstands Nov. 25th. CRACK T H E VAULT

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