theVAULTmagazine ~ Issue 6

theVAULTmagazine Issue #6 - December 9, 2011

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THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE

CULTUREVILLE >> CHRISTMAS KRAMPUS >> NEW YEAR’S EVE IN BERWYN

14 14 20 20

december

7:30pm - Harmon Valley Hall Harmon Valley Agriculture Society AGM

6:00pm - The Nampa Golden Pioneers Christmas Turkey Dinner Adults $10, Youth $4, and 6 & under free.

Monday to Friday 11AM - 2 PM

$9.99 French Fry Special comes with Caesar Salad & 6 oz. New York Steak

4pm-8pm - NSC Council Chamber NSC Christmas Open House 7:00pm Nampa School Gymnasium The Nampa Public School is hosting their Christmas Concert

WWW.NORTHERNSUNRISE.NET 780.624.0013

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...seriously!

9703 100 Street | Main Street Peace River

theVAULTmagazine

Issue #6 - December 9, 2011

SECTIONS

Please Recycle Me.

04 Inside the Vault Editor/Publisher

Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

Social Media/Reception Mary Warren

Logo Design Michael Boone

Layout Design

Jenelle Lizotte Christine Taylor Tormaigh Van Slyke Chris Zwick

Distributor

Michael Russell DVS

Website Design

Sush Wong & Doug Hurst, Wild Card Technology Solutions

Ad Design

Clayton Hall Aimie Williams Sush Wong

Ad Sales

Tormaigh Van Slyke

Photography

Dylan Laliberte Jenelle Lizotte Tormaigh Van Slyke

Contributors

Dylan Laliberte Mark Rieder Susan Thompson Mary Warren Chris Zwick Cover Photography by Mark Rieder

theVAULTmagazine is available free of charge at over 75 locations in the greater Peace Region every other Friday. We are funded solely through the support of our advertisers. theVAULTmagazine is published biweekly by Plato’s Cave Publishing. No content herein can be reproduced without written consent of the publisher. We accept contributions provided they are the property of the contributor and are offered exclusively to theVAULTmagazine. The publisher assumes no responsibility for the return or safety of contributed materials and therefore will not be held responsible.

All opinions or statements expressed do not necessarily represent those of the publisher or staff. The reader must understand that all information presented in this publication is from various sources, therefore theVAULTmagazine cannot be held responsible for any accuracy, completeness or legalities.

We ask that each reader take only one copy, unless your grabbing one for your friend. That is all.

07 Arts 08 Community Calendar 12 Entertainment 14 Lifestyle 16 Culture 18 Astrology 19 Humour 20 Reader Submitted 21 Sex Column 22 Puzzles & Comics

FEATURE 10 Evolution of Christmas LIKE US ON FACEBOOK: THEVAULTMAGAZINE (PEACE REGION) FOLLOW US ON TWITTER: @THEVAULTMAG

From the Editors Hello again faithful reader, The holidays are fast approaching and we’ve got a bunch of goodies for you in Issue 6.

From exploring the different origins of the season’s traditions to celebrating the different events in this gorgeous landscape of ours— we’ve got you covered.

We will be taking a break after this issue to relax, recharge and evaluate our strengths and weaknesses so we can give you the best publication we can in the new year (we’d love your feedback: theVAULTmagazine@hotmail. com).

If you’re feeling lonely without us, don’t forget to check out our blog (www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com) and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Celebrate your friends and loved ones and hold them close. We will celebrate your support and strive to be exactly what this region needs.

Until next year friends, your editors,

Jenelle & Tormaigh

10506 101 ST. PEACE RIVER, AB. T8S-1L1 WWW.THEVAULTMAG.COM THEVAULTMAGAZINE@HOTMAIL.COM WWW.THEVAULTMAGAZINE.TUMBLR.COM CRAC K T H E VAULT

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INSIDE THE VAULT NEWS SNIPPETS NO THANKS KYOTO Staying true its previous position, Canada’s Conservative-led government, will not renew its commitment to the Kyoto Protocol, the international climate change agreement to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, first agreed to in 1997. Canadian representatives have stood firm, saying they will not follow an agreement that does not include large developing countries such as China and India.

China has previously stated it will not follow an agreement that does not consider its growing industrial base, since other countries did not have such regulations when they developed their industry over the last century, but did show willingness to make concessions on its position during the a U.N. climate change conference in South Africa last week.

Canadian Environment Minister Peter Kent also said at the same conference that the yet-to-be-released Chinese concessions would still not prevent Canada’s withdrawal from the agreement.

To this point, American terror suspects have been investigated, apprehended, charged and prosecuted under criminal laws, but the bill will see much of that responsibility transferred to the military.

OBAMA TO VETO DEFENSE BILL?

ELECTRIC CAR KILLED AGAIN?

The U.S. Senate passed a bill last week that will allow indefinite detention of domestic terror suspects by the military without charge or prosecution.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration in the U.S. opened a formal investigation into Chevrolet’s new electric car, the Volt, last week, after two different batteries are suspected to have burst into flames after crashtesting – this as the plug-in hybrid vehicle also became highest owner-rated vehicle in Consumer Reports’ latest satisfaction survey.

The National Defense Authorization Act is a bill that is amended every year to authorize spending for the U.S. military and often includes other provisions related to the process of fighting terrorism.

This year, the $662 billion bill passed through the Senate with a 93-7 vote. The bill must now go through the U.S. House of Representatives before coming to President Barack Obama -- he has threatened to veto the legislation if the detainee provisions are not changed.

The car runs on rechargeable lithium-ion batteries for 56 km before the gas engine takes over and the prestigious auto industry survey found 93 per cent of Volt owners would buy the vehicle again, a higher percentage than both the Dodge Challenger and Porsche 911.

Industry experts say the fires and subsequent investigation will likely be a major blow to the electric car market around the world. In the meantime, GM is offering to buy the $41,000 cars back from anyone is concerned about the fire risk.

PEACE REGION BIODIESEL PLANT A U.S. bio-energy company announced plans last month to construct a $30 million biodiesel plant in the High Prairie area.

Detroit-based The Power Alternative Inc. says the plant will produce 66 million litres of biodiesel per year, initially using off-grade canola, offering Peace Country producers a local outlet to sell crop they can’t sell elsewhere. In the future, the plant will also process non-food mustard seed to produce the fuel.

Alberta was targeted as a potential location for the development because of its high production and lack of facilities to process off-grade

material, according to company president, Jim Padilla.

The plant is one of two the company says it will build in Alberta; the other is in Smoky Lake County in northeastern Alberta. Both are expected to be operational by early 2013.

EARTH 2 SEARCH FRUITFUL NASA scientists confirmed last week the discovery of a habitable, Earth-like planet 200 light years away, by the orbiting Kepler Space Telescope.

Kepler-22b is twice the size of Earth and is one of 1,000 possible planets discovered by the satellite telescope which were announced by project leaders in February.

Fifty-four of those planets were found within the habitable orbits of their stars -- areas that can support liquid water and potentially life similar to that found on Earth.

ADVERTISING OVER THE HOLIDAY SEASON

BY MARK RIEDER

S

ince the 1970s Christmas has become increasingly commercialized. Much of the trend can be put squarely on marketers.

Marketers, not the people who call you up asking you to buy something but the Madison Avenue kind, spend an estimated $175 billion dollars on advertising— the same amount as the gross national product of Indonesia, a country of 234 million people.

The Peace River area’s three larger advertising venues – Sun Media, Peace River Broadcasting and The Mackenzie Report – account for a very small piece of the pie. And in the Peace, businesses traditionally spend much less per capita

than regions of similar size.

City Music Book World owner Chris Blake says she does some traditional advertising in local papers and on the radio but feels no pressure to do the same type of marketing strategies of large businesses.

“We’ve found that word of mouth is still hot,” she says.

Despite a small advertising budget and heavy competition, Blake says sales are rising after about three years of recession and the introduction of Walmart to the area. Internationally, Walmart spends $570 million annually on marketing. In 2010 that translated into $405 billion in total sales.

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How did marketing become so powerful? Modern-day marketing was basically defined by advertising scholar Robert Bartels. His 1976 book “The History of Marketing Thought” is considered the turning point in the trade. His books and teachings enabled marketers to look at their profession as a science. Those principals were pioneered as far back as the 1950s. Some advertising agencies were hiring trained “motivational researchers” to probe deep in the psychological recesses of the mind, and then constructing ad campaigns that exploited their findings.

In 1902, psychologist and professor Walter Dill Scott introduced the study of psychology as an important element in advertising in his book “The Psychology of Advertising in Theory and Practice”. As part of his work he questioned consumers about their reactions to various advertisements — the beginning of market research.

In Printers Ink, an advertising magazine, Scott stated “The successful advertiser, either personally or through his advertising department, must carefully study psychology.

He must understand how the human mind acts. He must But even earlier than that, know what repels and what there were some basic forays attracts. He must know what into how psychology would will create an interest and benefit advertising. what will fall flat. He must be a student of human nature

and he must know the laws of the human mind.”

In his 1990 book, “Advertising and the Transformation of American Society”, James Norris wrote “Time and time again, advertising has proven powerless to instigate, to sustain or to reverse trends in public opinion or fashions of consumption.”

What he and other apologists overlook is that marketing’s main intention is not to promote any one product or even a group of products.

Marketers sell a way of life, a life of unending and unlimited consumerism.

To comment on this and other articles go to www.thevaultmag.com

INSIDE THE VAULT EDITORIAL

PEACEFUL PROTESTERS PEPPER SPRAYED:

A GROSS ABUSE OF POWER At first the Chancellor of the University - the one who approved the university’s campus policing policies and ordered the Occupy protest at UC Davis cleared - says that Pike was afraid for his life.

An odd excuse to make, considering how so obviously unafraid he is in the video.

The whole thing that makes it so chilling is how calm he is.

Cold even. Sadistic.

BY SUSAN THOMPSON

A

row of students sit quietly, arms interlocked, saying nothing, doing nothing. They aren’t being aggressive, or approaching the riot cops in front of them, or yelling, or even chanting. They’re just sitting there, silent. In protest.

A police officer walks up and calmly begins spraying them at point-blank range in the face with orange militarygrade pepper spray. Onlookers

gasp and cry out “Why?” They beg the officer to stop.

