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SEPTEMBER 17, 2021 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Parenting Pearls
Simcha on Sukkos By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
D
espite the harsh environment of the desert, Hashem protected us with the Ananei Hakavod. Irrelevant of how harsh the outside world was, our ancestors could take comfort in their personal divine protection. We celebrate this special relationship and gift each year as Sukkos rolls around. It’s easy to think that what happened in the midbar stayed in the midbar but that isn’t the case. Our children are surrounded by complicated and painful surroundings. It’s our job as parents to create those clouds of protection for them. While we can’t, and shouldn’t, protect them from every negative, they need to be kept shielded from the full extent of the onslaught. We, too, can provide a home of protection and love for our children. While we can’t stop arrows or snakes with our bare hands, we can do our best to create a fortress of protection for our family and help each member grow, in a safe environment, to their full potential.
Experience the Mitzvos Children learn best from doing rather than lectures. Hands-on is the way to go, particularly with the youngest of learners. These yomim tovim are such an enjoyable way to experience the mitzvos. Shaking the lulav, smelling the esrog (when permitted), living in the sukkah, banging the hoshanos, and dancing with the Torah are all active and fun ways to experience the mitzvos. Take advantage of having such an automatic learning environment surrounding you. Allow your child to have a blast, all while serving Hashem. By creating positive associations to the mitzvos, we are giving them a gift both for now and the future. In general, it can be a challenge to get kids involved and interested. We know that we often want our children
child to do in the sukkah and don’t underestimate how much they will feel from the experience.
Hakafos
to feel connected and take part in the festivities, but they can be hesitant. Over this week you have so much at your fingertips for children to enjoy that it’s worth taking full advantage of it. I have a video from last year of my toddlers relishing the banging of the hoshanos. Who knew banging branches on the front steps could be such a thrill?! With a little creativity and focus, we can attempt to make each minute count the most. Don’t forget to have fun alongside your child, too. You put the work into cooking, cleaning, building the sukkah and all the other necessities of the yom tov, and you deserve some enjoyment out of it, not just exhaustion. Plus, your children will appreciate everything more with you beside them.
Simcha in the Sukkah The sukkah can be so much fun. Kids spend hours building tents and forts with their blankets and here they have a real one in their backyard! While obviously the sukkah has more kedusha than their bed linens, the sukkah is easily an enjoyable experience. I grew up where we were one of
the few Jewish families in our immediate radius. There was a church on the corner, and most of my neighbors’ children attended the church’s school next to it. My neighbors were, for the most part, overwhelmingly respectful of us being Orthodox Jews. I still remember how much the neighborhood children anticipated our sukkah. Yes, they looked forward to seeing it in our backyard and were thrilled when “the hut holiday” arrived. There is something truly special about a sukkah that nearly everyone can feel. Take advantage of that natural enthusiasm and make your sukkah experience one they’ll remember. Sing and dance in the sukkah. Do projects there and play games. We used to make popsicle stick sukkot as a project each year. As they made their miniature, wooden models we were able to discuss the halachos and requirements of a kosher sukkah. Some years I purchased board games so we could enjoy family game time in the sukkah. The sukkah can easily be the initial infrastructure necessary for amazing family together time. Think of what would be special for your
You might ask what could be said about hakafos. Dancing, singing, and candy are a popular combination for most kids that it almost seems not worth discussing. For most kids, this is the highlight of their year, competing only with Purim. For other children, there are reasons to be hesitant. Some kids have serious difficulties in large crowds or noisy environments. Other kids may have limited attention spans or other concerns. One of our precious children was exactly that way, and we were challenged with how to give him an enjoyable hakafos experience without overwhelming him. We found a wonderful yeshiva hakafos that had plenty of space for dancing. My husband walked in the circle, holding our son’s hand, as our son walked along the outer perimeter. Our son enjoyed the dancing so much that he chose that as his first choice for hakafos for over a decade, long after the original issues were resolved. You don’t need to dance where we dance but, with a little research, you can hopefully find a comfortable environment for your child on Simchas Torah. While some children enjoy the loud and crowded shul, others prefer the more spacious and roomy location. Forcing your child to go far out of their comfort zone might cause them more pain than love for the mitzvah, chas v’shalom. Many families really want to dance in their usual makom tefilla and that is beautiful. If it won’t work for your child, then don’t impose your makom on them. Find a solution that works for everyone. Maybe that means dancing in your special place without your child while finding a few
