14 minute read
Dr. Moshe Katz Lives to Tell His Story by Tammy Mark
Parenting Pearls Enjoy Your Children
By Sara Rayvych, MSEd
Afew years ago, I was speaking to an occupational therapist, and she made an interesting comment. Her observation was that, while the parents she met always loved their children, she didn’t feel that all of them enjoyed their children.
I found this statement to be very interesting. I can’t say whether or not it’s true, but I can say it gave me a different way of looking at parent-child interactions.
Too often, we get caught up in the daily grind of life and don’t take the time to really enjoy our children. We love them, care for them, and do all the necessary parenting tasks but we don’t as often take the time to enjoy the cute and funny things they do. Kids are fun people and add lots of enjoyment to the day. Kids also see the world in ways adults no longer do.
Additionally, as much as we love our children, it doesn’t mean our children always feel it. It can be hard to express our love for them, and as much as we may feel it, they may not always sense it. Making an effort to ensure our children feel our love for them is important, too.
This does not mean we need to spend every waking minute with our children to show we love them. Everyone needs time to themselves and this, too, should be respected. Pushing yourself too far past your comfort level can easily lead to feelings of resentment. Feeling resentment and anger towards your children is unlikely to make you enjoy them more.
Kids Enjoy Being Enjoyed
Kids want their parents to be happy with them and enjoy their company. Don’t you like to know someone enjoys spending time with you? Kids are no different. Children naturally have a connection to their parents and a desire to be close to them. You can see that even children in abusive situations, chas v’shalom, can still want the attention and love of an abusive parent. Even more so, children will want to feel the devotion of a loving parent.
It’s innate for children to want to have the approval and attention of the adults in their life. This is not only natural but also important for their basic survival. By giving our children that extra connection, we are fulfilling a basic, inborn need.
Children thrive on parental love. It’s a boost to your child when they see how much you care. Enjoying their companionship only adds to this. Think of how hurtful it is for a child to not think their parents love them and how incredible they feel knowing their adults adore them. Again, even if we adore them more than they can imagine, they still need to know it.
Bonus Reward for Parents
Parenting is hard. I don’t need to cover up this basic fact. It’s hard, tiring, and difficult, but we love our children and (hopefully) recognize they’re a gift. For all our hard work, we should get to enjoy them. When you take the time to sit back and just enjoy the little things they do, it makes parenting that much more enjoyable and rewarding. It also makes parenting a little easier during those even harder moments. How many of us have taken a few minutes after an insanely crazy day just to see how peaceful and sweet our little ones look when they’re sleeping? No matter what they do during the day, they look innocent and calm when they sleep. These little moments help recharge our parental batteries so we can face the next day.
Don’t wait till they do something big to feel that nachas; enjoy the little things they do throughout the day. There are so many small accomplishments our kids do that we should enjoy them. The new big brother shares something with his little sister – that’s a sweet accomplishment. Your child got the davening award at camp – enjoy it! Someone tells you how well behaved your child is at the park – say “thank you” and smile big. Take the time to feel that pride; you can even let your child know. Feel good that this accomplished child is your child.
Kids say the funniest things. Toddlers, in particular, can say such interesting things that you wish you wrote down all of those pearls of wisdom. As their minds mature and expand their understanding, they begin to learn more and more about the world around them. As much as they understand, they often have so much more to go. They look at the world so differently that you can often think of your little one as a built-in comedy show.
Even teenagers add humor as they begin to show more and more of their personality. Enjoy their comments and their humor. Laugh a bit and keep that smile there.
Try to make some time to spend privately with each child. Even if it’s brief, quality time together is a relatively easy and meaningful way to not only show your child you value them but also to get a chance to see their unique self. Personally, I’ve often found that I get to appreciate my children in ways I don’t normally get to when I spend private time with them. They naturally open up differently when it’s one-on-one time.
Add in Your Favorites
Even when you enjoy spending time with your children, it doesn’t mean you enjoy every activity they do. Don’t hesitate to suggest activities you do enjoy. You may prefer one park, trip, game or activity over another one.