The expression on the cop’s pudgy, mustachioed face, at least from what can be seen beneath his Space Balls riot helmet, remains oblivious, dispassionate, almost bored, as if he was just spraying a pesky bug infestation.

But they’re not bugs. They’re also not terrorists. They’re not criminals. They’re not enemy combatants.

They’re just university students. And they’re just

sitting there.

They don’t cry out and don’t move, even as the spray, which is actually meant to be used from yards away not inches, burns their eyes and throats and keeps burning.

Onlookers record every minute on their phones and devices, snapping still pictures.

Word spreads through social networks like Facebook and the YouTube vid passes from hand to hand, raising outrage wherever it goes.

The students were being forced out by police because they were part of the Occupy movement, which has faced concerted and often coordinated efforts to force protestors out of their tent cities and dismantle their occupations. The UC Davis students were actually on public property, at the university where they pay tuition, during the school’s open hours. They were assembling peacefully. By every legal measure, the students were simply exercising their rights to free speech and peaceful assembly, some of the most fundamental rights and freedoms we have as citizens.

It’s one thing, however, to have words written on paper

saying we have those rights.

It’s another thing when a movement begins to truly question the powers that be, in particular, how exactly the powers that be keep filling their own pockets with ludicrous wealth while the other 99% struggles to find jobs and pay for healthcare and deal with crushing debt and feed their families.

But now that the image of campus cop Lt. John Pike using brutally excessive force has circled the globe, the question has been raised. Are those essential rights and freedoms still there if something like this can happen? Or did we bargain them away for our own supposed safety in the panic after 9/11?

Pike has been suspended, but Occupy protests continue to face police action.

Is it true? Has the US (and Canada) really gone so far down the path towards a police state?

More importantly, will we all just sit by and let that happen?

To comment on this and other articles go to www.thevaultmag.com

Don’t be stupid.

• Don’t Drink & Drive!

CRAC K T H E VAULT

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IN THE VAULT The Arbitrary Reality of New Year’s Day

BY CHRIS ZWICK

I

f time is relative, then New Year’s is a relative holiday, and so are all holidays and all days for that matter, but New Year’s is a particular case because it is more subjective than any other holiday – it falls depending on what calendar you follow.

There may be a general consensus that January 1 is the first day of days, but does that really matter? Most holidays honour someone or some event, but on New Year’s Day, we celebrate our place in space. There is a deep history to the celebration of the day we’ve come to set aside for reflection on the past while looking forward, and as with many of the holidays we celebrate in modern times, we owe the original celebration of the New Year to the pagans.

Just another pagan festival

We followed the sun and stars for thousands of years, very slowly developing a sense of time. We learned of seasons and that the sun would rise at a certain point in the sky every 365 days.

At the time of the Romans, many celebrated the coming year with drunken orgies to embrace the chaos that existed before the gods brought order to the world. It was Julius Caesar who established the Julian calendar in 46 BC and officially instituted Jan. 1 as the first day of the year.

January was named after the god of doors and gates, Janus, whose two faces looked both backwards and forwards. But even with the popularity of the Julian calendar in the following centuries, Christians did not see Jan. 1 as the New Year, instead opting for March 25 -- Annunciation Day -- the day they commemorate the angel Gabriel’s visit to Mary to tell her of her immaculate

conception.

In 1066, the King of England William the Conqueror tried to institute Jan. 1 as New Year’s Day, but it was mostly a publicity stunt -- to have his coronation fall on Dec. 25, Christ’s birthday, with the New Year celebrated during the Christian Feast of the Circumcision, eight days later. William’s change did not last though, and the Christian world continued to recognize March 25 as the first day of the year for 500 more years.

The time-travelling Pope Jan. 1 had only been recognized as the first day of the year by some, but Pope Gregory XIII made it official when he decreed the Julian calendar be reformed in 1582. Jan. 1 became the day -- the Feast of the Circumcision, celebrated in the church as the first time Christ’s blood fell to

the earth, thereby harkening in man’s redemption – rebirth – a new life.

The Gregorian calendar we use today, named after the 16th century Pope, is now the internationally recognized standard having become so because it turns out someone miscalculated how long a year actually was.

Between 325 AD, when it was decided the first day of spring would be March 21 and the time of Gregory XIII, the equinox had actually moved back in the calendar by two full weeks.

The sun was not where it was supposed to be. When Gregory first implemented his calendar, he travelled forward in time in a sense, skipping 14 calendar days to restore the equinox back to March 21.

A Julian calendar year is about 11 minutes shorter then the Pope’s reformed calendar year,

resulting in three extra days every 400 years. We now compensate for this with 97 leap years instead of 100 every 400 years, as the Julian calendar did.

Will the real New Year’s Day please stand up?

Even with the Pope’s declaration, there were many factions that continued to observe the Julian calendar. Many still do. Eastern Orthodox sects still celebrate on Jan. 14; China, Pakistan, Iran, Bulgaria, Greece and Turkey all celebrate there own day as the New Year, among others, some are religious observances and others are secular, as it has always been. In this age, we still tend to gather, with strangers or friends.

We are gods in our own right, looking both backwards and forwards in time.

To comment on this and other articles go to www.thevaultmag.com

GRIMSHAW | 780 . 332 . 2132 w w w. c a n t e c h e l e c t r i c . c o m

DONAIR Donair Subs Salads Side Orders 780 . 624 . 8500

9921 - 101 Avenue

I KNOW THIS KID WHO NEEDS ANOTHER CHANCE. DINE IN | TAKE OUT

CAN YOU HELP? The North Peace Youth Justice Committee is looking for members from the Peace River area.

This is a volunteer position.

A criminal record check, a child intervention record check and an oath of confidentiality are required. Must be non-judgemental.

For more information contact Kathy Lambert at 780-618-8121

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ARTS Cultureville 2011: Celebrate the spicy Latin Community

BY MARY WARREN

A

s Canadians, we are very culturally receptive.

Unfortunately, in the North it’s difficult to take part in many cultural celebrations.

Some events and organizations are member exclusive and several cultural functions go unnoticed and underappreciated. This is damaging to the various cultural communities in the Peace Region. We need a better way to unite and celebrate the traditions and customs our culturally diverse community has to offer.

Originally from Lima, Peru, Sarah Shudra now resides in the region and works for the Town of Peace River. She has a degree in business and worked as a human rights activist for over 6 years. You may have met her

teaching a dance fitness class called Zumba. Shudra’s dance class has offered the region a welcome dose of Latin spice.

In a recent interview with theVAULTmagazine, Shrudra explained that by teaching Zumba she is able to preserve her culture.

his cooking and frequently gathers his Mexican coworkers and friends to enjoy an authentic meal. Traditional Mexican food has proved to be very popular here in Peace River. The anxiously awaited re-opening of Su Casa Cafe is a testament to that.

When asked, Shudra and Parra “Through artistic expression both agreed more culturally you can keep your culture alive, open events would attract more and dance for me is the way to visitors and new residents.

“Many people want to know express it,” said Shudra. about Peace River, and it would be the best opportunity In addition to teaching others, to show everyone why we are Shudra hopes her classes will Cultureville 2011—not only become a place where the for the beauty of the landscape Latinos of the area can come or the place but also by the together, feel comfortable, and diversity of culture, people, and have a little piece of home. customs,” said Shudra.

Erick Parra, of Sinaloa, Mexico, has also moved to the area.

Parra has brought a little piece of Mexico to Canada with

In complete agreement with Shudra, Parra added, “Communities that feel

forgotten or excluded could take part, and they won’t mind travelling. It could turn into a tourist attraction that would bring money to the town and make Peace River a more desirable place to live in.”

Statistics back up Shudra and Parra’s assertions. According to Industry Canada, in 2008 Canadian tourists accounted for 79 per cent ($59.1 billion) of total tourism spending in Canada.

“I think we should organize a Heritage Festival as there are in cities like Edmonton and Calgary, considering we are Cultureville 2011. Five years ago, there were not many Latinos living in this part of northern Alberta. Today is different. Each year we continue to grow, and I am not

only talking about the Latino community but all the other [ethnic] communities we have today,” said Shudra.

A local cultural festival in Peace River would showcase our diverse culture, and it could even begin to attract people from across the region like Peace Fest and the Grimshaw Rodeo do.

A festival would help promote tolerance by sharing cultural traditions with our neighbours.

When it comes down to it, we all do something different.

Let’s embrace it and live life to its fullest. We are Cultureville.

Let’s own up to it.

To comment on this and other articles go to www.thevaultmag.com

ARTIST DIRECTORY BUZZ LORENZEN

VERNON LEDGER

ARIANA HAMMERBERG

Musician (Deeply melodic and even more deeply insane. The antidote to the emptiness of existence.) drbuzzmd@yahoo.com

Musician (Guitar, Bass, Piano, Vocals. Band: A New Direction. Teaches Song Writing, Jams, Available for events.)

780-624-2693 nervedge1984@live.com

Oil, Acrylic, & Watercolour (Landscapes,abstract,mixed media) 780-625-1794 ahammerberg@yahoo.com FB: Paintings by Ariana

SUSAN THOMPSON

Photographer (Owns House of E Photographic Imagery. Book a session.

Tell your story. Promises a unique and exciting experience. Portraits & Prints.) marieeldstrom@gmail.com houseofphotographicartistry. blogspot.com

CAROLYN GERK Pencil, Acrylic, & Watercolor (Portraits, landscapes, still life, children’s decor, murals, personalized items, decorative art and gifts. Requests welcome) 780-625-1215 carolyn.2345@hotmail.com FB: Creative Design by Carolyn

Dancer (Belly dance, fire dance, fire fans, palm torches, LED fans, choreographed or freestyle, go-go dancing) vantom@xplornet.com FB: Sisu Belly Dancer

MARIE ELDSTROM

ALECIA VOGEL

LEAH WOOD

Singer/Songwriter (Gravitates more towards the pop/folk side of things.

Also in the midst of releasing a demo and loving every moment of it.) aleciahh@gmail.com 780-625-7329

Photographer (Do you want unique photos?

Order your session today!)

