Notable Quotes

“Say What?!”

I see people on the street walking outside with a mask on, like you [silly] moron! I just want to shout at them outside the car, you’re a moron! You never could get it outside, really, and you’re alone walking on the street with a mask? You can’t say on one end, we’ve got to listen to the science and the data, and then when science says you can’t get Covid outside and you never could and you don’t need a mask anymore, be like, oh, I’m just not going to do it!

- Bill Maher, HBO

Now we’re over the – it’s over. Can we just say it’s over? I know it was great fun to have a pandemic and order Grubhub every night, but…

- Ibid.

Being the very newest of our holidays, white people, I must say, are very confused. Do we barbecue? Is there a mattress sale? What is the right time to start drinking? 2!

- Bill Maher, talking about the newest federal holiday, Juneteenth

CTE is coming at some point…without a doubt.

– Former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler in a Barstool Sports interview, stating that he suffered at least 15 concussions while playing in the NFL and he is certain that he will get the progressive brain disease, CTE

I am delighted that this work is presented in the midst of pumpkins, watermelons, and beers, where reality is, where people’s lives are.

- Serge Lasvignes, president of the Centre Pompidou Museum, which lent a Picasso paining to a French supermarket as part of a project to make great works of art more accessible, in an interview with ABC News

Everybody involved on the American side working with the Chinese scientists circled the wagons and dramatically came out against the idea that it was a lab leak. In the February 19 letter by 27 scientists, they said that anybody who suggested it was a lab leak was a right-wing conspiracy nut, particularly Trump. Now, why did they circle the wagons? Because if it had been a lab leak, they’re implicated because they have a relationship with the lab, and … I think it puts everything they did very much at risk. So, that February 19 letter by 27 scientists in 2020 saying that if you believe it’s a lab leak, you’re a nut, tells me everything I need to know. I think they knew it was a lab leak, and they tried to bury it.

- Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) discussing the origins of coronavirus, on Fox News

MORE QUOTES [

Seth, you can’t even get 1 million viewers a night. Why, you wonder? Your show [stinks], and you are not funny. You are locked into partisan politics of which you know nothing. It’s just a matter of time before your boring [bad] show is cancelled. Did I mention your show is boring, dull and is unwatchable?

- Tweet by Sean Hannity after NBC Late Night Host Seth Myers criticized Hannity

When I play chess, it’s as close as I’ve ever come to a sense of equality. When you start the game, no matter who you are, no matter what your physical condition is or where you come from or whether you have money, both sides start with the same thing.

- Jessica Lauser, 41, who is legally blind and who is a competitive chess player

I have read and heard a lot of times that if you don’t achieve mastery by a certain age, you never will. I don’t have the same life trajectory as most people.

- Ibid., who is hoping of becoming a world renowned chess master

The more extreme they get, the more obvious how political it is … “Fauci has blood on his hands.” Are you kidding me? … Here’s a guy whose entire life has been devoted to saving lives, and now you’re telling me he’s like Hitler? You know, come on, folks.

– Dr. Fauci, defending himself in a New York Times podcast appearance

Sold almost all of my bitcoin. Don’t need it.

- CNBC’s Jim Cramer, who soured on cryptocurrency Tony Fauci is not acting as a scientist or a doctor anymore. He’s acting as a Democratic Party activist in a white lab coat. Why doesn’t he tell us what science, what data, backs up the Biden administration’s stupid mask mandate for airports and airplanes? I mean, are you more likely to get the coronavirus at an airport than you are a shopping mall or an airplane with its massive filtration systems?

- Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AR) on Fox News

Is it really necessary to kick off a family with an autistic child who can’t wear a mask peacefully for an entire airplane? Does Dr. Fauci have evidence to support that from the data and the science? I mean, we shouldn’t allow Tony Fauci and Facebook to determine what we can and cannot say about this virus because, from the beginning, he’s been giving politicized advice.

– Ibid.

The Olympics are almost here, and today organizers announced that venues will be at 50 percent capacity. That’s right. Fifty percent, which means only four people will be allowed to watch fencing instead of the normal eight.

— Jimmy Fallon

Also they said fans aren’t allowed to cheer. Although they say that at the beginning of every graduation, and parents are still like, “Thomas, yeah! Tommy, you did it. That’s my boy, Tommy!’”

— Jimmy Fallon

MORE QUOTES

I think the people who are running the place are still working on that. I’m sorry that it hasn’t happened yet.

– Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.), who has given impassioned speeches about George Floyd and racism on the Senate floor, when asked why he is a member of an allwhite beach club, even though when confronted about the same issue four years ago, he said that things would change soon

It’s a long tradition in Rode Island and there are many of them, and I think that we just need to work through the issues.

– Ibid., when asked if he – who has been a vocal Democrat on matters of racism – is OK with there being white-only beach clubs in his hometown

Sheldon Whitehouse has been a fighter for racial and economic justice his whole life. Full stop.

- Tweet in support of Sen. Whitehouse by fellow Democrat Rep. David Cicilline (D-R.I.)

You can’t even have fun nowadays without these characters trying to get you canceled and things like that.... I’m trying to hang on for another couple of years until I’m 60, and then they can [all go jump in a lake]. I’m only working until 60. I’ve already told them that. I’m not working until the day I die. That’s just stupid. And if I don’t have enough money by now, I’m an idiot, anyway. They should fire me, anyway.

- NBA Hall of Famer and analyst Charles Barkley

All that I have done through my years of service has always been towards defending human rights.

- Iran’s new President-elect Ebrahim Raisi at a press conference, defending his role in a mass execution of approximately 30,000 people in 1988 when he served as the judiciary chief of Iran

My goal is to win the Olympics so I can burn a U.S. flag on the podium.

- From a Facebook post by BMX freestyle Olympian Chelsea Wolfe who is competing in the women’s Olympics despite having an unnatural advantage

In life, there is no happiness.

– Russian President Vladimir Putin at his press conference last week quoting Leo Tolstoy

That’s actually an excerpt from Putin’s new book, “Chicken Soup for the Russian Soul.”

— Jimmy Fallon

“There’s no happiness in life” sounds like the slogan for Russian Applebee’s.

— Jimmy Fallon

I’m guessing this is probably why Putin isn’t asked to speak at a lot of graduations.

— James Corden