attributes. There are various free online applications to use that let you plug in text and they produce the word cloud for you, so it is a lot easier than it may at first appear. Just search online for ‘word cloud’ and you will see lots of different options to choose from.
Fun activities to do together
Random acts of kindness: Surprising our children with a random act of kindness can be a lovely way to build connections too. Do something small, something simple, something that makes them feel good. Make their favourite tea or go to a park that they love to visit. It reinforces their positive self-image. It’s about them. Make sure it’s about what they would want. Show them that you know them, that you understand what they like and that you want them to enjoy themselves.
Enlist their help: Children love to help. Does the carpet need to be vacuumed? Let them do it with you. Does the recycling need to be sorted? Does the table need to be set for dinner? Do it together. Need to make dinner? Let them help with the preparation process. While it might be messier and it may take longer in the beginning, you are teaching them essential life skills and in time your children will become your greatest helpers and they will look back and remember these as special times with you.
Let your child take the lead: Children with positive interactions at the start of their lives have a central belief that they are at the centre of the universe. This is an important part of their development and helps to support a positive sense of self and future independence. Our children may not have experienced this, so create opportunities for your child to be in the centre, to be in charge. Play Follow the Leader or Simon Says; give them control of what happens next in a contained way.
Measuring: Measure your child’s height, length of arms, feet, hands and so forth. Keep a record for later comparisons. Measure surprising things, such as their smile, how high they can jump, their hug. Keep a record so they can see how much they have grown. Or peel an apple or use sugar laces to measure with that so they can eat their smile, their height or even their foot!
Build a den: Use sofa cushions, chairs and blankets to build a den. Have fun in the den, read stories by torchlight, play games and even eat in there.
Make a cardboard fort or castle: Use cardboard boxes from the recycling to build a fort, or a castle, or any structure that fits with your child’s interests. Have fun decorating it. Colour it in, stick things on it. Go wild!
Make a recycling model: Use cardboard and plastic from the recycling to build a monster, a robot, a dinosaur, a car, a rocket – anything that sparks your child’s imagination.
Make an ice tower: Use a large, straight plastic bottle with a wide neck. Put toys and other waterproof items inside and fill it with water. Put it in the freezer until it is frozen solid. Cut the bottle off and then with your child try different ways to melt the ice and release the toys. Use salt, cold water, hot water, experiment together.
Indoor bowling: Use rolled up socks or a soft ball and empty cans or plastic bottles to create a homemade indoor bowling alley.
Basketball sock toss: Use wastepaper bins or laundry baskets to create different targets. Use rolled up socks or a soft ball to toss into the targets. Take turns to see how many you can get in the baskets. To make it more complex for older children, make some targets smaller or further away and award different points for each, depending on the level of difficulty. You can even make it a competition to see who can get the highest score in a minute.
Cotton wool blow football: Lie on the floor on your tummies and blow cotton wool balls back and forth trying to get the cotton ball past each other or both blowing at the same time to keep the ball in the middle.
Home car wash: Get together toy cars, trucks and rockets and line them up in the bath for a mini car wash. Dunk them in soapy water and wash it off with water squirters or a shower spray.
Disco inferno: Dim the lights, close the curtains, have a torch each and sing and dance along to some fun tracks.
Fifteen minutes of fun: Work out a few activities together that can be done in 15 minutes and agree to do one of the activities of your child’s choosing each day. Create a physical list on paper that can be put up somewhere prominent so that they can look at it to make their choice. We had a pictorial chart of all the activities, but if your child is a good reader, you could just list them. Even when you are terribly busy it feels manageable to agree to take 15 minutes out. You might not think that it is a significant amount of time, but it is not the length of time that matters, but the quality of it, and for that time your child is getting your undivided attention. If you are short of time and keeping to the 15 minutes is important, use a 15-minute sand timer so your child can see the passing of time and knows when the activity is coming to an end, which will ease the transition.
Fun
connection-building activities for the whole
family
Scavenger hunts: These are a wonderful way to get everyone involved and can be done indoors or outside. Create a list of things for them to find. Perhaps have a theme such as nature or colours or the senses. Or you can hide things for them to find.