780-618-8204 leahwoodphotography.com leahwoodphotography.com/ blog

MARY WARREN Graphite & Ink (Realistic to animated, I enjoy working with nearly all mediums and art forms. I also dabble in clothing design.) sickyslimys@hotmail.com CRAC K T H E VAULT

Are

you an artist or musician who would like to be featured in theVAULTmagazine’s Artist Directory?

Email

us your info at

thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com

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Community Calendar Email us at theVAULTmagazine@hotmail.com to add your event to the calendar All information presented in this calendar is gathered from a variety of sources. theVAULTmagazine assumes no responsibility for any misrepresented information. We mean well. Any corrections or compliments can be directed to thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com

STORYTIME (Family) - PR Municipal Library 10:30am - Every Friday. Up to age 5. Story and Craft. Parent or Caregiver participation required.

Breakfast (9-11am), Horse Drawn Sleigh Rides (11:30am, Weather Permitting), Hot Dogs, Hot Chocolate & Crafts Gingerbread in the Old Hall (Noon), House Judging (1pm), X - Mas Hamper Draw (1:30pm). For more info call Deb or Tracy at 780-332-1583 or 780-332-4788.

CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE (Community) - PR Municipal Library 3-7pm - Meet & Greet with the Mayor and Council. Check out the newly renovated library. Get your chance to comment on land-use bylaw #17-31. For more info call 780-624-2574

CANADIAN COUNTRY CHRISTMAS TOUR: DENIM & DIAMONDS DINNER & DANCE (Christmas) - Belle Petroleum Centre - Wine and Cheese 6:30pm, Elegant Dinner Buffet 7pm. No Limitz Acoustic Set, Dance, Auction, Cash Bar. Tickets $75 available at the Belle Centre 780-624-8318.

FRI, DEC 9

MANNING CHRISTMAS FARMER’S MARKET (Community) - Battle River Ag. Hall 11 - 7pm.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

DROP IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) - GPRC Community Rec Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership, FREE with a gym membership. Every Friday.

THE CHRISTMAS EXPRESS (Theatre) - Fred Sprecken Theatre (GPRC) - Presented by the College Town Capers. For more info call June at 780-835-5388.

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

SAT, DEC 10 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Grace United Church. 8pm - Every Saturday. For more info call 780-624-4710.

COMMUNITY SERVICE OF REMEMBRANCE (Community)- Athabasca Hall 2pm.

ANNUAL TURKEY BINGO (Community) Brownvale Rec Centre 1pm.

FARMER’S MARKET (Community) - Senior Citizen’s Centre 10-1pm - For info or to register call Yvonne 780-624-3725 or Gloria 780-624-8714.

THE CHRISTMAS EXPRESS (Theatre) - Fred Sprecken Theatre (GPRC) - Presented by the College Town Capers. For more info call June at 780-835-5388.

SUN, DEC 11 ZEN MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Fine Arts Centre 10am - For more info call Eileen at 780-494-3410.

YOGA (Fitness) - Senior Citizen’s Drop In Centre 4pm - From Oct. 2 - Dec. 18. BYO Yoga Mat and Blanket. Beginner and Intermediate. Gentle Flow. Drop in $10. For more info call Lynn at 780-624-4249.

THE CHRISTMAS EXPRESS (Theatre) - Fred Sprecken Theatre (GPRC) - Presented by the College Town Capers. For more info call June at 780-835-5388.

FREE SKATE (Family) - Kinsmen Arena 5-6:30pm - Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services.

DINNER THEATRE REHEARSALS “THIS OLD MAN” (Theatre) - Elk’s Hall 7pm - Every Tues, Thurs, and Sun until Jan 27. Performances in late Jan, early Feb.

MON, DEC 12 FREE SWIM (Family) - Peace River Pool 6:308:30pm - Sponsored by the AUPE.

CHRISTMAS PARTY (Christmas) - Grimshaw Legion - Cocktails 5:30pm, Dinner 6:30pm. For tickets ($20) call Betty 780-332-4456 (day) 780-332-4466 (evening) or leave a message at the Legion 780-332-4785.

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

SANTA AT THE MALL (Christmas) - Riverdrive Mall 1-4pm. Photos by Foto Source.

PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Municipal Library 10-11:30pm - For more info call 780-322-3954.

OLD FASHION FAMILY CHRISTMAS (Community) - Lac Cardinal Pioneer Village Museum - Pancake

WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library 7:30pm - Every Mon. For more info call Gordon at

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D E CE M B E R 9, 20 11

780-332-1732.

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Rec Centre 5:30-7pm - Every Mon. $6 with gym membership, FREE with membership.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All pre-school children welcome.

TUES, DEC 13 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church (upstairs) 7:30pm - For more information call Sharon at 780-624-8778.

reading skills). Every Wed. For more info call 780-624-4076.

CHRISTMAS BAND CONCERT (Music) - Douglas J Cardinal Theatre (GPRC) 7:30pm - w/GPRC Wind Ensemble, GP Composite HS Concert Band & Jazz Band, “Hot Ayre” Quintet and Massed Band. Proceeds go to the Salvation Army.

TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) - Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443 PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 1:30-3pm - Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-322-3954.

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed.

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 1 - 2pm. Every Wed. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

THURS, DEC 15 MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

SENIOR”S CHRISTMAS SUPPER (Community) Manning Legion Hall 5:30 - Door Admission=One Item for Xmas Hamper. Manning Fiddlers & Christmas Carols. For more info call 780-836-2170.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (Theatre) - St. James Cathedral Doors open at 7:30pm - Includes Christmas Refreshments. Dec 15, 16 & 17. Proceeds to benefit the Salvation Army Food Bank, Preace River Soup Kitchen & Peace River Women’s Shelter.

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays. FREE Everyone welcome!

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

DEVELOPMENTAL PLAYGROUP (Family) - United Church Basement 1-2:30pm - Gross and Fine Motor Skills, Social Skills, Healthy Snacks, Music and Crafts. Every Thursday.

SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues and Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

DINNER THEATRE REHEARSALS “THIS OLD MAN” (Theatre) - Elk’s Hall 7pm - Every Tues, Thurs, and Sun until Jan 27. Performances in late Jan, early Feb.

WED, DEC 14 READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - PR Municipal Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 - Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

DINNER THEATRE REHEARSALS “THIS OLD MAN” (Theatre) - Elk’s Hall 7pm - Every Tues, Thurs, and Sun until Jan 27. Performances in late Jan, early Feb. GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

KID’S CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall

Berwyn/Brownvale Cadotte Lake DIXONVILLE Falher

Grimshaw Nampa Manning McLennan

Fairview

Peace River

Girouxville

St. Isidore

4-5:30pm - Ages 6-9. Every Thurs. For more info call 780-322-3954.

SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues and Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

FRI, DEC 16 STORYTIME (Family) - Peace River Municipal Library 10:30am - Every Friday. Up to age 5.

Story and Craft. Parent or Caregiver participation required.

PROUD TO SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY! Inquire about coffee for your next event.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (Theatre) - St. James Cathedral 7:30pm - Christmas Refreshments. Dec 15, 16 & 17. Proceeds to benefit the Salvation Army Food Bank, Peace River Soup Kitchen & Peace River Women’s Shelter.

780-624-3474.

COMMUNITY CHRISTMAS PARTY (Christmas) Battle River Ag Hall - Dinner, Entertainment & Dance. Tickets ($35) Available at Bumper to Bumper. Only 300 available.

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

SUN, DEC 18 ZEN MEDITATION (Well-Being) - Fine Arts Centre 10am - For more info call Eileen at 780-494-3410.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (Theatre) - St. James Cathedral Doors open at 7:30pm - Includes Christmas Refreshments. Dec 15, 16 & 17. Proceeds to benefit the Salvation Army Food Bank, Preace River Soup Kitchen & Peace River Women’s Shelter.

CHRISTMAS POTLUCK PARTY (Christmas) Old Lac Cardinal Hall 5:30 - For mroe info call 780-618-6938.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

YOGA (Fitness) - Senior Citizen’s Drop In Centre 4pm - From Oct. 2 - Dec. 18. BYO Yoga Mat and Blanket. Beginner and Intermediate. Gentle Flow. Drop in $10. For more info call Lynn at 780-624-4249.

SANTA AT THE MALL (Christmas) - Riverdrive Mall 5-8pm. Photos by Foto Source.

MOONLIGHT MADNESS (Christmas) - Participating businesses in Fairview. For more info got to www. fairviewchamber.com or call Debie 780-835-3355.

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed. www.prsoupkitchen.org DROP IN VOLLEYBALL (Fitness) GPRC Community Rec Centre 7-9pm - $6 without gym membership, FREE with a gym membership.

Every Friday INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

SAT, DEC 17 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - Grace United Church. 8pm - Every Saturday. For more info call 780-624-4710.

ANNUAL CHRISTMAS CONCERT & POTLUCK SUPPER (Christmas) - Brownvale Rec Centre 5pm.

DROP IN FLOOR HOCKEY (Fitness) - GPRC Rec Centre 5:30-7pm - Every Mon. $6 with gym membership, FREE with membership.

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed. www.prsoupkitchen.org PARENTS & TOTS (Family) - Nampa Municipal Library 10-11:30pm - For more info call 780-322-3954.

TUES, DEC 20 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS SUPPORT GROUP (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church (upstairs) 7:30pm - For more information call Sharon at 780-624-8778.

DINNER THEATRE REHEARSALS “THIS OLD MAN” (Theatre) - Elk’s Hall 7pm - Every Tues, Thurs, and Sun until Jan 27. Performances in late Jan, early Feb.

FREE SKATE (Family) - Kinsmen Arena 5-6:30pm - Sponsored by Clean Harbors Energy Services.

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Manning Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tuesdays and Thursdays.

FREE Everyone welcome!

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) Peace River United Church 7pm - Every Mon and Fri. For More Info call 780-219-1485.

WRITER’S BLOCK (Community) - Grimshaw Library 7:30pm - Every Mon. For more info call Gordon at 780-332-1732.

MANNING MINI-GYM (Family) - Manning Elementary Gym 10:30am - Mondays. 1h or play and song. All pre-school children welcome.

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 12-1pm. Every Mon & Fri. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call

PEACE RIVER SOUP KITCHEN (Community) - St. James Cathedral 12-1pm - Volunteers Needed. www.prsoupkitchen.org READ AWAY PROGRAM (Self Help) - PR Municipal Library 1-2pm - Adult reading circle (improve your reading skills). Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-624-4076.

