School of Thought

School of Thought No Homework Please

By Etti Siegel

Dear Etti,

Homework can cause real problems in my family. My otherwise sweet kid becomes surly and rude. This makes me irritated, and I am probably not reacting as nicely as I should.

I love summer mostly because there is no homework!

Do you have any advice for me?

Signed, -No HW Please

Dear No HW Parent,

I get it. Homework can be a real source of conflict for some parents and their children. You did not provide me with much information, so I will share a few thoughts with you from behind the teacher’s desk.

First of all, nobody likes to feel less than smart. Your child may be struggling in school, and when he comes home, he has to do more of what makes him feel bad about himself. That would make anyone act surly!

But why does he feel less capable than his peers?

If your child is not doing well in one area, perhaps a tutor might help. It is not always a great idea for a parent to work with a struggling child. A children need a parent to be unconditionally there for them, and when parents help with a child who “doesn’t get it,” tension can cause a rift in the relationship. A tutor is usually knowledgeable in both the subject matter and in motivating your child.

Sometimes a homework helper is a good idea. This is an older child who acts like a big brother or sister and does homework with your child at a set, prearranged

time. This works if your child just needs some one-on-one extra attention, which in some houses is not available in the evening hours. Some older elementary school students are willing to take on the task at babysitter rates, which is a lot less expensive than a tutor. This is only a good idea of your child needs attention, not real academic assistance.

If your child seems to find reading challenging, consulting with the teacher might give you an idea of the class level and how you might boost your child’s proficiency. Since reading is at the core of all schoolwork, struggling with reading can make all school-related tasks so much harder.

You might want to rule out a learning or processing issue, or a hearing or vision issue, as any of these could be the reason for frustration. The earlier a child gets

help, the quicker (sometimes months instead of years) the matter is resolved.

Some children need a snack before tackling homework, while others might just need to play a bit.

Some children might prefer getting homework done right away; “getting it over with.”

Some children do their homework on the bus home.

Whatever your child’s homework time looks like, remember something important: homework is not meant to be busy work, so the practice is obviously necessary to keep your child’s skills up. If homework time is a struggle, turn to your child’s teacher and begin the discovery process.

Why is your child so frustrated? If he could do the work easily, he would.

Hatzlacha! Etti

Your child may be struggling in school, and when he comes home, he has to do more of what makes him feel bad about himself.

Mrs. Etti Siegel holds a MS in Teaching and Learning/Educational Leadership and brings sound teaching advice to her audiences culled from her over 35 years of teaching and administrative experience. Etti was an Adjunct Professor at Aspen University and at Concordia College of NY and is now an Adjunct at the College of Mount Saint Vincent/Sara Shenirer. She is a coach and educational consultant for Catapult Learning and HigherSchools/ FACTS Education Solutions, is a sought-after mentor and workshop presenter around the country, and a popular presenter for Sayan (a teacher-mentoring program), Yachad/OU, Hidden Sparks, and the Consortium of Jewish Day Schools. She is a frequent contributor to Hamechanech Magazine and The Journal of Jewish School Leadership. She will be writing weekly for The Jewish Home. Mrs. Siegel can be reached at ettisiegel@gmail.com.