As an example, I try to keep certain board games in the house that I can at least tolerate or even enjoy playing. My kids know which I prefer and will often suggest those over the ones I don’t like. This doesn’t mean I never play games I don’t like, but it’s easier to be motivated to play a board game that I do enjoy, especially if I’m tired and really don’t want to play anything. It can be better to play the game you can get excited over and really get involved with your child than the one you dislike and can’t wait to end. Your child will pick up on your attitude. Often, the time spent with you is more important to them than the actual activity.
Watch How You Phrase Things
I’ve heard parents talk about their kids, and sometimes it’s been rather negative. I don’t know if parents al-
ways realize how their comments or parent-to-parent schmoozing sounds to their child’s sensitive ears. Saying how you chose the camp with longer hours to keep your child out of the house can easily sound hurtful to a child. Another example: when people hear I homeschool my children, a frequent response is “I could never spend all day with my kids.” Parents say this to me in front of their children. We know parents (hopefully) don’t mean it the way it sounds, but
how do you think it makes their child feel? Let’s make an effort that when kids overhear us speaking to others, they feel good about our feelings for them and not like they’re a burden. There are times we may need to discuss things that aren’t positive about our children, such as to their teacher. In these circumstances, let’s make sure there aren’t any prying ears listening in. I will remind you that the walls have ears, as do the doors and kids hiding behind couches.
Enjoying your children and the things they do makes parenting them sweeter. It’s so much easier to parent children when you can enjoy them, laugh with them (or at their antics), and appreciate the natural insanity that comes with having kids. Also, ensuring our children feel the intense love we have for them can only help them develop into the fantastic people they’re on the way to becoming.
Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.
Landscaping & Hardscaping
Design-Build-Maintain Patios, Driveways & Walkways Outdoor Kitchens, Fireplaces & Fire Pits Playing Courts & Putting Greens Landscape Design & Water Features Artificial Turf & Install Specialists
COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL Green: Spaces, Roofs & Architecture
In The K tchen General Tso’s Salmon
By Naomi Nachman
This is an updated recipe for General Tso’s chicken, but instead of using chicken, we use fish. It is much lighter in calories. To make it even lighter, you can first batter the fish and then bake it for 25 minutes at 350�F (instead of frying it)� then continue with the rest of the recipe.
Ingredients
b ½ cup flour b 3 large eggs, whisked b 1 cup panko crumbs b ¼ cup vegetable oil b 1 ½ pounds salmon, cubed b 1/3 cup soy sauce b 1 cup apricot jam b 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar b¼ cup brown sugar b 4 garlic cloves, minced b ¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
Preparation
1. Set up three bowls. Place flour in one bowl, eggs in a second bowl, and crumbs in a third bowl. 2. Pat fish dry with paper towels. Working in batches, dredge fish in flour, then eggs, and then crumbs. 3. Then place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. 4. In a large sauté pan, working in batches, fry the fish on all sides, drain on a paper towel and set aside. 5. In the same skillet, wipe out excess oil, and on medium flame, add soy sauce, apricot jam, and balsamic vinegar, brown sugar, and garlic. Stir sauce together. Add the fish back in the pan and toss with sauce and cook on low for 10 minutes. 6. Remove from the pan to a platter and sprinkle with scallions. 7. Serve with rice.
Naomi Nachman, the owner of The Aussie Gourmet, caters weekly and Shabbat/ Yom Tov meals for families and individuals within The Five Towns and neighboring communities, with a specialty in Pesach catering. Naomi is a contributing editor to this paper and also produces and hosts her own weekly radio show on the Nachum Segal Network stream called “A Table for Two with Naomi Nachman.” Naomi gives cooking presentations for organizations and private groups throughout the New York/New Jersey Metropolitan area. In addition, Naomi has been a guest host on the QVC TV network and has been featured in cookbooks, magazines as well as other media covering topics related to cuisine preparation and personal chefs. To obtain additional recipes, join The Aussie Gourmet on Facebook or visit Naomi’s blog. Naomi can be reached through her website, www.theaussiegourmet.com or at (516) 295-9669.