TAKING OFF POUNDS SENSIBLY (TOPS) (Fitness) - Grimshaw Hospital 6:30pm - For more info call Linda 780-322-7443.

THURS, DEC 22

DINNER THEATRE REHEARSALS “THIS OLD MAN” (Theatre) - Elk’s Hall 7pm - Every Tues, Thurs, and Sun until Jan 27. Performances in late Jan, early Feb.

MON, DEC 19

INDOOR WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) - Al Adair Rec Centre 1 - 2pm. Every Wed. Bring Indoor Shoes and a Friend! For more info call 780-624-3474.

MANNING WALKING GROUP (Fitness) - Legion Hall 11-12pm - Tues & Thurs. FREE Everyone welcome!

KID’S CLUB (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 4-5:30pm - Ages 6-9. Every Thurs. For more info call 780-322-3954.

SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues and Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

DINNER THEATRE REHEARSALS “THIS OLD MAN” (Theatre) - Elk’s Hall 7pm - Every Tues, Thurs, and Sun until Jan 27. Performances in late Jan, early Feb.

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 7pm Beginner classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

MOVIE NIGHT AT THE LIBRARY (Community) PR Municipal Library 6-8pm - Family Christmas Movie and Popcorn. This month’s movie: Disney’s A Christmas Carol.

SENIOR’S WALKING PROGRAM (Fitness) Grimshaw Multiplex 10:30-11:30am - Every Tues and Thurs from Nov 15-Dec 16. Bring indoor shoes. For more info call 780-332-2122 or Community Services at 780-332-4788.

GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR (Fitness) - McLennan Elks Hall 10am - Every Mon and Thurs. Socialize while exercising and having fun.

WED, DEC 21 PARENTS AND TOTS (Family) - Mamowintowin Hall 1:30-3pm - Every Wednesday. For more info call 780-322-3954.

CRAC K T H E VAULT

HATHA YOGA (Well-Being) - Bodhi Tree 5:30 - Beginner/Intermediate classes. Drop-in $12 or purchase a punch card. For more info call 780-624-8838.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (Self Help) - St. Paul’s United Church. 8pm - Every Tuesday and Thursday.

For more information call 780-624-4710

theVAULTmagazine

9

THE FEATURE The Evolution of Modern Christmas

BY TORMAIGH VAN SLYKE

I

n the past couple years I’ve heard a lot of buzz that the sanctity of Christmas is being threatened by outsiders.

Word has it “other” cultures with “other” beliefs and “other” traditions are moving on in and trying to tell us we can’t say “Merry Christmas” anymore. Now, we’ve got to say “Happy Holidays.” Well, this is all a crock, and I’m going to tell you why.

Christmas is about time-honoured traditions. Let’s explore the historical origins of Christmas starting at the beginning— the first Saturnalia Festival in Rome, December 17, 217 BCE. Saturnalia was originally a one-day Roman winter festival held in honour of Saturn, the god of agriculture and harvest time, to raise morale after a recent military defeat.

On this day, rich Romans would temporarily exchange places with the poor.

They would then be forced to give money and other gifts to the poor, and during this time no one could be convicted of a crime. Within a few years, Saturnalia grew in popularity and became a 7-day festival that extended from December 17th to December 23rd.

As a result, traditions were spread throughout the Roman Empire such as making and wearing paper hats, making

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DE CE M B E R 9, 20 11

and eating festive crackers, putting coins in pudding, burning candles for ritual, festive decorating, and importantly, gift giving.

Around the time of Saturnalia, 200 BCE, worship for a Persian (Iranian) sun god named Mithras began to emerge.

The mythology of Mithras, known as the “bull-slayer,” spread through the Mediterranean and became very popular in the Roman Empire. Another god, Sol Invictus (unconquered sun), strongly associated with Mithras was used in Ancient Roman currency.

A festival called Natalis Invicti, meaning birth of the Unconquerable, was held annually on Mithras’ birthday, December 25, which was also believed to be the birthday of sol, the sun, and the Winter Solstice. The festival celebrated the sun’s triumph over the darkness of winter. In addition to having a shared birthday with Jesus Christ, Mithras was also said to be born of a virgin mother, have 12 followers or companions, die during Easter time, rise from death, and be depicted as a lamb.

Enter Jesus Christ. Historians believe Christ was born sometime between 7 BCE and 2 BCE. The month and day of Christ’s birth, however, is unknown.

According to the Bible, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph were visited by magi, or wise men, though it doesn’t actually say how many

there were, and were given gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. This tradition was celebrated by Christians on January 6 as the Feast of Epiphany, and it correlates to the 12 days of Christmas that are observed.

Christmas in its earliest years barely resembles today’s holiday. The Old English phrase for Christmas is “Cristes mæsse.”

The word “mæsse” was adopted from the Latin word “missa,” which translates to “bread,” “to send away as in on a mission,” or “to bring together.” As the name suggests, Christmas originally referred to the coming together and then being sent away on God’s mission.

Enter Saint Nicolas (270-343 AD).

Saint Nicolas is honoured in many western countries and is the patron saint of sailors, merchants, archers, thieves, children, and students. He is remembered for secret gift giving to children, especially by dropping coins in their shoes.

It is generally accepted by theologians that December 25 was not Christ’s actual date of birth by instead a date chosen by the Church. In the early to mid-4th century, the Christian Church selected December 25th as Christ’s ceremonial birthday for the first time. It is well known that the date coincided with an already popular Roman festival, natalis Invicti—birth of the Unconquerable.

THE FEATURE

Before the winter festival conformed, Odin and the Wild Hunt were associated with Yule. In addition, comparisons have been made between Odin and Sinterklaas, a western European figure fashioned after Saint Nicolas and considered a major inspiration for the contemporary Santa Claus.

By the 11th century, Saint Nicolas’ stories were translated and eventually entered widespread folklore, which circulated Western Europe. The Church made December 6, Saint Nicolas Day, a holiday. As traditions surrounding the holiday developed, Sinterklaas, a beloved character, was born.

Many non-Christian characteristics are latent in Sinterklaas specifically. For example, Sinterklaas had mischievous black-faced helpers, carried a staff, and rode above the ground atop roofs with his white horse. Whereas the Yuleworshipped Odin, who was the Nordic god of Victory, Death, and Magic (among others), was known for be accompanied by ravens, carrying a spear, and riding

Adapting and adopting traditions of outdoor winter festivals and feasts such as Saturnalia, Natalis Invicti, Yule, and Sinterklaas-inspired Saint Nicolas Day eventually transformed Christmas into a two-week, primarily outdoor, drunken, caroling, ginormous feast extravaganza.

Plants such as holly, ivy, mistletoe, laurel, and rosemary were used as decoration even though they had non-Christian connotations.

Popular festivities included violent games such as “hot cockles,” where players were blindfolded and beaten until they guessed who was punishing them, dancing, mumming (masquerading & Christmas clowning), and mystery plays. Each year, the end of the holiday was marked by Epiphany, the day Christ was said to have been visited by the magi and thus “shown” to the gentiles.

By the mid-17th century, Christmas mayhem led to the Church taking drastic measures. Catholics and Protestants banned Christmas because at the time they felt it was unholy, pagan in origin, and otherwise unbiblical. The celebration was outlawed in Boston for 22 years and unfashionable in the region for almost 200 years.

Over the next 200 years, Christmas lost much of its mass appeal. Namely, the Industrial Revolution re-patterned social life, bringing with it the shift to more orderly urban values. If Christmas was to survive, it needed to go through yet another metamorphosis. A poem, a short novel, and a series of hand drawn pictures posited by influential figures of the 19th century sparked the imagination of the new age and led the way for

modern Christmas.

Originally published anonymously in 1823, “A Visit from Saint Nicolas” commonly known as “Twas the Night Before Christmas” described the patron saint as a kind, heavyset, “jolly old elf ” who landed a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer (names included) on the roof, entered and exited through the chimney, and filled children’s stockings with presents.

Published in 1843, Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” was hugely influential in the resurgence of Christmas. It was quickly adapted to be a theatre production. Themes of rich and poor, joy and misery, and good and bad struck a chord with audiences, and it is still important in defining western Christmas values.

Enter Santa Claus. Thomas Nast, the same political cartoonist responsible for Uncle Sam, is largely responsible for Santa Claus as he is depicted today. For years, Nast drew Santa in a new a clever way. Before Nast’s drawings, notably the one published in Harper’s Weekly in 1863, Santa was generally drawn tall, slim, in a green suit, and often without a white beard.

After covering 2,000+ years, it’s clear that Christmas has undergone quite the evolution. Today, it’s celebrated by billions of people around the world. But, let’s put this into context. Do we have to concern ourselves with a “Happy Holiday” heathen? I mean, Christmas is more than just a Christian celebration.

Fun fact: “Merry X-Mas” -- when Christianity was still quite young many Christians spoke and wrote Greek and the Greek word for Christ is “Xristos.”

CRACK T H E VAULT

Photo: Aloxe

Yule, the 12-day Germanic/Scandinavian pagan winter feast festival, was celebrated at least as far back as the early 9th century. Yule Feast was eventually assimilated

by Christmas and its participants intentionally Christianized. The date of the Yule Feast was changed to December 25.

Christmas incorporated its traditions of burning of Yule log, Yule singing, and the Christmas Ham (the Yule Boar).

the sky with his gray eight-legged horse Sleipnir.

Photo: Minnesota Historical Society

Enter Dionysius Exiguus (470-544 AD) a monk, mathematician, and astronomer who was tasked with reforming the calendar and figuring out the exact birth year of Jesus Christ. Exiguus did so but estimated Christ’s birth to be was a couple years later than is presently thought.

theVAULTmagazine

11

ENTERTAINMENT theVAULTmagazine Staff Picks: Fave Old School Cartoons

Susan

Jenelle

For my favourite old school cartoon I have to go with the story of a magical blonde girl with special powers who was chosen to defend the world from the forces of evil. Nope, not Buffy.

As an adult, I have pretty much outgrown cartoons save for the occasional South Park or Simpsons episode. I will, however, sit down and watch Beetlejuice if it’s on.