Treasure hunts: Like a scavenger hunt, but instead of hunting for lots of items they are working towards finding one final treasure. You can do this with a series of clues leading on to the next and finally to the treasure. Or use letters for them to find, which they can rearrange to make the name of the place where they will find the treasure. If you are doing this with multiple children, engineer it so that they will not be in competition. For example, if they are hunting tokens for Easter eggs, make each child a specific colour, or if there are letters to find, make a separate set for each child.
Hand and footprints: Using paint and a large sheet of paper make handprints and footprints of all the family. You can even do bottom prints for maximum hilarity. The resulting artwork will be a lovely reminder of a fun family day.
Creating the storm: Cycle through these actions so that together you create a storm. Start with rubbing your hands together for wind, then move to patting thighs for a rain shower, building into clapping hands
for heavy rain, and moving up to stomping feet with clapping hands for thunder, making as much noise as you all can, and then calming back down through rain to just wind again. This is a fantastic way to get rid of pent-up energy and create a positive mood.
Blow over: All sit down in a circle and take turns to blow each other over. Make the falling overs very silly and exaggerated so you all have a laugh. Encourage your children to take bigger longer breaths in through their nose and puff out hard. This encourages deep breathing, which is helpful for regulation.
Mirroring: Stand facing everyone else and move your arms, legs and any part of your body or face. Everyone else copies you. Do it fast, slow, in a rhythm. Play about with it, have fun together.
Traffic lights: Ask everyone to do something physical such as running, walking, star jumps, hopping, dancing, sitting. Say green light to start, red light to stop.
Special handshake: Make up a special handshake together, taking turns to add new moves such as a high five, finger wiggles, bottom bumps and so on. You can build the moves up over time and make it into a family ritual.
Build an indoor obstacle course: Create an obstacle course indoors using chairs, cushions, blankets or anything you have to hand. Get your child included in the choices and the building. Make things that you need to go over or under, or even add clothes or items that you must put on as you go. Perhaps put on multiple hats – the sillier the things you add, the funnier it can be.
Build an outdoor obstacle course: Create an obstacle course outdoors. Work together to make things to go around, under or jump over. Add beams or lines to balance on. Set things up to weave between. If you have a dog, see if the dog can do it with you. Or even create your own doggy agility course. You can go round the course together with your child or go round separately, whatever works for the age and stage of your child.
Follow the leader: Take turns to be the leader, and everyone else follows and copies the leader. As the leader, you can do silly walks, dances, jumps – anything that you can all do and that the space allows.
Family band: Using boxes and bottles from the recycling, make homemade musical instruments. Add elastic band to make strings. Play them together as a family band. Maximum noise and fun!
When we spend quality time with our children, we reinforce that they matter, that we love them. It says how important they are to us. When we do things together as a family it builds a sense of belonging and togetherness. A sense of family builds everyone’s self-esteem.
Checking in
During the day, commentate in a positive way with your child. Show your child that they are in your thoughts and that you love them. Reinforce how much you care. For example, say, ‘Good morning, how did you sleep? I hope you had a good night. I missed you while you were sleeping’ or, ‘You look very smart in that top. The colour makes your eyes sparkle’ or, ‘Toast – good choice’. Perhaps count their fingers and toes, or their freckles. Check that they still have the same button nose, or curly hair. Notice lots of special things about your child that reassure them that everything is still the same and that you and they remain connected. In these interactions, you are building a positive sense of themselves, helping them to see that they are loved and worthy of that love. As a wonderful way to highlight how far they have come, talk about how they can do something today that they could not do last week or last month, and thereby build their self-belief and sense of achievement.
Let your child know that even when you are not with them physically, they are in your thoughts. Write notes and drop them into their lunch boxes. Or leave a post-it note on their bedside table or in the fridge on their favourite yogurt. Or laminate a photo of the two of you together having fun and put it in their school jacket pocket or hang it on their bag. Be creative!
Tell your children that you love them. Say it often and for no reason other than to show that they are special to you. That they belong in your heart.
Your child may fear that if they do something wrong or disappoint