Mind Y ur Business
Country Yossi: “Create Yourself”
By Yitzchok Saftlas
This column features business insights from a recent “Mind Your Business with Yitzchok Saftlas” radio show. The weekly “Mind Your Business” show – broadcasting since 2015 – features interviews with Fortune 500 executives, business leaders and marketing gurus. Prominent guests include: John Sculley, former CEO of Apple and Pepsi; Dick Schulze, founder and Chairman Emeritus of Best Buy; Beth Comstock, former Vice Chair of GE; among over 400+ senior-level executives and business celebrities.
Yitzchok Saftlas, President of Bottom Line Marketing Group, hosts the weekly “Mind Your Business” show, which airs at 10pm every Sunday night on 710 WOR and throughout America on the iHeartRadio Network.
On a recent 710 WOR “Mind Your Business” Broadcast, Yitzchok Saftlas spoke with noted musician, author, and entertainer Country Yossi.
Your stature begs the question, was there a moment in your childhood where you imagined what you would accomplish?
The truth is, I never anticipated I’d have a career in radio and magazine publishing. By education, I’m a guidance counselor. I majored in psychology. When I graduated, there were no jobs in guidance counseling. There was a glut of guidance counselors at the time. I ended up being a diamond dealer on 47th Street for many, many years. And then I met Larry Gordon, currently the publisher of The Five Town Jew-
ish Times.
During this time, he was doing the morning show for many years on Upsala College, right before Nachum Segal. But he ended up interviewing me because we put out our Country Yossi album at that time.
We did the interview and I said, “This is a nice way to make a living.” He said, “Would you want to sit in for me sometime?” I said, “Yeah, next time you want to take off, give me a call.” A few weeks later, he gave me a call. I sat in, and I did the show. We did it out of Smyrna Avenue in Staten Island at that time. And it was fun, but I was very subdued. “Hi, thank you for calling.” It wasn’t the persona I developed once I got more experience. “It’s gevaldig! Unbelievable! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! You got it right! You win a prize! Junk from my trunk!”
So that started my radio career. Then I started the magazine career because people said, “I don’t want to advertise on the radio. It’s not our thing.” A lot of chassidish people didn’t even listen to radio. I started the magazine, and baruch Hashem, that took off. Did that for 32 years. And one thing led to the other.
I used to write parodies of country music. Johnny Cash was popular at that time. “Because I’m a Jew, I do that too.” So, I started writing that kind of stuff, but I didn’t do anything with it. I just had it in the drawer, and I saved them up. Over the years, I saved up a lot of songs. It was a fortuitous meeting with Heshy Walfish that was a turning point. He had an orchestra, the Messengers Orchestra, and I got friendly with him. He said, “Do you have any songs that you’ve written? Let’s hear them.”
So, I got all my songs, I started playing them for him. He said, “This is great. We should make a record!” OK, what should we call it? We’ll call it Country Yossi and the Shteeble-Hoppers. We came up with the word Shteeble-Hoppers, and we put out that first album and it took off. It was amazing and popular among the heimishe oilam because they never heard the originals of all those songs. Matter of fact, years later, people would stop me in the street and say, “You know, Kenny Rogers stole your song. Johnny Cash is recording your song. Do you know that?”
I had to explain that it’s the other way around, “vinehapoch hu.” So that’s when the career started. I ended up leaving the diamond business because the radio show and the magazine took off.
If a great idea comes to mind – a song, a concept, anything – what’s your recommendation to put the “genie in the bottle,” to capture it?
Immediately, grab your cellphone and sing it into your voice memo. I’ve written songs right on the road; I’m in the car with no tape recorder. You’ve got to record it.
What’s very important to realize is that not every song you write is great. Some people think that if they write a song, you have to record it. It’s going to be a hit, right? A lot of times I compose a song, spend hours working on it, only to listen to it the next day and say, “Not that great. Well, I wasted my time.”
I think that’s a very important