“Fighting evil by moonlight, Winning love by daylight, Never running from a real fight, she is the one named Sailor Moon!”

Beetlejuice, which ran from 1989-1991, is a fantastic animated series following the adventures of Lydia Deetz and her best friend Beetlejuice, who happens to be a slimy, crude and shapeshifting ghost. The cartoon is loosely based on the film of the same name.

Sailor Moon

Serena started off as a clumsy, underachieving, and ditsy blonde 14-year old (in other words, more of a regular kid) and through the course of the series became a noble, heroic, mature woman as she realized her true identity as the reincarnated Princess of the Moon. Which also involved a lot of short, short sailor skirts and kicking some gem monster ass.

As an adult, I can better appreciate the fact that the series not only featured strong warrior women who were still loving and sexy, but also an actual lesbian love relationship between Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune.

I’ve only seen the far more heavily censored English dubbed versions of the TV series, but the manga has recently been re-released and depending on what happens with rights, maybe a DVD set or the TV series will be released again soon.

Beetlejuice

Lydia, a social misfit in her cleancut town, has the power to call Beetlejuice into the Living World and she also has the power to visit the Neither world—the creepy, macabre alternate reality that BJ hails from.

The show, which was Directed and Executive Produced by Tim Burton himself, can still be enjoyed in all of its campy goodness on Teletoon Retro.

Tormaigh Dick Tracy

The Dick Tracy Show (19611962) is my favorite cartoon.

No, it wasn’t a part of the Saturday morning cartoon lineup of my day. I actually came across it at about age 13

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D E CE M B E R 9, 20 11

on VHS. At first, I assumed I was too old for it, but we only had farmer-vision, so of course I popped it into the VCR one night. I fell in love with it instantly. Only 130 five-minute episodes exist, and my VHS tape had 10 of them.

The show has of a catalogue of stereotyped, less-thansmart cops and robbers with hysterical accents, ridiculous plots, simple animation, bullets whizzing everywhere never hitting anyone, and cheesy oneliners to close each episode.

It was pulled from the air in the 70s and 80s because it was considered by some to be racially insensitive. Now, it can be found on Netflix. Go figure.

Mary

Cowboy Bebop Cowboy Bebop is a notorious anime for a number of reasons.

Any descriptions given do Cowboy Bebop little justice; you would have to watch it to understand the sheer charisma within. To keep it simple, Cowboy Bebop is in a stylistic league all its own with only the 2002-2003 TV series Firefly coming close.

Cowboy Bebop is packed with philosophical themes including existentialism, existential boredom and loneliness. We follow five lost individuals who become a team of bounty

hunters aboard the space ship Bebop. Each episode is something new full of humor, misgivings and personal tragedies constantly edging closer to the final solution.

Cowboy Bebop isn’t fluff; it is about life for better or for worse.

You will have good days and bad days and days which will haunt you until your demise. Why is Cowboy Bebop worth your time? Simply, Cowboy Bebop is like an animated reflection of life—electrifying.

Chris

The Raccoons I chose some Canadian content for my favorite childhood cartoon – The Raccoons – but it wasn’t until I tried to explain why I liked it that I realized what an impact it actually had on me.

Originally broadcast on CBC from 1984-1991, The Raccoons follows a group of environmentalist forest animals who attempt to foil the plans of industrialist aardvark Cyril Sneer to destroy the Evergreen Forest. With the help of their friends, Bert and Melissa Raccoon operate the local newspaper and fend off the advance of Sneer’s corporation week after week.

This cartoon may have had more

of a direct influence on my life than I ever thought, considering how it has turned out thus far.

I’m not sure if I’ve based the moral code I’ve developed as an adult on a childhood cartoon, or if I should be angry with the CBC.

Dylan

Dragonball Z I watched a lot of shows when I was growing up. From Hey Arnold to Beasties, I watched them all. However, when the question of my favorite childhood television show arises, the only possible choice would have to be Dragonball Z. The epic story line, the epic battles, and the epic animation make Dragonball Z force to be reckoned with in the industry of badass. And let’s not forget about the awesome Super Saiyans. Seems like only yesterday I was watching Gohan turn into Super Saiyan 2 and making Cell his beeotch.

There is one thing I couldn’t stand about this show: It took approximately ten episodes of standing around for some Super Saiyan goodness to happen, along with other epic and nonepic things. And don’t get me started on the Spirit Bomb boredom caused during Goku’s fight with Frieza. Gawwlllh.

To comment on this and other articles go to www.thevaultmag.com

ENTERTAINMENT

New Year’s Eve at the Next Legend Studio

BY DYLAN LALIBERTE

I

t has come to my attention that some people don’t know about the old United Church in Berwyn, AB. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “What? Who doesn’t know about the epic church turned studio?” I know. I thought the same thing. Well, you poor unknowing people, prepare for some nifty info!

Almost three years ago, all around swell guy, amazing musician, and my fellow band mate, Kurt Dehaan (A New Direction), bought a church.

That’s right. This church was purchased for two purposes: homestead and musical fusion.

Since the day Kurt got the keys, we’ve been practicing and performing and throwing great parties and get togethers.

Over the years we’ve been slowly renovating and have turned the basement into Next Legend Studio (Also commonly referred to as “the Church”), a full on professional studio and jam space. Covered in black and drenched in musical energy, many a lonesome soul has found musical satisfaction

within the walls.

Anyways, to kind of jump to the point: the New Year is coming up. 2012. The end of days is among us. For the past two years in a row, we’ve thrown an epic New Year’s Eve party. Every year it gets better. Well, seeing as this may or may not be our last New Year’s Eve, we want this to be our greatest party yet! So now that you’re filled in, consider this your official invitation to the Next Legend Studio/A New Direction 2012 New Year’s Eve party! Starting around 10:00pm, we’ll be dancing the night away to live music. Come on down and welcome 2012 with us!

(Warning: Rowdy people are not tolerated. Everyone just wants to have a good time with good friends. BYOB!) Directions: Once you pull into Berwyn from the highway, go straight until you reach a stop sign.

Go straight through the intersection, until you go past Main Street. The Church will be the big white building on the left.

Kikbak rocked the Grimshaw Curling Rink at the fundraiser for Dr. Botha on Nov. 26.

Dr. Botha was raising money for his quest to summit K2. If successful, Botha will be the oldest Canadian to conquer the second highest mountain in the world.

CRAC K T H E VAULT

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13

LIFESTYLE Is a healthy economy good for people? subdue shoppers hell-bent on getting deals on electronic gadgets during the biggest shopping day in the country.

Despite these and other incidents, including shootings, U.S. business leaders are buoyed by an expected rise in consumer spending – to nearly $500 billion this year – in the shopping season, which begins the day after U.S. Thanksgiving.

BY DAVID SUZUKI Science Matters Vol. 13, No. 49 6 December 2011

O

n November 25, referred to as “Black Friday” in the U.S., a woman pepper-sprayed fellow customers at a California Wal-Mart during a mad rush to get a bargainpriced Xbox. In North Carolina, it was police who used pepper spray to

Meanwhile, Adbusters, the Vancouver magazine that sparked the worldwide Occupy protests, is encouraging supporters to “Occupy Christmas” by boycotting holiday gift shopping, among other actions. (Adbusters also popularized Buy Nothing Day, which fell on Black Friday this year.)

The prospect of a seasonal shopping boycott isn’t making people in the retail industry jolly. Retail Council of Canada spokesperson Sally Ritchie said such protests would hurt businesses and working people when the global economy is in turmoil.

The argument is that without the seasonal scramble for gadgets and gizmos and disposable goods, businesses will fail and people will lose jobs. So, if you want to keep the

economy strong, go out and buy as much stuff as you can, even if – or especially if – it will end up in the landfill!

Here are some other ways you can help keep the economy strong, according to John de Graaf and David K. Batker, authors of What’s the Economy For, Anyway? You could have a car accident.

That would mean money spent on repairs, insurance, investigations, and maybe even a new car. You could get a divorce. All that money spent on lawyers and court services is good for the economy. On a larger scale, you could hope for a massive oil spill.

Cleanup costs contribute to a growing economy.

Forget about protecting a forest or conserving a wetland, though. Ducks and bears don’t spend money. And services that nature provides, such as carbon storage, water filtration, and habitat for plants and animals, don’t factor into most economic equations.

That’s because the measure most of the world uses to gauge the “health” of the economy is the Gross Domestic Product, the total value of goods and services a country produces in a year.

One month of crazy consumerism won’t have a huge impact on the world’s teetering economies. We need something bigger – a war perhaps.

That would get money flowing. And we need to drill for more oil, dig up more minerals, convince people to throw out old stuff and buy new. We won’t be any happier and we won’t be healthier – quite the opposite. But the economy will be stronger. And that’s all that counts, right?

Sadly, for many political and business leaders, it is all that counts. But it shouldn’t be. We need a new way of looking at what it means to live well within the Earth’s natural systems. We need to consider what we truly need to be happy and healthy. It’s not more stuff, and it’s not working harder for longer hours at often tedious, pointless, or environmentally destructive jobs so that we can produce more stuff and get money to buy it.

Occupy Christmas is mostly symbolic.

It won’t change global economic systems, and it could hurt businesses and workers. But it might get us thinking about what really is important to us as we head into the holiday season. I’d argue that spending time

with friends and family or helping out people in need are more important and satisfying than getting a new Xbox.

Not that gift-giving is bad. If it’s sincere rather than just an obligation, it helps us connect with people. And meaningful gifts really do contribute to the betterment of the community – locally produced items or services, something you made yourself, donations to charities the recipient supports, invitations to partake in a shared activity.

The holiday season should be a time for resting, sharing, and celebrating, not for being stressed and overwhelmed at the mall. My wish for the season is that all of you are able to take the time to relax and reflect, and enjoy time with loved ones.

Written with contributions from David Suzuki Foundation editorial and communications specialist Ian Hanington.

Learn more at www.davidsuzuki.org.

Cream Cheese & Shrimp Mushroom Caps: Perfect for Holiday Entertaining!

You’ll need: Fresh Mushrooms (roughly 30, various sizes) 250ml Cream Cheese 1/2 cup shredded parmesan cheese Figure 1: Mushroom Cap ingredients.

2 shallots, diced 2 cloves garlic, diced Handful of mushroom stems, diced Salt and Pepper 1 tbsp. Butter 1 cup Cooked Shrimp, Peeled & Diced

Figure 2: Mushroom Caps fresh from the oven

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1. Preheat the oven to 350F. 2. Wash and destem mushrooms. Keep about a third of the stems.

3. Steam or boil your shrimp (even if they are precooked, it helps to warm them a bit) 4. Dice your shallots, garlic and stems. Heat butter and sauté the diced ingredients until shallots are translucent. Season with Salt and Pepper. Let cool.

(Tip: If you add slightly warm sautéed ingredients to the cream cheese, it will help to soften the cheese mixture.)

5. Mix together cream cheese and Parmesan cheese, add the diced shrimp and the cooled diced shallots, garlic and stems. Mix everything together.

6. Spoon the mixture into the caps. Place caps into a 9x13 casserole dish or baking sheet.

7. Bake for 50 minutes, or until the water at the bottom of the pan is mostly evaporated.

8. Let cool and enjoy with friends!

LIFESTYLE

Buskin’ at the Belle

Rum Runners Liquor Store

Beer of the Month Club 1. Buy this month’s Sampler Pack, 2. Come back to purchase one of the month’s selected beers,

BY DYLAN LALIBERTE

T

here I was, walking with my posse into the Belle Petroleum Centre, on Sunday, the fourth of December, 2011. Time: nine thirtyish. Guitar in hand, I walk through the main lobby, eyes adjusting to the little glass suns all over the ceiling.

Anticipation giving me goose bumps.

I clear my mind. It’s time to get my head in the Game. Why? Because it’s open mic night.

I’m talking, of course, about Buskin’ at the Belle, an open mic night put on by

Toni Antonietti and local legend Jeff McCann at the Belle Petroleum Centre every Sunday. I peeked into the main room, not knowing what to expect, and received nothing but horror. People were partying and dancing…to a DJ? “Myah, this ain’t right, see. There’s something fishy here,” I thought to myself. “Where’s the live music, see?”

I asked a passer-by. “Down the hall in the café room, then right?” she replied.

I gathered myself and sped off.

After some confused searching and getting lost, we finally walked into the dark room. It’s not what I expected.

Dim lights, relaxed atmosphere, talented individuals sitting on big comfy couches and sipping coffee. This is my kind of crowd. I sit down, and fix my eyes on the small stage set up in the corner. My good friend and band mate Vern Ledger (A New Direction) is playing a pink electric guitar. Most excellent.

The night wears on. Drinks are had and laughs are shared. Several people play on stage for the world to see, including Kiefer Smith, Buzz Lorenzen, myself, and several other very talented musicians. After what

seems like no time at all, the night was over, and we all got sent out into the cold, a little more fulfilled.

Buskin’ at the Belle is a great chance for people who want to share their music and creativity in an intimate, supportive environment. I know I’m going to be checking it out more often, and I strongly recommend everybody else checking it out too. Let’s fill those comfy couches. Every Sunday at 7:30pm. Be there, or be square. Oh, and did I mention that December 18th is Buskin at the Belle: Christmas Carol Edition? Well, it is. See you there!

3. Receive 20% off the purchase price of those beer!

New Items in Store Weekly Wide variety of gift ideas Advice & Discounts for Weddings & Events

HWY 2, Grimshaw 780-332-2299

The Travel Column: Geek Nation Tours TORMAIGH VAN SLYKE

L

ooking for a different kind of holiday? Ever been to Comic Con or a Star Trek convention?

Well, Teras Cassidy, from Hinton Alberta, can hook you up. He has over 20 years of experience in the travel industry, owns two travel agencies (one in Fairview and one in Hinton), and is a self-proclaimed geek from day one.

After offering great, but somewhat “normal,” travel tours, Cassidy realized he had an opportunity to geek out with people from all over the world and let them see the places they’ve only dreamt of with Geek Nation Tours.

The following is from an interview I had with Cassidy: What’s Geek Nation Tours?

Geek Nation Tours is a company dedicated to supplying only the very best in geeky holidays. We travel to geek events, tournaments, and places of historical significance to the geek.

We have travelled to the San Diego Comic Con, the Star Trek convention in Las Vegas, PAX Prime in Seattle, and even a miniature war game tour in the United Kingdom to mention a few. If anything geeky is your poison then we most likely have a tour for you or are planning one.

Cool. Okay, so I choose a tour. What happens next?

First, we give all our clients a call to make sure they don’t have any questions and to talk tour and payment details. Then, as we get closer, we let you know what to bring and how to be prepared (sometimes with a conference call to talk about registration—like our Gen Con tour for instance) and then we head off to the destination. If we are not flying with you, we pick you up at the airport, get you settled in the hotel, and then we explore the area and the event together.

Do your tours include airfare and accommodations, or do I meet up with everyone when I get there?

Accommodations, event passes, and most dinners are almost always included. Air is sometimes included, but please remember we have clients from all around the world and so each person’s airfare and scheduling will be different. This means we can make each participants itinerary as detailed and as specialized as they may need.

stories” with other people of like mind.

This means not only do participants get to talk with people with the same loves and with a common vocabulary, but you also get to see what each other are doing and thus glimpse hints of what you can do the next day.

While we are on the subject of dinners however we should talk about our Welcome Dinners. We always put on a “Welcome Dinner” during each tour - this is a time to get together, meet other people on the tour, but most importantly to hear speakers discuss how to best get the most out of whatever event we are exploring.

Participants get to hear the ins and outs of the convention, what to see, and how to go about getting all they want out of the tour. They can ask the “experts” anything they like about the event and always walk away more educated. We also get together each night for less formal dinners, and these are no less important. We get to talk about what we did each day and exchange “war-

If you have never been to a convention or just don’t want to go alone we are an awesome option for you. You get to hang out with people with the same love and get the security of being in a group. Plus we make sure you are where you want to be and doing what you want to be doing. Expect to have fun and to leave with new friends from around the world.

What can I expect if I’ve never been?

Another important part of Geek Nation Tours is our “Parallel Universes” division which takes care of the non-geek spouse or girl/boyfriend.

Have a non-geek wife that likes to visit museums but doesn’t want to geek out? No problem. We can make sure she is busy when you geek out. Have a boyfriend that is more into sports than CRAC K T H E VAULT

geeking out? No problem. While he watches a game, you can get your geek on. We can take care of that.

How often are tours organized, and how do you plan them?

Geek Nation Tours runs about 12 geeky tours a year. We do extensive research into all the events and destinations we cover. This, of course, means going to the event but also looking at each event through the eyes of a multitude of geeky interests. A person going to AdeptiCon for instance may be interest in many different game rules or those going to a comic convention with us may want to buy comics, find out about upcoming movies, or get celebrity signatures. We have to be ready for all these possibilities. A destination is also interesting to find out about. For instance, when we go to Seattle we always go see the Space Needle and the Science Fiction Museum, but we also go visit Boeing and the History of Flight Museum. www.geeknationtours.com for more info

theVAULTmagazine

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CULTURE Who The Hell is the Christmas Krampus?

Photo: Anita Martinz

a stick, the Krampus tradition brings true terror to Christmas with its Krampus monster, who is often depicted dragging children in chains straight down to hell. The tradition went underground during the Inquisition, when the church decreed that impersonating a devil was punishable by death, but despite the church’s edicts the more remote places in the mountains kept the Krampus alive until his comeback in the 17th century.

BY SUSAN THOMPSON

O

n Christmas, you’d better be good or Santa won’t bring you any presents… and he’ll call his 7-foot tall, hairy, long-tongued, goat-horned, clovenhooved demon to come and grab you in the middle of the night, put you in a sack, molest, torture, and beat you, and finally kill and eat you.

Oh, you thought you would just get a lump of coal? You’ll be wishing all you got was a harmless lump of coal by the time the Krampus gets through with you.

Krampus gets his name from “Krampen,” the old German word for claw. It’s possible he was based on some old pagan god, while other legends say that the Krampus is an incubus chained by Santa with magic chains, adding a distinctly sexual overtone to the monster – one that is born out in the subversive, suggestive, and excessive images of the Krampus that were all the rage on Christmas cards in Europe around the turn of the century, and are We all know the Christian story becoming popular again today. The of Christmas, but few in North Devil in Design is the definitive book America are familiar with the collecting many of these images. devilish side of the holiday season.

For hundreds of years, the tradition But Krampus isn’t just for kids. In in Austria, Switzerland, Croatia, the first two weeks of December, Germany and other remote alpine and in particular on the night of regions in Europe has been that St. Nicholas Day also known as St. Nick not only rewards good Krampusnacht (Night of Krampus) children with sweets and toys, but on Dec. 5, young men dress up as the also employs a devilish companion/ Krampus and run through town with slave called the Krampus to mete torches, generally causing mischief out punishments to bad kids. He’s by scaring any hapless souls they the “bad cop” to Santa’s “good find along the way. While it might cop.” In the Netherlands there is a seem that this particular Christmas similar (if more obviously racist) tradition bears more in common tradition that Santa’s little helper with North America’s Halloween Black Pete will beat bad kids with than Christmas, “mumming” or

dressing up as mythological figures during the winter solstice season can actually be traced back thousands of years, or long before the date we currently attribute to the birth of Jesus Christ. Some of the Krampus Runs in Europe have been held annually for the past 500 years, long before Hallmark insisted the season was all about peace and love and culturally-sanctioned overconsumption. In some towns, kids are even made to run a Krampusgauntlet and try to dodge some hard swats from birch branches, although in most places is remains more of an excuse to get drunk and chase around young women giving them spankings.

These days, the Christmas Krampus seems to be experiencing a resurgence of popularity, with Krampusnacht parties springing up everywhere from New York to San Francisco, probably because the far more adult association with sin and chaos makes for a livelier party theme than the virgin birth of an innocent baby. It’s also a way to get a horror fix during the most overtly saccharine season of the year.

After all, it’s always more fun to be naughty than it is to be nice…even if it means the Krampus will get you.

To see some images of the Krampus over the years, visit the postcard gallery at: http://www.krampus. com/krampus-gallery.php To comment on this other articles go www.thevaultmag.com

and to

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D E CE M B E R 9, 20 11

Thank You from inPeace River.

Happy Holidays from Wayne, Margret, Cole and the Staff.

Hey you!

Read theVAULTmagazine’s Blog

www.thevaultmagazine.tumblr.com Win Free Stuff with the Friday Trivia Question Updated Mon-Fri “A LITTLE PIECE OF THE PEACE COUNTRY” The Hide ‘N Seek Native Handcraft Store is one of the many hidden treasures of the Peace Country.

Located in the Sagitawa Friendship Centre, the Store carries a large inventory of traditional Native handicrafts crafted by artisans from various communities throughout the region.

Every item in the store is handcrafted and significant to the Native culture and traditions.

•Home Tanned Hide Footwear (moccasins & mukluks for all ages)

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780-624-2443 Sagitawa Friendship Centre•10108-100 Ave.17 CRACK T H E VAULT theVAULTmagazine

Free Will Astrology

by Rob Brezsny © Copyright 2011 FOR THE WEEK OF DEC 8 - DEC 14

HOMEWORK:

Show me why I might enjoy

following you on Twitter by sending some of your sample tweets to Truthrooster@gmail.com.

And find me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/ FreeWillAstro.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What’s the astrological writings from back become rather interesting. And if CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There are most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life? To answer that question is your first assignment. It’s OK if you can’t decide between the three or four most beautiful things. What’s important is to keep visions of those amazements dancing in the back of your mind for the next few days.

Play with them in your imagination.

Feel the feelings they rouse in you as you muse about the delights they have given you. Regard them as beacons that will attract other ravishing marvels into your sphere.

Now here’s your second assignment: Be alert for and go hunting for a new “most beautiful thing.”

then. - Creative Cancerian.” Dear Creative: To be honest, I wasn’t writing horoscopes back in 1943, since I wasn’t anywhere near being born yet. On the other hand, I give you permission to make stuff up for your novel and say I wrote it back in 1943. Most of you Cancerians have good imaginations about the past, and you’re currently going through a phase when that talent is amplified. While you’re tinkering with my history, have fun with yours, too. This is an excellent time for members of your tribe to breathe new life and fresh spin into a whole slew of your own personal memories.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Not to LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): At Chow.com, dream boldly may turn out to be irresponsible,” said educator George Leonard. I certainly think that will be true for you in the coming months, Taurus. In my astrological opinion, you have a sacred duty not only to yourself, but also to the people you care about, to use your imagination more aggressively and expressively as you contemplate what might lie ahead for you. You simply cannot afford to remain safely ensconced within your comfort zone, shielded from the big ideas and tempting fantasies that have started calling and calling and calling to you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Researchers

at the University of Oregon claim that in certain circumstances, they can make water flow uphill (tinyurl. com/UphillFlow). I’m not qualified to evaluate their evidence, but I do know that in the coming week you will have the power to accomplish the metaphorical equivalent of what they say they did. Don’t squander this magic on trivial matters, please, Gemini. Use it to facilitate a transformation that’s important to your long-term well-being.

food critic L. Nightshade gathered “The 78 Most Annoying Words to Read in a Restaurant Review.”

Among the worst offenders: “meltingly tender,” “yummilicious,” “crazy delicious,” “orgasmic,” “I have seen God,” “symphony of flavors,” and “party in your mouth.”

I understand the reluctance of any serious wordsmith to resort to such predictable language in crafting an appraisal of restaurant fare, but I don’t mind borrowing it to hint at your immediate future. What you experience may be more like a “party in your head” than a “party in your mouth,” and “crazy delicious” may describe events and adventures rather than flavors, per se. But I think you’re in for a yummilicious time.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In “Nan

You’re a Window Shopper,” British recording artist Lily Allen sings, “The bottom feels so much better than the top.” She means it ironically; the person she’s describing in the song is neurotic and insecure. But in using that declaration as a theme for your horoscope this week -- the bottom feels so much better than the top -I mean it sincerely. What you have CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Dear Rob: imagined as being high, superior, Is there any way to access your or uppermost may turn out to be horoscope archives going back to mediocre, illusory, or undesirable.

1943? I’m writing a novel about Conversely, a state of affairs that you World War II and need to see your once considered to be low, beneath your notice, or not valuable could

you truly open your mind to the 501 possible solutions to your current possibilities, it may even evolve dilemma. At least ten of them would into something that’s quite useful. bring you a modicum of peace, a bit of relief, and a touch of satisfaction.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Emily Rubin Most of the rest wouldn’t feel fantastic, invited authors to write about a but would at least allow you to specific theme for a literary reading mostly put the angst behind you and she organized in New York last move on with your life. But only one September: stains. “What is your of those potential fixes can generate favorite stain?” she asked prospective a purgative and purifying success participants, enticing them to that will extract the greatest possible imagine a stain as a good thing, or at learning from the situation and give least as an interesting twist. Included you access to all of the motivational in her own list were chocolate, candle energy it has to offer. Be very choosy. wax, lipstick, grass, mud, wine, and tomato sauce. What are yours, AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Libra? This would be an excellent quality of your consciousness is the time to sing the praises of your best- single most influential thing about loved or most provocative blotches, you. It’s the source of the primary splotches, and smirches -- and have impact you make on other human fun stirring up some new ones. beings. It changes every situation you interact with, sometimes subtly SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Mickey and other times dramatically. So Mouse is a Scorpio, born November here’s my first question: How would 18, 1928. Bugs Bunny is a Leo, you characterize the quality of coming into the world on July 27, your consciousness? The answer is 1940. In their long and storied careers, complicated, of course. But there these two iconic cartoon heroes have must be eight to ten words that made only one joint appearance. It capture the essence of the vibes you was in the film Who Framed Roger beam out wherever you go. Now Rabbit. They got equal billing and comes my second question: Are you spoke the same number of words. I’m satisfied with the way you contribute predicting that a comparable event to life on earth with the quality of your will soon take place in your world, consciousness? It’s an excellent time Scorpio: a conjunction of two stars, to contemplate these primal matters. a blend of two strong flavors, or a coming together of iconic elements PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Some martial that have never before mixed. Sounds artists unleash a sharp percussive like you’re in for a splashy time. shout as they strike a blow or make SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Harvey a dramatic move -- a battle cry that Ball was a commercial artist who helps channel their will into an dreamed up the iconic image of explosive, concise expression of force. the smiley face. He whipped it out The Japanese term for this is kiai. A in ten minutes one day in 1963. few women’s tennis players invoke a Unfortunately for him, he didn’t similar sound as they smack the ball trademark or copyright his creation, with their racquet. Maria Sharapova and as a result made only $45 from it, holds the record for loudest shriek even as it became an archetypal image at 105 decibels. The coming weeks used millions of times all over the would be an excellent time for you world. Keep his story in the back of to call on your own version of kiai, your mind during the coming weeks, Pisces. As you raise your game to Sagittarius. I have a feeling you will the next level, it would make perfect be coming up with some innovative sense for you to get your entire body moves or original stuff, and I would involved in exerting some powerful, be sad if you didn’t get proper credit highly-focused master strokes. and recognition for your work.

CHECK OUT OUR BLOG FOR NEXT WEEK’S HOROSCOPE WWW.THEVAULTMAGAZINE.TUMBLR.COM

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HUMOUR

Dylan’s DIY:

Oddities

Sledding

☆

The world’s heaviest insect weighs 71g, three times the weight of a mouse.

Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

(WARNING: Do not actually do any of this. May cause stained pants, cry babies, and death.)

H

Figure 1

ello there, boys and girls! It’s Friday!

Friday! Gotta get down and super excited on Friday because I have a very special Do It Yourself for you on Friday. Which is today. Actually, it’s Monday, but when you read this it will be Friday.

backwards, or sideways, depending on your mood and couch. Next, you climb on, along with your friends, unless they’re pansies. Next you nudge your way forward and slide down the hill, completing the transformation from couch to toboggan (Figure 2).

Are you tired of not having any awesome toboggans to go sledding with? Tired of using gross old pizza boxes and other cardboard things to slide down on? Well now you’ll never go sledless again! Today my friends and I are going to show you how to make your own toboggan, with things that you can find lying around your own house!

Step 3 : party dance.

Do the customary cheer and/or

Lather, rinse, repeat. Play safe, wear a helmet and a cape, and stay safe! Happy sledding!

(To view many more pictures of this adventure, and others, visit www.andirection.webs.com)

Step 1 :

Now the first step can sometimes be the most difficult step, depending on the architecture of your home. It is also the most important step. First thing you’re going to want to do is look in your living room for a couch. Any couch will do. I used a two person love seat, but you can use bigger couches too. You could even use a chair, who’s gonna stop you? Anyway, once you get your couch out of your house, put it on top of your car, have your friends hold it, and drive to the nearest sledding area (Figure 1).

Humans sleep through one-third of their lives.

Humans can survive longer without food than without sleep.

Christmas trees usually grow for 15 years before they are sold.

In Germany, Heiligabend, or Christmas Eve, is said to be a magical time when the pure hearted can hear animals talking.

Hippocrates, generally accepted as the father of medicine, included wine in most of his recorded remedies (including cooling fevers, as a diuretic, and as a general antiseptic).

Tannin is derived from the skins, pulp and pips of grapes. It is found mostly in red wines and is a great antioxident.

Step 2 :

Now that you’re at the nearest hill, you can drive to the top if possible, or start the great journey to the top while your friends carry the couch up for you. Once you get to the top, you start the process of turning the couch into a toboggan. First, you lie the couch down on its back, side, or bottom, and face it forward,

It would take 1,200,000 mosquitoes to completely drain the average human.

Oenophobia is an intense fear or hatred of wine.

Fgure 2

www.geeknationtours.com headgeek@geeknationtours.com

CRAC K T H E VAULT

theVAULTmagazine

19

READER SUBMITTED

Rant Aw, how cute. New relationship, you guys are doing lovey dove-y things.

Being all romantic. Awesome, but the party stops when they decide to share a Facebook account. Let’s play this sh*t out. New couple uses the girlfriend’s page, and simply adds the boyfriend’s name on. Now everyone knows this sh*t is going to get serious. They post a couple cute statuses about each other. Now, I’m pissed. First, I don’t have a f*cking clue who this “new boyfriend” is so I don’t give a f*ck about his opinion. If I wanted to get to know them, I’d simply add them. Then we could have a tea and crumpets conversation about life, but I just don’t give a f*ck. NO F*CKS ARE GIVEN! The couple say they trust each other and that’s why they are sharing, yo, seriously, if you trusted each other than you should both be able to have your own conversations, on your own damn Facebook accounts. So moral of the story, take the boyfriend/girlfriend’s name off your account, and live separate Facebook lives. Hopefully this little rant saves another poor soul from reading a sappy shared status. You’re welcome. ;)

Did something make your day or piss you off?

Email us your rant or rave to thevaultmagazine@hotmail.com

Katrina K.

Domestic violence doesn’t take a holiday

Beyond the Birds and the Bees

happy, this is truly a lose-lose situation.

Whatever age your kids start asking questions, you want to be a conversation starter, not a stopper. Some door openers to evening long discussions can be things, “We were never taught about HIV/AIDS in school.

Have you learned anything about HIV/AIDS this year?” or “What have you learned about HIV? Can you tell me about it?” A few conversation blockers are, “You’re too young to know that,” “Where did you hear that?” “I don’t care what your friends are doing,” “That’s none of your business,” and “We can talk about that when you need to know.”

•

SUBMITTED BY SHARON MAILLOUX, EXEC. DIRECTOR OF STEPPING UP erry Como sings “There’s No Place like Home for the Holidays,” and while this is true for most, for others home doesn’t feel safe at all.

Alberta has the highest rate of domestic violence in Canada, affecting 1 in 3 women and countless numbers of men.

While in some homes voices ring with Christmas carols and holiday joys, others will be raised in anger and in pain.

Stepping Up offers a safe, blame-free environment that respects the right for self-determination. Groups are 15 weeks long, one evening per week, and separate groups are for men and women. Group topics focus on the impact of domestic violence on children, understanding violence and abuse, power and control, self-awareness and responsibility, healthy boundaries, healthy communication and being our best selves.

Domestic violence goes well beyond the physical abuse people often think of when they think of violence; it is emotional, psychological, and spiritual violence as well. People engaged in violent relationships often experience an imbalance of power, or an on-going power struggle wherein someone is the winner and someone is the loser, but since neither is really very

New groups will be starting mid-February. For more information or to register, contact Stepping Up at 780624-8235. A wise man named Viktor Frankl said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Give yourself the gift of peace this holiday season.

P

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D E CE M B E R 9, 20 11

SUBMITTED BY JARED GOSSEN, HIV EDUCATOR AT HIV NORTH

A

lthough pierced tongues and text blistered thumbs may have convinced us otherwise, many youth still consider their parents to be one of the most influential voices in their lives.

Parents help lay the foundation, for better or worse, of youth’s values and decision making processes. Especially when it comes to assessing risk in sexual health decision making; this is a big deal.

Sharing knowledge about issues like HIV/AIDS can seem daunting for parents at times. What should you tell your kids and when should you tell them are some pretty common questions.

HIV North Society begins classroom based education on HIV/ AIDS starting in Grade 6, but there are many ways parents can build into the sexual health of their kids even earlier.

Starting at pre-school age some kids will start to understand more than we think. The ages 3 and 4 are a good time to establish lines of communication around sexuality. Begin with introducing male and female body parts, talking about the

differences between the genders, and telling them what sex is. An in-depth discussion about virus’s and infection is going to be over their heads. Be sure to affirm they can ask questions about anything they hear on TV or that their friends are saying about sex.

Fear and concern about injury and illness can sometime start around age 5. Between the ages of 5 and 9 kids may have heard about HIV and AIDS. Explain what the acronyms mean, but try not to get too technical. You can say something like, “HIV is a germ that lives in some people’s blood that can make them sick over time.” It is important to be clear that HIV cannot be caught easily like a cold or the flu. Be prepared for some interesting questions, and when you don’t know the answer, say you don’t, but you will find out.

As many parents find out, preteens (10 to 12) are growingly concerned about their bodies and their looks. Most pre-teens understand cause and effect, so it is a good time to start talking about the consequences of being sexually active, like HIV, STIs and pregnancy. During these years, information on sexual orientation, sexual activities, drugs,

and alcohol will also be timely.

Although some pre-teens will not seem to be open to many conversations (understatement of the year?), be available for questions and visit the HIV North Society or Public Health office for resources.

Choose a time to open up these discussions when you are free from distractions. Try not to corner kids when you are in a car or eating a meal. Chatting while cleaning up or preparing a meal can sometimes feel a little less confrontational.

SEX COLUMN I recently been dating this guy whom I like a lot. We had sex over the weekend and now my vagina is itching and puffy. I don’t have any pain when I pee or anything but don’t understand why I am itching? Before this weekend it had been about 2 years since I had sex.

If your vagina or vulva is still itching and looking puffy, pink, red or inflamed, it’s worth checking in with a healthcare provider. As you had sex with him only a couple of days earlier, it’s unlikely that you’re itching as a result of an STI infection – symptoms from chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes and other STIs typically take longer to appear, if they ever do (many people never notice STI symptoms).

Did you use a condom when you had sex? If so, perhaps you are hypersensitive

or allergic to an ingredient on the lubricant on the condom, if indeed the condom was pre-lubricated (most are).

If you added store-bought lubricant, or used an arousal cream of some sort, it’s also possible that you’re irritated as a result of being sensitive or allergic to an ingredient in one of those products.

If, on the other hand, you didn’t use a condom and your guy (boyfriend?) ejaculated inside of you, or on your vulva, then you may be hypersensitive or allergic to his semen. Some women are hypersensitive/allergic to the semen of a particular man and others are hypersensitive/allergic to semen in general. Other times, the sensitivity or allergy isn’t to semen itself but to something the man ate or ingested (like nuts or penicillin) – if you’re allergic to certain foods, you may want to ask him to limit eating those foods or you may want to use condoms when you have sex.

So, how do you know what’s going on?

Aside from checking in with a healthcare provider (after all, the itching/puffiness might not even be linked to sex; maybe you have a yeast infection) you might try experimenting. Once you feel like yourself again – with your vagina being free of itching and puffiness – try changing something about the way you had sex last time. If you didn’t use a condom last time, try using a condom this time. If all goes well, then maybe you are indeed sensitive or allergic to his semen. If so, you might stick with using condoms for a while but to test the theory out more fully, you two might decide to once again go without a condom to see what happens – just make sure to use some other form of reliable birth control and to both get tested for STIs before ditching condoms.

You can do similar at-home “experiments” with other aspects of sex. If you used a lubricated condom last time, try using an un-lubricated condom and see how

that feels. Or if you had very vigorous intercourse last time (which can cause vaginal irritation), try having more gentle intercourse this time. You may be able to fix the situation at-home. If not, these types of at-home experiments can help give your doctor or nurse useful information in their quest to help you.

Read more about vaginal and vulvar health (and sex, not to mention vagina themed arts and crafts) in Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva. Health-specific information can be found in The V Book: A Doctor’s Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health.

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, The I Love You More Book, and Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva. Find our blog, sex information and archived Q&A at www.KinseyConfidential.org.

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21

Jonesin’ Crossword

LAST ISSUE’S SOLUTIONS Matt Jones (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

“Change of Address”--can you deliver?

SUDOKU To Play: Complete the grid so that every row, column and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. There is no guessing or math involved, just use logic to solve.

Across

1) Its fruit is made into paste 6) Prince William’s mother 11) Some radios 14) Before 15) Cold War era columnist Joseph 16) Pitchblende, for one 17) “___ believe we’ve met...”

18) Actress Thurman, after joining the “More Than a Feeling” band?

20) Abe, after being demoted to the dollar bill?

22) “Spamalot” creator Idle 23) Prefix meaning one-tenth 24) Scream from atop a chair 25) Class that requires little effort 26) Compass dir.

27) Rapture 28) Batting stat 30) Hebrew letter 31) Skillet 32) Driving hazard 34) Divine guidance from an “Entourage” agent?

37) Came to fit, as clothing 38) Get prepared for battle 39) No longer active, as a Sgt. 40) Suffix after employ 41) ___ Butterworth’s 42) Railroad stop: abbr.

45) Love, to Laurent 47) Massive Brit. lexicon 48) Frequent documentary subj.

49) Lives in print?

50) Explorer Walter’s new company?

53) Bonham Carter’s personal ambulance staff?

55) ___ Lippi (painter of “Madonna and Child Enthroned”) 56) Vexation 57) Dustpan “co-worker” 58) Shaq’s surname 59) Part of AMA 60) Spray perfume 61) Talking Head David

Quote Scramble “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom” ~ Anias Nin

Down

1) Groups of craftsmen 2) Private garments 3) Right away 4) Leonardo’s hometown 5) Choir member 6) Coleman of “9 to 5” 7) “Do ___ like I’m kidding?”

8) Part of AMA 9) Staff figure?

10) Abbr. on military mail 11) Excellent, to Roger Ebert 12) He taught Daniel-san 13) Capri’s Blue Grotto, for instance 19) Teacher’s org.

21) Catlike 25) Downy ducks 27) Oscar winner Bardem 28) Rand Paul’s father 29) Rum brand with a fruit bat on the label 31) “Batman” sound effect 32) ___ Speedwagon 33) Aries animal 34) Grand opening 35) Went back to the drawing board with 36) Rehab relapse sign, for short 37) Order from a villain to the henchmen 41) Start of a tryst request 42) “Dora the Explorer” antagonist 43) Historic musical “Alley” of Manhattan 44) Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls 46) Fair ___ laws 47) “Stand and Deliver” actor Edward James ___ 48) Likely to complain about everything 50) Not an everyday occurrence 51) “___ Flux” (MTV cartoon) 52) Toothpaste amount 54) “Community” network ©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords

22 theVAULTmagazine

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THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Unscramble the coloured squares to find out who wrote, produced and co-directed the film.

JACK SALLY OOGIE BOOGIE ZERO STOP MOTION MAYOR CHRISTMASTOWN HALLOWEENTOWN DISNEY

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CYCLOPS CLOWN ELVES REINDEER GIANT SNAKE PRESENTS SANTA CLAUS

theVAULTmagazine

wishes you and yours a safe & Happy Holidays

By Jason Hewitt

Obscure Wizardry

Look for Issue 7 on Jan. 6, 2012

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